#i don’t know where the fuck to put my tua posts at this point so i’ll post it here and then rb it to my other blogs. Whatever
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my favorite severely traumatized 58 year old 13 year old
#tua#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#number five#umbrella academy#CLICK FOR QUALITY#blood tw#ok tags over. Rambling incoming#i don’t usually digitally paint so i tried it this time Enjoy !#this ended up looking kind of like a tim burton character which was unexpected but welcome. kinda interesting to me ….#i don’t know where the fuck to put my tua posts at this point so i’ll post it here and then rb it to my other blogs. Whatever#olive art
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Malevolent fic - Big Fat Taco
They had reached the terminus, enemies on the plateform and on their tail. His aim cannot be trusted and his eyes stutter at mirages. So down, down, down it goes.
I just think that if you won’t dig into a guy with your bare hands for your apocalypse rock, you don’t deserve it. ;) The idea would't leave me and so here is the result of four intense days of writing before the season four finale comes out later today(well tomorrow in my case). Hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did putting it together!
Warnings: Canon typical violence, gore, non consensual platonic touching, major character death and choking.
Cross posted on AO3
“ I… I think we’ve built enough distance between us and them… Care to explain what I’m supposed to do with this rock now”, panted Arthur leaning against the wall absolutely lost. The faster they got rid of it, the sooner they could leave this blasted place. Because of course Noel had to find out at the worst possible time about John’s past. Of course they lost the bloody gun while escaping the detective and the cultists. Of course Larson found out where Oscar was the same way he did for Daniel and-
“ -thur! Arthur! What is the point of me explaining if you don’t fucking listen? We are going to open a portal. Just like how we dealt with Scratch.”
“ … That’s it," laughed Arthur weakly, "the grand end to the order of the fallen star comes down to throwing a rock into whatever hell we find. Then we hope whatever’s on the other side can’t use it? What if we unleash whatever power is inside the Black Stone? Exactly just like what happened with Scratch!”
“I don’t hear YOU coming up with any ideas! We still need to escape this place and k- clearly many cultists so we might as well… jump in?”
“Jesus fucking christ, John... I didn’t miss taking very literal leaps of faith into the unknown with you.”
“Likewise but with our luck it was a matter of time.”
“Indeed it was. Shame we don’t have the pages but I assume you wouldn’t propose this if you didn’t remember. Am I right, John?”
“Of course I do! Now let me focus… Sed obscuratus nox quaeso mundenetis…”
“Sed obscuratus nox quaeso mundenetis…”
“Impertus meter amicum allundem num.”
“Impertus meter amicum allundem num.”
“Depli mon faenis de tua quae… quae frequens? No. Frenusculi ? No it wasn’t that either !”
“John! I thought you said you knew the incantation!”
“YES I KNOW IT! Damnit Arthur, you say that as if you don’t forget to keep our eyes open for me every day!”
“Fine! Fine! For both our sakes think quickly!” And yet as he retorted back, Arthur began to calculate their odds. From past experiences those bouts of amnesia seemed temporary so they could still manage to open the portal. However with the delay and more people seeing where the stone went, just a throw would not work. Would the cultists even hesitate at the idea of entering the portal? If those madmen didn’t, they would have to fight for every second. Okay so they needed protection or at least something to keep their opponents at bay.
Tuning out John’s frustrated cusses at the Latin language itself, he patted their bag and pockets. Starting a fire was a last resort and could wait until they had an actual escape window. The bestiary wouldn’t be of help against humans. That left them with their unlucky dagger, regardless of John’s insistence to get rid of it. The weapon wouldn’t win against a gun or more than two cultists. But it was their also very last resort… Should they lose it in the scuffle or…
What if Arthur missed again? It wouldn't be the first time his shoddy aim betrayed them when it mattered the most. They would not have another chance to get the stone and he doubted John would accept retreat after dragging them all the way to New York for it. The moment they lost sight, ha, of the rock was the moment Larson won. They needed a hiding place or at least somewhere the cultists would not think to look into…
“Oh. John no matter what continue trying to remember the spell. I just found the smartest way to get the black stone into the portal! Trust me!”
“- tua quae frenae! FRENAE! It was frenae! Wait... What do you mean smartest?” His friend asked cautiously but he didn’t have enough time to react as Arthur grabbed the rock from their pocket and shoved it down their throat.
Neither John or Arthur’s body were keen on the plan. The Black Stone burnt as he could feel it move past his throat into his… veins? Evidently the cursed object didn’t care for human biology and would go wherever it pleased. If he could just… nudge it towards… THERE!
“Arthur, are you out of your goddamn mind?! Spit it out! Come on!”
“ We’re fine… absolutely fine! Now,” just as he said that a tremor shook their spine and it took all their combined focus to not fall face first, “NOW we don’t have to worry about cultists with deft hands.”
“Do you really think given how we first met him he would stop at taking your life to get his hands on the Black Stone?” His partner growled, and yet beneath it worry laced into his every word.
“Larson? He did hurt many people but it was always through others. Like the butcher or the creature in the mines.” He retorted, confused and wondering not for the first time who scared his friend more than the King or their current enemies.
“Of course! Who else would be after us? This building is crawling, I mean, full of cultists. Surely this kind of... miscreants would have no issue going through us for this artifact.”
“Miscreants… Really, John? Anyway it doesn’t matter!” One more time. If Arthur could ignore the elephant in the room between them one more time, they would actually be fine.
They did not even finish the first sentence of the spell before a shot rang out and a sharp pain took over their right leg. Head and knee promptly were introduced with the wall that would have housed their gate. Shame Larson didn’t account for the headache or John’s yelling before starting to gloat. Another spasm coursed through as he tried to turn around. Its tango with their new wound left the duo a heap of limbs on the floor. Hopefully the view was still better than the wall. The heat that had been building behind their eyes flared and Arthur bit down hard to keep them open, inhaling sharply.
“Well it seems whatever tricks you had in mind backfired in more ways than one. Arthur, did you truly think you waltz your way into my domain unscathed?”
“Oh, yeah! Definitely! But maybe you never went back to Addison? I could always give you a refresher.” He could stall. Get the dagger out, have John could carve the incantation and smear it with blood. Surely they could skip the spoken part that way. Just needed to create a blind spot for them.
Evidently however, unlike Arthur, Larson did see the move coming and stomped on the left half of it. Ignoring his partner’s shouts, he awkwardly flipped on his side. Holding on tight to Larson’s ankle, he sliced at the heel. Shoddy aim and his body complaining every step of the way didn’t leave a deep enough wound. Regardless it was enough for the prick to retreat out of range. Maybe the floor was okay for now as their two functional limbs were split fifty-fifty. Well if you didn’t count the shoulder on the same side getting shot the day before. Speaking of bullets, another lodged itself into the carpet right by his ear as he jolted at the noise and ringing that followed.
“You appear to be the one in need of a reminder of the current situation apparently. Now stop staring at the barrel and tell me where the Black Stone is?”
“For once luck is on our side: Larson didn’t witness your crowning act of idiocy. Keep. Him. Talking! Every bullet in the floor is a bullet that isn’t in our body.”
“Now that’s a bit of a wild guess! Why would little old me have any idea… what that is? I figured I could crash whatever party you had in town, as you know, a payback. It has been… quite a busy week.” Arthur laced that last sentence with all the venom which had piled up over the last few days. It hadn’t even been a full fortnight since the Dreamlands for fuck’s sake.
“Your strange habit of pausing at odd times remains, how queer”, pondered Larson while his enemy attempted to stand again, less graceful about it than a fish on dry land, “I assume you do not need further help emptying your pockets.”
“Listen. Why don’t I smash your head in? Shot you. Step on your hand. THEN you can see how easy it is to focus.”
“I’m afraid I’ll pass the offer…. what is all THIS junk?” Larson asked in disdain as Arthur tried to open the bag with one hand only for the contents to spill out. Fantastic! Turns out he had been holding it upside down!
“The glass, the stone, the mask, the books, the tooth, the coin, the wallet and hooks, the kit of course to help him shave are all in Arthur's bag today. But don’t forget the dagger, the flute, the keys and the lighter that keeps the darkness at bay.” The familiarity of matching a series of notes calmed him down just a little. It didn’t matter that the source of that particular song had been fresh out of a bloodbath.
“What the hell is wrong with you?! Shooting the lock and letting that creature at the crowd to get the stone was genius compared to this. And why did you have to bring him up? Wait- there’s someone coming up around the corner!
“… No matter. Unlike you, I have all night, my wits about me and only friends here.”
“Don’t be so sure about that.”
“Arthur, it’s Noel! He managed to get past our distraction and is holding Larson at gun point. His shoulder seems to be injured. His sleeves are torn with large dents matching the claws of that thing. If we could somehow turn them against each other, there may enough time to run. Or at least get the portal open.”
“Are you sure about this, detective? It would be poor etiquette as Arthur’s plus-one to have him killed.” Replied Larson as if this entire ordeal was nothing more than an argument at the local pub.
“That won’t be a problem. The plan isn’t to arrest him. Dreadful accidents happened with that many candles in smaller establishments. At the same time, testimonies of assault on the treasurer of another sect, maiming and murder have been connected to him.”
Of course John decided that was the right moment to needle his partner about the decision to give his name to the secretary. As if they had anyone else beside Daniel to be introduced to the freemasons. Surely Oscar or his father would vouch for Arthur’s character… at least for some of these accusations. Not that it would amount to much if they didn’t make it out alive. Still he feared being wanted in a big city would make it harder for him to move around the States or to leave them.
“Cults like these prey on people facing hard times and get them to commit atrocities in the name of some big guy above or below. Nobody wants to believe their parent, friend or tenant would choose to be involved in shady stuff. If they can’t look at the evidence, they can bother some PI looking to make ends meet this month.” Noel finished, exhaustion slipping into that last sentence. No doubt the detective had to explain cases like these to clients both in Arkham as a private investigator then as a policeman in New York.
“That’s quite the story you wrote there! Have you ever considered becoming a playwright? Addison may not be a high production stage but you’ll have a captivated crowd and the support of a patron of the arts.” Larson drawled while he slowly drew his gun away from the thief. Although one didn’t need sight to guess he wasn’t about it.
“No thanks. I dealt with enough theater obsessed lemon suckers a few years ago. Then again this crony here is the reason I’m here tonight. Take out those cartridges and kick the weapon away… Jesus, my grandmother would have done better than that.”
“And Wallace is old enough to have met her in her heyday. He just had to throw his daughter at the monsters for that privelege! Clearly he’s the biggest threat here, Charlie. Everything you see at my feet is what I had on me tonight. There is no stupid rock!”
“Oh please, we all saw you leave with it! Would you quit acting like you care about the wellbeing of children anymore than respecting the divine or your elders. If that were true, she would still be here. Your precious little Fa-”
Arthur wasn’t about to let him finish. Compared to the Butcher or the ghoul, Larson was a lightweight. They didn’t need a knife. He would choke the life out of the piece of shit, one-handed if he had to. The monster didn’t get to speak her name.
Someone grabbed for his collar and yanked. He trashed hoping to grab onto his first opponent for stability. Unfortunately their body was acquainted yet again with wall, this time shoulder firsts. The shock didn’t have time to settle in before a punch in the gut had him hitting bedrock.
“Jesus fucking Christ… Do not call me that ever again. As if his highness would tell some guy his grand plan. He stole that name, that voice and is now using it to drag you around wherever he likes. This thing isn’t your friend.”
“You know nothing! You humans act so high and mighty pretending kindness is inherent to living from the very moment of your birth. Care to guess what happened at mine? I was shoved into a hell worse than you could possibly imagine where neither time nor death has meaning. So yes! More often than not I lie rather than put my trust into people who have earnt it. I go for the throat when I feel even a little cornered. Everyone here has done that so stop fucking pretending any of you are gentle souls!” John’s truth burnt and yet his head felt clearer than it had since swallowing that rock. In the trail of that shooting star, Arthur just had to speak it all out loud for the rest of the world to hear. “Besides I can’t even get him to walk into a movie theater and sit still for fifty minutes.”
Nobody else said anything for a long while. Arthur could feel the fever chewing at his brain as they both caught their breaths from having pushed too far their limits. In the rare moment of quiet, he took notice of something familiar. Back with Parker, they had to look inside a freezer for clues and for lack of adequate clothing got forced to take turns. The cold current from back then it crawled the exact same way in the gap between his socks and his pants at his ankles. Out of damning curiosity he reached out and-
“Oops, thank you, totally missed by cue there. You gotta understand, detectives! I was so captivated by all those twists, turns and delightful noises, I got… distracted Man, I am going to miss not knowing the plot ahead of time. With that said, great surprise party everyone!”
“… it’s him”, John all the bravery snuffed out like a candle, “he’s squatting on our left, barefoot like back in the dreamlands. Ah. He’s what happened to our distraction. I can see its iridescent blood shining eerily against the black of his suit. In his hand there is a very large flat bread folded in two. There is so much garniture; you could not it around without half of the ingredients falling off. No it’s more than that. The sauce, a few drops hang by a thread as if they won’t fall unless he wills it.”
“Damn. Someone get an oxygen mask! This guy just wrote a spiel about a big fat taco.”
Without thinking Arthur flung himself in the opposite direction and despite the pain crawled as fast and as far as he could. Suddenly his brain connected the dots on the topic and person John had been avoiding to speak of this past week. Of fucking course it had to be that guy! He rasped out every word of the incantation he could remember, hoping John would follow suit. Unfortunately for them that distance didn’t mean very much I practice as clearly Kayne had no issue reeling them back so close he could feel the entity’s breath on his neck.
“Fuck, I’m sorry Arthur! Don’t say more, I- I can get us out of this!”
“Aww, you didn’t have to wrap up my present like that! At this point it’s not just pretty paper and a bow… I can’t simply tear it up with how much love was put into this.” Singsonged the devil flicking back and forth his prey’s damaged earlobe.
Okay that was way too much: the uncomfortable heat beneath his skin and in his head, John’s apologies as he tried to grab their captor’s attention, the strange texture of the definitely non-human hands. He needed out now!
“How does it feel to be New York’s most wanted catch? You got quite a number hooked, ha! Hooked, get it? It’s the only reason you’re still alive after all!” Kayne asked flipping their body to so the three were face to face, one arm wrapped around their waist and the other holding their chin. Arthur bit down on the ‘hand’.
Everything went white as a chorus of complaints and cheers flooded his ears. Slowly he could make out Parker’s voice questioning his partner’s sanity in taking on that eating competition even with that big of a price at stake. Distant and muffled as if coming from under water or maybe he was the one below the surface. His suit must have been an absolute mess if his loudest detractor was to be believed. Thick black ink, blood or possibly both, dripped heavily and slowly like licorice down his jaw onto the shaky floor of the caboose. The fresh liquid cooled his brain boiled by the black sun. Broken skin was good. Broken skin meant he could break this down one bite at a time. Experimentally he twisted the flesh beneath his teeth and pulled. Yet the other end refused to snap clean. Instead it extended like cheese on pizza. Instinctively he opened his mouth and attempted catch the falling strings with his teeth.
“I know I’m the most special treat but I’m afraid I need your head not twenty leagues in the gutter.” Finger snapped and his jaws snapped down on empty air. His mind flailed around for the right frequency to reconnect with his senses.
“Let’s make a new deal! No stone as long as you don’t let us go. Or I-I take it with Arthur to the Dark World!” John’s weak bargain and threat was met with derisive laughter.
“Now why would I ask for something I already hold in my own hands? No, no, no! I’m going to enjoy this all-in-one King’s cake, hot and cold, treasure hunt. This time you can even call a friend instead the usual back-seaters. Much faster and less chances of cheating if you ask me!” The devil muttered something about being forced to write a C option to A or B conundrum. “Though really I guess it’s fifty-fifty: the other day there was that guy. I knew him from head to toe. Not you two. I see other people. Like I said! Every line of his silly little life! Urgh middle school production level, at best. And still! Still he managed to surprise me!”
Two hands clapped together as if to put a close to that intermission. The next moment Arthur was back on the floor and he didn’t like how his brain almost let out a sigh of relief at that sensation. The less was said, the less fun Kayne would have. Bar was low, even for them, but so was the ground. The devil said something about first tries removing obvious options before driving a hand into their stomach. Arthur shouted, violent shivers rocking his spine as their body fought vainly to twist out of the way on pure reflex. Unfortunately their digestive tract refused to admit defeat and heaved to expel the unknown intruder back up his throat. Shame malevolent entities didn’t care for the laws of physics and thus he was left coughing bile. Some of which came straight back down his throat.
“Now that the dud is out of the way, am I warm or icy?”
“Fuck you!” Arthur spat out.
“Uh… Cold?”
“Well fuck you too, John!”
“Do you think I’m happy about this?! I was the one sewing this shit back up while you took a bloody nap!” His partner snapped, spewing the vitriol at Arthur since he was too afraid to do the same towards Kayne. Sensing aggression would only have his partner push back, John tried to put himself down as the reasonable one. Hilarious if you asked Arthur given they had left sanity back at his office in Arkham. “Shut up and tell me where the stone is. Please!”
“Not three hours ago we walked into this… rat hole because YOU said we couldn’t leave a bloody rock into their hands! Now you’re telling me! That the doomsday device of the week would … Christ… safe in Kayne’s hands?”
“Artie, you’re such a worrier! No truly. Think of it as, hmmm, the battery of Mister Universe’s alarm clock. The grey part is sort of its casing and I like to picture the red one as a fog horn. Really the world popping out of existence is not even part of the equation. I mean do YOU think about all the bugs crushed setting up picnics? Of course you don’t! Hahaha that would be stupid, am I right? Anyyyway it’s time for take two, gentlemen and entities!”
Take two in fact involved exploring his intestines and accidentally popping their appendix like a cherry. Of course the only apology he got was a ‘whoospie-daisy’ and a quip about John being lucky the book didn’t land him there. “I mean what would have happened at the first argument? Sending the guy straight to the hospital cause you exploded on him?! … actually that would be funny to see I should check before waking Daddy up.” Arthur still tried to slap or push back Kayne’s hands. Totally useless of course but it was better than licking boots the way John did. Especially when the devil clearly wasn’t interested in bargaining. He would like to not be the reason the world ended, thank you very much. The third strike at their lungs yielded as many complaints and yet the stone remained missing. While Arthur could still feel Kayne was merely playing, he wasn’t sure how much longer that would last.
“Your train friend – what did he call himself again, the butcher – wasn’t wrong you know? About the music analogies! It’s all about hitting the right keys. A bit of tuning might be needed with how battered this body is though. Hopefully I won’t have to hit the entire board to find my gift. I really, truly, deeply”, and with each word pressing his fingers right into the still fresh bullet wound, “would hate for it to be lost in all the wrapping!”
“Maybe… you’re just… bad at looking…” Wheezed Arthur inbetween coughs. Even as they remained on the floor he was struggling to stay afloat. Their boiling head had apparently decided to keep all the heat for itself instead of sharing. It left him both shivering and sweating bullets enough to turn Larson into swiss cheese had they been actual ammunition.
“Actually you’re right… It is time to call a friend! Let’s get to it, we have candidate number one: Wallace Larson from the quaint little town of Addison, here to retrieve the sacred artifact for the Order of –what was it again – the shooting star? Who cares! And candidate number two, Arthur’s plus-one-turned-nemesis, detective Noel from the New York Police Department! Who will take a shot at retrieving the Black Stone and earn the ultimate mystery price?! I for one cannot wait to find out!” The devil announced loudly before finishing in a false hushed tone. “Candidate number three having yet to manifest himself shall remain anonymous… for now.”
“Absolutely not! I’m not putting my hands in that!” Shouted Larson as if the very scenario was a personal offense to his character. There was a long pause until he threw a retort at… someone? John had said there were only three people in this corridor aside from them both…
“Oh I’ll take a shot, alright.” Noel’s voice derailed his theory that he was the universe’s chew toy tonight in particular. Then Arthur heard several rounds attempt to drown out Kayne’s rising laughter.
“Noooooo! What could poor little old me do against… human ingenuity. And so I die… To our hero’s quick draw and wit! ARGh!” A confused John told his partner about the performance as the devil had dropped to his knees, grasping his torso in overly exaggerated agony then met face first with the floor.
Athur felt it before it happened: the change of pressure in the air, how they were leaving the eye of storm and about to meet the worst of it. He just needed to do one thing right tonight, just one little thing! Turn what little energy he has left past his throat into a shout to run, to live, to save Noel.
“SURPRISE!”
He startled as several party poppers and blowers went off. Blood spattered everywhere. Propping himself self up for that warning proved to have been a mistake as projectiles collided with their chest. Some small and hard but others squishy and much more wet. He went back down with hiss, head swimming as his mind slipped
Down,
Down,
Down.
“Fuck. FUCK! Noel! His head! It exploded! It’s all over the floor. Kayne… he… popped out of Noel’s neck. His old body has melted into the carpet. It has left a deep black imprint, the edges fizzling but not catching fire. Larson is throwing up beside the left wall. It’s not just the blood... I can identify… parts. An entire eye landed into our chest earlier! It rolled by our side now. There are also a few teeth lodged into our right shoulder. What I thought were confetti in the air were actually fragments of skin. I’m sorry Arthur. I don’t know… I don’t know how to salvage this.”
No trip to England. No letter to Marie. No night at the movie theater. John’s misshaped hand clutched their chest. Their heart was still beating. It didn’t care for gods, grief or pain. It just was.
“What a blast, am I right?! One down, two to go. UNLESS! Our main attraction wishes to open up at last. The hand you were dealt with was pretty bad but you pulled through! Atta boys! Who cares about the finish line? It’s all about the journeyyyyy! So come on, there’s no need to be a sore loser.”
They couldn’t win. Not by a country mile. But..
It didn’t mean Kayne had to.
“Well, they can’t say I didn’t try. But guess what! It seems the final guest sorted himself out as well… Everyone welcome the prince in rags! The phony few had the patience for! The bastard thrown aside as the once and future king made his return! Our mystery candidate number three! Go on, banana peel. Introduce yourself.”
