got the posting anxiety bad tonight

Its May.

Okay so this is in the same AU I had last year its just changed and evolved while also being the exact same. Except now I have 15,000 words of it written, like 7,000 words of planning and lore and hours upon hours of research that I will be pointedly ignoring. Will be posting more stuff this month about the AU and my hopes and dreams for it

Also slight art improvement check? I’ll put their original mermaid designs below the cut.

It’s Marinette as a mermaid and … its not Adrien or Chat Noir but a third worse thing (Catwalker but in the purest manifestation of it being a curse and not who he wants to be) I will be making designs for mer!Ladybug, and mer!Adrien as its own thing later on.

Okay if you want to indulge me look below the cut

Old mermaid designs first. I am going to be talking about my design thoughts, thoughts and ramblings about this AU and what I’ve been up to. You have been warned

As you can see, some things have changed but neither design I hated, I just wanted to go further with it.

My brain is quite specific about mermaids and how I want them to generally look. I wanted to distinguish biological merfolk from transformed humans by having them being anatomically different. So Adrien has a vertical tail instead which is also way faster underwater. His transformation is quite distressing for him and very chaotic. Of course when he accepts it he’s not so raggedy.

Marinette similarly avoids her life as a mermaid by becoming human and I wanted her mermaid design to hint toward her fascination with humans. She wears a top she fashioned from human fabric she found in a sunken merchant vessel. In general all other merfolk either forgo clothes or wear things fashioned from materials available to them. There’s deep fear of humans and human things so even though human clothes are available to them (off dead bodies but…. Whatever) they choose to difference themselves as much as possible. The same taboos don’t exist for them and their bodies are already adapted from the temperature of their environment. Adrien has stray bits of netting and seaweed on him because he’s not exactly the best at controlling his speed and often crash’s through fishing nets and patches of seaweed resulting in stuff being caught on him.

A lot of their designs are still being worked but I’ve definitely pushed them the right direction!

On to the AU. You might have seem me cryptically talk about something I’m writing the past few weeks. This is because it’s been in my brain since last May and been on and off writing it since then. I decided I’d talk about it once May came back around but and then when I finished writing it, start posting sneak peaks and more spoilery art until it was fully edited and I felt confident in it to post with an aim for it to finish posting once May rolled around again. Oh god.

It’s set in the late 1700s in a fictional version of France that’s actually fragmented over a bunch of islands. I have done more fashion research than I ever thought I’d do and in the end we will still be taking creative license but know I do know what they actually wore! I ALSO did a butt tonne of research about sailing ships and turns out they are super complicated and now I know too much and yet too little still about them. It should be super fun and action packed if I can manage. Have some really good scenes already in my head I know you’ll love. We’re already three ships battle deep and I’ve only written four chapters. (It chills out for a bit after that)

This is entirely self-indulgent by the way. I’m writing this for me, you guys are just a bonus. I literally don’t care as long as it satiates my rabid need for the fic that only lives in my brain at the moment. Saying that, I do want to put my best foot forward.

The next thing I will be posting for this is their human forms and more blabblerings about that. For I am insane and all.

I can explain!

Media The Artful Dodger (PSR)

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Cute

I marched home with such purpose you'd think I was working on military orders, I unlocked the old wooden door and slammed it behind me as I entered the house and office. 

"JACK!" I yelled  at the top of my lungs and immediately I heard him scamper,  

He's in the office. 

So I marched through the house losing my gloves and hat as I did until I spotted him peaking out the storeroom sheepishly but the moment he saw me turn the corridor he jumped back inside to hide 

"Jack you get out here this minute!" I yelled banging on the storeroom door 

"Uhhh So sorry Madam he's not here" Jack said from inside clearly faking a different voice 

"I know it you jack, strangely I saw you! and you know I recognize my husband's voice" but I kicked it open hearing him yelp in fear as I made my way into the store room and he hid behind a shelf, I tried going behind the shelf and he just moved around it, we looped around every shelf in the store room before he managed to get back to the door and scattered out and across to the theatre "Ohh no you don't!" I warn "You get that grubby little blonde butt back here!" I yelled running into the theatre and locking the door behind me "Jack"

"Ohh Yes, Hello y/n I uhhhh I must not have heard you" he gulped but I kept approaching "Maybe you uhhh wanna go get a nice calming cup of tea?" he suggested but I kept coming backing him up against the table "Y/n. Sweetie. Darling. absolutely light of my life" he explained slowly climbing around the table to put it between us "I can explain!" he yelped 

"Alright. One chance. Explain your damn self"

"Well..."He began but I caught his eyes flick to the prep room door his only escape from me and foolishly he went for it but I was too quick and I grabbed him by his ear "AHhh! Owww! Owww! owwwww!" he whined as I tugged him back to the table 

"Go on then" 

".... I have no explanation." 

"I didn't think you did." 

"You it help me at all if I said I was sorry?"

"You can try."

"I'm sorry y/n I really am"

"Umm humm" I murmured glancing to the floor so he moved to his knees and wrapped his arms around my legs

"I'm sorry, darling. I really am sorry. Please forgive me"

"Don't let it happen again." I warn picking him up to his feet by his ear "Because If I see you've done it again I will not hesitate to use your lovely sharp tools to remove it."

"it is only jam-"

"Jack. I'm letting you go with a warning I really wouldn't push your luck"

"Your right. I'm sorry y/n" 

IMPOSSIBLE? WHATS THAT?

