shrimp of a man

finished the teal mask and oh boy do i have thoughts…

(SPOILERS FOR THE NEW DLC IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS PLS DO NOT READ)

god. kieran. kieran is so refreshing from a character perspective. kieran is like the anti-hop. it kind of feels like he’s the protagonist and we’re the classic jerk rival, doesn’t it? this guy clearly has Issues and i really like that, im enjoying this sort of “why can’t i beat you” rival trope that gamefreak’s been doing lately. they nearly did it with hop but with kieran they’re really going full in. the character arc that kieran went through in this dlc was actually difficult for me to watch, seeing this poor boy destroy himself mentally. the first time i battled him for the final time i actually lost, and i was hoping that he would get to keep ogerpon because altho shes cute and i adore her, i felt so bad. but ofc thats not the way the cookie crumbles. kieran is socially awkward, he doesn’t know how to communicate, and he’s never had a true friend. then florian/juliana comes along and suddenly there’s someone who seems to genuinely enjoy hanging out with him that isn’t, yknow, related to him. but then that person that he was so eager to trust goes along and begins befriending and helping a pokemon that hes adored all your life behind his back. i relate to kieran a lot and ofc yknow the absolute maniac arc hes about to go through is probably not healthy but i rlly hope this ends up being good for him. he idolized ogerpon because of how he related to her story, not because of the actual living creature she is. i wouldnt be surprised if it turns out he doesnt value his pokemon as actual living creatures either. i could see him being like a reverse silver, as he grows colder growing to not even care about his pokemon.

on the other hand, carmine! carmine was such a delight, i was genuinely not expecting to enjoy her as much as i did. sure, she also has Issues and has probably been a negative effect on her brother, but at the end of the day she is also just a kid. she probably has no idea what shes doing, and i dont think shed ever hurt kieran. she went through a lot of growth in the dlc and i can see her trying to become a better person with the help of florian/juliana and repairing her odd relationship with kieran.

also, it seems like she kind of has to play a parental role for kieran, as its implied that their parents arent around. thats another thing that separates kieran and carmine from siblings like hop and leon (and oh my god im just realizing all the parallels between hop and leon and kieran and carmine). its implied that the galar bros had a good childhood, and hops Issues dont start until hes set off on his journey and leon is a full adult with an actual life. with the kitakami siblings, if you read between the lines you can tell that theyve had a harder time growing up. with carmines comments on tourism and how it’s negatively effected their town and give her Trust Issues, that obviously fucked them both up a little, seeing that people only valued their hometown as an attraction, and that they themselves were a part of that attraction. and of course we dont know what the issue was with their parents. also, why are they going to school in unova? (side not oh my god it is so obvious that we’re going to get bw remakes in gen 9 or a legends unova game)

kitakami is such an interesting region. obviously its tiny, it has one town and then everything else is just untamed land. i feel like something Else is going on here. or maybe its just small idk

i love ogerpon a lot i think shes adorable and i love that we got to run around with her before she joined our team and it makes the whole “ten year old catches legendary thing” feel more realistic

also why are ogerpon and the loyal three legendaries i feel like they should be mythicals them being legendary feels Wrong

anyways these were my silly thoughts on the dlc and i hope kieran turns out to be the bb leagues champion (pulling a blue) and also i dont trust briar now time to finish my pokedex and talk to legends arceus pandering i mean perrin and if i see anyone call carmine a terrible person i will trade away your ev trained competitive team ok bye

(also this scene made me emotional)

Hello! Hope you're doing well hope you dont mind this request- Not sure if you've done this but may I request the om brothers reacting to a slow learner mc?;;

I am one slow learner aha-

Thank you in advance and do take your time!

the brothers with a slow learner

includes: the brothers x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .7k | rated t | m.list

a/n: thank you for requesting and i hope you enjoy it!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come drop by! i don't bite lol.

please reblog <33333

➳ lucifer realizes the issue fairly early on. after all, he is in charge of monitoring your task progress, so he knows that the, ah, relative lack of it isn’t because you didn’t try. not wanting to embarrass you, he doesn’t bring it up directly, but instead reworks the talk plan to try and make it more manageable for you. he also casually slides in offers for help and makes sure you’re aware that you’re more than welcome to sit in on any of his sessions with his brothers. overall, you seem to do a lot better and he’s glad that he can facilitate the best experience for you possible.

➳ mammon is glad he’s not the only one! oftentimes, he feels like he falls behind his brothers and it’s definitely a sore spot, so to find someone else with similar issues is such a weight off his back. you work together on a lot of things, helping each other where possible, and it makes asking for help a lot less scary as he doesn’t have to worry as much about coming off as stupid or like he’s not trying. you also do a lot to help him, dismantling those assumptions about him in other people’s eyes.

➳ levi isn’t the most studious, but tends to pick up on things quickly, which is the opposite of you, as you spend a lot of time with your books but need more time to synthesize and understand the content. eventually, he asks you about it, trying to explain he doesn’t mean any harm and just wants to help, which leads to you feeling more comfortable coming to him and asking questions. he also helps you find trustworthy study sites as all of the human-world ones you used to use were no longer applicable.

➳ satan didn’t really pay enough attention to notice the info until you come to him on your own accord, explaining how you’re having trouble with the new material, especially since you’re missing so much of the background those who have been at rad for a long time have. it becomes common for him to pass along his notes and annotations for you, as well as for him to proofread your papers, which honestly he really enjoys, as your human perspective is quite insightful even without all of the demon background. additionally, he uses you for knowledge too, asking you all sorts of things about the human realm shamelessly.

➳ asmo isn’t the fastest learner either, but he usually tries to keep that under wraps, studying in secret when others think he’s in his room messing with his clothes and makeup or going to the library when he tells his brothers he's going out on the town. you find him out quickly, coincidentally at the library when he’s there late one night, and before you know it, you two have regular study sessions. you help him be more open about where he needs help, something that’s truly a blessing even if it’s a little shameful to admit at first.

➳ beel doesn’t really study. he probably should, but hey, his grades are decent and he’d much rather hit the gym or restaurants around town. but he sees how hard you work and not only brings you snacks and a much-needed smile when you start to stress spiral but also pulls you away to go on a walk or get your blood pumping, which you find actually helps you a lot. he also (eventually) gets convinced to start studying more which helps his grades get a bit better and also allows you two to spend time together, which is a tradeoff he’s willing to make.

➳ belphie doesn’t really study either, and unlike been, his grades are not decent. they are abysmal. part of it is that he missed a lot of content when he was up in the attic and is now pretty far behind, but also he’s not motivated, especially since he really couldn’t care less. he also likes how angry it makes lucifer. after a few failed attempts to get him to study and put more effort in, you leave him be, but the guilt starts to eat at him when he goes to sleep in your bed with you bent over your desk and wakes up with you passed out with your face in your book, and attends some study sessions with you and beel.