“I- in yellow.”
“Pretty sure even us folk in the front didn’t catch that. Try again your majesty. Put your whole belly into it!”
“I AM THE KING IN YELLOW!”
“Noooow that wasn’t so hard, was it? One could almost believe all the shaking is from a royal tantrum! Penny for your thoughts on the whereabouts of my lucky charm?”
“Carmichael! Bet me on me!”
“Huh. Kinda already am to be honest… But no. That’s not what you want.”
“If I retrieve the Black Stone, I… can keep the rest of him.”
“NO! Kayne, our deal isn’t broken!” Yelled John desperately trying to lift them both up and prove they were still in the game. “Arthur, please! Just tell him! I can’t- I can’t lose you again.”
“Should have thought about that earlier, turncoat! Regardless this tortilla’s got it baaaaad. Never thought you’d want all thorns English Rose back after what he did to you.”
“I want to win.”
“Oh please! You want him back! Hmmm the irony of YOU coming on top… YES that’s it! Okay! Okay. We’re all ears.”
There was a brief silence as Yellow took a deep calming breath. John whispered at Arthur pleading, promising that a fake wouldn’t have pulled him back from the brink in Addison. At the end of his rope his partner brought her up. Somehow not even that worked. Arthur’s thoughts only concerned the monster just a few feet away. One born out of his grief, his misguided love, his bad temper, his selfishness.
“Arthur has the stone inside him,” and immediately the devil cut in with a sarcastic comment but Yellow continued on, “if you searched the lungs then fingers or toes must be valid options as well. No, limbs are easy to separate from the rest. Too big a risk…”
“That it would. I’m so sorry John! The portal closed on us and your arm with the stone is on the other side! Now that would be anticlimactic.”
“John doesn’t know, the entire time he didn’t fight back against you. That leaves out the left foot. As well as his forearm and…”
Strangely Arthur felt a twinge of pride as Yellow broke down his thought process the way an investigator would. He admitted it was a bit self-centered to assume the entity got it from him in their short time together. Maybe at the end he wanted at least one person to understand his choice, the logic behind it.
The gap between the three of them was closed in seconds. A cool sensation spread across his forehead and desperate for the contact to last he leaned deeper and deeper. Ocean waves scratched at his skin as the seagulls laughed and laughed. Taking turns they dug in. The waters trashed around pulling Arthur under. The birds didn’t care and followed after, their cries now clamored for their prey to stop wriggling around. The best lock in the world would not keep Davy Jones’ loot safe for long against someone with both the right tools and determination.
The moment the foreign fingers scratched against their prize, a flash of lucidity cut through. Arthur curled around the stone so tightly he no longer knew where it ended or where he began. Hooks dug into his soul, prying him closer and closer to the surface. Gold strings fiercely yanked him back towards the abyss. Then as a last resort stitched themselves hastily into the searing patchwork.
“Ding, ding, ding! And we have a winner!”
The slap on his back had Yellow hunching forward, closer to the hands cupping the Black Stone. It throbbed in unison with his own body. Every shadow, every color glistened in a blinding contrast. The very same way Addison had looked that morning after the clouds had parted, leaving only clear skies and the brilliant snow. His heavy breaths were woven into brush strokes painting this vista, one last gift to Arthur before this entity swallowed the entire world. Then he fixed his gaze onto Kayne holding the rock out, waiting for the devil to keep his end of the deal. Everything went sideways and Yellow landed on his ass. It was disorienting as fuck but he felt more at home than he ever did inside Larson’s head. He grazed his fingers across the new scars he was not present for with slight irritation. No matter he would demand the stories later. None seemed to compare to the three from the boat anyway. Wait the boat-
“I give you a ten out of ten. Stellar work truly! So here’s the tip: you remember everything. Honestly I didn’t expect you to be that useful after driving Artie to the brink. Fascinating really how the carrot he had no trouble following after all this time disgusted him when I served it grated. Since he was so difficult I switched to a slightly different brand and you’ll never guess what… He swallowed it hook, line and sinker! Convinced I had indulged his whimsies. It was hilarious!”
His stomach sank as his memories clicked back into place: the office, the hospital, the city under the hotel, the pits, Lily and the sight of Arthur’s dying body falling out of his reach while the King laughed at his naivety. What had followed despite Kayne’s meddling was their own handiwork. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise considering their argument in front of his mural. The bigger threat was never the creatures they encountered down the line but their own stubbornness.
The stone’s power rose into a crescendo sending shivers down his spine. The corridor twisted from the tension it wasn’t made to withstand. No, even had they been out in the open the artifact would have bent the world in the same way. Slowly his ears began to parse out the melody underneath: a wail accompanied by a piano and the sound of rushing water.
“Oh darling, thar tickles! Looks like Daddy’s clock will have a vibrate option, truly a testimony of human progress don’t you think? Huh. Don’t stare at me like I drowned your goldfish. It’s not MY fault you didn’t account for stowaways before handing it over! Anyway time’s up. Farewell Jonagold!”
He didn’t care about the difference between them, the purpose of the stone or how this was the consequences of everyone’s choices. No one took what was his! Not even the Crawling Chaos itself!
The reason he failed and grasped nothing but empty air was ironic: the pathetic leftover vessel who had refused to get his hands dirty.
How stupid! How shocking! How splendid! His roar of laughter bounced off the walls of the blood-stained corridor. It was a stage equal to the basement of 58 Pelican Lane. However he still had to make his own debut.
The malevolent entity wrapped his hands around the man’s throat
and
squeezed.
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never mind about the shape I'm in, I'll keep you safe
(alternative title: Klaus just loves his baby sister send tweet)
Summary: After getting bested by their umpteenth threat to the world's continued existence, the siblings not only get scattered across the city, but their powers scattered amongst them. After waking up without his powers, a clue which of his siblings' powers he did have, or where his siblings actually were, Klaus starts looking for them... only to see possibly the most heartbreaking sight he could have imagined: Vanya, obviously burdened with his powers of seeing and hearing the dead... in a cemetery.
Words: 3.8k
Pairings: PLATONIC Klaus & Vanya (and some platonic Klaus & Allison near the end)
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort. Sensory overload/panic attack. Discussion of seeing/hearing ghosts. Mentions of death, drugs, and Reginald's abuse (The Mausoleum). One mention of insanity (klaus being worried his powers might drive vanya insane).
A/N: This is my first tua oneshot! I've been working on it since Friday because... well... the idea wouldn't leave me alone until I got it out in a fic. I actually did it instead of finally finishing s2, so... it might be a bit ooc? But I hope you like it! Title from "S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W by MCR. Based on the second addition of this post of mine. <3
---
Well, Klaus thought, isn’t this just swell?
“Swell” was probably, by far, one of the most inaccurate ways to describe this debacle that he could come up with. Just earlier that afternoon - Oh, what a nice afternoon it had been! - he and his siblings were dealing with some threat. Maybe it was more nefariousness from the Commission, maybe they were preventing the apocalypse of the week. Who knew? Who kept track, anyway, of the fires they’d been putting out?
(Well, Five probably did. But that wasn’t the point.)
But it just so happened that this fire they’d been putting out had been able to best them and scatter them across the city. What’s more, this fire wasn’t an ordinary fire, but one like themselves, or that chameleon-esque one from the 60s. Maybe that fire had intended to erase or absorb their powers, and the act had been botched, or this was their intent all along. It didn’t matter, really; all that mattered was that this fire managed to give his and his siblings’ powers a whole switcheroo before scattering them.
(Alright, metaphors aside, it wasn’t a fire. It was a villain.)
Klaus’ only reassurance that their powers hadn’t been erased entirely (or taken by the villain for themself) was that, after they’d sent a blast out at him and all of his siblings, leaving the six positively reeling, Klaus had seen a very confused Luther start “blipping” everywhere, ala Five’s teleportation, before they’d all been scattered. Oddly enough, he’d been grateful for seeing that; if Luther had Five’s powers, it stood to reason that each of them had the power of another sibling instead of their own… right?
Well, it was what Klaus was going with.
But when he came to without any of his siblings around, a clue where they were, or that power-swapper in sight, he decided against trying to figure out which of their powers had been thrown at him. He may not have been the smartest of the bunch (that was either Five or Allison, really. Probably Allison. Yeah, it was Allison.), but even he knew it would have probably been a bad idea to see if he could control things’ directions like Diego, or rumor things into existence (or nonexistence) like Allison, or make use of Luther’s super strength.
And he could only imagine the catastrophe that might come about if he tried to use Vanya’s powers. The only one who knew how to best handle them was Vanya herself. And even she wasn’t exactly well-acquainted with them!
No, no, no. The best plan - if he could call whatever the fuck he was improvising a plan, which just didn’t seem like the right thing to do - was to find the others, figure out who had whose powers, and realize which one he had through process of elimination.
Speaking of elimination, as Klaus searched through the streets for where the other five ended up, he’d at least been content with the power-swapping ensuring that he wasn’t hounded by the dead as he attempted to round up his siblings. Silence from the ghosts was a pleasantry he’d never quite been used to, especially silence that hadn’t come along with either being as high as a kite or drunk as a skunk. At least, it made it easier to look for the others.
“Allison!” he called out as he walked the streets, “Vanya! Diego!”
Of course, sober or not, he still drew stares from passers by as he called their names. That was fine. He just had to find them as soon as he could. They couldn’t have been far!
(Well, they very well could have, but right now, Klaus took quite a liking to trying to reassure himself through falsehoods so he didn’t panic. It was fun.)
After an hour or two of searching fruitlessly for his brothers and sisters, he eventually turned into a lesser-populated street of town - a street which harbored a cemetery.
He winced at the sight of the large plot. He always hated going into graveyards; they only bombarded him with ghosts (which he’d never forgotten Reginald taking advantage of with that fucking mausoleum). Of course, the dead couldn’t do much to him now, since he’d been stripped (or relieved?) of his usual powers that afternoon, but that didn’t stop him from grimacing.
But his grimace fell when he saw someone in a patch of trees far off on the opposite side of the property from where he’d stood outside it’s gates.
“Oh no,” he mumbled to himself as he shook his head, “Oh, no, no, nononono-”
He wished he was mistaken in thinking he recognized that quivering little frame, curled up against a tree with her forehead against her knees as she kept them close to her chest; he wished he didn’t recognize her all-black outfit from earlier, or her brown hair which she’d had her hands dug into as she covered her ears.
He’d recognized that posture all too well. Not from her, but from himself; from his days locked in the dark of that mausoleum, trying to cover his ears to block everything out and make himself small, because he felt small - and he was, he was just a kid - and curling into a ball because he’d had no one there to hold him but himself.
It was Vanya.
Vanya had his powers.
...And she got dropped in a fucking cemetery.
“Oh, fuck!”
Klaus half-ran, half-stumbled into the graveyard. Thankfully, it was nearly empty, and the few people there paid no attention when he ran across the yard, dodging and hurdling over headstones when he’d needed to. He’d dodged them on instinct and reflex alone, because all he could think about was that scared little ball up against that tree. He didn’t try to call to her; not only was he almost out of breath, but he feared that trying to call her name while she didn’t see him would just add to the bombardment of voices that no doubt rang out in her head.
As he got closer, the sight just became more and more heartbreaking, but it was at its worst when he’d gotten right in front of her, and he could hear her sobs.
“Go away.” she pleaded, a little muffled with how her head had been ducked behind her knees, “Please, please just go away.”
Klaus knew she wasn’t talking to him, but the ghosts. She wasn’t even aware of his presence yet. And he couldn’t let that stand, so he dropped to his knees and put his hand on her arm.
“Vanya-”
“NO!” she jerked away from his hand with a sob. He didn’t blame her - he would have done the same, after being left alone with the ghosts for…
...Oh, fuck, it had been hours since they’d been scattered. Hours since she’d ended up here. In a cemetery. With overwhelming powers of seeing the dead. Alone.
“Vanya!” he said louder, trying to speak over the ghosts if he could have. Gently, instead of putting a hand on her arm again, he placed both his hands on her shoulders.
Finally, her head snapped up, and when he saw those big brown eyes shine with tears that hadn’t already joined the others that streamed down her face, it took all Klaus had in him not to start crying too. Instead, he just put his hands over hers. It wouldn’t do much to actually deafen the ghosts, but he hoped it at least gave her some comfort.
“It’s me, Vanny.” he said, hoping she’d hear it, or at least know what he was saying, “It’s just me.”
Her lips, which had been relaxed as they trembled from shock, contorted into a grimace.
She hugged Klaus so tightly that it almost winded him. Even with her powers being as incredible as they were, he always got surprised at how much physical force could be inside one little violinist. Still, he hugged her back, tight enough to reassure her while not making her feel restrained. No one really hugged him when the ghosts got too strong before, but if they did, this was how he would have liked it.
Klaus could feel Vanya grab fistfuls of the back of his shirt and hold them in what he aptly assumed was a white-knuckled grip. That was alright, he was just glad she hadn’t scratched him in the process.
“There’s-” she started, her head nestled against the crook of his shoulder, her voice shaking, so little, “There’s - there’s so many of them-”
Even though she couldn’t really see it, he tried to smile reassuringly.
“Ohhh,” He tried to make his voice as reassuring as the smile she couldn’t see. “Don’t pay any mind to those silly gooses, Vanny. All their snarling and shrieking’s just for show.”
Klaus could hear her sniffle against his shoulder.
“...Geese.”
Klaus twisted his neck a little to look at what was visible of Vanya’s face, “Hm?”
Vanya picked her head up a bit.
“Not gooses.” she said, her voice strained and her eyes red, both obvious byproducts of crying as she was bombarded by the spirits of the dead in a cemetery for hours, “Geese.”
Klaus rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. Of course, of all the things that helped ground her, it was correcting his grammar. Still, he took what he could get.
“Oh, so you write one bestseller, and now you know everything about grammar, don’cha?” he said, smiling and giggling when he’d finished so she’d hopefully know he’d been trying to be lighthearted.
Apparently, it worked, because a smile twitched at the corners of her lips, and she laughed a hoarse little laugh…
...until her little smile fell, and that laugh turned into more shaking breaths again, getting deeper and deeper until she gasped with every breath.
Oh, no.
Of course, it hadn’t grounded or distracted her for long; she hugged him tighter and nestled her head against his shoulder again. But this time, she screamed against his shoulder, a sound that wasn’t made one bit less heart-shattering by being muffled. As he tried to stop his own lips from trembling and his own eyes from watering, he just hugged her tighter.
“Shhhh, it’s okay, Vanny, it’s okay.” he said, his shushing more to sooth her than to actually make her be quiet, which he knew wouldn’t work the moment she shrieked again, “You’re okay. Just focus on this. Just on me.”
“I can’t.” she choked out, “I can’t - I can’t do it - I can’t-”
As hysteric as she was… Klaus knew she was right; she couldn’t withstand this. Not for much longer. Even after almost thirty years with the ghosts, he still had a hard time keeping them at bay. For years, he couldn’t. That’s why he’d started the drugs. But even his experience with the ghosts all his life, as nightmarish as it had been, was nowhere near as bad as what had been thrust upon Vanya. He, at least, had ways to withstand it, or keep it drowned out. Vanya didn’t have that.
And it was killing her.
It was killing his baby sister.
Maybe it wasn’t killing her, but without a way to quiet it, or keep it at bay, Klaus didn’t have any doubt that… that it could drive her mad. He feared it for himself, some days in his childhood, but that fear became so much more real - and so much worse - as his sister shook in his arms.
“Klaus. Please. Help me.”
But he didn’t know how.
She was in too much hysterics to walk out of here, and he wasn’t strong enough to carry her. He didn’t have any drugs on him either - even if he did, he was not going to give them to Vanya; there was no way in hell he was going to fuck her up like that. She didn’t have any of the mood regulators she used to take, either, which might have dampened the ghost-seeing powers just like they did her moon-blow-uppy powers before.
He didn’t know what to do. His little sister was in pain and terrified and he didn’t know how to make it go away.
...He had an idea.
There was one thing he could try - something he’d wished and asked fruitlessly for often when he was little. He didn’t know if it would work, but he didn’t know for sure that it wouldn’t work, either. If it could help Vanya, it was worth a shot.
“Vanny, I have an idea,” he pulled his arms away, “But you have to trust me, okay?’
He felt her head move in a frantic nod.
“I do, I do, I do, just - just do something -”
He put his hands on her arms and gently pulled them away and pushed her back a bit so she was right in front of him, and he could look into her eyes. He didn’t know if eye contact was necessary for this, but why risk messing it up if it was?
He took a deep breath and said something he wished countless times to hear as a child; something he’d probably look really, really stupid for saying if this didn’t work, and he didn’t get the power that he really, really hoped he did.
“I heard a rumor that the ghosts went away.”
…Vanya’s eyes clouded over.
Klaus didn’t think he’d ever felt so relieved in his life. Not even after he’d been brought out of the mausoleum, or when he’d needed anaesthetics to wire his jaw shut after he fell down the stairs, and he realized that drugs shut the ghosts up. No, this was more of a relief than all of that, guaranteed.
After a few seconds, Vanya’s eyes cleared up, going from milky white back to their normal brown. Immediately, she closed them as she brought her hands to the sides of her head, her little frame sagging with fatigue.
“Did it work?” he asked with a tilt of his head. Letting out a deep breath, she nodded.
“Thank you…” she mumbled, exhaustion evident in her voice as she opened her eyes, though her eyelids were heavy.
Klaus smiled again.
“Pure luck, Vanny.” he said, “That’s all that was.”
“Mhm…” she nodded a little, sleepy nod before her eyes fell shut and her head lolled to the side…
And the rest of her body followed.
Though she was still kneeling, and it wouldn’t have hurt much if she hit the ground, Klaus still caught her as she fell unconscious, keeping her back and neck supported as best he could as he gently laid her on the ground next to the tree she’d been curled up against. Of course she collapsed; he knew how exhausting this must have been for her.
So, Vanya has my powers, I have Allison’s, and…
Klaus thought back to earlier, when he’d seen Luther frantically blipping around.
...Luther has Five’s. Great.
Well, it wasn’t like he could go searching for the others and figure out where the other three powers ended up. Vanya, laying flat on her back in the shade, was already dead to the world, and would probably be for a while yet, and Klaus would never just leave her here. Also, since he didn’t exactly have Luther-like super strength (or, depending on who got it in the switch… Allison-like? Diego-like? Five-like? Oh, now that would be rich.), or as much upper body strength as he’d like, he couldn’t carry her out.
No… the best thing to do was wait here. Whether he was waiting for one of the others to find him, or for Vanya to wake up, or for someone to kick the both of them out when the graveyard closed, he wasn’t sure. But he knew he’d wait right there for one of those things… preferably any but the latter.
Resigned and relieved, he moved over to sit up against the tree, next to his sleeping sister. With his back against the bark, he let his head loll back. Until now, he hadn’t realized how exhausted he’d been in all of this, after walking the streets for hours, running to poor Vanya, and finding her as he did…
It had been a full afternoon, and he decided resting his eyes for a bit wouldn’t hurt.
---
Klaus was lured back into the realm of the conscious by the sound of voices.
“There they are!” he’d heard.
No, not the voices of the dead he usually heard. Those would be with Vanya when (if at all) that rumor wore off (and honestly, he hoped it wouldn’t).
No, it was the voices of his siblings.
“Klaus!” he heard Five’s ever-snippety tone.
“Vanya!” he heard the worry in Allison’s voice.
He opened his eyes to see the rest of his siblings coming towards them; Allison and Five, who he heard moments before, as well as Diego and Luther. He let out a sigh. Thank fuck. He’d been worried that he might get kicked out first, as that would’ve been his luck.
It didn’t take long for them to make their way over to them.
“What happened-” Luther started, a little loud due to his concern. So it didn’t wake Vanya (or disturb nearby mourners), Klaus brought a finger to his lips and shushed him.
He pointed down to Vanya, still sleeping at his side, and put up his hands - and their ouija board-esque tattoos - in a flourish, a clear gesture saying that Vanya had his powers.
They all got it immediately.
“What about you guys?” he whispered.
“Well,” Allison started, still glancing at Vanya. “After I tried seeing if I could control where things I threw went, I figured out I had Diego’s powers.”
She nodded to Diego as he stood behind her, looking over her shoulder to stare down at Vanya with a troubled gaze, which almost looked… restrained, as if he was trying to keep his emotions at bay.
“I landed by a lake, so it was easy to find out with skipping stones.” she explained. Of course, leave it to Allison to find the most practical way to deduct which power she’d gotten.
(It must have been fun holding the family’s brain cell.)
“And after a few broken streetlamps,” Five announced, hands in his pockets, “Figured it would be best if Diego here kept a cool head for a while.”
So, he’s got Vanya’s powers. Klaus figured out. Makes sense.
It didn’t, but none of this did. Nothing in their lives ever did.
“And it took a bit to find Luther when he kept blipping across the street every time he sneezed.” Allison said, eyeing a very sheepish Luther behind her.
“Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“That means…” Five trailed off.
Klaus nodded.
“I’m all…” he brought up his hands and wiggled his fingers, “rumory.”
Allison looked between him and Vanya. “Did you use it?”
Klaus nodded again.
“Just to get the ghosts off her back.” he assured, looking down at his sister, “Ohhh, they just terrified poor Vanny. She was crying her eyes out when I found her.”
He looked back up at them.
“She alright now?” Diego asked. Either he was doing a terrible job at keeping his worry for Vanya out of his voice, or he wasn’t trying at all.
“Oh, yeah, yeah, she’s fine.” He waved his hand as nonchalantly as he could manage, as if it didn’t feel weird to talk about how “fine” his sister was after he found her crying her eyes out. “She’s just… out. She ended up passing out all on her own.” He shrugged and shook his head. “Wasn’t me, or the rumor. She was just tuckered out, poor thing.”
Five walked forward until he was right in front of Vanya, crouched down, put one arm under her back and one under her legs, and - much to Klaus’ surprise - lifted her with no trouble. Klaus’ eyes widened at the sight, and his eyebrows raised.