Impossible doesn't exist in my reality. I am the best to ever do it. Whatever they do i do it million times better. I am the blueprint. I fully understand that my mind is infinite and the world is just a mirror. Hence anything is possible. I do not doubt if something's possible or not because to me all things are possible. I am truly limitless. I have no limits. I am incomparable. I am unmatched. There's no one who compares to Me. Every little detail about me is so lovable and admirable. I simply dream high and achieve even higher. Everything is way too easy for me. They didn't know perfection until they saw me. I exceed everyone's expectations all the time. I am perfect from every pov. I am literally flawless.. I am once in a lifetime. It's Way too easy for someone to be obsessed with me. I am nothing like they've ever seen before. I invoke deep, intense emotions in people and make them feel like in utopia. I am the embodiment of first love. I am the embodiment of pure art. I am pure perfection. All I do is literally win. I raise the bar higher than ever. I am the blueprint. Nothing can match me. No one can match me, I'm just too perfect. I just keep going higher and higher. There is no peak to me. Everytime I just keep getting a billion times better. I am literally my best self. I couldn't imagine being someone else, all the beautiful qualities I have are just too unique and perfect. I am mentally, physically, spiritually, professionally perfect 24/7. I am literally perfect in every single way. I am beyond perfection. I literally have no flaws. The world hasn't seen something like me before. There could never be someone like me in the next billion years and there was and is no one like me. I am too unique. I offer things to the world no one does. I don't need to fix or change anything about myself. I am perfect in every way and I couldn't be anyone else and no one could be like me. I am everyone's first choice and top priority. I am literally so chosen all the time. I am the most special person people are so afraid to lose me. People literally throw the best opportunities at me because they know I deserve it the most. I never fail. I only win. Success begs to stay with me. Success and luck is my best friend. I have everything i need to be successful already. I always look best, feel best and achieve the best. I am out of everyone's league. I am everyones favourite. I am unforgettable. The vibe and the hype it creates is something unforgettable. I feel so nostalgic yet new. I am so one of a kind. I stand out way too easily. I only accept the princess treatment I deserve. I am love and abundance. I give a vibe like no other. You can never find someone like me because there's no one who is quite as perfect as me. I am simply unmatched. It's a fact not an opinion. It is so hard to not love me. It's so hard not to choose me

People beg to give me all of their love, attention, money, opportunities and happiness. Why am I so perfect? I am so limitless. It's impossible to not fall in love with me whether it's romantic or platonic. I am 100% confident that I'm successful in every way and I always will be. My beauty, success, and talents know no bounds. Everything works out in my favor. Everything happens better than i expected. Everything goes a billion times better than I expect it to go. Every day I become the best and the best version of myself. I am so amazing. The world is literally my oyster. Everything is equally easy to manifest. I literally am THE BEST. I Am so heavenly and beyond perfection

There's no limit for me, doubts, fears, negativity, competition, external validation, laziness doesn't exist at all. Only good things happen to me. Good things are literally begging to happen to me all day every day. I don't chase, I attract. Only the BEST most perfect opportunities chase me. I always make my future self proud all the damn time. My mere existence leaves people speechless and leaves their body with sheer goosebumps. I am nothing like the world has ever seen. Without a doubt they know I'm the best and no one does it like me. It only keeps getting better and better from here. I truly am beyond anyone's imagination…a dream come true.

2023 is my year and it only keeps getting better and better.

What made you start shipping Kingsai? Omg I love them so much and I’d love to hear your thoughts about them too!! Such an underrated ship, thank you for your art of them😭💖

sorry if its a bit clumsy

anyways they're open and honest with each other. it's a rare thing to see when it comes to them (or ngl opm in general, there’re always roles to play) because king no matter how much he craves it cannot fight his fears and let's be real cowardice. but he's getting there. ngl i was very proud of him chapters before cosmic garou appeared. going out of his way to do his best while waiting for saitama. or when he went on a little adventure going from one dojo to another admitting to having little to no powers time and time again. he really grew on me with time

meanwhile no one gets past saitama's front. genos succeeds in a way but with latest wc chapter it's easy to tell that in the end he did have a really spotless and polished image of saitama. which’s gonna hurt them both so bad later i can’t wait to see it

back to kingsai. i like how saitama's presence or few of his stupid silly words of advice is all it takes for king to deflate like a balloon and feel better once again. he literally went from loosing it all to sitting there smiling a little look at him

overall idk i like them both but i love saitama to no end. he's endlessly kind but selfish as any other person, wise and goofy. he's Saitama The Man but sometimes he's silly and a little petty and awkward and lacks self awareness and it's always a pleasure to see him still being appreciated for who he is, especially by king

i think that’s the major reason why kingsai grew on me. king actually cares about saitama and the feeling is truly mutual so idk i sleep better at night knowing they've got each other

also wanted to mention this specific chapter cause i love it a lot and saitama's honest and open interest, king's confession and overall the whole setting felt so fresh and surreal it peaked my interest and is so my favourite

Did you know that I write a lot about memory, skunks, uploading consciousness, political maneuvering, skunks, aliens, skunks, queerness, identity, emotions, and skunks? It's true! I'm very proud of them. You can read books best described as

Given the chance to live forever in a world not built for death, what do you do?

Given the inability to forget—all your joys and sorrows, all your foundational memories and traumas—how do you cope?

Given the ability to create a full copy of yourself—down to every single one of those memories—to do as they will, to individuate and live out their own forever lives, or merge back down and meld their memories with your own, what paths do you take?

and

If I had a nickel for every time I accidentally wrote something with heavy plural undertones that I hadn't intended but nonetheless made me doubt my identity, I'd have two nickels! Which isn't a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.

The Post-Self Cycle is a tetralogy of meta-furry¹, gender-weird sci-fi books. From the very beginning of the consensual dream of the System, the members of the Ode clade, all forks from the same core personality, have dealt with fear each in their own way. Do they search for greater ways to control their lives? Do they hunt for yet deeper emotional connection? Do they hone their art to the finest point?

From roots in political turmoil to the building of a new society, the story is there to be found, and the Bălan clade is there to tell it.

Digital versions come with illustrations from five artists — Iris Jay, Jade Laclede, Floe, CadmiumTea, and johnny a.

Available as paperbacks, ebooks, and free to read in the browser. Omnibus ebook and illustrated hardcovers coming soon!

