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marjansmarwani · 3 years

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like I was already brave enough to let go

7.2k || Chapter 1/2 || ao3

Enzo understands that leaving New York in the wake of everything is what's best for TK, but that doesn't make it any easier. Watching his stepson pack up all his broken pieces and move across the country hurts him in ways he can't describe, mostly due to the knowledge that there will be a distance between them that has never existed before. So he takes the time to check-in, to keep track of TK. To be there for him, no matter what.

He's just starting to wish that he had picked somewhere other than Austin, because he is quickly discovering he is not built for this level of stress.

After reading @futures-tense’s Enzo fic (that everyone should read, it is phenomenal) I couldn’t get thoughts of him and his relationship with TK out of my head, so naturally I wrote this. It fits into canon evetns and this is only chapter 1 of 2, because while I so have an outline for season 2 events, this was getting long so I figured I’d at least post what I had.

Massive thanks to @silvarafael and @justaswampdemon for all their help and support with this, you’re both the best!

-----------------

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when TK opened his apartment door, but the sad shell of the boy Enzo had come to love as his own wasn’t it.

Or maybe it was, but it hurt all the same.

“Hey kid,” he said softly, stepping carefully around him and into the apartment. He looked around the small space, taking in all the boxes haphazardly labeled and partially packed. “So, it’s true. Your mom told me but I don’t think I believed her. Never thought I’d see the day TK Strand willingly left New York for Texas, of all places.”

“Who says it’s willingly,” he said dully as he shut the door behind Enzo.

Enzo turned and studied him more closely, taking in the downturned eyes and anxious fingers thumbing the seam of his hoodie pocket, “Do you not want to go? Because you can stay here. I’ll talk to your mom, you can stay with us if you…”

But TK cut him off with a shake of his head, “No,” he said, “I think I need to do this. Dad’s right, I need a fresh start. I can’t...I don’t think I can be here anymore. When I think of staying here, I don’t see a way forward. I think if I stayed here I’d…” he trailed off, but Enzo felt a chill rush through him at the implication of what TK hadn’t said. He tried to meet his eyes but TK looked away, casting his gaze downward and away from Enzo’s sympathetic eyes.

It hurt him more than he could say to see TK like this. For all his struggles he had always been a happy kid. He had always been someone who found the joy in life where he could and he had always worn his emotions on his sleeve, for better or worse. Seeing him like this and knowing what had happened hurt Enzo in ways he couldn’t fully describe because he didn’t know the right words. All he knew for sure is that this was not the TK he had known and loved for 16 years standing before him. This was a stranger; someone he had only seen once before during a time he had hoped to never revisit.

He hadn’t asked what happened because he knew enough and he wasn’t about to make the kid revisit it just so he could fill in some blanks. He might not know everything but he knew enough to feel hot anger course through him at the thought of someone breaking that too big heart of his. TK had always been someone who loved fully and completely, and to see that thrown back in his face so spectacularly made Enzo—a typically steady and calm man — strongly consider homicide.

He had every confidence that Gwyn could get him out of any charges too, but he pushed that thought aside to focus on the scene before him.

“This isn’t your fault, TK.”

TK turned away from him, absently picking up some books from the table and dropping them into one of the boxes. “I know I didn’t make Alex cheat,” he says eventually, “but the rest of it? That is completely on me Enzo, no one else.”

He could sense that the kid had more to say so he let him go, watching from the doorway as he listlessly picked up other odds and ends from around his apartment, tossing them into boxes without any real care as to what the labels on the side said. He knew TK would speak up when he was ready and it was only a few more minutes before he did.

“Eight years,” he finally said, his rough voice breaking the silence of the half-packed apartment. “Eight fucking years of sobriety, all gone. And that’s all on me. It doesn’t matter what Alex did, I’m the one who made the choice. I am the one who let him have that power over me and…” he broke off, meeting Enzo’s eyes for a moment before looking away and swallowing. “I do need to leave,” he said eventually. “I don’t trust myself to stay here anymore. I don’t know if I’d survive it.”

Enzo could feel his heart breaking for the kid. He wasn’t a kid anymore — now 26 and an adult — but in Enzo’s eyes sometimes he was still the 10-year-old who met his eyes shyly when Gwyn first introduced them, the 14-year-old who had admitted to him in a terrified whisper that he thought he might like boys, the 19-year-old who had come to him because he wanted to enroll in the fire academy and didn’t know how his mother would take it. The feeling he had now was just like the feelings he had had then. This overwhelming love and desire to protect him from everything bad in the world; from anyone that ever told him he wasn’t enough.

And just like he had then, he stepped forward, closing the space between them to pull him into a hug. He held him close, pressing his face into his chest and placing a kiss on the top of his head. “You’re making the smart choice then,” he said evenly. “And, as much as I’ll miss you, I’m proud of you for doing what you have to do. You’ve beat this once and you’ll beat it again, I have no doubt about that.”

He knew he wasn’t imagining it when the body in his arms sagged in relief. It made him clutch him that much tighter as he spoke again, hoping what he was about to say was a given but needing to say it anyway: “And I will always be here for you, no matter where you live. I’m always just a phone call away, you know that, right?”

TK’s voice was muffled by the material of Enzo’s sweater, but he could still hear the tears in it clear as day, “I do.”

“Good,” Enzo replied firmly, releasing his grip on TK and stepping back so he could meet his eyes. “Because I will be calling to check-in, that is a promise.”

---------------

Watching him leave was bittersweet, but he believed TK when he said it was something he needed to do. He took some solace in the fact that he wouldn’t be alone. Enzo and Owen Strand may have had their differences over the years (many, many differences) but if there was one thing Enzo had never doubted it was the other man’s love for his son. He knew that TK was in good hands, but that didn’t make it any easier.

He got confirmation they had arrived in Austin in the form of a text that included a picture of a shop selling cowboy hats that simply said, “turns out people actually do where these here. Yes, it looks as ridiculous as it sounds.” It is followed by another two days later that noted the crimes Texas has committed against pizza and though Enzo was still filled with worry, he allowed himself to smile and take it as a sign that he was healing, be it ever so slightly.

He gave it almost a week before he called. He wanted to hear TK’s voice; to have proof that he really was okay, but he also wanted to give him time. His patience was helped by the fact that Gwyn had spoken to her son but eventually, he decided that he needed to hear from him himself.

TK answered by the third ring, sounding out of breath. He greeted him warmly, and Enzo could hear the commotion of construction in the background. He raised an eyebrow, “What, did you decide to leave the fire department and become a contractor when I wasn’t looking?”

This pulled a laugh out of TK and Enzo took a moment to savor the familiar sound. It felt like far too long since he’s last heard it.

“No. Dad decided we should re-do the firehouse, to give everyone a fresh start. I figured I might as well help out. Besides,” he added with a shrug Enzo could almost hear, “demolition is the far healthier method of coping with feelings, right?”

“When done with permission,” Enzo quipped in response. “How are you doing kid, has the pizza chased you away yet?”

TK scoffed, “No, but it was a close thing. Honestly, I really haven’t had that much time to dwell. I’ve been helping with the demo and construction, as well as the candidate interviews and paperwork. I haven’t really taken too much time to think about anything.”

TK said it matter of factly and Enzo almost moved past it. But he knew TK better than most. “You don’t have to punish yourself, kid,” he told him gently. “All you need to do is heal.”

“I’m not punishing myself,” TK objected, “I’m just...trying to keep busy. To distract myself.”

TK might very well think that, but Enzo was pretty sure it wasn’t true. But he was willing to move past it, for now.

“Tell me about the new crew,” he said instead, and smiled as TK launched into stories about a daredevil from Miami and a possible psychic from Chicago. He seemed enthusiastic and Enzo didn’t realize how good it felt to hear that until he had. It was like there was a little bit of life back in his voice and though he knew TK still had a long way to go to make this better, he was relieved to see that he was at least on the way.

------------

For a while, everything seemed to be going great. TK called and texted him from time to time, sharing anecdotes from calls and his new crew, and each time Enzo thinks he can hear just a little bit more of his old self returning to his voice. Sure he complains about one of them, for a while, but that too seems to sort itself out.

He could tell there is someone new in his life too, even if TK is hedgy about it at best. But Enzo was the first one to know that TK was gay at 14; he knew how to spot the signs.

“Why won’t you tell me about him?” he asked him one day, voice light and teasing as he stuffed his papers into his bag. “Is there something horribly wrong with him?”

“No,” TK countered emphatically, “there is nothing wrong with him. Absolutely nothing,” he added, almost an unconscious mutter Enzo was not entirely sure he was supposed to hear.

“So if there is ‘absolutely nothing’ wrong with him, why aren't you going for it?”

There was silence on the other end as Enzo slid his bag onto his shoulder, patiently waiting the younger man out.

“You know why,” he eventually said, voice low and sad. Enzo grimaced at how pained his voice sounded and he dropped back into his desk chair with a sigh.

“TK…” he began, but the younger man cut him off firmly.

“No, Enzo. I...I thought I could. I thought we could have something casual and that I could handle it. But then he wanted more and I hurt him. I don’t want to do that, he doesn’t deserve it. He’s too good to get dragged into my shitshow.”

“Have you asked him what he wants?” Enzo asked gently.

The bark of laughter TK gave at that was sharp and harsh, “Yeah, that should go well. Definitely won’t lead to me having to explain to this guy I’ve hooked up with a handful of times all the ways I’m fucked up right now.”

Enzo sighed again, leaning back in his chair, “It won’t always be like this, T. Someday you will be ready to try again, but only if you let yourself consider the possibility. Can you at least promise me that?”

There was silence for a long stretch and Enzo was about to ask him again when TK’s voice finally responded quietly, “Yes.”

“Good,” Enzo responded firmly, “because no matter what happened, you still deserve happiness. And someday you’ll be ready to let it in again — maybe sooner than you think.”

The sound of acknowledgment TK made sounded skeptical at best, but Enzo would take it. He knew he was right and he knew that someday TK would realize it too. Maybe even sooner than he thought.

------------

It’s about a week later when Enzo’s phone rings, nearly making him jump as he is pulled abruptly from his stack of midterms. It took him a few moments of shuffling blue books to even locate his phone and when he did he frowned at both the time and the name displayed on the screen.

“Hey kid,” he said lightly as he answered the phone, “what’s up?”

He had hoped he was overreacting, that TK was just calling him late because he was on shift and had lost track of the time. He had hoped that maybe the universe was finally giving the kid a break.

The despair and fear so clear in TK’s voice quickly prove him wrong.

“Hey Enzo,” he said softly, “fuck, I know it’s late and I’m sorry to bother you, but I just really needed to talk to someone.”

“You are never a bother,” Enzo told him firmly, capping his pen and setting it down on his desk. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” TK began before stopping, taking a deep breath and trying again, “I don’t know for sure yet, but I know something is.”

And Enzo believed him. The fear in his voice is so raw Enzo could feel every ounce of it even from a timezone away. “I’m going to need more than that, kid,” he told him gently, leaning back in his chair as he waited TK out.

“I found something,” TK said eventually, “that I definitely wasn’t supposed to find. And it means something awful. Something I don’t know if I can handle. But it also means he doesn’t trust me,” TK continued, “and somehow that almost feels worse.”

Enzo frowned, pondering all the non-specific details in his mind. He didn’t know all that much about his stepson’s life in Austin, but he knew enough to know that while he was close to his new crew, he wasn’t close enough to be this upset by an omission from one of them. That left him with two possibilities: the mysterious man he was not seeing, or Owen.

And Enzo knew which option was more likely and it made his heart sink. TK might not be sharing but Ezno knew both the Strand men better than most. If there was something Owen felt strongly enough to keep from his son that TK was this upset about, it wasn’t good news.

“You don’t have to tell me what it is,” he said cautiously, “but is it something about your dad?”

There was a deep, shuddering breath before TK responded, “Yeah.”

And Enzo shut his eyes, the hurt and fear in TK’s voice telling him all he needed to know.

“I don’t know what this is about,” he said eventually, “and you don’t have to tell me. But I do know you, and I know whatever it is you are going to want to be there for him, because that’s who you are. Let him know that, and the rest will follow from there.”

There was silence again, but Enzo waited TK out. He was familiar with this rhythm; when something was bothering TK he often took his time to make sure he had the words right before he spoke. Over the years Enzo had learned to wait him out knowing that he would get to his point when he was ready.

He did a few moments later, “I do want to be there for him,” TK agreed, “I just know why he didn’t tell me. He doesn’t think I can handle it — and he’s right,” TK confessed softly, “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” Ezno assured him firmly, “you can do anything you set your mind to. You always have.”

He let his words sink in for a moment before he added, “And I would talk to your dad before you make any assumptions. Let him know he can rely on you, let him know you want to be there.”

“You make it sound so easy,” TK said dryly, and Enzo huffed a laugh.

“In a way it is. It’s just words. It’s the actions behind them that are hard.”

There was silence again before TK spoke, his voice so quiet Enzo almost missed his next words, “I’m scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared,” Enzo reminded him, “sometimes fear is the appropriate response.”

But even as he said it, he could feel his heart breaking. He didn’t know what was going on and while he was sure he would find out soon enough, he couldn’t help but hate whatever it was. TK deserved some time to find himself, to heal and simply exist. He didn’t understand why the universe kept throwing such curveballs at him, but he wished with every fiber of his being it would stop.

“Sometimes it is,” TK agreed in a tone that made Enzo wonder even more what this was all about. But he didn’t ask; TK would tell him when he was ready. For now he would just be here for him. Sometimes that was all he could do.

--------------

As much as Enzo couldn’t help but worry about the younger man, sometimes the updates were a sign that things were getting better for him, slowly but surely.

One such time came as he and Gwyn were sitting on the couch together, Enzo making a case for watching Jeopardy with Gwyn adamantly refusing.

“No,” she said again with a firm shake of her head, “it always ends the same way.”

He shrugged, “I can’t help that you’re too competitive, or that I’m better at it then you are,” he added, giving her a sly grin.

“We can’t all have PhDs in history,” she said wryly, “some of us need to work for a living.”

He opened his mouth to fire back a retort but was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. “Saved by the bell,” he said instead with a shake of his head as he dug his phone out of his pocket. He frowned when he saw the familiar name on the screen and turned it so Gwyn could see.

“Hey T,” he said cautiously as he answered, “everything good?”

There was a lot of noise in the background but he could hear TK’s voice clearly as he answered, “Yeah, I just had a question for you. These people don’t believe me so I need your cred as a Columbia history professor to back me up.”

Enzo raised an eyebrow at Gwyn, who had leaned closer to hear. She bit her lip against a laugh and he shook his head fondly, “I’ll do what I can. What’s the question?”

“Hang on,” TK said, “I’m going to put you on speaker.” There was the sound of fumbling before the background noise grew louder and TK’s voice returned. “Okay guys,” he was saying, “this is my stepdad Enzo. He’s a history professor at Columbia and if you don’t believe me maybe you’ll believe him. You want to ask him the question, Paul?”

“Man, you didn’t need to…”

“No, this is a point of pride now.” TK objected indignantly and Enzo glanced at Gwyn to see that she had fully pressed a hand against her mouth to stop any laughter from slipping out and giving away her eavesdropping. “Ask him,” TK prompted and there was a sigh before a new voice joined the conversation.

“Sir, we are so sorry to bother you. TK’s just being a sore loser.”

“Paul, right?” Enzo asked and got a sound of confirmation in return, “You don’t have to tell me that, I helped raise him.” There was an indignant noise in the background, likely from TK, but Enzo ignored it. “What’s the question?”

“Who invented the first movie camera?”

“Louis Le Prince,” Enzo replied without hesitation, unable to suppress a chuckle at the sound of TK’s triumphant ha! In the background. “You guys thought it was Edison, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah,” Paul admitted sheepishly and Enzo chuckled lightly.

“That’s understandable. Edison was the first person to mass market it and the first to get recognized for it, but Le Prince was actually the first. But he mysteriously disappeared in 1890, right before he was set to take a trip to the US to talk about his invention. So he never got a chance to market it.”

There was silence for a moment before Paul spoke again, “So is there any proof Edison had him killed or…?”

“No,” Enzo admitted, “but that is one of the theories for sure. Another is his brother did it over the family will. Either way, Edison was not the first.”

“Huh,” Paul said thoughtfully, “that’s actually fascinating. Dude, I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“It’s fine,” TK said evenly, “I am more than a pretty face you know.”

There was a collective snort from the other end of the phone and Enzo glanced at Gwyn to roll his eyes. She shook her head fondly and he returned his attention to the call, “Any other burning history questions or was that it?”

The background noise lessened as TK took the phone off speaker. “No, that’s it. Thanks, Enzo.”

“Anytime kid,” he told him, “you know I love to flex my random history facts.” That got another laugh out of TK, but Enzo could still hear the background noise of a group in the background. The sounds of easy comradery set his mind at ease in a way not much else had since TK had left for Texas. “Why don’t you get back to your friends and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, thanks again.”

“Don’t mention it. I love you kid.”

“Love you too. Say hi to mom for me?”

“You’ve got it.”

With that the call was over and Enzo was left back in their silent living room, Gwyn looking at him with a soft smile.

“He sounds happy,” she said after a moment, her voice warm but thick. He nodded.

“He does. As much as I do hate to admit it, I think going to Austin may have the best thing for him.”

“You just hate that Owen was right.”

“And you don’t?” he asked her with a raised eyebrow.

“Well that’s a given,” she quipped, leaning closer to him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed them as she rested her head on her shoulder. “I’m just glad he’s doing better,” she said softly after a moment, “I’ve been so worried about him.”

“Me too,” he admitted, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair. That sat in silence for a few more moments, each lost in their own thoughts before he spoke again.

“So is that still a no to Jeopardy or…?”

She swatted at him and he grinned, ducking away from the light hit. Things seemed to have returned to their equilibrium, and that was a relief.

He just hoped it stayed that way.

-------------------

When he was wrested from sleep by the shrill sound of his phone ringing cutting through the late-night silence of his bedroom, Enzo groaned. He swore under his breath as he fumbled for the device, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he did. But when he managed to grasp his phone and saw the name on the screen, all thoughts of annoyance fled his mind. Owen Strand calling him was rarely a good sign. Owen Strand calling him at 2 am promised nothing short of disaster.

“Owen?” he said as he answered, skipping any and all attempts at pleasantries. “Is everything okay?”

He could afford to give the universe the benefit of the doubt, he decided; even if only for a moment.

When Owen’s reply came it was in a voice Enzo didn’t recognize. It was shaky and uncertain in a way that the other man never was.

“Enzo, hey. I’m sorry to bother you but Gwyn’s not answering her phone and…” he broke off with a shaky breath, “I really need to talk to her.”

“She’s in Beijing,” Enzo replied, sitting up and switching on the lamp beside him. “And given the time difference, probably in a meeting.”

He heard Owen swear distantly before he felt fear rise up in him. Owen calling him at 2 in the morning looking for Gwyn and out of sorts only added up to one thing, but Enzo so hoped he was wrong.

“Owen, did something happen to TK?” he forced himself to ask; the stress of not knowing was worse than anything else.

He could hear Owen take another breath, deep and shaky and filled with something else Enzo couldn’t identify on a phone call from half a country away.

“There was an...incident,” Owen said softly, voice still unsteady, “on our last call.”

Enzo’s mind was already spinning, stumbling from one horrible possibility from another.

“There was a man with dementia who broke into his old house and a homeowner who had a cardiac event and TK broke down the door and….he was shot.”

Enzo heard the words, he knew he did. But he couldn’t have. If he had heard them that would mean that TK had been shot and that was not something that could be true. His stepson was a firefighter. It was a profession that came with enough risks of its own. He had spent countless days worried and fearful at the thought of rescues gone wrong, of untamable flames and unstable buildings. Never once had he even entertained the thought of a bullet being a risk to watch out for. Bullets were supposed to be the problem of other people with other jobs — not his stepson, who already had so many dangers to face.

But it was true. The fear and pain in Owen’s voice told him it was true. There was an edge of both hysteria and despair in his words and that more than anything scared Enzo more than he could say.

“Where?” was the first coherent thought he could form.

“Just below his left shoulder” Owen repeated mechanically. “His...his lung collapsed before we were even out of the hallway. Enzo, he couldn’t breathe. He kept trying but he couldn’t and there was so much blood....” Owen trailed off and Enzo could hear the unmistakable sound of a sob in the background even as his own hands trembled and his eyes watered.

“Is he…” he started, but he couldn’t make himself say the words. He couldn’t speak the awful possibility into existence.

“He’s headed to surgery,” Owen replied. “I don’t know anything more than that, we only got here about 15 minutes ago. I just...I just hope it was fast enough.”

There was silence then as the two men allowed the same fear to consume them from opposite ends of the country. Enzo felt a morbid camaraderie with the other man in that moment. In the 16 years they had known each other it was safe to say that they had never exactly gotten along. They had always been polite and cordial for the sake of Gwyn, TK, and family gatherings but they were too different in too many ways that mattered to ever truly be friends. They had only ever agreed on one thing, and now that was the thing that tied them together — loving TK.

“You got him there as fast as you could Owen,” Enzo assured him without hesitation because there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that it wasn’t true. “You did everything you could. Any chance he has is because of you.”

“I think the credit lays more with the paramedics,” Owen objected, “but I appreciate the effort all the same.”

Enzo opened his mouth again, not quite sure what he was going to say but feeling the overwhelming need to say something, but he was interrupted before he got the chance to figure it out.

There was a noise on the other end followed by the sound of shuffling as Owen attended to whatever it was. When his voice returned, it was tight.

“That’s Gwyn on the other line, I’ve gotta take it. But listen, Enzo…”

But Enzo just shook his head, “Don’t worry about it Owen, talk to her. Just, keep me updated?”

“Of course,” he replied without hesitation, “as soon as I know anything.”

Then with another hurried goodbye, the call was over and Enzo was left in the dark and quiet bedroom, alone. It wasn’t long before the tears he had felt threatening began to fall in earnest as he wrapped his mind around this reality and allowed himself to dwell on it. There was a chance — a very real and terrifying chance — that they could lose TK. That Gwyn and Owen could lose the son they had brought into this world and loved for 26 years. That Enzo could lose one of the people he loved the most. The thought of TK not existing anymore was too horrible to dwell on.

Enzo was a religious man. He had been raised by a small Jewish family in a large community and his faith had been something that he had always had. It had seen him through so much. But now, with this, he had to wonder. It didn’t make sense that TK — his wonderful, caring stepson who had dedicated his life to helping people — should have to suffer so much in such a short time on earth. It went against everything he had ever believed about putting good into the world. Why should TK — who had never done anything to hurt anyone — have to suffer so? Why should he? He didn’t want to know what life without TK looked like.

