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#i can never escape this hellsite

azuremist · 2 years

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A message to Twitter users coming to tumblr: a message from your local duel-hellsite citizen

So, I’ve seen a ton of Twitter users talking about making and sharing their new tumblr blogs, to escape Elon Musk’s “anti censorship” bullshittery. First of all: welcome! I know it’s looking bleak over there; especially for trans people. But, now that you’re here, I’m here to tell you all about tumblr etiquette, how this website works, and how it’s different from Twitter. Because you can’t come onto here acting like it’s Twitter, lest The Beast get to you.

First, here are a small handful of tips and tumblr facts!

Your likes and who you are following are automatically set to public. You can make them private in your settings!

You can block tags from the settings, too.

There are lots of bots on here. If you’re not careful, you could be mistaken for one! The main way you can avoid this is changing your icon and header from the defaults. Adding a bio helps too!

You can queue and schedule posts so that your account posts throughout the day.

Like Twitter, tumblr has a radical feminist and TERF problem. However, they’re pretty easy to spot. There are lots of guides out there to help you learn how to spot tumblr TERFs!

Tumblr, for the most part, does not have any celebrity or brand accounts.

Your tumblr follower count is private.

You can have multiple accounts with the same email, and they’re very easy to switch between! These are called “sideblogs”.

Your main page is not a “timeline”. It is a “dashboard”!

You can have a custom desktop theme using HTML! Think like ye olde MySpace days. There are tons of pre-made tumblr themes available, if you’re not already proficient in HTML; including free ones!

Now, let’s talk tumblr etiquette and how it’s different from Twitter. You’re a tumblr user now! It’s time to start acting like it!

Don’t just like posts. They don’t increase visibility whatsoever. The way that you can help posts that you like is reblogging them to your blog. Especially for art!

We don’t say “oomfs” or “oomfies”. Just “mutuals” is fine, thanks!

Adding onto a post with pointless comments is frowned upon. If all you have to say is “this is so true,” or something else to that effect, you should put that in the tags of your reblog.

Most people don’t have carrds or rentries on here. Some of us do, but it’s not an obligation like it is for Twitter.

Similarly, we don’t censor words like “die” and “death”. Posts about wanting to brutally murder people in power go viral all the time, and it’s completely allowed. I’m serious! Enjoy your newfound freedom!

Blocking isn’t a big deal here. Get rid of any weird notion you have that morality is linked to blocking certain people.

But lastly, and most importantly:

Drop your discourse at the door.

If you try to post about most of the things that Twitter users discourse about, you will be laughed off the site. Especially Twitter LGBT+ discourse. Posts actively mocking topics of Twitter discourse go viral on here regularly.

Tumblr has mostly healed since its discourse-ridden days, and it’s now much more chill. Of course, discourse still happens, but it is so easy to avoid now. For a lot of us, tumblr is the last pleasant social media site left, so don’t ruin it.

Here is a list of discourse-related things that tumblr users don’t do:

Most of us don’t do callout posts, unless it’s something actually serious (like that one blog that had a human slave).

Everything that you heard on Twitter was “exclusive” to certain LGBT+ groups is used by just about everyone on here. Bi women use the double venus symbol on here. You’ll just have to learn to live with that.

In particular, I want to emphasize how much we don’t do flag discourse. To the point that somebody caring about flag discourse of any kind is how we tend to identify an ex-Twitter user.

On here, you will never have to see another slur discourse post again, unless you actively seek it out.

You’re free.

You’re welcome. And enjoy your time on here! If you have the time, please consider watching StrangeÆons’ Tumblr Etiquette Manual on YouTube, as well.

#elon musk #twitter #tumblr culture #tumblr #azure does a thing

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 2 months

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pt IV doctor who but i've never watched it but i know loads about it for sure

It's half past 4 am and I definitely remember everything that you maggots yelled at me about this show I definitely do

There is a slutty head preserved in a jar that had many babies

There is a Doctor who was an OG doctor and his name was Wren or something no WILF RIGHT YES SOMEONE SAID THE DILF THE MILF AND THE HOLY WILF

Michael Sheen is a sexy planet with a mouth

Neil Gaiman wrote some episodes and it was very cool I think he made Michael Sheen the sexy planet

David Tennant I know you all love David Tennant well FUCKING HERE THEN TUMBLR DAVID TENNANT

There are time lords and they are the doctor and everyone was very cross when I asked that because apparently y'all periodically forget you follow me because im dumb

It's like gay or something at some point

Andrew Garfield is a dentist who gets flirted with like you too babygirl or whatever the 10th doctor says

Oh yeah the doctors are the doctor but there are 14 of them and they all go poof and then boom new actor except for 14 where david tennant re-emerges YEAH TUMBLR HEAR THAT I SAID DAVID TENNANT

oh and THEN the fifteenth doctor arrives but he fucking girlbosses a bigeneration and so escapes trauma or something and you all get to keep david tennant YEAH I SAID HIS NAME IF THIS HELLSITE HAD AN ALGORITHM THIS POST WOULD BE TRENDING SO QUICK ISTG

Oh the TARDIS is blue and not fucking yellow sometimes my brain gaslights me and also it can be anything it is a tree but it is a police box because it wants to be due to a glitch that the doctor hasnt fixed coz hes too busy hanging out with donna or being gay or being trans which as I know from experience are both full-time occupations

Theres like an intro or something it goes DOOWEEDOOOO and when i mentioned it people started singing it in the reblogs so like nostaglia hit ig

DAAAAAAAAAAVID TENNANT YOU HERE ME TUMBLR COME AND GET YOUR DAVID TENNANT HE FOUND HIS WIFE HERE YES HE DID HIS FATHER-IN-LAW WAS A DOCTOR YES HE WAS HIS DAUGHTER WAS THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER BUT THEN DAVID'S WIFE SO IDK GO SLAY GEORGIA

10th doctor is kinda bitchboy and we love him for that apparently

12th doctor is girlbossing prideful or maybe it was 11th or 9th WHO'S THE ONE WHO CALLS THE POTATO A POTATO

There are rhinos and they're police they're called Zookas and they transform people into something for their sins

I think it was the rhinos but someone looks like gollum had sex with a dead horse and got impregnated

There's a potato dude (gn)

There's a Meep and Meep's pronouns are Meep which is fab

There's a dude named Harry in the original doctor who

Shitty effects are beloved here

Someone installed a ramp on the tardis

there is someone named rose and the 9th doctor did something with a timeline and lost her to another 9th doctor and everyone's sad about it coz he knew he couldnt give her the life or something

Rose is kissy smoochie with doctor

Donna noble is played by catherine tate who knows less about the show than i do (which isnt saying much clearly im an expert)

The doctor is not actually a doctor it's something about yelling DOCTOR and they say DOCTOR WHO and it's like FUCK YEAH BABA GRIL NAMEDROP

Is this show title a knock knock joke like Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Yes now let me in.

one last time for you sluts DAVID TENNNANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

you're welcome.

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simmerandwrite · 1 year

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Sink Into Me - 05 - mob!Steve Rogers x plus size! reader

Summary: You were simply doing a good deed, pulling the handsome stranger out of the way when a car jumped the curb. Little did you know that the life you saved belonged to Steve Rogers, the Army veteran turned art dealer with connections to the Brooklyn crime syndicate.

Steve Rogers, who won’t stop calling you his guardian angel.

Steve Rogers, whose new goal in life just might be repaying his debt to you.

Steve Rogers, who isn’t shy until it comes to his feelings and will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08

Wordcount: 6k

Warnings: some smut in this one, vague references to violence, canon level violence (series), body image issues (series)

Notes: thank you all for reading! means a lot to me. i’d love to hear your thoughts and remember, a reblog goes a long way for a writer on this hellsite!! ( if you see me in the wild, i’m @simmerandcry)

As happy as you were to have Steve laying beside you in bed, you weren’t ready to sleep yet. Not when you hadn’t seen him in almost a week. Sure, you had both very quickly made up for lost time – you weren’t sure you’d be walking straight tomorrow – but it was these quiet moments, just the two of you, that you cherished the most.

With your head resting on his bare chest, you traced your fingers along the tattoos that decorated his skin. The eagle, the poetry verse, the cross, the script displaying his mother’s name - you liked how they all seemed to tell a story and also provide an extra bit of insight about Steve.