Book I — Qoheleth

"All artists search. I search for stories, in this post-self age. What happens when you can no longer call yourself an individual, when you have split your sense of self among several instances? How do you react? Do you withdraw into yourself, become a hermit? Do you expand until you lose all sense of identity? Do you fragment? Do you go about it deliberately, or do you let nature and chance take their course?"

With immersive technology at its peak, it's all too easy to get lost. When RJ loses emself in that virtual world, not only must ey find eir way out, but find all the answers ey can along the way.

And, nearly a century on, society still struggles with the ramifications of those answers.

Features the bonus novella Gallery Exhibition: A Love Story.

Madison finds a way to address not only the joys and terrors of integrated simulation technology, but also tackles questions of gender and identity while telling a pretty gripping mystery story in the process.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Book II — Toledot

"I am saying that you trust me — really trust me — and that life in the System is more subtle than I think you know. You let me into your dreams, my dear, and your dreams influence this place as much as, if not more than, your waking mind."

No longer bound to the physical, what lengths should one go to in a virtual world to ensure the continuity of one's existence?

Secession. Launch. Two separations from two societies, two hundred years apart. And through it all, so many parallels run on so many levels that it can be dizzying just keeping up. The more Ioan and Codrin Bălan learn, the more it calls into question the motivations of even those they hold most dear.

Madison Scott-Clary . . . trusts her readers to be able to understand a completely different culture and existence than our own, and makes it compelling to do so.

— Payson R. Harris

Book III — Nevi'im

"Do you know how old I am, Dr. Brahe? I am 222 years old, a fork of an individual who is...who would be 259 years old. I am no longer the True Name of 2124. Even remembering her feels like remembering an old friend. I remember her perfectly, and yet I do not remember how to be earnest. I do not know how to simply be."

The cracks are showing.

Someone picked up on the broadcast from the Dreamer Module and as the powers that be rush to organize a meeting between races, Dr. Tycho Brahe is caught up in a whirlwind of activity. And as always, when the drama goes down, there is Codrin Bălan to witness it.

When faced with eternity in a new kind of digital world, however, old traumas come to roost, and those who were once powerful are brought to their knees

Growth is colliding with memory, and the cracks are showing.

These characters are so well realized, so fleshed out, that I can’t help but to gush about how their interactions with each other inform the central plot of the book.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Book IV — Mitzvot

"To be built to love is to be built to dissolve. It is to be built to unbecome. It is to have the sole purpose of falling apart all in the name of someone else."

Even the grandest of stories can feel small and immediate when it's just one person's life.

One of the most well-known names from one of the most well-known clades on the System, the avatar of political machinations and cool confidence, has been brought low. With help coming only from Ioan Bălan and the most grudging of support from her cocladists, all True Name has left to save herself is the ability to change.

Features the bonus novella Selected Letters.

Mitzvot drills down deeper into the lives of its characters and shows us that between the world-shattering projects that change the very understanding of the System, they’re just people trying to live their lives with love and purpose.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Keep an eye out for Clade, an anthology of short stories from nine authors set in the universe, coming later this year.

----------

¹ That is, about members of the furry subculture rather than just furry characters.

More art for Wondergøtten crossover and Bible accurate Dr Facilier. Concept of Truila outfit that match with The card holder

Have a reference from Turbo outfit concept specially Doctor Vøodoo’s one made by the creator of Wondergøtten @danisha-tdh ( I’ll give a credit to the creator of this concept every time 👍🏻 )

Dr Facilier kinda have a little bit of customize because I never see him in full version as The Wheel of Fortune. So, I find everything I can about his design mixing him with The Princess and the Frog’s style

————————

Also, have a little fact here about how it choose Tarot card for each of the characters. Mostly I picking it from what Tarot meaning is match with the characters backstory ↷

( sorry for my bad English too </33 )

Truila as Wheel of Fortune : Journey through life’s cycles, turning points, and the beauty of embracing change. All this meaning is match with her backstory about how Truila’s life changed completely after she hacked her own game. It’ll never back to the same but she need to live with it no matter what. It’s turning good or even worse she can’t design it

Cassie Kane as The Emperor : Leadership, power, authority, and success in the material world. It’s a good describe words of what Truila has become after disguised herself as Cassie. When it’s the first time she’s winning, Cassie quickly full with ego and doing anything to win again and again. Stuck in the short joy of wining like a drug… in other words she has become what Turbo has been

Richard as The Tower : Danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation. Both of the twins were at the peak of their lives before Truila make it all fall apart and make their game need to be unplugging. They not even have a chance to prepare anything it’s like just a blink every thing their have is all gone. Sadly they’re not going to the “ higher learning and liberation” part yet

Rogers as The Chariot : Determination, willpower, and the ability to overcome obstacles on our path to personal growth and success. After The twins lost everything they need to stand by their own self living the new hard life being homeless for over 10 years. But their have a hard determination on one thing… make Truila pay for what she have done ( bonus : The twins are not specific about which one is the older or younger brother but indeed Rogers is giving the older brother energy by take care a lot of stuff. So, this card might be match for him )

Octane as The Hermit : Will, he’s actually not my character but he’s my friend Oc @-itschr1spy but I just gonna describe a bit about how he match with The hermit. Octane is depressed guy his body and code has be ruled by the effects of Turbo-time getting unplugged. So, he’s match with The reversed Meaning. Loneliness, paranoia, isolation, bring reclusive, withdrawal, anti-social, restrictive, paralysed by fear. And why it’s need to be reversed? Well, as I remember what my friend say about concept of Octane he’s the opposite of Turbo ( maybe? )

Slenderverse/Creepypasta headcanons

Greetings! This post will explain the canon I created to work with within this blog. You can check out my works in here (link will be added later). Enjoy!

TW: Topics such as cults, limbs being chopped off as well as heavy mentions of mental illnesses will be mentioned. Beware, NONE of this characters are real. This is merely my interpretation of them.

