enemies to lovers ‘later in their life’ prompts
later in their life; post-book things like getting married, living together. feel free to use :)
“can you pass me the s—“ “no.” “………. at what point do you become mature?”
“i’m tireddd.” *in a whiny voice* “i’m tired.” *mocking them*
“hug?” “clingy, much?……” but hugs them anyway
random races. waking up and brushing? i’ll do it five hours before you even begin dreaming. walking to the kitchen to make breakfast? i can flip fifteen pancakes before you can blink.
“you said you loved me first, remember?” “…. did i?”
everything is still a competition. i don’t care if both our families are watching i can and will scarf this all down and beat you
“cant believe we fell in love. i swore i would never become this trope.” “who doesn’t love a good cliche?”
“kiss?” and an immediate joking “no” but they’re already leaning in with a small smile
both being very stubborn and like carbon copies of the other so small domestic things trip them up
^ like they’re both lying down on the couch like “who’s turn is it to do the dishes?” “… i think it’s yours.” “but i did them yesterday.” “no you most definitely did not—“
“i missed you.” and with a small smile, “really?” and an annoyed “no i’m lyin— WHAT DO YOU THINK???”
“must you argue with me about everything?” genuinely annoyed because they just want to choose what to eat for breakfast and the other one just wants to argue
BUT ALSO “must you argue with me about everything?” and it’s with the fondest smile ever as they run a hand through the other’s hair
“where are the onions?” “…. you called me at 2:00pm on a work day to ask me where the onions are??? WHEN YOU BOUGHT THEM LAST?????????” “… if you didn’t know where they were you could’ve just said that but whatever.”
“do you fancy getting married?” “do i f— DO I FANCY????? WE’RE NINETEEN.” “yeah but i love you.”
“did you do the laundry?” “did YOU do the laundry?” “oh splendid i’m married to a seven year old.”
a petty argument and the make-up being all reluctant
^ like “and by the way, i hate your new haircut.” and the other responding with a smile and a “yeah?” because they know with a glance that it’s not true at all
“i love you.” “… yeah. you too, i guess.” “….? say you love me.” “…” “i’m going to call your mom.” “… that is so low.”
it’s also important to have moments where they acknowledge that the enemies part is in the past and as much as they joke they both love each other very much
^“can we be serious for a second?” and an immediate sobering up
“i love you like, a crazy amount, you know.” “i love you even more.” “okay…. just let me have this one maybe.”
them learning each other’s hobbies & things they enjoy doing, going out of their way to learn and enjoy it too
“let’s go stargaze.” “i’d honestly rather do anything else.” but they go and just stare at the other one the whole time (and the other is aware)
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EVEN MORE south park headcanons
Cartman makes all the boys in his grade take am I gay quizzes
But makes a big spectacle of leaving tweek and craig out of it because "they're already homosexuals"
Stan has not once seen the inside of Shelly's room, he's terrified
Cartman tried learning pig latin to fuck with Kyle but he was absolutely horrible at it
Kenny draws nipples and pubes onto Barbie dolls
Butters is insanely good at chess but he is oblivious to how genuinely talented he is at it
He sucks at regular board games though
Kyle really likes Funko pops
Kenny watches drag race
Sharon absolutely adores Wendy
Bebe fucking hates Stan like she really has it out for him at all times
The main four go to McDonald's at least once a week and make butters pay for it
Kenny and Cartman watch the weirdest most disturbing shit in public
Like I'm talking two girls one cup level disturbing
Craig and Tweek having like mountains of pride merch because people will not stop giving it to them
Wendy is an inch and a half taller than Stan
Firkle has two moms
Tricia ADORES tweek like will not leave him and Craig alone
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✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦
Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman!
Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?!
Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch!
--
Someone: Hey Johnny.
Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can-
Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you.
Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?!
Soap: Pfft, maybe!
Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3
--
American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one.
The entire team: …
American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth*
Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?!
Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized!
Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*
--
Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?!
Laswell: It’s the best option we have.
Ghost: I disagree with this.
Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think.
Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’.
Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.
--
Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :(((
Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.
--
(In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)
Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure.
Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure?
Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands.
Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal.
Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…
--
Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T!
Ghost: …would you like to?
Soap: Eh-…huh?
Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean…
Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me.
Simon: …I’d let you.
Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si.
Simon: I’ll do my best.
--
Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers.
Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?!
Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh*
Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*
--
Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since.
(Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder)
Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-
(This also works with Soap & Ghost)
--
Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana-
Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵
Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*
--
Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨
Soap: Si, no-
--
Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me?
Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext.
Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over*
Y/N: ….that felt good.
