#i don't usually think this much/it tends to be subconscious... the vision i have for a character just innately influences how i draw them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

priestessofcreation · 6 months

Text

The Dreamer With the Power of a Goddess

This is a trope/archetype I CAN'T FIND A NAME FOR ANYWHERE. So I decided to write an essay on it instead. This is also the trope/archetype I identify with more than anything but moving on.

The basic framework for this trope is:

A girl who tends to be really quiet, shy, kind, sweet, and empathetic

They have a HUGE imagination

They tend to be INFP's, which is why there is an emphasis on compassion and imagination in their character

This imagination pours out into raw, goddess-like power, usually creative in nature (but that can vary)

This power is limitless

This power is inherently tied to all that they are internally, including their emotions

This power, when unable to be controlled, is a sizable threat to other people around her

Due to the power's size, trauma, or lack of trust from the people around her, the Dreamer usually struggles with controlling the power inside of them.

This leads them to develop big self-trust issues, and may even lead them to thinking they are a monster

People scared by their power will often call for their immediate execution because "no one should have that power"

They manage to learn how to control their power in the end

So I am going to give a few examples (though they don't all manifest the same way), and one runner-up.

1) Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch (MCU version)

Wanda Maximoff is the quintessential example of this character. No matter the canon, Wanda has the ability to reshape reality as we know it. In the MCU, Wanda's biggest escape were sitcoms - especially ones that emphasized normal family life - because her life was one difficult, horrible, traumatic event after another. Her escape was a very specific version of storytelling.

To add to that, with every bout of grief Wanda suffered, her goals in life changed. She lost her parents, she joined HYDRA to take down Tony Stark. She lost her brother, she joined the Avengers (that Tony funds) to protect the world. She lost Vision, she transformed Westview. She lost her kids (and Vision again), she tried to use highly dangerous and corruptive magics to find her family again.

Every step she took was either to avenge or recreate family. Sitcoms were the thing that gave Wanda this. She dreamed of a normal, happy, safe, healthy family and as a result, the power of her imagination and creative abilities made just that for her. Unfortunately, when she is using her power from a place of grief, she can take away people's free will, imprison them in another reality, and she can be corrupted by darker forces.

In the comic we have the infamous "No More Mutants" moment because she has been driven insane with grief.

Grief is Wanda's biggest flaw and hurtle in any medium she is in. She has the power of a goddess, but she has only dreamt of having a safe and normal life. As a result, she fits the archetype well but has yet to actually (in the MCU) reach the point where she masters herself and as a result, her powers. But the fact that she has to master herself is proof that her power is tied to her emotions.

When Westview was made, it was her making it. But it was formed subconsciously of her own pain and grief. She didn't choose to imprison all these people (though she certainly chose to stay that way). What we saw was Wanda's inner world spilling out all across Westview. Sitcoms, the last source she had of happiness and family.

When she realized she was hurting everyone, she retook control of her powers and relinquished this paradise she had built for herself. She took responsibility for her actions as much as she possibly could.

2) Elsa, the Fifth Spirit (Frozen/Frozen 2)

Elsa's entire arc is about her magic. From mastering it to discovering what it is actually for. It is inherently tied to her emotions, and more importantly, whether she trusts herself or not.

If she believes fear is the enemy, she cannot control her powers because she believes fear is the thing making it uncontrollable.

If she believes conceal, don't feel, don't let it show, it has a limited amount of control over her magic.

If she believes she is safe and in control, she is in control.

Also, more than that, Elsa is an artist. This has been established in the Frozen 2 art book. Elsa is a literal artist who makes her own clothes, her own castles, her own snow guard, and so much more.

However, as we all know, Elsa's magic is winter. She does not have raw creative power like Wanda Maximoff. Everything she makes is created of aspects of winter - snow, ice, wind. However, Elsa still fits the bill for this trope because where her imagination goes, her magic goes. It is all just made of raw winter.

Now to say she is a dreamer... is not really something that can be established until Frozen 2, if that. Elsa's character - as many people like to argue - has always been regal, responsible, pragmatic. However, it could also be argued that she was this way because of the trauma created by her childhood and powers. She had to be in control at all times.

However, I will make one argument in the dreamer direction... Elsa's power aren't truly in balance until she can live out in nature full-time. The girl froze an entire sea with her power by the end of the movie. Nature is... wild, free, limitless in its power, and has no rules to speak of. Elsa lived her life with only rules for so long and by the end, she has no rules at all to hold her back (in my opinion, love, connection, community, and companionship are not the same thing as rules).

Elsa is, effectively, her magic. They are one and the same. Which means to have such a wild force inside her is an indicator that Elsa was always wild to begin with. She just also loves fiercely, which is why she was so controlled for a lot of her character arc.

3) Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons (Game of Thrones/ASOIAF)

Okayyy, I am going to be referencing the show a lot because I have only read the first book of the series.

Daenerys, before she married Drogo and gets her dragon eggs, is the definition of a dreamer. She's in an abusive situation with her brother resulting in her having to insulate. A lot. She is a young girl who dreams of home, just like her brother. Except while he dreams of dragons and Westeros, she dreams of Braavos and the lemon tree.

The two main reasons I give her the "dreamer" label: 1) Dany has been typed as an INFP over and over and over 2) Her evolution throughout the first book is, in part, the strengthening of her faith. Rising strength, prophetic dreams, and the return of dragons to the world at the end. It all required Dany to trust in herself and the guidance she received all those months traveling with her khalasar.

Magic happens for Dany a lot. Whether she is the Prince that was Promised or not, this cannot be denied. When they receive the dragon eggs at her wedding, those dragons could have impacted either her or her brother. Yet she was the one absorbing the power, getting the dreams, and getting stronger. The dragon magic made her more of what she already was.

The dreamer part (in terms of imagination) really came out at the end of the first book when she brought dragons back in the world. She performed a ritual off of intuition alone that had been lost to the centuries. So many had tried to restore dragons to no avail. But it was when the last dragon dynasty was truly gone and the last dragon herself was at her lowest that the power of the dragons was returned. Dreamers have faith and Dany has loads of it.

The goddess part does not come out in creation. It comes out in her dragons and in her leadership. I'm not trying to argue that Dany should be worshipped, but I am arguing that she fits the trope. All three dragons grow to immense side and it only takes one to level a whole city in under an hour. Yet, it is Dany's natural mercy that restraints what damage is done. Don't get me wrong - Dany has done damage. But it is her strength balanced with her kindness that prevents that power from being used the wrong way.

She has the destructive power of a goddess, and thankfully the wisdom to go with it (for now).

However, the fear that she is a monster is there. She went too far with crucifying the masters. Her dragons attacked innocent people, and almost her as well. She fears she will be a tyrant and a monster like her father. Yet, she is also learning that sometimes her strength is needed. Considering how much power she has amassed, she is going to be struggling with this conflict for the rest of her life.

4) Persephone, Goddess of Spring & Queen of the Underworld

Persephone is, archetypally, considered a dreamer by definition. As a child, she tends to be introvertive, quiet, and has a rich inner world. She was raised by a goddess who emphasizes community and the everyman, instilling in Persephone a sense of empathy for other people.

She is already a "goddess" at the beginning of her myth. However, by the end, she is both Goddess of Spring and Queen of the Underworld. Whilst her power is not as creative as a few of the other examples, it is immense in its scope because it is the cycle of life and death itself. She raises life and descends with the dead. She cycles with the seasons and the gifts/struggles they bring. She rises into the living for half the year and watches over the dead for the other half. She has an immense responsibility.

Now, I cannot quite say whether the character fears her own power or not. In some modern retellings, she has such power that she fears (partially because her mother teaches her to). Rachel Smythe's Lore Olympus leans into the trope of limitless power for Persephone a lot more, whereas Nikita Gill's Great Goddesses puts an emphasis on her power of decay and death as something Persephone fears in herself.

Persephone's story is considered to be one of trauma. However, by the end of it, her quiet, kind nature is the thing that thrives and is reborn when she steps into her full, goddess power. She embraces all of herself and uses it all for the domain over which she rules.

Runner-up:

Riley Blue, August 8th Cluster (Sense8)

Riley is close. But not quite because she doesn't actually have goddess-like power.

However, I would like to argue that her power can touch just as much people. She is a DJ and when she takes to the stage, she can change a whole room. Riley's power is connection and she uses her music and her love to do just that.

She is a woman who has suffered immense grief and trauma. However, when she is at her best... she can help people escape. She can start revolutions.

Her music can change the whole world.

#fiction #sense8 #greek mythology #mcu #marvel #frozen #frozen 2 #game of thrones #asoiaf #tropes #writing #storytelling

25 notes · View notes

elliot-needs-sleep · 1 year

Text

Blacked Out Music

Fandom: MHA

Summary: Izuku Midoriya never knew his father, and his mom never had a chance to tell him before she died in a villain attack when he was a boy.

So when he gets adopted by his best friend's parents, he doesn't think much of it until ten months before the UA Entrance Exam when his quirk magically manifests as he's trying to protect his brother.

Watch as my terrible writing and fandom fueled madness get Izuku stuck in a lot of weird conflicts as he tries to be the best hero, and makes friends along the way!

(Aka I dislike posting on ao3 and maybe I'll actually FINISH THIS DAMN STORY if I post it here)

---

Chapter 1: Since When Did I Have a Quirk?!

----

I walk the long way home from the school, having ditched Kacchan at the school gates to go hang out with his friends, I just wanted to go home.

The wind blows my hair into my face as I walk down the streets, green and yellow mixing in my vision as I try to get it out of my eyes.

It wasn't long til I reached the suburbs outside of Aldera, and I eventually lost focus of where I was heading. I mean, making the same walk every day six days a week does tend to be boring.

I walk under an overpass, humming slightly as I walked, before everything suddenly got cold, and I became uneasy.

I'm almost out of the tunnel when I hear a weird noise behind me, like a sloshing sound, and I make the worst mistake and turn.

Rising from the ground, soon towering over me, was a villain. He seemed to be made of sludge almost, eyes and a mouth being the only features I could see.

I took a step back, ready to run, when he spoke, and I knew I was in trouble.

"You'll make a perfect skin suit for me to hide in, kid!" The villain says from in front of me, and I try to turn tail and run.

I don't even make it three steps before I'm caught, or enveloped, the sludge invading my mouth and nose, making it impossible to breathe, let alone scream for help.

"Don't worry, I'm just taking over your body," The gruff voice starts as I struggle, trying to find purchase on the weird sludge. "It'll be easier for both of us if you don't fight back. It'll only hurt for a minute, you'll feel better soon!"

