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yourfatherlucifer · 9 months

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If I killed someone for you (Yunho)

Yandere!Psycho!Jeong Yunho x Reader

Summary:

He was an amazing man in the relationship, but he had..tendencies..tendencies to do things someone normal wouldn’t do. Like he’s over obsessive. In the beginning he was perfect, flawless even. However, it’s your school reunion, everyone was there, including your old group of friends, which had a few guys in it. Yunho didn’t like it..no..he hates it, he loathes it, the way they touch you when they laugh. Sure, they’re just your friends, but they’re men, men that could steal you away from him. He didn’t want that, he couldn’t have that. Maybe it’s time for his mind to finally break, and give in to his urges. He needs you for himself. What will he do?

Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of death, overall yandere behavior, possessive behavior, killer behavior, mentions of torture methods, swearing, this whole one shot is a red flag.

(There are several different song lyrics hidden, and I based the high school on the high school I graduated from. And a thank you to @starillusion13 for editing and being my beta reader. I appreciate it so much.)

——

My brown doe-eyed boyfriend was different, he’s perfect in my eyes, he’s everything I ever wanted. He had a sense about him, it was strange, but I thought nothing of it. He'd usually shower me with gifts, took care of my every need, so there obviously couldn't be anything wrong with him. He was the one I always wanted. He was a perfect one except for his possessiveness. I'm not complaining about this but sometimes it goes out of hand and it gets on my nerves. Maybe I'm thinking too much or he is just too caring to which, am just overreacting.

My mind could just be wrong about him. He's just a little possessive. Right?

“Yunho? Why did you leave your dirty clothes just left in the middle of the floor?” I yelled over his headphones, my tall and lean, and puppy eyed boyfriend sat in his gaming chair.

I assumed he was playing with friends, but this was ridiculous.

I guess he didn’t hear me since he clearly didn’t answer me. How annoying!

Huffing, I kicked his clothes across the room, boring a glare into the back of his head. Jackass.

Whatever, I have better things to do, than clean up after a grown man.

I left our shared room with a slam of the door.

I was getting too frustrated, I should just relax, ignore my boyfriend's asshole self for the time being.

Plus, I have to get ready for a school reunion. I received the text last week and honestly, I didn’t even think anyone from my high school would invite me. I was a loner then, still am.

I suppose I had a couple friends then, not sure they’d remember me though.

“What are you wearing?” I heard a voice approach me from behind. The voice had a sharp undertone in it.

“Yunho! Don’t do that, you scared me.” I placed a hand over my chest. Turning around to see him already staring at me with a dark look on his facial.

“I asked you a question. You should answer it.” Why was he always so authoritative to me?

I rolled my eyes at him, “Seriously? So, now I’m not even allowed to dress how I’d like?”

Yunho's eyes glossed over with anger, "Do not back talk to me, why are you dressed all fancy?" That's it. I've had enough of his damn behavior.

"Fuck you, Yunho, you've been nothing but a dick to me lately,always being so possessive. I am going out, I have a high school reunion. If you don't trust me, even though you should. Then come with me. I don't need or expect this from you." I stood my ground, I wasn't gonna take anymore of his bull crap.

He stared me down for a precise moment before he left the room, to our shared bedroom.

About five minutes later, he'd come out wearing a dark blue long-sleeve button up and jeans. The sleeves of his dress shirt were pushed up to his elbows.

When he dressed like this, he was overly attractive, if only he wasn't a dick sometimes.

Rolling my eyes once more, "Oh, so you do want to come with me. Fine, but please, enough with the possessive behavior."

When we had arrived at my old school, my gaze was all over the place, it was smaller than I remembered. Still looked fancy in the front. The football field behind the school was visible slightly around the corner and that was where the event had been organized.

The front banner said, ‘Welcome back, home of the pirates, class of (XXXX)!’

I looked at Yunho, his grip on the steering wheel had turned his knuckles white, "Um..it said the reunion is on the football field, so just head behind the school." With a nod from him, he pulled the car around the large building.

I don't know why, but I felt this looming sense of danger in the air. I really hope nothing bad happens, especially with the way my lover is.

"Y/N!"

Who called me? I don't..

I turned my head to the sound of whoever just called my name out, Yunho trailing extremely close behind me.

"Changkyun?" It was my best friend from freshman year, even though he was in a higher grade. I even had a crush on him then, but of course, I couldn't let Yunho know. Who knows what he'd do.

"Hi, dude, it's been awhile." Changkyun had wrapped his arms around me. I could just feel my lover's glare. This wasn't good. So I pulled away as fast as I could from my former friend.

"Yeah, it has, um, this is my boyfriend, Yunho." I turned around, but stepped back as soon as I saw his face. Yunho looked pissed. Like, it was honestly terrifying. I had never seen this look on him. His demeanor radiating a wave of danger to the cold environment of the late evening.

I mean, it was kind of hot, but something about it also didn't sit right with me.

Changkyun looked up, "Damn, you are tall. I'm Im Changkyun, I was Y/N's friend back in school." He held his hand out, but Yunho just stared at him down. Almost like he was threatened by his presence.

I could feel the tension in the air, maybe I should pull him away from this conversation. Yeah that's the best idea.

I grabbed the taller male's hand, "It was nice talking to you, Kyun, but I think we need to go." I chuckled nervously, pulling my lover away.

I stared up at him, "What was that, Yunho? Why were you glaring at him? He didn't do anything to you."

"Yes he did."

"What?"

I can't believe him. Was he serious? He did not just blame your friend for welcoming you there. If he continues being such an overbearing person, you might lose your mind before him.

"He touched what is mine, not his, mine."

There was that sense of dread again. MINE. You loved hearing him calling you his but sometimes that made you uncomfortable as if he was referring to some costly property which he wanted to lock it.

"How about this, what if I killed someone for you, Y/N? Would you love me more? Would that get inside your pretty little head, to show you and remind you that you are mine?" All of the sudden, he was leaning down, he had grabbed my wrist.

Oh my god, his grip was so tight, it felt like my wrist was gonna snap right off, "Stop it, Yunho! You're acting crazy! Let go of me, it hurts." I tried pulling away.

He wasn't letting go, and that killer look in his eyes was back.

"I don't care, what do you not understand?"

He was dragging me to the car, "You know, Y/N, I really cannot decide whether you should live or die. I mean, really. You come here dressed like you're going on a date, you let another man touch what is mine." He was laughing like a maniac.

Was he really going to kill me? No, no, he's just upset with me, that's all. I did nothing wrong though!

"Please, Yunho, stop! I love you! I didn't mean to do this, I didn't know he was gonna touch me." At this point, I was a sobbing mess, there was nobody around to save me.

An evil smirk was etched onto his face, after pushing me into the car, he locked the doors. Trapping me in with a psychopath.

As he sped down the road, the radio was almost blasting, he turned to me. "Maybe I should just crash the car, kill both of us! Or maybe, I could bury you alive, pour acid down your throat."

Why was he doing this? I don't want to die!

"Maybe I should just kidnap your little friend, keep him locked up in our basement. I could torture him for days, I could break him. You can watch!"

"Yunho, stop! I am sorry! I won't talk to him again! Please slow down, you're going to kill us." He was ignoring my pleas. The killer look in his eyes wasn't going to fade anytime soon.

"Oh, are you really? You are mine! Not some fucking tiny ass man can give you what I give you!"

He reached over, unbuckled my seat belt. The car sped up faster, this is it. I'm going to die. "Yunho!"

He was approaching a brick wall at top speed, but just three feet from it, he slammed on the brakes. My head smashed into the dashboard, knocking me out.

Cold water splashed onto my face, "Wake up, dear."

"Yun..?"

I had a pounding headache, why did my head hurt so bad? Why can't I move?

With my eyes fluttering open, I discovered I was restrained to a chair. My surroundings were definitely very familiar, it was our basement, but why was I down here?

"What's going on, Yun? Why am I tied up?"

The tall frame of my boyfriend was kneeled in front of me.

"Bad girls don't get to have freedom."

"What are you..oh," I remember now, I remember everything, "I told you I was sorry, why are you still doing this to me?"

"Because. I don't forgive you. Until you realize you're mine and stay away from other men, then I will be the perfect boyfriend again."

I shuddered with fear. I was never going to escape this, was I? I will never truly be free from him. I put myself unknowingly into a toxic relationship with a psychopath.

He gripped my jaw to look at him, "Everyday and night, I’m gon’ chase you. I love you, you should only love me."

I wanted to spit on his face, but I just don't know what he is capable of.

Tears were streaming down my face again, "Please, Yunho! I don't want anybody else, I want you! I only want you. I won't look at anyone else!"

He loosened his grip on my now bruised jaw, "That's a good girl, that's what I want to hear." Yunho chuckled, trailing a finger down my cheek.

"Are you gonna be a good girl for me?"

I shook my head up and down so fast, I swore my head would fall off.

'Yes, yes! I'll be your good girl, Yunho! I promise!"

The killer glint in his eyes faded just as fast as I blinked, "Good."

After untying me, he pulled me into a hug, rubbing the back of my head, before leaning next to my ear, "Because you will never escape me."

Oh no..

#yandere ateez #x reader #ateez yunho x reader #yunho x reader #jeong yunho #yandere yunho x reader #yandere

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christiansorrell · 5 months

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TTRPG Read-Through: Patchwork World

Here is a read-through I did last year (originally posted on Twitter) of one of the most unique PbtA games I've ever read: Patchwork World by Aaron King! - Christian

Credits up first. I know a lot of these folks and they are really cool! Excited to dig into this. I've heard good things, and it's been a while since I've read or played any Powered by the Apocalypse.

This is a cool, strong set up for me. I really like settings that ask characters to face a changing world and either take up change themselves or work to restore the old way of things. It's a headspace I find myself in a lot IRL these days so it's fun to explore.

I'm interested to see how the no stats, no playbooks angle of this game works, considering playbooks are typically such a staple of PbtA games.

Standard three-tired success, mixed success, fail forward resolution for rolls here and questions on the moves determine your bonus to the roll. Easy peasy. +2 is the max bonus.

Other types of rolls are described here. Interested to see how they come into play. I also love clocks and use them in pretty much every game I run so it's nice to see those laid out here too.

We just love a lil guy, don't we folks?

A good chunk of the opening here is spent on laying out a lot of solid foundations of roleplaying generally. It feels like a book (so far) that would work for entirely new players. It doesn't feel essential for me, but I never mind a game that supports varied experience levels.

Character creation is wide open, especially since there aren't playbooks and the text stresses that character creation is very much worldbuilding because of this. Fate-like concepts and tags are in here too which are things I generally enjoy. I like the Drawback mechanic.

Moves are in the playback I set in the other room so I'm gonna go grab those. You get two chosen moves and everyone has access to a number of default moves. You've got three other life/XP things to keep track of too. I'm especially interested in Hex.

There are a lot of moves! They seem quite varied and often very weird, fitting well with the titular patchwork world. You can have a duck's slick soul to dodge more easily or a magical space suit or speak to birds or be good at cartography. Overwhelming, but in an exciting way.

You also choose a community as a party. While PCs all have their original homelands (before the end of the old worlds), you know have a community that gets its own little sheet. This is a cool reshaping of the Gangs from Blades. I also like how the community can change over time.

