#i cant remember the last time i slept past 10 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

devil-in-those-eyes · 4 years

Text

A Break(Up)? Mat Barzal

Wow, okay, so I thought about this last night and it turned out to be a lot more angsty than i thought it would be. Hope you enjoy!

You weren’t really sure how you and Mat got to this point, you haven’t even been dating that long but the fight was something else. You and Mat never seemed to fight, but then it meant all your past problems seemed to fester and roll into this big row. You didn’t mean for it to happen and you kept asking yourself how you got to this point. Thinking back on it, you understood where he was coming from, but now you weren’t angry, instead you were heartbroken because you didn’t know if the relationship could be saved.

As you stood in your kitchen, you could hear the fight begin all over again. It was loud and heartbreaking from the very beginning, unsure of how it even started the tears breached your eyes but it didn’t stop Mat in his tracks, it just made him fight harder.

You followed him from his bedroom and into the family room, his suitcase rolling behind him as he walked in his suit. “Mat, just stop.” You begged.

“Christ, Y/N, she’s just an old friend!” Mat blew up, tossing his bag of gear by the door and turning to face you.

“She’s an ex-girlfriend, not a friend!” You argued. “And you’re going out of your way to see her!”

Mat rubbed his forehead, groaning. You stood there, worry building inside your stomach because Mat didn’t tell you, no you found out because she texted him saying she cant wait to see him. You didn’t believe Mat would have told you and that was continually hitting you square in the chest. You knew Mat wouldn’t cheat, but it made you wonder if he was unhappy in the relationship and it was making you second guess everything.

Eventually, Mat looked up at you. There was sadness inside his eyes and his jaw unclenched as he watched you reach up and quickly wipe at a tear. “Maybe we should take a break.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks. A break?

“When I come home, we can talk.” Mat breathed.

You tightened your jaw until it hurt, looking to your left and at anything but him. What could you possibly say? You didn’t want a break, but you weren’t going to keep showing him weakness. Not when he had a pretty blonde waiting for him in Vancouver.

Mat lingered for a second, waiting for you to respond. Wondering if he made the right choice, but seeing you standing there and looking so small in his blue Islanders shirt made him want to ditch the road trip coming up and stay here with you.

Eventually, he moved. He took his bags and was out the door.

To you, a break meant break up. Especially when you haven’t really spoken to Mat. His trip was only a week and a half long, but you visited his apartment to get his mail and when he texted you, asking if you had, you answered simply with one words. You didn’t want to think about him visiting his ex-girlfriend, and how seeing her might be the grass is greener on the other side. But you figured since neither of you talked about the fight, he didn’t call and you certainly didn’t, you figured it might really be over between the two of you.

Your friends told you to just wait until he came home, urging you to just pick up the phone but what did you really do in the first place to deserve a break(up)? You asked him if he was really thinking of seeing his ex-girlfriend and then it started in on how he had no space. You two didn’t live together and for the most part you only stayed over on his rare days off.

Despite the two of you maybe over, you got together with the other WAGs to watch the last game of the road trip. They ended it with a game in New York, playing against the Rangers. You didn’t tell anyone what happened, but they could tell something was up, especially when you stayed quiet when they were all swapping stories of what the boys had gotten up too.

You felt like you were just walking around life. You went to work, went home and hit the repeat button. You just wanted Mat to be happy and you prayed that it was you he would be happy with, but if it wasn’t, you didn’t want to stand in the way.

Maybe you two were moving too fast. You were twenty-four and he was a year younger, he was a hockey player and gorgeous. Maybe he should be out exploring life with other women, instead of planning for a future with you. You held back the tears when the realization hit you, watching Mat skate around and play the game that ended up being his life.

When you got home, you held the tears back until you got into bed. It took you a long while until you stopped crying and your body gave into exhaustion.

“You going home to Y/N?” Tito asked after him and Mat walked out of the arena and to the bus that’s been carting them from city and city and would bring them back to their own arena, where their cars have been sitting.

Mat felt his chest collapse in on itself when he remembered what he was going home too. He had been praying since the moment he left Long Island that you would at least stay at his apartment while he was gone, and the more the hours ticked into days the more he wished he was coming home too you.

“Yeah, Grace said Y/N was at her place, watching the game.” His reasoning was that his place was closer to Anders than your own.

In all honesty, the second he walked out of his apartment, dropping a bomb in your face, he texted his ex-girlfriend and cancelled on her. For a few days, he was carrying around the weight of what happened, but then that weight brought itself into the games and he just couldn’t get his head in it. It was then that his captain pulled him aside and made him talk about it. It was a long talk and after, Mat felt better but he didn’t know how to make things better with you.

He didn’t know how to bring up what happened, so he settled for asking if you would bring up his mail whenever you had time to swing over. He asked silly questions, things he knew didn’t matter but he was looking for any reason to talk to you, but your replies were short and distant and you didn’t pick up the one time he tried to facetime you.

When he walked through the door of his apartment, it was too quiet. Normally, if you were there he walked into warmth. The apartment would smell like the dinner you made, the lingering scents of coffee, maybe even an uncorked half bottle of wine. Instead, your shoes weren’t at the door. Your keys weren’t hanging up and his doorman told him he hadn’t seen you in days.

Mat walked further into his apartment and found a cream basket sitting on the coffee table, the only light came from the kitchen, but from what he could make out, it was his things. Three sweatshirts, ones he gave to you because he knew you’d get more use out of them. A few ties he had been missing and wondering where they went, forgetting he left them at your apartment. And his cologne he kept there for nights you missed him while he was away and for when he slept over at your place.

This was you returning his items.

This was you taking the break as a breakup.

Losing you suddenly felt more real to him, you had been slipping through his fingers before he even had the chance to try and hold on to you. Mat felt like the apartment was closing in on him, his heart shattering into a million pieces. He could no longer wait until the next day, he didn’t care that it was 1 in the morning.

None of it mattered if it meant losing you, all because he was an idiot. Mat rushed out of his apartment and got into his car, taking the fifteen minute drive to your place. He didn’t mean for seeing his ex-girlfriend to be a problem for you, nor did he feel like you were suffocating him in the relationship when he reminded himself of the nights he secretly wished for you to be more clingy. He took your cool and self assured outer shell for granted, believing it was okay, when he should have known that reconnected with an ex and not warning your current girlfriend was a huge fat no.

By the time he was banging on your door, tears filled his eyes. He couldn’t stop feeling like he was going to faint. He didn’t care if he woke up the whole building, he was seeing you, even if someone called the cops on him.

The banging wouldn’t stop and for a while, you thought it was your headache, but when you rolled over, you realized the banging wasn’t in your head and it sounded like your front door was going to fly off the hinges.

Thinking it was an emergency, whether it was family or a friend it didn’t matter, but you flew out of bed. Snatching a sweatshirt off the floor and running to the front door. You unlocked it and ripped it open, but what you saw in front of you stole your breath away.

Mat was panting, like he just ran thirty miles. His eyes were rimmed with red and his cheeks were pale.

“Mat, what’s wrong?” you asked, just shocked to see him at two in the morning.

“You’re not leaving me.” he stated, shaking his head. “You’re not.”

“Mat,” you started.

“I don’t want a break, I don’t want a break up, I don’t want you to pack up my things and give them back to me. I don’t want to be strangers with you, I don’t want,” Mat’s voice broke and he cut himself off.

Your own tears filled your eyes and you squeezed the doorknob to keep yourself grounded. You didn’t have any time to prepare for Mat as he stepped into you and grabbed the back of your thighs, squeezing them until they wrapped around his waist and he dug his face into your neck.

A quiet sob raced out of your mouth as you wrapped your arms around his neck, one of his hands touching the small of your back. Your fingers dug into his long hair and you felt him shiver into your body, his breath tickling your skin.

“I love you, baby.” He whispered into your neck, holding you as all the other emotions rippled through you. “I’m never letting you go.”

“Don’t walk away from me again,” you whimpered, getting shirt damp with tears.

Mat pulled his head back and touched his palm to your cheek, wiping at the tears the way he wanted too 10 days ago. His heart broke at the sight of you, eyes swollen and crying, lip worried raw. “I’ll never do it again, I promise.”

You nodded and Mat leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your mouth. When you pulled back, you dug yourself into his neck again, squeezing his body. Mat stepped further into your apartment and kicked your door shut.

“You gonna let me stay the night?” He asked, reaching and flicking the lock over after realizing neither one of you wanted to let go.

“You can stay forever.” You grumbled, your words muffled by his skin.

Mat smiled softly to himself, heading towards your bedroom. “I’ll take you up on that invitation.”

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal smut #mat barzal x you #mat barzal x reader

329 notes · View notes

sincerelymarinette · 3 years

Text

A Recorded Life Sequel (7/10) - Miraculous Ladybug

Words: 1533 Summary: Finally, a day off for Marinette and Adrien. To celebrate, they decide to capture it on video for their fans. Author's Note: domestic adrienette domestic adrienette domestic adrienette!!! my fave. Sorry for missing two weeks, been busy! Only 3 more chapters of the sequel (also there's a hint to the next chapter at the end of this one wink)

Prev / Next / Masterlist

Our Day Off

---

Nowadays, Marinette and Adrien rarely slept in. They were constantly going with work and life, but they decided to treat themselves today by getting extra sleep. The rebrand is almost complete, meaning both Adrien and Marinette will get to breathe for a few days. The main stuff was done, like the website, displays, tags, and business cards, among other smaller things.

He was getting a little nervous, but excited, as the final day got closer. They planned a fashion show to truly ring in the new era of Agreste Fashion, now called Emilie's, with Marinette and her team's line as the first official Emilie's line. They also reworked some fan-favorite clothing to make them fit the brand better while getting rid of Gabriel's name. It was going to be an exciting day, seeing the old and the new mix together. But there were still a few weeks until that day; there was still work to be done.

However, it was Saturday, and both Marinette and Adrien decided they could have a few extra hours of sleep. Adrien rolled out of bed earlier than Marinette and went to the kitchen to start breakfast. It was nothing crazy, just some eggs, because they agreed to stop by their favorite bakery to see her parents and enjoy a well-deserved macaron. Or two.

Marinette followed him into the kitchen when she smelled the eggs, her hair still unbrushed and in her pajamas. "Smells good, Adrien," She yawned.

"I'm glad. Time for a quick breakfast so we can go see your parents," He said as he slid the plate over to her seat.

Marinette nodded and took a bite. "You know, I was thinking," She said, carefully. "I wanted to put up a video like we used to do. Maybe we could vlog our day, or at least some of it? One of our first days in a long time that we haven't been so busy with work. Heck, I don't think either of us has had a day out of the office in at least two weeks."

A big smile formed on Adrien's face. "I think that's a great idea, Mari!" He hopped up and walked to the corner of the living room that had Marinette's desk. He grabbed her camera battery off the charger, then her camera bag, and brought it back over. Marinette would have gotten it herself, but sometimes, Adrien beats her to it.

She thanked him for the camera as she got her settings flipped to the right ones, then held it up. "Hi! I'm Marinette!" She waved at the camera, with Adrien waving behind her. "I know I look like a mess right now, but on our day off, we wanted to vlog! It's been so long since I've done a video like this, so I'm excited to give you guys some insight on how we've been recently."

"I made eggs," Adrien held his place up with a big grin when Marinette paused.

"And they're lovely, thank you, Adrien," Marinette admired. He set his plate back down, clearly proud of himself.

"Well, we're going to finish breakfast, then head over to our favorite bakery in the world! I'm sure we'll check back in then," Adrien said, Marinette nodding with him, and she shut the camera off.

Marinette and Adrien finished their eggs quickly and got their morning routines done. They were out the door by eleven o'clock, which to most people meant they barely slept in, but sleeping past eight was glorious for them.

Marinette got the camera back out when they were in the car. It wasn't too far of a drive to get to her parent's, but it was just long enough that the car was needed, and she had some time to talk to her camera. "We're in the car now, and let me just say, my stomach has been aching for some sweets recently. We've been so busy we haven't had time to go get anything other than what's in our fridge or the late-night store around the corner from Emilie's," Marinette rambled.

"Well, when we get to work at six or seven in the morning, and we stay past dinner time, we don't have the time to go there, and most other places are closed when we head out," Adrien said. "Don't get me wrong, I love what we're doing, but it sure is tiring."

"Once the rebrand is done, hopefully we'll have a more normal schedule," Marinette said. "Long days, but it'll be worth it."

Adrien agreed. They continued rambling about work all the way until they parked near the bakery. It had only been a few weeks since she last saw her parents, but it was always nice to see them and talk about life, no matter how long it had been. Her parents tried to stuff them full of all kinds of sweets while listening to Marinette talk about how excited and exhausted she was about her team's line, and Adrien talked about how pleased he is with changing the brand to remember his mom. They had front row seats to the fashion show, and couldn't wait to see it all come alive.

Marinette did record some of her parents and the bakery, but they just talked most of the time. They closed for lunch, so there was all the time they needed before Marinette and Adrien had to leave; well, they didn't want the bakery to be closed for the whole day.

They ran a few errands, like grabbing a few groceries, and Marinette can never resist picking up some swatches when they pass her favorite store. They checked out a few shops that should have received the new displays and were able to see them getting set up.

What was truly special, though, was their evening. They ordered a pizza for a movie night so they could fully relax. Plagg snacked on his cheese while Tikki sat in her little bed on the table so Marinette and Adrien could finish setting up. Marinette walked over to the hidden safe in the closet and opened it, pulling out the special box. She set it on the coffee table and opened it, letting all the Kwamis out to play.

Usually, she tries to let them out at least once a week. But with them being so busy lately, it has been a lot less. The Kwamis love her and Adrien and understand; they're just excited to come out to see them and Plagg and Tikki, and they were even more excited to hear about movie night. A strange idea to their magical creatures, but they all seemed to love it all the same. Though they did miss Trixx, Pollen, and Wayzz, the rest of them knew they were having a good time with their masters, and they were able to enjoy themselves.

Marinette scrolled through the streaming services to find the perfect movie while all the Kwamis got comfortable around the couch and little pet beds. As she waited for Adrien to come back from the kitchen with pizza boxes and their drinks, she pulled out her camera for one last update to their vlog.

"Well, here we are to end the night! Adrien and I are relaxing with a movie and pizza, and it's a great way to end our first full day off. It's a nice break, but I'm excited to get back to work. Can't wait for all of you to see what we've been working on!" She said. Marinette was extra thankful that Kwamis are not visible on camera, because it would have looked crazy with all the little animals sat around her.

"I can't either!" Adrien popped in, setting the food on the table, then kissing Marinette's cheek. "This was fun; we should make more videos when we have time."

"I would love it, and I'm sure they would, too," Marinette gestured to the camera. "But that's it for today. Make sure to follow us in the description and be ready for some more videos, hopefully soon!" Marinette said, and both of them waved as she ended the recording. She would have to find time to edit it, maybe tomorrow before work.

Marinette and Adrien began digging into the pizza as she pressed play on the movie; both she and Adrien cuddled up to one another, all the Kwamis filled in around them.

