#i feel like this would definitely be some shit anakin would say to obi when they’re reunited
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Is it just me or do you get a little exasperated/tired with how everyone seems to let Anakin do whatever he wants and there’s no repercussions?
Like when R2 got lost and Anakin admitted that he never wiped R2’s memories, ignore his mission to blow up Grievous’s spy post to look for him on the off chance he was there. All Obi-Wan seemed to do was sigh and shake his head.
I just wish he got more pushback and punishments instead of everyone letting things slide.
Oh definitely, sometimes. Like I get it, generally, in universe, that most of the time when Anakin does something sort-of stupid that it tends to work out anyway and the Jedi seem to work from a position of "let them learn from their own mistakes rather than punishing them for making a mistake" which is good and I like that. But Anakin so rarely sees any real CONSEQUENCES for his choices, even if it's just natural consequences as opposed to an imposed punishment, that he never seems to ACTUALLY learn anything from said mistakes and instead just continues to believe he was in the right.
With the R2 example, the listening post blows up in the end and he gets R2 back. Some of his men die, but Ahsoka and Rex (who are the only ones he actually cares about of the group he brought in) both live, so while there ARE consequences to his choice, they aren't consequences that matter TO ANAKIN. So what Anakin learns from this mission isn't that he needs to have better security regarding his droid, or that sometimes he needs to let go of the people he cares about in favor of the larger mission, but just that he was RIGHT. He CAN do it all, he CAN save the people he loves AND get the mission done, so why SHOULDN'T he try to have everything he wants and assume it'll just... work out for him.
And from the Jedi's perspective here, the mission is, essentially, a success. There isn't necessarily any good reason for a "punishment" of sorts. Obi-Wan makes it clear he doesn't approve of Anakin's choices regarding R2 and he DID try to order Anakin to do certain things regardless of his feelings, Anakin just didn't follow them and technically Obi-Wan got the result he wanted anyway, so there's very little Obi-Wan can really say or do other than what he already has. In AOTC, Obi-Wan's entire arc is about recognizing that Anakin is an adult now and that the next step in both of their journeys is to learn to let Anakin make his own mistakes and just hope that Obi-Wan has trained him well enough to both avoid particularly catastrophic mistakes and allow him to learn from the mistakes he DOES make so he can continue to be a better Jedi as a result. Obi-Wan has to let go, step back, and LET Anakin make those mistakes and just have faith that he's done enough. We see that continue in TCW, not just with Obi-Wan, but with some of the other Jedi as well, like Mace and Yoda and Plo sometimes. They all KNOW Anakin's doing stupid shit sometimes, they KNOW Anakin struggles with a lot of things, and we do see them coming up to try to talk to him and give him advice more than once, but their philosophy isn't to punish him for struggling, but rather to have faith that he'll make it THROUGH the struggle and do better.
So while I don't necessarily wish he got more punishments in canon, because I do think the Jedi are actually making the right, healthy choice regarding the choices they KNOW ABOUT, I do wish he had more NATURAL consequences for his actions that involve things that are actually meaningful to him.
For example, while this would never have happened for obvious narrative continuity reasons, I wish Padme had actually stuck to her guns about staying broken up/separated during the Clovis arc. I wish that his response to what happened with Clovis had frightened her enough to actually cause the relationship to end because she doesn't honestly know when he'll turn that anger on her.
In an AU version of events, I feel like the Jedi learning about the Tusken massacre might've caused more natural consequences in the sense that the Jedi would suddenly see Anakin VERY differently and lose a lot of that faith they're choosing to have in him by this point because holy shit that is a MASSIVE loss of control that DOES require more of a response than a slap on the wrist. Like they wouldn't necessarily punish him, but they might remove him from the front lines, they might remove Ahsoka as his Padawan (even if it's just temporarily), they might insist that he go to some sort of meditative retreat and see some mind healers until they can be sure that he's stable enough to take up certain duties again. I imagine Ahsoka's view of him might change pretty drastically if she learned about that, especially with how young she is at the time, and maybe she chooses never to return to his tutelage even if she ultimately does forgive him.
And of course none of this even touches how I feel about consequences for his choices from Order 66 and beyond. People more sympathetic to him would probably say that losing three limbs and being forced into the Vader suit and "losing Padme" are all natural consequences and that these are all "enough" for what he's done. But I just... can't agree. But he also manages to get his son's unconditional love and forgiveness. He manages to get OBI-WAN AND YODA'S unconditional love and forgiveness. He manages to be considered SO REDEEMED that he becomes a Force Ghost and CHEATS DEATH just so he can... what? Say goodbye to Luke for a second time or something? As a reward for doing the BARE MINIMUM of being a decent person and just not letting his son get murdered in front of him? Cool, great, give him the "not as big of a jerk as he could've been" award. He manages to get Ahsoka's love and forgiveness for everything he's done as per the Ahsoka show, and even gets almost completely exonerated for his choices by having them get brushed off as "meant to be" or whatever. Rex never seems to get told the truth about him as of current canon so Anakin gets to live with the nice knowledge that Rex presumably died thinking he was a hero.
So, sure, he gets a few consequences for his choices, but he ends up getting nearly everything he wants in the end. The loss of the Jedi doesn't actually matter to him, the loss of the Republic DEFINITELY doesn't matter to him, he can deal with pain, he's still ridiculously powerful, and while he lost Padme he gets Luke. The consequences he gets are almost all entirely meaningless, and he gets more rewards that DO mean something to him for the absolute bare minimum than he gets real consequences for the absolutely horrific atrocities he commits.
This is why I love the Kenobi show so much because that show gave me THREE WHOLE PEOPLE who chose to leave him behind. Reva, obviously, hates him and never actually forgives him for what he's done even though she ultimately has to let go of her anger so she doesn't become him. Leia obviously never meets Anakin and isn't letting go of him because she doesn't want to associate herself with someone like him, but she DOES go through an entire arc where she decides that the only parents she needs are the Organas, and even when Obi-Wan tells her what gifts she's inherited from Anakin and Padme, she clearly intentionally chooses to associate ALL OF THOSE THINGS with Bail and Breha instead because THEY'RE the parents SHE chose. And of course, then there's Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan who feels so guilty still for what Anakin's become and the part he played in it and who tries to apologize for the things he does and doesn't know about, but who ultimately realizes that he never failed Anakin, Anakin failed HIM, and the best thing Obi-Wan can do is walk away and leave Anakin behind for good. Anakin made his choices and nothing Obi-Wan can do will keep him from CONTINUING to make those choices now, so it's better to focus on the people he CAN help and leave Anakin to wallow in his own darkness. There is no forgiveness for Anakin in this show, not once. Obi-Wan's reaction isn't "there's good in him still" but "what good might still be there isn't something he's acting on so it doesn't really matter anymore."
And, if we believe that this was a real confrontation that happened, means that Anakin finally got a REAL FUCKING CONSEQUENCE in that show. He spends the ENTIRE SHOW hunting for Obi-Wan and obsessing over Obi-Wan and in the end, not only does he lose to Obi-Wan AGAIN, not only does Obi-Wan NOT get broken down into darkness, but Obi-Wan WALKS AWAY FROM HIM. Again. And this time it's not because Anakin is dying but because Obi-Wan is deciding that Anakin NO LONGER MATTERS TO HIM. Obi-Wan cannot forgive the person Anakin has chosen to become. Obi-Wan isn't going to waste his time and effort on Anakin anymore, he isn't going to waste his LIFE feeling guilty for the choices ANAKIN MADE anymore. He's cutting Anakin out of his life from now on and just... leaving him behind. And of course at the end, Palpatine tells him he's not allowed to hunt for Obi-Wan anymore at all. So Anakin ultimately gets NOTHING THAT HE WANTS in this story, the one thing that seems to mean something to him gets ripped away from him in more than one way, and I LOVE THAT.
I just wish we GOT more of those kinds of stories outside of this one show. Because I get people letting things slide during the clone wars era, most of his mistakes there are comparatively smaller, but uh. Genocide and mass enslavement aren't things that I think ANYONE should let slide and too many people are doing so in canon at this point, which is why I want more stories about the people who DON'T or CAN'T forgive him for what he's done. More Revas, please.
#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#kenobi show#pro jedi#jedi#anti anakin#anti anakin skywalker#anakin critical#anakin skywalker critical#padme critical#padme amidala critical#anidala critical
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Force, I am SO frustrated with the Filonification of popular Star Wars. People keep on trying to make arguments about Star Wars, yet they refuse to actually watch Star Wars and make sensible criticisms about it because they’re literally just parroting whatever weird non-canonical shit Felony spit out in an article last week.
I was looking at this article:
And I was legitimately trying to look at the criticisms and see if I can agree with any of them, but they don’t make any sense and I can just feel Filoni oozing off them.
So imma rant, got it?
Mistake Number 1 that led to the fall of the order: They were too much into politics.
More specifically, the article claims that “they very much had a hand in the flipping the Senate” with reference to the Vote of No Confidence for Valorum in tpm, but it’s been a minute and a half since I saw the prequels, so I read the Wookie summary, and I might’ve missed something but I don’t think there’s any mention of them, like, voting or doing anything significant in the Senate in ep1? I feel like it would’ve been mentioned if it was even vaguely implied that the Jedi mind tricked the senate or lobbied for the vote to go one way or another, but it isn’t mentioned anywhere and it don’t square with what I remember, so I’m guessing they just made this up and convinced themselves it was canon? Tell me if you can figure out what they’re talking about or if there is a canon basis I missed.
Other than that, I do not remember a single scene where we saw the Jedi do anything more political than take orders from politicians or exist in the senate building in the prequels.
Mistake Number 2 that led to the fall of the order: Suppressing Baby Murderer’s emotions.
…A Take, certainly. So this one’s talking about Anakin’s grief over his mother’s death, which I agree would be a fucked-up thing to suppress. That’d suck. If it actually happened because… the Jedi do not know that Anakin’s mom is dead. They do not know that Anakin and Padmé went to Tatooine, since they were ordered to stay on Naboo. They are utterly unaware of everything that happens on Tatooine aside from Yoda feeling the Tusken Massacre in the Force. Yeah, Anakin told Obi-Wan that he’d had dreams about his mom dying, and he didn’t do anything about it, but that wasn’t Obi Wan suppressing Anakin’s emotions—that was just him saying that it sucked that he had a bad dream, since I don’t think Anakin said it could’ve been a vision or anything, so this one doesn’t land at all. Where did they get this idea???
Mistake Number 3 that led to the fall of the order: ‘Allowing’ Maul to take over Mandalore (somehow?)
I can feel my brain cells dying. Maul joined up with a terrorist group and some crime gangs to forcefully take over a neutral system. None of that was ‘allowed’ by the Jedi. They also say that the Jedi ‘sent’ Obi Wan to get rid of Maul when I remember Yoda telling Obi Wan some shit like “Send anyone to Mandalore the Jedi cannot” and then Obi Wan went to Mandalore anyway and it didn’t do shit. Anyway I feel like the author of this article might own a ridiculously annoying cowboy hat. Just a hunch.
Mistake Number 4 that led to the fall of the order: Baselessly Exiling Ahsoka (Baselessly?? There very much was base)
So. Wrong Jedi Arc my beloathed. Here we are again. The article claims that the Jedi “exiled Ahsoka Tano on mere suspicion alone and didn't even confirm whether she was involved in the bombing of the Jedi Temple or not”. Which. Hmm. So, there was a big investigation into the bombing that pretty definitely said that Ahsoka was almost certainly the bomber. It wasn’t ‘mere suspicion’, it was all the fucking evidence very clearly pointing to her. She ran away, she worked with a damn separatist assassin, she was found in a warehouse filled with the bombs. The audience know she was framed, but the characters don’t because the whole point of framing someone is to convince the other people they did it. If the Jedi had exiled her for this, they would’ve been being very reasonable and justified. Will also point out that the Jedi were forced by the Senate to exile her and did not want to. They apologized and let her back in as soon as they possibly could.
Also there’s this weird (actually!) baseless claim that Ahsoka was one of the most powerful Jedi in the Clone Wars. Which has no proof because it’s untrue—she’s a padawan with max 2 years of training. There’s no way she’s more powerful than a fully trained knight, of which there were still quite a few. But of course she is, because she’s Felony’s beloved OC who can do no wrong.
Mistake Number 5 that led to the fall of the order: Not giving Baby Murderer power
I am convinced that no one involved in writing or editing this article has actually watched RotS, and has only ever listened to Felony talk about RotS. They claim that ‘they invited Anakin over to the Council as a pseudo-member and his only task was to spy on the Chancellor. Not only was this political meddling once again, but it was also an insult to Anakin’ oh no, they insulted Anakin, clearly this means he’s justified in murdering them! Also, the Jedi Council apparently wanted to appoint Anakin, they weren’t literally forced into it by Palpatine. You know, that scene where Palpatine is like “yeah, I’ve forced the council to put you on the council even though they don’t want you there. You’re my spy on the council now” that didn’t happen actually. The Jedi were completely evil in not allowing the unstable baby murderer a full seat on their governing body when they were forced to put him there through nepotism. Them asking the only guy who’s close enough with the chancellor to investigate him because he’s overstayed his term and is overreaching with his powers is also completely evil and awful and unjustified. Uh huh.
Mistake Number 6 that led to the fall of the order: Mace Windu Wants To Kill Palpatine Right Away (direct quote from the article)
Yeah, you read that right. I can’t make this shit up, but filoni sure as fuck can. So, Mace Windu learns that the shady Chancellor that’s been overreaching with his authority and has overstated his term is also an evil Sith that has manipulated both sides of the war to gain power, causing the deaths of millions, including a shit ton of Mace’s people and friends, because said chancellor drafted them to fight in the war that he created. This would make Mace pretty damn justified in killing Palpy imo, but Mace specifically goes to arrest him for his crimes. Palpatine then kills three other Jedi Masters in cold blood and attempts to kill Mace, and when Mace beats him he still tries to arrest him—y’know that whole “You are under arrest, my lord” bit?—until the guy tries to fucking electrocute him with his fucking hands and it becomes clear that there is no way to take him in peacefully. Only after palpatine murders 3 people in front of him, attempts to murder Mace in combat, and makes it clear that he cannot be taken in alive does Mace attempt to kill him. No matter how you slice it, that’s not him wanting to kill the bitch right away.
