Hi Fishblr people, I need help

So I wanted to ask for advice. I have two goldfish(?) that I may or may not have rescued from my uni because they were used for an experiment. Every other fish used in the experiment died, with only the two survivors. They are Brobbles and Yoimiya. I knew my neighbour had fish, I tried to ask if they wanted these two but they already had six full-grown fancy goldfish (I don't know what kind) and could not take them. So the responsibility kinda fell to me. I bought a tank. I know 20 gallons is the minimum, but I was forced to take this 30x25x30cm tank (it's a 5-gallon, I think?), and I know it's been stressing both of them. It's way too small, I know. Brobbles is really aggressive and territorial and nips and chases Yoimiya and I feel bad for Yoimiya because her(?) tail is cut short. I really was hoping to get that 20-gallon tank because I knew this would happen, but unfortunately, I couldn't. Is there any way I can lessen the stress? Make Brobbles less aggressive or anything? Yoimiya is struggling with Ich I believe and I've already bought a heater (it's shipping for a few days) and added in a teaspoon of no-additive rock salt (could've been aquarium salts but from what I saw, rock salt was fine as long as there aren't any additives), changed the water and added a few drops of methylene blue to it too. I know I probably shouldn't have taken them in being so underprepared, but I thought them being stuck in a water bottle left to die and seeping into chemicals was probably not the life they deserved. I just felt bad for them, and now I really truly do want them to feel better. Please be nice to me, I'm really a beginner. I just want these little fish to know life better than being stuck in a lab and suffocating in chemicals.

Hunting and gathering for u ♡

Canon

Yuji my beloved

In tears

.... too soon

In tears but in a vastly different way

SISI GIFTS!! *jumping up and down* this is OUR love language this makes me so happy.

please leave megumi alone he is an ipad baby but that’s fine!!!! the yuuji one… safe to say i was CACKLING. bursted out laughing so hard as soon as i saw she/her dear god

bkg is secretly such a sappy little cutie pie i know it and i love him so much i should talk about him more because i’m not normal about him at all im actually STUCK on him. also im going to look away from both of the todoroki siblings right now because the rei and dabi one made me so sad i had to go back to the yuuji video

Long overdue

Summary: You're famous and a part of the stranger things cast.You joined the show this season together with Joseph, whom you have a huge crush on, and even though you always thought he didn't like you that way, turns out, you might have been wrong all along...

Warnings: Smut: oral sex(female receiving), unprotected sex

Pairing: Joseph Quinn x fem!reader

Don't judge me for this one ok? It was 2 am and I kept seeing tiktoks of his interviews and I just HAD to write about  it, but I repeat it was 2 am so it's not my best work

