#i do not see myself stopping anytime soon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ao3commentoftheday · 6 months

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Hey!

This is something that's been rolling around in my head for a while, and I'm wondering if you or any of your followers have experience with getting back into writing after illness.

I've been chronically ill for a long time. My symptoms vary a lot depending on external circumstances. From about 2019-2021 or so, I was updating an AU about once a month and having an absolute blast with it...then my health hit a stumbling block. Then it hit another, and another.

I'm now at a point where the stumbling blocks don't seem to be going away anytime soon. I'm starting to feel the mental health effects of not having the spoons to work writing into my day.

I spent the past couple years trying to let myself lie fallow and be kind with my brain when my body needs so much help. I'm at a point where even when I WANT to write, it feels like it's been so long I've almost forgotten how. I'm stalled on all my WIPs from that AU, but it doesn't feel like writer's block so much as it feels like writer's atrophy. I miss it terribly, but I'm having a lot of trouble getting back on my feet.

Thank you for everything you've given our community over the years! 💜💜

*hugs* that's a rough spot to be in, and I hope that we can offer you some ways to get out of it. I'll offer some suggestions from my own experience with a change in health status, but I'm really hopeful that the rest of the blog have some tips to share as well.

Don't hold yourself up to your previous standards. Your abilities have changed, and you should take that into account. If you used to be able to write for 2 hours and now you can only manage 10 minutes, don't see that as a failure. 10 minutes is now your success point. If you used to be able to manage 100K stories with intricate plots and now you find it a challenge to write a straightforward oneshot? Then finishing that oneshot is an accomplishment to be proud of.

If the way you used to do things doesn't work, don't keep trying to do them that way. If you used to type onto a laptop but now staring at the screen makes you feel exhausted? Try dictating into your phone and using speech to text to transcribe it. Then you can go through and edit what's already there. If you used to write at a desk but now sitting up for long periods wears you out? Try tapping it out on your phone in bed. You can't focus for long periods the way that you used to? Turn on the TV and write during commercial breaks.

Don't try to pick up right where you left off. You need to get yourself back in writing shape before you can take on a story that's already halfway written. Those WIPs will still be there, even if you start off with a ficlet or a missing moment or a post-episode coda etc. Start off small. Use ideas or plots that are easier for you to write. Get back into the swing of it before you try to tackle a big project again.

As you try to write something and you find yourself unable to, take a moment and try to identify what the hard part is. Are you having trouble finding words? Are you in an uncomfortable position? Is the device you're using annoying you or difficult to work with? For each problem you can identify, see if you can find an accommodation for it - and look to see if other people have had to accommodate the same issue before you. It's very likely that they have.

I'll stop here and let the spoonies share their thoughts in the notes. I look forward to picking up some advice for myself too ❤️

You can find this question and answer over on Dreamwidth as well, if you'd like to join the conversation over there.

#asks and answers

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judasofsuburbia · 1 year

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something something caretaker! steve gets hired by rockstar! eddie to look after and live with wayne. everything is set up over the phone after eddie was given his resume so eddie's never physically seen the guy but he has enough positive reviews and references that it seems like there is anybody in this world that doesn't like this steve harrington fellow.

wayne munson soon becomes his #1 fan.

wayne keeps telling eddie all about steve in their weekly phone calls. anytime eddie tries to steer the conversation into something actually about wayne's health and wellbeing, wayne manages to involve steve. says that steve's blushing face is real handsome while steve rolls his eyes and laughs to himself across the room.

"you should come home on your next break," wayne says.

"i'm planning to."

"steve really wants to meet you," wayne says with an infliction.

"well, shit, wayne. from how much you gush about him, i'm excited to meet your new boyfriend too," eddie teases.

"oh hush, you. my casanova days are over. you, however, could use someone good."

the next break eddie has, nearly six months after steve starts working for the munsons, he arrives at nearly 11pm. he's quiet as he sneaks into the house he bought wayne years ago and nearly shits himself when he sees steve hanging out on the couch watching TV. he drops his suitcase to the floor, jolting steve out of his trance.

"oh god, i'm so sorry!" steve rushes to say as eddie clutches his chest and tries to steady his breathing.

"steve, i take it?" eddie laughs breathlessly.

"yeah, hi," steve stands from the couch and holds his hand out. "nice to finally meet you."

steve steps into the light as he does this and eddie's taken aback by just how handsome he is. oh fuck, wayne wasn't just messing around. eddie takes his hand, firm and strong, and shakes it.

"sorry to jumpscare you like that," steve smiles and his eyes twinkle in the low hallway light.

"no, i should've prepared myself," eddie says. "someone hasn't been in the house either than wayne or i in....well, ever."

"don't worry, i'll try to keep mostly to myself as you two have quality bonding time," steve replies sheepishly.

eddie shakes his head. "you don't gotta do that. you're more welcome around us than anyone. i owe you so much for looking after him."

steve smiles. "you already sign all my paychecks."

right, yeah. eddie's technically this guy's boss. eddie's never really thought of it that way before. that means any plans eddie's monkey brain had in the last thirty seconds about flirting with the handsome caretaker is out the window. it wouldn't be appropriate. eddie slouches and gives steve a tired smile.

"i'm gonna turn in. see you at breakfast?" eddie asks, hopeful despite his conflicting internal monologue.

"be prepared for oatmeal," steve jokes. "it's the only thing he wants for breakfast nowadays."

eddie scrunches up his face. "you don't have any poptarts or anything fun stashed away somewhere?"

"depends. do you like brown sugar cinnamon?" steve asks.

"love it," eddie whispers.

"then yeah, your breakfast fate can be a little better," steve nudges his elbow and it lights up eddie's skin.