Also the article tries to say that Anakin wanted to bring Palpatine in because he recognized that he should stand trial, which is technically what he says, but he also screams “I need him!” in that same scene so I think we know why he really doesn’t want Palpy to die.
Mistake Number 7 that led to the fall of the order: They didn’t train Luke and Leia
Now this might seem baffling because the article is supposedly talking about things that caused the fall of the order and Luke and Leia weren’t even born until after the fall of the order, but I can assure you that the article does not explain this in any way.
Still, let’s pretend this makes sense with the subject of the article and press on. The article asks what was stopping Obi Wan from training Luke as a Jedi on Tatooine. I feel like the answer might have something to do with the fact that the twins were so powerful that the Jedi were afraid that the emperor could sense them if they were next to each other. Formal training would make them stronger and more likely to be sensed, so they didn’t do it until they had to. This probably would be the most reasonable thing in here if the article wasn’t about what caused the fall of the order.
Mistake Number 8 that led to the fall of the order: Not telling Luke about Vader
Yet another Thing That Lead to the Fall of the Jedi Order that somehow happened after the fall of the order, but if I focus on that I might start screaming, so we move on.
This article leads you to believe that all the problems in ESB could’ve been solved if only Obi Wan had told Luke about Vader. Hmm. Yoda says in RoJ that Luke wasn’t ready for the information when he was told at the end of ESB, which seems very true based on the fact that Luke was unable to accept the information when told, was described by George Lucas as suicidal afterwards, and is suddenly unable to consider killing Mr. Evil Baby Murderer Space Fascist afterwards because of their family connection, and you want Obi-Wan to tell him earlier?
You know that OT Luke would, upon hearing that information before Cloud City, have immediately jumped in his X-Wing and raced to confront Vader. If he found Vader in that state, Luke would’ve been even more unbalanced and unfocused, which would’ve lead to him losing the duel worse and being either killed or captured by Vader, since Leia wouldn’t have been close enough to save him.
Mistake Number 9 that led to the fall of the order: Not believing people who had been dead for 1,000 years were back without proof
I want you to imagine a hypothetical with me: a guy that is somehow vaguely influential in politics walks up to the UN and tells them that Leif Eriksson and the Vikings are back and coming to kill everybody. This man has no proof beyond what he and a couple of people with him say , and there has been no indication of this at all before he shows up. I know in that scenario I’d want the UN to throw him out until he had proof.
That’s the modern day equivalent of Qui Gon telling the Jedi the Sith are back. He’s making a huge claim with no evidence. You can’t expect the Jedi to immediately believe him no questions asked. The instant there’s actual proof of this, we see the two most influential and powerful Jedi, Mace and Yoda, talking about how they need to look out for other Sith. They are taking the threat seriously, they just aren’t omniscient like the audience.
Mistake Number 10 that led to the fall of the order: When they were enemies of the state who would be killed if they didn’t hide, they hid
Truly, a horrible mistake. Now they’re mad at Obi Wan and Yoda for going into hiding, unlike other survivors of Order 66. Other survivors such as Kanan, Ahsoka, Cal, and Quinlan, perhaps. All of these characters went into hiding. Cal and Kanan were forced out of hiding, and Ahsoka helped with the early rebellion while remaining in hiding, but pretty much every order 66 survivor tried to go into hiding.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go cry.
#star wars#Obi Wan#Yoda#obi wan kenobi#Mace#Mace Windu#jedi#jedi order#jedi order positive#jedi positive#anti filony#luke skywalker
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5 6 7 10 for Star Wars violence 👀
OKAY TIME FOR THE VIOLENCE (I don't know how actually violent these opinions are but pretend I am Very Vicious)
5. Worst blorboficiation?
sdfsdifj REGRETTABLY... OBI-WAN.... I love the man but fandom characterizations definitely show some Popular Guy Character Syndrome where it's all about how sad and tormented he is and while I respect that as a lover of tormented men, it is certainly an experience when you're like, reading a CodyWan fic and Cody is comforting Obi-Wan through his tragic past like he's never gone through anything difficult in his life. Also some of Obi-Wan's fun edges are sanded off, he's more generically sassy but considerate of others feelings and kind, etc, and like. He's not UNkind. But this is a man that faked his death and did not tell his emotionally unstable best friend like that was going to do anything but drive Anakin absolutely batshit insane. He watched like ten clones in a row die without a reaction and then the instant a Jedi died they all had to stop for a funeral. He tried to get Luke to kill Vader WITHOUT telling him who he was. He's kind of an idiot and can be kind of an asshole. Let him hurt people's feelings! Let him be socially inept! He is a dipshit not a harmless weep blob!
(This ties in with my desire to see CodyWan fic where they straight up get in a fight but is not ENTIRELY connected to that)
6. Opinion on canon and/or fanon use of the secret child trope? Discuss.
It works for Luke and Leia and I think it should have stayed at that. I'm not a big fan of the Palpatine reveal for Rey but I didn't want her to be a Skywalker either, sometimes you want a main that is Just Some Guy, doesn't need to be a secret child of anyone. In fanon I just REALLY do not like it, partially because it's plugging in a blood relation where it doesn't need to be. The other part is that I have mostly seen it for Obi-Wan and Satine with that Korkie kid and with how utterly repressed those two are at each other I refuse to believe they ever successfully fucked.
7. What is the weakest piece of canon writing?
It feels like cheating to say the sequel trilogy mostly because I never finished it so a thing that I definitely finished and loved but makes no sense - AOC is not the strongest movie but ROTS was like, fully just a series of cool scenes stitched together to approximate a movie. And don't get me wrong, I adore the prequels. But the only one that I think succeeds as a Movie is TPM. ANAKIN'S FALL ESPECIALLY IS NONSENSICAL AS SHIT. Like the underlying motivations are there but they were not pieced into anything resembling a coherent narrative. You have a start point, an end point, and everything in between just kind of jumps around with I think the weakest point being the Tusken Massacre - it's treated more like a sign of Anakin's potential darkness than anything when like. That's a whole village. He killed a whole village and it never comes up again! Lucas apparently didn't consider it that big a deal!
It's to a point where I actually think the massacre can't be addressed from a fully in universe perspective, because there's no actual way to twist it around so that it makes sense for that not to be enough to Make Anakin Fall without breaking the already very loose rules of the universe. Most other Star Wars points I can figure out some kind of justification for how it works in world, but to explain how Anakin wouldn't fall here you just have to kind of confront that Lucas is both not a very good writer and also approached the Tuskens with an incredibly racist viewpoint given that he doesn't appear to see their deaths as fully Counting, unlike the Jedi younglings in ROTS. It's a plot choice that, if treated with the full weight it would narratively deserve, completely unravels the entire rest of the series, the only way to make the storyline of everything else WORK is to take it out or change it so much as to be an entirely different scenario, and I can't think of any other things that fuck it up THAT bad.
10. What’s a ship you've unwillingly come around to?
I think 'unwillingly' is overstating it (but then I rarely DISLIKE a ship, so there's usually not much Unwillingly about it) but I thought Tech/Phee was cute at most until everyone started being Like That about them. Now I want them to kiss and get married onscreen. I hope that she hits that every night. Phee deserves whatever she wants.
Also Anakin/Padme probably counts because I did not actually go into the clone wars watch WANTING to love Anakin but Whoops. WHOOPS. So that meant I got An Affection for the two of them in all their messy stupid as shit glory.
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Hey just wanna say i (as an individual who ships obikin) thank u for putting encouraging words about obikin even if u see them as besties. It’s really discouraging to see so many other shippers sh*tting on obikin people just for shipping obiwan and anakin. Yes ik it’s a controversial ship if u look at it closely but i just do it for fun (and love the chemistry between them). I dont shit on other ships (unless it’s really REALLY problematic) and like cant they just leave us alone in peace?? Same with reylo like yes it’s another controversial ship but again if u dont think and/or look too hard then just have fun with it.
I dont mind codywan im not a huge fan but i see why they ship it, just aint feeling it like obikin does. Same for the rest of other ships (except for dinluke i will die for it as well)
Sorry for the ramble (^^;) long story short that campaign speech u put for the silly ship poll was well put!
Hi anon, I am incredibly glad to hear that I could reassure you after all the mean things that antishippers have been saying about your ship. Ship and let ship is a crucial rule in this house of mine, in which Obikin and Codywan are both very welcome. :D
However, I do invite you to examine some of your own beliefs about this subject. Specifically, I'm curious what compelled you to say "I don't shit on other ships (unless it's really REALLY problematic)." While that's the part that most stood out to me, there is other concerning verbiage in your ask (i.e. the frequent use of the word "controversial" and "if u don't think and/or look too hard" which both felt like similar apologetic statements you use when shipping something you feel others will judge you for).
First, I want to highlight what you said about why you ship Obikin — "i just do it for fun (and love the chemistry between them)." To me, that communicates that you don't see any harm in someone enjoying a ship purely because it is appealing to them. Additionally, you say, "can't they just leave us alone in peace??" which suggests frustration that other people don't share your opinion.
Is it possible that the "really REALLY problematic" ships are enjoyed by people for reasons similar to yours? Is it possible that they, too, would like others to leave them alone and let them enjoy a harmless hobby in peace? What makes it acceptable to shit on their ships and not yours? Who gets to decide which ship is an Obikin-level ship and which is a "really REALLY problematic" ship? You? Me? Can you be certain that our definitions agree?
The first thing you should consider is what makes you feel like a ship is "really REALLY problematic." I think you'll find that most of it is a Squick factor — a gross-level factor. Maybe Obikin is "hot" to you, but it does gross other people out. Similarly, perhaps some ships, especially ones with components that might not make much sense in real life, are "hot" to others but gross you out.
For example, I'd like you to picture Chancellor Palpatine kissing AOTC Anakin on the mouth. Make sure your imagination includes Anakin's young boyish features and his barely-legal Padawan braid. 😉 Now imagine them having sex. In case you're having a hard time picturing this, here's some pictures of them to help you out! 😊
If you're like most people I know, I bet you're super grossed out right now. You might even consider Palpakin to be much more problematic than Obikin. But I chose Palpakin as a comparison for a reason! Because, when it comes down to it, how are these two ships any different in scale? Anakin views both Obi-Wan and Palpatine as a father figure. Both have mentored Anakin since he was 9 years old. There is a significant age gap and power imbalance in both ships. I've even read both Obikin and Palpakin fics that feature sexual activities with Anakin while he's still a minor.
It seems the only difference is that one tends to gross out the average person more than the other. Is being grossed out a reason to shit on someone's harmless hobby? For example, I'm extremely grossed out by sushi. Is that a reason to ban sushi worldwide? Obikin might gross me out, but I don't come after you or your fellow shippers. Palpakin might gross you out, but that's not an excuse to come after me. And maybe other ships gross both of us out, but I will not join you in going after them.
In other words, ALL fandommers, as you so aptly put, "just want to be left alone" and "enjoy the chemistry" of their ship without "thinking about it too hard." So until you agree that NO ship is problematic, you are inviting the same criticism upon ships that YOU like. Because anti-shippers aren't just coming for the "really REALLY problematic" ships; they're coming for every single one of them.
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Not to compare apples to oranges or whatever in regards to fictional characters' trauma, but Anakin wouldn't have been able to handle even 1/4 of what Obi-Wan went through.
Look, I’m an Anakin stan myself. He’s not my number one blorbo, but I do adore him and purely for the fact that he’s a goddamn fucking mess. But I can’t help but feel like some of the more extreme Anakin stans keep missing the point of the prequels/Clone Wars as a whole. That being: Darth Vader could not exist without Anakin.
I only bring up Obi-Wan because a lot of the takes I’ve seen from people trying to defend Anakin from any speck of criticism tends to almost always revolve around his trauma/shitty life experience. And, like ... he’s not unique in that aspect. If anything, Obi-Wan shares a very sad, almost mirror-like amount of experiences with him.
For example:
-Obi-Wan was a slave. A lot of characters in the Star Wars universe were slaves.
Anakin was a slave!
((Update to the above: someone asked for clarification on this point, and I made a lengthy response in my reply/reblog. If my reply is too difficult to find down the road, I can add that bit here. Otherwise, the short version of the above isn't that Obi-wan's trauma is more valid than Anakin's. Just that 1) Anakin being a slave is not unique in the world of Star Wars and 2) Obi-wan and Anakin do share similar traumas but react very differently to said traumas)).
-Obi-Wan’s father figure (Qui-Gon) died in his arms.
Anakin’s mother died in his arms!
-Obi-Wan lost the love of his life. Who also died in his arms. Who also, strangely enough, did not die because of anything he did.
Anakin lost the love of his life!
Anakin was criticized by the Jedi Order for his inability to let go of others!
-Obi-Wan was criticized by the Jedi Council and his peers for his attachments to Qui-Gon, Anakin, Ashoka, Quinlan, Satine, etc, etc. The Jedi did not condemn him (or Anakin) for forming these attachments. He learned to let go of those he loved when their time came, no matter what form that took, i.e. death or simply them choosing to take their own paths without him in their lives.
Anakin had anger issues that made it difficult for him to form proper relationships!
-Obi-Wan had horrendous anger issues. Qui-Gon initially refused to taken him on as a padawan specifically because he had a horrifc temper. He learned to control his anger so that it would no longer control him.
Anakin was being targeted and tempted by a Sith!
-Obi-Wan was directly targeted by multiple Sith at multiple instances throughout his life. They all at one point or another tried to force him into using the Dark Side (Maul, in particular), or tried to convince him to leave the Jedi Order and become a Sith (Count Dooku, mostly, but also Asajj). He didn’t.
Palpatine manipulated Anakin!
-Obi-Wan was also manipulated by Palpatine. Everyone in the fucking galaxy was manipulated by Palpatine. Anakin is not special.