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

As one of the leading minds on women and lesbianism, I would like your perspective on a query that has been lurking in the back of my mind. The question in question is, "Why do we as a society like boobs?" There shouldn't be any instinctive reasons for males to find that specific part instinctively attractive, they are not a reproductive organ, and on that note we lesbians, who defy the general understanding of nature, have no real reason to either. I mean, we got boobs, but it is not the same. Like, is there a scientific reason for society's adoration, of boobs, or is it as simple as neuron activation? I have a couple of theories. One could be something along the lines of being a good candidate as a potential mother, but that only makes sense for men, and I refuse to believe that lesbians are just mimicking the behavior of straight men for no real reason. There is something that connects us all to boobs... Maybe we are drawn to them instinctively as one of the first comforts of life, I'm not sure. That is why I beseech you, the ultimate woman-rizzler and diagnoser of kinks. Your standing in this community speaks volumes. So tell me, oh, wise one... Why do you think society is so fixated on boobs?

going to tell you all now this might he a bit long hecause i get sidrtracked really easily since i get excited taljing ahout kinks, also i willl ve talking ahoit kinks thats obvious enough. another importajt detail ! whikst i havr dobe so much resrarch on this using like full on books by professionals and reading professional scientific shit, there is not much at all of "why we are sexuallly attracted to this" so im basing this off what i have learned and using the information i have to write my own theories alsi i dont know neuron activation shit so maybe thats a reason idonrknow i jsut knoe ahout horny people !!! i hope you enjly my rambling ling ass answrt anyways 👍❤️

going to give you all alittle fun fact that the sexual attraction to boobs is called mazophilia, and it is a type of partialism ! a partialism is type of kink that falld under the category ot sexaul attractooj to body parts tjat arr not the geniitald, likr hands and feet anf legs anr all sorts of stuff ! i love explainining that to people ..

whilst i dont exactly know why liking tits is such like a huge common thing for peoplex because not much information and like reseatch goes into "why people like common body parts" i will use all the things i know to try and find a reason ! its crazy to me how people think that we must like something because of like evolution or because they are part of life or whatever, a foot fetish is literally the most common partialism like its so popular, and ehat donfeet do ???? nothing .. but people go horny over that shit !!! like the look of them, what they can do to them, and like even accessories !!! like painted toenails or toe rings or things of the sorts (tht is called clothes fetishism bytheway, srxual attracion to specific type of clothes and all that stuff basically)

thats ejough ahoit foot fetishes, back to tits ! i think that people simply like tits becaude of many different reasons honestly, most people like the way they look and see them in a sexual way, its really that simple !!! most fetishes start during puberty (and no kinks are NOT hereditary, yes your parents CAN influence your kinks during your childhood like if your parents smoked you are more likely to have capnolagnia, a smoking fetish, but kinkd are absolutely not hereditary and there are severeal reasons they can develop, like your childhood (also another small little fun fact most people who are into abasiophilia, which is sexual attraction to peoplr with impaired mobility, are adults whp were childten or young when there was that thing where polio was extrmely common and led people to wear orthopedic things ans that developed into these people being srxually attracted to it due to frequent exposue to it in their childhood) and also just as you grow up ypu will most likley find more things sexually attractive)

i feel like i keep on gping complly off topic becaude i grt excited to sprinkle in facts avout kinks so now im going to give the reasons why i think a lot of people are into tits

first reason, exposure to it our whole lives. as a society, tits are like shown as sexual and attractive, mosr shows or movies or even games you play have women with tits that are the focus and are mesnt to be sexually attractive. whilst as a child you would not think that because the shows you shpuld he watching would not have that focus point on breasts qs being attractive, as you get older, you would. if you look at any anime that is pg 13, it will have women who have big breasts that jiggle or are in provocatuve outfits that dhow them off on purpose, and even the other people in yhe show see it as attractive and start blushing seeing it. because of this being so common in most things from even such an early age, most peoppe will find tits attractive. to sum it down, a lot of media shows tits as being attractive and makes them the focus of attraction. its the samr way like a leg fetish show would make the legs the focus of sexual attraction, do you understabd ? (another little fun fact, thisbis also how many fetishes and kinks come to be, to bring up again capnolagnia its why many women in the past wete attracted to men that smokd because most peoppe did and it was so fommon and everywhere that it became attractve. compared to now, many less people smoke and its not seen as hot to most people anymore, society and media has a huge influence on fetishes abd kinks)

second reason, ut kind of links on with the first reason. most peopoe like tits, the people who like tits will talk about liking tits, resulting in more shows and stuff that have tits be hot, that soreads even more, more peoppe see that stuff and go yeah thats hot, and becaude its so common and so normal in society by so kany people, that mindwrt thing will go and be like okay ! i gyess that is hot ! its like youre influenced in a way ?

third reason, they literally just look nice, im attracted to womens backs for no other reason then yeah ! theyre nice ! theyre hot to me, and im so sure that goes for so many other people who just look at body parts and go yeah alright that fucks im into that, sometimes it really is as simple as that (also, sone peoppe are attracted to tits in specific clothing or with piercings and stuff, thats back to clothes fetishosm !!!). a lot of women are attracted to hands, why ? because of the defined details, like veins or that theyre rough or maybe even that they have long fingers, which brings me to my next point, imagingig what you can do to them or what tjey can do to you

fourth reason, the image if seeing tits and not liking them on thwir own, but imagoning ehat you fould do to them or what they could do to you. im going to hring up cheirophilia, whoch is the sexual attraction to hands. i think this is a good example because men AND women like hands (althoufh womej usually more, but why ? usually because of the masculinity shown theoifh the arms and hande like arm hair, rough hands, big hands, veins, or some cuts that show they do manuap labour whoch is usually a masculine thing, this is anther reason ill brinf uo for liking tits in my next reason) hands can be used for fingering for women whoch is what msot womej enjoy yhe most as it provides clit stumulation and also feels nicer (for a lotx but nt all peoppe with vaginas as they are all different) whilst for men thwy can see it as oh ! handjobs (whilstt men enjly handjlbs, most peoppe with dicks enjoy penetration which is why i think that men do not have as much srxuak attraction to hands as womej do, differenr erogenous zones that can he touched and stuff) so what do tita have to do with this ? peoplr will see tits and might think "oh, tits have nipples, and i wsnt to suck on nipples", or "i want to cum on those tits" or simply want to feel tuem up. that could also be why peoppe are attracyed to tits because they aant to do things to them and the umage of doing those things to the tits is erotic !