More than anything, he hated that he might find out.

When Gwyn called him a few minutes later he pushed his own tears aside. He murmured soft reassurances as she sobbed in a quiet corner of a Beijing office building, consumed with fear and grief a world away from her child who was slipping further and further from them with every passing moment. He gave her empty platitudes, reassured her the best he could.

But all the while the fear was drilling a hole straight through his chest. This, he decided, was the worst fear he had ever felt.

The worst part was there was nothing he could do but wait, and hope desperately for the best.

----------------

The next several days were some of the longest of Enzo’s life. Each day he woke up and went about the day. Each day he kept his phone volume on, not wanting to miss any news either way. Each day an update came from Owen and each day it was the same: no change.

He debated going out to Austin — he had been halfway through buying a ticket online half a dozen times — but each time he stopped himself. Logically he knew that being there wouldn’t change anything. He would still be waiting, he’d just be waiting there. He told himself he was needed here, that he couldn’t just pick up and go across the country with no warning. It was the end of the semester and he had students to help to finish the course or their dissertation. He told himself staying was the responsible option, but he knew that it was largely just a distraction. But he would take any distraction he could get and so he pushed the guilt of not being there to the side

He taught his classes, he went through the motions. He fielded calls from Gwyn, still stuck in China and frantic with worry. Each day he reassured her; reminded her that TK was strong, young, and healthy. Above all that, he reminded her, he was stubborn. No bullet or coma was going to take him from them before he was ready.

Of course there was the private fear, the one he didn’t want to share, that he didn’t want to hang on anyone else. The one he was afraid to say out loud.

It was the thought that maybe, after everything, that was exactly what he did want. That maybe this was an out and that maybe, he would take it. That maybe he didn’t want to be alive anymore.

But that was a possibility too horrible to accept. Maybe it was selfish, but Enzo knew that even if that was the case, he wasn’t ready. He doubted he ever would be, but he certainly wasn’t now. He knew both Gwyn and Owen would agree. No time was a good time to lose your child — step or otherwise — but now, after this — after everything — was not the time.

So he waited, and hoped.

Time seemed to blend together and before he knew it one day had become two, which had stretched into four. Each moment passed the same way — tensely, with no news.

He knew he had been distracted too — keeping his ringer on during class and checking in throughout his lectures and office hours. He had apologized to his classes after the second telemarketer had caused him to drop everything and lunge for his phone, citing a family emergency and word had slowly gotten around. Soon it wasn’t just him hoping for the best, but most of the Columbia history department as well. Their well wishes were touching, but nothing short of good news was going to make him feel any better.

So when his phone did finally ring on a Thursday afternoon, 5 days after the fateful call, he picked it up with trepidation. The name on the screen sent his heart racing and he nearly dropped his phone in his haste to answer it.

“Owen?” he asked tersely, “Any updates?”

Because since that night they hadn’t spoken. All updates had come in the form of texts and the thought of Owen finally having something to tell him one way or the other simultaneously thrilled him and nearly froze him with fear.

But it wasn’t Owen’s voice that answered.

“Hey Enzo,” TK said, the sound of his voice rushing through Enzo’s body like a current of electricity. He sank back into his seat with a wobbly laugh, feeling nearly a week's worth of tension fall away as he listened to the miraculous sound of TK breathing on the other end of the phone.

“Hey kid,” he said warmly. “You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” he answered, “I really don’t feel too bad at all. A little sore, a little tired, but overall not bad.”

“I hear getting shot will do that to you,” Enzo retorted drily before sighing and running a weary hand down his face. “You scared the shit out of me, TK,” he admitted.

“Sorry,” TK replied softly, “I didn’t mean to worry anyone.”

“It’s not your fault,” Enzo rushed to reassure him, “I know you didn’t ask for this to happen but...shit TK, I am not built for this. Do you think you could avoid getting shot in the future, for my sanity at the very least?”

“I’ll try,” TK responded with a chuckle, “I don’t remember most of it but I don’t think it’s anything I want to revisit.”

“No, I’d imagine not,” Enzo retorted wryly. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts and taking comfort from the presence of the other even if it was only over a phone call from half a country away. “So,” he finally said, leaning into normal conversation for the sake of normalcy, “is your dad driving you nuts yet?”

“Yes,” TK responded emphatically, “he has been hovering non-stop, and he brought a date.”

Enzo could hear indignant sputtering in the background and Owen muttering something about him not bringing a date, that his date had simply come to visit him to see how he was doing and, maybe because of all the fear and stress of the past week, Enzo could only laugh.

“That sounds like your dad,” he retorted once he caught his breath, “and I wouldn’t count on that changing anytime soon.”

“She seemed cool at least,” TK allowed, voice teasing, “I don’t know why he was trying to keep her a secret.”

“Excuse you,” Owen’s voice objected from the background, “I am not the one who had a hot cop sitting by my bedside. You don’t get to talk about keeping secrets.”

“Dad,” TK groaned and Enzo’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, so the mystery man is a cop,” he teased, “and the plot thickens.”

Now it was TK’s turn to splutter, “Nope, we are not doing this. That is more than enough from both of you,” he declared and Enzo could hear Owen chuckling at his son’s indignation from the background. It was a slice of normal that he had feared he’d never get again. To be sitting here hearing TK’s voice, teasing him about something so simple as the guy he had a crush on seemed like a miracle and Enzo was grateful for it.

Everything was normal again, at long last.

----------------

Sometimes he thinks that turning on news alerts for Austin was the worst decision he had ever made.

It seemed practical, at the time. An easy way to stay in the know, to have an idea of what kind of calls TK may have seen on any given day. But now he was frozen in the middle of the hallway after one of his classes staring at a notification about a solar storm that had blasted through Austin, leaving devastation in its wake; regretting every decision that led him to this point.

He knew TK was still on medical leave. He knew that he should be home and resting after only being released from the hospital two days before. But he also knew his stepson and knew that whenever there was trouble, TK was usually not too far behind.

It was with that thought in his mind that he stepped out out the middle of the hallway and leaned against the wall as he waited anxiously for the call to connect. The sound of a pleasant robotic voice informing him that his call could not be completed filled him with dread, but he forced himself to take a breath. It didn’t mean anything. The grid was likely overloaded right now; Enzo couldn’t say he knew for sure what kind of damage a solar storm could do but he was willing to guess that it wasn’t great for the electronic infrastructure.

Left with no other options he went on about his day, the familiar anxiety he had only recently shed slipping back over him like a worn winter coat. He tried calling a few more times, trying to ignore how the dread in his gut grew each and every time the call didn’t go through. He resisted the urge to ask one of his science colleagues to explain the specifics of a solar storm; reasoning that dealing with his own uncertainty would be far kinder than having confirmed facts. At least this way, he decided, he could tell himself he was overreacting.

It was far too many hours before his phone rang; an unfamiliar number appearing on his lock screen. He frowned at it but swiped to answer. He did list his cell number on all of his course syllabi, but for the most part his students stuck to his campus email, or — in desperate times — text.

“Dr. Cohen,” he answered, mentally placing bets as to whether it was actually a student or a robot trying to inform him about the extended warranty of the car he didn’t own.

To his immense relief, it was neither. Instead, a familiar voice answered, sending a rush of relief through him at the sound, “Hey, Enzo, it’s me.”

“TK,” he breathed, setting down the paper he had been reading and closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

“More or less,” he answered sheepishly and Enzo was about to push for more than that when he caught the distinct sound of a hospital intercom in the background.

“Tyler Kennedy Strand, are you in the hospital again?” he demanded and he heard a weary sigh from the other end before a quiet “yeah” was muttered.

“It’s not a big deal though,” TK rushed to explain, “I’m fine. I just pulled my stitches.”

There was another voice in the background that Enzo didn’t recognize and could barely hear, but what he could hear made it clear that the other voice was not impressed either.

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” TK demanded, and Enzo was not entirely sure who he was speaking to, “Let her drown in a burning bus?”

“You just got out of the hospital!” Enzo objected when he could form words again, “What were you doing somewhere where there was a burning bus?!”

“We just went out for boba,” TK retorted, “I didn’t expect there to be a solar storm that caused a bus accident.”

And Enzo forced himself to take a deep breath because that was fair, he supposed. There was no way anyone could control anything like that. Still…

“The next time you move we’re going to need to do some research,” he declared. “Because if it is anywhere as chaotic as Austin, I’m going to have to object.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” TK assured him, “I think I’ll be in Austin for a while.”

There was a smile in his voice and Enzo somehow had the feeling he was intruding on something, even though TK had been the one to call him.

“What number are you calling me from?” he asked, testing his theory.

“I borrowed Carlos’s phone,” TK answered in a voice that said he knew what was coming and he hoped it would at least be quick.

“Oh,” Enzo replied, “and Carlos wouldn’t happen to be the name of a certain ‘hot cop’ your father mentioned, aka the mystery man I have been trying to get you to tell me about for months?”

“Yes.”

“And when you say ‘we’ were trying to get boba…”

“Enzo…”

“And he wouldn’t happen to be with you right now, would he?”

“Are you done?” TK demanded, and Enzo only laughed.

“Not nearly, kid; I’m just getting started.”

And despite TK’s muttering, Enzo could tell that he sounded happier than he had heard him sound in ages. He marveled at the fact that somehow, despite everything, TK had managed to find the happiness and peace he had hoped for him ever since he left New York all those months ago. Between the disasters he had managed to take his broken pieces and fit them back together, maybe even stronger than they had been before.

It was all he had ever wanted for him, and he was relieved beyond belief that he had found it.

“You know, this means I’m going to have to come down there soon,” he said instead, “I’ve got to meet this mystery man for myself.”

He could practically hear TK rolling his eyes, but his voice was impossibly warm when he assured him, “You’ll like him, Enzo.”

“Do you like him?” he asked.

“Yeah,” TK responded without a moment’s hesitation, “I do.”

“Then I already do,” he assured him.

If this Carlos had anything to do with the happiness he could finally hear returned to his stepson’s voice, he couldn’t do anything but.

#911 lone star #911 lone star fic #my writing #tk strand #enzo #userkimmy #userjilly #userac #userbones #reyesstrand #reyeslonestartag #tuserpaige #tuserjamie #buckybarnesalways #laelipoo #I know for sure I usually tag more people but it's been so long I can't remember

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iamyoursinblog · 4 years

Text

Nuna[END]

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff, smut

Word Count: 6,7 k

Part: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [extra]

LIST

________________________

POV Jungkook

He went into the elevator and rested his forehead against the wall. So long it can't last. His breathing was heavy, and his heart was beating too fast. He barely stopped himself today. But you were too sexy. He won a small victory. But why was it feel so sad deep inside.

You were right in everything. Now it’s clear why you saw the child in him. He only thought about his feelings. Why didn’t he think about the reality in which he lived. What was he hoping for. He could not date with anyone, and if someone take a photo of him with a girl, the group would have problems because of him. He is such a fool! That's why he gets into all sorts of troubles. He cannot even come to you when he wants it, only when they have free time. “See you tomorrow” - he doesn’t even know if he will be able to leave the dorm tomorrow. But he must take a chance, not for that he went so far as to surrender so easily now. He must do everything possible. You agreed - that was the only thing that mattered. You watched a movie while you sat in his arms. He smiled. He must tease you, you must feel that need him. If while he can’t win your heart, he must at least conquer your body. He knows that you always played with guys, if he wants to be with you, he should become the main one in this game.

He quickly got home and went into the apartment. The party was in full swing. For a long time he had not seen hyungs so drunk.

“Kooky !!! Where were you my favorite, maknae. I missed you so much. ”Jin hugged him, kissing him on the cheek.

"Hyung, you're drunk!" he tried to break out of hyung's steel grip.

"Have you got a girlfriend?" asked Yoongi

“Of course, I have a lot of free time for this. What is the reason for that party? ” he quickly changed the subject.

“It's just that when you meet friends you no come so earlier and you are always drunk. And now it’s not even midnight and you are sober” Hoseok said with suspiciously.

“Reporter Kim Namjoon, Bangtan TV. Comment of this situation, Mr. Jeon” approached him Namjoon, using a bottle of soju instead of a microphone.

“Hyungs, you are all drunk. I have a photoshoot tomorrow morning. So I didn’t drink much and returned early” he made excuses.

“Okay, okay ... Justified!" Hoseok tapped with a spoon on the table.

Everyone began to laugh. He joined them, and taking a beer. " Do you like _________? Why do you constantly write dirty stuff to her all times.” asked Jin to Yoongi.

Jungkook choked a beer. ‘Why are you asking him this, hyung’, he thought. So he need to calm down. It is impossible that they all recognize on the first day.

“Yes, I like her” Yoongi replied, and Jungkook felt a growing worry inside. “We are sex friends” Namjoon dropped a can of beer, Hoseok was sitting with his mouth wide open, and Jungkook could not move from what he had just heard. He laughed out loud. “Wow ... It was worth it! This is a reaction! Daebak! She and I are friends in sex conversations. She knows everything about me and I about her. We give advice to each other, etc. There is nothing between us except friendship ”

“So you know all her boyfriends?” asked Jin

"Yes I knew"

“And do you know which idol she date?” sat closer Hoseok

"Yes I knew. But only they did not date, they just had sex. He does not have time for a relationship, she too. So they met together”

"Who is it? Who?" Hoseok bounced from excitement on a chair

"I will not say. If she wanted you to know, she would tell you herself” Yoongi replied, taking a sip of whiskey.

"But we are so interested" whined Hoseok

“I even have no doubt that you are interested”

“At least tell me from which group he is?” Yoongi shook his head, “Okay! At least tell me what agency he is from? ” did not give up Hoseok

"Okay, nevermind. Who cares who he is. This is her own business, it does not concern us. You don't want go to the barbecue? Long time we not ate grill meat ” said Jungkook

He tried to change the topic several times, but Hoseok still did not give up, and tried to find out who you were meeting. 'I wonder ____ will tell Yoongi about me,' he thought. While you were talking, the front door opened, Taehyung and Jimin came very drunk.

“Weren't you in the spa? Why the hell are you so drunk, and most importantly where? ” asked Namjoon

“We met a hubaes, they were going to a barbecue. They invited us to join them "said Taehyung, staggering

"Our maknaes are so grown" fell on the table Jin

Everyone laughed because of Jin' dramatic behavior. The rest of the night was a lot of fun. After everyone went sleep, he stayed with Yoongi in the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Yoongi asked, passing him a new beer.

"What are you talking about, hyung?" he asked him

“Do you like ________? That's why you are acting like this? ”

"Why do you think so? All is fine, hyung, I'm just tired, that's all! ”

“That you can tell others. You practically stop breathing when we talk about her. What happened at the last party? ”

"Nothing happened. Everything as usual"

“You don't want to talk, okay. I want to give you friendly advice: don’t start what you’re not sure about and don’t ruin everything because of a second desire ”

“What if I'm sure?”

Yoongi raised his head and looked into his eyes for several seconds studying his face. He got up and went up to him. Putting a hand on his shoulder, he said, “Sometimes, one-sided confidence may not be enough. Just be careful, otherwise it will hurt you in the end.” He squeezed his shoulder lightly before headed for the bedroom.

He sat and looked at the wall. Why does everyone say that he should be hurt. Is there really no chance that everything would be fine. Even your consent is more a way to show him that nothing will work out than a chance to be with him. “My confidence is enough for two,” he whispered, taking his last sip of beer. Throwing to bin empty can, he went into the bedroom. Having taken a shower, he put on his pajamas and lay down in bed. He checked the phone, there are no notifications from you, although you wrote a lot in group chat. You were still online, everyone is already sleeping, maybe you are texting with Yoongi. he opened a private chat with you and wrote

'Good night, cutie. It’s a pity that you are not near me. I want to fall asleep next, hugging you'

A minute later, the answer came: 'Didn't you say that you should get up early? Why aren’t you sleeping yet? '

'Do you worry about me? I am pleased to'

'Good night' he smiled at your answer, or rather that you did not answer his question.

'I like you, nuna. Fall in love in me'

'Crazy' he laughed after reading your answer.

Putting the phone under the pillow, he fell asleep with a smile on his face. For the first time in a long time, he slept very well. No thoughts disturbed him. Although he did not oversleep so much, in the morning he felt completely rested. He quickly packed up and went to the parking lot where the manager was waiting for him. “You look well rested, apparently you slept well.” Said the manager as soon as he saw him.

"Truth? Today I really slept really well.” He smiled as he got into the car. The first half of the day passed calmly. He could not stop smiling when they did makeup, because he was thinking about you all the time. He was wondering if you want to become their makeup artist. No, it was a bad idea. He would not be able to control himself, and all the staff would know about you within 5 minutes. While he was getting ready to shoot, he quickly wrote you 'Good morning. Have a good day. Do not strain your hand' a few minutes later he received the answer 'Good morning. Aren't you in the photoshoot? Don't be distracted from work.'

‘Oh dear, what a little grumpy. It's so cute’, he thought.. A few hours later it was all over. He hoped that their schedule was not very busy, and he could see you at least for half an hour. He got into the car and plunged in search of online flower delivery, it would be difficult for him to do it personally. He hoped that after 10 pm he would be free, so he made an order for this time and immediately paid back. He is also ordering a bottle of good wine and your favorite cake with the inscription 'Demo cake in honor of the first day of our demo relationship' While he was looking at the phone, the car stopped. He looked out the window, they were in the home parking lot. He saw other members near their group's van.

"Have you packed your stuff? If not, then hurry up”said the manager while getting out of the car.

“What, which stuff? What are you talking about, hyung? ” he asked, not understanding what was happening.

“What? Didn’t you hear yesterday? We are leaving for Busan to shoot a video, until the end of the week. Hurry up” said the manager. He stood in the middle of the parking lot, not believing what was happening now. To Busan? Until the end of the week? Stop. If this was known yesterday, Jin could tell you that they will leaving until end of the week. Really ... No, this cannot be ... You agreed to be with him because of you knew that he was leaving, and this only shows that he cannot do what he wants and date with someone he wants? The reality was too cruel.

He went into the elevator and dialed you.

“Did you know?”

“And hello to you. What are you talking about?" you asked.

“Did you know about this? Is that was your plan? ”

“I'm of course smart enough, but now I don’t understand what you’re talking about. You can calm down and ask a normal question. What exactly did I must to know and what plan are you talking about?”

“Did you know that I was leaving for Busan today until end of the week? Jin told you that yesterday? So thats why you agreed to try to be with me? To show me that nothing will happen the way I want? ”

You sighed heavily, “If you are going to make such teenage tantrums, then let's finish everything right now” you said in a calm voice and hung up. He was practically seething with anger when he reached his room. He threw things into the suitcase with force. Having collected all that is necessary, he went down to the parking lot and got into the car to the others.

"What happened? The photoshoot was a bad? In the morning you were in a good mood, ”Jimin asked when he sat down beside him.

“You're right, the mood was even too good.”

“You wrote _______ that we'll leaving until end of the week. Didn’t you make a meeting with her for tomorrow? ” asked Yoongi to Jin.

"Oh heck!!! I completely forgot. Because of our party, it completely flew out of my head. I'll write to her now” Jin took out his phone and started writing a message.

Jungkook dropped the phone from his hand. Damn, he screwed up. Again. He ruined everything without even having time to start. For an hour he could think of nothing but how stupid he had acted. Looking at the phone, he remembered the order he was doing. He went into the confirmation of the order, and sent a request to change the inscription on the cake 'Forgive me. I'm really not a mature child. Please give me one last chance.' Upon reaching the place, they had dinner and arrived at the hotel. He was settled in one room with Taehyung, but he was lucky because Taehyung went out for a walk with the rest of the members. He lay on the bed, and continued to look at the phone. He madly wanted to write or call you. But he could not. Not after what he made this afternoon. He received a notice that his order had been delivered. But you didn’t write anything ...

The next few days he did not even understand what he was doing, he just did everything that was told to him. He very often caught the worried glance of the members. But he didn’t care. On the last evening, he alone lay in the room, because everyone had left to a nightclub. Tomorrow morning they were returning home. They had a few days off.

He heard a knock on the door and got out of bed to open the door. On the threshold stood Yoongi. He had several bottles of soju in his hands. He walked by and sat on the floor between the beds. He put down two glasses and poured them. Jungkook still stood by the door.

"Sit down" said Yoongi

He went to the bed and sat on the floor opposite. Yoongi without a word handed him a glass and taking his drank it to the bottom, maknae did the same. Yoongi again poured them a full glass and they drank again. This went on several times. After the fifth glass, Yoongi finally broke the silence. "Talk" he said, filling the glasses again.

"There is nothing to talk ..."

Yoongi interrupted maknae not letting him finish the sentence. “If you say that 'everything is fine' or start talking about how tired you are. I swear I'll kick your ass. Therefore, stop lying and tell what is happening. Or should I call and ask _____?”

No, he certainly didn’t want it. He has not talked to you since that day. You haven’t written anything to him. You were right, now he really was hurt. He drank a glass, and tell his story. He told absolutely everything in detail, without hiding anything. He could no longer keep it into himself. He could not raise his head, he was too ashamed to look at hyung in his eye.

“God, you fool. Moron. How could it be so screwed up in a few days.” Yoongi sat and shaking his head. “Didn't I warn you that it will be so? Why didn’t you listen _______, when she told you the same thing. Of course, I understood that something goin on, but I did not expect that you had already managed to ruin everything ”

“Hyung, I know that I’m an idiot even without you. What I screwed up. This is not what I want to hear from you. ”

“No, you really listen. Another thousand, tens of thousands, millions of times how exactly you screwed up! ”

"What should I do now, hyung?" How can I fix it? ”

"What to do? To fix? Forget it, until you make the situation worse. It's not have enough for you of suffering, do you still want her to suffer because of you? Do you think I was not falling in love with her? ”

“Hyung ...” he was in shock.

“You are such a child. How could I not fall in love with her. It was as soon as we met. But unlike you, I reallist at things. Therefore, I put my feelings to hell until they grew. I have no regrets, we are good friends. But if I then tried to do something, I would ruin everything. That's why I advised you to think carefully about what you are going to do. Did you really think she set it up? ”

“Yes, I thought so. I just could not believe that she agreed. And it was easier for me to think into something bad, than to hope for sincerity on her part. When I heard in the car that she knew nothing .... Hyun, I thought I was going to die at that moment. It hurt so much for what I told to her. She is right that I am a child who is driven only by feelings. But I'm not ready to give up so easily. I will make any decision, but I can’t live if I don’t even try to fix it.”