Fear roots itself in my heart, and the only thought running through my head is 'I don't want to die.'

I fight, trying to break my arms free at the least, if only so I can fight back against the villain trying to use me as a stupid skin suit, but he only laughs at my attempts.

"Grab all you want, my body's made of fluid. Thanks for the help, you're a real hero to me, kid." I struggle harder at the sarcasm in his tone now angry too.

"I didn't know HE was in the city. I've gotta get out of here before he hunts me down." The villain mumbles, and spots start to invade my vision from the lack of oxygen.

I hear a manhole cover hit the roof of the tunnel, and the villain turns. A man is crouched on one knee in front of us.

"Have no fear citizen! Now that I am here, that is!" All Might says, now standing on his feet, and I can feel my panic lessen.

I black out, a dull ache appearing in the back of my skull as the darkness slowly embraces me, and I swear I hear Kacchan's voice.

"Live, or I'll kill you." He says from my subconscious, but I'm too far gone to acknowledge him.

-----------------------------------

I wake up on the dirty concrete, the dull ache still in the back of my skull as I sit up from my spot, and All Might kneels in front of me, lightly tapping my face.

"Hey! Wake up! Hey!" I blink slowly, not really comprehending anything yet. Blacking out due to lack of oxygen tends to do that to you.

"Thought we lost you for a minute there!" He laughs loudly, and I shuffle back a bit, now blinking rapidly as I try to piece together what happened.

"Sorry about what happened back there! I didn't mean to get you caught up in my justicing, usual I keep more attention on keeping bystanders safe, but it turns out this city's sewer system is pretty difficult to navigate!" He laughs loudly as he apologizes, and I'm practically star struck. I'm..... I'm talking with All Might?!

"Anyway! You were a big help, thank you! I've captured the evil doer!" He holds up two soda bottles, filled with the liquid of the sludge villain. Kinda gross, really.

"Well, I've gotta get this villain to the police so they can take care of him. Stay out of trouble, see you around!" He waves curtly and starts to stretch.

"Wait!" I call out, scrambling to my feet as I ignore the protest of my limbs. The tall hero turns back around to face me.

"Yes, young civilian?" He asks, warmth in his voice. His eyes are shadowed, and his smile seems eerily wide. But I guess that's just how he looks normally, its just a bit weirder up close.

"Do you think I can become a hero, even without a quirk?" I ask softly, picking my school bag up off of the ground and one of my hero notebooks with it.

There's a short pause, and his answer reassures everything I've ever been taught.

"No, I don't think you can."

He's gone before I can yell, curse, do something to prove that I can, so I just pull out my phone and dial Kacchan's number.

"Hey, izu, the hell are you?" His voice makes me breathe a sigh of relief.

"I took the long way, remember. Where are you? I really need to talk."

-----------------------------------

I spot Kacchan's spikey hair on the corner, and I move to wave to him as he makes a motion to kick something.

In the blink of an eye, most of his body is encased in a substance the colour of mud.

The sludge villain. But didn't All Might take care of that?

There's several loud bangs, and small flashes of light coming from the general area that Kacchan's in. He's fighting back.

There's fire now as I try to push through the crowd, Kacchan's work being a serious downfall for the other heros on the scene.

None of the pros that have shown up are helping, and after a minute of absolutely nothing happening, my feet begin to move before I even know what I'm doing.

I fling my bag at the villain with a shout, and something incredibly weird happens before I can realize what's going on.

The shout materializes into a physical object, a barrier, cutting the villain's slime like body in two.

Kacchan wastes no time in blowing up the rest of it, coughing and hacking once he can breathe again, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

We both move back as All Might shows up, once again capturing the villain, and I waste no time bolting straight for Kacchan.

"Kacchan!" I yell, rushing to my brother and pulling him into a tight hug.

His arms wrap themselves around me, twitching slightly from over usage of his quirk.

"Izu.... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" He yells, pulling away from me and shaking me violently.

"I don't know! I just... Yelled?" A pro runs up to us, moving us back to the other pros on the scene as they put the fire out.

"Young man, I get that this is your brother, but using your quirk in a fight is incredibly irresponsible and illegal." He says.

I nod, and he leaves to help with the destruction as I stand there for a moment before grinning.

"I'm not quirkless! I can be a hero!" The joyful laughter bubbles from my throat before I can stop it, and it earns a proud laugh from the teen beside me.

He wraps me in a hug again, rocking from side to side slowly.

"You're not just a nerd anymore! I'm helping you train it, you got that? We have ten months till the entrance exams for UA, and I'll be damned if you don't get in there with me." I pull away, tears starting to streak their way down my face.

"I'll be happy to fight by your side, Kacchan!"

-----------------------------------

After a long lecture and some congratulations from the heroes on scene, we finally made our way back home.

"I can't believe your quirk manifested while you were trying to protect me." Kacchan laughs slightly, hands shoved in his school uniform pockets.

"It's cause your one of the only people who've ever believed in me, besides mom and dad, of course. You've always been the one I'm most terrified of losing." I shrug, blowing a strand of green and yellow hair out of my eyes for the millionth time today alone.

I start explaining what happened on my walk back, what lead up to me calling him to meet up somewhere.

"All Might?! You fucking met him?!" Kacchan shakes my arm, and I nod, remembering the bitter encounter when the Symbol of Peace crushed my dreams just over an hour ago.

"He told me I could never be a hero without a quirk. I was attacked by the the same villain as you were, which means he dropped the ball." I cross my arms, shoving my bag further up my shoulder.

"That son of a..." Kacchan growls, but I only shrug. I'm used to that kind of treatment.

"Let's go home, Izu. Explain to mom and dad that you apparently have a quirk, and then figure out what the fuck we're going to do next, especially if you still have your eyes on U.A." He adds on, and we continue on towards home.

Kacchan was always really good with training and things like that, so I tended to follow what he told me to do anyways. What would be any different?

"All right! Plus, I need to listen to Present Mic's radio show!" I start to run, knowing the show starts in just less then an hour, and we were still a little ways away from home.

"Alright, we'll get you home in time to listen to your favourite hero." Kacchan laughs, easily keeping up with my pace.

-----------------------------------

It took awhile to explain to our parents what had happened, and they promised us a proper celebration tomorrow night. Unfortunately, they had already eaten by the time Kacchan and I got back, so I made do with the curry he made us.

Not that I was making do with his food, considering he was a wickedly talented cook on top of everything else he was good at.

Currently, I sit at my desk while he sits on my bed, quietly listening to Present Mic's show.

I sketch designs in the sketchbook in front of me, quietly designing what I wanted my hero costume to look like.

That is, if I can even get into UA...

I pause, humming slightly in discontentment. Katsuki looks up from his phone, an eyebrow raised.

"What's up, baby brother?" He questions, and I playfully glare at him.

"You're just over three months older then me, not a decade." I huff, and he shrugs, smiling slightly.

"It's not my fault that you act like a five year old fanboy, Izu. Now, what's up?" He doesn't miss a single beat, not letting me off the hook.

"That's unfair, you know me too well," I sigh, spinning my chair to the right so I can face him properly. "I'm just thinking of the exam for UA. What if I can't gain control over my quirk? Everyone else has had probably close to a decade, and I only have ten months!" I start to fret, and he raises himself from my mattress and walks over to me.

"Oi, look at me." I stare into his eyes as he continues talking.

"You're an incredibly fast learner, Izu. We have just under a year to work this out, and I know you will. Because you always do." He pulls me into a slight hug before backing off and flopping back down on my mattress.

"Thank you, Kacchan.... I needed that." I smile at him, turning back to my sketchbook and replacing it with a notebook.

"So... My quirk seems to be voice activated, and from what I can tell, the letters of the word form the object.... Like, the barrier was just 'AHHH' because I shouted, not trying to say any specific thing. I think, to avoid it activating randomly and possibly breaking things or hurting someone, I could use sign language cause I already know JSL, but that is a problem for future me because I've only used it once so far..." I mutter, starting to write out details in the notebook, Kacchan listening closely.

"You really need to get a career in analyzing if this whole hero thing doesn't work out," He laughs, and then continues "But if you're going to overthink it, you could start with something simple. Like trying to form barriers."

It wasn't that hard to make ideas of what I could do, considering this is pretty much what I've been doing since I was in elementary school.

"What if we tried making whips? So I can pull objects towards me or pull myself towards things? And then we can work on incorporating it into our workouts!" I start to scribble out a semi detailed plan, or, as detailed as a plan can get when I only know know the bare essentials of a quirk I've only used once in a blind panic.

"You need to focus on the present, Izu. And don't push yourself too far. You still need to get good grades for the next ten months." He reminds, and I nod.

Kacchan stands up again, peering over my shoulder at the scribbled down ideas, barely readable.

"Those are good ideas, nerd." He lightly punches me in the shoulder, and I stick my tongue out at him.

"Says you, mister 'eight o'clock bedtime'." I laugh, and he rolls his eyes, shoving me.

"Oh, shut it." I snicker slightly, shoving him back with my shoulder as he adds a small note to the bottom of the book.

'Keep fighting for who you want to be. I'll always be proud of you.'

"I knew you had a soft spot!" I joke, and he blinks a few times before staring down at me.

"Izu, you've known me for over a decade. What gave it away? Was it me getting suspended several times for protecting you, or was it the saying 'I love you' because you're my brother?" He deadpans, and that makes me laugh.

"Actually, I think it was the you almost getting expelled from Aldera because you threatened a teacher because she was quirkist towards me." His eyes narrow slightly in slight disgust at the memory.

"In my defence, she was a disgusting bitch who didn't deserve to be in our presence. I'm glad mom got her fired." He huffs, crossing his arms as he stands properly.

"Don't forget dad's reaction to finding out! That was one of the only times I've ever heard him yell, and it terrifies me to this day." I shudder, remembering the raw anger in dad's voice as he yelled at the school board for employing her in the first place.

"Yeah, that was kind of scary." Kacchan shrugs, patting me on the back before heading back to collapse on my mattress once more.

"Is your ringtone still me screaming 'Do your fucking best'?" Kacchan questions randomly as I pull out my phone, and to answer his question, I play the ringtone.

Kacchan's loud voice rings through the room, and there's a slight silence before we both burst out laughing.

"Wait... You do realize that you're going to have to register you're quirk before the exams, right?" Kacchan realizes, and I groan, remembering the form and the waiting that he had to go through a few years back.

"That's going to suck." I stand up, walking over to the bed, dragging him off, and taking his spot.