“Super strength.” he said, completely and utterly matter of fact.
Oh. Klaus held back a grin and stifled a giggle. Of course.
“Which means,” he grit his teeth, “it won’t be hard to throw one of these headstones at you if you let out that laugh you’re doing a shit job at holding back.”
Keeping a poker face, Klaus put up a thumbs-up.
“Come on.” Five turned around, “Let’s figure this out.”
Five started to lead the pack of power-mismatched siblings out of the cemetery, and even though he wasn’t sure where they were going, Klaus followed where Five was leading. That always took him and his siblings to the most lovely destinations, didn’t it?
He ended up falling in stride with Allison, who kept looking at the ground.
“So…” she lifted her head back up and looked at him, “You used a rumor on her?”
Even though she’d already asked that, Klaus nodded.
“If there’s one thing I know, Allie,” he started, “it’s how bad the ghosts are. Especially somewhere like…”
He gestured around them.
“...this. I felt pretty out of options, really. I didn’t even know I had it. Pure luck - that’s what we usually run on, right? Luck, I think, is the lifeblood of the Hargreeves.”
“You sure it’s not things going wrong?” she asked. Klaus shrugged.
“Hey,” he said, “the family can have two lifebloods.”
Allison seemed to agree. “God knows we need it.’
After another moment or so of walking, she laughed a little laugh - not really a laugh, but close enough to one that any other word would have been too inaccurate.
“I remember…” She let her gaze fall to the ground. “When we were kids, you’d always ask me to use it. All the time. When we’d come back from missions, when you’d have nightmares, when Dad let you out of…”
She didn’t finish that thought. Instead, she shook her head.
“...and I never did. I wanted to, but-”
“Alliiie, you don’t have to explain yourself.” He waved it off with a shrug, “I get it! Dear ol’ Dad would’ve lost his marbles. I never held that against you, and neither-” he put his hand on her shoulder, “should you.”
Allison nodded before she said…
“It might not wear off.”
Klaus gasped, putting a hand over his mouth.
“Oh, nooo! That's... the opposite of a problem!”
Allison rolled her eyes.
“Klaus...”
“Come ooon.” he said, “Seeing ghosts all the time is, surprisingly enough, not all it’s cracked up to be. Kinda spooky, actually.”
“I'm just saying,” she said, a little exasperated by her brother’s sarcasm, “It might be permanent. Even when we do get our powers switched back. Sometimes… rumors stick around for a while.”
“Well…” he winced, “I guess we’ll just burn that bridge when we get to it.”
“You mean cross that bridge?”
At that exact moment, they both heard a loud sneeze and whipped their heads forward at Luther - or at least, where he was. Much to the other four’s exasperation (Vanya didn’t respond, as she was still asleep), he’d blipped across the graveyard.
“...Nope.”
#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#mine#tua#tua fanfic#klaus hargreeves#vanya hargreeves#my writing#allison hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#five hargreeves
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The Rewatch Academy: Episode 6 of Season 1
“The Day That Wasn’t”
I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it’s funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes
☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂
| 1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04 | 1x05 |
☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂ ☂
☂ Klaus is lucky that he never got the briefcase shot up
☂ *Hears Klaus flush the toilet and talk* Luther: Oh good, you’re up
☂ Also Luther gave Klaus about two seconds to get up before hounding him again on getting downstairs
☂ Sounds like Tom’s accent slipped a little bit when he said “three days”
☂ Yeah they needed to have a family meeting right away and yet they took the time to go get coffee or at least order it and have it delivered
☂ “Old bastard” and “Our little psycho”
☂ I still don’t get at this point how they wouldn’t believe Five. Look at him, he himself is evidence of his time traveling! He was gone for 45 years, but to them it was only 17. Either way they try to grasp at that, Five would look older if he made it back without messing up. He knew about their father’s death without anyone telling him. I really think all the mistrust comes from the way he looks and the way he acts (they obviously believe he’s just crazy right now)
☂ “What did Five even see?”
☂ Also throw back to 1x02 and I didn’t realized this until now but Five doesn’t have his tie
☂ I know it’s for the title card gag but no one questions the random umbrella falling and popping open
☂ I aspire to be as sarcastic as Hazel
☂ So where exactly is The Commission HQ at? Is it a random location in the real world? If so then wouldn’t normal people happen to stumble upon it? What about their location in space in the comics? Is this in space?? All we know is that it’s in/based off of the year 1955
☂ “I’d like to discuss the logistics of my family’s safety at your earliest convenience.” He cuts right to what’s most important to him. No “How will you stop the apocalypse?” or “What’s my job?” and even “How will my body replacement work?”
☂ Five sounds almost like he’s snapped back into a work mindset. He's suddenly polite and calm with The Handler. Maybe being back in a work environment has made his brain automatically switch into being more professional. However he might also be acting this way to try to throw her off of him being antsy with a plan
☂ Here's some Commission posters shown throughout 1x06
☂ One of us, one of us, one of us-
☂ So basically The Commission makes up history? How do they know what to do and when to make something happen? How do they know it’s right? And what’s The Commission supposed to do when the world ends? Haven't they already fixed stuff in the past or are there just continuous time loops so they need to make sure things happen over and over again? If multiple historical events happen with multiple ways they are made, then which one gets to be in the original timeline??
☂ Dot: No hard feelings! 😁
Ma’am does it look like he’s going to accept that
☂ Wait why are Hazel and Cha-Cha considered the best Temporal Assassins if Five was/is the best?
☂ Well Five has the job of taking down the Hindenburg again but this time from behind a desk. So it’s possible to accomplish “corrections” without actually having assassins do the work. So I guess there’s just so many timelines that they need to fix every single one of them over and over? That sounds like a pain in the ass
☂ TUA portraits!
☂ Y’know I have to agree with Allison on this one. Vanya was left out, however she’s offering to talk with her about the important family matter and Vanya is just denying it. I get she’s upset, but her sister is offering to include her. After Vanya leaves Allison immediately wants to go after her to talk with her. On the other hand Allison should have told her it was an emergency meeting and that they didn’t have the time to ask Vanya to join them
☂ Klaus seems genuinely concerned/upset for Vanya
☂ “We need to figure out what causes the apocalypse. Now, there are loads of possibilities. Nuclear war, asteroids.” Wow spot on, Luther! I can’t believe they actually included foreshadowing for both apocalypses (even though technically it was a chunk of the moon, not an asteroid.) I wonder how much foreshadowing for S3 was put into S2.......
☂ I know it’s big joke about Luther and the moon, but the poor guy just really believes that he was on the moon for an important reason. I mean if I were in his shoes I would believe him too since he had to send a lot of daily updates and samples
☂ “Klaus shockingly has a point. What gives us a win this time?” Shhhh careful Diego, he’s right behind you
☂ Luther is initially the only one onboard with Five on trying to stop the apocalypse. All the others want to go off and do their own thing before the world ends. He tries to get The Umbrella Academy back together to work as a team, but his leadership skills are now severely lacking. Do people *cough cough* mainly people who hate him *cough cough* overlook Luther wanting to also get his family together to stop the apocalypse with his family? Definitely.
☂ “We need the full force of the Academy to stand a chance.” Well golly gee, Allison, what did did Luther just try to do? Was that not him trying to round up all of The Umbrella Academy to stop the apocalypse?
☂ Even though Vanya is ranting, how does she not hear all the creaking metal and shaking cars?
☂ *it’s sunny around them but just the block they’re walking on is rainy until she calms down* “ThAt’S a CoInCiDeNcE.”
☂ The hall floor and Diego’s floor are so dusty
☂ It’s sweet that Diego wants Klaus to get clean in a safe way instead of going cold turkey
☂ Dot, what does “utter silence” mean to you?
☂ “Look at you, deadly little thing.” You’re not wrong, but I don’t think he appreciates being called “thing”
☂ Such a smug smile
☂ So how does Five know all of this about Karl and his son? Does it talk about Otto never washing his hands in the file? That seems like an oddly specific detail but I guess in a case file it gives as many details as possible for the worker to figure out who needs to get assassinated
☂ There are a few cog references all relating to The Commission, so I wonder if this is a nod to “Teenagers” or if they’re just using this terminology
☂ Odd tattoos (sorry for the super blurry pic)
☂ “Can I ask you a cuckoo bananas question?” Hazel is such a fun guy
☂ “Wouldn’t it be nice to kill who you want for a change?” You mean like straight up unhinged murder?
☂ The first time I watched this Hazel and Cha-Cha scene I for sure thought that Hazel was a dead man
☂ This scene just absolutely breaks my heart 💔
☂ *skips 25:24-27:42*
☂ Diego is just so accepting to everything Klaus is saying
☂ I’m sorry, are we suddenly on the set of The Phantom of the Opera?
☂ Diego, I think you’re forgetting a very important person in your life who you let down too who is also dead......(poor Ben can’t believe what his brother just said so he leaves)
☂ “Ordinary is not a word I’d use to describe you.” You’re right, it’s “Extra Ordinary” ha! Sorry Vanya, I had to use that joke
☂ Well at least we know Five ate a sandwich
☂ How exciting! The same division that made a simple candy taste like a candy from the past, but technically it’s not the past since The Commission HQ is based in 1955, is building a human body! That sounds so promising
☂ Sooooo whatever happened to Five’s new body? Is it just sitting in a lab somewhere?? Or is The Handler just lying about it to try to get Five to stay at The Commission?
☂ With the amount of time Five was staring at the suit, it obviously hurt him to know that while he has a new body within reach, he’s not going to get it because he’s about to leave
☂ “Course it’s a bit easier to see from 30,000 feet.” What is she talking about Reconnaissance aircraft? There was no mention of aircraft though so why would she bring that up? My closest guess is that she’s referring to strategic bombing in general, or even the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
☂ It sounds like Five suddenly has a New York accent when he says “operator” when talking to The Handler about Gloria
☂ Fuck you, Veggie Tales Hargreeves
☂ *skips 36:47-39:48*
☂ Well there’s your hit, Klaus
☂ I love the camera moving with Klaus as he falls and the transition into Vietnam
☂ “Lock and load, Charlie’s away!” Wikipedia’s definition of a “Charlie” is an American military slang referring to the Viiet Cong and North Vietnamese soldiers
☂ Klaus desperately calling out for a medic hurts my heart
☂ Well Luther if you had left then your body wouldn’t be the way it is now
☂ *fucking skips 45:41-50:00*
☂ Ooooh I just really love the entirety of the “Kill Of The Night” scene! If you listen to the lyrics it’s about someone luring someone into a trap to get revenge because they messed with the wrong person (it’s also about love but we’re going to ignore that part). I personally believe it’s aimed at The Commission from Five because the entire time it plays he’s messing things up for them and in some way it’s like a little bit of revenge from him
☂ Why is Gloria confused on who Hazel and Cha-Cha are? Hasn’t she heard their names a ton of times especially since they’re some of the best assassins?
☂ How did Five know which tubes to put the messages in?
☂ You can see at this part how Five immediately gets anxious and antsy. He has a wild look in his eyes. From this point onwards he’s constantly moving, shaking with energy, anticipation, and probably a little bit of anger
☂ “You’re a great disappointment to me.” That’s definitely not the first time he’s heard that
☂ “I don’t belong anywhere thanks to you. You made me a killer!” The first part of that stings. Obviously he feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere, but again I think has to do with the whole “good” and “bad” thing that’s going on. He feels like he doesn’t belong at home because he’s “bad” and has done a lot of dark stuff to get home (it doesn’t help that Luther voiced his acknowledgment of this to Five and now he has that in his mind that Luther knows and somewhat views him as “bad”). Five 100% feels shame in what he has done, and definitely has an issue of coming back to his family with blood on his hands form what he has done. He doesn’t belong in The Commission anymore because he doesn’t want to stay there to do their dirty work to kill or give out kill orders. He’s done with that or at least wants to be done with that life.
The last statement though is Five taking his anger and guilt about being becoming an assassin out on The Handler. She brought him into The Commission, which in turn he became the best assassin across The Space-Time Continuum. It’s not something he’s proud of, and he never enjoyed killing (as much as I want it to be the DNA alteration I just don’t think it exists in the show or at least not yet). However The Handler replies with “You were always a killer. I just pointed you in a direction.” which you can immediately tell has struck a chord with Five. For the briefest second he looks taken aback and his eyes ever so slightly open wider in shock, whether he took that as the truth or just a terrible accusation isn’t exactly clear. Either way he doesn’t like being accused or hearing the truth out loud of always being able to be murderous, a killer.
I believe it’s a mixture of The Handler just trying to get into his head and a combination of the truth. Reginald trained The Umbrella Academy to use brute force, but that doesn’t mean Five had killed anyone but he was definitely violent when it came to stopping bad guys (not to mention in the pilot script he was called a “Ruthless little war machine” after violently attacking and decapitating a bunch of mannequins)
☂ Diego: I’m going to go kill Hazel and Cha-Cha!........Riiiiight after I get done walking with my mom in the park
☂ He’s so happy to see Klaus again
☂ ✨Gremlin✨
☂ Who exactly does Five owe a debt to? Maybe his family after accidentally leaving them and now he wants to save them? Or is it a singular person?
☂ Ouch! Now that’s what I call a problem later!
☂
☂ Five using “Ya’ll” is weird to hear
☂ Five is talking to his siblings like he knows what’s been happening but in reality he’s rarely been at home so how would he know
☂ I love that Five doesn't even answer Diego at the end and instead just stares at his siblings
☂☂☂☂☂☂☂
Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!
#surprise here's another long over due post!#tra#the rewatch academy#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy
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I'm a fucking wreck rn I haven't been sleeping for a week and I'm getting some rest from the bullshit factory that is my brain only now, but I just wanted to say that last year for me has been saved by tumblr and all the friends I made along the way.
Before you go below the cut, a special thanks goes to the Bee Movie Anon, who, rightfully, I can't tag so I have to say it here in the hope that they'll see it. Your hunger for chaos made me feel a lot of emotions, and I'd have never in any time or space thought that the Bee Movie would be such a prominent part of my life as it is now thanks (read it with a note of sarcasm) to you. Thank you for providing us an infinite amount of both entertainment and suffering, hell, some of the friends I made were because of YOU. I'm still not sure what was your drive to go and start this absurd crusade for the bee movie in the 80s metal fandom, but I don't know, I don't think bee so, I'm not gonna question your ways.
@arnold-layne being the first in line, you kept me sane somehow in the first phases of quarantine and dedicated a lot your time to talk with me and helped me enormously with creativity. If it wasn't for you, that Cyberpunk Comic That Is Kinda Inspired By The Crüe and Shout At The Devil would've been already down the drain. I would've given up probably, because I didn't know how to exted the concept and have an actual plot. A dream that I've been having for literal years wouldn't even have such cool characters with a rich storyline if it wasn't for you. I know I kinda left it after a month or so of intense brainstorming with you, I was literally drained at that point both physically and mentally, but oh boy I haven't forgot about the characters that WE created. How could I after all? Russ being the wreck of a tormented junkie protagonist that he is, Dylan the happy-go-lucky fuck up that seems to do nothing right but with the best intentions, Frankie the runaway sassy and wary androgynous teenager whose gender is a mystery even to themselves, and the epitome of the found family trope, ex gov agent part Japanese, part Russian, part cyborg Vik, whose story isn't still clear yet but we'll give him a very good one, eventually.
You gave me the curiosity to read fanfiction again after literally NINE YEARS of being distant from that part of the fandom and honestly I don't regret it one bit. In fact, I discovered literally my favorite writer in fanfiction. That is you, Arnold. I don't care how frequently you write, I don't care if sometimes you can't do your best. I'll always be there waiting for the next chapter and I'll always think that your art is sublime. I'll have to admit, I don't read your works as often as I should. But it's because I love them so much that I want to always save for later. It's like a drug, or a delicious cake that you want it to last as long as possible so you can enjoy it for much longer (I should be reading your fic more often either way tho like, at least so I can make more art for it. I'll make sure to change that this year and give you the recognition you deserve 🖤).
Everytime I make art, everytime I make a post, I always wait for your name to pop in my notifs. And fuck if I'm happy when I see it, and I rush to read your tags and it always makes my day. Like seriously, you mean so much to me and I admire how you can still be any amount of sane with all you're going through. You're strong as hell, keep going. 🖤
@i-dont-like-rice dude, how can I explain it. You're my best bud here. You're my chaotic sibling from another mother. The other braindead I share the single braincell I have with. The Nikki to my Tommy. Or the Tommy to my Nikki, I'm still not sure which of us is which (I guess I'm Nikki and you're Tommy? lmao it's ironic how even them are an italian and a balkanian) but you get the point. Every interaction we have, I laugh my ass off till my whole body hurts every time. I think I worried my mother and annoyed my sister at least a couple times for bursting out laughing for five minutes straight out of the blue, especially if it was late at night, and all the times, I swear it was because of you. You are as chaotic as you are kind, and it's always so disarming to see you worry or take care of others when you are definitely in a worse situation. Please, be more selfish, goddammit. For your own sake. And be more confident of your art. Draw shit and post it. Who cares if it's not perfect and you hate it and you don't want anybody to see it, it's tumblr, nobody will ever reblog it or give you the well deserved recognition anyway! So it's worth a try isn't it?
@no-stone-no-bone seriously, I'm so glad I met you. You're like the third element of chaos that holds me and Andi together. All three of us are literally unstoppable. You're extremely sweet too and I wish you the best, and DON'T HIDE SHIT IN THE TAGS GODDAMMIT 😂
@white-lightning-625 @viiinceneil I know we really haven't talked much, and we met through unfortunate times, but I'm so glad that something good came out of the chaos and drama, which is being able to talk to you and getting to know you both better. And the fics. My god, the fics. Frankie, I already told you this but MY GOD. I still find it incredible that I've read a fic about a band I didn't even know what they looked or sounded like and I was HOOKED from start to finish. And Katie, I should definitely read more of your works because I love what you've got going on. You're both very sweet and talented with a very distinct, beautiful way of writing and I can't wait to sink my teeth into the pulp of your work, because I know that by now I only scratched the surface.
@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands Bruh, conoscere una fan su tumblr the parla la MIA STESSA LINGUA (e che ha pure il mio stesso vero nome lmao cosa sta succedendo)??? Che concetto innovativo!!! Le nostre conversazioni sono sempre disgiunte, ma non importa, adoro ogni nostra interazione. Sei seriamente una delle persone più dolci e gentili che abbia mai conosciuto. La tua creatività stimola sempre la mia. Le tue moodboard sono sempre 👌👌👌 e ogni volta trovo sempre qualcosa che sì, ci avevo pensato, ma mai nel modo in cui lo poni tu, e di solito sono una persona che resta vicina alle proprie idee, ma tu riesci a farmi alterare prospettiva, e trovo questo meccanismo mentale molto affascinante. Ti ricordi lo swapped instruments AU, con Tommy come cantante, no? Giuro che è un concetto a cui penso ancora dopo mesi. Spero di avere la capacità mentale per tradurre quell'idea in arte il prima possibile, perché cazzo, lo adoro troppo
@tattooed-lies thank you for providing the fandom the best gifs in the fucking platform and thank you for giving us the vinikki content that everyone, even if they're not aware, deserves and needs. Thank you for being the only Vince stan that I know. Thank you for being the sweetest person alive 💖
@nbtommylee honestly, I wish I was cool like you. Your sense of humor is impeccable, much like your critical thinking. I have never read something from you that wasn't a valid point. You don't talk shit and that's extremely sexy of you, y'know? And having a "gender dysphoria buddy" to be jealous of our Rockstar Gender Of Choice with is always fun to have, so that's definitely a plus. Can't wait to see (and read!) more of your art, I just love your style so much and you deserve to be Known
@metalmelkor @emometalhead @polka-dot-duff I'm always so happy to see you in my notifs and y'all are oh so very sweet and cool, we haven't talked much but I love every interaction we have, sorry for having the social skills of a stale piece of white bread 🖤
A special thanks goes to @awesomgrlgr8job bc you're literally one of my very first mutuals since I made the decision to make this dumpster fire of a blog and holy shit it's crazy to think about that. I don't even know if we ever interacted that much but it's always such a joy to see you around, ily and I hope you're doing well and thanks for putting up with my clownery for so long 💖
Like seriously, thank you all. I don't even know where I would be without you. Here's to another year of chaos, but only of the good kind 💖
#witchy.txt#I didn't think I would've rambled so much ahshdhjfjf I'm so sorry you have to go through all that#there are a lot of people I could've mentioned but we never really talked so I wouldn't have much to say#but believe me when I tell you that I love seeing you on my dash and in my notifs#I really mean that#and I hope y'all are doing well bc ily 💖
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The post where I try to fix Klaus’ arc in TUA season 2
(((I guess I just am an umbrella academy blogger now)))
OKAY, so we all can agree that Klaus’s arc in season 2 (mostly with dave) was....not great. the intentions i think were good, but misguided. It started pretty good, the acting was great, but it didn’t have the lasting power. Here’s 10 things the writers should have done differently, or should do in the future (as told by me, a nobody). Yes most of this is a long Klaus x Dave shitpost
1. Learn Basic Math: Idk why this is so hard to fucking grasp, but Dave’s baby-faced teenager age doesn’t make any fucking sense. according to the wiki, he was born in 1939, so in 1963 he is 24 years old. the actor who played young Dave is currently 20, so was probably 19 when they filmed.
Why? why. *instert why vine*
like yeah he’s younger, but he doesn’t need to look like a infant. The baby-est gay that ever did baby gay. it puts a weird dynamic into the whole season with Klaus. and it’s not like there isn’t someone else who can play dave....
2. Hire Cody Ray Thompson again: ....like, I’m baffled. they’ve baffled me. This guy had one(1) job, fall in love with Klaus, and he did it with so much charm and chemistry that the whole fanbase is still quaking. he had like 2 lines. like less 3 total minutes of screen time. And we all fell in love with him cause he did so good. ((he’s also a klave stan check out his twitter))
Whyyyy couldn’t they just get him in for season? “hE’d LoOk ToO OlD” well the other kid looked too damn young. do his hair different, have him lose some bulk in the arms and shoulders, get him a k-pop skin care routine, I don’t care.