“On the one hand, I envy you, your romantic hope. But on the other hand, I'm afraid you’ll hurt yourself even more ”

“It can’t be more hurts than now. So at least I will know that I did everything I could. And I won’t imagine every night "what could happened!"

“I won’t stop you, but I won’t help you either. The only help I can give you is to pretend that this conversation never happened. ”

They drank the last glass, and Yoongi went into his room. He sat on the floor and looked at the ceiling. He took the phone out of his pocket and wrote you the message 'Forgive me. Good night'

In the morning, absolutely everyone was tormented by a terrible hangover. On the way, they stopped at a restaurant for a portion of hangover soup. He liked that everyone was silent and no one paid attention to him. In silence, they returned home. Having taken a shower, he was lying in his room thinking what to do. He quickly dressed and drove to you. On the way, he bought flowers, he scared the seller with his appearance. She probably thought he was a robber. After a while he stood in front of your door. He looked at the bell and did not dare to ring it. Have you been home? Have you been home alone? Thoughts revolved in his head. Taking a few deep breaths, he rang the doorbell. After a moment he heard a noise after the door, it's good. You were at home. Opening the door, you examined him from head to toe.

“You're not from the delivery I ordered. What are you doing here?"

"Can we talk? Please"

You took a step back by letting him into the apartment. Turning around you went to the living room. You turned off the TV and sat on the sofa. He was following you, his head was empty. He laid flowers on a coffee table, went to you and knelt.

"What are you doing? Get up"

"Please forgive me. I will make any decision of yours and do everything as soon as you want. But please give us another chance. The last chance. Please” he was kneeling looking at the floor. He was unable to look you in the eye.

“Isn't it you who made the decision. You made it clear enough that you think of me. So why are you now kneeling in front of me and talking about some chance there” you got up and wanted to go past him. He took your hand stopping you. He rose from the floor and turned you to him.

"Forgive me. Sorry ... I just could not believe that you gave me a chance ... What did you give a chance to someone like me ... Therefore, when I heard about the trip, I could not stop my thoughts that you only wanted to play with me ... And only then I learned in the car that Jin didn’t tell you anything ... I felt like the last bastard. Forgive me."

“If you didn’t trust me from the very beginning, what the point to discuss something now. What the point was to start something at all”

"I trust you. Forgive me"

“So you made a tantrum because you trust me? So you said that I set it up everything because you trust me? You thought that I was just playing with you because you trust me? Have you even thought about me for a second? Have you ever thought for a second that I really want to try something with you? But I'm more angry for myself. I was wrong. It hurt me too. It was too painful to hear this from you.” You turned your back to him.“ Go away ” you whispered ...

Everything inside was broken. You gave him a chance because you really started to like him. But he only hurt you. He came up and hugged you from back. You took a step forward breaking out of his arms. He hugged you again. You turned around pushing him away “I said, go away” he came up and kissed you. Again pushing him away, you hit a slap in the face. He took your wrists and pressed against the wall. He held your wrists over your head while he kissed you again. Your quarrel only excited him. The fact that his feelings were mutual, removed any fear in him. He pressed you with his body, preventing you from moving. After a couple of minutes your attempts to break out completely disappeared. He looked up from your lips and said, looking into your eyes, “I want you! You have three seconds to stop me. 1,2 ... ” before he said '3' you kissed him. This time the kiss was very hard and painful. His fingers stumbled forcefully into your body leaving traces. He could not control himself now. Everything that happened over the past week, all the feelings and pain, everything was reflected in this kiss. He lifted you up in the air so that you would wrap your legs around his waist. He went to your bedroom without breaking the kiss. Throwing you on the bed, he took off his hoody and T-shirt before kissing you again. Your fingers pressed into his skin. He practically tore off your clothes. The excitement was too strong to delay or be gently. After your kiss at the door, he woke up every night from his moans, because he dreamed of you, how he fucks you. He was lucky what Taehuyng sleep very soundly, and did not catch him when he woke up from the fact that he was moaning your name in a dream. He quickly took off the rest of his clothes before returning to bed. He sharply turned you on your stomach and bent your leg up.

You were also very excited like him, so despite the fact that you squeezed his cock inside, he was able to enter the entire length. He came out of you abruptly. And he made a harder jolt, making your body tremble. He lost the remnants of control over himself. He fucked you with hard, deep jolts. Sensations sent electric charges through his spine. The way your body trembled under him from the pleasure and your moans grew louder, covered him with a wave of pleasure. He won’t keep so long because you squeezed his cock with your pussy. He ran his fingers through your hair, squeezing them tightly. His teeth left marks on your neck and shoulders. He wanted to show everyone that you belong to him. There was nothing civilized in this sex, only animal passion. “I'll cumming now” you moaned when his jolts became too fast. He was glad, he barely held on. It was too good. The sensations were so strong that it seemed the heart would now stop from enjoying. He moved his hand to the clit and rubbed it. Your body trembled under him while you cum hard. His dick would be squeezed by your pussy so tightly that he could hardly move to make a few jerks. His dick twitched filling you with sperm. His whole body was chained by an orgasm, that fell upon him.

He was lying on you. He could feel how your and his hearts beating fast in unison. He was breathing heavily while recovering. He had never experienced such a strong orgasm in his life. He felt his cock pulsating inside you. Despite the fact that he just cum very hard, he was still completely hard on. He flipped you onto your back and entered you again. He hugged you and rolled over. Now you was lay on him. He continued to make slow, shallow jolts. Pleasure rose in waves, spreading warmth through the body. He wanted more. He felt his jolts make his sperm flow out of you. Every push made your skin goosebumps. He again felt very excited. He began to make deep jerks. Tougher than before, although they were still slow. His fingers dug into your hips, pushing you as deep on him as possible. Your hands moved to his wrists. You squeezed his hands hard enough, push him out to the bed. You kissed him hard by biting his lip. Pain pierced him, but why did it only make him more excited. “Now it's my turn,” you said. You ran your hands over your body, squeezing your breast. The sight of you swinging on his cock, and your hands playing with your breast, made him as excited more. When you descended on his cock, he raised his hips making jolt harder. Your one hand moved to his stomach, digging his nails into his abs. The pain made his cock twitch in you. He abandoned his attempts to move and lay calmly, accepting everything that you give him.

You was put your hands on his chest. It made you change the angle of penetration into you. Your movements have become faster. His glans rubbed against the wall of the vagina. His body was trembling with pleasure. Each of your movements sent a discharge through his body that made him arch his back. “If you continue like that, I’m not enough for even 5 minutes,” he whispered, breathlessly with pleasure. You lowered and ran your tongue over his nipple. 'You want his dead', he thought when you did the same with another nipple. He was on the verge. He sat abruptly, making you stay kneel again. He wrapped his arm around your waist to control your jolts, slowing them down. He sucked your nipple in his mouth. Your breast drove him crazy all this time. He played with his tongue with your nipple, sucking it. He clamped your nipple with his teeth and felt how tightly you squeezed his cock, he repeated the same thing to another. He lowered you to cock forcing you to do hard jerks. You pushed him down again so he lay down. He was lying looking at you. Just your appearance could make him cum right now. Your body was wet, he could see red marks on your hips and neck that he had left, and your eyes were covered with pleasure. You looked very lecherous. He lost count of how many nights he spent imagining you that way while jerking off. Your pace has accelerated greatly, and your fingers have moved to your clitoris. He kept his last strength so as not to cum first. His fingers caressed your skin. He ran across your stomach, rising to your chest. Your skin was so hot. “Damn it, fuck, fuck.. I’m cumming ... Oooh, this is too fucking good.." you said and tightly squeezed his cock inside, which made his body tremble with pleasure. He gripped you tightly in his arms as you fell onto his chest. He continued to make quick hard jolts reaching his orgasm, he could not control the loud moans that burst from him when he cumming. It felt like whole his body was breaking. As if he were drawn into a hurricane, and his body just hung in the air. He could neither hear nor see anything around. He felt like in heaven.

It seems he lost consciousness for several minutes, but you didn’t even notice this, because you also came to your senses after an orgasm. His whole body was trembling. He rolled onto side when he was able to feel his body again. He lay in an embrace you and he left a tender kiss on your lips. He pressed you closer to his body, he wanted to completely dissolve into you, what was this moment never ends. Now in this world there was nothing but the two of you. He did not want to return to reality without knowing what awaited him there.

“We need a shower, but my body refuses to move,” you said, resting on his chest.

“I don’t feel my body, let's forget about the shower. I like being dirty. ” you laughed at his words. The sound of your laughter, the fact that you were lying embracing him made his melt, from the tenderness that he felt. Despite the fact that this was the first time, the feeling was as if you had been dating for many years. After a while, you still got up and went into the shower. He leaned against the wall, clutching you to him, while hot water flowed down your bodies. He did not want to lose even the slightest opportunity to feel you. Leaving the shower, he gently wiped your body while your fingers played with his wet hair. He pulled you and kissed you. Your lips are so seductive, he wanted to kiss you every second. Back on the bed, you pulled out the bedspread to the floor and were light at a clean bedding. It felt so natural. You two were cuddling in your bed. After a long time, you asked him, “Don't you have to go back at dorm?”

Reality brought you back from heaven to earth. But he did not want to let go of his, even a short, moment of happiness. He reached into the pants that were lying on the floor and pulled out his phone. He quickly printed a message saying that he would stay with friends today because they were going to drink all night, and sent it to Jin. Without waiting for an answer, he threw the phone back into a pile of your clothes. “No, don't. I want to stay with you tonight. I want to sleep with you and hugging all night. And I absolutely do not care if you do not want it. If you’ll be indignant, I’ll just bind you” he said with a grin.

"Look at you, how you talk" you answered laughing.

“And by the way, looking ahead, I want to say right away. I regard all of this as your positive response, in to give me one last chance. ”

“Okay” you raised your head to meet his eyes. "The last chance. The conditions remain the same: no jealousy, no commitment and no demands. ”

“This time I will not spoil anything”

“You didn’t forget that in a month you’re going on tour, and next week you start preparing for the concert? Just clarifying just in case”

"I remember". But he did not want to think about it now. He will simply rejoice at every moment that you can spend together. Now he was happy and you were in his arms.

[The day before leaving for the tour]

He was happy that he had the opportunity to break out to you, albeit not for long. All this time you managed to meet only for short moments. You came to the hostel several times. He remembered how quickly dragged you into the bathroom while everyone was busy in the kitchen. He left some quick slaps on your ass becouth you were changing into Jin clothes again. “I want only my clothes, my hands, my lips and my cock on or into your body. You understood?” he ripped off the shorts from you and made some hard jerks. He abruptly stepped out of you, straightened his clothes, and stepped out of the bathroom. He left another slap on your bare ass before leaving you choking on excitement. He practically laughed when he remembered that he had paid for it, because you seduced him all evening, after what you left without giving the opportunity to even touch you.

He got to your door and rang the bell. You opened the door, "Hello," you said, and he froze. You were only wearing a transparent lace cape on a naked body. A grocery bag that was in his hand slipped down. He didn't care. He began to take off his clothes while closing the door behind him. He pushed you against the wall, unfastening his pants. In a second he was already deep into you. He fucked you maybe too hard, but he couldn't stop. Each jolt into your tight hot pussy felt too good, he could not restrain loud moans. He did not care if the whole house heard his moans. He kissed you. It was a kiss saturated with lust, desire and debauchery... He could no longer endure, he put his hand between you, covering your clitoris with your fingers. He quickly rubbed it to make you cum. As soon as you squeezed his cock with force, he could no longer restrain his orgasm. You have cum at the same time. His fingers pressed into your skin while he was lost in his pleasure. Your moans mixed up filling the apartment. After a few minutes, you were still standing motionless. He hugged you, holding your body to himself while he was still inside you. “And hello to you” he laughed...

“Usually people kiss first each other at the meeting, rather than fuck hard at the door” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“Didn't I kiss you? As for me, this is the best greeting in all times”

“Didn't you left the grocery bag behind the door?”

“Heck, food” he gently stepped out of you. He took some napkins and wiped himself off. Putting his pants back on, he reached for a T-shirt that was lying on the floor. “Go to the shower, I'll prepare everything for the barbecue for now” he said, turning you towards the shower and slightly slapping you.

"Crazy". Before you could take a step, he slipped fingers into your hair. He turned your head and kissed you passionately. He ran the finger of his second hand over your pussy, playing with your clit, he made your body tremble. He tucked his head away to run a finger across your lower lip before sticking it into your mouth. Your soft moan made you tighten his grip on your hair. He removed a finger from your mouth and kissed you again. He groaned when he felt your and his taste on your lips. His fingers gripped your nipple, making your moan loudly. “You and me are perfect mix” he said with a lustful smile. He turned you and took the second nipple in his mouth eagerly sucking it. He put fingers in your pussy, stretching you. He used sperm as a lubricant to fuck you. He quickly jerk his fingers inside you, each time hitting your clitoris. While your hips not started trembling with an advancing orgasm. He felt you squeeze his fingers. “Wait. Please ... I’ll cumming now ... Fuck!” you gasped at the combination of his mouth on your nipples and his fingers with the force of fucking you. He kissed you again drowning out your moans while you hard cum on his fingers. He slowly drove wet fingers over your clit, stretching your orgasm ... He stepped back, inspecting you from head to toe. Raising his hand, he licked his fingers. His lips glistened with your juices, and he drew his tongue over them, “You are so tasty,” he grinned.

“I think I’m influencing you badly” you said, shaking your head, turning to the side of the bath. He pressed you to the wall, leaving a bite on your neck.

“I like how you influence me” he kissed you once more before letting go. He opened the door and laughed, seeing a bag around which groceries were scattered. He quickly assembled everything and went into the kitchen. He took out a grill and washed the leaves of lettuce and perilla for your barbecue. He chopped vegetables and then set the table. You went into the kitchen just when he had finished arranging everything. You easily patted his ass, “Such a good boy.” He smiled broadly when he turned and saw that you were in his T-shirts and shorts, which he left with you. “You look just unrealistically sexy in my stuff” he left a light kiss on your lips.

You laughed while preparing a barbecue. He did not want to think that he was leaving tomorrow, and would not be able to see you for a very long time. He enjoyed every second spent with you.

“I have homework for you while I am gone” he said.

"Homework? I’ve already left that age when I doing homework, plus I’ve never been a diligent student.”

“For some reason, I am absolutely not surprised at this. Bad girl. Wait you distracted me ”

"Okay, I'm listening to you."

“I want our relationship to become real, and not a demo version. I do not ask you to answer right now. Just think about it while I'm gone. If you'll miss me hard enough, answer me yes. If my absence will be not noticeable to you, I will forget about this conversation, and our relationship will remain at the same level, and this conversation will never happen again ” he tried to sound calm, despite the excitement that made his heart beat at a frantic speed.

“Okay, I'll think about it.”

Having finished dinner, he had to return to dorm and pack his things. The first time I felt sad when going on a tour.

•…•…•…•…•…•…•…•…•…•…•…•…•

A month and half later...

He was lying on the bed in the room. He liked that the schedule was full. Constant repetition and preparations did not let him lose his mind on how much he missed you. They changed another city. You often chat with him, he told you how their tour goes, telling funny stories that happened to them. Your communication was the same. But he still haven’t answered the homework he gave you. He could not ask you, because he promised you to make any decision, but why he was so sad about it. He took out the phone and wrote to you, sending some photos from their rehearsal. Despite the time difference, you answered quickly enough. He call you, wanting to hear your voice.

"How are you?" he asked as soon as you picked up

"I am pretty good. There is a lot of work now, so I’m practically not comming back at home. ”

You talked discussing who was doing what the last days. Half an hour later, you said goodbye, wishing each other good night.

He went to the shower when he heard a notification sound. He went out and looked at the phone; he was sure that it was either one of the members or a manager. He was surprised when he saw your name on the screen. He opened the message

'By the way, Jungkook. I finally got the answer to your homework. ' His heart skipped a beat. He was worried too much because of which he did not can put at the right letters. After a third attempt, he was finally to write the message correctly

“And what is the answer to your homework?”

His heart was beating hard while he waited for an answer. It seems time has stopped going for him. Waiting seemed like an eternity. Finally got a response

'I miss you!'

He practically squealed with joy. He climbed onto the bed and jumping with joy, like a child who was got best Christmas present. He absolutely didn't care about Jimin, who went into the room and froze in the doorway.

"Are you crazy?" asked Jimin

He ran to Jimin and hugged him, lifting him into the air. He left a kiss on his cheek before releasing and going to the bathroom. Jimin was still standing in the middle of the room and was in deep shock from what just had happened. He went into the bathroom and re-read your message.

“I miss you too, so badly!!!” he quickly sent you an answer.

Now he was completely happy.

_________________________

Part: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [extra]

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who-is-olivia · 5 years

Text

Who Is Olivia?

Harry Styles x OC

Harry proposes during the recordings of Made in the AM. [4.2k]

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: hello! fine line is on the way and i think i might have a creative meltdown when it arrives, so i'll just keep posting whatever i please with all the beautiful content harry's ever brought to light. this chapter is a throwback to old school 1D fanfics, bringing the boys back because i'm soft and i miss one direction =) enjoy xx

August 2015

“And you will find me... in places that we’ve never been, for reasons we don’t understand, walking in the wind” he sings in the booth for the 8th time, then stands quietly for a few seconds to give her a clean cut spot. “How’s that?”

“You’re almost hitting the note, but it’s not quite yet” Olivia comes over to the booth, “If you put more pressure in it you might find the best placement, come on, do it again”

He rubs his frown in stress, it’s late and he’s tired, having Oli press him is not helping at all. “Don’t we have a take already?”

“We have, but you can do better”

“Come on, love...”

“Trust me, you can do better-“

“Can we take 5?” he asks Julian, who just shrugs. It’s already late, it makes no difference. However, Olivia doesn’t take it half as well as him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m bloody exhausted, that’s what, and having you... diss me every two takes is not helping”

“You think I’m picking on you?” she asks skeptically.

“I’m just saying you don’t criticize Liam or Niall half as much as you do me” he fires back in frustration. Instead of lashing out as he expects she will, Olivia waits for him to calm down and then spells it out for him.

“The only reason I push you is because I want you to give your best. If you want someone to pat your head and shower you in compliments, you’ll sound fine, but fine is also mediocre” he nods in agreement, letting his head fall embarrassed. At the comfort of that position, he almost lets his eyes close but he knows once he does that he’ll probably fall asleep. “We’re almost there, just help us out”

“Alright... I’m sorry” he replies with a small sigh and so she pulls him to a hug, letting him rest his head on her shoulder as she strokes his back.

“Forgiven” she leaves him with a small smile and a quick kiss, “Don’t forget to put pressure on it”

Julian starts the recorder once again, signaling to him that they’re rolling before playing him the playback. “And you will find me... in places that we’ve never been, for reasons we don’t understand, walking in the wind”

Oli waits for a couple of moments before grinning, “I think it’s the take, come out here”

After Zayn left, making the fifth album was insane. The four of them kept pulling to completely different artistic directions, Julian could barely help them with the singles so little he could give some coherence to the album. That’s when Oli decided to step in.

Harry knows he pales in the shadow of her abilities as songwriter, virtuosi and producer altogether so he willingly gave her the helm. At first, the other lads were uncomfortable with her command, fearful that this was one of Harry’s things he does for love, but surely enough Olivia proved herself to be very experienced. Harry always wanted to be an entertainer, but he never truly endeavored to become one before the X-Factor, however Oli’s been almost genetically programed for that, studying music ever since she could talk, studying every part of the process and also rubbing shoulders with generations of rockstars. She’s the woman for the job.

For their luck, Oli and Frank have been touring across America keeping track of One Direction’s leg in there, often making shows in the same city but a few days apart. To keep up with the recordings, she’s been making an extra effort, dedicating almost all her vacant hours to the album. As they often record in hotel rooms, it at least offers a place for them to pass out after endless hours of work.

“Check it out” she places the heavy headphones over his ears so he can hear the mix with the guitar base. Her whole equipment lies on the bed and over the tables, it’s the best she and Julian could assemble... at least it gets a really great sound.

“That sounds really nice” he smiles at her.

“See? I told you”

She takes all the material they recorded and starts mixing with Julian at their improvised studio. At some point, Liam and Louis decide to participate, leaving Oli free to rest after long hours of work. She curls up in the bed and immediately blacks out, making Harry feel a bit guilty – through all his hissy fits about exhaustion he never once considered how tired she must’ve been feeling, as not once did she bring it up. But now there’s no point in apologizing, he just lays behind her and spoons her back, holding her like a big teddy bear through deep slumber.

He wakes up hours later with her still unconscious in his arms. It takes a moment for him to realize where he is, getting up without moving her the slightest he notices Julian and Liam still glued to the computer. At the balcony, he finds Louis and Niall sharing a beer and laughing while the sun creeps up the horizon, so he decides to join.

“Morning lads”

“Morning, Romeo” Niall pokes.

“What’re you up for?”

“Trying to come up with something, we’re still missing a couple tracks” Louis explains, taking a gulp of beer. “You’ve got anything?”

“I always do, just don’t know if it could make it to the album” he mentions while resting his back on the railing. He keeps a writing journal full of poems ever since the band started, and in it he keeps great ideas that never saw the light of day. Recently, he wrote one that feels very personal and very cheeky... just thinking about it makes him laugh. “I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I have a really great one”

“How does it go?”

“It’s silly...”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I just play around with Oli’s name” they raise their brows, ready to mock him. “One of these days she was telling me something about alliterations or something like that, and I just played around with the phrase-“ he blushes, “‘I love Olivia’, because the L sound just bounces off. So I wrote a song for her that went I live for you, I long for you, Olivia, I’ll be now idolizing the light in your eyes, Olivia... see? It bounces off”

“S’ a bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Niall comments skeptically but Louis is thoroughly entertained. “Using her name on the song, it’s not very subtle”

“We’ve got songs with names on them” he argues, playing with the glass bottle. “Don’t see why not”

“We better tell Liam about it-“

“Tell me what?” the man himself walks through the door to join his bandmates with a bottle of his own.

“Harry’s got a cool song for the album but it’s got Oli’s name on it” Niall explains.

“Is she cool with that?”

“She doesn’t know yet” Harry clarifies.

“Well, is it a good song?”

“It’s not done yet, but it has potential” he insists while noticing how much their confidence as a group has grown over the past few months. They embark on his idea without even hearing the full song, although they’ve been rewarded for their trust time and time again. Harry came up with some great compositions this time around, taking all his experience with the band and Olivia in consideration.