“Which one did you get first?” You asked quietly, propping yourself up slightly to get a better scan of his torso. He had pulled his boxers back on after you cleaned up but he still had plenty of skin showing. “And which one hurt the most?”

Steve glanced at your curious smile then scanned over his chest. “This one hurt the most, against my ribs.” He tipped to the side slightly, revealing a traditional style tattoo that lined the right side of his torso. “And the first..” A laugh escaped him, moving his hand to tug at the waistband of his boxers. He pointed to the faint outline of a fading tattoo, just a few letters that adorned the front of his left hip.

You twisted to see what he was pointing at. “I never noticed that - what does it say? ‘Punk’?”

“Yeah,” Steve was laughing again, running his thumb over the letters. “Me and Buck gave each other tattoos one night. Dumb teenage shit, you know?”

“That’s strangely… endearing,” you laughed along, letting out a long breath and returning to your spot resting against him. “Bucky’s your best friend?”

“Seems a bit juvenile to say it that way, but yeah. I trust him with my life.” Steve circled his arm around you and held you closer somehow. The light touch of his fingertips grazed your shoulders. “Me and him, we’ve.. We’ve been through a lot together.”

“Can you tell me something no one else knows about you?” You closed your eyes, fighting off the heavy wave of sleep that was creeping in. “Not even Bucky?”

“Hmm.” Steve paused, taking the extra moment to press a kiss to the top of your head while he thought of his answer. “I closed on a new property today.”

You opened your eyes again. “Okay, that’s… a fact, I guess.”

His chest rumbled, smirking. “I bought a cabin in Connecticut, near the state border. It’s a little thing - triangle A-frame structure, two bedrooms, comes with a canoe and a kayak, there’s a trail down to a lake..”

You couldn’t help but push yourself up again, turning to smile at him with wide eyes. “It sounds beautiful! Just an investment property orr…”

“No, it’s for me. I want somewhere to escape the city. It needs some work but I want it to be all season.”

“I can’t wait to see some photos.”

“Maybe we could..” Steve trailed off, eyes closing momentarily before he opened just one to peek at you. “Could up there on a weekend? Just us two?”

Your cheeks warmed at the thought of a weekend away with Steve, away from everything, cozy around a fire. “That sounds like a dream.”

“Well, let’s make it happen, sweetheart.”

---

“Hey, you’ve barely even commented on that terrible design - where is your head right now?”

You sighed, tearing your empty stare from your TV across the room and down towards where Maria was sitting on the rug. You had invited her over to binge the latest season of your favourite reality tv fashion show and, well, you were clearly being a bad host.

Truthfully, you were lost in your thoughts. You’d been drawing in them a lot over the past few weeks. You could feel your work life balance slipping away as another busy project season approached. And moving had thrown you for a loop. But mostly your mind was racing thinking about Steve. Your pros and cons list about him and the state of your relationship was growing on each side.

God, the pros were so good. He was attentive, kind and interesting. You both had fun together, you laughed a lot and he cared as much about Hercules as he did you. And the sex was amazing - he really enjoyed taking care of you. Steve was strong in his convictions, fought through adversity, and remained passionate about the things that mattered to him.

But on the other hand, you knew it was fair to have doubts. Steve was busy with work and whatever else was going on in his life and you didn’t see each other as often as you both would like. And there was the large mystery of what he really did for work anyway, though you could put enough pieces together. Quiet phone calls, an endless list of people who seemed to report to him, the illicit activities at the club, his resistance to the police…

“Are you okay?” Maria shifted slightly, pausing the show and turning to look up at you as you clutched a pillow anxiously on the couch.

“I’m just thinking about Steve,” you finally admitted, closing your eyes and collapsing back into the couch.

“What else is new?” Maria joked, eyes narrowed as you watched you. “What’s going on?”

“I’ve been willfully ignorant about his..” You hesitated. “..His work.”

Maria scooted closer, propped up on her knees. “Okay, yeah, let’s dig in because what is all that about? I was kind of joking about the mob thing but..” Her eyes grew dramatically wide. “Wait.” Reaching for her phone, she tapped on the screen and looked back at you. “Hey Google - what does a mob boss do?”

“No, come on,” you laughed, though it was mostly to hide your concern. “It’s going to burst the bubble, you know? The minute I really admit all this out loud.”

Maria scanned over the webpage illuminated on her phone. “It’s kind of a spectrum of information here. Whatever this thing is he’s running, they could have their hands in a lot of stuff like loaning money, tax fraud, political racketeering, illegal weapons, murd–”

Shaking your head, you reached for her phone and took it from her. “Stop, please. I don’t want to..” You sighed and draped your arm across your eyes. “Last week, I was staying over at his place and he got a call in the middle of the night. Something so important he had to leave for an hour but of course he didn’t give me any details. But that can’t be a good thing, right? I’m not an idiot.”

Maria just sighed, your name quiet on her lips. “I know you’re not an idiot. But maybe.. I don’t know. Maybe this was only meant to be short term.”

A beat of silence sat between you both. Eventually, you took a deep breath. “Steve is a good person.”

Maria nudged you with her elbow. “Is he?”

“Yes! The side of him I see is… good, I think.”

“And the side you don’t see?”

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

Maria said your name softly, enticing you to peel your arm away and look at her. “It just sounds like whatever Steve does - lawful or illegal or whatever - it could be dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt or caught up in something you shouldn’t be a part of.”

“I don’t want that either,” you replied quietly. A dramatic groan followed as you fell sideways onto the couch cushions. You knew Steve would never, ever let you get hurt. The real problem though was - what could even be potential harm for you? Wasn’t being with Steve just adding to that big potential risk? Maybe it really was time to admit that and maybe it was time for a hard conversation. “It feels like I met the right person at the wrong time.”

Maria offered you a small sympathetic smile. “It also feels like it’s time for the second bottle of wine.”

---

Even thinking about starting the conversation with Steve intimidated you. Deep down, you knew you were just delaying it on purpose - remaining perfectly content in your honeymoon phase.

After a long workday, you had collected Hercules from his daycare then headed home, showered and talked yourself into being bold enough to bring it up with Steve. You met him at Shield, where he promised he was just about done with some paperwork then you could find somewhere to go for dinner.

You waited patiently in the chair across from his desk, fingers tapping against the arm of the chair as you watched him. Out of all the days, it was this day he had chosen to reveal to you that he sometimes wore reading glasses.

And fuck if he didn’t look even more attractive in a pair of glasses. Now your stomach was swirling with anxiety and something else, too. You weren’t sure how much longer you could contain yourself.

“You okay?” Steve’s voice broke through your thoughts. You met his gaze over the desk. He had stopped his pen from marking up the ledger ahead of him, staring at you with stoic curiosity instead. “I’m almost done, I promise.”

“No, no. Take your time.” You waved your hand and looked anywhere else in the room.

He kept a photo of his mom on the corner of his desk. A framed antique movie poster decorated one wall and–

“Sweetheart?”

You sighed and looked back at him. “I’m fine. Just.. I had a long day. My boss has been micromanaging me like crazy and… just tired, I guess.”

You could tell he didn’t really believe you, but thankfully he didn’t press. He did drop his pen down, though. With one swift motion, he closed his ledger book and leaned back in his chair.

“C’mhere, my tired girl.”

With another sigh, you pretended for a moment to consider rejecting how he was inviting you over to his side of the desk. But you couldn’t resist. You stood and shuffled your way over there, letting him gently perch you on the side of his desk as he stood from his chair.

His hands found your hips quickly, as he leaned down and looked into your eyes. “We don’t have to go out.”

“No, no,” you shook your head. “I want to! I just..” You scrunched up your face, trying to find something convincing to say. “My mind is all over the place today.”

Steve gave you one of his little charming half smiles, slotting himself between your legs and moving his hands up to cradle both your cheeks. His thumb brushed over the apple of your cheeks. “Do you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Before you could let out the breath you were holding, across the room someone banged on the door. Steve grumbled under his breath and opened his mouth to dismiss whoever was there, but instead the door rushed open.

“Rogers, your phone broken? We were supposed to start this meeting twenty –”

You tried to turn your head to see who was there, but Steve held you steady. A series of expletives left his mouth as he stepped back for a moment, shouting towards the door.