"We're interviewing the cast of stranger things and here with us, we have Joe Keery, Maya Hawke, Joseph Quinn, and Y/N Y/LN!" the interviewer said enthusiastically, making you cringe a bit. You tough you would have gotten used by now to all of Hollywood's exuberance, but apparently, you hadn't. You were sitting in two rows, Maya and Keery were in front of you and Joe. You gave your best smile to the journalist as she began with the questions. "So, first of all, I wanna congratulate you on this new amazing season, I have watched the first two episodes at the premiere and I can't wait to see the rest!" She said, with a big smile. You laughed softly as Joe and Maya politely thanked her. "ok, now that we've gotten that out of the way let's start with the questions," she said, looking down at a card she had in her hand where the questions were probably written. "Ok so, the first one is for the newest cast members, of course. Y/N and Joseph How was it? Getting the part, entering such a huge production and working with all of these people?" the interviewer asked You cleared your throat, this was about the hundredth time you had gotten this question and you were really starting to hate it. "Wow" you chuckled "Those are a lot of questions.No but yea, I mean, When I got the part I was obviously very happy, and I was so in shock that I didn't believe it at first, and then when I had to go on set for the first time I was really scared because, you know, everyone knew each other and they were all friends and I was kind of the new kid in school, but everyone was really friendly and we all became friends really quickly. So yeah, getting to be a part of this is really amazing, and.." you were starting to run out of things to say "and I'm really grateful for it" You ended with a smile, turning to Joseph to silently ask for help. You always hated the awkward moment after you had answered a question and everyone was silent, but thankfully Joe looked at you briefly and realized you wanted him to speak and did as he was requested. "It was the same for me, at first I didn't know anyone, so it was scary but then we all started to bond and it was really nice," he said, his accent making you smile internally. You turned to him as he was finished and smiled, thanking him for helping you out, he smile back, his eyes glancing for a second too long at your lips. The next two questions were for your other castmates, so you could relax. You loved your job, you really did, but when you had first gotten into this industry you naively thought that it was just about learning your lines and acting in front of a camera, unfortunately, though, you had quickly realized that you hadn't taken into account all of the rest, all of the press tours, interviews, paparazzi and people asking for your autograph. It wasn't that you hated it per se it's just that you felt anxious all of the time, especially during interviews. You had told that to Joseph the night before the press tour started. You were at the hotel bar, having a drink before going to bed and you had told him about how you still felt panicked every time someone asked you something and he had offered to help, and for now, he had maintained his promise "So, Y/N" you had zoned out and the interviewer's shrill voice startled you. Joe noticed and chuckled softly. You subtly sent him a threatening look. "Who was the funniest person on set?"  the woman asked "Uhh, well, I have to say that everyone is really funny. Like, I always have a great time shooting with all of them, but if I really have to choose" You paused a moment, pretending to be thinking. You already knew the answer, but you had learned that when responding to questions like these you always had to be very gentle about it "I have to say Joseph. We just had a lot of scenes together and we had so much fun on set" you said truthfully, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked at you and licked his lips before grinning. You felt butterflies. Fuck, how was he so hot without even trying? You would have been lying if you said that you didn't have a crush on him. You hated yourself for it, but it was the truth. You had liked him from the first moment that you had met him. He was just so incredibly nice and funny and you fell for him almost immediately. At first, it was just a stupid little crush, but as time went by and you started to spend more and more time together even outside of work you became utterly infatuated. Every time he smiled at you or touched you, even in the slightest you would melt and need a second to recover. You seriously doubted that he didn't realize the effect he had on you, I mean, how could he be so blind? You literally blushed at everything he said, but even if he did he had never done anything about it, and neither had you to be fair. There had been times when you felt like something would have happened if it wasn't for the fact that you always got interrupted. There was the time in his trailer when you were practicing a scene and he got so close to you you could feel his lips almost touching yours and you swore he was about to lean closer when Finn came in. There was the time when you had fallen asleep on his shoulder during a break in between scenes and as you woke up you saw him staring at you. There was the time at the bar. You had finished filming late and went there with the rest of the cast to blow off some steam, you both had a few drinks and after a while, you went out to smoke a cigarette and he followed you. As you talked the alcohol must have had his effect because you remember telling him that there was a girl at the bar that was obviously flirting with him and that he should have flirted back and him saying " I enjoy flirting with you much more" with a low tone while he looked at you straight in the eyes and reached out his hand to stroke your cheek, making you blush and leaving you speechless. But even that time nothing happened because Natalia and Charlie decided to come out of the bar that same second and just like that, the moment was gone. Since filming finished you hadn't seen each other very often and you thought that was a good thing. Getting your mind off of him for a while would definitely do you some good, and it did, it did until you saw him again, until the press tour started, and since you are the two new characters and everyone says they "like your chemistry together" you are stuck with him every day, all day, which would be a good thing if it wasn't that he was just so damn distracting. Maya was talking and absentmindedly you started bouncing your leg up and down. You always did it when you were nervous but your agent always told you not to do it during interviews, because it made you look anxious, which you were, but the public didn't need to know that. You were staring at your hands when you felt a hand on your thigh. A shiver went through your whole body as you realized it was Joseph's hand. You swallowed nervously and looked up at him. he looked at you reassuringly and then at your leg, making you understand to stop bouncing your leg. A soft "oh" escaped your mouth before you smiled at him gratefully and stopped the movement. You went back to listening to the journalist but, to your surprise, he didn't move his hand, making it hard for you to focus. He must have known what he was doing because for the rest of the interview he had a smug look on his face, while you were trying your best to keep your breathing normal as he started to draw patterns on your thigh with his thumb. Having Maya and Keery in front of you, thankfully the camera and the journalist couldn't see what he was doing, but they could definitely see your face turning red.