I could go on and on and on. This is just a small list of one to one comparisons, but like ... this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the absolute amount of horrendous shit that Obi-Wan has gone through, even prior to Order 66. I’m not saying that Anakin’s trauma isn’t valid, nor am I trying to say that Obi-Wan is a better character than Anakin because of how much more he has gone through in comparison.
My point is this: At no point, did Obi-Wan give into the Dark Side or become a Sith. Despite the actual living hell that his life was, he never ever ever turned to the Dark Side. A lot of people like to say he came close when he faced off against Maul during the episode “Revival,” and I can definitely see where people are coming from. But he didn’t.
In the grand scheme of things, Anakin does not have a fucking excuse for becoming a Sith Lord. Not that he (or any other Sith for that matter) ever had a valid excuse to begin with. But holy fuck, my guy. If someone like Obi-Wan, who literally has not known a single day of peace, can still somehow manage to keep themselves from giving into the temptation of becoming the emobiement of all things evil, especially in response to great emotional pain ... like, my guy, there really is no fucking excuse.
#star wars#star wars meta#clone wars#prequel trilogy#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#not anti anakin#not anti jedi either#pro jedi#i just have some thoughts#i actually think george lucas and the clone wars team did a great job#of showing the differences#between obi wan and anakin#and especially in regards to how obi wan's choices#were by far the kinder and more mature ones#in comparison to anakin's purely selfish decisions#it's great storytelling#i promise i'll stop talking about anakin soon#i can't help that he's my problematic fave
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Fic Tag Game
Thanks for tagging me, @veloursdor!!! That is an interesting one! 😘
So, let's see...
How many works do you have on ao3?
9 at the moment, with one idea in a draft folder -- no idea, if and when I will post it.
2. What's your ao3 word count?
oh gosh, I need a calculator... 246.827, holy shit...
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Star Wars -- Obikin, definitely my OTP 😍😍😍 When I was younger, I wrote for Harry Potter (years ago!) and Sherlock
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
1 Heal with 590 kudos... definitely my most popular work so far. Thank again to everyone reading it and leving kudos/comments. I love you guys. Oh, in this story, Obi-Wan can't leave Anakin behind after their duel in Episode 6 of Kenobi and gets to helping him out of that suit!
2 Missing with 397 kudos in which Anakin got amnesia and flirty heavily with Obi-Wan after Rako Hardeen incident.
3 What you wish for with 334 kudos in which Obi-Wan touches a Sith holocron and develops some (for Anakin, sexy) Sith-qualities 😉
4 There is passion with 306 kudos, some sex-spice makes Obi-Wan hot for Ani...
5 Krayt's son with 253 kudos, in which Anakin is raised a Sith and meets Jedi Obi-Wan
5. Do you respond to comments?
yes, yes, I always do! I love your comments and the chats that sometimes come with them!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
My fics tend to have a happy ending... I want fluff and happy in my imagination. Life is shitty and hard enough some times...
7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?
Mh, all have a happy ending actually. But I think Building Dreams was really fluffy!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Just for one fic; There is passion. One person once bitched about it being Obikin, accusing it of being incest.
Luckily, nearly all other replies are very nice. I love you all fic readers and comment-writers! 😍😍😍
9. Do you write smut? What kind?
I do, not in all fics, though. It's Obikin smut. Mostly not too kinky, but I feel I should venture into that field more often...
10. Do you write cross-overs?
No.🤗
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I am aware of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Also no. I could translate them on my own, though, but English is more common among readers than my mother tongue.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Not with Star Wars. I've done that once, years ago with a Harry Potter fic.
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
Obikin 😍😍😍
15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Well, my longest WIP (and also oldest) is What you wish for, but I do hope I will finish it eventually!
16. What are your writing strength?
Oh, I don't know... maybe the readers could tell me, what they like the most? For me it's hard to find time to write, so whenever I am in the mood, I can write pretty much in one sitting, but often, it's hard and it takes hours to finish a page.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Write short sentences. I tend to make them too long and too complicated -- my mother tongue is to blame!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Oh, difficult question. It makes it hard to follow and I find it not very elegant to have translations in the notes below. I find it cool though, if you have one part of the dialogue in, say, Huttese, and the other part in basic (English). That way, you can guess the meaning. So, yeah, for Huttese or Mando'a, I like that for half a dialogue. I don't like it much, when I have to scroll down all the way to see translation to know what's going on.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Harry Potter -- many, many years ago
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Mh, I do love Heal, because I find it fascinating to explore Vader and the suit. But I also loved Tempestas -- in which Anakin (19) traveled back in time to meet Padawan Obi-Wan (25), lots of trouble!
21. What fic would you love to rewrite some day?
Thank you @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart for making up this great question and letting me use it, too ❤
Definetely There is Passion. I love the concept, the whole fic was born from the idea "if you ever had sex with a force sensitive, you simply cannot settle for any non sensitive person", which is really problematic for Ani to enjoy his time with Padmé after Obi... It was only my second fic and I got intimidated by criticism of it containing non-con elements. Now, I would be more confident with the whole topic and hope, I will come back to it some time and rewrite it.
Thank you so much for tagging me, I loved that!!!!
So, no idea: everyone who wants to do this and hasn't already, please be free. You are hereby tagged!
Aaaaaaaaand I am tagging people who liked this 😁 @grapenehifics @underacalicosky @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart @mischievouschan4
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I gotta say, one of my favorite anidala falling apart bc Anakin is openly (to everyone but himself and Obi-Wan, at least) realizing he’s in love with Obi-Wan tropes in fics that include that is when Anakin says some Not Platonic Bro shit and/or directly compares his relationship with both of them only for Padme to kind of have a record scratch moment of like you.. think it’s the same? 🤨
i LOVE this trope so much because i really really adore unreliable narrator anakin; not even in a 'omg he's dumb way' but in a 'this is from his perspective which is skewed and this is a biased account' way
so i love narrating from anakin's pov these objectively wild things like him thinking huh this questionnaire has a question tht sorta reminds me of my relationship with my wife thats so interesting i wonder what her answer would be haha NO silly angel not you and your relationship with my master the very idea makes me physically ill and capable of great crime. oh but how you feel for me is definitely similar to how i feel for him. we're not gonna address it though <3
and padmé just there beng like.
what.
#asks#couples counseling au#i just really like anakin who doesn't know a lot about love but he loves his master so much#but knowing he has to hide that platonic love so it being romantic love never even occurs to him??#but it is it is it is#if that makes sense
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Fic Tag Game
Thanks for the tag @dark--whisperings!
How many works do you have on ao3?
fifteen
2. What's your Ao3 word count?
400,883 (holy shit)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
right now switching between Star Wars and Good Omens
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Maybe Someday - 841 kudos, most of them thanks to @plumbum-art's wonderful comic Date Night, which "resurrected" this little fic of mine.
and then my four MCU (sambucky) fics:
Trouble Man - 841 kudos, too!
Pet Psychopath - 712 kudos
Partners, Accidentally - 561 kudos
Co-Workers with Benefits - 509 kudos
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes. Because if I write a comment, I like to hear from the author. It doesn't have to be much but it just makes me happy to hear that my comment made the author happy. And I think interaction is important to keep a fandom "alive" (even if often I don't know what to say but I try).
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't write angsty endings. But I'm a little worried that people won't agree with me that Match Made on Earth has a happy ending.
7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?
As I said, they all have happy endings, but the ending of Four Chord Songs and Sentimental Lyrics is particularly sappy. I was wondering if that love song in the last chapter was *too much*, but then I thought: nope, it's Anakin, *too much* is his personality trait.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
This year I got two very rude anon comments on one of my Obikin fics accusing me of horrible things. The accusations felt pretty generic and did not fit to that particular story at all, but they still left me a little shaken. Fortunately, the people in the Obikin discord were really kind about it and helped to cheer me up.
Back on FFNET I received the occasional "ew, they're not gay, why would you write that?" Also there were some people who were angry at the way I wrote Obi-Wan, saying things like "how can you say he's your favourite character and then characterise him as weak/flawed/incompetent... and make so many bad things happen to him?"
BUT, all in all, fandom has been a positive experience and the many good interactions far outweigh the odd rude comment.
9. Do you write smut? What kind?
Does one awkward sex scene per multi chapter fic count? (No.)
10. Do you write cross-overs?
No.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think so, not that I know of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, a long time ago on FFNET when I still wrote Harry Potter fic.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Yes.
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
I feel like Obikin is the "correct" answer because I always come back to them.
15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Step into Christmas with me. So far, I've managed to add two chapters every season. If I continue at that pace, I might finish it in two more years...
16. What are your writing strength?
Beginnings and endings.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
The long middle parts that always become too long and repetitive.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Okay, I have Opinions on this!
I don't like it and don't see the merits of it. It often just feels like the author wants to show off their language skills. But as a reader it takes me out of a story. I don't want to check footnotes or use google translate in the middle of reading.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Just for myself: Harry Potter. Posting online: Star Wars.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Servants of the Force is definitely not my best writing but it's still my favourite fic anyway because I've never put so much effort into a fic before and I'm proud that I finished it.
---
I'm not sure who has already done it. tagging (no pressure!): @underacalicosky, @demonghost, @somethingsteff, @ineffableobikin, @fulcrum843, @howlbrooklyn, @kingdomvel
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So I’ve been watching the wank about Deborah Chow referring to Obi-Wan and Anakin’s relationship as a “love story dynamic” through Episodes 1-6, and how she hopes to channel that in the series.
“For me, across the prequels, through the original trilogy, there’s a love-story dynamic with these two that goes through the whole thing,” Chow said in the interview with Vanity Fair. “I felt like it was quite hard to not [include] the person who left Kenobi in such anguish in the series… What’s special about that relationship is that they loved each other.”
Well, first things first.... calling Obi and Ani's dynamic a "love story" in an official interview is clearly intended as a non-sexual one. I would go further to say it's not romantic in our modern definition, but would likely fit into "Arthurian romance" with themes of adventure, courtly (chaste) love, and chivalry.
It's interesting to me how the anti-Disney rightwing are REALLY focusing on it as a “gross gay groomer” thing. Bigots and homophobes are using the very idea of Obi and Ani loving eachother as some proof that Disney is “encouraging grooming” and using it to fuel their current boycott.
Meanwhile... anti-shipper, pro-censorship, pro-harassment types are either claiming “people who ship Obikin don't understand Chow meant it to be familial! freaks are taking it wrong!" or they’re taking it literally as the rightwingers are and saying “this is disgusting, I can’t believe they’re making this gross shit canon”. They’re just as furious as the rightwingers, despite being ostensibly left and many of them being queer themselves.
However... it's OBVIOUS TO ME that what Chow said about the story is absolutely true, but it's about these men loving one another PURELY, CHASTELY, NOBLY.
There is actually no way that Chow intended it to mean a sexual romantic relationship. I firmly believe this simply fits along with the recent trend of marketing things as “bromance” or “unconventional love story” between stuff like buddy cop stories, to get clicks and sound like they’re skirting the edge of things, when all they’re doing is showing men loving eachother AS FRIENDS. Which is great as a CONCEPT. You should love your friends!
Is it fun to go "HAHA THE CREATORS SHIP IT! OBIKIN WINS. OBIKIN CANON"?
HECK YES. BECAUSE I SHIP IT! BECAUSE IT’S A GREAT DYNAMIC.
(my definition of “ship it” is “I simply enjoy thinking about their relationship, and the many permutations of it, specifically in a romantic/sexual way. I don’t particularly care if it becomes canon and I don’t want to pressure the studio to do it, and I also am not a tinhatter, as in I don’t think they wrote it intending to be that way. Well, Matthew Stover’s book is borderline... but I digress.)
Do I actually believe they're going to make them queer and IN LOVE with eachother? Of course not. Like, literally, they NEVER intend that. And I won’t be disappointed! I like the canon relationship AS IT IS! But watching people get bent out of shape and super homophobic and calling people names and attack others over this is wild.
It’s canon that Obi-Wan cares deeply for Anakin, and if you look at the movies 1-6 arc alone, it’s really evident that their relationship as it exists is VERY IMPORTANT for the entire Star Wars narrative. Obi-Wan ignores the warning signs of Anakin going darkside because he’s attached. He cares about Anakin. He’s BIASED, and he’s a Jedi and they’re supposed to be above attachment, above bias. Meanwhile, when Anakin is manipulated into thinking that Padme and Obi-Wan were having an affair or conspiring or keeping secrets or turning Padme against Anakin... Anakin is SO DEEPLY HURT by that because he trusts Obi-Wan. He loves Obi-Wan and he is sure Obi-Wan feels the same. The betrayal is so much worse because he trusted him, loved him.
The script and novels make it more overt, since we can’t see what’s inside a characters mind onscreen, but it’s still there.
Obi-Wan goes to Tatooine to watch over Luke, Anakin’s son. He does this out of love. Once again, it’s NOT SEXUAL LOVE. Not in the canon. But simply saying they love eachother isn’t sexual, and I’m sick of people getting hostile over it.
I’m very intrigued to watch the upcoming show, because making sure the canon love is expressed there as PART of the reasons for the anguish sounds like a REALLY COMPELLING story.
(I love that she said ANGUISH, I want these men to SUFFER)
#vaderwan#obikin#technically#but also not obikin at all#this is about their canon relationship#and why i love it#long post#star wars meta
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I love the No Palpatine AU! (Idk what else to call it) I kind of want to know how they would react to the canon universe and vice versa.
Everything is just so chill in the AU universe while it seems like everything has gone wrong in the canon universe. They would wonder what exactly makes this universe so different from theirs until someone brings up Palpatine and they are just like: "The senator who fell down the stairs???"
I wonder if being around an emotionally healthy Anakin would make canon Padme, Obi-Wan and Ahoska realise that canon Anakin is kinda messed up. Especially if they told him some of the things he's done and he's like: "um, no offense, but that's pretty fucked up"
Haha, I definitely hadn't considered the idea of my AU versions of characters meeting canon ones lol, this'll be a first for me.