"thank you caretaker steve," eddie salutes and turns heel to his teenage bedroom.

over the next few days, eddie goes out of his mind. he watches steve just do his job, the job he hired him to do, and he's still going crazy over it. how steve prepares for everything, accidents and things eddie couldn't even predict. spoon feeds wayne if his hands are too shaky. jokes and messes around with him like he's family. wayne's eyes keep drifting over to eddie's when steve isn't looking, a smug little smirk on his face.

"it can't happen," eddie seethes when steve leaves the room. "you're what's important here and i need him to stick around."

"and i need you to stop moping about the country, getting your heart broken every other week," wayne retorts. "steve's a good boy. he would treat you right."

"we don't even know if he's gay," eddie grumbles.

wayne gives him an unimpressed look that makes eddie bark out a frustrated laugh. "take a look at his bedroom, kid. you'll have all your questions answered," wayne advises right before steve returns.

"jeopardy time?" steve asks, hands already on wayne's wheelchair handles.

"eddie is gonna beat us both," wayne claims.

"that so?" steve beams. eddie is glaring daggers at wayne.

"he's full of useless facts," wayne jokes while eddie throws up his hands and steve laughs joyfully.

eddie falls for steve more and more as the week goes on. he tries his best to restrain it, tries his best to never be alone with steve. catches himself from checking steve out (especially in his daily running outfit, god) and swallows flirtatious lines that nearly escape his mouth. it's hard to say no when steve invites him to watch a movie or hang out with him while he cooks dinner but he does. eddie has to be coming off like a total dick at this point but it's for the best.

steve is out running an errand so eddie finally decides to snoop only a little bit. opens steve's bedroom door and smiles at all the decorations. sure enough, there is a little bisexual pride flag sticking out of the pen cup on his desk. eddie is admiring framed photos of steve and some kids along with little handwritten camp postcards on his corkboard when steve enters the room.

"anything interesting?" steve jokes from the doorway.

"shit!" eddie yells, clutching his chest again like he did the first night. "fuck, i'm so sorry."

"don't be," steve shrugs easily. "it is your house after all. i snoop your teenage bedroom all the time when wayne asks me to change the sheets."

"still, i shouldn't be invading your privacy," eddie says with an apologetic face.

steve walks carefully over to where eddie is standing. "i don't think there is much privacy between us where wayne is concerned," steve says quietly with a kind smile, leaning up against the desk.

"i'm sorry about him," eddie groans, rubbing his hand over his chin. "he is a little pushy about my love life."

"no, i'm sorry that he's weird about us. i swear i called you handsome once and he has never left it alone since," steve admits with a small blush.

eddie's eyebrows raise. "you think i'm handsome?"

"are you kidding me? you got this whole," steve gestures in a circle, "rockstar bravado going on. hard not to admire the show."

"well, you've got a show i admire too," eddie admits, inching closer.

steve huffs, looking down bashfully. "do i?"

"mhm. smart, genuine guy with a heart of gold. makes wayne's days better. lights up a room. probably rescues cats from trees and saves drowning puppies," eddie smiles.

steve tilts his head from side to side. "i may have rescued a cat before but it was stuck under my little brother Dustin's porch."

"see? heart of gold," eddie repeats.

steve exhales deeply, twisting his mouth. "i wasn't sure if you liked me."

eddie reaches his hand over and touches steve's hand on top of the desk. steve looks up shyly to eddie's sympathetic face. "i didn't want to-- there's a power trip here, you know? like you said, i sign your paychecks. i'm not about to pull out the moves and make you feel like your job is at risk if you aren't into it."

steve nods before slowly rubbing his thumb over eddie's.

"and if i am into it?" steve whispers.

"well i--" eddie stutters.

"can i kiss you?" steve asks quietly. eddie's not sure he's ever been asked in his entire life.

eddie nods. when steve's lips touch his, it's all over. any pretense of keeping his feelings undercover blows up like fireworks underneath his skin. eddie feels as his resolve sparkles and cracks away into the air. he encourages steve to keep kissing him by pulling in his face closer. steve sucks his bottom lip in between his own when his watch beeps.

"wayne's meds," steve whispers.

"old bastard," eddie jokes. "watch a movie with me later?"

steve bites his lip and nods. "i know just the couch."

#emily writes #emily's brain worms attacking her at work once again!!!!!#steddie ficlet #steddie #steddie au #steddie fics #steve harrington/eddie munson #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson

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straykeedz · 3 months

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭 ; 𝐡𝐡𝐣

just a lil drabble i wrote bc hyunjin's live got me in a chokehold, hope you enjoy!

posting this again bc it flopped the first time... don't let it flop!

𝐭𝐰: female anatomy ; kinda sub!hyune ; semi-public sex (one of the boys is mentioned to be in the dorm) ; unprotected piv sex (don't!) ; clit play ; creampie ; brief nipple play ; cum eating ; ♡

𝐰𝐜: 1,7k ;

this is nari's (aka @jilixthinker) review if you even care 🥺:

You step inside the room as soon as “the live has ended” sign pops up on your phone screen.

He’s sitting there with his phone in his hand, probably checking something or catching up to the memes and other stuff the boys sent him, because he’s giggling, biting on his fingernail. He looks even hotter than he did when he was live, hair all messy and collarbone exposed.

“Can I come in?” You break the silence, your question followed by a soft knock on the door.

“Flower, hey,” Hyunjin’s head snaps up in your direction and a smile spreads on his beautiful features, “sure you can. Did you watch the live?”

You nod, catching him a little off guard when you sit down on his knees - well, you’re not exactly sitting on him, you’re practically mounting him, your knees on each side of his waist. He puts his phone away immediately. “I did,” you murmur, running your fingers up and down his exposed forearms, then his wrists, then intertwining your fingers together. “You were cute.”