"I mean, yeah, but it's what comes with having a quirk." He shrugs, sitting up from the floor as if I hadn't just shoved him off my bed.

"I'll enjoy every minute." I smile slightly, already accepting the idea of the tedious wait. Not that it would be too long, considering it's not like I'm updating a previously stated quirk, I'm literally starting from scratch.

It meant that I could do what I wanted to do with my life, so why wouldn't I enjoy it?

For the next ten months, I'd have endless exercise and preparation.

Kacchan walked out, saying something about homework needing to be done, so I just lay back in my chair and listen to my favorite hero talk on the radio, enjoying my last true evening of rest.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

#elliotiswriting #mha izuku #mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #izuku midoriya #kind of a crack fic at this point #but I don't care

3 notes · View notes

crashed-keys · 2 years

Text

okay so i have possible candidates for reigen arcanas just based off what im reading from the wiki (i'll put a read more so ppl dont have to actually look at this these are just thoughts):

moon: [...]the Moon Arcana is associated with creativity, inspiration, dreams, madness, illusions, fear, fantasy, the subconscious and trickery. In tarot readings, it can also represent being attuned subconsciously to the world around, gaining the ability to sense things without being told about them or without anyone else knowing (which means that some identify this Arcana with psychic energy). [...] Characters who are of the Moon Arcana are often similarly psychically-attuned, but a more common trend is their projection of their own fears and faults onto others (namely, the protagonist). They often tend to have trouble accepting themselves for who they are and, because of that fear, try to correspond to an ideal person. And like the Arcana, there is a hidden depth as to why they act in their behaviors.

yeah! i'd buy this one i think i like this interpretation for him a lot

devil: Human characters associated with the Devil Arcana are often "devilish" individuals; they can be greedy, proud, lustful, or otherwise of poor character. It is not uncommon for this type of character to have somewhat of an antisocial tendency, often not caring much for the needs or well-being of others. Although this is true, they are also characters that are committed to a cause, usually being their work, with motivations behind their cause that are usually benign, if not outright benevolent.

devil is a very obvious choice for him, and i think this one does embody reigen especially leading up to the separation arc pretty decently? with his like. i am going to treat mob terribly actually and ive lost sight of what i actually wanted until he leaves and forces me to reflect on myself. like hes obviously not as awful as tanaka (who quite literally scammed a teenager out of 70k), or sayoko who keeps hitting on you for some fucking reason. but. yk

fortune: Human characters of the Fortune Arcana are usually individuals with prodigious abilities who have lost sight of who they truly wanted to be as a result of too much pressure from individuals close to them, and need to rediscover the reasons for their chosen work by reconciling their past and present.

i sorta mentioned this already in the last point but. yeah

magician: In tarot readings, the Magician Arcana is commonly associated with action, initiative, self-confidence, immaturity, manipulation, and power (more specifically, the power to harness one's talents).

im not exactly sure he has "strong vision and aspiration for the future and the plan they've envisioned", as the wiki states most magician arcanas are: he would have quit spirits and such entirely due to boredom had it not been for mob's appearance. he doesn't really canonically have any romantic interests (then again, i'm pretty sure yuka doesn't either, and i don't have to exactly follow newsona standards), but i do think the aspect of vast self-confidence stumbling in the face of losing your footing towards your goals fits. also he's mob's first friend so do with that what you will

#adri.txt #i dont actually know if this is a long post. but whatever #do i tag this? no im embarrassed

9 notes · View notes

tokyoghoose · 4 years

Text

something that never was

pairing: daisuke kambe x reader

playlist: even if it's a lie - matt maltese*, a soulmate who wasn't meant to be - jessica benko, the less i know the better - tame impala, id rather go blind - beyonce ( cadillac records ), the house we never built - gabrielle aplin*, i cant make you love me - dave thomas junior, i go crazy - orla gartland, blow my brains out - tikkle me, hidden in the sand - tally hall

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating,

summary: the coldness he radiates gets the best of you, ultimately leading to the end.

announcements!

i dont really see daisuke cheating unless it was a misunderstanding or smth, but i liked the idea of this fic. Let me know what you think!

you can tell i didnt write this in a sitting lol. Im vv sorry if it's hard to follow!

feedback is welcome and appreciated! requests are open!

There's a warm body beside you, yet the bed feels cold. The arm around your waist feels almost as foreign as the face in front of you. It hurts to look at him, to feel him. It hurts to even be around him. He's so beautiful but he feels like half the man he once was. It's disheartening.

Maybe the saying, what you don't know can't hurt you is correct because you were feeling the repercussions right about now. Curiosity really did kill the cat, and at this point, you don't even know how to get satisfaction from it. How does one bring up cheating to their partner? Especially when the partner is like Daisuke.

He likes to brush things off without paying a price except for whatever was in his bank account, the type to hand you a card and say 'go get yourself something pretty.' And it wasn't like he was a bad lover, in fact, it was very easy to fall in love with him. He has a charm about him that's magnetic, one glance and suddenly it's impossible to look away. Or at least that was your experience.

With the final confirmation that closing your eyes will do nothing other than bringing pictures into your head, you turn your back to him and try and distance your body from his. It doesn't do anything to help when he pulls you closer subconsciously, except for maybe it makes you want to cry.

You'd confront him tomorrow, you decided.

If you need to.

———

The pace you set is leisure and if kt wasn't for the poor nail bed quickly coming to nothing, it'd seem like you weren't completely losing your head. It's all you can think about. Daisuke out with some girl—who you know for a fact isn't his sister, and who is all over him. He didn't even make a move to push her off! He hates that kind of attention so if he didn't object it, then he was asking for it. He wanted the girl on his side. In fact, for someone who insists the other person sits across from him at a restaurant- he looked quite comfortable with her nearly in his lap.

Maybe you're overthinking this, y/n.

The door clicks open and your ears strain to hear the sound of Daisuke's dress shoes. He's rather indulgent when it comes to dressing wear and the shoes were practically silent, even with the short heel on the back.

"I'm home." He says to no one particular, taking off his trenchcoat and hanging it on the rack beside the door. He stops his path to the bedroom when he sees you frozen in place and staring in the living room. He merely quirks a brow, going to take off his suit and tie.

Suddenly you can't speak and you have tunnel vision. It's unfair how calm he always looks—it's almost smug like he knows everything about you and more. Like he can read your mind and tell you your darkest thoughts and when you'll die because let's be honest, it'll probably be by his hand. Maybe you should back out now before you can say anything. Forget it all because what if you're mistaken? The more you think, the more weight is added onto your shoulders and the more it pushes you down, down further into the hole you want to crawl into. Maybe you should let it because all you want to do now is escape his piercing gaze. His eyes are studying you, taking in your form and the cogs in his brain are turning to find an explanation as to why you are standing there like a psychopath and not welcoming him home like you usually do.

You feel like you're drowning. Is the light getting dimmer? The black around your vision only seems to close in around Daisuke and you try to look anywhere else but his face. There's water in your ears, the popping of them only intensifies until you can feel it pounding into your head with faint static.

Am I going to pass out?

It's not until his hand comes down gently on your shoulder that the closing circle of vision widens out and suddenly all the imaginary water rushes from your ears. You glance down at his rings before back up him, barely catching the end of his words.

"Are you alright?"

He's never been one to beg, so you would have to answer now or he'll leave it be for the rest of the night and probably months after until you're like this again.

"I-can we talk?"

He eyes you suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and keeping his brow raised before nodding, slipping his tie off around his neck, folding it neatly into the palm of his hand. He gestures for you to start the conversation, going to the minibar curving around the kitchen and living area.

When you don't reply he urges you on, "Why so tense? Did something happen, darling?"

It'd seem like he didn't really care from how cold his voice was, but you've grown accustomed to the monotone to know that he truly is concerned for your health. He genuinely wants to know why you're acting so odd. It only makes this so much harder? You're wrong- you have to be. This must be a sick trick your brain has played on you. Or he must be playing some sick trick.

Anxiety settles itself into your gut and it seems like it won't leave anytime soon.

"Daisuke, are...- are you cheating on me?"

His eyebrows finally go lax but he doesn't look up from unbuttoning the cuffs of his white button-down. His fingers fidget at the buttons and instead of the previous loose form, his hand forms a fist.

"I- "

"Why—exactly, are you accusing me of this?"

His gaze sends chills down your spine. He's offended but he doesn't offer a defense. Suddenly your mouth is dry and you lose all your words? How exactly were you going to tell him you stumbled across him and some woman in a restaurant and practically stared them down for fifteen minutes.

You decide the bear it and swallow a lump that has formed in your throat.

"You were with a woman earlier this week snd well, the displays of affection that I saw were not very like you. You've been gone for long hours and even if you blamed it on the new job, Daisuke—you never tell me anything. Is she for a case? Are you using her for information? Go on, tell me about it. Give me a reason not to accuse you."

You regain your confidence but it falters when you meet his indifferent expression. You'd prefer it if he looked angry and the silence that fills the room is deafening and the tension suffocating.

"I can't tell you anything about our cases-"

"I'm your partner! What am I going to do? Rat you out to whoever is breaking the law? Why would I even how those connections, Daisuke?"

Daisuke inhales deeply through his nose like this whole conversation is a burden on him and you can't help but feel like a burden too. Was this relationship not worth the time to talk this out? One hand grips the bar and the other pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You aren't my partner, you're my fiance. My partner and I work together. So, no. I can't tell you about the cases."

You want to rip out your hair. This isn't about his stupid job or his stupid partner. This is about the dumb fucking restaurant and the dumb fucking woman who was hanging off him.

He can't actually be this dense!

"It's not about that! Either you aren't getting the point or you keep changing the subject because it's true!" Your voice rises in pitch, your confidence failing and turning more so into desperation. But you aren't crying yet. There are no tears and your eyes are dry and you absolutely refuse to cry in front of a Kambe.

It's like the beginning of your relationship all over again. A protective barrier around yourself so you don't get hurt and offended by his cold shoulder. Was it so bad to think you've moved on from that feeling? Why is it so difficult for him to just comfort you and push back those fears? Is he that emotionally stunted? You may not know much about his past and his family, but damn— at least you're trying to work through it with him. Can he put out a little more effort?

All he does is pour himself a glass. All he does... is pour himself a glass.

"You know what- forget it. If you're so entitled and so emotionally reserved that you can't even talk to me without a drink first, then I guess we'll talk about it another time—when you don't look like my voice gives you a headache."

Daisuke actually looks taken back by your words and you suddenly feel bad for hitting a sore spot. He may not have shown it often, but he doesn't particularly like not being able to show his true emotions; no matter the reason being.