"All right, thanks guys, and congrats on the new season" The interview was finally over and you hadn't listened to a second of it. You all thanked the journalist and shacked her hand. Joe did the same, having to reluctantly remove his hand from your leg, finally rendering you able to breathe normally again. There were way too many thoughts going through your head and you needed to calm down, thankfully, You had a twenty-minute break now, so you turned to Maya and asked her to come to the bathroom with you.

"fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck" you started freaking out right when you got into the bathroom. "What?" Maya asked, visibly concerned "He touched my leg and I think I'm gonna have a heart attack" you said, panicked. Maya laughed. You looked sternly at her "This is serious, ok? I don't know why but he makes me feel like I'm fucking 13 all over again" you said desperately putting your head in your hands. You sat on the floor and looked up at her, pouting. She sat beside you, still smiling. Obviously, she was enjoying this. You put your head on her shoulder. "Y/N" she said, her voice calm "you are an idiot" She stated. You looked up at her, pretending to be offended "He obviously likes you" She said. You rolled your eyes "Why? because he touched my leg? What is this elementary school?" You said, waving your hands around you. Maya chuckled "First of all, you are the one who said that he made you feel 13 again. And secondly, not just this, but all of the other times you told me about. Like come on Y/N, it's obvious! " she laughed softly "He literally always stares at you and he brings you coffee every morning!" she exclaimed" Every morning! Who does that?!" She laughed. You punched her shoulder playfully "Hey, it's our little ritual" you said, smiling just thinking about it. He had started bringing you coffee every morning when you were filming because he had noticed how you were always tired, and now he had started doing it again for the press tour. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for you and it always put you in a good mood for the whole day. It became a tradition pretty quickly and as you chatted while drinking, you had started to get to know each other better, becoming closer and closer. "Oh, come on, you are literally smiling just thinking about it. You are SO down for him" Maya said, making fun of you You groaned"I hate you" you said, getting up "Y/N, I swear to god, if you don't tell him how you feel I will" Maya said, exasperated "I can't Maya" "Why not? He obviously reciprocates!"She said frustrated You sighed "Whatever, we need to get back now" you said, helping her up.

It had been a tiring day and you were laying on your bed in your hotel room, staring at the ceiling while the tv was playing in the background. You had just finished showering and you were in your bathrobe, contemplating whether or not to even put on your pajama or to just turn the light off and get under the covers like that. Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard a knock at the door. You frowned, confused. You had no idea who it could have been. You opened the door and your mouth fell open as you saw who was standing in front of you. Joe smirked at you "Well, this is definitely a look" he said, pointing at your bathrobe. You blushed and cleared your throat, trying to clear your mind "W-what are you doing here?" you asked, feigning nonchalance. He smirked and raised his eyebrow "that's not a nice way to greet your guests" he joked "and to answer your question, I was bored and I was wondering if you wanted to do something" he said, his voice lowering. "What did you wanna do?" you asked he licked his lips "Whatever you wanna do, darling" he said suggestively. You rolled your eyes, pretending not to be affected by his words. "Get it, idiot"You said, turning around and walking towards the bathroom "I'm gonna get dressed, and then we'll decide what to do" you told him. He entered the room and closed the door behind him "that's a shame, I liked this outfit " he said, smirking. You shot him an annoyed look, took your clothes, and went into the bathroom "I'll be right back"

this must have been a world record. You had gotten ready in like 5 minutes. You had put on a tight green dress a designer had gifted you and a tiny bit of makeup just to look presentable. Fortunately, you hadn't washed your hair and they were somehow still styled how the hairdresser had done them this morning. You looked hot, there was no other way of putting it.