As always, she was ecstatic to see some of the replies on the video. It was one of the things she missed most about not uploading as often.

I've missed these type of videos so much! I would LOVE more when you guys aren't busy!!

Seeing them happy makes me so happy. I'm so glad their lives are turning out great after everything they dealt with as teenagers

did you guys see that those guys who forced them into lb and cn got charged? DESERVED! But I'm so glad you guys are alright after that, it looks like you had a fun day

PLEASE TELL ME YOURE GOING TO RECORD ALYA AND NINOS WEDDING I CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO GET MARRIED ITS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL

I can't wait to say I have clothes from Emilie's! Such a beautiful meaning behind the name change and I can't wait to own a Marinette design from Emilie's instead of Agreste Fashion. We knew this day would come! (I know she's been designing for them for a while, but this is different guys)

---

@lady-of-the-roses-and-lilies @bookishserendipity03 @avatheexceed @gkz10 @coccinellegirl @kat-thatoneweirdo @strawberryblondish @snow-swordswoman @lilgaga98 @evufries @toodaloo-kangaroo

12 notes · View notes

lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

[yoliebloop]

Hey bitch, What’s your fucking name? Um, you can chill. I’m not telling you now.

what color are your nails? They’re not painted.

last time you got some ass? Never.

do your parents like your style/music choices? My mom and I like a lot of the same music. My dad and I like some of the same stuff as well.

ever been verbally abused? No.

ever been in a fight? why? Not a physical one. I’m not a fighter and I’ve never been in the position where I or someone else wanted to fight, thankfully.

do you believe in God? Yes.

describe your looks? Trash.

in 4 words describe your day. I didn’t drag myself outta bed until 6 and now it’s 10, so in that short amount of time I’ve just had coffee, caught up on social media, watched TV, had dinner, and now here we are.

when did you last break down? Last night. did you take mirror pictures a lot? Back in the Myspace days.

what do you do before you sleep? My nighttime routine consists of scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, and listening to ASMR.

what time do you fall asleep on school nights? I’m done with school.

one season forever - which one? Fall.

do you use hair products? Just shampoo and detangling spray.

what's the worst thing about your school? --

what food do you always have in your house? Ramen.

last time you showered? Last night.

ever seen your parents make out? No.

who was your first kiss? My boyfriend at the time, Derek.

what's your dream height and weight? I wish I were taller and weighed a little more.

do you put your hair up a lot or down? It’s always up in a messy bun cause I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it.

most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither.

what do you do when your house loses power? Thankfully, we’ve only experienced power outages that lasted a couple hours at most so we just wait it out, really.

what piercing do you hate? I’m not big on piercings, but I don’t hate any. were you raised in a religious house? No.

do your parents get mad when your on the computer for hours? No, I’m 31 years old.

what kind of iPod do you have? I have an iPod Touch still, but it’s been stored away, unused, since like 2012.

have you ever been asked for a nude picture? Yes.

what's your favorite thing about your crush/bf/gf? I don’t have a crush or boyfriend.

what's the worst thing? --

ever been so scared you pissed? No.

can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Yeah.

would you rather be held or kissed? can't have both pick one! Kissed.

do you use a watch or a cell phone? I just use my phone.

last reason you got your cell taken away? I’ve never had a phone taken away.

When you cry is it usually hard to breathe? Yeah, cause I’m worked up and then my nose gets all stuffed up as well.

what song can bring you down? Sad ones.

On rainy days what are you mostly doing? I don’t do anything different.

Do you listen to sad music when your upset? Sometimes. I don’t turn to music as much anymore, though.

Has anyone laughed in your face when your crying? Wow, no.

If you get the chance to kill your enemy, would you? I don’t want to commit murder and I don’t have any enemies.

if your in a hurry how do you do your hair? Like I said, it’s always up in a messy bun regardless.

Style?(classy,trashy,goth) Super casual.

What's your current dream job I don’t have one.

what song is always playing on your iPod/stereo? I haven’t been listening to music much.

when you cry can you speak clearly? No. I don’t want to talk when I’m crying and upset.

What would you do if your parent hit you? Wow... I don’t know. I can’t imagine my parents ever doing that.

What's your most common mood? Sad, moody, irritable.

what's your grades in school/what were your grades? I always got As and Bs.

do you like poems? Some. I don’t read much poetry.

do you quote lyrics on your status often? Not anymore, but I used to.

what band would you love to hang out with? Hmm.

who has your heart right now? Myself.

have you ever felt so hurt you can't move? Yes.

do you wear your jammies all day on weekends? My jammies are also what I wear during the day, which are leggings and oversized graphic tees.

take out the 2nd and 3rd letter of your name, how would it be spelled? Sphanie.

would your rather never hear or never see?(just pick one) Ah, I don’t know.

Have you ever caught your ex cheating? No.

ever see yourself going to jail? No. does your family look down on you? No. I look down on myself, though.

last song you sang? I don’t remember.

do you know all the words to your top 3 favorite songs? I couldn’t choose my top 3 favorite songs.

when you lie to someone can you look at them in eyes? No.

do think Jerry Springer is fake? Absolutely.

Megan Fox or Kat Von D? I’m not a fan of either one. Nothing against them or anything, I’m just not.

has the last person you kissed slept with more then 3 girls? I’m sure.

ever been tested for any STD's? No, I’ve never needed to be.

what's on your take of music these days? I like a lot of it.

do you make your bed? It stays made cause I sleep on top and just use a throw blanket that I keep to the side.

what food item could you live off of? I eat ramen everyday, but that’s just one meal. I couldn’t just eat that or any one thing forever.

how much money did you last spend? A little over $30.

do you think its weird when girls change in front of their bf/gf? No?

to do like Techno, Rock, or Rap remixes of songs? Some.

can you name one song by the Beatles? “I Wanna Hold Your Hand.”

this Christmas, what do you want but cant have? I don’t know what I want, yet.

tongue ever hurt from eating to much sour candy? It doesn’t take much for my mouth and tongue to get irritated, which is why I’m not a fan of sour stuff. Or just the sour taste in general. I did used to like Sour Skittles, but yeah those really messed up my tongue.

rather get Chinese or pizza delivered? Pizza.

do you like cartoon or anime? Cartoons.

do you think anime porn is kind of creepy? I don’t get the hentai thing, sorry.

are glasses hot to you? Some guys do look good in them.

what do/did you usually eat at school lunches? In elementary school I liked the pizza, burritos, and chicken sandwiches. In middle school I brought my lunch a lot of the time. In high school I got school lunch during my freshman year, which was the same stuff for the most part and then the other years I brought my own.

get a new camera or new phone? I just got a new phone this past Christmas and I use the camera on my phone, so I don’t have a need for a new camera either.

do your parents have time limits on phone calls? I’m 31 years old, but no back in the day they didn’t so long as I did my homework.

what about when you have to be in bed? When I was a kid, yeah.

does short hair girls mean there a lezbo? No...

would you change your eye color? Yeah, I’d love to have blue or green.

last person that saw you naked (can't be yourself) That’s it, though.

ever kissed someone half naked? No.

is being sweaty nasty? Ugh, yes.

do you wax, shave, or pluck your eyebrows? I pluck them.

would you spend 5,000 for hairless armpits and legs forever? Nah, I’ll just shave.

do you think its gay for male swimmers to shave there legs? No...

can you talk about your flaws and not be embarrassed? I own my flaws.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

1 note · View note

itsjusta · 3 years

Text

Feb 8 (Mon)

started my day wid acads doeee hahaha also watched a lot of kdrama hehe had a hard time sleepiiiing again haaayst naka nap ko ganina hapon for like 2 hours but the actual sleep i got less than an hour rato doe the rest it was me trying to sleep aishhh

Feb 9 (Tues)

productive daaay hehe did a lot of acads doeee heheh i didnt wake up well das why my head issa naa kirot but i still did a lot of work heheh alsooo aish i’m happy today doe hhah thank u for making me special doe :(((( u always make me feel like u care for me doe and aishhh issa making me touched :((((( and i will also do the same for u doeee 🥺 i hope u know na i’m always here gyd cos i’m ur bff!!! 🥰

Feb 10 (Wed)

issa i slept at 3 na ata doeee cos i piyong2 at 1 but di jd ko ka sleep nag 2 nalang!!! issa wake up pajd ko 9 cos class doee but aish okay raman pd issa wala ra labad ako head hehe issa my damgo was also very dramatic i cant remember clearly but i have powers doe and i have to save everyone doeee cos i think na possess sila sa bad spirits!!! and also da last part is nag tagbo ta sa main gate doe mga 8pm but u didnt see me u were there to sundo your gf and i just got done sa exam 😂 and i just walked to wadhu’s alone so luoy and its so dark pa gyd hahahah

issa a veryyy boring day also doe issa bsag unsa nalang ako gi do para naa ko mabuhat doeee aishhh hahah also aish dis a nice day to go out doeee maybe if i had a car and i know how to drive i think i will go out gyd doeee aish di nako nanghid hahha i cant even rent a car cos ion know how to drive 🥺 i will just go to a beach doeee and just sit there issa just want to take a break from everything doeee aishhh but i cannot even go out basta2 hahha and i realized dat i have no go-to friends gyd doeee aishhh watta boring life and i just cried when i realized how boring my life is doe 😭 hahahahha 😭😭😭

also aishhh got a low score in fil doeee hahah times like these i want an uyab gyd doe where i can rant everything doeee :((( hahahah i know you’re always there but aishhh i’m not your priority naman gyddd hehe i cried more now doe cos i just feel so lonely aishhh why is dis uy issa i sound so luoy doeee hahah issa just so mingaw lang gyd doe i feel like there’s no one around gyd aishhh haha even while watching kdrama i still cry aishhh

Feb 11 (Thurs)

an okay day doeee!! labad head when i woke up cos i had to wake up at 9 for a class and 4 am nako naka sleep so frustrating huhu issa did acads doeeee and ur quizzes hehe humana ako mga tasks dis week doeee yaaay ehheh also just went to mom’s room to watch cartoons HEHHE i hope i can sleep okay tonight 😩

Feb 12 (Fri)

gong hei fat choi u 1/8 chinese!!! hahahaha i woke up nicely today and slept dali gabii yeeeey 😭 naka sleep nako early 1 am pa lang doe and almost 11 nako wake up hehe i think cos nice ang weather!!!

issa my damgo so scary doe naa upat ka killer nga gusto mi patyon kami family and bsag naa na sila sa hospital not gyd sila gaka dead doeee and aish grabe ako dagan2 doeee kay ginalakag ko and naa ko gibira isa ka laki sa dalan issa ubanan ko niya dagan hantod issa nakatakas rami doe hehehe scary killers!!!! 😡😡 issa da ending pjd kay namaklay mi pa laguindingan sako medina friends like junjun and kyla and nag acads HAHAHAH WATTA TRANSITION!!

today was a boring but okay day doeee hehe cos i did no acads gyd ehhehe just took some 20-30 minute naps cos i was so sleepy da whole day gyd 🤦🏻‍♀️ i also watched kdrama lang dayon hehe

Feb 13 (Sat)

another supppeeer tapol day doeee hahaha nag acads ko but like 30 mins lang doe and the rest of the day issa just watching movies and nap2!!! aish its ok i deserve this rest doeee hehehe

Feb 14 (Sun)

happy valentines!! sana ol naay kadate 🥺 u know i felt lonely doe in da hapon but when i gawas issa naa daw nagpadala flowers and issa si mommy diay doeee issa a bouquet of soap flowers :(((( and i cried a loooot doeeee :((((( becos i’m so happy na i received sumthing doeee cos i tot gyd i’m not going to receive anything and it s okay naman for me i just felt lonely but aishhh mommy so sweet doe she didnt want me to receive nothing :(((( aish issa making me cry a lot :(((((( also making me realize that i’m so single and its nice gyd if naa uyab and naa madawatan hahahha but aishhhh its okaaayyy!!! 🥺🥺 i will find someone soon! 🥺 CHAR WA MAN SAD KO GADALI AFTER COLLEGE PA BAYA KO MAG BF AGAIN EHHEHE

also so tired to school again tom doeee the past 3 days i’ve been relaxing lng!!!! hmp

1 note · View note

dannineedsfriends · 5 years

Text

Parrlyn - A Favour - Pt 3

So there's definitely a lotta typos in here- and there's some kissing/making out at the end that some people may be made uncomfortable by. Other than that, enjoy the last part!!

When the tears came, they never seemed to stop. Wrapped in all of the blankets she owned, never washing, never checking her phone. Sometimes, she catches glimpses of herself, her hair is matted across her head, bags under her eyes stretching like fields of bruises and slumming sunken sockets slouching back into her skull.

Who was there a purpose to exist for, if not Anne?

She thinks of the lips that she kissed, pulling her closer and waking up in her arms. All she could ever lust for is more- more contact- more time. Had she lost her appeal that quickly? Was her kissing bad? At the time, she had been too involved to even consider if Anne was happy, or even enjoying it. Was she to blame?

Cathy rolls over once more, watching light filter through the curtains as another sleepless night washed over her face, depleting her energy to live and what felt like nineteen years of her life-expectancy. She pulls the covers over her head, grumbling something along the lines of: why did you turn up the brightness of the sun?

Slowly, she drags herself to sit up, looking around her room in a daze. It really had shaken her up, she realised. Who has the right to knock down the Catherine Parr? The strong one. The smart one. The independent one. No one- not even Anne.

She stares herself in the face, having found herself sat in front of her mirror, sighing and rubbing her face. It was time to step up, and step away from her feelings.

That's exactly what she does.

Catherine Parr regains her confidence, covering herself in lotions of plenty, moisturising and replenishing all that she had lost in a matter of days. Almost Christmas, her spirits are finally up, reaching for the stars. That was when she finally decided to peak at her phone, surprised by the flood of notifications.

Annie 🦠:

"Cathy please"

"Please answer me I just want to talk to you."

"I miss you."

"Call me when you can please"

"I need to explain myself"

"I cant tell you over text pls"

"Cath pls"

"No one can get in contact with you"

"They're worried"

"Please just answer"

"Cathy IM really worried"

"I wanted to come to your house but I cant remember your address"

"Just call me back okay?"

She lets out a deep sigh, rubbing her eyebrows as one thumb hovers over the call button. Does she dare? Her gut drops, stomach heavy, the imagine of Anne with her lips against another man's imprinting onto her mind. Anne. Anne. Anne. Not her Anne. Just Anne.

And the phone rings.

"Cathy?? Cathy is that you??" Anne cries through the phone. "Oh thank God I'm so happy that you called me back- I- i need to explain myself."

"Yeah. That's a bit of an understatement." Cathy mumbles begrudgingly, holding the phone to her ear and sighing impatiently.

"Look- just- please. All I want to do is talk. Meet me at the coffee shop in 10, okay?"

"Fine.." she says, shaking her head. "I'll be there."

She wouldn't admit it but she was desperate to see Anne, desperate to feel her hand in hers once more, desperate for her. Maybe that was why she practically ran there, specifically to be waiting for her. She ordered her black coffee in a to go cup, sitting in the seat by the window, staring out and looking across the streets for her.