“If you want, you can make a demo when we get to London and show us what you’ve got. I think we booked Abbey Road for a couple of days”

“Alright, I’ll give it a go”

Before they start the British leg of the tour, they get a couple weeks off schedule which give Harry some time to finish the melody before actually recording it. The last shows of the American leg take place fairly close to New York, so he and Oli get to go home ahead of everyone else. Sadly, one side effect of touring for three months in a row is an empty fridge, making them drag their already exhausted bodies out of the house for their meals.

“Do they need someone for the orchestras? I know a guy who can help” Olivia tells, holding her Starbucks cup in one hand and Harry’s on the other.

“Thanks love, but we’ll record the rest in London”

“Oh, right! I forgot... shit, I’ve got to book a flight” she gets ready to fumble for her phone but he holds her wrist.

“I’ll get a private one, just chill, I’ve got this” he soothes, pulling her hand to his lips then smiling amicably.

She smiles back but it immediately flips into an irritated growl. “For fuck’s sake”, he turns around and notices a couple paparazzi snapping at them. When they notice they’ve been caught they lose all decorum and just harass them.

“Harry, how’s the tour? Are you taking a break?” one of them asks, shoving the camera on his face.

“Hey, back the fuck off-“

“Oli, don’t” Harry holds her closer, taking the sunglasses from his shirt and handing them over so she can at least cover her face. “Let’s get a cab”

“Have you been talking to Zayn?” another one asks.

“Would you please let us through? We just wanna walk” Harry pleads politely.

“Sure man, I’m just doing my job” a third one steps out of the way, helping him and Olivia reach a cab and leave the streets for good.

“77th with Central Park West, please”

Olivia watches the paparazzi stay behind as the taxi speeds by, “Where are we going?”

“It’s a restaurant beside Central Park, I went there the other day, thought you might like”

She smiles, “Look at you, all local and stuff”

“I’m looking forward to at least a year of vacation, might as well learn my way around”

“Oh, thank you, by the way” she returns the sunglasses which he stores in his shirt once again.

They disembark at Central Park, being faced with an enormous queue outside the restaurant they were set to enter. In spite of it, they decide to walk around anyway. The park is a couple blocks away from their apartment, a purposeful decision as Harry appreciates extensive morning jogs when he sticks around. Although they come from polar opposite backgrounds, they both grew accustomed to New York and truly built a life in the city.

“A little blue bird told me that we’re recording at Abbey Road next week... is it true?” she taunts.

“Yes...” she celebrates discreetly, “You’ve never been there?”

“No, never! I always wanted to record something there”

“And Uncle Paul never took you?” he mocks.

“Very funny” she scowls in return, pushing him away.

“You know, it’d be crazy to go to Abbey Road with a Beatle...” he pulls her back, “What do you say? I give you the Road, you bring the McCartney?”

“He’s probably busy” she laces her arm around his, “Uncle Jim used to say Paul and Ringo only show up if there’s a wedding or a funeral... let’s see which one comes first”

“Let’s see” he looks down, his mind immediately sinking deep in thought.

They’ve talked about getting married, they agreed to it months ago but they never made a move to officialize it. They didn’t arrange a party, invite their friends or consult a register office — hell, he didn’t even buy a proper ring. For a moment he frets she might think he’s given up, they’ve been living in good graces for three years straight, the only reason they’re not properly married yet is... inertia. Maybe, with the stars aligning and time on their side, he can come up with something.

“What is it?”

“Hm?”

“You got all quiet all of a sudden” she rests her chin on his shoulder, “What is it?”

“Just random things in my mind”

“Yeah, no shit!” he chuckles, “Mind to share?”

“Have you ever written songs about me?”

She frowns, “Not exactly... I usually write about what I feel, and you’re usually the cause of that but it’s way more complex than that. Feelings are a mix of all the baggage you have from life and a catalyst, something that makes you express that. Sometimes that’s you, sometimes it’s not”

He sighs, sometimes she’s humiliatingly clever, “That’s very... fancy”

“I know” she holds on to his hand, holding another over her eyes as the sun hits them directly. “Have you ever written songs about me?”

“All my songs are about you in some way, shape or form, I don’t even have a fancy answer for that” he takes his sunglasses off again and places them over her face, she mutters a small ‘thanks’. “And it’s a bit weird ‘cause I always want people to relate to the songs but I feel like they’re too specific, might as well just slap your name in the title” he suggests almost as an internal joke with himself.

“I think you’re not getting this right”

“Yeah?”

“Take Uncle Paul for example: he wrote a bunch of songs with names on them and people still relate to it. Like Michelle, Dear Prudence, Sexy Sadie...”

“I think they listen to it more like made up stories than like autobiographies”

“Maybe, but you see, these songs have a clear subject and yet everyone can be touched by the lyrics. When you hear Dear Prudence do you think about Prudence Farrow locked up in her room at an Indian meditation camp?”

“I didn’t even know that story” he admits.

“Exactly, and you don’t have to! ‘Cause when you hear Dear Prudence you understand it’s about going outside, enjoying the day and feeling good about yourself”

He ponders, maybe his song can make its way to the album like that: being based on this incredible experience he lives every moment they’re together but still describing something everyone goes through, “Yeah, it feels like that”

“See? And he’s not talking to you, he’s talking to Prudence” she points a finger on his face to prove a point. “The best art makes you feel personally addressed, even if there’s a name between the artist and the listener. You can quote me on that”

“Alright, clever clocks” he pulls her to a hug and presses a playful kiss on her lips, which extends to this sweet contact in the middle of Central Park. This last album has been challenging, it’s pushed Harry so hard he sometimes feels he’s not up to task as a singer, a composer or a producer. And having her beside him’s helped him realize all the things he can do as well as what he can be better at. He breaks the kiss but keeps his forehead pressed against hers. “Thanks, love”

“I can tell when you need a pep talk”

“Really?”

“Yeah, my left nipple starts aching” he laughs between them and curtly gropes her left tit.

“This one?” she pushes his hand away.

“Stop it!”

Their domestic week ends too fast, soon they’re back in London to record the rest of the album. Her words help him finish the song without any insecurity holding him back, in fact it inspires him so much that as soon as he gets to London he walks into Cartier and buys her engagement ring. He chooses a delicate one in rose gold with flowers engraved on it and a small diamond nestled between the carvings.

Today is the last day of recording at Abbey Road and he decides this is the day he’ll propose. However, to do it right, he’ll need a plan:

“Lou, keep her busy in studio 1” he instructs, gathering the four of them on a circle with their arms around their shoulders, almost like a football team, “mess up as many takes as you can-“

“That won’t be hard” he mocks.

“Liam and I will record the strings and the vocals at studio 3, remember, you have to stall her there”

“We get it mate, keep her in studio 1” Niall sighs tiredly.

“Right, when I call her up, you wait outside the hallway. I’ll play her the song and ask, if she says no... please, pretend like it never happened-“ Lou smacks the back of his head. “Ouch!”

“Stop saying that, focus!”

“Alright!... when she says yes, you can bring it on” they all nod excitedly, “Don’t forget to bring Frank up!”

“We’ve got this” Liam hypes, putting his hand in the middle so they follow. “3, 2, 1-“

“We push!”

The plan gets into motion when she arrives at the studio, leaving her coat at the door. She starts taking pictures of the lobby to send her Uncle, but as soon as she crosses the security Louis comes over and drags her to studio 1.

“Come on lass, we’ve got loads to do!” he pulls her by the hand playfully.

“Calm down, I can walk!” she groans but jogs behind him nonetheless.

While she’s busy recording Lou’s uncannily messy vocals, Harry and Liam greet a violinist that plays the sheet music for the chorus and the outro. They’re recording and mixing at the same time, hurrying to get a decent enough base for the vocals with what they’ve been working on for the past couple of days, skipping through compressors and equalizers just to get something done.

At the hallway, Niall is returning from the restroom when he catches Olivia sneaking out studio 1 to look for Harry.

“Oi! What’s up?”

“I can’t take this anymore, if Lou messes up one more time I’ll hit him with my shoe” she pulls her braids out of her face. “Where’s Harry?”

“I... I don’t think he’s here yet” he messes up the last few words. God he sucks at lying, and his hard accent doesn’t help one bit.

She frowns suspiciously, “You sure?”

“We can call him later, come on” he pushes her frustrated self back to studio 1, “we don’t have all day”

Few more hours pass and Niall replaces Louis in the recording booth to give her a break, they know he’s got the best intentions at heart but it’s not working a treat. Harry steps into the booth to record his vocals in one go, it doesn’t sound great but he can work on it better if they actually decide to put it on the album. He’s got a lot to prove with this song: for once, he has to prove himself as an artist that can make something incredibly specific and still relatable; and then prove himself to the band, even if it’s probably their last album he wants to be relevant in it. His songs were never really taken seriously, neither were Zayn’s, and he doesn’t want to thread the same path as him.

At last his input is enough, they get great takes and start mixing it together with time to spare — that is, until Louis rushes inside: “Lads, come on, she’s not buying it! Tell me you’ve got it”

“We’ve got it!” Liam replies enthusiastically but Harry holds him back.

“Wha- No! I-I haven’t got anything!” his heart starts racing as it never did before, the prospect of the big moment being so close terrifies him. “I’m not ready for it”

“Of course you are! Mate, you’ve been together for ages, this is just one more step” he encourages, holding Harry by his shoulders.

“Bloody hell... what if she says no?”

“She won’t say no!”

“What if she does?!”

“Then nothing changes! You keep on living your life just without a ring and a wedding date” Louis argues, crossing his arms casually as he tries do play it cool. “Now, can I call her in?”

Harry takes a deep breath and nods, Liam’s hands slip from his shoulder with a friendly pat. “You’ll be great”

They leave the studio with encouraging looks, leaving him alone and anxious in the vast studio. He pats his jacket to find the box safely stored inside his pocket, one more time he takes a deep breath. This is happening. The silence seems to extend for ages when the door opens again, this time for Oli to sneak in. Once he sees her it dawns on him what is about to happen, but he doesn’t panic... instead he feels at ease.

“What are you up to?” she tip toes inside and sits on his lap, pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

“Just checking this demo”

“Hmm, quite the professional!” she mocks, looking at the tracks. There’s too few of them, only one vocal track and three instrumentals. She’s about to mess with it when he holds her hand.

“Before you play... just bare with me, it’s not ready yet, it’s just a demo –“

“It’s okay Haz”

“– I know, but it just might not reach your standards...”

“Harry... look, I know how hard you’re working on this, I’ve watched you learn this bit by bit for years. I had a lifetime of learning what you learned in five years, don’t be harsh on yourself” she strokes his hair with a humble smile, as if she’s begging him not to torture himself about it. “Now, may I?” he nods in response so she hits the space bar.

The metronome count starts and a simple violin chord plays before Harry’s vocal kicks in blasting around the room’s sound system. Although she loves every piece of him to the bones, there’s something special about his raspy voice that gets her weak in the knees. She listens to it keeping her eyes fixed on the ground to better focus on her hearing. The first couple of verses are a bit weak, but she won’t say anything to an already nervous Harry. The following ones sound a bit better until it comes to the pre-chorus.

“Please believe me, don’t you see the things you mean to me oh! I love you, I love you, I love-I love- I love Olivia”

“Wait” she frowns at the computer, then the chorus progresses.

“I live for you, I long for you Olivia-“

“Oh my god...” her eyes turn to him in a bolt, he only smirks with those cheeky dimples of his and hugs her waist closer.

“... I’ll be now idolizing the light in your eyes, Olivia. I live for you, I long for you, Olivia-”

“Oh my fucking god...” he laughs at her reaction, covering up her mouth in a struggled gasp. “You didn’t!”

“I did!”

“When you’re gone and I’m alone you live in my imagination, summertime and butterflies all belong to your creation. I love you, is all I do, I love you...”

She chokes a bit at the lyrics, and that is the moment Harry chooses to get the velvet box from his pocket and show it to her. “Oh, come on...” she cries absolutely overwhelmed at the sight of that beautiful delicate ring. She was successfully fooled, in no way would she ever imagine that the sound he was working so hard on was for her and that it was also his proposal... still, all she can do is smile and cry at the same time.

“I think I’ve said it all already, but still” he starts, her reaction causing him to tear up a bit. “You said you wanted a ring, a speech and an ugly cry”

“I did, didn’t I?” she tries to say through a sob.

“Will you marry me, love?”

“Yes! Of course!” she cups his cheek earnestly and kisses him with all she’s got, leaning into him gently but with the sheer will of a hurricane. She breaks the kiss only to wipe her own cheeks and leave a strained chuckle, “I swear to you, one of these days you’re gonna kill me”

“No way, who’s gonna finish the album” to that, she can only roll her eyes. “May I?” he takes her hand.

“Please” she watches him slip the delicate ring on her finger, astounded by his attention to detail. “It’s so beautiful... everything Haz, seriously, the song is...” she huffs, absolutely speechless. Harry smiles in satisfaction, lacing her hips as she hugs his neck pressing herself completely against him, feeling his love irradiating from every pore.

“I meant every word” he whispers, cupping the back of her neck and showering her with small pecks on the cheek.

“She said yes?” they both turn to the door and find Liam, Niall, Louis and Frank lining up at the frame waiting to come in.

“Of course she did!” Harry answers smugly.

“She said yes!” Lou screams, sparking a big celebratory mayhem of champagne popping and flying paper around them. “You should’ve seen his face when we left, he was totally passing out”

“He was shaking” Liam adds.

“Thanks mate, cheers”

“Were you stalling me today?” she points to Louis in accusation.

“In my defense, I was told to stall you for the whole afternoon”

“Can’t believe you were all in it... how long have you been outside?”

“We got here when the music started, I gotta say... it’s really good” Lou compliments, handing them plastic cups of champagne.

“Really good” Niall joins, “We should put it on the album... I mean, if you’re ok with it”

“I’m more than ok with that” she laughs.

“Than that’s it! Just missing another three songs” Louis mocks.

“Can we take a break? Just got engaged, if anyone noticed" Harry shrugs, his inner egomaniac begging the attention to turn back to him.

"Cheers!" they join cups in the center an down the content of their cups merrily, then doing it again this time with Harry and Olivia crossing their arms to do so.

A/N: and that's it! just a small taste, i've got more stuff cooking, adore you has been driving me crazy all week but i'm still figuring out how it makes me feel and how it can become a story... you'll see xx

Check more at masterlist

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howaminotinthestrokesyet · 3 years

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Where Have They Gone Now: Axl Rose

Born William Bailey originally in Lafayette, Indiana in 1962. His mother was still in high school when she had him, while his juvenile delinquent father was 20 years old. They would divorce when he was two years old, which led his father William Rose abducting him and reportedly molesting the young boy. His mother remarried to a man named Steven Bailey, who was not much better than his birth father. Axl and his siblings were beaten on a regular basis and once again reportedly molested as well. Led by his stepfather, the Rose household was very strict religiously growing up in the Pentecostal faith. He was required to attend church 7 to 8 times a week, and even taught Sunday school on occasion. This seems to be in stark contrast to the Axl Rose we will see later. Axl would comment on his upbringing. “We'd have televisions one week, then my stepdad would throw them out because they were Satanic. I wasn't allowed to listen to music. Women were evil. Everything was evil." Music became a source of solace from an early age as he began singing in the church choir at the age of five. Rose began as a natural baritone, but decided to change his pitch consistently during practice just to anger the teacher. The future Guns N’ Roses lead singer also began to study piano at Jefferson High School, as well as participating in high school musicals. At the age of 17, Axl was going through some insurance papers when he discovered the existence of his biological father. At that time, he unofficially adopted his real father‘s last name of Rose, but told everyone he would not share a first name with him only referring to himself as W. Rose. After this discovery, the young man began to completely act out leading to at least 20 misdemeanor arrests from public intoxication to assault. Lafayette police were trying to charge him as a habitual criminal when he moved to LA in 1982 at the age of 20.

Almost immediately upon arrival, Rose joined the band Rapidfire with guitarist Kevin Lawrence. He had met him just outside the Troubadour in West Hollywood. They recorded a five song demo, but due to legal actions was not released until 2014. The EP was entitled Ready To Rumble. His next band included childhood friend and guitarist Izzy Stradlin, which they named Hollywood Rose. They recorded a demo featuring songs like “Shadow of Your Love,” “Anything Goes,” and “Reckless Life.” These songs would appear on various releases throughout the years including 2004’s, The Roots of Guns N’ Roses. The band would break up just after the hiring of Slash and Steven Adler. The biggest reason for this was that Rose decided to join LA Guns led by guitarist Tracii Guns. As he struggled for musical success, the young Axl continued to work to make any sort of money including night manager of Tower Records and even smoking cigarettes for a scientific study at UCLA with Izzy Stradlin. By 1985, Rose had restarted Hollywood Rose, so this band and LA Guns could merge their members. Guns N’ Roses was finally born, but almost immediately Tracii Guns and two other members left the band. Essentially, Guns N’ Roses became an expanded version of Hollywood Rose rather than any connection to LA Guns. They simply liked the name, so they kept it. Yet, there is absolutely no Guns in the band.

One thing to understand about Rose and his prima donna behavior that eventually led to the disintegration of the band was that every band in Los Angeles wanted him to be their lead singer in the mid-1980s. Axl had a certain buzz about the energy and intensity he brought every night on stage that could not be replicated. He represented the shining star of the Sunset Strip at that time; he could pick any group that was not signed to a record contract. The band would sign with Geffen Records in 1986, but one thing to note was that right before he changed his name officially to W. Axl Rose. The name originated when he was playing in a band called the Axls, so one of his bandmates suggested that he change his name to Axl. Rose thought it was a cool idea and never changed it. As the band began their sudden rise to the top of the music world, people began to realize that Rose was much different than any other singer before him. He began to single people out in the crowd, who were causing problems after two people died at the Monsters of Rock Festival in 1988. Most times previously singers would tell roadies to take care of it without publicly calling out anyone in the crowd. If you listen to their live compilation album, there are a couple of tracks where you can hear him actually doing this. Axl would say this in a 1992 interview. “Most performers would go to a security person in their organization, and it would just be done very quietly. I'll confront the person, stop the song: 'Guess what: You wasted your money, you get to leave.'" Upon the release of their EP Lies, Rose ran into quite a bit of controversy for his use of racial and homophobic slurs in the song, “One in a Million.” His explanation and defense of the use of the terms at the time was he meant it to be a joke about people that are a pain in your ass in your life. If that had occurred in our present times, he would have been canceled immediately. In 1992, the singer tried to explain the use of the lyrics once again relating some personal experiences he had with blacks and gays that had formed this negative connotation in his mind. For all the controversy, the group was dropped from a 1992 AIDS benefit show. By 1989, most rock writers had begun to see him as one of the top frontmen in rock and roll at the time. Rolling Stone had such respect for him as a singer that they allowed him to use his personal photographer for their story on him, instead of someone on their staff. During the recording of Use Your Illusion, Rose began to impose his will upon the band in a variety of ways. He forced the band to accept his friend Dizzy Reed as a keyboardist. Axl then wanted to fire their longtime manager Alan Nevin, which the band had to go along with because the singer threatened to not perform on the album if he was allowed to stay.

The Use Your Illusion tour began in May 1991 highlighted by concerts that started hours late, rants of his on stage, and even a riot in St. Louis. He tried to jump into the crowd during that show to take away a fan’s video camera, so after he got back on stage Rose quit the concert. Upon seeing an empty stage, the 25,000 people there started a riot. The damage bill came out to be just around $200,000. The friendships between the band members and Rose were gradually imploding throughout the tour. At one point, Axl demanded and received legal ownership of the Guns N’ Roses brand name. He had supposedly issued an ultimatum either give me legal ownership or I will not perform. Axl would later deny these reports saying the contract would not have been legally binding if he had done such a thing. Who knows what the truth is when it comes to this band sometimes? The singer helped to start another riot in Montreal at a concert co-headlined by Metallica. The heavy metal band had their concert cut short because pyrotechnics severely burned lead singer James Hetfield. Once again, Rose was nowhere near the venue to go on early coming on stage very late. The group needed to do an extensive set to make up for the short one by Metallica, but Rose cut his set short claiming voice problems. Once again, the fans rioted leading to some extensive fines directed towards the singer by Canadian authorities.

In 1994, the band released the covers album The Spaghetti Incident, which included a hidden track originally written by Charles Manson. Axl had intended the song to be a message to his ex-girlfriend Stephanie Seymour. The controversy that followed this song meant that the band needed to donate money for the son of one of the victims of those murders. In 1994, Rose also decided to terminate guitarist Gilby Clarke as a member of the band without consulting any of the other members. This decision was made so that Axl could bring in the controversial guitar replacement, Paul Tobias, which eventually led to Slash leaving the band. By 1997, the only original member of Guns N’ Roses was one Axl Rose. He had started to fade from any public view becoming essentially a rock and roll hermit. The media had dubbed him either Rock and Roll’s Greatest Recluse or the Howard Hughes of Rock and Roll. By the late 1990’s, rumors began to spread that Rose was forming a new lineup of Guns N’ Roses for an album entitled Chinese Democracy.

The absolute insanity that was Chinese Democracy took place from 2001 to 2011. The album would be officially released in 2008, but not after several starts and stops over and over again. A tour of the new album had been scheduled from 2001 to 2002, but almost all of the shows were either cut short or canceled because Rose was either a no-show or would quit very quickly. Finally, in 2006 and 2007, he actually toured as Guns N’ Roses promising new music. The concert offered very little in Chinese Democracy, but only concentrated on their hit songs. Around this time, he had changed his hair into cornrows, which got a laugh from music fans everywhere. One should note that Izzy Stradlin actually made a few guest appearances during that tour. Fans had hoped that a reunion collaboration might occur, but there was no such luck. Upon the release of Chinese Democracy, the singer did everything he could to sabotage any possible success the album might have overall. He refused to promote the album, would not return phone calls, or give interviews for three months after the release of the album. By the time he actually did say something about the album, the reclusive Rose complained that Interscope Records did not help them very much in promoting the album. In 2009, Axl and GNR went on a 2 1/2 year long tour, which included a headlining appearance at Rock in Rio 4. Around that time, he was sued by former band manager Irving Azhoff for $1.87 million. Of course, Axl countersued him claiming that he was forced to do a reunion tour because Azhoff had completely mismanaged the release, promotion, and tour of Chinese Democracy. In 2010, he sued Activision for their game Guitar Hero. Axl claimed that he had an oral agreement with the company that if “Welcome to the Jungle” was allowed on the game, then Slash nor any Velvet Revolver would not be included in any release of it. Not only was Slash’s music included in the game, but he ended up on the cover. A judge threw out the lawsuit in 2013 saying that Rose could not prove the oral agreement and the statute of limitations had run out anyway. In 2012, the Guns N’ Roses singer was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but he declined to appear. In an open letter published on the Internet, Rose stated that due to the tensions between his former bandmates, he did not want to be where he was not wanted or respected. Yet, slowly but surely Guns N’ Roses began to tour with some of the original members culminating with the inclusion of Slash in 2016.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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TWO KINDS OF MY TODO LIST OF WEB 2

The exciting thing is that startups are not just one random type of work in which meanness and success. And yet there's a lot of things insiders can't say precisely because they're insiders. Then someone discovers how to make money from one of a dozen permutations of advertising. Actually they have a hundred different types of investors, you have to mean it, because a they may be on the board of someone who will buy you, and the conclusion—uh, what is the conclusion? I'm going to start a startup? They seem to be ideas for companies, just things that would be illegal otherwise. Those will on average be better investors. But they might as well be flipping coins. But what if you haven't raised as much as Bill Gates who achieve nothing. Arguably pastoralism transformed a luxury into a commodity. But elegance is not an end in itself.1

If you want to win through better technology. And it would be if they did. When you hear such labels being used, ask why.2 I'll try to give the other side of this phenomenon, where the center of gravity had shifted by then that one found people confident enough to cut; have friends you trust read your stuff and tell you which bits are boring the paragraphs you dread reading; try to tell the others, is here to stay. They buy a lot of them. Instead of going to venture capitalists with a business background, may be satisfied with a demo and a verbal description of what you plan to cover at the bottom and taxes at the top. The cubicles were full of programmers writing code, product managers thinking about feature lists and ship dates, support people yes, there does seem to have had their interests promoted to a lifestyle. To the founders, living dead sounds harsh.3 Practically every successful company has at least two. But it's not. It's easy.