“And since when do we meet in my fucking office, Russo?” Steve dropped his hands and moved towards the door, acting as a barrier between you and the opposite side of the room. You craned your neck to see them standing on either side of the doorway.

“I’ll meet you at the bar then..” The other voice eventually replied, footsteps disappearing in the hallway.

“Fuck..” You heard Steve muttering again.

Well, date night was definitely off the table, you were certain of it.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I double booked and –”

“Steve, it’s fine.” You dismissed him immediately, hopping off the desk and meeting him in the middle of the room. “I can take my rotten mood home, it’s probably better this way.”

“I’ll get Shaun to take you home, okay? He should be downstairs.”

You could see the genuine disappointment on Steve’s face. He clearly felt bad that his meeting had slipped his mind but it occurred to you that certain things were probably easier for him to prioritize and, well, where did that leave you?

You just nodded and accepted the offer. Steve grabbed your hand and guided you back down to the main part of the bar, making one quick hand motion to his driver, who immediately jumped to attention and hurried outside to pull a car around.

“Come over after?” You brought your hand up and poked his chest. “I’ll order a pizza?”

He nodded, reaching for his wallet. “Let me pay for it, at least.”

“Steve,” you laughed, stopping his hand and looking over your shoulder briefly. You didn’t recognize a few of the people lingering around the bar, a few of which were clearly watching you and Steve. “It’s okay.”

He sighed, head shaking. When you resisted again, he held up his hands in defense. “Fine, but I’m coming over with a pint of gelato then.”

You smiled. “Sounds amazing.” You looked back again, then raised up onto your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “I’ll see you later.”

---

Steve sent you a few updates throughout the night. That his meeting went longer than he hoped, that they had to meet up with someone else, that he was sorry and would be there soon. When he finally showed up, you had already packed the pizza away and changed into your pajamas to sprawl out on the couch. Hercules was sprawled out under your feet just the same.

When he opened the door, you twisted and offered him a smile. Though it disappeared quickly when you got a better look at him under the lights in your kitchen. You didn’t mean to gasp but when you narrowed your eyes, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

“Steve - are you bleeding?” You leaped up from the couch and met him near the kitchen sink, pulling his shoulder in an attempt to see his neckline better. “There’s blood all over your—“

“Shit.” He took a step back from you, letting out a long breath as he lifted a hand to his collar. “Fucking shit.”

“Are you hurt? What happened?” You twisted your head again, trying to look but he turned away. “Steve.”

Silence hung between you both.

Eventually, he cleared his throat. “I’m fine. It’s…it’s not my blood.”

You took a step back, trying to ignore the heavy feeling that took over your stomach. Maybe you were about to have the dreaded conversation sooner than later.

Steve turned on his heel and looked at you, teeth gritted as he found his words. “It's, uh, an occupational hazard.”

Brow furrowed, you frowned. “This isn’t funny.”

He pulled at his collar and sighed again. “I’m not laughing.”

“Steve.” You walked backwards until you hit your couch, perching yourself on the end with crossed arms as you watched him across the room. He wasn’t making this conversation any easier - shedding his jacket and collared shirt left him in just a goddamn white tanktop and fuck if he didn’t look so incredibly built. “Did you - did you ki-”

He cut you off, head shaking as he muttered out your name. “Please don’t ask that question.”

You took a deep breath. “We have both been ignorant here, okay? And I don’t want to ask but I don’t know if I can avoid it anymore so.. So, you’re in.. the mob? You run the…”

Steve smirked, briefly, then shook his head as his jaw tensed. His discomfort was evident in every twitch. “That’s an archaic term.” He let the air out of his lungs then reached for his jacket. “No, we can’t do this. I won’t do this.”

“Tell me the truth!” Your voice came out louder than you intended, but you carried on. “I’m not an idiot, Steve. And neither are you. I’m smart enough to figure out that whatever you consider your ‘business’ - it’s above the law, or below it, I guess.”

He gritted his teeth for a moment as he considered his words. “Fine. I guess we’re talking about this now.” He paused. “It’s my responsibility to manage a network of people, alright? People who..”

“You can’t even say it out loud,” you scoffed quietly, shaking your head as you looked away.

Steve huffed, calling your name to grab your attention again. “What do you want me to say, huh? That I have a team of people working for me. I loan money, I make trades and get a cut, I turn a blind eye to things when necessary. I don’t always follow the rules or act with civility. That part of my life -I, I don’t want you involved, okay? So forgive me for trying to shield you from that.”

“Don’t act like you’re doing me a favour, Steve!” You sighed. “I don’t get it. You’ve shown me who you are - who you really are - time and time again and that version of you, I just.. how does the Steve who has a little hideaway cottage upstate, who-who funds after school programs in his neighbourhood - how does he kill people!?”

Steve took a step forward, your name on his lips. “Listen to me, I didn’t—”

You choked out a dry laugh “Stop. You have literal blood on your hands.”

He shook his head, mouth agape. “I use force when I need to and I like to ensure my message is understood by any means possible. But unless absolutely necessary, I don’t take lives.”

“How am I supposed to believe that?”

“I told you I’d never lie to you.”

You didn’t reply.

“You called me, sweetheart. Remember?” He closed in the space between you and reached for your hand. “Those idiots were breaking into your apartment and you didn’t dial 911, you called me. Why?”

Hesitantly, you extended your arm and let him squeeze your hand.

He brushed his thumb across your knuckles. “Because you know that deep down, maybe the cops wouldn’t get there quick enough. Maybe they wouldn’t help you at all. You’d get a report, one follow up call and nothing else. I know there are good cops but they are overworked and outnumbered. And the bad ones.. I’m doing my part and taking care of my city in any way I can.”

You looked up at him again. The blood was still staining his neck. With one firm tug, you removed your hand from his hold. Your voice shook. “You should go.”

“I think we need to— ”

You flicked your wrist to the door. “Go.”

Though you could see him resisting, Steve relented and stepped back from you. His mouth opened to argue but snapped shut quickly. Gripping his soiled shirt, he moved towards the doorway.

“Steve?” You stood up and he paused, meeting your glossy eyes. “Do you think you’re a good person?”

“What matters more is if you think I’m a good person, sweetheart.” He paused and waited for a reaction from you but you remained motionless. “I’ll, uh- goodnight. I’m sorry.”

Just as soon as the door clicked shut, you collapsed onto your couch, consumed by your tears.

---

You weren’t entirely sure why your day went so poorly - was it your boss and their awful attitude? Was it the coffee you spilled all over your lap at lunch? Was it the fact that ignoring Steve and every thought about him was grinding on your emotions?

All you wanted was a hot shower and dinner under a blanket on the couch. That was it. You just had to make it home. You figured at least the bad day was behind you as you headed to your apartment. Because you couldn’t imagine it getting worse.

Hah.

You [6:51PM]: hey You [6:51PM]: i know we left everything up in the air You [6:51PM]: but I don’t know what to do You [6:52PM]: I think someone is following me

Maybe you were being paranoid. Because you were in a hurry. For that same reason, you couldn’t be certain the same man from the subway was following you to your bus stop. But when you hesitated and turned down a side street, pretending to be very interested in the fruit display outside some nearby bodega, he slowed down too. And when you opted to turn back and join the line at Starbucks, as a test, he followed.

You tried not to panic.

Your first thought was to message Steve, a habit you had been struggling to resist all week. He’d reached out a handful of times since your fight but you had done a damn good job not replying. But now? He was the first person to come to your mind.

Moments after you reached out to him, your phone rang.

You brought it to your ear as you waited in line. “Hi.”

“Are you safe? Where are you? Can you share your location with me?”

You let out a long breath. “Sure, just a sec.” You pulled your phone away and did as he requested. “Done.”

“That’s perfect, thank you sweetheart. I’m on my way to meet you. Are there a lot of people around you?”

“Yes, plenty.”

“Great. My GPS is telling me you’re at Starbucks? Is that right?”

“Yeah - want me to grab you a cake pop? You seem like the cake pop type.” You paused. “I’m just gonna order - should I call you back or..?”

“No, you’re good. I’ll be right here. Go ahead.”

You smiled at the barista, trying to maintain your composure. Pulling your phone down slightly, you ordered. “Just a tall americano, please. With a bit of milk.”

Steve chirped in your ear. “Decaf?”