So I'm assuming that we're working primarily with the first option for the No Palpatine AUs where TPM canon goes primarily the exact same way except Palpatine dies real quick before Padme can show up on Coruscant with Anakin in tow. With that in mind, I think the reactions you'll get to how different Anakin is will vary depending on when in the timeline they're meeting and who exactly is meeting each other.
Obi-Wan, for example, doesn't actually KNOW most of the worst shit Anakin's done. Like the worst stuff Obi-Wan knows Anakin's done has been to lose his temper a bit, be reckless sometimes, and not always follow orders. It's not THAT particularly heinous, and I imagine the AU Anakin still has a temper sometimes (most of the Jedi DO get angry sometimes, they just work at controlling it really well and most probably struggle with it more when they're younger anyway) and still has the tendency to be a bit reckless when he wants to be. His problems with authority and following orders have sort-of been transformed into a desire to take down EVIL authorities like the Hutts rather than a dislike of the Jedi Council. He gives his respect to authorities who have EARNED his respect.
But I think that Obi-Wan throughout most of canon up until Order 66 believes that Anakin might struggle with some stuff that a lot of young Jedi probably do struggle with, but that he will ultimately overcome it, too. He doesn't realize how DEEP that struggle really is, nor does he know some of the awful things Anakin's actually done or how far he's strayed from the Jedi way. So his comparison to the AU Anakin is probably going to come from that particular perspective if they're meeting pre-Order 66. He might see AU Anakin as more just like... what canon Anakin will ultimately one day be able to achieve. Perhaps the AU version got there faster because his world isn't at war or something, canon Anakin is dealing with a different situation, but he'll get there eventually, he's never let Obi-Wan down before after all.
If they're meeting AFTER Order 66, then yeah, I think he's going to have a lot of feelings about AU Anakin doing so well and isn't going to be particularly shocked that Palpatine never even MET Anakin and that he died very early. He's not going to need to realize canon Anakin is messed up though, that part's kind-of obvious already lol.
Ahsoka I think might land in a similar boat since her knowledge of Anakin is so limited. If we decide the TOTJ training is canon, then that little tidbit could get revealed and wow AU Anakin would have SO SO MUCH to say about THAT. AU Anakin might have something to say about Ahsoka being like "most people would be shocked to realize how kind he was" too lol. Like he hopes he NEVER gets to a point where people are legitimately shocked that he's KIND. If Ahsoka gets the chance to just spend some time with AU Anakin without canon Anakin around, she might come to a few realizations of her own, but I think she'd also feel really guilty about making the comparison and potentially finding canon Anakin wanting, so she might not say or do anything about it.
Padme meeting an emotionally healthy Anakin could be a VERY interesting one because out of the three people Anakin has the closest relationships with, Padme's the one who knows how far he's fallen and has convinced herself that it's fine and no big deal. What might be equally as interesting is AU Anakin looking at canon Padme and just being SO concerned for her because she's got glimmers of the Padme he knows (whether they're in a relationship or decided they worked better as close friends, both work) but she's... fragile. Shattered and badly melded back together in a way his Padme isn't. This Padme is so lonely and so unhappy in ways she won't even recognize and hearing Padme excuse canon Anakin's treatment of her, realizing that Padme broke her own vows in order to enter into a forbidden marriage with someone who doesn't even seem to respect her much just breaks his fucking heart. This isn't his Padme, this Padme was broken long before she got married to canon Anakin, and the toxic relationship she's now in is just a symptom of that.
I'm not sure Padme would really come to any realizations of her own given that canon Padme literally hears Anakin advocate for dictatorship and fascism and decides to pretend that it was just a joke because it's easier to deal with. I think she'd find a way to explain away AU Anakin's differences in a similar way, despite the fact that she, more than anybody, should be able to really feel the difference between her Anakin and this healthier one. If she DID come to any realizations about Anakin, I think she'd convince herself that she didn't, that she was mistaken.
And of course, there's always the question of what happens when Anakin meets Anakin. I'd like to say that AU Anakin just kicks canon Anakin's ass, but he's supposed to be emotionally healthy, so he doesn't. He recognizes how canon Anakin got to where he is, he can tell exactly which issues of his have gone rancid and twisted in Anakin to make him the kind of person he is. AU Anakin would so desperately want to help canon Anakin as someone who can really understand exactly what's making Anakin tick. If he can manage to figure out that Palpatine is the issue and bring that information to the Jedi, that could potentially help, depending on when in the timeline this is happening. AU Anakin might be able to get away with taking out Palpatine in a way the other Jedi can't if they can pull off some kind of deception. AU Anakin managing to fulfill the prophecy instead of canon Anakin is actually incredibly hilarious to me. Like the Force chose Anakin, but then realized that this particular one was just going absolutely sideways and so dicked around and brought in an AU Anakin that actually went well but never had a Sith Lord to eliminate of his own.
I could probably go on and on here about like... an AU Ahsoka meeting canon Ahsoka at different points in her life or an AU Padme meeting canon Padme, or how AU Padme reacts to canon Anakin and stuff like that, but this post has gotten long as it is, so feel free to send another ask if you want me to just keep going like this lol.
#star wars#palpatine dies opt 1 au#anakin skywalker#obi-wan kenobi#padme amidala#ahsoka tano#anakin critical#anakin skywalker critical#padme critical#padme amidala critical#ahsoka critical#ahsoka tano critical#anidala critical
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Learning You — Part Two
Obi-Wan Kenobi x f!reader
Tags smut, fluff, christmas, alcohol consumption (still no intoxicated sex), piv sex, sucking of fingers in a sexual context ? soft dom obi-wan, awful christmas cracker jokes, modern au, no y/n
Word count 6.9k
chapter one » ao3
When you wake later on, you’re no longer confused by the pair of arms holding you in close, nor the legs somewhat entangled with yours. You look over at the clock on the wall, noticing that it’s eleven o’clock and you should definitely be up by now. “Obi-Wan?” you say quietly, and smile at the soft groan of acknowledgement from behind you. “It’s eleven.”
“Shit,” Obi-Wan says, voice rough from sleep once more. “Maybe we should get up.”
“Maybe.” You move to extricate yourself from his arms, sitting up. Your shirt is still on the edge of the bed, thankfully, so you put that on, and go to your bag to find what you packed to wear for the day. When you turn back, Obi-Wan is still sitting in bed, looking at you like he wants to say something. “Are you good?” you ask.
He nods. “Yes. I’m just- how do we go about this? I’m still happy to carry on with this if you are, but this isn’t necessarily the most private place to figure out a possible relationship. What do we tell people?”
“I’m definitely happy to carry on with this. And… I don’t know. How about we don’t go around saying anything just yet, but we don’t deny it either?”
“That works for me,” Obi-Wan says. “If someone asks, maybe we should just be honest. Say that we aren’t entirely sure where things are going to go right now, but we’re figuring it out. Together.”
You smile. “Great. Oh- please could I have a shower before we go downstairs?”
“Of course.” Obi-Wan quirks an eyebrow. “Please can I join you?”
After the most kiss-filled shower you’ve ever taken, you and Obi-Wan get dressed and head downstairs. Everyone’s there apart from Anakin and Padmé, which doesn’t surprise you — Padmé used to be an early riser, but Anakin most definitely is not, and she’s told you that he refuses to let her get out of bed (and his arms) until absolutely necessary. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan share some unreadable look which somewhat confuses you, but aside from that nobody says anything beyond a greeting. You suppose that there’s nothing inherently suspicious about coming downstairs together, given you were sleeping in the same bed.
Obi-Wan checks if anyone hasn’t had breakfast yet, and upon learning that everyone has eaten, both you and Obi-Wan go to the kitchen to get some food.
“Hey, at least nobody immediately guessed that anything happened,” you say, keeping your voice down.
Obi-Wan laughs. “I would be rather impressed if they took one look at us and immediately accused us of sleeping together.”
“You never know. What was that weird look with your dad, anyway?” you ask, and put two slices of bread in the toaster.
“Well. Upon admission, Dad might have been able to guess.”
“Why?”
Obi-Wan flushes slightly. “I think he gathered my feelings for you at one point, and asked me about it, and I do tell him a lot of things, so… He has always been oddly perceptive of things as well, so it wouldn’t entirely surprise me if he was able to guess.”
“Interesting.” You smile. “I think it’s sweet you told your dad about it,” you add, going to give him a quick kiss. He reaches into the cupboard to pull out his cereal, and after putting it onto the side pulls you into his arms, kissing you properly. It’s nice to kiss him in a setting away from the bedroom, and you melt a little into his embrace. “There’s also something mildly fun about keeping this a secret.”
Obi-Wan grins. “I agree. As long as it’s not a secret forever.”
“Of course not. It would be cruel to expect that of one another.”
The toast is ready then, and you prepare it in a comfortable silence before going back into the living room with Obi-Wan. It’s quite full again, but instead of cramming onto the sofa, you and Obi-Wan steal a cushion each and sit down on the floor to eat. It isn’t long before Anakin and Padmé come downstairs, Padmé seeming much more awake than Anakin, saying their hellos before going back into the kitchen to make some food. Privately, you wonder whether they’ll be doing the same thing you and Obi-Wan did in the kitchen, but you don’t hear anything in particular.
Once they come back through with some food, Obi-Wan says that he was planning on having a relatively chill day, just with a walk to the park. You’re thankful that you brought your thicker coat with you, given the snow that you can see falling outside the window.
It’s a relatively short walk to the park, even with the extra time needed given the size of your group. You don’t think you’ve ever been here before; though you, Anakin and Obi-Wan all live in Coruscant, Obi-Wan is in a completely different area, and it definitely feels that way. Though not exactly suburban, Obi-Wan’s local area seems quite quiet, and there aren’t many other people in the park alongside you.
Obi-Wan leads everyone to a small cafe situated in the corner of the park, and you all go inside to order a drink. You put your card on the reader before Obi-Wan can when he orders his tea, and just smile at him when he looks at you in mild confusion.
“Consider it a thanks for letting us stay. And an apology for stealing so much of your wine last night.”
He grins. “That’s very kind. Thank you, sweetheart.” You really want to kiss him then, but suppose it wouldn’t exactly be the best for your romance-free cover if you did so, what with everyone else in the queue behind you. They don’t seem to notice your purchasing of his drink, nor the use of the pet name, seemingly all caught up in their own conversations.
Once your drinks are both ready, you go to sit down outside, making sure everyone has a seat while they wait for their own drinks. You look over at the lake, slightly frozen over in the cold, and smile. “This park is really nice. Do you come here often?”
“When I can. When I remember how nice it is,” Obi-Wan admits. “Not as much as I might like. Typically all I have time for is a quick drink at the café after school, provided I don’t have too much work to do. These tables aren’t exactly great for marking.”
You laugh. “Maybe not. How’s the drink?”
“Good. Even nicer with someone else paying for it.”
“Funny how that works out.”
Obi-Wan looks like he’s about to say something else, but you’re joined by Dooku at that point. “I hear we’re getting a takeaway tonight,” the older man says.
“That’s the plan. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure it’s somewhere good.”
Dooku hums. “I’ll trust you with the decision, yes. I’m looking forward to it; it’s so hard to get a good takeaway back home. They’re all too far.”
“Yes, how difficult, living in your nice rural mansion,” Obi-Wan grins.
Dooku’s expression mirrors his grandson’s. “You mock, but I don’t see you rejecting my offers of a visit, do I?”
“Never. Your company is too much of a joy, Grandfather.”
Before Dooku can respond, Shmi pulls up a chair and joins you at the table. It’s beginning to get slightly cramped now, and you and Obi-Wan have to be in close proximity again, just as you’ve been forced to this whole trip.
Having heard the comment, Shmi laughs. “Not as much of a joy as your dear aunt’s company, I hope? I’m going to squeeze in here, the couples can get their own table.”
“The couples and Dad,” Obi-Wan says with a grin, and the two of you share a look.
“He can mediate,” you say. “Goodness knows Anakin needs a babysitter.”
“Amen to that. I spent eighteen years doing that, it’s someone else’s turn.”
“You can’t say that when I spent half my weekends babysitting him.”
“Oh please, you were grateful for the money. And what else would you rather be doing? Your job nowadays is essentially glorified babysitting.”
Obi-Wan bristles, but doesn’t seem offended. “As is yours, Mrs Senior Care Worker!”
Shmi rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “You’ve got me there.”
Anakin and Padmé walk past to get to their own table at that point, Anakin’s drink in hand and his eyes narrowed. “I’ll have you know I have excellent hearing. I do not need babysitting.”
“That’s right,” Padmé says, placing a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “He has me nowadays.”
After everyone’s had the chance to enjoy their drinks and finish their conversations, it’s relatively late in the afternoon, and you all walk back to Obi-Wan’s. Then comes the difficult decision of figuring out what exactly to order for dinner — a total of three different places wind up being ordered from, just to make sure that everyone is happy with their food. This leads to a slightly staggered meal schedule, and your food winds up arriving last.
Thankfully, you aren’t starving; you’d stolen a few of Obi-Wan’s chips, as his fish and chips was the first to arrive. You return the favour by allowing him to have a bit of your naan, another thing that gets Anakin to narrow his eyes.
“You know how I’m your best friend, and there’s nobody you’d rather give some of your naan to?” he says, going for a charming smile that you’re immune to by now.
“Give me a slice of your pizza and I’ll consider it.”
Anakin sighs, handing you the slice. You eat it with relish, before pretending to think for a few seconds. “Hmm… upon consideration. Nope.”
“Fuck you,” he says as he takes the cushion he’s sitting on from the sofa. “Choke,” he adds, throwing it at you.
“Hey, not my new cushion!” Obi-Wan says, cleanly catching it in midair before it can hit you in the face and get you to spill the curry that’s perched in your lap. “I’m going to come to your house and start throwing computer parts around.”
“Because those two things are completely comparable,” Anakin says. “And I thought the babies were going to be what wrecked our house.”
“Just an overgrown baby,” you grin. “Even more dangerous.”
Obi-Wan seems to decide that hitting people with cushions is acceptable as long as they’re not being thrown, and bats you in the face with the one he’s still holding.