Everytime the door opens, she shivers, the iced winds swallowing her limbs in its malicious embrace. Where was she? She winces: she was once again obsessed with the thought of her, the pure concept of Anne gracing her with the presence. This temptress of a woman had her wrapped around her little finger; the addiction happened so fast, too fast, even, if she were not foolish, Cathy would believe that Anne, indeed, a witch, and she, entranced in her spells.

That was when she slid into the seat opposite her.

Her eyes are sad, no longer glistening with her playful countenance, lips down-turned. Cheeks glowing a rosy red and rubbing her hands to deriddle herself of cold. "Thank you.."

Catherine nods, blowing out a soft breath and shaking her head, pushing a poof of hair behind her ear, fiddling with studs in her ears. Her leg bounces anxiously beneath the table, finger tapping a delayed rhythm on the table. Anne must have picked up on her anxious body language, the slouched posture, because she starts talking.

"Cathy..- I really don't know where to start with this. My parents found out that I liked girls." She swallows, hard, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut, clearly struggling. "And… I almost didn't have a house anymore. I wanted to put a photo of you on my wall- and all that happened is they asked who you were and- I can't lie for shit.

"I had to tell them that you were the girl I was seeing. They didn't see it as fondly as I did. They yelled at me and told me that I was wrong- and- and-" her voice cracks, and she pauses to take a trembling breath. "And told me that I was wrong- and disgusting- and a disgrace and a disappointment."

"Anne..- I-"

"Please. Just let me finish." Anne pushes her hair out of her face, rubbing her eyes gingerly. "And- if I could find a man to being home- they would accept me again and I could continue living with them- pretending that nothing happened."

She raises her eyebrows and shakes her head in disbelief of it all. "So I did. And I regret every second I spent with that man. That swine. All because of my dumbass parents dictating my life again! So what if I'm a fucking lesbian? What does it have to do with them?"

She purses her lips and looks away from the table, taking in two sharp breaths and breathing heavily as to hold back the sobs, unable to stop her tears from welling up. Every second that past, Catherine could see the layers of facade crumbling to the ground, revealing the truest, ugliest innards of Anne that she could fathom. She watches as a tear glints as it dances over the curve of her cheek.

Parr opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stunted by the onslaught of tears thrashed away by Anne's hands. She stands, shaking her head herself as her eyes begin to well, walking to stand in front of Anne before pulling her to her chest, still sat down.

"Annie…" she whispers, her own voice quivering as her hand finds her hair. Cathy shushes her softly, swaying her ever so slightly. "Annie- I'm so sorry..-"

"I thought you were gonna leave..- just then, I mean..-" she cries into her chest, pleading as she wraps her arms around her torso. "Cathy- please don't leave- please- please-"

She shakes her head, speaking as calmly as humanely possible. "I would never- I promise. I'm not leaving- or going anywhere- I'm staying right here and I'm gonna hug you and give you cuddles until you stop crying, okay? Or until I stop crying. Maybe both."

Parr feels Anne laugh against her, looking up at her through her eyelashes, shaking her head. "We're just crying over here, y'know- don't mind us, normal people. Just a puddle of gay in the corner."

"We're not in the corn-"

"Shh.. I'm crying- let me have this one." Anne grins into her chest, burying her face again and letting the sobs ease to hiccups, and when the hiccups finally deplete, she takes a long and deep breath. "I.. I just wanted you to know since you saw me and..-"

"I know.. I know.. it's okay…" Cathy says, hand finding the stray hairs in Anne face that had sprung back into position and holding them back, leaning down to kiss her head, leaving her lips to linger for a few seconds before taking her hand. "Do you want to come back to my house..? Where Anna isn't watching us from across the shop?"

"She's doing what?? Where??"

"I can see her in the reflection of the window." She turns around, moving out of Anne's line of sight, not letting go of her and.

"Oh yeah. Creep." She nods, looking to Cathy again and standing up, brushing imaginary dust off of her clothes. "I'll just expose her the next time I see all the girls together. See how she likes it then."

"That's a bit mean Anne-"

"'That's a bit mean Anne-'" she mocks, putting her hands on her hips and pulling a face at her.

"I do not sound like that!" Cathy defends, eyebrows pulling together in disapproval.

"'I do no-'"

Parr cuts her off, taking her hand. "Okay- that's it. You're walking home with me and you're holding my hand, no ifs and buts!"

Anne grins. "Like I was going to let the opportunity pass me by."

They walk back to Catherine's house, slowly, enjoying the cold as they swing their arms between them. Anne eventually forfeits her hand and wraps her arm around her torso, hooking her hand just above her waist.

"I'm so cold." She complains, mumbling and staring at her feet, that she was dragging like a stropping child. Anne feels her crush's eyes on her, stripping her of her skin and eyeing her bullshit skeptically.

"Are you cold, or do you just want to wear my jacket, Anne?" Cathy clarifies, unzipping her coat, part way.

"No-!! Don't take it off- you'll be cold and you might catch something." She says, shaking her head furiously and looking at her, hurriedly stopping her to zip the jacket back up before continuing forward, but snuggling into the side of her. As Cathy moves to slide her hand into her pocket, she reaches for the hand, making sure she got to at least have one warm hand.

Silence hangs between them comfortably, bundling them up in a robe of fulfillment and long-awaited contact, swaddling them close to one another, not daring them to shift position, other than the steady, synced movement of their feet.

"Annie..? I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have ran off- I shouldn't have stayed in bed and slept for so long..- I shouldn't have ignored you.." Catherine admits quietly, shaking her head at herself.

"Hey..- don't beat yourself up- I would've done that too if I had seen you with someone else." Anne shivers, nodding mercifully, still clinging onto her, even as they approach the front of the house, and walked up the steps. Cathy practically had to pry Anne off of her so that she could take off her coat and shoes, before turning back to her. "Aren't your parents home?"

She shakes her head, and shrugging. "They're never here if anything, I'm pretty sure that they have a penthouse somewhere in Florida and left me here on my own."

"Why so specific?" Anne questions, taking her own initiative and walking up the stairs, which were right in front of the door.

"They always talked about it when I was a kid: flying out to the US and renting somewhere that they couldn't pay for. I always joke that they might have left without me- but hey. I have no idea where they are, and that's the crack, I guess." She shrugs, following the brunette, clearly ardent for her destination

Anne pushes the door to her room open, running and practically leaping onto her bed, limbs spreading across the bed and Cathy stays at the door, musing and taking in the image of her dearest, before joining her on the bed, being invited into her embrace.

She crawls willingly into her arms, cheek resting on her chest, eyes fluttering shut and the room a state of tranquility. This was all she had wanted, had needed, she realised, before looking up at Anne, to whom she had caught staring at her.

Her face is lit up with the most heart-warming smile as Cathy raises her head to press her lips to hers. "Hey, Gorgeous?"

"Mhm?" Catherine hums.

"Do you mind if I get a shower really quick? As much as I'm enjoying cuddling you- I'm really cold and want more heat." She admits, still holding her close, hand tracing from her waist to her hip, lingering and then back again.

She nods. "Of course! Do you want some spare clothes..-?"

"If you don't mind- I'd also offer you to join me but I don't think it'd go down to well." She winks and presses a quick kiss to her lips before scampering out to, no doubt, spend 30 minutes trying to work the shower (or find the bathroom) and then coming back in to Parr looking rather discouraged.

But to her surprise, the shower started running only 15 minutes after, and with only one scream of frustration- or her burning herself. Thus it was decided: Anne was the one she wanted. The loud, flailing idiot. Perfect.

Cathy sits on the bed, listening to the hammering of the shower and the occasional bang, and distressed call of "I'm okay!" that always followed shortly after. It makes her smile, and she has to cover her face to hide it, denying it to herself that anything she did was, quite possibly, the most adorable thing Parr had ever witnessed.

One her day dreaming had started (of Anne in the shower), she couldn't stop it, staring aimlessly into space as her fingers squeeze the blankets, all until she sauntered through the door wrapped in a towel, bra straps, while and embroidered with florals, hang over her shoulders.

All is dandy until she drops the towel to the floor, revealing Anne. Anne- everywhere. It's all Anne.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Cathy feels her cheeks heat up as her eyes widen, looking away from her half-naked body and to the walls; ah- lovely painted walls. Her eyes are staring steadily at the walls before she catches the glimpse of Anne staring her down, cheeky grin slathered over her lips. Almost immediately, her vision glides down her figure, establishing each and every curve, to which she had never once seen.

"Ohhhh my God-" she eventually trails her eyes back to Anne's, looking as if she'd just been scarred with unorthodox and inappropriate material, which is inherently inaccurate. Upon seeing her reaction, Anne begins to walk towards her, to the side of the bed Cathy was closest to before leaning her arm over her shoulders with a grin, throwing her other leg over to the side of her, so that she was straddling her.

"Awwwwhhhhhh~ Little wittle baby Cathy's scared of me?~" she sings, teasingly rolling her shoulders back and her wet her falling down her back, dripping onto the sheets.

"Anne- Anne you have no clothes on-"

"Pfft- like we weren't going to take them off later anyway."

Cathy had to admit, she had a point. "Still- you're sat with your- your - breasts - in my face- and I don't know how to feel about it."

Anne slides her forearms to rest on her shoulders, fingers knotting into Cathy's curls, face leaning closer to hers. She could feel her hot breath on her lips, and they touch, encaptured in each other, pulling one another closer.

Cathy's hands find her hips, squeezing and pushing so softly, touching the skin and taking it in for what it was worth, fingers trailing to the small of her back before their lips break. With a sigh Anne moves to press her lips to her neck, pushing her shirt out of the way to get at the base before nipping at the skin, sucking to leave a mark, not hard, just gradually marking Catherine as her own work. At some point, her hand even tugged at the hem of her shirt and soon, that was thrown across the bed, allowing Anne to freely cup her lover's breast.

Once satisfied, she breaks away from her looking into her eyes with furrowed brows. Cathy noticed that her lips were pinker than before, slightly swollen, perhaps.

"Are you my girlfriend now?"

"That's the most stupid question you could ever have asked." She mumbles, shaking her head and kissing her once more. The rest is history, and perhaps, just a favour.

Boom h o w s that for you

84 notes · View notes

cardboardboxcomplex · 4 years

Text

ok since i’m awake and useless, might as well

it’s 4AM on a monday at this point and i do *not* want to go to work. but i have to hhrghshfd HAAAAAA ok breathe . i skipped last week’s shift that i was supposed to go to the lab. i completely disappeared for the *third* time during my two-week wfh shift before that. when we were supposed to do the third quarter report, and the proposal. which are the hardest reports to do, bc they’ll be the basis for renewal next year. but i just ... disappeared again and did not open my emails or messages. again. after i did that twice before. and i had to go through the process of like apologizing to everyone for my absence, and i even decided to tell everyone that i have depression cos i dont know how to explain it ! why am i like this ! and i know it’s not an excuse, and i told them that too. but i just hate everything . okay i think im getting to word dump now. how many times am i going to be so incapable and incompetent? i hate myself so much cos my brain is so fried and i dont want to deal with anything . when was the last time i actually thought deeply or whatever or like read a journal article. and i dont even know what im supposed to be doing anymore. i feel so sad. oh im crying ok. like im thinking of myself and how do i go on with life, what am i supposed to be doing, what kind of path should i be making. i hate this because i lost years of my life and i keep losing more time. and omfg right the paper. man i didnt even reply to sir’s emails either, and i know ate yana and josh had talked and i was supposed to be there too because im supposed to be the main one to finish her thesis for publication, and it’s already been a year? since she left the lab. had i done anything? i did not

and tomorrow is nov 10, and im supposed to do thesis updates ......... how the fuck am i gonna do that. and i had already missed the first time i was scheduled, bc well the same thing happening now. i was wfh (supposedly) and ate isay had to say my internet connection isnt stable. which wasnt a lie, but it was bc i didn’t do anything. i dont know what im supposed to come up with tomorrow. or if i can postpone it again. SEE THIS IS EXACTLY IT HOW MANY TIMES AM I GONG TO BE INCAPABLE AND INCOMPETENT

i dont know like im scared of being in the lab too and all i wanna do is stay in my room

but you know what i dont even like my room. i miss my old room, i miss all my books, i miss all the memories i left there as in the physical things i’ve kept because i keep everything. full on bawling now. i miss having everything i’ve kept near me, with me. i miss my desk, i miss having one. and i hate my room because i haven’t cleaned my room in MONTHS. idk since march, since quarantine started? i can barely see the floor and i have to walk around all the bags with all stuff thrown in them. and honestly im just desensitizing (?) myself bc if i think too much if i look too closely im gonna throw up and i hate it i hate it . on that note i’ve been thinking i might in a constant state of dissociation, or at least a shallow one? i never thought i really dissociated bc i didnt really get the feeling of being apart from your body. but because it’s been going on for so long it didn’t even register to me that i’m dissociating because it feels normal or the baseline. and my memory recall is so bad, i don’t remember what happened the previous day. why? because i’m not even doing anything. or idk. also my attention span is non-existent. but the memory thing bothers me because i dont even know if i remember things from before before, in the past, not recently

before i forgot about the room, i was supposed to have pest control last oct 20? and it was scheduled like first week of october so i knew it was coming. but did i clean my room? in those weeks between? i didnt. i’d been putting it off exactly because my room is a mess and id ont want anyone to come in like this. so i had to postpone that too, and the next one is tomorrow. did i clean my room since then? no. what have i been doing? i dont know either. literally rotting away. and i feel so bad cos i m not even doing anything. i dont even know what. i cant get myself to do anything

what if someone helps me clean? i don’t want anyone to help me clean because i dont want anyone to see my room. ate isay was supposed to help me on that sunday or monday before oct 20 but the plan was i was going to start cleaning saturday so at least if she comes up to help, it wouldnt be so disgusting. but yeah i did not clean. and now it’s november. you know the last time i ironed my clothes? september. last year. september 1, 2019. i remember because that was jungkook’s birthday, but also i was ironing when i got the messages from someone when they were leaving me and didnt want (?) to be friends with me anymore. and that broke me really bad. but not the point rn.

i dont know what else im thinking. oh i miss my friends. kosestream, if you’re reading this, yes i’m thinking of you too, and i’m really sorry. im so sorry ive kept disappearing on you guys for months. i’ve missed you and so many parts of your life, and im really really i wasnt there. and bc i don’t talk with you often, and with my awful memory, i also forget what’s been going on and it makes me feel awful because like i miss all these things about you? i always thought that i had kept tabs on everyone well, paying attention to what you’re doing, ask how things are with you, and now i dont. and im sorry. i always miss you so much, and i love you, and i dont know if that still means anything to you, but it’s still there. so thank you for inviting me to play among us, i liked hearing your voices. and i know you were worried about me (if im wrong this is embarrassing please ignore this) and were trying to cheer me up / offering your support/presence/love/shoulder/hug idk. so thank you. it meant a lot to me (but im sorry my internet was awful. honestly that stressed me out so much and i was gonna give up because i felt annoying and like a huge bother) but okay thank you

and it’s the same with irl friends, missing things. i thought of it once as everything passing (by) me. like when neos had left for germany, i wasnt there. why? because i was rotting away at home doing nothing. i didnt even get to say goodbye. and just the same with everyone, i havent been talking with anyone. there are so many messages i’ve gotten i haven’t (didn’t) replied to, and it’s like god how are they.

what else. ah there’s another thing i’ve thought of. but idk i’ll write that next time

it’s monday, and it’s almost 5am now, i’m supposed to go to work. i have to text ate isay if she’s gonna pass by and pick me up. but i havent slept because i completely fucked up my sleeping schedule. and my room is still a mess. no i did not even try cleaning it even though i had been thinking about it literally every single day. should i just not sleep or should i try getting like an hour of sleep , and hope i wake up (actually, would love to not wake up, ever)

09 Nov 2020, M, 05:02 BTS – Butterfly (Alternative Mix)

#white noise #i'll tag idk journal stuff that i guess #cos actually all my thoughts are not in words #until i turn them into words #which has gotten increasingly difficult #long post #idk should i tag that #idk who's actually following this acct #besides kosestream

2 notes · View notes

thestuckylibrary · 5 years

Text

Group Ask 144

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

Hey! I’m trying to find a fic where Bucky calls Steve accidentally and they end up having phone sex? I’ve tried looking everywhere for it and can’t seem to find it anywhere, would you perhaps know which one this is? :) thanks!

