Their so silly there's totally nothing wrong with them-

A Joe Burrow Story...

A/Note: My first RPF, well the first I've published. I normally write Marvel (Steve, Bucky, Sam) but decided to try my hand at something a little different.

I hope you like it, if you do, please like, reblog and leave me some feedback (kindly would be appreciated..)

Fic inspired by @burreaux-drys - thank you for your amazing writing, even if it is "all over the place"

I do not own the characters in this story except the OFC/OC characters mentioned.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, translated or in any other way taken/stolen.

Characters: Joe Burrow; OFC!Reader; OC!Readers Best Friend; Mentions of other Bengal players; OC Bengal team members (kind of)

Warnings: Mentions of stalking; Shy reader; Police; that's about it except Joe Burrow I think deserves his own warning (in a good way); Not Beta'd so any mistakes are my own

W/C: 2748

Reader’s pov

I watched the players on the field, easily singling out the one I’d come to see.  It really wasn’t that difficult, he stood out with his mop of dirty blonde hair and the number 9 on his jersey.

My eyes roved down his body to his slim but manly hips and back up again to his broad shoulders, made even broader by the padding in his practice uniform.

He was looking good, but again, he always did, especially to me.  I’ve been in love with him for a while, always from afar, and he had no idea.  Maybe today would be the day I’d get up enough gumption to actually tell him.

This was a closed practice, but that never stopped me before.  There were plenty of ways to sneak into Paycor stadium, even when it was on lockdown, if you knew what you were doing.  And I did.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I took my attention away from practice to check.

BFF: Where are you? I’m at your place

Me: Oh, I’m out running errands, sorry.

BFF: Tell the truth, you’re at practice ogling J again aren’t you?

Me: Maybe.. Maybe not.. I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation

BFF: Well then, I’ll join you, I need to see me some Sam.

Me: It’s almost over and it’s a closed practice today, so you won’t be able to get in.

BFF: Closed practice?

BFF: They don’t let anyone into closed practices, how did.. You know what, I dno’t want to know.  Let me know when you’re home. Unless you and J are doing something after practice

Me: Will do. Love you xx

BFF: Love you too xx

As you slipped your phone back into your pocket you realised that practice was over for the day.  You slunk back into the shadows as a couple of the players and officials looked up towards where you had been sitting.  Regardless of anything else, you shouldn’t have been there and you didn’t really want to get caught and banned.

Making your way back to your car you see a line of fans waiting for the players to come out of training.  You chuckle to yourself that they clearly don’t know the tricks that you did.

For a moment you contemplate joining them, you have something you want to give to Joe, but decide maybe next time would be a better option and you jump into the car and head home.

Later that day.. Back at Paycor Stadium - Joe’s pov

I have a stalker.  There’s no getting around it any more.

I’m sitting in Coach’s office with the cops and Zac, admitting for the first time that somebody is stalking me.  I knew it all along really, but just didn’t want to admit the ’s’ word to myself.  I figured it was just an overzealous fan and that it would be ok.

Things were left on my car at training, when I was at the gym, even when I was at the grocery store but today, I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

After practice I signed some autographs and took some pictures with the fans who’d j for me.  I love my fans and I love interacting with them - for the most part.  Every fan group has those ones who are a bit.. umm, crazier than others.  Fans that would do anything to get closer to their idols.  Not that I consider myself an idol, but I know with my position and public persona, that I’m as much a likely target for the crazies as anyone else.

“So, Joe” the Detective said “Tell us exactly what happened today to make you finally call us”

“Well, I left training and headed to the grocery store.  While I was there, I took a couple of pictures with some fans, nothing major.  When I came out to my car, there were flowers on the hood and something under the windscreen wipers.”

“And this is what was under the wipers?” The Detective asked, holding up the piece of paper that had been on my window.

I nodded, and continued.  “I didn’t really think a lot of it, I just grabbed the flowers and the note and tossed them into the front seat.  Once I got home though, I wasn’t quite so sure this was an innocent interaction.”

“And why do you say that?  Joe, if we are going to find this and make sure nothing happens, we need every piece of information you have.”

“Of course detective.  Well, I got home and parked in my garage and as I got out of the car, something just felt off.  The door between the garage and the house was open but I swear I closed it before I left.  I kinda shrugged it off at first, thinking maybe my Mum had been around, or the cleaner had come even though they weren’t due for a couple of days.”

“But that wasn’t the case?”

“Well, no, once I got inside I realised some things had been moved around and then I saw the note on my kitchen bench.”

“And this is the note you found inside your house?”

I couldn’t bring myself to look at it or read it again so I just nodded and looked down at my hands in my lap.

“Joe, we need to get ahead of this” Coach said. “Detective, do you think we should do a press conference and alert the public to keep an eye out?  I’m sure this person has been around training/practice and the stadium, probably coming to game days when we play here.”

“Let’s just wait it out for now, we don’t want to scare the stalker off and not be able to find them, or worse, have them escalate their behaviour into something dangerous.”

I feel like all I can do is nod, once again.  I just never pictured myself in this situation.

There was a knock on Zac’s office door and one of the admin staff came in with a folder and handed it to Zac, whispering something to him.  I saw his eyes go wide and then he looked down at the folder.

“Ummm, detective, we may have some more information that could shed some light on this case.  We video every practice/training session and these are some stills from today’s practice that might be very interesting.”

Zac hands the folder to the detective as I sit up a bit straighter in my chair, curious about what they could have found from today’s video, given it was a closed practice, meaning nobody was able to come in and watch.

The detective opened the folder and examined the pictures closely and then handed them to me.

“What am I looking at?” I asked.

“Apparently someone was in the bleachers today during practice.  Detective, this was a closed practice today which means that this person has snuck in and possibly could be the person you are looking for.”

I peered closer at the photos.  They were grainy, a bit blurry, you couldn’t really see who it was.  It did look like a female but who could really tell.  I’m sure the police had ways of making the image a bit sharper and maybe getting some identifying details.

The police thanked Zac and I and made their way out with suggestions to beef up my security at home and at the stadium and to also be very aware of my surroundings at all times.  They didn’t think, if this person who snuck into practice today was my stalker that they posed too much danger, but you never know.

I sat for a bit longer with Zac, talking out what was happening because the only other people I could talk to at the moment were my family and my teammates and I didn’t really want to worry either group until we knew more.

On the way home, I rang my security company who agreed to schedule more regular patrols around and near my place and also to ramp up the security footage around the outside of my home.

I hated that I have to do this but I guess my safety should be number one to me and I know my Mum would kill me if she knew about this and I didn’t take these extra precautions.  It all just felt so limiting.

1 week later - Reader’s pov

I haven’t been back to Paycor.  Almost getting caught in the stadium made me back off a little bit, I didn’t want to get into trouble and be banned from practice or games in general.

I’d been following Joe and the Bengals activity on social media but it just felt so impersonal, that I was itching to get back to practice.  Actually Joe didn’t seem very active on socials the past week and most of the Bengals feed had focused on Tee, Sam and a few of the other players.  All great players but Joe was their franchise player, the top QB in the league and they should be showcasing him whenever they can.

It made me wonder what had happened in the last week.  

After I left training I headed to the grocery store to get some supplies, as my best friend was coming over after work that night for a movie night.  As I was leaving I saw Joe entering the store.  I knew he shopped here but I had never actually run into him and I just smiled at him as I walked out of the store to my car.

He has a very distinctive car and it was parked next to mine so I took a moment to admire it before I loaded my bags into the back seat and headed home again.

Later that night when my friend arrived she had some very interesting news.

“Girl, Joe Burrow has a stalker!”

“What?  I mean, how do you know this?”

“I heard some of the detectives at work today talking about it.  Apparently someone left some things on his car at the grocery store this afternoon and after he got home, someone had broken into his house and left him some kind of note - I don’t know what it said but they are beefing up security at his house.  This is huge.”

“Why haven’t they said anything about it though?”

“Well, they probably don’t want the person escalating to even more dangerous behaviour, although they may be too late for that if whoever it is has already been inside his actual house.”

That conversation has stayed with me, to be honest.  I couldn’t imagine how scared Joe must have been to go to the police about it all.

Today I was heading back to practice.  This one was open but I thought I’d stay in the background anyway, amongst the other fans and not up front like I usually try to be.  Fate, as it seemed, had other plans.

As practice was finishing, a surge in the people there pushed me towards the side of the crowd, closer to where the players exited the field.  As Joe walked past he looked at me and smiled and did a double take.  Did he recognise me?  Is he curious of who I am?

I decided to make a quiet retreat and wait outside for him and hopefully get the balls to talk to him, or give him the gift I had for him.

A few of the players dribbled out of the stadium towards their cars, all stopping to sign autographs and take pictures with the fans.  

Joe’s pov

I walked out of the stadium towards my car and it always fascinates me how many people stay after practice to talk to, take photos with and get autographs from the players.  I still struggle to understand that some of them are here exclusively to see me.  

Given recent events however, it makes me more cautious as well, and I hate that because I love giving back to my fans.

As I went along the line of fans, I saw one at the back who looked kind of familiar.  I waved her over and said “Do I know you, you look very familiar?”

“Oh, umm, you don’t know me” she said quite shyly. “We bumped into each other at the grocery store last week.”

“Oh yeah, well it’s nice to meet you, did you want a picture?”

“Uh, sure” she replied and got her phone out.

We took a couple of selfies and then she quietly said “I have something for you” and as she reached into her bag I got really nervous.  Maybe this was my stalker.  Now that I think of it, she’s at training a lot, and yes I did see her at my grocery store just before that stuff was on my car.

I nervously looked around for security and mumbled some excuse about forgetting something and sprinted back into the stadium and straight to Zac’s office.

Reader’s pov

I can’t believe it, I finally got the time, opportunity and guts to talk to Joe and he ran off.  I started to put the drawing I’d done of him back in my backpack when I looked up and saw security coming towards me.

I quickly walked towards my car and managed to get in and drive away before they got to me.  I hope they didn’t catch my licence plate and haul me in for questioning.  Just my luck I’d get in trouble because of an innocent meeting at the grocery store.

Maybe this was my sign to just find a new hobby?

Another week later - Joe’s pov

Once again, I’m sitting in Coach’s office with the detectives who this time have some good news.

“We’ve made an arrest” the detective told us.

I breathed a sigh of relief that this was over “That was quick, how did you get a break so fast?”

“Well, it all came down to the fans.  Those at practice helped us out with some info, and your observations also  gave us some insight.  We tracked the person down and an arrest was made this morning.  We have some pretty tight proof, so you may not even have to testify, but if you do, we can probably put them away for a few years.  At the least, you can get a restraining order that prevents them from coming near your house, or the stadium, or generally within about 500metres of wherever you are.”

“Thanks detective, I'm so relieved” I said.  “Did they happen to say why they did it?”

“Just a big fan, a bit lonely and wanted to be closer to you but just went about it the wrong way.  Kinda feel sorry for them, but you know, we can’t let emotion into it, otherwise we’d never catch anyone.”

“Well, thanks again detective” Zac said “We are more than grateful for your speedy resolution to this issue.”

1 year later - Reader’s pov

I walked into the lounge room and smiled, I couldn’t believe I was here.  The misunderstanding from 12 months ago led to a beautiful friendship between me and Joe.  I got over all my nerves with him and we were now able to laugh and joke about the situation.

The police did clock my licence plate that day at training, and they did come to my house and question me about the stalking.  I didn’t hold anything against Joe for thinking it could be me, I was awkward and nervous and shy whenever he was around and he obviously just didn’t see my vulnerability.

But at the next training session, he saw me again and came to talk to me.  He asked me if he and I could have a conversation over coffee, so we went and he told me they’d arrested his stalker and he apologised profusely for thinking it could be me.

He said that when I’d told him I had something for him and reached into my bag, he freaked out and just left.

I laughed and told him that I’d drawn him a picture and I’d love for him to have it if he wanted it.

We chatted for a while longer and then went separate ways.  We’d swapped numbers so that I could arrange to give him the picture and we ended up texting back and forth most days.

I’m not sure if anything will come of this but a good friendship but you never know…

Neighbor Next Door- Stephen Strange/Female OC

18+ | minors please DNI

Summary: anna had always thought the doctor next door was attractive. and one interaction left her itching to get more of him.

Tags: age gap (25F & 40M), cheating (but not in the way you’d think), strong language, smut.

Additional characters (updated): Christine Palmer, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Marc Spector

Chapter 8: Decision

back home, stephen couldn't stop thinking about anna. anna had made this feel so much easier and now he'd ended it. but it was for her own good. he had to be the smart one here. the way she got mad over christine's picture and the way she reacted to her mentions today. he wasn't sure she was actually ready for something casual.

he just didn't know where this would go. he had to leave christine, he knew it. so what was he waiting for? christine's behaviour after she got caught cheating again was less than ideal. she was fussy, throwing tantrums and then begging for forgiveness. he could tell she wasn't really remorseful, she just wanted to be forgiven so she could go back to feeling like she didn't have to be accountable for something.

he was starting to get the idea that christine didn't really care. so what was stopping him, really?

even if he continued this marriage, things like this would happen over and over again. the bottom line was, christine did not care. and that stung. but stephen had decided to give this another chance, which hadn't come easy at all. and yet, after all of this, she did not care at all.

stephen wiped the tears that were flowing freely down his face. he felt like he knew what he had to do.

this was such a big decision, and he felt like he could discuss it with absolute nobody. he didn’t think he could turn to sam anymore, after having hurt anna’s feelings.

so, stephen headed toward the bar, because where else could he possibly go? he figured at least alcohol would help ease his anxiety.

as he sat alone in his seat, several women came up to him, but he found himself dismissing all of them. he was in the mood for company, yes. but not sexual.

eventually, he got talking to a nice guy that sat beside him.

“i see you’re getting all the women here” he’d started. stephen raised his head and looked over at the guy. “and you want none of it. me? i’m desperately looking for a girl but no one will approach me.”

stephen laughed in response. “sorry, buddy.”

“call me marc” the man smiled, his eyes chocolate brown. “marc spector.”

from that point on, they got to talking. and although stephen hadn’t really talked about his problems, he already felt lighter. having someone that deviated his attention, and just having that companionship helped. he was invited to an event that was taking place this friday.

“that sounds like fun” he smiled as marc texted him the info. “i’ll head on there right after i meet with my possibly new divorce lawyer.”

marc laughed. “oh, man, you’re gonna have to tell me how that went.”

stephen and marc parted ways outside the bar and stephen felt a little lighter. he checked his phone as he got in a cab, his heart leaping as he saw a text from anna. miss you.

he sighed to himself, closing his eyes momentarily. he started to type out a response but stopped himself. stephen locked his phone and put it back in his pocket. it stung ignoring her. but it was the best choice. she was acting on her emotion, but he had to be better.

stephen decided to focus on what he had to do next, and that was, meeting with his lawyer and preparing for a possible divorce.

he had to focus on keeping himself busy, because if he didn’t, he knew he’d find himself going back to anna while he needed to be strong for the both of them.

***

thankfully, anna had found a way to distract herself as well.

“bitch, is that a fucking stripper pole?” wanda laughed the moment she stepped into her friend’s living room, looking up at the new pole sitting at the center.

“you’re pole dancing?” sam inquired as he closed the door behind him.

“yes, sir!” anna grinned. “oh, this is going to be so exciting! i finally get to live my full slut fantasy!”

“oh, you don’t live that everyday already?” sam snorted, catching a pillow being thrown at his face by anna.

“i’m a little rusty, so don’t judge me” anna murmured as she grabbed the pole, kneeling as she swung around it before extending her leg and placing it against the pole.

“you look good to me” wanda offered as she sat on the couch.

“oo flexible” sam grinned. “show us more.”

anna grinned and tried to climb up the pole but failed. “yeah, i definitely need some more work. what do you guys think i should wear?”

“oh, you’re planning on wearing something” sam laughed.

anna rolled her eyes, giggling. “there’s an idea!”

“god, please no” sam laughed. “i don’t have the money to bail you out.”

stephen was always at the back of anna’s head, but she had something else that demanded her focus, which she was truly thankful for.

work was fine, but the fact that this was a bit challenging demanded more of her energy, so she had less of it that was directed at stephen.

she did wish stephen could see her perform. she knew he’d be impressed. she’d love to perform for him. hell, she’d opt out of this performance and reserve it just for him if he asked. but he hadn’t even responded to her text.

it hurt, but then again, she knew why stephen was doing it. on one hand, it was heartwarming knowing that he was looking out for her. on the other, what if he was just done with her and this was just an act?

she thought about it every night before she eventually fell asleep.

maybe it was a good thing stephen had put a hold on this before it progressed, because this clearly mattered in a way that affected her so much.

but she didn’t want this to end. maybe in a fantasy world, stephen would leave christine and choose her. but the reality was far too complicated.

anna continued to fill her time with more practice and picking out her costume for her performance. a whole week later, approached the night before her performance, and she had a hard time sleeping. she was up early the next day to practice one last time before leaving to get to the venue and start getting dressed.