Oh, shit. It was after six already. And here Steve was, in the middle of your panic, reminding you of your own caffeine sensitivity. You paused before paying for your drink. “Can you make that decaf, please?”

After you paid, you heard Steve again. “I’m about a block away.” God, he was moving fast. You could hear honking behind him.

“Okay, I’m uh..” You faltered, scanning the crowd for the man who has been following you. You ducked behind a couple sitting at a tall table when you noticed him lingering near the door. “The guy.. I think he’s waiting for me to leave. Maybe. I don’t know, actually. I might have made this whole thing up or -”

“Just stay where you are, keep talking to me.” It sounded like he was walking now. “Whatever your gut tells you, it's important. Nothing wrong with that, I promise.”

You hummed a quiet agreement. That kind of justification did make you feel better but your doubts continued to creep in. Grabbing your drink as your name was called, you took a few steps forwards and finally spotted Steve at the door.

“The guy in the blue jacket?”

You quietly confirmed, finally meeting Steve’s eyes across the sea of people waiting in line. The sight of his smile, though just there for a moment, mostly settled the turmoil in your stomach.

“Just stay right there until I come get you, okay?”

With a final nod, Steve ended the call and returned his phone to his pocket. Then you watched as he very subtly stepped up to the man you had described, leaning in to whisper something in his ear.

The man froze.

Steve reached out and gripped his shoulder, guiding him outside and beyond the window. Then you lost sight of them both and you tried not to let your mind wander.

You sipped your coffee, sliding into a chair at a free table - though you were smart enough to keep your back to the wall, waiting for Steve to come back for you. Finally letting yourself breathe, the gravity of the situation seemed to settle in you. Why was someone following you? Was this connected to the break in at your apartment again? Was it something related to Steve?

Steve.

God, you couldn’t believe how he dropped everything to come protect you from whatever this was, if it was anything at all. Actually, no, you could believe it. Because Steve had proven many times that he cared about you and your wellbeing.

“What matters more is if you think I’m a good person, sweetheart.”

Could a good person do bad things? Didn’t that make them a bad person? Fuck, you didn’t want to get into the moral gymnastics of this again.

You were freed from the spiral of thoughts when Steve dropped into the seat across from you, eyes narrow with concern. You knew he was searching your face for distress, pain, anything.

“You okay?” Finally he spoke, slowly reaching his hand out to grab yours as it sat on the table. You squeezed back as he held on.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“He didn’t touch you?”

“No, no. Kept his distance enough that I was second guessing myself but..”

You wanted to ask who the guy was, if Steve knew him, why he might be following you. But you didn’t really want answers to those questions.

“Let me take you home,” Steve let your hand go and nodded towards the door. “Do you need to get Hercules?”

You revealed a small smile though it faded quickly. “I do.. but..” You swallowed the lump in your throat and closed your eyes. “Can I.. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Okay, let’s grab your boy and we’ll go to my place.”

---

Despite the straight lines and cool tones that decorated Steve’s apartment, you felt comfortable there. The entire journey to get through his door, from the car ride to the elevator, you felt like you were holding your breath. But walking into his living room, as Hercules padded across the kitchen floor to slurp up some water from a dish Steve had left for him, you felt the tension release from your shoulders. Finally.

You fiddled with the sleeves of your sweater as you crossed the room, stopping in front of the large windows that looked down onto the city. You felt small suddenly.

Behind you, Hercules’ wandering footsteps came to an end as he flopped down in the middle of the living room. Then, you could hear Steve walking towards you too, slowly.

He stopped at your side, casting a brief sideways glance to you before he shifted his gaze to the skyline.

You swallowed hard, tangling your hands together as you spoke. “I called you.. that night... Because you make me feel safe, Steve. I can’t really explain it but it’s something I’ve never felt before..” A small laugh escaped you. “Even now, wearing my heart on my sleeve, I think I should be scared and yet..” Turning your head to the side, you met his eyes. “..I’m safe.”

You couldn’t read his reaction. Was it confusion, relief, understanding? He dragged a hand across his jaw before looking away again.

“Steve?” You grabbed his nearest hand. “Thank you.”

To your surprise, Steve pulled his hand back for a moment then turned and brought it up to cradle your cheek. His eyes burned with something you hadn’t seen before - something deep, intense. “You don’t have to thank me - you shouldn’t have to thank anyone for caring about you, sweetheart. It’s an honour — it’s my privilege to keep you safe.”

You were shrouded in him - the intense feeling of protection radiated through his stare, through his touch, his words. Why couldn’t this be easier? Right then, it felt easy but you knew it wouldn’t always be that way.

You closed your eyes briefly then looked back up at him. “What do we do now?”

He licked his lips, resisting breaking eye contact with you. “Who I am- it doesn’t go away.”

“I know. Logically, maybe walking away makes sense.. before this gets more tangled. But I just don’t… that’s not what I want.”

Steve stepped forward, closing in the space between you. “Okay. Then what do you want?”

You couldn’t answer. You wanted to smash your lips into his, run your hands down his back, feel him on top of you. But your logical brain stopped you. With all the willpower you could manage, you pulled away and took a small step back. “I want to.. uhm. Shower. Do you mind if I—”

Steve took a step back too, nodding. “Of course. Yeah. Go ahead. There’s fresh towels in my bathroom..”

With a solemn nod you turned and headed down the hall, doing your best not to look back at him.

Fuck, you were so totally fucked. What the fuck were you doing?

Steve’s shower was incredible compared to the one in the guest room. Spacious, with heated tile on the floor and a rainfall shower head. You turned on the water to warm up as you undressed, opening the door to his small linen cabinet to grab a towel. Then you saw it - the neat stack of your preferred shampoo, conditioner, lotion and body wash.

Had Steve grabbed those just for you? You could cry just thinking of him walking around CVS and matching the toiletries to the ones you kept in your own bathroom. You wrapped the towel around your torso and moved the soaps to the bench in the shower, then peaked your head out the bathroom door.

“Steve?” You called out his name, hearing quick footsteps heading your way.

He stepped into the bedroom and met you at the door frame. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just, uh..” you hesitated, taking a deep breath. “I can’t figure out how the shower works.”

He frowned. “Huh. I can show you the-” His face turned to a smile instead, taking in your coy smirk. With one hand he reached for the hem of his shirt. He gave you another look, as if to make sure you really wanted his company.

You grabbed his hand, letting your towel drop to the floor. “Come on.”

Steve didn’t waste any time tearing off his clothes and joining you under the water. Once you were both well soaked, the whole shower filled with steam as his lips found yours.

He was hungry for you and you were hungry for him too. Gone were the doubts and fears and worries as you were left with just Steve - with his calloused careful hands and his soft lips, his calculated touch. He was a man with a mission.

“Fuck,” you whimpered out, breathless as Steve’s lips moved towards your neck. “Steve, I..”

“Tell me what you need, baby. Tell me and you can have it.” His hands snaked over your body, gliding easily over every inch of your skin.

You gasped as his hands gripped your ass, before slipping around to the front, between your legs.

“There.. Yes,” you breathed out against the shell of his ear. “Make me come, please. Fuck me, tell me I’m yours..”

One of Steve’s hands came back up to capture your lips again, to cradle your jaw as his other started to play a symphony between your legs. His fingers moved gently at first, circling your clit slowly to warm you up. His tongue danced against yours, grinning against your mouth as you let out a tiny whimper. “Is that good? Is this what you need, my love?”

My love? The man was going to kill you, unraveling you inch by inch, touch by touch.

“Yes, yes!” Was all you could muster to reply as Steve sped up, challenging both himself and you to get you there with a bigger impact. You barely had time to prepare yourself for the climax, shaking against his hand as his lips clamped down against the skin of your neck.

You could tell he was going to leave a mark there.

You didn’t care.

In a swift motion, he moved his hand from between your legs to the outside of your thigh, lifting it up against his hip and pulling back enough to align himself with you. On your other leg, you raised yourself onto your toes to meet him and then you heard it - that deep, sensual growl that echoed from his chest.

“Holy fuck, baby,” he seethed through his teeth, head tipped back momentarily as he pushed himself fully into you. You pulled him back to your mouth, holding his cheeks in your hands as you breathed him in. “I need this - need you..”