Imagine if he got to have multiple scenes with Robert Sheehan, when they had so much chemistry in just a short montage in season 1.
3. Knock it off with the homophobia: i’m not gonna talk about when Dave punches klaus it’s literally the worst part of the season. it’s not what i came here for. I want a refund. (see point 7 for notes)
4. Actually make the cult a useful part of the season: like we have hundreds of adoring klaus fans ready to do anything he tells them… could that have served a plot purpose at any point? Could that have been useful in a conflict, or some character development? No?
5. Establish the Ben possessions much earlier: probably one of the most interesting plot points from season 2 is that ben had more agency. And then 5 minutes later he didn’t. I know we have 7 main characters but did we need this many scenes with the Handler while Ben got diddly fuck until the last 2 episodes?
6: Why Doesn’t Klaus see ghosts anymore?: like, he sees Ben. but, what about all the other ones? He got sober, does he just ignore them now? ((guys what if he conjured the spirit of JFK))
7: (this one’s long) Make Klaus’s arc about internal conflict, not an external conflict between him and Dave:
Klaus is established in season 1 to be selfish, but in like a fun way. he thinks of self satisfaction before literally anything else. this comes to a head when he comes back from Vietnam and says “He was the only person I’ve ever loved more than myself”
After this Klaus’ growth is kind of put on the back-burner for the apocalypse stuff. We never really get to see him put someone else first after that. Even when he gets sober to see Dave, it’s to fulfill his own desires.
By season 2 his world view has shifted, he gets sober, but we need more actions toward change. he gets bored of the cult and ditches them, and he barely does anything for Ben.
(selfish but lovable)
Enter tall hunky texas boy Dave, (((who is an adult man))) who is in the closet from his homophobic family, but it’s not spelled out for us. It could be as subtle as a look, or saying a coded phrase. The audience isn’t interested in the macro-drama of 1960’s homophobia, we are interested in the micro-drama between these two characters.
Anyway, Klaus is excited to see Dave, and they like meet and have a normal conversation, where it is eventually revealed that Dave is already planning on joining the marines soon. Klaus wants to stop him but then he realizes (or Ben tells him) that if Klaus says the wrong thing (like telling Dave not to go to war) it would change the timeline and they would never meet in 1968. And for the next couple EPISODES i want Klaus to have to think about this, like it’s an actual hard decision to make. He’s a creature of habit, his instincts are selfish because he’s always been selfish, but he loves this guy so much.
Maybe he tries bargaining, like maybe he can subtly tell Dave just enough to keep him alive, but not stop him from going to Vietnam. And Dave is rightfully confused that this person knows a lot about him, but also like… he’s kinda cute. I want weird coffee shop dates and long walks through the texas fields in the setting sun.
But right at the deadline of “we gotta stop the apocalypse again” Klaus realizes that he can’t let Dave go to Vietnam, even if it means they never meet. Cause he loves dave like way too much to even risk it, even if it means putting his own happiness second. It’s the first truly selfless act of love Klaus does for someone. So he tells him everything, but it sounds fucking bat-shit insane and Klaus has to leave right then and there. Leaving Dave standing there like “Wtf”
Later on after the Kennedy assassination, klaus and all the hargreeves’ are named as suspects, so Dave wonders if he’s just been duped by a cult leader this whole time (but also is kinda sad about it). He enlists in the marines anyway, and this is where we stay on the season one timeline.
But speaking of time-lines…….
8. Use season 3 to retcon timeline issues: like obviously they are going to fuck around with the timeline, because of the fucking bird school and emo ben. So take this opportunity, dear writers, to figure out how Klaus’s (and everyone else’s) lives make any sense, and cut some stuff from the season 1 and season 2 timelines. (and no, Klaus and Dave never falling in love in Vietnam is not a valid choice. It’s a garbage way to make me cry.)
9: Set a whole (or most of an) episode in 1968 Vietnam: maybe this is when they are trying to fix the timeline. Idk it’s just for fanservice. They have a whole 10 episodes and they can’t give just one to klaus? bullshit.
10. (Fan Theory) Reveal that Dave was killed by the commission: the true tragedy of this romance is that if Dave lived Klaus probably wouldn’t have gone back to 2019. They might have actually lived a happy life together. But the timeline needs Klaus in 2019, to be part of and die in the apocalypse, so the commission sends someone (.....maybe not Five) out to kill his boyfriend.
Anyway it took me so many braincells to write this post and i do not accept criticism for free, so dm for my paypal if you want to tell me this was stupid.
#the umbrella academy#tua#klaus hargreeves#klaus x dave#klave#tua season three#tua season 2#dave katz#fix-it#fan theory#ben hargreeves#robert sheehan#cody ray thompson
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Updated TUA Timeline
A little over a year ago, Aidan posted a timeline for the events of the Umbrella Academy on his Instagram. I posted it on this blog at the time and promised I was going to update my TUA Timeline post with that info. Never did. But I am now! So, here it is. The updated TUA Timeline.
Also, there will obviously be spoilers, so don’t read this if you haven’t watched season 1.
October 1st, 1989 - The Umbrella Academy kids are born.
1993 - Grace Joins the family.
This is according to Aidan’s Timeline. Depending on the time of the year, the kids would be 3 or 4 when this happens. This may or may not be when the kids get names.
1993/1994 - Vanya forgets about her powers.
Vanya also trains with Reginald and is subsequently made to forget about her powers around this time. Though we don’t get a specific date or length of time that Vanya trains, the flashbacks don’t appear to show her training for a super long time. I think a good guess would be less than a year for this training, putting Vanya’s age at 4. (This also matches up with the casting for the young Vanya and young Allison roles, which I used previously to estimate this age/date)
1997/1998 - Klaus is locked in the mausoleum for the first time.
I am basing this on the casting for the role of young Klaus, which has him at 8 years old.
However, it’s not quite that simple, because when Klaus is talking to his dad in episode 7, he says that his dad locked him in the mausoleum when he was 13.
Complicating matters even further, there is a post somewhere out there that took a screen shot of Reginald’s journal with notes about locking Klaus in the mausoleum. (I have not been able to find that post again, so if anyone knows the one I’m talking about and has a link, I would love to put it in here). The date recorded on those notes is 2001. (I don’t remember the month, but I think it was summer) That would have made him 11 years old.
It’s possible that this was just an inconsistency in the writing. Or it’s possible that Reginald locked Klaus in a mausoleum on at least 3 different occasions at age 8, 11, and 13. Possibly more.
2001/2002 - The Umbrella Academy stops a Robbery
I’m basing this on the fact that all the same actors were used for these scenes as were used in the scene where Five leaves, so they can’t be much more than a year younger than that.
November 10, 2002 - Five leaves the Academy
According to Pogo in episode 1, Five has been gone for 16 years, 4 months, and 14 days. The date in that episode is March 24th, 2019 (according to Vanya). That means that Five disappeared on November 10th, 2002, a little more than a month after the Umbrella Academy kids all turned 13. (This date is also confirmed on Aidan’s timeline)
(Side-note. Remember when Klaus mentions being locked in the mausoleum when he was 13? That means it probably happened not too long after Five disappeared. Holy Fuck Regi!)
2006(?) - Ben Dies
OK, this is only a guess, BUT it’s a good one and if you scroll down to the additional notes at the bottom, you’ll see why.
2014 - Vanya publishes her book
In episode 3, we learn that Vanya wrote her book 5 years earlier. (when they were 24) At this point, Ben is already dead and Luthor has not had his accident yet.
2014/2015 - Luther has his accident
We’re not sure how long it takes Regi to send Luther to the moon after his accident (days? weeks? months?) so all we really know is that the accident happens sometime between Vanya publishing her book and the moon trip.
2015 - Luther goes to the moon
In episode 6, Luther says that he was on the moon for 4 years, making him about 25 years old when he left. Aidan’s timeline also confirms that Luther went to the moon in 2015.
March 24th, 2019 - Reginald’s Funeral
We know this because they tell Five the exact date.
April 1st, 2019 - Apocalypse
(Dear Commission: Worst April Fools joke ever).
This Brings us to the present. The members of the Umbrella Academy are all 29, except for Five, who is 58, and Klaus, who spent 10 months in Vietnam and is therefore 30 now.
Additional Notes on the Timeline:
Five in the Future Five finds Delores pretty soon after the apocalypse (again, same actor, so I’m figuring a year leeway at most). He tells Klaus that he was with Delores for 30 years. That would make him about 43 when The Handler shows up.
When Five gets back to the present, he gives a very specific amount of time he has been gone: 45 years. This means he spent 15 years working for the Comission, making him 58 at this point.
Five also traveled through history extensively while working for the commission. His last mission had something to do with the Kennedy assassination, which would put him in 1963.
(Quick note on this one - Someone commented on this post a while back with a correction and I was going to go back and do more research so I could correct these numbers, but now I can’t find the post and it’s been so long that I can’t remember what the correction was. So, if these numbers look off, let me know and I will fix it)
1968 - Klaus travels back in time to the Vietnam War
Historical Context: This is 3 years after the first American troops arrived in Vietnam and 5 years after Kennedy was assassinated. Nixon was elected in 1968. This was also the year of the Tet Offensive, a massive campaign by the North Vietnamese Army to push the US troops out of the country and ferment rebellion among the South Vietnamese people. This was the big turning point in the war and marked the beginning of the US troops’ defeat. This was also the year of the My Lai Massacre, where the US Army murdered more than 500 civilians in the city of My Lai. This incident was covered up for a year before the American press found out about it.
Finally, the reasoning behind my guess that 2006 is the year Ben died:
Klaus mentions that Ben died “young and tragic”
Everyone left the house after Ben died, according to Vanya.
In episode 3, Alison says that they left their mom alone for 13 years. (13 years ago, they would have been 16) We don’t know how quickly everyone left, if it took days, weeks, or even years, so it’s possible that 13 years ago was when Alison left specifically. It could be that everyone was gone by that date. Or it could be that this is when everyone started leaving.
Diego mentions moving out at 17. Again, everyone left after Ben died, so it would have happened before that.
Ben’s statue does not have a date on it, but obviously he would have had to be at least the same age as he is depicted there.
We also have the following portraits sequence in episode 1 that was used to show Five’s disappearance and Ben’s death. Here are all 4 portraits.
Portrait 1 is done when they are all 12 or 13 years old. Everyone looks about the same age in portrait 2, so I’m assuming it Reginald had it commissioned right after Five disappeared. It would therefore make sense that portrait 4 was done right after Ben died. There are clearly several years age difference between portraits 2 and 3. It also looks like there may be another year or so age difference between portraits 3 and 4. Because of this, I would argue that the children are at least 15 years old in the final portrait. Therefore, Ben dies at age 15 or 16.
Last bit of evidence is Aidan’s timeline. Now, the year for Ben’s death is blacked out, BUT we can see the general shape of the numbers. The first number is clearly a 2, so we know that it’s not just a bunch of 0′s as a place holder. The last two numbers are rounded at the top and the bottom. In the font they are using, that gives us these possible years: 2003, 2006, 2008, 2009.
The placement between 2002 and 2015 is just a little past the middle point, so at first I figured that would mean the year was 2009. HOWEVER, that would mean he died at age 20. The other kids definitely don’t look 20 in the portrait after Ben dies and this doesn’t match up with the comments Allison and Diego make about leaving when they were still in their teens. Also, if you look at the timeline for earlier years, the same space between dates is used across the board, whether those dates are 4 years apart or 9 years apart.
Conclusion: I think Ben died in early 2006 (making him 16).
And that’s all I’ve got so far.
If anyone else has more clues for the timeline, please add them to this post.
#TUA Timeline#The Umbrella Academy#tua#klaus hargreeves#ben hargreeves#five hargreeves#Allison Hargreeves#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#vanya hargreeves
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tua rewatch episode four
luther in his adult jumpsuit,,,, boy,, please get urself some clothes,,,,
question: who went and retrieved luther from his mission when he was dying?? did he? crawl home? that’s so depressing
pogo just. has the serum on hand? didn’t even need to go anywhere to get it?
was luther in a coma or did the serum just make him super super hairy
“a beard is the worst thing to give a character if you want me to recognize who they are” - my roommate
“oh PLEASE tell me that he’s the one responsible for bigfoot sightings. please tell me that is one of the plot points of this series”
“I am fine” luther says, immediately after running away in horror after revealing his ape body to the family at large while experiencing intense dysmorphia
“I can see them building up the weird romance that doesn’t make it... i just keep being like ‘do you know how a sibling relationship goes’ and the show keeps saying ‘none of these idiots have seen a healthy sibling relationship’”
okay the only valid point leonard gets is telling vanya she isn’t allowed to apologize for existing around him
oh shit this is where leonard is briefly introduced to helen,,, uh oh,,, helen,,, helen run,,,,
klaus really said “look bro we have such terrible communication skills that i literally know NOTHING”
patch: the boy is our only witness and he’s a complete mystery
diego, putting two and two together: fuck... I have a boy
except for that fact that he doesn’t bc he’s mourning grace. even though he literally mentions the fact that his brother has been missing a day and a half. nothing. five’s hero name is LITERALLY the boy how is that not his first association
okay i also forgot about the fact that the doctor form meritech had the dog in the car as well bless. but can you IMAGINE being threatened at knifepoint by a feral thirteen-year-old?? incredible. not even a high schooler. i feel like i would be so incredulous?? like? do you need to be dropped off somewhere? do you want some chocolate milk, violent child?
wow diego really said “i see luther’s biggest sore point and i am going to immediately press that big old button”
where WAS pogo during the house break in actually
“I mean klaus was fine during the whole thing i guess. he was kidnapped, but he’s fine.” - roommate
wait
wait wait why do they have klaus’s coat
he was in a TOWEL
he was literally in a TOWEL and HAIR TOWEL why do they have his coat and drugs ??????????
hello??????
“OH i know what it reminds me of! the dog head thing reminds me of paranoia agent!!” -my roommate, though i’m not sure what that is
i have been shown a picture and honestly that’s a fair comparison
wow five really got exploded and was looking at rubble AND fire that’s,, not a trigger at all. please give this child a hug. i know he’s not really a child but. i digress
where did he go after though
like clearly he did not return to the van
oh right he went to the library and got super super drunk with dolores that’s right
:(
where are the fics post-meritech exploding about five having flashbacks and panic attacks and stealing(?) alcohol to cope with it :(
diego has a lot of insight for everyone who isn’t himself tbh
vanya about allison and luther: you two were so close...
roommate: and the camera keeps doing lingering shots between you two
how wounded was klaus when he was dropped into vietnam though,,,, poor baby :(
look i am aware exposure therapy is a thing but this is just traumatizing baby klaus and making things worse like,, bro,,, pick up book on psychology or something. like i think you genuinely have to TRY to be that incompetent at raising children jesus
i do like that diego and luther picked up five... and dolores like they don’t really know her significance or anything?? luther was probably like “oh that’s the mannequin from the van earlier it’s five’s” and was like “we gotta bring it with”
luther saying “i hate code names”,,,,, is that,,, projection about their own numbers?? he does say to his father that he doesn’t need to call him number one any more,,,,,,,
vanya’s apartment really has high ceilings huh and is very spacious,,, she lives in a city which means she’s pretty well off?? she’s doing well for herself? like everything is a little on the dingy side but still?????
“I’m with Allison on this one. Don’t trust a man. I would love for this show to prove me wrong though.” - my roommate
show: zooms in on the empty bottle of pills
roommate: HMMMM
where’s the hazel and cha-cha spin off? i want to know why they killed a cheerleader
god how long is episode four
how many episodes of tua are there
klaus over here giving himself concussION
klaus grabbing his coat that??? they have? for ?????? some reason?? i’m still stuck on the coat guys why do they have it he was in a TOWEL
did hazel politely ask klaus if he wanted to grab his coat before he went in the trunk to get kidnapped or something?
aw no patch :(
dieGO PUT DOLORES ON HER OWN CHAIR,,,, bless
and luther pats dolores on the head,,,,,,, i stan two supportive brothers about their siblings weird mannequin relationship
aw diego :( aw patch :(
the real MVP of this episode was dolores
and here is the paranoia agent dog
#tua rewatch#tua s1 ep4#when did bigfoot become a thing anyway#was that in the 1960s??#@ s2 did luther start the bigfoot rumor#what IS the truth#i am very hung up on the coat thing#WHY DO THEY HAVE IT
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How tua tv show ruined hotel oblivion
Before I say anything: THIS IS IN NO WAY AN ATTACK TOWARDS ANYONE YOU ARE 100% FREE TO ENJOY WHATEVER CONTENT YOU WANT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION AND YOU ARE FREE TO DISAGREE (just don’t be an asshole abt and we’re good) also SPOILERS!!! for both tv show and comics
(a while back I saw a post by @fivehargreeves and i have since then been putting off this post bc i want to elaborate on it but i am too lazy and i know i never really post stuff here but this is something i feel really strongly abt especially after that s2 finale)
When I first read the umbrella academy comics one of the things I loved the most about was the world building. It was so crazy and weird (in a good way) and while I still loved the story and characters, for me the most fascinating part of them was the world. It was a world so much like ours, yet completely different and the little details in the background or those offhand mentions of aliens or other "weird" stuff made the tua world feel more alive and interesting. So obviously when n*tflix announced they were adapting the comics into a show i was thrilled. But when I watched it I was... disappointed to say the least :/
Ex. 1 The Umbrella Academy's debut- In the comics, the first time the world met the umbrella academy was when "the day Eiffel Tower went berserk" (literally)
It turns out the Eiffel Tower had been a spaceship all along establishing the first villain in the comics: Zombie Robot Gustave Eiffel. But the innthe tv show we get.... a bank robbery 😐 (not as impressive as the Eiffel Tower imo) THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SUPERHEROES FOR GODS SAKE! Why are they fighting petty crime? Let them fight the Eiffel Tower you cowards!!!
Ex. 2 The Orchestra Verdammten- (@/fivehargreeves post talks specifically abt this issue and summarizes most of my thoughts so i will say very little on this point) In the comics the main antagonist for vol.1 was an orchestra made up of musicians who had gone crazy (for one reason or another) and gone missing after joining the Orchestra Verdammten. But once again the villain is replaced with something very common and might I say mediocre. This as we will see is a running thing in the show: make most of the elements that made the comics stand out and replace them with more common/normal elements.
Ex. 3 Watering down/changing most characters' powers- Would you believe me if I told you it was Klaus that stopped the moon from colliding with earth? No you wouldn’t because in the tv show his powers are so... useless. And he was not the only one who’s powers got watered down (even though he is one of the most notable examples)
Luther/Spaceboy: his powers remain the same (as far as we have seen) however I am detaching points bc i don’t like how his character arc was handled in the show
Diego/The Kraken: first of all WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HES CALLED THE KRAKEN -A MARINE MONSTER- YOU IDIOTS???!!! but seriously, why did they ever think it was a good idea to ever change his powers? It takes away so much from his character! Diego’s power is breathing underwater not whatever object manipulation bullshit they gave him in the show. His powers have NOTHING to do with knife throwing yet he is still as good at it in the comics as in the show; he got that good just from practice. He obsessive with his goals and we don’t get to see that in the show bc they completely changed his powers!!! They just took part of The Séance's and gave them to him! (@/fivehargreeves also has another post on this so go check it out bc it’s better worded than mine)
Allison/The Rumor: Oh my god I could talk about her all day and how dirty they did her in the tv show!!! In the comics Allison has the power to alter REALITY ITSELF
see: (click images to view)
she manifested a whole ass statue to life! And in vol.2 (the Kennedy assassination one) she was the one that killed Kennedy! She made his head explode just by rumoring him. But noooooo they had to sideline her in s2 so they could pursue a side plot for 'wokeness points' (i am happy that they dealt with the racism she would most likely have faced in the 1960's BUT they took away ALL her protagonism in the comics and had her be a minor character) if it hadn’t been for Allison the world would have ended -> murdering Kennedy was the only way to save the world
Klaus/The Séance: ugh where do i start? Klaus is extremely powerful in the comics, like I said he was able to stop the moon from colliding with earth. Not only did they have his powers watered down, they also took away all his telekinetic abilities in the show. Also, the only way his powers can be blocked is when he’s wearing shoes not drugs (i also want to point out that the way his addiction is treated in the show is weird and sometimes even uncomfortable to me but that is another topic for another time). His ability to summon the dead are almost nothing like in the show as compared to the comics he is called The Séance you know but whatever where he not only does he speak TO the dead he can also MANIFEST them through him which was probably the most important factor in stopping Vanya/The White Violin in Apocalypse Suite + not giving him his EXTREMELY WELL DESERVED FAME!!! 😤 THE AUDACITY!!! (I have talked abt Klaus before on another post)
Number Five: I don’t have much to say about him except that he is a lot darker in the comics and not as loving about his family as they make him in the show *cough* shooting vanya in the head *cough* but for the most part.... he’s fine ig (my main problem is they make him idk? too playful(?) in s1 when he actually he is all dry humor and dark jokes)
Ben/The Horror: doesn’t really appear in the comics so nothing to say here
Vanya/The White Violin: not including her transformation in the show was cowardly and having her be manipulated by a man was uh kinda problematic if I may say so. We only ever see her use her powers in vol.1 since she was crippled by getting shot in the head at the end of it and hasn’t been able to do much since then. Her story has been completely changed in the show and i am still not completely sure i like it. Her dealing with trauma and coming to terms with her childhood are quickly brushed away and not really delved into as opposed to the comics where she is still trying to process it
Ex. 4 Technology- The World in the comics is a lot more sci-fi than in the show where it almost an exact copy of ours. For one: the chimpanzees. In the comics Pogo isn’t the only one, we can see a lot of others in the background
Also stuff like the televator or the hotel oblivion are never mentioned or alluded to in the show
Now to get to the main point of this post: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE AT THIS POINT THAT THE TV SHOW WILL BE ABLE TO FOLLOW HOTEL OBLIVION'S PLOT BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON THERE BEING VILLAINS!!!