Ghost: I’m so proud-
Price: Stop encouraging them.
--
Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight!
(Insert running scene)
Price: Soldier, what hap-
Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win?
Y/N: Of course I won.
Ghost: Nice.
Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-
--
Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil!
Soap: *wheeze*
Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh*
Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses!
Soap: *WHEEZE*
--
Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~
König: Hallo, guten morgen.
Y/N: *smiles and keeps going*
König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*
--
Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-
--
Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes.
Price, minding his business: ?
Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls*
Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????
--
(I think bullying Graves is funny)
Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work-
Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit.
Graves: Listen!-
Y/N: Suck my dick.
Graves: Listen to me!-
Y/N: Suck my dick.
Graves: Shut up, listen to me!
Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man.
Graves: Listen!!
Y/N: Suck my dick.
Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord-
Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick.
Graves: Listen to me, now!
Y/N: Go fuck yourself.
--
Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general.
Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*
--
Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh?
Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha…
Simon: …uh…is this-
Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir.
Simon: Good, good.
--
Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this.
Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this!
*insert banging on door*
Price: Who is that?
Y/N: I think you know.
--
Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves.
Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.
--
Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off.
Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price.
Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.
--
Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost?
Soap: Mhm…thoughts?
Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.
--
Gaz: Are you straight?
Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.
--
(Some type of escort mission or somethin’)
Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail.
Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met.
Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.
(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)
--
König: How does that even make any-
*knife sound*
König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!
--
(I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)
Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight.
Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand!
Alejandro, in love: …
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Nimona headcanons I wrote instead of sleeping
Sometimes the boys forget that Nimona isn’t human
Like they’re used to the shifting into animals aspect of Nimona because she does it as often as she breathes
But sometimes she’ll do some really creepy shit like make her arms longer to reach something when she’s too lazy to get up
One time they shifted just their neck to be like an owl so they could turn their head 180 degrees instead of just turning around cause that was “too boring”
Or he’ll mimic people’s voices without realizing it
Sometimes he’ll tell a story and suddenly he’s using Bal’s voice
The first time she did this Bal searched the whole house cause he was convinced that Todd has snuck in
Or she’ll grow an extra arm to hold more shit and they take a moment to realize “oh yeah we adopted a little weirdo”
They get used to it after a while and the arguments surrounding it are always funny because both the boys will complain and say “I don’t sound like that” and they have to be told “No love you do you really do”
You know those videos of babies reacting to their parents shaving their facial hair or putting on glasses
That’s Nimona's reaction every single time the boys change their appearance even the smallest bit they cant shave or wear their reading glasses because if they do he freaks out
Talking some “help me Nemesis I heard bosses voice but I can’t find him” while Bal was standing right in front of them
It was the first time he shaved his face in years and he’s never doing it again
Mostly cause Ambrosius kept telling him he looked like a teenager and it was freaking him out
I feel like Bal and Ambrosius are those kinds of people who will tell people about the little injuries but neglect the big ones
Like Bal mentioned that he thinks he sprained his ankle during the fight at the institute but he won’t mention that he’s pretty sure he got a concussion
(BECAUSE THIS MAN HEAD-BUTTED TWO PEOPLE WHEN HE HAS A METAL ARM)
(I’m bout to wrap this man in bubble wrap and give him a helmet because wtf)
Ambrosius will complain the whole day about the fact that he has a paper cut
But will completely neglect to inform his doctors “Oh yeah I can’t move my left arm higher than my waist without pain and I can’t see that well out of my left eye or hear that well out of my left ear do you think that’ll be a problem?”
It isn’t until Nimona makes an off handed comment about how this super weird that the laser did basically nothing to him that he told both of them
They literally dragged him to the ER because “Who thinks those symptoms are normal Nemesis what is wrong in that pretty little head of yours!!”
When Bal tells Nimona she’s being a bit of a hypocrite (cause who refers to an arrow as a splinter?) she turns to him and says “I know you’re not saying something Mr. Human battering ram”
It took literally everything in Ambrosius not to break down laughing
After that she forces them to have frequent checkups with the doctor because these dorks wouldn’t go otherwise
Honestly I'm fully convinced that some people in the kingdom don't know who Nimona is and are constantly confused why they let this little weirdo follow them around
And finally the curiosity will eat away at them and they’ll finally ask
Sometimes the boys will give some “normal” answers like “Oh that’s Nimona” and they won’t elaborate at all
Sometimes they’ll give funnier answers like “Oh that’s a raccoon we found in the garage who turned into a person one day” “I don’t know they just showed up in our living room” and their personal best “You see her too?”
And their favorite that they only started using a couple of years down the line “Oh that’s our kid”
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