#i dont care anymore
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I don't want to try anymore. Its like "whats even the point?" Nothing is ever going to work. Im never going ro get better. To be better. I've been trying so hard to get better, to not let my mind control me, but just when I think things are starting to improve I snap and end up right back where I started. Nothing is ever going to get better. I'm a lost cause. I'm too broken. I have too many problems. But it's all my own fault anyway. I wouldn't have any problems if I just tried harder. I wouldn't have an eating disorder if I just ate. I wouldn't have anxiety if I didn't dwell on the future. I wouldn't have depression if I didn't dwell on the past. The solution is to just be in the present. I don't seem like I have autism so it's probably not even real. I should just be normal. I just need to be better. It's not that difficult. I wouldn't be exhausted from trying to fix my problems if I didn't create them to start with. I don't have trauma, I'm just overreacting. Nothing even happened. I should stop wasting everyone's time telling them about my problems. I should tell them I'm better then leave so they don't have to deal with me anymore.
#tw depressive#tw depression#depressing poem#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#depressiv#anxceit#anxi4ty#anxienty#anxitey#anxeity#i dont care anymore#i want to disappear#why do i do this to myself#trauma#why am i like this#alone with my thoughts
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I have like 4 and a half hours left to finish my writing project i've been PUTTING OFF FOR A YEAR by now
Someone please yell at me to finish it, I can't let it stay untouched longer
#though writing kills me rn#it's about ex blorbos of mine#I dont care anymore#I wish it was Odysseus smh#I'm suffering#scoop talks
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The Fool
-
I've never felt so broken,
Like all my pieces are clashing inside.
You shook me,
And for a moment,
I thought I heard them click into place.
But I've been fooled by that sound before.
And the pain,
Unfortunately,
It's not as easily deceived..
x
#writing#poets on tumblr#spilled ink#heartbreak#poem#lovesick#mental health#sad thoughts#spilled thoughts#dark academia#i dont care anymore#i'm tired
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inro post:
hello! we are the flooded mind!, we are alexs ( @alex-is-gay0v0 ) mind, we have phone god (who has their own blog under @phonegod ), error, hope, aurorah, and alex ( @alex-is-gay0v0 )
bio:
(phone god and alex dont have one, i mean alex has one but it might be triggering)
error is phone gods brother, they never talk but they know each other exist, error was in foster care cause of his horns and tail, so the first time phone and error met phone god turned him into a glitch, and despite them never talking error lives in alexs head, he is also is alexs anxiety and depression.
not much is known about hope, but what is known is she and auorah are related, we dont know how but they are, hope was experimented on and is now a goat/angel hybrid, she also has alexs eyes but they glow gold, we sometimes wonder if hope is related to alex, hope is alexs hope and happiness.
again, not much is known about aurorah, she unlike hope was self experimented instead of by lab, she wanted to be special like hope since she remembered hope as the favorite child, (think of peter parker from spiderman across the spiderverse in universe Earth-65/gwen stacys best friend)but aurorah alexs anger and sadness.
rosella suffers from memory loss but does remember a few things, she does remember that she likes puppet alot kins her however, error and phone god were in the void and found her having a anxiety attack, she sees herself as herself but prefers being called puppet/marionette/charlie/charlotte, her shortened names are rose/rosey/rosell.
colors/emoji’s:
purple/☎️:phone god, blue/✝️:error, orange/🍊:hope red/👻:auorah, black/♦️:alex, green/🌹:rosella.
pronouns:
phone god:he/they/its.
error:it/its
aurorah:they/them.
hope:she/her.
alex: he/they
rosella: it/its
i am down to roleplay in dms. ( *cough* @british-randyjade-rambles / @theartshift *cough*)
⚠️CHARACTERS MIGHT BE ADDED AND INTRO POST WILL BE EDITED⚠️
⇩ocs⇩
#intro post#blog intro#oc lore#oc rp#i dont fucking know#i dont care anymore#introduction#introductory post#pinned intro#pinned post#read pinned#pinned bios#introducing myself
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okay it's offical im no longer paying attention to the manga. bsd will remain in my happy little fantasy and no one will force me to face reality.
#😭#i dont care anymore#my own little au where nothing happens after the guild arc and skk learn abt showing care n shit#and sskk is slow burn(but faster because i have a poor attention span)#and then in a slightly different universe kunizai is cute domestic couple and dazai learns abt healthy habits#and HAPPY. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY SHIT HAPPENS#😭😭😭#its MY hyperfixation that ive had for two years. Let me be 🤧#batrambles
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Végül eljutottam arra a pontra, hogy már teljesen hidegen hagy annak a gondolata, ha nem lesz többé olyan, hogy Mi.
@bcintia
#hungary#magyar#tumblr#tumblr hungary#saját#idézet#fájdalom#magyar tumblisok#szeretlek#why you do this to me#hate you#i dont want to be here#i dont care anymore#empty inside#leave me alooooone#leave me here to die
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I want to be so small that I disappear
I don't want anyone to perceive me
I don't want to exist
I don't want to be acknowledged
I want to be alone
I want to give up
I'm so tired of trying so hard to be something I never will be
#tw depressive#tw depression#depressing poem#sorry for being depressing#why do i do this to myself#depressing shit#feeling alone#alone with my thoughts#leave me alone#i want to disappear#i dont care#i dont care anymore#anxeity#anxitey#anxienty#anxi4ty#anxceit
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very soon one of these days im gonna end it.