Coming back to a PbtA game after months of more OSR-minded stuff, I think a lot of what these games contain are things that experienced players would say you could just do in any game at any time that it makes sense in the story, but I do find value in stating what's possible.

Esp since many players come to games with artificial limits on their options (whether that's from video games, more traditional RPGs, etc.). I just think good GMing here requires making sure that the players don't limit themselves just to the bevy of explicit options either.

GM moves (mostly to guide the response to failed rolls). I really think the community aspect of this set up is one of the biggest appeals to me so far. That and the wild list of moves, which I'm sure makes for amazing parties of characters.

I always feel like it's never something I should be in my own writing (for some probably unnecessary reason), but I enjoy the first-person, casual writing style throughout the book. Makes for a very chill read.

Good to see this game employs the Branson Reese style of NPC naming.

Stress acts as a single catch-all health and challenge rating for NPCs. Ideally, I'd hope this would help lead to the PCs approaching encounters with more than just violence.

Sections like this are what I'm referring to when I say this book feels very friendly to new players. It's got little anecdotes and thoughts like this throughout.

Look, it's been a while since I've seen A Christmas Story but... it didn't have ghosts in it right?

There's a sample adventure in the back (which I'll skip for this read-through) plus loads of random tables. Some wonderfully bizarre stuff in the characters and faction tables. Really gives you a good idea for how gonzo you can go with the setting.

Love these two in particular

Optional rules include hard mode (which I just think is kind of funny to see in PbtA, but could be cool if you lean heavy into the post-apoc setting) and some optional moves. I like that some moves focus on romance, something I enjoy IRL but never think to focus on in games.

I was wondering why this was the sixth edition!

That's all for the book itself. Going back to the packet to dig into the things I missed. Some expected bits in here but always one or two unique options I really enjoy. Leaking hex is cool (and could have some troubling cascade effects in certain situations).

I definitely wish, at least in sitting down to read like this, that the contents of the player packet was also in the book itself. I think PbtA has this tendency of leading to loads of pages on the table, but it can make them very easy to pick up and play or to learn as you play.

That element is definitely here, but I think the vast number of wide-ranging moves and the excitement that would drum up in my player group would more than makeup for that initial overwhelming feel of "whoa, that's a lot of papers out on the table".

Overall, it's the most I've wanted to play a game in this style in a while. I like that the base setup for the world is very much up to the players to determine via the characters they make. I like that PCs here will probably feel unlike any other folks have played before.

The community aspect feels like where I'd want to center my story around, as a player. Seeing that shift and change over time feels like it would be very rewarding and would help lean into the "the old world is dead, what do we want the new world to look like?" theme I enjoy.

Because Aaron King is cool and recently hit a lot of Twitter followers, Patchwork Worlds is now Pay-what-you-want over on Itch.

I'm not sure if physical copies are readily available. For full disclosure (guess I should have said this up front), I got this copy for free from Aaron! Not for the purposes of this thread or anything, just for fun a while back.

Thanks for reading more ramblings from me! If you like to do that sort of thing, check out my newsletter - Missives from the MeatCastle. It's got writings on my work, cool stuff I've run across the web in the last month, and exclusive rpg stuff! https://meatcastle.substack.com

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg #ttrpgs #rpg #fantasy #science fiction #pbta #powered by the apocalypse #aaron king #patchworld world #sixth edition #read through

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animentality · 3 months

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Maybe a hot take, but I think Durge is the real protagonist of BG3. Like... I'm sorry, everyone love their Tavs, but from a narrative point of view, it doesn't have fucking sense. It's just another guy (gender neutral) in a The Choosen One situation. I've read this story before, hundreds of times. But Durge's recepción (or disgrace)... now that has juice! That makes sense on a narrative level. You started it, you end it, one way or another.

Anyway, I'm never (with my +500 hours) going to play a Tav run. Ever. Origins only, mostly Durge. Durge and Durgetash are waaaaay better, sorry not sorry.

You are spitting nothing but facts, anon.

You wanna know what the HONEST to GOD fundamental problem is with the writing of Baldur's Gate 3?

It's that it spreads itself so thin, desperately attempting to write an open sandbox sort of world in which ANY kind of character can fit in...that it ends up being this hollow nothing.

IMAGINE if the Dark Urge WAS the default protagonist. It WOULD'VE BEEN an amazing story, if it had been given the focus it deserved, instead of just blankly repeating the SAME dialogue you'd get as a Tav and as an origin.

The idea of a former villain turned amnesiac, and going on an adventure, learning about themselves from the perspective of an outsider and seeing firsthand the horror they've wrought? It's like a fucking Zuko arc, except finding out you were the Big Bad all along could've been written even better than that...

We could've had that blank, nothing slate that Tavs start out as...and then find out, that it has thematic significance, because WE CHOOSE who we become, after a childhood/adulthood of being unable to make our own choices, and being forced into the role of the villain before the game even starts.

It's a MUCH BETTER WAY to give people a blank slate to work with, for the fun of roleplaying, but ALSO asserting a particular theme. Which is, the gravity of your choices, big and small. To do good or to embrace evil.

YOU KNOW. How Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 did being a Bhaalspawn.

IT'S ALSO A REALLY GREAT WAY to DO an RPG because yes, you slightly infringe upon the freedom of the customizable characters a person can make, but in exchange, you actually tell a fucking story where choices are the main theme.

INSTEAD. Because they were so dedicated to Tavs and the variety of ways you could play as a Tav...they completely undersell and underutilize what could've been a really amazing character.

You can literally choose to DIE for your friends in the end...and then what?

Withers brings you back in five seconds, no one has any real reaction to you doing that, except saying good job buddy :)

And then you're basically a Tav.

And ALSO. I want to say this, because it's been bothering me.

The Dark Urge has Tav syndrome too.

They have TWO notes in the entire game that we have to read into to try and glean a greater depth to their character other than murder hobo.

And that's it. They're a blank slate too.

If the Dark Urge was the protagonist, we might've been able to look into who they were before, outside of just laughably evil flesh eating monster.

They might've had real fucking depth, instead of just tidbits.

I and my fellow Dark Urge/ Durgetash enjoyers have to do the fucking work for them and write in stuff that isn't actually there. The Dark Urge as a protagonist could've been really meaningful. We could've seen inklings that they had misgivings about being Bhaal's Chosen. We could've seen scars of resistance, where they tried to defy Bhaal, but were punished with death, disintegration by the loving hands of your own father and flesh. We could've had betrayal, redemption, loyalty to one's blood family vs one's found family.

But we don't get that, because it's taking too much time away from Tavs.

Sometimes I really wish the Dark Urge wasn't even an option. They gave me this thing, and I thought wow this is the only way to play the game...and then I look and see, ah. But the potential for greatness could drive me absolutely insane.

And it has.

Durgetash is the product of my frustration with the game's characterization of the Dark Urge.

And I know I'm pissing off the salty BG3 fans who love their Tavs and all, and think the Dark Urge is lame, and god FORBID a protagonist have a character, can't have that in an RPG, but I can't find it in myself to care.

I'm built different than the rest of y'all. I don't just feed on content, I analyze its nutrients. I calculate how good for me it actually is.

And BG3 has wonderful mechanics.

But the story has so many problems, from beginning to rotten end.

And it is what it is. I still enjoyed myself playing it.

But the story isn't good for anything except allowing you to create a far more compelling story on your own, in fanfic or in original work inspired by it.

And I guess if that's all they wanted, then fine.

But goddamnit, I'm gonna complain anyway! Divinity 2 did it fucking better.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #dark urge

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gyuluttony · 4 months

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So, that Ateez feederism bug has certainly taken root and I couldn't tell you why exactly. (It's because I finally am getting a feel for how many people like it as much as I do 👀)

And with that being said, I want to write about another one of my ults, being San... it's not going to have a fixed pair... but that doesn't mean he can't play around hehe

Better

This is a feederism fic and features weight gain, weight gain denial, breaking of clothes, and smut. Don't like, don't read.

Finishing his set in the gym, the sound of the weights clanging on the machine as it settles. He's panting as he looks at himself in the mirror. He's come a long way since he started working out. He remembers the first time that he set foot in the gym and how just about everything intimidated him. Flexing his figure, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as a result of just how far he's come. It wasn't something that he achieved overnight after all. Lots of effort had to be made to get his body to the level that it was currently at.

While he washed up, some things came to mind. Like there were people who might have struggled with the idea of going to the gym for the first time and plenty of questions that they had. As he lathered up his firm pecs and broad shoulders, it was properly occurring to him that he had a rather amazing set up. The gym was owned by his friend, Yeosang, which meant it would be fairly easy to set up a camera and record beginner guides to helping out those who needed the advice. While he rinsed off, his mind was already buzzing with ideas as to what he'd need to mention with Yeosang if he wanted to get the go-ahead on this idea.

In his mind, as long as he delivered his advice to a level that was befitting of the audience, it shouldn't be too hard to get the information out to everyone who needed it. He arrived at his apartment as he announced, "I have the best idea ever."

Wooyoung had flopped his head over on the couch to look at him, an eyebrow raised curiously while Seonghwa paused the game that he was playing to look at him. "Oh, how was the gym, Sannie?"

He simply gave a thumbs up before he sat on the coffee table in front of them to look at them eye to eye, almost like he needed to be at that level to brace them before his idea properly blew them away. "You're not ready for this."

Seonghwa kept his encouraging smile on his face while Wooyoung looked at him, a little exasperated, "What is it? You've hyped it up but haven't said it yet."

San paused for dramatic effect for a moment before he stated, "I'm gonna start a channel to promote fitness for first timers because they don't know what they're doing and Yeosang already gave me the go ahead."

There was a pause in the air before Wooyoung just sighed as Seonghwa politely began to play his game again, ready to listen as background noise, almost like his interest had pulled away.

"What?" San looked genuinely puzzled as to why the attention had waned.

"No offense, San, but I think I've seen about a thousand channels like that where they all advertise their advice. It's just oversaturated and almost everyone does it." Wooyoung rips the bandaid off rather easily and it's hard not to deflate a little.

He pouted rather easily, "It's a great idea! I didn't get like this without knowing my way around the gym so I think I'm pretty trustworthy!" The way that he flexes while having a cute expression flusters both of his roommates as Wooyoung openly gawks the muscles on display while Seonghwa pays closer attention to the game that's on the screen before pausing it when San seems to wait for them to comment again.

"Wooyoung does have a point, Sannie." It's hard not to coo at the sight of San being more pouty than expected as his plans are stepped on but Seonghwa continues, "But, I think you'd be able to carve a niche as you are. You do a pretty good job of that." He can't help but smile as he blushes at the kind words of the older one at that.

A pat on the shoulder comes from Wooyoung, "If you need someone to film, I'll be happy to help. I feel like you'd be bad at setting up shots." He raises a fist, threatening to hit his friend before muttering that he'd appreciate the help.

After a little bit more planning, the first video goes without a hitch and he can't help but feel a pit in his stomach as he watches the video process before it slowly uploads on their shared Internet. Both Wooyoung and Seonghwa are in the room as moral support when it finally finishes and he can't help but stew.

A couple of minutes go by and San whines, "I really put a lot of time into this introduction! Even Hongjoong helped me with editing everything in a nice way!" The video looked rather professional and not amateur at all thanks to the older man's touch that San promised to repay him for at dinner one day.