You got out of the bathroom and you saw Joe's jaw fall to the floor. You laughed, proud of yourself "Oh stop" you said. He swallowed "I'm sorry, you just look really beautiful" he said grinning. You blushed, and just like that, he had all the power again. "can you help me with the zipper, I can't reach it" you asked him, walking towards him. he got up from the bed he was sitting on and you positioned yourself in front of him, before turning around. You felt his finger travel down your back and you shivered. He put one of his hands on your waist and you held your breath. You felt him smile behind you. He put his hand on the zipper and slowly started going up. You could feel his hot breath on your neck and your breathing got faster. He got to the last bit of the zipper but stopped. "What are you doing?" you asked, in a low voice "Something I should have done a long time ago" he whispered on your neck before kissing the spot under your ear. You gasped softly. "Joseph" you said. "I know you want this too Y/N " With one swift move he turned you around and looked at you straight in the eyes "tell me you don't" he murmured against your lips. You looked up at him and stayed silent. He smiled at you and without notice, he attacked your lips, with a hungry and wanting kiss. It took you a moment to realize that that was really happening, but as soon as you did, you kissed him back with the same passion, throwing your arms around his neck. His hands started exploring your whole body, caressing your ass and going up and down your back. His mouth hungrily explored yours and you could feel his beard grazing your chin. "God, this is even better than I had imagined" he said out of breath, breaking the kiss. You smiled "You had imagined this?" you asked shily. "A lot more than I should have" he said, before pushing you on the bed. You bit your lip as he leaned in to trail kisses down your neck. You moaned softly as he started sucking a spot on your neck. You could feel him smirk, as his fingers slid slowly under the hem of your dress, making you whimper. he kept sucking as his right hand made its way up to your panties, gently touching your core through them. "You're so wet already darling" he hissed, kissing your neck one last time before getting on his knees. You bit your bottom lip as your breathing got faster and you propped yourself up on your elbows. He looked up at you and grinned as he started pushing your dress up. You squirmed under his touch as he kept pulling your dress more and more out of the way until it was rolled up at your waist. "Open your legs Y/N" he said in a low growl, and you immediately did as you were told. He leaned in and kissed your still-clothed core, making a desperate whine escape your lips. he kissed it again, and you whined again, this time more desperately. "Please" you muttered almost inaudibly He smirked as he moved your underwear to the side. "Since you asked so nicely," he said, before gripping your waist and without warning licked your folds. You moaned loudly. He did the same movement with his tongue a few times before starting to suck your clit relentlessly. "Oh my go- Joseph-" You shouted as he spread your legs even more and put them on either side of his shoulders, pushing you even closer to him. he started caressing the outside of your thighs as his tongue made its way through your entrance, making you gasp before going back to your clit. You moaned again, this time even louder, and started grinding on his face, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge. He gripped your waist to stop you from moving, making you whine. He kept sucking your clit until you were in ecstasy, you threw your head back, overwhelmed by the pleasure. "I-I'm gonna cum" you said, finding it difficult to form a coherent sentence. Joe chuckled and the vibrations from his voice sent a wave of pleasure through your body "Not yet my darling," he kissed your clit " I want to feel you come on my cock" he said leaning away from and taking your legs off his shoulders You whined as he stood up and you pouted at him. He grinned at you "You're gonna have to be patient Y/N" he said, quickly taking off all of his clothes. You decided to do the same so you sat on the bed and pulled off your dress. He stared at you as you did and once you were in front of him only wearing panties he licked his lips and smirked. "You are so fucking hot" he purred, before leaning and kissing you again desperately, letting you taste yourself. You could feel his boner through his boxers and it weirdly turned you one even more. Your hand traveled down to his cock and you started touching it through his underwear, making him hiss. "Y/N" he said, his voice strained. You smirked at him as your hands made their way in his boxers and you started stroking his cock, already feeling a bit of precum on his tip. "fuck" he groaned, before taking his boxers off and pulling your panties off of you, throwing them behind him. You whimpered as he positioned himself between your folds, looking down at you before pushing himself into you aggressively. "OH MY GOD JOSEPH" you screamed, overwhelmed with the feeling of being stretched out so perfectly. He groaned lowly as he started thrusting in and out of you faster and faster. "You feel so fucking good" he said out of breath, gripping your waist in order to make you stay put. He started pounding into you even harder, hitting your g-spot perfectly. The room filled with your filthy moans and the sound of your bodies meeting each other. One of his hands made its way to your clit and he started circling it, making you cry out even louder. "You're so hot when you're getting fucked" he growled, thrusting into you again, while still circling your clitoris. "Please-Joseph, I'm gonna cum" you moaned, desperately "c-can I cum? Please?" you asked , gripping his biceps, while basically begging him. "come on my cock Y/N, make me feel how good you can squeeze me sweetheart" he ordered with a deep voice, never slowing his pace. Those words tippled you over the edge, making you cum while moaning his name over and over like a prayer. He groaned at the feeling of your walls tightening around him and you knew he was getting closer. "Where do you want it" he said, out of breath. You didn't even need to think about it. You opened your mouth and looked at him innocently. He groaned loudly, clearly liking your choice. He quickly pulled out of you and you immediately got on the ground and on your knees as he started stroking his dick. "You are way too good for me Y/N" he murmured. You opened your mouth and in just a few moments you felt his warm fluid fill your mouth and you swallowed immediately, looking up at him and smiling. "We should have done this a long time ago" he said, chuckling and helping you up before kissing you again, this time more gently.