fifth reason, im bringing back the point i made before about women beong peoppe who are more into hands than men because it shows masculinity. tits udually are soemthong that dhows femininity or whatever the fucking word is, tbeyre feminine most commonly and are usully seen that way. people who are attracted to womeh will usually see tits and like rhem because they are feminine ! some people like bigger tits becwuse it means tbwy are more feminine (most commonly men i think who prefer bigger tits, becaude smaller tits are seen as "not feminine enough", but not all men and not al people who orefer bkgger tits think like this) butny yes, i think that peoole who are into women are also into tits because they usually show femininity !!

sixth reason, and this might be specific but its a reason i think more so .. girla would have ? none of this is scientofically prov4n, these arenall just my own theories based on my own resesrch on diffetent topics so youknkw take this as you will ! but, for this, i think women are more likely to he into thos (and also some men) but tits may show dominance. for me, i like bigger titw because they seen to mske peope look bigger, and i likr bigger people becaude they look more dominant to me and in power. its the same aswith height, but insteasnits size. some people may like tits because it shows domincance or something like that. i mean really, think ahout it, most peope who see a woman with big tits go "god i want her to literally smother me until i run out of breath and fie with tyose tits" and i think thts sayibg sometihing and it shows to me that some poppe are attracted to big tits because it shows domincance !!!

that was really long, but i think these are the reasons why a lot of people like tits. no kink or srxual attracyion will ever he as simple as only having ome reason why everyone likes it. also, i think the evplution theory is stupid like i undersand its scientific bit wyo the fuxk sees a womah with big tits and goes "oh she will make a perfecr moter she has chikd bearing breasts !!!" thats fuxjing atupud peppe are just horny and thats okay indomt care if that theory is scientific or whatever the fuck i like pussy and i dont have that inpregnate gene evolved in me i just lke it because its fucking hot !!!!

So, random thoughts about the recent update (update 3) on EN. (I don't know what's happening on JP server, so please don't tell me anything.)

I was thinking.... Maybe it's because I'm tired.... (2 hours of sleep), but I had a thought. What if Malleus just wins? Even if only briefly.... like he actually manages to engulf the entire world with his sleep curse. (Ahem, blessing.) I mean, how are we.....

Supposed to stop that.

(The dragon looks so cool though!)

I.... I don't think fighting is the answer here... I really dont.... Malleus is the next thing right under omnipotent. He's not quite there... but dang! What the heck man! What is going on in your head!? You're so weird it's actually intriguing. I want to know what he's thinking, because this plan of his is just ridiculous! Ridiculous in the sense that there's no way his plan can actually pan out the way he wants it to forever. Like, 1000 years of sleep huh? What do you think will happen when you allow everyone to wake up? Or.... you gonna change your mind and just keep them asleep longer? You're not giving everyone their dreams. You're dangling it in front of them like a carrot on a stick. Making them think they have what they want, only for it to be stripped from them one day. But hey, at least you get to keep Lilia, right? I get it. He's hurting. And he's acting pretty desperate. I'm going to ask the same question I have asked before. How much is the blot affecting his mind? Morphing in with his thoughts to help him believe that this is rational? He wants something so simple and innocent, but is going about it in an incredibly selfish way.

In the original case of Maleficent, she is defeated by a sword stabbing into her heart.... I hate to say it, but there's only two ways to stop Malleus at this point. Either manage to talk him out of it, or killing him. Yeah, it hurt to type that. But I'm just typing the facts. There is no way we'll be defeating him the way we did with the other overblotters. Which is how I got the idea of, what if he "wins". At least the type of win where everyone feels like they're all doomed and all hope is lost right before someone figures out a way to stop him. I know from Malleus' perspective at the moment, he's already won.

Okay, rant over.... maybe

.

..l really need sleep.

No! I don't need help from you.

Here's random Dragon Gifs... because.... I don't know. Because I feel like it.

K, this one below, not a dragon, but it looks cool!

Y'know, my blog name has become Ironic now. I named it 'Once Upon A Wonderland Twists into A Dreamland' because I decided it sounded cool, and I wanted a blog name that had a meaning behind it. The "Once Upon a" part alluding to the fact that a lot of fairy tales start with "once upon a time". Though I believe half of the tales Twist takes from technically don't start like that. But y'know... popular trope.... and then the "Wonderland" part in my blog name because: "twisted wonderland". Now the "twists into a Dreamland" part came about because I had thought of make-believe worlds that we find ourselves going to as a sort of Dreamland. A place to escape to for a while.... (also I wanted "Twist" somewhere in the title.) Hence the name: Once Upon A Wonderland Twists Into A Dreamland. Now it seems my blog name has predicted what happens in book 7.... 🤣 I don't know. I like ironic stuff like this. It's funny.

I have a bad habit of calling into work in the first few weeks I literally always do it bc I’m like ahhh new job AhhhhHH new job and trying to be good at something is like it is so embarrassing to be alive rn god is telling me to stay home. anyways here I am starting a new job and I called into work sick this morning 🫡

ugh honestly 1 thing nobody ever tells you about work is how fucking horrible the first few weeks/months are where you don't know how to do shit and most of the other staff r weirdly condescending and every single moment feels like the same white hot embarrassment u used to get in school when you were getting bullied or u failed a test or whatever it's so SHIT!!! when i started this job i basically had to tell myself to stop avoiding the inevitable embarrassment and just try to get really good at feeling that feeling like i had to actively chase the horrors because i knew it was the only way to grow. and ummm every time i fucked up i just had to know that it had to be done like i NEEDED to fuck up. basically because there was no way around it and the more i tried to avoid it the more i messed up anyway and the less i learned. but it took me by like my 4th job to even begin to think like that about it and or see it that way, and even so the anxiety is still utterly overwhelming (like for real earth-shattering, sobbing in the bathroom every 10 minutes, thinking of quitting 1 week in sort of anxiety lol) and i just wanted to basically completely empathise with you and offer some understanding. like i dont blame you at all for needing a day to hide or decompress or whatever you need to do. it's the most stressful shit ever LOL and honestly as long as it doesn't jeopardize your job then go for it. i hope you have a decent person on staff who you can come trust to to ask for guidance and support with time bc that makes the world of difference nd then when someone else new joins you can be free of the weird internalise new person shame and just help them out instead lol. a lot of the time it's a sign of a crappy work environment/team if they don't give you room to grow and proper support anyway so don't be quick to shoulder all of the blame + try to offer yourself some compassion and perspective if that is the case. hugs. x