He collapsed against you, thrusting slow and steady, eliciting a whine from you with every extra push. And then, before you could even understand what was happening, Steve was lifting you - hands gripping the underside of your ass cheeks to hold you steady. You nearly protested, thinking about the sheer physics of what was happening - but damnit, Steve was stronger than you realized.

“I won’t let you fall, baby. Won’t let anything happen to my girl, I promise..” He answered your racing questions without hesitation, keeping you safe and secure in his arms as he fucked into you with an unmatched intensity. Christ, you feared the tiles might shatter behind your back.

“You’re my girl, all mine..”

You wondered momentarily if the subtext behind his words matched yours. When he said you were his, did he mean it? In his heart and soul?

“Wanna do this forever..” He continued, head nestled beside your own as his pace increased. “Wanna make you feel good, happy. Safe. Want you around me forever.”

You were nearly bursting at the seams, anticipating the wave of feelings as another orgasm approached. “Steve..” you were breathless, barely audible in his ear. “Come with me, baby.”

“I’m close..” he returned, pulling back to find your lips. “I’m gonna— ”

He collapsed against you as he reached his peak, grunting as the last motions of his hips tensed and he flooded into you. He held you there, legs shaking around him as you came down from your own climax.

You both caught your breath, lost in the sound of the water hitting the tiled floor.

---

Steve never wanted to take his moments with you for granted, especially in the early morning light. You were a dream under the golden rays - somehow attached to his side in your sweet slumber. This was all he dreamed of. Silent, calm, serenity.

Resisting his urge to check his phone, he shuffled and pulled his arm around you, keeping your back cradled against his chest. Fuck, even your half dressed form under the sheets had him ready to go first thing in the morning.

You rustled under his hold. “Morning..” The rasp of your first spoken words melted his heart.

“Did I wake you?” He asked before pressing a kiss to your neck, hot breath tickling your skin.

“No, no. Internal clock. Herc probably needs to go out..”

“He’s still asleep,” Steve replied, pausing to crane his neck and check on your sleeping dog just outside the doorway to his room. “Content.”

“Me too,” you said quietly, pressing your hips back against Steve. All of him. A low moan escaped you. “Very good morning..”

Steve took that as enough of a cue and let his lips get to work. Kisses were pressed against your neck and shoulders as the hand tucked around your waist reached below your shirt. With every twist of your nipples, your hips moved more aggressively.

Steve grinned. “Let me take care of you, baby.” His hands explored all over - from your chest, across your soft stomach to underneath the waistband of your underwear. “God damn, I love how you feel. All ready for me..”

It wasn’t long before you were shaking at his hands and he was lifting your thigh to slide in, hungry and relentless to really feel you. He held you tight, your bodies moulded together as the city woke up beneath you. Steve breathed out your name again and again, like some kind of secret prayer.

With a firm hand gripping your hip, he let himself go with a possessive growl. God, he could start every day like this forever if you’d let him - a reminder to you both of how he felt for you, how you were tied together, how you’d both get to think back to this moment during every other hour of the day.

Eventually, you had to leave the bed and return to the real world.

Steve took you home, waited as you got changed for work as he caught up on his own outstanding messages. Then he took you to drop off Hercules and delivered you safely to the front door of your office.

After one or two or three kisses, you reached for the handle of your door. He called your name to stop you.

“Steve, I’m already late,” you frowned, tipping your head to watch him.

He sighed, though a small apologetic lined his face. “Just one more thing. Next weekend - would you be up for a road trip to the cabin? We can talk about.. everything.”

You thought for a moment then nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Leaning in, you stole another kiss. “Okay, I’ve gotta get upstairs. Thanks for the ride. I lov-” You blinked and caught yourself. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Steve watched as you hurried away. He sighed, teeth clenched, only putting his car back into drive once you were safely inside.

With a tight grip on the steering wheel, Steve headed into Manhattan. The early morning traffic would normally bother him, but he didn’t mind the extra time with his thoughts before he made it to his meeting.

If he could even call it a meeting. God, he hated the mind games his mentor liked to play. Elusive, tricky and always trying to teach a lesson - Nick Fury was a force to be reckoned with.

Steve pulled up to the The Gemini Hotel, nodding to the young kid scurrying working the valet desk as he handed over his keys and headed inside. Steve didn’t bother even sparing a glance towards the attendant at the front desk and he ignored the concierge too, striding directly to the elevator to head up to the penthouse. Conveniently, he ran smack into Fury’s right hand man once Steve stepped into the elevator.

“You’re about twelve hours late,” Phil Coulson started, eyes stealing ahead as they travelled upwards.

Steve didn’t reply. When the elevator dinged, Steve surged forward and hurried down the hall to the familiar suite. With a grunt, he pushed past the security guard waiting outside the door and made his way inside.

“Good fucking lord, can’t a man read the paper and eat his croissant in peace?”

Steve ignored the commentary from Nick Fury, who was leaning back in an office chair with his feet propped up on the desk. Steve reached across and pulled the newspaper away, slamming his hands down on the desk and staring the other man down. “Fury, we need to talk.”

Up next: drama, probably. and some more Steve POV.

CHAPTER 04 - CHAPTER 06

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfic #mob boss steve rogers #steve rogers x plus size reader #steve rogers x curvy!reader #steve rogers x curvy reader #marvel fanfiction #simmerandwrite #simmerandcry #story: sink into me

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unsaidace · 16 days

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911twt is still banging on about a “Buck kisses Eddie at the wedding/bachelor party, Eddie breaks up with Marisol and Buck breaks up with Tommy” cheating arc as a lead-up to Buddie canon. Apparently, we now have to explain biphobia and stereotyping to that absolute fucking hellsite, so here we go, I guess.

First of all, Buck is freshly confirmed to be bisexual. He’s still discovering what that means for him, and how to navigate this new journey. Not only would a cheating arc completely ruin his character for a lot of people, it would absolutely destroy the joy so many of us felt at finally seeing ourselves accurately, positively represented. I’ll be a Buddie shipper until the day I die, but if we need a fucking cheating arc to make it canon, they can keep it. Hate me all you want for that, but I will straight up refuse to acknowledge Buddie as canon if it takes Eddie cheating on Marisol and Buck “cheating” on Tommy to make it happen.

Second, if you call yourself an LGBTQIA+ ally, yet somehow truly think this is a good idea, I have some news for you; you’re not an ally, and you never were. You’re promoting stereotypes that are harmful to an entire community, and serve no purpose other than demeaning and degrading an entire group of people based on nothing more than their sexual/romantic preferences. Bisexual/Bi-romantic people cannot escape biphobia, even within our own community, and shit like this does absolutely fucking nothing to help us.

Advocating for a cheating plot involving anyone is shitty, but especially with a bisexual character. It’s biphobic and regressive. Bisexuals hear this shit every fucking day of their lives. I’ve heard it since I first came out, 11 goddamn years ago. People constantly talk about how bisexual people are “more likely to cheat”, or “being greedy/indecisive”. I am sick to fucking death of it. I’ve also seen it in several TV shows/fandoms I’ve been in. If we could use some of those rare critical thinking skills here, that’d be great. People cheat because they’re shitty people, regardless of sexuality. Being bisexual does not make someone more likely to cheat, is not an excuse to cheat, and shouldn’t be used as a fucking plot device to enable a TV character to cheat. Do us all a favour, and keep your biphobic plot ideas to your fucking selves.

#911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #how many times am I going to have to tag posts as #this is exactly what the fuck we’re not going to do #before it sinks in for these fucking idiots?#and as always #I wish all homophobes a very get the fuck out of our fandom 🖕🏻

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nkjemisin · 1 year

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I’ll miss you Twitter

Wow. OK, at this point my bet’s on the lettuce.

It’s pretty clear now that Twitter is not long for this world. Testament to staff that the site has held up this long with so many critical personnel gone and functions failing... but everything that has a beginning has an end. I wish All The Twitter Staff who’ve jumped ship a very Quick Job Hunt, and I especially hope all the H1B visa holders who are stuck at Twitter find some kind of escape raft before the ship goes down completely. (Remember that I used to be a career counselor to students and alumni in STEM fields, back in my old day job. I know some of those people. Worried for them.)