Hyunjin blushes a little, he always does whenever you compliment him, your pretty boy.

“I was?” He asks, flustered, avoiding your gaze. You let go of his hands and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you slightly closer.

“Hm-mh,” you hum, gaze dropping to where his silver necklace rests on his exposed clavicle. “Very cute,” you murmur, placing a kiss on his jawline, your lips brushing the hint of spiky beard that is slowly starting to grow back, “but also very sexy.” You kiss his neck and Hyunjin, beneath you, shivers.

“S-Sexy?” He swallows the lump in his throat, tightening the grip on your waist, “but… I wasn’t doing anything, flower.”

You huff against his skin, leaving an open-mouthed kiss on his exposed collarbone. “Please,” you roll your eyes at him even though he can’t see you, “all the lip biting, hm? And the running your hand through your hair?”

Hyunjin gasps when you suck on his neck. “I wasn’t trying to be sexy.”

“Pf, sure.”

You take your time kissing his neck, licking the soft skin until you capture his heavy, silver necklace between your teeth. Your fingers toy with the ends of Hyunjin’s hair, tugging at it slightly, and he moans out loud while you feel him getting hard right between your legs. Just like you planned. You roll your hips to grind on his visible erection, and Hyunjin’s hands grip your hips a bit tighter as if to stop you.

“We shouldn’t be here. One of the boys could burst in anytime. Let’s go to my room.”

“But I wanna have my fun here,” you bite his shoulder, “where everyone could interrupt us any moment. See you all whiny and desperate for me, how you beg and yearn for my touch.”

Hyunjin whimpers. “What’s gotten into you?” He doesn’t protest when you slip your hand under his oversized sweatshirt, your fingers brushing his navel and happy trail until they reach the button of his grey jeans.

“You. You’re a tease, and you know it,” you undo the button and pull down the zipper. “Got me all wet and hot with your… whatever the hell it was. Had to press my thighs together to stop myself from shaving my hand down my pants, but I’m pretty sure Jisung figured out something was up with me.”

“Jisung?” Hyunjin squeezes your ass, giving in to his instincts.

“Hm, we were watching tiktoks together,” you keep kissing his neck. “This,” you tug at his sweatshirt, “off. Now.”

He nods. “Okay, okay.”

You reluctantly pull away from him, allowing Hyunjin to cross his arms over his torso and pull his sweater off, letting it fall on the floor without a care in the world. He’s not wearing anything underneath it, not even the slutty tank tops they always wear. You’re met with the sight of his bare torso and his nipples, hard due to the cold temperature in the room - it’s okay, it’ll get hot eventually. The silver necklace, which resembles of a chain, kind of makes him look like a bad boy. Had he kept his eyebrow piercing on, he’d look like he came straight out of a punk rock band - messy hair and everything.

“Always so obedient…” you capture his swollen lips in a quick kiss, “be good for me now and take your cock out.”

He whines when you get up, only to pull your pajama shorts down your legs together with your underwear. You don’t take off your t-shirt, though - one of Hyunjin’s t-shirts, actually, and your favorite one. He fidgets with his jeans, lifting his body from the chair to slide them down his legs, just enough to free his hard cock and twitching balls.

“Now wet it.”

He spits on his palm and jerks his cock off a couple of times, making sure there’s his saliva all over it. Then, you get on top of him once again and you start rubbing yourself on his length, and he’s confused. “You’re not taking this off?” He tugs at the t-shirt. You shake your head as a no, continuing to rub your clit on the tip of his cock. “But I wanna see your tits…” he kind of pouts. Cute.

“Aw, sweetheart…” you lift your hips to position his cockhead at your entrance, “not tonight. ‘M putting it in now, try not to cum after ten seconds this time, hm?” You tease him, and he rolls his eyes.

“It happened once, and you’d been teasing me for- shit,” Hyunjin pants when you sink onto his length slowly. He grips your hips so tight the tips of his fingers turn white.

“It happened twice,” your pussy swallows him wholly, his length filling you up just nice. Hyunjin pouts. “’t’s okay, though. ’s cute how whipped you are for me.”

“And you’re not whipped for me?”

You giggle at that. “Yeah, very much,” you lift your hips again, and Hyunjin gasps, “enough with the talking now. Be good and take it,” you ease yourself onto his length slowly, the way he likes it. “And try to be quiet. Jisung’s still in the living room.”

Easier said than done, Hyunjin thinks. In fact, he has to bite on his lip so hard he can almost taste blood in his mouth to hold back his moans and whimpers and all kinds of sounds that are threatening to escape his mouth.

“Please, just… let me see them,” he begs. He’s referring to your tits. “Need to see them so bad.”

“Nuh-uh,” you shake your head, moving up and down his length again and again and again.

“Please,” he whines.

“Let’s make a pact,” you tell him, rolling your hips and rubbing your clit against his skin - it’s not enough to get you off, but it feels nice nonetheless. “I’ll show you my tits, but you can’t touch them. If you touch them, you won’t be cumming.”

“What?”

“Thought you wanted to see them so bad,” you quote him. “Too ba-“

“Fine. Fine, just- lemme see them,” he whimpers trying to put off his already impending orgasm. His eyes widen comically when you take your shirt off and he sees your tits bounce. Oh, how is he supposed to fight the urge to touch them, to wrap his lips around your nipples?

“You love my tits so much, don’t you, sweetheart?” You latch your lips on his neck, moving even faster as if to torture him. You’re pretty sure you’re breaking some physics law right now, fucking on a chair like there’s no tomorrow.

Hyunjin nods. “You’re the pretties woman I’ve ever seen. The prettiest flower.”

You love it when he praises you and worships you - Hyunjin treats you nothing but the goddess you are, and he always makes you feel incredibly sexy and hot. And you may or may not have a praise kink, so his words have you getting even wetter - if you close your eyes and focus, you can almost taste your orgasm.