ok so, yugioh is essentially a fantasy story, right? perhaps an urban fantasy of sorts, but given how the final parts take place in a magical recreation of ancient egypt where the pharoah is transported back into it forced to relive those events, with said events including having a team of literal mages who use actual magic, all without even having to use trading cards!! like yeah that's fantasy, just one that centers ancient egypt as opposed to an ancient europe/vaguely europe knockoff setting. what i'm getting at here is, you know how in fantasy stories that involve a king in some form in a positive manner, you've just gotta sorta suspend your disbelief that monarchy is on some level legitimate and that the monarch isn't inherently a massive piece of shit just for being in an innately authoritarian position. and that's fine, you can do that, and you just gotta hope that your audience can discern for themselves that while monarchy sucks irl, you don't gotta worry about that here because it's, y'know, fiction. imo it's just something best left unaddressed if that's the kinda story you're going for, though personally that's not the kind of story i intend on telling, but that's besides the point. what really sucks, and often does the opposite of the intended effect for me, is when the story tries to justify the monarchy, or at least the specific monarch. like no no no you dont understand bro, the pharoah's actually a really cool guy, it's just his scheming advisor that did all that evil stuff that made the bad guy, he didn't even know that he did that dude. if you've read yugioh, you know what i'm alluding here assuming you have a decent recollection of the ending arc. the pharoah (and his father before him) were honest to god genuinely good guys, and the reason the thief king's village got murdelized was because of a scheming advisor, and of course this happened before the pharoah even came to the throne, and of course his father didn't even know that this happened, much less giving the kill order himself. and we're expected to just accept this, when the series starts up with the pharoah finding basically any excuse to do some fucked up shit to someone. and like, within the narrative they deserve it, and it's satisfying, but to be blunt i dont think setting two hoodlums on fire was a proportionate response to them beating up a kid and taking his money. like yeah, that's a fucked up thing to do to a kid, but it's a relatively normal teenage boy kinda fucked up, setting them on fire is serial killer fucked up. like, i've been on fire. that shit hurts. so while i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that a monarch in fiction is a decent guy, i feel like it doesn't mesh well with how yami comes out of the box a fucked up gremlin freak, and even setting aside that, i think it would've been more interesting if, in life, the pharoah was kind of a piece of shit. hear me out here: as the series goes on, the pharoah definitely mellows out and slowly becomes a better, kinder person. i'm not sure it would've even been intended as a redemption arc, but i like the idea that being around yugi just slowly made him into a decent goddamn human being. if memory serves, it felt like a very natural transition. i think i'm comfortable saying that yami was a good person by the time we get to the last arc. so, imagine if it really did turn out that in life, he was a piece of shit, and now he has to reconcile his fucked up past with how he's grown and changed in the intervening millenia. you could even take it from the perspective that for the most part, it wasn't even a matter of active cartoonish villainy, just how he ruled his kingdom, enforced its law and order, and he's bad just due to the inherent violence in such an act. personally i think it'd make the most sense as a bit of a column a column b thing, but both result in what i'd consider to be a much more compelling character arc; one that we wouldn't even be fully aware of until the very end

I am not on anyone sides considering the events.

This is probably a tad specific about how everyone is handling this drama.

Everyone pinning shit against each other is absolutely wild. Not only does this case almost harm people just due to evidence about Alex nor Victims.

This level of negative I can't say is the best way of handling it.

Think of a survivor's attitude that handle this situation without doxxing people just because they're a blood-related and haven't communicated with accused individual, a different individual who discussed this as a thought due to questionable actions occurred by others, etc. Survivors handle this situation more maturely than being a crazy individuals who put this out.

This isn't being safe for everyone anymore? Nearly driving some individual to suicide isn't great at all. From my neutral perspective; did everyone forget that everyone is human beings, so why the sudden aggression started to flame the case further by harming others just purely disagree?

Twitter is literally a shit dumpster to sort out of alleged differences with poor actions, evidence, etc. Pointing fingers and violence is an answer? I'm not saying Mitcha and Donut handle that "well." And suspicious behavior of either side. I am saying this started bad to worsen the toxicity of alleged alex and yourself.

Even if Alex said certain things to victims accurately true, shouldn't you hold him accountable without negative intentions and have more to show? or if victims framing each other is true as well, why do you go so far to ruining everyone?... this isn't going to stay civil and normal? I'm not saying forgive and forget or few people have a different argument to death threats, potentially h*mocide (people will go to far so i really hope any of you dont actually attempt), push someone to suic*de of your doc about him being skeptical.

However. This does not mean getting people harmed and caught in a crossfire is okay at all.

Whatever time this case ends, stay safe, everyone. I hope you find a different interest that you can enjoy. My condolences for everyone 🙏

Edit:

I want to state Alex's "threat," with suicide still troubling. Doesn't matter if it's attention grabbing or not. Despite my being skeptical of all sides; suicide thoughts, emotions, actions such as self harm is dangerous on him/her and everyone else.

It's a concerning spiral! I've been down that road, and I tell you for certain it's horrifying. Similar to a blackhole stretching out your sanity along staying civil can break, definitely mold hate of yourself and try to make it through the numbness. Different in any case of survivors who saved themselves. Eventually, holding Alex to get canceled and not receive help isn't great. Yes, hold yourself accountable, and hold him/her accountable from certain actions on either side.

Sadly, this is no longer of a civil case. Almost pity.

Still. If you feel endangered, please call suicide hotline and get yourself help.

I don't normally say this as an adult stranger online, but if anyone needs to talk to a listener... I'm here for you to some extent. I know it's not enough, but my doors are open.

Writer Q&A

Finally doing this, thank you for the tag @lexiklecksi!!

I tag: @wheres-all-the-tea-gone and @atmospheric and anyone who wants to do it

What motivates you to write?

An inherent desire to communicate and deal with certain feelings I have (usually bad ones). My big WIP On The End Of Everything is about characters that are very dissatisfied with their lives and with who they are but have no way of changing this, as well as an exaggeration of the apocalyptic feeling we get when we don't have our lives completely together (might that tell you something about me?). Both this story and my short story anthology WIP make political commentary in the stupidest way possible, like any scifi story should.

Every character has a trace of me and every trace of me is examined and judged in all sorts of situations. It's both a form of self-therapy and a way to unload nonsensical ideas and peculiar humour.

A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I like my poems best of the stuff I've written in the past 3 years, and there's a rather long one with some body horror elements (CW), but here are two verses from that one:

you may climb to the valley but the descent is steep there the partyhouse is filled to the brim here lie the parents, not awake nor asleep tie them together for their bodies are thin down the sea over yonder and into the deep see them drown and wonder, why had they no skin? a fly on the water comes to pose a conundrum if your face were another would you feel any different? then all insects fall dead to beat of a drum the wet blows are approaching and becoming vociferant another face is growing over your own now, how fun the next mouth utters sweetly the cry of an infant

What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

I'm not sure but I used to think descriptions? Especially of rather gorey and disturbing scenes, that's what I used to think. I haven't done that sort of thing in a while though, I hope I get to do it again soon. Well, apart from poems, as you can see.

But I think desciptions in general, they are my way of bringing the humour.

What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?

The fact we all stay curious about other people and their work! Plus everyone here is so earnestly in love with writing, it's nice.