This are superhero comics! Maybe we don’t see them fighting all the villains that appear in hotel oblivion, but the fact is that they are there! They are part of the world and part of what makes it breathe and come alive on the pages. To paraphrase (albeit a VERY simplified paraphrase) Watchmen (don’t tell me it didn’t influence tua bc IT DID and i can prove it) 'if there are superheroes then there are villains' especially in a world where superpowers exist and technology is a lot more advanced than in watchmen where they were all normal people (with the exception of dr. manhattan). But by dumbing down the world in the show we are left with a flavorless setting that has no effect whatsoever on the plot (compared to the comics). Maybe some aspects like the Sparrow Academy will be included (I am kinda scared to think where they will go with it) but it won’t be Hotel Oblivion. In s1 I could point out where the comics had influenced the show, hell even in s2 you could see the comic's influence but... Hotel Oblivion? I don’t see any possibility of it getting to tv and that’s the truth
#the umbrella academy#hotel oblivion#ua comic#this sucks bc hotel oblivion was probably my favourite volume
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Fandom: The U. mbrella A.cademy
Characters: all the sibs
Pairings: N/A
Tropes: just fluff
Summary: request fill for anon! D.iego gets the flu and it fucks with his powers and he starts freaking out thinking that he's worthless
Warnings/Notes: very short, vague depiction of a character having a mild panic attack
I'm posting from mobile so if the formatting gets fucked up or the post gets cut off, I can't fix it for another like 4 hours give or take
Set in some idealistic Avengers Tower AU (y'know when ppl would write those fics where the Avengers all lived in the tower and would like bro out and actually talk about their problems. Yeah. That, but TUA)
--
When it came to solving problems, Diego Hargreeves tended to beat them into submission with brute force and the liberal application of knives. If he couldn't solve a problem in this manner, he tended to ignore it until it escalated into something he could solve via incredible violence.
Unfortunately, today's problem (inevitably the first of many) was 0% knife-able.
That morning found Diego curled up in bed with a bad case of vertigo and a stinging pain in his throat every time he dared to swallow. He forced himself to get up anyway and had to brace himself against the wall for support as the room spun and his chest began to spasm with the need to cough.
Keeping his wits about him, he stifled the coughing fit behind closed lips. If his siblings found out he was sick, he'd never hear the end of it. They'd think he was weak. That he was useless. After all, Luther never got sick.
The sheer spite made Diego straighten up and get dressed. Fatigue made his joints feel sticky and painful, so he decided to skip his morning workout. Just getting through the day like this would be enough work as it was. He brushed his teeth quickly and decided not to take his temperature-- better to not know. Plausible deniability.
He had to take the stairs at a pace that felt excruciatingly slow compared to his normal light-footed jog. He clung to the banister, painfully aware of the fact that any one of his siblings could pop out onto the landing to witness his pathetic descent. He was just so dizzy and his body ached like he'd spent the night jogging instead of sleeping.
Finally, he reached flat ground and was able to stagger to the kitchen. He wasn't really hungry, but there was no way he was going to skip breakfast and risk losing his hard-earned gains. Besides, maybe he'd feel better after eating.
"You're up early."
Diego jumped and instinctively flung a knife, just barely managing to dampen the force behind his throw as his brain caught up with his body. The knife clattered to the floor, a clumsy, straight trajectory, not at all what Diego had intended. "Hi," he said lamely, not looking at Five.
Five looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "Your ninja skills are getting a little rusty."
Diego continued to stare at the knife on the floor. He'd meant for it to curve and stick in one of the cabinets. "Uh, yeah." He bent to pick up the knife and had to pause and steady himself.
"Your Neanderthal impression on the other hand…" Five put his hands on his hips. "Perfection."
"What's got your shorts in a twist?" Diego asked, not really caring about the answer.
Five got up on his tiptoes, reaching for one of the cabinets. Diego nudged him aside with his hip and got a clean mug down for him.
"Thanks," Five said begrudgingly. "And to answer your question, I'm used to having my morning coffee alone."
"Oh." Diego opened the fridge and muffled a short cough into his elbow, trying to relieve some of the aching pressure in his chest. "I can fuck off for a bit. If you want."
"It's fine."
They were quiet for a moment. Diego stared at the contents of the fridge. Something with protein would be good. Eggs sounded like too much work, too much standing. He wanted to sit. Protein shake? Even the thought of making that sounded like far too much work. Sighing, Diego grabbed the milk and poured himself a glass while Five watched in silence.
"You didn't work out this morning," Five said.
"Is that a fact?" Diego shut the fridge and went to the living room.
Five phased in ahead of him and sat down in the chair Diego had been heading for. "Your hair is dry."
"And?" Diego contemplated just sitting down on Five, but didn't think he'd have the energy for the subsequent wrestling match. He threw himself down on the couch instead.
"And, you always shower after your morning workout."
"I'm cutting," Diego lied. "I'm going for a jog later."
"Interesting. Don't care."
Diego sniffled, annoyed to find that his nose was starting to run. "Why'd you bring it up, then?" he asked, looking around for a spare napkin. Finding nothing, he sniffed again.
"Just letting you know: I notice things, so don't try to pull any shit. And blow your damn nose, you sound like a coke addict."
One by one, the rest of the family came down the stairs and joined them in the living room. Diego tried his best to ignore them, trying to figure out what had gone wrong in the kitchen, but it was hard to concentrate when no one would leave him the fuck alone.
He kept having to leave the room to blow his nose and muffle coughs into his shirt collar, and every time he came back, the ambient noise of his siblings' conversations seemed to grow louder and louder.
"What's got you all broody?" Allison asked upon seeing him return from yet another trip to the bathroom.
"I'm not broody," Diego said, at least vindicated that he didn't sound sick.
"He dropped a knife this morning," Five said to her.
This started up a round of ribbing and teasing that chafed at Diego more than usual. His weak attempts at defending himself went ignored until his ears started to roar. He pulled out a knife and threw it at Klaus, intending for it to stick in the chair's armrest, right between his fingers.
It missed by a mile, thudding against the wall and knocking one of the paintings crooked.
Everyone went quiet.
"Uh, Diego?" Luther asked. "Did you mean to do that?"
"Yeah," Diego said, glaring at him. "Fuck that part of the wall in particular." Despite his best efforts, he started to cough. He managed to choke the fit back into something more manageable, but the damage had been done. Everyone was looking at him.
"Are you okay?" Vanya asked meekly, eyes wide.
"I'm fine."
"That didn't sound fine," Luther said. "You sick?"
"You're sick," Diego said, knowing he sounded like a petulant child but unable to bring himself to care.
Allison studied him. "He's shaking" she said to Luther.
"I said I'm fine," Diego said, batting her hand away. "Five, tell them I'm fine."
"He's sick," Five said to Luther.
"Vanya? Klaus?"
"What are we supposed to do?" Klaus asked.
"Back me up!" Diego ran a hand through his hair, dismayed to find that his forehead was a little sweaty. A thrum of fear had started up in his chest, something he couldn't really explain. He was fine, he could still fight. He wasn't useless.
Luther pointed to a discolored spot on the wall. "Prove it."
"What?"
"If you're fine, hit that spot."
"Fine," Diego growled, trying to ignore the stabbing pain in his throat. He took out another knife and just held it for a moment. He had to concentrate, that was all. He'd been sick before and it didn't affect his powers. He was just psyching himself out, that was all.
He took a deep breath and threw the knife. It was over in a blink. The knife traveled straight forward, whizzing by Luther's head, and stuck in the wall across from Diego, nowhere near where Luther had pointed.
Diego's head went fuzzy.
He could feel his body shaking, hear his siblings' voices. He caught sentence fragments, words without meanings attached to them.
"Allison, move."
"Get his head."
"How long has he been like this?"
The world tilted, sickening. He fought for breaths, trying to clear his head. What was happening? What if his powers never came back?
"Diego?" Hands on his head, fingers tracing patterns against his scalp.
Diego took several deep breaths. He had been moved so he was on his back, and he was holding himself stiff.
"Look at me," the voice said. Unable to connect it to a face, Diego looked up. He'd been manhandled from seated to a supine position with his head in someone's lap, so he had been expecting to see Luther's face.
Instead, it was Klaus who stared down at him, his expression unreadable.
"Hey," Diego said shakily.
"You okay?"
"No, I'm not fucking okay," Diego said. He was hot all over and his hands were shaking and he couldn't use his fucking powers. "I'm useless." He remembered how they'd all treated Vanya, remembered all the awful, cruel things their dad had said about her, that they had said about her. "I'm fucking useless."
"Hey." Allison appeared in his periphery. "Your powers will come back." She put her hand on his cheek and drew it back in surprise. "Luther, he's burning up."
"You're telling me." Klaus shifted, one hand still gently tangled in Diego's hair. "It's like being trapped under an electric blanket."
"So move," Diego grumbled.
"No."
"Why don't I go get a cold compress?" Vanya said from somewhere down by Diego's feet.
"I got it," Five said. The subsequent flash of blue stabbed into Diego's eyes and made his head ache.
"What am I gonna do?" he said.
"What do you mean?" Luther asked.
"Without my powers, I… I'm nothing."
"Oh, you were serious about that?" Klaus said. "I thought you were just being dramatic."
Diego was too tired to point out the irony of Klaus accusing him of being overdramatic.
Another flash of blue. Five leaned over Allison and, with surprising gentleness, laid a damp washcloth over Diego's brow. "You're not useless," he said. "In fact, out of all of us, you might just be the most powerful without the help of spooky extraordinary powers."
"Yeah, right." Diego brought up one hand and coughed into his wrist, prompting a quiet "eewww" from Klaus.
"No, he's right," Vanya said. "You work your ass off every day. Even if you really did lose your powers, you'd still be a badass killing machine."
"And you're the only one of us who kept doing heroics after leaving," Allison said. Luther made a noise of protest followed by a grunt, presumably after Allison nudged him in the side.
"You guys… Do you really think so?" Diego asked. Despite the pep talk, he still couldn't really picture himself without his powers. Without them, he wasn't himself. "I feel like… I mean, what's the point of me if I can't use my powers?"
"Lots of things," Klaus said. "I'm pretty sure you're singlehandedly propping up the leather industry in the US."
"You're a good person," Allison said firmly. "And there's more than one way to help people." Pointedly, she added, "Isn't that right, Luther?"
"Oh. Uh, yeah," Luther said. He sighed. "I really do admire you, Diego. You're so obsessed with saving people it's almost pathological." He chuckled. "I mean… Your biggest character flaw is that you literally care too much. Not many people can say that. You're a hero no matter what."
"Besides," said Five. "Your powers will come back." It's probably just the fever that's screwing with them, same way it's screwing with your emotions and making you all vulnerable and adorable."
"Oh," Diego said thoughtfully. "Shit." He rolled over onto his side and started to cough, finally letting loose what he had been stifling all morning. He curled his head down and did his best to breathe through the spasms that tore through his chest and seemed to rip his throat open until everything from his ribs to his head was on fire.
"Please don't die in my lap," Klaus said. "I don't think I could handle the trauma."
"God, I feel like shit " Diego said, his face buried in Klaus' shirt.
"That tickles," Klaus said.
"Have you taken any medicine, Diego?" Vanya asked.
"No," Diego said.
Klaus wriggled. "Diego, seriously!"
Sighing, Diego rolled over again to face his siblings. "I haven't taken anything."
"Or eaten anything," Five added.
"M'tired," Diego mumbled. The proximity to Klaus' body heat was overwhelming next to the fever simmering under his skin. He wanted to get up and crawl into bed, preferably naked, and sleep. He was in no mood to lie here and listen to siblings squabble over medications. He sat up, prompting a chorus of protests from his siblings.
Luther planted a hand square in the middle of Diego's chest. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Going to bed," Diego said, anger flaring up at the thought of Luther trying to push him around. He swiped Luther's hand away and got to his feet, pleasantly surprised when he didn't immediately collapse back onto the couch.
"I'll help you up the stairs," Luther said.
Diego stepped away from him. "The hell you will."
"You're not going alone," Luther shot back.
"Guys." Vanya stepped between them. "I'll go with him."
"You gonna tuck me in, too?" Diego scoffed and started to walk away. Vanya matched pace with him but didn't touch him. "Thanks, Vanya," Diego said when they were out of earshot of the others.
She shrugged. "You're just sick, it's not like you need to be babied."
They took the stairs slowly, with frequent breaks so Diego could catch his breath. "I just hate feeling like this," he said.
"I know." Vanya smiled sadly. "It's so ugly and… It just makes you feel so small."
They reached Diego's room. He pushed the door open and got into bed without bothering to take off any of his clothes. "Vanya," he started, unsure of where to go with him the rest of the sentence.
"I should go get the others," she said, hovering by the doorway. "Before they kill each other arguing about, I don't know, Aleve versus Advil."
"Vanya," Diego said again. "I, um. I want to teach you how to fight."
"What?" She looked at him, baffled.
"I know you don't really need it, I just… It's something I want to do."
She smiled, an actual, genuine smile. "I think I'd like that."
"Good."
"Do you want anything to eat?" Vanya asked. "Allison is probably going to make soup, but if there's anything you want in the meantime..?"
"I don't know." Diego leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. "Water would be great."
"Don't go to sleep yet," Vanya said. "I'm sure Five will be here with medicine any second now."
"Yeah, yeah." Diego waved a hand.
Vanya laughed quietly. "I'll get you a glass of water."
"Thank you, Vanya." Her footsteps faded away and Diego sighed.
Maybe it was time to drop the lone wolf thing and start embracing life as a pack member.
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Hi! Just saw your WIPS post, if you’re willing would you mind telling a bit more about your Sexworker Klaus AU and Vanya’s book in the museum verse (not sure if someone has already asked about these two, sorry if I missed it!)... thank you so much!!! :3
Hehehe I’m sorry for my slow reply. I was HOPING to have the Vanya’s Book in Museum ‘verse finished by now for Kliego week, but unless I pull off a miracle, it’s probs not gonna happen in time....
Thank you for asking about theseeeeee. I’m sorry my reply is a novel!!!
But.
Here's a tiny snip for the Vanya's Book....
But Diego and Klaus were different. I was never quite sure what to make of them. They didn't seem to share the same energy as Luther and Allison. But I saw how Diego—Diego who was so quick to anger, to take offence, to throw out cruel words—softened around Klaus. It never really made sense to me.
Klaus was not the sweetest of our brothers. He was loud, and forever interrupted everyone, including Dad. Whenever anyone cut Diego off, they'd be met with anger, sometimes stuttered, sometimes not. When Klaus interrupted, Diego stopped, listened.
Klaus may have let Allison paint his fingernails, but he was also the one who stood up to Dad the most after Five left.
He wasn't particularly good at arguing, and his points didn't make sense, but his temper rivaled Diego's and his self-control was lacking. It was not unusual for Klaus to limp out of Dad's office with a puffy, tear-stained face, and a stubborn expression that could have matched Five's.
*
OKAY. SO. I HAVE SOME OPINIONS TM ABOUT KLAUS AS A SEX WORKER.
Or rather, I have Opinions TM about how sex work in general is portrayed in fics. Not just TUA. But... fics. In general.
So... Full disclosure. I know a lot of sex workers. Like. A lot. Like, a good proportion of my RL friends back in my home country are full-service-sex-workers. IDK, I'm in the kink scene, met a few there. Was in a poly relationship and one of my metamours was a sex worker. My best friend in Australia is a sex worker and when I go to her birthday parties, I meet loadddds of them. I know a lot of them. I used to hang with my best friend several times a week. I don't have the experiences of a SWer but.... I know one or two things that I don't think that fic really captures... And it's that Sex Workers are pretty normal people.
So. Basically. I come from a place where I view Sex Work relatively positively, and like many other jobs in that there are good days and bad days.
Yes, there are a lot of survival sex workers. That's a wholeeee other kettle of fish, and it's heartbreaking and emotional, and just so fucked up. A lot of sex workers that I have met started it from the necessity that... well. It was necessary. Some were homeless. Some were almost homeless. And then some... One girl talks about how she turned 18 and walked into a brothel that day because that's all she'd ever wanted to do.
There are also some who make absolute bank.But most of them? Normal people. They might have slightly nicer bags or shoes, but they're not rolling around in Burberry and Bordelle.
Sometimes she'd cancel dinner at the last minute for a last minute booking because she needed to make rent that week. Sometimes, she'd be like "So I'm free earlier! Wanna come over for wine and cheese?"
AnYwAy.... I got a bee in my bonnet and was all "...I wanna write Klaus as a normal sex worker!!"
It's not a stretch to imagine that Klaus has done survival sex work. He's heavily implied it in the show too. But I had this idea that maybe... there were moments in his life... where his life was a little more like the SWers I knew...
And then.... I had the prompt of "Eyes up now. Look at me." from wayyyyy back when.
And... The plan is/was/is/was/idk anymore/is to have Diego going to see a sex worker about a particular kink he has.... And being ashamed of that kink. And encountering an ad that he thinks might be a good fit. And showing up and... oh! It's Klaus!! Oh.....
And Klaus is like ".....well, you're here. I want my money, we may as well do this ;)"
SNIP SNOP SNAPPITY BOP
Diego exhaled slowly and before his nerves could any further slow him down, he knocked sharply at the apartments door. It was a modest place in a normal part of the city. The paint was fresh on the walls, and it was clean for inner-city. Nothing crazy fancy, but definitely a few steps above his boiler room.
"It's open!" A voice came from inside the apartment and Diego hesitantly pushed inside.
It was nice, if a little cluttered. Definitely not the terrifying sex dungeon a part of him had expected. There were dream catchers hanging in a few spots, and wind chimes beside the door that lead out to a small balcony. There were some plants on the balcony and Diego squinted; those herbs were certainly not for the kitchen.
There was an enormous rug under a coffee table, and two well-used couches sat facing each other.
And fairy lights. There were a lot of fairy lights.
"Hello darling," a very familiar voice said as someone exited the kitchen to the left.
Klaus pulled up short, eyes wide.
Diego was frozen in place.
"Diego," Klaus said, the first to recover. "Lovely to see you, all that jazz, et cetera, et cetera, but you need to leave. I'm expecting someone any moment now," Klaus said, putting his hands on Diego's shoulders and manhandling him towards the door.
"Uh, yeah, about that," Diego said awkwardly, not letting himself be shoved any further.
Klaus stopped. "Ex-squeeze me?"
Diego said nothing.
"Oh come on," Klaus whined. He folded his arms across his chest, which Diego was only now registering was bare. He was wearing a short, silky kimono which barely grazed the tops of his thighs, his bare chest quite visible like this. "Dario?"
"Maybe?"
Klaus studied him through narrowed eyes. "Did you make all of this up, just to come and lecture me about how I shouldn't be doing this? Because if that's your objective, you can get the fuck out."
Diego's cheeks were flaming. His jaw was hurting from how tightly he was clenching it.
"Ugh!" Klaus said, throwing his arms in the air. "I'm going to make some tea. Just… Sit down."
Diego did so awkwardly. He looked around the room again, trying to note things just to distract himself. There was eclectic art on the walls, and now that Diego knew this was Klaus' place, he was not at all surprised at the decor.
Off of the small living space were three doors. One for the kitchen, one where he could see a low-lit room with a bed in it, and the third that he assumed was a bathroom.
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The Here and Now (Through the Years CH2)
Summary: Five has returned, and no one expected the condition that he would be in. Can (Y/n) and Five navigate the major set backs, thwart the Apocalypse, and resume their happily ever after?
Five Hargreeves x F!reader
Word count: 11k total
Warnings: TUA typical violence, angst, awkward interactions, brief mention of spicy time, brief description of depression
Also posted on AO3!
She stared blankly at the young man that stood distressed on her porch. “Five…I….Hurry up, get inside.” Her hand darted out to grab the sleeve of his tailored blazer, and she quickly dragged him through the threshold. He awkwardly stood in the foyer of their house, with his hands shoved in the pockets of his shorts.
“(Y/n) this is a nightmare. I’m an old man trapped in this body. Ever had growing pains and indigestion at the same time?” He glowered up at her. A quiet snicker escaped from her lips. “You think this is funny? Huh?”
The snicker sparked a roar of laughter that erupted deep from her belly, and Five could do nothing but stare blankly at her. He considered the last time he saw her looking genuinely this amused by something was the day of their wedding after they had tossed his Commission tracking device.
“I mean, no. It’s not funny. It’s just…ridiculous. I waited all this time. Counted all these days. And you show up here….like….” she gestures vaguely. “It’s absolutely absurd, and honestly, kind of unfair. Here is was, expecting my 100% normal, thirty year old husband to poof into my house today. And I get the awkward teenager slash old man version of you. This is too much.” She dramatically wiped tears from her eyes.
“Okay, are you done now?” Five stated frankly, with no hint of irritation. He opened his arms to her and she met his embrace, throwing her arms over his shoulders.
“It’s really hard to hug you like this. You lost a few inches in the fray, buddy.” She pressed a kiss onto the top of his head. He pulled away from her to protest, but she just pulled him back in tightly.
“Come on my grumpy little man. Let’s get you over to the Academy and see if your family can possibly help with this. They’re used to things outside of the ordinary.
The couple walked down the street, awkwardly meeting the glances of everyone around them. The uniform jacket was telling, and it was apparent that everyone was shocked to see the prodigal son of the Umbrella Academy, alive and in the flesh, looking exactly how he did nearly fifteen years ago. A man pushing a two seat baby stroller gave them a wide berth on the sidewalk, and gave (Y/n) a double take.
“(Y/n) (Y/L/M/N)?” He proclaimed, causing Y/n to screech to a halt. She turned to face the man, quickly glancing down at the stoller.
“Um, yes? It’s actually (Y/n) Hargreeves now, but yes, that’s me.” Realization dawned on her, and hit her in the face like a runaway freight train. “Uh, how are you, (ex F/n)?”
“I’m great! So great, it’s really fantastic to see you! I’m just on the way to surprise the wife at work, it’s her first week back after her maternity leave, and I know she’s missing the kiddos.” (Y/n) glanced down at the pair of cooing babies in the stoller. “And who’s this strapping young gentleman? I didn’t know you had a little brother.”