HINTS: Prowler, Mary, Doctor Crow and Saint Matriarch are my original characters. Don't steal them.

If you have read my dating headcanons, you already had a sneak peak into how this universe works. In this post, we will go deeper into SlenderMan and his proxies, as well as other creepypastas.

First off, there is no Mansion in this AU. It's every man for themselves. However, there are several safehouses for the proxies that are marked with the Slender Symbol, so maybe it's for the best if you run as fast as you can if you ever find yourself in one. They don't take kindly to strangers.

SlenderMan hunts for people every 20 or so years, and he hunts for them in large groups. It's always when his older proxies get on their 40s, maybe 50s, that he seeks for younger folks. The sweet flames of fear and rebellion slowly dissipate as the years go by, and Slender needs those strong emotions to survive. Said emotions that his older proxies do not carry anymore, at least not in the same extent as younglings do.

Proxies age but said aging gets progressively slower in their 40s. SlenderMan still keeps them around to prolong their suffering. The misery of those souls keep him entertained and strong.

Due to this we have 2 generations; the original ones and their "legacy". Legacy proxies are people selected to replace the original ones, and often they are very similar to their personality. They're not exactly copycats, they still have their own "art".

There are 3 stages that come after becoming a proxy; the first one is called incubation and it's when the Slender Sickness settles in. Loss of memory, coughing, sleep deprivation, nightmares, hallucinations, aggressive mood are all primary symptoms that can easily be mistaken for some other illness. In severe cases, a fever that makes you feel like you're going to die takes place. A proxy who suffered from this was Prowler, whose fever worsened the hallucinations that came with the sickness, and led to the death of his best friend.

The second stage is depersonalization, also called the proxy state, and some people never leave this stage, such as post-MH Masky and Kate "The Chaser". At this phase, you might not remember what you did during the time your brain was split in two self's. This can last for days, weeks, months or years (in severe cases). Like I said, it is often that some proxies never leave this stage. The more time it passes, the chances of your real self to return decrease drastically.

And the last and most rare is the third stage, called convalescence. It takes a lot of an individual's determination and mental strength to get to this phase, for it is when they have complete control during their proxy state. They are themselves 100% of the time, and prime examples of this are Hoodie, Toby and Mary. It can take years or months depending on the individual's self preservation. People in this stage have accepted their fate and no longer fight it, because they believe there is nothing left to come back to.

Except Mary, who managed to become the first proxy of her legacy to run away and survive.

There is a hidden stage, but I wouldn't call it a stage personally. SlenderMan has control over his proxies no matter which stage they are, and if he deems necessary, he can possess their bodies to "Kill Mode" and absolutely nothing will stop them in this state of mind. Fires, bullets, or even stabbing/cutting can slow them down but they will stop at nothing until their objective is complete. It is extremely hard to kill proxies but not impossible.

I already said this, but SlenderMan feeds off strong emotions, especially negative ones. It's what keeps him alive. This is why he always goes after younglings whose lives were unfair to them; that fire which burns inside them attracts him like a moth to the moon.

Now, on the matter of creepypastas, they have absolutely nothing to do with SlenderMan or his proxies. They are just serial killers who could have been proxies if SlenderMan had caught them. That doesn't mean he hasn't met some of them, which he has - examples being Jeffrey and Helen a.k.a "The Bloody Painter" - but Slender let them think he had let them go, while stalking them through the woods or even sending his proxies after them.

Moments such as Helen drawing Prowler, who was unaware the painter had noticed his stalking. Or Mary facing off Jeff in a convenience store, which costed a lot of damage to the store owner.

Or Hoodie meeting off the notorious cannibal, Eyeless Jack. Said encounter almost costed Hoodie his life, had Masky not arrived to save him from the creature.

So, as you can see, proxies and creepypasta's do not go well together. They're like ice cream and meat.

But not all creepypasta's are serial killers, we also have the hauntings, such as Sally or Ben. Sally is a vengeful spirit so beware her kind and playful demeanor, she might just turn you into one of her eternal best friends.

Ben is a hard ghost to get rid of, but not entirely impossible. If you're lucky and you haven't ran out of time yet, a local witch might help you with protection spells and a throughout cleanse.

I should explain this better; Creepypastas have subclasses. The serial killers, the hauntings, the cryptics and the Higher Beings such as Zalgo or Saint Matriarch.

The cryptics are creepypastas who are hard to identify what their real species are. Infamous SlenderMan, Laughing Jack, Jason the Toymaker and Eyeless Jack are part of this section. They are all highly dangerous and most encounters end up with the affected person's death.

L.Jack and Jason have preferences; young children or teenagers are their area of expertise. They will kill any adults who get in their way or find themselves some place they should not have found. Eyeless Jack prefers adults due to their fully developed kidneys.

Now we must also talk about Zalgo or Saint Matriarch. Some witches work with Zalgo, but he is not for the faint hearted. He's a fairly dangerous and powerful demon, so beware. He doesn't care for creepypasta's or proxies, and none of them are stupid enough to summon him. This Prince of Hell just minds his own business.

Saint Matriarch is a sensitive issue. She belongs in both cryptic and Higher Beings subclasses due to the simple reason that no one is 100% sure of what she is. Her cult will tell you she's a goddess while outsiders consider her a cryptic. Her cult is, however, dangerous to anyone they consider is helping creepypasta's or works for SlenderMan. They have support of ex-military on their side.

Doing a quick rewind to the creepypasta's, they also fight between themselves if they find another one in their hunting zone. For example, Doctor Crow and Eyeless Jack share a similar pattern of hunting for victims (Except the part one is a cryptic while the other is a perfectly looking doctor).

There's also those creeps who simply hate the others. Helen absolutely despises some creepypasta's, like Jeff, because of how messy they are. They could never make art out of murder like he does. Nathan will always hate them because of what they are; murderers with no moral code or dignity.