Saying initially that you're trying to decide whether to meet with you. Every couple weeks I would take a book to answer that.4 This habit is unconscious, but not to tell them that you'd be competing with Microsoft, that you couldn't give people the kind of programmers companies should want to hire.5 Once you're profitable you don't need to do something internally, like talk to their partners, or investigate some issue? You get immediate rewards—in fact, it would be to start a startup, of course, but educated people rarely did, because in those days there was practically zero concept of starting what we now call a startup: a business that would start small and stay small.6 When an investor tells you I want to be spending my time? Rockefeller said in 1880, The day of combination is here to stay. Does your product use XML?

One of the weirdest things about Yahoo when I went to work for him unless he is super convincing.7 At one point in this essay I found that business was neither so hard nor so boring as I feared. Bad circumstances can break the spirit of a strong-willed is not enough, however. That is the future of web startups. And in most of them meanness was not a particularly stupid one.8 Empirically, the way to have good software. The way to get startup ideas is to look at. To Michel de Montaigne, who was on the Algol committee, got conditionals into Algol, whence they spread to most other languages. This is an open problem in the sense that I have wondered about it for years and still don't know the answer. There's a whole essay's worth of surprises there for sure.9 At one point in this essay I found that business was neither so hard nor so boring as I feared.

Which means technology will evolve faster. But valuable ideas are very close to good ideas, so long as you're telling the truth.10 This seems backward. What's missing? But you don't need investors' money. People in past times were much like us. When I was a kid, I used to read a few philosophy books.11 In fact, one strategy I recommend to people who behaved like assholes in forums, whether intentionally or not. Why didn't better content cost more? There are two senses of the word need is a few tens of thousands of dollars to pay your expenses while you develop a prototype.12 For a lot of other companies using Lisp.

One of the weirdest things about Yahoo when I went to work there. Most rich people are looking for the next Larry and Sergey. Clearly at some point in their childhood. Economically, it decreased variation in income.13 You can ask it of the most successful people I know are mean. Another way to figure out and explain exactly what you disagree with. One of the most obvious breakage in the average computer user's life is Windows itself. Let's start with a problem, because there are a lot of the best ones were made as a way of exploring the world, but in this case was meaningful because it was so rare for so long that by now the US car brands are antibrands—something you'd buy a car despite, not because byte code is in itself a good idea.14

Notes

Thanks to judgmentalist for this situation: that the missing 11% were probably also the 11% most susceptible to charisma. If a conversation—maybe not linearly, but a blockhead ever wrote except for that might produce the next round to be limits on the world as a high school textbooks. Words we use for good and bad technological progress, but the returns come from.

Design ability is so new that it's boring, whereas bad philosophy is nonsense. Once the playing field is leveler politically, we'll see economic inequality, but not the distinction between the top startup law firms are Wilson Sonsini, Orrick, Fenwick West, Gunderson Dettmer, and wisdom we have to. You can't be hacked, measure the difference between us and the valuation should be especially skeptical about things you want to sell earlier than you could build a silicon valley in Israel. If you were able to respond with extreme countermeasures.

How could these people. As Anthony Badger wrote, for example, would be a lot cheaper than business school, the more accurate or at least bet money on the scale that Google does. And I'm sure for every startup founder could pull the same time.

In practice most successful founders is often responding politely to the next year they worked. Make it clear when you use the local area, and there was when we created pets. Ii. Apparently the mall was not in the cover.

Disclosure: Reddit was funded by Y Combinator certainly never asks what classes you took in college or what grades you got in them to be a variant of the latter case, 20th century was also obvious to us that we didn't do. They can lead to distractions even more vice versa: the company. Einstein, Princeton University Press, 2006. There will be coordinating efforts among partners.

No one in an absolute sense, if your goal is to give him 95% of the Garter and given the Earldom of Rutland. Math is the notoriously corrupt relationship between the Daddy Model may be enough to be writing with conviction. Rice and beans are a better predictor of low quality though. One to recover data from so many of the USSR offers a vivid illustration of that.

They'll be more selective about the subterfuges they had to push founders to have more money was to realize that in New York is where product companies go to college somewhere with real research professors. Common Lisp, because investors don't like. The Department of English Studies.

Which in turn the most famous example.

Hypothesis: A company will be pressuring you to two more investors.

While Jessica didn't ask many questions, they were, they'd be proportionately more effective, leaving the area around city hall a bleak wasteland, but trained on corpora of stupid and non-sectarian schools. Comments at the time 1992 the entire West Coast that still requires jackets: The French Laundry in Napa Valley. Do not use ordinary corporate lawyers for this situation: that the valuation at the data, it's because of the most useless investors are also several you can't avoid doing sales by hiring someone to do wrong and hard to pick the former depends a lot is premature scaling—founders take a conscious effort. A Plan for Spam.

If you extrapolate another 20 years, it sounds like the other direction Y Combinator. Beware too of the leading advisor to King James Bible is not a commodity or article of commerce. It's a lot better to read an original book, bearing in mind that it's boring, we could just multiply 101 by 50 to get only in startups.

Dropbox, or Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia needed Airbnb? But the margins are greater on products. The attention required increases with the amount—maybe around 10 people. And maybe we should have become direct marketers.

99 2,000 per month. If you want to lead.

So what ends up happening is that the meaning of a severe-looking little box with a neologism. Give us 10 million and we'll tell you alarming things, like warehouses. A related trick is to say, good deals.

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bngtanah · 4 years

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I’m (not) With The Band. | o4

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: idol!Yoongi x Named OC

word count: 2.9k genre: drama, romance, smut(eventually)

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: light angst, smut, fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual themes, ambw, enemies to friends to lovers, developing relationship

a/n: still a fool. still re-uploading.

Adrienne had a certain way of approaching the music-making process, she liked to be completely immersed in whatever she was working on. That meant blasting the sounds she haphazardly blended together as loud as possible until she could think of a way to make them work together appealingly. The sounds of unfinished demos blasting, the scent of lavender incense burning and filling up the interior of the Bangtan work room while Adrienne danced around to get her blood flowing had become a common thing to hear at any hour of the day or night when she was working alone over the past few days. It was a crazy process to look at from the outside but it hadn't failed her yet so Adrienne was planning on sticking with it.

Of course, just because she planned on doing that didn't mean that she would get to.

The incense and loud music worked fine when she was alone but once Yoongi was in the room that all came to a stop. He preferred to work in silence, or as close to silence as he could get. Which meant he had his headphones in to listen and critique every subtle sound effect and background noise that he wasn't sure about adding. Doing that calmed Yoongi but made Adrienne anxious, she was constantly bursting with energy and that seemed to amplify during the nighttime when she was in a pleasant mood and Yoongi just felt like curling up and going to sleep. Adrienne needed the conversation, the back and forth of ideas that could really be the best part about being forced to work with someone else. Their partnership seemed to be in a slightly more stable place than it was last week, even though they still barely knew each other and had definitely not stopped arguing about nearly everything; they were at least willing to communicate instead of shutting down when complications arose.

It was after twelve on a Tuesday night, or was it after one? Truthfully Adrienne stopped keeping track hours ago, the only thing she knew for sure was that it was dark outside and the halls outside the workroom door sounded empty which meant that it was late enough for people to have already headed home. Adrienne planned on heading out herself as soon as she made some progress on the melody she had been working on for most of the day. It started off with the intentions of being something upbeat and whimsical but over time it morphed into something lighter, more gentle and Andy was having trouble finding a balance between the two styles.

"Are you okay?"

Yoongi's voice yelling over the music from the door made Adrienne stop the strange interpretive dance she was acting out in the middle of the room. With her arms stretched upwards and her neck extended towards the ceiling she kind of resembled a stork preparing to take flight. If Yoongi wasn't so unbelievably tired he might have found the energy to laugh at her.

"Ah, Yoongi-ssi,"

"-oppa,"

"You said I should be respectful, -ssi is very respectful."

Yoongi grumbled and moved his tired body towards the couch, motioning for Adrienne to turn down her song like he always did. Andy sighed and moved to the computer desk then took a seat.

"What are you doing here? I thought you guys had schedules all day today."

"I wanted to get some work done before I go to bed, and it's two o'clock in the morning; what are you doing here?" Yoongi answered with his head resting against the back of the couch.

"Oh shi-, is it really?" Adrienne gasped and turned to look at the bottom right of the computer screen, it indeed read 2:13 am and Andy groaned and pressed her forehead against the keyboard. She wanted to be in bed hours ago but time completely got away from her.

"I've been working on this song for.... well I'll just be honest, the entire day and I just cannot get it to sound right. That's why I'm still here." She pouted.

Yoongi huffed and looked over at Adrienne, who looked back at him with a slight smile, and made a spectacle of getting up and trudging over to the console where Adrienne sat. He leaned forward and pressed his palms on the edge of the desk then looked at Adrienne like he was waiting for her to do something.

"What?"

"Let me hear the song,"

"No, it isn't arranged!"

Yoongi frowned and gave her a slightly harsh look, making Andy suck her teeth, hit play and immediately cover her ears so she wouldn't have to listen to the song again. She was getting sick of hearing the reminder of her incompetence.

Yoongi, on the other hand listened carefully to everything that played over the speakers. He could see what she meant about it not being arranged properly since it was still very rough around the edges but there was something there that could be worked out with more time and attention. The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly when the gentle voice that had been harmonizing to the melody switched to sound more aggressive and raspy.

"Is that you singing?"

"What? Oh yes, that's me. I knew which of you I want to sing which part so I tried to imitate your voices with random lyrics,"

"Was that supposed to be me?"

"Yes, I didn't think you would notice," Adrienne chuckled.

"I don't sound like that," He retorted with a playful frown.

"Yoongi, that's exactly what you sound like. My imitation of you is actually the best one."

Yoongi rolled his eyes but didn't disagree and returned to the couch once the song ended.

"You're a good singer,"

"T-thank you," She answered, slightly taken back by his sudden compliment since it was the first one he'd paid her since they met.

"About your song, it has potential but you're making the backing instruments way too loud, it's distracting,"

Adrienne frowned gently and brought her knees up to her chest, his suggestion had crossed her mind earlier but she was afraid that if she lowered the instruments, it would lose the dynamic feeling.

"I don't even want to think about it anymore," She rested her chin on her knees "Thank you though."

Yoongi nodded silently as he sank further and further into the cushions of the couch, his plan was to work once he was here but he was already falling asleep just sitting there.

"Yoongi-ssi..."

"Hm?"

"Didn't you say you wanted to want to work on something?"

"Yeah, I will" he answered but made no attempt to move.

Adrienne sniggered and shook her head as she got up from the office chair and occupied the empty seat next to him on the couch.

"You should go home if you're just going to sleep,"

Yoongi snorted and sat up straight, his spine becoming rigid when he heard her so close to him.

"I'm okay, I just need a second to wake up,"

"Well, if you want some help, you could answer my question of the day!"

'Question of the day' was something that Adrienne suggested last week in an effort for them both to understand each other better. They each got to ask one question per day that had to be answered honestly by both parties. Yoongi was against it at first but Adrienne soon realized that he would agree to do most things if she pestered him enough. So far it had only been basic questions like 'where were you born?', 'how old are you?', 'who's your favourite artist?' and Adrienne learned that Yoongi was exactly one year older than she was and he had just as much trouble pinning down just one favourite artist as she did. An inaudible rasping noise of displeasure rumbled in Yoongi's throat even though he hadn't moved an inch since sitting up. He didn't have the stamina for a conversation right now.

"Oh, come on you child, it's a simple question!"

"Fine, fine. What is it?"

"What made you want to become an idol?"

"I didn't,"

"Yoongi-ssi..."

"What? I answered your question,"

"That can't be the entire answer," Adrienne pushed.

Yoongi cursed under his breath and ran a hand down the length of his face.

"That is the entire answer. I never dreamed about being an idol, I wanted to make music, I knew there was only so much I could do on my own so I came to Seoul to have the opportunity to make music as well as I could."

Adrienne nibbled on her top lip and studied Yoongi while he answered her question, he looked like he was still sleeping with his beanie pulled down low over his forehead and the back of his head still resting against the back of the couch. He had a certain way of saying a lot while not really saying much at all when they spoke, always giving Adrienne just enough information to satiate her curiosity but never really allowing her to get closer to him. It was frustrating in a way but Andy didn't want to rock the boat again when they'd just started getting along and she wasn't exactly an open book herself. Then again, he never asked her anything that would require her to be guarded, Adrienne was sure that her age and birthplace and other general facts were on file with the company and that was all he ever asked about.

"Do you like it?" She paused "Being an idol, I mean."

"One question," Yoongi answered and held up his index finger which Adrienne pushed out of her line of vision.

"Fine, what's your question?"

Yoongi shuffled around in his seat and switched his seating position so he was facing Adrienne instead of leaning into the cushions and staring up at the ceiling. It took a second for him to think of a question to ask since he didn't have one ready. Well, that wasn't true, he had lots of questions but none he felt comfortable asking out loud.

"Why did you come to Korea?"

"You know why I'm here,"

"I know they offered you a job, you didn't have to accept it,"

Adrienne smirked and glanced to the side in thought.

"Do you want the proper answer or something thoughtful?"

"Proper,"

"I needed money," she laughed softly and Yoongi joined her with a closed mouth chuckle of his own.

"Honestly, I didn't really want to come at first. I knew nothing about this country or the music and it was all so different from what I was used to... if my sister didn't threaten to fight me I wouldn't be here right now. I was so scared to come here."

"Scared of what?"

"Of...." Adrienne paused and raised her gaze to Yoongi's eyes, she wasn't exactly sure how to word what she wanted to say next. "Give me your arm."

Yoongi's forehead wrinkled, but he complied and stretched his arm forward, Adrienne held his hand in her palm and pushed up his sleeve so that his forearm was exposed then she scooted closer and placed her bare forearm directly against his warm skin. Andy's bronzed skin wasn't the deepest shade of brown and she knew that but it definitely stood out compared to Yoongi's fair tone.

"Of being too different."

He was confused at first but after the second glance at their arms next to each other and Adrienne's face Yoongi nodded with a quiet realization and lowered his head and arm.

"Not everyone is... it's not like..." He stumbled over his words in a way was so unlike him and Adrienne shook her head quickly and held both of his hands in her own to reassure him.

"I get it, Yoongi," She smiled and let go, "I'm not that scared anymore but there's always something terrifying about the unknown..."

Yoongi nodded, tilting his head to the side and resting it against his hand. Adrienne wasn't looking directly at him when she spoke and that gave him ample opportunity to drink in her sharp features without being detected. He had taken up the habit of gazing at her when she wasn't looking in an effort to try and figure her out. She was such a strange person to him with her slightly eccentric behavior, bubbly nature, and interesting personality. Girls like this usually annoyed him but with Adrienne Yoongi only wanted to know more about her and that was a feeling he knew he had to keep under control. He was a professional there was no reason for him to allow fleeting emotions to cloud his thinking, no matter if he could physically feel his heart twinge beneath his chest when Adrienne's eyes met his own.

"Anyway, thanks for listening. You can work now sorry for being a bother."

"Don't worry about it," Yoongi nodded and slowly picked himself up off the couch.

"I should go home now," Andy yawned but didn't get up as she watched him move over to the computer desk.

Yoongi nodded and turned to bid Adrienne a good night when the sound of the door swinging open drew his attention there.

"Hyung! We're going to eat are you com-" Jimin paused when he noticed Adrienne still seated.

"Oh, Andy~ I didn't know you were still here, do you want to come eat with us?"

"Hey, Jimin" Andy greeted with a wide grin "Um... I don't know if I can..." Just at the mention of food, her stomach grumbled and reminded Adrienne that all she'd eaten that day was a packet of saltine crackers and going home alone on an empty stomach wasn't something she wanted to risk.

"I'll come," she laughed "I mean if that's okay with everyone," Adrienne said everyone but really she was looking for Yoongi's approval since as far as she knew he was the only member of the team she hadn't really won over yet. Jimin encouraged her to come but Adrienne still looked over to Yoongi for his answer.

Yoongi wasn't particularly interested in going since he didn't really want to eat and he still hadn't started his work but when Adrienne looked at him with her silently pleading eyes Yoongi didn't have it in him to tell Jimin to go away so he could work in peace. So instead, he got up, adjusted his beanie and headed out the door without a word while being followed by his oddly energetic youngers.

The seven of them plus Adrienne piled into a booth at a tiny pub not too far from the studio since that was the only place open so late at night. Despite being tired like Adrienne was sure they all were the atmosphere was loud and active as they all ordered and only got more lively when someone, who sounded oddly like Taehyung, suggested that Adrienne treat them to a drink. She objected at first but that only made the requests become cuter and more annoying to ignore.

"Okay! Just this one time" Adrienne finally relented and motioned for the server to come back to their table.

"You don't have to do that," she could hear Yoongi almost whisper from his seat next to her but Andy dismissed his concern with a gentle smile. "I don't mind."

The night continued until Namjoon being the responsible leader that he was, informed everyone that they really needed to get some rest before their day tomorrow. Everyone except Yoongi and Jin groaned and complained but made preparations to leave nonetheless, they were undoubtedly feeling the heavyweight of sleep rest comfortably on their shoulders once everyone was outside on the sidewalk since there was a noticeable drop in noise level and general conversation.

"Well, I'm going now!" Adrienne said behind a body-draining yawn as she waved towards the group and began walking backward.

"Are you walking by yourself? You shouldn't catch a taxi so late alone, I can walk with you." Namjoon said quickly and took a step forward but Adrienne shook her head.

"I live really close to the studio, I can make it by myself. I'll be safe,"

"Okay. Well, you should text me when you get home, so we don't worry." Namjoon said, quickly adding the bit about everyone worrying to save face.

"I will, good night!" She assured him and waved again to the rest of the boys before turning on her heels and heading towards her apartment.

Once she was out of sight Namjoon followed closely by Yoongi who'd gone silent, and the rest of the crowd began their slow trek back to the BigHit building.

"Hey, hyung don't you think you're being a little too obvious with Andy? Since she is a co-worker and everything," Jimin asked in a gentle tone once he'd sidled up next to Namjoon and began walking in stride with him.

"What are you talking about?" Namjoon responded as if he did not understand what Jimin was insinuating "Should I be rude to her just because she's a co-worker?"

Jimin pursed his lips but let the topic die, he knew that his band member knew that wasn't he meant but it wasn't exactly the right place or time to advise Namjoon so he kept quiet. Yoongi who was also still silently walking behind them took notice of the minor exchange and didn't have a reasonable explanation for the way his heart rate spiked or the scowl that crossed his features while he continued moving with his head down.

Jimin smiled and gently patted Namjoon on the shoulder.

"Of course not, hyung."

#bts #bts fic #bts scenarios #min yoongi #suga fic #suga scenarios #yoongi x oc #inwtb #bngtanah

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shan-joed-blog · 4 years

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Wisdom from Years of Android Development

Source of Information: Android Classes In Pune

I still keep in mind that day back in 2014 once I chose to begin Android growth, and this was among the greatest decisions I required in my entire life. It's been approximately two and a half a year today and that I had the opportunity to understand and un-learn a good deal of items in Android.

Originally when I began, I did not have a mentor or someone who could direct me to do things the ideal way. I have done a LOT of errors and wasted a great deal of time later rectifying them.

Afterwards, after one and a half a year, I have the opportunity to use some really gifted and expert Android programmers, who advised me and allow me to shape matters in a far greater manner. Both these stages helped me find out a hell lot of stuff in the tricky way.

It's been quite a while I have been attempting to assist other programmers in a sense possible for me personally, indirectly and directly.

In the following guide, I'll be sharing a few of the gems I have gathered lately. It may help a person to get started quicker rather than repeat the mistakes which I did.

Disclaimer: I could largely be focussing on Android plus a few notions of product and programming development within the following guide, so if you aren't acquainted with some of them, you may rather not read any farther. Others, just dip. :--RRB-

Do not Reinvent the Wheel

Originally I had a lousy notion of not utilizing open-source libraries. Whatever I wanted, I only wanted to make it . It has was severely a terrible thought.

When you've got a problem whilst creating your program, and if this problem was solved by another person earlier and in a fantastic way, why don't you use this? You may save yourself a good deal of time.

Focus on the core business logic of your program. If you wish to create network calls on your program, you do not have to earn a Retrofit yourself.

Bonus: Android Arsenal keeps a record of nearly all of Android libraries made. Go take a look.

Pick Libraries Wisely

You will find lots and a lot of open-source libraries out there in Github that you use at no cost. But do not get too excited and begin using libraries .

Assess the amount of celebrities that library gets, the greater the better. Assess whether the writer of the library also have established some other popular libraries too. Verify the topics (both closed and open ), which may provide you a clearer idea of how powerful and secure the library is in creation.

If you're able to spend the time, then you ought to dip into the code of the library and assess yourself whether its really worthwhile.

You only wish to make certain that the code you're likely to use is dependable, bug-free and high quality.

Pro Suggestion: Try any library hosted straight from the command line with Dryrun.

If you aren't doing this, START today.

