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loganlermanstanaccount · 10 months

Text

Crush

(AO3 Mirror), Main Masterlist

pairing: Boss!Miguel x lab tech!reader

summary: You've got a crush on your boss. But it's harmless - doesn't mean anything. Until it does.

warnings: no warnings. just fluff :D

a/n: just a little something I wrote to take a break from the college au fic I'm writing. sweet and fluffy and happy bc I've put this poor guy through so much 😭

not proofread at all, my bad y'all

wc: 1.6k

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thinking about being Miguel's respite. His soft spot, a place to lay his head away from all the bullshit. you're not apart of the spider society, not strictly, just a technician that puts their head down and gets on with it. and sure, you've got a little crush on your boss, but who wouldn't? Miguel is smart, mostly calm, and surprisingly funny. whilst everyone cracks a smile at all the mile-a-minute jokes of the other spiderpeople; you find yourself laughing at all of your boss' little moments. dry, deadpan, humor - and he looks so, so good when he says it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You swoop in with the-" Peter B makes a swoosh sound, hand swiping across the air like a kid playing with toy planes. "And then I'll do a-"

Thud. He brings his hand down to the table solidly, with some force. It makes the table shudder and your head pops up slightly from under a workstation, hiding a smile. With their backs turned, they don't notice you're there.

You've got a pair of pliers in one hand, and a mess of wires with the other. You don't see the both of them that often, preferring to squirrel yourself away in the labs, but you've been stuck here with system updates. Whilst you've drawn the short end of the straw, yet again, it doesn't feel like it; basking in the warmth of the two even from the opposite end of the room.

Miguel gives him a look, eyebrow raised. Peter waits, expectantly. A beat passes.

" Oh. Are you… is that the whole plan?" Poking ever so slightly out of the tangle of wires, you catch his facial expression and it makes you giggle. Fuck. You clamp your hand over your mouth and retreat back into the depths.

Busying yourself with the work, you pretend not to hear them pad towards you. It doesn't last long, and you're met with Peter B's face: 5 o'clock shadow and a blinding smile.

"Oh shit! You're the…. uhuhh… that technician that I…" He clicks his fingers towards you, calling out to Miguel. Embarrassed, you stand up, expecting a scolding.

It doesn't come. Miguel says your name, and it surprises you.

"They're not usually on this floor, though. Lab A118, right?" He turns to you, and you nod slowly. How… how does he know that? You can count the amount of times you've spoken to Miguel one-on-one on a single hand, and yet he can remember which lab you work in? There were dozens of labs, triple the amount of technicians, and even if he did-

" Great . You can tell Miguel it's a brilliant plan," Peter beams.

"Uhhh…." Not knowing what to say, you fiddle with the pliers in hand.

"You don't... You don't have to answer that."

"...she does if she thinks it's good, Miguel." He deadpans, and turns to you. "He'll fire you if you don't answer."

"¿ Qué carajo, Peter ? " He practically hisses. Hurriedly, he reassures you with a hand on your arm. His tone is warm, softer. " Seriously, you don't have to answer that."

Peter huffs, leading you to take a seat on the counter. And you do, as he pleads his case.

The older man is animated, and the scene makes you laugh: Peter B in a robe and fuzzy slippers, telling a humble technician the intimate details of their mission. Miguel takes a seat next to you, thigh creeping closer to yours. You pretend not to notice, and focus on the man in front of you.

"Our target is this freaky little guy-"

"The Green Goblin." Miguel corrects

"Whatever. This freaky little guy from a medieval dimension. All hear ye, hear ye , and shit…. a freak with a bell on his hat and purple cape. Sounds simple enough, right?"

"...right." Miguel answers, exasperated already.

Peter makes the sound of a buzzer. " Wrong! His dimension is paper-based, meaning he's a slippery little shit otherwise. Doesn't adhere to our kind of physics," The man besides you prepares to interject, but is shut down by the wave of a hand.

"More or less, Miguel, I don't care for the science - this guy is literally two-dimensional. So you ," Woosh. He makes the gesture from earlier on. "And I'll," Smack. He brings his hands together with distinct flair.

Your boss still has his brows drawn up in confusion, but something clicks for you.

"Miguel….takes him from his blind spot," You copy the gesture, as they both watch. Miguel can see the cogs turning in your head, the little twitch of your lips and press of eyebrows. "...and you pin him down from above."

“Yes! Yes, that's exactly what I said!" He pumps his fist upwards, pulling you off the counter and into a bear hug. You're laughing, and you hear him from over your shoulder. "We stick him with a doohickey, and then he's jingling all the way back home. I'm a goddamn genius, aren't I?"

Miguel scoffs, amused. It's a somewhat good plan, but he's even more surprised at you: half-strangled in the other man's arms, and smiling wide.

When Peter finally releases you, with a sly middle finger to Miguel for good measure, he rushes off. He's…babbling on about how Jess is gonna love this , or something like that.

You're left with Miguel, still on the counter, head cocked. He's looking towards the door, you think, until you meet his eyes and jump. They are a deep scarlet, framed by wispy lashes. Your boss is pretty; so, so pretty . Perhaps not the most appropriate thought, but it's all you can think about as he talks.

"You speak Parker?" He says, and you laugh. It makes heat prickle in his chest.

" No way, sir. I… I think that's a first for me." You put your hands up, shaking your head; the remnants of a giggle bubbling up.

"Maybe you should be on strategy? I could… we could do with that kind of talent on the team." His face is steady, and unreadable. You swear you can see a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but it's hard to tell. He's rubbing at his neck, carding through the hair at his nape.

He seems… shy, for some reason.

"I'm flattered, sir, really. But I'm happy with what I do in research."

He hums, a strange expression on his face. He's on his feet now, getting a little closer to you. The pliers are in your hand, and he picks it up in his wide palms. Your hands are soft, he thinks.

The action makes you hold your breath, and all of a sudden you're looking at his lips.

" This," He's perceptive, and ignores the way your gaze makes him feel; the heat of your body so close to his. "Is a bit too big for what you're trying to do. It's a bit of a struggle, right?"

You nod, not trusting your voice to stay steady.

He flashes a little smile and leads you back to the workstation. "The number 4, please."

You hand him the smaller attachment, shaking yourself out of a daze. Your fingers brush, but you force yourself to concentrate on what he does under the hood , so to speak.

"A little pressure, right…" You put your hand on the spot, and he moves it with his own, ever so slightly. "... here. Pull, please."

You give a solid tug, and he pushes the tool into a junction at the wires. It comes apart much easier than before.

"You felt it?" He says it lowly; and it makes you blink twice. " That's when you pull. When you feel that tension."

He nods, and you stutter a timid thank you. "T-Thanks, sir. You didn't have to, though."

"I wanted to. I basically built all of this, I know it like the back of my hand. So it's no trouble." From anybody else, it would sound like a brag, but from Miguel it's nothing but the truth. You're in awe of him. sometimes: everything he's built, everything he's achieved.

"So it's your fault none of these wires are colour-coded properly?" You say with a burst of confidence. "Why are the wires for electrics brown? And the hydro-pumps are… purple? Not blue, or–"

It peters off when you see his expression, gaunt and serious.

" Shit. Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to cross a line, or anything."

"Sure, I built it," He erupts into a smile, and it makes him laugh. God, you've made Miguel laugh . "But I never said I was good at it."

It puts you at ease, and you're brave enough to give him a little smile in return. And he likes it: your eyes light up, and worry lines relax.

"And you don't need to call me sir. It's Miguel." As if introducing himself for the first time, he stretches out a hand. You take it, and say your name.

"I know." He says it gently, and your heart skips a beat. "You need some help with the rest?"

Realistically, it's a one-person job; something you can do even quicker now he's shown you the right technique. But he's already so close, and you're hung up on the way he speaks to you: steady, patient, with the prettiest, plump lips you've had the pleasure of looking at. It's not helping you get over your inappropriate crush; and will absolutely feed into your delusion; but he offered , ever so sweet.

"Yeah, Miguel." You take the tool from him and crane your head to the worktop's belly. "I think I do."

Miguel taglist (1): @d1lf-loverrr, @afro-hispwriter @ilovemiguelohara @weedxgirlx420 @ladydovahkiin180 @aaliyuh3 @sweetanimebakery @vvitcxen @rosecoloredlenses708 @daikondal @magikmina @impettywhenyouare @alonelygirlsuicidenote @plushyplants @javi0ca @rheeves @starrfruit @nikirikii @marsbars09 @foxglove-grove @mimooyi @crosshairclown @dead-by-light @kynamitedessert @naarra @wanderlustingcastaway @sagejin @cookielovesbook-akie @tangerineloverrr @gobblegluckgluckgod @wolfiepirate @jxxey3 @ebrysteria @elliemm @manchuria @youngghostpeachslime @weasleybuns

@ilovemuppets @vauriz @bonbyon @aimno256 @ancientbeing10 @tvije @venus1224idkpleaze @neteyamsbulletwound @chickenjefferson-blog @maki-z @jasjasthings @aiyaaayei @hyp-oh-critical @tea-earl-grey-thot @sunset-euphoria @moonsio @akiras-key@szaplsdropthealbum@levanneisdumb @naiya-patel17 @Serostapesweat @strawberrymiguel @yumeeesss @errorundyne-exe @spear-bitch @redsoleily @marsissoswag @slezhara @ye4gerzz @adlct515 @nanam1 @indigocookie @cincocosas-blog @starguiders @path0logicalpeoplepleaser@funkyfishy@whoreloll@eugeab@tarjapearce@maddielikesmoths@egotaestical

#fluff #miguel o hara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #kat_writes😼#miguel x reader #atsv x reader #atsv

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luvfy0dor · 3 months

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Hiii can I request teen reader who didn’t know their dad (fyodor) was a terrorist so now they avoid him like the plague with no explanation

“Beyond Terror in the Nightfall ♡” Fyodor Dostoevsky w/ Child!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; mentions of blood, murder, and terrorism, loosely proofread

Description; Fyodor decides you're old enough to learn about his job, and your reaction certainly isn't ideal

A/n; There's explanation here because I forgor that you said you wanted none so I'm so sorry 😭 I hope it's still good, I got really sad writing this for whatever reason. Also, f/n is friends name

• Fyodor would go through extreme lengths to keep his occupation to himself and out of your knowledge, so if you're finding out you're gonna find out because he wants you too.

• I think the most likely way is spotting blood on his usually pristine white outfit and being prompted to further investigate.

ೃ⁀➷

The only thing your father would ever tell you about his job was that he worked with tech and computers, which you didn't doubt because of his home-office space that he spent a solid amount of time in. It never explained the long trips away, though. It made you sad to see your father always away, but he did call you every night to remind you that he loves you no matter how far away he is, and it would turn your frown momentarily upside down.

One evening, you ate dinner at the dining table with your dad. Your conversation revolved around the usual things, school, upcoming events, your interests, etc. Fyodor had his usual soft and small smile on his face while listening to you talk. His head rested on his hands while his raven colored bangs fell in his face. Upon concluding the dinner, Fyodor took your dishes and brought them to the sink. "Ah, malyshka, could you start my laundry for me?" He calls over his shoulder. "Yeah, I'll do it right now." You respond, heading to his room to grab his laundry basket, immediately spotting his bloodied and previously completely white pants. You immediately felt worried for your father, taking the pants and bringing them back upstairs. "Papa, are you alright? What happened to your pants? Should I bleach them?" You asked with concern.

Fyodor sighed and paused his task of doing the dishes, turning to you after turning off the sink. "You should bleach them, but do not worry, it's not my blood." He says, his eyes flickering from the pants to your face. Your eyebrows furrowed and you just stared at the pants for a minute before dropping them. Fyodor sighed and watched the pants fall to the ground. "Sweetheart, you're only going to get them dirtier." He said with a chuckle, trying to lighten your mood a little bit. "Who's blood is it then?" You questioned him, your eyes wide with inquiry. He exhales and puts a hand on your shoulder. "Y/n, it's the blood of a man I've killed. You're old enough to know about my real occupation now, and I'd rather not leave you in the dark. You cannot tell anyone about this." He says, looking at you with a serious face. You felt as though you were in shock, trying to tear yourself out of your dissociation that had occured the moment you heard his words. You were successful enough to utter "No, Papa, that's not a funny joke."

You knew just as well as the next person that he wasn't joking, he was far too serious to joke with you about such a horrible thing. The disbelief made it seem that way- as a child he always taught you that violence was never the answer, so why was he partaking in it for a living? He was so smart, he could have gotten a job in ANY field he desired yet he chose to go against his own words that were spoken to his child. You could feel tears of frustration forming in your eyes and your fists balling up. "It's not a joke. Please don't cry, sweetheart." He tried to comfort you by pulling you into a hug, only to be pushed away by you. His mouth hung agape while you stormed off to your bedroom. In any other situation, he would have scolded you for pushing him away, but he understood your sudden aggression in the moment. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He proceeded to do the dishes after being snapped out of his moment by the sound of your door slamming behind your heavy and angry footsteps.

He reflected for a moment and though that maybe he shouldn't have told you at all, but then he thought about how much worse it would be to hear about his job from someone else. He knew you would feel betrayed, but your trust would be more likely to be fixed the sooner he told you. He was your father, after all.

♡

Fyodor let you sleep with your feelings for the night, walking to your bedroom door next morning. He gently knocked on the hard wood surface only to be met with silence from your side. "Y/n? It's time to wake up, you have to go to school." He spoke. When met with silence once again, he opened the door slowly. He was met with your body facing away from him. His eyebrows furrowed and he walked to the bed, gently shaking your shoulder. Your hand abruptly shoved his off of you before retracting back to it's spot curled up against your chest. "Go away. I'll get up as soon as you leave." His eyes widened as he backed up a step.

"Very well, but dont speak so harshly to me next time." He says, his annoyance and disappointment clear in his voice. You could hear his footsteps walking away, followed by the gentle click of the door. You took a deep, shaky breath. Slowly but surely, you rose from your safe haven under the blankets. The cool air immediately collided with your skin and made you shiver, but you held up and didn't retreat back beneath the covers. You tried to suppress the memories of your father's confession, not wanting to believe it as you stood up and picked out an outfit for the day. You fulfilled your morning routine and walked out to the kitchen, headphones in your ears as an attempt to discourage Fyodor from talking to you. He only frowned when he looked at you, gently placing a hand on your shoulder to get your attention.

"Y/n, do you have any extra curriculars after school today?" He asked you. You shook your head and scavenged through the cabinets for something to eat. "My friends mom will bring me home." Fyodors eyebrows knitted together as he leaned against the counter. "Why would she do that? I can get you like I always do, that way you can tell me about your day." He says, kind of upset that you're going out of your way to be as far from him as possible. You gave a short and simple yet insufficient answer. "Because."