***

stephen had found it so hard to stay away from anna. he kept replaying their night together in his head. he wasn’t proud of himself when he pleasured himself to it. but that memory and some pictures were all he had left of anna. they were neighbors, so he would see her often and it would just worsen his longing.

what was a guy to do?

he couldn’t get his mind off of her.

which helped come to the decision he’d been putting off this entire time. the decision to divorce christine.

he wouldn’t be so hung up on someone else if he truly had love left for christine. it felt like he did. but he wasn’t fully invested anymore. he felt ready to end it. he had a lot of doubts for sure. but he had to choose himself above all of them.

stephen cleared his throat as he reached into his bag, bringing out the envelope.

christine hummed as she made her eggs, unaware of what was coming next.

stephen walked over. “christine, can we talk?”

she stopped, turning the stove off. she turned with hesitation, eyeing stephen and the envelope. he hadn’t addressed her directly in a long while now.

“christine, i..” he started, trying not to get emotional. but it was hard not to feel the sting of his tears, that were already forming. he’d just been hurt so much, over and over. “i’ve come to a decision about us-“

“stephen, baby-“

“please, don’t interrupt me christine” he met her eyes, his own glassy with tears. “let me talk. you’ve done all the talking on your end. i’ve listened to you, heard you out. and christine, you’ll never know how much you’ve hurt me. i gave you a second chance. but you constantly got mad at me for my insecurities that were still fresh from what YOU did. you always failed to see the hurt on my face when you threw all these harsh words my way.”

tears were streaming down christine’s face as she shook her head, lips quivering.

“and i realized that” stephen couldn’t help as the tears rolled down his cheeks as well, his voice cracking. “you don’t really care, christine. and i can’t make you care. even if i forgave you now, without that genuine concern you’re supposed to have for me, this relationship will never be what it was meant to be.”

he held back a sob as he reached his arm out, holding the envelope in front of her.

“just sign those papers” he left out a soft sob, his heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. “and you can sleep with whoever you want to.”

“stephen no, please don’t say that” christine let out a soft cry. “baby, i’m so sorry. i don’t know a life without you. please.”

stephen looked away, failing to hold back another sob. “please don’t make this hard, christine. i’ve made my decision.”

“baby no” christine cried, walking up to stephen and cupping his face, trying to get him to look at her but he refused. “stephen, i can’t.”

he looked over at her as he heard her voice break and she pulled him into a kiss.

stephen couldn’t break away. he cupped a hand over her hand, tasting the salty tears as he kissed her back.

and the reality settled in that this was probably the last time he’d ever kiss the woman he’d fallen so madly in love with. that this was it. so he kissed her a little longer than he’d intended, savouring the moment.

because this was it. it was over.

he eventually stepped back, leaving the envelope on the counter. “i’ve loved you for as long as i can remember. i can’t do this anymore. i’ll come back tomorrow for the papers.”

with that, he grabbed his keys and walked out of the apartment, wiping his tears.

***

stephen had not gone back for the papers the next day. he just didn’t feel ready. he knew christine would try to win him back again. and he could not deal with that. he didn’t want anything weighing on his mind for the event he was going to later tonight.

he had the day off and spent the entire day relaxing, something he hadn’t done in a long time.

he stayed in at his hotel, watching tv and getting some reading done.

he started to get dressed a little early for the event, putting on his armani suit, studying his reflection in the mirror as he worked with his tie.

marc had texted him, asking if he wanted to meet for drinks prior. since strange was all ready, he agreed and drove to marc’s place.

they didn’t drink much, each having just one cocktail. “so, what can i expect at this event?” stephen asked.

“didn’t you read the pamphlet?” marc asked. “absolutely everything. mostly extremely attractive women. and other attractive people.”

speaking of attractive people, stephen immediately thought of anna. he missed her and wished they were going together.

“so is it just a bunch of performances?”

“and food. there’ll be singing, dancing. and later, there will be an open dance floor and drinks.”

“so why are we drinking now?” stephen laughed.

“cause shit’s expensive.”

“right” stephen only laughed in response.

it was safe to say stephen had a lot of money. and he often forgot what it was like before he had all this money too. so sometimes, he was a little slow when it came to catching on to the way others did things.

he would have been living in a huge mansion if it was just up to him. but christine was more modest. she wanted to live in a smaller, cozier place and wanted a sense of community.

he’d argued that they could also find a cul de sac. but she was adamant on going back to the apartment she’d grown up in.

and in this moment he realized, he could actually have as big of a house as he wanted. it was time to start planning his new life.

***

stephen’s friend had gotten them the absolute front row seats. he hadn’t done something like this in a long time. he was excited to be in a company that wasn’t his co-workers or his wife, and in a setting where he could relax and enjoy himself.

there were all sorts of performances. singing, dancing, someone even did a stand up. and there didn’t seem to be a theme, or even much of any rules. there were a plenty sultry performances displayed mostly by women. however, the one that followed a particular band performance, it was something stephen was not expecting.

he was a little drunk by now. not drunk enough to lose his senses. but just enough to enjoy himself and possibly take someone home. but he knew he wouldn’t do that.

the lights began to come back on stage and he saw a dark figure, standing beside a pole, facing away, her back to the crowd and hip jutted out.

anticipating a pole dance, the crowd went nuts. stephen returned the smile marc flashed at him, studying the silhouette of her curves.

the song began but they still couldn’t see the person. she began to move her body slowly, turning to face the pole and circled it once, earning a cheer from the crowd.

“i guess she likes to be a bit of a tease” stephen found himself mumbling to marc who agreed with enthusiasm.

she did another round and when the song eventually increased in tempo, she stepped back on the ground, face facing the crowd as the lights came on.

stephen’s breath hitched as a smiling anna graced his eyes. she was dressed in a tight fitting, short dress that shimmered under the lights. the dress was low cut, in typical anna style. she looked out into the crowd before climbing back up on the pole.

when she turned and was practically upside down, the crowd lost their mind.

stephen was losing his mind too. but he couldn’t make a single sound. he just watched, his mouth slightly agape. he didn’t know anna could do all that.

he leaned forward, his eyes glued to her. it was definitely her. and it was blowing his mind.

he felt his pants grow tighter around his crotch as he watched anna throw her head back, practically writhing against the pole.

something about her being so…on display for everyone to see. seeing all the men cheer for her… he felt this weird sense of possessiveness he’d never felt toward her before.

he was almost jealous of how she put on a show for everyone.

like he wanted to reach out, draw the curtains and have it just be them. like he wanted to share this moment between just them, without the others.

but on the other hand, he felt proud. proud of all she was doing, proud that the crowd let her know exactly just how much her insane talent and skill was being appreciated.

this feeling was so weird, so new, and honestly, it was intoxicating.

he awkwardly crossed his hands and placed them in his lap to cover his crotch, his cheeks warming. but he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. he had the freedom to look at her all he wanted, which is something he didn’t always get. even when they had sex together, he held back a little. but right now, he could look as much as he wanted. he studied all her little features and it was like she’d never been more beautiful.

stephen also stood up and applauded her when the performance ended. she took a bow and the curtains closed.

“i have to see her” stephen breathed.

marc laughed. “yeah buddy, i doubt that’s gonna happen. they don’t really allow that, this is not a strip club.”

stephen cringed. “no, marc, i know her. she’s my neighbor. we’ve hung out before.”

“whoa, does your wife know?” he asked.

“well she cheated on me so it shouldn’t matter, but yes” stephen mumbled.

“i mean, you could have them ask her” marc said. “and if she lets you in. go ahead.”

stephen didn’t even stay for the next performance. he immediately made his way through the venue, approaching a woman standing by the stage.

…

a/n: happy new year everyone!! one of my favourite moments this past year has definitely been starting this fic and having all of you wonderful people read it and engage with it. thank you for all your support 💗 as always, let me know what you think, and also let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist! i added marc spector because i absolutely love moonknight and marc’s v hot ok byeeee

fic index: Neighbor Next Door

TAGLIST

@kentucky-criedfricken @sherlux @evelynrosestuff @thewinterpoet2 @lokislov3 @0p444ls @nabiiturner @withalittlehoney @lokiego @cemak @chocokitty @whore4sherlockholmes @thegardenerofeden @partiallyinfluencial @tupacswifey

Stockroom Antics - Chapter 19

Maria had changed jobs numerous times over the last five years, more to keep herself safe than anything else. Her mother had told her she was a fairy but she thought it was just her mom being weird. Honestly, though, she had no other way of explaining what had happened to her that stormy day before she'd gone into a coma for two weeks.

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will probably be 18+ I haven't decided yet!

Word Count: 2524

Pairing eventually Dean Winchester x OC

Warnings: Angst

A/N: This one's written a little differently than my last one. Let me know what you think. It's the first time I've tried this type of writing. Chapters will alternate viewpoints as well. I also looked into an actual area so this one could feel more realistic. This one is taking on a life of it's own in a turn I hadn't anticipated, so adding a new tag.

----------------------------------------- Stockroom Antics Chapter 19

When the dragon crawled into your lap, it helped you relax a little. Plus, it felt nice to see it come over to you instead of interacting with Dean.

You still weren’t sure why it bothered you as much as it did. This whole “getting to know each other” thing made you nervous. Yeah, you enjoyed being around people, making them smile and laugh, but somehow, this felt different. So, you were nervous. Pinpointing why you were nervous was still something you couldn’t quite figure out.

The idea of adding to their grocery list felt strange. You even debated helping to pay for some of the groceries, but for now, keep that to yourself. When Sam mentioned you just going with them to the store, the idea was appealing. Then you thought about the dragon and how that would work. Would it stay at the bunker? It wasn’t like you could take a dragon out in public, no matter how small it was. People would freak out.

It was fairly embarrassing to tell them personal things about you, like reading fanfics on Tumblr. The thought of the things you enjoyed reading on there made you blush slightly, and you just hoped neither of them noticed. Thankfully, though, at least Dean had focused on baking. Although you couldn’t list specific things, so you generalized. 

Why did he have to look so damned adorable when he smiled the way he did, you thought to yourself. And the way he chuckled made you want to smile. Then, every time he’d called you sweetheart, it made your heart flutter a little. You pushed it away, though, as best as you could. No point in getting attracted to him, even if you would be staying with them while they figured this whole thing out. You’d already convinced yourself that you were weird, especially after your accident and these two hunted monsters.

Finding out that Dean loved pie like he did gave you an idea. There weren’t many ways you could contribute or show your gratitude for what they were doing for you, so you decided to bake for them. It was simple enough, and it was something you loved doing. Now, with your powers increasing, it might even be easier.

Finally finding a little courage, you asked about the sigils. You understood Sam's reasoning; it made tons of sense. But what Dean said made you smile a little; you just couldn’t help it. Plus, he looked really, really good with how he leaned back in his chair. Again, you shook the image from your mind, trying to focus back on the conversation.

Watching the interactions between the brothers was adorable. The little things where they were different and how they would get playfully frustrated with each other made you giggle or laugh internally, though. Their laughter was pleasant. Laughter was something you’d been missing over the last few days. Sharing why you were nervous was more nerve-wracking than anything.

It wasn’t until Dean said you were their kind of weird that you finally began to truly relax and genuinely smile, even if it was small. The two full beers and now your third were also helping you relax more. The dragon stayed asleep in your lap the entire time; its presence alone helped you relax further.

A half-hour later, Sam was picking on his brother about books, “You’d rather watch something than read, and you miss all the little details. The books are far better,” Sam insisted.

Dean leaned forward in his chair, “I don’t need all those things. The show is fine, and I get the important stuff,” he argued.

“It depends on the book and the show. What one are you two arguing over?” you asked curiously. This was clearly something they’d argued over before.

“Game of Thrones. The books are far better,” Sam insisted.

“I’d still rather have the visuals,” Dean chuckled.

You did your best not to laugh at both of them, “I can understand both sides. Although, having read the books and watched the show, you do understand more than if you only do one or the other,” you told them, giggling a little before taking a sip of your beer.

“That’s a lot of books, Sweetheart. I’ll stick to the show,” Dean replied, and his playful smirk made you smile again.

“See, that’s what I mean. You just dismiss reading, so you’re missing out,” Sam argued, and you could tell it was playful.

“I’ll read all day, for a case, but if I can watch something, I’d rather do that,” Dean stated, attempting to end the conversation on the matter.

You couldn’t contain your laughter at that point. Both of them were adorable, and so was their brotherly bond. As the conversation continued, you shared a bit about yourself. Yeah, you were still a little nervous about it, but alcohol was called liquid courage for a reason, and it was helping greatly.

“So, how come you live in the house you do?” Dean finally asked you, sounding curious.

The question threw you off, and your smile faded, “It’s been my home for so long, I don’t know, I just didn’t know where else to go,” you answered a bit quietly. Part of you felt embarrassed about your home, especially after seeing how the brothers lived. 

“Why not use your powers? Change it up?” Dean asked her.

Sam looked between the two. He had only seen the outside, although you were pretty sure that Dean had told him how your home looked on the inside. “I didn’t want to bring attention to myself. Only having a part-time job, I wasn’t sure how I’d explain the changes to the few friends I had.” You tried not to sound embarrassed, but it came out anyway.

“Makes sense. What about your family, though? They know you have powers,” Dean asked.

You shrugged a little, “I like my job and the people I work with… but…” you began, then trailed off, looking down at your beer. “With the King of Hell after me, not sure there is a safe place anymore.” Your tone had gotten quiet as the realization hit you. Where could you go at this point? You didn’t want to endanger your family, so that was out.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you sad,” Dean told you softly, leaning a little further forward.

When you saw him slowly reaching his hand toward yours, you held onto your beer and leaned back in your seat, putting more distance between the two of you. You did notice how he sighed and leaned back, though.

“It’s just… I don’t want to put them or anyone in danger because of me,” you replied, sipping your beer.

“Well, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like,” Dean told you, making a smile play across your lips.

Part of you did miss your home, your friends at work, and the solitude your home had given you. However, you also began to enjoy being at the bunker with the brothers. You weren’t used to living with people and were still in the adjustment phase. With getting to know them more, you were hoping that things might feel less tense. After another half hour, your sides hurt from laughing so much. You couldn’t figure out how the dragon was sleeping through it all. Five beers was your limit, and you were on your fifth. Things were going amazing up until Sam said what he did about someone called Rowena. Your mood instantly tanked, excusing yourself to bed the moment you finished your beer.

You scooped up the sleeping dragon and made it to your room, only slightly wobbly on your feet. Once your door was closed, you set the dragon on the side of your bed and changed into pajamas. Climbing under the covers, you just sat there momentarily, wrapping your arms around your legs.

Could Rowena get into the bunker? Am I even safe here anymore? Am I putting the brothers in danger just by being here? Would the witch do the spell without consent? What would I even do if she did that?

Too many questions raced through your mind, even allowing a couple of tears to slip from your eyes. You wiped them away and turned off your lamp, then got comfortable on your side facing the sleeping dragon.

“I don’t want them to be in danger because of me,” you whispered, setting your hand on the dragon’s back.

An image of bubbles played in your mind. All kinds of different bubbles: soap bubbles, the kind that kids make with those bottles of bubbles from the store, bubbles in bodies of water, bubbles in a boiling pot of water, bubbles you make when you blow in a straw in chocolate milk. You furrowed your brow and looked at the sleeping dragon.

“Bubbles,” you said quietly, then rolled your eyes, remembering earlier. Dean had called her that after he’d given her bacon. If you weren’t as emotional as you were at the moment, you might have gone down a different thought path than the one that took over your mind. Anger hit you first, along with jealousy, all aimed at Dean. With all that had happened over the last week, you really weren’t thinking clearly; right now, anger was easier. The alcohol wasn’t helping either.

Bubbles shifted a bit in her sleep, stretching some and getting comfortable again, closer to you. You wanted to talk to Astaria again but at the same time, you didn’t. Then, you wanted to cry but didn’t do that either. The anger was easier to hold onto, almost making you feel grounded. 

Morning came far too soon. You hadn’t dreamt that night, and it was only after five in the morning, according to the clock on the night table. 

“Why can’t I just sleep in,” you grumbled just as Bubbles jumped on your chest, looking down at you like a happy puppy.

You giggled and began petting it, “What? Are you hungry?” you asked her, smiling a little.

You were still angry, but not like you were the night before. When Bubbles tilted her head, and you had an image of a forest come to your mind, you realized what she needed.

“Ohh, you need to go outside,” you said quietly, wondering if you could even do that.

Bubbles vigorously nodded her head, making you giggle again. “Can you use the toilet? I’m not sure I can take you outside or if it’s safe.”

She tilted her head as if she had no clue what you were talking about. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

You used your powers, changing into jeans, a tank top, and a red flannel, leaving it unbuttoned, then headed down the hall to the bathroom, Bubbles flying and keeping up with you. The idea of showing a dragon how to use a toilet had only come to mind due to funny cat videos you’d seen of cats using the bathroom. 

Bubbles watched you, her head tilted, and she looked puzzled and curious. You could barely stifle your laughter at the entire situation. When you finished, you flushed the toilet, then looked over at her as she was perched on the countertop.

“Your turn. Think you can attempt it?” you asked her.

She looked from you to the toilet and then back at you, making you giggle quietly, “Want me to wait outside?” She nodded, so you waited out in the hall, trying not to laugh. 