A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Those synonym and rhyme websites, translators, but in my case especially wiktionary.org

A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I like the world building in On The End Of Everything's first universe the best, but it's a sort of mystery so I don't want to spoiler it. To give you an idea of the current vibe (after all the worldbuilding that is to be uncovered); it is a universe with no sun, one planet that is able to support human life due to geothermic activity and an ecosystem of bioluminescent critters, and a human population with names like Nestlé (my main girl of this universe, I love her).

What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

If you're stuck just write Anything else. Could be a completely unrelated story idea you have or you can try to write the scene from someone else's perspective or write what someone completely different is doing somewhere else in-universe right now. Just because it won't be part of the finished story doesn't mean its not valuable. And hey, depending on the tone of your writing or how exciting the scene is you could just put it in anyway. For example: i dont really know how to write my current scene so instead i just wrote about a random bioluminescent dog called Stephen Colbert and his take on the scene. My writing is silly.

this might be a very weird question bc i dont know how to word this but. i have tmj and im pretty sure i have hypermobility joint syndrome (not diagnosed?, my family has a history of it) but im not sure how to bring it up and a doctors appointment is expensive. its currently at a point where im constantly in some form of pain, especially in my knees and my fingers- im trying to save up for compression gloves or knee braces bc the pain is so overwhelming. everyone i know is able bodied so i dont really have anyone to go to for advice, where do you think i should go from here?? (sorry if this is a bother!! feel free to delete this i know its a lot)

This is a difficult one to answer. I'm honestly not that knowledgeable about the diagnostic process for a lot of conditions, mostly because I was diagnosed with my issues so young that my mom and grandma did all the work. I haven't officially been diagnosed with anything since, even though I believe I have undiagnosed issues (an autoimmune thyroid condition being one of those).

Have you brought it up with your family at all? You could tell them that you've been experiencing symptoms.

Just because you're undiagnosed doesn't mean you don't have a certain condition. Unless it becomes a severe issue, you don't have to get diagnosed right away, especially since you may not be able to afford it. Remember that diagnoses can take a very long time in some cases. Sometimes they even take decades. I was diagnosed quickly, but that was because my family already had experience and my grandma and mom are very stubborn and fought for me.

I'd recommend bringing it up to your family. If you can't get diagnosed, maybe try speaking with those in your family who have that condition, if possible. Get their advice, their perspective, ask about their experience, etc. Do some online research on it and ways you can help yourself. Go onto social media and search for people who have that condition.

And if you think some sort of aid will help you, definitely save up for one. You don't need a diagnosis to get things that will help you. Plenty of undiagnosed disabled people buy themselves mobility aids in order to help them. So if you firmly believe that something is wrong with your joints, don't let your lack of a diagnosis control you and stop you from doing something to help yourself.

Diagnoses are a thing of the modern era. Diagnoses like we have now haven't always existed. Modern medicine isn't as old as many people think it is. And many of these conditions are lesser known. Which means that even if you were able to go to a doctor, medical gaslighting is still possible, even for those who actually have a diagnosis.

I have a friend who has been diagnosed with multiple disabilities, multiple chronic illnesses who was told by a doctor that she was faking, even though she has a bunch of diagnoses. So that's just one of many obstacles you could run into when attempting to get a diahnosis.

I hope this helps

If anyone else has any tips for this user, please comment 😁

AGH. im sorry u have covid i hope you feel better soon my love…… i will really think about posting that kerejean fic for you ok? if i can get myself to do the major edits i will send u a link. it’s very special to me…. the domesticity….. one of the earliest scenes is Jeremy feeling like he’s Intruding on their relationship after a night at their apartment and waking up to them having a slow morning making breakfast and coffee and he’s like I Have to Go. but they insist he stays for breakfast of course and learn how he likes his coffee. the whole thing is just them navigating the relationship and healing really….. there’s other stuff of course but u know. like kevjean meet jeremy and realize they’re Comfortable in life but still have a long way to go to keep healing. jeremy meets them and realizes a lot of his past partners never loved him the same way he loved them. he helps them out of their shell and shows them things they missed as kids and they help him slow down and put his issues into perspective. ohhh my loves… i just think they deserve to be happy. pah. this is so long again my apologies can you tell this story is my baby!!! slice of life kerejean with lots of past kevjean lore :))) give me a few months to finish + edit stuff and perhaps i will share <3

NOOOO im sorry cutie i dont actually have covid it was that meme going around!!!! it meant i feel unwell about it!!!!!! thank you for your well wishes though they were received with love!!!!!!!

but this feels like a great time (heh) to announce that i love doing editing work.... and being a beta reader.... and giving out opinions and things of such magnitude....... if you're ever interested..... :3?! i really love this idea i think it is fresh and beautiful and new and i always love fics with poly couples that take their time to acknowledge every side of the dynamic and do well by the poly community. THEY ARE SOOOOO...!!!! it reminds me a lot of this poem

of course this poem is a little sad but. they both kiss jeremy goodnight...... and then you can work from there hopefully. oh i am so excited for even the idea of this can you tell..... i fear that if you keep sending asks about it i will keep answering long walls of text about it and we might truly become some sort of keremy-adjacent loving rivals. thank you as always for talking about it i love it so dearlyyyyyy!!!!! will forever ever and ever wait for this. no pressure of course. but on my deathbed i will think of it

Hii, congrats on reaching another of your milestone goals! How've you been doing? I wanted to say something but you can skip this if this makes you uncomfortable or oversteps boundaries.

It's been awhile since I last visited ur blog, but DAMN—UR ART JUST KEEPS EVOLVING!!! I said this in a previous ask, but your colors holds both vibrancy yet natural flow that draws attention to the focal point but also gives love to the details (especially w/lighting and shadows (Caldera's fire glow effect still lives rent free in my head, but I also saw PL cards and THE SMOOTH SHINE OF LOTISE AND LUCERO'S HAIR THAT'S JUST ADDS DEPTH&CONTRAST TO THE BACKGROUND, THE SUBTLE GLOW OF THEIR EYE CLOSETS(probably saturation but it's making me feral) HOW THE SATURATION OF COLORS DON'T CLASH BUT WORK PERFECTLY TOGETHER AND STILL DRAW DISTINCT ATTENTION TO THE SCENE AND THE DETAILS—)). The way you draw characters, I feel like there is a lot more flexibility and freedom in dynamically angles and posing for them! I still feel a lot of anime nostalgia but also a uniqueness in how aesthetic shows up in design (toytoria dorm room has roblox royal high nostalgia for me hsksj). THAT COMIC YOU POSTED FOR TOYTORIA ANNIVERSARY THO, THE FLOW OF THE COMIC IS JUST INCREDIBLY WELL DONE!!! It really does feel like a small glimpse into a natural interaction between characters. For characters, I unfortunately am not up to date but from what I've so far, ur characters are expressive in this dynamic way that comes across so well when writing dialouge or from their perspective. I feel like your sense of direction w/the lore you want to establish is even more refined and I think you do a mind-blowing job in conveying it (show don't tell vibe). I still enjoy and look forward to seeing how chaotic and mentally ill/j you make ur characters. I'm extremely elated to see just how much you've grown despite not knowing the full picture.