"Y/N, wait.."

But you're back on adrenaline just as soon as he felt a drop, pushing past him to get to your coat. You just needed to calm down before you said something you'd truly regret. Words tended to stay in his mind much longer than they were intended to.

"I'm staying at my mother's. Don't call me, don't text me, don't come near me until you're ready to tell me what the hell you were doing with her. "

When he doesn't say anything more and you can practically hear the cogs in his head turn, you make your way out there door, making sure to slam it shut.

You slip on the coat angrily, slamming open the door without sparing him a glance but waiting for him to say something. Anything. Were you being too rash? You shake your head and scold yourself, mentally. You can't just turn around now, not after an outburst like that. He has to learn something from this.

Irrational or not, hopefully, his true colors would show.

#daisuke kambe fic #daisuke kambe fanfic #daisuke x reader #daisuke kambe x reader #daisuke kambe imagine #daisuke imagine #balance unlimited x reader #balance unlimited fanfiction #balance unlimited fanfic #balance unlimited imagine #balance unlimited #fugou keiji balance: unlimited imagine #fugou keiji x reader #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #fugō keiji balance: unlimited x reader #mickie writes

732 notes · View notes

chaotichedonist · 3 years

Text

Tharunka (Kensington, NSW : 1953 - 2010)

Wednesday 9 June 1976, page 14

Some funny moments to tease you into reading:

Press: Roger, you're noted for your amazing screams.

Freddie: It's a controlled scream. I'd rather call it art.

Freddie: You're joking dear. I'm just a singer, dear.

It’s been a struggle, because in the beginning nobody knew what we were doing. We were the only people who believed in ourselves.

back at the hotel sleazy

For all those fans who were misled by the media, Queen did not spend a couple of days-relaxing on sunny Perth beaches - it rained the whole bloody time they were there. (In Melbourne the hotel was 'besiged' by fans, who to quote Pete Brown — Queen's personal manager — seemed to be emerging from the wood work). Not to be put off however, by the Australian conditions Freddie Mercury (lead vocals and keyboards) attended the press conference in white pants and a simply sumptuous summer synthetic top with delicate butterfly sleeves curling gently over his shoulders. He was even more beautiful than Sophia Loren.

They were all quite chatty only Roger (Meadows-Taylor, the drummer) would keep interjecting, usually over John Deacon (bass) who said not an audible word.

Press: Would you describe your music as mock opera?

Freddie: They call it cock-opera back home.

Roger: I suppose because the vocals are in the 'grand style'.

Press: When is your next album coming out?

Freddie: We'll have a rest and think about it..

Roger: We just don't bung'em together.

Brian: We don't sort of write sitting in hotel rooms you know.

Freddie: We gather influences.

Press: Your music has been described as snob rock. What do you think?

Freddie: I couldn't describe our music as anything. We certainly don't put across that this it intelligent music that is on a completely differenrt level to the people who come to it.

Roger: It's written for the people. That's what it's all about.

Press: The theme of death recurs on your albums. Why this preoccupation?

Roger: Freddie's morbid mind.

Press to Freddie: Do you consider yourself a sex-symbol?

Freddie: You're joking dear. I'm just a singer, dear.

Press to Roger: Do you consider yourself a superstar?

Roger: As meaningless, (blows kisses).

Roger on the media - absurd for a magazine combine rock and politics.

Press: Roger, you're noted for your amazing screams.

Freddie: It's a controlled scream. I'd rather call it art.

Undauted by the fearless Australians they continued talking about their lyrics and the esoteric implication.

Roger: Freddie just loves the word 'Beelzebub'.

Freddie: Yes, well, Brian's got a taste for unusual words.

Roger: You talking about dandling on your knee and things?

All four of them write songs and each has at least one song on 'A Night At The Opera'.

Brian: It's very difficult to talk about our songs as a group because we all have different ideas of what the songs are about.

Roger: No we don't.

Freddie: Roger's the sensitive one. 'I'm in love with my car' is the most sensitive song on the album (Night At The Opera).

Roger did tend to sit there pouting at the bows on his pink lame gym-boots. One hardly noticed the dark roots in this gold angelic hair. We did ask, but unfortunately Roger didn't have a pic of himself in the gymboots. Roger was later accosted by David Essex fans in the foyer of the hotel, who wished to know if he was a popstar, girls now have Roger's autograph. Back to the lyrics..

Freddie: Every song is written by one of us and means something special to each one of us. Certain songs have a very literal meaning and can be understood straight away. Then there are some songs that can be taken on a lot of different levels.

He describes a lot of his songs as fantasies. 'We want to consciously lose ourselves. There are certain things we want to escape from in our lives or whatever.' He feels that people should create their own private fantasies from the images in his songs and so doesn't like to talk about what they mean to him. 'I'd hate to shatter someone's illusion. If I listen to somebody's songs I conjure up a fantasy of what its about and I like to keep it that way.'

He elaborated further.. 'Lyrically it is helpful to use certain words. You see it depends.. sometimes I want to use words that are phonetically useful. In the beginning they're surface words but you entwine them into the meaning of a song. That's what I mean about different levels.'

Brian May has a different approach to his songs, 'There's usually something serious behind them, but I feel a big responsibility not to over-indulge in idealogies. In 'White Queen' I was very interested in the significance of Queens and White Ladies in English folk lore. The song started off as a personal experience, the frustration of not being able to communicate, I was thinking about Robert Graves' ' White Goddess' and that became involved in the song.'

Roger: Romantic slush.

Brian: Our 'Now I'm Here' song is really about our first American tour. A big experience for anybody. It's a conglomeration of all the experiences we had on that tour. We had a great time with Mott the Hoople. I suppose they taught us to be a touring band.

We're very critical about each other and very cynical. We don't get deeply into meanings because you're living with it all the time. You have to be a bit light-hearted about it.

With four individual writers the albums were not done with a specific concept in mind. The 'White Queen' was written four years before the 'Black Queen'.

Brian: I don’t think that Freddie’s 'Black Queen' was a reaction to the 'White Queen'. We just discovered that we had these songs and the rest of the album seemed to fit around it.

Freddie: It probably subconsciously coheres.

Similarly ‘A night At The Opera’ has no overall concept though the name of the album is related to Freddie’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.

As Brian puts it ‘We are four very different people with four very different directions, but there is a musical development that does make some kind of sense. Queen is very much an independent thing. We are always bouncing ideas off each other. We are very aware that we need each other.’

The rapport between them onstage bears out this statement. They work off each other in a carefully intergrated show thatt creates an atmosphere of spontaneity for the audience.

At the opening of their set there is a flash of fire and smoke as Queen emerge on stage. While music winds up they launch into ‘Orge Battle’. Like a Greek God or a simister Mephistopheles Freddie's powerful vocals cut through the smoke and flames.

With the stage show the band is doing something different to stimulating their records. Brian: "You don't get up there and behave like you do in the street. You go up there to entertain people and give them some kind of excitement". They have rearranged some of their songs especially for stage performance, including a medley of 'Bohemian Rhapsody', 'Killer Queen', 'Black Queen' and 'Leyroy Brown', which grinds down into 'March of the Black Queen' and then skips out on a lighter note which features Brian on genuine Japanese ukalele.

The brilliant solo Brian performs in 'Brighton Rock', with sweet high Paginini frills and harmonies, stimulating two or three guitars on stage, is in a style he has evolved himself. He got the idea the first time he was in a recording studio. Says Brian: "It was my first experience of doing multi-tracking. It happened to be in the cannon-things which repeat themselves. You play one, then you play the same over the top of it after a time interval. Later we started to do those things on stage but there was the problem of how to do it. We started having a single delay and then another one over the top of it. Then afterwards you do another repeat on the second. You can then do three part harmonies with yourself. We started to base it all on ten second solos and it grew and grew. There's a lot of other people doing it now and I'm glad because it’s a thing you can play around with.'

In the stage arrangement of "Prophet's Song' Freddie uses a similar echo feedback system which multiplies his voice into a celestial choir. His voice floats as a vision - "Listen to the madman' - while Brian plays some beautiful guitar.

encore amore

Brian describes their encore performance as the time when the band really unwinds. "It's nice at the encore to just completely unbend and make a fool of yourself. It gets rid of the tension between the band and the audience. I used to get a kick out of going to concerts to see rock groups like the 'Who' and feeling involved, like the group knew you were there. WE go by the kinds of things we think people would like at an encore. It's at a very basic level really, an energy level, a physical level. Rock and Roll is kind of a body music. I get as much satisfaction out of basic rock'n'roll like Status Quo as the most sophisticated music I know.'

The audience certainly enjoyed it and really let loose their energy. Roger (who claimed the most female screams) in rainbow mop-wig opened the encore with slow heavy rock-beat as Freddie did a dramatic entrance in a silk kimino. As he eased into 'Big Spender', he peeled off to striped hot pants for an outrageous version of 'Jailhouse Rock' - simple hard-driving rock'n'roll that had everybody out of their sets.

gettin' feelin' thru th' transistors

Brian was rather upset that the Australian Press should braiid them as a manufactured band. If 'Bohmeian ,hapsody' can be seen as incorporating the spectrum of s talent - mood changes, heavy stuff, the soft ballad - it is not because they (men of letters from universities) have developed a magic 'X' formula. Rather the song can be seen as a musical progression, a reworking of motifs off their other albums.

Brian can only say that, 'They obviously didn't see us in the earlier days. I can understand why they'd say that over here. Big impact. Overnight success. It must have been all calculated. If you’d seen the way it happened in England, you wouldn’t think that. I’ve had years playing pubs in England where people were drinking beer and discussing what other people were doing and not listening to the music. I want to build up this thing where people do want to go to a concert. While it begins to look like the commercial side, it;s what it’s all about. I want knock it because I want people to come and hear what we do.

It’s been a struggle, because in the beginning nobody knew what we were doing. We were the only people who believed in ourselves. We started playing because we had some kind of vision that we thought was worthwhile. For over a year and a half we were playing to ourselves. Gradually you gather people around who believe and that’s the way it happened.

Nobody is going to tell us to play what is commercial. What we play comes from us. We’re very lucky really in that we have a kind of audience who are attentive to whatever direction we choose to follow. One of us will come up with a song and we'll say, 'Yeah, it needs that kind of treatment and maybe that turns out to be something you call heavy and sometimes something which is light.'

To get back to the charge that they are a manufactured band, while he doesn't like it, he can only take it as a compliment that they think the band is so good. He doesn't consider himself a technician "technically I've stayed the same for the last six or seven years. Progress is what you feel and what you are putting across. That's what playing is about for us.'