With all of this said; some creepypasta's are easier to face than others. Killers such as Liu and Nathan are fairly light to deal with, since they won't kill everyone in their way and can easily pass as a normal human. Then we have killers such as Vince the Toymaker or Jeffrey.

Careful with who you trust. You never know.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

After cooling down a bit (took an entire day to stop crying here and there) I can confidenly say Mob Pyscho 100 is a MUST watch show in your lifespan. No matter where you at right now or how old you are, I believe this story has this life-changing power that will always have something great and heart-warming to offer and bring a new perspective of things for everyone. Not only because it’s one of the most fulfilled adaptations from an original work where the dedication, love and passion of the studio radiates throught the screen to the viewers or how unique the animation is along side an amazing soundtrack and openings; what makes mob psycho this special and meaningful to so many people is the mature approaching and management of its backbone themes: change, empathy, humility, acceptance and connections. A well-puted, charming, sensible and personal coming of age story about a little kid who in fear of his nature and rejection shut himself from his marvels and rights to feel freely, meets a broken and loner adult starving for meaning to his existence, both complementing each other so well in a lasting but hopeful journey of personal grown to become just a good person. As the character progress or regress steps during seasons this finale left in such a positive and recomforting note, manteining all the references and cohesion to all of its characters’ personal themes, remaining true to themselves to the very end: you’re the only one, you’re imperfect but complete on your own, and to live to the fullest and to be a person of well you have to know and accept yourself. Mob and Reigen finally coming to terms with their falsehood exposing their helpless and genuinest selfs to each other, and both giving to the other acceptance of what they saw, them as whole. Reigen lies let Mob enter his life and Mob’s powers made him who he is; without this facades and worst they wouldn’t have meet and fundamentally changed their lifes, so there’s always something good to take of everything and keep on. Thanks to the positive impact they made into the world and all the amazing people they let in in their lifes they’re able to change, because it is the love of their surroundings they’re learning to love themselves.

Mob Psycho left me with a similar taste in my mouth like Everything Everywhere All at Once did. I met the show in a very delicate moment of my life where all paths were uncertain but promising. It’s fondness and softness dropped in my year just in the moment I needed them the most ("I decided to consider my feelings more, and you have to pick up the things that are important" altered my brain chemistry forever may say), as a gentle hand rubbing my back every week, it sure had a positive influence in my own healing process and rehabilitation. I’m grateful to have experienced this work of art in this timeline and it will stick up with me as one of those special and precious stories you hold close to the heart, truly. No words exaggerating in here, I consider Mob Psycho 100 peak fiction and one of my favorites of all time, and Reigen is my babygirl.

I was scrolling through my YouTube feed, looking for silly videos to watch when I was suddenly recommended this video titled "Today is the Day". The title and thumbnail peaked my interest, so I decided to check it out.

I had no idea what I was expecting. It seemed just like someone's art project, I skimmed through it and didn't fully understand what I had seen. I then decided to watch the video from start to finish and it ended up being quite disturbing yet somewhat wholesome at the same time? It's a weird feeling to describe. To most people, they won't understand it, but from what I can tell, there's a lot more going on in this video than just someone playing with foam for 2 and a half minutes. There's no dialogue, no text. The video plays like a PowerPoint presentation, a slideshow of different images with some slightly melancholic music playing in the background. But it tells a story.

I think this video can be interpreted in many different ways, depending on whoever watches it. For me, it shows that the man is unhappy with his own life, and feels like he is "broken" and needs to be "fixed". He is trying to change himself because he thinks that will bring him happiness. When he looks at the computer screen, it shows a knife, and it's telling him to cut out of a peice of himself. I think the picture of the blue sky symbolizes that if he does that then he will finally be happy.

He uses a pocket knife to cut out a huge chunk of himself. This doesn't help and only results in him feeling more depressed and out of touch with himself. He's become a former shell of himself.

The little foam people could represent parts of his older self coming back to "haunt" him, so that's why he fears them. They could be little peices of himself that he tried to reject.

I think he starts coming to terms and begins to accept himself. He starts to let go and embrace those traits of himself that he once believed were "negative", maybe because it made him feel "weak" or "inferior". The forks on the little foam people could represent devil horns.

The key and the clocks on the faces could mean that the man had the key to healing all along, it was time.

Eventually, he fully begins to embrace himself and becomes whole again, and that's what I think is happening when he is putting all the little foam peices back together. He learns to accept himself, and then the video ends.

This video is very unsettling yet comforting at the same time. I suggest you give it a watch if you haven't already and give your own thoughts about it, it's pretty interesting and honestly very creative. I'm not a religious person, but this video was recommended to me at a time where I feel like I needed it. It feels like a sign. Maybe not from any sort of "god", but rather the universe itself. I've been questioning myself quite a bit recently and it's too much of a coincidence. I'm trying to learn to accept and truly love myself, but just like with anything else, that requires time and patience. Be kind to yourself. 💚

the fact someone can be bullied over their views is definitely one that reflected a lot, like i mean we can view people as individuals though generally the main problem is once somebody shows signs of a mental condition people stop caring because they believe he's crazy. it's really sad since we don't exactly understand someone's character and imo it'd be nice if we can assume things aren't that binary for things that aren't objectively bad. i admit i have asd and social anxiety which had peaked in 2021 though i've been slowly overcoming that with friends who understand me but really for other people they did one mistake and it's the end of them and it's very disproportionate realising that from another pov and part of my goals are definitely not to think that in situations. i'm pretty prone to b&w thinking and i'm trying to overcome that and take things at a empathetic perspective but really there are cases where you don't know the person and make assumptions. so to someone who is neurodivergent i feel this so hard that it's a pretty intruding feeling when you fear about self-image and how you come across because it's easy to say you support neurodivergent people without recognizing the conditions or supporting them, even in the modern era we say we support people when they behave like us but what if they're not?