"Because, what?" He asked, crossing his arms. "Because I don't want to go for a car ride with a murderer! She would have brought me to school too, but she was busy!" You shout, angrily walking out of the kitchen and the house, sitting in the car in the back seat instead of your usual spot in the passenger seat. It didn't take long for Fyodor to follow, locking the door behind him while you waited in the car, scrolling through your phone. He settled into the driver's seat and looked at you in the mirror, huffing and buckling his seatbelt. "You get upset with me for my work, but you don't seem too upset about having that phone, and my job pays for that, Malyshka." He says bluntly. You take a moment to breathe instead of yelling at your father because you know that would only make it worse. "Any other job could pay for it just the same. Why do you kill people? What are you, an assassin?" You inquire while making eye contact with him from the back seat. "I'm a terrorist." He says with a sigh.

"Even worse then." You turn the volume on your phone up and listen to music to drown his voice out. You had to bite back your tears of betrayal and disappointment, small whimpers escaping from your throat every now and again. Fyodor felt a bit remorseful upon hearing that. He never had felt any sort of guilt when he killed and injured, but because you were his child, hurting your feelings was enough to make him feel penitence. He didn't show it in his face, though. He wore the same flat and neutral expression he always had.

The rest of the ride was inordinately quiet. He let you out of the car and wished you a good day at school and told you he loved you, but you didn't care to reply. You didn't turn around to watch his car drive off either. Walking into the school, you met your friend and decided to keep silent about the situation. You didn't want to be known as the kid with the terrorist dad, and you REALLY didn't want him to be persecuted. You just sucked it up and went on with your day. A few periods before dismissal, you asked your friend to sleep over instead of being brought home. Their mom agreed because it was a Friday, but said you would have to return home early in the morning because they had stuff to do. You didn't mind and went along with it, hopping into the backseat of the car with your friend.

"How was school for the two of you? Good?" Their mom asked while pulling out of the parking lot. "It was good, I turned in some late work." F/n says. "Good. And how about you, y/n?" She asks with a welcoming smile. "It was good."

The car ride back was mostly just you and your friend talking to eachother with the occasional comment from their mother. They lived pretty close to the school, only two miles away. The older woman pulled into the driveway and your friend immediately got out of the car, urging you to do the same and follow them up to their room. You did with some shared laughter and playful banter, plopping on their bed when you make it up the staircase and through the door frame. Your school bag with your phone in it gets tossed somewhere while the two of you decide on a movie to watch. Unbeknownst to you, your phone was ringing with calls from your father and hour into the movie. He was also texting you, the notifications making your screen glow in the confines of your bookbag. The device didn't cross your mind until the end of the movie, fishing it out of the bag. When you turned it on, you had a solid 10 messages from your father and five missed calls. Suddenly, your friend's mom's footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs. She gently opened the door and locked eyes with you.

"Did you seriously not tell your father that you were sleeping over? He's worried sick over you!" She softly says. "He's going to come get you right now, so gather your stuff and come wait down stairs." She says, waving you along with her. You could almost feel your heart in your throat with anxiety of facing him again. You reluctantly gathered your stuff and bid your friend goodbye and gave a brief explanation on the situation. You only let on that you were in an argument with your papa but never mentioned why. They frowned and walked downstairs with you, their shoulders slumped and spirits seemingly broken. "I still don't get why you wouldn't just ask him first." F/n said exasperatedly. "Don't worry about it, we'll have a sleepover at some point. I'm sorry." You say, just as upset as your friend. Only a few more words are exchanged before you see your father's car in the driveway. You sighed and made your way outside, waving to your friends family before walking to the driveway. You looked only at your feet, refusing to make eye contact with Fyodor through the windshield.

You opened the door to the back seat and tossed your stuff in, going to sit down before Fyodor stopped you. "Sit in the passenger seat, I think we should talk about this." He says calmly yet sternly. You didn't have the energy to argue back, so you did as told. You begrudgingly sat yourself in the passengers seat and looked at your hands in your lap instead of him. It was quiet until he pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. "I'm aware of your disapproval of my job, but you cannot ignore my phone calls and messages when I don't know where you are. If I hadn't called f/n's mother, God knows when you would have gotten back to me." He strictly tells you, subtly distressed over your sudden rebellion. You silently collected your thoughts and then opened your mouth. "It's more excusable than killing people, papa." Your voice was soft and quiet. "Malyshka, I do it for the greater good of the world, you don't understand because you are just a teenager. You do not get to criticize my job until you've lived in the real world instead of in the comfort of your adolescence." He says, his voice rising a bit.

"Yeah, but-" you started, but he cut you off. "No, you need to put an end to this behavior right now. My job does not need to align with your personal morals." You felt your throat tighten, keeping more words from escaping your mouth. You say silently for the rest of the ride, swiftly exiting the car when he parked it in front of the house. He followed after a moment, unlocking the door for you and closing it behind him. "I understand that you're upset, but please do not avoid me like that, y/n." He pleads with you. If you looked closely, you could almost see it in his face. You sighed and relaxed your shoulders. "I'm sorry, Papa. I'm still mad at you, but I'm sorry for what I did today. That was a little uncalled for." You admitted. A small smile appeared on his face and he pulled you into a loose hug. "I love you, papa, just dont make me wash your bloody clothes ever." You demand. He hums and kisses your head affectionately. "Alright, I think that's fair." He agrees. He released you from his hold and started towards the kitchen. "I'm going to make dinner, is there anything specific you want? If we have the ingredients I'll make it for you." You contemplated your options for a moment before settling for a meal that you used to make with him when you were little. "Can we make beef stroganoff?" He hummed, content with your choice. "Yes, start getting the stuff out." Your frown finally left your face and you also entered the kitchen, happier to help your dad make dinner than to avoid him.

A/n; Hey y'all this got kinda long but ykw it's okay. I think I made the reader get over it a little too quickly, but for the purpose of happy ending it's also okay.

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sagau-my-beloved · 2 years

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Ah this is weirdly specific and ended up really long (sorry about that 😭) but i had a thought

In the sagau venti coming to the real world and living with us, how would he react if at first reader was really affectionate and excited to see him because they like him a lot and want to show him all the stuff in our world but then they slowly get upset and slightly depressed when they realize (or think) Venti's probably only interested in them because they are this so called creator of teyvat? They try to hide that something is wrong but then open up about their feelings when Venti questions them too much?

The Struggle Of Living Up To An Expectation

Finally an angst request >:), also, don't be sorry I absolutely adore descriptive requests like this, also decided to do this in drabble format because hurt/comfort just hits harder that way

Warnings: general Sagau, angst, hurt/comfort with emphasis on the comfort, I guess a small bit of codependency, some self deprecation

You were ecstatic. Shocked, but ecstatic. Maybe questioning your own sanity a bit, but ecstatic.

Venti, the character you loved the most, the character you felt happiest around, the character you constantly wished for more content of, was right in front of you.

It took a second for it to fully register.

You stood there in shock, mouth agape at the green cladded figure in front of you, a nervous smile forming at your deafening silence.

"Your grace? Are you that surprised to see me?" It was spoken both as a joke and a genuine question, you had yet to give any form of reaction other than just staring intently in complete awe, it was really starting to worry him.

"You're Venti, you're in front of me—"

"I am indeed both of those things your grace, what a keen eye you have~" He shifted his weight nervously, desperately wishing for you to give him some sort of positive or negative sign.

That sign did in fact come, rather suddenly at that, in the form of you pulling him into a tight hug and tearing up slightly.

He was in heaven, this was it, the way he wanted to go out.

He felt your arms around him, and it only took a second for him to compensate with his own.

It was better than any reaction he had ever expected, the complete onset of happiness he got from something as simple as a hug really was astounding.

"Your grace, I'm so happy you recognize me! I was so worried you would be afraid of seeing me here."

You immediately push him back, arms on his shoulders as you gave him a wide smile, completely filled with enthusiasm.

"How could I ever be afraid of you? I can't believe this is happening, you have no idea how long I've admired you!" your eyes shined as you spoke, he couldn't help but look at you in complete awe.

You? Admired him???

Ok, he had to be dead, something went wrong with the portal and now he's in the afterlife, in a place which his creator loved him even a fraction of the amount he loved you.

Venti laughed, a genuine smile dawning on his features as he immediately pulled you into another hug.

That all happened about a month ago, Venti explained that you were his God, a being above even the Archons. This knowledge struck a certain chord that you couldn't quite place at the time and decided to brush off.

Of course you didn't believe him then, it was hard to say you really believed him even now, but he was always so genuine about it, he believed it as much as he believed in his own existence.

Venti had wanted you to go back to Teyvat with him, and you really did want to, but as of right now it was completely out of the question. Running away from your current life wasn't an option, you would worry too many people.

He was a bit reluctant to accept your answer, instead postponing the inevitable day that you would return with him.

You offered him your house freely, as long as he wanted to stay you would be happy to host.

The time spent with him was never unpleasant, you did have to occasionally remind yourself that he was real, he was there next to you.

His enthusiasm towards you only help enhance your own enthusiasm, it was almost as if your energies bounced off of each other.

You loved explaining things about how your world worked too, there was no feeling in the world that could match watching his expression of wonder, the way his eyes sparkled.

But the constant use of titles did start to wear on you, it was almost as if he could never directly address you without using some sort of formal name. It didn't help that every time he did you felt a sense of uneasiness, one that took quite a while to place exactly why you were feeling it.

It dawned on you one day when you were lying in your bed with him. He was half asleep and rested his head on your lap, occasionally choosing to just open his eyes and stare at you in wonder, as he had been frequently doing ever since he arrived.

You took the opportunity to freely play with his hair, you liked how soft it was.

"You're so amazing you know, so divine. I love you more than the world itself."

You couldn't tell if it was just the delirium from his sleepy state that caused him to speak like that, but it didn't really matter, that was when you realized what was truly wrong.

He thought of you as something that you weren't, he loved you for something that you never did.

That event spiralled, it stayed lurking in the back of your mind, brought to the foreground every time he said any sort of praise in your direction. Which was rather often.

He loved you because he thought you a God, the God above all other Gods, the creator, when you were really just a normal human.

Would he have ever loved you at all if he knew that? Did this count as a form of leading him on? Would he no longer like you when he finally figured it out for himself...

Thoughts like that kept you up at night, tossing and turning before simply getting up and choosing to sleep on the couch, away from that suffocating room, away from this role you felt had been forced on you.

Venti picked up on your misery, he could tell something was off before you even realized it yourself.

He tried to help without directly asking what the problem was, tried to be more affectionate than usual, shower you in more praise, completely oblivious that this was only worsening the problem.

You became more withdrawn, more dismissive, less likely to believe anything he said that even remotely resembled something positive towards you.

Venti finally had enough when you managed to evade him for an entire day, it was heartbreaking to watch, he blamed himself for it completely. It must have been something he did wrong and he couldn't stand being in the dark any longer.

You were sitting on the couch as he stood in front of you, you tried very hard to look anywhere but him as he stared directly at you.

"My love... Why have you been avoiding me?" his voice was soft, but it lacked the usual free spirited and childish demeanor it always held, he sounded way more serious.

"Have I been avoiding you?" You didn't want to lie to him, of course you had been avoiding him, but you didn't want to admit it, to acknowledge it in any way.

"Please, don't brush this off."

It was uncharacteristic to see him acting like this, it worried you, made you feel worse about how you had been acting.

"It's really not anything you need to be concerned about, just personal stuff."

He almost scoffed at that, "You're hurting, something has been troubling you, it's killing me to watch."

You wanted to respond with a snide remark, something stupid and cliche like 'then stop watching', but that wasn't fair to him, he hadn't knowingly done anything wrong.

You were cracking under his stare too, feeling the intensity of it without even looking at him.

Was he angry with you?

It was all too much, this confrontation, all the thoughts you had been harboring for the past few weeks which only seemed to grow with each passing day.

You were overwhelmed, this was overwhelming, and you couldn't help it when tears started pricking at the corners of your eyes, you couldn't stop them from flowing down your face as you stifled a sob.

Venti's face contorted into a panic, panic and concern, all traces of the serious expression gone.

"Hey, my love, please, please tell me what's wrong."

He chose to sit next to you on the couch, trying to take your hand in his own.

The action only caused you to cry harder, trying your best to turn your body away from him so he wouldn't see you in such a pathetic state.

His eyebrows furrowed at that and he quickly moved his hands to the back of your head and your shoulder, pulling you into him.

You didn't resist, instead taking the opportunity to bury your face in his shirt as you continued to cry.

You wanted so badly to stop, to just compose yourself, there was no way you could live up to his expectations of a God in this state. But the harder you tried, the more repressed thoughts kept flooding your head.

He continued to just hold you, occasionally brushing his hands through your hair, his expression not losing any of the concern it previously held.

You finally started to calm down slightly, your sobs reduced to only sniffles.

"Do you feel any better my love? I really don't want to push you, but keeping this inside you is obviously doing nothing but harm."

You let out a soft nod after you pulled away, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"I... I'm not a God."

That's all this was about?

He waited for you to continue before making any remarks.

"You think I'm a God, and you love me because you think I'm a God, but I'm not a God, I'm just human."

He almost felt his heart break, did you really think he wouldn't simply adore you if you weren't his creator?

He waited a minute longer, allowing you the opportunity to expand upon what you said, it was only after you continued looking away from him that he decided to speak.

"I fully believe that you are the creator, I came here because of that."

You could feel your heart sink at his words, practically on the verge of tears again.

"But," he continued, "If I was proven wrong right this very second, absolutely nothing would change."

Venti moved his hand to your face, cupping it, trying to provide some sense of comfort through touch.

"I love you so much, I adore the person you are. I don't think I could live without you at this point, I would still want you to come with me, or to allow me to stay here with you."

You glanced at him for a second, seeing his green eyes filled with overflowing amounts of sincerity, a soft smile adorned his features.

"I feel almost as if I'm tricking you somehow, I can't stand the idea of disappointing you when you find out I'm not anything special." Honesty leaked from your words, it was a harsh truth that you thoroughly believe would come to pass.

Venti's face completely fell at that.

"Not special? Everything in the world is special, and you are one of the most special things in the world. You could never disappoint me by being yourself, please believe that."

He wanted to tell you that he loved you a million times over, sing it from the rooftops, repeat it over and over until you were forced to believe him.

"I came here for the creator of Teyvat, and found something so much better, you are better than I could have ever imagined."

You were starting to feel a bit flustered at his word, choosing to hide it by hugging him close again and covering your face. He gladly accepted it, resting his head on top of yours, he loved the way you felt against him, how much your bodies seemed to fit together perfectly.

It didn't matter if you were the creator or otherwise, he was made just for you, and you were never going to be able to get rid of him.

"I'm sorry for not saying anything..."

He didn't feel as though he could melt at your words any more than he already had, but here he was, practically a puddle at how vulnerable you sounded.

Whether you liked it or not, he was now eternally bound to you, nothing else could even come close to changing that.

He would be happy to remind you as many times as you needed.

#genshin impact #sagau #yandere genshin x reader #genshin x reader #genshin venti #yandere genshin au #venti x reader #hurt/comfort #genshin angst

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cactikiki · 5 months

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YOU ASKED FOR THE ASK AND I AM HERE TO PROVIDE THE ASKING 👋

I am assuming that you meant like actual questions when you said specifics but if I saw it wrong I'm sorry😭

But I was thinking like, how did the dialogue between Greg and Ellis go when Greg said he wanted to change the story? Was there any reluctance from Ellis at all or was he totally chill with it? It's hard to really tell because it's stated that theyve been friends since they were younger, but then again Ellis seems a bit careless in some ways, so maybe he was just going along with everything because he wasn't interested in the story in the first place?