“See? How childish.”
Obi-Wan just sighs, and bats you again. You smile as you finish off your curry, and Obi-Wan takes the empty container from you, and goes to put it away with his own in the kitchen. When he returns, he pulls out another bottle of wine, pouring out glasses, again with an alcohol-free version for Padmé.
As the evening goes on, the comfortable atmosphere continues, and even though you’re both sitting on the floor so technically have the most space, you and Obi-Wan wind up very close to each other once again.
At one point, the topic of what you’ve actually been doing in the run-up to Christmas is brought up. “I actually help with the choir at school,” Obi-Wan explains. “So I’ve done a decent amount of carol singing this year. The service is always great fun.”
“That sounds wonderful,” you say. “As long as you can actually sing, of course.”
Obi-Wan laughs. “Oh, I couldn’t say. You probably wouldn’t be able to hear me above the sopranos, though.”
“The real question, though,” Barriss cuts in, “is which Christmas carol is the best.”
“Silent Night, definitely,” Shmi says.
Anakin snorts. “That’s basic. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen is much better.”
“That is such a man answer,” you laugh. “The correct answer is Hark the Herald. Anything else is wrong.”
Obi-Wan inclines his head. “I’ll agree with you there. But have you considered ‘Unto us is Born a Son’ as a close second?”
You roll your eyes. “Extremely private school of you. But fine. I’d half expected you to say Gaudete or something.”
Ahsoka begins to say something about O Come All Ye Faithful, but you decide to drown her false claim out by loudly singing the first line to Hark the Herald. To your mild surprise, Dooku is the first to join you — probably an effect of the large amount of wine he’s consumed tonight — but Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon join soon after, and by the end of the first verse everyone is singing.
When it’s time to do so, you sing a very dramatic (and very bad) descant, and by the end of the carol it’s getting quite hard to stop yourself from laughing. You’re beaming though, and when Qui-Gon smoothly transitions into O Come All Ye Faithful, you happily sing along to that, too.
In the end, you all steadily make your way through all the carols you can think of, and even a pop song or two, before Obi-Wan stops everyone.
“Now, I’m very sorry to break this all up — you really would rival the school choir — but it’s half past eleven. We all need to be in bed before midnight, don’t we?”
Anakin dramatically groans. “Spoilsport. Fine.”
You help Obi-Wan gather up the glasses and clean them in the kitchen while everyone else goes to their rooms; you wash them, and he dries them and puts them back in the right place. He’s humming one of the hymns under his breath as he does so, and you smile.
“Today’s been nice.”
“It has,” Obi-Wan agrees. “No more discoveries either, seemingly.”
You shrug. “I’m not sure about that, in all fairness. I think Anakin might suspect something. He hasn’t said anything, though, which makes me hopeful.”
“If anyone was going to say something, it would be Anakin,” Obi-Wan says.
“Exactly. I think this is all the glasses, by the way.”
“Great.” Obi-Wan empties the sink, and hands you the towel so you can dry your hands. You both double check to make sure everything’s clean, before heading upstairs. It doesn’t take long to get ready for bed, and soon you and Obi-Wan are tucked under the covers together.
You smile at him. “At least tonight I can sleep in your arms from the start…” you pause. “Was that a bit cheesy?”
Obi-Wan laughs and kisses you, tasting slightly of toothpaste. “Don’t worry. It worked,” he says, bringing you into his arms. Once you settle, your back is pressed against his chest, a hand resting at your waist and one of his legs over yours, and you fall asleep quite quickly with how at ease you feel.
Without the early-morning interlude, you and Obi-Wan wake up much earlier the next day. You wake up to the feel of him shifting behind you, turn to face him, and smile. “Happy Christmas,” you mumble.
“Happy Christmas, sweetheart,” he says, before sitting up and stretching. “How are you?”
“Good. Ready for the festivities,” you grin. “How are you?”
“Also very ready for the festivities. And a shower.”
“Wonderful idea.”
The two of you are the first ones downstairs once you’ve got ready, and you settle down on the sofa, deciding to wait for other people to arrive before having breakfast given neither of you are particularly hungry yet. You also bring down your secret Santa gift — a week ago, everyone was sent an email telling them who they needed to buy a cheap gift for, with the plans to exchange them today. You got Anakin this year, which was a relief, as in your first year you had to buy something for Qui-Gon, meaning you had to break the rules and ask Anakin what the fuck you were meant to get for the man.
You add the gift to the pile — all of them are already there apart from Anakin’s, you note, before sitting back down next to Obi-Wan. “How are you feeling about your gift this year? No spoilers, of course,” he asks.
You shrug. “Pretty alright. Better than in the past, I will say. Hopefully the recipient will like it.”
“I’m sure they will.”
“What about you? How do you think you’ve done?”
Obi-Wan thinks for a second. “Definitely not my worst secret Santa gift. The teacher one this year was ridiculous. Thankfully, we’re a small school so there aren’t loads of teachers, but because the universe hates me I had to get a gift for the chemistry teacher.”
You raise your eyebrows. “What’s wrong with the chemistry teacher?”
“One of those classical languages are useless guys who think that the humanities are inherently lesser. Once he actually made a comment about having a degree in a ‘real’ subject.” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes.
“I know exactly what you mean,” you groan. “Those people are the worst.”
“Exactly! I had no idea what to get the man, given I tend to avoid him at all costs in the staff room and he wouldn’t be seen dead in the languages corridor. So I asked my friend Quin, who sees him more often — Quin teaches physics — and apparently he really likes Formula 1 but hates Red Bull, so I got him a Red Bull Racing mug.”
You grin. “Well played. It’s almost as evil as if you got him a Rich Energy-era Haas mug.”
“Oh, I couldn’t be quite that awful, not even to Maul. And thank you. Quin tells me that the mug is now used as a pen holder on his desk, so he didn’t throw it out, at least.”
“What were you given?”
“Someone managed to figure out my favourite whiskey, so I got a bottle of that. Definitely can’t complain.”
“Definitely not. Can I go and make some tea?” you ask.
“Sure.”
“Do you want any?”
After getting the instructions for Obi-Wan’s preferred tea, you go into the kitchen and boil the kettle. You grin at the variety of mugs in the cupboard, pulling out a simple blue one for yourself but appreciating the multiple ‘best teacher ever!’ mugs that you can see. Assuming that the mug still out on the side is Obi-Wan’s go-to, you prepare his drink in that one before carrying them both back through to the living room.
Obi-Wan takes the drink from you gratefully, taking a quick sip to try it out. “Thank you, that tastes perfect,” he says.
“I’m glad,” you grin. When you sit down, Obi-Wan leans in to kiss you, and you press your lips to his happily, hand coming up to rest at his jaw. Starting off relatively simply, you decide to deepen it, and begin to suck lightly on Obi-Wan’s tongue.
“Should I come back in five minutes?”
You and Obi-Wan bounce apart, barely managing to keep all of your tea in the mug. Dooku has come downstairs, and is fixing you both with a slightly confused look. “No- er- happy Christmas!” You get out. Smooth.
Dooku raises his eyebrows. “Happy Christmas.”
Obi-Wan turns to look at him, and you catch the sheepish look on his face. “Happy Christmas, Grandfather.”
Dooku moves around to sit at the sofa opposite the two of you. “I don’t intend to pry a lot, but I must ask — how long has this been going on for?”
You grimace. “A day?” Obi-Wan explains.
“Ah. I’m not completely ignorant, then.”
“No. But- well, we haven’t told anyone yet, so we’d appreciate it if you could hold off on telling people,” Obi-Wan says.
“Yeah- we’re just trying to sort out how to go about things at the moment,” you add.
“Don’t worry,” Dooku says with a slight grin. “Your secret is safe with me. I wouldn’t wait too long though, this kind of thing has a tendency to get out on its own. And — for what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone will be too surprised.”
Interesting. You and Obi-Wan share a look. “We’ll figure it out,” he says, and you find yourself agreeing with him.
The subject is thankfully changed after that, and soon enough you’re joined by more people. Anakin and Padmé are up earlier too — Anakin usually likes to wake up at a good time on Christmas Day — and once they arrive everyone goes to get breakfast.
After everyone has finished breakfast and washed up, Obi-Wan suggests exchanging the secret Santa presents. Nobody disagrees with him, so he goes to the designated pile and begins to give everyone their present. Everyone takes turns opening them, and you grin as you watch Anakin unwrap his.
A few weeks ago, you were shopping and saw a tie with a circuit board pattern on it, and you couldn’t resist. You guessed that even if you didn’t get him for secret Santa, you could give it to him as part of his birthday present, and to get just to the edge of the budget bought him a large bar of his favourite chocolate as well.
When he opens it, Anakin laughs, and proceeds to tie it around his neck, which looks very interesting next to his Christmas jumper. “Thank you, secret Santa,” he says. “I will look absolutely incredible at my next work do.”
There don’t seem to be any bad gifts, which is always a relief, and it soon comes round to you. Your package isn’t big, but it’s not exactly light either, with bright, striped wrapping paper and a silver bow. Intrigued, you take off the bow and start to unwrap it, quickly realising that it’s a book.
You practically gasp when you see the cover. It’s a gorgeous hardback, with stitched details on the cover and all, containing the Iliad, Odyssey, and all of the poem fragments from the Epic Cycle in the original Greek texts. “What the hell…” you say quietly, before laughing a little. “This was not the joke gift I was expecting. I do not believe for a second that this was in the budget.”
Everyone laughs too, interested to see the book properly. Once people have had a quick look, you flick through it — it even has that classic book smell you love — and it has illustrations too. “A hearty fuck you to my secret Santa for giving me something I’ll be too afraid to read but also outdoing any other gift I’ll ever receive.”
“Just to double check…” Qui-Gon says. “Everyone was within the budget, correct? Do you all swear?”
Everyone says some form of I swear, and then the conversation moves on. At some point, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon disappear into the kitchen to begin cooking dinner, and you start talking to Ahsoka and Barriss. Barriss seems to be much more comfortable today, which you’re glad about, and her secret Santa gift was pretty good too. After a while, she goes to another room to call her parents, leaving you and Ahsoka.
“Are you planning on opening that today?” You ask, gesturing to Ahsoka’s gift. It’s a bottle of wine with ‘baby’s first alcohol' printed on the label, which she was given alongside a pack of hydration tablets with ‘for the morning after’ scribbled on the box in sharpie. Definitely not the most secret of santas — you and Ahsoka could recognise Anakin’s handwriting from a mile away — and also not the most accurate given it definitely won’t be Ahsoka’s first drink, not by a long shot, but it made everyone laugh.
Ahsoka has another look at the label, and hums. “I don’t think so. I may as well continue to steal Obi-Wan’s, right?”
You laugh. “Smart.”
She grins. “Of course. It’ll come in handy for New Year’s, though.”
“Ooh. Have you figured out what you’re doing for that yet?”
“Barriss is having a party, so I’m going to that. Plans are to stay for a day or two, as well,” Ahsoka explains. “Basically do a reverse version of this… but without her cousins and grandparents around.”
“Sounds fun.”
“What are you doing?”
You grimace. “Hell if I know. I’ll probably see what Anakin’s doing and whether it’s possible for me to hijack that. I’ll figure something out, anyway.” Idly, you wonder whether Obi-Wan might want to do something, or if he already has plans.
“Can I have another look at your book?” Ahsoka asks.
“Sure.” You hand it over, and she has a quick look through.
She pauses near the beginning, at a drawing of the Judgement of Paris. “This is really cool. Even if I have no idea what any of it says.”
You laugh. “Yeah — it’d take me quite a bit to figure it out, I must say. It will probably stand proudly on my bookshelf for evermore, being brought out to flex on people every once in a while. I’m already terrified of damaging it.”
“I know I would be.”
Eventually, everyone is summoned through to the dining room, where the table is set for everyone, and a Christmas cracker is put in front of everyone’s place. You wind up sitting between Anakin and Obi-Wan, at least until Obi-Wan goes back into the kitchen with Qui-Gon to bring everyone’s food out and serve the wine.
Dinner is very nice, and everyone seems to agree on that front given how quickly it’s eaten. Afterwards, Shmi and Dooku volunteer to wash up, which you appreciate, and Obi-Wan says that it’ll be time for the Christmas crackers once they come back.
You turn to him. “I don’t know if it’s you or your dad, but one of you is a great cook.”
Obi-Wan laughs. “I suppose you can give Dad the credit there. I did learn from him, after all.”
It doesn’t take long for Shmi and Dooku to wash up, and they’re back through to the dining room relatively quickly. They sit back down, and everyone picks up their cracker and holds it with the person next to them — you hold Obi-Wan’s on one side, and Anakin also holds yours on the other.
“Three… two… one… now!” Obi-Wan says, and everyone pulls, making a satisfying crack sound as the card strips rip. Luckily, you come away holding both cracker-middles in your hands, which is a shock given you know full well that Anakin likes to play dirty.
“Hell yeah,” you grin, before handing what’s technically Anakin’s back to him. The first thing you pull out is the joke, and immediately roll your eyes. “Get this — what did they sing at Frosty the Snowman’s birthday party?”
“Pray tell, what did they sing at Frosty the Snowman’s birthday party?” Obi-Wan asks, feigning true curiosity.
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
Anakin laughs. “That’s not too bad, come on. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas tree?”
“Just tell me.”
”Horn-aments!”
You groan, and turn to Obi-Wan to hear his joke. “Who is Father Christmas’ favourite singer?”
“Oh no.”
“Elf-is Presley. Not too bad. I personally prefer David Snowy.” There’s a cute grin on Obi-Wan’s face, but you suppress your smile.
“Shut up. I am going to get another of your cushions and bludgeon you with it.”
“Hey, that’s harsh,” Qui-Gon says from across the table. “He and Melton John are wonderful.”
“That was awful. I hate this family.”
Obi-Wan cocks his head. “Oh, come on, I thought you’d like puns.”
“I do! Just not prompted by one of these.”
“Spoilsport,” Obi-Wan says. “I swear, if you don’t wear the paper crown then you’ll be required to leave now.”