Freddie: There's a lot of music there too.

Roger: A bit of music, yeah.

low key queen

By Anne Finnegan

Wednesday 9 June 1976

If you save, do not forget to leave a link to this, coz i kinda found it by myself and made and transcipt. Thanks :)

44 notes · View notes

obiwhat · 3 years

Note

Hey! I've been reading one of your fics and I kinda felt the need to request one! Your writing is so good! If it's levi/erwin is up to you, but that is the ship I'm usually going with 😍🙃

My rec is; Levi is acting out after his squad is killed (Petra, Eld, Gunter and Oulo/Auro? Ouro? I don't even know anymore-) in the way of how he would let out steam in the underground. He goes out drinking and instigates a fight, intentionally or subconsciously, and ends up getting overpowered by a group of men, probably because of his drunkenness and perhaps because of the injured ankle he sustained after the meeting with the female titan. His injuries after the fight are significant and eventually, he's found in an alleyway (or something), by Erwin who's been worried about his mental state (cause obviously, Levi has been trying to hide it, all though rather poorly), and takes care of him.

I hope this isn't too specific 😅 I take requests myself and appreciate people being as thorough as possible. If not; take whatever you like and run with ut 😄😄

AHH THANK YOU FOR SUCH A DETAILED ASK!! good stuff right here^^ big brain moves^^

Fix You:

(AO3)

(warning: language, violence, a bit of a emetophobia and drinking ofc)

His heart ached.

It spread through his chest into every limb of his body, to the point where the horrible throbbing from his ankle felt like a slight ache in comparison.

Every time Levi lost someone, it broke away a little piece of him. Even though he’d never let it see the surface, there were several cracks underneath. When he found his squad; bloody, with limbs dangling from trees and branches, it broke off another rather large piece.

These were people he had trained closely. Erwin had trusted him enough to assign him a special leadership role in the Scouts and a special operations squad to suit it. When he trained them, he had drilled it into their heads everyday not to die. He gave them every bit of his knowledge on how to survive in the shitty world they had to endure.

He wasn’t a leader. He never had been. Unfortunate people just tended to follow behind him. Levi never knew the right thing to say or how to express what he was thinking, but his squad had still learned quickly. They were smart and skillful and he was… proud of them. Truly.

And their blood still painted that forest floor.

Levi knocked back another shot, numbing the pain for a moment longer. A fleeting escape from the horrors that crept into his mind yet again that night. He was dangling off of his bar stool as he slouched forward even further with his shoulders barely holding his head up. He flagged down the waiter for another round.

It wasn’t exactly clear what had driven him to the rougher side of town, to drown himself in shitty booze. It had a lot to do with his hands, which he refused to look down at. Every time he did, he saw red. Dark crimson. The blood of his comrades. Paired with the echo of radiating pain from his ankle. A pain, he felt, was well deserved.

He wasn’t even supposed to be walking on it, as much as possible at least. Hanji had given him grief about going to an actual doctor for the pain and the swelling. At the moment, he couldn’t find the will to care. As long as he could shove it into his boot and stumble his way into a bar for the night, then he was fine by his standards.

He downed another shot of whiskey, barely feeling the burn in the back of his throat any longer. The room spun, he huffed out a broken laugh quietly under his breath. It’d been years since he’d drank himself to this pathetic point. Not since the underground. Or maybe not since Farlan and…

He threw back the next shot and took in a sharp breath as he stubbornly blocked the memory from surfacing. His eyelids shut tightly as he tried to remove the thoughts of his failures from his mind. All the people he’d failed to protect. Despite his overwhelming strength.

Humanity’s strongest soldier…

What a load of bullshit.

He flagged down the bartender once more and asked for the whole damn bottle, slurring his words to the point of near incomprehension. The bartender didn’t seem to mind. Money was money. Even if his patrons drank themselves into a ditch. That’s how it went in these parts of town. Money was the only language anyone spoke, because money was the only way anyone could make it through the day.

It reminded him of home.

He slammed down his money and swiped the bottle from the counter, the bar spun wildly as he stood on his feet again. Levi had nearly forgotten about his injury, the sudden shift of weight onto his ankle sent him stumbling a bit. He hissed in pain, but only responded with another pull of the whiskey, straight from the bottle.

As the chilled night breeze hit him, Levi felt a sudden wave of disgust. It was the smell of sewage and grime. These alleyways were radiating with it. Swaying a bit, Levi grabbed out blindly for purchase. His palm found a brick wall, covered in something sticky. He winced, pain shooting up his leg as the alleyway walls spun dizzyingly around him.

The pain was welcome. In fact, he’d decided he didn’t deserve the numbness that the whiskey brought. He should feel it all. He’d gotten his comrades killed. Again. He wanted to feel something. To hit something.

Levi’s chance was walking down the other side of the alleyway, feet dragging confidently through the sludge of the streets. A group of men walking together, talking irritatingly loud in contrast to the quiet night streets Levi had enjoyed before.

“Haha! He was dumber than he looked!” One hollered confidently.

“What’d you expect from a son of a whore?” A burly man spit as he laughed, his dull voice echoing through the alleyway. He was obviously somewhat of a leader to them.

His last word perked Levi’s attention. He gripped his whiskey bottle tightly in one hand, nearly busting it into pieces.

“That’s a choice word there.” Levi lazily brought up a shaky finger, along with the whiskey bottle, to point in the direction of the burly man. Or at least where he thought he was. His vision was dancing.

The leader laughed a grating chuckle and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What is, you drunk idiot? You got a problem with the word whore?”

“I gotta problem with your shit leaking face.”

Levi growled out his words with a half cocked smirk, looking much like a wild animal in the dark of the alleyway. Although his threatening appearance was subdued by the fact that he could barely balance on his feet, without the help of the wall nearby.

“Haha!” The man belly-laughed once more, drawing near, his companions followed closely behind him.

“You got some guts, short stuff. Got the chops to back that shit up?”

The leader rolled back his sleeves, his friends followed suit. They were all geared up to fight him. Levi laughed hollowly in the dark. A sick, empty, laugh influenced by the whiskey fueling his veins.

He swung hard at the burly man, a bit surprised to have connected with his jaw. Levi could barely see straight at this point. A hit was coming from his left, which he barely dodged sluggishly before grabbing the man’s arm with the hand that wasn’t still gripping his whiskey. He twisted it, breaking the man’s wrist.

Levi took a slow swig of the whiskey before he caught a glimpse of something shiny out of the corner of his eye, coming from his right. Someone had pulled a knife. Interesting.

It didn’t quite register properly until the next man lunged at him and he barely had the chance to grip his hand before the knife could plunge into his chest. This new face looked angry. Angrier that Levi had felt about the burly man’s comment. The cause of this chosen chaos. In fact, Levi wasn’t feeling much anger at all over this fight.

The knife drew closer and closer. Levi managed to smack it away, not a moment too soon. The sound of metal crossing the stone ground echoed over the heavy breathing of the group. Levi had placed a heavy weight on his ankle with his last move causing a bit of a wince to unconsciously form on his face. Before he could register what had happened, he felt an even more crippling shock ripple through his entire leg.

He gasped suddenly, vision darkening.

The whiskey bottle hit the ground, spilling the burgundy liquid all over the stone floor. Glass shards scattered all around.

The man had kicked him, hard, in his wounded leg. Right where he’d shoved his bruised, aching flesh into his boot. Levi’s legs gave out beneath him and his knees connected with the stone below with a loud thud. His palms hit glass in front of him as he could barely hold himself upright.

His head was spinning, swirling, and darkening his vision around the edges as he knew nothing but white hot pain for what felt like an eternity.

“I knew it! He’s got a bum leg!” The man who’d pulled the knife shouted gleefully to the remaining members of the crew.

He must’ve noticed Levi’s wince from before. The man sent another crack into Levi’s wounded leg, sending ripples of agony through his entire body. It sobered him to another level fairly quickly. The other men were getting to their feet again as Levi quivered on the ground in pain, gripping his palms into glass and whiskey.

Everything was dark around him as another anticipated strike came through, this one connected harshly with his ribs. There was a deafening crack of bone. There was nothing he could do but wait for the next impact. He couldn’t help but yell out in pain as the agony overwhelmed him. Levi nearly passed out as his head hit the cold stone, whiskey and grime covering one side of his face.

With the side of his face, not plastered to the ground, Levi could spot more legs swinging, connecting with his side, and more sounds of shouting. He couldn’t tell if the shouting was his own anymore. He couldn’t feel much of anything anymore, everything was fading out slow. He was fading.

There were six faces dancing around above him in his hazy vision. His head pounded as he tried desperately to get a grip on his consciousness.

Had there always been six of them? Or were they doubling from his drunken, wounded stupor? They all swirled into a confusing mess of faces. Ugly, contorted, swirling faces. He felt sick.

Another shock connected with his ribs. He heard another sickening crack over their laughs and hollers before his vision finally graced him with complete and utter darkness.

—

Another dead end and no sign of the captain.

At some point he was going to have to send out a missing report. Erwin was hoping it wouldn’t have to come to that, but after hours of scouring the near entirety of the city and finding nothing, he was beginning to accept the facts. Levi was missing.

Missing. Out of bed. Injured.

Erwin remembered when he first saw Levi’s leg after the expedition. He’d only caught a glimpse when Hanji was looking him over. It was horribly bruised and swollen, raw. A part of him blamed himself, he’d sent the captain to fight the female titan. Yet again, Levi had sacrificed a part of himself for humanity. His wounded leg was a sacrifice, but Erwin knew there were much heavier weights on him, paining him deeper than flesh would show.

This small section of town was not one he expected to find Levi in. It was full of filth and squalor. A familiar sight to that of the underground. Something he’d assumed Levi would never return to willingly.

A chill was in the air. Cool breeze passed on the outside of his hood as Erwin pulled it over his eyes. He turned into what he assumed was one of the last streets he hadn’t checked yet. There was a group of men who had just left an alleyway quickly, Erwin noticed a bit of blood on their clothes and faces, not exactly a shock in this part of town.

One man was gripping at his wrist and complaining loudly as they passed Erwin by.

“Piece of shit broke my wrist!” He cried out and kicked a stone on the ground irritatedly.

“Be glad it wasn’t your neck, I bet he would’ve been a lot more dangerous if his leg wasn’t busted. I think he was trained or something. Did you see the way…” Their conversation trailed off as they disappeared around a corner.

Erwin was no longer listening, he was more focused on a particular phrase in their conversation.