And I've been wondering since Greg and Ellis seemed to be around each other alot, if the topic of GGY ever actually came up in their conversations, or if the topic of Greg being GGY came up either. It would add a whole new layer of things if Ellis did know, and it could be why he didn't try to stop Greg from changing the story. (Being forced into submission under the threat of him or his family being harmed in some way, it would make more sense than him just being entirely thoughtless and choosing to let Greg change it all despite how hard Tony worked on it.)

I apologize if this is alot, I just really like talking abt this kind of stuff and the whole GGY thing in general, there is so much missed plot potential 😭😭

I AM HERE TO PROVIDE THE ANSWERING LIKE 2 DAYS LATER

Okay so.

This is gonna turn into a shitty essay so more below the cut

Tony doesn't talk to his friends. Communication is key in any relationship, and he doesn't seem to understand or utilise that. He doesn't tell Ellis or Greg how he feels about things, about his plans, and so on; and it leads to him always doing things on his own now.

I think the GGY trio has a flawed friendship.

Tony and Ellis are the root of it since were friends first-- since childhood. They should be close and know the most about each other; Greg joined the trio last and remains mysterious. It's probably canon that Tony and Ellis never even met the real Gregory, the one in SB and parts of RUIN. Therefore it's not really Gregory to blame for anything Greg does, but the Mimic/glitchtrap/Afton, whoever you perceive it to be

And so, I won't count Gregory entirely because he was being mind controlled and all that. 'Greg' is causing many of the issues between them, it seems, but there's also this oneeee big problem.

Communication.

It's like he expects them to read his mind, to just know what's going on in his head.

I think Ellis and Greg really did want to help, but Tony just... Went off on his own, doing his own thing out of impatience. He did the entire thing without them.

It is more likely it's the former, though, and Greg would've given Ellis the idea. He needed a coverup, and Tony's little story was too close to the truth; what if others got suspicious?

The thing is with this... Are they really assuming? Ellis just knows Tony always starts without them. He never talks to them about ideas, he just goes off and does it alone. If Ellis (and ig Greg) feel like they can't have input, why would they interfere? And maybe that's why Tony feels like they assume he'll do it all, on purpose.

I wonder though if that's actually what's going on...

I think changing the story was maybe Ellis and Greg's way of getting him back (and I've heard some mutuals share this thought), either upon realising Tony has written it all himself, or they'd planned it when they noticed Tony already going off on his own for the millionth time.

So Greg would've spoken to Ellis, maybe brought up his insecurities. I don't know if Ellis is worried about Tony moving on, given how much closer he is with Greg now than him-- that's just a headcanon I have. But if it were canon, 'Greg' would 100% use that to manipulate Ellis into helping him write a new story as payback. I think he'd hesitate, but in the end be convinced.

And it is hard to manipulate him like that. "Change the story your friend worked so hard on because if you don't, he'll hate you." I think it'd be hard to convince him at all. How does that make sense? But Greg is persistent and Ellis is scared of losing his best friend

Ellis, of course, doesn't communicate either. None of them do. And I think it's definitely 'Greg' making the friendship between the two worse, stirring the pot instead of helping like the real Gregory would.

But honestly... I don't think they got to know the real Gregory before one of them died and the other saw missing posters of his only two friends all over town a few days later.

They're such a tragic friendship but it's interesting to think about... I love talking about relationships between characters especially tragic ones auughhh. This is why whatever happened exists specifically

I hopeeeeee. Everything here makes sense. I'm not always good at writing my thoughts unless I have someone else to bounce off of in a conversation, because that makes me think more about specific things and gives me ideas etc

But I tried!! So enjoy that abjshdhebjd

#asks #soulstice-0610 #ggy trio #ggy #bell boots #rab in boots

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rollforjackass · 9 months

Text

okay so i reread the good omens script book trying to look up a quote i remembered and i kept writing down the things that i absolutely loved about it, so here's just a list of all the quotes and moments that rewired my brain chemistry

aziraphale sasses the hell out of crowley about his antichrist birth organization skills

aziraphale saying “oh sugar” instead of oh shit...

first appearance of everyday by buddy holly, we all know how that turned out

aziraphale doesn’t know how an ansaphone works. this was in the book too, but it’s still funny, especially considering how in radio omens he at least knows about caller id

aziraphale brought shortbread for the drive to the convent. did he think it was a date? please say yes

crowley asked aziraphale if heaven wouldn’t give him (crowley) asylum and aziraphale was going to ask him the same about hell

aziraphale says “what the hell” after pointedly not swearing earlier. hypocrite ass

aziraphale is fine with killing the antichrist himself but gets upset about the humans killing each other at tadfield manor....more tasty hypocrisy. he thinks he can only ever do the Right Thing but he knows it's Wrong when anyone else does it

“aziraphale is rather enjoying having the upper hand in the ideas department for once”

crowley says “dude. chill.”

“for a moment his noble better nature rejects the idea out of hand. THEN HE FALLS...”

“aziraphale is softening. they haven’t spoken in a hundred years: he’s realizing they are still friends.” gets me every time i look at it

why was shadwell in prison?? america explain

“i work in soho, i hear things” patron saint of soho confirmed

i still think that the neon halo blinking on and off above aziraphale’s head is the HARDEST that neil gaiman has ever gone and that we deserved to see it in the final cut

"michael: when your cause is just you do not hesitate to smite the foe, aziraphale." i'm thinking thoughts about the s2 finale under this lens; when your cause is just (saving the love of your life) you do not hesitate to suffer for pursuing it

“crowley looks back. he looks at aziraphale. above them, a beautiful starry sky. and crowley softens.” jesus janthony christ.

“aziraphale is looking for someone. he spies a human statue dressed as an angel, with wings. it’s not him.” GOD

gabriel about aziraphale: “i’m disappointed in him. not thinking like an angel.”

crowley “looks up, and talks to god, in the classical fashion.” see i really want a script book for s2 because i want to see aziraphale's expressions of faith plucked out a little bit more

crowley in the cinema: “he’s waiting for the end of the world. out of time. out of hope.”

the fact that crowley saw aziraphale walking down the street and left dagon on read is priceless

aziraphale looks hurt after crowley says he won’t even think about him

the music for the gavotte scene was recommended to be “i am a courtier grave and serious” from gilbert and sullivan’s the gondoliers which is PERFECT

“aziraphale is heading down the street, looking harried and as if he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. which he is.”

sandalphon says “you know how we treat traitors in wartime?” to aziraphale and there was meant to be blood on aziraphale’s lips after sandalphon punches him. death to sandalphon

“why would you do this? we’re the good guys.”

aziraphale (resolutely not swearing): you. you B…AD angels.

“seducing women to do your evil will!” “i think perhaps you’ve got the wrong shop.” still the campiest line delivery i've ever seen

we don't need to speculate about crowley being in tears in the burning bookshop because according to the script he is canonically right on the verge of it

“right. i’m done. i’ve had it. i don’t care about any bloody angels or humans or anyone. i hate you all. somebody killed my best friend, and i don’t even care who did it. bastards, all of you.” 😭

when aziraphale is discorporated, his heavenly appearance is all his normal clothes but gleaming white

aziraphale: i have no intention of fighting in any war. “all angels on the floor turn and look at the angel who has said the unsayable.”

aziraphale can’t actually see crowley in the bar scene…he has no idea how wrecked his best friend is

aziraphale doesn’t take sugar with his tea. bastard

aziraphale crosses his fingers under the table when answering shadwell’s nipple question

aziraphale is wearing madame tracy’s pink motorbike helmet in the mirror of her scooter

they describe crowley’s suit in the burning bentley as “interestingly ripped”...........we were robbed of a crowley boob window moment and i'll never forget

aziraphale introduces crowley to madame tracy as “he’s…well, we’re sort of business associates.” you know, like a liar

aziraphale was fully about to murder adam. i don’t think i can stress this enough

aziraphale pokes himself to make sure he’s solid once he’s separated from madame tracy

aziraphale isn’t threatening crowley with the sword, “just making his point that he can do dangerous out-of-character things if he needs to.”

crowley: what if the almighty planned it this way all along? from the very beginning aziraphale: takes a drink from the bottle of wine

aziraphale looks like he’s going to cry when crowley reminds him that the bookshop burnt down 😭

aziraphale-as-crowley looks depressed 😭 he still thinks his bookshop is gone

the angels kidnapping crowley-as-aziraphale zip-tied his hands those dickheads

aziraphale-as-crowley: my friend! they’re kidnapping my friend!

the hit hastur gives aziraphale-as-crowley would have killed a human 0/10 wahoos

“the van with [crowley-as-]aziraphale in it drives away, and [aziraphale-as-]crowley tries to crawl after it.” HEY NEIL I JUST WANT TO TALK

crowley-as-aziraphale says “what fun. i love a barbecue.”

i am literally ENRAGED that sandalphon was like “hell yeah you can hit aziraphale” to the minor demon who brought the hellfire i WILL throw hands

uriel calls it a barbecue too those fuckers

in the script uriel and sandalphon have their flaming swords drawn, so it wasn't going to be as insidious as expecting aziraphale to walk into the flame of his own volition. but they didn’t end up including it in the show, so it is that insidious after all

aziraphale-as-crowley keeping his socks on for the bath was such a choice

“he doesn’t actually have a newspaper and a cigar, but damn, he’s enjoying himself in his bath”

i've seen so little talk about how absolutely ice cold aziraphale is in the bath scene with the whole “so you’re probably thinking, ‘if he can do this, i wonder what else he can do’? and very, very soon, you’re all going to get the chance to find out.” BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS TERRIFYING

aziraphale-as-crowley: michael. duude.

crowley and aziraphale both get out of their own elevators and meet up to walk out together which is poetic cinema

PIGBOG AND THE OTHER MOTORCYCLE IDIOTS THAT HUNG OUT WITH DEATH WERE GOING TO BE INCLUDED i miss them

#suffice it to say i've been on a deep dive #part of the reason i love the book so much is just all the little details that a tv show just can't spare the time for #and the script has so many lovely little tidbits that make me rewatch episodes hunting for a scrap of their existence #like i was Looking for that shortbread man i remember that vividly #i'll probably look again later too #ugh ugh ugh what a time to be alive was season 1 #and if there's a script book for s2 you bet your ass i'll be deep diving again #good omens #oxly hollers

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we-love-morioh-cho · 2 months

Text

Chapter 58 - Kaato's Return

I try to avoid long, speculating posts for my Jojolion liveblogging BUT Chapter 58 has my mind racing with ideas and I'm so excited for the Higashikata family drama that I need to get this out of my system. This single chapter has more character intrigue to me than other entire parts of Jojo, that's how much I love this stuff 😭

This post is really, really long and messy and probably more headcanon than actual analysis and will not be very polished. It'll likely age poorly and be very wrong but this is legit some of the most enjoyment and interest this franchise has ever given me. To avoid spamming the tags, I'm shoving a lot of ideas into this single post so I apologize in advance.

Kaato

One thing I've had spoiled about Kaato is that she isn't the main villain but that everyone wanted her to be. So I'm already really excited for her character but I'm not sure what to expect. Given how Jojo is written, I'm expecting there to be more to the child murder. Her intro referenced Jolyne a lot, soooo I'm thinking she was pressured by someone / set-up.

Maybe I'm just falling for her scheme like I did with Damo, but her grief and pain here feels genuine to me. If there is more to the murder, then this is a tragic situation for Kaato - she was separated from her children and has been iced out of her own family. There must be a reason she could never tell them the truth too, maybe she's still in danger?

This series tends to neglect mothers in the narrative so I'm enjoying their focus in Jojolion, plus there's some sort of parallel with Holy being established. I'm trying really hard not to stan her before knowing the full story in case it's absolutely fucked up but god is she iconique. I'll talk about her in passing in other character's sections, there's already A LOT to say and already she is a very high tier character to me.

Josuke and Kei

Poor Josuke man.....I was not expecting the hospital scene and it really got to me 💔 I'm so glad Jojo has been exploring it's protags' internal lives more in later parts, I would say since Jolyne it's felt more introspective and emotional. I'm glad poor Josuke is getting to have his grief explored and shown, it makes the storytelling so much more impactful to me at least. I must ask why Kei wasn't at the hospital, surely she must know of Holy's condition and should be involved too. Have her and Josuke even really spoken since early Jojolion? I need more of Kei as Holy's condition becomes more and more important.

What on Earth does Josuke feel seeing Kaato show up? We don't get an answer in this chapter BUT I am hoping him and Kaato will interact in the future and this will be brought up. There's just a lot of directions to go with this dynamic and I hope we get it explored. He was pretty passive during Kaato's scene, I kept hoping she would point him out and question his presence but fair enough. Also, it was interesting how him and Kei were the two outsiders during this scene - as their mother is dying, the mother of the Higashikata family appears and is clearly involved with Jobin who is also vying for the miracle cure that they need too. Crazy potential here with these characters.

Norisuke

Not to be a Kaato apologist already but I have some things to say about this man. I'm assuming that, if there is a deeper secret to the murder, he's unaware of it, but I really have to ask why Kaato wouldn't tell him?

I get that telling your two youngest kids that their mother was in jail for killing a child would be rough but GODDDDD he couldn't even tell them when they got older or at least keep his story straight? Also, evidently Jobin and Hato never told their siblings about their mother - how did that conversation go? Norisuke had to be the one to enforce that rule and I'm sure it was not an easy process.

Did Norisuke ever talk to his eldest children about their mother leaving? Because with how Hato phrases it, it seems like he brushed it all under the rug. And while it's obviously sad the two young ones never knew about her, imagine what the two eldest kids felt having known her then watching her be dragged away????? He never even showed the little ones a photo of her, that is insane and just next level to me. Was Kaato's crime not widely discussed in the town? How did neither Joshu or Daiya ever hear about it somehow?

This section originally spiraled into a HUGE theory / headcanon / speculation discussion on how the Kaato situation might've led to a divide in how the eldest siblings and youngest siblings were raised, but I'm gonna wait on that thought until I know more and give it it's own post in the future sometime.

Jobin

Jobin was a pure menace this chapter and I fucking loved it. He really let his convicted-murderer mother into his family's house, didn't inform anyone of her release, and shows up as soon as she leaves to casually drop that he orchestrated this whole thing. And then he rocked up like this -

I'm guessing he watched / listened to the whole ordeal from afar and just chose to watch the chaos? I have a lot of thoughts and theories about how Jobin views his younger siblings and this chapter doesn't help lol. Why did he do this? What did he gain from this? Absolute deranged menace behavior lmao

I'm now thinking that Jobin and Norisuke's issues with each other may have originated from Kaato. Jobin is clearly close with mommy dearest and seems to take her side over his dad's. I'm not.......the biggest fan of potentially blaming Kaato for Jobin's issues and I hope this isn't just an 'evil mother turns son against poor father' situation because I am not a fan of that trope.