Wooyoung patted him on the shoulder comfortingly, "You can't expect everything on day one, San. It'll take some time." He left him in the room with Seonghwa who seemed to smile encouragingly, "Yeah, it already has about fifteen views now so that's more than just our friend group. Give it some time to settle!"

Even if he was going to heed their advice, it didn't mean he wasn't going to bed sulking... but when he woke up that morning, the fact that his phone was warm and currently buzzing with notifications was a cause for alarm. Looking at it in shock, all of his friends were sending him various links of different edits of him in the video that went viral.

He knew that he looked good but seeing people editing him to shreds while basically making thirst traps of what he had said was incredibly kind to his ego. He felt himself blush while reading the various comments that were left. Was there such a thing as digital footprint with what some of these people were saying? Either way, it didn't take long for his channel to blow up and thanks to his work with Hongjoong, he didn't need to completely rely on him for editing and knew how to do it for himself.

Everything was panning out. He received sponsorship and just about everything under the sun that came with being a successful content creator and it wasn't hard at all for him to stick out in the crowd. A few lingering shots on his body here and there and it would inspire someone to make another edit that would go viral. Even if a lot of people weren't there for advice, it was the views and fans that made him go viral which he vastly appreciated.

Before long, brands were starting to sponsor him. Athleisure clothing brands, various different services and he took a good majority of them. San hadn't had this much money forever even working full time. But, then, he received his largest sponsorship deal yet. It was a formal process. Signing with Fever Supplements, he would have an exclusive deal that would pay more than enough for him to cover his rent on his apartment alone for each month.

All he had to do was take their products and be causal about mentioning it. And considering he was already in the stage to start taking protein again to bulk for the winter, it wouldn't be hard. Plus, their pre workout had tasted amazing from his experience.

At the stage that he was at, he was starting to workout with guests because he knew that the edits seemed to get a lot more traction when one of his friends was in the gym with him. So far, Jongho, Mingi and Yunho had accompanied him before. Today, Mingi had come with him.

Watching San shake his drink shaker made him raise an eyebrow curiously, "What's that? It looks different than what you usually drink." The camera wasn't recording while they were still in the middle of warming up. San liked to record during stretches so that they could have more to capture. Mingi raised an eyebrow as San offered it.

Watching him take a sip and recoil, Mingi looked at the drink in surprise, "Woah... that's really sweet. Are you sure it's pre?" San shrugged, "It says it's pre workout on the container and I think it's their new flavour. It's pretty good though. It's been energizing me for a couple of weeks now before my workouts." Mingi looked at it rather suspiciously before he added, "Damn, I can see why. It wakes you up."

They usually assist each other in stretching and when it comes time to work with each other, San feels his waist intruded on by Mingi, large hands resting on his sides and for some reason, sinking in slightly as San yelps. "Isn't it early for bulking season?" Mingi snickers as San raises a fist, "Like you're one to talk." He pokes Mingi's softened middle who covers his stomach shyly before they continue.

It makes a sort of tension that persists through the video as San noticed how his friend had put on. It's not like he put that much on though. The fabric of his shirt was clinging to him but that's how most compression shirts fit. On Mingi, it was bulging a little at the stomach and he couldn't help but find himself staring.

While they were in the shower, Mingi's voice was clear through the constant stream of water, "Uh, San. Would you be able to hook me up with some of that pre? It really worked and I just had a sip." Blinking a couple of times in surprise, he looked at Mingi, "Really? All you had was a sip." Mingi shrugged nonchalantly before he added, "That's the best I've worked out in a while... but I still have some energy. How about you?"

The words hung in the air for a moment, the tension only growing more intense before San added, "Yeah. I could do some more." He wandered over to the other man before he saw the way that he moved his neck downward and pressed their lips together. Naked bodies were pressed into each other as the water continued to clean them of everything but their desires.

The perks of the semi-private gym were making their way to the surface now as they stroked each other. Doing anything else was a little riskier even if they knew they had the space to themselves because the staff needed to clean soon for the actual hours of the place. What San was noticing was the fact that Mingi's stomach which had been flat the last time he appeared in a video seemed to protrude and inflate when he breathed out in pleasure at San's touch that was threatening to make him come undone. Had he put on weight since then? Maybe his next video needed to be something about weight loss. But, his thoughts were wiped clean as Mingi moved down and began to suck him off. Clutching the railing, his fingers curled in his friend's hair while he made sure to show attention to just about every inch of his length. As much as Mingi ran his mouth, he always knew how to use it just as well which is why they hooked up as often as they did.

As they both helped each other wipe off the mess after experiencing a release, San's stomach growled. "Damn, you're that hungry?" Mingi slaps his friend on the ass, who yelps before he says, "If you want, we can grab some food with Yunho. He wanted to eat with me today anyways."

Another thing that he didn't realize following his sponsorship with Fever was the fact that he was hungry a lot more often. He didn't really notice it because most of the time, he did his own meal prep. But, San seemed blissfully unaware of how the portions of these preps had slowly been increasing everytime. Where it used to be properly be one portion, it was getting to the point where he would eat portions of three for just about every meal.

Whenever he ate out with friends, it was more absurd that he ever would have noticed. Yunho had noticed that Mingi was eating a fair bit as well but San's order nearly filled up the table. He looked curiously as the two stuffed their faces with everything that was bought. "Good workout?"

The pair nodded before going back to stuffing their faces as Yunho watched, feeling his face heat up as he watched Mingi beside him belch before he continued to eat his own food.

From this point forward, just about all of his friends were noticing the amount that San was eating as he continued to increase the portion sizes slowly but surely. Seonghwa noted that he was cooking just about every other second when he was at home and the planned meals were filling the fridge. Wooyoung had tried some of the protein shake that he mixed but felt full a quarter of the way through while San had started to drink two per day. Mingi was starting to become a regular on the channel and those little meals where they would spend nearly two hours eating were becoming a near daily occurrence that San could afford with no difficulty thanks to his income.

However, the strangest part to just about everyone that knew San was the fact that he didn't even notice what all this food was doing to his body. He was under the impression that with Fever Supplements, he was going to bulk. But, following the winter, what he hadn't done was bulk. He had grown beyond the word bulking.

What Mingi was after the influence that San had on him was chubby and even that was being nice. He was definitely lingering closer to fat these days. But San? San had gotten properly fat and was starting to border on obese.

Gone were the broad and defined shoulders that he had launched the channel with as they were replaced with rolls on his back and flabby moobs that were starting to hang with how much fat that they had blown up with. His stomach protruded out so far and his roommates could hardly believe he poured himself into skin tight clothes without breaking them.

Although, Seonghwa remembers one day where he had checked in on San because he had stated that he was going out to eat with Mingi, not even going to the gym this time. Wandering in his room after hearing some noises, Seonghwa gaped at the sight. San was hopping and just that alone was shaking the floor as the massive amount of fat he put on was jiggling as he tried to get himself into a pair of jeans that didn't even make it halfway up his thighs.

San turned his head, panting as Seonghwa noticed more closely that even his jawline that was sharp had blurred and was even starting to develop a double chin just naturally. He couldn't figure out why it was exciting him to this degree. "Ah... hyung, perfect. Can... you help me close these? I think I bulked up too much."

Seonghwa felt a shiver run down his spine as he moved to San. Placing his fingers on the sides of the pants, he gulped feeling his hands press into the soft cellulite on his thighs. Pulling it up was a lot of effort and even more difficult at the fact that San didn't realize how much he was jiggling at just about every desperate movement. They managed to make it up to where they should rest but were presented with the next problem.

The button.

Now, Seonghwa was seriously going to overload at the feeling of his knuckles pressing into the underbelly of San's fat gut while he tried to make the two ends reach. He had tried lying down and sucking in. "Is it easier now?" He wheezed out the question while Seonghwa was praying for how aroused this was making him. His hands brushed San's crotch a couple of times and he heard a couple of whimpers from his fat roommate before he made his advances less coy, placing a hand on the area. It had gotten fatter too given how he knew San's length was a lot more plentiful the last time they hooked up.

San mewled in pleasure when Seonghwa's hand slipped into his pants, starting to please him before he realized that with just about every pump that caused San to move his hips, his gut would move too and make it more difficult to stroke him between the pressure of the tight underwear and his belly moving into his erection. San was losing himself to the pleasure of the feeling but still so horribly unaware of the point that he's blown up to.

They continue on before San releases, soiling his underwear as they both try to catch their breath. The last thing Seonghwa says before he leaves was that he should just wear something comfortable if he's going to out to eat with Mingi.

He does listen and when Seonghwa leaves the room, he's pulled into Wooyoung's room. On his computer screen, he sees orders for clothes identical to what San has in his wardrobe, just to replace everything with proper size ups. Seonghwa can't help but blush when Wooyoung reveals that this isn't the first time that he's done this before but he has San's card and he's gotten enough funding to the point he can pay it off without glancing at what's being bought.

It became an experiment basically. Just how massive could San get without noticing just how much these supplements were doing. Yunho had looked at the label and saw appetite stimulant and bulking formula on just about every product and weight gain enhancers in nearly everything that San mixed into his drinks. Mingi had grown at a slower pace but because he was with San so often, the damage had been done to the other gym goer as well.

The thirst edits of San hadn't changed. In fact, they had only steamrolled alongside his weight. Now, instead of focusing on his muscles, they focused on how strong his arms still were while they jiggled with fat when in between sets. How his belly spilled out of various workout shirts and how plump his ass was when he turned around while doing something. The fans were just about as ravenous as the one they were making these edits for and he didn't pay it any mind because it was still about his body.

In his eyes, he just viewed it as light pudge... even if he was getting to the point where his fattened form was knocking things over with either his belly or ass whenever he was at home.

He had reached a large milestone after almost a year. Over five million subscribers to the channel. In this time, he put on more than double his weight and didn't even bat an eye to the changes, which is still what shocked the other men the most. Didn't even think about how he couldn't fit in booths at restaurants or how difficult it was to do his stretches with Mingi when they were both of massive proportions. Their shower room hook ups had gotten a lot less subtle with all the bulk and San being teased about how much he had put on.

But, that wasn't the focus. He was finally treating Hongjoong to a meal that he promised. He had started to do a lot of the editing himself, so in the groove that he didn't even bat an eye at the way his sides were pressed against the arm rests of his desk chair most of the time. The editing style was retained and Hongjoong was rather proud of the younger man.

He hadn't expected the shorter man to choose an all you can eat restaurant as their destination. "Ah, hyung~ If you eat here, you'll get bigger~" San teased rather easily as Hongjoong's eyes scanned the massive man as if he could talk. He wasn't the slimmest person, carrying a small belly but it's not like he had grown to the size that Mingi had gotten to and San was an entirely different beast. He heard from the rest of their friends that he was unaware but he didn't think it was this crazy.

The two sat down at the booth as Hongjoong said, "Sannie, just let me grab what you want. You might be treating me today, but we're celebrating you too! You're probably the most popular fitness creator out there." It took a lot to not laugh at the sight when he said that. The most popular fitness creator being the largest person in the room, who's gut was pressing into the table and even resting on it where it protruded.