The toilet flushed moments later, and then the door opened. You glanced over as Bubbles hopped down off the counter and joined you in the hallway, “Feel better?” you asked, stifling another giggle.

Bubbles nodded, so you headed to the kitchen, figuring the brothers were still sleeping, with her flying alongside you. While the coffee brewed, you began writing out a list of items that you’d need for baking. You still wanted to do that, even if you were still feeling annoyed at Dean knowing your familiar's name before you did. 

When you got up to get a cup of coffee, Bubbles hopped onto the floor, went to the fridge, and looked at you. The word “food” came to mind, but you weren’t hungry, so you sat back down at the table, returning to the list you had been working on.

Bubbles got annoyed at your stubbornness, but you missed the dragon roll its eyes. She walked over to you and tugged on your jeans, causing you to look down at her. “What?” you asked her, having no clue what she wanted.

She looked over at the fridge and then back up at you, “Are you hungry or something?” She nodded at your question and went back over to the refrigerator, then waited for you.

As you joined her at the fridge, opening it up, you peered inside, wondering what dragons even ate. What you didn’t notice was that Bubbles was already opening one of the bottom drawers and pulled out a green apple. She held it in her hands as she flew over to the bench seat next to where you’d been sitting earlier.

“So, what do you want?” you asked, looking down.

When you didn’t see her, you got a puzzled look and glanced around the kitchen, barely seeing her head above the edge of the table. Closing the fridge, you were still puzzled but shrugged it off and went back to the task of the list. Bubbles had been watching you as you wrote down items on your list. Then, it jumped up on the table and took the pen from you, setting its apple on the table.

“It’s a pen. You use it to write things,” you told her, chuckling a little.

Bubbles flipped over the piece of paper and attempted to write. It was clear that writing was something she had never done before, as it looked like the scribbles of a toddler. She glared at you, and you did your best not to laugh, no matter how cute she looked.

“It takes time to learn how to write,” you told her, then thought for a moment, “Come with me into the library.”

With that, you got up, grabbed your coffee, and headed into the library. There were still books strewn across the tables, so you used your powers, stacking them up neatly in a few piles. Then, you created some things to help Bubbles learn how to write. You weren’t quite sure how much she could understand, so you went with the basics: the alphabet and kindergarten stuff, along with a pad of paper and a pencil so she could erase. 

You sighed and sat in one of the chairs, wondering why she wasn’t communicating with you telepathically. Then, the anger flared back up because she’d communicated with Dean the day before, at least her name. You didn’t know about the other stuff. Using your powers, you retrieved the list you’d left on the kitchen table, along with the pen. Then, you continued your list while having coffee, and Bubbles taught herself how to write.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 20

Tag List: @djs8891 @deans-spinster-witch

Link to the series Master List

A/N: If you'd like to be tagged in future chapters, leave me a comment, and I'll make sure to tag you.

Author Ask Game

I was tagged by @elbritch-kit - thank you! :D

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

I am not comfortable trying to "teach a lesson" with my stories. I'm a lil ball of anxiety, and I barely dare to share my writing at all. If I don't claim I want to achieve something with my writing, no one can tell me I did it wrong <3

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

A mixture of video games (like Elder Scrolls, Baldur's Gate or Guild Wars) and my wish to walk into the forest and never come back again.

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

Well, my MC would like to live a peaceful life. I personally hope that by ruining that I will make a few people cry :)

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

32.

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original content. It will be available as ebook and pdf download on my website.

6) When and why did you start writing?

In general? I don't know. It's been way too long. It's a "there was no other option" thing — I loved books, I want to tell my own stories, but I never really made any progress.

The first thing I actually finished? I wanted to write the ace love story I couldn't find, and I abandoned all the worldbuiding in favor of character dynamics.

My latest WIP in particular? I kinda needed to prove to myself that I could work with completely new OCs and a new story. Everything else I've written over the past 2 years was based on older drafts.

After finishing Glass Shards in April, I started with Till Death in May, and I became quickly obsessed. So obsessed I finished the draft of 110k words in about 100 days.

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

I have no idea what words of engagement are.

You can currently find me in another identity crisis, where I don't know where I belong. I feel quite alienated from the whump community, but every time I reblog one of the "torture is fun!" posts, I feel self conscious to interact with writeblr (: Isn't it fun.

I do have a list of my favorite stories which I usually point to when this question comes up, because I follow over 200 people, and I don't know how to choose the ones to list.

So I am gonna cheat a bit and mix it with softly tagging people @moremysteriesthantragedies @sam-glade @clairelsonao3 @sergeantnarwhalwrites @words-after-midnight (if you want to do this :D)

Template under the cut

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

6) When and why did you start writing?

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Getting to know your fellow fanfic writers better!

Thank you @wonkyelk for tagging me!

When did you post your first ever fic? April 2019

First character you wrote for? Ronon Dex and then Teal'c rapidly entered the scene, because it was a story about an all-you-can-eat buffet, so they were the right two characters to be motivated by that idea!

Main characters you are currently writing for? Supernatural characters - mainly Dean Winchester and Castiel. Yes, I have been bitten, chewed up and will probably never be spat out by the Destiel bug.

Characters you haven't written about before but plan on writing about soon? Um... I usually make up OCs fairly regularly, to keep the story moving along. I don't think I have any plans for actual fandom characters, though.

Fandoms your currently writing for? Supernatural

Platonic pairings you currently write for? There's usually some Sam and Dean brotherly interaction in my stories - not that I have any objection to others writing Wincest for them. I just think - go for it, have fun if that's what you like. I like to get Dean to interact with Bobby Singer sometimes. And others, depending on how the story's developing.

Romantic pairings you currently write for? Destiel all the way. Sweet or angsty or whatever. It's a comfort thing - a happy little world to live in.

Your top 3 tags on AO3 if you post there? I'm not sure what my top three would be statistically, but it feels like hurt/comfort, fluff and angst. I just don't think you can beat hurt/comfort. I don't like hurt/no comfort, though. My little people have to be comforted.

Current platform where you post your works? AO3

Snippet of the WIP you are currently working on?

I recently brought my long Secret Flowers story to a conclusion, a bit abruptly, but I really needed the feeling of freedom that gave me, somehow. Anyway, I'm now busily writing timestamps for it, which may or may not end up ridiculously long. This is from Secret Flowers - Crocuses:

Dean fiddled with the butter knife.  He shrugged and twisted and the coffee sloshed inside him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Mmm.  Uh.  You know.”

Sam might have snapped, 'I don’t unless you tell me.'  Which would have been a fair point.  But Cas was more patient.  He carried on eating and gulping his coffee and let the silence happen, giving Dean time.

“It feels wrong,” Dean said finally.  “To expect more.”  He slowly spread a long line of butter over the soft, fresh bread.  “This last year… well, you just think how we were… and how we are now.”

Warm hands enfolded his own around the butter knife.  “I know, Dean.  I know.  To have all this is a great gift.  But gifts need to be used and explored and I think Jack would want us to make the most of what we have - to really… to bloom like the flowers.”

Dean looked up at his lover’s unshaven face, the crinkly bits under his eyes, and the curves and planes and lines which made up his lips - how were they so beautiful?  How did that even work?

“Okay, then.”  Gruff and tight, Dean could’ve voice-overed the bulldog, Spike, from Tom and Jerry.  Why did his voice always do that when he was just trying to work through some emotional life-shit?

Cas smiled at him, another soft smile which he did ten, twenty, fifty times a day and always made Dean’s insides go caramel-squishy.  “Good.  So, after breakfast, we’ll make a start.”

Tagging @haus-seeblick @lanevra @casuallyneurotic But no pressure! I just love your stories!

🌿 Author Portrait .

get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog.

.Basics

name/nickname: sam/zack c: age: 29! pronouns: she/her/them years of writing: oh man, a LOT. i'm pretty sure that it's around 13-14 years of experience between Facebook para rp (dont ask) and Pokèmon forum chatrooms... good times. 

.Reflection

Why did you pick up writing? i was always an huge fan of reading and still am, and it came to me very naturally to the point where I had some notebook that I used to write scripts of roleplays between my OCs... it only escalated when I found out that people roleplayed with eachother. BOOM. opened an entire world to little mini me who was basically the weird kid with no friends. 

Do you have any writing routines? i settle down after lunch and dinner to start replying to stuff! i'll reblog a meme i really want my partners to send to me a couple of times to make sure that they see it (timezones SUCK), wait a bit to see who sends and then i'll get down to those first, and drafts come after i've done all memes if i still have energy c:

What's your favorite part about writing? THE CLAY-MOLDING YOU CAN DO TO A MUSE and the studying you do about them by researching stuff for their story, putting them in situations, letting yourself think about how they may react to love, affection, a possible betrayal... and its all on the tips of your fingers to write. i LOVE studying things!!!!!! i rotate them in my mind like a funky gyroscope!

.Three things you like about your writing:

i. while I don't particulary like angst, once I get in a mood or my muse is put into a particular situation, I'm gonna make it heart wrenching. i'm gonna make whoever is reading this break down on the floor crying. and i'm also gonna cry myself. i love that little stomach pain when you synchronize so much with your muse's pain that you're able to feel it. because others will be hit with a mallet with that too c: heheheheohee

ii. how my muse quite literally never goes away, and the patience that i have developed when dealing with my partners. we could literally not interact for months, and then when you come to me with ideas we're just going to pick up where we left, like, i'll open a box and take everything out. i was told often that this allows people to stress a little less about getting back to me fast so i'm happy about that! no stress while writing with me. i'm never out of muse anyway!

iii. the amount of EFFORT that i put into characterizing a muse......... a lot of research and plotting and thinking goes into that and i never run out of headcanons, as silly as those may be. i personalize them like a teenager would do with their cellphone by applying stickers to it and the stickers reflect their personality. 

.A question for the next person

write a question for the next person to answer. once you've answered it, leave a new question for someone else to answer.

new question: what do you find the most difficult to write (eg dialogue)? ( lauri )

i'm gonna have to go with dialogue, yeah,,,,,, i can be very wordy when describing paras and paras around a situation. then i get to the dialogue and there's a few lines of stuff that look kind of out of place to me. FORTUNATELY im working on it-

NEW QUESTION: Do you have a certain type of muse you enjoy writing? ( robin )

TECHNICALLY....... yes. i enjoy muses with deep inner turmoils that look a little mysterious, that have a lot of internal difficult decisions to make, that are a little complex and once somebody tries to figure them outand they get it completely wrong. part of why i'm currently so unashamedly hyperfocused on H:SR Kaeya is that i made him into a very complex concept and i rotate him in my mind like a sausage. 

NEW QUESTION: what kind of threads do you enjoy the most?

tagged by: @daybreakrising @duelmarks MY POOKIES tagging: @predvestnik @snowtombedstar @visionkept @chasersglow @dupliciti

I couldn't get this idea out of my head. This is kinda related to a previous post I made about a story idea where it was princes and the frog themed and I realized that would make for a great fan event. Like, imagine some students from NRC going to Port o'Bliss (were Sam lives) and they do a thing whare they create floats for their school for a Mardi gras like parade. I also like the idea the RSA is also there and they make their own floats. 

So not only do we get more RSA interactions, but I’m currently making a Mardi gras outfit/ sprite edits for some of the characters ( I was also inspired to do so sense an particular event in the Princes and the Frog movie was the costume party). 

This is a vey loose sketch of what I have so far of the sprite edit

( I took some inspiration from Mardi gras kings and queens, in particular, Zulu. I did have to dial some things back because Mardi gras king outfits are very over the top at times. Also, to give him the allusion of a mane, I went fuck it and gave him a boa scarf)

Also also, I have an oc I mentioned before called Zane and I had an idea of him being introduced by sabotaging RSA and eventually NRC and I realized this would fit. Like, he can make these small gremlin creatures called bogs and he uses them to sabotage the parade because he’s an emotionally constipated little shit.

Idk, I just like the idea of Yuu and co going to somewhere similar to New Orleans and having some fun and shenanigans, getting some more world building stuff for twisted wonderland, making floats, and trying to solve the mystery of who the hell is breaking their shit

👀👀👀!!!!!!

cheating bc you sent me 3 eyeballs so im gonna give u 3 different answers 😌 :::

the DSMP Lost Boys AU. GOD i was on some shit when i was thinking abt that. it was literally so perfect. i still have the other half of the references buried somewhere deep in my wip folder but i just. never finished it. i was probably never gonna write an actual fic for it but god did i want to do more screenshot redraws . it was so perfect. i still think abt it sometimes when i watch lost boys like. damn .... sam is so tommy coded . i love you annoying little brothers

ANOTHER dsmp one: vengeful spirit. god. fuck . where do i even start. vengeful spirit was my baby i cared about it so much. it was my ghostbur-centric character study fic series where after cwilbur was revived, ghostbur fought his way out of limbo kicking and screaming and then they had to deal with the consequences of both existing in the living world at the same time. very heart player core. something something you hate yourself so much but now there are two of you and youre different people but also youre the same guy and you hate that your brother trusts the dead fish eyes version of you more than the living breathing one. aka ghostbur gets to be angry because i really just wanted to see him snap and punch something. unfortunately the first fic totally flopped and i had nobody to bounce ideas off of so i was the only person in the world to care about vengeful spirit. i had like 12 oneshots planned out and they were each titled with song lyrics from a song in the playlist (which still exists btw) and i made a layout and everything. A LAYOUT. i never outline things dude thats how u KNOW i went hard for this one. another factor in its death tho is i started writing it like.. right after the cwilbur revival when there was a huge lull in lore streams and i was trying to fill in the blanks. but because i am a slow writer eventually canon surpassed me and i was like "hm this is too divergent now and since i am the only one who is going to read this it will simply live in my brain forever" . also i think my time for writing dsmp is way past me now. sad! oh well theres other fandoms.

third one is NOT dsmp related but it IS general minecraft related. fuck dude i have so many ideas about minecraft worldbuilding. its such a perfect game to write about. i have so many minecraft ocs that have super complex lore that will probably never see the light of day bc im like. how the hell do i convey this information without actually showing people my minecraft world. the intricacies. there are so many. i cannot play this game normally i have to make a story every single time. EVEN WHEN im not actually setting out to make a story. even when im just like "hm yeah this is gonna be a casual world im not gonna take it too seriously" and then suddenly ive rebuilt an entire village to protect it from raids and all the villagers have names and im attached. sigh. i think about minecraft religion and also the magic system and how the world works and how mobs interact with each other and . man . theres so much. does anyone want to play miencraft with me i prommy i wont go insane on you

What did you think of all the OC episodes this week?

I thought they were solid!

I know it's not a popular opinion but Archer continues to be one of the most interesting characters to me, and I love watching how he interacts with patients, his progression and regression in equal turns, the way he opens up to Dr Charles - it's all very interesting to me. I also like Grace and I thought it was interesting seeing how her good ideas could have not great execution in the ED. Obviously Med is building up to something with Dayton but I wouldn't mind seeing her stick around even if he doesn't.

Fire.... oh Fire. I mean, they gave me Casey back, how could I not love that episode? It was so fucking good having him back on our screens but also kind of confusing, some of the choices they made were certainly A Choice. Am I crazy for thinking that maybe Jesse Spencer is coming back to Fire? I just think having Boden ask him so directly when he's coming back and having him say he'd love to come back once a few things fall into place, plus they've clearly sped up the timeline of the Darden boys if Ben is already looking at colleges? And then fucking Brettsey. I mean, they're obviously still in love with one another. Like it would have been so easy to have Matt have met someone else and give us that closure so Sylvie can move on with Boring McBoring Face. Instead they admitted that he's still into her and she's clearly not over him either. Why why why would they do that if he's not coming back? Anyway, I'll stop ranting about it now, I'm probs being delusional af, but that's the fun part.

And oh man, Gallo, I really felt for him in this ep - what a powerful storyline, I actually felt myself tearing up at parts. The only eh bit was the ending because the cliffhanger (if you could call it that) felt a bit jarring. I'm assuming we're following up with it in the next ep, but we usually don't get endings like that outside of the finale and mid-season finales. Like I said, just a bit jarring.

And fucking PD. Motherfucking PD. I mean @fighterkimburgess was completely correct when they said that it was going to be the best four minutes of my life, because it fucking was. BURZEK ARE BACK BABY, and they're being cute, and they're being hot af, and they're being domestic. AND MAKAYALA IS CALLING ADAM DAD. And just oh my god, it feels so good to have them back together on our screens.

And for once I thought the rest of the episode/the case lived up to the personal stuff going on. Everything with Sam was so tense, I really feel like she's going to do something with either Makayla or Kim, or both, because I don't think it was a coincidence that she found Adam right near where Makayla was, or them mentioning that she was following him for a while. I'm assuming the finale is going to be Becks related and I for one am very excited to see Adam get to feature in it.

25x11 Prima Nocta

It makes absolutely no sense that Rollins was just full on working the case and there during the rape kit and all that.

I do not care.

It was awesome to have her back. I loved the episode.

The conversations with Carisi, with Liv, her walking back in and just hitting the ground running, the group discussing the case back and forth in the squad room, the not knowing who the perp was for so long. Good shit good shit good shit.