Kaato briefly mentions that she's helped the family's success so I'm wondering if she is behind Jobin's philosophy of advancing the family's greatness beyond Norisuke's smaller ambitions. You know that other trope of women in patriarchal systems using their cunning and male relatives to exercise great power from the shadows, a la Agrippina and Nero? Yeah.

Anyway, him and Kaato are obvs scheming and I am so fucking keen and ready - Jobin has been a great antagonist so far and I am here for the fucked up mother-son team taking on Norisuke. The Higashikata family drama has hooked me from day one and I really enjoy the focus on their dynamics. Norisuke's final line this chapter is incomplete as he ponders something about Jobin, I love the mystery set-up with what could be going on. I adore how character-driven this story is and how personal the stakes are - I've ALWAYS wished the series explored the Joestar family more in-depth and, while it's obviously different, this part is making me veryyyyy happy with the Higashikatas. A++++ content for me and Jobin remains both compelling and really fucking funny.

Daiya

Not too much to say but this shit is so sad to me. Her entire life, Daiya's father and two eldest siblings never told her about her mother, to the point she seems surprised to even have one? Maybe this is just meant to be a joke about her being dumb / she's more surprised her mother is alive but still. Norisuke couldn't show her a photo, or give her closure or anything? A memento to think of her? Even a story so she could at least know something positive about her own mother who she surely must have wondered about before?!?! Norisuke is on thin fucking ice istg.

I could easily see Daiya latching onto Kaato moving forward and maybe even taking her side over Norisuke. Ofc she loves her dad but she's also a teenager finding out this critical bit of info has been hidden from her her entire life and is clearly so, so excited to have a mum 💔 Imagine how impactful it would be if Kaato managed to win over 2 of their 4 kids, the eldest and the youngest? I don't wanna get into speculating too much though.

Also - it was very sweet to me how Daiya was the one person who tried to approach Kaato and clearly wanted to help her up when Joshu tripped her. Regardless of Kaato's trustworthiness, I just thought that was very sweet of Daiya even if it maybe was naive 🥺

Joshu

Hate him and need to see him die rn. Kaato was completely justified and very based for attacking him and I hope she kills him with her bare hands. Literally the dinner table scene from Hereditary. What the fuck kind of parenting does Norisuke even do? Kaato's here for 5 minutes and puts Joshu in his place, while Norisuke just seems annoyed by him and has nothing to really say about him sexually assaulting Kaato in front of the entire family.

I don't want to imply that a strict mother would entirely fix Joshu's issues but holy shit, at least she would actually do something to discourage his behavior besides sighing and looking embarrassed. Is Joshu the way he is, in part, because Norisuke is a lousy dad who has implicit biases and an acceptance of his son's horrific behavior? Maybe. In an alternate world, could Kaato have whipped him into shape growing up and saved us all? I can dream.

Hato 👑

Fuck!!!!! I love Hato sm and am so so so happy she got a little spotlight this chapter 🥺. Initially this post was just gonna be about her because I'm in my Hato-obsession era so hard rn, but I had too much to say about everyone else. This will be a long section so I saved it for last but I will def return to some of these ideas when I've finished Jojolion.

From a writing standpoint, Hato is so valuable in this chapter. She fulfills a role that really no other character could and its cool to see - Hato is the only character who could realistically convey info to Josuke, and therefore the audience, about Kaato. The parents are too caught up arguing with each other and wouldn't want to tell the whole room about the murder. So who; a) knows about Kaato and her actions and b) has a good enough relationship with Josuke to convey this info to him? Hato. And what's cool is that Josuke knows this.

Josuke is perceptive enough to realize that Hato recognizes this woman and quietly asks her who she is. Despite how personal and emotionally-difficult this moment would've been for Hato, she opens up and tells him (and thus the audience) this family secret.

This next point is probably a bit more fanfic than analysis, but Hato would easily be the closest person to an ally Josuke has in the Higashikatas besides his complicated dynamic with Norisuke. It's really understated and maybe not even intentional, but Josuke and Hato logically should trust each other.

Jobin and Joshu just have an all-out antagonistic relationship with Josuke and have actively clashed with him multiple times. Josuke is on good terms with Daiya and Tsurugi, but not only did both begin by attacking Josuke, but they are both young and cannot always fulfill an equal role to Josuke because of this. Mitsuba and Kaato are currently unknowns, leaving Hato.

Unlike Norisuke, Hato has never antagonized Josuke. She has never gone after someone he cares about and, critically, is uninvolved in her family's shady stuff. She's not in the position to hide vital info from Josuke or scheme against him. All around, Hato seems pretty pleasant honestly and doesn't ever hurt others the way her siblings all seem to do - her eccentricities are harmless and Josuke doesn't judge her the way he judges other characters. In a house full of shady and bombastic people, I can see Josuke really appreciating Hato (Kei should really fulfill this role too).

In the Vitamin C arc, he specifically wants her permission before he kills Damo. Josuke can be ruthless at times, Damo is actively killing the family and it would be very justified for him to just kill the guy BUT he waits for Hato's approval. To me, that really says something - that he respects and likes Hato enough to go out of his way to consult her. Then, Hato and Josuke work together to defeat Damo, both using their stands to overcome Vitamin C. And Josuke's words on Damo being a threat and needing to be defeated helps Hato in her emotional journey - helps her reach the point where she fights back.

They're paired together a lot in this chapter and it's sweet seeing Josuke actually have a nice and healthy bond with someone in this goddamn family 😭 They really play off each other in a compelling and dynamic way, they're open to what the other says and they just generally seem to be on the same wavelength. I just see endless potential in them working together and getting along and maybe becoming like actual siblings and I hope we see more because I can see The Vision and I love them.

Focusing back on Hato, I desperately need to see more of what her childhood was like. What was her and Kaato's relationship? The only thing Kaato says to / about Hato is that she's "as beautiful as ever" and then a little quirk she had as a child. This doesn't give us a lot so I don't have a clear idea of their dynamic outside of wild headcanon. More importantly, Hato knows her mother well enough to anticipate her retaliation against Joshu. This makes me think that maybe Kaato was a stern mother who never took any disrespect and that she potentially had her stand even in Hato's childhood. There's so much potential here but it's too early to know anything.

While I know it likely stems from Araki not really intending for Hato to be a major character, from a Watsonian perspective it amazes me that Hato is as well-adjusted as she seems to be. The amount of disruption she faced as a child, losing her mother and then having her father give conflicting info is insane. Again, how did she rationalize all of this?

And then, worse of all, for her to have to look up her mother's crimes herself and find out about the murder herself - I am begging for a flashback to that event. Did she confront her father? Was Norisuke ever planning on breaking the news to her? Did she ever talk to Jobin about the crime?

I'm not gonna dwell on this too much, but this reveal makes the lack of Jobin + Hato moments so far really stand out. With their father having to raise the young ones and trying to brush everything under the rug, did the 2 eldest siblings ever confide in each other? It doesn't seem like it, their large age gap and Jobin's shadiness around Kaato gives me little hope Hato could find much solidarity with him but I might be wrong. I would love to have a scene of the 2 talking about this or really just interacting in a meaningful way.

This is much more fanfic-y and is my feminist lens coming in, but I can't help wondering if Hato took on a sort of 'motherly' role after Kaato's arrest. I'm not saying Norisuke like demanded she help raise her siblings buuuuuuuut I could see societal expectations and their family's situation causing Hato to take on this role regardless. Jobin was nearly an adult when Kaato left and seemed to go off and start his own family / pursue his own ambitions. He doesn't seem very close with his siblings and, with how much Norisuke has on his plate, I could see some responsibility and expectation falling onto Hato's shoulders. A maid could've helped but it is unfortunately a thing that eldest daughters in a family are burdened with these duties even when older sons are in the family. And with her mother gone and her male relatives set to run the family business, it just feels very likely. Would the eldest daughter even have a chance to run the business?

Hato is close with her younger siblings, she playfully teases Joshu and looks out for Daiya. While she has her own quirks, she is generally much more mature and responsible than most of her family. As the inheritor of the family curse and the business, a lot of focus would've been on Jobin growing up. Norisuke wanted to act like Kaato never existed and Jobin is distant, clearly knowing more. Hato would've been the primary female figure in both Daiya and Joshu's upbringings, she had to lie to them and keep the secret of Kaato for their entire lives. But she's not included in all the other secrets of her family, she's left out of a lot of subplots and the idea of her being involved in the business is never even suggested. Most likely, she'll remain a minor character, but god would I love for all of these intricacies to be explored. There's just sooooooo much juicy potential here, so much family drama and character arcs and social commentary and thematic stuff here and I know I'm overthinking this but idc I love Hato and her unique role in the story and this chapter has really opened my mind to a lot of ideas and possibilities.

Lastly, I just wanna point out Hato's current feelings towards Kaato and how she seems to be distancing herself from her mother. She seems distrusting and literally looks down on here in the panel above - please God give us some interactions between these two, I am so intrigued to see more of what Hato thinks about her. If there is more to the story of Kaato allegedly killing a kid, how will the family react if it comes to light? I hope we see lots more family drama and I am begging for more Hato focus especially, love her so much.

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destinyc1020 · 2 months

Text

My Movie Review: "Madame Web"

Whew....LAWWWWWDDDD..... Y'all where do I even begin? 😭😭

Y'all.....

Y'ALL........

This movie was SO bad y'all.... Like.... I'm almost in shock at how bad it was lol... 😓

It takes a LOT for me to label a movie just plain BAD, so this is really saying something. It was awful... 😭

Like, you know a movie is bad when you and other people in the audience are laughing at how BAD the film and the acting is lol. 😅🤣 Seriously! My friend and I and a couple sitting beside us were laughing the ENTIRE movie at how bad the acting was.

You guys, the acting was so criiiiiiinge! 🙈 I seriously have not seen acting this bad by an ENTIRE cast EVER lol. It was so bad, I was literally sitting there laughing at the dialog and the delivery. The only people who were decent were Adam Scott, the other side characters, and the three younger girls who were playing teenagers (Sydney Sweeney included). Everyone else sucked wind so bad. I swear, I don't think I've seen a movie where not only the LEAD was doing bad acting, but even the VILLIAN in the film was such a baaad actor, omg. 😭 His voice was so robotic. He was so WOODEN. He sounded like he was just reading his lines. Half the time, I wasn't sure if he was really talking to someone in the room like that lol. His voice sounded so unnatural.

This movie made me appreciate DECENT acting lol. I never realized how just your VOICE and your delivery of your lines can make the entire difference btwn someone who's a good actor, vs someone who's a bad actor. 🥴

Dakota Johnson.... Okay.... I gotta talk about her cuz lol..... 👀 This was actually my FIRST time seeing one of her films, so I went in with an open mind ykwim? But CHILE! That woman cannot act. 😭 At least, not in this film! Half the time, her character was talking out loud to herself. 👀 Her line delivery was so bad, and her voice was so monotone and didn't fit some of the scenes she was in. It was so cringe to the point where the couple of people beside us were LAUGHING at how bad her acting was. 😭 I know Dakota is another NepoBaby, but I thought that surely her acting must be better than this since she's had quite a few lead films under her belt by now. But nope! I was legit shocked by how bad her acting was in this. 🥴

Not only was the acting bad, but the WRITING of this film was horrendous also! Stuff that should have been conveyed by a look, a glance, a facial expression, etc. was all SPOKEN OUT LOUD by Dakota's character Cassie smh.

🤦🏾‍♀️

Like, what on earth kind of writing is that?? I haven't seen writing and editing of a film THIS bad in a very long time.

It took forever for the real action of the film to even begin. It took over an hour and a half to even get to the "meat" of the film, and when you finally get there, it's like: "this was it???" 🥴

Sony Sony Sony!!! What is you doing??? Y'all know I try to defend Sony on here. I have a soft spot for them. But geez.... I'm sorry Sony, I cannot defend this movie lol. 🤦🏾‍♀️

What on earth??

What sucked the most though, is that we didn't even get to see anybody suit up in their costumes/uniforms/suits because we only got snippets of them in the future in costume.

Soooo basically, it really wasn't a "superhero" film to me. Like, it was all this buildup and buildup to NOTHING in the end.

At the end, my friend said that the movie was so bad that she liked it lol. 😅

I'm not going to try to sway anybody's decision....Go see it if you wish. All I know is it was so bad to the point of laughter out loud for me all throughout the movie lol. 😅🤣

You know how some actors OVER-act and it's so cringe?? Yea, it was THAT level bad in some scenes lol. Maybe not on THIS level bad like the film "Showgirls" ROTFL, but it was still pretty bad...

youtube

😅🤣

The Pros:

The three "teenage" girls and Adam Scott were probably the best parts of this movie tbh lol

It was so bad, that it was pure comedy for us after a while lol😅

The Cons:

The writing was HORRENDOUS in this film

Dakota's acting and voice was just awful lol

Most of the acting SUCKED in this movie lol

The Villain was awful and sounded like a robot. Most of the time, it sounded like he was literally just reading his lines off of a script rotfl 😅🤣

The editing was horrible also!

We didn't really see the protagonists become "superheroes"

OVERALL SCORE: 3/10

Just plain bad!! I seriously haven't seen a movie THIS bad in a VERY long time. 😩 Thank goodness I have a movie membership and didn't have to pay full price for this, cuz I'd be PISSED! LOL

#my film review #Destiny's Film Reviews #madame web #destiny reviews movies #my movie review #Youtube

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nonclassyparty · 1 year

Note

OHHH LIKE A SNIPPET OR BONUS PART OR SOMETHING I WANT TO IF YOU WANT TO PLEASE COULD NEVER SAY NO TO YOUR WRITING

here, i have this 😭 it was supposed to be a bonus chapter from san's pov after chapter 9 but u can have it since i probably won't finish writing it

From: choisan.outlook.com (May 24th; 23:56 p.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

I got your letter...

This is an old e-mail address that I found in my inbox, you sent me a question about your Computer Science assignment but I never opened it...I'm sorry about that. The assignment is kind of hard by the way so if you felt bad that you were struggling with it, you shouldn't have.

I don't even know if you still fucking use this e-mail but your phone number isn't working or maybe you blocked me or something...

I hope Paris is good to you. I don't know what you're doing there, you didn't mention in the letter...

From: choisan.outlook.com (June 6th; 01:34 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

It's kind of shitty that I've known you for so long yet I know so little about you.

Which is definitely not your fault, I know you were trying. It's always me, isn't it?

I have a habit of not letting people I'm involved with get close to me because it gives them leverage and a weapon to hurt me. Although I did tell you things about myself that I only told Yeosang before.

You told me stuff as well but I kind of fucked up by sharing it with others, didn't I? I don't why I did that, I'm usually very good at keeping secrets but...I don't know. I'm sorry.

Thank you for keeping my secrets safe though, you're a much better person than me Y/N.

But really, I don't know almost anything about you. I keep trying to think of a reason why you left for Paris, I keep trying to remember if you ever mentioned anything about it before but everything is foggy.