Five took an immediate offensive stance. “I’m Five Hargreeves, and I’m her HUSBAND.”
“Oh, God I’m sorry. I guess you just looked a little different the last time I saw you….At our, uh, or rather, your, uh. Wedding.” The young man stammered, and (Y/n) watched Five grow increasingly more irritated.
“Yep, Five is a time traveler extraordinaire. Just had a little mishap with his calculations. He’s not normally a teenager, or anything. Like, it’s not like that at all, I mean…God that sounds so weird. Sorry.” She was beginning to grow flustered, and no longer felt the need to explain herself. “It was nice seeing you, we’ve got to be going now.” Her arm linked around Five’s, as she began dragging him away.
“Well you couldn’t have possibly made that any more awkward,” Five fretted at her. “Bad enough you dumped him at the alter and now you had to explain how your husband, who I don’t know if I mentioned it already, but you DUMPED HIM FOR, is stuck in a teenage body.”
She whipped around him in front of him, staring him down. “Look, you don’t get to be angry at me for your mistake. It’s not my fault that you aren’t even old enough to DRIVE now.”
“Well you could have driven if you had ever taken the time to learn how to drive a stick shift.” Five puffed up his chest to look tougher, but it was futile in his current form.
“You’re the one who was never around long enough to teach me how to do it.” He flinched, and she instantly felt a wave of guilt wash over her. “Five, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. We’re both just…tense right now. The world is ending, you’re hormonal and also crabby because you probably won’t get to take advantage of the senior citizen discount at Griddy’s today.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at her. The moment he fell through the portal, and realizing his body was now in shambles due to his miscalculations, all he could think was how she would react. Would she faint? Would she promptly turn him away? Instead, she surpassed all of his expectations and was making jokes at his expense. He paused for a moment and grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. “You know, now more than ever, I’m so glad I married you. I can’t imagine anyone else being able to handle this curveball.”
“What can I say, Mr. Hargreeves. You had me on the hook for a long time. A little hiccup like this isn’t going to scare me off.” He smiled, lacing his fingers with hers as they continued down the street, the Umbrella Academy looming just a few blocks ahead.
The pair quietly entered the front door, only to be bombarded by all of the siblings at once. Five sulked behind his wife, as each of his family members warmly embraced her. Klaus picked her up and spun her around, quickly locking eyes with his brother.
“Oh Jesus Christ, what do we have here?” Klaus murmured, gently placing (Y/n) down on the ground. “If it isn’t our dear little brother, alive and in the flesh…And perhaps a few inches shorter than last time we saw you, hm?”
Allison spoke next without giving Five a chance to respond, a look of shock on her face. “So I’m guessing something wasn’t quite right with your math, was it?”
Five pulled on the sleeves of his blazer. “You can say that again. I fucked up royally. That’s the least of our concerns now though. We only have a few days to stop the Apocalypse from happening, and I still have no idea how we’re going to do it.”
Days had passed, and the family was no closer to determining the catalyst of the Apocalypse than they were when Five and (Y/n) had returned to the Academy. They sat around the kitchen table on the day that Five had so loudly proclaimed would be the end of the world, all eyes sunken in from lack of sleep. Luther dragged his hands down his face, as he looked over at Five sulking over his late night cup of coffee. “Maybe it’s just inevitable. We should have had at least some clue by now.”
Allison scanned over the newspapers scattered along the table. “I mean, there’s nothing in the news that indicates anything out of the ordinary. Nothing political, no threats of nuclear warfare, literally nothing.”
“Or maybe it’s just not going to happen at all? I mean, today is the day isn’t it? Everything has been completely normal.” (Y/n) yawned, her forehead meeting the wooden table
“Maybe it’s you, little brother,” Klaus said, pausing to light the joint pressed between his lips. “I mean, think about it. You’re the only one who experienced the end of the world. Did you ever think, maybe it has something to do with you?” Vanya nodded her head in agreement.
“Klaus might actually have a point. Have you done anything you know of to alter the timeline at all?”
“Yeah, you know like, in time travel movies where someone accidentally kills a bug and it causes the entire future to change? Killed any bugs lately, Five? Or like, Presidents, or whatever it was you had to do with the Commission?” Klaus coughed.
Five thought for a moment, taking a sip of his coffee. “Not really, before I left the Commission, I only did one thing….” (Y/n) jerked her head up from the table, eyes widening. The family looked at him expectantly, then over to her. “You know, the whole crashing her wedding day thing. The head of the Commission, the Handler warned me she would kill us, but I didn’t really think much about it.” The group collectively groaned.
Diego stabbed a blade into the table. “Well, these are the kinds of things you might want to tell us, Five. Your former boss literally threatening to murder you seems like a pretty good reason to be on high alert.”
A loud rap at the front door of the Academy put everyone on high alert. They all rose from their spots, quietly making their way towards the door.
“Hey, maybe it’s the Apocalypse knocking. We can just ignore it, maybe they’ll think we aren’t home.” Klaus whispered, throwing the remains of his spent joint into a potted plant. Diego peeked out a window near the door.
“It’s some blonde woman in a dress. Sound familiar?” He whispered, and Five immediately straightened his tie.
“Yep, I’ll take this.” He moved towards the door to unlock it, coming face to face with the Handler.
“Good evening, Five…Assorted Hargreeves.” She flourished her hand, shoving past Five into the living room, depositing a large briefcase by the door. “And Mrs. Hargreeves, a pleasure to see you once again.” (Y/n) felt her heart tighten in her chest, recalling the last ill fated encounter with the woman, and the impossible choice she posed for the pair.
“Wish I could say the same,” (Y/n) scoffed. “Care to tell us why you’re here? You’re getting a bit too familiar with these unexpected housecalls.” The family gathered around her in a protective stance, and she felt the tightness in her chest dissipate.
“Well, I did advise you that I’d be back at a date of MY choosing to dispose of the pair of you, didn’t I?” The Handler towered over (Y/n) in her heels, frowning down at her.
Five shook his head. “That wasn’t part of the deal. I came back to the Commission, I did what you asked, and you sent me to that God-forsaken wasteland.”
She advanced towards Five. “Ah, yes, that much is true. But what I didn’t anticipate was you defying the odds. Do you know what the odds were that you’d be able to time travel back to any point in time to your wife?” She emphasized, venom dripping in her voice. “One in thirty million. Now, wouldn’t you say, the odds of that are simply astronomical?” Five looked over at (Y/n) and his family.
She paused, looking back at the family, then pointed her icy gaze to (Y/n). “You two couldn’t just leave well enough alone, could you?” The Handler smirked at the distressed boy, as she positioned herself in between him and his wife. “Did you really think I could allow you to take everything from me?”
“I didn’t do anything to you. I did my job, I did my time. I just want to live the rest of my life with my wife.” He glowered at her, as she chuckled.
“Five, tell me, why do you think I had such a vested interest in you and your boring little wife here, in your holy union, hm?” She gestured behind her. He shrugged.
“I haven’t the inkiest, enough with the damn riddles, why don’t you fill us all in on why you’re so hell bent on killing us?”
The Handler nonchalantly looked at the gun in her hand, then turned towards (Y/n), cocking it in her direction. “It’s really nothing personal, dear. It’s about your baby. Specifically, the baby that you’re set to have in…oh…” She thought a beat, “four years, give or take. If I eliminate you now, the Apocalypse can resume right on schedule.” The family exhaled a collective gasp.
Klaus laughed, “Well, congratulations to my dear brother and his wife on their non-existent baby. But I have to ask, when did you get in the business of murdering babies?”
“Let me break it down for you. If Five had followed orders, he never would have married (Y/n). (Y/n) would have settled down with….that boring guy, what’s his name? Five would have continued working for the Commission, and everything would have been hunky dory. But the moment he defied his orders, the entire timeline changed. He and (Y/n) had their happily ever after, and eventually, (Y/n) will give birth to a beautiful, bouncing baby girl. Not just a girl though, the most powerful time traveler in history, in any timeline. With the inherited skills of her father, and with the complex ability of their mother to become a big flashing beacon in the space-time continuum, which might I add, didn’t seem like much until we determined Five could find her in ANY timeline under any circumstance, you have a recipe for someone powerful enough to overthrow the entire Commission, namely me. Because this child was born, the entire scenario for the Apocalypse was avoided completely, no matter what variables we changed, infinitely into the future. It just never happens. The only variable that changed was me. My entire life’s work, bypassed, like a bump in the road. The Apocalypse that I deemed absolutely necessary, gone, thanks to a single choice.”
Allison stared at the Handler incredulously. “So what you’re really saying, is you’re too selfish and drunk off power to give it up. Someone more suited to the job, who doesn’t even exist yet, is so much of a threat to you, that you’ll eliminate anyone involved?”
“Well, I was only going to eliminate (Y/n), I don’t particularly enjoy getting my hands messy. There would have been no greater delight than seeing Five suffer for his indiscretions; however, since the whole family is here, I might as well make a day of it.”
Chaos erupted in the expanse of the Umbrella Academy’s living room. (Y/n) wasn’t sure who cast the first stone, but a flurry of bullets began raining down on the Hargreeves family. Diego curved as many of the bullets as he could, as he ushered her towards the hallway. She craned her neck to peer over his shoulder, desperately trying to find Five in the fray, as she was shoved into a bedroom in the hallway, a gun being thrust into her hands by her brother-in-law. In defeat, she pressed herself against the wooden door, trying to hear anything at all, only to be met with the sounds of glass and furniture breaking, guns being fired, indiscernible shouts of her family fighting for their lives.
Gathering her resolve, she crept from the room, unable to stand not knowing what was occurring just beyond the walls. Gun outstretched in front of her, she quietly made her way down the hall, just as all of the fighting abruptly stopped.
“Where the hell did she go?” Vanya hissed, as the family peered around, puzzled. “We had her pinned down?”
Luther cautiously evaluated the rest of the family. “I don’t like this one bit. She wouldn’t just zap out of her, would she?” Allison looked towards the front door, noting the telltale briefcase that sat by the door.
“She’s still here somewhere, she couldn’t get out without the briefcase.”
(Y/n) peeked around the corner glancing around at the scene before her. All of the lightbulbs in the room had been mostly shattered and the room was awash with the little light that shone in through the innumerable windows. In the dim light, chairs and tables could be seen upturned and scattered around the room.
“Five?” She called out weakly, in a desperate bid to get his attention. His gaze quickly turned towards her, and a look of terror overtook his features. A loud pop resounded through the space, and a searing pain shot through the center of her chest. Slowly, (Y/n) peered down, noting the slow stream of dark red that stained the front her shirt. Everything started to go black, as Five rushed towards her.
“What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO?” He screamed at the Handler who stood smugly behind where (Y/n) had collapsed on the floor. Five removed his blazer and pressed the fabric to her steadily bleeding chest.
“Restoring order, that’s what, Five. Her being alive was a conflict of interest I suppose you could say. I think there’s going to be a little change of plans though, seeing the anguish on your face, I think that’s the best punishment I could ask for.” She glided past the family towards the briefcase, and no one moved.
“(Y/n) please stay with me, stay awake, you’re going to be fine.” Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes, as he desperately fumbled with the compress on her chest. Her breath began to slow, as she reached up and pressed a hand to Five’s cheek. Klaus crouched down beside the pair, and placed his hand over Five’s.
“Five, I can feel her leaving. She isn’t going to make it.” Klaus whispered, remorseful. Five stood beside her, the space all around him glowing blue.
“I didn’t come all this way through time just to lose her.” He tightly shut his eyes, and the room began moving slowly in reverse, the Handler moving slowly backwards towards the clandestine hallway. (Y/n)’s crumpled form rose from the spot on the ground, the dark blood receding back into her body, as Five’s nose began bleeding profusely from his efforts. He felt himself weaken, as the scene resumed before him.
“Where the hell did she go?” Vanya hissed, looking towards Five who stood in his new spot near the hallway. “We had her pinned down?”
“She’s in the hallway,” he replied weakly. “She’s going to kill (Y/n). I just….reversed time by just a few minutes. We have to make sure she doesn’t kill her this time.” A moment later, (Y/n) peered around the corner. Five rushed forward with the last bit of strength he had left, pulling her into the living room and shoving her aside as he collapsed on top of her. The Handler revealed herself, looking thoroughly confused. The gun fell to her side.
“Well, this is certainly odd. Did our boy just manipulate time here? So much power, so much wasted on a perfectly normal girl.”
Klaus strode forward, fists illuminated. “She’s not perfectly normal, she loves Five and that’s a feat all on its own. The kid’s hard to love, no doubt about that, but she does, and that’s worth saving.” In a flash, a barrage of tentacles burst forth from his chest, and the ghostly figure of Ben could be seen just beyond Klaus’s form. The Horror reached forth, grabbing onto the Handler’s limbs, gruesomely tearing her apart bit by bit. The family looked on in shock at the grisly scene, until there was nothing left of the Handler but a puddle of blood and gore, spewed on the floor and walls.
And just like that, the Handler was gone, ripped apart by otherworldly forces that seeped from Klaus’s body. The family stood, stark-still, covered in entrails, before erupting in fits of laughter. Luther swept Allison up in his arms, her shrieking delightedly. “I can’t believe that’s it. That it was just that easy. Klaus, I think dad might have been wrong about your powers being totally useless.”
Klaus’s hands were still shaking, as he peered down at them in disbelief. “That….bitch. I can’t believe she would have just killed (Y/n) to intentionally cause the Apocalypse. And (Y/n)…” he shot a glance over at her. “I can’t believe you were the key it all along.”
She hadn’t moved. The ringing in her ears had barely subsided, when she pressed her hands into Five’s chest to meet him face to face. His expression was barely readable, save for the telltale upturn of the corners of his mouth. The words came out so soft, the family could barely make it out. “Our baby? The Handler couldn’t handle the idea of being replaced…That’s why. That’s why they warned me we couldn’t be together. Why they tortured me, making me see you be with that asshole over and over again. If we were together, the Apocalypse would never even happen. I really ruined her timeline, didn’t I?” He chuckled, rolling over onto the bloody floor, wiping his nose of his own blood.
Diego walked across the room towards the phone, wiping his knives on his already bloodied pants. Vanya looked at him incredulously. “Diego what on earth are you doing? Is now really time to make a phone call?”
He picked up the phone and dialed quickly. “It is. I’m calling (Y/f/n). Knowing how close we were to the whole world ending, I’m not taking anymore chances.” (Y/n) turned to him, shocked.
“You know, she’s been hung up on you for years, Diego. I think everyone deserves a chance at a happy ending, now.” Five stood and stretched his hand down to hers and pulled her up. He carefully snaked his arm around her waist, pressing a chaste kiss on her bare and bloodied shoulder. “Even us, Five.”
He smiled, peering up at her through his dark hair. “Especially us, Mrs. Hargreeves. Especially us.”
Luther lurched over to the liquor cabinet, and sighed. “You know, I know it’s usually Klaus that suggests we start drinking, but I propose we go ahead and pop one of these nice bottles and celebrate tonight.” And they did. Vanya pulled out her violin, creating lively, happy music for the group as they danced and laughed around the living room. Allison stole a not so secret kiss from Luther, and the family loudly teased them, secretly grateful that they were no longer hiding their affections after so many years. Klaus was able to manifest Ben once more, who although he couldn’t drink, still engaged in the party just as much as any living person could. Diego had snuck out quietly sometime after his phone call, and (Y/n) hoped with all hope that he was finally going to apologize for being a such a jerk to her closest friend.
Five had pulled her into what she could only describe as an “awkward middle school style slow dance”, with her arms clasped loosely around his shoulders as they swayed side to side. “You know”, Five started, “my father taught all of us how to ballroom dance as kids.”
(Y/n) laughed, pulling him in a bit closer. “Is there anything you can’t do, Five? You’re remarkable.”
“Well obviously I’m not great at time travel, but I think those days might be behind me. At least, after I figure out how to get my normal body back.” He frowned. “(Y/n), have you considered what we’re going to do if I’m stuck like this? Permanently?”
She considered him for a moment. “Truthfully, no. I hadn’t really considered that to be a possibility. I mean, it would be kind of nice, you’d be able to take care of me when I get old and senile.” He pushed his foot forward and tripped her, easily causing her to lose her balance in her tipsy state . “HEY! Come on, Five, you know I’m kidding. I think…..I think we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? I love you. I love you no matter what. Even if we can’t really….do the thing normal married people do. It’ll be okay.” She yawned, slowing her movements.
“I admire your persistent optimism. But my wife appears to be growing weary. Want to go relax in the library while I go over some of my old notes?” She nodded, craning down to place her head on his shoulder. “Alright, let’s go.” He gently pulled her arm across the back of his shoulders, and they made their way towards the stairs, calling out their goodnights to the family as they went.
The math was right there all along, in one of his oldest, most worn down notebooks. In disbelief, he reread his notes over and over, and was sure he couldn’t have possibly gotten it wrong. (Y/n) was dozing off in the plush arm chair, and he took a moment to admire her: all of the stress from the impending doom was gone. No tell-tale gunshot wound, no signs of excessive blood-loss. Her shoulders were no longer tense, the space between her eyes no longer creased. A peaceful expression had fallen over her, as though she would be perfectly content to live out her days in that chair with Five’s company, illuminated only by the small lamp in the middle of the table.
He drew a large red circle around the offending equation, and rose from his spot. He peered down at her snoozing form, and ran his hand through her hair. Careful not to wake her, he placed the notebook on the arm of the chair and strode quietly towards the door, knowing what he had to do.
He whispered something softly to himself, towards the empty hallways of the Academy.
The ocean waves were breaking softly along the shore, now littered with seashells after an afternoon rainstorm. The only chaos that remained was the wind that whipped through her hair, now unruly and wild from the rain. She turned around and saw him standing there, frozen in time with a grin on his face. Everything moved in slow motion as she ran towards him, crashing into his embrace. His palms rested on her cheeks, capturing her in a passionate kiss, until a small voice interrupted them.
“Mommy? Daddy?” She turned to peer down at the source of the small voice, to be met by a tiny girl with dark hair and verdant green eyes. Five bent down, finding purchase under the child’s arms, hoisting her to his chest. (Y/n) gingerly kissed the child’s forehead, then pressed another dizzying kiss to Five’s lips. He whispered words against her flesh that she had read so long before, words that were so real, she’s certain she couldn’t have dreamed them. “If something happens, just know I’ll find you eventually. I promise.”
(Y/n) woke with a start, knocking something off the arm of the chair. She slowly reached down, peering down at the foreign numbers and figures, outlined in bold red, then glanced across the room. Five was no longer situated at the table, and she began to panic. The woman leapt from her chair, sprinting down the hallway, shouting at the top of her lungs.
“Five? Five where are you?!” The pounding of her feet and the thundering of her pulse led her straight to his childhood room’s door. Before she could connect with the doorknob, a flash of blue illuminated the space beneath the door, accompanied by the telltale “pop” of her husband attempting some sort of jump. She flung the door open wide, only to be met once again with darkness. The room was empty: Five was gone. Again.
Weeks had passed, maybe even months at this point. (Y/n) wasn’t sure. No longer having the list of dates to guide her now that the Apocalypse had been avoided, she had, for the most part, lost herself in time. She could only assume it was midday, judging by the light that cascaded through the windows. Padding down the halls of their still empty home, she stopped to stare at herself in the bathroom mirror: her eyes had grown weary, and her hair was a matted mess, sticking up in all directions. Gently, she prodded at her ribs, which protruded slightly more than usual, a testament to her terrible diet since Five had…..Disappeared? That didn’t feel like the right word for it. Someone can’t disappear when this is their entire modus operandi. The absences were something she had grown accustomed to, but this time felt entirely different. There was no carefully curated list of dates, handwritten by Five. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing to expect. Not even a “goodbye” or “I’ll see you soon” to soothe her addled brain, only the words echoed in her dream from the note he wrote her as a child.
Starting the shower, she went through the motions. “This is what he would want me to do, right?” She thought to herself. “He would want me to try to be normal. Whatever that means.” Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. “Come on, don’t cry. You cried it all out the first week. You’re too dehydrated to cry anymore.” Throwing her clothes haphazardly across the bathroom, she climbed into the shower.
And there she sat. She sat on the floor of the walk-in shower until the water ran cold. When she finally collected herself from the floor and wrapped herself in an oversized towel, she could have sworn she caught the wafting scent of coffee, but she waved it off as wishful thinking. (Y/n) glided towards the kitchen, a towel-clad phantom of a person haunting her home. Just beyond the threshold, she stopped dead in her tracks. A full pot of coffee sat brewed on the countertop, steam floating towards to ceiling. For a moment her breath left her lungs. Clutching her towel to her tightly, she raced towards the living room where Five Hargreeves, looking about fifteen years older than their last encounter, sat on the couch. The moment he laid eyes on her, he moved towards her as fast as his legs would carry him, stopping short as he saw her chest heaving in what he could only assume to be rage.
“I can explain. I can explain everything.” Five spoke calmly, as though he were trying to persuade an animal to not attack him. “I had the equations right years ago, I just didn’t realize it before. I was such a cocky asshole kid back then. I knew I could make this jump, it had to be just the right moment in time to get it perfect, to get me back to my normal body. Back to you.”
“Are you….Are you really home? For good? Just like this?” Her breathing was still erratic, knuckles turning with how tightly she squeezed the towel.
“For good.” He nodded, taking a step closer.
“And no more big jumps? No more accidentally getting stuck in the wrong body?”
“Nope. No more Commission. No more assassinations. I think it’s time to grow old…again. The right way.” He reached towards her, his palms resting on her shoulders.
“And what’s the right way, Five?” She closed her eyes, relishing in the warmth of his hands.
“Together. With you.”
She moved so quickly Five was afraid he may not be able to grab her in time. She darted forward, throwing her arms and legs around him, nearly knocking him to the ground. He supported her weight and held her flush against him. A sob erupted from her against the side of his neck.