I apologize for the lengthy ramble and the suddenness of this, and I understand if I am being overly familiar. Don't forget to take a break and rest + hydrate and eat—your health comes first!

Hope your week is good to you!!!

ANOOONNN????? THIS IS SO SWEET OF YOU HELLO#$??#$

WAA im surprised u noticed the details in my rendering that i threw into the playful land cards😭 im ngl i was playing around with the add/glow layer on it FOREVER lmao. That and well. ya my old Caldera sprites rlly helped me get a hold on lighting AKDSJHAHJDJH. IM HAPPY THAT YOU FIND MY WORK SO VIBRANT YET HARMONIC.... the flexible comment too...just this whole ask AUGH CRIES

You'd be right on the Roblox Royale High part IUKASDJHJAS i still play it...it still leaks into my designs....BUT TEEHEE it becomes a nice aesthetic as u said!!! AND MY COMIC AUGHHHHHHHH TYSM.....im so picky with my comics and their dialogue in fear ill b messing up the whole vibe SO IM HAPPY MY FLOW IS WORKING WELL ATM!!!! SAME FOR SHOW/DONT TELL i consider that 2 b like. one of the major requirements in any sort of storytelling💀THEN ITS NOT YUMMY YK??

TY AGAIN FOR SUCH A NICE COMMENT...holds it like its my newborn😭😭😭 DONT APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH ILL EAT IT UP NONETHELESS. i hope ur week goes well too!!!

anj ur fics are so fun and well-crafted i am a huge secret admirer of them who has been following u for a yr (and i respect the dilf prof anthony agenda frfr it's always the english depts too getting called daddy thank u for this homage) but omfg as someone in the humanities phd track, i cannot help but ask why kate is so young for a prof???? esp since almost all humanities profs start a fulltime teaching position at 28-30 yrs old minimum... i had a hard time imagining how 25 yr old would allowed to teach as a professor full-time by effect of her 'merit' unless it's some exploitative semi-illegal gag clause contingency hidden in her contract that renders her basically a 'pre-'grad student but w/o even their flimsy benefits n protections which actually usually is the case... 😭😭 knowing the dysfunctional politics embedded in uk and north american tenure systems, i unfortunately couldnt get past it! but looking forward to ur milf kate writing, hope u dont find this question too nosy or offensive lol (i enjoyed the fic for what it is hehe) i realize traumatized phds r probs not the target audience of this fic nor entitled to an explanation for why ur not reading and incorporating paywalled exposes of uni working conditions into a fic but was still curious if u were just taking reference from a different context or more ethical precedent of academic labor (which may ease my conscious reading it haha). tysm!

First of all—thank you! I appreciate you reading and being a secret admirer (tho I promise I don’t bite, ur always welcome to say hey!). I appreciate it 💘

Second of all—lmfao I was wondering when I’d get this ask or comment 😭😭😭😭😭 I just knew there’d be some poor phd student or some professor reading this fic who’d be like “hang on… what’s that?” and the answer I’ve got for you is let’s have a healthy dose of suspension of complete disbelief because it was the only way I could make this work 🤓

I wanted it to be an age gap because I wanted to write an age gap but I didn’t want there to be too horrible of a power imbalance that would definitely come with it being a student/professor relationship. That was just too far for me to personally go, even though with the ages I have them at, it would be the most realistic thing. Idk making them student/professor made me feel icky. I suppose I could’ve made her work some admin job within the university but I really liked the idea of them both teaching, and I originally planned on having him sort of rediscover his own love of teaching thanks to her enthusiasm. For some background (this didn’t make it into the fic, but I did hint at it); Anthony specializes in teaching a lot of western lit canon/comp lit things and Kates specializes in post-colonial lit/Asian American lit, and I liked the idea of her challenging his perspectives and changing up some of the ways he approaches his work and the things he assigns, and that all helping him rediscover his love of teaching as well. There’s a repeated theme in this oneshot of rebirth; how love can find us at unexpected times and make the world feel brand new again. I kinda heavy-handedly drove the theme home when he says I love you and I write that it washes over Kate like rainwater in spring—a sort of nod to baptism/rebirth imagery, a nod to rain being necessary for renewal even though she’s afraid of storms but the storm scene is a huge turning point for them, and rain and springtime and rebirth etc lol. ANYWAYS—all this to say, I really do try and make things as realistic as possible, because that matters to me and I like world building and tbh I do get paranoid that someone might read my fic and go “oh well that’s wrong, a mechanic would never say that” or something lol, but it is fanfiction land and I do have to make some concessions to make the story work in the way I want it to work, and I sort of ended up here lol! Trust me, though, I totally hear you; I was an English major myself (if you couldn’t tell) with a concentration in post-colonial lit and a minor in poli-sci and for a while I thought I’d get my masters or a PhD in the humanities and then teach, before a professor discouraged me from it bc ya know this is the US and that usually means a lot of debt and no teaching positions lol. But all that to say—I totally hear you! It’s not realistic and it’s icky if you work/study in it and know exactly what the dark and ugly side of academia looks like! But most folks probably didn’t catch that bc no one really knows what it’s like until you’re in it tbh. I tried to sort of make it work by having her have these two masters degrees (again, insane) and be some sort of wunderkind and exciting new voice in the post-colonial lit field that Agatha just had to bring on lmao. Basically it’s not perfect and it doesn’t totally work irl, but it’s not too big of a plot point besides getting them in the same place, and it’s not a huge focus, just in the background as they’re grading things or walking around campus, and I hope it doesn’t totally impede your ability to read it, but I totally understand if it does 😭

OMG THIS IS MY FIRST POST BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR A LONG TIME AND I WANTED SOME FEEDBACK BEFORE I MADE IT A FULL SERIES ON HERE. OK HERE WE GO YALL.

STAREING AT THE SUN. CHAPTER. 1

FINN

"Icarus. The boy that flew too close to the sun. Burned up his wings. Into little stubs of nothing,". Nana and her exaggerated stories ring in his head to this day.

Finn tries to look at his brother in the den of the truck but his views are cut off by tinted glass.

He's never this secretive about things. Hope’s never secretive about these things.

He never keeps this big of a project from him. They both dont.

The rubble from the ground hits the windshield swiftly. The dirt piling up on the small window means they weren't out of prison borders yet.

Across from the actual prison its two football fields wide of dusty perimeter of cacti and tumbleweeds. 200 yards of nothing but perimeter drones and guard angles. Makeing it harder to get in than out of the place.