I think it has to do with your art, right?

You're not reading these I'm sure so I'll keep writing to you. Don't know why, I guess I need someone to talk to.

Yeosang went home for the summer. He said he'll leave the frat next year and won't live with Yunho and I anymore, he'll move off campus. He said it to Yunho though, he's not talking to me.

If you went to Paris for your art then I'm really glad. You were always very talented.

I'm sorry I never said that to you before.

From: choisan.outlook.com (July 13th; 03:49 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

I was cleaning out my laptop and phone today because I got a part-time job and need extra space on both devices for all the projects and files and I found a photo of you, Yunho and I.

I don't know where I'm going with this...I just

You're very beautiful. I think you might be the most beautiful girl I've been with.

And I'm not saying it because I'm trying to be slick or suck up to you or anything, you're not even reading these so there's no point in me lying. It's just something I've been thinking about.

You know how people always say that their significant others are the most attractive people they met? That's bullshit.

There's always going to be someone better looking. It's a shallow way of thinking, I know, because I'm aware that when they say that shit they count in their personality and everything that person has done for them. It all adds points to their beauty.

But realistically speaking, they don't consider just their looks when they call them the most beautiful.

I told Boyoung she was the most beautiful person I've seen and she's pretty but I also said it because she's very soft spoken and smart and she has these little habits and interests that add to her beauty. All the quirks and flaws, beauty marks and personality traits that I loved. I meant all of that.

I don't know any of your quirks or weird habits, I know you like to wear skirts and that you like the color pink and pop music and that you paint.

But you're the most beautiful girl I've seen and this is purely a compliment I swear. I feel like I never told you that I thought you were pretty.

Not that you need me to tell you that you're pretty to feel pretty. I know you know that you're good looking.

Fuck I feel like this e-mail is so shallow I don't know why I'm still typing

I just wanted to tell you I guess that you're, objectively, very beautiful.

From: choisan.outlook.com (August 24th; 23:13 p.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

Classes started again!

I'm so busy with school and classes I fall asleep before midnight nowadays.

Yunho and I still live together but we got a new roommate. He's a freshman named Taeyoung.

I thought it would be annoying rooming with a freshman since both Yunho and I are taking a master's degree and shouldn't they have some kind of dorm system where they place freshmen together?

Apparently they do but there was some kind of mistake and now we're stuck with him. We feel like we're babysitting him half of the time. The kid is still a virgin.

But he's kinda cute. Feels like I have a younger brother to check up on once in awhile. And it's like fucking adorable how his mom sends us food as well every time he comes back from home.

He's like a little baby chick.

I miss Yeosang.

I still haven't told what happened between us to a single soul, only Yunho knows and that's because he was there.

You know, Yeosang was the first friend I made when I started college. We meet Yunho about half a year after that I think.

I know you and Yeosang never got along but he's a good guy I swear. I told him that you told him to go fuck himself by the way.

I knew he was in love with me, okay? I knew.

I knew since we started our second year and I didn't know what I should've done about that so I just pretended not to know because I didn't want to make shit awkward or ruin our friendship.

I sometimes used it. His feelings for me. He always said yes to everything as long as I asked and he always picked my side in every argument between the three of us.

It's not like I ever manipulated him into agreeing to something dangerous, it was mostly to have the place cleared out when I want to bring a girl over or get him to drive me to or pick me up from a party.

And it was shitty of me. I know i know i know i know i know

I'm a bad person and a shitty friend and I don't blame him for not wanting anything to do with me anymore. And I feel so sorry. I feel so fucking sorry but none of it can fix this. I fucked up.

But I miss him.

We had a fight a couple of days after you left. I don't know how it started but I know he was pissed at me for mentioning the stuff you told me in private to them (see he's a good guy. much better than me) and he was snippy and rude in the upcoming days until finally, a fight broke out in our living room.

I said some shit, he said some shit while Yunho was trying to mediate between us.

I was angry and frustrated and he was being an asshole and you know that Yeosang can be quite an asshole, so I might've let it slip that I knew about his feelings and then he got hurt and said something that hurt me in response.

'You know, I'm glad Y/N left. She finally realized that you aren't worth the pain it takes to love you.'

That's what he said.

It hurt like a bitch, I cried after he left (and I can say that here because I know you won't tell anyone but if in some case you DO read these, I'll deny every word).

I don't think I'll ever be able to forget those words for as long as I'm alive.

From: choisan.outlook.com (September 21st, 21:16 p.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

I went to the fall festival today and saw those pink velvet scrunchies for sale on one of the stalls that reminded me of you. It was weird.

Everything pink reminds me of you.

From: choisan.outlook.com (October 30th, 04:25 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

When you said you hoped I knew how much you hate me in the letter...did you mean that?

I get it. I really really fucking do. Everyone ends up hating me sooner than later. Or resenting me.

I don't know which one is worse.

From: choisan.outlook.com (November 15th, 03:45 a.m.)

To: park_yn.hotmail.com

Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N

Park Y/N

I never could've loved you the way you wanted me to.

I feel like it would've been nice if i did fall in love with you so everything that happened could've been for something but it was just pointless wasn't it? Useless.

Truth is, I have no fucking clue what love is.

I've never seen an actual example of it in real life.

I don't even know if what I had with Boyoung was love...was it? See, I'm asking you because I have no idea.

My parents didn't love each other, all they do is argue and hate each other and I can't tell you how many times I've cried when I was a kid wishing they'd just get a fucking divorce so I wouldn't have to hear everything my father called my mother

I love my mom. See, that I know. I love my mom. I would die for her. She's the only reason why I have some shred of ...anything in me even though it's not love. Everything I do in college, my exams, part-time jobs, I do for her but I fear that will never be enough to repay her for everything she has done to me.

You know she was the only person who ever told me it was okay to cry.

My dad hated when I cried, even when I was a kid, he hated it. He always told me men don't cry.

But I wasn't a man, I was just a little boy who fell down from his bike and wanted someone to comfort him and kiss the wounds away. My dad never did, only ever told me to get up.

My mom always told me it was okay to cry years after that. She said it was okay.

I still never cried but it was nice to hear someone say it.

My dad on the other hand... I fucking hate him.

I know it's a bad thing to say but I do. I hate him and he hates me as well.

He told me once how I ruined his life and it didn't make me cry.

I don't fucking know why I'm typing this. Well I actually do. My dad called today.

He doesn't call often but when he does it ruins my entire week.

He only cares about my grades, if I'm passing my exams and is just repeating 'hurry it up with this degree shit and get a job already'.

Like I can hurry the semester up literally what the fuck. I don't even ask them for money. I never did. not once since I started college but he looks at me as if I'm an investment and not his son

I hate him so much I hate i hate i hate i hate him.

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ridiculously-over-obsessed · 6 months

Note

hurt/comfort prompts #2 pls! (i was hoping you'd reblog the list 😄)

Djskldjdf hurt/comfort is my wheelhouse I couldn't resist that list when I saw it 😂 also please consider this my formal apology for what's about to transpire 😬🩵

Hurt/Comfort Prompts

(although I would totally understand if no-one wanted to ask for another prompt ever again after this 😭)

(2) "You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel safer."

Beca ran a hand through the hair as she stepped through the Emergency Room doors, looking around her as she tried to find the person who had frantically called her.

"Becs?"

"Chloe...." Beca breathed, stepping through the crowd of people towards her pale and trembling friend, a frown pulling at her eyebrows, "You're hurt."

"I'm fine." Chloe shook her head, tears in her eyes as she swallowed thickly, one arm in a sling and a dressing taped to her forehead, "It's just a couple of scrapes and bruises, it's nothing."

"Yeah, you're right, they just give slings away for fun." Beca snorted, "What happened?"

"I was driving her to the airport..." Chloe's voice was suddenly very quiet, looking down at the floor as Beca gently encouraged her to sit down again, "Like I always do, it's the same route we always take, I wasn't speeding or running stop signs or-"

"Hey." Beca felt her stomach knot seeing Chloe so visibly distressed, wanting to soothe her, "Chloe, no-one thinks this was your fault."

"He just came out of nowhere." Chloe shook her head bitterly, tears streaming down her cheeks, "He plowed right into us Beca, one minute we were talking, and the next everything was upside down and she wasn't moving or talking or anything..."

"I'm sorry Chloe..." Beca sighed, "That must have been really scary for you."

"It was." Chloe sniffled, "I... I'm really glad you came Becs, I didn't want to sit here alone."

"Of course." Beca shrugged, "Look, Posen and I might not be best of friends, but she's still family. I wanted to be here. The other Bellas are coming too, they're just finishing up their classes."

"She loves you in her own weird way, you know that right?" Chloe looked up from her lap, "She's just... closed off Beca. You get that right?"

"Yeah." Beca nodded, "I do Chlo. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine." Chloe shrugged, "I'm just scared Beca. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole life. I'm a really safe driver, I pride myself on it, today's the first time I've ever felt unsafe..."

Beca sighed softly again, her stomach in knots. Chloe had been beside herself, almost incomprehensably hysterical when she had picked up the phone an hour ago, and no wonder. Aubrey had come down to visit the Bellas in Georgia for the weekend as she often did, freshly graduated but finding she still missed spending time with her sisters. Chloe didn't have any classes the morning she was due to fly back home, so she had offered her a ride to the airport, a chance for the two of them to spend a little one-on-one time together before Aubrey went home.

So when Beca got a call from Chloe that they'd been in an accident not twenty minutes after they'd set off, her heart had dropped like a lead weight. She could hear the sound of sirens in the background, Chloe sobbing into the phone, Beca able to make out words like 'unconcious' and 'blood in her ear'. She and Aubrey had their differences last year, but by the time the ICCA Finals had rolled around they had buried the hatchets, closer than Beca had ever thought she'd be to her type-A pain in the ass captain.

Beca had made quick work of alerting the group chat to what had happened, distressed text messages following her own, with promises that they would all join Beca and Chloe as soon as they could. She had spent the whole way there trying to wrap her head around events, trying not to think of the worst case scenarios, not just for Aubrey but for Chloe too. She had spoken to her, had been responsive and alert even if she'd been upset, Chloe was okay. She had to be okay.

"It's going to be okay." Beca mumbled, moving a little closer to Chloe, "This is Aubrey Posen we're talking about, she's a stubborn ass, no way she's letting a little car accident keep her down."

Chloe managed a small giggle, pursing her lips as her uninjured hand tugged at the hem of her t-shirt absentmindedly, "I'm really scared Becs. What if she's not? They took her in for brain surgery..."

"You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel safer." Beca gave her a small smile as Chloe looked up from the floor, "Or less scared or whatever... just don't tell anyone I offered, I have a reputation to maintain."

"Thanks Beca." Chloe reached and took Beca's hand, squeezing it tightly as she closed the gap between them, resting her head on her shoulder to boot, "I'm really glad you came."

"Of course." Beca could feel her cheeks turning red as she felt Chloe's breath on her neck, swallowing hard against the lump of unspoken feelings in her throat.

"Have you called her folks?"

"Yeah, they're getting the next flight out from North Carolina." Chloe nodded, "I didn't tell them much, just that we'd been in an accident and Aubrey was on her way up to surgery. I didn't want to freak them out before they got here."

"That's a good call Chlo." Beca nodded, savouring the smell of Chloe's shampoo as she turned her head a little to rest atop hers.

She would never admit it out loud, but Beca had been stone cold terrified on her way here that something awful had happened to Chloe that she had played down over the phone. The idea that Chloe could be hurt or dying when she wasn't there to try and fix it made Beca feel more lost and scared than she'd ever been in her life. Whether it was just a schoolgirl crush or something more, Beca could no longer deny that the feelings she had for Chloe went beyond "she's my best friend", not after she'd had to pull her car over to throw up at the side of the road because the fear had turned her stomach.

"I'm staying right here until someone comes to tell us what's going on." Beca gave Chloe's hand a squeeze, "You don't have to be scared on your own. That's what family's for Chloe."

"I know." Chloe nodded a little, "Thank you."

Beca didn't say anything, simply holding Chloe's hand in hers and watching the hustle and bustle of the ER waiting around them. It wasn't long before she felt Chloe grow heavier against her shoulder, breathing deep and even as she still held her hand tightly. No wonder she'd fallen asleep, after everything that she had been through today Beca would probably have fallen asleep too. She hoped it was a testament to how safe Chloe felt with her here.

It was three hours of sitting in uncomfortable chairs, of Chloe snoring softly on her shoulder and the Bellas arriving in droves to sit with them, before someone finally came to give them an update.

"Aubrey Posen?"

"That's us." Beca gently stirred Chloe from her nap on her shoulder, "How is she?"

"You're family?" The doctor frowned a little as he looked around at the women staring expectantly at him.

"Yes." Beca's tone grew sharper and irritated as Chloe bit her lip, rubbing at her eye with her uninjured hand, sensing the panic that was already starting to radiate off her.

"We're her family. She'd say as much herself."

"Okay." The doctor nodded, "She's out of surgery now, and on her way to the ICU. We managed to stop the bleeding on her brain, and repair the lacerations to her spleen and liver too. We're still worried about her kidneys, and we won't know about lasting brain injures until she wakes up, but she's out of the woods for now."

"What are her odds on being completely fine?" Beca pushed, feeling Chloe's hand slide back into hers and grip it tightly.

"As of right now, about sixty percent." The doctor was calm as the Bellas seemed to crumple at the news, "I know that seems really low, but it's the best that we can hope for right now."

"Right..." Beca rubbed at her forehead with her free hand, "Can we see her?"

"Not right now." The doctor shook his head, "I'm sorry, but once she's been moved to the ICU we can think about visitors. I'll let you know when that is."

"Thanks." Beca mumbled, running her thumb over Chloe's knuckles as she felt her start to shake against her again, "We'll be right here."

The doctor left the Bellas to sit with the news, Chloe whimpering softly as she clung to Beca's hand.

"She has to be okay Beca..." She whispered, Beca able to feel her tears against her neck, "She has to be okay."

"I know." Beca mumbled, sighing heavily as she looked around at the Bellas, knowing they all shared the same sentiment, "She will."

-----

Aubrey pursed her dry lips, brows furrowing as the world swam sluggishly into view. She felt heavy and slow, like she was wading through treacle as she tried to lift her hand to rub at her sore head.

"Hey... you're awake."

Aubrey managed to turn her head towards the familiar voice, finding a grinning Beca sat next to her, feeling her hand take hers.

"How are you feeling Bree?"

"Ow." Aubrey rasped, Beca's grin growing, "Water?"

"Uh, hang on, let me grab some ice chips, that's what the nurse said you could have." Beca quickly got to her feet, leaving the room for a second and returning a few seconds later with a cup full of ice chips.

She silently helped a few slide past Aubrey's cracked lips, fighting the malestrom of emotions inside at seeing her former acapella captain's eyes open again.

"Better?" She asked as Aubrey sank back into her pillows, looking utterly exhausted.

"Mhm." Aubrey mumbled, eyelids flutterung shut for a moment, "Thanks."