what if it took a long time to realise they did something wrong and get cancelled and it's their entire image and they're genuinely apologetic about it? it's something i reflected when i saw a twitter drama over someone being cancelled and bullied over a fic even after she genuinely apologized for that since the situation isn't always as clear cut. also people probably had bad experiences and they end up writing things that nobody can control (fics/art/proships) and nobody is there to tell them gently on how to have healthier outlets, all they face is jeers and cancellation. so looking at things on another perspective i realised how important it is not to think somebody is defined as the biggest mistake they did, of course this philosophy has its limits if someone refuses to acknowledge their faults and could not be talked to over it in which there is no point if they refuse to redeem. overall i wish people had a more empathetic approach on those kind of things though we're humans which is a perpetual weakness, us wanting to be right all the time is a problem since this doesn't allow us to take a breather and consider other solutions to a problem and it's refreshing once you acknowledge that unironically. as someone who had been diagnosed with that and struggling to have the cues for people i wish people took others with respect. idk i just wanted to vent about it after seeing a situation on twitter which did make me question about humanity, it was only a single fic of a inanimate insanity ship that led to em getting harrassed so disproportionately and i don't think people should be bullying em since it led to a breaking point, it happened, people only helped when she was at the verge of despair which is very depressing and hopefully we move forward from that.

Ultimate Ongoing Rofan Favorites in No Particular Order

((ongoing as in unfinished. some of these are on hiatus etc))

These are titles I've enjoyed from start to finish with no inhibitions and the ones I without fail always find myself looking forward to. People who are into rofan manhwa probably already know all of these, but I still wanted to put them in one place (:

1. A Stepmother's Märchen

What is there even to say anymore. Absolutely incredible story that does so much justice to all its themes and characters and that is drawn PHENOMENALLY. If you somehow still haven't read it PLEASE do. You won't regret it. Personally I think it doesn't get better than Stepmother's Märchen in this genre.

2. I Stan the Prince

This story brings me the most joy. I would say out of all of these I Stan the Prince has the best romance, i.e. dynamic between the two leads. I can't get enough of them and watching their relationship grow so tenderly is wonderful. Catch me giggling and kicking my feet alongside Angela, the protagonist, who by the way is incredibly lovable, it's impossible not to be fond of her. The art is another thing entirely - it's so obvious how loved this story is by how alive and full of endearing little details every single panel is. It just makes me feel warm inside.

3. A Wicked Tale of Cinderella's Stepmom

Best mom award goes to Mildred, my favorite rofan protagonist. She's in her forties, she's a dignified and wise noble lady, she was fully and seriously prepared to kill a man for hurting one of her daughters. I like the male lead but I'm also bitterly jealous of him because that should've been me. This is a story about women being awesome, and not in a superficial way!

4. Catherine’s Key to a Happy Life

I can't fully articulate why, but this series makes me think about Howl's Moving Castle. None of the characters are particularly similar, but something about the atmosphere makes me enchanted in the same way. I think Catherine could be a Ghibli protagonist.

Mysterious and lovely with an intriguing storyline. Chezare is one of the most charming male leads I've seen.

5. I Raised My Fiancé with Money

This one is new, but I can already tell it's most likely going to continue being very good. I don't have too much to say. The art is lovely and so is the very endearing male lead whose journey of overcoming his insecurity and low self-esteem is the center of the story right now. This manhwa's fashion game is on another level - Ilya never fails to look immaculate, and her throwing her seemingly neverending money around never gets old.

6. The Perks of Being an S-Class Heroine

Rofan with action! It can be silly and funny at one moment and thrilling at the other. The next season is looking to be amazing, taking everything that the series' been building up and realising it, and the story is already very fun and engaging. The "tower-regressor-S-class hunter" genre of manhwa has been little by little meshing with rofan lately and I think this is the peak of how well that can be done.

7. Loveless Heroine

Thai manga!!! Now THIS is what I call a historical romance. Loveless Heroine interacts with its setting constantly and is very thoughtful about the way it represents the time period it's set in. There are also some queer themes which I absolutely love! This story feels mature and grounded, and I can't get enough of it.

8. Surviving as a Maid

This series has such a soft, melancholic feeling to it. At times it's empty, a little sordid, but it's also full of beautiful moments that you remember for a long time after reading. There's a lot of longing for many different things and I would say quite a bit of grief. Ash is a very unique and relatable protagonist with her own fears, flaws and dreams, and I like how both big and small her life is. Surviving as a Maid also feels very grounded, but in a different way from Loveless Heroine.

TERRIFIER is such a weird beast of a film franchise. Not because the movies are deeply complicated or anything, they’re anything but. They just have me thinking about the length of what artist can make before a line gets drawn.

I believe that film makers shouldn’t have limits when crafting their films, because indeed, movies are an art form, and shouldn’t be policed. In most cases. I think it’s great that the director, after being turned away by other financial supporters due to a scene too gruesome, was able to find financial support eventually.

But at some point you gotta just question…why?

I remember earlier in the 3rd movies’ production, reports were pouring in that the fabled evil scene included a child. It’s a Christmas horror, you’d pretty much figure a child would be in harm’s way. And also giving the record Terrifier 2 set for just how unspeakably brutal it’s scenes can get…you begin to wonder. Plus the recent tweet going around about a scene so “insanely horrific” that it caused Art’s actor to vomit on set.

Now maybe that’s just bait. There’s plenty of people that find the bedroom scene in Terrifier 2 to be cartoonishly silly, while others ran from the theater with puke bags. (If you’re unfamiliar and want to look it up out of curiosity, please consider the level of gore you can handle. It’s not for beginners.) I remember it making my stomach sick on my first blind viewing, but finding it laughable on rewatches. In my opinion, that’s a positive thing. As tasteless as it is to some, it can still be enjoyed by plenty others. At the end of the day, it’s a work of art. And maybe this scene they’re hyping up will be no different. But again, if it involves a child instead of a grown person… it’s gonna be so much harder to get around.