The UC to catch the perp was written kinda weird though? I mean. The initial set up was good and kinda cute, with Rollins and Carisi working it together (even if ridiculous that a {sort of but maybe not??} non-detective and the ADA are the ones going under) but the UC bit specifically when the perp showed up at the room was just...off. It seemed like they were setting up catching him in the act, and okay no? They're really just trying to get the DNA instead? But then no one else seemed to be aware of that part of the plan but Amanda so. That was weird. Made it the weakest bit of the episode for me.

And the end conversation with Liv was a bit confusing, too. Did they think there were gonna have her (Kelli) back and then got word that they were not or word that they don't know yet at least and so then had to do a quick edit or something? Or are they're setting up a sort of consulting thing? Or... Just confusing to spend a whole episode obviously setting up a return and then to be like nah, Rollins doesn't really want to be back at SVU and Olivia thinks it's not what she really wants. Unless they're gonna move her to Original Flavor or OC???? But hell, a lot of the fun of having her back in this episode was how she interacted with this squad, both the OGs and the Newbies.

So. I just. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's also kinda weird/sad that 1) 5 people is a full squad with no room for additions. Sure miss the days of Season one where 5 were just the detectives we followed but there were several other detectives obviously working cases in the background. 2) part of that full squad is a Captain (with the captain of the unit also full on working cases like a detective haha) and an on-loan FBI agent, so no spot for someone with an actual rank of detective lolololol

OC 4x11 Redcoat

It's kind of weird, in a lot of ways OC is a way more solid show than SVU this season. The writing is really good, the acting is really good. And yet...I just don't enjoy or care about it as much.

And I'm still really sad that Sam is dead. I don't want to get attached to newbies on SVU 'cause they'll just disappear (where did Churlish gooooo) and I don't want to get attached to newbies on OC 'cause they'll just die.

Glad the ATF lady didn't die. I'm kind of surprised at how much I've grown to like Randall; I'm digging his relationship with Elliot. But since we are doing more with his family, wish we got to see more of his kids. Especially Kathleen and Eli. Which I guess is kind of funny to say when we did briefly see Eli this episode. And what the heck are they planning with him and his big news... Maybe someday Lizzie will even get to speak! That'd be nice.

Joe Jr. is gonna do something stupid and get himself killed is my prediction and Elliot is gonna blame himself and...hope I'm wrong. Kind of tired of people dying all the time in OC and Elliot spiraling. Then again, I'm kind of tired of him doing long stints UC too (tired of the frequent spiraling and the running away into other personas and him never even being close to available for his family) and that's the whole premise of the show so I guess there's why I don't enjoy or care about it as much. Huh.

It made me laugh that Elliot has no idea that Kyle is Vargas. Though it was really weird that no one from OC brought him up to speed on that part of the investigation and it's Randall giving him the run down.

Happy Year In Review 2021!!

I've certainly lived in interesting times and here's my eventual result of that. (Can't believe it's already been a year -- 2020)

WORD COUNT:

This year I wrote a total of 127,820 words (92,789 published, 35,031 unpublished). Honestly I'm a little disappointed, I thought I did more than that. Given, it's 2021, the year of crises left and right, but...yeesh. That's less than I did back in 2019. In like, two or three months.

Most of the year was out of my control though, and I'm still standing. I count it as a win.

The Breakdown:

My Mass Effect works took up about 3/4s of the actual word count, at 112,020 words written (and 22,934 unpublished, along with most of what I haven't released for Redamancy yet). My goal this year was to finish Redamancy but it had other ideas, so I'm maybe halfway through actually finishing it? That could be another year.

My Arcane works (what a surprise), are all still unpublished with posting dates being sometime in early 2021. However, they're 12,097 words by themselves so far, so it's okay. I didn't expect to end up writing for League anytime soon, but here we are.

My singular Dragon Age work this year was Bones, which was 1,879 words. Not surprised I didn't have more, it's Dragon Age. That and I lost all of the games when my account was hacked earlier in the year. Not a lot of motivation to write for this fandom.

My singular Mind Blind work this year was "Do It For Them", which was 1,824 words. It's been a while since I've really interacted with the IF fandom, so that's pretty unsurprising.

New Things I Tried:

Not much I don't think? Redamancy has actually been beta'd, every single chapter currently published has had a second pair of eyes over it (which is such a big help, you'd never notice how many misspellings you miss yourself), but beyond that I didn't really have the time or mental energy to do much else. EXCEPT for starting to write for Arcane. Never thought I'd do anything relating to League.

(God I hate the culture around League so much.)

Favorite Thing I Wrote This Year:

Probably Letters Home? Not super sure why but it is one of the few times I've genuinely liked something I wrote mainly in a non-OC's perspective. It's a working point for Joker and Citlali, which are two characters I hesitate to write together for whatever reason.

(That and it's criminal how Tiptree and Joker's feelings related to it are just swept under the rug -- it's criminal!)

Favorite Fic I Read This Year:

@ljandersen's Sideways. Easily one of my favorites (even if I'm still behind a handful of chapters -- and mentioned it last year), just for the characterization alone. I absolutely love how their Kaidan(s) and Shepard(s) interact with each other, and the little details that turn out to be bigger than anyone would've guessed. I absolutely adore the ever-growing future that they've weaved into the story, as well as how they expanded the Mass Effect universe into something all their own. I'm really looking forward to seeing where the rest of the story goes.

@shockdowndefiance's A Momentary Lapse In Judgement. Though I really loved just about every work in their library (Allison Shepard my beloved) this one really stuck with me because it really examined the coup for what it was logically and what Bioware couldn't quite do, especially for a Kaidanmancing Shepard. Allison's universe extends Mass Effect something emotionally compelling, and this fic is probably one of the best examples of that. I still absolutely love how they resolved it, as well as how Allison's character really shines through here, both as Commander Shepard as well as -- well, a regular human being. It's painful at times, but also terribly comforting.

@swaps55's Sonata. I'm such a sucker for in-between moment Mass Effect stories, especially Shenko centered ones. Sam Shepard is such a compelling character, and his relationship with Kaidan is certainly one that makes you so very mushy on the inside. Swaps' writing style is something that'll suck you in and never quite let you go, and their attention to detail is something to be admired. (Which is why I was up until the middle of the night finishing it -- definitely worth the read!)

& (last but definitely not least)

@lyrishadow's Between Times. I still read it time to time just because it makes me happy and amuses me greatly. It was a birthday gift from them to me and it still makes me really happy. I really love how they weaved both of our Shepards together to write something so nice, and how they took the time out of their life to do it.

Writing Goals For 2022

Be less on myself about writing. I was genuinely feeling so guilty and completely paralyzed out of having any fun the entire months of October, November and December just because I hadn't gotten any substantial writing done. Which shouldn't be how I feel, writing is a hobby of mine. Just because I was more likely to reach for my stylus or even one of my games than I was my bookmark for my longfic doesn't mean I'm a failure, even if I would've liked to see more progress. I mean, hell I'm a high school student who's about to graduate in a couple months -- you'd think I'd be able to afford myself the same grace I give my peers.

(It's the validation. I live off of it. I shouldn't, but I do.)

Word Of Thanks

Thanking the lovely Lock + Key writers because you guys are lovely people, (@delinquest , @glyndwrwrites , @lnewmanwrites , @tayareum , @thesupremepuff + @colonelpknight [can't tag you]) thank you for going on such a wild ride with me this year, its been so freaking fun working with you all!

The lovely @mallaidhsomo for their contributions to Redamancy and all of the useful advice they've provided me with. Along with the rest of the Bioware Fanfiction server, I might not interact much but its a very comforting place to be. <3

@that-wasnt-so-bad + @kaidans-alenkos + @mariaalenkoshepard + @actualanxiousswampwitch + @oakstar519 for being the people I always love seeing in my notifs and inbox, and the people who always have the best headcanons for the canon characters and their own.

@sheyshen + @greencrusader13 + @anchanted-one + @naaklasolus for always being there to listen to my rambly nonsense in our development channel. And responding with your own OCs because I love them very much.

@asianshep + @tali-zorahs + @metzlishepard + @dickeybbqpit + the rest of the A.G.U discord because the lot of you have been so kind to me since I popped in just for fun a while ago. Y'all are fun, and are the absolute sweetest <3 (I will track down the rest of your tumblrs eventually).

Tentatively go forth and prosper into 2022!

A Compromise - Chapter 5

Summary: Negan pressures Y/N after thinking she may not be okay with the idea of him having a daughter. The truth about Sam is revealed and Y/N gets to see a side of Negan she had never really seen before.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Sam, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, etc. 

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834154/chapters/75051987

Notes: Sorry this took so long to post!

“Of course I don’t have a problem with you having a daughter. I just thought maybe that would be something that you would have told me ahead of time,” Y/N answered while Negan stared out at her expectantly waiting for her answer after the arrival of Sam. It seemed like a lot of their relationship would depend on her answer by the look on his face. The idea that she may be upset by him having a daughter really seemed to offend Negan. Maybe she came off aggressive about him having a daughter, but deep down it didn’t bother her at all. That would have been something silly for her to be upset about. It was just something she figured Negan would have told her. Then again, they weren’t really dating so he owed her nothing in terms of an explanation. “If I would have known your daughter was coming over, I would have made sure we weren’t in the middle of painting a room.”

“Two things,” Sam stepped forward from where she was standing behind Negan to make her presence known once more. “One, I think painting rooms are awesome. My mom paints the rooms in our house all the time and I always help. So, I don’t mind. It’s cooler than just sitting around and doing nothing. It gives us time to get to know each other. Work together. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“You want to get to know me?” Y/N stammered, her head tilting to the side as Sam giggled and pulled her long, blonde hair back.  

“Of course I do. If you are his girlfriend, why wouldn’t I?” Sam muttered, her brow line creasing much as Y/N had seen Negan’s do before making her wonder even more if Sam was Negan’s daughter. “If you’re important to Negan, you’re important to me.”

“Well, that’s very sweet,” Y/N looked between Sam and Negan noticing the way that Negan was staring down at Sam while she spoke.

“Well, I want Negan happy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him happy,” Sam reached out to poke Negan in the abdomen making Negan chuckle when she did it. “But I never got to my part two and part two is…I’m not his daughter.”

“Sam,” Negan snorted and Sam threw her hands up in the air. Obviously, Negan wasn’t going to drop that last bit of information until he knew that Y/N wouldn’t have a problem with him being a father.

“Being honest is the best thing you can do in a relationship,” Sam reminded Negan making Negan let out a hearty laugh at her advice. “Of course, he’s always been like a father to me, but he’s my uncle. Well…he’s kind of my uncle.”

“Sam, I’ve been around since you were born. I’m your uncle,” Negan grumbled and Sam smiled brightly, turning to look to Y/N again. Negan reached out to wrap his arm loosely around Sam’s shoulders before pulling her in closer to him. “Sam is Lucille’s sister’s daughter.”

“And I’m also his goddaughter. My mom and Negan here were pretty good friends. Well one of my moms thinks he’s great. The other one…” Sam looked up at Negan and chuckled when Negan hushed her.

“Moms?” Y/N repeated what Sam said and saw Sam proudly nod her head.

“Yeah, I have two moms. So, I guess you could say that Negan was the closest thing to a father I’ve had my whole life,” Sam muttered and laughed when Negan picked her up in his arms to pull her close to his chest. Planting a kiss on Sam’s cheek caused her to groan out making Negan laugh again when she did it. The interaction between the two of them made Y/N laugh and Negan smirked when he noticed Y/N was amused with them. “One of my moms is a doctor. She’s the one that was Aunt Lucille’s sister. My other mom travels for business. When my mom travels for business she always has me come over and be with Negan. Even when they aren’t traveling, they let me spend at least one weekend a month with Negan. Plus, I like hanging out with him. He’s a great uncle. We do a lot of fun things and he’s a really great guy.”

“How much do I owe you for talking good about me like that?” Negan teased, squeezing Sam close to him.

“I’ll take a twenty please,” Sam held her hand up and Negan chuckled as he set her down back to her feet. Negan pulled his wallet out of his pocket and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill for her. Sam pocketed the money and laughed making Y/N entertained when they did it. “Were you two in the pool together? Since you’re both wet.”

“Yeah, we were in the middle of painting and I just got hot,” Negan lied, looking back at Y/N knowing that they needed to talk, but it would be hard for them to do that with Sam there. “Why don’t you head to the room and pick out the brush you want to use to paint. I’ll be right in there.”

“Is Y/N coming?” Sam inquired and Negan shrugged his shoulders. That wasn’t an answer he could give Sam because he didn’t know what kind of mindset that Y/N was in. Or if she’d even want to be around him. “Well, it would be cool to get to know her if she was staying. Either way, it was nice to meet you Y/N…in case you’re leaving.”

“It was very nice to meet you too Sam,” Y/N gave a wink and watched Sam wave before heading down the hallway. When Sam was gone, Negan turned to Y/N with one of his eyebrows arched. They both were quiet until they knew for sure that they were alone. “I should probably allow you to spend time with your niece. Having me around makes things complicated.”

“It really doesn’t. I would rather you stay here,” Negan insisted her with a heavy sigh, folding his arms out in front of his chest.

“You once again said what we did was a mistake,” she reminded him and Negan frowned as he shifted his weight. There was a silence between them as Negan searched for the right thing to say to her. “Why are you so against being with me?”

“I’ve already told you the answer to that. I just feel bad because we had our first kiss and I just let things get out of hand,” Negan responded with a frown, lifting his right hand up to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “I don’t regret kissing you; I just regret pushing you into what followed.”

“You didn’t push me into anything,” she denied that idea and Negan tilted his head to the side, not believing what she was saying. “You didn’t.”

“You were nervous. I was pushing too much and too fast,” Negan stepped forward, his hand sliding in over her hip and she let out a tense breath. “I don’t regret having you around here. I don’t regret kissing you…”

“That’s not the way it seemed,” she went to bicker with him as he dipped down to collect her lips in a kiss. The kiss was slow, meticulous and absolutely took her breath away. With the way Negan caressed over the small of her back while kissing her felt amazing. Chills went down her spine and when Negan pulled away from her, she could feel her body trembling.

“I want things to be perfect with you,” Negan asserted, his face scrunching up as he thought about what they did. “You deserve perfect. We went from kissing to…”

Negan looked over his shoulder to make sure they were alone, but Y/N reached out to draw him to look back to her knowing they were alone. Tipping up on her toes, she met him in another desperate kiss hearing him hum when she did it. Instead of being uptight, they both loosened up while their kiss continued and she could feel Negan possessively grasping at the side of her neck.  

“Whoever painted the right side of the wall…” Sam moved out into the hallway making both Y/N and Negan hop back from each other. When Sam saw the two of them, she snorted and shook her head slowly. “Never mind, I’ll talk to you when you guys are…finished.”

“Nice Sam,” Negan looked back at his niece seeing the way she shrugged her shoulders before heading back into the room. When Sam was gone, Negan turned to look at Y/N and he sighed heavily. “I told you when people…get with me…things just fall apart and I don’t want that between us.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen Negan,” she tried to assure him, looking down toward the ground. The soft stroking of Negan’s fingertips was felt against the side of her face. It caused a shuddering breath to fall from her throat and she lifted her gaze. “We do have a deal after all.”

“Yeah, I guess we do,” Negan acknowledged, lowering his hand when she clearly brought up the fact that they weren’t exactly official to begin with. There was a sense of disappointment in his eyes, but he shrugged his shoulders and tried to brush that feeling away. “It’s your choice. You can stay and get to know my niece if you want. Or you can go and we can get together again at some point. I would prefer you stay.”

“And that’s what you want?” Y/N confirmed and Negan nodded his head. “That’s not going to make this feel odd? Since I’m not really your girlfriend and she thinks that I am.”

“You’re the closest thing to a girlfriend I’ve had since Lucille,” Negan reasoned with her, throwing his hands up in the air in a dramatic manner. “Let’s be honest, our relationship isn’t…conventional, but it’s a relationship none the less.”

“Are you sure it’s okay if I stay?” she confirmed seeing Negan seem to perk up when she thought about staying with them. “I don’t want your niece to hate me.”

“She won’t,” Negan replied with a firm shake of his head. “I would really rather you two get to know each other. Sam is a good kid. A little spicy, but she usually likes everyone unless they give her a reason not to. I know you; you’re not someone she wouldn’t like. You two I think would get along quite well.”

“And you want me here?” by now she probably sounded like a broken record and she knew it. The crack of a smile that pressed in over his lips made her realize she had asked that one too many times. There was something about those dimples of his that just made her weak in the knees as he smiled at her nervousness. All he had to do was smile and it made it feel like everything was right in the world. That’s the kind of charm he had.  

“How many times do I have to say yes before you realize that I sincerely want you here?” Negan stepped forward to wrap his arm around her waist to draw her in closer to him. “If my niece makes you uncomfortable, you can leave. She’s going to be here today and tomorrow. You’re welcome to stay. But I understand if you would like to leave. The choice is yours.”