Anon sent in I'm with you on the end of the line by lets_get_messi (oneshot | 3,473 | E)

Anon 2 said: (rape/noncon)

Hi I think I’ve sent this in before but I was wondering if you know the fix where Bucky finds Steve years after they were separated but it’s set during ww2 and Steve is forced to work as a sex worker/slave for Schmidt? At the end Bucky assassinates hitler? And they run away together? Sorry it’s vague

Anon sent in Like Rahab* by moonythejedi394 (complete | 131,789 | E) *rape/noncon

Anon 3 said:

hi, can you help me find a fic where (i think) bucky is part of avengers and steve isn’t captain america (sam is if i remember correctly) and they don’t know who steve is. bucky gets hurt (poison?) and doesn’t let avengers touch him (he never does), and steve shows up, all big and protective, and the team is confused how he got in and astonished when he calls the deadliest assassin a pet name and lets steve touch him. thank you very much!

harratus sent in but you only get half of the story by Hazloveshisboo (oneshot | 2,008 | G)

whyaretheycalledpancakes and Anon sent in A Matter of Pride(?) by Quarra (complete | 5,918 | M)

Anon 4 said:

Hey i am looking for a fic during the war where steve made prayers or promises to god about Bucky and his last one is not to be in this world without Bucky and he thinks about that when putting the valkyrie in the water

100percentlenny said:

ok so I’ve been trying to find this one fic for the past hour. I used to be able to find it so easily but now I can’t. it’s a long fic, where steve and bucky attend an art school and meet a guy who is open to gayness. then steve gets sick after trying to make it home during the snow. they go to that guy from school’s apartment. a doctor’s there at one point. bucky confesses feelings to steve when he thinks he can’t hear because steve is sick. I forgot what happened after that though :/ thanks:)

harratus sent in Gravitation by Odsbodkins (oneshot | 18,158 | E)

Anon 5 said:

I read a fic a while ago where Bucky lived alone and had OCD and PTSD maybe? I think he was a veteran. He always went to this diner late at night when he had nightmares, had a whole schedule, always getting the same thing, knew the waitress. And then he moves in with Steve for some reason, I don't remember, and it gets him off his schedule. Living farther from the diner, trying to hide his OCD. And he knew Steve from earlier in life, I think.

dolphinqueen10 sent in G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners by OhCaptainMyCaptain (complete | 100,481 | E)

captainsso18 said:

Hi! Love the work you do! I’m looking for a post civil war fic, and I tried checking the tags but didn’t see it. Basically Steve decides to stay in Wakanda when Bucky is in cryo and lives in a village where he starts to learn the language and fit in. He fishes (which doesn’t go well) and gets sick from the water at the start of the story. Bucky comes out of cryo later on in the story and moves into Steve’s hut and gets to know everyone and is impressed by Steve’s fluency. Anyone know the fic?

Anon 6 said:

Ok I'm losing my mind trying to remember a fic I read a while back, hoping you can help: Its a Modern AU, steve is older than bucky, pretty sure it was Sugar Daddy AU (but im not finding it in those tags). Basically Bucky is a student, super broke, steve becomes his Sugar Daddy and then Angst (argue about state of relationship, bucky leaves). The big reunion is Steve showing up at Bucks slummy apartment all 'never shouldve let you leave' and romance ensues (vague ik). Thanks for all you guys do!

Anon 7 said:

I have literally been searching for this fic for AGES, and I really need your help! So, in this fic, Tony and Natasha watch live security feed of Stucky having sex, and they both get turned on. Natasha leaves after a bit, and Tony continues watching, and when Steve and Bucky are finished, they say, to the camera, something along the lines “We know you’re there, Tony” Please please help me find this fic!

Anon sent in Hands-Free by OhCaptainMyCaptain (oneshot | 13,961 | E)

Anon 8 said:

sorry for asking again (i dont even know if my first one went through) but i seem to have exhausted the search functions and i just can't find these two fics. the first one is a funny where steve thinks bucky and peter is a thing and hes really jealous/lonely even though its not true. the second one i cant remember much of the plot except that bucky goes on a mission and will be without communication for a while; when he leaves he tells steve that he'll work him over real good when he gets back

Anon 9 said:

Hi! There was this amazing fic I read that I can’t find! It something about Steve and Bucky being each others missing pieces and I remember there was something about how they slept like another was supposed to be there and the team is trying to figure it out. Please help!

Anon 10 said:

I read a fic in like 2016 where Steve painted flowers on Buckys arm and it was when I first joined the fandom and was wondering if you could find it for me? Thanks!

time-lord-no-more sent in Always Towards the Sunshine by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen) (oneshot | 1,958 | G)

Anon 11 said: (dubcon, alcohol)

I read this doc a while ago, and I cannot remember what the name of it was. It was about pre-serum Steve. Bucky went out with a girl and cane home drunk. He ended up having sex with Steve, and he didn’t remember in the morning and Steve didn’t tell him.

Anon 12 said:

Hi, I'm looking for a fic, and I remember that Bucky tried every meal they gave Steve for poisoning or something like that and I don’t remember the name

Anon 13 said:

I'm looking for a fic where I think Steve was like a famous artist and one of his most popular paintings was of Bucky like right after he came home from war, sitting in a chair? And the painting is titled "the winter soldier". Later in the fic after some recovery is done, Steve's like can I paint you again and so there's a second painting but of Bucky looking happier and healthier and the whole time they kept Bucky anonymous but i think at the end they do like an interview?? Thanks

#group asks

38 notes · View notes

fuckthisblog · 4 years

Video

I need to spend more time on tumblr I forgot how calming this was.

I haven’t blogged since April it looks like so fuck...uuhhhh i used to make mini timelines on here and idek how to sum it all up but imma give it a shot for future me cause i always like to come back and read these - gonna go back in time a little to get the full covid picture but it ends with talking about the woods walk that lead to this video which brings me SO MUCH JOY

march 12th ~ last day i was at clinicals before it cancelled april 1st - online class stuff officially starts happening it probably happened before this but this is when i made a record of it. started anatomy review n shit for big ass exam april 5th - judging by my writing.. depression kicks in hard but also studying WAYYY too much every damn day april 14th ~ big deal first job interview april 17th ~ did the breakup thing, think that was the last time i wrote on here april 29th - found out big ass certification test on may 20th is scheduled for TBD ~ also found out i got the job but awsjhcfksdjhk now certifcation is postponed for got knows when may 1st - journal says “i got to see syd and i feel better”, dont think i realized how hard the breakup feels were hittin me cause i remember casually hanging out n then suddenly crying may 13th - slept through last day of my fucking class like a goddamn depressed dummy may 18 n 19 n 20 - miss kitty to the er, and then to her nuero appointment and they think brain tumor but cant afford MRI but prednisone instantly makes her better. all the scared feels of losing her and class being done and no certification exam in sight and just general awful nothingness floating through the void (still studying way too much everyday day) seems like i saw kirk like every other weekend idk how to feel about that im the worst w clean breakups may 21st ~ technically ive graduated but it feels like nothing. also idk if he did it this day or the next but kirk dropped off flowers and a card and a you did it! smiley face thing with a grad cap on that yells YOU DID IT whenever u touch it lol may 26th ~ study sesh w shawna n jordan i know i did other study seshs w them too but idk when, and then home and parents had signs made on the lawn to congratulate me graduating, and then sydney got dropped off and we headed to rhode island may 28th ~ very interesting/bad/idk wtf mushroom trip. adderall was still in my system and i dont think my body liked that mix and then i took xanax to try to calm down but theyre not pharm approved xanax so i just lost some time but syd took awesome care of me and we laughed about this weird juicy couture dress idk even though it was bad it was great cause i was with her. i do remember petting miss kitty and she had like overlapping colored outlines and looked very ethereal and it kept me calm while syd was outside. before the trip was great too i went to ocean state job lot and syd and i made a bonfire and ate donuts n delicious coffee milkshakes honestly it was all great slept entire day after bad trip but then wokeup and immediately started studying again lmao june 1st - called the people to try to get my test scheduled but that was a no go june 4th - letter arrives can actually schedule test - schedule for 16th STUDY STUDY DIE DIE DIE STUDY DIE STUDY DIE SHdkjceshkfchsdjc june 16th - FUCKIN PASSED MY TEST june 30th - mask fitting n stuff july 1st - good hangs w syd im lucky to have her july 5th - go to the fells for the first time in FUCKIN FOREVER cause syd and lucas were going n invited me and im so happy they did swimming felt so good omg july 7th - first day o work july 10th - officially scrubbed in again, feels good, but exhausting july 21st - all nighter where connor tells me he never loved me but in the context of an actually really good heart to heart session (which weve been having a bunch of latelyp) im upset but also not at all, work is exhausting but ive started taking my antidepressants again (literally that morning lol) and i go for a woods walk n swim after, and a deer follows me in the forest and its magical and life is good july 22nd - fuckin slept through work and thats never happened so been pushin myself a bit too hard july 25th - yesterday, worked saturday w j so we’re the only tchs there and did 2 lap apps and a hemiarthroplasty and it was good but also a little discouraging idk if this career is for me

and that about brings it up to today. talking to kirk less which is good for both of us. connor and i having lots of heart to hearts n genuine friendship chats. glad thats come full circle. lucky to have syd in my life. just generally idk that bears repeating haha i love her and writing this is realized how many times i wanted to write “and then syd made everything better” - she was the first person i called after i passed my test and she started screaming for me cause she knows me and knows my past and how hard ive worked and idk just a lotta love there. im lucky. word end of things idk wtf is going on but does anybody really? hahahaha. this career is not for me and i know it deep down but ill finish orientation before i do anything. but as of right now even though lifes good it kinda feels bad cause almost everyday im sweating and shaking and in so much fucking pain for a 10 hour shift and then i come home and collapse. antidepressants are helping though. i havent been on them for the entirety of my program/job so i thought that the job just came w this sort of exhaustion. but now im remembering theres after work tired and then theres depression tired.

#personal #video #deer #woodswalk

2 notes · View notes

ampharos-writes · 4 years

Text

Red Eye

Statement #0050204 Author’s Name: Hector Calderon Nature of Incident: Anomalous occurrences during an overnight flight Date and Location: February 4th, 2005, between Seattle, Washington, USA and Phoenix, Arizona, USA

Statement

I’ve never understood people who dislike traveling.

Well, no, I’m not sure that’s entirely true. I can understand disliking public transportation, perhaps. Trains and buses inevitably become messy despite the best efforts of poor overworked city employees, and societal convention seems to break down when you try to pack that many people in that tight a space. I can understand that.

What I [i]don’t[/i] understand is people who claim to dislike driving or flying. There’s something peaceful shared by the both of them, a quiet atmosphere, an isolation that, whether it be simulated on an airplane or very real in your car, can create a sort of inner peace. I’ve never done quite as much good thinking and introspection as I have on long flights, and there’s perhaps nothing quite as relaxing as a drive to nowhere in particular.

Of course, it’s always better to go at night. Daytime in a car runs into traffic, heat from the sunlight constantly bearing its gaze through the not-quite-tinted-enough windows, the smog of the city and the exhaust fumes from your roadmates slowly leaking in through the AC vents and making you gag. Daytime on an airplane is never as cool as you want it to be and ALWAYs more crowded. The false sense of privacy is shattered. There is always a crying baby, and it is always no more than two rows behind you.

It shouldn’t surprise you, then, that I always schedule red eyes when I travel for business. I find they make the actual traveling process much more bearable, and the necessary shifting of my daily schedule to accommodate them is a small price that I’m more than willing to pay (and it’s offset by the even smaller price of the tickets themselves). I’m able to fall asleep fairly easily on airplanes, so if the fatigue overweighs the relaxation, it’s just a short hop on over to dreamland with fairly few lasting effects the following morning.

My wife, of course, both disagrees with and is concerned by my traveling habits. She’s the type of person who can hardly keep her eyes open after 11 PM, and she has a tendency to assume this same quality in those she doesn’t know - this extending, of course, to any other late-night drivers I may encounter, or the pilot of an overnight flight I’m taking. While this does grow occasionally annoying, it’s hard to stay mad, given that I know she only protests out of love and concern. Of course, it doesn’t stop me from moving long distances after the sun goes down.

So really, then, there was nothing particularly unusual about this particular flight. Seattle to LAX, departing at 1 AM. I was off work the following day, being at the tail end of a business trip, so it would be no problem for me to catch up on any lost rest once I got back. I don’t recall there being anything particularly odd about the booking process, or the wait to board, or the plane itself, and for the first 30 minutes or so, things were… normal, I suppose. Quiet, but that was to be expected. A fairly standard late-night/early-morning flight. Having no reason to suspect that otherwise would be the case, I allowed myself to slip from relaxation to dozing, falling into what I assume was a brief nap. If I dreamed, I don’t remember it.

I didn’t notice anything unusual when I first woke up, either. I had never been slow to rise, exactly, but neither was I a particularly light sleeper, and the fact that I had the row to myself delayed the realization of what was happening. It was when I noticed how dehydrated I was and pressed the service button, in hopes of calling an attendant over for some water, that I made my… well, actually, I guess it wasn’t really a mistake, was it? I mean, I was gonna find out what was happening sooner or later. The attendant’s failure to show up after 10 more minutes of pseudo-dozing is what truly roused me from my slumber, and after checking that the seatbelt sign was still disengaged, I rose from my seat, intending to track down my forgotten beverage and perhaps report a broken service light.

What I discovered instead was that the cabin of the plane was completely empty. No attendants. No passengers. Just me. It took a second for the realization to sink in, but once it did it was just so hopelessly, obviously, disturbingly wrong.