You laugh. “Don’t worry. My soul isn’t quite that dead,” you say as you pull the silver crown out, unfold it, and put it gently on your head. Obi-Wan grins again, and jokingly pushes the crown down so it covers your eyes.
“It’s a bit big, don’t you think?”
“I think it makes a wonderful addition to my outfit.”
“It would look better if it was gold,” Obi-Wan says, putting on his own golden paper crown, “But not all of us are worthy of such an honour.”
“Shut up and drink your wine.”
Obi-Wan obliges, downing the rest of his glass in one sip and reaching for the bottle again. Upon realising that it’s been emptied, however, he suggests that everyone move into the living room again, and another bottle can be opened.
“Will I need another non-alcoholic one for you, Padmé?” He asks.
Padmé smiles. “Thanks, but I’m not quite finished yet. It’s very nice though!”
“As is the real wine,” Anakin grins. “You’ll be out of stock by the time we leave.”
Obi-Wan turns back from the bottle cabinet. “You’d better not be drinking this tomorrow morning. Just because you’re not driving, it doesn’t mean that you can be a hooligan on public transport.”
Anakin returns Obi-Wan’s flat look. “Since when have I been a hooligan on public transport?” He quickly turns to you. “Don’t.”
“I’m not saying anything,” you say, smiling at the memory of Anakin trying to get everyone on the top floor of the bus to sing along to a song with him.
Once everyone’s glasses are topped up, Obi-Wan puts on some music. He goes for more poppy Christmas tunes this time, and everyone happily starts another sing-along session. Obi-Wan sits next to you on the sofa, as before, and his arm comes to rest around your shoulders like it’s second nature now. The simple gesture and the smile that he gives you makes your heart flutter, and you find it extremely endearing when he begins to lightly drum out the rhythm to the song on your shoulder.
After a while, when people are caught up in conversation again, Obi-Wan leans in so his mouth is right by your ear. “How about,” he murmurs, “After the first people go to bed, we say we’re tired, and we can have a bit of time to ourselves upstairs?” The feeling of his voice in your ear combined with his suggestion makes your face warm, and there’s a wicked grin on his face when you turn to look at him.
You raise your eyebrows, but a smile creeps onto your face too. “Sounds like a plan.”
Waiting after that suggestion is torture, and you’ve never quite wanted to be rid of other people so much in a very long time. It doesn’t seem like anyone is particularly tired, either; you suppose you can’t exactly fault them for wanting to stay up a little later on Christmas Day, especially when everyone’s leaving tomorrow, but you’re getting increasingly impatient.
Eventually, Qui-Gon decides to go to bed, and he yawns as he says his goodbyes to everyone. The second he’s out the door, you turn to Obi-Wan, eyebrows raised again.
“Five minutes?” he suggests, and you agree.
Those five minutes pass at a snail’s pace, but eventually, they’re finished. You confirm the time on your phone before getting yourself to yawn, only slightly exaggerating it. “I hate to say it, but I’m absolutely shattered. I might head to bed.”
Anakin groans loudly. “Pathetic,” he proclaims, but you just shrug.
“I’m tired of you most of all,” you say. “Goodnight everyone. Today’s been great — happy Christmas.”
You stand, and Obi-Wan stretches in his chair. “I’ll go to bed too, actually. Don’t want to have to disturb you later, and I’ll need to be well rested to cope with the tragedy that will be saying goodbye to everyone tomorrow. It’s been a lovely day.”
He stands, and you go to collect your book as everyone else wishes you goodnight, Dooku with a knowing, somewhat resigned look on his face. Once you’re partway up the first flight of stairs, you feel Obi-Wan’s hands settle at your waist. “Perfectly carried out,” he says, and presses a kiss to the crook of your neck, before lightly sucking the skin there into his mouth.
You laugh, to cover up any other noises you might be tempted to make. “Obi-Wan… at least wait until we get upstairs and I can get my book safe.”
He gives an exaggerated sigh, but removes his mouth from your neck. His hands, however, stay at your waist, and the two of you somehow manage to make it up the stairs with Obi-Wan making sure to hold you close. Once you’re inside the bedroom, you go over to where your bags are, and lovingly place your new book on top of your things.
Obi-Wan watches you do this, amused. “You like the book, then?”
“Of course I do. Wait-” you catch the tone in Obi-Wan’s voice, and he grins. “Oh, fuck you.”
Before you realise it, you’ve grabbed Obi-Wan and pulled him into a deep kiss. You put your hand at the back of his neck, bringing him in even closer as you try to show him how much you care about him. You only pull away when your teeth click together, pausing to take a breath when your mouths are still only millimetres apart, breathing in each other’s air. “I’m glad I made the right choice,” Obi-Wan says quietly, still catching his breath.
“How on earth was that beautiful book within the budget?” you ask, leaning back slightly.
“I found it in a charity shop the day after I found out I got you. I was half tempted to get it for myself, but I didn’t. And your reaction has made it worth it.”
You feel your heart melt at that admission, and kiss him again before you can stop yourself. “Take that off,” you say next, pinching at the wool of Obi-Wan’s Christmas jumper. “Now.”
Obi-Wan laughs as he does so, removing the garment and dropping it carelessly to the floor, but adjusts the paper crown so it stays — only slightly creased — on his head. “I should buy you classical literature more often,” he says, taking the initiative to get rid of his belt as well.
“Yeah, the Epic Cycle is exactly why I want you to fuck me,” you say, stripping off your own clothes down to your underwear.
“Want me to recite it for you?”
“Won’t kill the mood at all if you start talking about a literal war, go ahead.”
Instead of speaking, though, Obi-Wan pulls you close to him once more, and captures your lips in a bruising kiss. It freezes you, somewhat, ridding you of any urges to mock him and reminding you exactly why you cut the socialising aspect of the evening short in the first place. You moan into the kiss, and happily open your mouth when prompted so Obi-Wan can slip his tongue in and roll his over yours.
Once you pull away, you realise that you’re leaning heavily against Obi-Wan, having relaxed into his embrace during the kiss. You go to shift your stance, but he just seems amused if the look on his face is any indication. “Come on,” he says quietly, guiding you backwards until the back of your legs hit the side of the mattress. Obi-Wan moves you again, until you’re lying back on the bed and he’s positioned above you, arms placed next to your head caging you in.
He kisses you, long and slow, and grazes your lip lightly with his teeth as he pulls away. He then shifts his focus to your neck; he gets more time now than on the stairs to suck at the skin there, the light scratch of his beard making you appreciate the feelings even more.
After deciding that he’s apparently paid enough attention to your neck, Obi-Wan starts to kiss a trail down your body, leaving your skin burning in his wake. You’re torn between wanting to watch every one of his movements and desperately pressing your head back into the pillow, and just about manage to watch until he reaches your underwear. Obi-Wan presses a kiss to your hip before pulling your underwear down your legs, dropping it over the side of the bed.
Then he’s moving back up your body. You go to kiss him this time, leaning up and holding onto his shoulders until he gently lowers you back down again. “Just be a good girl for me and stay still, alright?” Obi-Wan says, and you nod, looking up into his eyes. He smiles, before one hand goes to your chest, lightly brushing a nipple with his thumb. At the same time, he leans down and takes the other nipple into his mouth, flicking at it a little with his tongue before sucking, which elicits a rather loud moan from you.
Obi-Wan pulls back immediately. “Shh, darling. People aren’t asleep yet, they really could hear us. We’re meant to be sleeping now.”
“You should’ve considered that before doing this, then.” Your voice is more breathless than you intend, and the end of your sentence is cut off with another — albeit quieter — moan when Obi-Wan twists your nipple, and presses a thigh between your legs.
“Oh, but how could I resist?” he says. He goes to your chest again, taking the other nipple into his mouth this time. He doesn’t leave the other one, though, brushing it, finger running more smoothly over it now that it’s wet with his spit. You arch your back, desperate for more contact, just about managing to keep yourself quiet, but you can’t help grinding against Obi-Wan’s thigh. He doesn’t seem to mind, pressing it more against you so you don’t have to writhe around quite as much.
A few seconds later, he takes his free hand and goes to the juncture of your thighs, moving his own thigh away and cupping your cunt with his hand, bringing two fingers through your folds. He runs his tongue over your nipple one last time, before pulling away to grin at you. “So wet, aren’t you? I could feel it on my thigh.”
“All for you, Obi-Wan,” you say, spreading your legs a little to hopefully convey what you want from him.
He just laughs softly. “All for me. Can I fuck you now?”
“Please, Obi-Wan…”
He takes a second to position himself properly, and then he’s sinking into you. The first inch or so is slow, almost teasing, but after that he bottoms out into you with one powerful thrust. Having preempted the noise you’d make, Obi-Wan’s hand is immediately covering your mouth, muffling what would have been an embarrassingly loud moan. ”You feel wonderful,” he says, his other hand gripping your thigh, and you hum in agreement.
Obi-Wan’s rhythm isn’t exactly fast, but it feels good, and you move your hips to try and take him in deeper each time. “Do you think you can stay quiet, or should I keep my hand here?” he asks, taking it away for a second so you can answer.
“You can keep it there, I- I like it,” you say. “I- can I-” You can’t quite finish, and Obi-Wan grins.
“You like my hand near your mouth?” he says. His hand cups your chin, and he softly strokes your lower lip with his thumb for a second before lightly pressing it between your lips. Glad that he seems to have understood what you wanted, you accept it into your mouth, licking the underside and then sucking at the digit. “Is this alright?”
You nod, moaning a little around the thumb, and let your eyes flutter closed as you let Obi-Wan fuck you at whatever pace he wants. You like the thumb in your mouth an awful lot though, and you know that you’re going to come soon when Obi-Wan moves the other hand from your hip to press against your clit, the extra pressure making you feel even better.
You feel quite bad for Obi-Wan trying to rub your clit when your hips begin to writhe even more, no doubt making his job a lot harder, but he manages anyway. All you can hear is your racing heartbeat and the pleased noises Obi-Wan’s making, and you open your eyes to look up at his aroused expression.
It’s when he hits one particular spot within you that the pleasure overtakes you, the sound you make only slightly muffled by Obi-Wan’s hand. Your head lolls back again, a tired smile on your face. Obi-Wan looks down at you, pleased. “My good girl. Can I- can I carry on?”
You nod. “Of course, Obi-Wan. I still want to feel you. Want to feel you tomorrow, too,” you add slyly.
He smiles, and moves in to kiss you. It isn’t a long one, however, as he soon focuses on a series of quick thrusts, chasing his pleasure. He doesn’t last much longer, thrusting one final time before pulsing inside you and coming. He practically collapses on top of you after pulling out, that stupid paper crown pressing against your face and making you laugh.
“Good way to end Christmas,” Obi-Wan says.
You grin. “Can’t disagree there.”
You go to use the bathroom and get some water — a glass for Obi-Wan, too, who drinks it gratefully, before lying back down next to him. He removed the crown in your absence, having put it on his bedside table, and you run a hand through his hair when you’re beside him again. He subtly presses his head into the touch, and you smile, continuing to lightly stroke his hair. “What are you doing for New Year’s?” you ask.
“Presently, nothing. Are you doing something?”
“I’m not. Do you want to go somewhere?”
He smiles. “That would be lovely. You can choose the place.”
“Great. I’ll get thinking about it.”
Obi-Wan holds you close, and seems to quickly fall asleep to the feeling of you stroking his hair. You’re tired too, of course, and eventually stop as you fall asleep yourself, having had probably the nicest Christmas in a long time.
thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed and didn’t mind me shoving even more of my personal interests in there lmao. still not remotely close to christmas but at least it’s not july this time? also i hope it didn’t come across as agressively british; i have very little idea of the different christmas traditions in each country i just went with my own favourites that i do haha
a shoutout to the last secret santa i participated in where i was given a copy of the odyssey of star wars: an epic poem which is quite possibly the most fitting gift i’ve ever been given. alas i don’t think a book like the one in this chapter exists irl :(
also this is three chapters now! i’m actually pretty invested in this au so next chapter will probably be new year’s eve. then i might do some more random snippets of holidays throughout the year? not entirely sure yet as i also have a new series i’ve started writing… we shall see
either way i hope you liked more of this modern au <3
my masterlist
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@starrrgazingbunny
Lol that's it!!! Obi Wan is always like 'it's a terribly difficult job being married to a man benevolent enough to keep offering up our sofa to whichever of his few million brothers is having a bad week' meanwhile Cody is like 'they wouldn't be on the sofa if you hadn't already given up every bed in the house to whichever poor soul you've stumbled across recently' and they act annoyed but they love each other for it.
Meanwhile Anakin is just a permanent fixture in their apartment by now. He watches all their arguments while eating cereal out the box like 'yeah this definitely isn't about me'.
And that is the exact feel!!! That spiderman meme but its fox and Boba on either side of a backstreet cloning lab (they aren't successfully doing cloning btw the fic goes in to the fact that none of them have the skill of the kamineese. There's just a lot of bodysnatching and attempting cloning going on. There's a comic book vibe to it 😂 lots of incompetent unethical scientists about)
Now it's funny you mention where Quinlan gets his money, as that part is addressed and I have written it! so wonder no more. Here's another snippet, later in the fic, with Cody once again concerned about fox's income (or lack of it) below. Here, Cody has found Fox's pi office (which he's been keeping secret from everyone because, he doesnt like being open with people lol) and tho fox doesn't tell him about Quin, he does think about it and that explains the source of the money
And yeah, if I ever finish it it'll be uploaded to ao3 and I usually post links here so (if I remember- sorry I do have a terrible memory lol) I can totally tag you. I've got multiple fics on the go atm tho and I'm trying to figure out a few rewrites of my older stuff so this one's definitely not on the menu atm. I may well do some more snippets of the bits I've written tho (there's a bit that explains the cloning crime wave and how Fox got involved that I may well put up on here) so if you're interested in the disjointed bits, I'm happy to tag you in those?
"Are you happy?"
Fox shot him a look. What kind of karking question was that?
He didn't say the words aloud but his brother seemed to read them in his face all the same. Cody was good like that.