"Did you have a good night?" Maya asked you while you sat down at the table for breakfast. You panicked a second and cleared your throat. "Uhh, yeah, I slept fine" you lied "Well, that's good, because I didn't. It's kinda hard to sleep when you and Joseph are having extremely loud sex in the room next to mine" She said, with an annoyed but also sarcastic tone. You spat your orange juice back into the glass and started laughing like crazy "I'm sorry Maya, we'll be quieter next time" you promised, smiling at her.

hi friends :) i’ve been putting this off HARD due to obvious circumstances in the fandom recently and strong opinions that have been circulating.

unfortunately it’s not possible for me to do so anymore that my inbox is filled with 160+ requests with sexual content. from my standpoint; this situation is incredibly bizarre and concerning. the infantilization of three 20 year old men is weird as fuck standing by itself, let alone coming from 14, 15, 16 year old girls. i myself as an adult can promise you that they are more disturbed by adolescents feeling the need to mother them rather than any content that could be written about them. i promise! with my most gentle and sincere intentions, i’d like those reading this to please stop and think.. and think deep. these are not minors. these are not people that are actively speaking out against “being sexualized”, - in fact, they made multiple videos of them reading content of themselves willingly and matt even made multiple joking requests to ‘make them weirder’.. if they had a genuine grievance i promise you that they would not willingly, and multiple times at that, read these types of things and record it and put it out. obviously in the fan fiction videos they are uncomfortable- and it would be bizarre if they weren’t! considering their fanbase is primarily minors! it would be concerning if they were eating it up! obviously they’re not going to be swaying their feet and giggling? please, let’s get a grip. the violent defense against writing for them (which by the way, may i add, if you do not want to read it / are made uncomfortable by the content, you can SCROLL! just swipe your finger up across the screen! hope that helps!) is beyond disturbing. and, they find it comical as well; nick just commented on a tiktok yesterday regarding sexual audios saying “they’re gonna quit” laughing his ass off at how insane some of u are.. they do not care. i’m sorry! they don’t. if they knew that peoples addresses were being leaked and people were being threatened with death over the head of FANFICTION about them they would be absolutely appalled: leaps and bounds more appalled than they would be if they were to read any pieces (which they aren’t, might i add: if you think chris and matt sturniolo have tumblr / google ao3 please get on meds). these are adults. GROWN ADULTS. i promise you that they do not need the defense of 11-16 year old girls. if they were bothered by this they would have explicitly spoken out at this point. the fanfiction video was not the cry for help that you all think it was. AND. they are so fucking busy; fan fictions written about them are at the bottom of their give a fuck list. infantilization of men older than you is WEIRD. every single male that has ever been on the internet has had fan fiction written about them and world war three did NOT start! your behavior is insane and embarrassing. nick matt and chris think you’re bizarre. they can defend themselves.

please losen the fuck up. please.

and : i’ve been lurking for a LONG long time. and i can very much confirm that some of these freaks making these posts and coming out against this were liking, requesting and even posting shit even worse than what they’re coming out against before it was a trend to be a weirdo infantilizating freak!! you know who you are!!!

as far as my account goes; i am unfortunately scared for my safety to post that content as people have literally had their personal information leaked.. and if you do not see an issue with that i am begging you to delete tumblr, unfollow the triplets and put the phone down. they would hate u and so do i. 💕

note: incest fics and nick fics with a female are absolutely fucking repulsive and are not okay!! that is a completely different story. i’m not okay with that i just want to make that clear .

if you have a different view that’s okay. block me or scroll! or read in secret and accidentally like one of my posts again! that’s okay too! love you i’ll write soon

[ 1 ] 𓇼 TWILIGHT ZONE content warnings: strong language, mommy issues word count: 2.8k previous ⋆ masterlist ⋆ next

“Raiden. Raiden Scaramouche, please report to the office.” Scaramouche raised a brow, confused. He knows that he’s a delinquent, but it doesn’t mean he pulled pranks and atrocities all the time. Besides, what’s the point of even calling him to the office? The school year is ending, finals are over, and summer is rolling in.