He could still smell the dust in the air from the hatch that was cracked open. It bothered him that it was open but not as much as the fact that it didn't close in the first place.

It could give them away of not being a milk truck without the huge cloth covering them.

No matter how much he would try and pull on it, it wouldn't budge an inch makeung him almost fall onto a bunch of needles on a cart that was locked.

Finn stares at the syringe covered in specks of blood. Her blood. Blood that shouldn't have been taken out of her body to begin with. Theres a way they could have run the test without druging her and takeing her blood.

There was another way he tells himself tryihg to stay an optomist. The majority of the liquid they extracted moves back and forth to avoid clotting.

“Dna test, nothing getting stolen, no one probably wants this anyways,”One of the scientists says carrying the blood in his rough hands moving it back and forth, trying to stop it from clotting without the machine. The heated gloves he's wearing only help a tiny bit with warmth. It didnt matter if it cloted they would just draw more from her until they got what they wanted. He says one last thing before going back to his lab. “Try and relax,”.

The bench that he's sitting on doesn't feel as heavy anymore. How can he relax? Motion sickness does not come lightly. He feels sick. He almost opens up the hatch to puke before seeing the line of 6 security cars behind them. A bucket is gonna have to do.

Nana used to tell stories about angels like her. The ‘broken’ ones. A leyline between demons and angels. The flukes and freaks of nature. Demon kind but still confined to the britches of heaven by laws bent against them. She told stories about the court case when she was a teen. And how she was there seeing the tiny baby in a cradle.

"You shouldn't be this close,'' the guard says from beside Finn. He moved over making less space between them. "Even if you're the grim reaper you have no business being here with that disgrace,".

His formal title on these projects. Grim. Grim reaper. Whichever fits. It's more his dads title than Finns. He just takes it on sometimes due to the resemblance.

'It's all about perspective,' Finn's mother Mortala said to him even earlier on the phone. 'You either think she's Cinderella or Hitler'. It's funny that she's referring to hitler.

Finn doesn't know what to think about it.

He's seen blurry photos of sorts and other things like videos of them restraining her but not alot. Videos blurry, violent and brutal; they looked like they recorded them with a disposable camera. Most of her efforts where completely shut down by shock collars around her neck as she was dragged back to her cage.

One of them. The one that really made him nauseated was one where the person recording followed the guard's puting her back. Picking up her unconscious face from the floor by her hair repeating the words. "Best spring break ever" and "no way dads gonna top this,". Her face is used out of that one too.

Finn nods slowly. Trying to not acknowledge him too much. His only job was to bring her back to the main ring with Dominic, his brother. They're twins.

It's a rehabilitation project. Their home is one big sanctuary with a couple people living in the wings of the mansion at a time.

It's a slow process of putting her back with her actual people. Her kind. Nana also said that Finn's father, Steven, was to dumb to act on cases like that until Mortala came into his life. Even though she despises the woman she still tries to treat her with dignity.

Finn stared at his unkempt hair in the mirror beside him as he thought. He brushed his hair out with his fingers trying to fix it.

When they presented the judges there case they all looked at them like they were crazy. But they got her out of the prison. One way or another.

"Is she back there, well of course she's back there, is she awake?"Finn asked, trying to look past the guard's frame. The mirror caught the side of her eyes. At the silence he started to get anxiety. He fiddled with the knife in his pants pocket. Everytime his hand passed the cold medal blade his heart rate increased.

He couldn't see anything in the small sliver of a window but a flood light. The guard mutters that she was but she had heavy sedatives in her."Can I see her?". He gives him an all knowing look but doesn't give his insight because he's not paid enough.

“You're the executive and…. 16 now,”He says, patting his back reassuringly. He unlocks the door after a small while of stalling looking for the keys.

As his eyes adjusted to the light as a small voice spoke in the distance. "Am I going to another facility?". There wasn't much distance but the voice was so frail it felt far. As his eyes adjust he sees a girl with a chain collar around her neck that barely fits as it falls off onto her shoulder blades repeatedly. She looked like she weighed less than 80 pounds.

She stares at Finn from where she's chained. She looks. Perfect. Like she's not meant to be in chains she's bound to. Like a princess. A damsel in distress. “This doesn't look like the carrier cars though, and these chains are a little thrown together,”. She laughed akuardly trying to lif the thing on her neck aging.

Words fail him as he sees the girl in front of him. Brown hair going slightly over her honey golden eyes covering her expresions. "My family's c-company,"Are the only words that come out of Finn's mouth as he admires her. The light only makes her eyes more beautiful.

The girl only nodded trying to flex her wings out again. “What a nice nap,”She says faintly again reaching her hands out to stretch but she noticed how somethings off. The bands. They have her strapped in like a turkey.

She strains trying to look back at the skeletons mounted to her back. She struggles silently looking at the skeletons and trying to open them. Finn opens her mouth as she looks at her panic setting into the honey pools in her eyes. "I can help you,"Finn shouts at her, accidentally startling her more. He didn't mean to yell at her.

"I can help you get out of those things. They're just high resistance rubber bands. I can cut for you,"Finn offers, showing her a pocket knife.

What was he saying? Offering her help now of all times. She's still unstable and scared. She could kill him if she wanted to.

She sees her jump back at the sight. As she should. It's a normal reaction to seeing a weapon in the hands of a stranger.

"No it's fine I-you I mean please don't come near me,”She panics. As she panics looking around now straining her apendages even further, the bands snap on their own. The strain must have gotten to them. It doesn't take much when you have wigs made up of sharp bones.

She starts to pick up wind beneath her. He tries to say something but her words are muted by a sound of agony. The girl's tugged back down onto the mattress harshly by the cheap chain. As she lands back on the mattress feathers start to come out of the mattress. One even landing on her shoulder.

¨You're still not at 100%, let me help you, please,¨Finn pleads stepping closer. He tosses the knife on the ground. It's not like he needed it anyways.

It's only when Finn puts a knee on the bed that she moves. She moves away from him, wincing because of dragging her wings against the striped bed. ¨Please let me help you,¨.

Finn reaches a hand out to the chain to remove it. The only sound was quiet wind outside. Brushing up against the metal on the carrier. Her breathing was shallow and hiked as she looked at him. He moves it off with one hand to not intimidate her, it was harder but it would make her the most safe.

This was all for her.

She yawns quietly as small tears run down her face. Finn moves away as her head lands on his chest. He looks down at her for a moment to make sure it's real before he moves her head to the side making sure she doesn't get cold.

They gave he a heavy dose of sedatives. He didn't pay attention to what the doctor said about them wearing off.

Finn looks at her file on the wall again. Gwendolyn Ruth Fallan, age 16, prison name: Icurs.

He took the file out with him. She knew there was a reason for this. Gwen.