San smiled, "If that's what you say, hyung. I'll be sure to eat well." He had no doubts that the younger had been doing that for months at this point but today would be a proper test. Plate after plate was brought to the growing influencer as he stuffed his face just as well as he promised.

The clothes that his roommates bought for him could only do so well after the third upsize and around the seventh plate, San felt a relief in pressure as his gut expanded and pushed the table off balance for a moment. Hongjoong grabbed it in a panic as he heard the button rattling on the floor.

San looked flustered as he finally took in his body and how everything had settled on him. This wasn't just winter weight. In fact, it was the middle of the next fall. He had gotten so fat that he had broke his clothes. His fattened hands found his gut as he rubbed it, a small groan leaving him as he belched loudly, feeling his face flush from the people around staring at the gluttonous display he had put on.

He squirmed in his seat as he realized his ass needed two chairs to properly rest in them. Looking at Hongjoong who was equally as flustered by the sight, San whined, "Hyung, can we go to your place? I didn't mean to make a mess like this..." There was embarrassment bubbling up in his tone but all of his friends knew that was something that he enjoyed. He just didn't ever expect it to be in this way.

Even in Hongjoong's car, he was more aware of how it dipped and groaned when he sat in it, his belly filling up the space between him and the dashboard as he tried to relieve the pressure that had built up within it. Once they arrived at Hongjoong's apartment, Hongjoong pressed against him into the wall as San groaned while a burp bubbled up. "Oh, Sannie. How did you just realize this now?"

San felt his face flush while Hongjoong's hands explored his ample body, squeezing his moobs and getting a whimper from the younger. "You keep working out but when you're stuffing your face like that everyday, it's just barely keeping you strong." He still had muscles but the chub all over his body was more overwhelming than anything else. Each inch that Hongjoong pinched was a reminder of how he had let the supplement properly take effect and blow him up.

"I still am strong... I thought it was just bulking and-" He groaned when he felt Hongjoong's hands cup his ass and lift it, feeling the heft to him while he relished in the feeling. "This is more than bulking, Sannie. You're fat."

Hearing it plainly made a shiver run down his spine. Was that why he was having so much trouble to do certain things? Was that why people were referring to him as big guy? Was that why when Wooyoung rode him the other week, he only got his hands on his belly and he couldn't even see his own dick when looked down?

Hongjoong squeezed his crotch as they moved to his room, a mix of fat, desire, and pleasure to describe their bodies while they made out. A couple of times where Hongjoong leaned on his gut and got a burp out of the younger to his embarrassment before they continued, stripping each ill fitting layer away from San before he ended up with his ass pointed and his gut pressed into the mattress.

It oozed in just about every direction as Hongjoong inserted a finger, prepping San to take him. He had gotten so massive that Hongjoong, even with his chubby form, felt so much smaller. He was feeling his thighs mashing his fat pad into his underbelly as he rocked back and forth with Hongjoong's preparation of him.

He moaned when feeling Hongjoong enter him, his small belly resting on San's overly softened back as he pumped back and forth, sending ripples into his overfed body. San might have had all these fitness sponsorships but he had grown to a size where he was getting off better from his body humping his fat than properly being fucked and it was only skyrocketing his enjoyment.

It didn't take long for him to finish with how much his dick pressed into his underbelly as he released with a shout and panting to catch his breath while Hongjoong thrusted deep into him, clutching him by the love handles to get a better grip and reached his own ending soon after.

San lied down, flopping onto his back, watching his belly expand and eliminate the view of anything past it feeling himself grow harder again. Hongjoong admired the sight while he lied down next to him, rubbing his belly to help the younger digest after both the food and the pleasure that had just run through him.

A single question filled the air.

"Hyung, what if I put on weight intentionally?"

Insatiable for more was a good way to describe him but he liked himself getting this fat... and it would only get better if he did it on purpose.

#kpop feederism #atz feederism #gyuluttonous behaviour #chubby san #weight gain fiction

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oakwave · 9 months

Text

My hero -

Smut-Van palmer x reader

Warnings: football injury, mentions of blood, smut

Description: Van being all sweet n shit when reader is injured

Words: 1350

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"EVERYONE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE PITCH" Jackie's voice bellows through the locker rooms after giving her 'we will win this' 'work as a team' speech. Everyone begins heading out of the dingy room, me and van lagging behind a bit as she pecks me on the cheek and I tell her to be safe. I always get worried when we have a game, mostly for vans safety, I mean getting balls pelted at you is no fun (in any context) and she could get seriously injured if she's not careful, not that I question her ability I know how good she is but if someone else isn't playing by the rules her skill doesn't effect her being injured. By this point van taps me on the arm, pulling me out of my thoughts "I'll be ok, I'm an amazing goalie remember" she reassures me, a smirk plastered on her lips. "Yeah I know, good luck van" I speak and she wishes me the same as we head into position.

I wait for the whistle, eyeing up our opponents. Some of these girls look fierce, still I'm sure we can win. At that moment the whistle blows, throwing me into action. Me and tai run forward blocking girls from the other team as Shauna takes the ball into possession. I run forward as Shauna passes to Jackie who passes to me, sprinting towards the goal and getting ready to pass to tai who's on my left, away from the other team, suddenly I feel myself flying forward, the ground getting closer and closer until a pain shoots through my nose and I momentarily lose the ability to breath. I roll over, my eyes meeting the soft blue of the sky, hearing a commotion around me as Lottie comes to kneel beside me "hey, hey are you okay?" She says gently, "obviously fucking not, look at her nose" Nat speaks. It's at this moment I notice the metallic taste inhibiting my senses, my hand brushes my nose creating a shock of pain and painting my hand red. "Oh hey no no don't do that!" Van speaks frantically, taking my hand, when did she get here ? It doesn't matter I'm happy she's here. I hear tai and Jackie arguing with who I assume tripped me over and coach telling Van to take my to the nurses office and our other goalie to take over for her. Van and Shauna help me up, everyone else seems to be hovering around me, do they expect me to fall AGAIN?

Van takes my arm around her shoulders and I feel her hand on my waist. "Hey baby" I say with a smile, "hi babe, you feeling ok?" She asks worriedly. "Yeah I'm fucking greeaaaaatt" I answer feeling a little dizzy and a throbbing in my head. "you're probably concussed so I'll let you have that one" she smirks at me and I grin back, the blood still dripping from my nose.

We make it to the nurses office and van stays with my while I get cleaned up and sent home, with an ice pack to hold against my face, at which point Van insists on walking me as she can't drive and she doesn't think it's safe I do, with no one else to pick me up with my parents being on a business trip I agree to her demands.

Eventually we make it back to my house, no one's home as expected and Van helps me take of my shoes and checks my nose again. "The swellings not to bad but there's a bit more dried blood, c'mon I'll clean it off for you" van says, staring at my face, before taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. "Oooo dried blood, bet I look the sexiest right now" I say sarcastically, feeling a little self conscious of how I look , I mean we've seen each other sweaty and gross from practice before but I think I probably look at least a little fucked up . We reach the sink and she starts to speak while wetting a paper towel and cleaning my face, one hand cupping my jaw and the other delicately wiping away any blood, " your the most beautiful girl I've ever seen y/n" she whispers while looking at me, I stare back at her blushing " I love you van" I whisper back, she finishes with the paper towel binning it under the sink, hand staying cupping my jaw as I reach for her face, the gap between us narrowing, her other hand finding it's way to my waist as our lips connect, pulling me in close. I push her towards the kitchen counter until her back meets it but she quickly reacts, flipping us so I'm pinned against it instead. She swipes her tongue against my lips but I refuse her entry, causing her to squeeze my hip evoking a moan from me, granting her access. I separate from her momentarily, my breath shallow "upstairs?" I say more of an order then a question and she grins nodding, pecking my lips before I take her hand and lead her to my room. Once we get there I push her on the bed and she pulls me into her lap, my hands still tangled in her hair as our lips reconnect. I feel myself getting more turned on by the second as she guides my waist back and forth over her thigh, causing me to grind myself down on her. I pull her shirt off, revealing her sports bra, before removing my own, exposing my lace bra, which she (not so subtly) stares at. "Like what you see palmer?" I question cheekily. "I'd prefer it off to be honest" she states before reigniting our kiss, hands reaching behind my back to remove the fabric. She kneads the soft skin on my chest, sending flutters straight to my core, resulting in a moan. Her hands then go lower to the waistband of my shorts, pulling them and my panties off at the same time. She flips me over so I'm laying down on the bed, taking her remaining clothes off too, making us fair. She kisses my lips, then my jaw and neck and chest all the way down to my thighs, sucking dark purple bruises on the skin there, making me squirm. I watch as she makes her way to my heat, kissing and sucking my clit, evoking a guttural moan from me. "Fuck van" "your doing so good baby" she replies coaching me through the pleasure, my hands snake their way down to her fiery hair once more. She continues her actions until my back starts to lift from the mattress, static flowing through my veins as the coil inside me snaps, Van continuing her motions until I'm finished. "Jesus Christ your amazing" I say as I pull her back up to eye level with me, planting my lips on hers, only this time I hit my nose on her cheek causing pain to radiate through my face. "Oooo hey you ok?" she asks, a familiar look of worry inhabiting her features. "Yeah no I'm ok, what a way to ruin the moment tho. I wanted to return the favour" I say sadly, wanting to bring her as much pleasure as she brought me. "Hey no it's fine honestly your injured it's my turn to take care of you, ok?" "Yeah sure, you're doing a really good job at that by the way, thank you" "yeah I know duh did you hear yourself back there all that 'fuck van!'" She says imitating my moans from earlier. "Heyyyy stop no fair" I say smiling at her, she smiles back pecking me on the lips and starting to get up. I frown at her asking where she's going and she reaches out a hand pulling me up, "c'mon we need a shower" she states pulling me up and towards the bathroom where we shower, before eating dinner and cuddling for the rest of the night.

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Hey babes, how did everyone find that? I've been reluctant to write smut as it's been a while and I don't know how good I am at it anymore. Also I didn't really want to add much attentions to vans boobs on account of liv hewson (the actor who plays Van) being non binary it felt kinda icky to draw a whole bunch of attention to that part of the character.

Planning a part two to the tensions rising oneshot 🫶🏻

Let me know how you all found it :)

#teen van #van palmer smut #van palmer x reader #van palmer #lesbian #1996 #yellowjackets #shauna shipman #lottie matthews #nat scatorccio #liv hewson #livhewsonxreader #wlw ns/fw

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canirove · 7 months

Text

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 1

Summary: June Maxwell, football star. Ben Chilwell, ex football player and tv pundit. Life had broken her heart (figuratively) and his (quite literally). But when they were together, their pieces became whole.

Author's note: Finally found the inspiration to write another story with Ben! I was expecting to start posting it while surronded but lots of new content, but his hamstring had other plans 😔 So I hope that at least it helps you miss him a bit less. It is another enemies to lovers story (kind of), I am sucker for those 😅 The character of Vittoria, one of June friends and teammates, is completely made up, but all the other players mentioned are based in real people. Hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

"I can't believe we are starting another season already. It feels like yesterday when we were playing our last game!"

"This summer has completely flown by. What do you think, June?"

"Uh?" she said.

"You weren't listening to us, were you?" Vittoria laughed.