Childe, or what Scaramouche likes calling him, a parasite, turned to him, “’Mouchie,”

Disgusted, “Don’t you dare call me that! I know where you live.”

Scaramouche’s threats used to be more terrifying but the more you get to know him, you’ll know that they were only used to scare you off; he’s just all bark, no bite. Most people’s faces would fall immediately, running off to pick up the dignity they have left. But Childe isn’t like most people; unfortunate for Scaramouche since Childe is used to his sharp words since middle school, Childe only laughed off the threat, getting used to Scaramouche's empty filled threats. He's all bark, no bite. “So What did you do this time?”

“How the fuck am i supposed to know?” Scaramouche replied, being as confused as him. The indigo haired male rolled his eyes as his friend’s empty ones glanced to the side who was avoiding his gaze,

“Sheesh, my bad.” Childe replied, holding up his hands to defend himself.

“Raiden Scaramouche, please head to the office.'' The speaker spoke again as Childe tugged him in the direction of the office. The fluorescent, bright lights flickering above Scaramouche, he yanked off Childe’s hand off his sleeve, “whatever.”

As the bell rang for the next class, people stared at Scaramouche while he walked to the office. not because he’s the infamous guy who causes trouble just to cackle at the faces of terror, but because he’s beautiful. Scaramouche isn’t being full of himself though; the case being more evident when he saw someone raise their phone at him... with flash. 

Well, some people would think that Scaramouche is full of himself for saying that, but have you seen Twitter, or hell, even, Tiktok? So many unsolicited pictures or videos of him being edited and being posted to Lana Del Rey or Chase Atlantis. The comments on those videos are like the reign of terror. Scaramouche considers those comments more terrifying or scary than whatever Scaramouche and “his” goons do during school.

Arriving at the office, he meets eyes with one of the office hags, Xianyun, who greeted him with a thin lined smile. She didn’t even look him in the eyes, just clacking away at her screen. This is why that old bitch has glasses. “Hello, Mr. Scaramouche.”

He scrunched his nose, leaning back, her words were laced in saccharin, too sweet to be sincere. Scaramouche hated her fake pleasantries especially when they’re both aware of how much they don’t like each other. Small talk and being polite for the sake of being nice annoyed him, pretending to be nice isn’t as polite as people may think. Cutting to the chase, he crossed his arms, “Why was I called? I didn't do shit this time.”

Watching the fine lines wrinkles in her face creased, she looked away from her screen. She made direct eye contact with Scaramouche. It doesn’t matter if her gaze might be too hard to handle, he lives with the CEO of the Raiden Shogun Corporations… 

or known as his mother. 

Now, he got her attention. she sat up straight, pinching her nose bridge. The older woman gritted her teeth, “Mr. Scaramouche, please do not curse in a school setting. as it goes against the rules; it may disturb others with sensitive ears. please go to the principal morax’s office, i’m sure you’ll be more comfortable there.”

Scaramouche smiled a little not because the older woman dissed him, but because there was no longer an uncomfortable barrier between the two, but instead something he was comfortable with, bitter and straight forward. “Whatever.” he quipped back, giving the amount of attitude the office lady gave to him.

As he walked past her desk, she mumbled under her breath, “Fucking brat.” Scaramouche pivoted on his heel, “Oh, Miss Xianyun,”

The office lady turned her chair towards his direction, despite dying her hair, she would definitely grow more gray hairs after this. “Please don’t curse in an educational setting. it may disturb people with sensitive ears.” Watching the woman’s face twist into annoyance as he chuckled quietly to himself. Serves her right!

He walked into Mr. Morax’s office; it looked the same as always. A big, stuffy office with no a/c but the only room without flickering lights and a bunch of old man decorations on the shelves and some pictures of his kids— Scaramouche squinted at the framed pictures, Xiao and Ganyu. Wow, what a great parent unlike some people. With a frown adorning his face, he greeted the principal, “Hey.” Throwing his backpack on the carpeted floors, he pulled out one of the two brown chairs in front of the older male’s desk, slouching in the chair. Mr. Morax didn’t pay any attention to Scaramouche’s attitude, which Scaramouche liked or disliked? The principal treated him like everyone else, but he wasn’t dismissive of the indigo haired male’s distracting actions. “What’s the problem?”