Of course there had been people on board before I had fallen asleep.

...hadn’t there?

For a minute, I simply… stood there, looking around blankly, as if expecting someone to pop out from behind a seat at any moment. This had to be a prank, a practical joke, or maybe… a drill of some sort? One I had slept through the announcement for? They certainly hadn’t exited the plane in midair; I wasn’t sure how many parachutes were present on the plane, but I assumed it wasn’t enough for the entire flight, and furthermore I surely would have noticed if someone had opened the door in midair while I was asleep.

Perhaps they were simply… in the cockpit. It was the one place I didn’t have a direct sight line on. It was possible. The “why” wasn’t important to me in that moment, not as much as the “where”. Furthermore, we were still airborne, I could feel that much, so surely there was at least a pilot still on board. If nothing else, I should be able to march in there and get some answers, even if I wasn’t 100% sure of the questions.

Each step I took towards the front of the plane emitted a muffled “thump” that, while quiet, nevertheless reverberated through my skull in the deafening silence of the empty cabin. Everything seemed muted somehow - the AC vents pumping in pressurized air, the distant whine of the engines, the underlying white noise of the outside air whipping past at 500 miles per hour - as if I was listening to it from the other side of a plexiglass barrier. Every action I took felt magnified in its volume and intensity, and I was struck with the immensely powerful feeling that simply my being here was disturbing something, that breaking the perfect stillness of this barren and abandoned place was a crime of immense magnitude. I don’t know how long it took me to make it to the cockpit, but it undoubtedly felt much longer.

With a trembling hand, I opened the door.

Behind it was nothing. The cockpit was empty. No pilot, no copilot. Just the dim glow of the controls and the oppressive matte black of the night.

Numbly, I made my way over to the controls. I’m certainly not an expert on aviation, but the joystick was moving of its own accord, and the altimeter was holding steady, so I assumed some sort of autopilot was engaged, but there was definitely nobody manually running the show. Not knowing what else to do, I slumped into the pilot’s seat. I was alone.

...or was I? I pulled out my mobile phone. No signal. Makes sense. Plan B was still in play, though, as I frantically cast my gaze about the cockpit. After a moment, I spotted it: a small back radio transceiver, sitting calmly on its hook. I was sure that this was against air protocol or whatever, but I was EQUALLY sure that this was an emergency situation, and I wasn’t exactly super interested in the trappings of procedure. I grabbed the transmitter and called out into the night.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

A burst of static. Then silence.

“Does anyone copy? Hello?”

Nothing.

I wasn’t just the only person on the plane. I was the only person, period. There was no one else.

The transmitter fell from my hand, and for a long time I just… sat there. The plane continued to fly itself in the meantime, its destination at this point no longer important to me, as I was growing increasingly certain that it had no real intention of ever reaching one. The joystick gently drifted through the still air. The altimeter held steady. And I just… sat there.

My thoughts drifted to my wife, and I had the curious thought that perhaps this wouldn’t have happened if I had just listened to her. If I hadn’t been so keen on flying at night, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen asleep, or maybe I would have been able to see outside the plane. Maybe none of this would have happened. It was nonsense, of course, but the thought of her face comforted me. If I was never going to see her again in person, I might as well at least hold her in my mind. The resignation to my fate, to starving to death aboard this gently soaring metal tube, had my stomach dropping.

...or maybe it didn’t. Because as I continued to stare blankly at various different instruments throughout the cockpit, my eyes alighted once more upon the altimeter, and I noticed that ever so slowly, the plane was dropping, and furthermore I became aware for the first time of a slight canting forwards of the floor. It was the first time something had changed since this whole thing started, and I frankly wasn’t sure if I should be ecstatic or terrified.

The decision became much easier when the cant became more pronounced, and the speed with which the altimeter dropped began to increase, and the rushing of the outside air grew from a gentle hum to a deafening roar. Panic began to set in as I rushed to the control panel, looking for anything that might disengage the autopilot and allow me to TRY to slow my descent. It was hopeless, of course - all the controls were unmarked and unlabeled, and as terrified as I was, the thought of making my predicament WORSE tempered any rash action on my part.

Desperate then, I attempted to simply grab the joystick and pull. It didn’t budge - the autopilot, it seemed, was significantly stronger than I was, and our forward descent was locked in place.

I looked at the altimeter.10,000 feet and falling quickly.

NOW I allowed myself to be rash, flicking every switch, hitting every button, kicking the joystick in a frantic attempt to dislodge it. Nothing worked, nothing changed. The plane screamed downward into the night, quite set on its destination and quite unwilling to listen to its lone passenger’s arguments to the contrary. I was going to die, and I was going to do it alone.

5,000 feet now.

I remembered those old duck-and-cover videos from grade school. It seemed like lunacy, but lunacy was all I had left. I retreated to the back of the plane, furthest from the place of impact, and I ducked, and I covered, and I waited.

I thought of my wife again. If things went as poorly as I expected they would, I wanted her to be the last image in my mind.

I don’t remember hitting the ground.

I DO remember waking up in a hospital bed, apparently two days later. The doctors said I had collapsed on the flight and, while I was apparently physically fine, had been completely comatose. There were no injuries, and there was no mention of a plane crash or of any mysterious disappearances. They held me overnight for observation, and I was discharged the next day.

I have another business trip next month. I’ll be taking a 9 AM flight.

Supplementary Comments

Any statement in which the anomalous occurrences begin only after the author has fallen asleep should set off immediate red flags in the mind of any properly skeptical reader. You would be surprised at how many people struggle to distinguish from the waking world and the world of dreams. I note that at no point in his statement did Mr. Calderon ever make an attempt to verify whether or not what he was experiencing was in fact real, and the details would fit with him having been comatose.

Mr. Calderon did provide us with hospital records and a flight stub as corroboration, which is quite refreshing - usually we have to rely on Ara for those sorts of things, and she staunchly refuses to divulge her methods of acquiring them, which is always somewhat concerning. Regardless, Mr. Calderon’s documents both seem to corroborate the more verifiable details of his tale - he was in fact admitted to the hospital after falling comatose on Spirit Airlines flight 271. The cause of this is, according to the records, unknown.

Lissa did manage to spot something I missed that I suppose qualifies as unusual. The flight log for Flight 271 lists the pilot as being one Captain Lucas Janssen - a name that meant nothing to me until some cursory Googling revealed that a pilot by the same name disappeared along with his whole plane somewhere over the pacific in 1998.

-Amy A. Ampharos, Head Archivist April 17th, 2011

#the magnus archives #tma #fanfic #fiction #short story

2 notes · View notes

xuxismoon · 5 years

Text

Killing Moon: 127 | Chapter One

Authors Note: Comment if you want to be added to the tag list! FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED ❤

Waking up in a strangers bed on a Saturday morning wasn’t out of the ordinary for you, but waking up to meet the eyes of a foreboding man dressed in black robes resembling that of a witch, was not. You blinked several times, wondering if it was all a dream, a type of sleep paralysis even. You ruled out sleep paralysis when you sat up without much resistance from your body, your movements followed by the eyes of the witch man.

Rubbing your eyes you look back at the man, giving him one last once over before you swung your legs over the side of the bed. You return his quizzical look as you brush your fingers through your hair, suddenly worried about how your appearance looks to him. As your fingers swipe under your eyes to rid your face of last nights makeup you hear a voice behind you. You turn to see the voice in question to find a beautiful man, rubbing his eyes and murmuring something under his breath in a foreign language. Bringing his hands away from his face the man looks around, spotting you and flashing you a tired smile. “Sicheng!” Your head whips back around to find the robe adorned man staring intently at the freshly awoken male beside you. “Yuta.” He responds, his voice dripping in annoyance. They start to bicker with each other as if you weren’t even sitting there between them, the one in robes occasionally glancing or gesturing to you. As their voices got louder, the more prominent your headache seemed to get. Rubbing your temples you attempt to speak, your voice coming out in as a small croak. Clearing your throat you speak again, this time its loud and clear enough to catch the two males attention. “Can you guys quite down? Maybe argue outside? My head is fucking killing me.” At this, the man in-front of you gapes in shock, while the one beside you lets out a low chuckle. Looking back and forth between the two you shake your head, pushing your self off the bed. “Clearly you don’t know how to treat a guest so I’m gonna go grab myself a water.” A loud laugh rings out behind you and you smile to yourself, grabbing and turning the handle to the door. You open the door to find two boys, staring at you with wide eyes. Before you could slip past them they start bombarding you with questions. “Are you Sicheng’s Girlfriend,” “Who are you? What’s your name,” “Are you a succubus too?” Pausing your movements you turn your head to the tallest one of the bunch, “A what?” Before the boy could answer a booming voice ripped though the air, “Chenle! Jisung! Go downstairs this doesn’t involve you.” As the boys walked away you could’ve sworn that you could see straight through them for a second. As you opened your mouth to call our their names, which you assumed were Chenle and Jisung (Although you didn’t know which was which), the man with the booming voice stepped in front of you. You quirked eyebrow at you while looking you over, then sticking his hand out to you. “Im Taeyong, nice to meet you, Miss…” Taking his hand you answer, “Y/n.” As you start to walk around him, he grabs your arm, halting your steps. “Sorry Y/n, I cant let you leave just yet.” You turn around and grab Taeyong’s wrist, twisting it until it releases your upper arm. “Thank you, but ill leave when ever I please.” As you stride across the hallway and down the stairs you hear him yell. “Wait! Y/n, thats not what I meant! Please stay for breakfast!” His voice sounding far away but when you turn around from the bottom of the stairs Taeyong is standing face to face with you. Furrowing your brows you tell yourself after this experience you are never getting that drunk again. “And besides,” Taeyong points to your legs, “I don’t think you can leave without pants on.” A charming smile stretches across his face and he chuckles, his laugh so enlightening that you couldn’t help but smile yourself. “Please, stay for breakfast.” Sighing you nod your head, “Fine, as long as its good, Taeyong.”

Taeyong then leads you to one fo the largest dining room tables you’ve ever seen. “You have guests often?” You ask turning your head to observe Taeyong’s reaction. “I guess you could say that.” Running his hands through his purple locks, which look surprisingly good on him. As if Taeyong heard your thoughts he smiled at you, giving his hair an extra ruffle with his fingers before you turned to you. “Its actually quite soft even after the bleach and dye.” You look at him in surprise as you nod your head in response. “Oh, um, sorry. I caught you staring at my hair…” Taeyong says, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Your attention was then caught by another tall handsome man entering the room with a strange black pot that smelled of food. “Hey beautiful, breakfast is ready.” He said winking at you as he set the pot down on the table. “Um, thanks?” You stare at the tall man in confusion, just how many people live here? “Around 10, some come and go, like the little ones.” You whip around to Taeyong, eyes wide in shock. “Did I just say that out loud?” Taeyong stares back at you in shock, his mouth slightly open. You two stare at each other until the other male cuts in walking to stand next to Taeyong, “Yeah you did, its okay though its an honest question.” Your mouth forms an ‘o’ as you stare between both of the men in-front of you. After a few moments of silence and some awkward eye contact between the three of you, someone clears their throat from behind you. Turning around you are met with the odd man in robes form earlier and the male, you assumed, you slept with. “I don’t think we met properly earlier, Im Yuta.” The man in robes extends his hand towards you and you take it, shaking hands. “And Im Sicheng, just incase you don’t remember.” You nod drinking in both male’s appearances, despite being quite the odd ball, Yuta, seemed nice and was very attractive. While, Sicheng, the more normal of the two seemed to radiate pure sex, even when dressed in plain sweats. As you continue to stare, someone clears their throat behind you. You turn your head to see Taeyong, his face crimson red with blush, “Are you okay?” At this the unnamed male next to him laughs and pats Taeyong’s back, “He’s fine, just not around girls too often, don’t mind him.” At this you quietly giggle, turning back around to find that Yuta and Sicheng have already sat down at the table and started to eat. “Go ahead, eat, my cooking is very… magical.” Said the unnamed male, pulling out a chair for you, gesturing you for you to sit down with a smile. “Oh, and by the way, Im Jaehyun, thought you should know, beautiful.” Jaehyun stated with a smile and the second wink of the day. Plopping down in the chair Jaehyun pulled out next to Sicheng for you. “What did he make?” You question, peering over the edge of the pot to see eggs and bits of bacon mixed together. “He makes the same thing everyday, eggs.” Taeyong states, chuckling at Jaehyun’s playfully offended reaction to his words. You smile at the boys interaction, feeling oddly at peace and you scooped some eggs onto your plate. “Well Jaehyun and I have some business to attend to, eat well Y/n.” Taeyong says while he practically drags Jaehyun out of the dining room. You shrug your shoulders and start shoveling eggs into your mouth, your stomach so empty it hurts. You look up to find Sicheng staring at you, amusement showing in his features. “Hungry, kitten?” You nearly choke on your food at the pet name and look at Sicheng in shock. From across the table you hear Yuta laugh at your expression. “Excuse me?” You say once you swallow your food, “Ahh, what? You seemed fine with that title last night.” You groan in annoyance and place your head in your hands, “Oh my god, I’m never drinking again.” Both males laugh at you statement and Sicheng pats you on the back “Sure, whatever you say kitten.” You glare at the man next to you before you push yourself out of your chair. “I have to pee, wheres the bathroom?” “Upstairs, the fourth door on the left.” Yuta points at the stairs, you nod as a thank you and make your way out of the dining room and up the stairs. You pause when you hear heated voices behind the third door of the hallway. “He let a human in the house! We have to erase her memory, what if she remembers where the house is located?” The voice you identify as Taeyong, “Calm down, with how black out drunk she was last night I doubt she does, she didn’t even remember Sicheng’s name.” Another voice says, Jaehyun, you think. “I can just erase her memory to be safe, I don’t want to risk anything, what if someone gets their hands on her?” At this you suck in a breath, your heart racing, who are these people? You quickly step away from the door when you hear foot steps towards the door. You try to make it into the bathroom before the door opens so you wont get caught eavesdropping. Before you could open the bathroom door, the door next to you swings open to reveal Taeyong, Jaehyun trailing behind him. “You heard what we said, didn’t you?” Taeyong asks, his face serious. “Nope!I have no idea what you guys were saying. I just gotta pee, have a nice day!” You ramble as you finally manage to open the door, trying to slip inside before you get yourself into any more trouble with these people. Before you can shut the door Taeyong catches the door with his foot, prying it open with his hand. “I know your lying, its okay, we wont hurt you.” You have a hard time believing him as he steps closer to you, cornering you in the bathroom. His stature towering over you. “Let me leave or I’ll punch you.” You say, trying to sound as tough as you could, forcing yourself to stand tall, looking up into Taeyong’s eyes as a challenge. At this Taeyong sighs, his eyes turning a deep shade of red. When he inches forward you send your fist flying. Your knuckles meeting with his nose, a sick cracking sound echoing through the bathroom. As Taeyong grips his face in shock you run past him, pushing Jaehyun out of the way when he tries to block your path. When you reach the bottom of the stairs you are met with Taeyong’s fiery eyes. You stumble back, baffled at how he could have intercepted your path. “Lights out sweet heart.” He whispers to you, staring at you intently. You feel sleep overtake you then everything goes black.