Negan stepped back and waited for her decision. When she continued to stand in the foyer and didn’t make a move to leave, he took that as her answer. Reaching out his hand for her, she accepted it and moved back toward the room with him to work on the room again. When they entered the room he was painting for her, the music playlist that Sam had picked was blasting while she worked on the walls.

“Damn you’re a fast cookie,” Negan released Y/N’s hand slowly as he took a look at what Sam had done already. Sam looked back at them to see Y/N was still there and a smile expanded over Sam’s features.

“Hey! You stayed,” Sam winked before going back to work on helping to get the primer on the walls. “I’m glad you stayed, that way we can gossip about Negan.”

“Hey now,” Negan reached for the paint roller that he had set aside and he waved on Y/N to have her come in closer with them. Negan moved in beside Sam to wrap his arm around her shoulders to give her a firm squeeze. “No gossiping about Negan during this time period please. We’re just going to work together on these walls and keep our mouths shuts.”

“Well that’s boring shit then,” Sam snorted making Negan laugh when she said it and it made Y/N crack a smile. Sam definitely took after he uncle. That was for sure. “We’re going to talk about things whether you like it or not. Sitting in silence is not fun.”

Sam poked Negan in the side before grabbing his roller. Setting the roller in a paint tray, she handed it to Negan and nodded toward the other side of the room, “Y/N and I will work together. You can go work to yourself over there.”

“My own niece is kicking me out?” Negan placed his hand in over the center of his chest to feign being hurt. The way Sam laughed drew attention to her dimples and it made Y/N chuckle herself at how giggly the two of them were together. “I feel cheated.”

“It’s okay. We’re probably going to have to fix your side anyways,” Sam shoved into Negan to get him to go away toward the other side of the room. When Negan went to his area of the room, Sam urged Y/N to start working with her. “So…how long have you known Negan?”

“Uh…” Y/N looked back at Negan who was eyeing her over while looking over his shoulder working on the other side of the room. There was an expression on Negan’s face that showed her he didn’t really know what the answer for that should have been either. “Not for very long.”

“I see,” Sam worked on her side of the wall and Y/N did her side. Y/N was honest with Sam. Honesty was the best like Sam had said earlier. After a minute, Sam cleared her throat and looked to Y/N with her big, green eyes. “So what are your intentions with him?”

“Sam!” Negan snorted from where he was and Sam threw her hands up in the air defensively, holding the paintbrush haphazardly while it dripped on the drop cloth beneath them. “I would actually not like to scare this one off, okay? Questions like that so early in a relationship…not cool.”

“This one? You act like you’ve had multiple women around,” Sam retorted with a wrinkle of her nose before going back to working. An embarrassed expression flushed over Negan’s features when his eyes connected with Y/N’s. It may have embarrassed Negan, but Y/N actually found it kind of cute that Sam would ask that. It meant she cared about her uncle. There was nothing wrong with that. “I’m sorry if I upset you. You’re just the first girl that my uncle has been around since my aunt died and I just want to make sure you want what’s best for him.”

“I very much like your uncle,” Y/N took a moment to speak, but when she gathered her thoughts she assured Sam of how she felt. “I know about your Aunt Lucille and I really like spending time with your uncle. He’s unique and he treats me really well. Better than a lot of people have my entire life.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him,” Sam stammered with a sigh making Negan chuckle in the background behind them. “He’s really good to me too. Has always treated me like I was his own child. Buys me things. Pampers me. He really likes animals. Did you know that? Every few weeks we go and volunteer at a shelter. He really loves dogs, but my Aunt Lucille was allergic so he never got one. I hope you can convince him to get one soon. It’d be nice to have a dog to play with when I come here.”

“I’ll have to see what I can do,” Y/N smirked as Negan let out a sigh.

“What she hasn’t told you is that she keeps asking her moms for a dog and they keep telling her no, so she wants me to get her one and pretend it’s mine,” Negan informed Y/N with a snort and he watched Sam look over her shoulder to stick her tongue out at him. Returning the gesture, Negan stuck his tongue out at her as well making Y/N laugh at their silliness. “Which in reality, I’ll be the one training it, living with it, feeding it, taking care of it…all of that fun stuff. So it will be my dog.”

“Dogs make you happy Negan,” Sam insisted moving closer to the middle of the wall so she could work on the lower parts while Y/N worked on the higher parts of the wall. “I’m sure having Y/N here makes you happy, but imagine how happy you will be if you have a dog here too. A new girlfriend and a new dog? That sounds like the ultimate happiness to me.”

“That sounds like exhaustion to me,” Negan teased as he finished up with the wall he was working on and moved to the next part. “What am I going to do with the poor puppy when you’re at school and I’m at work? He or she will be all alone to themself.”

“What does Y/N do? Could she watch it?” Sam looked to Y/N with big eyes and Y/N glanced over at Negan. Multiple times already, she had looked to Negan for some kind of answer, but he seemed just as blank as her as to what to say to his niece.  

“If the time ever comes where it feels right and your uncle wanted to get a puppy, then I would have no problem babysitting it,” Y/N answered knowing that she could have left it at that, but she didn’t want to leave Negan in the hole where Sam was expecting him to immediately get one. “I think because the bond you want to have with a puppy, your uncle might want to wait until something like summer time so that way him and the puppy could have time together. Only have two days a week with work with the puppy might be hard on both Negan and the puppy with separation anxiety.”

“When you put it like that…” Sam spoke in a slow slur before shrugging her shoulders, “I guess that kind of makes sense.”

They finished with the primer and talked about random odds and ends before following Negan into the kitchen for some dinner while they waited for the primer to dry so they could actually paint the color in the room that they had been working on. While they sat at the island in Negan’s kitchen, Y/N could see that Sam’s eyes were hooked on her curiously.

“You’re very pretty,” Sam complimented Y/N and Y/N couldn’t help at smile over how sweet Negan’s niece had turned out to be.

“And you’re very pretty too,” Y/N repeated and Negan looked back at the two of them as he put something together for them to eat. Negan gave a wink and Y/N was actually thankful she stayed. Getting to see Negan interact with his niece was nice because it showed a side to him that she didn’t even know existed before.

“You and Negan make a good looking couple. I think my Aunt Lucille would have liked you,” Sam assured Y/N with a happy sound as Negan set Sam’s plate of food before her. “You lucked out with Negan. He’s a good cook.”

“She lucked out with Negan?” Negan reiterated her words with a chuckle. The look Sam gave him made it seem like she didn’t think it was a big deal. That just wasn’t something Negan was used to hearing Sam say. Stepping back toward the counters, Negan grabbed the plate of food he made for Y/N and moved to the island to carefully reach out to hand it to her. “Where the hell did you hear something like that?”

“I heard mom saying it the other day about something. I figure it means something good, right?” Sam inquired, pushing her blonde hair back into a ponytail again before she started to eat dinner.

“No, you used it perfectly right in a sentence, I just don’t expect to hear that from a twelve year old,” Negan grunted with a half laugh, his face scrunching up when he repeated the saying once more. “But apparently you lucked out with me Y/N. I can in fact cook and I cook well.”

“He does a lot of things well. My Uncle Negan isn’t like most people and I mean that in a good way. He can fix cars, he can fix things around the house, he’s really funny…” Sam continued to ramble on; her eyes hooked on Y/N as Negan took a seat next to Sam and started laughing. “What?”

“You do realize she is already dating me, right?” Negan pointed out making Y/N smirk as she took the first bite of the food that Negan had put together for them. Sam was right; he was exceedingly good at cooking. Maybe she would have to spend more time with Negan because she could just tell by this meal that he prepared that he already made food better than her family.

“I just think she would like to know that the guy she is dating has all those qualities. Sure, he isn’t great at painting, but he’s awesome with kids,” Sam continued on making Negan throw his hand up in the air to cover his eyes and laugh as if he was embarrassed. “That’s marriage material right?”

“Marriage material?” Y/N repeated Sam’s words and Negan dragged his hand down his face letting out an uncomfortable laugh. “I think it’s a little early in the relationship to be talking about marriage, but I do agree with you he is a special guy.”

“It’s never too early to talk about marriage, is it?” Sam reasoned making both Negan and Y/N laugh with her over dramatic tone. “I mean look at my parents. They knew each other three months and then they got married because they knew they were the right ones for each other.”

“Not everyone is like your parents though. What they had is special,” Negan claimed, pushing at the food on his plate with his fork. “Sometimes what took your parents three months to do takes people ten years to do. Sometimes you just have to be really sure that’s what you want.”

“But you and Lucille got married at nineteen,” Sam bickered with Negan and Negan cleared his throat uneasily when Sam dropped that little bit of information.

“Nineteen?” Y/N stammered and Negan looked to Y/N with a tilt of his head. The way his eyebrows furrowed made it seem like once more she needed to tread carefully with how she responded to that information. When they had talks about Negan being a ladies man in the past, she really didn’t expect him to be the kind of guy that was married at nineteen. That meant if she took after him, she would have been married for a few years now. “You were married at nineteen?”

“I was,” Negan nodded, glancing down at his wedding ring that he had on his hand. He spun it on his finger before shifting uncomfortably in his chair. The way his neck tensed drew attentions to the large vein in his neck and Y/N could sense that Negan wasn’t exactly thrilled that Sam had dropped that bit of information. “Things kind of came fast for me when I was young. I did really well at baseball. I looked like I had a great career ahead of me. Then I got hurt when I was nineteen and special events led to me being married.”

“She didn’t know that bit?” Sam winced when she realized that she dropped new information on Y/N about Negan’s past. “I’m sorry.”

 “No, it’s okay. She should know things. You were right about the whole honesty thing Sam,” Negan stammered taking a bite of his dinner. “Lucille was pregnant when we got married.”

Y/N choked when Negan admitted that and Negan’s eyes narrowed while he stared out at her. Negan took a big bite of his food and craned his neck a bit, clearly uncomfortable, “Lucille had a miscarriage and after that was never able to have kids again. But I don’t regret marrying her at that age. Like Sam said, when you know you love someone…you know.”

“I am so sorry,” Y/N apologized feeling suddenly guilty that she had made things so stressful earlier about Negan having a child. Sam reached out to place her hand over Negan’s and she gave it a firm squeeze. “Negan…”

“We’re good,” Negan wrapped his fingers around Sam’s fingers and gave them a tiny squeeze in return. “We always talked about adopting, but that never really…went through.”

“What was nice though is that with Uncle Negan and Aunt Lucille it was like I had two sets of parents growing up,” Sam informed Y/N with a bright smile reaching out to wrap her arm around Negan’s shoulders and he grinned. “I was always with Aunt Lucille and Uncle Negan. Almost as much as I was with my moms. I very much liked it.”

“Were you…” Y/N paused, her eyebrows furrowing when she thought about her question she was about to ask. Curiosity was getting the best of Y/N, especially knowing that Sam had two mothers. In some cases, this question could be considered rude, but Negan and Sam seemed to be quite open to their lives.  “Were you adopted Sam?”

“No, it’s kind of complicated. My parents explained it to me, but my biological mother is my Aunt Lucille’s sister,” Sam waved her hand around in the air, shrugging her shoulders when she continued to eat her food. “I don’t know who my dad was. They had a donor or something. I never understood it. It kind of creeped me out when they tried to explain it.”

“Your mother would kill me if she knew we were talking about this,” Negan stammered with a groan and Sam giggled. “Lucille’s sister is Elaina and Sam’s other mom is Jane. Elaina is very open about things where as Jane…”

“Let’s just say they are complete opposites. One thinks I should know how babies are really made and the other got very angry when I found out how they were made,” Sam made a disgusted face and Negan’s nose wrinkled when he listed to his niece ramble. “My mothers are so different it’s weird.”

“Elaina likes me and Jane…not my biggest fan,” Negan took another mouthful of food and lifted his eyes to see Y/N listening carefully to them.

“She loves you. She just doesn’t get your humor. She’s kind of…lame. But I love her!” Sam explained while poking at her food.

“It sounds like you guys have a really good family there,” Y/N pointed out as she continued to eat her food and Sam’s eyes were still hooked on hers. It was nice hearing the two of them go back and forth with one another. There was no doubt by the way they could talk with each other that Negan and Sam were close.

“I think you would make a perfect addition to it,” Sam gave a cheesy smile and Negan dropped his fork to the plate making Sam giggle again.

“You might as well be proposing for me at this point. Do you want to go to the store with me and pick out a ring?” Negan reached out to tickle at Sam’s sides and strangely enough, Y/N really liked this.

“At least it would be a pretty ring. I have taste,” Sam firmly stated between her laughter while she continued to try and fight off Negan from his tickling.

Domestic life was not something that Y/N had ever seen herself enjoying or wanting. More than anything she thought wanted a good job and she wanted to be fiercely independent because of how her parents had been toward her. Yet Y/N enjoyed the time she was spending with Negan and Sam. Their bickering was incredibly cute and charming. With her family she never really got to see the good side of having a family, so this perspective of what a family should be was really eye opening for Y/N.

When Negan stopped tickling Sam, he looked up at Y/N with slightly rose colored cheeks. “I’m sorry; I have a bit of a pushy one here Y/N.”

“You’re fine. I think Sam is great,” Y/N gave Sam a wink and Sam tickled Negan back for revenge when his attention was fully on Y/N. Watching them play with each other made her happy. Their laughter was contagious and even though Negan had opened up about things that were kind of dark, Sam was there to balance it out and make it better for him. Which was a good thing and Y/N was glad to have that moment.

After dinner, Y/N was helping Negan clean up the dishes. Sam was eager to get back to painting in the other room and left them to clean up. Negan insisted that he had no problem cleaning everything up, but Y/N didn’t want to leave it all on him, especially since he had been kind enough to make them such a nice meal. There was a silence between them as she looked over at him with a sad expression. After watching him with Sam, she started to think about how angry she had been at him over the last few days. It made her regret the way she was acting and spending this time with Negan made her rethink the way she was about things previously.

“I’m sorry I’ve given you so much shit. You have been through so much and I don’t think I realized that,” Y/N explained how she was feeling and Negan’s gaze lifted from the plates that he was cleaning up in the soapy water.

“Please don’t apologize,” Negan looked to her with a frown and he shrugged. “You had no idea what I’ve been through. How were you supposed to? Plus, I could have been more open with you. There are a lot of things I think…might be hard for me to tell people. Still. What you know now is only scratching the surface. Not sure anyone would want to be around me if they knew everything.”

“I highly doubt that,” she reached out to squeeze over his shoulder and there was a sense of sadness in his expression.  

“I really fucked this up didn’t I?” Negan snorted as he looked away from her with an uncomfortable shift of his body. “This is exceedingly strange and way too much when you were just looking for a sugar daddy, isn’t it?”

“Nah, you’re still my sugar daddy, but I think we’re a little bit more complicated than that now,” she teased, bumping him softly with her hip. They could have talked more about that, but considering Sam was in the other room, she didn’t think now was really the time. “Sam is really amazing you know.”

“I told you that you would like her. She’s pushy, but…” Negan went to continue and Y/N reached for Negan’s shirt to pull him to her so they could kiss. A surprised sound fell from Negan’s throat as she kissed him over and over again. Licking his lips when she pulled away, Negan let out a long exhale and smiled. “Well that was nice.”

“Sexy sugar daddy Negan is nice, but this side of you,” she took a moment to eye him over and she palmed in over the center of his chest, “This makes you so much sexier.”

A grin tugged at the corners of his lips. His eyes were hooked on hers when she started to back step away from the sink.

“Finish up drying and I’ll see you in there,” Y/N whispered moving toward the hallway to go back to helping Sam with the painting. Leaving Negan in the kitchen, she just wanted him to know that she liked what she had seen of him. Having him be a mystery was appealing, but seeing how amazing he was in general was even better.

After they finished painting late into the night, Y/N had helped Negan and Sam build a ‘fort’ in Negan’s living room out of blankets, sheets and cushions from the couch and chairs. It reminded her so much of being young. She missed the innocence and fun that came with being Sam’s age.

When the fort was done they had pulled some sleeping bags and blankets into it. All three of them easily fit in underneath it and they were all lying together. Negan was in the middle and the area was lit by a flashlight that Sam was holding onto. Negan and Sam were making shadow puppets giggling with each other whenever Negan would do something ridiculous. When they calmed down and seemed to be winding down, Sam let out a heavy sigh and looked over to them, “Today was fun. I’m excited for whatever we’re going to do tomorrow. You’re staying tomorrow, right Y/N?”

“Of course I am,” Y/N assured Sam as Sam cuddled into Negan for a while. Feeling her phone buzzing in her pocket, Y/N cleared her throat and pulled out her phone to see she had a lot of missed calls from her parents. She hadn’t been in contact with them since she had been with Negan so they were likely wondering where she was.

“You should let them know that you are okay,” Negan whispered, looking down at his chest to see that Sam had fallen asleep on the center of his chest. “Parents just like to know you’re okay. No matter how fucking awful of a parent they may be.”

“You’re right,” she agreed sending a text to her mother that she was just staying with a friend for a few days. Negan gave her a wink when she turned off her phone and got comfortable beside him.