------------------------------------------------------------------

His brother comes back out from the den a small bit distraught. He tears off his gloves with his teeth not wanting to touch them again he spits them in the trash. He looks back up at him to then at the file.

“Were you just in there with her? Give it to me,”He asked looking at the vanilla file in his hand. “Have you looked at it yet?”. Finn says no, but he refrains the urge to actually fork over the file. It was his. He had it first, it's not a petty sibling game. The file was rightfully his. No matter how he put it though it was petty.

Finn sits down on the bench looking at his twin. He twirls his hair just to annoy him further. “Would you rather look at it with me? I'm not handing over confidential information so easily,”.

OMG I DIDNT THNK IT WOULD BE THIS LONG BUT WHOEVER READS THIS I HOPE YOU ENJOY SO I CAN CONTINUE THE SERIES. NEW CHAPTER COMEING ON WEDNESDAY.

hiiii!! im so excited about the cheol part for UTS!! i have been reading fanfic since like 2011 and i am being so fucking serious when i say uts is one of my favorite things i have read. i am seriously considering getting a darl+ing inspired tattoo with like hints of under the sun themed art work tied into it because the little world that you built means so much to me!! i saw that you said you were planning on writing a poly fic and is that gonna be a continuation of under the sun? like idk if you are planning to and i hope im not overstepping but i feel like it would be so cool if you went deep into explaining the lore and reasons why they were there, why they remember certain things about their past when they are with the reader etc. i would love to hear your plans if you’re willing to share without spoiling it too much lol. i hope you are doing okay and life treats you well!! p.s. if you have any suggestions or anyone has any artistic ability to give inspiration ideas for an UTS tattoo or uts artwork in general that would be so helpful!! would it be okay with you if i got an UTS inspired tat? idk if thats weird to get a fanfic themed tattoo i feel like i should ask permission LOL just to make sure ur comfortable with that. have a great day!!

anon i dont know how to tell u that i all but Literally screamed when i saw this like i have several friends who can attest to the fact i sent them a screenshot going "WHAT THE FUCK /POS" bc of how floored i was to see this ??? like i dont know if u know how like... genuinely thrilling it is to read something like this as a writer but its the kind of thing that keeps me writing

anyway!! yes 100% feel free to incorporate UtS into ur tattoo if u want!! its ur body so its fully up to you, but you absolutely have my blessing to do so if you decide on it! i literally played around with the idea of like. maybe making some sort of subtle stickers to sell on redbubble or something if anyone would be interested in those? i do love the idea of a darl+ing inspired tattoo in general like its not my fave song at all but the vibes are still so comfy <33 my go-to thoughts would either be literal sun-inspired stuff or flowers since both are mentioned within UtS, but anyone more artistic than i am (which is probably most ppl haha) is 100% welcome to weigh in <3

i dont really know what all i can share from my current poly fic plans other than the fact that i think i'm going with a genuinely bittersweet ending? plus the fact that some of the scenes i already have envisioned for poly fic involves alternate perspectives on various scenes seen throughout the different parts of UtS if tht makes sense. i kinda called it pulling back the camera mentally while i was planning it the first time around (my example is... literally a scene i cant talk about bc it happens early in cheol UtS haha its not a major spoiler but i'll leave it obscure for now). theres some angst from tension planned tho that im rly looking forward to writing <3 but i think like... idk if its a major spoiler, but i feel like a huge part of UtS is acceptance? and i think that really comes through in poly fic <3

anyway!!! im literally gonna save a screenshot of this ask to like. remember forever. literally im still not over the fact ur asking to get a tattoo that incorporates my silly fic into it like thats literally the sweetest thing and honestly the kind of sentiment that most writers dream about!!! i hope u have a lovely day anon ty for making mine <3

I broke a cardinal sin. Whilst watching CRC1 ep 79 Thordak, I knew I was coming up to ep 80. And I heard that this episode was very divisive amongst the fandom. So I decided to read the comments for ep 80 just to see what was up, I dont care that much about being spoiled, a lot of what's going to happen in the campaign I've already been spoiled for thanks to reading a whole bunch of Vaxleth fanfiction. And the comments for ep 80 on youtube would have you believe that ep 80 is just the worst possible thing to happen ever. But after watching the episode, it really wasnt that bad. It was entertaining, I enjoyed it. Was it a total clusterfuck? ABSOLUTELY. From a game play standpoint, going after Raishan right after their battle with Thordak was not a great move, most of the spellcasters' good spells were already gone, no one was really in a good position to fight another dragon particularly a dragon as heavily magic based as Raishan. BUT from a story telling perspective, this was the right move for me, it made sense. I think sometimes people get so caught up in the game play of Critical Role, they kind of forget these are voice actors playing the game, none of them are necessarily playing this for game play or to necessarily be the "winner" of D&D. They're playing as characters living in this world, they're playing for story and story-telling. And I would be right along with them. I dont watch D&D for the gameplay, honestly, I find encounter episodes really boring and those are the episodes I'm listening to at work just to get through them. I'm in it for the story, for the character moments and nothing that happened at the tail end of ep 79 going into ep 80 shocked me or surprised me. Everyone acted accordingly to how their characters would act in the situation. Was it the right decision? Who can say? They were stuck between walls caving in and a ceiling crashing down on them metaphorically speaking. It was either trust Raishan and hope she wasnt doing anything hinky, or stop her before she did something that might or might not be hinky. Honestly, I dont know what I would've chosen to do. I mean, do you trust someone who's title is "The Diseased Deceiver" and hope they're not going to bring about another apocalypse? But Vax making the call in a very Vax manner made perfect sense to me. And it wasn't an actor of hubris or something like that as I saw in the youtube comments. It was based on pragmatism, vengeance, and a need to help Keyleth sort through her demons. It was a complicated decision on Vax's side. And Vax does what he does best, he acts. And all the Keyleth haters out there can say Keyleth is being a terrible leader by letting her hate guide her decisions but for one thing, Keyleth is still relatively young, the decimation of the fire ashari is really one of the first biggest traumas in her life besides the disappearance of her mother. People expecting her to make calculated decisions while undergoing this trauma after only a few weeks??? Well you tell me which is more realistic and which might be more meta gaming. (PS, dont really tell me, I'm just here to rant). And another thing, I feel Keyleth played a very small part in Vax's decision anyway. If I had to be honest, if Vax wasnt able to get through to Keyleth on the earring to find out what she wanted, he probably still would've tried to stop Raishan. Because that's who Vax is. Does he always think through his actions? No, but he sees a problem and he acts and that's who he is.

But anyway, enough with the ranting. Those were thoughts I had to get out. I'm not really looking to debate here on who was right and who was wrong, I think it's kind of a moot point at this juncture. This episode was a prime example of Vox Machina being who they are for better or worse. And that's what I'm here for. The Legend of Vox Machina, if you will.