"She probably was busy texting her hot dj" Lauren smirked. "Where is he now? Ibiza? Las Vegas?"

"He actually is in London."

"What?" both Lauren and Vittoria said at the same time.

"He's visiting his family and wanted to meet, but since we are playing in Liverpool and he is leaving tomorrow…" June shrugged.

"That's what happens when you date someone famous" Lauren laughed.

"We are not… Son of a bitch!"

"Hey, I'm trying to nap!" one of their teammates complained from the other side of the plane.

"Sorry!" June said. "But I can't believe what I just read."

"What did the dj do?"

"Him? Nothing. It's Mr. Chilwell. He says I don't deserve to be one of the captains!"

"Oh my God, June. Why do you keep paying attention to him?" Vittoria said, rolling her eyes.

"Because I can't understand why he is so obsessed with me."

"I've always thought he is in love with you."

"What?" June laughed.

"I think he is in love with you but has to be mean on camera because if he praises you, people will notice and he will never see the end of it" Lauren explained.

"Ben Chilwell in love with me? Please."

"Think about it. It makes sense" she shrugged.

"No, it doesn't."

"It does for me" Lauren shrugged again. "And you would make such a cute couple... Even your last names rhyme. Maxwell and Chilwell" Lauren smiled.

"You've gone mad."

"Oh, c'mon. I haven't forgotten about the huge crush you had on him when we all were at the academy."

"Every girl had a crush on him, to be honest" Vittoria pointed out.

Benjamin Chilwell, Ben, Chilly. He had been one of Chelsea's most promising players, making it to the first team when he was 18 and becoming one of the captains at 21. But everything ended when he was just 23 and diagnosed with a heart problem. Playing football on a professional level was over for him, but he discovered he could still be part of that world as a pundit. He knew the sport, how to speak, and had the looks to be on tv because he happened to be stupidly handsome. He had been the crush of so many over the years for a reason.

"Yes, everyone was in love with him. You included. And now you are two hot and successful adults obsessed with the other" Lauren said.

"I'm not obsessed with him. He is with me" June protested.

"Ok, fine. Maybe he is more obsessed with you. But his reviews are the first you always check and the ones that matter the most to you. There must be a reason behind that."

"That I don't get it! Have I done something to him?"

"Being talented, beautiful and simply amazing, which makes it easy to fall in love with you."

"He… urgh. This is the most pointless conversation ever."

"If you say so…"

"It is. Ben isn't in love with me, and I'm not in love with him, Lauren" June insisted.

"Then what is it, uh?"

"Maybe he's jealous because you have everything he wanted" Vittoria said.

Like him, June had grown up in Chelsea's academy, and even though she was a couple of years younger, their careers had followed a similar path. She made it to the first team at a very young age, being called by the national team not long after. She had become the star of both teams, winning individual awards right and left, the most important brands being interested in signing her as an ambassador. She was a star. And this season, she would be Chelsea's first captain, which to her was one of the biggest honours.

"See? That makes more sense" June said. "But still…"

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Ok, girls. Let's do this!" June cheered up her teammates before going into the pitch to do their warm-up. As she stepped out, she couldn't help but look to her left, to where the tv set was. To where he was. "Ok, focus" she said to herself. She was there to play football, to win. Not to think about a certain pundit.

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"There goes June Maxwell. If she scores this penalty, it'll be a hat-trick for Chelsea's captain. She gets ready… and goal! What an extraordinary penalty by Maxwell."

"No goalkeeper could have stopped that" Jacob said.

"If the goalkeeper had been better positioned, it would have not been that easy."

"Oh, Chilly" Andrew laughed. "New season but you haven't changed a bit."

"Pretty sure that her 1, 2, 3 and that smile at the camera was directed towards you" Jacob chuckled.

"What she should do is care about playing football, not what I say" Ben replied, his eyes focused on the replay of her celebration and the big smile on her face.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Lauren, what the fuck?" June said while reading the things her teammates had written on the ball from the game.

"What?" she shrugged.

"May this be the first hat-trick of many this season. Suck it, Chilwell."

"C'mon, June. You were thinking about him when you did the penalty celebration."

"I wasn't."

"You were. It was a beautiful fuck you."

"It… urgh."

"If it bothers you it's because you know it is true!" Lauren laughed.

And she wasn't wrong. June always gave everything on the pitch and tried to play her best, but she had been extra motivated that day. She wanted to show Chilwell how wrong he was about her, that she deserved to be Chelsea's captain, to lead the team. When the ball had gone in after that penalty, her first thought had been for him. And she had the feeling it would not be the last time that season…

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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mrsnancywheeler · 2 months

Note

OKAY SO-

You said onetime that Finnick and sweet girl have major hadestown vibes and that’s so real!!! (That literature paper I wrote that was around 4,000 was actually about hadestown! I was writing about the contemporary political themes and love)

The sudden way Finnick went to talk to her for the first time reminds me so much of “come home with me” and overall their love story reminds me of “all I’ve ever known” because of just how much they’re like “the world is shit but when I’m with you everything is okay” yk? And Finnick is so Orpheus, willing to risk everything for Eurydice.

ALSO!!! Sweet girl reminds me of “flowers” specifically after the capitol took her after the quarter quell. I mean the whole song takes place when Eurydice can’t remember Orpheus but all she can’t remember is the feeling of safety, the feeling of belonging,

I could talk about hadestown all day (my original draft was 5,000 words) , and I could talk about the lakes all day

-🌾anon

YES YES YES I've be wanting to fully explore this so buckle up guys this is a long ride, ily so much pookie bc I've missed your thoughts while I've been sick 😭

(also that as an essay topic is so real and I bet it was absolutely amazing)

starting off with all I've ever known because it is so absolutely them in every sense of the song

"this is how it's always been, all I've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too." finnick only has people he perceives as fair weather friends or those who use him, but then there's her and suddenly he doesn't have to worry about that. and she's so used to masking, protecting herself but then there's him, all she longs for.

we know sweet girl is always cold and finnick is the warmth to contrast that, her sun to keep her from freezing "you take me in your arms, suddenly there's sunlight all around me, everything bright and warm and shining like it never did before and for a moment I forget just how dark and cold it gets."

"now I wanna hold you, hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. now I wanna hold you, hold you tight, I don't wanna go back to the lonely life." both of them longing for each other's touch, presence, the release found in being with one another

readers anxiety about not being worthy and deserving suffering is so, "I don't know how or why. who am I, that I should get to hold you?"

and finnick knowing she's the one before they've even really spoken, he just knows it's right is so, "it's like I'd known you all along, I knew you before we met and I don't even know you yet. all I know's you're someone I have always known."

and him and his sweet girl as the back in forth at the end, chef's kiss perfect

"say that you'll hold me forever. say that the wind won't change on us. say that we'll stay with each other and it will always be like this." with her never ending anxieties

"I'm gonna hold you forever, the wind will never change on us. long as we stay with each other, then it will always be like this." as finnick trying to reassure his sweet girl.

side bar to a line in hey, little songbird that always makes me think of her when she's trying to differentiate reality from lies in the Capitol

"suddenly nothing is as it was. where are you now, orpheus? wasn't it gonna be the two of us, weren't we birds of a feather?"

moving onto flowers which is so her

"dreams are sweet until they're not. men are kind, until they aren't. flowers bloom until they rot and fall apart." the dream of being with finnick getting her through the games versus the reality of winning and what that took. the trafficking faced in the capitol AND when conway turned on her, playing into the romantic facade in the end. her when she was young, become a husk of that.

and then the feeling when she's in the Capitol and can't verbalize how she's feeling, she just needs people to know because it's all too much. she doesn't want to be unreadable, she longs to be herself again but isn't quite there yet.

"is anybody listening? I open my mouth and nothing comes out. nothing. nothing gonna wake me now."

then out of all the negative, twisted memories, the positive anecdotes she does have. and the way she's so scared but still longs for finnick regardless.

"flowers, I remember fields of flowers, soft beneath my heels. walking in the sun, I remember someone, someone by my side turned his face to mine."

"you, the one I left behind. if you ever walk this way, come and find me lying in the bed I made."

AND FINNICK IS JUST SO WAIT FOR ME CODED

"wait for me, I'm coming. wait, I'm coming with you. wait for me, I'm coming too." like he so desperately wanted to instantly go back to the capitol and save her or just be with her that he was stuck in a constant state of sedation when they refused to let him.

"that town'll try to suck you dry. they'll suck your brain, they'll suck your breath, they'll pluck your heart right out of your chest." the lengths he's willing to go, the trials he'll endure for her

a small time to flash back to wedding song because on a fluffier note it's so a back and forth between them

sweet girl is so "lover, tell me if you can, who's gonna buy the wedding bands? times being what they are, hard and getting harder all the time."

and the ever reassuring finnick "lover, when I sing my song, all the rivers will sing along. and they're gonna break their banks for us and with their gold be generous. all a-flashing in the pan, all to fashion for your hand, the rivers gonna give us the wedding bands."

okay and the way reader views herself and what Snow manipulation to hijack her, and how they always mention fate is tearing them apart is very akin to when the chips are down.

"help yourself, to hell with the rest, even the one who loves you best."

"what you gonna do when the chips are down? now that the chips are down. " " oh, my aching heart."

"ain't nobody but yourself to trust"

"aim for the heart, shoot to kill. if you don't do it then the other one will."

"cast your eyes to heaven, you get a knife in the back. nobody's righteous, nobody's proud, nobody's innocent, now that the chips are down"

AND PROMISES like finnick trying to work them back though what the Capitol did to her and she's so desperate to be herself again even if she's struggling. and he's trying but he uncertain on how to do it especially since this isn't the future he necessarily envisioned for them.

(in a sweet girl then finnick line set up)

"let's go, let's go right now"

"okay, let's go. how?"

"we'll walk, you know the way. we'll just come back the way you came."

"it's a long road, it's a long walk. back into the cold and dark. are you sure you wanna go?"

"take me home."

"I have no ring for your finger, I have no banquet table to lay, I have no bed of feathers, whatever promises I made. I can't promise you fair sky above, I can't promise you kind road below, but I'll walk beside you love. anyway the wind blows."