“Fuck. Shit, do that thing again,” you tell him, breath becoming quicker, “with your fingers.” Hyunjin runs his hand through his hair, disheveling it in the sexiest way he knows. You ride him faster. You wrap your fingers around his necklace and pull slightly, allowing Hyunjin to get closer so you can kiss him. His lips suppress all of your moans. “Yeah, yeah, that’s it. ‘M gonna cum. Rub my clit.”

He uses the pad of his thumb to get you off, wetting it with the mixture of his saliva and your juices that’s coating his cock. He manages to get you off in seconds, and when you eventually cum, you hide your face in the crook of his neck and bite on his necklace as you pant, continuing to ride him as you try to come off your orgasm.

“Can I too? Need- need to cum,” he whines pathetically.

You pull back only to look him in the eye. “Fill me up.”

He shivers, and doesn’t even have the time to say anything else, because his orgasm washes all over him in a matter of instants, catching him by surprise. And since he already came, it can’t hurt to infringe your pact, right? So he shoves his face in your chest and stuffs his mouth with one of your nipples, starting to suck on it desperately, running his hot tongue all over it.

“Insatiable,” you comment with a sigh, shaking your head. “Thought we agreed on something. Might have to teach my sweetheart a lesson.”

He lets go of your nipple, his eyes meeting yours - he looks completely fucked out. He tilts his head to the side, not fully grasping what you mean. You lift your hips just enough to allow his cum to spill out of your hole, then bring your fingers to your pussy to coat them in his sperm. He gave you a generous load.

“Open up,” you bite your lip, tapping Hyunjin’s mouth with your cum-coated fingers. He looks at you with a surprised look on his face. “What? Thought you liked having your mouth stuffed. Now be good and taste yourself, hm?”

He opens his mouth, and you dip the tip of your fingers inside - just the tip for now, watching mesmerised the way his own sperm falls on his tongue and fills his mouth. He winces, probably because he dislikes the taste, or maybe because he likes it. You push your fingers inside by another inch, he wraps his lips around them.

“Good boy, lick ‘em clean,” you praise him, and he whimpers. “And when you’re done with my fingers, there’s a crempied pussy for you to eat.”

-> 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞.

-> 𝐦𝐲 ☕️

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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years

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#huh. i dont think this person would want me to do this #diary #personal #disordered eating #hahahahaha. the more they talk about food the more it makes me want to starve myself.#hahaha. how fucked up is that lmao.#self harm #i mean not really but sorta so close enough ig?#i honestly wonder why i love hurting myself so much sometimes. hahaha. what wire in my brain fell loose?#hm. seriously though. i have no especially strong desire to prevent harm coming to me #in fact i often try to recreate it. or even seek it out to some extent.#like. i dont cross a line. but beyond that i sorta just see it all as fair game.#hm. and really the thing is i dont especially care if people tell me no. hm. sometimes i wont if i think to myself #and i quote .#...but that being said. sometimes i think the people around me dont especially care? all in all it doesnt affect them ig.#so i dont really have anyone to stop this self abuse from taking place. not that anyone but me can put an end to it.#i usually stop when i have something to work towards or for. but if i see no means to do so i give up.#i think thats why ive given up lately. like. i may as well do as i please if i cant do anything right anymore. haha.#idk. this warped sense of self wont go anywhere anytime soon.#im not sure if i really hate myself so much as i just dont especially care.#drugs tw #im fine with spending my days in a drug fueled haze. if thats what i really want.#i dont quite get others and thwir conerns for that. if you're hurting no one else who cares what you do to yourself?#idk. i think im a bit broken somehow. my mind sure as hell doesnt work the same as anyone else.#either way i wont regret no more. im making my own decisions. im making my own grave and ill lay on it. .#i really dont especially care. in the end all i need is right here hahaha.#ha. god something really is wrong with me. oh well.

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justauthoring · 4 months

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too early.

you wanted him to live a long life, even if that meant without you

a/n: whos ready for some angstttt woop woop!

tw: minor spoilers for the manga(?), death

pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader

“Satoru.”

“I know.”

with barely concealed tears, you glance up at him through blurred vision. your shoulders feel heavy, and your heart hurts and Gojo knows that—of course he knows. Yet, there isn’t a single thing he can do.

He can’t change what’s happened.

“I didn't want you here.”

And he just smiles. in that way that Gojo always has. It’s bright, despite the darkness that swallows you both, and it’s genuine as his eyes sparkle down at you. He smiles even as everything hurts, even as everything else is nothing but a cold, dark space that you’ll never leave and now, neither will he.

“But I'm here.”

Biting your lip, you step towards him.

“You’re insufferable.”

“I know.”

“And annoying.”

“Yup.”

“And you never know when to shut up.”

“But…” and he pauses for effect, face in yours so you can’t look away as his bright (and unfortunately, beautiful) eyes stare back at you with a twinkle of mischief. He’s leaning to meet your height, and he’s grinning far and wide, lips stretched out as he barely contains his own enjoyment. “You love me.”

And, regrettably, you do.

Rolling your eyes, you press a hand to his cheek, pushing him away as you groan.

“As if.”

The words are a blatant lie and both of you know that.

But you’re not ready to admit yet that your feelings for your fellow classmate are anything other than platonic. You think, maybe, hopefully, he isn’t either.

(He isn’t).

So, you’ll continue to deny it. Feign annoyance and disgust when really your heart beats madly within your chest, showing no sign of stopping anytime soon, and your cheeks burn, dusted rose across the apples of your cheeks. It’s all there, plain to see, but you plead obliviousness and Gojo does the same.

Obliging to you, he steps back, chuckling to himself.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, more to himself than anyone. “As if.”