"That, is the only question I'll ever want answered when it comes to you, Fox."
Fox stays stubbornly silent. Cody didn't seem to notice the poor welcome, settling in all the same.
His brother folds himself in to a chair, graceful as ever. Cody had always had this way of moving, there was a certain flow to his movements. Like molten metal, rolling but weighted all the same. Time in his Jedi's company had only made it worse.
Jedi moved like that because of the Force, its powers helping them stay one step ahead, always. More often than not, Jedi moved like life was a dance, their smooth movements rolling together like a predetermined routine.
His brothers movements belied that same determination, something that only grew more obvious with each day he spent in Kenobi's company. Kenobi moved with a grace fed by his precognition, but Cody moved in this way in spite of the Force's absence. Fox's brother had never needed mystical powers to be sure in his movements, he held within him a well rounded confidence born only of his own competence.
Cody met his eyes in the kind of piercing way that would make him revolt, had it come from someone else. Sitting opposite him, his brother looked directly in to his soul and waited, patiently.
It made Fox want to not say anything, just to prove that he could. He didn't though. He never could leave Cody waiting too long, he just didn't want to.
"I don't do this to be happy. I don't think it's something that ever could bring me that."
He scoffed. "Finding happiness in employment is some natborn shit, it doesn't exist."
He ran his tongue along his teeth. "This is my job because without it, I wouldn't stand a chance of finding that anywhere else in my life. These people need someone like me, to find them. I don't want to rest knowing that someone else is looking, I want to be the one that finds them. "
Cody tilts his head. Fox has potentially, said too much.
The problem with Cody has always been that he sees so much more than you want him to. Fox generally avoids these kind of conversations as admitting anything to his brother, usually results in you leaving that conversation, feeling somewhat skinned. Cody can somehow leave you feeling raw and open to the elements without so much as a word.
He's clearly seen whatever he was looking for as finally, he rights his head, only narrowing his eyes and asserting "That's OK then."
Fox bites back a snappy remark about being glad he's got permission. There would be no damn point. Besides, he hardly wants to give his brother any more to silently pick apart.
After a moments more careful watching, Cody smirks. The moment has broken. They are just brothers again.
"The only part I am a bit uncertain about is your insistence that this is a job. You aren't in employment Fox, whatever you say, you'd need an employer for that to be true and how can it be a job, when you don't accept any money?"
Fox shoots him an irritated look, glad they are finally past the point of talking. Conversation with Cody often feels like exposing delicate, wet organs. You find yourself edging around the kind of feelings and motivations that only live in the darkest depths of a person, those crammed in to the base of a heart, tucked deep within one's liver.
"As a matter of fact I do accept money. I have fees. That's the whole point of being a private investigator. It's a service which ones customers pay for."
Cody grins. Looking behind his shoulder, towards the door. "Sure, says it on the door. 25 an hour, what does that convert to these days? A stiff rate I'm sure. How often do you actually charge it though?"
Fox frowns. "I've done my time being ordered round by natborns. I won't accept money they offer in exchange for chaining me once again. I won't take money so that they can order me to deliver to them someone else for chaining."
Cody gives him another scrutinising look. "You're a good man. I don't think anyone says enough but it's true." You should hear it more. "Declining a paycheck in favour of what is right is an honorable thing."
He lets his words hang there a moment before continuing, "There's no shame in feeding yourself though. Can't help anyone if you can't eat."
Why did it always come back to this.
"That's not a problem. I'm fine." Fox tells him. " Go back to your Jeti. You've done your bit, you are allowed to go back and enjoy your life once again".
Cody hums. "Isn't it though? Because a little bird told me you aren't taking on much of anything paid at the moment." He narrows his eyes. "You send them away. Sometimes you send them away and do the job anyway." He raises an eyebrow. "Surely you can take their money and just tell them the person didn't want to be found?"
"I could. I won't." Fox replies stiffly. "These people think they own you once they pay your bills. I don't do this for them, I do this for the people who need to be found, who need their lives back in their own hands. "
Cody sighs. "I know, but those people can't pay. If you are saving them anyway. Why can't you just take the money under the agreement that its not for delivering their missing person back to them, but in payment of ensuring their safety? Payment for what you're doing anyway."
"I could." Fox agrees. "I do sometimes. But I won't do it if they are only paying me with the idea that I'll help them trap that person once again. The idea of it is an anathema. It doesn't do the missing person justice. It's not fair."
Cody shook his head. "You know what I think? I think you are fucking yourself over in service of an ideology that nobody cares about but you. Have any of these people told you they are annoyed you took daddy's money?"
Fox says nothing.
"Of course they haven't!" Cody continues. "Because they aren't! They're just happy that you found them, no matter who brought the case to your attention. No matter who dropped their money on a service you're clearly happy to provide for free."
He looks frustrated. "Look, you know what, it doesn't matter. All I care about is you having enough to live on. While I've got more than I need, I guess it doesn't matter if you want to work for free, as long as you'll ask me for what you need."
Cody sighed. "At least give me that Fox. When you need money, let me know".
Fox scowls at the wall. He could feel Cody's eyes boring in to him. "OK fine whatever".
He could say it to keep his brother happy. Of course he wouldn't actually ever need to ask because Fox's outgoings were sorted, thanks to Quinlan, not that he'd be telling his brother that.
It went like this; Quin like all Jedi, was given a monthly stipend. Quin unlike the rest of the jedi, did not need that stipend to live off, as he preferred to live off whoevers sofa was nearest to him.
Quin liked to come back to Fox, more often than not. He had been doing so for years.
Quin was not the type to need a home or belongings. He preferred to rob travel money from whatever unsuspecting crime boss had crossed his eyeline than to use Jedi funding.
It didn't matter that he wouldn't use the jedi money, they'd send it to him all the same.
The Jedi liked to provide for their own. Quin liked to know that Fox was eating and so, quite against Fox's will, for the past 13 months, Quin had transferred his monthly stipend, out of his account and in to Fox's. Fox didn't need the money and it wasn't a thing. Him and Quin were not anything.
Quin taking it upon himself to hand his money over to Fox didn't mean anything. It was just a Quinlan'ism, one of many. A thing the man did, quite in spite of any kind of logic.
It wasn't like Fox had been hard up before the arrangement started. He may not take much money for investigating, but he did tend to come in to range of large amounts of money, in the ownership of very undeserving people, during his work.
He used most of it to set up the people he found, in new lives. He used a little to keep him alive.
He hadn't needed to, these past 13 months. Fox's bills went paid, if he worked or not and they would continue to. It left a strange taste in his mouth. A indescribable feeling in his stomach. Fox didn't like to think of it.
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Clone Wars - Rookies
Now that I've got a laptop I can actually type on... time to get back into the rewatch with AN EPISODE THAT WILL PAIN ME.
'The best confidence builder is experience' yeah assuming that you get to have that and don't just get brutally killed on your first assignment. If you get past all of that, then you can get confidence building experience.
Unfortunately, because of the relentless demands of battle, many young clones must join the struggle before their intensive training has been completed.
LIKE COME ON. I'M FERAL. THEY DIDN'T EVEN GET TRAINED FULLY AND WERE SENT OUT ANYWAY. Tragic how that Just Has to Happen, there's no other way we definitely can't recruit people that aren't clones and have volunteered for this. That's impossible, sorry.
*checks time* we're at about 40 seconds now, I'm going to be so normal about this. Sooooo normal.
God though do I love Echo. I LIKE THAT IT'S SO QUIET OUT HERE :D GIVES ME TIME TO CATCH UP ON THE REG MANUALS :D what a nerd. A precious, precious nerd. Who knew that in a few short years they would be running around with a squad full of unadulterated chaos like the batch?
Shout out to Sergeant O'Niner for extreme handsomeness, I just love the greying look, so sue me.
Also Obi-Wan getting after Anakin for not sleeping, this is likely such a long running argument. I seem to remember the ROTS novelization said something about how Anakin didn't sleep for pretty much the entirety of it. BAD HABITS WILL GET YOU IN THE END. One day you're skimping on sleep to find General Grievous and the next you haven't slept in five days and you've murdered the younglings.
I love "Good man, that Cody" how often does Obi-Wan just randomly compliment Cody the instant he hangs up?
Hevy is so unimpressed by the meteor shower, in one last bit of humor before clone boys start dying. O'Niner's death is particularly brutal with the POV shot of three blasters gunning him down, but I hate all of it 😭Wasting absolutely no time cutting the clone numbers in half, including poor, unfortunately named Droidbait. (I can't get over that name, I simply can't. Nothing says awkward like memorializing your comrade Droidbait, who was murdered by droids.)
Also the specific way the droid changes its voice, the grabbing at its neck and apparently physically forcing its voice module into a clone voice. Upsetting to look at! But worth it for 'we do not need an inspection! Everything's fine! :)' Maximum suspicious behavior. And Cody's main reaction is just 'you know what? I need this to not be my problem. Rex is in charge.' I feel like we underestimate the amount of Little Shit Cody can be when he feels like it.
Mid typing of course, Cutup got eaten by an eel. RIP. I do feel like this part is played a little too lightly, they call out Cutup's name and say poor Cutup and all but no one seems all that like, distressed, that he's gone. At the very least that's 25% of their remaining manpower! Show some concern guys!
Moving on though, this lighting is doing Cody's paint job no favors.
I do love how unnerving the droid pretending to be a clone is though. Droid like 'how do clones act? Gestures? They gesture right?' and proceeds to do it in the worst way possible.
Rex is showing off a great dichotomy here, with Anakin and Ahsoka he always comes off as the cool headed one that tries to do things by the book, but when he hauls off and shoots the suspicious 'clone' in the face, Cody is HORRIFIED AND CONFUSED. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? One squad's voice of reason is another squad's absolute lunatic.
Speaking of characterization notes, I still find it a little odd that Fives has gotten the full party boy characterization of the Echo & Fives set in fanon when he's almost as rigid as Echo here, at least when set against Hevy. He introduces himself to Rex and Cody by his CT number and it's Hevy that fills in their actual names. I feel like he loosens up over the show, but he's definitely more by the book than people give him credit for. The real difference between the two as set up seems to be that Fives is a little more assertive (but kind of quieter) to Echo's soft spoken but chatty personality.
HANDPRINT THOUGH, HANDPRINT HANDPRINT. Literally if I could change one (1) small thing about TBB it's that I would give Echo back their handprint. I hate that they don't have it, it's integral damn it.
Rex breaking back in is still one of my favorite parts. Holding up the severed head up to the camera while Cody just goes THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK. Give him some credit, Cody, he knows what he's doing.
"Permission to take point, sir?"
"I'm always first, kid."
Every day, Rex is just out here being unspeakably attractive. (And Echo is being unspeakably cute. "I GOT ONE :D")
Rex yet again showing his insane levels by going straight to 'guess we blow the whole place up' as his battle plan. No chill in this man, none at ALL.
Also, the detonator not hooking up with the handset. I can't believe that Hevy gets killed by fucking. Bluetooth issues. Imagine that your life rests on getting two pieces of technology to fucking communicate with each other. And Rex and Cody's immediate reaction is they need to GO BACK AND GET HIM RIGHT NOW, no one wants him to sacrifice himself, that wasn't what he was supposed to do when Rex left him to fix the detonator. I'm sure he gets hella survivors guilt from that. He left the rookie behind, it probably feels like his fault that Hevy is gone. Just pile the problems on him, just do it.
Echo having a tendency to make questionably timed jokes is. Certainly something. Like, Cutup gets eaten by an eel - that's why the regulations say don't go outside! Hevy gets blown up - Hevy always did hate that place! Like. Baby. Do you have to say that NOW? They perhaps have some filter issues.
Triumphant ending! Everyone except these two has died horribly! But they have medals you see!
It's still one of my favorite episodes though. All clones all the time, lots of chances to fawn over my boys, I can never turn that down. Echo my beloved ❤️
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Me: listen if the scar above Anakin's right eye is indeed a lightsaber burn then he should definitely have lost the eye because the heat from a lightsaber injury continues to spread through the tissue after contact with the blade has terminated. There's simply no other way for this to go, it's fucking plasma, it's going to transfer a fucktonne of heat in that split second which the remaining tissues at the edge of the wound will in turn transfer into surrounding undamaged tissue until all the heat has dispersed. Unless there's some kind of super effective cooling system never mentioned in canon that attempts to contain the damage to just the actual wound but even for an elegant weapon for a more civilized age that seems like quite a stretch.
You're either not wounded at all or you're in serious trouble, even a graze is going to leave deep subcutaneous burns. Once you break that invisible force field that gives the blade its shape there's nothing holding back the heat.
Like have you never mildly burned yourself in the kitchen before? You know why cold water and/or ice feels so good? It's because it's stopping tissue damage that was continuing to happen. And that's way less heat than a lightsaber! Way less!
Come to think of it, that scar is close enough to his brain that he should have some neurological damage on that side, just from heat conduction, and it looks pretty fuckin close to his frontal lobe???? Ventress fuckin gave him a plasma lobotomy bro. I'm not convinced there's any amount of bacta that can fix that. Can bacta even canonically regenerate nerve tissue at all? Brain cells are harder to replicate than regular nerves even. That's why IRL once it's gone it's gone. Assuming it would help, how would you treat a brain injury with bacta when the skull isn't fractured anyway? Just saw his head open and pour it in? Sounds kinda fucked if you ask me.
Like we all accept without question that Grievous lost brain matter during his horrific shuttle crash and Sidious used the damage as an opportunity to alter the poor fucker's personality to better suit his own aims but man, Anakin's got to be missing a chunk of his brain from that lightsaber burn, I'm no thermophysicist or whatever but my guess is he may have lost as much as 1/16th of his brain tissue not to mention how much wasn't lost but might be firing poorly or something due to the heat exposure. We never hear mention of any neurocybernetics for him and the narrative treats it like just a surface wound. That's not how anything works. Palpatine would love to replace part of Anakin's brain I'm sure!!! Imagine the fuckin shit he could do considering what the much less personal inhibitor chips did to the clones.