“Promise me, Five. Promise you won’t ever leave me like that again. I was so scared you were gone. For good. That you would be lost and I would have no idea.” She grabbed his face, kissing him in earnest over and over, her lips salty from the broken dam of tears that ran down her face. “God, I never want to stop kissing you. It feels like I haven’t been able to in ages.”
Five felt his emotions getting the better of him, and thought for a moment that he may cry. “You know I was always going to make it back to you. My lighthouse.” He smiled against her kiss, returning it with equal fervor.
“Take me to bed, Five. I think we need to make up for lost time, no pun intended.”
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DRUCK reactions - s4 ep3
Featuring: the clip that made me infinitely more interested in the season.
Oops, I forgot to link to the Nadia clip twitter thread. It’s there now!
(Thanks again to @wodrueckts! 💛)
CLIP 1: What is this, a tent for ants?
LISTEN. Tua is already the smallest in the girl squad, and that tent doesn’t even look like she can lay fully stretched out inside.
I was so disturbed by this that I looked up 1-person tents, and they don’t look that small! They are longer and thinner.
Amira’s mom comes outside and she’s also disturbed, but not by Amira using a toddler-sized tent, but Amira going camping at all. She’s like, we’re going to have a conversation about traveling while hijabi, but Amira isn’t in the mood.
And her mood is further spoiled because Sam texts her hoping that she can hook her up with Mohammed.
Amira’s mom brings her some pepper spray, and holy shit! Is that legal in Germany? (Answer: yes, it is, but it’s sold as “animal repellent.”)
I’ve traveled on my own before but I’ve always stayed in B&Bs, hostels or hotels. Ngl I wouldn’t even couchsurf at a stranger’s without some kind of protective device, like a portable door lock. I would never carry a weapon because you never know if you’re going to use it properly in the heat of the moment, but something like a personal alarm for runners would work in a camping setting. Take care of yourself if you’re traveling on your own!
CLIP 2: Lemonade pining
Jonas is going on about supporting sea rescue efforts of African migrants in the Mediterranean Sea, a big topic last year because of the Salvini administration (in Italy) approving a law to fine migrant rescue ships. Salvini has been ousted since, and sea rescue has disappeared from the news what with 2020 being a dumpster fire and all.
Essam, high on power, demands that his slave Amira makes him some lemonade, but I already described my issues with this storyline last week. After threatening Amira with the ever classic sibling-on-sibling physical violence, Amira relents.
Mohammed comes in as Amira is sulkily preparing some lemonade for Essam, and he makes a flirty comment about Amira’s ice cold stare again.
The sweet thing about Mohammed is that he fully admits that he finds Amira intimidating, like he totally recognizes that Amira can be unapproachable when she wants to (even though Amira M. is also one of the friendliest Sanas), but like… For one thing he doesn’t neg her about it. He’s playful about Amira being scary, but he’s not trying to bring her down. And for another, Mohammed tries to find ways in which he fits into Amira’s life or can help her in some way.
This will keep coming up with them, but it happens here when he thinks of a way to prank Essam and, as a result, cheer Amira up.
Peep at the interaction between Amira and Mohammed when they come out with the lemonade. They don’t exchange a word, but they’re such a team.
CLIP 3: Beware bicyclists
Amira, apparently still on a high since the lemonade prank, is strolling down the street singing to herself, as I believe most of us have done at some point.
Jonas asks for Amira’s help with his solidarity party, further characterizing Amira as the one they all go to for help.
Sam also texts Amira. She’s found Mohammed’s insta, which makes Amira’s face fall for a moment… Even though Mohammed keeps seeking Amira out, it feels like Sam might be able to hook up with him through sheer force of will? Or maybe Amira is kinda hoping Sam’s crush goes away, but it ain’t.
There’s something really Formal about that family photo that makes it lowkey funny, like I can imagine that pic being one Mohammed’s family sends to their relatives (caption about family and all), instead of one would post on instagram. Somehow, you can feel Mohammed’s latent dad energy just waiting to be discovered.
Even though this wasn’t the way Amira wanted to come across that pic, Mohammed just looks so damn fine that she can’t help but zoom in on his face, a Druck classic at this point.
And she’s so focused on the thirst that she almost gets run over by an islamophobic bicyclist, who thoroughly spoils her day.
This is such a Northern Europe thing btw. I think each one of my friends who has lived in the bike using part of Europe for any period of time has a story about a bicyclist yelling profanities at them. It’s like they’re saving the planet with their lack of gas use so they have to be extra dickish to compensate for their do gooding.
Amira also looks around as this happens, maybe to see if someone else witnessed what happened (for support?).
Anyway, Amira is so angry that she double texts Sam (or possibly just texts? I checked a couple times and it isn’t clear that she sent Sam the text where she translates the caption about family) to be careful with Mohammed as Arabs will fuck you over. She does a double take to herself, like she’s checking with herself that this was appropriate, and seems to decide it is.
I really dislike the context here. When this happened on Skam, it was part of a larger conversation between Sana and Noora where it was clear that Sana was repeating stereotypes in order to discourage Noora’s interest. And even in that conversation, what Sana said is that Muslim guys will sleep with white Norwegians because they put out, but in the end they marry Muslim girls. So rather than saying, he’s gonna fuck you over, Sana explains how. What Amira tells Sam is so lacking in context, so random as a response to Sam asking what the caption says, and like… You kinda have to have watched the Skam scene in order for Amira not to come across like a total dick here.
It also makes no sense because Sana knew that Noora had been hurt in the past by guys using her for sex and then discarding her, but a no strings attached hook up is exactly what Sam is after. So like… How would Mohammed wanting just sex and nothing else fuck Sam over anyway?
CLIP 4: Sam is interested in getting fucked (over)
Amira and Sam are doing boxing intervals, and Sam is a bit taken aback by how intense Amira is at something Sam is presumably doing just for fun.
Now imagine they’d actually written a scene around that difference between both girls, instead of a brief subtextual moment for us to read into.
Mohammed comes in during a pause, which Amira is using to get a bit more practice in whereas Sam is showing off to Kiki (sensing a theme they could’ve explored, here).
It looks like he’s going to go say hi to Amira, but Sam gets there first and starts flirting with him, hair twirling and all. Amira looks upset and goes back to boxing.
CLIP 5: Nadia! [crowd cheers]
At this point when the season was dropping, I was, to be completely honest, a little bored. Like the clips were cute and all, but I wasn’t excited. (Of course, you have to keep in mind that this was in comparison to my excitement levels during Matteo’s season, where so much as a glimpse of David made my synapses light up.)
I loved this clip and immediately posted a full on analysis on twitter (which you can read here if you’re interested, but I’ll be rehashing most of it in this post), and it still holds up in rewatch even though they didn’t mine the Nadia/Amira dynamic for all it was worth.
So we open on Nadia and Amira and they’re already looking tense as shit. It doesn’t help that Amira’s mom seems, like, almost relieved that Nadia hasn’t totally cut ties with Amira lmao. And she’s like, “omg you must have so much to talk about!” even though we just saw them looking quiet and uncomfortable.
Amira is all, “never thought you’d be the first one to marry,” and to Nadia’s credit, she takes this comment, which could read as shady, as a friendly observation. She talks a bit about how Ahmed is not like the other dicks, but Amira isn’t convinced, and now she’s definitely shading Nadia.
She also gets on Nadia’s case about going to Dubai for their honeymoon, but Nadia doesn’t defend herself and just looks sheepish.
Kiki comes in with some vegan cupcakes that she made to thank Amira for her help last episode, and you can see how Amira is much more at ease with Kiki. Tbf they did see each other last week, whereas we know Nadia has been out of the picture for a while. Anyway Kiki seems to feel the tension in the air, so she tries to excuse herself.
At this point, Nadia finds her voice to ask Kiki to stay. Is it because she thinks that with Kiki around conversation will flow more freely? Or maybe because she’s hoping that Amira’s irritation will be redirected to this Alman?
After Kiki admires the vegan spread Amira’s mom prepared, we find out that Nadia’s intention is the latter. She all but tells Kiki that Amira told her Kiki was a racist piece of shit. So this is how Nadia gains the upper hand after Amira’s earlier comments.
Amira looks alarmed, but Kiki is like pfff yeah, I was so into Alexander Humberbumber that I might have been the worst s1 Vilde until Amber made her appearance, but now I’m getting dicked down by a good man and I see Amira for the Muslim goddess she is (I’m paraphrasing but not that much!).
Amira looks really touched by Kiki not just 1. Not picking up Nadia’s intention, but also 2. Swiftly clearing the air and complimenting Amira in the process.
Kiki figures out that Nadia is the friend who’s getting married and declares her love for weddings of all kinds but especially Bollywood-style ones. Nadia looks really amused at this and looks at Amira like, “get a load of this girl!” Amira looks a bit embarrassed.
Sidenote to say Druck started building up to Kiki’s love of weddings last episode when she was paging through a wedding magazine spread. Like, they really put in more work into this Kiki/wedding storyline than most storylines last week.
And when Kiki asks if Nadia’s marriage was arranged, Nadia makes fun of Kiki to Amira. Like I would love to say that Nadia isn’t being mean to Kiki, but she is, and the point is to bring Amira down a notch. Now Amira really does look embarrassed, because in some way she’s supposed to be responsible for Kiki not saying something islamophobic. Kiki isn’t Amira’s responsibility, and I’m sure Nadia would agree in other circumstances, but… That’s what Amira gets for calling Nadia out for the Dubai honeymoon!
But as the conversation goes on, it also kind of seems like Nadia takes a liking to Kiki? (I’m mostly assuming because Nadia later invites Kiki to that pre-wedding event.) They talk a little bit about Nadia and Ahmed, and Kiki’s like, “I want to go to a Muslim wedding so fucking bad, Amira, please!” It’s like… At the moment Amira is the only single female friend Kiki has, but Kiki’s just like, can’t you just get married now though.
Amira’s like NO WEDDINGS, Australia first. And tension falls around the table again, because of course, Nadia didn’t know about this, but Kiki knew about it, so like… It’s just another way in which Amira has become a different person as far as Nadia is concerned.
Let us now talk about Kiki. Like I said, I really loved this clip. In general I love Skams clips where the dynamic feels so lived in and nuanced and multifaceted. This is the first time we see Nadia in the flesh, but we get so much information just from looks and tone of voice. Nadia’s actress and Tua El-Fawwal just rock this scene.
When it aired I took Kiki’s words at face value. Like, this was the way the writers had decided to resolve Kiki being a racist in earlier seasons, and I accepted it. It wasn’t until later that I read criticism of the scene and thought about it a bit more.
In Skam, Isak apologizes to Eva in three separate scenes. In s1, episode 10, she says to Eva, “I fucked up,” “[if I had known Iben was a psycho] then of course I wouldn’t have done it.” In episode 11, “I know it might be hard to believe, but I never wanted to hurt you. It just turned out that way. I’m sorry.” And in s3, “I just want to say sorry for that stuff last year. When I was ruining things for you and Jonas.” Like. You can say that Isak only said sorry because he got caught (though I personally believe he was genuine every time, if not entirely truthful), but the point is that Julie Andem thought it necessary, in order for Isak to remain a likable character, that he apologized three times.
The girl squad never apologized to Sana, they just showed up with the Los Losers van one day.
And while Druck also thought it was necessary for Matteo to be full of self-loathing over what he did to Hanna, they didn’t think Kiki needed to apologize on screen.
One of my least favorite Skams characters is Basile Savary, because he was a total creep to the point that, during s3, Skam France had to release a damage control text out of Lucas L’s POV because people were worried that he might have done something to Daphné while she was drunk. Basile was a creep who respected no boundaries (including dry humping Daphné against her will on social media, which played off as a joke!) until one day he wasn’t and became the perfect boyfriend. No arc where he learned to be a doper person, Skam France said, no we are not going to examine how nerds get away with being gross creeps.
And as much as I would like to say otherwise, Druck did the same with Kiki. Kiki was one of the most overtly racist Vildes in s1, was still making offensive comments about Amira’s and Sam’s hair in s2, and then… Season 4 rolls around and Kiki just says, “oh yeah I was a dick before but now I know Amira is a great Muslim.” Like… At least it didn’t happen from one day to the next, but no, there wasn’t an arc where Kiki is taken to task for her racism, nor a scene where Kiki apologizes to Amira.
This is an issue specifically because Amira’s season hinges on the Kiki/Amira friendship, like they pretty much got rid of most other conflicts or didn’t explore them fully, choosing instead to focus on this dynamic.
And I don’t think it was because Lea and Tua are such good friends irl (which they are! Lea even attended Tua’s engagement party! I love them!), because like, Tua is also good friends with Carl (Stefan) and we never got an Amira/Stefan scene, did we? I think it was simply that this season was too packed with people of color, and either funk or the writers needed a white character to anchor the season.
I still love Kiki and Amira obviously, I ship them (in fanon) and I love their scenes, because I love Lea and Tua and their friendship, and their characters. All I wanted from s4 of Skam was Vilde supporting Sana in the way Sana had supported Vilde for three seasons, and Druck gave me that. But here’s one thing where the writers dropped the ball, and it’s a massive mistake because the emotional core of the season is this friendship.
This also made me think about how the change of writers resulted in character arcs being dropped left and right. Now that two writing collectives are about to pick up Druck’s next gen, I think there’s an idea that the change in writers in the first four seasons wasn’t noticeable, but honestly… It kind of was. I would argue that a lot of the things that were set up in s1 and s2 got dropped and didn’t go anywhere. To wit:
Hanna’s arc in s1 is trashed in s4. Jonas is set up with a redemption arc in s2 that isn’t explored past that season. The Winterberg of s2 has nothing to do with the s4 ship. Kiki is still being racist in s2 and a shining example of allyship in s4. The little depth that Sam had in s1 and s2 gets dropped. Amira’s delivery job… Enough said. The one character whose character arc through the seasons was done justice I would argue is Matteo. He gets a shift in characterization after s1 to make the storyline with David make more sense (more on this if I ever write Matteo’s season meta), and retains that characterization to the end. Of the minor characters, Carlos and Abdi also come out well. David gets introduced in s3 when Q3 took over the writing, so he wasn’t affected.
Anyway, this clip totally revitalized the season.
CLIP 6: Amira praying, that’s it, that’s the clip
Mohammed is at the door waiting for Amira, and when Amira asks him if Sam is already there, he says he’s not here because of Sam. And I’m like, does he mean that literally? Like Amira could’ve assumed Sam invited him to this party, but Mohammed did meet the squads last episode. Maybe he asked Jonas if Amira was coming or got himself invited some other way.
Amira’s like sure, and gets inside. And Mohammed looks at her in such a way that even I need to fan myself a little tbh.
Hanna compliments David’s design, and Matteo’s like yeah, David is great, but I’d rather shit on Stefan. Idk, I feel like the Matteo in my mind would want to hype David up a little more before moving onto shitting on Stefan, but it’s a small quibble.
Amira goes to help Sam in the kitchen, and they both have some trouble making German food. I can’t tell if it’s because they’re generally bad at cooking or this is a commentary on white people’s palates. Or Abdi’s palate since he’s still going on about hollandaise sauce.
Oh, Sam explains that she told Mohammed about the party and he got on board. So he is there because of Sam, kinda.
They also talk about Mohammed having the coolest insta (pro: Mohammed has at least one topless pic, con: Mohammed has a pic wearing flip flops with socks), and how Abdi doesn’t compare because he doesn’t have an insta (yet). I mean… Damn, Sam. You can’t argue with logic like that.
But Sam calls Amira out on being weird lately. Again, I really wish this conversation didn’t rely so much on subtext, so it could be properly developed. Also, a new version of Snow’s Informer is playing in the background during this conversation and I can’t help but love the mood whiplash of it all.
Then something confusing happens when Jonas introduces the music act and says they come from Lebanon and traveled to Germany by train and then the lead singer says they’re from Berlin. They’re called Feedback and I tried googling them to find out what that’s all about, but with that name I didn’t get any results about them.
At least this is the kind of band that would play at an event like this, like they seem good enough to do a performance, but not big enough that there’s no believable way Jonas could book them.
Amira and Mohammed have a ~Moment~ when the audio switches to the version of Sand performed by Lary, and the sexual tension is so overwhelming for Amira that she immediately leaves to get some praying done, in the privacy of the venue’s backroom.
This scene is so iconic and beautiful. That shot of Amira being lit from above, looking up with her hands held before her? Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc. The kind of sequence that needs both a Muslim performer and behind the scenes respect for said Muslim performer.
Amira overhears some argument as she’s folding the carpet she was using, and then she sees that Mohammed was blocking the door, so that she could pray in peace. Can we get a #notallmen here? Thanks. Again, Mohammed just finds little ways in which he can help and support Amira without being intrusive.
Mohammed compliments Amira’s friends for trying to help refugees (although sea rescue is more about migrants in general, rather than refugees). I think something that is lost in translation is that German is obviously not Mohammed’s first language, so I think this scene is more significant and subtext-laden for German speakers.
Amira is probably still smarting from her earlier run in with the racist biker, so she (who’s always said she wants to be Chancellor) says that Jonas will probably become Chancellor one day. Mohammed says no! Amira should be Chancellor, but Amira doesn’t think anyone wants that. 🙁 But Mohammed says he does, and he says “we” need someone who fights for “us” (which Amira probably interprets as “us Muslims,” but Mohammed might mean more like, “us refugees”).
Also, Mohammed thinks that Amira was trying to matchmake him with Sam, which we know it was more like the opposite, but it’s very in line for Mohammed to think Amira was trying to get rid of him.
Then Mohammed asks Amira for her phone and is all, “don’t you trust me?” and Amira’s like, “no,” which is hilarious. After a while, Amira wants her phone back and Mohammed notices Amira accidentally cut herself with the knife earlier. He puts a cute bandaid on it, and they have yet another Moment. They’re so into each other that Amira goes, “omg I love this song! Let’s go in!” But Mohammed is now sure his feelings are requited.
Social media
Kiki slept at the new apartment even though it’s falling apart, a sign that that she can’t stand being at her mom’s house. Later, Zoe texts her and Kiki says she’ll be available whenever Zoe needs her, but she also just… doesn’t want to live at her mom’s.
Matteo and David (but really just Lukas) attended the Berlin CSD (Pride) march.
Mia posts a pic of a cortado coffee, and I totally believe this was taken in Madrid. 👌
Carlos missed the Abiball because he failed his History resit, then he missed Jonas’ birthday because he was sick, and this week he’s visiting Brandenburg with Kiki, and what I’m getting from all this is that maybe Carlos’ actor had other commitments during this time lol.
Amira and Mohammed both post pics acknowledging their Moment under the lights/with the bandaid, showing Amira is getting more emotionally committed to this relationship.
Final thoughts
While I did have some issues with this episode, it was much more solid overall than episode 2. Nadia’s actress really delivered in her intro clip and I wish they’d explored that dynamic a bit more, but the character kind of takes a backseat after this. Although I don’t feel like Amira and Mohammed have a motif or object that they keep revisiting (like Jonas and Hanna with Hanna’s nose, or Mia and Alex with Hotel Hardenberg, or David and Matteo with the sandwiches*), I like their dynamic where Mohammed is supportive of Amira’s endeavors, which this episode solidifies. I also really love the significance of Amira getting to complete her prayer thanks to Mohammed. In Skam, Sana gets constantly interrupted until later in the season, where she gets to pray for all her friends.
[* I thought about this a bit more, and I think one motif Mohammed and Amira share is music, and singing to each other.]
I discussed this episode with Michi, and we came to the conclusion that the root conflict between Amira and Nadia is that Amira feels like that, to be with a man, is to compromise yourself and your principles. Nadia didn’t use to be the person who’d be the first to marry, or who’d go on a honeymoon to Dubai, and Amira sees that chance as Nadia losing sight of her ideals. But, in the last clip, Mohammed’s actions allow Amira to be who she fully is, and to finish her prayer. So the idea is planted, that Amira wouldn’t necessarily have to compromise her principles if she got into a relationship. Of course, Mohammed is probably one of the people who’d most compromise Amira’s ideals if she were to date him, but we’re not at that point yet.
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are any of your tua ocs hargreves x hargreeves
Fair question anon! Short answer is sort of but also not really, long answer is that I’m going to go ship by ship to explain because there are a couple who do have a sort of luther-allison “we thought we were in love because we grew up in a fucked up af environment and didn’t really know shit but we’ve since realized that we’re not” vibe
gonna go alphabetically bc that’s just easiest and I’m lazy by nature and I’m putting this beneath the cut bc length but the very basic summary is that the very few ocs who were ever hargreeves x hargreeves realize how fucked up that is pretty much as soon as they find out what incest is and that’s the end of that for them lmao
Audrey Hargreeves x Diego Hargreeves — from ages 13-16 roughly, they thought that they were in love! They knew that they loved each other more than their other siblings so, because they grew up in an abusive household and shut off from the world, they think that means it’s romantic love, but it’s not! This will actually be explained in Audrey’s canon if I ever write for her because I have a scene in mind where Five asks Audrey about it (bc it was mentioned in Vanya’s book) and basically goes “you were in love with diego?” and Audrey goes “I thought I was in love with Diego” — by the time they’re sixteen and sneaking out of the mansion and actually learning a bit about the world they realize that no they definitely aren’t in love (and then they learn what incest is and are just like “um ew”). I don’t have an exact way to explain their dynamic because of all of the backstory I have for them but it’s somewhere between platonic soulmates and two halves of a platonic whole!