“Do you remember the first time we met?”

Blinking, you turn to Gojo. “You mean when you laughed at me… to my face.”

Frowning, Gojo shakes his head; “that is not what happened.”

“That is in fact what happened,” you correct, shaking your head at him. He’s sitting in front of you, sitting the wrong way on a chair as he leans on the corner of one of the legs dangerously (and you swear he will end up falling soon). You’d been trying to catch up on some homework when Gojo had found you in the empty classroom and had promptly decided you were to occupy him for the time being.

(Geto was out on a mission).

But, he’s brought with him some candy and even if he whined every time you did, you still proceeded to invite yourself to a couple gummies every once in a while.

So, his annoyance is forgivable.

(And really, you don’t mind, if you’re being honest.)

“I introduced myself to you, you took one look at me, called me ‘weak’ and laughed.” You explain, sending him a deadpanned look.

Gojo continues to stare back at you like you’re lying (the audacity), before he blinks, as if thinking back. The grin on his face falters somewhat as the memory resurfaces, and he blinks back at you, looking oddly apologetic.

Not a look Gojo wears very often.

“Well, I take it back.”

You’re halfway through stealing one of his gummies when you pause, hand left stretched out before you as you stare back at him.

“What?”

“You’re not weak,” he shrugs, “and I shouldn’t have laughed at you. Obviously, I’m still stronger than you,” you roll your eyes, “but I take it back.”

Raising a brow, you squint at him. “Are you trying to apologize?”

“Maybe?”

“The answer is yes or no, Gojo.”

“...Yes.”

It’s more honest than you’re expecting. If you’re being truthful, this whole conversation is not what you’d expected at all.

But still, he’s apologizing, in his own way, and he seems to mean it. It didn’t really bother you all that much all that more–it was a long time ago and Gojo was just like that, though you’ll admit he’s lessened his smugness a little bit through the time you’ve known him. At least when he’s with you, he does, and he doesn’t make you feel like a infuriable piece of trash next to him, so, you know, he’s making the right steps.

(All the right steps).

“Well,” you settle on eventually, grabbing your gummies. “Apology accepted.”

And really, his grin is bright enough to forget that his apology was pretty lousy.

“Ow.”

“It’s not my fault you got hurt.”

Pouting, you turn away from Gojo, not wanting to look at his face currently because if you have to see his smirk one more time you swear you’re going to strangle him—

“Lift your arm,” he’s calling, a hand wrapping around your wrist to guide the motion. Your lips part at the touch, hating the flutter of nerves that hits you, letting your head rest in your other hand as you listen to him, lifting your arm, and letting him move it until it’s resting on his shoulder.

You stare back at him then.

“You should’ve let me come with you.”

Huffing, you roll your eyes. “I thought you said I’m not weak.”

“You’re not,” he says plainly, pulling at your shirt to place the bandage at your side. Your cheeks warm when you realize he’s seeing skin he’s never seen before, swallowing thickly at the feeling of his fingers ghosting across sensitive skin. It’s enough to pull goosebumps, and you hope he doesn’t notice them.

(He does).

“I’m just the strongest.”

Shoulders falling, you decide to watch him. “It’s not that bad.”

“You’re bleeding.”

“That’s why I said I should find Shoko.”

“She’s not here.”

“Oh.”

(She is–Gojo wants to take care of you).

“Still,” you say after a moment, “it doesn’t hurt.”

He glares at you. “You were hissing not a minute ago.”

“That’s cause you pressed on it!” You argue, shifting in your seat as you ignore his heavy gaze. “You’re very heavy-handed, I’ll have you know. And no skill in cleaning wounds either. I swear, it hurts more now then it did before so–”

You stop rambling when you realize he’s finished patching the wound and is simply staring at you.

“So… yeah,” you finish lamely.

(You can’t think all that well when he looks at you like that).

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” he says after a moment. His voice is oddly serious in a way it rarely is with Gojo. Though, it feels like recently, Gojo sounds more worried and serious with you than he had before.

You don’t want to think about what that could mean.

(You don’t want to get your hopes up).

“You shouldn’t go on missions where you’ll get hurt.”

“It’s my job, Gojo.” You remind, “I don’t have much of a choice.”

“You do,” he says sharply. “I’ll make it so.”

Licking your lip, you stare at the worry in his eyes. Gojo was very rarely expressive in his emotions and you’ve come to learn that he often hid the way he really felt; but sometimes it felt like you were the only one who really saw how he felt. Because he’d look at you like this, with a furrow in his brow and concern in his gaze and it’d leave you stunned.

Stunned in the way you couldn’t speak.

“Okay,” you whisper, forcing the words out because that’s what you settle on. That’s all you can settle on. “I won’t.”

“Gojo–!”

His back is turned to you, shoulders tensed, his hands clenched by his sides. Whatever you’d been about to say dies on the tip of your tongue because what do you say?

How could you ever say something that would be enough to fix what’s happened?

But still, you want to try. You can’t just leave it alone. Not after what had happened. You couldn’t even begin to think how he must be feeling, the confusion and hurt and rage that must be flooding through him.

And if you could in any way soothe that, you had to try.

(Little did you know, you’d done just that the second you’d called for him).

“I’m…” You hesitate, stepping towards him with a hand stretched out uselessly before him. Even if you wanted to touch him, you couldn’t–not with his infinity… “I’m so sorry.”

Gojo stays still. The slight rise and fall of his shoulders as he takes even shallow breaths is the only inclination that he’s alive and breathing and listening.

“I heard about… about Geto–I was called away on a mission so I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier,” you explain, your words rambling as you try to sort through the chaos of thoughts in your mind. You’d never had to comfort Gojo before–did he even want to be comforted? Did he want to be comforted by you?