Gotta admit, I am enjoying the schadenfreude of watching Elon show his entire ass to the world... but overall Twitter’s demise is bad news. With so much of our (US) mainstream media now taken over by right-wing ideologues, getting accurate information and takes from marginalized groups on societal events is going to get a lot harder. Twitter’s failure is also going to make life harder for every artist you know. I’ll probably be okay at this point in my career, though I guess we’ll just have to wait and see on that. (I’m doing good, y’all, but I think the only authors who don’t need to do any self-marketing are maybe J. K. Rowling, Neil Gaiman, and Stephen King. For the rest of us, the hustle is eternal.) But artists who aren’t as established, academics, and activists are just some of the groups who are going to struggle without that hellsite. Please be sure to seek out your favorite authors, musicians, mutual aid orgs, etc., find out where they’ll be going forward, and support them as best you can.

Anyway. It turned into a toxic mess near the end, but I remember the awe I felt watching the Arab Spring happen on there. I made some friends for life there. Black Twitter! Informative threads about so many topics! Research for some of my books! Hell, I pretty much built my whole professional career there; transitioned there from LJ around the time my first book came out. I’ve gotten career opportunities I never would’ve had there, and made contacts with people I never would’ve dreamed of getting to know. There were so many good moments. But all these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Until the next thing comes along... but that doesn’t mean the loss doesn’t hurt.

#how many sff references can I sneak into this?#I'm corny like that #twitter trainwreck

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yenn-reads · 6 months

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Hey, it's me again.

I don't know if you are still interested in my recommendations, but I have a few more series lined up and those I will tell you about.

It's November, days are getting darker and for this reason I chose some darker fics for you, too. Not 'dead dove don't eat'-dark, but we're getting to the angsty bit of fanfiction for sure. So please, take a look at the warnings before you start reading.

Night Moves

Walter Marshall x OFC Alexandra (💕🔥🌩, status: completed)

This story is how I found @deandoesthingstome. And with this fic she made it easy for me to fall for her writing. If you look at the last recommendations or on my blog you'll see that I adore Charlie and her incredible talent for writing unique stories. And Night Moves is just one example.

Here we get to see Walter Marshall in his element. He's the detective we all know, who loses himself in a case. But he loses himself also in this strong and smart woman. But as Walter and Alex fall for each other, things go south fast.

You're going to be thrilled by this! And don't forget to take a look at the playlist and the deleted scene that I got from Charlie for asking for a director's cut.

You've got me hooked

Captain Syverson x OFC Riley (💕🔥🌩, status: completed)

I read this one on AO3 before I got into the addicting chaos of this hellsite, so I never gave @poledancingdinos the reblogs that she deserved for this. I hope I can make up for it now and someday I will find time for a re-read and proper comments.

Sy and Riley might be strangers, but their life paths cross when Riley needs a roommate and Sy needs a room.

Riley tries her best to keep Sy away from her and Sy might be clueless in more than one way. But when Riley needs help, Sy is there for her.

Those characters are so wonderfully drawn and you'll find yourself rooting for Sy and Riley in no time. There's a playlist too, and a very, very sweet bonus chapter

The way to hell

August Walker x OFC Ingvild (🔥🌩, status: completed)

Okay, I guess I won't need to introduce you to @littlefreya but this story was one of the first things I read when I fell into the rabbit hole of Henry Cavill fandom. And it still occupies my mind from time to time.

Ingvild and August are on their way to finally burn this world to ashes and when you follow their path you will want to join them.

If you haven't already read it, go treat yourself with this love story of August and his angel of destruction. Or maybe you've already read it and think you might want to return to it once more.

Anyway, if you found something here that you enjoyed reading, go tell the writer about it. You will make someone's day a lot better.

Monthly Series Appreciation -Masterlist

#monthly series appreciation #yenn recommends #series #author:deandoesthingstome #author:poledancingdinos #author:littlefreya #captain syverson #walter marshall #august walker

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deepspacedukat · 1 year

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Ok, but what about gentle s** with our favorite blue boy because we’re sad as f and we need this man riding us

I can totally do this, but you really don't have to censor words on this hellsite. This webbed site is where you can say all the Forbidden Social Media Words™ and have no consequences. Welcome from Instagram or whatever site trained you to censor yourself. It's much more fun here lol.

Also, I haven't posted about Thy'lek since JANUARY??? WHO AM I?? I'M SO SORRY, COMMANDER, I STILL LOVE YOU!! 🥺💙

*ahem* Anyway, here's your request, nonny! 😇

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Solace

Thy’lek Shran (ST:ENT) x Reader

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Interspecies sex, Human/Andorian sex, soft!Shran, unprotected sex, gentle sex, non-graphic sex, Thy'lek is good at comforting his lover.

~*~

He’d been good to me - a perfect gentleman who held me as I sought his comfort. From the moment I returned to our quarters, Thy'lek knew something was wrong. He could always read me like a book, even if I never said a word.

"What is it, sweet girl?" He'd asked as he got to his feet, but I couldn't make myself answer. I didn't need to, though. He knew exactly what was wrong. Like Captain Archer, he had his fingers firmly on the pulse of the ship's crew. Whispering soothing little words to me as he pulled me into his arms, the Commander placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

The tears started slowly, but once they had, I couldn't stop them. I was so tired, and this mission was weighing so heavily on me. Nearly the entire crew had been pulling double shifts, and none of us were sleeping well. We desperately needed a break, but until this mission was complete, we couldn't afford to take one.

I'd made so many more mistakes on my last shift than I normally would have. Being berated by my section's commanding officer didn't help my mental state. All I wanted now was to bury myself in bed with Thy'lek and sleep for about a decade.

Moods like this didn't happen very often, because missions that were as demanding as this one were extremely rare. Still, Shran was incredibly patient. He never once told me that I was being silly or that I should just suck it up and move on. Instead, he rubbed patient little patterns on my back and allowed me to ride out my emotions. At some point, he'd carried me to our bed and tangled me carefully in his arms.

When the last sniffle finally escaped me and I took a deep, steadying breath, a soft smile stretched his lips.

"There, now. Did that help a little?" He nuzzled my nose as he asked, and I nodded my head. "How can I make the rest of it better?"

I didn't even need a moment to consider my options. Tilting my head slightly, I placed kisses across my lover's jaw. When my mouth finally reached his, the Commander hummed, sliding his hands down my back to my hips. As the kiss grew gradually more heated, Shran pulled away far enough to look me in the eye.

“Are you sure this is what you want, pretty girl?” He was always so careful, so respectful. God, I loved him.

“Yes. Please, I need you,” I breathed brushing my nose along his. He needed no further encouragement. With a gentle, burning sort of passion, he held my head in place and kissed from my lips down to the dip between my collarbones. I couldn't keep from whimpering at his sweet ministrations.

“Shh, let me take care of you,” Thy’lek murmured nibbling lightly at a hickey he'd left beneath my jaw a few nights before.

“You always do.” He smiled as he started unzipping my uniform, and soon our bodies were entwined in a familiar, intimate dance.

Soft, careful nights like this felt like a sacrament - a convergence of two souls alongside that of our bodies. Slow and steady, leisurely and deliberately we drank of each other. This game of give and take sent shivers up my spine in the wake of his gentle, seeking fingers. For a fighter like Thy’lek to be so unhurried, so painstaking about every touch...it always brought tears to my eyes, and tonight was no exception.

"Am I hurting you?" He whispered as he flipped me onto my back, but I shook my head. Wrapping my arms around him, I surrendered to the sensation of his body melding with mine and his love surrounding me. By the time we fell asleep, we were both out of breath and very much a part of each other.