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I don't want to draw anymore.
I don't want to be around anymore.
I want to stop existing.
I never wanted this. I never wanted to be their daughter. I never wanted to be born. I never asked to be part of this family.
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at the end of the day dnf will always be famous
at the end of the day dream has 30+ mil subs and george has 10+ and 5+ and they are one of the most influential and popular rpf ships of all time 😁😁😁😁
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Would you be ok if they made Garth’s story less emotionally brutal? Like if the titans were nicer, Arthur considered him a son from the start, Tula stayed alive or was brought back after she died, he was able to make more genuine friends?
I MEAN... like part of me does desperately want to see a universe where Garth is just chilling and nothing bad happens and his friends are nice to him. Like yeah absolutely.
But also him being doomed is what makes him an interesting character to me. I don't think I'd like him as much or even at all if his story was devoid of all drama.
That being said,,, I do think it'd be cool to see an elseworld where things are scrubbed a Little clean. yknow how the batfam have wfa? I desperately need that for the aquafam :')
#like yes i do actually want to just ignore all the bad angsty things that have happened and focus on family bonding#yes arthur jr is alive and garth gets to be an older brother#yes arthur and mera see both of them as legit sons#yes tula is still alive and her and garth get to be sickly in love#yes jackson is there and gets to bond with the whole family#yes orm gets to join in as the occasionally evil but still welcomed uncle#yes lorena is there too#i DONT CARE ANYMORE#aldhgljdga#answered#but anyway if we're talking like.. Canon and main story then honestly no#it being so dramatic and brutal is what makes him such an interesting character imo#And his whole deal was dramatic and sad Before it was cool like wow
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HEHHEEE HES SO CUTE !! (picture of the ugliest and creepiest looking character you could imagine)
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leaves twitter because of the discourse
comes to tumblr and there's still discourse
my babygirls
make love to each other
eat a kidney
embrace faggotry
drink some water and let people exist
#.faeposting#twitter refugee#twitter refugees#discourse#guys im so tired#queer discourse#i dont care anymore#let people exist
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TW: Weight issues, ED (tags too, please be aware)
I wish i was skinny. I wish i was able to walk into a store and buy nice clothes for myself that actually look good on me. I wish i was able to walk into a food store just to buy water without overthinking about the fact that people are staring at me and calling me names. I wish i was able to walk around without constantly having a voice in my head telling me people are looking at everything i do and that i look weird when i walk. I wish i was able to scroll on an app without hating myself for not looking like the people on my screen. I wish i was able to go and get food in public by myself without thinking about what other people are probably saying about me. I wish i didn't have to constantly fantasize about being ill so that my body would make me skinnier. I wish that when people saw me, i was a human being and not just the funny friend, the cuddly bear, the replaceable friend, or the giant ugly beast that people love to point at and laugh.
I wish i was skinny cause then i could live and feel like a human and not have to constantly hate myself for not being me.
#im so mental tired from having to constantly think about everything i do#so that people dont see me as a weird person#i want to sleep at night#i want to be normal#i want to be skinny#i want to be skinny to the point of my bones showing and my skin to be as thin as paper#i dont care anymore#i want to be ill#i hate what i look like#just let me be small#let me feel wanted#please
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I feel like I'm never going to be okay. Like I'll never be able to fully trust anyone. Like all of my problems are going to be with me forever. And those problems are going ro make it hard for anyone to like me. Because I push them away when they get close. I feel like I'm too broken and I can't be fixed. I can't keep fighting myself. I feel like everyone else should just give up on me. I'm too difficult to deal with. I create problems. I fight back. I'm too stubborn. I don't know how to let myself be loved. I don't even know how to love myself. I only see my flaws and problems. And there's so many. I'm a problem. I'm a mistake. I'm unlovable. I'm unfixable. I feel like nothing will ever be okay. I'm going to have to keep forcing it and faking it for the rest of my life. And the rest of my life feels so long and unbearable and overwhelming and unrealistic. I don't think I can do it. I don't want to do it. I'm tired. I'm done. But I can't do anything because there's people in my life now who want to fix me. It's only a matter of time before they give up. Before I'm able to push them away. Before I can disappear from their lives. Before everything comes crashing down. Before they hate me.
I am trying so hard to keep it all together and it's exhausting. But I know I'll feel better if I let it go, and I want to. But you can't do both at the same time. You can't keep it together and let it go. It just leaves me stuck in this spiral and I feel like I'm drowning. I feel like I'm stuck here and it's never going to get better. Like I'll never get out of the spiral. But I know I can. I've done it before. But even though I've gotten out of the sppiral in the past, I'm back in it now. It makes me feel like "what's even the point in trying?" I feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm letting everyone else waste their time.
#i want to disappear#i dont care anymore#why do i do this to myself#depressing shit#tw depressive#tw depression#depressing poem#sorry for being depressing#feeling alone#alone with my thoughts#leave me alone
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