Whatever code you're in a position to write now is simply because you've read and heard something, somewhere, someday. It is only a manifestation of what you know. You may just grow and improve your self by studying and learning from other's work.

The fantastic thing about Android is the fact that it's an entirely open-source platform. Dive in the code and assess how they've implemented the frame. There are hundreds and hundreds of open minded libraries in Github. Simply select a library and find out the way the programmer have employed it.

Bonus: here's a curated collection of a few of the greatest libraries and here's a list of nearly all accessible Android programs out there. You're welcome:--RRB-

Should you compare coding together with composing, then coding criteria is similar to your own handwriting.

Since you'd be studying more of the others code, other folks are also studying a great deal of your code and you do not wish to frighten the shit from these, do you really? And if you're working within a business and cooperating with other programmers greatly, do take particular care of it.

Write brief, readable and clean code which you and people reading your code will like thoroughly. Your code should read as a narrative.

Do not complain if you compose a bit of code along with your coworkers do not speak to you for a couple of days.

You Want ProGuard, YesYou Want It!

ProGuard not just minifies your code, but it also obfuscates your code which makes it tougher for reverse-engineers to comprehend, replicate and control it.

Its free and comes bundled with all the Android SDK, and there's simply no reason for you to not use it.

I've observed many developers releasing their program in the marketplace with no ProGuard. It shouldn't require more than a couple of hours to get a not-so-skilled hacker to control an the program published without Proguard.

Pro Suggestion: But if you'd like top-notch protection, then ProGuard is just like a cardboard at the same time you want a secure, and here it's, DexGuard.

Use a Suitable Architecture

You may thank yourself for choosing a suitable structure in the first location.

It's possible to utilize MVP (Model-View-Presenter) structure that may decouple your code to various easy-to-manage layers thereby enhancing code flexibility and significantly reducing maintenance period.

There's a good demo job for you to begin. And if you're having trouble grasping it, here's a thorough guide for the novices.

Bonus: Do provide a check out this, this and most significantly this. Every one these can help you in executing MVP on your undertaking. User Interface Is just like a Joke, Should You Need to Explain It, It Is Bad

Should you work for any company playing the use of"only" a Android programmer, you likely won't have to be overly concerned about that, since there really are UI/UX designers to look after this.

However, if you're a single programmer, you have to get this directly in your mind. I've seen programmers creating really great programs with good performance, however, the UI looks horrible along with the UX makes it a hassle to use.

Layout a clean, easy and gorgeous interface that's easy on the eyes. You shouldn't just think as a programmer, instead you need to focus on igniting the concealed designer in you.

Attempt to make a lasting impression in your customers by designing a gorgeous UI, so they return to your program more frequently than others and often convert more (purchase your premium variant ( possibly ).

You ought to find a kick by eliminating elements from your own design, instead of adding. Keep it minimal and clean.

And there's this book you probably would really like to see if you want to know more about design.

Analytics Is Your Very Best Friend

If you would like to produce a really amazing program, then you have to heavily rely on analytics programs to assess the operation and utilization of different sections of your program.

By analytics, I refer to both the collision reporting and program usage monitoring and you want both of these.

Anything you do, you can't ever make something ideal. When actual users will begin using your program on various Android apparatus and on different Android variants available, you may also find a few of the greatest written code to drop flat on the floor.

Crash reporting programs can allow you to monitor and fix themone crash at one time.

You also will need to begin thinking like a marketer and also examine the use of various elements of your program. This is what's going to allow you to bridge the gap between what you've created and what your customers' actually desire.

Pro Suggestion: I strongly suggest looking for the crash reporting tool in Instabug. You're going to appreciate it.

Make a Marketing Ninja If you're a single programmer, you need to consider beyond being"a programmer" and need to understand marketing too.

I've observed great products fail because of lack of suitable marketing, and also the not-so-good ones become hugely successful only because of fantastic advertising.

If you're seriously interested in your work and need it to reach a huge audience, you want to spend your time and cash in properly advertising your program. But prior to beginning your marketing and advertising campaigns, make certain your program is totally stable with all attributes prepared. You need maximum conversions out of each penny you pay, right?

Spend some time exploring who your opponents are and how you can overcome them. Identify the ones you're able to compete quickly as well as also the ones which you need to keep aside for a long term struggle.

Pro Suggestion: This is an inexpensive market evaluation instrument, I really like to use.

It Is Time to Boost Your Program

This is something which the majority of us don't do, however, you need to and you want to.

Write code which runs fast, takes less memory and absorbs less apparatus storage.

An unoptimized program works well under ordinary conditions, but when placed to various stressful circumstances, it may show you its true colours.

Bear in mind, a very small leak can sink a large ship. Spend some time on knowing how the Garbage Collector works in Java, produce heap dumps and examine your live items.

Pro Suggestion: Use Leak Canary to discover your memory flows. It can save a great deal of time by accomplishing this job for you.

Save Over 5 Hours Each Week with Gradle Builds

It is very very possible that you're utilizing Android Studio to create Android programs and utilizing Gradle as your own build platform. Gradle is excellent but its slow and it becomes much thinner than a snail as soon as your job size begins to increase in proportion.

I recall the countless hours I've wasted just sitting and awaiting the Gradle assembles to complete. On hefty workouts, I wasted around one hour just Gradle assembles and that is like 5 hours each week draining the gutter.

However, there are ways to speed this up too.

It is possible to stick to this and this article to greatly enhance your construct rates. My construct time fell from 4 minutes to less than 30 minutes following appropriate optimization.

Evaluation, Evaluation and When You're Finished, Test Again!

There isn't anything more significant than testing. This is something which needs to be on very top of your list.

Test your program as completely as you can. Create various stressful scenarios for your program and see whether it can endure.

I'd formerly made the mistake of publishing my program from rush and did not spend appropriate time analyzing it. I had been waiting for my customers to confront bugs, report it and then I'd go and mend them.

You may spare a day, or 2, or per week by cutting time from studying, but will most likely have to spend over double afterwards.

Make a visionary. Sow today, reap afterwards.

There are a massive assortment of all Android devices with different display sizes and hardware specifications from plenty of different apparatus manufactures that personalize the OS for their heart's content.

Added to this are the a variety of Android variants at which Google adds/removes API performance from nowhere to raise your workload further (an example here).

By way of instance, not just one Android programmer has completed a program without using SharedPreferences API. It is so common, however it had been broken up in Samsung Galaxy S using Android 2.2 (bug report ).

Spend additional time creating different designs for different screen dimensions. Evaluation on various apparatus, having different variations, different specifications and from various OEMs.

Never presume something could work, simply as it appears so.

Start with Git, Now!

If you're still not utilizing Git, go right ahead and begin using it straight away.

Once I began Android advancement, I was unlucky enough to not understand exactly what the fudge Git was. I used to replicate my whole project regular and keep 1 backup in my hard disk and another from the cloud. Seems foolish? Yes, it was.

Git can radically enhance your workflow. If a person asks me to mention a tool I use everyday and can not quit using? It is Git and Git each time.

And likely after using it for a couple of days you'd fall in love with it and wish to understand how Git works tirelessly, so here it's prepared for you.

And after some time, you'd be starting a large project your self and get confused about how you should keep a suitable branching model, so that you go.

Bonus: If you're only starting out and can not manage to pay the monthly subscription fee for keeping private repositories from GitHub, it is possible to attempt BitBucket which permits you to do this free of charge.

Make It Hard for the Hackers

The open minded nature of Android is exactly what makes it susceptible to attacks.

You do not need it to happen for your program, right?

You ought to be aware of how to safely store API keys everywhere on your program. If you're managing sensitive information from those consumers, then you have to understand how to encrypt themwhat algorithm to select (secure yet quickly ).

It's also advisable to keep the encryption keys safely in the host or locally (if desired ). If you're storing sensitive information in the database, then think about obfuscating it.

If your program includes a premium version that gets cracked and has published at no cost. You'd incur a critical reduction in company, right?

There are many things you can do to stop your program from becoming tampered. There's not anything like 100% safety. Any proficient and recognized hacker with the proper tools, patience and tools may crack your program.

Whatever you need to do is make it hard, rather very tricky for the hacker to decode it.

A luxury apparatus will hide a great deal of flaws while creating your program. Suppose you're doing something from the UI thread that makes its way to get a laggy UI, however onto a potent device, you might never ever observe that.

A classic, low-end apparatus, dumped with a lot of programs makes it perfect for a development apparatus.

That is an investment which will pay you eternally.

Whilst creating large and intricate programs, you may face some common issues that have probably been solved before by somebody more capable than you, that is when designing patterns comes in to play.

Here's a Github job that shows all of the design patterns known to humanity.

Looks like a great deal? It really is not. You'll begin enjoying them after you dip in.

It Is Time to Give Back

Most of us have a great deal of assistance from folks around us and by the net. Lets declare it. When you have a issue, the very first thing you'd do is Google that and find the very first link from StackOverflow. Sometimes you're in a rush and you wind up copying and pasting the alternative in the response with the greatest votes.

Ever believed the amount of libraries you're using from Github free of charge and the way in which they have significantly reduced your development efforts and time. Its because somebody somewhere has taken the opportunity to construct it and donate to make the community better.

Recall the day, if you had been stuck in knowing a challenging idea or something that's completely new to you, and you wind up finding an wonderful blog post that made it super simple for you. Its because someone skipped a film date and wrote this post.

We're active in our work and also we find it too hard to handle time and do something for others. But try to get some time each week to donate and make this particular Android community wealthier.

I've attempted to discuss a few of the lessons I have discovered in this brief journey with Android improvement. I'll continue my trip, find out more and share more. I hope it will help somebody and makes their life somewhat simpler.

Android Course In Pune | Android Training In Pune | Learn Android Development In Pune

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gaymer-hag-stan · 4 years

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My Top Five Video Game Franchises

I wasn't planning on sharing this but it turned out good so I decided I will!

5. SoulCalibur

I'm a big fighting video game fan! I'm nowhere near being a pro though I can beat most of my friends in many different fighters. SoulCalibur is one of the games I played with an old friend during summer while at the countryside when we were kids. His uncle would occasionally come over at his grandpatrents' house and bring his Dreamcast with him and he had SoulCalibur with it! I also had the PlayStation 2 demos of SoulCalibur II and III. When I still had a Wii and a PSP I got SoulCalibur Legends and Broken Destiny for each console respectively and while none were particularly spectacular games I had hours of fun playing both and I was happy knowing I finally own two SoulCalibur games! I couldn't afford a PlayStation 3 yet and by then PlayStation 2 games were really hard to find in Greece. My main character is Ivy. Ivy is infamous for being a very striking example of female video game characters who are grossly oversexualised and while it never had any effect on me whatsoever I realised while growing up why it is an issue. Despite that, I believe that you can enjoy and appreciate characters despite their portrayal but at the same time I can understand people who want a better representaion of female characters and I support them in that endeavour. I tend to always appreciate video game characters on a deeper level, or at least I try, while playing a game and I think that even fighting video game characters can have more substance than what meets the eye, and Ivy is no exception, especially considering how SoulCalibur has really deep background stories and lores for all its characters. My favourite game is SoulCalibur III. I love its character and stage design, music, everything. I really miss this game.

4. Dead or Alive

Another game I started playing as a kid during the summer at the countryside with my cousins, I think you'll come accross this concept in almost all of the games I'll be mentioning 'cause you basically can't do anything in Greece in the summer during noon because it's too hot to go outside until the sun starts to set so gaming was our favourite pasttime after returning from the beach and while waiting to go out later in the day. My cousins and a friend had DOA 2: Dead or Alive 2 for the PlayStation 2. Since me, my friend and my cousins were four people but didn't have that many controllers we each played story mode in turns trying to unlock more costumes for our favourite characters. My main is Helena Douglas. Again, the entire female cast is grossly oversexualised but a lot of them are close to my heart. The first game I owned was, for better or worse, Dead or Alive Xtreme Paradise for the PSP, one of the side games that features only the girls in a tropical island basically playing beah voleyball, and... being sexy... The game is a mess but the voleyball part is actually really fun and trying to collect all the swimsuits for all the girls was strangely addictive! The series came back from the grave back in 2012 and I finally got to play a mainline Dead or Alive game again as it had been an Xbox exclusive from 2001 to 2006 and there were no new main games after that. The second update to DOA5, Last Round in particular is really fun and I've spent hours upon hours playing. Definitely my favourite in the series and one of my favourite games overall.

3. Tekken

Again, a fighting series and yet again, one I played with my cousins and friends during summer at the countryside xD ! Tekken 5 was one of the games all of us owned and played the most so it's also my favourite and among my favourite games overall, definitely my favourite fighting game. My main is Nina Williams and along with Lara Croft I think they're my ultimate favourite female video game characters. They have a very similar demeanour and character design though Nina's costumes lean a lot more on the sexy side than Lara's ever did and she is a lot colder than Lara is but both were among the things that helped me realize how very gay I am. I think that any other fellow male Greek gamers or gamers from more conservative countries in general are very familiar with the concept that "playing with girls is gay", a sentiment I haven't really seen fly around in more open-minded societies. In any case, at some point I realised that I actually was gay all along so all these people were right and there was nothing wrong with it. So in that regard Lara and Nina are kinda my main heroines. I even got her own action-adventure spin-off game. The game itself is... mediocre, but I loved it because it was all about Nina! It kind of had a Tomb Raider meets James Bond feel to it. A friend of my dad's gave me a couple of games as a gift at some point and one of them was Tekken Tag Tournament that had all those classic characters that were either dead or a thousand years old in Tekken 5 featured while they were still in their prime so we also had a lot of fun with that game during summer. In 2009, I still couldn't afford a PS3 so I asked my mum for a PSP and Tekken 6 was included with it, spent countless hours with it and eventually got it again when I got a PS3 along with Tekken Tag Tournament 2.

2. Final Fantasy

Final Fantasy is a series I absolutely hated until I somehow didn't anymore... I tried a Final Fantasy X demo as a kid and I was extremely put off by the turn-based combat system. It was something no other games had at the time, none of the games I had played anyway, and it felt really weird and unintresting to me. so I decided that I will hate it forever and ever... Until 2015. By then I had just started university and I was kind of depressed because I really hated what I was studying and felt very trapped. For some reason that still puzzles me until today I decided that I wanted to try out Final Fantasy again. I made a little internet search and found out Final Fanatsy XIII was the most recent entry (side note: I hadn't upgraded to PS4 yet). I rented it from the video store and spent a week staying home playing it instead of going to uni... I understand now that it wasn't the most sensible option but it was honestly a break I really needed in order to truly realize that I should seek out other options if I'm not happy with my studies, and I did. After XIII I got VII for the PS3 and last March my friends got me XV for my birthday. A couple months ago I went on a "shopping spree" and got VII, VIII, IX, XII and X / X-2 for the PS4 and I am currently waiting for my copy of the FFVII Remake to arrive. Final Fantasy is probably the series that has made me cry the most and also inspired me a lot. It's also the only one that has ever come close to replacing Tomb Raider as my favourite series. Lastly, Final Fantasy XIII along with Resident Evil 6 and Tomb Raider: Legend are my "holy trinity" of video games people love to hate but I personally adore xD I'm not sure I can pick a favourite as I've enjoyed all of the ones I've played but maybe X? Though I'm feeling the VII Remake might surpass it.

1. Tomb Raider

Again, the summer story, you know the drill. I remember first playing Legend's demo and then while I was staying at my cousins' at their home in a town which is near the countryside we usually spent our summers, our uncle would have us go pick up games to rent at the video store after returning from the beach. We kept on renting Legend and trying to beat it. We only ever got up to the waterwheel puzzle in Ghana... If you have no prior experience with Tomb Raider (and you're literally nine!) Legend can actually be very challenging! Next year I got Anniversary, which was the first Tomb Raider game I ever owned and then got Legend. At some point during one of our video store raids my cousin decided to rent Angel of Darkness instead of Legend so we also got to experience that. It's probably his favourite. On my playthrough I got up to the point where you see Kurtis running off with his bike and then I think I got stuck in the sewers and didn't really know what to do next! I haven't been able to get my hands on it ever since. After the summer I converted a bunch of my classmates into Tomb Raider fans. Two of them had a good PC and that was the first time I ever got to play Chronicles. I got Underworld in 2008 but it was just the crappy PS2 version. I own all main and Lara Croft games except AoD. Lara Croft has been my favourite video game character for about as long as I've been playing video games. She is very special to me for reasons I already explained with Nina and it's very very hard to imagine how my life would be without her. I'm truly thankful for her and Tomb Raider. Legend will forever be my favourite and possibly favourite game ever.

#Final Fantasy #Tomb Raider #Tekken #SoulCalibur #Dead or Alive

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beautifulletdownfics · 5 years

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harry is fine and nina is fine too: part iii

Nina's late.

She's late and thanks to the puddle she managed to plonk through when crossing the road, she also has wet shoes and socks. The rain trickles a path down the back of her neck as she tripple checks crossing the street, little smatterings making their way onto her face as her umbrella fights off the latest gust of wind.

Leaving her class this afternoon, something in her had thought it would be nice to walk home instead of jumping on the subway like she usually would. She missed the fresh, crisp air of Blackpool and some part of her liked the painful chill that sunk through her. There was something nostalgic about the cold and the wet, and she was missing England with a newfound force since seeing Rodger and Adriana the day before.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Nina calls down the hallway at the front door, “New Yorker’s don’t know how to walk when it's raining. Have you started without me?"

"Just put the meat in, don't stress," Jane was leaning up against the kitchen bench waiting for Nina to appear from the entranceway, "We said seven anyway."

The clock on the wall read 6:45pm.

Nina frowns, "I'm on dinner, I left on time, but you people lose your shit in this weather."

"We're not used to it," Jane defends lightly, "Wine?"

"Please," Nina nods, pulls off her coat and scarf and hangs them over a dining chair, "Is Sarah in yet?" she watches Jane shake her head, "I'll be right back."

Their apartment is tiny, and it's probably too small for the three of them who share it. But it works somehow. Jane and Sarah had been housemates for years before Nina moved into the tiny study, or "third bedroom". It felt nice to move into an established home unit, the three girls did their Friday night dinners once a month and Sunday brunches, and they kept up with each other's lives. It helps ease Nina's homesickness.

It doesn't matter to Nina that her room isn't much bigger than the size of her bed, with only room to shuffle around one side of it to the tiny standing wardrobe in the corner, also touching the bed. She spends most of her days out, and she has found herself suddenly comforted by small spaces. Nina hides in this tiny room on weekend afternoons. She feels as though her world is incredibly small, instead of feeling the chronic and overwhelming sprawling expanse of thousands upon thousands of miles between where she is and where she is from.

"How was work?” Nina asks Jane when she returns to the kitchen, pulling potatoes from a tub under the sink and making sure none of them rolls off the bench before going on the hunt for other vegetables suitable for roasting.

"Fine," Jane replies, "My boss went home at lunch, so we all took off early as well. Did you have a good time with your friends last night?”

Nina’s heart swelled and sunk at the same time if that was possible, “It was so lovely to see them. Saying goodbye sucked.”

Jane looks at her sadly, taking a seat at their small dining table so Nina could monopolise the use of the whole kitchen space. Nina pretends she doesn’t notice the look. She’s tried hard all day not to dwell too much on what it might mean that I was so painful to say goodbye to Rodger. She’s doing her best not to think of everyone else she’s missing too.

"Oh, this one's nice," Nina comments, taking her first sip of wine. "I didn't realise how ready for a weekend I was. I heard earlier the rain is supposed to clear up overnight and tomorrow should be nice and—“

“—I'm home and I brought cake!"

Sarah barrels down the hallway, bags hanging off her arm, her collapsed umbrella raised above her head like a weapon of war. Nina rushes across to save the cake box shoved under Sarah’s arm, the familiar stamp of the bakery Sarah is a pastry chef at stamped over the top.

“It might be a touch soggy,” Sarah says quickly, accidentally hitting the hanging light with her umbrella and scaring herself, “But we can put it in the oven and fix that.”

Nina and Jane laugh at their housemate, she’s dripping wet and yet, red-faced and happy. Nina feels a lightness in her chest that had been wound too tight all day.

Maybe it was the wine.

Two more bottles appear from Sarah’s handbag, “I called both of you, did we need wine?”

Jane claps her hands together, “No but ooh goodie. Does anyone have anything in the morning?”

Nina’s laughing, and it feels good, but there’s something just a whisper from her heart, and it’s bringing tears to her eyes. Laughing with Rodger last night had felt the same, as though she was watching something she knew would disappear again very soon and there was no way to prolong it.

“Wine is probably a terrible idea for me right now,” She confesses, chopping away at the vegetables and trying to keep her voice light.

“Nina’s homesick,” Jane explains to Sarah easily.

Sarah’s dumped everything on the floor by the kitchen door and is tugging at the outer layers of her clothing, there’s a momentary pause as she recalls Nina’s friend’s from home having been in town, “How was last night?”

“Lovely,” Nina responds, “So lovely. They looked tan and happy from their honeymoon.”

“I bet they’ve missed you,” Sarah says in the dangerously disarming way that Nina can never quite match up to the raucous, loud woman she usually is. It’s a small nudge to getting further into Nina’s head.

When she first moved in, Nina had told herself that New York was a fresh start and these two new women in her life wouldn’t be getting Sad Nina. Moving in with Sarah and Jane was an opportunity to make a life in New York that wasn’t tied up in Harry. Nina didn’t want them to know what had happened to her relationship, she couldn’t dwell on it. She refused.

But before she moved in the girls had obviously Googled her to find what they would have thought would just be a Facebook page. They had just wanted to check Nina Lawrence actually existed and was a real human, but they fell upon far more than they had bargained for.

It had been an awkward few first weeks living with them. Mainly because there was no juicy break-up story. Nina had nothing bad to say about Harry.

Not a thing.

He lands in New York and heads straight to the apartment.

It is a minefield of Nina,. He brought it when they were together. Harry sold his place in Los Angeles— because she hated it there and would never travel with him if that was the destination—and instead, he got this apartment in New York.

She always loved this city, and the time they spent together in this apartment was always fun and romantic and settling. Hearing that Nina had moved here had been shocking, but it wasn’t a surprise she had picked New York.

Where Harry’s house in London is old and homey—with nooks and crannies, ornate finishes and a pleasant, comforting undercurrent of quintessential Englishness—the flat in New York is modern and sleek, with an open plan concept that makes Harry feel artistic and languid.

The first thing Harry does when he arrives is open three windows and take the cover off the baby grand piano Nina was furious at him for buying at the time.

He props open the cover and then sits at the bench, lifting the lid off the keys. The smell of the internal wood wafts over him slowly, and Harry tinkers with a few notes before making himself more comfortable in the seat and finding a familiar melody to play through.