You doubted it.

(He did).

“I’m so sorry.”

And you truly are even if the words mean nothing to him. Even if he doesn’t care that you’re sorry.

You still are.

You blink, eyes falling to your feet, and you’re starting to think you should just leave. Gojo clearly didn’t want you there or to hear you ramble, and it was silly of you to think that you of all people would be able to help someone like him.

Then, there are arms wrapping around your shoulders and you’re pressed flush against a strong chest.

“Gojo–”

He just shakes his head, holding you tighter and understanding, you close your mouth, letting the words you’d been about to say die out.

Because Gojo didn’t want you to speak and he surely didn’t want to either. It was easier to be silent but better to be silent with you. You made it all a little more bearable and if he was honest with himself, you always had.

He just hadn’t known how much until now.

So, instead, you let yourself ease, moving to wrap your arms around him in return, and his head is moving to cradle into the crook of your neck, his nose pressed against the skin as he lets out the faintest, softest, shuddering breath.

You move to press a hand against the back of his head, and squeeze in the hopes it helps even just a little (—it does and more).

“Can I just–fuck it.”

Before you can even realize, his lips are pressed against your own.

Warm, soft lips against yours, his hands finding purchase on your waist as you tense at the contact, stunned, your brain lagging as you try to process what’s happening. A second ago Gojo had been chatting your ear off as normal, the two of you alone in your dorm as you often found yourselves now, because Shoko rarely had time now because of her role in Jujutsu High and Geto… well, Geto just wasn’t there.

Gojo was busy too. Really busy. And you were too. Maybe not as much, but in your own way.

Gojo made sure any free time he did have was spent with you though. You return the sentiment with ease.

It felt natural, after all.

And yeah, maybe you’d admit the two of you had been dancing around these feelings for a long time. You can’t count on both hands the amount of times Shoko has begged you to just kiss the man already if you were going to make love eyes at him all the time (her words).

There were other instances too, but they were too painful to remember.

You’d known for a long time the way you felt about Gojo, but you didn’t want to mess up what the two of you had. And that had been at first, before it had developed into this comraderie you only could find in him—and you definitely didn’t wanna mess that up by letting your emotions get in the way. So, you just… didn’t. It was comfortable, this bond the two of you had developed and the idea of losing that was too heartbreaking.

Chances were scary when it could destroy everything.

So you didn’t take any.

(Gojo was tired of not taking any).

He’s pulling back before you can move, slightly breathless as he smiles faintly down at you. “The point is to kiss me back, you know.”

And you blink, once, twice, before his words register and you gape up at him.

“I-I–!” You can’t find the words, feeling like your mind is short-circuiting as you stare up at him. Because it was so like him to be so smug when he’d just kissed you without confirming how you felt in return. It was so like him to just know that you were completely and wholeheartedly in love with him.

(Probably because he was too).

His hands are still on your waist and he’s close, more close than he’s ever been. You can feel his breath against your cheeks, and you’re sure you’re bright red, but you don’t want to pull away and you desperately want him to kiss you back.

Reaching forward, you decide Gojo’s words are all too fitting and to fuck it—you tug at his shirt, leaning to meet his lips.

He chuckles as you do, laugh warm and husky and it makes your knees feel weak as your lips meet his once more, eyes fluttering shut.

(It was, truly, everything you’d ever dreamed about).

And as you both pull away once more, breathless, he leans his forehead against your own and you run your fingers through the hairs on the back of his neck, laughing lightly.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” you confess, turning to glance up at him.

Gojo grins; “me too.”

“So we were waiting for nothing?”

He shrugs; “guess so. But it doesn’t matter now.”

Your brows furrow, shaking your head as he shuffles closer, squeezing your hips.

“Because now I can kiss you whenever I want.”

“I’m gonna go speak to that Megumi kid tomorrow.”

Pausing at Gojo’s words, you close the book you’d been reading, shifting on the bed next to him to face him better. He’s already looking at you, tired eyes focused on your own as you nod at him. “Okay.”

“Just okay?” He asks, as if almost hesitantly. “I could end up with a kid depending on what he says.”

You nod. “I know.”

Gojo seems puzzled, head tilting as he leans over to his side rather than his back. His hand falls on your arm, grip gentle. “You’re okay with that?”

“I am,” you answer. “I want you to do what you think is right.”

“Even if it means bringing a random kid home?”

Snorting, you nod again. “Yes, Satoru. Even if it means bringing a kid home.”

“We’d have to… raise him,” he explains, the words sharp and uncomfortable on his tongue. “Or, at least, pay for him to live. Something like that.”

You laugh, reaching forward to cup his cheek. “Whatever you decide, I’m okay with.”

Gojo still seems skeptical. He eyes you like he’s sure there’s some hidden meaning behind your words or worried you might change your mind suddenly.

(You’d decided long ago you’d follow him to the ends of the earth if that’s what he decided).

“...You’re sure?”

Smiling, you hum; “yes.”

“Okay…” He says slowly, eyes flickering back to you once more just to make sure.

You just giggle, leaning into him and letting your head rest on his shoulder.

“Remember I have that mission tomorrow, too,” you remind him. “Whatever you decide, I’m okay with it but I won’t be there to help you until I come back from the mission. So, you’d be on your own with him for a while.”

Gojo guffaws next to you; “you’re acting like I’ve already decided.”

You raise a brow, glancing up at him through your lashes; “haven’t you?”

Frowning, Gojo squints down at you. “Maybe…”

Shaking your head, you just laugh. “I look forward to meeting him.”

“...Me too.” Gojo agrees, “if he wants to come.”

“He will,” you shrug. “I’m sure.”