Negan turned the flashlight off while Sam was and they had all fallen asleep for a while. In the middle of the night, a gasp fell from Y/N’s throat when she felt a weight shifting over her. Opening her eyes, she saw Negan crawling in over her, bracing himself on his elbows. Negan placed his finger in over his mouth to keep her silent as he nodded over toward a sleeping Sam.

“You are so fucking perfect,” Negan slurred, his eyes hooded while he looked her over. Lowering in, he pressed a teasing, faint kiss over her lips before starting to pepper kisses over her lips. Each kiss would get just a bit harder and a bit more intense. Soon her arms were hooked around Negan’s shoulders while they were essentially making out. A moan fell from Negan’s throat when he felt Y/N sucking at his tongue and he lazily pulled his mouth away from hers. “I think I need to go back to bed. We have to keep this PG-thirteen.”

“God,” she laughed against his mouth as he gave her a final kiss goodnight before rolling back to his spot. Taking advantage of the moment, she slid in beside him and urged him to wrap his arm around her. Cuddling up to Negan felt amazing and made her feel safe. Even if they were sleeping on the floor, this was the most comfortable she had been sleeping at night being with Negan the last two days.

By the time she woke up in the morning it was because she heard the sound of pans clanking together and she lifted up to see that she was alone in the fort that they had built the night before. Crawling out carefully making sure she didn’t destroy anything, she could hear Negan and Sam talking together in the kitchen. Their giggles made her smile when she reached the entrance of the kitchen to see them together cooking breakfast.

“Good morning,” she finally spoke up and both of them looked over their shoulders at her. “Something smells good.”

“Morning,” Negan winked and then went back to cooking. Sam waved excitedly while her other hand clung to the spatula she had. “We didn’t want to wake you until breakfast was done because you seemed really comfortable.”

“I guess I needed the sleep,” she admitted, taking a look at what time it was, “How far away is breakfast? I should probably go grab some clothes and a quick shower so you both can stand to be around me.”

“You’ve got time,” Negan gave her a nod, but Sam gave her a weird expression. “She lives across the street.”

“Oh!” Sam nodded, looking toward what they were cooking. “We just started so you should be fine.”

“Bring your bathing suit, this one wants to go swimming after breakfast,” Negan informed her, looking over his shoulder again at Y/N with a smirk.

“And then tonight we’re going to a fair that’s happening in town. I heard about it and wanted my moms to take me, but they never had the time so Negan is going to take us,” Sam informed her with a happy smile, “So that should be really fun, but you need to be comfortable so we can walk around.”

“Got it. Good walking shoes and a bathing suit,” Y/N snapped her fingers, nodding her head. She wondered if she should have been giving Negan and Sam some alone time together, but they both seemed to want her around.

Heading back to her house, she knew that her parents wouldn’t be there so she quickly snuck in and grabbed what she needed. She got in a quick shower before rushing back to Negan’s to have breakfast with them. When they got into the pool, Negan had set up a net for them to play volleyball and Sam had requested Y/N to be on her team.

“I don’t think this is really fair, the whole two on one thing,” Negan prepared to serve the ball while they were in the pool together. His big smile expanded over his handsome features, enhancing his dimples when he did it. There was definitely a happiness to Negan when Sam had been with them that she hadn’t seen before. He just lit up around her and Y/N liked to see it.

“It’s not like we’re taking much away from you Negan, you suck for the most part so it wouldn’t have helped who was on your team,” Sam teased Negan and stuck her tongue out making Negan snort before serving the ball. Sam managed to bump it back over the net and Negan easily hit it back to them, but Y/N was able to spike it back to Negan. He attempted to jump to catch it, but ended up missing it letting out a frustrated sound. “We’re kicking your ass.”

“Butt,” Negan chuckled holding his finger out to point out at Sam, “If your mom hears you saying that, she’s going to kick my ass.”

“I know, I know,” Sam rolled her eyes and held her hand up to motion him to calm down. “I know to only talk like that around you.”

“I think we should play something else,” Negan swam under the net and moved in closer to them. “I’m going to continue to get my ass kicked and I feel like we should play a game where I actually stand a shot.”

“Watch your mouth,” Y/N muttered, playfully elbowing Negan hearing him chuckle when she said that after he corrected Sam on the word ass. “What do you have in mind?”

“How about Marco Polo?” Negan suggested and he saw Sam’s face scrunch up before shrugging her shoulders. “You can be it first since you were the MVP of the last round.”

“Shouldn’t the loser be the first person to be it?” Sam pointed out and Negan threw his hands up in the air while shaking his head.

“I think I should be given a break after how badly I was losing,” Negan smirked and nodded toward the steps. “You know the rules. Go over there, close your eyes.”

“I know the rules of Marco Polo,” Sam grumbled, swimming over to the steps of the pool and she turned away from them. Sam started to count out loud and Negan reached for Y/N’s hand to pull her with him toward the corner of the opposite end of the pool.

Pulling her in front of him, Negan kept his arms loosely wrapped around her waist and nuzzled his nose against the back of her neck, “When she starts, you stay to the edge of the pool and go that way. I’ll go this way and go to the stairs. Then follow my lead.”

“Okay,” she snickered with Negan whispering against her flesh. The sensation of him pressing a tender kiss against the back of her neck made her eyes close for a moment before hearing Sam announce she was going to start looking for them.

When Sam started swimming out, Negan urged Y/N to move like he had said and Sam’s voice filled the air, “Marco.”

“Polo,” both of them muttered in return and because they were separated, Sam seemed to stand still for a moment to try to determine where to go. When Sam repeated Marco, they both responded once they reached the stairs. Negan urged Y/N to carefully move out of the pool and she gave him a look that made him shrug his shoulders.

“Move around the pool and keep responding,” Negan ordered in a quiet tone as they both moved around the edge of the pool. For a while it worked, but eventually Sam picked up on what they had done. Sam pulled herself out of the pool and chased after Negan making him laugh when she managed to push him into the pool. “Hey, why did I get shoved? Y/N did it too.”

“Because I know it was your idea, you jerk,” Sam laughed, jumping back in the water to splash Negan when she returned to the water.

Sitting on the edge of the pool, Y/N watched Negan and Sam play wrestle together before Negan looked to Y/N with big eyes. When Sam went to swim, Negan moved to the edge and slid his hand up Y/N’s leg, “What are you thinking?”

“How much I like you,” Y/N answered, reaching out to trace over the side of Negan’s face and he leaned into her touch. His eyes closed when her fingers pushed into his wet, dark hair. “I’ve really liked these last few days.”

“Me too,” Negan declared, his eyes opening and leaned in to press a kiss over the inside of her knee. Looking over his shoulder, Negan checked on Sam before nodding toward his phone. “Could you let me know the time?”

Getting up from the side of the pool, Y/N reached for Negan’s phone to see what time it was, “It’s almost one.”

“Hey Sam,” Negan looked back over his shoulder and brushed his fingers through his wet hair. “We should get some lunch in and then rest for a bit before going to the fair. Binge something for a few to get some relax time in.”

Sam didn’t take much convincing and it was nice getting to relax with the two of them for a while to watch things until they finally went to the fair together. It had been a very long time since Y/N had ever been to a fair. So this was exceedingly new to her.

Sam was eager to play multiple games at the fair and in typical Negan fashion he would let her do whatever she wanted. Y/N just stood beside Negan, holding his hand while they watched Sam having fun.

“You know,” Sam pointed toward one of the games and drew Negan’s attention to one of the giant bears. It was a game where it was a basketball shooting game and Negan slowly pulled his hand from Y/N’s.

“You want the bear?” Negan confirmed and Sam shook her head. “You don’t?”

“I think you should get it for her,” Sam pointed at Y/N making her laugh when she did. “That’s what good boyfriends do, right?”

“Do you want the bear?” Negan looked over his shoulder at Y/N, but before she could answer Sam was tugging at Negan motioning him to lower down closer to her.

“You’re not supposed to ask if she wants it, you are just supposed to win it for her and then give it to her. That way you look impressive,” Sam pat Negan on the shoulder and Negan let out an amused sound before grinning.

Doing what Sam suggested, Negan went and did whatever the rules were to get the bear was and surprisingly enough, he got it. Negan was good at basketball which was something that Y/N didn’t expect because she thought Negan was originally training to be a baseball player.  Negan moved across the way and held the bear out to Y/N.

“My dear, this is for you,” Negan held out the bear and Y/N accepted the bear before Negan looked down at Sam. “Was that good?”

“I think you should have kissed her,” Sam pointed out and Negan snorted before stepping forward to look over Y/N. Leaning forward Negan quickly pecked Y/N, his eyes hooked on hers when he slowly pulled away. “Better, you’ll get the hang of this dating thing soon.”

“Well, I’m glad I have the love guru here to tell me how to do things,” Negan snorted, reaching out to wrap his arm around Y/N’s shoulders to pull her in closer to him. Sam wanted to go on a ride and Negan urged Y/N to stay with him while Sam went. While they stood at the edge watching, Negan moved behind Y/N to wrap his arms tightly around her waist. He nuzzled his nose against the side of her neck and pressed a kiss against her flesh. “I’m sorry if that has been uncomfortable at all for you. I know we’re not technically dating, but with Sam…”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” she interrupted him and reached down to slide her hands in over his and found herself leaning further back into his chest. Turning slowly in his arms, she reached out to trace her fingers in over the side of his face and Negan smirked. “I’m actually quite the opposite. I’ve enjoyed this probably more than I should of.”

“Good. You’re a very special girl,” Negan muttered, his eyelids heavy as he stared deeply into her eyes. His thumb slid in over her bottom lip and traced over it in a slow fashion. Leaning down, he captured her lips in a kiss. The loud sounds of the fair seemed to drown out as Negan took his time kissing her. Clutching to him tightly, everything felt perfect in the moment. The tender caress of his fingertips, to the motions of his lips over hers getting stronger with each passing second that their kiss continued. Brushing her fingers through his hair with her right hand while her left arm hooked securely around his shoulders, she found herself falling into his chest. They had progressed so much in the last few days. At first Negan was afraid to kiss her, but now he kissing her quite often. Kissing her in ways that absolutely took her breath away. The sound of the ride moving was heard and Negan pulled his mouth from hers to lift his head up to watch Sam. “I’m glad I got to see the two of you interacting. I was worried at first that you wouldn’t be okay with being around kids because Sam is a big part of my life.”

“She’s a pretty incredible girl,” Y/N kissed Negan one final time before turning in his arms to watch Sam having what seemed to be the time of her life on the ride. “It’s very nice that Elaina and Jane still let you spend so much time with her. I’m glad they do. The two of you have a special bond and I love it.”

“Me too,” Negan hummed against the side of her neck before cuddling his chin in against her shoulder. “After Lucille died, that little girl is the only thing that kept me hanging on.”

Y/N didn’t say anything; she just looked down to see the golden ring that was still around Negan’s finger. Biting at her bottom lip, she knew that Negan still seemed to be hooked pretty heavily on his wife. Negan was a beautiful mess. A perfect, beautiful…mess. Yet she liked him more because of it.

Being held in Negan’s arms felt amazing. In the moment, she didn’t feel like they had a compromise that they would help each other out. Instead of being the girl he was paying to be around him, she actually did feel like she was his girlfriend. Surprisingly, she liked it. Feeling that way made her feel special. Like she was important to someone for the first time in her life. Originally, she didn’t plan on getting so attached to Negan, but it was hard not falling fast for him.

When Sam got back they went on multiple rides together this time. It was nice getting to spend time with people that actually felt like a family. With her own family, Y/N felt like they were broken. Like they had shattered a long time ago in terms of relationships, but with Negan and Sam the missing puzzle in her life felt like all the pieces were together.

“Are you having fun?” Sam looked up at Y/N with big eyes while they waited for Negan who was getting cotton candy for them. Immediately, Y/N nodded. She was truly having a good time. “You know he really likes you, right? I can see it in the way he looks at you. It’s not just me trying to get him together with someone because I want him happy. I just can see he really cares about you. I haven’t seen him look like this since he lost my aunt. Usually he’s just sad.”

“I really like him too,” Y/N claimed knowing that Sam loved her uncle and wanted to make sure that he was just happy.

“What are we talking about?” Negan came back, handing out the cotton candy to them. Reaching out, Negan stole some of Y/N’s and plopped it into his mouth. A wide, crooked grin pressed in over his handsome features after he finished with it.

“You,” Y/N answered truthfully and Negan snorted.

“All good things, I hope,” Negan winked and Sam looked up at Y/N with big eyes.

For the rest of the night, time seemed to pass exceedingly fast because they were enjoying themselves so much. By the end of the night, Y/N was sitting beside Negan on the Ferris wheel and Sam insisted being alone to herself so the two of them could be together.

“You are fucking beautiful, you know that?” Negan slurred, his eyes hooked on her as she shifted in the seat when the wheel came to a stop. They were at the top giving them a view of the whole fair that surrounded them down below from the night sky. “I’m glad we could do this the last few days.”

“Me too,” she whispered letting out a surprised breath when Negan moved in to press a kiss over her cheek. His kisses pressed down over her jawline before she turned in to meet him in another kiss. It was a simple, sweet kiss, but she liked kissing him. “This has all been so different compared to what I thought would be going on between us.”

“Would you even want to date a guy like me?” Negan’s right eyebrow arched up and he was speaking quiet enough so Sam wouldn’t be able to hear him. “With all the baggage I’m carrying.”

“Is that even something I should be considering with the set-up we have going on?” Y/N bit down on her bottom lip knowing that she had gotten her hopes up before with them.

“That doesn’t really answer the question. I asked if you would want to date a guy like me,” Negan reminded her, his eyebrows arched up when he spoke. “I’m not saying you have to, I’m just interested in knowing if you would ever be interested. I’m older. I’ve got baggage. I’m a little broken.”

“I think you’re perfect Negan,” she blurt out and knew that she should have really thought it out before she said it, but when she did say it the smile that expanded over his features was gorgeous. There was a bit of a cockiness in the way he reacted, but he liked hearing her say that. “I like you. There’s a lot to like. Even if you are broken.”

“Is that because you find me attractive?” Negan slid in closer to her when the ride started moving again and she could feel the warmth of his breath in her face.

“If I said your looks didn’t play a part in how I felt, I would be a fucking liar,” she admitted hearing Negan snort when his mouth was exceedingly close to hers. “You’re very gorgeous, but spending time with you like this…you’re more than just looks.”

“Good answer,” Negan slurred, claiming her lips in another kiss that drew her to grasp at his hair. They seemed to continue to kiss and the rest of the world just faded away for her. Kissing Negan was something that she enjoyed greatly. Negan knew what he was doing. In the past she really hadn’t enjoyed sharing moments like these, but everyone she had kissed in the past had never been quite as good as Negan was. If you would have told her when this thing first started that she would be this attached to Negan, she would have never believed you. Yes, she was exceedingly turned on by him the first moment she had seen him, but she just wanted to be by him and with him. When the Ferris wheel had stopped, they broke apart noticing that it was time to get off. Negan could see that she blushed over when the people working the ride waited patiently for them to stop and it made him snicker. “Come on baby girl.”

Following him off the ride they waited for Sam and when she approached them, her bright green eyes were hooked on Negan’s, “Were the two of you just making out and holding up the ride?”

“No,” Negan lied and chuckled to himself, reaching his free hand out to Sam to grab hers while his other hand held onto Y/N’s. “I think we’re winding down here kiddo. Your mom is going to come and pick you up in the morning. If you’re absolutely exhausted she is going to kill me.”

“A few more games, then we can go. Okay?” Sam reasoned and Negan nodded. They ended up staying longer than he probably planned. Negan had a hard time saying no to Sam, but within reason.

When they finally did get back to Negan’s home, all three of them kind of crashed on Negan’s bed together on top of the blankets after talking about their day. When morning finally came the girls had woken up first and decided to let Negan sleep. They had agreed to go clean up the fort for Negan and it was nice to actually spend some time alone with Sam.

“I think my uncle made a good choice with you,” Sam alerted Y/N from where she was at the other side of the couch putting one of the cushions back where it belonged. “You kind of worry about the people you care about and who they are dating. I’ve seen a lot of nice people date some nasty people, but you…you’re special.”

“As are you kiddo,” Y/N gave Sam a wink knowing that it felt good to hear that Negan’s niece thought highly of her. Part of her felt that maybe this was kind of a test to see how things would be if she was in Negan’s life as more of a permanent role. Why would Negan have her around otherwise? Either way, she liked it and the feeling it gave her. Feeling like she was part of a family was something nice. Something she never knew that she would actually like. “I hope to get to spend more time with you and Negan in the future.”

“Me too,” Sam helped finishing up, but when the sound of the doorbell ringing was heard Sam let out a tense breath. “That’s mom.”

Rushing to the door, Sam pulled it open and Y/N shifted uncomfortably when Sam’s mother walked into the room. Sam pushed into her mother’s lower back and pushed her toward Y/N. The bright green eyes and the physical similarities to the photo Negan had on his fireplace mantle of him and the woman together led her to believe this was Lucille’s sister.

“Mom, this is Y/N and she’s Negan girlfriend,” Sam was eager to introduce the two of them and Elaina laughed when her daughter was eager for them to meet. “Y/N, this is my mother Elaina.”