Busted leg? Erwin thought for a moment, fearing the worst in the back of his mind. It couldn’t be…

The commander broke into a quicker pace, sweat dripping nervously down the back of his neck as he followed the alleyway, where the men had come from. It was dark and smelled of filth, blanketed in whiskey. There was glass covering the ground as he walked further, he could hear it crunch underneath his boots with each step.

Out of the corner of his eye, Erwin caught a glimpse of black dress shoes. A body lay slumped up against the brick wall of the alley. A head of dark hair, shadowing a pale and bloody face.

Levi.

Erwin kneeled down quickly and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, attempting to rouse him gently. His body was shaking horribly, covered in his own blood and the scent of whiskey.

“Levi…? Please.” Erwin winced as his voice died in his throat. “Say something. Are you alright?”

There was no response. Erwin pushed his dark locks out of his eyes to get a better view of his face. The blood he’d spotted earlier was dripping from his lips which made him immediately check his torso for wounds. He couldn’t find any blood, but when he lifted his shirt carefully, he spotted it.

Erwin had looked emotionlessly at many wounds before, but this made him winced in sympathy. Seeing black and blue paint the side of Levi’s porcelain, perfect skin made him want to run and find those men from before. But no. Levi was the most important thing right now and he had injured himself even worse than before.

The thought over his previous injury crossed Erwin’s mind as he hesitantly lifted Levi’s pant leg. If the bruising on his torso was dark, his leg looked like the night sky. His bruises were black and dark purple, spiraling their way up to his knee. The flesh was swollen and warm to the touch when Erwin hovered his hand above it nervously.

How did this happen? Why was Levi here in the first place? He smelled heavily of alcohol, it was probably what was covering his clothes and turning his cheeks pink. Had he come here to get drunk? To start a fight in an alleyway?

It would be very uncharacteristic of him. But, of course, finding him here in the first place was very uncharacteristic. He wasn’t himself. He hadn’t been for some time now.

Without time to spare, Erwin pulled his cloak off of his shoulders and wrapped Levi’s broken, shivering form. He frowned as he watched the man continue to shake harshly despite the warmth of the cloth. He hadn’t even noticed Erwin’s presence, unusually unalert and dazed.

“It’ll be alright Levi. I’m here now.” His hands hovered over his chest. He’d have to carry him back. “I have to lift you. Please endure it for a moment, we’re not too far from my house.”

Erwin scooped him off of the filthy stone floor and into his warm hold as carefully as he could muster. Levi moaned in pain in his embrace, Erwin pulled him tighter against his chest as he brought them out of the dark alleyway and back into the light.

—

A bath was in order. Erwin knew Levi inside and out. He knew he wouldn’t be too keen on waking up smelling like alcohol and blood. He’d be better if he was cleaned up a bit and his wounds were wrapped. Erwin was determined to fix this. To fix him.

He laid Levi’s still, unconscious body carefully into his bathtub, kneeling beside him and washing off the dirt and the blood from his face with a cool rag. He was so delicate with him, like he was handling fragile glass.

Erwin surprised even himself with how carefully he guided the rag across Levi’s broken skin. He wasn’t used to being this careful and soft. War and death had all but stripped him of these qualities. But not with Levi. With Levi, he was different.

It had been a struggle carrying the captain back, with his wounds being so extensive. However, Erwin had made it to his house in record time without much unconscious complaint from the shivering form in his arms. He had been light. Far too light for Erwin’s liking.

He tried to ignore the way Levi’s collar bones stuck out slightly as he washed away soap and the whiskey smell with the soft scrub. Erwin couldn’t bear to glance at the curious patterns of bruises over Levi’s thin body or the way his chest rose and fell with a heavy struggle. He just continued to wash away the soap and water.

Erwin scooped a bit of water into his palms and washed it through Levi’s hair, watching as the last of the blood and whiskey found its way down the drain. As the water trickled through his dark hair, down the back of his neck, Levi stirred a bit but never opened his eyes.

“E-Erwin…” Levi breathed through his words, dazed and unaware of his own incoherent mumbles.

“I’m here, Levi.” Erwin gripped his slender hand tight and ran his other across the man’s creased forehead. “I’m right here. You’re alright.”

“No…” Levi mumbled, voice breaking as his eyes pinched together tighter. “Can’t leave me… Not you… too…”

“I won’t leave you Levi... I promise.”

Such promises were foolhardy in the work they did, but Erwin couldn’t stop himself from making it. He couldn’t stand the way his captain cried out in pain and heartbreak, it was worse than any gruesome scene he’d witnessed.

Levi leaned into his touch as Erwin cupped his palms around his cheeks and kissed his forehead gently. He didn’t know exactly what possessed him to do so, but it seemed to cause some relief from his captain so he allowed it.

Once he was clean, dry and warming up again, Erwin took him to his warm bed to rest finally. He dressed his wounds carefully, glad to see that Levi was finally resting somewhat peacefully. He hoped he could now sense his presence at least. To know he wasn’t alone tonight.

Erwin was concerned with the heat radiating from Levi’s ankle as he wrapped it. He was determined to get Levi to an actual doctor in the morning to look everything over. He would command him this time, to ensure he actually did so. For now, he placed a cool rag on the man’s forehead just in case a fever began, which was entirely likely.

He was in rough shape. Erwin had been lucky to find him when he did.

What if he hadn’t? Would he have caught his death in the chilled night? Or slept on the cold stone ground, injured and alone?

Erwin couldn’t understand Levi’s behavior. It wasn’t like him in the slightest. He was usually so level headed and composed. It made the commander ache to think that this sacrifice had made the man fall so low.

—

A dark ceiling was spiraling above him. One that seemed vaguely familiar. His head hurt too much to even try to deduce where the hell he was. There was a cool cloth placed on his brow, wrappings covered his ribs, palms, and leg, his shirt was missing.

All this spinning was aggravating.

He was going to be sick.

Levi crumbled off the side of the bed, hardly making it to the floor as his legs refused to hold him. His body was broken, defeated, exhausted beyond belief. A dizzying roll to his stomach made him clutch it in pain. There was a waste bin by the bed frame which he gratefully and regrettably clutched to his chest.

For a moment, nothing happened. He wished it would, feeling unbelievably nauseous and confused. But he could do nothing to help himself rather than sitting there, shakily clutching the bin.

“Levi…” A familiar whisper found him in the dark.

He jumped and lashed out with a blind strike that hit nothing but air. Erwin’s hand gripped his wrist softly and lowered it, slow. “It’s just me. You’re here with me, at my house.”

Levi’s chest collapsed in breath as he winced again and dry heaved into the bin. Nothing had come from it. He hadn’t eaten enough. He hadn’t eaten much at all… Since…

Blood… Everywhere…

He dry heaved again, gripping the bin with white knuckles. Erwin rubbed soft circles on his back. The familiar touch was welcome despite the circumstances.

“You haven’t been eating, have you?” He asked, quiet so as to not upset Levi further.

Levi didn’t respond. Not because he was unable, but because he simply did not want to. It was pointless. He couldn’t have stomached food. Not while looking at the blood on his hands as he chowed down. Not while his comrades were left bloody in those damn woods.

He slid the bin to the ground and brought his knees into his chest despite the pain it caused him. Levi rubbed cruel circles into his thigh as his wound echoed agony through his entire leg.

He heard Erwin inhale deeply.

“Levi… Why were you…? You can’t just do something like this. What if I hadn’t found you?”

“How did… you… find me?” Levi coughed slightly as his breath caught in his injured chest.

Something deep inside him almost wished Erwin hadn’t found him at all. He shut it away.

“I came to your room to check on you.” Erwin explained, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. “You weren’t there, so I went looking at your regular spots.”

Levi faced his head towards his chest and buried his face deeper, to try to escape this. He wanted to escape again. It was all too much.

“I didn’t think you’d be in the bar district. It was the last place I tried looking.”

He’s been looking for me all night then.

What an idiot.

“Why were you there, Levi?” His voice turned soft, a tone that only Levi had probably ever heard from the man. Something sacred between them.

“Why do you think?” Levi’s tone was more venomous than he intended. If his head wasn’t pounding, he might’ve corrected himself.

“I was worried about you.” Erwin maintained that soft voice despite Levi’s defensive nature. He placed a hesitant hand on the injured man’s knee.

“With everything going on, I can’t lose you too. I need you.”

He needs me, huh?

Why?

Levi hadn’t realized he’d asked it aloud.

“Why?” Erwin repeated his words back to him, looking damaged by the question. “Because…”

The words caught in his throat, at a loss for the right phrasing.

“You’re important to me. To humanity.”

Humanity…

It all feels like a bad joke…

What part of humanity am I even helping if everyone around me gets killed?

“Why’d you even let me train a squad? I just got them all murdered…” Levi felt his chest hitch.

“Their blood… Erwin…”

He finally risked a glance at his shaking hands and clenched his fists so hard he thought his fingernails might draw blood from his flesh.

“It’s all over my hands.”

Erwin was silent. Without his drawing of breath nearby, Levi wouldn’t have known he was even still there with him. But he was, he knew Erwin would never leave him alone right now.

“No matter how many times I scrub them…” He swallowed a wave of nausea as he could see the red start to blanket his palms again. He felt insane. “I can't clean the blood off.”

Suddenly, large warm fingers wrapped around his slender hands, steadying them for him.

“I can't either.”

Erwin’s voice was hoarse in the dark. He rubbed a thumb across the back of Levi’s hand softly, despite the pain in his voice.

“I’m sorry.” His words soothed something deep inside Levi’s aching chest. “We’ll never be able to wipe this blood away.”

Levi released a captive breath, leaning forward into Erwin’s chest despite the burning in his ribs. Erwin could soothe it. He could soothe this pain. Even just by a fraction. Levi sunk into him with fatigue in his bones.

“It reminds us of their sacrifice. What they did for humanity. What we will continue to do for humanity, with their strength fueling our fight.”

Humanity… Humanity’s Strongest…

Never strong enough to save anyone important though…

No one really needs me… Especially not like this…

Broken…

“Stop. You’ll regret it.” His deep voice was stern now. A command from years ago. A call back to reality. “You were a good leader to them. They did their duty well. Perfectly.”

“Don’t—” Levi’s voice caught in his throat.

“You taught them well. They were able to live as long as they did only because of you. Because of what they learned from their time with you.” Erwin brushed a hand through his hair softly and held him closer. “You did well by them. They were proud to die under your last command, I can promise you that.”

Levi wanted to argue, to refuse this, but he couldn’t find the strength behind words just yet. He could only be held tightly by his commander and hear his voice next to his ear.