Gojo doubts your certainty, but he doesn’t argue against it either. Instead, he shifts to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer against his side. You’ve got an early mission tomorrow, after all, and he doesn’t want to waste every last second he has with you until he’s torn apart from you for a whole weekend.

(Truly, the worst hell those higher up can subject him to).

You feel the same, of course. So you lean into him with ease, relishing in the feeling of his warmth and familiarity.

Thinking to yourself that your whole world will be different when you return—you and Gojo and a… kid.

(It’s crazy, but you still love the idea of it).

You don’t come home after that mission, though.

You don’t come home ever again.

And you don’t see Gojo until ten years later.

Setting your hands against his cheeks, you frown.

“I wanted you to live a long life.”

Gojo shakes his head. “Wasn’t worth living without you.”

You sniffle, swallowing back the tears that just continue to fall relentlessly. It was wonderful to have Gojo in your arms once more, but… but you’d wanted him to live forever… raising the new generation of Jujutsu Sorcerers and protecting them. Live a life, even if it meant without you.

You’d been content just watching.

But he was here now, regardless, and it would be silly to deny the fact that a part of you was happy to have him with you once more even if it broke your heart all the same.

“I missed you,” Gojo whispers against the top of your head, pulling you close into a hug. He holds tight and long, savoring the fact that he can have you in his arms once again after years of being forced to live without you. “I missed you so much.”

“Me too,” you agree, pressing your face into his chest and breathing in his familiar scent. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it home.”

Gojo just shakes his head, a hand pressing to the back of yours.

“It’s okay,” he assures, “because I have you now.”

#.justauthoring #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo fluff

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churipu · 5 months

Text

CUTIE ! — JJK MEN & THEIR PARTNER WHO WEARS CUTE SOCKS

featuring. itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, todo aoi x reader

warnings. none :)

note. i was wearing this really cute pair of socks with very cute frog motives and just got this idea out of nowhere, i kept asking myself how jjk men would react with having a partner who likes to wear cute socks. also for requests, i'm working on them! so they will be coming out one by one anytime soon <33 (and i've been having a todo brainrot lately, we need more fics of him :(( )

ITADORI YUUJI. i feel like yuuji fanboys when he sees you in your cute socks, he clutches onto his chest and just thinks about how he got such a cute partner. and i feel like yuuji will buy you socks when he's out, for a mission, for a hangout, on a date with you. there will at least be one pair of socks that he takes home with him.

yuuji thinks about you so much sometimes he remembers what socks you have and don't have — and every time he sees one that you don't have for sale, he wastes no time in buying them for you.

"baby, look!"

you look at him dangling two matching pom pom purin socks, "you got that for me? oh my gosh, i've been wanting to buy them for some time now! how did you get them?"

"i saw these while i was walking back and immediately thought of you, so i bought it for you!"

yuuji just loves watching you wear cute socks, especially the one he buys for you. he won't stop in buying them for you in the future.

fun fact: he got you a box of sanrio matching socks so the two of you could match.

GOJO SATORU. absolutely. loves. your. collection. he treats them like his own, would gush over how cute they are on you and would try to look for more. gojo is totally that person who sees you wearing them and immediately tries to find the same motive with his size so he could match you.

he wants to match with his partner.

he is so that "matching outfits" type of boyfriend, loves it when you ask him to accompany you to buy more socks. i feel like he would literally drop whatever he's doing even if it's important (unless it's a mission) and just teleports over to you.

"okay, let's go shopping."

"aren't you in a meeting?"

"no, they cancelled." obvious lie, he just didn't want to be left out — he has to be in on it when you get your socks. and if you come home from somewhere with a pair, he'd literally break down.

"you.. how could you do this to me y/n? i trusted you!"

"satoru, i just bought socks! what do you mean?"

"exactly. fake people everywhere i go." big baby. gojo just wants to be there when you buy your socks. period. no more debates.

TODO AOI. have you seen his necklace? it's a picture of his idol and yuuji. but ever since he settled down for you — he changed his idol's picture to a picture of you smiling brightly. he's so in love with you it's cute.

and todo, the first time he finds out you have a cute socks collection was when you invited him over for the very first time into your apartment. and you were wearing these really cute dinosaur printed ones that managed to attract his attention.

and when he asks you about it, you told him you had more.

so now socks are just a daily gift for you, todo would go on missions and come back with at least two pairs. he's out there obliterating curses and comes back with the cutest gift for you (apparently according to his friends, he strolls around after the mission trying to find a shop or two and if he doesn't find it, he buys you something else). what a cutie.

"look, i saw these when i was fighting a curse. so i came back to the shop when my mission was done."

"...you scare me sometimes," you tell him with a nervous smile as he looks at you, arching a brow in confusion, "you're hurt and you still managed to look at cute socks in a fight?"

"anything for you, darling!"

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sugumii · 1 year

Text

Clingy Jing Yuan x Reader: Sneaking out of work for his beloved

Warnings: None besides an angry Fu Xuan

“My love…” A male voice whispered huskily into your ear, lips gently kissing the shell around it. Your body was pulled back gently, leaning on a firm and strong chest.

“I’ve missed you.”

You sighed, leaning back to rest in your lover's embrace happily while you continued washing the dishes in your shared home. He smiled and watched you with a loving look on his face, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. His large hands planted themselves securely around your waist, pulling you in closer to his eager body.

“I’ve missed you too, love. Have you already finished your duties for today?”

He chuckled, the sound reverberating throughout his chest making his entire body shake. One of the things you loved about this man was how when he laughed his entire body shook with laughter. “Perhaps not all of it, but even old men such as myself require moments of relaxation.”

“…You snuck out, didn’t you?”

His body stiffened upon hearing your bold accusation as he laughed with a hint of nervousness in his tone. He nuzzled his face into your neck despite your giggles for him to stop due to the ticklish feeling.