"I don't need gold or silver. just bread when I'm hungry, fire when I'm cold. don't need a ring for my finger, just a steady hand to hold...just walk beside me love, anyway the wind blows"

and both of them "do you let me walk with you? I do. I do. and keep on walking come what will? I will. I will. we will."

this is all for now because it's so long but they're literally them and I'm convinced this is just one of the lessons they've learned in a past life when he turned around. so now he's learning to trust in this life.

and as evident so can I lmao 😭 I'm glad we're on the same page though. love you 💋

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair #the lakes #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #the river #🌾 anon

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breakfastteatime · 11 months

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hope you don't mind the rant but argh i finally realised why i feel so disconnected to survivor in comparison to how close jfo is to me

spoilers for those who haven't played survivor

but i really dislike major decisions made and i'm gonna babble on a little (i've had like eight panadol and two sleeping meds as of the last hour n a half so if this doesn't make sense that's why)

one that's been swirling around my head ever since i played us that it really felt like they brought cordova back JUST to kill him off. this also ties into my next point that i find bode's betrayal hard to believe as well. every role he had in the story could easily be replaced by someone such as cere, and i felt like the only reason he was there was to have someone for bode to kill to show how really evil he was but respawn didn't want to kill any of the main cast off. he's such a useless character in the plot that killing him off didnt effect anything LMAO

my next major dislike is, understandably, about bode :,) yes i know this can come off as making excuses for a character i was attached to since the trailers dropped but the more i think about it the more i really cannot understand both the timeline and the motive that was behind bode's betrayal. i kind of get the idea he was lax about betraying them UNTIL cal mentioned using tanalorr for the hidden path but according to the echoes you get after the game bodenis plotting and scheming the whole time... plus, you think that his whole motive relies on creating a safe place for kata on tanalorr where no one can find them but also like. you have two (technically three) jedi, a nightsister, and a whole clan of anchorites that kick the empire's ass every day. "will you be able to protect her when the empire comes?" fuckass have you SEEN cal use a lightsaber?? kata is safer with cal then she is bode

dagan was hella underwhelming too which disappointed me tbh i was excited for this high republic jedi to show us all this cool stuff only for him to die in like three seconds 😔

ANYWAY i hope this ain't too long but i'd love to hear your thoughts/criticisms on js bc i love the game and all the little bits are amazing but some of the decisions made have me a bit hrghh

Okay, friend, you asked for it ;)

The decision to bring back Cordova was an unexpected one, but the sight of him makes me cry happy tears every damn time, so it doesn't bother me at all. I take your point re: Cere being able to do everything he does, but part of Bode’s betrayal also hinges on him betraying Cere to Vader, who clearly wants vengeance after Nur (which is SO IN CHARACTER for Vader I can only lol. Petty bitch.), so Bode killing her wouldn't have had quite the same impact.

Because I was so convinced he was dead that him *actually* being dead didn’t strike me as ‘brought back only to die’. I would argue that killing him off did put them at risk of not being able to reach Tanalorr and defintely drove Cal to Nova Garon, but yes… Cordova's character probably lacks development and definitive purpose compared to the others… Although even as I say that, I find myself thinking of the logs he left behind in the various ruins on Jedha and the words of advice and I just can’t get mad. Plus there's that teeny hint that he's been unwell when Merrin asks how he's feeling. I see your points, yes, but I'm not too fussed by any of it.

Moving onto Bode...

So, here’s my interpretation of Bode, based on the post-game echoes and the little nuances that take on a totally new light on a replay. Bode is playing Cal from the very beginning. They are never friends from Bode’s perspective, and he is a master manipulator. He’s a textbook abuser – he lovebombs Cal with compliments and praise to cement their relationship, and does the same with everyone in his family. Plus, he used his knowledge of Cere’s location to further his cause with the Empire.

There’s also a power dynamic at play here because Bode was a Jedi Knight during the war while Cal was still a Padawan. Bode is older and more experienced with the world than Cal. He knows Cal longs for friendship, and he wields that against him more effectively than any weapon. Every action, every word, every choice Bode makes is solely to dig in deeper with Cal so he can and Kata can escape the Empire. Had Cal agreed that Tanalorr would just be for them, *maybe* Bode wouldn’t have betrayed him the way he did, but Bode is well on his way to the dark side because of his attachment to Kata. And Cal very nearly follows him because of his attachments to his family.

To me, this is what the Jedi Order meant by 'no attachments'. Jedi are allowed to love, but when that love becomes all consuming, when it becomes an obsession, that’s when the attachment becomes dangerous. Bode’s story is very similar to Anakin’s, he’s just not as powerful. Hasn’t got those Skywalker genes 😉

Bode’s motive to me is clear – he *thinks* everything is about Kata, but actually it’s all about him. It’s about his grief and rage and fear because of his wife's death the terrible choices he made. Denvik promises that if Bode gives him what he wants (Cal and Cere), he will reveal which Inquistor murdered his wife. Bode is already in it for revenge, not his daughter's wellbeing. His choices are very pre-meditated. He is a parent, yes, and I can understand that overriding love of a child, but he is also a grieving husband who is so broken by his loss that his love for Kata has become too possessive. He is terrified of losing his daughter, and it eclipses his love for her. Kata is aware of this, and her love is also turning to fear. Bode is neglectful (he's always leaving Kata behind) and bordering on abusive at the end. He trusts no one but himself, and he even asks Cal at the very end if he can protect Kata. Cal says nothing because he knows he can’t – he’s tried protecting so many people, and he’s lost nearly all of them. He won’t make a promise he can’t keep, and that’s what completely breaks Bode. Bode doesn’t believe anyone *but him* can protect Kata because he has become completely consumed with fear and anger. Cal gave him a chance to make a better choice when he disarmed him. In fact, Bode had *so many chances* to make a better choice, and he didn’t. So, when Bode responded by choosing to try and kill Cal, Merrin *and* very nearly his own daughter, Cal had no choice but to put him down – hard. That second shot took my breath away both times I played the game because Cal knows he cannot save Bode and protect the people who matter, and by showing Bode mercy, more people will die. It's also about control - Bode tries to control everyone. Cal knows he can't, so he takes the only option left - killing Bode. Honestly, the more I think about that finale, the more intense it becomes. It's an astonishing moment.

I do wonder if the reason people struggle with Bode is because he is so nice, and he fits in so well, but it’s all fake and it’s all an act. Whether you saw it coming or not, that hurts. Cal – and the player – want so badly for Bode to be better than he is, and that’s the tragedy. Bode’s not capable of that. He has suffered losses just like Cal, but he couldn’t overcome them. It’s a lot to deal with emotionally!

And as for Dagan, I quite like him! Mostly because that final battle with him incorporates my favourite Star Wars thing – WEIRD FORCE SHIT. He’s also a mirror held up to Cal – this is what you could become if your obsession takes over you. I also think his relationship with Santari Khri is meant to show Cal the potential pitfalls of his relationship with Merrin if his attachment overcomes him… but we’ll have to see what happens next…

Gosh this got long. It's always fun to see other people's perspectives and share my own! Hope you've got some rest and feel better soon :)

#jedi survivor spoilers #star wars jedi: survivor #jedi survivor meta #answered asks #bode akuna #cal kestis #dagan gera #eno cordova #long post #breakfast tea has THOUGHTS and FEELINGS #times like this I wish i had a youtube channel el oh el

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justimagineok · 1 year

Text

2:30 series - in the middle 3

You're sitting beside Jungkook on his bed, watching him play a game on his phone, zoning out. Jungkook has been watching you ever since you arrived, barely talking. You just greeted him, refusing to eat the food he offered you and settling for just sitting by his side, watching him play. He's been playing for almost 30 minutes, but you felt like 2 minutes, barely paying attention to your surroundings.

“You’re quiet today.”, Jungkook pause his game to look at you.

"I guess so. I’m just a bit tired, is all.”, you shrug.

“You sure that’s all it is?”, Jungkook frowned at you, odding your behavior.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”, you avoid his eyes, looking at his phone with the game paused.

"C'mon, ______. I can't see you're not fine. Talk to me."

You look at him, his eyes sincerely concerned with you. How could he be worried about you while he was in a situation like that?

"I'm just… Feeling lost, you know? Like, when you don't know where your place is anymore? I'm feeling like I've got nothing to look forward to. I might sound pathetic right now… ", you stop talking, shaking your head, wanting to erase everything you just said. Jungkook has more serious problems to deal with right now, and here you were, complaining. "I'm so, so tired, Kook. And not of activities… of life in general. I don't feel appreciated in my own skin. It just feels like I’m stuck. Like I can’t get past it."

"Well... For what's worth, I appreciate you.", Jungkook says simply.

"thank you", you say, giving him a smile. Jungkook kept looking at you, trying to think of something to cheer you up.

“Hmm... Do you want solutions or comfort?” , he asks, dead serious.

"Hell of confident today, aren't we?", you tease him. "I don't see any solutions for this right now."

"I'm always confident, babe…", he smirks. "Well... if you choose solution, I'll tell you about all the amazing things you have already done, the people you helped, the love you put in everything you do… I'll remind you what you might have forgotten. I'll tell you that I like your personality, your sense of humor, I like the stories you tell, and that I like being around you. If you choose comfort, I'll put your head on my shoulder just like that old song, and we're gonna watch Phineas and Pherb the whole afternoon and cuddle, and yeah, exes can cuddle if we do it respectfully, and yeah, I just made that up.", you laugh, pinching his arm. " I want you to remember I’m here, whether you need hugs, or ice cream, or… anything", he smiles simply, giving you time to pick one. You only stare at him, overwhelmed by the feeling your heart felt. 'Be cool my heart. He's being nothing but a great human being, like he always was. '

"So?", he calls your attention again. "Which do you wanna?"

You, your mind answered to itself.

"The Phinneas and pherb thing", you finally say, and he signs for his shoulder, so you lay your head. Jungkook hums satisfied.

"wanna hear a joke?"

"Do I have a choice?", you furrow your eyebrows at him, teasingly.

"No, you don't. Why did Adele cross the road? ", he says, not really waiting for your answer. "To say hello from the other side". He says dead serious.

You hold your laugh all you can, but it suddenly goes out, making him laugh too.

"That's the worst joke ever."

"I made you laugh, though."

The day passed quickly as the two of you watched Phineas and Pherb. You ended up dozing off next to Jungkook, only to wake up when the nurse coughed lightly, trying to wake you both up. She was far more understanding than you'd expect for someone seeing a patient sharing a bed with their visitor. Jungkook scratched his head in embarrassment as you jumped off the bed quickly, settling down next to him. You could have sworn you saw a smirk on his face.

After doing his physiotherapy session as usual, Jungkook seemed much more willing and happy, despite his leg still being in the recovery phase the doctor assured that in a few days he could remove the cast and start some exercises to walk freely again. He was ecstatic, to say the least.

His mood wasn't as different as you expected or as the doctors predicted, but you noticed how much more irritable he was since the accident. From being completely satisfied with his recovery, Jungkook went down to zero, cursing himself for not being able to be more agile at something as simple as 'getting better faster'. You always assured him that he was doing well, but even words of encouragement didn't seem to have any effect. He got irritated when his mother called, asking how he was doing, or when the members made video calls to keep him updated. He didn't just want to hear and see about it, he wanted to be there.

Despite all that, the two of you seemed to be doing well. Neither Jungkook nor you have spoken about the almost-kiss that happened or your confession of still loving him just the same. The subject hovered like an elephant in the room, but neither of you brought it up. Jungkook watched you, wondering if you would ever talk about it, but you didn't. You never brought up the subject. In your mind, you were focusing on the most important issue, which was healing Jungkook, but to him, it seemed like you just didn't care. That what you said made no difference. For a moment, he wondered if you regretted saying all that now that he was in the hospital, now that he needed you more than ever. He wondered if you were there out of sheer pity or some kind of moral obligation.

He pushed those ridiculous thoughts away quickly as he watched you nap next to him on the bed again. After annoying you to check the hallway for any sign of the nurse, Jungkook made room for you beside him, smiling as you lay down next to him, snuggling into his arms.