Anyway back to the eye again I'm not a physicist but like I think realistically it would have exploded from the heat since it's full of liquid? The aqeuos humor would have flash evaporated within fractions of a second. He'd probably be lucky if that didn't also do damage of its own like steam destroying the optical nerve. Or unlucky to survive the whole thing. And what about the fluid around his brain, would it boil from the heat? Is the bone itself burned?
And I mean don't get me wrong, I adore Anakin's eye scar. Like not only does it look cool as fuck and symbolize all the invisible ways the war has changed him but I want Obi-Wan and/or Padme to kiss it when they tuck him into bed every night because I'm fuckin deranged. But you have to admit there's just no physical way in hell that a light saber only left a single line of badly burned tissue and he still has a head when googled estimates put plasma at between 11000°F and 14500°F and the surface of the sun at about 10000°F. I would say the easy solution is to have it come from an actual laceration which I'm sure we could easily come up for a story for in a war, especially with his propensity for spaceship crashes, but the Star Wars universe actively hates easy medical explanations that make scientific sense because George Lucas is trying to kill me. Or was Dooku evil enough to only give Ventress shitty training sabers for an actual fight? And she somehow didn't notice or couldn't do anything about it? Wild.
Meanwhile this also means Qui-Gon died because his internal organs were overwhelmed and/or destroyed by the heat. Either his heart got cooked beyond use as the heat dispersed or he died of rapid heatstroke from the inside. A puncture wound to the gut like that could take someone hours to die from or maybe not even be fatal depending on what it hit, especially if cauterized, but dipping something extremely hot inside your body even very briefly would kill within a few minutes. Which explains why he's only wincing a little because the likelihood he's too in shock to really feel much pain is way higher being plasma'd than being merely stabbed.
Note also how a slight graze drops Obi-Wan to the floor when fighting Dooku during AotC and all he can do is writhe. That's because he's continuing to get burned from inside! His thigh muscles are cooking! But does anyone ever think of that? No, he's just fine the next time we see him. The scarring alone a person would have from losing that much tissue should be enough to restrict movement and cause him to limp the rest of his life and I'm not sure how much bacta and Force healing it would take to prevent it. That's before we even get into whether there's enough left of his muscles to repair. Lightsaber fights should be absolutely terrifying and there should be a lot more Jedi with life altering injuries and the injuries themselves should be absolutely immense. Nobody who ever survived being struck by a lightsaber at full power should ever be the same again.
Cashier: Ummm sir? Ma'am? Mx Thembo? This is a Tim Horton's.
#lightsabers#anakin skywalker#asajj ventress#star wars#star wars medical weirdness#plasma#plasma weapons#anakin's scar#qui gon jinn#attack of the clones#sw aotc#clone wars#clone wars 2003#sw medicine#force healing#medicine#overanalyzing#lightsaber duels#sw tpm#the phantom menace#GL said fuck physics#and we just followed along with him like ducklings#thermodynamics#yikes
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Random Thoughts during The Clone Wars Movie:
*Full discretion: I’ve never watched this before. I’ve watched the series (some arcs I’ve watched an embarrassing number of times). I’ve heard people bitch about this being terrible, so I’m excited about it! Here we go!
*Clone radio chatter… Hmm…
*I find it odd that the Jedi would help Jabba the Hutt, but I’ll let it pass. Oh, but of course it’s Palpatine’s idea. Oh, trade routes, blah, blah, blah. Of course, it’s political.
*Wullf Yularen looks so young. Wow. All that dark brown hair and lack of wrinkles (or maybe the lack of wrinkles has to do with the primitive CGI).
*I love how Anakin and Obi-Wan argue like an old married couple. Like, dude… you’re being very, VERY passive aggressive. “Well, it wasn’t MY idea!”
*I’ve never really understood why folks always pet R2-D2’s head. Everyone does it. Literally everyone. Is it because he’s cute, or does he have some sort of circuitry up there that allows him to feel? Both?
*Through all my Ahsoka simping, I don’t talk enough about how much I truly love, LOVE Obi-Wan Kenobi. I adore Obi-Wan Kenobi. He’s such a bad ass. He seems like a guy that should be reading a book quietly in private library some place while sipping tea, and yet here he is out in the galaxy just slaying.
*Why is Anakin being the voice of reason here!? No! He’s right. It absolutely isn’t a good idea to bring a padawan learner into battle like that. It’s war. They’re literally children. You’re making them child soldiers. Stop it! Quit being crazy!
*Holy shit! Ahsoka is so tiny! Obi-Wan is like, “A youngling!?” Oh! Squee! She’s so ridiculously small! Ugh, they should have given the little thing Jedi robes... Poor little ‘Soka!
*Ooo! I didn’t know Ventress was in this. Maybe I did? I don’t know.
*I love Rex. When referring to Ahsoka for the first time, he’s like, “who is this child?”
*Hey! Rex and Ahsoka are having that same conversation from Rebels almost:
Rex says, “In my book, experience outranks everything.” Then Ahsoka goes, “Well if experience outranks everything, then I better start getting some.” Cute. For the record, Rex, she’s definitely going to outrank you… later.
*Obi-Wan is always so quick to surrender. He’s going to choose to charm/ sweet-talk/whore his way out of violence and/ or buy time every time.
*Yikes! Ahsoka f*^%s up royally when attempting to set those charges on that shield generator. She’s just a baby, so you can’t be too mad at her for f*^%ing up like that as she’s really got no business on a battlefield in the first place honestly. “Sorry!” Don’t be sorry, Ahsoka. It’s not your fault.
*Obi-Wan sipping tea. I love to see it.
*That conversation that Anakin has with Ahsoka about her making it as his padawan is so sweet. Then, they start playing Ahsoka’s theme… how adorable!
*Yoda says, “To let go of his pupil, a greater challenge this will be. Master this, Skywalker must.” I get Yoda’s angle here. Anakin’s arduous issues with attachment need to be addressed. It didn’t seem to matter much in the end though. I’d say he did let go of Ahsoka. It was his irrational fear of losing Padme that got him (that and old Palpatine being a manipulative cocksplat).
*The council sending Obi-Wan to make a deal with Jabba because he’s such a smooth talker.
*Wow. A bunch of alien heads on a gurney… This is a kids’ movie.
*Jabba calls his child a “punky muffin.” Interesting. What do the Hutts know of muffins?
*Do monasteries usually have detention levels?
*Holy shit, Ahsoka! A protocol droid calls her a servant girl, and she nearly slices it in half! Not that I don’t appreciate the moment of feminist rage, I do, but, hey, it’s okay there, spunky! Chill. You’ll be a Jedi… well, maybe… jury is still out on that one.
*So, I am 40 minutes in, and I’m trying to figure out why Ahsoka got so much vitriolic hate when people first watched this. She’s clearly stubborn, impatient, reckless, slightly obnoxious and a little arrogant, but she’s just a baby. She’s like 14 here, right? I think? She’s no more annoying than any other teenager would be.
I’m assuming that I’m not being bias here because I fell in love with Ahsoka in Rebels and she can do no wrong in my eyes, but I don’t think that I am? So, what was it? Did folks just have their drawers bunched up so tight about canon breaking or whatever? Could they not overlook her being a typical teenaged turd in this? Was it just because she is a girl?
*Ahsoka already has auntie vibes at 14. IYKYK.
*How dare Ventress force choke Rex! I love his resolve to not do what she says. Oh. Jedi mind trick… never mind.
*OMG! Ahsoka called the droidekas “Rolling death balls.” I can’t.
*Um… aside from “Ahsoka’s Theme” which always brings me joy when I hear it because… Ahsoka… this soundtrack leaves A LOT to be desired. What is this? This kind of reminds me of something I might have heard in The Power Rangers or that X-Men cartoon from the 90s.
*Obi-Wan flirts with everyone. This flirting with Ventress is cracking me up. Now Ventress is flirting back. Is this a ship!? It isn’t as fun as Codywan to me, but hey. Straight ships never are.
*I feel like everyone ends up on Tatooine at some point or another. It’s like a dust-bowl fly trap.
*Yeah. The soundtrack is f*^%ing awful.*Grits teeth*
*Bith Bands on Tatooine > Bith Bands on Coruscant.
*This queer-coded Hutt bothers me. I know I’ve seen him in The Clone Wars, and I know that Filoni tried to sell me on the fact that he was with Sy Snootles, but he’s clearly meant to be a flamboyantly queer, and I’m miffed.
The one constant with homosexual/ queer-coded characters is that we’re ALWAYS the f*^%ing bad guy. Do we make great bad guys? Compelling bad guys? Probably. Gays will go scorched-earth if the occasion warrants it. But, why?! Why must we always be bad? We’re not all bad! Most of us are awesome.
*He’s a southern gay, too. Damn. I just picture him in a swanky gay bar in Atlanta some place hitting on, like, the youngest twink in the room. He probably drives a luxury sedan and is paying for all of the twink’s drinks. Somebody’s getting laid tonight!
*What is up with that feather hat on this queer Hutt’s head? Oh, honey, no…. Why? Why? Why? Filoni should feel shame for this.
*And, what’s going on with that Twi-lek dancer back behind him to the left all but twerking? Get it, girl! Get it! Twerk it!
*Padme getting herself into some shit.
*Okay, Ahsoka calling R2 “artooey” is a little annoying… still not annoying enough to hate her guts.
*I can’t get over this stupid Hutt! Goddammit. Why doesn’t he gurgle and speak Huttese like the rest of the Hutts? Why does he sound like a giant slug from Georgia?! Why, Filoni, why!?
*Awww! Anakin putting his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder at sunset, and she so stinking cute and small!
*There goes Count Dooku with his force lightning. Force lightning is one of those powers that I wish I had. No. I’d want force storm. To hell with playing around, I want to just lift my hand up and an entire room of enemies drop dead… that was always my favorite power in KOTOR. Just brutal. But, I need to stop. I’m being an evil gay.
*Hold up! Is this Hutt RUNNING a swanky gay bar on Coruscant!? FFS… Ziro shame. Absolutely none….
*Sigh* The luxury sedan is the Star Wars version of a black Cadillac CT5 with white leather interior and a wood grained trim, by the way. He barely fits into it because he’s a goddamned space slug, but he manages. He smokes cheap cigarettes, but only drinks from the top shelf. He has an army of twinks… he won’t remember the name of the one he’s getting wasted tonight... Dammit!
*Dude! Anakin! SMH. He just waltzes into Jabba’s palace and goes, “where’s Ahsoka?” You literally JUST SAW DOOKU’S HOLO OF HER ASS GETTING KICKED BY THREE DROIDS! So… you should have found her before you did anything else. Goddammit man, don’t be an idiot!
*You bring back the slugglet, but Jabba is going to kill your asses anyway (no, not really, we know y’all survive).
*Padme saving the day through diplomacy as Padme does.
*Final thought: it wasn’t as bad as I’d feared.
#star wars#ahsoka tano#the clone wars#count dooku#anakin skywalker#padme amidala#chancellor palpatine#obi wan kenobi#captain rex#asajj ventress#wullf yularen#r2d2#tatooine#jabba the hutt
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TRYING THIS AGAIN PLEASE WORK
okay so bear with me on this idea bc it’s probably not gonna make sense but i really hope it does- so Anakins been staying home more often to test it out right? And one of the things he decides he’s gonna do is finally fix the finicky lock on the door of their laundry room. It locks from both the outside and inside but sometimes it gets sticky and obiwan is getting very tired of having almost been locked in, it’s also the kind of door that shuts on it’s own bc idk weight distribution and shit- anyway Obi’s at work and he’s working on the door with Artoo hanging out beside him. He’s got a screwdriver shoved under the door to keep it open bc the stand for it came off years ago according to Obi. Hes been making good progress until something gets stuck and he has to get up and sift through his toolbox for just the right thing. While he does, Artoo decides he’s very interested in that screwdriver sticking out from under the door. Anakins jot paying any attention bc hes too focused looking until he hears something clatter and turns only to realize too late that the door is swinging shut and Artoo is scampering out of the way into the hall leaving the door to slam shut with a deafening click of the lock and Anakins heart stops. Suddenly he’s 13 all over again getting shoved into the basement closet by Palpatine bc somehow something is his fault like it always is and now hes stuck in the dark room where the light doesn’t work, screaming his throat raw as Palpatine leaves the house and who knows when he’ll be back or when he’ll let Anakin out. He doesn’t even realize that hes banging on the door and screaming or choking on his tears. Distantly in his mind he knows he could probably somehow get the door open but hes too panicked to be able to and he can barely breathe in the stuffy room. He cries so hard he exhausts himself and he curls up on the floor sobbing and whimpering as Artoo scratches on the door from outside. It’s hours later when Obiwan gets home, calling out for Anakin until he see Artoo at his feet meowing insistently until Obiwan follows with a confused expression only to be led to the laundry room where Artoo paws and meows at the door. Obiwan frowns and unlocks the door after a bit of jiggling to find his darling boy curled up with tears down his face, hair in knots from where’s he’s pulled at it, and he’s still shaking. He manages to croak out obi’s name brokenly and Obi’s on him in seconds scooping him up and rushing him upstairs, after a long while Anakin explains what happened and Obiwan has never been more angry at a door or Artoo even though it’s not the kitties fault but he’s having a moment okay? Anyway this may have been me projecting my fear onto Anakin but OH WELL-
OH MY GOD!!
Locking people in closets is definitely a punishment that people have to endure. I just finished listening to Carrie Fisher's Wishful Drinking and that was apparently a punishment her mother had to endure. Which is pretty horrific, honestly.
ANYWAY. You were right that this is definitely an angsty ask. I have a feeling that once Anakin is out of the laundry room, he wants to comfort Artoo as well and Obi-Wan is just like "uh, he's the reason you were LOCKED IN THE CLOSET" But he's trying not to say that because you're right. He knows it's not Artoo's fault really, but Artoo put his boy into that situation and that is going to take some time to forgive.
Obi-Wan coming home to that! He would be so worried when he doesn't see Anakin right away and he's trying to get the door open 😭
Oh my heart...
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