“I saw the way they looked up to you. Worshipped you in some cases. Loved you in others. They would not do this if you weren’t worthy of it.” He pressed further. “Just the idea of you makes our soldiers confident in a future of freedom. It’s not just your physical capabilities, Levi. It’s the strength within you as well. That is why you’re important.”

He meant it. He meant every damn word. Levi had never heard someone speak so passionately about another person. With such vigor and honesty. It made his heart clench painfully in his broken chest.

“You have to continue. For them.” He whispered in Levi’s ear now, soft and comforting. “For me, as well. I need you, most of all.”

Tears finally found their way onto Levi’s cheeks, eyes turning red in irritation. He cursed himself and crumbled in Erwin’s arms completely.

“God it hurts… It hurts all over.” He couldn’t tell if he was talking about the pain in his heart or the pain in his body. It didn’t really matter as Erwin caressed him softly and made it fade for just a moment.

Erwin didn’t numb him like the alcohol had. He allowed him to feel, to cry, to express. And he held him tightly through it all.

Until the morning sun rose, finding them fast asleep in each other's embrace on the wooden floor. Soft rays of sunlight crossed their cheeks in unison.

27 notes · View notes

ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 3 years

Note

Hi, I've only recently come across your blog and I'd like to ask you a question regarding my type. I've originally written a long text to mbti-notes via private messaging, but I'd like to hear your opinion as well and draw conclusion from that. In short, I've been typing myself as INFP most of the time, even though I've felt like something is off, that I don't relate well to Fi-dom descriptions, etc. so I'm now thinking I could be an INFJ. I'll provide examples for INFJ as well as some questions

Some info: I'm 20, bipolar, have PTSD and severe social anxiety (diagnosed, so I know I'm not just looping or gripping, but this leads to questions such as if I really have Fe or it's just anxiety, etc.) but I've started psychotherapy, I'm not in a depressive nor hypomanic state so nothing really influences my perception of self, etc. Pretty confident that I'm an INFx, although I'm open to other possibilites, as well. Ni usage: I have a concrete sense of direction and where I want to end up

which does slightly change when I'm going through even more stress than usual, however I have everything planned out and absorb as much information on anything that could help me achieving my goals as possible. Unlike many Ne users (even Ne-terts I know), I don't enjoy switching areas of interest every week, dedication and going for your goal is ultimately what matters to me. I often envision the ideal situation and don't enjoy preparing for everything at one time: I get disappointed whenever

doesn't go as I envisioned it, but I often subconsciously "just know" how some things will play out. Though, this doesn't mean I'm okay without thinking everything thorough and immediately reacting to everything hoping it will be all right.HOWEVER: I think anyone is capable of (thinking they're) "predicting things" for whatever reason. I do like structure, and I have the need to know everything before my mind can move on. Although I have trouble with procrastination, I see this as more of an

emotional issue, since I still need everything to be clear. But still, I'd rather delay something than set it in advance when circumstances can change uncomparingly drastically, and this just seems like common sense to me. I'm absolutely perfectionistic in what I assume is important to me. I have to have full control over specific processes since I usually have some kind of vision how they have to turn out and evolve. HOWEVER: I could definitely picture an Fi-Te user doing this with their art

Why I don't think I use Ni: despite me criticizing whatever seems superficial to me, I still would describe myself as "too shallow" to be put in the same list as other Ni doms if judging by the depth of their Ni. I can enjoy things like living in the moment or spending good time with friends possibly too easily for an Ni dom. I've also been described as scatter-brained before, and had to take the role of the class clown on some occasions (this is more stereotyping than typing by functions, tho)

Fe: I'm pretty much "anti-Fi" in some aspects: this comes more from comparing myself against other Fi dominants, but they all have a somewhat, for a lack of better word, naive way of thinking about their identity, such as that you should show who you truly are all the time and through anything you can, to the point of giving up anything that makes them take up a persona. While this can be exhausting to me as well, I just don't seem to have a sense of personal identity whatsoever

Why I don't think I have Fe: even though I care a lot about what people think of me, I wonder if it's actually just inferior Te. In the end, even though I don't have a sense of identity, I "adopt" characteristics of people who seem interesting to me and act as if they were mine. Why I don't think I have Se: I don't think I have ever looped in a way of making impulsive decisions I regret later, etc. only wasting my time sleeping, doing pointless physical activities, etc.

----------------

Hi anon,

I was not able to come up with a type from this as there are very few actual examples, and putting things in terms of MBTI jargon/comparison to people you have typed as certain types is not really useful because I don’t know if they’re actually that type; it’s also really hard to go off of “here’s everything I’m not”, so I would recommend reading through the FAQ if you’re still stuck. Also, 20 is young and you might need more time to develop, particularly if you’ve been dealing with several mental health issues during your teens.

That said, here’s what I have

- lack of examples often correlates to high intuition in that intuitives tend to go straight to their interpretation and general descriptors rather than examples of their behavior

- someone once joked that long asks are usually high Ne and while I don’t think that’s universally true, it’s often true.

concrete sense of direction and where you want to end up is usually high Ni or Si, but in particular the part about procrastination because things can change really does not sound like an Ni dom at all. Dom Ni users tend not to procrastinate but also tend to really struggle with contingency - they are often so fixated on the vision that they don’t know how to deal with the idea that it may not come to pass.

Liking structure is one thing; do you create structure? Some NPs and SPs appreciate structure as an aid/jumping off point but do not create it; they can still find it helpful. Improvisation is still something that has structure, it’s just not the set structure. So this is a case where examples are absolutely vital.

A lot of the other Ni stuff is just people stuff; I think most people have an image of the ideal, and MBTI defines more your relationship to that, not that it exists. Perfectionism is also something for which examples are pretty vital; I see high Ti users claim perfectionism when it’s more what I’d call logical consistency, and sometimes it’s just high standards.

I should also note that while the circumstances of this question make me think intuition is more likely, most of what you’ve said for Ni is equally likely (if not more likely) to be Si; there’s nothing about themes or abstraction, but rather some degree of planning ahead/closure, with an eye to contingency.

So: examples are needed for the perceiving functions.

The part about Fi is similarly not really useable; I don’t know the people you’ve typed as Fi users; I don’t know if they are actually Fi users or if they’re immature Fi users, if you’re talking about ten people or two people, or what. This isn’t to say that comparing yourself against other people isn’t useful for typing yourself - it is - but when asking people who do not know you questions, you need references that they have access to and I do not have this access. With that said, lack of a sense of identity indicates you’re probably not a high Fi user.

Inferior Te wouldn’t really make you care much about what other people think of you (certainly not more than inferior Fe), and again, it’s hard to determine anything from adopting characteristics of others since that can be normal cognition (people mirror each other in general, regardless of type) or alternately, a conscious decision to imitate someone you admire (which anyone can do since it’s by choice).

My wild guess is xNTP, actually, but it’s very tentative; this felt too rambly for high Ni and the evidence for/against feels like it’s coming from a place of high Ti, attempting to put a consistent logical “if I do not fit all aspects of this I am not this” model in place.

#mbti #nowwhatisthissite

8 notes · View notes

cottontail20 · 5 years

Text

A Legend All Their Own, Chapter 38: Twinkle In Her Eye

Summary: Vision has just a few more questions for Valkyrie. Meanwhile, Wanda May have a precious little secret that she doesn’t even know she is keeping.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16736589/chapters/44112067

While Vision had initially been satisfied with the story of his origins, and had not wanted to push his luck with The Valkyrie after his earlier troubles, as days passed, he only found himself with more questions.

So, usually with Wanda at his side for support, Vision made a few return trips to the bar to speak with Valkyrie again. --

"My Mother.." Vision began, as he and Wanda sat beside Valkyrie again.

"Mmhm?"

"What was her name?"

"Oh!" The Valkyrie's eyes widened slightly. "I didn't tell you that last time?"

"No, you didn't" Vision frowned.

"Sorry" she sipped her drink. "Pretty big slip up there.."

"It was" said Wanda. "So, if you wouldn't mind just telling him now.."

"Right, of course.. You're Mother's name was Hildegarde."

"Hildegarde.." said Vision thoughtfully. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." --

And another day..

"What was she like?"

"Your Mother, you mean?"

“Yes.”

"Well, she was a gifted swords-woman. Absolutely brilliant" Valkyrie looked to Vision with a smile. "I hear you may have inherited some of her talent."

"Maybe" Vision chuckled. "I'm certainly trying to learn.. So, you fought together often?"

"We did" she confirmed, nodding. "There was a time when the Valkyrior were the first line of defense for Asgard.."

While The Valkyrie began to regale Vision with tales of Hildegarde's valor in battle, Princess Wanda, again sitting beside him, found herself becoming slightly distracted, watching two little birds just outside the bar window. The birds seemed quite young, just past fledgling age, and Wanda couldn't help wondering if they were the same two babies that she and Vision had seen during their trip into the Asgardian countryside, a trip that felt quite long ago, with everything that had happened since.

Wanda watched the birds for a while, a little twinkle in her eye, a soft smile on her face. One hand subconsciously hovered near her stomach. So lost in thought that she didn't notice when Valkyrie spoke to her.

"Wanda?" Vision waved a hand in front of her face, snapping her out of her happy little fog.

"Sorry, Vizh. Must have drifted off for a few minutes there. What were you saying?"

"I was asking if you wanted anything to drink, Princess" Valkyrie cut in.

"Oh.." Wanda thought for a moment. "Uh, maybe just some juice today."

"No wine Today? You seemed to be enjoying those. Oh well, your choice" Valkyrie shrugged and turned to the Barkeep. "Two ales, and some kind of juice for the Princess." --

"Do you.. Do you know anything about who my Father might have been?" Vision asked. On this particular day, Wanda had not accompanied him to the bar. Instead, she was off meeting the latest group among the growing crowd of Sokovians migrating to Asgard.

"Unfortunately, no" Valkyrie replied. "Hildegarde never told me who your Father was. And I can't think of anyone else who'd be able to tell you much more. Post battle celebrations get pretty, uh, wild. It's possible she didn't even know herself."

"Oh.." Vision's spirits fell, just a little.

"Hey kid, this isn't worth losing any sleep over" Valkyrie clapped a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You're Asgardian now, right?"

"I suppose.." said Vision, though he did not seem entirely convinced. In truth, he was not entirely sure that he would call himself Asgardian. Yes, Vision was now aware of the fact that he had been born in Asgard, but he had spent pretty much his entire life in Sokovia. He had been rather proud to call himself a Sokovian, even though he knew most Sokovians had not been quite so proud to claim him as one of their own.