The two of you talked for a long time, remembering the peaceful days while you were together. The nights when you two would come home tired from work, just to cuddle on the couch, you playing with Jungkook's hand, tracing his skin, examining his tattoos closely. You remembered the day that Jungkook brought home Bam, the little puppy that took over both of your hearts. You guys laughed, remembering and trying to count how many times Jungkook made you watch Iron Man with you. He wouldn't admit that it was at least 7 times, much more if you count the times you fell asleep in the middle of the movie. You tried to count how much money you'd already spent on skittles, but Jungkook quickly changed the subject, swearing to heaven that he hadn't spent 30,000 won on skittles in his life, but you just laughed, knowing that sure enough, it was more. The day you ruined his old phone trying to do his laundry, a task he hated to do. It was a good time, you ended up admitting it. Inside himself, Jungkook swallowed the urge to sarcastically comment on how much pointless talking about any of that was, since you had decided to break up and ignore all the good things you've experienced. He didn't want to spoil the good time, but his chest tightened watching you sleep. You were so close and so far away at the same time.

"I think I'm falling in love with you all over again... and I can't take it.", Jungkook confessed to you, who was still fast asleep. "I can't, 'cause in the end, after I get all recovered, you're going to leave me again, aren't you? I'm just your charity case. Someone you need to save. Protect. As you know how to do it very well. ", his voice trembles, watching you sleep peacefully, oblivious to what he's saying. "And I'm good with that for now, because I missed you so much, ______... So, so much. And love so much you being here with me, but I can't keep doing this for much longer, babe…"

You moved a bit closer, putting your face even closer to his, but still heavy sleeping. "I'm still hurting… with everything. With you breaking us up, with you leaving me, with not knowing why you always run… for a brief little moment, I thought I got over you, but I didn't. I tried to show you that I'd be okay without you, but I wasn't. I was hurting… I'm still. ", Jungkook touched your chin softly. " I'm about to lose you again, and I don't know if I can handle that. I can't."

couple art by Gyung Studio - not mine

#bts fake texts #bts fic #bts fake chat #bts fake chats #bts scenarios #bts #2:30 #jungkook x yn #jk x you #jk x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jk x y/n #jungkook x reader

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just-a-carrot · 20 days

Note

Had the chance to sit down and play the new installment (that makes it sound like an appliance... OW: Smart Fridge Edition) and it's so viscerally raw and human. The whole game is, but wow. My favorite genre of fiction is fantasy, for being able to see a creator and their world as 'look at a life these people are living and the world they're living in'. A world surreal, fantastic, and all too easy to think about what it would be like if it was real-- acting like it is real with dreams of dragons and elves. Our Wonderland goes beyond that, in a way few other fantasy stories I've read have. It's not the fantasy of magical beings living in a sprawling, epic world; it's not the fantasy of a gigantic battle of good versus evil-- the fantasy comes in when the cast thinks their lives should be just like the tales of knights and glory. The fantasy is just humans trying their darndest, despite it all. Hoping for a better world. Which wouldn't be so worth commenting on if not for the execution. Every emotion, every action-- beat-by-beat it's gripping and a perfect sell into the world. Playing the finale elicited some feelings and memories I had forgotten about. The sense of turning on the GameCube late at night, going to play Mario Sunshine. Long road trips immersed in the scenery of forest and buffalo, after having spent hours staring at cities. Getting up to dumb hijinks with people I'd only know for a few days. Staring out into the open ocean upon a swing. I'm not sure why it brought those out, but I think it's because of how human the game is, it gets you to think. It got me to think, anyways. Anywho, thank you for an amazing experience Carrot. I hope you have a good rest, and that my thoughts are written here somewhat coherently. If not, I'll summarize: DAMN GOOD GAME. DAMN GOOD STORY. DAMN GOOD ART. DAMN GOOD.

SOB

i don't know how to respond to this... this is incredibly sweet and thoughtful and i'm not sure i have the eloquence currently to type up and actually decent response 🥺💦

but i can definitely feel in my heart what you mean. even if it's not necessarily the exact same emotions or in the exact same way, especially as the creator rather than the experiencer in this case. but like. OW has always filled me with those types of nostalgic feelings as well. maybe it's because at its core, its about these types of fundamental happinesses. and these fundamental relationships we form as kids. and perhaps also simply because so much of the OW cast's pasts and experiences draw so heavily from my own, so it becomes almost as though i'm looking back into my own past through some kind of slightly warped threshold or something

stuff like the final scene in the field for instance was inspired by a scene in majora's mask, which is something i used to play with my sister. we would talk the characters aloud and make up our own stories rather than what they were actually saying (usually really ridiculous and stupid stuff lakdsfjad) or make silly radio plays where we recorded ourselves acting our chars from the game. also a lot of the references both in and outside of the game (like in my non-in-game art and such) was inspired by my own memories. so thinking about the game often makes these additional nostalgic coils drift up through my own memories

at any rate, i can't be sure that's the exact type of same feelings you're talking about, but... i feel like i understand the vibe of what you're saying at least

AND OFC I'M JUST REALLY HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THE ENDING DLKJALDSKJFASD

i still can't believe it's really over. and i mean sure it's not OVER over because i still have plans for other stuff with the chars and even the revamp which would include still working on stuff for the main game. but nothing will ever be the same for me as working on this game itself. and i'm really so grateful for everyone who's joined me in this journey because i'm not sure i would have made it to the end without all of you 💦

but i digress. thank you for this lovely message and for attempting to write up your thoughts lsakjdfasd it really means a lot!! 💕

#ow: finale spoilers #ask: ow

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comradeyurika · 10 months

Text

Happy 26th anniversary to the release of the Digital Monster ver 1 V-pet, and to the Digimon franchise as a whole. This series has meant so much to me since I was a kid, and it has been there for me through a lot of ups and downs in my life.

To commemorate this anniversary it was only appropriate to make a countdown of some of my favorite Digimon related things:

Top 26 favorite Digimon (at this exact moment in time; this list could look very different next week):

26. Tukaimon:

Yes, a recolor, but I've always thought Tukaimon was cooler than Patamon. I'm a sucker for a nice evil version of a classic Digimon, and Tukaimon just has such a cool color scheme in my opinion. Definitely a Digimon that I wish had more of a prominent place in the franchise.

25. Wizarmon

A classic, iconic Digimon who has the iconic death in the anime's history. Wizarmon has such an amazing design, and his sacrifice in Digimon Adventure is a scene that I rewatch time and time again and always tear up. Even outside of the anime, Wizarmon has always been super cool, and the Witchelny is such a neat setting that I hope to see explored more in the future.

24. Mienumon

Probably my favorite overall design from Appmon, Mienumon was such an iconic villain in that series, and it was such a shame that she didn't stick around longer. I really like the design, and I hope that when we eventually see the Appmon integrated more fully with the rest of the franchise in future games that Mienumon makes her triumphant return.

23. Culumon

The cutest Digimon ever. Culumon was such a delightful presence in Digimon Tamers, and a digimon who I always want to see show up again even if it doesn't always make sense. We can make it work, just have the Digi-Entelechy show up again for some reason.

22. Jellymon

Jellymon-sama was one of the best parts of Digimon Survive, and a really strong new Digimon design. I love pretty much the whole look, and it's such an inspired way to make a jellyfish based Digimon really work.

21. Ogremon

A classic design that I don't think I need to say much more about. Ogremon has been a presence in Digimon since the earliest days of the franchise, and was really cool in the original Digimon Adventure. I'm happy that they're a Digimon that shows up so frequently, because they really are awesome.

20. Ranamon

Without a doubt the best of Digimon Frontier's villains, and just a really cute design. It's a real shame that we have not seen her make much in the way of appearances in recent years, and I hope that eventually changes.

19. Impmon

A nice simple design, and a great role in Digimon Tamers. Impmon really straddles the line between cute and cool a lot, and is a nice representation of mischievous type Digimon, who are one of the kinds that I really like.

18. Craniummon

Craniummon has a super cool design, and I loved how they were portrayed in Digimon Savers. They felt like the most dynamic of the Royal Knights in that series to me, and I'm always happy when they get to play a role in the story of a Digimon thing. I especially love the color scheme, and just look at Claiomh Solais. That thing is so cool.

17. DORUmon

One of the cutest Digimon, and one of the best representatives of the X-Antibody line in general, which is an era of Digimon that I feel is criminally overlooked. DORUmon was an excellent protagonist for the X-Evolution movie, and remains among my favorite Digimon to get in new games.

16. Fairimon

A nice and stylish design, and the best Digimon in Digimon Frontier. It is such a shame that Fairimon, just like everyone aside from Takuya and Kouji, was criminally underused in the second half. Also a special shoutout to Shutumon who also has a really awesome design.

15. Guilmon

Is there anything more I even need to say about Guilmon. He's one of the most popular Digimon of all time for a reason, and when you combine being the protagonist Digimon of the best anime and having such a cool design, it's easy to see why.

14. Imperialdramon Dragon Mode

I have so much nostalgia for downloading the clip of Paildramon first evolving into Imperialdramon around Christmas in 2000, so Imperialdramon has always held a special place in my heart. While the Fighter Mode and Paladin Mode are both cool, there's something just really special about the original Dragon Mode, especially because it's not the type of design we usually see for the main character's partner

13. Gazimon

Probably one of the oddest inclusions on my list, but when I was a kid, Gazimon was my absolute favorite Digimon (perhaps the color purple has always been something I like in Digimon designs looking over a lot of the Digimon on this list). While it no longer occupies that place, it still has a strong place in my heart, and I'm always happy when I see Gazimon.

12. Shoutmon X7

An amazing design, and an amazing insert song that always plays. I quite enjoyed Digimon Xros Wars as a series, and X7 was a great Digimon to build up to as you saw all of the protagonist Digimon coming together to form a champion for them all.

11. Renamon

Cool and elegant. There's not much more to say about Renamon. I feel like if you even remotely know what Digimon is, you know about Renamon.

10. Dark Knightmon

A villain so iconic that he has been brought back multiple times already, which is pretty rare for Digimon of that era. A super cool design, and a big part of why Xros Wars was so good. Please put him in the next Story game so I can play as him.

9. Bancho Lilimon

Criminally underused, and such a cool design. I would love for her to become the default Ultimate for Lilimon instead of Rosemon, not that I don't like Rosemon a lot. Honestly, her whole design is goals.

8. Lopmon

Definitely the cuter of the two siblings. I just love Lopmon's design so much; they're just so precious. I also think the extra horns work really well on their design. I don't want to knock on Terriermon, who is still neat, but Lopmon is just an incredible Digimon design.

7. Lilithmon

Beautiful and stylish. Lilithmon has always been a favorite of mine, so I was really excited when she showed up in Xros Wars and had a big role.

6. Bancho Leomon

One of the coolest Digimon designs of all time. We've had a lot of Leomon variants over the years, but none of them even approach Bancho Leomon's aesthetic. I loved his role in Digimon Savers, and I just love everything about this Digimon.

5. Vamdemon

The iconic Digimon villain. There's a reason almost every Adventure sequel has found some way to cram Vamdemon in in some fashion. He's just such an iconic and menacing villain, and his design is both spooky and stylish. I just love that cape.

4. Alphamon

A super cool member of the Royal Knights with an amazing cape and a great design. Alphamon has a fairly different color scheme for a protagonist Digimon, which is quite refreshing.