“I’ve heard so much about you,” Y/N extended her hand to shake Elaina’s. She probably came off shy, but this was someone who was actually a big part of Negan’s life and she was the sister to Negan’s late wife. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s great to meet you too,” Elaina smiled and before they could talk any further the sound of footsteps coming around the corner was heard. Negan’s tired eyes connected with Elaina’s and he offered up a weak smile. His messy hair showed that he had just woken up making Elaina chuckle when saw him. “You’re looking very energetic this morning.”

“Tell me about it,” Negan groaned rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand before moving forward. Wrapping his arms around Elaina’s shoulders, he hugged her tightly and then looked back. “Have you met…?”

“Sam just introduced us,” Elaina nodded and shoved her hands into her pockets while she looked between them. “Did you have a good weekend baby?”

“I sure did! We had a lot of fun,” Elaina informed her mom with a bright smile.

“You should go get your bag baby, we have to meet your mother somewhere,” Elaina informed Sam with a tilt of her head toward the door.

“I’ll get it with you,” Y/N suggested leaving Negan to be with Sam’s mother for a few minutes alone. When Sam and Y/N disappeared down the hallway, Negan could sense that Elaina’s eyes were locked on him.

“What?” Negan snorted with a wrinkled nose when Elaina folded her arms out in front of her chest.

“Since when have you had a girlfriend? We talk all the time and I’ve never heard about your girlfriend. Please don’t tell me that you have a one night stand here with Sam,” Elaina whispered and Negan hushed her placing his finger in front of his lips to keep her quiet. “Negan?”

“She’s not a one night stand. We haven’t even slept together yet. She’s not my girlfriend, but she’s something,” Negan confessed, his brow line creasing when he thought about his agreement with Y/N. That wasn’t something he was about to tell Lucille’s sister though. She would definitely look down on him for it. “I just got sick of being lonely and we’re…helping each other. You know how hard it is for me to get close to people after Lucille.”

“Oh, she’s something? Well I think she’s cute. She seems sweet and shy, kid of not your type,” Elaina responded with a wrinkle of her nose and Negan chuckled.

“You just haven’t heard her when she gets excited. I swear the first time I heard her talk I thought I was listening to Lucille,” Negan recalled how he had heard her having an argument with her father the first time he had seen her. The side eye glance that Elaina gave him made him toss his hands up in the air. “Yes, she reminds me of Lucille, but trust me she’s so…different as well.”

“Try giving this one a chance, okay? If you’re willing to have her around Sam, that’s…big,” Elaina pointed out and Negan’s thick eyebrows bounced up. He bit down firmly on his bottom lip and let out a long sigh. “I think Lucille would decide that maybe it was time for you to let go and finally find some happiness.”

“I think Lucille would rather me be pining over her for the rest of my life. She liked being the center of my world,” Negan corrected Elaina and he heard her laugh when he said that. “You know I’m right. I think Lucille fully expected me to be broken for the rest of my life after losing her.”

“I also know that while my sister was very spicy, I know she loved you and would want you to be happy,” Elaina watched Sam return with her bag with Y/N by her side. Right before she left, Sam gave Y/N a big hug and Elaina gave Negan an impressed look by how much Sam seemed to like Y/N. “Well it was a pleasure to meet you Y/N. I hope I see you again.”

“It was nice to meet you too,” Y/N grinned watching Negan kneel down and Sam ran to Negan’s arms for him to pick her up in his arms. He grunted when he spun Sam and peppered kisses over the side of her face.

“I love you kiddo,” Negan pressed a final kiss over Sam’s face hearing her laugh when he did it. “Call me later, okay?”

“I promise,” Sam gave Negan a final big hug before he carefully set her down and they fist bumped. It made Y/N impressed with how close the two of them actually were. When Sam left, Negan actually seemed a little sad as he watched them walk to the car from the door.

“You okay?” Y/N moved in behind Negan to press her hand in over his shoulder to give it a firm squeeze to be supportive and Negan nodded slowly. “That’s an incredible little girl. Thank you for letting me be around.”

“And thank you for being so good this weekend with her,” Negan sighed reaching for his back pocket to pull out his wallet. Y/N watched him open it to pull out a wad of cash after counting it. Negan held it out making her tilt her head to the side. Her throat locked up when she looked down at the money. “I promised you two-fifty for every day you spent with me. So…this is yours.”

“Oh, right,” Y/N felt absolutely terrible even hearing him say that. Even though she knew this was their ‘compromise’, after spending all weekend with him and Sam, she kind of forgot about it. Undoubtedly, her face had flushed over. Pocketing the money that Negan gave her, she had a hard time looking him in the eye after he gave her the money. While she knew this was the deal they came up with, part of her would have rather the lie they gave Sam be the truth. Instead of being paid to spend time with him, she may have enjoyed the idea of them dating instead of what they actually had going on better.

Negan put his wallet back in his back pocket and he looked at the time, “I have work in a few hours, but if you want we can have breakfast? I can cook something really nice for you. What do you say?”

“I should probably get out of your hair,” she muttered and she saw the expression he gave her was one she couldn’t quite read. His eyebrows bounced up and his jaw locked up before he followed her toward the door when she went to leave. “I had a nice time Negan.”

“Me too,” Negan gave her a wink and he leaned down to give her a kiss, but she turned her head away and he let out a confused sound. Negan’s hazel eyes surveyed her over when she opened the door and he seemed to stand there not sure what to do now that she had turned him away. “Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?” she stopped on his porch seeing the way he clutched to the doorknob.

“Did I do something wrong?” Negan wondered, clearly worried that he had done something. Truthfully, he had done nothing wrong, he was just keeping up his end of the deal they had going on. It just felt so dirty when it finally did happen and she didn’t like the way it made her feel. Shaking her head, she said nothing. What was there to say at this point? Negan appeared to be disappointed and very confused by everything, but sighed when she started to leave. “I guess I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Right,” she waved before walking out the door and heading back to her home.

She went immediately to her room and set the money he gave her on the bed. It was a significant amount of money to spend time with someone she actually found herself liking. Moving over toward the window, she saw Negan standing on the porch smoking and he looked flustered. Maybe she was wrong in leaving like that, but knowing that their relationship still consisted of this whole money thing just made her feel strange at the end. Especially since she felt like she cared about Negan more than she really should have.

----

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I was talking with @himboskywalker​ about Tolkien and fandom and fic, because I’m always curious where people’s “area” of the wider Legendarium are at, whether they’re a fan of the Dwarves or the Humans or the Elves or the Valar or what!  (As a surprise to absolutely no one, the Elves are where my heart is at, where I very much love the Noldor, but if you give me a choice I’m going to run over to that Sindar-centric fic every time.) Which got us onto the topic of fic recs, where, yes, I’ve done a LOT of Tolkien fic recs but I tend to read something of a wide variety and this is a list specifically aimed at those who are familiar with the wider Tolkien world, but haven’t really read much fic and want to know where to start! Other Recs First: - If you haven’t gotten further into Tolkien’s work (like say beyond the movies), I’ve done something of a primer here, which includes fic recs and brief explanations and links to videos that help explain some things.  It’s not as hard as it seems to get involved, honest! - Some other fic recs here, as an addition to the above. - My Tolkien blog (which I haven’t been on in awhile, though, I haven’t let it go in my heart yet) has, I’m not kidding, A LOT of fic recs, I did recs regularly for about three years, so it’s almost as massive as my collection of SW recs. If I Could Only Pick Three To Start You With: ✦ And What Happened After by thearrogantemu - This is the fic that took me from enjoying the Silm characters to diving face-first into really loving them, because it wove such an engaging story about the characters sailing to Aman at the end of LOTR, where various characters you wouldn’t think interacting would be as meaningful as they are, but the fic absolutely sells them on it.  Frodo and Feanor having a conversation about language?  Sam and Maglor sharing a boat to the West?  These things are amazing, as this is a fic about healing and what it means to sail into the Undying Lands.  Also, it has a Feanor and Fingolfin reunion that literally put tears in my eyes. ✦ Interrupted Journeys by ellisk - I’m generally not someone who does a lot of rereading of fic just because I have so many new ones to get to, but I’ve read my favorites in this series (parts 3 to 5 are my sweet spot especially) probably four times through now because “Elfling Legolas growing up in Greenwod with a whole cast of characters around him, as the Shadow so very, very slowly creeps towards them” may sound somewhat simple, but the worldbuilding here is off the scale.  The weaving in of how much the First Age and various Elven politics influenced Thranduil’s ruling of a Silvan people is a major theme, but it’s also good parents raising that precious Elfling right and he and his cousins+friends getting into all sorts of mischief, so it’s balanced between humor and drama in the exact amounts I want.  You can skip the first two fics and jump into the third if you like, which is when Legolas is introduced, but I enjoy the whole thing. ✦ Return to Aman OR Quenta Narquelion by bunn - I can’t pick between these two, they’re both incredible.  Return to Aman is basically “Elrond grabs Maglor and drags him to Aman with them” and it breaths such incredible lift into all the characters of Aman, it doesn’t negate the terrible things the Feanorians did, but neither does it negate Elrond’s love for them and his biological family, too.  It’s another fic that’s about healing and forgiveness and it made me glow to read it.  Quenta Narquelion is basically “Feanor refused the call of Mandos after he died and everything started to snowball from there” and it’s an absolutely heartbreaking look at all our Problematic Fave Feanorians and how they were once good people trying to do the best they could, but bit by bit they slipped into the dark.  It’s especially amazing for capturing the complexities of Feanor, as he hovers over his children as a spirit and it really brought me around on his character. The Silmarillion and other First Age Batshit Faves: ✦ The Starlit Sky by Cirth is the fic that really made me get the potential of reading about Maedhros and Maglor raising Elrond and Elros, where it does such a fantastic job of showing that there was genuine affection there, even the midst of all the angst and trauma and pain.  You really get why Elrond could never give up on them, after reading this fic. ✦ In Courts of Living Stone by ncfan - “What if Maeglin never left Nan Elmoth and instead, several decades later, found himself on an errand to Menegroth and developed a relationship with Finduilas instead?” isn’t a fic I expected to capture my heart, but boy did it ever.  Beautiful characterization and beautiful writing, it really captured my imagination, but also gave me ALLLLLL the Maeglin feelings, as well as made me pine that this Finduilas couldn’t have been more common in fandom. ✦ naught but the shores and the sea by ncfan is more of Elrond and Maglor, where it’s an AU that has Elrond finding Maglor after the disastrous attempt to recover the Silmarils and I loved it a lot. ✦ The Crane Wife by Trebia is one that takes an underused character from Tolkien (Lalwen, in this case) and breathes this incredible life into her, gives her personality and joy and sorrow and meaning and, look, any fic that can convince me that Thranduil would marry a Noldo and utterly believe it, you know it’s well-written! The Second Age Is Kind of Quiet in Fandom But I Love It Regardless: ✦ The Art of Long-Distance Grandparenting by Kazaera is a lovely and bittersweet (but mostly lighter in tone) fic about the separation of the Sea between family members and does a wonderful job with Idril’s character, as she tries to stay connected to her grandchildren while being so distant from them and unable to see them, unless they choose to come to Aman.  There’s joy to be found here and it’s a lovely read. ✦ Relativity by French Pony is a lovely look at the final meeting between Elrond and Elros and strikes the right amount of bittersweetness, where it’s awkward and difficult and heartbreaking, but also feels natural and like this was how it was meant to be.  I had many, many Elven Twin feelings during the whole thing.  (I like all their fic, they’re worth checking out their other stuff for, too!) ✦ A Thing or Two About Elrond by Crookneck is a series of fics about Elrond and the various relationships he has--with Celebrian, with his children, with Gil-Galad, etc.--and I remember being really charmed by all of them and how much shit Elrond has seen over the course of his life. The Third Age, Lord of the Rings Version: ✦ Boromir's Return by Osheen Nevoy - This one is sort hard to summarize, but it’s basically “Boromir lives, makes a friend, and slowly changes everything about the LOTR plot”, but it’s so much more than that, where the worldbuilding is phenomenal, the pacing is incredible, it made me fall in love with Boromir as a character all over again, it contains probably the best portrayal of Denethor I’ve ever read in fandom, and I really loved the OC and so on.  It’s utterly engrossing and honestly I cannot recommend it highly enough, even if you’re not usually into this sort of thing. ✦ The River by Indigo Bunting is a fic where Legolas and Sam get separated from the others for a brief time and I love fics that take two characters who don’t interact much, throw them into an intense situation, and sees what happens.  It’s not precisely a light-hearted fic, it’s very intense, but it’ll make you fall in love with the sheer good in both characters and the friendship they develop.  It’s brilliantly written and I cannot recommend it enough. ✦ A Bit of Rope by Aiwendiel is a fic where Gandalf doesn’t fall at Moria and it changes everything--not necessarily for the better.  The slow, creeping sense of things changing, things going just a little bit worse here and there, until you realize how much darker the Fellowship’s journey could have been, was brilliantly done, and one I thought did justice to the idea, it’s not grimdark, there’s still light and hope here, but it makes you feel like, oh, maybe things happened as they did for a reason, even as hard as that seemed sometimes.  Gorgeously plotted and utterly engrossing. The Third Age, Mirkwood Version: ✦ daw the minstrel has an entire series of fics about Legolas growing up in Mirkwood and there’s absolutely a reason why she was one of the most well-known authors in that corner of fandom.  Her ability to create new characters (including two brothers for Legolas) was incredible, I cared so much about the family dynamics and got swept up in the drama (which was in a very loving family, but Legolas was definitely a mischief-seeker) and they’re fantastic.  If you find yourself in something of a stretch with too many OCs and your attention wavers, you can always skip around, they don’t have to be read in order and a lot of the non-canon characters can be skimmed over, imo. ✦ In a Field of Blood and Stone by ScribeofArda is so much better than what The Hobbit movies gave us of the Battle of Five Armies, it does such beautiful justice to the complicated character of Thranduil and Legolas, not sacrificing the warmth there for how difficult these times are and the war they find themselves in the middle of.  This Bard is also really engaging and fun to read--I read pretty much the entire novel’s worth in, like, a day or two because I could not put this one down. ✦ Swordplay and Swimming by cliodna_bright has an incredible meeting where Thranduil comes to visit Rivendell, runs into Elladan and Elrohir, who are young enough that they speak without thinking, and it’s not precisely a humor fic, but I was screaming the entire time because it’s so sharply written and so absolutely delightful, I LOVE IT. ✦ Deep and Crisp and Even by rivlee made me fall in love with how Elves and humans may look very similar, but there’s this sense of otherworldliness to the Elves, as shown through Bard’s eyes when he has a meeting with Thranduil.  Beautifully written and just the right amount of atmospheric. The Fourth Age Where Everything Actually Does Mostly Work Out: ✦ Far Horizons by Bodkin is the Fourth Age fic of my heart, where the various Elves that we came to know in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit are all in Aman and decide to build their own realm there.  Which is difficult because Elven Politics even just amongst themselves, much less clashing with all the established politics of the other Elven realms in Aman!  But it’s a light-hearted fic (for the most part) that’s about healing and moving forward, balancing their ties to their history versus that Middle-Earth changed them, and I love it for soothing my soul.  (Thranduil sailed, you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)(Bonus moments of Glorfindel being pretty hilarious.)  I like all of bodkin’s work, but this one has a special place with me. ✦ Age of Healing by trollmela is one where Maedhros and Legolas have a conversation in Aman and it’s about the bittersweetness of healing and how difficult it is, taking two characters who would never have met in canon and weaving something entirely engaging and poignant out of it. Collections That Span The Ages: ✦ This Taste of Shadow by Mira_Jade - This is a collection of dozens of various shorter stories (or sometimes 10k “ficlets”) that you can largely skip around in if you have specific characters you like or you can just start at the beginning and read through.  It contains looks at pretty much everyone, from Maedhros to Galadriel to Thranduil to Elrond to Caranthir to Glorfindel to the Valar, etc.  I’ve enjoyed pretty much everything I’ve read in this collection! ✦ Fiondil's Tapestry and Tales from Vairë's Loom by Fiondil are in the same vein and I have really enjoyed everything I’ve read from both of them!  I especially remember that there was one chapter that had a scene between Thranduil and Cirdan and thinking, ahhhh, why has no one ever written that before!? as an example of the neat things it does.  But also lots about Elrond and Glorfindel and the Valar and so on! This probably doesn’t feel like a super extensive list, but those collection series will give you an excellent spanning of Elves, Humans, Dwarves, Hobbits, etc., not just the same central characters, but giving time to a lot of lesser focused ones as well.  Like, I feel I’ve read a fair chunk of Elwing fic, but I couldn’t point you to a specific one in my list of recs, which means I’m pretty sure it was in the collections ones or else she got some good scenes in one of the Aman-based fics, so I swear the above is at least a solid place to start for dipping one’s toe into Tolkien fic. AS ALWAYS, OTHER PEOPLE’S RECS ARE WELCOME, god knows I haven’t read anything in the last two years (and will have missed a lot even before that) and so I always need more recs, too!

Ch1: Eyes

(i have decided to use this year’s dannymay prompts to write all about my clone oc niel, because why the heck not, im pretty invested in him so far. i wasnt sure if this was worth it since only a few people showed interest in him, except those who did were REALLY interested, so this is for you 😘)

(also on ao3!)