"No problem." Beca settled back in the chair next to her bed again, the same place she'd been sat for almost a week now, "It's good to see you awake Posen, you scared the crap out of us for a minute there."

"What happened?" Aubrey's eyes opened slowly again, Beca scooting her chair a little closer.

"What do you remember?"

"We set off for the airport..." Aubrey huffed out a sigh, "Chloe was telling me about your setlist for the ICCAs and then... nothing."

"You were in a car wreck." Beca took her hand again, "It was pretty bad Bree, like brain surgery bad. You've been in a coma for almost a week."

"Chloe." Aubrey's hooded eyelids flew open as realisation hit her, "Is she okay?"

"Um..." Beca swallowed thickly, eyes flicking down to her feet again, "Not really. We thought she was, that it was a couple of cuts and bruises and a dislocated shoulder but... there was a bleed that they missed, it didn't show up on any of the scans they did."

"What... what happened?"

Beca looked up, stomach in knots as she saw the tears in Aubrey's eyes. She'd never seen Aubrey cry, never seen her look so scared and so lost, and she hated it. She was the strongest person Beca knew, if Aubrey fell apart she didn't know how she'd keep herself together.

"They rushed her in to operate and repair the damage but um... she... she didn't make it off the table."

Beca felt sick again as she relived the moment that the surgeon had somberly stepped out of the operating room, how her legs had gone out from underneath her, how she had let out a scream so painful and tortured it felt like she had ripped herself open. It felt like she had, like losing Chloe had robbed her of part of herself too. She didn't remember much of the immediate aftermath, just snatches of sobbing and numbness, of Stacie cradling her in her arms as she cried herself sick, of the Bellas grief as raw as her own.

Beca hadn't left the hospital since that day, telling herself and the Bellas it was because she had to be there to tell Aubrey what had happened when she woke up, but it wasn't the whole truth. She couldn't go back to the house, couldn't walk past Chloe's bedroom knowing she wasn't in there and she wouldn't ever be again. Aubrey's parents would have told her about Chloe, would have arguably been far better at comforting her than Beca would, but she didn't want that. It had to be Beca that told her.

"No..."

Aubrey's expression crumpled as her hand tightened around Beca's, tears starting to run down her cheeks.

"Beca it's a mistake."

"It's not." Beca felt her own tears burning at the corner of her eyes again, "I wish it was Bree, I'm so sorry."

Aubrey opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find her words but none came. Instead, she started to sob harder, Beca getting up from her seat and onto Aubrey's hospital bed, careful of the wires and tubes as she embraced her. Beca hated hugging people, hated people being in her personal space, but she knew that if Chloe were here she would never forgive her for not comforting Aubrey like this. Beca wasn't a hugger, but Chloe was, and right now Aubrey needed Chloe and not her.

"I'm sorry." Bexa whispered into her hair, voice thick as her own tears starting to take over, "I wish it was me instead, I'd give anything to switch places with her."

"She- she l-loved you." Aubrey sobbed against Beca's chest, "It's n-not fair, she was supposed to t-tell you, y_you were supposed to- supposed to-"

"She did tell me." Beca's words stuck in her throat as she tried to soothe Aubrey, "It... it was the last conversation we had."

-----

"What's taking them so long?" Chloe grumbled, head resting on Beca's shoulder as they stood in front of the vending machines.

"I don't know." Beca sighed, looking at the contents of the machine in front of her, "You'll be able to see her soon Chloe, they'll be making sure she's okay to have visitors."

Chloe simply sighed, her good hand still holding Beca's. She hadn't relinquished her hold of her hand since Beca had offered it to her for more than a few seconds, Beca surpisingly not saying a word about it. Maybe she needed the comfort as much as Chloe did.

"We were talking about you."

"What?" Beca's attentin was torn from the selection of snacks in front of her, "Why, what did I do this time?"

Chloe giggled as she shook her head, lifting it from Beca's shoulder as she grinned at her.

"Why do you think it was bad?"

"I dunno." Beca shrugged, "It's Aubrey, she's nit picky, I always assume I did something wrong."

"You're so dramatic Beca." Chloe rolled her eyes, "You didn't do anything wrong, not this time anyway."

"Okay..." A smirk started to pull at Beca's lips, "So why were you talking about me then weirdo?"

"Because I love you." Chloe's grin dropped to a smile, squeezing Beca's hand as she lent into her, "Because I've loved you from the moment we met and Aubrey was trying to convince me to tell you rather than keeping it bottled up."

"Oh." Beca had gone bright red, brain short curcuiting as she tried find any words that were better than 'oh'.

"And it's okay if you don't feel the same." Chloe shrugged a little, "Because I still want to be your friend Beca, even if you don't feel the same. But life is way too short to... to not..."

Chloe had started to sway slightly, a frown starting to pull at her expression as the coliur drained from her face.

"Chlo?" Beca frowned, letting go of Chloe's hand so she could Chloe's face in her hands, finding her brilliant blue eyes to be hazy and unfocused.

"I don't feel good..." Chloe mumbled, starting to crumple in Beca's arms.

"Chloe?!" Beca caught her, lowering them both to the ground, "Hey! Someone help!"

Beca's attention turned back to Chloe as she shook her gently, trying to keep her awake as she heard people scrambling around her to find some help.

"You're okay." Beca shook her head, lips pursed, "Chloe wake up, you're going to be fine, c'mon. You don't get to say something like that and then die in my arms, that's dramatic even by your standards."

"I..." Chloe was trying to find her words as her eyes searched Beca's, "I..."

"It's okay." Beca shook her head, brushing her her from her eyes, "Chloe it's okay, I love you too. I love you, please don't die on me."

"Beca..." A small smile tugged at Chloe's lips as she grew heavier in her arms, Beca frantically looking around them for someone that was coming to help, "I k-knew it. I knew Aubrey was right... I... love... you..."

-----

"This one's for you Chlo." Beca mumbled, hand rising up to briefly clasp the necklace she wore.

It was almost six months since Chloe had died. Six long, achingly empy months that Beca had endured while trying to navigate this new normal. Aubrey had needed extensive physical therapy to learn to do basic things again, teaching herself to eat and walk and put her own clothes on from scratch. Beca and the Bellas had been there every frustratingly small step of the way, putting up with Aubrey's mood swings and her short temper no matter how often she snapped at them.

The Beales had arrived in Georgia not long after Aubrey had woken up, and things had progressed quickly from there. Far too quickly for Beca as she watched them pack up Chloe's room, removing every trace of her from the Bella House, wanting all the pieces of theor daughters life to grieve over. That was what she had thought anyway until Chloe's mom had quietly entered her room with a large box in hand, setting it next to Beca on the bed and then holding her as Beca had sobbed into her chest.

Chloe had told them all about Beca, about everyrhing she felt for her best friend, and neither of her parents had any desire to take Chloe away from her. So a box with some of Chloe's jumpers, her CDs, her journals and some other sentimental items were Beca's to keep, as was a part of Chloe herself.

She had been cremated, and Beca was given a necklace that had a portion of Chloe's ashes stored safely within an intricate heart design. Beca hadn't taken it off since she had been given it at the funeral, somwhow having a part of Chloe like this had lifted some of the crushing weight from her chest.

Chloe was still with her, still with their family as they all returned to the rountine of college, and eventually of the ICCAs. Beca hadn't wanted to at first, hadn't wanted to perform without Chloe by her side, couldn't face the prospect of having to fill the hole in their choreography or their vocals that had been left.

But when Aubrey had insisted that Beca continued with their plans for this years competition, had all but bullied Beca out of her bed and into a rehearsal, Beca realised she didn't gave to. Not this year anyway. The gap in formation would remain, the missing layer from their vocals wouldn't be restored, and that was okay. It was their way of honouring Chloe, of grieving a loss too big for words. There was no filling Chloe's spot, and that was okay, because no-one could ever fill that gap for them. They would always be a family member down, and pretending otherwise would do none of them any good.

So now, in front of the judges, their fellow acapella singers, and fans, the Barden Bellas would perform in the ICCA finals for Chloe. They would bring home the trophy for the woman who had always believed in them, even when they didn't believe in themselves.

As they sang and danced, performing their hearts out, Beca felt as though Chloe was watching, that if there was some kind of heaven she was sitting on a cloud somewhere and cheering them on with an enthuasism that far outpaced the packed crowd in the theatre. She looked up in the seconds before her solo, half convinced that she could see the beaming grin of the woman she loved shining back at her before she stepped forward.

This one was for Chloe.

"One by one, only the good die young... they're only flyin' too close to the sun, and life goes on... without you..."

Beca had made it through qualifiers and regionals and the quarter and semi finals without shedding a tear, too numb with loss to register the emotions behind her choice for this set as the fast paced number mellowed and sombered. But in the bright lights of the Lincoln Centre, knowing this was her last time performing this set, performing for Chloe so openly, she felt them welling in her eyes with such a force that she was amazed she could still sing.

"Another tricky situation, I get to drowin' in the blues, and I find myself thinkin', well, what would you do?"

"Ooh..."

As the Bellas harmonised around her, Beca let her head drop for a moment, trying to pull herself together to finish. She had to finish, this was for Chloe, she had to keep going.

"Yes, it was such an operation...

"Ooh."

"Forever paying every due.. "

Beca looked gratefully to Sracie who had picked up her solo, breaking formation to stand with Beca and shore her up. She gently wiped a tear from Beca's cheek, her own falling as freely as Beca nodded that she was okay to continue.

"Hell, you made a sensation! You found a way through..."

Beca poured everything she had into her next lines, head high as she belted the lines not to her audience but up high into the air, up to Chloe who she knew was watching them.

"Touch my tears... with your lips... touch my world... with your fingertips... and we can have forever... and we can love forever... forever is our today!"

Beca didn't care if she permanently damaged her vocal chords as she continued to belt out her lines, suddenly so raw and emotional after months of trying to put all her feelings to one side so she could get out of bed. The whole world fell away, Beca left on stage alone as Chloe stood in front of her, tears in her eyes as she reached for Beca, Beca's hand streched out for the hand she knew she wouldn't be able to grasp, desperate to touch Chloe, to hold her hand, to be with her just one more time.

"Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever? Forever... is our today..."

The Bellas had joined Beca again, their choreography tossed aside as they moved into a tight line either side of their openly grieving sister, Stacie and Amy practically holding her up as Beca's shaking body managed to produce the final line of their set.

"Who waits forever anyway?"

The lights went down, plunging the stage in darkness, the audience erupted in applause and cheers, but Beca didn't notice any of it, sobbing hard as her legs finally gave out underneath her. It was Stacie that lifted her from the ground, carrying her backstage as Beca fell apart, every ounce of emotion that she had poured into their set tearing her soul to pieces.

"I w-want Chloe." Beca choked out as Stacie held her tighter still, now sequestered backstage with the Bellas around her, "I w-want her b-back!"

"I know." Stacie whispered into her hair, "I know Becs. She'd be so proud of you, that was incredible."

"I want Chloe." Beca whimpered, "I want Chloe."

There was nothing any of them could say, and they knew it, her family instead choosing to move around until all of them had huddled together in a tight embrace, Beca cocooned in the centre of them, raw and bereft as they came together to comfort the one person who had not once fallen apart on them until now.

"I'm here Becs."

Beca knew Chloe wasn't really there, that she wasn't really stood their with them, but in that moment she didn't care, screwing her eyes tighter shut so that she could cling to this illusion a little longer.

"I love you Beca."

Beca could've sworn she felt fingers gently slotting with her own, felt a head pressed against her temple.

"It' okay Beca. You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel safer."

#is it bad if i'm sobbing at my own fic??? because i am 😭😭😭#pitch perfect #pitch perfect fanfic #bechloe #bechloe fics #bechloe fanfic #beca mitchell #chloe beale #fanfiction #my fic #anon #prompt things

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toxicanonymity · 9 months

Text

raider read-through by @milla-frenchy

toxicanonymity: I'm so honored that you re-read him like this 🥹. This commentary is so impressive and generous. Note to readers, this is best if you're familiar with the stories. - most of the quotes are individual like if there are 4 lines listed they're not together in the story.

TRIGGER WARNINGS FROM EACH STORY APPLY: Raider Joel Master List

milla-frenchy asked (1.7k words):

Hey :)

I have so many fics to read but what do i do? I re re re re read Raider^^

I picked some moments in each chapter (I could write a thesis on this series lol)

Original

"Tired of you rookies," Miller says. "Show some respect."

The definition of irony

TOX: Yes, if you didn't know what the fic was about, you might think he's talking about respecting her 😳 all about himself.

The brutality in this chapter is impressive:

"Now, you're gonna suck this cock and you're gonna like it, understand?" He strokes himself and his brow furrows as he looks at you.

"Cause you don't want me passin' you to those guys, trust me."

“Where do you want it, sweet pea?” He squats down and fingers you.

“Good thing I kept ya all for myself. They would’ve ruined this pretty little hole.”

This chapter installs Raider's inflexibility and harshness. I like that he tells reader to look at him, thinking to the last chapters where he has now trouble watching her. TOX: Bingo. Raider's eye contact.

Failed rescue

This is the chapter where I find Raider the most "funny" I think. I love his dark humor and the nicknames he gives Jack (lover boy, Romeo, buddy...).

“Oh, she’s fine . . .” Joel says.

"Doin' great, sweet pea. Pants off, now. Just like before." He looks at Jack.

"Same way as before?" Joel asks. Jack whimpers and you don't want to face him.

"Well damn," Joel chuckles proudly. "Hear that? She wants the D," he says to Jack,

“Doin’ great, baby. Now let’s show’m how good you take a real cock.”

He's awful with Jack (but i love it) (but he's awful)

The whole passage with the guns establishes his dominance (the exchanges of guns he uses on reader, the places where he uses them)

Jack never does something against it. Of course he remains calm so that reader does not suffer consequences, but we do not imagine for a moment that he can put Raider in difficulty. Raider's humiliation towards him goes so far as to make him get naked.

Joel looks Jack up and down and smiles, bemused. "Turn you on? . . . Get to it, then." You wonder if Jack was aroused. Jack whimpers. "Go on. It's there, might as well jack it." You don't know what to think about Jack being aroused. "Hell, finish before me and I might let you live."

He's so sadistic

"Takin' you with me," Joel pants as he fucks you. Then he thrusts deep inside you and stays there. "I'll take care of ya. Won't let anyone touch ya"

THE kind of sentence that makes me melt, even when it's spoken by a guy capable of the worst

Stash house

One of my favorites

I love that he breathes her scent during the ride

My favorite passage: after he hits one of the men, he takes her in front of everyone else. It's horrible, but... Its power, its dominance are disconcerting. The whole scene is one of the most exciting thing I've read.

One sentence in particular is so hot for me:

Joel's massive hand holds onto the edge of the dirty mattress for leverage, another hand on your shoulder as he rails you for the third time today, harder than ever.