Why even make it to begin with? Why let something that twisted in your mind get out into the world? Should self expression have a limit? Is there some ideas so ruthless we should bar them from being brought to life? Have the creator no humility? Do we need to submit Damion Leon for psychological help, or is it actually wicked cool that we’re letting his freak flag fly so boundless?

I want to say no. But I feel there should be a limit…when other people get involved. Unless you can find staff, stars, etc., as 100% engrossed in your project as you are, or it’s something you can make on your own…you should have to show some restraint…shouldn’t you…?

I’m mostly fearful for those involved on set, here in the real world. You’d imagine David Howard Thornton has an iron will by now, so it worries me to think what could have penetrated that. Again, if this horrific scene being brought up involved a child, they better put that kid through some serious therapy afterwards. I don’t care how good of an actor/tress they may be, or how little they’re actually used in place of prosthetics/robotics/etc practical effects. I can’t imagine the damage that could do to their psyche.

Maybe I just sound like the same people that complained when the Saw movies were at their peak in popularity. I can see that. Though those movies, while probably on the same scale to many, personally, are a huge step down from Terrifier. In terms of kills. Also they actually have, like, something to say? Most if not all the kills have a story reason. A meaning. Art the Clown just kinda shreds people because he feels like it. As far as we know. It’s thoughtless. Which makes just want to say why? more.

A lot of this post is based on hearsay. I know that. I guess we won’t know until Terrifier 3 releases. I don’t intend to catch it in theaters (mostly because I don’t know a single soul brave enough to attend it with me) but I will keep an eye out for its digital release, and the press surrounding it until then.

is it possible to request a reading for jungkook’s solo? what topics will touch or in what period it will be released? thank u in advance <3

sure can do!

Disclaimer: This reading is based on my experience and knowledge of tarot, it is not meant to be the absolute truth, as BTS are real people, and tarot can only capture so much about multidimensional humans that have had past experiences and cultural approaches amongst other things, it does not have to resonate with you since this is in no way related to anyone reading it (unless you are a member of BTS in which case, get out of here lol ) This is just for entertainment purposes. Remember that tarot as a form of divination only allows us to read current energy and as time advances it becomes less accurate, so it basically reads up to a 6 months period of time

Masterlist. | tarot masterlist. | astrology masterlist.

A/N: Let’s kick this ‘Marinette coming back after the storm’ with a gentle reading and keep on working on the lengthy one. I surprised myself with a Justin Bieber song coming up when I haven’t listened to him in years so-

First off, I found it so funny that the first ‘vibe’ that came up was the self-made card that has the imagery of the movie Kimi no Na wa– which is, coincidentally, one of the firsts queues I kept on receiving when I started reading for Jungkook. 

Alright, right off the bat, we have a lot of purple in the cards, this is absolutely a project that is made while thinking deeply about ARMY, may I allow myself to even throw in the idea that perhaps music in JJK1 is made as a way to tune into his spirituality and the innermost part of himself/ made via some spiritual connection in between, it feels almost revelatory in some ways. It tells a story that needs to be heard past the usual ‘oh he’s pouring his heart out, how cute’ It’s a very passionate project, the writing and rewriting and perfecting (lol how Virgo) is there in volumes and for the most part is what makes it so hard to get a sense of it as a completed work– because it is changing consistently. 

Most of the cards that came up are major arcana, so we are talking big words with this one. JJK is prone to be a really intense work of art. And will most likely not only be a big achievement of Jungkook’s but also, will be a huge event in itself in terms of people receiving it. It feels like a completion of sorts that is reflected in every single song of it. The peak of Jungkook’s hardwork that feels like the ending of an era for him. [9oP] As far as the story it tells come, it comes hand on hand with the whole intensity of it and the need to be heard. The please love me in it is pretty loud around it, it’s a beg for forgiveness. Please love me, even after you’ve heard my whole story. Which isn’t as catastrophic as it sounds, but it feels that way for him. The fear of overcoming his own intrusive thoughts and present a work of his that isn’t to be as expected, the fear of letting ARMY– the people he owes the most, risk it all for a story he’s tired of keeping bottled up, is very much present and real. I feel like this is a recurring theme that is touched as far as JJK1 is doing now, but I would second guess that he would 100% present such a dark theme. [the tower]

This is where the whole reading starts getting a bit tangled up, both The Hierophant and The Moon came up, while also the Pendulum picked up Taurus and Pisces, which the four of them are correspondent of one another. So it goes something along the lines of confirming that the whole work behind JJK1 has felt like a spiritual experience of sorts, while also being prone to fall into his comfort zone of “tried and tested” model with the release, all he more reason to believe that while he has prepared a lot of music that touches the real theme he would like to release, chances are he will probably end up playing it safe. Jungkook has had to do a lot of mastering his raw emotions for this one, this card wasn’t so much an indicator of the work itself but rather a generalised message that all that is left for him to do is to take it as it comes, he has worked hard and it is time to be brave and put his work out there [strength]

The release of JJK1 feels almost like a Wheel of Fortune itself, a lot of things may go wrong, a lot of things may go right, I would even dare to saw the whole event that has come into works for Jungkook while in this individual project (the tracks, the writing, the producing, the release) forms a major part of his spiritual path, as it is, it’s a work that touches his past in ways that he hadn’t left himself explore before and the way he plans on doing it is far from what could be deemed as ‘perfectly control’ which is what his life has been all about so far.[the wheel of fortune rx] 

Now onto a much clearer theme as far as the production comes. Two cards immediately came up. Duality and Sexual Energy which I believe are pretty self explanatory, Jungkook has been able to test out his hand at being the multifaceted man he is, even further now. The coexistence of Jungkook and music without the BTS variable thrown into the equation. Also, I believe we have been able to peak a bit into his whole sexier, risqué theme he has had going on, I’m thinking sensual sad tunes. Lost in translation keeps on coming up, think- House of Cards type of vibe, but with more pop-influences. Bruno Mars talking to the moon, Justin Bieber’s Ghost come up to me. So. much. Longing. 

