my life has been changed forever

these cis girls are talking to me about me being trans and i… they can’t tell my agab. they had no idea what Kind Of Trans i was. im not binding and i’m wearing a skirt and makeup. fucking WINNING at gender rn

So I'm finally home alone for a few hours, so I decided to sing properly cause it's been ages and it's my favourite thing to do when alone

I also remembered earlier I still have that voice training app that I haven't really used so I thought I'd check to see how my singing voice is on that scale...

I barely went into the male voice range the whole time I've been singing holy shit

I will entrench myself in literature this year no matter what the fuck it takes

I just want to be high and have someone touching me everywhere

running their hands over my chest, drawing circles with their fingertips around my nipples, their mouth on my neck, nails running along my thighs, hot breath in my ear, pulling slightly at my hair, fingers slipping to see how wet I am while my brain goes fuzzy from how tingly everything feels...

fuck

Ranveer Singh and Tota Roy Choudhury performing kathak, an Indian classical dance form typically performed by women, in ROCKY AUR RANI KII PREM KAHAANI (2023)

Never feel more masc then the times I try to look fem

hey that little voice in your head telling you to cut your own hair is absolutely right btw.

I think sometimes, people can be intimidated by the idea that as they transition, they will stop feeling euphoria or happy in their gender, and I think that's assuming incorrectly many times. It isn't that you completely stop feeling those feelings, but they might change and grow and even grow in intensity as you start transitioning the way you want to.

I've been transitioning for years, and I find that when I am lifting, when I am helping people, when I am creating, I feel so much more euphoric because now, I feel more free to truly hone these skills and crafts.

I think for some, they've internalized the idea that if they are not completely and utterly happy all the time, ecstatic to the nth degree, that says something about the viability of their transition or even their transness. The impulse to cover up your feelings, to be fearful all the time of your own self will only alienate you further from yourself. It's okay to not be sure, but I worry sometimes if that is inhibiting people from what they want.

I need to shout about Distraction for a minute, so bear with me.

First off, ouch. Big fucking ouch. That thing has been licking the wound it helped create ever since it came out.

Second of all, the repetition of "it's too late for me" always being the background noise to an otherwise quite quiet song, other than the breakdown, is absolutely diabolical. The breakdown feels like a panic attack. A complete and utter mental breakdown finished with a scream-sob of something that has permeated the whole song; it's too late for me. It's always been too late, even with the help of Her, She who is not like any other and is far more than one could ask for, it's too late.

It's always been too late. She found him in the cold waters, on the verge of drowning in self hatred and tried to pull him up, but he didn't want to get Her hand damp. He is not worthy of it all and he screams for the final time for Her to let go because it's too late.

And then everything stops. We are back to the beginning; the quiet, repeatative beat of an anxious heart.

What makes it worse? Distraction is a loop. Starts on the same chord and ends on the exact same one with the same beat. She comes back again and again but it's still too late.

Distraction is a loop of self hatred laced with the inner turmoil of a Thing that doesn't believe it can ever get better because it fears the help of others. It believes it's not worthy of touch, and so rots in falling further again as it warps into something it never wanted to be; broken into fractions and driven to distraction.

Fuck it bro, Trans Bruno

I hc that he has an extremely androgynous voice that helped him transition (without needing t or surgery) in the long run

(I’m a trans man btw so please don’t turn this into something weird. This post is basically self-therapy to me, nothing else.)

"c'mon! let's have a little punching match!" [for Day 1 of tomgregweek: messy fight]

Tfw when you’re reading something unrelated, an idea clicks for something you’re writing, and even though you’ve not put it into practice yet with one single word, you think “Heheheee, I’m so GOOD”

The amount of nonbinary people I've encountered that in some way relate their gender to deer is not insignificant, and I wonder why that is. Everyone always talks about nonbinary people and frogs but i think there's something here with the deer