"Well, one advantage of being Asgardian is that we don't tend to judge people purely on the circumstances of their birth" Valkyrie continued. "Here, people are judged on who they are, who they become, what they make of themselves."

"Yes, I have noticed that.." Vision nodded.

"Good. Because from what I can see, Vision, you've done a pretty awesome job of making something of yourself. And you did it all on your own.. You're the only one who can take credit for how great you've turned out. You don't need validation from anyone else."

At those words, Vision managed a smile.

"I think you may be right."

"Of course" Valkyrie gulped down the last dregs of her latest pint. "I'm always right. For what it's worth, though, I did mean what I told you the other day. Your Mother would be proud of you."

"It means a lot, actually. Thank you." --

Sometime later, Vision returned to Wanda's room (though it was really more like 'their' room now), to find her deep in thought. A book on the history of the Valkyrior lay open in front of her, but she didn't seem at all focused on it.

"Wanda?"

"Hey, Vizh" She seemed to perk up at the sound of his voice, a smile on her face. "Find out anything else from the Valkyrie?"

"No, but I'm actually not too fussed about it.. How were the new arrivals?"

"Alright. They might be the last group, I think.. they said Ultron's started trying to stop people from leaving."

"Oh.." Vision frowned, moving to sit on the bed beside her. "Is that what you were thinking about when I came in?"

"No" Wanda immediately moved to rest her head on his shoulder, a hand resting on her stomach without thinking, "I was thinking about you, actually. Everything we've found out."

"Oh?" Vision wrapped an arm around her. "What about it?"

"If.. If you'd ended up at the castle like you were supposed to.. We could have grown up together."

"That thought has crossed my mind too.. but I'm actually rather glad that we didn't."

"Why?"

"Well, it's like you said.. I see you before your title. And I always have, more or less" Vision pressed a kiss to the top of Wanda's head. "But if I'd grown up at the castle, raised to be a soldier.. I would have been taught to see you as the Princess first, just like everyone else."

"I didn't think of that.." Wanda frowned.

"I wouldn't be the same person I am now. My name wouldn't even be Vision. And if I wasn't Vision, you probably wouldn't let me do this.." He kissed her cheek, "Or this.. or this" Kissing her lips, her neck.

Wanda giggled and fell back onto the bed as Vision continued to shower her with kisses. For reasons she couldn't quite explain, her heart fluttered just a little more than usual when he kissed her belly. She tugged him back up to gaze into his eyes.. His brilliant, beautiful eyes.

"Well, we're very lucky you didn't make it to the castle then" said Wanda, a special little twinkle in her own eys. Because I wouldn't give up my Vision for anything.. And I'm going to make everyone see just how wonderful you are."

"Only if I don't make them see you first.."

They kissed, becoming happily lost in each other once more. Together, they could face whatever was to come.

#scarletvision #scarlet vision #scarlet vision au #scarletvisionAu #wanda maximoff #scarlet witch #the vision #vision mcu #wanda x vision #vision x wanda #Avengers #MCU #avengers au #mcu au

11 notes · View notes

gg-astrology · 5 years

Note

mamamoo debuted june 19, 2014 i don't know the time though sorry

nah don’t worry 💕💕💕 It could’ve been 12am so I’m going to use that ok? 💕

[Below Cut: Mamamoo 2019 ]

ooooof ok, so this is their solar return chart for the year 2019, the green outside is their return and the black glyphs inside is their natal!

I feel like since we haven’t looked at their natal as a group, maybe we could do that first?? skdjnfks

Vesta and Eros in the 1H - self empowerment, women’s positivity/attitude and artistic abilities (Pisces)is at the forefront of the self-identity (1H) -- the creation of the self-image is related to how they wield their individuality (vesta). And it’s the thing people see most prominently about them.

It is however in opposition to the Vertex (7H) which does talk about opportunity and reflection/relationships. If we take this literally it could also mean while some enjoy their self-empowerment, others want them to conform/mirror the norm for greater opportunity (Vertex in 7H).

Less literally is about the connection between work/place and personal identity, the usual ‘idol dating’ stuff has the effect on the group by making them kind of matronly, a little more focused on purity and their work.

Because it’s in the opposition, this places great importance between choosing their own self/career or to be with someone else

Less LESS literally-- since Vertex is an axis itself. Having Vesta at anti-vertex points to immense power and concentration on individual goals/area of focused.

Since it’s in Pisces, this is talking about creativity and musicality. Thus, their solo endeavours so far with other artists (opposition in 1/7H can also point to attraction-- but then again, they have to choose between the two)

NN in Taurus 2H and SN in Scorpio 8H -- points to finding stability, accumulating their identity and reputation instead of trying to ‘uncover’ parts of a hidden agenda/secret. Too much of it can threaten their security and success.

Scorpio SN can also point to relying too much on relationships that could be detrimental for them. Particularly ones that could back-fire or compromise their assets/long-term stability.

It could also point to being less focused on tumultuous and possible emotional desire for manipulation. When things get murky it’s important to keep in mind the stability/future of the group and not their individual feelings/emotions (thus lashing out)

Pluto conjunct MC in Sagittarius brings transformation that comes with the public persona and their image. Travelling to foreign places both opens up opportunity for social relationship/working (Vertex square Pluto) and creative input/inspiration (through exposure to the subconscious - Neptune in 12H sextile)

It is however in heavy opposition to Venus, Mercury and Sun in the IC-- thus, the group as a whole may feel the language barrier, their self-expression and their core self (Mercury, Venus, Sun in those order) isn’t as appreciated there

While they make transform exponentially by going afar/to different places and experiencing new things, it also comes with a compromise of feeling isolated and a ‘loss’ of self as well (4H stellium)

So let’s look at those inner planets themselves. First of all Saturn and Mars in the 5H -- talks about both hardship in their childhood (memory of childhood) and strength in their creative/theatric expression

Mars in 5H (cancer) particularly shows demonstrative qualities within the group/person. Mars is tactile, physical. While 5H can bring about playfulness and a kind of daringness to this nature.

It does, however, also offer nurturing to others. As the nature of Cancer, and since the Moon is also in Cancer too. The group’s emotionality is always ‘at home’ with each other, they may be homebodies or would rather spend time together to feel ‘at home’ than afar.

Mmmm Mercury in Gemini, talkative, chatty great for variety shows. But it’s also in the 4H so that means a lot of blunt, straight-forward communication within the team. Conjunct to Lilith, there’s a lot of talk about ‘darker’ stuff as well, self-improvement only comes when one has to confront oneself and learn the hard truths about their own avoidance/flaws.

Chiron in 11H Capricorn talks about lack of friends, or rather social/collective. Because Capricorn can make one goal-oriented and kind of stiff socially--- they may find it harder to befriend people because of this placement (also in opposition to Mars and Saturn -- which means inaction or restraining the self too much that they can’t ‘let loose’ or nurture others the way they do to the group members themselves)

Juno rx is there in the 11H there as well, may marry for statues/power or people they’ve known and could vouch/vet for. Generally, between all of them, they could come together and have a collective talk about work.

Aaaaah I feel like it was interesting to point out some stuff that was in their chart that correlates to what we see them with 💕 So I hope that was kind of useful? 💕

Actual Solar Return

Made a new chart bc the first one didn’t include houses ksdjnfkn

Next is their actual solar return, the ASC is in Libra which may indicate a lot of talk about fairness, justice and meditating/keeping balance in the industry. Not really a pro-active one, but it does emulate/implies charm and harmonizing romanticism to reality.

This makes Aries the DSC, which can imply more action going behind the scene. Aries is reactive and in the DSC it can often look for opportunities for a challenge, may be challenge to others. Behind the scenes, they may be highly competitive to others in the industry this year/see the heat kind of picks up.

Their Sun has shifted to being in Gemini 9H -- along with the rest of their Cancers being in 9H as well. Mercury, Juno, Mars and NN being there points to finding a purpose or home through travelling/studies.

Alot of energy in the 9H also opposes SN, Saturn, Moon and Pluto (all conjuncted) in 3rd House.

Their progress will be to change their thinking, transform and shed away hinderances/restraints that are unnecessary for personal growth. Since 3H SN is also in Capricorn-- the purpose of Cancer is to learn how to nurture the self as well as balance work/home life as well.

Finding the self in travelling, across countries (as opposed to locality in 3rd house, communicating in their language) the expansion element of 9H comes when they realize how to ‘be at home’ with themselves in foreign places this year.

Vertex and Venus in 8H -- talking about delving deeper into their insecurities and hidden things. Secret relationship? Or searching for connection in a hidden place? (I’m thinking about like, doing research/investigative stuff)

But opportunities that comes with opening up to others and may make them allow assets as a team to flow freely to another person

Vesta, Uranus and Pars Fortunae in 7H - talks about finally resolving the issue with self/others. Working with another can improve/nurture the self and it’s goals, particularly in expanding visions or providing paths to a stable fund (all in Taurus)

Chiron in 6H in Aries -- which doesn’t bode very well for making rash decisions or aggressive behaviour, again they may be too destructive at work or demanded too much. Maybe the 8H stuff could also be associated to investigating/looking at other assets for the team, like a company etc.?

Chiron in 6H Aries might also imply strange unluckiness with those around them if they aren’t careful to work through their Capricorn SN ‘stiffness’ -- as they are squares to each other, if they are viewed as ‘too stiff’ others may tend to cause them pain (through bad-mouthing them)

Lilith and Neptune in 5H -- points a lot of creative power again, but this time it’s also in trine to the 9H Mercury and Mars -- performance wise and bringing the foreign reception wise it might be good.

But aaah the main concern here is Jupiter opposition Venus/Sun -- although it’s a pretty loose angle, there’s still a chance of public reception to their Venus in 8H not being well-received (whatever that Venus implies, it could be other things too).

Moon, Pluto, Saturn opposition to Mars and Mercury is also slightly concerning, i mean this mostly imply some restriction and attitudes from others (locals) where maybe some of their actions/speech aren’t well-recieved.

May seem un-progressive to others/too emotionally constrained (Cancer-Capricorn Pluto) while emotionality may be hurt through their action/behaviours (Moon-Mars/Mercury)

They may be misunderstood a lot, but generally there’s always a lesson to be gained from this (it is self-development/progression after all)

I hope this is good for you!! 💕 You can check out the charts yourself as well. 💕💕💕

#mamamoo #mamamoo astrology #mamamoo predictions #mamamoo predictions 2019 #solar #wheein #hwsa #moonbyul #anon #asks

23 notes · View notes