Last but not least onto the astrodice + pendulum that I used to confirm some cards and vibes. Taurus, and Pisces vibes that the pendulum picked up were also present in the text above, the month of December came up but you know how shifty energies are and I felt like it wasn’t so much a true date more than it was a sort of “original plan for release” that can be taken as ‘end of the year' vibe so I would say November-January 2023 if and ONLY if no variables are changed into the energy reading right now. Perhaps on a Sunday. Scorpio Venus 11th. Fellas, hold tight cause we are going sexy. A lot of pretty feminine energy surrounds this, the antithesis of virile images, the juxtaposition of soft and sexual co-existing as one giving the vibe a whole ethereal look.

Decks: The Divine Tarot, Mystic Mondays, Shaman Healing, Pendulum, Astrodice.

We reblog a lot of aesthetic posts, so I think it’s time for some armchair philosophy.

What does it mean to be a vampire? Call it what you want, sanguinarian, energy feeding- it’s an umbrella of experiences and concepts neatly dovetailed into the goth subculture, cousins to folks like otherkin and therians. This blog is a little bit of a perfect illustration of my point- we mostly reblog aesthetics and art because it’s fast, easy, and gets the point across. But it’s here to talk about an experience, too, and we haven’t done much of that.

Maybe it’s similar to the witchcraft community that way. People post their candles and crystals, but the real work happens behind closed doors. And it’s easy, as a vampire, to sum it up as “yeah I feed on people, move along”. We’re gay, keep scrolling. Don’t like, don’t read, flames are fed to the cat.

Part of the urge to do that is a reaction to folks who peddle the idea of binaural beats to give you heterochromia, or Top Ten Reasons Why You’re Actually Supernatural (Number 6 Will Shock You!). Whatever the reason is, whatever causes this, it doesn’t give us the ability to Force Choke people or smell their deepest fears. People will always want to be special. I’d even argue that that’s normal and okay. I just keep tripping over weird culty shit that dents my faith in the community, relying on magical promises and feeding the fantasies of lonely vulnerable teenagers, and then we’re back to square one.

The only thing I can say for sure, I think, it what it means to me. It helps me feel like I belong- even if not to a group of people, then at least the night. The dark, the murky place where horror movies and pareidolia and the bogeyman mythos lives. It lets me feel powerful, confident, enjoy being who I am. The aesthetic brings me joy. The experience.... it’s nestled in there somewhere between my gender and my psychological issues, I think. It can hurt, it can be lonely, but it’s not always. It’s impacted how I look at the world around me, given depth to my animistic beliefs, affected how I look at and think about food in particular. Nothing quite makes you analyze where you get your nutrients like cravings you can’t actually satisfy.

For me, being a vampire is halfway punk rebellion and halfway just self-acceptance. I’m going to dress like I walked out of Crimson Peak, I’m going to be queer and identifiable only as an entity dressed in bones and fangs, I’m going to do things and try things other people don’t because their identities are in a box, and mine is everything outside of the box. I want to play ttrpgs, read pretentious books by candlelight that make me ponder the human condition, and maybe stick a hand into the BDSM community to see if anything bites.

What does it mean to be a vampire? I don’t think I’ve really got the answer, yet. I think it’s more important to focus on what it means to be you, first, and being a vampire is just part of that. I mean, we crave blood. There’s poetry in that, the depth of connection to another person inherent in consuming what gives them life, a liquid record of their health and wellbeing that you can learn to read with sustained contact. And if we can learn so much from feeding, from the conversation in that, then surely there’s just as much to learn from the hunger alone.

We just can’t lose ourselves to it, I think. Touch grass. Go to the library. Remember thou art mortal, etc, etc. There’s enough angst to fill an ocean, here- but existence isn’t only pain.

Alright, there’s your vampire pondering for the night, I’m gonna go watch samurai movies.

Ykno when life keeps teaching you that you're intolerable and undeserving of real respect and/or appreciation...

What are you supposed to do with that?

Coz I'm legitimately tired.

Fast approaching 30 and all I can see for my future self is solitude.

Coz being alone gets lonely sometimes, but I don't find it lonely by default.

What loneliness I do experience is mostly rooted in how unacceptable I seem to be than anything else.

That the connections I've tried to have or longed for that have failed me have singled me out as "different" or "difficult" and eventually done away with or avoided me altogether.

I am about to say goodbye to my 20s and I know myself better than I ever have and in this process of learning I have come to see that people cannot or do not wish to tolerate or understand me. Not much of me anyway.

And all the time spent learning to mask and adopting a facade of normalcy has only done me justice to a certain point. Longevity and prolonged exposure shows far too much of me and the mask is no longer enough to disguise the lesser loved aspects of my being.

I'm cool for now, for the moment. Great in short bursts. Fantastic for advice and a lil fun to be around. But get too close and peak behind the curtain and the enjoyment becomes uncertain.

I'm great, but not really. Better from a distance. Like Pointilism. The individual flecks are not worth the attention.

Actually, scrap that. Let's be real for a second. I'm not some great work of art. I'm more like one of those hypnotic spirals, with the assumption that those who perceive me are prone to vertigo sickness. Look too long and it's bound to lead to significant aversion.

I don't feel like a nice person anymore.

I don't feel loving or patient or tender.

I feel annoyed. Irritated. A deep desire to be unbothered.

And I fear that I am morphing into something even more repellant.

That I might be securing my path to seclusion.

I don't want to mask anymore.

I don't want to be judged.

I do not want to be critiqued and tweaked and warped into something lesser.

I want to be large and loud and bold and untethered.

And alone seems to be the only way I might possibly exist without reprimand.