I've read this sentence so many times! I like the precise description (and the position is hot)

Yet the way you describe it is not romanticized at all (maybe i I'm doing a disociation every time I read it, saying to myself no, the other guys aren't here)

Failed escape

The parallel between the men of Fedra and Raider was maybe the beginning of the Raider!PRtour^^ TOX: 😭

Raider who calls them animals always makes me laugh

The whole passage in the van, in this chapter, is sooooo hot

The stage where he undones his belt, unzips his jeans, then :

"You want this?" You nod almost imperceptibly, then he says, "Go ahead." You sink onto him with a soft gasp. “That's right, take it," he says. He puts his hand over your mouth and pulls you down, breathing, "yes." Then he sighs "Ahh," as his girth parts your insides. He has to use both arms and a thrust to bury himself entirely, then your body’s flush with his.

And

He inhales deeply through his nose and puts his arm flat on your back with his strong forearm resting along your spine and his hand firmly gripping the nape of your neck. He forces you down, and you fold forward with your head near your knees. Then he covers your mouth tight with his other hand. His arm presses down on your back as his hips lift up into you. He grunts as he erupts inside you.

It's so hot, but frankly the whole journey, where she's impaled on his cock, is a hot masterpiece. (I already told you but I LOVE the way he holds her and makes her move) TOX: Thank you. I'm always a fan of being impaled on a cock and an anon said they got their first penetrative orgasm with this one.

The guy who calls him a maniac^^

He slides his hand between your legs and shoves his middle finger right inside you.

Once again he fingers her without warning (already in chapt 1), and each time I think what the hell? (as if the guy hadn't kidnapped and raped her, but the fingering with no preparation hell no...) (i know you wrote she was still wet but !) (I don't know why these moments shock me considering everything else lol)

Then two sentences that bring down the temperature immediately

“He can’t watch her 24/7 forever.”

And

"You're gonna have to be brave for me in a minute, baby."

I love backlash.

J. Miller

Carving and ass claiming in a single chapter. Wow. That's why you're the queen of depravity^^

I noticed a detail for the first time:

When he asks her a question that involves a choice, he either "congratulates" her (chap 1 when he asks her where she wants him « good girl », and chapter 2 when he asks her the same question « "Alright then," Joel nods in approval. "Let's see those titties.")

Either he responds in an "accommodating" way

"Wanna pick a side?” “No.” You’re too tired to think about it. “You sure?” “I don’t care.” “Then we'll do both."

He is rather diplomatic and accommodating when he wants. Since the beginning. Well, yeah, doing both in not SO great, but i mean he doesn't get mad or degrade her verbally.

TOX: This is something I miss doing with him, making her choose what he's going to do to her or how. "We'll do both" kinda teaches her that she should choose or else. Now that she wants so much from him, it's not as common.

His remarks about the other girl, his threats :

"Careful, sweet pea. You'll get what you ask for and a whole lot more."

"Ya know, there was a girl at that house today. Sucked some damn good cock."

"Coulda left ya with FEDRA, taken her home. Woulda been easier."

"There's somethin' about ya, sweet pea." He looks concerned by what he's saying. "Not everyday I make someone mine." He sighs. "But god damnit, you better behave."

Make the chapter truly oppressive. The finale with ass fucking and overstimulation (he comes down on her just to have another one, as he told her) is so dark.

Home

What about some Chef Boyardee after a gentle first sodomy? TOX: LMAOOOO

This chapter is a roller coaster. After the violence of the previous chapter, he feeds her. Then she kisses him (would have done the same) and he pushes her away. Harsh. But totally understandable as to his psychology. TOX: and he gave her a little taste before he realized what he was doing. so we know he has it in him. . . one of these days he won't react that way 💗

Company

I think I was in almost the same state of mind as reader in this one, so afraid that he fucks the other (poor) girl

Joel unbuttons his pants and looks at the girl menacingly

He unzips his tight jeans and takes his semi-hard cock out. He asks you, “Where should I put it?”

“Do you have to put it anywhere?” you whimper. (this one made me laugh)

He spits on his fingers and turns to face you. He keeps his knuckles facing you as he reaches back and slaps her pussy without looking at her. She yelps. He keeps his hand there and rubs her clit while he stares at you with his hard dick in his other hand.

“Don’t stop,” Joel cautions. “Or I’ll do it myself, and not with the gun.”

He’s facing her side and looking at you as he pumps himself. He straddles one of her legs and you whimper. He points his cock at her pussy, then he looks at you again as he strokes himself and comes on her ass. TOX: pretty animalistic in wanting to use his cum possessively.

So violent. Emotionally and physically

“SWEET PEA!” "WHERE ARE YOU BABY?"

I love how he worried about her

He takes his hard cock out, gathers saliva in his mouth, then looks down to his lap and spits on it. Then he wraps an arm around you, holding you into his chest, and lifts you up to get clearance. He pulls your panties to the side and you gasp as he impales you.

Hot

The hand that cradles your head begins to fist your hair. He breathes vocally, then he groans as he forces you all the way down on his cock. He keeps you down, with all of him inside you, filling you all the way up.

HOOOOOT

And then his reaction when she tells him she loves him. We see that he is no longer the same as in Home.

The missionary ! <3 <3 <3

And the kisses, saying her nickname during his sleep <3 <3 <3

Gun hug

This one had a real impact on me, I took a big slap.

I liked the dialogue at the beginning of the chapter between the two of them. He who gets carried away, she who temporizes. It was interesting to read the exchanges.

Until the passage where he gets angry because she says no when talking about her chest. I thought, "Fuck, he's still so fucked up". We are facing two Raiders. The one when they met, and the one he probably thought was dead in him. And I think he realizes, more or less consciously, that he's still there, and that reader wakes him up. And he obviously doesn't know how to handle it at all.

TOX: Well put! The word "no" is a trigger to him here since it threatens his dominant identity. He's probably especially on edge Since we see a hint of guilt after he spanks her, hopefully this will improve.

The rest of the chapter is a Tarentino-style scenario with weapons, deaths, sex, all at the same time. Perfection !

And the end with the kiss on the forehead, where the chapter had almost begun with a spanking. Damn.

So many rollercoasters in this series. I love it :)

And i love reader so much, she's brave :)

Have a good day !

(Oh my god i got carried away :D)

TOX: Thank you!!! Have a beautiful day.

Now anyone who's sad or mad at him, read this and check out the raider!analysis and raider!PR tour tags lol.

Also check out this collage by Milla <333

#raider!ask #raider!analysis #tw noncon #tw dubcon #cw violence #toxic ask #submission #milla frenchy

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sexybabystevie · 1 year

Note

i saw someone else do this and IM DYING to know so... if you had to assign each mutual a taylor album what would they all be assigned?

i already know i'm gonna forget people because i still, unfortunately, do not have all of my mutuals on my list (ugh i keep forgetting :") ) but here we go!! if i don't tag you i'm sorry, and if you reply i'd love to add you!! <333

starting with ally since she sent this in :)

ally @yoalchumly - red tv. not only because you listened to atw10 for HOURS upon hours in a single week lol, but also because a lot of how we met and the things we talked about remind me of the topics of this album. also, you have the very sincere, heartfelt and emotional (not at all in a bad way) nature to you, and to me that's what encapsulates the red album <3

lily @my-my-only-angel - (first of all i am SO sorry we hardly ever interact, but ily!! my tumblr feed sucks these days and i rarely ever see your posts but i still very much appreciate you!!) to me, you are SO cool it's not even funny. and you have the best bad bitch energy (a lot of people here a going to be hearing this btw so be prepared) so ultimately i'm bestowing upon you reputation!! you give off the vibes of someone who is unapologetically and confidently themselves, and i really admire that in you! that energy is absolutely present and rep and there is why i associate it with you!! <3

ela @lovelyela - (i know you're still kind of inactive but that's totally okay! i've been a mess about my blog recently so it's not biggie, but i wanna include you anyway so i hope that's okay!!) every time i've spoken to you, you have been absolutely so kind and sweet! you were one of my first even stranger things related mutuals, and i'll never forget that!! for that reason, i'm giving you debut album taylor swift!! you have the very kind, shy kind of vibe that that lbum has as a whole to me!! <3

natti @natti-ice - okay. you are literally so cool i'm not even kidding. like i am SO honored that you're one of my mutuals/friends and i LOVE always seeing you in my feed! so i'm also giving you reputation because, again, you have amazing energy that's very confident and you're just SO cool <3

vic @royalmaybank - we haven't interacted in like. a REALLY long time and i am so sorry!! i absolutely need to catch up on what you've written recently!! to me, you give off both the vibes of lover and folklore, but if i had to ultimately pick one then i think i'd go with folklore! the softness and calmness of it all, combined with the way that to me, every song on that album feels so made with love reminds me of you!! <3

anna @keeryshouse - anna!! we haven't talked in SO long but i'll literally never forget the first time we talked!! i always looked up to you a lot and that was just so so special to me! (and also when that anon said they thought we were the same person. literally one of the highest compliments i have ever received 😭) i'm giving you evermore!! for a lot of reasons haha. your writing is absolutely amazing - you write scenes and characters and just EVERYTHING so well - and to me you have the steve harrington fanfic equivalent of evermore's amazing lyrical genius. also!! your writing also makes me SO emotional, no matter the genre or what's happening in the story, and i think that's another thing that evermore does amazingly and so do you!! <3

ava @lxvecakes - you are so absolutely lover. from your theme to your love of pink and the overall softness of your personality!! you have such amazing and sincere lover vibes, and you were absolutely the easiest person for me to choose an album for, honestly!! not only are you absolutely enamored with love and being in love, but you're also such a lover yourself and i think that's absolutely amazing and beautiful!! <3

anna @steddiesandwich - a little unrelated but i absolutely miss talking to and interacting with you!! i still see you on my dash on occasion but i do miss some of the little convos we used to have because they were so fun! if i chose an albm for you, i'd choose midnights! i feel as though your blog is very organized, but you also have such a wide variety of ships and characters from stranger things that is so refreshing to see, and it reminds me of the ways in which midnights is basically bits and pieces of all of her other albums, a gian variety that is tied together beautifully, and that so reminds me of you and your blog! <3

lo @noirgoths - lo!!! i adore you and talking to you so much, and you've been so kind and have been there for me so much in the past few months, and i am so so grateful for that! :) you're someone who's very honest and genuine, but you're also so so cool too!! you're very strong and independent in ways that i wish i could be, and that reminds me a lot of midnights and how the songs there are both very open and sincere and are also self-aware and uplifting at times!! <3

bee @sunflowerharrington - we haven't interacted in a while or very much, but i still look up to you a lot and wish we did talk a little more!! but no worries because honestly i'm a little shy lmao; anyway! from what i've seen of you and how we've interacted together, you remind me most of midnights as well! (sorry 😭 a lot of midnights album recipients in a row but it's simply my opinion :") ) you have a lot of the qualities that i identified with lo; unapologetic sincerity regarding yourself and who you are, etc, and i know that we don't talk that much so i could be totally wrong, and that's my bad if so! (also i hope this isn't awkward because i'm cursed with not knowing how to talk to people :") ) <3

brooke @circesstars - oh my gosh. you are SO so kind and considerate and helpful, and i'm so glad that you're always open to helping me with things when needed!! i love when we randomly talk late at night (lmao) and discuss the absolute most random things :) for that reason, and a few others, you most remind me of 1989! a lot of songs on 1989 are about friendship and how important being with friends is, and that along with your general vibes really reminds me of 1989! (i genuinely hae no idea how to describe the vibes thing, so my apologies lmao. you just very much remind me of moving/visiting new york with all your closest friends and having the time of your life while there :) ) <3

athena @puppy-coded - i'm so glad that we became mutuals a little while ago!! your energy and vibes are, as your url says lol, very puppy coded and i love that! you have such an energetic and fun vibe and i love it, and thus you remind me of 1989 in that way (that's totally different from brooke's 1989 vibes?? idk how my brain works, oops-) anyway :") <3

persephone @very-offkey-kazoo - i love love LOVE talking to you so much!! the little dad jokes everyday and just talking to you about anything in general - including, ofc, cat pics <3 - makes me so happy and i always love hearing from you each day!! i value your friendship so so much!! the album i'm giving you is speak now, which makes more sense to me personally than it probably will vibes or content wise. speak now is the taylor album that i largely associate with the best parts of my childhood, and even though we haven't been talking for this long, talking to you is so easy that it feels almost like i'm talking to someone i've known since i was that little :) maybe that's weird - idk :") - but!! that's the album that i most associate with you <3

OKAY i'm done!! as i said if i forgot anyone i am SOOO sorry, please let me know and i'd love to write you one!! <333

#em speaks #these are basically mutual love letters so i hope you like them!! and also ily all!!!! <3333 #asks #ally🌷

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dankovskaya · 10 months

Note

Hi sorry asking anonymously because I'm super embarrassed but how do you have conversations with people on this site? How do you interact with people?

Well okay I've had various different blogs on here over the years so I've done the whole "aggregating mutuals" thing from scratch multiple times and honestly it all just comes down to not being afraid to chat with people directly I think. The best thing to do is really just find blogs that have things in common with you and ideally are already kind of "chatty" (as in making personal/conversational text posts relatively frequently, writing thoughts and opinions in the tags of posts they reblog) and then...chatting with them. Reply to their posts in a friendly way or comment on their tags when you reblog the same post from them. You can also send them asks directly with a thought or question or compliment or something but that feels a little more pushy imo lmfao. Not inherently bad, it's just that I think most people who have been here for a while are used to getting random asks from strangers that are alarming or unpleasant so seeing a notification in your ask box can be foreboding 💀 And idk talking in replies/tags just feels more casual to me. Inside voice. An ask is kind of like someone coming up to you and sticking a microphone in your face and less like actually speaking to someone on equal terms.