33 notes · View notes

panicked-nights · 4 years

Text

Mother, Make Me (a big grey cloud) ~*~ [Panic + Helle]

In which Panic goes to the Ambassador for help after discovering Attina is gone...[takes place: March 10]

[tw: discussion of death, discussion of child death, fire/burning]

PANIC: Tina was gone.

Stepping into their house there was a certain chill. A chill that resembled his own.

An energy that didn’t belong in this world. Just like how she didn’t belong in his.

It didn't matter that the house was perfect.

Tina was gone.

And it was his fault.

No one escaped the Underworld. Not alive at least and admittedly Panic was sure already if he could be counted as alive. After all he had been able to get out once.

What do we do? What do you mean what do we do? I mean we're not leaving her alone down there are you? For all you complained about that place- Do you really think I'm going to leave her there Perc? But there is no we at all during any of this. You can't do shit. I can do more than you give me credit for. It's the underworld buddy. No one can do shit.

Feeling the familiar tug and pull Panic all but ripped himself from Percy's body. But Panic's form didn't ripple. It didn’t waiver because for the past two decades he had worked on strengthening himself.

Even now he could feel some of Percy's strength while they stood side by side.

He couldn't just wait for that to weaken time was an iffy problem. He wasn't leaving Attina there girl any longer than necessary. Mind you the minutes here were already too long. He needed a quick way to get down there more than waiting for him to get pulled back in. He needed to give up something so Tina could leave.

He needed to tie himself there.

You're not coming back are you? Not at all. Time to meet the ambassador.

It didn’t take long to get to Belle's place. Of course if it had then Panic was really barking up the wrong option.

So when Belle opened the door he didnt have time to spare.

"Hey. Great to see you and everything. Any chance Hades is at home? I need his help. Or yours if you know how to send a demon back to the underworld."

BELLE: There was a knock on the door.

In the Acheron house, that was rarely a good sign. Especially when they were not expecting anyone. It was only Belle at home, at the moment. Opal was upstairs napping, Hades at Chapter Three, giving Belle some peace and quiet to focus on her school work.

But, there was a knock on the door.

Belle looked up from her books at the kitchen table, towards the door. Shuck lifted his head as well from where he’d been sleeping at her feet. He did not growl, just watched the door steadily. With a little, annoyed sigh, Belle got up from the table and made her way to the door.

When it was Percy...Panic...Percy and Panic?--she smiled and opened her mouth to say hello, but they cut across her at once. Her brow furrowed and she closed her mouth, looking them over once. Who was even speaking to her? Surely Percy, yes? Why would a demon want to go back to the Underworld? She took in the look on his face--the way his brows were furrowed and he seemed pale and anxious. Whatever was going on, it was not good.

Belle steeled herself, as she always did when facing someone knocking on the door.

“You should come in,” Belle said without really answering. She opened the door a little more and then closed it behind her friend. “Hades isn’t home, but he should be soon.” He would be, because Belle was reaching into her pocket to text him now.

“Now, what’s happened?” she asked, feeling rather official, like Panic was a client of hers, that she was agreeing to defend in court. Perhaps, that was how queens often felt. The thought simultaneously amused and exhausted her.

PANIC: Panic ran his hands through his hair ever thankful he had spoken to Belle about being a demon even though it was just about having a kid because now it meant he didn’t have to explain too much again.

He didn’t have the time.

If he did he would have done this all on his own. Waited until his power drained him enough that he couldn't stay here anyway.

He didn’t think about telling Belle who he was. Who she was talking to. He barely gave Percy a chance to remind him to be nice.

He had fucked up and Tina was paying for it.

Fuck.

Calm-- Don’t tell me to calm down. But you need to. Belle can’t help if you're all frazzled. Fuck off Perc. Not happening idiot. Either calm down or I'm taking over. I can do this. My fiancée. Basically our kid yeah? Fuck you

"Apparently I left some really bad connections down below and they came back to haunt me. Not literally." Panic muttered sarcastically waving his hand in the air as if some random ghost would be offended at him.

"Tina was dragged into the underworld and I need to go back as quickly as possible before I cant find her."

BELLE: Belle blinked once.

In that blink, a thousand emotions crashed through her. Fear spiked first--harsh and cold inside of her, as if she’d just been stabbed through with an icicle. A deep, throbbing sadness was left behind in its wake. This was followed by a kind of exhausted recognition. It reminded her of Hercules, showing up at her door with a dead body in his arms. Married to the Lord of the Underworld, this was her life. Hearing these tragedies was just going to be part of the package, a sacrifice she didn’t mind making, no matter how hard. Death would always shroud this house. Death slept in her bed every night.

That did not make bearing this burden any easier.

Because--a mortal could not go into the Underworld without dying.

Surely Panic knew what Belle knew: Attina was, most likely, already dead. If she had been dragged through the veil, she was already lost. Not that Belle would give up just like that, if Belle was that kind of person, she’d not be standing there now, but the path would not be an easy one to try and get Attina back.

“We should sit down,” Belle told Panic gently after that initial moment passed. She drew up her armor then. It was a heavy thing to hold, but Belle had held much heavier before. Her hand reached out and grabbed the frantic Panic by the elbow, tugging him gently but firmly over to the couch and making him sit before she sat down next to him.

“What kind of demons took her? Do you know? If--” she’s still alive “--we need to know where she is if we are going to do anything about it.”

PANIC: Panic took a deep breath but allowed Belle to tug him over. He didn't want to sit. If he sat then he had to think about everything that had happened and was happening. The tidal wave of everything would crash over him and he was sure he might just drown.

He didn't have his mermaid to save him now.

Breath. Breath and I've got you. I can't do this Perc. I can't. You have to because there's no other choice.

Now that was a strange thing where percy was the one calming him. Protecting him. But he would let that because the other option wasn't pleasant.

"It has to be more demons of emotions. I've had my trouble with a few. Greed. Envy. Pride. Anger." The last he was feeling so much he might as well be a demon of it.

"I don't know anything and I don't care. I can't leave her there. I have to get her back."

BELLE: If this was another situation, Belle might find it kind of amusing, the whole concept of “demons of emotions.” Not in a true haha-funny way, but in an ironic way, because it felt almost too accurate. Belle lived most of her life ruled by those kinds of demons--Envy, Panic, even Anger, occasionally Pride. She knew just how dangerous they could be, without their physical manifestations. Yes, that also made her very aware of how dangerous the demon sitting on her couch was, but she also trusted him, in that ill-advised way of hers.

“I know,” Belle told him softly. “We will do what we can, alright? Just--give me a moment. I promise, just one moment.”

With that, she stood up and moved to the mud room, disappearing around the corner. Crouching down on her hands and knees, she crawled along the floor until she found the group of books she was looking for. Grabbing them, she sat up and then stood, making her way back to the living room.

“Until Hades gets here, this should help us get a good start. I’ll need you to tell me everything about these demons. Anything you remember, from your own time in the Underworld. Then, we can make a plan to get her out. We will do everything we can.”

At least, Belle knew that was true. Belle didn’t know what Hades was going to do about Panic, she knew he wasn’t going to be happy, but--either way, Attina was innocent in all of this, and it was their job to make sure innocents didn’t get mixed up in all this Underworld mess to start. At least, that was how Belle saw her Wife of the Ambassador duties.

PANIC: Panic curled in on himself focused only on his and Percy’s heart beat.

Percy’s heartbeat. It wouldn’t be his for much longer.

One moment was enough for Panic to descend into his own mind of chaos. For Percy to peek out and mentally shake Panic until he was willing to look up with tears in his eyes as Belle returned brushing them away.

“Just before we get into all of this - you’re a good person Belle. Mind looking out for Percy for me? Tina too. When she gets back.” Panic didn’t care if it was a long shot. He didn’t care if Belle didn’t think they could get Tina out. Panic had to get her back. He wanted her back here with her sisters and her family.

And after all of this. Panic didn’t think he’d be the one to offer any help.

BELLE: Belle didn’t notice that Panic was crying. Even if she had, she would’ve pretended she didn’t. Knowing what that was like, being so consumed by fear that you could do nothing else but cry. She knew how uncomfortable it was to cry in those situations, how vulnerable you felt. So, she would’ve ignored it, if she’d seen it.

She hadn’t, however, because she was busy flipping through her books, jumping into research. They were in a race against the clock. Belle was familiar with this feeling and she knew that they couldn’t waste a single second.

Though, when Panic started talking, Belle stopped. That anxiety of time running out suspended for a moment and she saw the pain beneath all the rest. See, Belle didn’t like dealing with the pain--thinking about Panic’s pain, or Attina’s fear, or their baby--

She just wanted to get to work.

But, she also felt her heart twist at Panic’s plea and she reached out her hand to grasp his. Her smile was small, but genuine.

“I promise,” Belle told him. “We’ll look after them.” She hesitated, because she wanted to tell him that it would be fine and he would be the one looking after them, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to promise that. A demon of his status escaping once from the Underworld was a feat. Twice was almost unheard of. “If it comes to that, we will make sure they’re taken care of. It’s basically our job.” Well, it wasn’t, not really, but Belle felt like it was.

PANIC: There was a moment of calm thinking about the future, one where Tina and Percy were safe. One where Amelia was with her mom and whatever they decided on Percy being. He didn’t need to be there for them to be happy as long as they were home and safe.

He apologized now. Percy having all the words Panic would say when Attina was back and Panic couldn’t say them himself.

“Thank you.” Panic stated softly though there wouldn’t ever be enough thanks Panic could offer Belle for any help she was able to give. Even just a moment up here more. Even just helping Percy after the fact. Even just being a great friend.

Oh poor Sally. Maybe she saw this coming, Maybe she already knew what he was about to do and Percy wouldn’t have to explain it.

Squeezing her hand back the calm rushed away back into the tidal wave creeping higher and higher. Even as pages flipped to information Panic knew and didn’t know. The tidal wave creep closer and closer. Higher and higher.

At least until the door opened and the water escaped and the Ambassador walked in. The one thing Panic had been avoiding all these years.

HADES: Hades sensed the demon when he saw the lights of his house. And that was when Hades ran.

Before, he’d been sporting a serious, directed walk-- spurred on by the texts Belle sent, couched in rather vague language. He knew that official Ambassador business waited for him at home; he knew that Opal and his wife was safe; he knew that on the scale of potential underworld disasters, this ranked on the lower end, or else Belle wouldn’t have simply texted (she would have, at least, called.) So he’d quickly shut down the store roughly forty minutes earlier than he would have already, and then made his way home.

But when he felt the demon--its energy frenetic, pushing the friendly, sleepy ghosts out of the realm of his home in fright-- Hades had no bloody idea what Belle was thinking.

So he ran, threw open the door of his house before he was several metres there. He rounded in and did not bother to ask questions. It mattered very little to him that Belle was holding a book and the demon was sitting across from her, as if they were having tea. His powers erupted as if an official announcement of his power.

The lights flickered and Panic was dragged across the room toward Hades, and then forced to his knees.

“Try anything and I won’t hesitate to make this especially painful,” Hades threatened and then looked up to see Belle staring at him, exasperated. “What?” he demanded. “You didn’t say you had a bloody demon over!”

PANIC: There was a lot of reasons Panic avoided the ambassador of the underworld.

Hades of course overpowered him.

Panic of course was technically not supposed to be here.

Percy of course was being possessed by a demon.

Neither boy had expected to be ripped from where they were sitting eyes rimmed red in front of said ambassador down on their knees like they needed to beg for their life.

To beg for forgiveness.

To beg for mercy.

No neither boy had expected it would go well. But they hadnt expected to feel the overwhelming and constricting power of Hades.

The thing was this was nothing compared to what Tina was going to have to face so his eyes while red and streaks of tears down his face.

Even with panic swirling in his chest adding to Hades power Panic steeled himself glaring at the Ambassador.

"Fucking hell. Could have just asked would have bowed to you either way-" Panic muttered.

Shut the fuck up He's an asshole Hes doing his job He's an asshole Damn you're annoying. You wanna take over? You're more than welcomed to.

BELLE: The door burst open and Hades’ power swept in with the cold, like a shiver up the spine. Belle barely had time to react before Panic was being yanked across the floor, one of her precious books tumbling underneath him, its spine snapping backwards.

Right. Belle probably should’ve mentioned the demon part. She hadn’t thought about it. A grievous oversight, but, well--Panic was her friend. (A bit diabolical, honestly, on his part. Considering Belle was quite loyal to her friends and despite lying about being a demon (which, fair), Panic had always been a good friend. She couldn’t just turn on him because of what he was...it was kind of her whole thing.) He hadn’t registered in her mind as a demon she needed protection from.

She had gotten up from her seat as Hades whole show had played itself out, her hands in fists on her hips.

“Yes, if I thought that was pertinent information, I would’ve said so.” Which wasn’t exactly the truth, since she had more or less simply forgotten to mention it, but--she needed to be in control of this situation. “Now, let him go. He’s not going to hurt anyone. His name is Panic and he’s a demon of emotion and a father. His fiancee and unborn child have been kidnapped.” Belle raised both her eyebrows slightly in a ‘sound familiar’ gesture. “We’re going to help get them back,” she told her husband matter-of-factly.

Make no mistake, Belle knew she was in trouble, but she also knew that right now was not the time for a domestic. It was time to buckle down and get to work, to help Panic, Attina, and, most importantly, their unborn daughter.

HADES: Hades’ eyebrows twitched up. And then his eyes narrowed.

Belle had always been his partner first in the truest sense of the word-- partner before lover, partner before wife, partner before the mother of his child. He respected what she had to say and sought her input.

However, being summoned here by his partner, not given all the information, and then commanded wasn’t exactly equal treatment, was it? And when it came to the demon kneeling in front of him, Belle’s input was not asked for. It wasn’t needed. For all of the complicated parts of his destiny, Hades had always understood the possession=bad part quite plain. Only mediums could ever handle a possession successfully and to some sort of a just ends. This bloke was not a medium. This demon was not a restless ghost in need of a little closure.

This demon was a demon, possessing a mortal. When Belle spoke of a fiancée and an unborn child, she spoke of the mortal’s fiancée and unborn child. Not the demon’s. Unless--?

He did not let Panic go.

“We are?” Hades said, coldly. “Can we do that after we banish the demon part of him? Unless the fiancée and the unborn child are also demons, in which case, well, I don’t make it a point to save a demon I’ll just have to banish anyway.” He snorted. Clearly that sounded insane; Belle was many things, but not insane. “You’re not telling me the full story. Tell me that, and then I’ll consider thinking about maybe letting him go.”

PANIC: Panic maybe unwisely (most definitely unwisely) wasn't afraid of Hades. But this was his story and Belle had been nice enough to be a friend and to already promise help in spite of her husband's annoyance.

He did however feel a little bad this was all popping up from him.