(next)

Vlad was hosting some rich club party, which was why the hall was filled with swarms of boring adult millionaires milling about. Niel stood in the corner, wearing a trimmed suit (which he didn't mind), trying his best not to interact with the many strangers in the room (whom he did mind). His dad had made him greet their guests, and all of them ogled the son of the mayor like he was an exotic pet. Niel decided that even though he was one of them, he didn't like rich people very much. So here he was, standing against the wall, trying his best to seem invisible without actually turning invisible.

Apparently, he was still noticeable, because someone said, "You're Niel, right?"

Niel would have considered fleeing, but he realized the person had called him by his chosen name, and not Daniel like his dad always introduced him as. He looked up and held his breath as he came face to face with a teenage girl wearing the most intense black makeup he had ever seen.

She looked around sixteen, Danny's age, and had black hair and purple eyes. For some reason, she was wearing a frilly pink dress, the exact opposite of her spiked hair and angry black eyeliner.

The frankly intimidating girl scrutinized Niel with her violet eyes and said, "Wow, you really do look just like Danny. Except for the eyes. Yours are a bit darker."

It had come to Niel's attention that this was the first girl close to his age that he had interacted with. He attempted to keep his teenage hormones in control and straightened himself, trying to look professional.

"You're one of Danny's friends?" he guessed.

The girl smirked and stuck out a hand. "Sam Manson," she introduced herself.

Her nails were painted black, like the rest of her makeup. Niel shook her hand, then yelped as she tugged him across the room. "Where are we going?"

"I'm bored," she said simply, like that answered everything. She looked at him with half-lidded eyes. He wondered if she was wearing contacts, because those eyes were really purple and really prett--

Control yourself, Niel chastised himself. He didn't know much about Danny's friends, but for what he did know, this girl could be Danny's girlfriend. He didn't want to date Danny's girlfriend.

"You live in this mansion, right?" Sam spoke, shaking him out of his thoughts. "Don't you know anyplace we can hang out away from all these adults?"

"Dad told me I should stay around."

"And you actually listen to your parents?"

Wow, those eyes are really pretty--but he shook that thought away. He gulped and looked over his shoulder to where Vlad was standing, talking with some people about boring money stuff. Niel might have enjoyed spending money, but he didn't care about hearing about stocks and bonds or whatever, which he guessed everyone in this room enjoyed chatting about.

Vlad didn't glance in his direction at all. He probably wouldn't have noticed it if Niel decided to leave for the airport right then.

He turned back to Sam, who was still waiting for a reply. He smiled and said, "We can go to my bedroom upstairs." Then he realized the implication of that, blushed and quickly added, "To hang out, of course. Nothing lewd or anything."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd know what lewd even means. Aren't you, like, a few months old?"

Niel frowned. Why did everyone who knew about his clone status always enjoy bringing up his age?

"I read," Niel retorted. "I've read some things in Vlad's library."

"Wow. I'm pretty sure that has to be, like, illegal or something. Vlad lets you read that stuff?"

"Vlad doesn't care about me," Niel said, then felt a sharp pang in his core. He wondered how his past self would have reacted if he told him that. Niel had always looked up to his dad, but that was probably because he was the only person he knew, and also before he talked to Danny and learned about...Danielle.

Sam watched him quietly. "So," she finally said, "upstairs?"

Niel nodded and forced a smile on his face. He led her to the mansion's stairway and up the steps until they reached his room.

Sam whistled when she saw the large flatscreen TV and gaming consoles that spread across the wall. "Nice gameset," she said. "I don't know why I'm surprised. Danny would have bought the exact same stuff if he were rich."

There she went again, comparing him to Danny. He figured it made sense, considering Danny was her friend and he was his clone, but Niel still found himself sulking as he sat on his king-size bed.

"Those are just dumb gifts from my dad," he grumbled. "Aren't you rich, too?"

Sam shrugged. "My parents are rich, all right, but they don't really like allowing me to buy anything. It's dumb. I'm old enough to take care of myself." She rolled her eyes and said, "Parents, am I right?"

Niel crossed his arms and watched her wander around his room. "You know I'm a clone of your friend, but you're treating me normally."

"How do you want me to treat you?" She threw her hands up in front of her melodramatically and said in a bland tone, "Ahh, a genetic double of my best friend created by his arch nemesis. He must be eeeviiillll."

Niel's lips tugged upward at Sam's acting. She smiled and said, "Danny told me about you. You don't sound scary at all."

Niel rubbed his neck. "He talks about me? Does he think I'm weird?"

"A guy who wears expensive suits to sleep? Of course he thinks you're weird."

"I don't...I mean, doesn't he find it weird that I'm his clone?"

Sam plopped next to him on his bed. Her dress was crumpled, but she apparently didn't care about that. "Dude, you aren't the first clone of Danny. We're all pretty used to the whole clone idea from Danielle."

"Yeah, but Danielle is..."

"A girl?"

"...different."

Sam leaned on an elbow and asked, "You're saying you aren't? Heck, you're probably more genetically different than her from Danny, if you really have Vlad's DNA in you."

Niel looked down sullenly. "I wish Dad thinks that."

Sam's eyebrows lowered. "The way Danny told it, I thought you basically extolled Vlad."

Niel sighed. "I thought he cared about me...then I realized he only likes me because I look like Danny." He shrunk in on himself and added, "That probably sounds stupid, doesn't it? I'm a clone of Danny, of course I'm supposed to be like him."

"Absolutely not," Sam said, and she said it with such resolution that Niel looked up in surprise. She got off the bed and placed her hands on her hips. "Sure, you're genetically similar to Danny, but genes should never dictate how you're treated if you don't want it that way."

"Um, okay," Niel said, a little put off by how ambitious she sounded about the subject. His shoulders drooped, and he added, "But Vlad..."

"Vlad thinks you're just like Danny? Then prove to him that you aren't."

"How?"

Sam smirked and gestured down at her dress. "You like my look?"

"It's...an interesting choice of wardrobe," Niel said.

"I didn't pick the dress; my mom did. She always wants me to be all proper and feminine and whatever. I figured I might as well humor her this time, but just because I agreed to wear her dumb dress doesn't mean I have to look the way she wants me to." She gestured to her makeup and said with a grin, "I found a way to remind them of who I really am. Wearing a dress they picked for me will never change that."

Niel observed her dress and makeup more closely. He had to admit, that was a pretty clever loophole. Still. "You're saying I should wear goth makeup?"

"That wasn't exactly what I was trying to say...but why not? You're already wearing eyeliner," she said and brought a hand forward to poke at the black ink surrounding his eyes. He flinched away and blushed.

"I think they bring out my eyes," he said defensively.

"They do," Sam agreed, appreciating his makeup work. He did feel pretty proud of that. "But if you add a little more, then they'll pop out so much, your dad will have no choice but to turn his eyes toward you."

"You really think dressing like you will change his mind?"

"Not necessarily," she admitted. "But it will definitely shock him, at least."

Shock him. For some reason, Niel liked the idea of that. He looked at Sam's wild makeup and spiked hair again and hesitated.

Sam noticed and said with a smirk, "What's wrong? Is the goth look too scary for you?"

Niel huffed and straightened himself. "I've read Dracula, Frankenstein, and most other classic works of horror literature. I'm not scared by goth."

"Then prove it," Sam challenged with a serious expression, but that was quickly broken by the smile that spread over her face.

Niel smiled back.

.

The Mansons, Vlad decided, were useless. The only reason the couple were rich was because one of their parents had invented that twirling toothbrush, but when it came to doing work, they didn't know a thing about money.

Vlad was almost glad when that goth girl Danny always hung out with came up to them. He was getting bored from hearing her mother drone about some salon she went to.

"Hey there, Mom and Dad. Hey there, Fruitloop."

Vlad's mouth twitched. It seemed that Daniel (Fenton, not his son Daniel) must have thought it funny to get his friends to use his annoying nickname for Vlad. The mayor hid his irritation under a smile and said, "Why, if it isn't Fenton's female friend."

"Hey, I'm your son's friend now, too."

Vlad raised an eyebrow. The girl was grinning now. He realized someone was hiding behind her back.

"Daniel?" he asked.

Sam stepped aside with her arms out and said, "Say hello to the real Niel!"

Vlad choked. It was Daniel, all right, but--"What happened to your hair?!"

His oh-so-perfect creation was wearing eyeliner so thick it made his eyes look like black holes, and was that also lipstick on his lips? He was fairly sure he didn't own any lipstick of that dark shade, which meant he must have borrowed it from the Manson girl. And his hair. It was tousled up and--oh Ancients--shaved on one side.

"Hello, father," he said in a sulky voice, and Vlad wondered if he had practiced that tone with Manson before coming to them.

Speaking of Manson, her parents looked moritified. Pamela chuckled nervously and said, "I'm so sorry about that, Mister Masters." She shot her daughter a glare, but Sam just responded with a cheeky grin.

Vlad coughed, loudly, before he regained himself. "It's all right," he told Pamela, but he glared at Daniel. "Excuse us. Daniel, could you come speak with me somewhere private?"

Daniel's expression seemed to morph into worry for a split second, but Sam sent him a reassuring smile, and he relaxed. Vlad frowned. He would have to be careful about letting the two interact in the future.

Daniel followed him out the hall and into an empty hallway. Vlad stopped and stood over him.

He took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then said as gently as possible, "What the sweet butter biscuits, Daniel?"

"It's Niel," his son muttered, and this time his broodiness didn't seem practiced.

Vlad frowned. He didn't know why Daniel was so insistent on that nickname. It wasn't even spelled correctly--the E should come before the I, and Neil isn't really a nickname one would expect to come from Daniel. "Yes, I believe you've told me that before," Vlad muttered, "but--"

"But you never get it, do you?" He crossed his arms and growled, "You keep naming me after Danny."

There was that angry tone again. He had no idea why, but Daniel had been less than friendly to him ever since that night in the restaurant...

Vlad scowled and informed him, "Of course I would. You're his clone."

"But I don't want to be." He was avoiding Vlad's gaze now, and Vlad thought he heard something in his tone besides anger...sadness. "That's the thing, Dad. I have his genes, but I'm not Danny. And I--I just want to be your son, not your creation."

"That's absurd. You're my son because you're my creation."

The boy flinched. Vlad realized he must be serious about wanting to differentiate himself from Danny.

He wasn't sure how to feel about that. He had guessed, since he used some of his own DNA to stabilize him during the cloning process, that Daniel would end up a little different from Danny, but the boy was beginning to seem even more rebellious than Danielle had been. At the rate this was going, he wouldn't be surprised if he were to follow his sister's example and run away...

Vlad sighed deeply. "Dan--...Niel," he corrected himself. The teen looked up at him in surprise as he continued, "I don't care if you're different from Danny. To be truthful, the only reason I had wanted him as my son so badly was because he's a hybrid, like me. I wanted an apprentice who can relate to my struggle, and Danny happened to provide the perfect blueprint. But I know you're not him, Niel, and I don't mind. You're still my son."

Niel blinked rapidly. Vlad's words must have deeply affected him, because black lines of ink ran down his cheeks where the tears spoiled his makeup. In a choked up voice, Niel said, "You called me by my name."

Was he really this emotional over a name? If Vlad had known, he would have called him by his silly nickname sooner. Niel shuffled to Vlad and enveloped him in a hug.

Vlad forced himself to push down his dislike of being touched and instead patted Niel in what he hoped was an affectionate manner. "That's right, son. Now can you get off me? I think your makeup is coming on my shirt."

Niel sniffed and tore himself away. "Sorry," he mumbled. He looked up at Vlad with glossy eyes, and Vlad was once again struck by how similar they were to his own, and how different they were from Danny's. "Did you really mean all that?"

Vlad wore a smile and said, "Of course. I would never want to be rid of such a perfect halfa like you."

Niel grinned. Good. The boy was happy, which meant Vlad could be content in knowing he won't run away like his other failed clone.

"Run along, now," Vlad told him now that their emotional conversation was over. "Oh, but wipe away that eyeliner first. You look like a blasted raccoon."

"Yes, Dad," Niel said happily and scurried off. Vlad looked down at his suit and wrinkled his nose at the tearstains that muddled his shirt.

At least Niel was no longer angry at him. That manson girl seemed like trouble, though, and Vlad didn't like how close the two teens appear to have become. He spent the rest of the day watching Niel with one eye, just in case.

THINKING ABOUT THAT ONE ME:A OC I WANTED TO MAKE SO HERE’S SOME RANDOM HEADCANONS FOR HIM UNTIL I CAN PLAY THE GAME AGAIN!!!

(Picrew used)

So! This is Samuel Ryder, our dearest pathfinder. 100% enemy of Alec, doesn’t have the biggest relationship with his mom, but he loves S.A.M, his twin, and his son (Also when someone says “Sam!” Both he and the AI bby respond, it can be very confusing).

He’s a bit of a grumpy butt, very tired, but he means well!!! Kinda blunt and serious a lot but he has a soft side and whoever gets to see that yet I have not decided! Jaal probably ngl, love that purple kitty alien!!! Or Gil cuz you can have a kid with him...Decisions decisions!!!

Samuel is reckless, tends to run headfirst into danger, and it is n o t good. He eventually gets it through his thick stubborn head though that he needs to stay alive because he has a child that needs him and so he cuts back on trying to be canon fodder and starts staying at the back lines, using his biotics. An ability which he, his twin and his son all have!!! Sam used to hate being biotic but he’s chill with it now, neutral. It can still get annoying and overwhelming and his biotics are so dang strong he gets horrible migraines but yeah he’s managing!

He also struggles with severe anxiety, chronic depression, PTSD and chronic pain, but honestly that’s to be expected at this point........ :>

AND! He did have a lovely partner, but they died about a year before the andromeda initiative which is what largely drove Samuel to it despite familial relations. Just desperate for a new start. Trying to outrun pain and the past isn’t always good ofc, but yknow...

This is his sibling! I do not have a name for them yet, kinda wanna go with Samantha Ryder tbh just to frustrate the whole team fjsgfbebf three Sams! What could go wrong!!!

But yeah this is Samuels sib, they’re very laid back and chill, very passionate, dye their hair crazy colours all the time, surprisingly not as crazy as their little brother in combat, and they adore their little nephew!!! I think they might romance Suvi or Vetra...

They were close with their mom, not so much their dad. They also grew up a lot faster than their brother, trying to bear the expectations Alec had for the twins to give Samuel (Or “Sammy” to them) a break. Since Samuel tended to suffer a lot with the pressure because of how strong his biotics are. Samantha (we’re going with it I have decided) is also a very strong biotics user, but not as strong as their bro. Still, a force to be reckoned with!!! Especially when they and Samuel work together

They’re kinda the person that dragged Samuel back, introducing the idea of the initiative to him. They honestly hadn’t expected him to agree to come to Andromeda, but were really delighted when he did. They also feel sort of guilty, because now their brother is feeling more pressure than ever, but it’s not their fault.

Samuel, Samantha and SAM also get up to sibling shenanigans like arguing or playing pranks and sometimes the three of them, plus kiddo plus LI’s, have movie nights! Ofc they also have movie nights where the whole crew is invited, but sometimes you just need some immediate family time yknow?

(Picrew used!!!)

And last but not least; this is said beloved kiddo!!! I haven’t got a name for him yet, but he looks v much like his father, gives no shits about gender roles (something he largely learned from Samantha tho his dad is chill too).

He’s a giant ball of sunshine and “reads” kids picture books to SAM, everyone on board absolutely adores him, he only met his grandpa and grandma once and he was terrified of Alec, and he misses his other parent but wears their favourite pearl necklace all the time so that helps!!!

When his papa isn’t on the ship he gets babysat by Gil OR by Tann on the Nexus because Tann surprisingly loves the little human and is very sweet to him and is willing to do this one (1) thing for Samuel. Other than that it’s argue town for the two stubborn dudes!

And in that pic he looks maybe like 9-10 but I think during the game he’s actually closer to 4. And you might be wondering two things; A) Samuels age and B) why was kiddo woke up when it was supposed to just be essential workers, and I have answers!

A) Samuel and Samantha are older than your normal baby Ryder, I’d say 22 is actually when Samuel met his partner, they have kiddo when they’re 24, and then partner dies at 27 thanks to an illness (yay fear of illnesses thanks to trauma for Sammy!), and the Sam Fam are 28 when the initiative happens (making them both a lil older than some of the crew I imagine, like Liam perhaps, but not by a lot since it’s usually clear that normal canon Ryder is pretty much one of the youngest on the crew).

And B) Technically Son Boi shouldn’t be awake, but Samuel started freaking out so badly about this fact after being woken up that he refused to go on the initial first mission, and well Alec did need him (even begrudgingly), so he put in the order for “the kid” to be revived, and he’s awake by the time Samuel gets back from Habitat 7 and is revived in SAM Node (So many teary hugs from both!!!).

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And that’s all I got! Thank u for listening to my TED Talk uwu (And feel free to reblog 👀 or send asks or DMs or whatever!!! Pls I crave ME:A interaction)