i usually go through these periods where its like i have one constant string of panic attacks about death for like 2 weeks then back to normal but i think this time its different its really bad this time

i feel like the pilates video is also gross bc its trying to sell a product, like them saying theyre trying to "squash the stigma" while promoting a product, it feels insincere to me

I agree that it is all made worse because they're selling a product. They're not squashing stigma, they're pretending to squash stigma. They're spreading horrific misogyny for money. And Harry agreed to it.

Surviving in a Place Not Meant for Me

I wish I could bite the metal File my teeth down So people no longer flinch when I arrive Fangs gleaming I beg to sew my own mouth shut To let the threads make me tame And hide the wild That threatens to spill out I put on the collar that binds Turn a wild animal into a pet The feral into tame And hides what I’ve been made into I remove my vocal cords Silence myself And forget how to sing with the pack Suppress the blood that fights in my veins Nature and nurture Were always something I was Taught To overcome But how am I to overcome When they both reinforce the same lesson To take the hit From the hand that feeds I look away To hide the wild in my eyes The bright yellow not meant to be seen Rather than the warm amber they should be I beg the moon at night To release me from my wolfish state To hide the things in me That prevent me from consolidating into society The moon sits in silence Watching me pull the fangs out of my mouth I will ensure that they know I will never bite I will swallow my teeth for love

It's not fair the Tylenol is barely working this time around

Today at work, some kid tried to hug me and and my brain malfunctioned, so I just very awkwardly patted him on the head.

my top song for this year is going to be a toss up between camel by camel and the garfield show theme

From one bad voice chat into the next...

I couldn't pick just one

sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful

.

I need everyone to know that speedsters are allergic to nanobots.

No, seriously. They're allergic to nanobots.

Speedsters have absolutely insane metabolisms, which means that they have an absolutely insane immune system. They don't get sick. Ever. Their immune system works at warp speed and takes out germs the second they enter their body. Call germs 'the Rogues' because they're getting tackled by super speedy blurs before they can even think about causing issues.

Okay, so they have a great immune system and don't get sick ever. What does this have to do with nanobots?

Great question! When nanobots are injected into a speedster's body their immune system sees them as a threat. Only problem? It doesn't matter how fast or efficient their immune system is, their body can't destroy a bunch of tiny metal robots.

Because their bodies can't fight off the nanobots they start to display typical cold/flu symptoms instead. Vomiting, fever, runny nose, coughing, being tired, ect. The nanobots aren't causing this reaction. Their own immune system causes this reaction. The fever is the bodies attempt to kill off the 'germs'. The vomiting, runny nose and coughing is the body's attempt to expel the 'germs'. They feel tired because their body is putting everything into fighting off the 'infection'.

In a normal person the nanobots wouldn't even be an issue because they'd be able to avoid detection. They can't avoid detection in a speedster body because their immune systems are dialled up to 500 out of 10.

As a result you get instances like this:

(Inertia had injected Bart with nanobots and Bart had a reaction)

Just an FYI for people because this is extremely fun and versatile information. Especially because none of the speedsters are really aware of this and it doesn't kick in right away. I could totally see a situation where a mission requires nanobot injections and mid mission the speedster goes down out of nowhere. It's also great if you want to do a stereotypical sick fic or something and want to get around that pesky speedster immunity.

Anyway, it's fun information so I thought I'd share

Whooooo could have predicted this?

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The more I learn about Civil War politics, the more I'm convinced that Lincoln's most impressive and useful leadership trait was that he never let his pride get in the way of doing his job.

Other people in Lincoln's position would have come to Washington with something to prove. They'd have resented the insults and tried to disprove them. They'd have tried to seize power and credit, rejected help, spent a lot of time trying to reach a certain level of respect.

Lincoln's response to, "You're just a backwoods lawyer with no executive experience who makes too many dumb jokes," was pretty much always, "Yeah. And?" He had no interest in petty personal power plays. He had a country to run. There was a war on. It didn't matter what people thought of him so long as the job got done.

He was aware of his personal shortcomings and was always willing to accept advice and help from people who had more knowledge and experience in certain areas. He presided over a chaotic Cabinet full of abrasive personalities who thought they were better and smarter than him, but he kept working with them because they could get the job done. For example: Stanton was absolutely horrible to him when they were both working as lawyers. Just incredibly mean on a personal level. But when Lincoln needed someone to replace Cameron, he swallowed his pride and appointed Stanton as Secretary of War, where Stanton proceeded to be mean to everyone in the world, but he whipped that department into shape and kept it running efficiently through a very chaotic war. Pretty much no one except Lincoln would have been able to put up with that. He could put up with people who were personally difficult if they could do the job he needed them to do--which he was only able to do because his own ego didn't get in the way.

Lincoln's example is a prime demonstration of how humility isn't underrating yourself--it's being so secure in your own abilities and identity that you don't need to attack anyone or defend yourself to prove your worth. He knew his shortcomings, but he also knew his strengths. He was willing to give other people credit for successes and take blame upon himself for failures if it kept things running smoothly. He was secure enough in his own power that he could deal generously--but firmly--with people who tried to undermine him. In a city full of huge egos, in a profession that rewards puffed-up pride, that levelheaded humility is an extremely rare trait--which is what made it so impressive and effective.

Malleyuu meta ramblings

Day three of Book 7 and I still couldn't believe how far Malleus would "subtly" push to ship himself with the player like damn they always find a way to imply a soulmate narrative with him.

I've never seen aggressive teasing to this extent tbh. Refusing to outright say he's their main love interest (and to an extent the only love interest) but liberally seasoning his entire character with flirtatious lines and suggestive choice of actions and an unbelievable romantically-driven background... I'm speechless tbh. And if the crazy theories about his dad and his relation to Grim are true, they're also gunning hard to plant him as both the center of the world and forging a strong inexplicable connection between him and the player.

thinking about guillermo lying in his bed, hugging the nandor doll hoping he is okay vs nandor cradling guillermo's sweater, worried he will never see him again