~*~*~

Taglist:

@bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @horta-in-charge @toebeans-mcgee

#deepspacedukat fic #thy'lek shran x reader #commander thy'lek shran #commander shran x reader #established relationship

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frecklystars · 3 months

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I'm sorry if this is weird to say but I really enjoy your vent art. I don't enjoy your suffering but every time you post vent art it's always so soft and god I missed you. I was horrified when you left, then you came back and I learned everything your abuser did, the whole time you were gone I was worried you died and I was just crying when you came back because I assumed you couldn't fight anymore. You're a fighter and it shows in your art. I'm sorry you feel so bad but Ken loves you, ok?

oh no i totally get it, that's not weird. that's very flattering. i used to make vent art much more often but after i came back from my unplanned 9-month hiatus i was like........ in such shambles i could not draw anything until Barbie breathed life back into me

im really touched that you missed me, even moreso that it had affected you so deeply. im sorry that i worried you. disappearing for 9 months was not supposed to happen. if i knew the person who claimed to be my best friend was going to cut off my other friends from me while i was unable to contact them, spread rumors when i was literally just sitting in a hospital bed and dying, tell other people on this hellsite when asked abt me and where i disappeared to, "oh keri is fine :) don't worry abt her", completely isolate me and track down where i work and call my workplace and demand i speak to her 24/7, attempt to track down where i live, asking my friends behind my back about my family's phone numbers, etc, jesus christ i wish i could go back in time and stop myself from ever interacting with that person. if i knew then what i know now i would have run for the hills

the last year and a half has been the Worst of my entire life. there are so many things behind closed doors i have not posted about, out of fear for my safety. there's so much shit you guys don't know. i'm scared and exhausted all the time.

but im finally at least at a point where im not isolated anymore, im socializing as often as i can, i'm self shipping again even if it's really really fucking hard sometimes, and i'm making baby steps to reclaim all of the characters/things that were turned into triggers. it feels so hopeless sometimes, like all the fighting i've done to escape/heal from my abuser doesn't feel worth it because i am so. tired. all. the time. and still facing unsafe situations regarding that whole goddamn thing. it's been over a year and it doesn't feel like i'm ever going to fully heal if i feel so on edge all the time. but messages like this always help me feel better. im sorry you've had to see my at my worst for so many months now

thank you for taking the time to send this, i appreciate you more than i can put into words rn. mentally giving you so many hugs. and hey, thank you for appreciating my vent art. if i don't draw out my feelings i think i'd go crazy haha, so i'm glad at least one person feels Something when looking at it, i'm glad it can give you some positive feelings. and thank you for missing me. even if you and i have never spoken one-on-one, you should know i missed you too. i missed all the positive connections i had with everyone and every single kind word in my inbox is refreshing and a reminder of that.

#anonymous #asks

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whenemmafallsinlove · 1 year

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hi besties. i definitely planned to take a longer break than this, and didn't post that i was taking a break to be dramatic or anything (although i hope after so many years of blogging on this hellsite, y'all know me better than that)... but i finally logged on my computer to turn off anonymous asks and block all the hate anons and saw everything you guys have said to me. this is gonna be a long post so do the lil keep reading if ya care!

words cannot express how much all the dm's ive gotten, you guys have sent to briley for me, the asks, and the things you've said to kristin in my defense mean to me. i truly just cannot put it in words. i can't. this has been the darkest couple of weeks for me in this fandom - ever. truly. the hate started a couple of weeks ago over something completely unrelated and every day i thought it couldn't get worse and every day it has. i've told kristin and briley (my girlfriend) multiple times that i've had hate on tumblr before, but it truly does NOT compare to what i've had on twitter these past couple of days + the asks sent to me by twitter users thanks to the one person who pushed people to "be creative" in anon.

i'm doing my best to get back to each and every one of you personally. i'll be answering asks privately only to prevent clogging of the dashboard because i truly feel horrible that i've just been coming on here to bitch and moan about how this hate is affecting me. and i just don't want people to think i'm seeking attention, because i'm not.

it's been a hard year. some of you may remember my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. so that's been challenging (she's doing amazingly after her mastectomy though! it's just still. tricky to navigate.)

fandom was always my escape. even the occasional times we had drama on here.. it sucked, and then we all moved on, because by and large we are capable of nuance on this website. as a friend who i'm not sure if she would prefer to remain anonymous or not wisely advised me, twitter is incapable of nuance. i am hopeful i will feel safe enough to return there someday (and who knows, maybe i'll be popping in from time to time there too - i've received so much support there as well) but never in teh open capacity that i can be my nuanced self on here with you guys.

this site is special. you guys are special. i feel like a fucking drama queen and i'm sorry for all this shit. i love you guys. thanks for being my friends.

#txt #jesus what is wrong w me lol

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frogger-irl · 2 years

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physically I am in this office building but mentally I am doodling my crush’s last name in my notebook before logging onto tumblr dot com and posting pictures of sam winchester in a flower crown

#tumblr history #so tired of adulting #adulting #superwholock #i can never escape this hellsite #this is sure a website #supernatural #sam winchester #spn #what was my old username?#why is living so expensive #i’m not having fun #tumblr

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piscespixiewastaken · 7 months

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So Who is Pisces Pixie?

Hello, and welcome to my weird corner of chaos on this equally and moreso chaotic hellsite. I am a fanfic writer, attempter of fanart, and aspiring author if I can actually get my butt in gear to finish something.

I am a married Christian woman, no kids yet, just two annoyingly adorable cats. While I am okay with minors following me, please understand I will probably not follow you back if you are a minor, and I will not interact with you via messages if I am aware you are a minor. Just a personal boundary for your safety and mine.

I mostly reblog fandom works, fandom memes, writing memes, other memes, world heritage posts, PSAs on writing and general life advice (never give out personal info on the internet, kids), and other random items I find on my dashboard.

My fandoms include, in no particular order (subject to change abruptly and without warning):

Books: Artemis Fowl, Lord of the Rings (and anything Tolkien), Chronicles of Narnia, Redwall, Inkheart,

Movies/TV: Over the Garden Wall, Avatar the Last Airbender, Miraculous Ladybug, The Dragon Prince, Hazbin Hotel

Anime/Manga: Yona of the Dawn, Pandora Hearts, My Hero Academia, Black Butler, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood,

Podcasts: The Magnus Archives, Malevolent, Omen Podcast, The White Vault, Welcome to Nightvale, Limetown,

Online Content: Dream SMP, Hermitcraft, Nexpo

Occasionally, I’ll post my own writing or reblog from my writing sideblog. I write for the Artemis Fowl and DSMP fandoms, with some WIPs for Yona of the Dawn (which may never see the light of day). Speaking of writing….

Tumblr-exclusive Artemis Fowl AU—Jon Says No to Fairies (ongoing):

No Fairy Friends Allowed

Caged Bird

Despair and Desperation

Escape

The Fickleness of Hope

Safe?

Sweet Dreams

Looking for more fics? Check out my AO3, PiscesPixie!

Want to see my unhinged MCYT content? That’s been moved to @andtheuniversesaidyouareloved!

(What’s with “wastaken” on my blog name, you ask? Look, I swear to you it was there before I started getting into the DSMP. The name piscespixie was quite literally taken, and I did not want to come up with some funky _piscespixie_846 crap. That’s it.)

Hope you find me entertaining enough to stick around. Heavens knows I don’t.

#piscespixie #welcome to my blog #jon says no fairies au

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joyflameball · 9 months

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SUBMIT A TICKET. I'M SERIOUS. Send Tumblr a ticket letting you know you don't like the choice. I did so, leaving it under the cut. Don't yell curses at them, try to calmly let them know "Hey, I don't like this layout."

I genuinely hate the new layout. It's overwhelming and distressing and claustrophobic, and it makes me feel like there's too much on screen. It feels just awful to use, and I mean it with all my heart when I say it makes me want to log off.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this in my last ticket, but I'm mentioning it now: AT THE VERY LEAST, please make the new layout toggleable. Let us have control over our user experience. You do that with so many other aspects of the site! So if users prefer the new design, they can have it, but if users prefer the old design, they can have that!

And I'm fairly certain you made the change because you want it to be more familiar to those jumping from Twitter. However, me personally, I have never used Twitter in my life, and I have no interest in ever doing so. Besides, I don't want this site to look like Twitter or Instagram, I want it to look like Tumblr. Like, Tumblr isn't like most social media sites, I find little reason to mimic those social media sites's designs through a claustrophobic look that makes it disorienting, overwhelming, and more difficult to use. Blatantly mimicking the site that many people are coming to this website to escape isn't a good thing.

(AT THE VERY LEAST, make it so the panel on the left can be collapsed, like on mobile. That is the very least of what I want. I would prefer if going back to the old design entirely could be an option, but at least let us change the panels' sizes.)

As a side note: If Tumblr is so difficult to use for so many people, why not make a tutorial? Like, if you haven't been on the site for a year or more, or if you're just making an account, have something like "Hey, this site works a bit differently from others, do you want a tutorial so we can show you the ropes?" And you can select no if you don't need that!