Autumn Hargreeves x Jaden Hargreeves — they aren’t technically dating. I say technically because they don’t correct anyone who assumes that they are, but they would never describe themselves that way. They don’t really know how to describe themselves because they stay inseparable after leaving the mansion but they feel wrong calling themselves siblings because in their experience, siblings don’t exactly stick around. Most people (including their other siblings) sort of assume that they’re a couple but they aren’t, they just don’t correct anyone because they don’t know what to say they are instead
Beatrice Lovecraft-Hargreeves x Ben Hargreeves — yes they’re dating, but no, Beatrice doesn’t see Ben (or any of them) as her family. Reginald straight up kidnapped her from the child services office after her parents’ death and she has only ever seen him, Grace, and Pogo as her kidnappers not parents or anything (she doesn’t blame Grace for kidnapping her because she knows that she’s programmed to obey reginald, but she only ever calls her Grace not mom). She sees the other Hargreeves kids as fellow kidnapping victims and eventually as friends, but never as siblings. The only exception eventually becomes Klaus but that’s only after he accidentally brought her back to life but in her own words “no one in that mansion was ever my family, they were my jailmates. Klaus is my family now, but he wasn’t then, that hasn’t changed” because she eventually (aka by the end of s2) sees them as a sort of found family but they were never her family growing up on account of the whole kidnapping thing
Catarina Moreno-Hargreeves x Diego Hargreeves — yes they’re a ship, no they aren’t siblings lmao; Catarina’s last name is Hargreeves bc she married Diego but her maiden name is Moreno
Gemma Hargreeves — no but tbd. I have one plot for Gemma where she is a Hargreeves and doesn’t date any of her siblings and one where she isn’t a Hargreeves and does date someone. I haven’t decided which plot to use which is why I never post about her, and I have her as Hargreeves rn just for my masterlist, but obviously if I go with the plot where she’s a love interest then her last name would change
Helena Hargreeves x Klaus Hargreeves — yes they do date. This is an extremely unhealthy relationship and, although his intentions aren’t bad by any means, Klaus is an extremely abusive figure in Helena’s life. He genuinely cares about her and means well but he’s a traumatized mess with an addiction and it’s a very bad situation for Helena. The first time Helena ever heard of incest was after they’d moved out of the mansion and it made her feel really gross about their relationship but she didn’t feel like she could leave him (tldr the reason Helena stuck around for so long is because she felt like if she left and anything happened to Klaus it would be her fault). Once she finally does leave she feels a lot better and is able to really process how fucked up everything was and moves on with her life
Joey Hargreeves x Five Hargreeves — yes. They get together like 10 years into the apocalypse when they’re literally the only two people left on earth, and are together from then on. I haven’t figured out what’s going to happen once they’re back in the past though because once they aren’t the only two people elft on earth things get complicated lmao
Kamaria Hargreeves x Luther Hargreeves — yes, but like Benatrice, they don’t exactly see each other as siblings. Based on the fact that their guardians before Grace were all nannies and then Grace became mom, I have an overarching hc in all of my TUA ocs that their early years barely had any interaction with each other. TLDR in my various universes the first few years of their lives were kept pretty much entirely separate from each other being experimented on while Reginald tried to figure out each of their powers. They knew that the others existed and knew each other’s numbers but didn’t really interact. Within a week of Grace becoming their mom, Reginald faked Kamaria’s death and she and Luther don’t see each other for another almost-20 years, by which point she only vaguely remembers that he existed and he had no idea that she did (there is a Plot there, it isn’t just because it’s been so long) so they have no relationship when they re-meet
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The Rewatch Academy: Episode 1 of Season 1
"We Only See Each Other At Weddings and Funerals”
I am in no way a good analyst so my little analysis and speculations probably sound a bit goofy or pretty wild and probably mean nothing at all. Everything I put into this post about each episode is purely what I noticed or thought, whether it's funny or serious. I will be making jokes, so please just leave it at that (in no way am I trying to make fun of an actor and or character!) I am also in no way saying I noticed this stuff first. This is just what I noticed while rewatching these episodes
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1x01 | 1x02 | 1x03 | 1x04 |
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☂️ In the Pilot script, it has a woman giving birth to a baby boy in Poland in 1984 (potentially Five or maybe even Luther??)
☂️ “Picture Book” is an absolute bop and no one can tell me otherwise
☂️ What if someone saw this parade of carriages and noticed that there were seven? Later Reginald announces that he adopted 6 kids, so I wonder if anyone saw the carriages earlier and heard Reginald's announcement and became confused
☂️ The concert hall in the Pilot script is in New York, which I assume is safe to assume in NYC. The script also mentions later that Diego drops the monocle in the Hudson River
☂️ The Pilot script originally had Allison in LA, and Klaus in Amsterdam (which he was supposed to be levitating in that scene)
☂️ Diego was originally supposed to be pretty brutal and violent
☂️ I am a huge POTO fan so having a medley of the songs from the musical is so awesome to hear. The first time I watched this episode and heard the violin starting to play, I was like “Huh, this really sounds like POTO” and then I realized it was! It gave me chills and still does to this day overtime I watch this scene
☂️ The dark and mysterious tones of POTO really matches the vibes of TUA well. It’s just so good, especially as a way to introduce Vanya. The first song Vanya plays is “Phantom of the Opera” which is a nice symbolism when introducing the Hargreeves Siblings. The song itself is Christine discovering who her true Angel of Music is, a strange masked man that everyone knows well but they truly don’t know who he really is, like with the Umbrellas and their separate personalities and struggles as actual human beings and not just as the superheroes the public knows them as. It also plays while showing Diego, who is a mysterious masked figure at that point.
☂️ “Angel of Music” is basically Christine asking her angel to guide her, which is ironic that it plays while Klaus is getting out of a place that guides him down the right path, knowing that he’s immediately going to go do drugs again and to go down the “wrong” path
☂️ I wonder if the voice in Luther’s spacesuit as he receives his message is an automated voice or his robot named “Ben” like in the comics. I doubt it’s the latter, but who knows
☂️ Okay, here’s another POTO thing. Diego picks up his knife and wipes the blood off of it and tells the family “Your family is safe now” right as the start of “Think of Me” plays. The first lyrics of the song are “Think of me, think of me fondly” which can be seen as Diego wants the family to truly view him as a hero that saved them
☂️ Aaaand here’s another! Again, while “Think of Me” is playing, one of the parts in the song where Raoul sings “Long ago, it seems so long ago, how young and innocent we were” plays while the paparazzi begins questioning Allison about her father and siblings
☂️ Okay okay, last POTO thing. I especially love that "Music of the Night" plays when Klaus wakes up in the ambulance at night. It's so awesome! Especially since the song is basically about giving into your darkest desires, which Klaus clearly did
☂️ Goddamn is the music in the show amazing, and I’m not just talking about all of the fun lyrical songs! Jeff Russo you get a thumbs up from me
☂️ Ta-da! Here’s some portraits that are shown of the siblings with Reginald when they were young that are shown in the show
☂️ Even the first person Vanya sees when she arrives home doesn’t greet her/welcome her back
☂️ Emmy and Elliot really played that awkward hug and greeting between Allison and Vanya well. You can feel the awkward tension (hey sisters)
☂️ According to the pilot script, Diego wears his mask practically all the time like in the comics
☂️ Luther was literally supposed to have a gorilla body in the pilot script
☂️ “Oh, YoU gOt BiG, lUtHeR”
☂️ Godddd the song playing while Vanya looks at the books on the shelf in including her own is 👌
☂️ Ah, there’s a book called “Lunar Living”
☂️ It might just be me, but it seems like the light shining onto Five’s portrait is ever so slightly askew
☂️ Vanya leaving the lights on and sandwiches for Five reminds me of someone leaving food outside for a stray cat
☂️ Five was originally supposed to be gone for over 22 years in the pilot script
☂️ I wonder at what point in each of the siblings’ lives did they realize, or at least they thought, their brother wouldn’t be coming home
☂️ Babies
☂️ There’s so many ape and monkey pictures and diagrams around Reginald’s office. Foreshadowing for Luther?
☂️ I love Klaus’s theme. It’s heard in almost every episode https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJa9H8SY4wQ&list=OLAK5uy_k2NJivpu0PIwxrOmPVrqN4umBZaahOGWI&index=6
☂️ Why does Reginald have two pictures of himself featuring aircraft? In one of them he’s outside a private jet and the other is him inside a cockpit
☂️ I must say that the dialogue in the pilot script definitely closely mirrors the dialogue of the comics
☂️ “Told me I should be careful who to trust” 👀
☂️ Something behind Elliot is moving
☂️ I was hoping for this to be a gazelle of some sort above Five’s portrait, but It’s an Gemsbok. However, the Gemsbok is an antelope and all gazelles are antelopes
☂️ “The Walker” playing during the bank robbery scene is 👌👌
☂️ Luther is ready to throw hands
☂️ These robbers really decided to rob a bank at 10:05 am?
☂️ I just love Five popping out of nowhere criss-cross applesauce
☂️ Something that hasn’t been explained/fully shown is Five’s ability to teleport objects. He teleported the gun out of the guy’s hand and replaced it with a stapler
☂️ Five’s teleportation noise reminds me of something going really fast, like an aircraft breaking the sound barrier. It’s almost like a mini sonic boom, but not as loud
☂️ Okay so I’ve noticed this in most of the episodes, but I don’t think when Five teleports he makes an actual noise. I’ll point this out more as we continue through the episodes. At the bank scene when Five is on the counter, it appears that the first time he teleports the bank robber whips around when Five speaks. The second time the robber turns to Five simply because he doesn’t know where he went and he’s searching for the threat
☂️ “That’s one badass stApler”
☂️ When Ben asks if he has to go into the Vault, he looks at Klaus for reassurance even though Luther is the one speaking to him
☂️ Five was still pretty cocky back in his youth. They, or more like Ben, have more bad guys to take care of and he’s just chilling with his hands in his pockets and leaning back/slouching like he’s bored. His tone with the robber also proves that and the way he just happily bounds out of the bank
☂️ Sir, why are you looking at the camera
☂️ Luther’s little wave to the reporters when the Umbrellas come out of the bank is cute
☂️ The pilot script didn’t include a flashback of a bank robbery, but instead to the Umbrellas training when they were younger. There’s too much to screenshot to I’ll summarize it.
-Luther bench-presses over 500 lbs
-Diego has been holding his breath for about six hours and he flips Reginald off
-Klaus levitates stuff
-Allison is slacking off and when Reginald tells her to continue her training she simply rumors him that she doesn’t have to
-Ben is fighting guards and Reginald calls him “Number Six” to which Vanya, who isn’t supposed to be down there, corrects him that his name is Ben and reminds Reginald that they have names
- Five very quickly and quite brutally rips off the heads and limbs of training dummies, snaps their necks, and stabs them. He is referred to as “A ruthless little war machine.” Reginald calls him “Perfect”
☂️ The pilot script implies that Reginald had alien life mounted on the walls of his office
☂️ There wasn’t a dance scene in the pilot script
☂️ Not to get super into detail about this, but Luther’s room is filled with a lots of models and paintings of aircraft, mainly from WWII. Almost all of them are of Allied aircraft, and more specifially Commonwealth aircraft, like the RCAF. So this could be more of a clue to the Umbrellas living in Canada
☂️ Diego giving that Wildebeest head the stink eye aways makes me laugh
☂️ Klaus is dancing with Reggie’s urn in a Waltz fashion, so maybe he’s just doing that or it’s the ballroom dancing lessons they received as children peeing through
☂️ I love Diego’s dancing skills
☂️ Fuck you Five for ruining their dance party
☂️ Honestly Five’s portal is pretty powerful. Here’s a description of it from the pilot script
☂️ I like that when Luther tells everyone to get behind him and Diego copies him with “Yeah, get behind us” Luther lets his brother use himself as a shield instead be pulling the “I’m the leader, I’m the strongest” card
☂️ When Luther and Diego are shielding their siblings, Diego has his arm stretched out to guard Vanya
☂️ In the pilot script Five’s body is smoking when he comes out of the portal
☂️ What if when Five fell out of the portal he got knocked out so he just laid face down on the ground unconscious aksdhfjsafhd
☂️ “So are we gonna talk about what just happened?” No bitch, let him make his sammie first
☂️ Diego and Klaus had some sort of bet on Five’s time traveling in the pilot script
☂️ Here’s another example of Five’s teleportation possibly not making noise. When he teleports around while his siblings are questioning him, it looks like they only look at him when he appears and not when they hear a noise
☂️ Five in the pilot script is actually 62
☂️ “What part of the future do you not understand?”
☂️ I like that Five styled his hair to the exact style it was when he was actually young, but eventually gets looser throughout the season
☂️ Five is so oddly calm when talking to Vanya in front of his portrait
☂️ “Well, there are worse things that can happen.” “You mean like what happened to Ben?” Yeah there’s also an apocalypse on the way lol
☂️ Five actually got a hug in the pilot script!
☂️ An ironic moment from the pilot script considering that Five is an assassin and has killed tons of people but this siblings don’t know that
☂️ When Diego is talking about their names and numbers in the courtyard, Five sighs, which I’m sure he’s just bored/has better places to be and is annoyed, but I’d like to view it as “Shit, I don’t even have a name”
☂️ Funny tidbit from the pilot script during the funeral scene “Whatever the hell you are”
☂️ Diego talks about how he assumed Reginald sent Luther to the moon because he couldn’t stand the sight of him, so he must be talking about Luther being like a “failed” leader or something? Like he couldn’t keep the team/his siblings together? Diego doesn’t know about his ape-like body so he’s not thinking about that.....
☂️ I love that Klaus reaches his arm out to guard Five, and that Five simply glares at him and bats his arm away
☂️ When Luther broke Ben’s statue, I can just imagine Ben yelling at Klaus “Seriously? Klaus, why didn’t you stop them?”
☂️ So I’m sure this is just a continuation error, but you can’t see Five walking away in the shot of Ben’s statue hitting the ground. Considering that he had just left, he should still be visible in the background. Again, probably a continuation error or maybe he even teleported inside
☂️ A detail I love about Luther is that his fingernails are dark due to the gorilla DNA
☂️ The bank robbery scene in the pilot script is after the funeral. Not much was changed for the actual first episode, just a few different scenes. Also the Umbrellas were described as gods
☂️ Vanya drawing the tattoo on her wrist hurts my heart
☂️ “Together, you will stand against the reign of evil” gives me chills
☂️ “This is your home and always will be” is great foreshadowing to S3, and hurts my heart when I think about how it is in fact no longer their home
☂️ When I first watched this episode and saw Pogo watching Vanya I knew something was pretty sus
☂️ Just some gold dialogue from the pilot script during the scene of Five, Allison, and Klaus in the kid area and Five is complaining about coffee (but in the pilot script everyone but Vanya is there)
☂️ “An entire square block. Forty-two bedrooms, 19 bathrooms” goddamn the Academy is HUGE. Also 42 is just one away from being 43 👀
☂️ “I know how to do everything.” Yeah, like survive an apocalypse and professionally kill people :]
☂️ I’ve pointed this out before, but the license plate on the car that Five takes to Griddy’s says HERMES, which is the license plate of his car in the comics
☂️ The exit sign in the background is only half lit up to where it says EX and if my memory serves me correctly that’s the door Vanya and Leonard enter the Academy through in episode 6
☂️ Diego telling Klaus to lean back is like “Ugh I don’t want him with me, but safety first”
☂️ I love that they added his feral chimpanzee smile from the pilot script into he show
☂️ “You won’t be going home.” Cocky smartass strikes again. Not to mention he smiles when he says that. He also says this to the men before he kills them in the pilot script
☂️ Before I even knew about TUA, I had heard of the “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” scene and looked it up. I remember thinking “Wow, that kid is scary.” Now I think “Wow, that old man is scary.”
☂️ I love the little salute he does before he blinks away, and the way his basically just plays with these men like a cat playing with its prey. He knows he’s going to kill them, but he wants to have fun doing so
☂️ Five had some fancy moves in the pilot script
☂️ Five teleporting his tie around the man’s neck is another example of him teleporting an object. Can we see more of this actually happen in S3 please?? I also love the fact that he takes it off the man’s body and puts it back on
☂️ The way he calmly, or tiredly, snaps the man’s neck is chilling to see from a child’s body. This was also included in the pilot script *chanting* Feral Five, Feral Five, Feral Fi-
☂️ It’s honestly such a cool and iconic scene on the show. It truly shows that Five is fully capable of handling himself, and is/was great at his job
☂️ Having the city at night in the background of Diego dropping the monocle is really pretty
☂️ I really like the way they revealed Ben. Having watched both season and now watching this scene again is a bit awkward when Ben doesn’t talk. He’s probably just tired of Klaus
☂️ “The world ends in eight days, and I have no idea how to stop it.” This line combined with the music and the previous scene of Five in the apocalypse is powerful and chilling and I love it
☂️ I love that they have The Umbrella Academy theme playing during the credits in both seasons
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Feel free to comment or reblog with things you have noticed too!
#the rewatch academy#tua#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#we only see each other at weddings and funerals#tra
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Blog Interview! 2/4
@seven-misfits
The interview is under the cut! This is the second of four interviews. You can find the first one here: (x) The third one will be posted next Saturday at 3 PM UTC, and the fourth one will be the week after (April 3). I hope you enjoy learning more about the fandom!
Who are they?
Name: Liv
Pronouns: She/they/he/anything else
Age: Minor (Or, as Liv puts it, “babey” x’D)
Q: What are your other fandoms?
A: So many... there are so many. To start, there's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Boku No Hero Academia (although that's on the backburner for now), the Carry On books by Rainbow Rowell, Rick Riordan's books (Magnus Chase series in particular, currently), just recently I watched I Am Not Okay With This, and also I'm into many, many musicals. I can guarantee you there are still more, along with some foreign content and those fandoms. I have so many interests, it's ridiculous.
Q: Any other things people should know about you?
A: I'm fucking feral. That's a joke, but I do tend to go off (read: go White Violin mode) if I really get going about something, and I do have a tendency to talk loud and yell... a lot. I have a qpp, their name is NJ you should totally go follow them because they're amazing and I love them (@be-ace-punch-nazis). I'm also fluent in Russian, so if you wanna chat in that I am down for it! :)
Q: Where are some other places people can follow you?
A: Oooh okay so, you can follow me on many other blogs, so it's probably easier to link my carrd (https://octopodium.carrd.co/), but I will say that I'm behind blogs like @pineipina (which is my main), @farahblack, @bahumdrum, and @probablyheroism. You can also follow me on instagram @octopodium, and my ao3 is under the same name.
What do they do?
Q: What sort of content do you make?
A: I make all sorts of things for TUA! I used to do a lot of incorrect quotes, but now I tend to write and draw :) there's also a bit of poetry floating around my blog. I make meta sometimes (although a lot of it is still not posted...) and also like to try and point out things I find in the show! Another Thing of mine is AUs and HCs; there have been some truly cursed things born from my rambling bullet points.
Q: How long have you been making TUA content?
A: I've been making content since somewhere around April, I think? My first TUA fic was published somewhere around June. I only got into TUA a couple months after it came out, and it took some more time for me to actually start making things.
Q: What’s your favorite piece of content that you’ve made?
A: I don't think I have a favorite piece but IF I HAVE TO CHOOSE, then one of my favorite art pieces I've made is the Ace Luther painting, and one of my favorite fics is "we sail upon forgotten waters", though there are definitely more galaxy brain takes I have written. (Cough, "like constellations" and "The Sky Is Falling" and "She Likes Girls" cough.) (As you can see I like my writing more than my art lmao.) AND WAIT; I forgot my magnum opus. My ultimate fic. The one thing I will never forgive myself for. "don't forget your lines," the Dave/Everyone content nobody asked for and nobody wants.
Q: Do you ever wish you did something else for the fandom?
A: I wish I could make music sometimes, I've tried to write songs for the characters but I'm not good at composing at all :')) I also wish I could do more content in general, because lately my attention has been kind of diverted onto other media (still very into TUA though) but other than that, nope! I'm happy with what I'm doing here.
Q: What is your favorite piece of content that you haven’t made? (Made by someone else in the fandom)
A: Goddd a lot of my favorite fics come from the lovely @evelinaonline, and Bree's writing is so godtier... I love the thing people in this fandom create so much, I can't think of any specific content creator I love but hey!! If you make TUA content and are reading this *waves* I love you!! (Love you tooooo and thank you <3)
What are their views on TUA?
Q: Who is your favorite character?
A: Ben. I love them all, and I can't pick an ultimate favorite, but it's Ben. He has the "dead asshole" and "babey" appeals. (Along with many others but... I just think he's neat lmao.)
Q: Which is your favorite: comics or show?
A: I like the show more, I'm gonna say, it was the first thing I consumed for TUA. But the comics do hold a place in my heart and I love them a lot, too.
Q: What is your favorite part of the comics or the show?
A: I love all the show, and while I can name some least favorite parts (cough incest cough the rave scene cough) I can't name a favorite lmao. I do really like the I Think We're Alone Now dance scene, though. (And Five's Istanbul fiasco... though rest assured those aren't my ultimate faves, they're two I can think of though.) [For the comics,] I suppose when the Séance saves the world with his telekinesis (oop, spoilers) and when Number Five is exposed as a furry? Good shit. (Also the Horror's scenes kdfsk I love me some dead tentacle man.) (Comic Ben in general is just very neat to me. You go, you funky ghost tentacle man.)
Q: How do you feel about the fandom discourse? (Like sibling shipping, anti-Vanya, anti-Luther, etc)
A: FUCK sibling shipping, incest is gross. (Of course though I'm not gonna directly call out people or w/e, do whatever you want, I'm not you mom, but I 100% do not support incest and sibling shipping.) Anti-Vanya and Anti-Luther is stupid, whoever is against them clearly hasn't bothered to actually watch the show lmao, while both of those characters are "problematic" so is... literally all of the entire cast. I mean, come on. Stop scapegoating and recognize they were all abused and wronged, and have all done shitty things, "don't villainize abuse victims" isn't that hard to wrap you head around.
.
And that’s the end of the second interview! If Liv’s content sounds interesting to you, go give her a follow :D Liv: I love having you around to goof around with on our discord server and everywhere else! You’re fan-flipping-tastic. To everybody else: there are two more interviews left! At this time, all the question responses have been sent to me, and I have to say this has been one of the biggest highlights of my time in this fandom. If you have any additional questions for Liv, go send her an ask or put them in the notes here! <3
#tua#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#tua tv#tua comics#the umbrella academy tv#the umbrella academy comics#netflix#incorrect quotes#fics#fanart#interview#not a meme
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