3. Dukemon

The best of the Royal Knights without a doubt. The design and weapons are both great, and Masako Nozawa has done such a great job making Dukemon sound cool across multiple different incarnations, although obviously Tamers is the biggest one. The Dukemon vs Beelzebumon fight is one of my favorite moments in any Digimon anime.

2. Beelzebumon Blast Mode

And speaking of Beelzebumon, I have to really shout out Blast Mode. Beelzebumon is super cool on his own, and would have probably made the list if I was okay with having two different modes of the same Digimon both on the list, but Blast Mode takes the design even further. Without a doubt the coolest Digimon in existence.

Lilimon

Lilimon is the cutest Digimon of all time, and my personal favorite Digimon. I love her design so much, and she's been such an inspiration to me over the years. Even though she's cute, she's also a fierce fighter, and my now and forever favorite Digimon.

Top Vocal Digimon songs:

26. Sora Mau Yuusha X5 by Koji Wada (Digimon Xros Wars insert song)

25. Ashita wa atashi no kaze ga fuku by AiM (Digimon Adventure 02 Ending 1)

24. Target ~Akai Shougeki by Koji Wada (Digimon Adventure 02 Opening)

23. Believer by IKUO (Digimon Savers insert song)

22. Innocent ~ Mujaki na Mama de by Koji Wada (Digimon Frontier Ending 1)

21. Accentier by Eir Aoi (Digimon World: Next Order Opening)

20. Never Give Up! by Sonar Pocket (Digimon Xros Wars Opening 1)

19. Hirari by Koji Wada (Digimon Savers Opening 2)

18. Evolution & Digixros ver. Taiki by Koji Wada and Takayoshi Tanimoto (Digimon Xros Wars Insert song)

17. Days ~ Aijou to Nichijou~ by AiM (Digimon Tamers Ending 2)

16. Beat Hit by Ayumi Miyazaki (Digimon Adventure 02 insert song)

15. We Are Xros Heart by Koji Wada (Digimon Xros Wars insert song)

14. Keep On by Ai Maeda (Digimon Adventure Ending 2)

13. X4B The Guardian by Koji Wada (Digimon Xros Wars insert song)

12. an endless tale by Koji Wada and AiM (Digimon Frontier Ending 2)

11. Brave Heart by Ayumi Miyazaki (Digimon Adventure insert song)

10. New World by Twill (Digimon Xros Wars Opening 2)

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9. Itsumo itsudemo by AiM (Digmon Adventure 02 Ending 2)

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8. GOUing! Going! My Soul!! by Dynmaite Shu (Digimon Xros Wars Opening 1)

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7. I wish by Ai Maeda (Digimon Adventure Ending 1)

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6. FIRE!! by Koji Wada (Digimon Frontier Opening)

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5. One Vision by Takayoshi Tanimoto (Digimon Tamers insert song)

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4. My Tomorrow by AiM (Digimon Tamers Ending 1)

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3. Butter-fly by Koji Wada (Digimon Adventure Opening)

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2. We Are Xros Heart ver X7 by Koji Wada, Takayoshi Tanimoto and Ayumi Miyazaki (Digimon Xros Wars Insert song)

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The Biggest Dreamer by Koji Wada (Digimon Tamers Opening)

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Thank you so much to everyone involved in making Digimon what it has been over the past 26 years, including Volcano Ota, Kenji Watanabe, Hiroyuki Kakudou, Yukio Kaizawa, as'maria, Kazumasu Habu, Koji Wada (RIP), Ai Maeda, Takayoshi Tanimoto, Ayumi Miyazaki, and everyone else involved. Here's to 26 more years.

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neos-schlond-poofa · 3 months

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An Ode to Angie Beneviento

Okay, so this actually will be a semi-serious post. LIKE I know I don't usually post serious stuff unless its an angst edit HOWEVER it IS Angie's birthday and she actually is a very important character to me. Obviously not the most important character to me though, that's Donna, but that is another post for another birthday.

But... I really love Angie's route. And it's really important to me. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm not really an open person about serious stuff (I THINK?? sam if you read this tell me pleak) or I'm talkative, but I think this is worth putting out there. Especially because of how much it means to me.

I'm ace. Like this really isn't me coming out, like I've always kind of been out as ace?? But I never really said it either on here but like I am ace and I never tried to hide it at least. This is so odd like this is kind of like me coming out. But it isn't. BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT. I just need to say that so this makes more sense.

Seeing Angie just straight up say she's asexual just made me feel so happy.

I can't tell you a single other ace person in media that (that isn't Todd from Bojack or also aromantic), and just seeing someone really silly like me? That made me feel so nice.

I tried to wish away me being ace before. Like, completely fine with the gay and non-binary stuff for the most part, but being ace? Hated it. Like, I don't like ess e ex (I really don't want this post to be hidden because I used the word), nor did I ever really have an interest in it. And I didn't want to have an interest in it really. Kind of? It's complicated.

I wanted to be like the others really. I've had relationships before where I hate myself for being ace, because I have never had an ace partner, and I just will never be enough for them because of that (minus the one time I did have an ace partner, but they were very disliking of physical touch which I do love). I used to try to convince myself that I can just stop being this way, I can change for them, all so they wouldn't leave me. I was ashamed of being this way, despite being so usually proud of my other parts of my identity. There was even a time when one of my exes tried to convince me that I wasn't ace too, but definitely didn't make this situation worse. I just didn't like being this way.

Although, it wasn't as strong when I started playing Resident Lover + when I got into my current relationship. Like, I am fairly fine now. Yeah, I still kind of do feel bad for being ace but like? Who cares? I mean I do but I know them and I know she would never hate me for that, it's just perfect. I love them so much.

But I still always have those thoughts. And I'm not saying Resident Lover completely eradicated those thoughts... but they did help them.

Seeing Angie just... openly say she's ace and set her boundaries and MC just accepting it? It was like. Amazing. I never really saw something like that (Todd from Bojack does NOT count, he is a guy. And I am not a girl either but I feel closer connected to girls because they're so much sillier and nice plus also like Angie more).

It was just so nice seeing representation that I hadn't really seen before, and one where I could see a character get into a happy relationship with someone they really love, and it all work out. Angie helped me accept being ace, she's helped me being proud of it, unlike any character before (okay sorry Todd). And, it's her birthday. And not that many people in this fandom appreciate her. And I know not that many people in the fandom will read this (you guys hate long posts despite being in a visual novel fandom... what is this don't you guys love reading???), but I still wanted to share it. To share MY personal story and how Angie is important to me, and just one of the many reasons why this game is so important to me too.

I love Angie Beneviento.

#resident lover #angie beneviento #happy birthday angie beneviento #asexual

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ingravinoveritas · 11 months

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Why is Anna suddenly coming out with new headshot photos on the day of the good omens trailer release? Girl your desperation for attention is showing immensely if you think choosing to post on today of all days will make anyone forget about the husbands and focus on you instead. Also, wtf re: Georgias insta stories? One question; WHY? Another question; Why are you always talking about and thinking about vaginas and penis’s?? Why do these two always have to be competing for attention whenever the boys have anything? Why can’t they just be normal partners and be supportive without trying to undercut them?

Holy wow, okay...my inbox blew up. Yes indeed, lots of goings on today, most notably the amazing GO 2 trailer, which I've watched several times and has filled my heart with unbridled homosexual glee.

As for the rest of today's happenings, well...oof. First off, for those who haven't seen, let's get the visuals up, starting with AL's new headshots that she posted and Georgia calling her Barbie:

And here is the video/screenshots from Georgia's Insta stories:

...Quite a bit to unpack here, it seems. In terms of AL's headshots, some of you mentioned this (as have other folks who DMed me privately about them), and I agree that they were purposely posted on the same day as the GO 2 trailer release. It's just flagrantly transparent at this point, given the number of times this has happened with previous GO 2 news, and so yes, I do think Anna was trying to capitalize on the news stories and social media chatter around GO 2 to bring attention to herself.

That being said...I'm really not sure who told her that these were good head shots, but they were not at all being honest. The lighting is terrible, her hair looks dull, and the pictures for whatever reason seem...flat, to me. There's no life in them, no spark, which is not helped by her seemingly vacant expression. (Why is her mouth hanging open in disgust in the first picture? Why is she staring into the abyss in the second? I'm so confused...) The pictures are reminiscent of a photo shoot she did last year that inexplicably involved sitting on a radiator while she was pregnant, and the common thread between the two seems to be that either the photographers did not give her good directions, or she just doesn't know how to "relate" to the camera, which...is probably not a good thing, given her chosen profession of acting.

But what really was striking to me was the caption on this new post. The disingenuous tone of "I will admit, not the biggest fan of having pictures taken" coupled with the fact that these pictures were deliberately posted on the day of the GO 2 trailer release makes it seem like she is fishing for compliments/praise. Add to that Georgia sharing the post and referring to AL as "my very own Barbie" (which comes across as incredibly fake) and it becomes clear that this was again coordinated, this time not only to gain attention via the GO 2 trailer, but also Staged 3's impending release on the BBC.

Which then brings us to Georgia's Insta stories. Lord help me, I don't even know where to start. Well, it's been brought to my attention that "Would you rather" is a game, one that is often played on long car rides/road trips and used by parents to entertain restless children. I don't think I ever played it myself as a kid, but the basic gist seems easy enough to understand. What's less easy for me to understand, however, is (as several of you pointed out) Georgia using said game to talk about penises and vaginas.

I'm the first one to acknowledge that I talk about sex a lot. It's part of the work that I do as an autism sexuality advocate, and I'm all in favor of using correct anatomical terms and teaching people about human sexuality/development, and therefore not at all one to begrudge someone talking about genitalia. But with Georgia's stories, I get the sense that she is doing it for shock value more than anything else...and when you talk about penises/vaginas as much as she does, after a while it starts to come across as crass instead of shocking.

By her own admission, Georgia has said she needs content, and so logically, talking about something spicy would be a good way to drum up engagement/generate content. Yet I couldn't help thinking of the fact that Georgia has numerous trans and/or gender non-conforming followers, and given the current climate around transgender issues in the UK (and US)--especially things like "bathroom checks" and the despicable obsession GCs have with trans people's genitals--her stories just edge too close to something unsettling for me. I'm not saying this was necessarily intentional on Georgia's part, but the fact that she then shared people's responses without knowing (or caring) whether people were okay with it made it even weirder and more disquieting.

Both Georgia and AL posted the trailer to their Insta stories after posting the things above, and again this seems calculated because then you have to view the stories about them before getting to the GO 2 trailer. But as @phantomstars24 said, the focus was swiftly pulled off of them (rightfully so) once that trailer was out. They absolutely could have chosen to depict themselves as supportive partners, but chose to come across as opportunistic and self-serving instead. I can't begin to fathom why, but...there it is.

So yes, there was quite a bizarre incongruity between what was happening on Instagram vs. Twitter/Tumblr today, and the fact that it came from Michael and David's own partners makes it even stranger. I'm sure Georgia and AL have been tapped to help with the promotion for GO 2 (and Staged 3), but it really does seem like they missed the mark here. Cringe for days...

#anonymous #phantomstars24 #reply post #good omens 2 #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #georgia tennant #also Georgia calling AL Barbie is strange to me because I've always thought of Barbie as having a personality #interpret that how you will #why do i always end up talking about penises on my blog #oh well #anna lundberg #discourse

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