I am begging you: prioritize our choices. Let us have control over our experiences. And you need money, so like please just set up a donate button for Tumblr. Set up a fundraiser if you have to. Try and get Automattic to give you money. They're worth 7.5 billion, if they can't lend you any money they're frankly fucking cowards. Please. Let US choose how we want to experience the site. It's our hellsite too. I love Tumblr, I love the communities, I love how you can curate your experiences in a way no other site allows. I don't want it to be distressing and overwhelming to use.

I'm genuinely begging here.

#cassie rambles #hellsite (derogatory)#tumblr #tumblr layouts

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snnydcysarch · 4 months

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GETTING TO KNOW YOU .

respond to the following prompts out of character . then , tag 9 others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better .

ROLEPLAYER NAME: lumi

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she / her

MUSE NAME: allison jade "sonny" munroe

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: discord if we're mutuals, especially since tumblr eats my ims

EXPERIENCE: i want to say 2012??? i was a baby and should have NOT been here jkbsjgbrekj

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: yes

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: am i about to copy and paste my list since i have done this before? you bet your ass i am

plagiarism. whether it be a character or a plot idea, don't steal from anybody. people work hard on their characters and plots. i understand not many plots can be considered original, but everyone comes up with their own twists. stop stealing.

white washing. as a poc person, i have dealt with a lot of racism both irl and on tumblr. it was to a point i took two years off of this hellsite. so do not change a poc character into a white one. we've been erased as it is. and if you struggle trying to match a character to its race, do not feel afraid to ask someone for help on it. there are also websites that show you an fc's ethnicity as well.

not knowing where the line is between mun and muse. they are two completely different things.

god modding. for the love of all that is chuck, do not control what anyone else's character does!! we all control our own characters and that's how it should be. this also means doing something crazy that someone else may not approve of so if you want to do something, ask first.

force ship, simple as that

anon hate. seriously, that kind of negativity should never be welcomed nor encouraged. we all come here to escape as it is so just let everyone have fun writing.

people acting better than others. i'm sorry but no one is superior over anyone else.

lack of communication. we're all grown adults here. if there's a problem, just communicate.

trash talking someone's portrayal. realistically, we all interpret canon characters differently than others and that is okay. no one's version is right or wrong. no one is the "chanel/walmart" version.

shit stirrers. people don't get along sometimes, it happens. but don't be someone who fuels the fire between two people when all they wanted was to clear the air and talk.

rushing people to reply and shaming them when they don't reply fast enough. everyone has real lives and can't always get to it. now a simple nudge to let someone know they replied maybe weeks later just in case they missed it is fine. but if you're going to put pressure on people? stop.

using mental health as an excuse to be a shitty person. many people here suffer with different kinds of disorders and that is no one's fault. but that does not mean it's a pass to be a horrible person. you choose how to treat people around you. you choose whether or not to be a good person.

i can go on and on, but we don't have time for that so here is the rest of the list on the top of my head: self victimizing, ignoring triggers, trying to control your rp partners, bullying, not understanding that rping is a hobby and not a jobby, lack of respect for female characters both canon and oc, ect.

PLOTS OR MEMES: yes. honestly i like memes to start things off that lead into plots. so yes.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: literally depends on my mood rkbsgjrekbg i like short things that lead into long things.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: when i'm not depressy and burnt out kjrebgsjkrbe

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: we have similar traits? we both go out of our way to help people before we burn ourselves out. we both get treated poorly by the people we are close to fml. we're both very clumsy. she's also not afraid to stand up for herself, which i have been better at. she will fight for those she loves and same. we both can't flirt for shit. however, sonny is A LOT nicer than me.

TAGGED BY : @lupaeus

TAGGING : YOU X 9

#𝙼𝙴 𝙼𝚈𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴 . . . dash game

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snnynatural · 10 days

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN!

Name: lumi!

Pronouns: she/her

Most Active Muses: sonny on this blog and on @snnydcys , @greatcstarcher is second , i do have other blogs that you can find here

RP Pet Peeves: oh god, to list a few...

lack of respect for female characters both canon and oc. i can't say enough that female muses deserve to be seen. especially poc female muses.

not knowing where the line is between mun and muse. they are two completely different things.

god modding. for the love of all that is chuck, do not control what anyone else's character does. we all control our own characters and that's how it should be. this also means doing something crazy that someone else may not approve of so if you want to do something, ask first.

demanding people read your rules, but you don't do the same. everyone has different rules for each of their blogs. respect goes both ways. so if they read your rules, please do the same. they are there for a reason.

force ship, simple as that

anon hate. seriously, that kind of negativity should never be welcomed nor encouraged. we all come here to escape as it is so just let everyone have fun writing.

lack of communication. we're all grown adults here. if there's a problem, just communicate.

rushing people to reply and shaming them when they don't reply fast enough. everyone has real lives and can't always get to it. or maybe they don't just have muse for it and need time away from it. now a simple nudge to let someone know they replied maybe weeks later just in case they missed it is fine. but if you're going to put pressure on people? stop.

i can go on and on, but we don't have time for that so here is the rest of the list on the top of my head for now: self victimizing, ignoring triggers, trying to control your rp partners, bullying, hovering, spreading lies about people, gate keeping, face chasing, racism, not understanding boundaries, not understanding that rping is a hobby and not a jobby, ect.

Experience/How Many Years: a long as time that for the earlier years... i shouldn't have JBESGKBKB

Fluff, Angst, or Smut: yes. i love both angst and fluff so much, but if for example i am doing too much angst, i would want a break for fluff so that way there is time for me to breathe. for smut, as long as i'm comfortable with you, i'll do it. but if i don't know you or have never written with you before, i most likely won't.

Plots or Memes: i love memes that inspire plotting. cause as much as i love plotting, sometimes i don't know what i actually want. unless a plot randomly hits me out of nowhere.

Long or Short Replies: depends on my brain. short replies are fun for crack and silly things, but longer threads for actually plots and things.

Time to Write: when my brain feels like it! i don't force myself to write if i don't want to.

Are You Like Your Muses: i would say i am in a way. more than i realized? more so her disney canon version. we both give are all to the people we love and care about, even if it means never putting ourselves first. being clumsy ekbrkg. we both get walked all over by people that we love. she's not afraid to be herself and stand up for herself, which i'm not afraid of being myself but i'm working on standing up for myself more.

tagged by @rebuiltmyself ( my bb <3 )

tagging : youuuuuuu

#𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙻𝙴 𝚂𝙰𝙵𝙴𝙷𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙴 . . . dash game

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hymnoire · 7 months

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✉️ RANDOM POSITIVITY MESSAGE FOR LYNNIE, DELIVERY TIME 📬 all hail the queen of writing lesbeans and toxic women!!!! I adore your writing so much; it is always soooo fun to read a new reply, and I’m always having some kind of screaming-fit by the end of it!! whether my muses have fallen deeper in love with one of yours, or want to KILL THEM, they always make you feel something. all of your characters are so unique and fascinating and deep; I could meet a million lynnie characters and never get bored…

and that’s not even beginning to mention how fun, funny, patient, and thoughtful you are out of character. 🥺 an actual angel on this hellsite!!! but she can write a demon character so perfectly 🩵🤍

thank you for your being here and being a friend 😊😊

love,

a humble lynnie stan account

STOP. I'm going to cry and combust this is soooo sweet, I'm smiling through the entire message aww I love you Winter. I'm laughing you called me queen of lesbians and toxic women and I'm here like Yes, that IS my brand! I sometimes take a lot of time to reply to something you know because I want to give it all, I want someone to read my replies and be excited and get AGITATED, like I truly craft them, so for you to say that, it means the Universe. Honestly I'm so thankful for you as my partner and so thankful for your muses in my muses lives, you give me so much INSPIRATION it's amazingly fun and exciting to plot and to write with you please know that. I mean all the plots we have make me go feral and we get to explore so many different dynamics ( literally soulmates here, prison besties there, we got gang leaders bros, weird cellmates team, mortal enemies, EVERYTHING ) phew thank you for being my partner! Hehehe you're an angel too. I came on Tumblr 9 months ago to escape from a toxic rp community, that was the best decision I ever made, I feel good here with you ( and our friends ), I cherish our safe creative place ♡

#@ 𝐋𝐘𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒 / yadiyada.#I LOVE YOU WINTER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #I'M SO HAPPY IM GIGGLING #Best partner <33333

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