“Of course not, my beloved. Just who do you take me for?”

“A slacker.” You replied almost immediately causing him to release a small chuckle. “This isn’t the first time you’ve done this after all. Has Fu Xuan’s constant scoldings failed each time to knock some sense into you?”

“How mean of you, my dear. Lady Fu works herself far too hard to understand even leaders such as her deserve moments to unwind. I’m merely taking some time to recharge my stamina with my beloved. Perhaps she should consider arranging for a partner.”

You continued washing cups and pans and snorted.

“Honeyed words won’t allow you to escape the massive scolding you’re about to receive, love.. Also, I don't think Fu Xuan intends to date anytime soon.”

“Whatever do you mean?” He questioned the first bit with a curious look in his eye. He never released his hold of you, instead choosing to cherish and relish his embrace with you. You felt his long, fluffy hair tickle your neck as he placed gentle kisses along your shoulder blade. You hummed in content and leaned back into him more causing him to smile fondly.

“Fu Xuan knows by now you tend to sneak off to wherever I am, love. In fact, she had texted me recently asking where I was…”

“Is that so…” The general replied, attempting to hide his nervousness with a casual grin. You finished rinsing your last dish and turned to him with a mischievous look in your e/c eyes.

“And just how long ago was this, my beloved?”

“About 15 minutes ago, around the time you ran off, I believe.”

You watched as his eyes widened a fraction and his grip on your body got tighter. “After reevaluating my decision, I've decided to return to work. I’ll see yo-“

The door busted open as a short and angry Fu Xuan appeared, glowering at the hard-headed general. Her eyes seethed with anger and annoyance resulting in the silver-haired male letting out a breath and hiding behind you while you stared in amusement. The mere thought of a man as tall and intimidating as he reduced to nothing more but a slightly terrified child amused you.

“General Jing Yuan.”

“Apologies, but General Jing Yuan is currently out of his office hours. Please, do leave a message after the beep. Bee-“

“AND NOW YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO JOKE?! I’ll be sure to give you a thorough scolding this time around!”

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 4 days

Note

Hiii! Could you imagine one where the reader finds out she's pregnant during one of Spencer's missions and when he comes home she has a crisis and ends up feeling ill and Spencer doesn't know how to help and the reader doesn't know how to tell him she's pregnant. (Both are already married)

i took this opportunity to set my pregnant!reader series into the future cause i already planned for them to have another child. request is tweaked justttt a little.

“my dear sweet penny, can you hit me with a bus? i want this misery to end.” you’ve been hit with the worst stomach bug or flu or just something that’s been lasting since spencer went on his case, five days ago.

your mom took your daughter for the day when you realized you weren’t getting out of bed anytime soon and you called in your reinforcement of one penelope garcia. the case ended yesterday but the team had to stay an extra day due to weather in their state, so penelope has been keeping you company for the past two days. it was nice to have an adult conversation instead of bluey and the same princess movies.

“okay, if you’re pleading for death that means it’s time to head over to a hospital. i don’t want spencer to hypothetically bite my head off if something happens to you.” her bright blonde hair was your shining sun in your darkened bedroom. and her jewelry were loud gongs with each step she took. “i hate to sound like a bitch but can you like, be the opposite of yourself today?” moaning and groaning as you tried pushing off the tossed sheets.

“yeah, you need a doctor. cause and i quote ‘penny if i even say to change yourself i’ve been abducted and that’s an alien.’ hopefully they can give you good drugs.”

at the hospital they took some blood, made you pee and just did a bunch of other check ups when it was shown you were sick with anything. so after an hour or so your doctor renters the sterile room with his clipboard and a poker face. “well, you’re not sick, but you are pregnant. we’ll get an ultrasound in here to check on the fetus.” talk talk talk and then he left again, leaving you and penelope open mouthed shocked.

“holy shit,” breathing out as your hand rubbed over your still small belly. “i told spencer i couldn’t keep my hands to myself.” telling that to the ceiling.

“oh, i’ll have another godchild! i’m so happy to live vicariously through you.” penelope stood at your side and smiled down at you. you turned your head towards her, “you know when they’re older, you’ll be our go-to babysitter then. so just be prepared for that.”

with the ultrasound done they confirmed you were almost done with your first trimester and that left you a bit shocked. you were three months pregnant but didn’t know, now you understand how some of those other ladies feel. but you were excited for another, but then you were done, seriously.

you tried calling spencer after leaving but his phone when to voicemail, but you didn’t think anything of it. probably feel asleep or out doing something with his team. so when you arrived to your mom’s place you were a bit surprised to see your husband holding your daughter and swinging her around.

“you’re back!” penny the first to speak and move further into the home. spencer and anna both turned their heads and smiled at the bright lady. “auntie penny!” your annabeth squealed with an arm out.

she happily took her from spencer’s hold and moved her away so you could talk with spencer. his puppy eyes and downturn mouth made your heart soar, oh how he’s gonna get you into so much trouble.

“you feeling better? your mom said it’s been a week.” pulling you into his hold, cheek pressed into his chest as his palms rubbed over your shoulder blades and spine. you sighed, “yeah, penny took me to the doctor. turns out i wasn’t sick… i was- i am pregnant.”

spencer’s hands stopped and leaned back, “what?” his brows raised into his curling locks. “how far along?” “three months…” biting into your bottom lip as you watched him go through his mental calendar. you both knew your period was irregular, that’s why you didn’t think anything of it.

“so it must’ve been sometime after annie’s fourth birthday,” spencer came to the conclusion. leaned in to peck your forehead, “are you okay with another?” always making sure you were okay with the decision.

you smiled up at him with a twinkle in your eyes, “absolutely.”

#erin’s blurb requests #a 1k special #erin writes spencer #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x pregnant!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine

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