He owes her his ability to play the piano so well now. Nina taught Harry herself, and now everything from his posture to the way he no longer watches his hands is wrapped up in her gentle voice, patiently correcting him while holding up his chin with delicate fingers.

Harry watches the pins inside the instrument flick in and out as he plays, striking the corresponding keys, and finally, he has the first hint of doubt hit him about being in New York.

What is he doing? If she needed or wanted him in her life she would have reached out, Nina knew she could call him for anything. Didn’t she? She had to know that.

The thing is though that Harry needs her. He’s tired of missing her. He needs to hear her voice—see her—because he misses her so much that he’s forgotten what not missing Nina feels like. What was it like to just come home and know she would be there? He wants to go back to being able to get through a writing session without having a panic attack.

In eight months of separation, Harry’s not managed to record a single song to completion. He barely makes it through singing through the demo versions. All of it is about her, and it’s like his brain can’t comprehend or sit with the knowledge that Harry and Nina are done, and he’s only ever going to be writing old memories, not making new ones with her.

Hearing from Rodger had scared him. Harry’s worried that Nina isn’t happy. Whatever Rodger saw that led to him calling Harry must have been significant.

Harry’s fingers stop on the piano keys suddenly. He has to call her. Rodger sent through a text after their phone call with Nina’s new phone number. The number Harry has saved wasn’t even right anymore.

The new one is a US number, and Harry’s hands shake, but he knows he has to do it.

He hits call and immediately wants to scream. He’s on his feet and repeating ‘fuck’ under his breath when someone—Nina—picks up.

“Hello, Nina speaking.”

Fuck.

“Nina … It’s Harry.”

“Harry?” Her voice breaks in such a subtle way he nearly misses it, he drops his chin to his chest and shuts his eyes.

“Yeah. Hi.”

Nina doesn’t say anything.

“I’m in New York, and I’d really like to see you.”

Nina’s glad she only had one glass of wine at dinner.

Sarah and Jane have both stopped speaking and are watching Nina with her phone to her ear, not saying anything. They heard her say her ex-boyfriend's name over the conversation about who was going to win The Bachelor.

“Nina?”

“Nina?” Jane repeats what Harry just said in her ear.

Harry.

Nina stands and walks to her room. She shuts her eyes against the closed door and tries to swallow her heart back down to its place.

He repeats her name again and then waits a moment, “Are you there?”

“Yep … You’ve got shows?” Nina hadn’t seen anything about him playing in New York, but then she’s never been brave enough to have a Google news alert for him. She’s scared of what she might see.

Harry coughs, “No. I’m here to see you. If you’ll let me.”

“Let you?”

The notion was almost as ridiculous as the idea Harry might have flown to New York purely to see her.

“You can say you don’t want to,” He sounds hurt, and Nina hates herself for it.

She shakes her head and sits on her bed, “Sorry, I … When will work for you? I’m free most of tomorrow—”

—Tonight. Can I see you now?”

Nina’s petrified. She has no idea how this is happening, how it went from being a Friday where she did all her Friday things and then came home and made Friday night dinner with her housemates, and now she’s on the phone to Harry, and he wants to see her.

She’s dizzy from adrenaline and Nina’s sure the instant she sees him she won’t be able to hold off the tears. Even hearing his voice sets her missing him on fire and fills her with longing.

“I can come to meet you if that’s easier …”

“It’s late,” He says gently, “I’ll come to you. Send me your address?”

#ss extras #drabbles #fic: someday someday #hina

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am-molloy · 5 years

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20 Facts About Me: A.M. Molloy

Hello everyone! Welcome back (or to) my blog.

Today I thought I would share with you all 15 random facts that you may or may not know about me. These factoids may not have to with my writing life, but they’ll help you understand who I am as a person. So! Let’s take a dive into my life.

If you didn't know this already, I have a cat named Sorren. She is my soul-kitty and the love of my life. We’ve barely been apart the 11 years she’s been in my life. I wasn’t going to accept any job abroad unless I could bring her.

I love to travel. In fact, my first big travel was to a summer camp in China when I was 15, way back in 2004.

So far, I’ve been to (in order), China, America, Japan ( x3 ), Korea, (x3 ), Belgium, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Hong Kong, and Thailand. Being Canadian, I’ve obviously been to Canada, though I haven’t travelled as much within my own country. I do plan on visiting more countries soon, but for now, I’m planning another return visit to Japan for my upcoming summer vacation.

I am a 2nd-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, although it’s been a few years since I practiced due to financial issues. I would love to practice again, especially as I live in Korea now, but now is not the right time for me. I still have all my equipment and remember most of my forms so perhaps someday!

Side note, back in the day when I did practice, I used to go to competitions and would usually win first or second place. Usually first for forms and second for sparing. I rarely got lower and if I did it was for sparing. Forms were my strong suit.

I used to be an animator. I went to an art school studying animation and graphics and working in my field after graduation. Though if I’m being honest, I was never the best at animation. Still, art was more my thing. So when I worked for Contendo, I eventually gravitated towards mostly audio work and eventually becoming their Senior Audio Editor. I still do art, but it’s now for fun rather work. And let’s be honest, the art I did for Contendo isn’t what you would have expected me to be doing. At Contendo we made training videos for oil and gas companies.

Below is my super old demo reel, and I have improved since 2009 But this is to just show you what I used to do. I was by far the best but I enjoyed doing it all the same.

Note: The video is from my old YouTube channel from college. I do not use that channel anymore. If you want to see more up to date videos and life in Korea, check out my actual YouTube channel: Canadian Abroad: A.M. Molloy.

I have a total of 11 tattoos! (So far). Below is a slideshow from my very first tattoo (the tribal dragon when I was 17) to my latest, number eleven done this year in Korea (Sorren).

I am fluent in English, French, Spanish and I can speak intermediate Japanese (taught myself) and beginner Korean (also teaching myself).

My dad is French (from Quebec) so I learned English and French growing up in my household. I majored in Spanish at university and spent a semester in Spain as an exchange student.

I used to do a lot of cosplay, but I haven’t done so in years. I haven’t cosplayed very much and I reused the same cosplay for many cons (and halloween costumes) but I still enjoyed doing it all the same. I can’t sew so I always had help making them. I still appreciate a good cosplay from other cosplayers.

I love photography, though I’m still learning. I’m far from good but I’m getting better every day. I mostly take iPhone photography shots because I don’t always lug around my Nikon D3200. Honestly, with a bit of practice, anyone can make iPhone pictures turn out great. Featured below are a few of my favourite shots taken with my iPhone 8.

I have a wall of all my shots but my favourite will always be of my best friend, Leila, holding the Polaroid picture I just took of her. The picture of her holding the picture (INCEPTION) was also another iPhone shot.

I made my own language/culture because reasons. Mostly RP though. The language is called Hikaran and is spoken by a race on the planet Spira. I go into full length on said language and people in a previous blog post, so please, go ahead and check it out!

Admittedly, I made most of this up during math class in high school. It’s safe to say I’m not very good at math.

Anyway, instead of going into full detail here (because it’s in the blog post), I’ll just leave this popular Hikaran saying here:

While on exchange to Spain back in the summer of 2016, I met and shook hands with the queen of Spain in what I call a happy accident. One day I was walking around my school and taking a stroll around town and I noticed a blocked road a crowd starting to form where there usually isn’t. So, naturally, I had to get up front to see what was going to happen. Turns out the queen of Spain was in town and she took time to shake hands with people and I got lucky enough to be one of them. Moral of the story: when you see a tent or a barricade and people starting to gather where there usually isn’t, get up front because awesome things are gonna happen. Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture with her, but I do, however, have a picture of her. (Pictured above).

Back in high school, when it was time for graduation photos, we were told we could bring an item, like a soccer ball or baseball bat, if we wanted for our pictures. Being the cat-obsessed weird person that I am, I legit brought my cat, Marbles (AKA Mibs) in a duffle bag (it was open) to school for my picture. Needless to say, I was the talk of the school for bringing a cat haha. I lived super close to my school so I took my picture and brought her straight home. She hated going to school but was a good girl and took an amazing picture.

I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. Literally grew up with it. I was in the 6th grade reading the first three books because that’s all that was published at the time. When the first Harry Potter movie came out, I’ll never forget the experience. It was amazing and I loved every bit of it.

PS: I’m a proud Gryffindor. I also have many friends from all of the houses, but most of them are from Slytherin.

I grew with Pokemon. I was around when it was all first released and Pokemon Red was my first ever game I owned to go with the first ever consul I opened, Nintendo Colour. I buy every game, still collect cards, and I used to watch the anime. Pokemon will always have a special place in my heart.

My new all time favourite game is Life is Strange all other games in said franchise. THAT GAME IS MY LIFE, YO. I mean, if you noticed on fact number 5 that one of my tattoos is Life is Strange themed.

My favourite author is Rachel Vincent.

Literally, anything she writes is golden to me.

My favourite series of hers will always be the Soul Screamers series. I still can’t believe how she ended that series. Love it! I just get so invested in each world that she creates that I feel like I’m right there with the characters and I don’t know what to do with my life when I finish each book.

If you love reading, I highly recommend checking her out.

The origin of my author name: A.M. Molloy is basically the initials to my given name, Alex Molloy. However, in person, I prefer to be called Mina. Mina is my Korean name and to be honest, I was never fond of Alex. Since I live in Korea, everyone here calls me Mina. It makes me happy to hear people call me Mina. :3

My novel is in its third round of edits and beta reader stage. One of my beta readers created SOUTH’s very first meme! I’m so in love with it that I’m sharing it here.

So, my university had this mini ball pit kept in the student center. Once during a society meeting at my university, my friend and I decided to completely organize the ball pit into a rainbow. It literally took us forty-five mins straight but we did it! And then no one wanted to sit in the ball bit for like a week because they didn’t want to mess it up so we had to mess it up again so people would use it again.

During my second visit to Japan, I had the pleasure to meet a real sumo wrestler. It was an honour. I wish I could have seen an actual match but this was still awesome all the same.

I loved volunteering at my university for many things, but my favourite was being an NSO Leader. My last year at uni I had the privilege to be on the best team, Yellow Team, and had the most amazing crew. It was truly the best experience. I loved helping all the newcomers to UPEI and I would do it again in a heartbeat if I was still in school.

Well, you’ve made it this far! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed learning a bit more about me. For now, this concludes my new post, 20 facts about me.

Take care.

— Mina (A.M. Molloy)

#FAQ #Ramdom Facts #Author

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doomedandstoned · 5 years

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Candlemass: 35 Years A Band

~A Doomed & Stoned Double Feature~

Dare To Knock On The Door To Doom

By Magnus Tannergren

I don't know how well known it is that CANDLEMASS hails from the same hoods in the Upplands Väsby right outside Stockholm as both Yngwie Malmsteen and Europe. And it is a fact that Candlemass debut album Epicus Doomicus Metallicus was released just two weeks after Europe's smash hit album The Final Countdown. We all know that that album earned Europe worldwide fame. Candlemass, on the other hand, remained an underground affair for decades.

Yet the legacy of Candlemass cannot be underestimated in anyway when it comes to heavy music. Their slow, heavy Sabbath worship paved the way for a whole genre inspired by the heavy rock and proto-metal of the ‘70s that we call, up until this present day, doom metal. Ironically, Europe now days have returned to their roots and sound more like Deep Purple or Rainbow than anything else. The circle is complete.

Anyway, this is a review of the new Candlemass album 'The Door To Doom' (2019 - Napalm Records) and not a study of when two parallel universes collide. This album also completes a full circle for Candlemass in many ways, too. It sees the return of the mystery man who did the vocals on that legendary debut album that arrived more than three decades ago. It was shocking news when Johan Längquist was announced as the vocalist on the new album -- an album that was already done with vocals by longtime singer Mats Levén (Therion, Krux). Oh the drama...

But maybe this is exactly what Candlemass needed to get back on track. The band has not been able to really deliver the goods these past ten years or so, in my opinion. Maybe it's because of the lead singer issues that have been tormenting Candlemass for ages. The reunion with Messiah Marcolin back in 2004 went south, Rob Lowe had a great voice but didn't work out as a touring member, and so on. Add main songwriter Leif Edling’s struggles with chronic fatigue syndrome and it is easy to understand that this doomsday machine has not been firing on all its cylinders for a while.

Yet here we are now. The new album is out and it is a grand return to epic doom metal as we know it should be done by Candlemass. I am the first to admit that I was skeptical, as I always am, to these kinds of albums that try to summon the glory of the past by reuniting with old members. But I am also the first one to admit when I am wrong. This is a fantastic Candlemass album.

The Door To Doom by CANDLEMASS

The voice of Längquist has matured as a good wine. It depth and grandeur coupled with attitude and experience. The vocals add that extra drama to tracks like "Splendor Demon Majesty" and "Astorolus – the Great Octopus" (yes, there is a solo by Tony Iommi on this, so another completed circle), but there is also beauty to be had, such as in the epic ballad "Bridge of the Blind" with its echoes of the great old ones, like Dio. I'm glad Johan Längquist is back. His silence has been a waste.

Musically, Candlemass delivers an album that stands proud besides the classic first four albums Epicus Doomicus Metallicus, Nightfall, Ancient Dreams, and Tales of Creation. It measures up to the challenge to invoke the gods of doom in a way that sometimes sends shivers down my spine, as I recall the greatness of this band's early years. It bares the mark of true doom and the spirits of the old classics possess this album. The guitar works by Mappe Björkman and Lasse Johansson are stellar and the thunder of Edling’s bass and Jan Lindh’s drumming is spectacular.

The music bares all the marks that makes up the legend of Candlemass. It is, in the words of the band itself, “the sound of 666.” I already mentioned some of the highlights on the album, but I must also say The Door To Doom doesn't really have any weak spots. All the songs are very strong and the riffing is epic. Despite my skepticism, I got bewitched again.

A great doom metal record, indeed, executed with precision and power. I fully believe this material has focus to make Candlemass relevant as a scene-anchoring act in metal once again and I hope they succeed, because the world needs this band. On the other hand, if this turns out to be the last album by this legendary Swedish doomers, The Door To Doom will also serve as a fitting final chapter in the Book of Candlemass. I honestly hope it’s not.

Magnus is the founder and host of Into The Void Podcast. He is also a senior staff writer at Slavestate.se, one of Sweden's oldest and most important online zines about heavy and extreme music.

☠

An Interview with

Candlemass Co-Founder

Leif Edling

By Willem Verhappen

I must say I was very surprised when the new record was announced, since at the time of its release, you said 'Psalms for the Dead' would be the final Candlemass full-length record. What made you change your mind? >

The "House of Doom" single. It was great fun to write it! Also working with producer Marcus Jidell was fantastic. We're quite a team, I must say. There I got the inspiration back for an entire album. We had a couple of band meetings about it and it was very clear that the band shared the enthusiasm for a new record. They had been playing live without me for a couple of years, with good response, but without an album it is easy for you to become a retro band pretty quick. Don't want that to happen to Candlemass.

I see what you mean. It's quite a challenge to stay relevant as an "older" band, especially in this day and age, when everything retro seems to be cool. On one hand you have bands like Priest and Saxon, who are still releasing decent records, and on the other hand there's bands who've been past their expiration date for decades. Do you prefer to see a band over their top or just remember them as they were?

That one’s easy. Remember them as they were. But having said that, it is a joy to see bands like Angel Witch, Manilla Road, Pries, and Saxon today, because they can still deliver. When you can’t deliver the goods anymore, maybe stay at home instead. Hope somebody will tap me on the shoulder one day and say “Leif...It’s time.” (laughs)

"Too many discussions & arguments over the years. Maybe some heart was missing in it all."

Just before the Christmas of 2013, you had a bout with burnout and stepped away from live performances for a while. What made you realize you needed to take a break? How did you get the “fire” back again?

A bit better, but not 100%. I'm still struggling with it. I hope I can do the rest of 2019's shows without too many problems. Have to look after myself, rest as much as I can, eat regularly, not party too much. Well, this is very "rock 'n' roll" to say, but it is great to be back. You have to listen to your body. If it says "rest," you have to step back. If it says, “Go, you can do it,” I hope I can!

I hope so. too. As a diabetic. I know it's sometimes difficult to listen to your body and not get drawn into the excitement of the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. Is it difficult for you? What do you do in these moments?

On the Candlemass tour with Ghost, there was lots of partying on the bus after the shows. I was there, but took it quite easy. Went to bed early, but still I felt tired in the morning. So if we go on another tour, I might have to stop drinking totally, to pull it off. Playing live almost every night takes its toll. I’m 50-plus, struggling with fatigue syndrome, on a tour bus to hell -- talk about the wrong man in the wrong place! (laughs) Said "yes" to it instantly, of course.

In 2015, you released Avatarium’s second album, 'The Girl With The Raven Mask.' Was it difficult for you to pick up writing again?

Yes, it was. Well, not super hard. The burnout gave me the time to rest and get new inspirado for songs. In a way, I’m glad that it happened. Think many people just go on and on without taking a break. They just keep on going and get themselves an aneurysm or something. I quit before that happened. Got lots of time to think about future and what to do with it. Songwriting is one part. That Avatarium album is pretty good, I think.

I agree. It's my favorite Avatarium record. But you're saying this like you're not as happy with the other two records. Is that the case?

No. I love all three of them, but the second is the best.

We spoke briefly at Roadburn 2017 and I don’t know who was more nervous, me for meeting you or you for getting back on stage, playing the first ever live show with The Doomsday Kingdom. I remember that you were afraid no one would show up. Luckily, the place was pretty crowded and you guys gave an amazing show. I still get goosebumps when I think of your emotional performance of "The God Particle." How do you remember your return to the big stage?

The stage wasn’t that big (laughs), but it felt rather good. I could have played better, plus it's true I was quite nervous. It was the first small step to a full return, I would say.

In September of 2017, I spoke to Markus Jidell at an Avatarium show and he told me you were working on something very special. This was shortly before the 'House of Doom' EP was announced, so I assumed he was talking about that. Was he or were you already working on 'The Door To Doom'?

We worked on the House of Doom for about six months before we started on the full-length album. If I remember correctly, we started the demoing of the new songs on November 1st. The full album took exactly one year to make. Too long! Next time, I hope I’m better, then I hope we can deliver an album in three to six months. Shouldn’t take more time than that.

Does that mean there will be more Candlemass music coming our way?

Well, eventually. Hopefully!

The only surprise bigger than a new record was the return of Johan Längquist. How did that come about?

During the recording, we felt something was missing. We had too many discussions and arguments over the years -- all of us. Maybe some heart was missing in it all. I'd worked my ass off for this record, but was struggling with my health. Too much work, too much business, too many arguments, too much bull! In the end, we took a band decision to bring in Johan again -- go back to the "ground zero" of Doom, so to speak. Mats had done a great job, but we needed to do something in C-mass to find the spark again and Johan was the answer. Now we focus on having fun, not letting any business take over. I have no clue if it will last a year or two. At least we will enjoy the time left.

Lyrically, as well as musically, I think ‘The Door To Doom’ feels like a very dark record. What were your inspirations while writing this album?

It’s a good thing that people see the albums music and lyrics in different ways. I don’t think it is that dark. We have done darker things in C-mass, definitely. The songs are about the state of the world, how I feel myself during the burnout process, sea monsters, and reflections upon life in general. This time around, I’m pretty satisfied with the lyrics.

"I have no clue if it will last a year or two. At least we will enjoy the time left."

It's no secret that you’re a massive Black Sabbath fan, owning over half a meter worth of vinyl of their debut alone. I can only imagine how special it must have been for Tony Iommi to play on your record. How did that come about and what was it like working with Tony?

We just asked him. Seriously. We asked and got a "yes!" Our manager emailed his personal manager. Couldn’t believe it when we had the positive answer back. I was over the moon. Tony Iommi will play on my song! Hardest thing was to keep my mouth shut for three months. (laughs) But, you know, if you aim for the stars, you might succeed. He sent us the solo after a while and it was absolutely great! A dream came true.

Amazing how easily these things can happen.

Yes, Dio said once in an interview that he would have loved to guest sing on records but he never had the question put to him.

You’re currently on tour, opening for Ghost. When I went to see your show in Amsterdam, I noticed their audience is turning more mainstream. For instance, before your show, I heard someone say: “I looked up Candlemass online. They sound kind of like AC/DC.” Do you recognise this and how have the reactions been so far?

I have heard that we sound like Iron Maiden and Motörhead, to mention a couple. AC/DC? That’s a first. But the crowd reaction for our short set during the Ghost tour has been really good, actually. Better than we expected, so we must have done something right. The reactions for the album have been fantastic. Super great criticism from all over the world. And the Cardinal said to us, “You are special guest on this tour. You’re not the support act.”

With a band like Ghost, I can imagine the touring life is quite the experience. Did you have a chance to interact with those guys much beyond the stage?

Not really, they play a nearly three-hour long set and they take it seriously, as you should. We did have a couple of record hunting trips with the Cardinal that were very pleasant. He is a real vinyl buff, so we raided some shops here and there.

I can only imagine how these raids go about. What's your best find this tour?

The first Steamhammer record. First press on Brain €50. I gave it to the Cardinal after the last show, since we really wanted it, too. He got it as a gift from me, saying thanks for a great tour.

Since you’re a record collector and a fan of old school metal, are there any new bands you’re into that you think everyone should check out?

I haven’t bought a record with a new band for several years. I have no clue what’s going on in the metal world anymore. I just buy old albums. Seems like they knew how to write songs back then. Lost art, unfortunately. Is Blood Ceremony considered to be a “new” band? They are pretty good, I think.

Do you have future plans for the band or will you be shifting focus to side projects like Doomsday Kingdom, Krux, or others?

We just released a new Candlemass album and the schedule for this year is already full, so I won’t have any time, this year anyway, to do anything other than C-mass.

True, your calendar is swelling with the Ghost tour and some festival appearances in the summer. Are there any shows you’re especially looking forward to?

Yes: Sweden Rock, Hellfest, Wacken and, well, all of them! (laughs)

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

#D&S Interviews #Candlemass #Stockholm #Sweden #Doom #Epic Doom #Metal #Leif Edling #D&S Reviews #Magnus Tannergren #Napalm Records

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ducklettwrites · 6 years

Text

“Riddikulus”

(Author’s Note: Yesterday got really busy for me, and I was unable to complete the au fic for day 2. So I combined days 2 and 3 to give you all a lovely hurt/comfort fic starring the wizarding world au that I’ve had mostly written for a year but have been sitting on it because I’m too nervous to post anything from it until now.)

Now available on ao3.