There aren't hard rules or anything tho and if you're on here long enough you'll probably get used to um. The "etiquette." Which isn't even universal in the first place lmao. The only things I would avoid are like. Reblogging someone's post and commenting directly on the post itself unless you're already friends (very alarming. Who are you and why are you stealing my post.) and just generally acting overly familiar but that obviously goes for real life too. Don't expect most people to follow you back instantly either btw and it's not like an insult if they don't. It just depends on the person? Some people will see a blog with similar interests who seems normal and just follow back instantly regardless of whether you've ever spoken directly, and some people might wait until you've interacted with them a few times before they consider following back, and some people may just never follow you back if they're not interested in what you're posting. It's not about you personally 😭 And some people have a looooot of followers already and therefore a looooot of people trying to interact with them, and so you might just get lost in the crowd. Some people also have been here long enough and had enough bad experiences that they just never follow new people, or even block new people who try to follow them. Just remember none of it is personal 👍 They don't know you any more than you know them. Be normal and kind and you will survive 💖

#Sorry if this is excessively long these are just my observations about how the tumblr ecosystem tends to work #And really. Truly. It all comes down to putting yourself out there are talking to people respectfully.#Basically the same as real life.#I wouldn't directly message someone you aren't mutuals with like in the dms unless you can solve a problem #they're having or something along those lines btw Lmfao but maybe that's just me.#ask

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idyllic-affections · 7 months

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🌻 its cruel of anyone to push someone away from their own culture just cuz they dont fit the "standards" or whatever other shit 💔 ohhh u dont know the language— stfu first of all learning a language is hard. im bilingual and its hard for ME to learn any other language. i had german and spanish in school and i simply could not learn any of them and same goes for any other language i tried to learn on my own!! i learned nothing in the end even tho ive been learning english since first primary, meaning i already should have some experience in learning a new language. but i dont. and second of all no one should ever demand proof from anyone that they are a part of this culture or whatever like!!

it’s not only annoying but also fucked up that people have the sheer audacity to set stupid requirements for OTHER PEOPLE'S identity. one's identity can be so hard and sensitive of a topic and having someone try to police u in this matter, try to tell u that no sorry u dont know the language/culture so u cant call urself that— i genuinely have no respect for people who act like this

and third of all idk man if someone came to me and said "hi i want to learn more about poland and the culture because i have polish family" (because suurprise!! im polish too!!!!) id be more than happy to tell them everything i know. even if i might not be the best knowledge source AHAJSJDKDK they dont know polish? or anything abt poland?? they just learned their family is polish??? it simply doesnt matter this person wants to learn more about themselves and im more than happy to cheer on them and hope that theyll learn everything they want. and that theyll never feel excluded out of something they deserve to have place in

this got a little long but as u can tell i got very passionate about this topic 😭😭😭 it annoys me so hard how unhuman some people can be

SOO TRUE it's so invalidating ESPECIALLYYYYY when it's always other latino or hispanic people telling me. bro please. i am doing my best here 🙏🙏

i tried for years to learn spanish and it NEVER clicked in my brain. i know basic spanish and basic french (i had to take a foreign language class a few years back so i took french 1) that's it. Please. learning a language takes so much practice and patience and the issue with learning spanish is that my pronounciation will inherently be more "white" because erm. yeahh. english is the only language i've ever spoken fluently. and for some reason, there are many native spanish speakers think it's funny to make fun of mispronounciations? so now i'm scared to practice because of that. 🫶 it's not cute or funny and it's never been in intended an affectionate way. but i am also mentally ill and neurodivergent so that probably doesn't help AJKSFBJSLSHNFM idk man but it is NOT "all in good fun" it's EMBARRASSING!!!!!

IT'S GENUINELY SO FRUSTRATING why should i have to prove my ancestry to you? like. first of all that's really none of your business and second of all i literally do not have to prove anything?!?!?!?! no-one does?!?!?!?! no-one is somehow any less of their heritage simply because they don't know much about it. literally. it is so upsetting why can we not just let people live peacefully fr.

SOOO REALL i need to ask about it again because my maternal family is generally very open about this kind of thing, and it's easy to communicate with them because there is no language barrier between us. i would love to know more about myself. because my culture is something i deserve to have a part in, you know? it's literally in my blood. it is something i always was and always will be, and i feel like i have a right to want to learn about it.

nooo it's okay!!!! i completely get it. i feel like it's becoming very common for people to be less and less human. and it makes sense, given... you know. politics and everything lately. not to be political /lh but there is just a little too much hate being spread and i dislike that so much. many people have forgotten how to be kind and it's just???? very sad and upsetting.

#aphelion replies: 🌻 anon 🌸

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pashminalamb · 1 year

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that's a relief! the fact that you remember your anons makes me feel very warm and fuzzy 😭 happy that you think of me when you listen to chase atlantic 🫶 speaking of kaiser... that man was a literal menace during the previous bllk chapters omg i fucking hate him (holy shit i think i fell for him deeper 😞 my taste in personified red flags is extremely questionable) nonetheless, i'm looking forward to your next works!

really glad you've been faring well and your ao3 move is doing good. i get your point and i agree w/ it. tumblr's system is shit. some authors get like 700+ likes from posting a twt p0rn link?? i have nothing against them, if that's what some people prefer then so be it. but seeing the small authors who pump out actual high-quality content and not getting enough appreciation for it is saddening. in the first place i downloaded tumblr solely for the purpose of reading fanfics and poetry-related stuff. now all i see are twt p0rn links flooding my feed and that never ever fails to tick me off (come on man i just want to read some fics with good plots 😞). the main reason i haven't deleted this app yet is because of some authors i follow (including you), who actually work their asses off for their readers. that's something i highly appreciate. i'll admit—ao3 is better when it comes to giving smaller authors justice. at least you won't have pussyass anons coming after you in the most passive-aggressive way possible for no reason :D

i wish you the best of luck! ❤️

– 🌷

Apologies for responding to this late; I really like uncomfortable by chase atlantic and heaven and back is giving me some ideas... gonna start working on that when i'm done with this wip - Honey. I love like Aiku, he is literally the biggest red flag you can find in bllk (smh Idek why I fell for him - literally saw him and said yes.) I love him sm After reading his panels and guessing everything right about him, we're soulamtes my soulmate is actually Sae though... but we don't walk about that I'm waiting for the next chapter to drop so that i can see the loml 😭 Rant ahead so feel free to skip - Exactly the point. Like here's the thing about the author community on tumblr. I've usually stuck to my own blog cause of it - when you get buddy with some authors; it comes with its own set of problems cause when they get dragged into some kind of a discourse, everyone they've spoken to get dragged into it as well, even readers come up with some really crazy theories regarding content, similarities etc etc. It's one of the reasons that i'm not a very author to author interactive blog with just dropping in here and there. Not to mention that authors tend to stick to their own online circle and getting into one isn't as easy as it looks? They will judge you by the amount you have reblogged which shouldn't be the case tbh. And i don't reblog other author's works since i stopped reading things 2 years ago here and ever since I started writing ff i only checked the tags for seeing if my work turned up or not. Rather than preferring an author and author relationship, i prefer having one with my readers since they are the ones to hype my works up and send me good feedback. I feel really bad for small time authors on this platform cause authors who have dominated one fandom, entirely; are getting into smaller fandoms - and with their huge followings, they tend to take most of the space and fame compared to small time authors who have some really good quality content. Like was taking one or even two fandom/s not enough? But then its always the same story of "what's wrong with being a multi-fandom blog?" or "We're creating free/ quality content so what's the problem?" The discourse and the toxicity here is actually never ending, it's something that I've been noticing for four years now... and it was high time that i moved to ao3 cause here both authors and readers are toxic, cause authors are trying to keep readers down sometimes and readers... some of the them report your work even if it takes hours to create it. Not to mention that it even escalates to getting death threats which is another level of extremism cause of the lack of sensitivity that there's an actual breathing live person on the other side of the screen. Coming to the links that people attach to their posts and decide to post them, half the time I just think about the 15k notes from giving a visual from twitter that's not even their own content to begin with. Like yes, there are people who like erotica on the internet but in fandoms, its more of the literary work compared to a visual unless its drawn. and it makes me think how easy it was to make that and here you have some of us just... slogging it out or working hard on every line since it's more handmade compared to this. and what's weird is that authors seem to not pick up that queue and continue doing it. My opinion might seem harsh but it is what it is.

#belle.☏#.lost sheep : 🌷 anon

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flowerslut · 2 years

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Hi!!! Loved CotN (binged the whole series in 2 days), and had one question that's bugged me since: you mention that Jasper's *only* fears relate to Alice, and that's why Skye can't fully crack him until his fears become reality and he kills her. But what if he had never met Alice? Did he have no fears before her, or he did it's just that they were insignificant in the face of meeting Alice? What would've happened with Skye - would he have been easier or more difficult to crack? (sorry if sent 2x

TWO DAYS god that's so fast for how long it is 😭😭 thanks so much for reading it and I'm glad you loved it!

IMO even canon Jasper has a very... unique experience with all emotion but especially fear. for a vampire he hasn't lived too long; 160 years sounds like a long time, but there are vampires in the Twilight universe who are literal millennia old. when you 'grow up' (for lack of a better term) as part of the southern wars and that's your introduction into vampirism, you're sort of exposed to a lot of the brutal shit that gets glossed over in 95% of the Twilight saga. you aren't going to find yourself scared of too much when you're arguably one of the scariest things around.

even Edward, remarking at one point in Midnight Sun when they're rushing to the ballet studio says “As a man of peace, Jasper struggled. But as a man of war, he was more that I'd ever imagined.” because despite the circumstances—and I'm assuming, despite the potent fucking fear Edward was experiencing—Jasper was making it so that entire stolen car full of vampires was utterly fucking focused on their mission. (and if the focus was somewhat-inspired by a certain someone's excitement willingness to finally get to murder another vampire after so long, that's for Edward and Jasper to know, and for us to only just guess about 👀)

but of course your question is about CotN Jasper, so I'll try to stay on topic here. in order to understand that part I think I have to explain more about Skye and her ability. I go into it pretty decently in Walk in the Dark, but there are still some things I both left vague and haven't fully had the opportunity to go into more depth about. she has the passive part of her ability, where she can walk into a room and low-key clock everyone's fear in the vicinity without even really trying too hard. it's not like unlike Jasper's ability in a way and it has some similarities to Edward's too. she can't turn it off, but she can focus it.

get ready for some Skye lore bestie 😛

in Call of the Night we're introduced to Skye's ability because Alice can't see Jasper when he's "under". I've never fully explained what that means in detail I don't think (but if I have, and if that contradicts anything I'm about to say, forget about that: this is the Real Lore) but when a person is "under" her ability it means that she has full reign of a portion of their subconscious. whichever part that is in charge of fear; I don't know what part that is since I don't know jack shit about the actual mechanics of the brain, sorry about that. (edit: I googled it, and it's the amygdala apparently. fun!)

Skye's ability is a fully mental/psychic one. (which is why at the end of CotN, Bella is able to give Jasper a few vital hours of precious clarity immediately post-battle.) where Edward is able to hear people's thoughts like spoken words, Skye is able to see people's fears; it's not unlike how Alice can see people's futures. they play out for Skye like a fast-paced vision that goes through her mind in an instant where she can look across a room and think "oh wow that guy really is convinced his wife is going to cheat on him with her coworker huh?" or "plane crashes? really? how original". the only catch is that when she's focusing in on these people directly it doesn't go unnoticed. Alice remarks upon the strange but faint tingling sensation that occurs in chapter 10 of Walk in the Dark when Skye tries to quite literally scare her off by reciting to Alice what her selfish fears are.

but remember: this is the relatively harmless part of her ability. (harmless to others, at least.) Skye can also force you to fully live these fears that occupy space in your brain. whatever you're afraid of, whatever would scare you, whatever is something that would cause panic or anxiety, Skye can make your brain experience these the same way that she can 'see' those very fears play out when she's detecting them. it causes the victim to lose full control over themselves and they remain trapped in an endless loop of what are essentially nightmares.

Skye is a relatively new vampire. she's only been around for a few years. the ability of hers is something that she only barely knows how to control. we even see in a vision of Alice's where Maria is frustrated by Skye's inability to control Jasper the way she needs her to, and Skye remarks "That’s not how this works, you know that’s not how this works!" because Skye is using her ability the only way she knows how to, by cycling the victim through their nightmares as much as she can to create a sort of helpless comatose state. it puts them in a state that makes manipulation easy because they become so wrapped in this alternate-reality where they're so entrapped by these horrors that telling dream from reality becomes as hard as telling up from down. (I explore this slightly in a very spoiler-heavy CotN AU in which the final battle doesn't go well.)

and as the use of the active ability increases, and as the target becomes more accustomed to what they're experiencing, it makes things more and more... interesting for sure. (with enough exposure, Jasper was able to become the killing machine that he was by the climax of the story) I won't get too into this part of the lore, because it becomes a little spoilery for Friends with the Fire and I want to keep you guys still wondering a liiiiittle bit over the next couple of years 🤠

now, is losing Alice his only fear? not exactly. if we look back up at the point I made above, Jasper has been through some rough experiences. and by rough I mean that canonically by the Saga's standards Jasper was "undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind." in that scene in Twilight he even goes on to tell Bella that no matter where he was, whether it was with Maria or just living as a nomad, fear was a constant companion of his. he felt it from every person he fed on. in both the actual Twilight saga and the CotN one, Jasper has had to face fear in a way that others don't have to. because of this, he's able to be more objective about his own emotion.

does that mean he doesn't care about his fellow Protectors? no, not at all. but he isn't afraid of losing them since he knows how capable they are, as fighters and just as vampires maneuvering through their strange lifestyle. some of them have even faced Jasper in battle on opposite sides fighting in a way; Jasper isn't scared of them getting hurt or dying. it doesn't mean he doesn't want them in harms way or that he doesn't care, but he knows that being anxious over their safety is a little silly. (Esme is a notable exception to this, and we'll look more into that, again, in FwtF.)

but Alice is a curveball. she has existed in a constant state of fight or flight and has "chosen flight" her entire life in an attempt to avoid, what she considers, her inevitable demise. as Jasper gets to know Alice, and as Jasper learns that Alice's visions are real, and uncanny, and scarily accurate, Jasper starts to get uneasy. and when Jasper begins to develop feelings for her, that uneasiness transforms into horror at the idea of hurting her.

the reason that Skye was so set on using the "him killing Alice" thing to crack Jasper is because it's so goddamn prevalent in his mind, that it's quite literally the only thing she can find that she knows will provide Maria with any form of potential permanent results. and even then, Skye is just doing her best. this gift is new, her control is heavily practiced and trained, but it's only been a couple of years and she's doing everything she can to make it through to sunrise each day.

fear, as an emotion, is something that our brains have developed to protect us from danger. throughout the entirety of CotN, fear is Alice's biggest companion since it's her largest hurdle, but fear is also very prevalent in Jasper's life, too, since he's had to face all of his in order to continue living the life he does. I think they're interesting foils in CotN because of this little detail. Alice meets Jasper and has to face her fears for the first time in her life. Jasper meets Alice and quickly develops a real, concrete fear for the first time in decades.

Maria tasking Skye with "cracking" Jasper—the one person on the goddamn planet who knows how to maneuver around feeling a constant aura of horror and fear—for me feels like a university professor giving an advanced biochemistry exam to an average fifteen year old. there's no way in fucking hell she's going to pass that test. but Skye is a determined little devil and she's more clever than she gives herself credit for and she was going to do everything in and out of her power to figure something out. too bad for Maria that since Skye has to also go through Jasper's nightmares along with him as he does, she formed an attachment to him. but this attachment, no matter how fucked and wild, is the only thing that keeps Alice alive in the end.

TLDR;

if Skye had been tasked with trying to "crack" a Jasper who hadn't met Alice and fallen in love? she would have reported back to Maria that first day that it was a pointless endeavor and something that would take far, far longer than they had time for. (their next step likely would've been tracking down Peter/Charlotte as a backup and then killing all of the Protectors one by one. again, a nearly impossible feat is what it would have been. and even if it had been possible, it would've taken them years, assuming that the Volturi or another country wouldn't step in to help before then)

Jasper isn't fearless, but there isn't a fear he has that he hasn't faced head-on because of who he is and where he came from.

anyways, listen to my Skye-inspired playlist nightmare induction because it's chock full of bangers and I listened to it twice while replying to this message lmfao

#cotn #heavy spoilers my dudes #jalice fanfiction

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