"They aren't demons. Just me. But my fiancee knows and Percy is more than capable of speaking for himself if you want to talk to him." Panic stated moving his eyes only to glance at Belle before focusing on Hades again. "My past came back to bite me in the ass and now my family is at risk." Panic started before taking a deep breath. Banishment was always an option. He wouldn't have sought both Belle and Hades out if that wasn't on the front of his mind.

"I want you to banish me. I want to go back but I need to figure out a way to get my daughter and Attina back here. They deserve that much even if my daughter has some demon in her which I don't even know how that would work because of Percy. But please. I beg you. Help me save Attina and my daughter." Banish him. Send him away. But bring them back.

BELLE: Right, well, that was fair enough, she supposed.

And, honestly, did Hades really think Attina Triton was a demon? (Unless he didn’t know Panic was dating Attina...had Belle ever mentioned? Probably not, she wasn’t the type to gossip about friends, neither was Hades.) He probably only knew of Panic/Percy in the vaguest of senses anyway. To be fair, Belle and Percy/Panic weren’t exactly the best of friends.

But, right, explaining. She could do that. She was going to do that.

Panic opened his mouth instead.

Belle closed hers with a little wince, though she quickly smoothed out her features. Nothing to do about it now. She would’ve put it differently, but at the end of the day, this was Panic’s life, his family, and he knew best. Except--

“What? Panic, no--” Belle took a step forward before she cut herself off, pressing her lips together and looking at Hades.

“She’s human,” Belle said instead, confirming Panic’s story. “One of the Triton girls. Panic hasn’t done anything wrong,” she added. “He is good.” And Belle would never say this if she didn’t believe it wholly. To her, Hades’ job was not quite so black and white. He was supposed to keep the balance, not be judge, juror, and executioner. Some demons could exist in their world without any problems. Calcifer was an example of this. (Okay, well, there had been the whole Howl-almost-dying thing, but he hadn’t! And Belle had been able to talk to Percy, herself. What he had said made sense to her. Sure, it was strange, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.)

HADES: Hades listened.

Hades didn’t care for what Belle had to say-- Panic’s goodness, here, was irrelevant.

What he did care was for the imbalance struck not here on Earth (though that would be fixed) but down in the Underworld. Panic wouldn’t be permitted to stay, but Attina and her child should be returned if what the demon and Belle said was true. If it was because of the demon’s mistakes, not that of Attina’s-- then the Underworld would give Attina and the child up.

Probably.

“You’ll get your wish,” Hades said smoothly, after a few beats of silence. “You’ll be returned to the Underworld so you can save Attina and her child. But there’s little I can do for you once you’re down there. I may be able to walk all the paths, but the world will recognize you for your true self. And the Underworld will test you-- that’s what it does.” He snorted a little. He always found it a bit dramatic, the Underworld. All its tests, illusions, demands, and sacrifices. But it was to keep the balance, and so that made sense.

“So that means you’ll be leaving your human host behind. He wouldn’t survive otherwise.” Flames lit Hades’ fingers, flickering in a dance. “So. I can be ready when you are, if you’re eager to go now. Not sure what you’ll find in the books beyond the myths.”

PANIC Panic. No Percy. This is what’s gotta be done. Go home, you’ve missed your parents long enough for my whims. Take the money. Go on a trip. See the world. Whatever you want. Go be you. That’s not the point. It never has been. But that’s what it is now. Thanks for the ride bud. I love you.

Pushing Percy back of his mind Panic nodded at Hades. “Never planned on taking him down there in the first place.” Glancing at Belle he hoped she would keep the promise she made. To Percy and to Attina, to Amelia. He didn’t need help on his side of things.

If there was nothing else in the books that could help him then he would just have to figure it out there. He had done this once when he was younger yeah. He could do it again. Tina wasn’t meant for that world. They had to return her. Right?

Steeling his eyes up to Hades, Panic nodded.

“I’m ready.”

HADES: Hades glanced at Belle, but his glance didn’t linger. In the end, this was exactly what he had been born to do. In the end, no matter the other factors at play-- a fiance, a mortal child-- this sort of demon, a demon of emotion, did not belong in this world. His time had run out.

So Hades nodded back at Panic. Their eyes met. And in the mortal’s eyes, Hades could see the dark of the demon, though it wasn’t like any other demon he’d ever faced. Belle was telling the truth and so was Panic-- he did not mean to harm anyone. Despite this, there was no hesitation on Hades’ part, because he also saw acceptance in Panic’s eyes. Acceptance and sadness.

He might never meet his child.

Hades’ heart thudded once for the demon, and then it was stone in his chest.

He pointed at the demon’s feet. Fire jumped to life, licking its way around Panic in a circle, trapping him there so he could not escape from it in case he had any second thoughts. Then Hades moved forward and stepped into the circle with him. He gently put his hand on Panic’s shoulder.

“I wish you luck, I really do,” Hades offered. It was the only gift he could give. And then his hand slid to the demon’s throat, and his fire hissed to life. At its touch, the demon fled from the mortal’s body in a bright flare of blue flame.

Just like that, it was over--

The fire turned into ash on the ground--

The man clutched in Hades’ arms, mortal once more.

#idk how ashley does her tags so #labellerose acheron #trip downtheriverstyx #attina the responsible #sure

2 notes · View notes

ronancegayass · 5 years

Note

Flower Asks: all of them >:3€ (forgive me)

(this is so many omg but I’ll allow it only bc i love u)

Alisons: Sexuality?

Gay af (ace lesbean)

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Waman (she/they)

Amaryllis: Birthday?

November 2nd

Anemone: Favorite flower?

Funnily enough anemones are one of my favs but i think my top favs are chrysanthemums and morning glories but I really love many flowers and flowers in general

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

As of right now, stranger things duh

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Like favors or? I mean I really do try to be a kind and helpful person but if I don’t know somebody or haven’t at least seen them a couple times before I usually don’t do much bc of anxiety

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are.” Lara Croft mostly bc I cant think of anything else right now and that stuck with me

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Like a really good cup of black tea with cream and sugar or sweet tea

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Never been kissed before but I definitely have someone in mind I would kiss ;3

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Hell yeah I am right now and I don’t think I ever have been before now

Baneberries: Favorite song?

Oh hard question... currently really digging We Fell In Love in October by Girl in Red

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

My family is supportive (for the most part) and very loving, even if they express love in weird ways sometimes. We also like to joke around a lot and make fun of each other but in a good way? Like we all have a good time mostly and I get along better with everyone since I started college

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

My girlfriend is my best friend uwu I also have a lot of good friends but yeah

Begonia: Favorite color?

Purble but specifically like a pastel purple and purples that lean more towards blue than pink

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Lynx! I love so many animals tho and I also like many cats and domestic cats in general

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night!

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

Probably would love to just be a loved house cat who gets to lay in front of the fire all day or a lynx bc i love them

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A veterinarian (or a special agent lmao)! I also still plan on being a vet tho even tho I get discouraged at least once a month

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

I mean I like kids and I was a camp counselor for a summer, but I dont really want any of my own

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

Oh god so many things.. Biggest thing would maybe be death/dying? Like if i think about it too much like the possibility of there just being nothing after death freaks me out. That and throwing up/nausea

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I played soccer and then I was a competitive swimmer so i was kind of an athlete? even tho i hated sports

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

I think I would like to go to waffle house, have the perfect cup of tea, spend lots of time with my loved ones and pet my kitties, play video games with my gf, and sit under a tree in the mountains preferably on a warmer day in the fall and watch the sunset

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Very happily taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

Always wanted to visit Norway

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

Really big long hugs, good morning or goodnight messages, and I also really love cards

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

I have 6

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

Yup! I have an industrial, orbital, and 3 earlobe piercings

California Poppy: Height?

5′2 or maybe a little less

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah I think so, but I do also get freaked out easily lmao

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Red flannel, jeans, fuzzy socks, and big dyke boots

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

Yeah I did for a long time and I still sometimes sleep with one or like a bathroom light on if Im sleeping by myself in a new place

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

Either my mom or my dad I dont remember technically who was last bc my parents are visiting me at college

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

Again, never kissed or been kissed! but maybe soon... :0

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

Font? I like the font in Night in the Woods?

Columbine: Are you tired?

Pretty much always either sleepy or tired lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Christmas, getting to see my gf again, and Magfest!

Coneflower: Dream job?

Like a veterinarian but having my own practice and also being able to take in injured wildlife if possible

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert for sure

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Oh repeat question, hell yes

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

Depends what it is but I would go pretty far for somebody I care about and Im also a crazy person and would drive/travel no matter what distance for someone I love

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

Yup! I had a ballerina bunny, named Bunny because I was very creative and I still have her

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Scorpio

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

I think so? I did a lot of cool stuff with my GS troop like our bronze award project and going ziplining and to sliding rock.

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

My GS gold award for sure, that shit was hard work and stressful af

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Umm??? I would tell my dad to eat shit and die and I cant imagine my mom being anything but sweet and supportive so I dont even know

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

You! This morning uwu

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

uhh Im pretty good at making sense of stuff in my science labs and reasoning and im sometimes good at art? I feel like I do traditional better but Im getting better at digital

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

bad at not being impulsive sometimes and bad at dead by daylight

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

a little over a month but officially got a girlfriend who i love very much, my gf came down to visit and we got to chill on the mountains together, and I had a pretty nice birthday

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Good! Got breakfast at a diner with my parents and got coffee and a donut at my fav coffee shop so thats all i really need in life tbh

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Yeah Im happy even tho Im stressed with school at times

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

Get a job after graduation and hopefully get into vet school on the first or second try

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

My kitty, mom, wonderful gf, sister, dead by daylight, heated blanket, apartment, waffle house, my sisters kitty, and my dog

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Donuts, coffee or tea, blankets, video games, and loud music

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hmm... I really like to draw art for those i love, tell them how much i love them even though i can be bad with words, and i just try to spend a lot of time with the people I care about no matter what we are doing

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

uhhh trying to open up more? and Im really proud of my gf

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Going to waffle house. Go to a mountain and hike a little, sit on the top with girlfriend. Admire beauty of mountain countryside. Admire beauty of girlfriend while they admire the beauty of the mountain. Then warm up together with hot chocolate and play video games

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

I like to doodle and do the arts, play video games, and I like to bake sometimes

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

uuuuuuh I have a good friend I’ve known since kindergarten or first grade when I first moved to where I currently live

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

My gf uwu and my mem

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

probably like less than 10

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

I think its really cute especially when you compliment my laugh

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

??? I think I am an okay person? And I try to be a good person and be kind and polite to people

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Umm... I mean I like that Im kind? and Im not fake and I try to be a good person

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

I hate that I procrastinate and that I can get frustrated easily at myself and at situations like crowds and traffic

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

I liked to play ‘restaurant’ with my sister with our littlest pet shops

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

I had a really great best friend named Rachel :c

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

Losing a lot of friends and for being distant for a long time

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

Cutting off a friend that was bad for my mental health and who didnt treat me well even though we were best friends for a long time

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

My name is literally my parents ship name... like they even told me they chose my name by putting their names together lmao but I mean I like my name so i guess its okay..

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Small town in new jersey when I was really, it was nice and family was closer. Then we moved and that was difficult but I ended up adjusting and it was good, had a decent amount of friends and the schools i went to were good

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

For a long time I shared a room with my sister and we had a bunkbed and I had the top bunk of course, when we moved out of the apartment and into a house I got my own room and it was baby blue only because I told my dad that no, I didnt want a fuckin pink room and that was a whole thing lmao

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

It was good? but also sucked a lot. I had a lot of issues with my mental health and struggled for a long while with something. I was bullied and stuff at home wasnt always that great. And i got outed so that was fun. Other than that I enjoyed swimming competitively and I got into art

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

I love my mom!! she is the most Mom mom and is so sweet and always there for me. She helps me out so much with so many things and I just love my mom so much

Onions: Tell about your dad.

I mean I love my dad? And hes better than he used to be, but he still doesnt help with shit and irritates me a lot.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

I never got to know my grandfather on my moms side bc he passed away a few months before i was born and I sort of knew my grandmother but she lived far away and passed away 10 years ago. I usually see my gramma on my dads side the most and I try to visit often and help her out with stuff and I love her even though she can be a bit... racist and shit.. and I sometimes see my grandpa and step grandma but they can be strict about weird shit and always ask a lot of uncomfortable questions

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

I dont really do much on my birthdays? Ive had a lot of nice birthdays and it usually involves going out to dinner or having a nice dinner at home and having birthday cake and playing games like jenga or yahtzee.

Peony: What was your first job?

I did some petsitting for a while but my first real job was being a camp counselor/tower belayer/lifeguard at a girl scout camp

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)?

Met online after following them for a long time and drawing some arts for them, but didnt really start chatting until stranger things 3 came out bc I saw they had just watched it. Didnt meet irl until fursonacon and I just remember seeing them walking up to my car when I got there and just being like .... oh no. I had already had a crush but at that point I was just heart eyes

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

Its a little fucked up but depending on the type of physical pain I like it? Like getting tattoos and stuff.. emotional/mental I just curl up in blankets and listen to sad music lol

Pink: Where is home?

I feel like I have many homes? I feel really at home in the mountains, at home with my family, and when Im with my girlfriend

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Every event no matter how shitty shaped me into who i am today and Im pretty content and lucky with what I have today so maybe nothing?

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

My GS leader Miss Kristin. So incredibly kind and outgoing and just willing to do whatever she can to help others. Shes so adventurous and outgoing and made my gs troop so amazing. She is such a wonderful lady and shes basically like another mom to me.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

To be with my SO in a nice cabin in the mountains with a nice fireplace. Its cozy and we have pets (especially kitties but also maybe a dog and chickens and such) and life is okay and we’re happy

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

God and Santa Claus (i was so heartbroken (over santa not God lmao))

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

My girlfriend and my mom

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

My gfs voice and their laugh c: and I also really like the sound of thunderstorms and rain

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

To see my gf again and for winter break to just be here already I am so done with school lol

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Difficult? I try really hard to express how I feel but I usually mess up and I get anxious but I try my best lol

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

Any of my loved ones and my cat

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

I wish I got more sleep but it was an okay amount

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Good morning texts from my gf and my gf in general

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

I dont currently have a job but I occasionally do art commissions which is usually fun and gives me something to do

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

Any of my flannels and my leather jacket (also not mine but my gfs hoodie they gave to me to borrow)

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

mountains, cabins, flowers, fall, flannel, small coffee shops, pastels

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

Im not one to be picky about gifts? I just love anything that someone put some thought into and thought I would like or reminded them of me but i feel bad if it was something expensive or anything lol

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

Final exams and graduation

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

0 lmao I used to read a shit ton but Ive been picky about what books I want to read lately

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Working towards applying to vet school and maybe thinking about moving out depending on a lot of things.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Unfortunately

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I like collecting pins, pennies, and postcards which is funny to me

(So in conclusion,,, I love my gf)

(wow that was long as hell and took forever but done!)