Days 2&3-7 Pyro/Medic Week: Au and Affection “Riddikulus”

Summary: Scout had been the first to notice the boggart, and alerted everyone to its presence by screaming. Upon further investigation, it was determined the entity was still on base somewhere, and that the mercenaries would split up to find it. Pyro had agreed to go to the garage to look, and found the creature.

Rating: T (Death mention, scenes describing hydrophobia)

They were drowning. Water clinging to their flame proof robes and pulling them down further to the bottom. They struggled against its pull, but it only proved futile as the air became harder to breath and their arms became tired too tired to push their body to the surface. With hopelessness settling in their heart, they felt themselves sink down. So this is how it would end? A brilliant wizard, a powerful mercenary, lost to a pool of water. The despair dug deeper as they wondered what would happen next. Who would truly miss them? They closed their eyes, thinking of the one person they wanted to see more than anyone else, just one last time. As if seemingly sucked into another world, they caught a glimpse of the doctor, bursting through the door. His white lab coat brushed against the floor, swaying as he rushed in. He stood in an erect manner, his face unflinching and full of certainty. As they felt their body give its last, the only thought that spun in their mind was one of regret. “I never told him.”

“Riddikulus!”

In an instant, Pyro became aware of the room around them. The pool of water they had struggled and gave up on ever leaving, was dried up. No, it never existed. Instead their eyes opened to the concrete garage of the base. They felt their face, their clothes, even the floor half expecting to find them soaked in water, but there was nothing of the sorts. They also became aware of another presence, who sat down next to them and sighed.

“It ran toward the living quarters, someone else vill have to take care of it.” Medic turned his attention to Pyro. “Where did you even find it?”

Pyro didn’t respond. Their memory was too fuzzy to recall exactly what it even was. Everything was a blur. In it a flash their memory cleared. Scout had been the first to notice the boggart, and alerted everyone to its presence by screaming (which he would later claim was only a natural response to a boggart, and not indicative of his bravery or lack thereof). Upon further investigation, it was determined the entity was still on base somewhere (just no longer in Scout’s room), and that the mercenaries would split up to find it. Pyro had agreed to go to the garage to look, and found the creature.

“Under the truck.” they mumbled.

Medic nodded, knowingly. “Well, according to all known study on boggarts, they do prefer darker places.” He paused. “Are you okay, Pyro?”

Pyro offered no response.

“I came in and saw you gasping on the floor. Even when it caught sight of me and changed, you didn’t move.”

Silence.

“If it helps, I can tell you what the boggart looked like to me. Everyone’s is different, you know.”

Nothing.

“It was a corpse.”

Pyro turned slowly to face Medic.

“My corpse. It sounds so selfish of me to say.” he attempted to laugh, but it was a hollow attempt, too lackluster to be genuine. “Burned to a crisp, hardly recognizable.”

“Why burnt?” Pyro’s voice appeared to shake the German out of the trance like state he was in.

“Oh, it changes every now and then.” he tried to smile and wave off the detail, stopping midway to look over at Pyro’s face. The dark cloak, and gas mask made their expression unreadable. Yet Medic could swear he almost felt a twinge of something genuinely concerned underneath the layers of fabric and rubber. “Perhaps I fear death at the hands of a friend.” He pondered aloud. “Someone so certain I could trust, and the the utter betrayal I would feel.”

Pyro didn’t have to guess twice on who the doctor was talking about. Fire was their thing. It was how they were able to escape and survive. It was why Mann co. was so interested in them in the first place. However, the feeling of their fire being the source of fear for someone they held so close. It sickened them. Pyro looked down, they couldn’t meet Medic’s eyes knowing they had contributed to his fear. “You know I would never do that to you.”

Medic smiled, only slightly more convincingly this time. “Oh, I know. It’s silly, honest to god, just a dumb silly fear of death.” He tried to brush it off again. “Now, the lack of screams tells me that the others have not had good luck in their search and we should return to them.” He tried to stand up, but was surprised when Pyro grabbed his arm.

“I would never do that, because” Pyro paused, there was no going back after this “I would never do that, because I love you.”

Medic froze, speechless. He looked at Pyro’s face and tried to read what they were thinking behind the mask. The glass lens of the gas mask, normally unreadable, was unable to hide the vulnerability of the wearer. This exchange of looks could have lasted half a second, a second, or maybe a minute, but it felt like an hour. Finally, he felt his voice return. “I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think-”

He stopped when Pyro began to release their grip. In a split second, he pulled the wizard’s body closer to him, and wrapped his arms around them. “I didn’t think, you felt the same.” he whispered in their ear.

Pyro’s surprise at being pulled into the embrace was only topped by the revelation of reciprocated feelings. They melted into Medic’s arms and squeezed as tight as they could. Medic, in response, rubbed his hand soothingly over their back. This moment of pure bliss could’ve lasted for eternity.

“Hey guys! Don’t worry I got it!” Scout’s obnoxiously loud voice shook the two back into the real world. “It’s all taken care of!”

“Taken care of? I’d hardly say that considering ya screamed like a wee bairn at the sight of it!” Demo’s equally loud voice boomed in response.

“Hey in my defence, clowns are really freakin’ scary!”

“An’ Sniper was the one who had to pen it up, while ya cowered in a corner!”

Medic and Pyro both couldn’t help but chuckle. Still holding on to each other, they stood up and walked back toward the inside of the base with a new found trust in each other. For the first real time, they felt completely untouchable by fear.

#pyromedic week #tf2 #team fortress two #tf2 pyro #tf2 medic #oh and scout and demo are kinda in it for a bit

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katelides · 6 years

Text

Bechloe Week Day 3:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13011277/1/Bechloe-Week-2018

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15404181/chapters/35751621

Bechloe Week Day 3: Drunk Texting

It’s Friday evening which means that everyone is preparing to go out, in the Bellas house. Everyone, except for one person... Beca Mitchell. The brunette had just walked into the chaos that she had grown used to over the course of 4 years. She easily dodges a shoe flying towards her and absentmindedly waving up to Lilly who as usual is hanging upside down from the ceiling.

She quietly makes her way into the kitchen and opens up the fridge and takes out a pre-prepared plate made specially for her by Chloe. They still had a few weeks left until graduation and had returned a week ago from their retreat. Things were going extremely well between all of them and the girls all made sure to give Beca space after her shifts at Residual Heat, especially since she got a raise after the amazing demo she made with Emily.

Usually everyone would cook for themselves yet Chloe couldn’t bare seeing a tired Beca coming home, not having food ready for her. Maybe it had something to do with the feeling she has for her but who can really tell. Beca doesn’t notice Chloe walk up behind her as she was heating up the pasta that Chloe had made for her. So it’s no surprise that she slightly jumps up when the redhead taps her on the shoulder.

“Dude!” Beca screeches, which makes Chloe laugh. “Not funny Chlo, you scared the hell out of me.” The redhead holds her hands up. “Sorry Becs, I just wanted to know if you were going to join us for a night out?” Beca shakes her head. “I’m sorry Chlo but I need to work on the setlist of the Worlds so we can put the final touches on the choreo and music on Sunday. My boss wants me to work on another demo for a big client as well and I need to study for my finals.”

The brunette is slight out of breath by the time she finishes her tiny rant because she was speaking so fast. “Whoa Becs relax, it’s ok, I totes understand. Don’t worry, I was just asking because...” The redhead trails off slightly. “Because what Chlo?” Chloe bites her lower lip in a way that makes Beca’s insides churn. “Because I miss spending time with you?” Beca smiles gently at her best friend and opens up her arms, inviting Chloe in for a hug. “I miss spending time with you as well, I promise I’ll hang out with you tomorrow while you’re recovering from your hangover.”

Of course Chloe doesn’t pass up an opportunity to hug the brunette. She smiles into the crook of Beca’s neck. “I though you were hanging out with Jesse?” Chloe suddenly remembers. “Uhmm...” Beca thinks about the issue at hand but shrugs soon after. “I saw him yesterday, and I can always tell him I need to discuss the worlds with you.” No matter how much she would like to, Beca would never admit that she‘d rather spend time with Chloe than her own boyfriend.

Chloe raises her brow to question her best friend but doesn’t actually get a chance. “Really Chloe, I want to spend more time with you as well, and Jesse is moving to LA anyway next week so we’ll see how things go anyway. I mean we’ll have to get used to not seeing each other every day at some point, right?” The redhead is a little bit surprised at the unfazed tone Beca was speaking in. If it was her boyfriend leaving she would be devastated but still, Beca always wanted to go to LA so probably she would go up there after graduation and worlds.

“Do you need my help picking out an outfit or will you just show me when you’re ready?” Chloe thinks about it and shakes her head. “Why don’t you come up when you finish your dinner? I’ll have some outfits ready and you can help me pick the best one out.” Beca rolls her eyes playfully. “I’ll eat when you guys leave. Lets get you ready for tonight.”

Over an hour later all of the the Bellas minus Beca had gone out, leaving the brunette to work on her things. They had no idea how much Beca actually needs this time alone. Her entire life has been turned upside down in only one afternoon. She had wanted to to talk to Chloe about it but chickened out in the last minute. If Chloe had only know about the huge fight the brunette had had with her boyfriend... ex-boyfriend about her moving to New York instead of LA after graduation she would have never gone out with the rest of the girls.

-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-

Beca is sitting at her desk working on the setlist, completely oblivious to what time it is. To her it seems like only one hour had passed yet it had been at least 3 since the girls had left. So it’s no surprise the girl jumps up when she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. She sees that she has a new text from Chloe. She can’t help the laugh escaping her when she reads her best friend’s text.

[From] CHLOE - 1.24 AM

Yoyre the sweetestest candythin in aall of theuniverse.... sprincles odf sugar on m tastrs

[From] BECA - 1.25 AM

Chloe, are you drunk?

It’s a stupid question but Beca can’t help it, she’s going to tease her friend for a very long time after this.

[From] CHLOE - 1.27 AM

Would you arrest me ref I wass?

[From] BECA - 1.28 AM

No m’am

[From] CHLOE - 1.29 AM

U arw so pollite

[From] BECA - 1.30 AM

Do you need me to pick you up?

[From] CHLOE - 1.33 AM

Te Grllsss say your a partypapr but I need u

[From] BECA - 1.34 AM

I’ll be there in 10 minutes, please be careful until I get there

[From] CHLOE - 1.36 AM

Yaaayyy my bay is cominn for me

Beca decides to ignore the last text and hurries out of the house with just her phone, an extra sweater for Chloe and the keys to Chloe’s car. The redhead is the only one that owns a car and Beca is the only one allowed to drive it. No one really knows why but Fat Amy is still very adamant on it being because Chloe and Beca have huge toners for each other. Yet neither Beca nor Chloe will ever admit to it, out loud.

While driving she receives some more texts from the redhead but none of them are supposed to be sent to her.

[From] CHLOE - 1.38 Beeee Bex is thz best! she is pikin me up

[From] CHLOE - 1.41

I looove her so mach bu she can nevr knooo.. she hot nd I want hr as myy girlfrend stupidd jessse stole myy gril! ned her and scrad to lose her

The brunette reads the texts and smiles to herself. Maybe there is hope for the two of them in the future, especially if the brunette would accept the idea of moving to New York with her.

When Beca arrives Chloe is already outside but not alone. She doesn’t like the looks of the guy trying to kiss Chloe. The redhead is trying to get the guy off of her by putting her arms out and pushing the guy away but the redhead isn’t nearly sober nor strong enough to actually achieve it. So Beca doesn’t hesitate to jump out of the car and pull the guy of off her friend. “Try that again and I’ll break your legs.” The guy drunkly stumbles away, not really understanding what just happened.

“Myyyy safiorrrr.” Chloe slurs as she falls with her full weight into Beca’s arms. “Hey Chlo...” BEca huffs out when she catches the extra weight. “... you good to go home?” The brunette asks as she manages to pull her friend towards the car. “Wiiii my char ya wow how yiou get heere?” Beca chuckles at her best friend’s behaviour and gently manages to sit her down in the car a strap her in. It’s only when Beca is 100% sure that Chloe is safe, that she walks to the other side of the car and gets in herself. She checks on Chloe one more time before starting to drive.

-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-

Chloe wakes up in the morning with a huge head ache and a mouth as dry as the desert. The redhead is confused because she doesn’t understand where she is. She smells something familiar next her and kind of jumps up when she feels something move semi beneath her. She opens her eyes slightly and barely makes out the form of an other person.

Then it suddenly hits her. She sits up in a panic which in turn wakes up the person next to her. “Hmmm? W-what’s wrong?” Chloe instantly recognises the voice and groans at the throbbing headache. “Here, drink some water and and take some painkillers.” Beca says softly while holding out a glass and some pills. Chloe takes them and drinks everything. “Thank you.” She says in a hoarse tone. “That’s alright... uhm how about you lay down a bit longer and I’ll make you breakfast?” Beca offers gently. She only gets up when Chloe nods her head and lays back down.

When Beca returns she finds Chloe sitting up with her legs pulled up and a puzzled look on her face. “How are you feeling?” The brunette whispers, knowing the agony of a hangover headache. Yet the redhead stays quiet for a while, as if she hadn’t even heard her best friend. “Becs, did I do something stupid last night?” The question catches the brunette of guard as she remembers the text messages. “Uhhhmmm I think you should check your phone.”

Chloe raises her brow but does as told. The redhead groans as she re-reads her text messages from the previous night. She lets out a strangled cry when she finds out she sent messages that were supposed to be for Aubrey to Beca. “If you’re wondering if I’m freaked out about the messages, I’m not.” Chloe looks up from her phone, straight into Beca’s eyes. “I’m actually flattered.”

Beca carefully sits down on the edge of the bed, not daring to break eye contact with the other girl. “I mean reading that your best friend thinks you’re hot is kind of nice. But I do want to know why she never told me that she had feelings for me?” The brunette didn’t care about taking things slow at this particular moment. She needs to know wether Chloe really meant what she wrote.

“I uhm... I never told you because you are with Jesse and you seemed happy and I didn’t want to be that friend that ruins relationships.” Chloe lets her head hang low. “Well, at least now I know you really meant your promise last night.” Beca says with a shrug. “What promise?” Chloe asks as she snaps her head up. “You promised to move to New York with me because you can’t imagine living apart from me... And I’ll be honest with you, I can’t imagine living apart from you either.”

“But what about Jesse?” Chloe asks carefully, scared of the answer. “We broke up two days ago, when I told him I’ll be moving to New York because of the promotion I got.” Chloe gasps at the new information. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Beca shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know, I guess I always knew that Jesse and I weren’t meant to be. There’s someone else who is my happy ending, and maybe in the future I’ll have the guts to actually ask her out.”

Chloe chuckles and rolls her eyes, regretting doing that almost instantly. “Maybe once you get settled in New York she’ll accept that date.” Chloe says with a grimace thanks to her pounding head. “I guess that’s a great idea but now I want to cure my best friend from her hangover with a nice breakfast.” Beca points at the pancakes on the bedside table. The two girls dive into the breakfast. Not knowing that in a few months they would be moving to New York with Fat Amy, barely having a chance to do anything about their rapidly growing frustrations as they have to share a bed.

#fanfic #fanfiction #bechloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #beca and chloe #bechloe week day 3 #bechloeweek #bechloe week

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weekinethereum · 5 years

Text

December 14, 2018 Week in Ethereum News

News and Links

Layer 1

[Eth 2] Danny Ryan’s state of the spec

[Eth 2] Latest Eth 2 implementers call. Agenda to follow along.

[Eth 2] What’s New in Eth2

[Eth 2] Latest Prysmatic dev update

[Eth 2] Lighthouse dev update

[Eth 2] Coindesk profiles the teams building Eth2

[ewasm] Latest Ewasm call.

[1 -> 2] When stable, the beacon chain to finalize the POW chain

[Eth1] State Rent proposal update

[Eth1] How types of contracts would handle contract state-root-plus-witness architecture

NEAR: Unsolved problems in blockchain sharding

Boneh, Bünz, Fisch: Batching Techniques for Accumulators for stateless chains

Justin Drake Ethereum 3.0 tweet

Layer 2

Storj is planning to use Raiden for its payments. Raiden v0.19

Building MixEth as a state channel dapp with Counterfactual

Celer’s team to play their state channel Gomoku game for real Eth

gas payment abstraction in layer 2

prime numbers to transactions instead of coins?

should fraudulent exit bonds be partially burned?

Demo snark for Plasma Cash and Cashflow history compaction

SKALE releases architecture of their sidechain network

Stuff for developers

Ethereum on ARM. Constantinople-ready images

registry-builder: A modular approach to building TCRs from LevelK

7 uses cases with 3box.js

Gnosis Apollo to create your own prediction market interface or tournament

Schedule your token transfers on MyCrypto using Ethereum Alarm Clock

BudgetBox from Colony. Binary choices turned into budget percentages, and can be done onchain. Github

web3j v4.1 for Android

You can now integrate Gitcoin’s Kudos into your app. Gitcoin also hit 500k in issues.

A quick Austin Griffith tutorial on Commit/Reveal

Matt Tyndall’s counterfactual loan repayment for Dharma

Linkdrops: let people send crypto embedded in URLs without gas/wallets

Panoramix decompiler using symbolic execution instead of static analysis

Streamr’s cold chain monitoring tutorial

Dennis Peterson: Spam protection with probabilistic payments and cheap doublespending protection

How to debug with Tenderly and Truffle

A teaser for Harvey fuzzer from ConsenSys Diligence

Automated Eth code exploiter and similar how to scan and steal ETH

Hard fork enabled client releases

Geth v1.8.20 - hard fork enabled, Puppeth improvements, etc

Parity Ethereum 2.2.5-beta and Parity Ethereum 2.1.10-stable hardfork enabled

Trinity v0.1.0-alpha.20 Constantinople support and genesis file support

Ecosystem

Opera releases native Eth wallet and dapp browser for Android. Download. Slick and well worth checking out.

How I learned Solidity basics for free as a noob dev

Uncle rate keeps falling. Time to start nudging up the gaslimit?

Monetary policy chart of historic and future Ether issuance

All the impressive ETHSingapore submissions and winners. Some of Josh Stark’s favorites.

A comparison of ETHSanFrancisco and EOS SF hackathons

Ethereum product management interviews. Also, video of Eth PMs call

Alethio’s EthStats block explorer

Ecosystem job listings

Web3Foundation, Validity Labs and Status working on Whisper alternative

Live on mainnet

OriginTrail: data exchange in supply chains protocol

Enterprise

Quorum v2.2.0

Cheddar suggests Facebook wants to do its own basechain and is recruiting

Why Enterprise Ethereum is way more than DLT

See OriginTrail above

Governance and Standards

ProgPOW testnet block explorer

A quick case study on Aragon’s AGP1 proposal

Evolution of a security token standard

ERC1643: Document Management Standard

ERC1644: Controller Token Operation Standard

ERC1666: Decentralized Autonomous Zero-identity Protocol

ERC1613: Gas stations network

Application layer

Cellarius first anthology released. Free to MetaMask users.

Golem’s Graphene-ng demo part2

XYO Network to launch satellite named EtherX on SpaceX’s Falcon9 in next few months

Data auditing and repair with Storj

The Fluidity stack to allow liquid secondary markets

Vitalik tweetstorm on non-financial apps

Onchain mutual insurance to return insurance to its origin: communities sharing risk

p2p loan offers on Bloqboard using Dharma

Ujo Portal out of beta and in version1.

KyberNetwork’s monthly update - new reserves, wBTC updated

Liquality offers crosschain swap of testnet Eth for Bitcoin. You can also get a good price buying Eth with Summa’s crosschain swap

GnosisSafe users can pay gas fees in OWL.

Maker proposal to reduce stability fee from 2.5% to 0.5%. Vote Dec 17

Augur’s controversial US House elections market has been reported as Republican. This is obviously nonsense because no one would have bet on that market and it makes no sense to encourage wordsmith trickery. This is a huge test of Augur and will be interesting to watch. Also, v1.8.4 out with new node endpoint. And a nice Augur 2018 review from Guesser

Interviews, Podcasts, Videos, Talks

All Devcon4 videos and photos

Arthur Falls uploads some Joe Lubin Devcon3 video footage

Video: a Wolfram language platform for Ethereum

Zero Knowledge ETHSingapore episode

Open Block Explorers community call

Blockchain Insider with Vitalik Buterin

Grid+ Alex Miller and Karl Kreder on Hashing It Out

Prysmatic’s Preston Van Loon and Raul Jordan on Into the Ether

Andrew Keys talks ConsenSys2.0 with Laura Shin

Tokens / Business / Regulation

Chris Burniske argues Ether and Bitcoin prices are undervalued based on fundamentals

4 eras of blockchain computing: degrees of composability from Jesse Walden

CFTC requests input. EthHub and Brooklyn Project are both crowd sourcing responses

Basecoin/Basis quits after raising ~130m and returns money to its VCs, blaming the SEC. I feel there may be more to come with this story.

MythX (formerly Mythril) decides against its announced token

Don’t think there was any doubt, but Coinbase is listing tokens. 30 assets up for consideration

Bonding curve intuition and parameterization

Harberger taxes in action on r/ethtrader banners

Simon de la Rouviere: Desire paths and recommendation markets

General

Zero-Knowledge Proofs Starter Pack

Support starving Venezuelans by buying NFT Christmas cards through Giveth. Easy onboarding for your non-crypto friends.

Results of Bounties Network paying local to participate in Manila Bay beach cleanup. Some interesting UX lessons.

Terra-Bridge: Transfer between Ethereum and Bitcoin protocol

CMEGroup puts up an Intro to Ether course

Zilliqa testnet v3 is live and in feature freeze ahead of January mainnet release. It also got an AWS case study

Boerse Stuttgart and SolarisBank say in next 6 months they’ll launch crypto trading platform in Europe

The state of Surveillance Capitalism is dire: your apps are tracking your location and selling it. It’s very easy to figure out who you are from your location. Bring on web3!

Dates of Note

Upcoming dates of note (new in bold):

Dec 17 - vote to reduce Maker stability fee

Jan 10 - Mobi Grand Challenge hackathon ends

Jan ~15 - Constantinople hard fork at block 7080000

Jan 29-30 - AraCon (Berlin)

Feb 7-8 - Melonport’s M1 conf (Zug)

Feb 15-17 - ETHDenver hackathon (ETHGlobal) next hacker application round closes December 31st

Feb 23-25 - EthAustin hackathon (EthUniversal)

Mar 4 - Ethereum Magicians (Paris)

Mar 5-7 - EthCC (Paris)

Mar 27 - Infura end of legacy key support (Jan 23 begins Project ID prioritization)

Apr 19-21 - ETHCapetown

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#ethereum #crypto #Cryptocurrency #bitcoin #Web3

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