#long post #ask #sapphicfinalpam

4 notes · View notes

a-kayy47 · 5 years

Text

Learning to Live

I never knew how to be on my own until it was the only option I had. My childrens father had pushed me past my limits. I had let a lot slide in our relationship of the last 7 years, the drugs, the cheating, the occasional beatings, but when I came home and find him in OUR bed with his little tart of a girlfriend and drugs in the house I was officially done! That was our one agreement nothing was to come into our home and be around the kids. I silently thanked God for never letting me marry that man. As soon as I walked in and saw that I calmly turned and walked out and into my daughter's room and started packing her stuff. "Anna she doesnt mean anything to me!" Johnny said as he entered Rayne's room. I scoffed "Isn't that what they all say, Johnny you know Im not even mad anymore. We haven't loved each other in a long time and the only reason I've stayed is because I never thought I could make it on my own. But being on my own would never be as bad as watching the father of your children and a man thats supposed to love you do this right in front of you're face." I said folding Rayne's clothes and putting them in her duffle bag. "Come on dont do this! The kids won't understand." Johnny said grabbing my arm and trying to pull me up. "Let go of me Johnny!" I seethed. "You're not taking my kids away from me!" He said tightening his grip on my arm. "Like you spend time with them anyway." I remarked which earned me a backhand to the face. "Go ahead Johnny slap me around some more it wouldnt be the first time, but it'll sure as fuck be the last!" I said through gritted teeth. That earned me a black eye and a bust lip along with a few cracked ribs I'm sure of. After he was done he gotdressed and left for his afternoon shift like nothing ever happened.

Setting against my daughters bed holding my newly brused ribs all I could do was laugh, how could I be so foolish to stay in a relationship with someone like this for so damn long! I had no more tears to cry. I pulled myself up off the floor and went back to packing my daughter's duffle bag, if I wanted to have our stuff packed by the time the kids got home from school I only had a couple hours. I finished packing Rayne's duffle bags and set them by the top of the steps and moved to Jameson's room to start packing his. After I got everything packed I carried the 6 bags down to the garage and packed them into my Tahoe. After putting the bags into the suv, I went and sat on the front steps waiting for the kids to get off the bus.

Three o'clock rolled around and the bus stopped in front of the house. I watched my two beautiful babies get off and run full force towards me. "Hey momma" Jameson my seven year old greeted me as he sat down beside me. "Hey babies how was your day?" I asked trying to be as normal as I could before I completely up rooted their lives. "Good. Momma whats wrong with your eye?" My 5 year old daughter Rayne asked. She's always been the one to notice the little things "Let's go inside babe and I'll explain everything." I told them getting myself up letting out a wince from my ribs being moved.

"What's going on momma?" Rayne asked. Jameson and her looking intensely at me. "I hate to do this to you babies but...we have have to leave. There is a lot about your dad that you don't know and momma feels that this isn't a safe place for you anymore. So we're going to go on a little roadtrip." I told them holding back tears and trying to make this 'little roadtrip' fun. "Where we going?" Jameson asked. "Where do you guys wanna go?" "Let's go see Aunt Brit!" Rayne said excitedly. "Yeah, I miss her and we havent seen her since she lived in Georgia and thats been like 2 years ago." Jameson replied giving me puppy dog eyes. "Well I guess I could give her a call and shee where she living now and if she'd be up for some company for a while." I told the kids. "Yayyy!" The kids high fived and celebrated with each other. "Okay, Now I already packed your clothes so go grab whatever else you want to bring and put it in the duffle bag that's laying on top of your beds. And remember we wont be coming back here for a very long time so get the stuff you absolutely cant live without. While you guys do that I'll call Aunt Brit." I told them and they scurried up the stairs.

Setting at the bottom of the stairs I dialed Britni's number. After three rings I get an answer. "Hello" Brit greets me. "Hey B how ya been?" I asked almost on the brink of tears. Britni and I haven't talk for a couple years ever since she found out about me knowing that Johnny was cheating on me and using drugs to her I was a fucking idiot and derserved better and she wasn't going to sit around and watch it happen. Good thing she didn't know about the occasional beatings. "Annie?! That you?" She asks halfing yelling. "Yeah it's me, this a bad time?" I ask. "Absolutely not! Let me step out of the garage so I can hear ya better. So what's up? How's the kids?" "They're good. But I do have a favor to ask." I tell her getting straight to the point. "Sure, anything for you and those babies!" She told me. "I'm leaving Johnny and I have no where to go." I muttered out feeling ashamed that it's took this long for me to leave. "Baby girl you know you and those kiddos always have a place with me. I'm just glad you finally left that basturd! I'm working at a garage out in Cali and got a two bedroom apartment just around the corner from the shop. You come on out babygirl I got you!" She told me which brought a smile to my face. Knowing that someone that isn't even related to me could be there for me at the drop of a hat. But then again she always has been since kindergarten. " Thank you so much. You don't even know how thankful I am!" I told her. "Shut your mouth bitch and get your ass out here I miss you and the squrits!" Britni said chuckling. "As soon as they come down from packing toys I'll be on the road! We miss you too something fierce." I told her hearing footsteps coming down the stairs. "Okay, I'll text you the address to the shop cause I'm here 75% of the time." She said inhaling sharply. I figured she was taking a smoke break while talking to me. "Awesome love you babe see you soon!" I told her standing up and turning around to see the kids standing there holding their backpacks ready to go. "Love you to babe. I gotta get back to work keep checking in through." She told me sternly. "Promise." I told her and we ended the call.

"Well babes it sounds like we're heading to California!" I told the kids laughing seeing their jaws drop. They've never been further than Georgia and that was the last trip we took. "That's clear across the country!" Jameson explained. "It sure is baby we have a very long trip ahead of us." I told them walking towards the garage. Coming from West Virginia to California was about a 40 hour drive with no stopping. "Alrighty do you have everything you need or want?" I asked one last time before we got settled in the car to start our journey. "Yepp we got everything momma." Rayne answered. "Let's get buckled in then and get going."

By now it was already 5 o'clock and we haven't even left the county. I figured we better stop and fill up with gas and get some snacks and about 10 ice coffees if I was going to drive through the night. By the time we got back on the road I received a text from Brit with the address of the auto shop she was working. Brit may be a bit ditzy but there was one thing that bitch was good at an that was fixing cars. She had the life that I had always wanted. Getting to travel all over, not being tied down, now don't get me wrong I love my kids to death and would go to war for them but it was never in my agenda to have two kids and an a steady boyfriend at 25 but there I was watching my best friend living the life I had always wanted.

After about the fifth hour of being on the road the kids was fast asleep and that gave me time to drown in my thought. Was I really doing this? Where the hell had I grew the balls to leave? I'm on my own rasing two kids. I'm going to be alone forever, no man in his right mind will ever want a plus size single mom with baggage. I mean I'm not huge at least I don't think so but after having two kids and a love for some good food I'm about a good 16,18 jeans of course my big ol' ass and hips takes up most of the room. And if I do say so myself I've got a pretty nice full rack, and have two full sleeves of tattoos which I've always got compliments on. That and my long black hair with my olive complexion is what first attracted Johnny to me. Wait fuck Johnny dont think about that prick. After that thought is when I turned on my favorite station and started to drown out my thoughts.

Stevie Nicks' voice filled the vehicle and pushed all the negitive thoughts out of my head making me focus on her voice and the road. After another 3 hours of driving I decided it was probably a good idea to stop and get a hotel room for the rest of the night.

Pulling into the rundown motel parking lot, I looked back at my two sleeping kids and thanked the lord of giving me such wonderful blessings even though their dad was a dick, they was perfect. Getting out of the car I opened Jameson's door first and gentley nudged him awake. "Wake up baby." I whispered. "Mommy where are we?" Rayne asked waking up rubbing her eyes along with Jameson. "We're at a motel somewhere in Missouri." I told them unbuckling Jameson then moving to Rayne. None of us slept well in that shitty motel but it was better than nothing. The next morning around 10 we got back on the road. I drove for about 12 hours straight that day and only pulling over at a truck stop to sleep. It wasn't that I was really watching my money since I had been saving all of my tips from the salon for the last 12 months for this trip and working at one of the best salons in three county I made bank. It was the fact that I couldn't sleep in hotels, everytime I would fall asleep I would wake back up thinking that Johnny had found us. Not that he would come for me but he'd come for the kids. This driving for 8 sleeping for 8 had become a routine for us for the last couple of days. And was working pretty well.

After four days of driving and sleeping at trucks stops we was finally in Navada. "Alright kids, you can get unbuckled let's go in and get some snacks!" I told them as I got out. Walking in the the gas station I noticed about four bikes on the opposite side of the gas pump's and smiled it had been so long since I'd been on the back of a bike.

"Okay, now you can get whatever you want but remember you have to eat good food before your candy." I told the kids. As they went picking out their snacks I grab a bottle of water and a blue powerade. When I gathered the kids up I noticed two of the bikers were standing in front of us in line. 'Sons of Anarchy' I thought to myself taking in the kutte. Hearing a Scottish accent they drew my interest more, making me think of Brit she was always a sucker for a man with an accent especially a Scottish one. I watched as the men payed for their gas and cigarettes and walked back out to their bike.

Putting our stuff on the counter for the cashier to ring up and prepaying for gas I handed her cash and picked up our bag.

I got the kids settled into their seat and the snacks passed out then I went to pumping gas still kind of being to nosy for my own good. I couldn't help it though there was something about those bikers that drew me in. As I was eavesdropping I heard the sexiest voice I have EVER heard. Peaking over the pump to see where that husky voice was coming from I looked into the darkest eyes I've ever seen and from that moment on I was hooked. All I got was a subtle wink and I was weak in the knees. I finished pumping and got back into the car and immediately called Brit to tell her about this dark eyed mystery man.

000000000000000

"Talk to me. " Brit answered after the third ring. "Holy Shit I think I'm in love!" I said with a smile on my face. "What the fuck are you talking about? You smoking again?" She asked full out laughing. "Bitch this ain't funny I'm dead serious! We locked eyes over the gas pump, his eyes were so dark it was like he was looking straight to my soul!" I told her with excitement. Good thing the kids had their headphones on so they couldn't hear me gushing about this mystery man. "Chick you really are sex deprived aren't you." She replied to the statement. "Yes but thats beside the point, Im fucking serious. Plus he was with a MC, had Sons of Anarchy on his kutte, along with the other three that was with him. And his friend had an Scottish accent so I can bang dark eyes you bang the scot!" I said acting like we was in highschool again making a plan on how to bang these random guys we didnt even know. All I heard on the other like was Holy Shit and Britni laughing hysterically. "Whats so funny bitch?" I asked "Was you in Navada when you seen these guys?" She asked me. "Yeah why?" I replied confused as to how she knew that. "You'll see when you get here horndog." She said laughing and then hung up. I looked at my phone disgusted. What the fuck was this bitch talking about? Now not only can I not get this mystery man out of my head but now Im thinking about what I'll have awaiting me when we get there.

- In Charming

Brit's POV

Hanging up with Annie all I could do was laugh, Bitch had no idea what she was walking into. As I was walking across the lot from the garage to the clubhouse the guys that we had just been talking about pulled in. "Hey baby how was the run?" I asked my ol' man leaning in for a kiss. " Good as can be expected lovey." He answered in that deep Scottish accent I love oh so much. "Whats goin' on here?" He asked wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leading me into the clubhouse. "Well...there is something I need to talk to you all about." I said sweetly. "What did ye do know lovey?" He asked taking the shot of whiskey the prospect gave him. "You remember me talking about my best friend Annie and her kids? And how her kids sperm donor is a piece of shit and beats on her and is a druggie piece of shit?" I asked getting angry and clenching my teeth just thinking about what all he's done to her. "Easy there darlin' might blow a fuse." Tig joked. "I just hate his fucking guts. She deserves so much better." I told them. "Okay well what about her?" Chibs asked trying to get me back on track. "Well she finally left him and she'll be here." I was telling him before my phone interrupted me. "Well actually she's here now." I said with a little chuckle. "Listen don't worry she knows how this life works, we grew up in my Uncle's clubhouse so she knows the part and let me tell ya she plays it way better than me." I said laughing. "Well fellas I guess lets go meet the lass." Chibs said as Happy and Tig followed us out to the lot curious to see whonthis Annie was.

ANNIE'S POV

I pulled into the lot and it was stepping back in time. It reminded me so much of Uncle Tommy's clubhouse. "Alright darlings we're here." I said letting out a breath I didnt realize I was holding. "Mommy why are we here?" Jameson asked. "This is where Aunt Brit works. We have to meet her here first then we'll follow her to her house." I explained to both of them. While the kids were getting unbuckled I quickly checked my hair and put on some mascara and chapstick. I took one more quick glance in the mirror and saw Britni followed by three guys making their way toward us. I decided it was time to get out, as I got out I pulled the distressed demin shorts down a little in the front so they wouldnt look so short and pulled my shirt up a little so I wasn't showing so much cleavage. "Bitch!!" I heard as I was opening the back door for the kids to get out. I automatically got a huge grin as soon as I heard her voice I had been to damn long since I had seen my best friend. I turned around and immediately stopped when I seen him. It was him dark eyes from the gas station! I was frozen. My heart was pounding out of my chest! As I stood standing there like an idiot the kids took off running to Britni.

"Hey kiddos! You've gotten so big look at you!" Britni said talking a good look at them.

"I'm seven now Aunt Brit!" Jameson told her a little cocky. "Well you're almost a man!" Brit said with a slight chuckle. When I heard her laugh I snapped out of my trance and started paying attention to the exchanges between my children and the Aunt they haven't seen in years. "And look at you babygirl I can't believe how beautiful you are! I'm so glad you took after your mother and not your ugly ass daddy." She said laughing and looked at me. I just rolled my eyes and laughed. Why don't you kids go play over on the swing set while me and your momma talk?" Britni said looking at them. "Can we momma?" Rayne asked. "Go on." I said smiling and kissing both of them on top of the head before they took off running for the pay ground.

"How was the trip?" She asked pulling out a cigarette and handing it to me with a look knowing that I needed one. "It was good the kids were great. They're actually excited about starting over." I remarked taking a hit of the Marlboro red. "So you gonna introduce us to this beautiful women or what?" Tig said looking me up and down. "Shut up Tig you pervet fuck!" She told him. I couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Annie this is my ol'man Filipe or Chibs as most people know him by." She said with a smile plastered to her face. "Nice to meet you!" I said as I studied him a little better, then my eyes went wide! He's P the guy with the accent I thought to myself. " Aye, nice to meet ya lass I've heard lots about ya and thee rugrats." He said with a smile shaking my hand. Yepp that's confirmed, I thought to myself. "That pervet there is Tig." "Nice to meet ya doll." Tig said as he grabbed my hand and kissed it. Dark eyes just rolled his eyes at Tigs gesture. "And that's Happy the grouchy fuck." She said and looked at me with a shit eatting grin on her face. My heart stopped. I could not believe that he was here she knew exactly who I was gushing about! That bitch. "Hi." I said shyly. All I got was a head nood but that was good enough for me.

#sons of anarchy #happy lowman #chibs telford #sons of anarchy fanfiction

16 notes · View notes