Mr. Morax explained the issue to him, resting his gloved hands on the desk, “Your mother had called and said that she’s pulling you out of school early due to technical issues.”

Scaramouche's face twitched, his mother? What the hell does she want? “What?”

“Yes, she said that she’ll be there in twenty-” Mr. Morax scooted his chair towards his computer which had a yellow sticky note attached to it. He peeled it from the screen, reading the rushed handwriting, he corrected himself. “— I apologize, in ten minutes, your mother will pick you up. please grab your needed essentials and go home.”

Scaramouche wanted to argue back, not wanting to face his mother and the consequences that come with it. but he glanced at Mr. Morax's eyes, knowing that even if he fights back, the old man will have his way and it would be worse than it would have been initially. “Fine.”  He didn’t mean to say it so bitterly, but he did. but the real question is why did he react like that?

Was it because he viewed that man as his “father”? He wanted to laugh at himself. Don’t be stupid. He slung his backpack, his mood becoming grouchier than before. Out of the office, sitting on the golden yellow benches that had been graffitied before being painted back to its boring solid color. Despite wearing sweats, the temperature of the bench seared him as if he was salmon, but instead finding a seat in the cool shadows, he's just as stubborn as his own mother. 

He stayed in the same seat.

Beep!

A Cadillac honked at Scaramouche just before he got up to curse out the car. it was his mother and most importantly, her girlfriend in the driver seat. the pink haired hag, yae miko who taunted Scaramouche that she would take his mother away from him forever. Well, to be fair, it was a joke and she always meant it jokingly, but Scaramouche was eleven who didn’t know any better. He took that joke too seriously. but of course, there’s other instances where yae pulled that pissed him off. He'd rather not get into that, otherwise, it would be a long day.

“Scaramouche, get in the damn car, we don’t have all day.” the pink haired hag hollered. she could be even louder the way she spoke, waking up the damn archons from their rest.

“Shut up, hag!” is what Scaramouche wanted to reply with. But instead, Scaramouche grumbled whatever, opening the door. He saw his youngest sister, Mikoto, the prized daughter who would get the seat of CEO in the company. If that little shit wasn’t born, he’d be the one being praised and loved. the one above the rest instead being the one among the others.

When Scaramouche sat down, buckled in his seatbelt. He took out his phone, plugging his ears with music. In his peripheral vision, his sister Mikoto whispered to her older brother, “Good afternoon, Big brother.”

Even though he wasn’t paying attention, he knew what she said. the dyed haired male recoiled from the title. He never accepted her as his little sister, why did she think she had the place to call him that? boiling it down to being all his mother and yae’s fault, they must be forcing a bond between the two of them. “Don’t call me that.”

“Ah, I'm sorry, big– Scaramouche.” his little sister flinched back, fiddling with her braids. Even though he did feel a little guilty, Scaramouche shifted to the side, looking through the window.

When Scaramouche arrived at the house, his mother took him into her office whilst yae went somewhere with mikoto. he was seated in the velvet chairs in front of her desk. Unlike the behavior he has at school, he’s more polite. Sitting in the chair, no manspread and he adjusted his collar. His mother was in front of him, writing something down. With the way his mother was talking to him, stern but firm, he thought, Maybe I am getting that CEO spot instead of Mikoto.

“Kunizukushi.” Oh!, she’s using the family name instead of “Scaramouche”, maybe he is getting that position. “As your school year is coming to an end and summer is coming up, I believe that you aren’t ready for the CEO position. Instead,” she placed a sticky post it note in front of the male. “You will go to auntie nahida’s summer house to help her out with her duties in fontaine.”

Whatever remaining pride scaramouche had crumbled before him, he no longer had a reason to keep up a façade, his mother already knows, they already know. “What do you mean I’m no longer fit for the CEO position, mother?”

When he was born, as if he was a puppet, ei shaped her son as someone who would take over the family’s business. but as he grew up, she saw that he wasn’t fit for the position, other than being empathetic towards others but he was too like her sister, who was forced to be in this position. She didn’t want that kind of responsibility on her son’s shoulders.

As Scaramouche's voice got louder, his mother kept staying calm. “Don’t you use that tone with me, Kunizukushi, I say this with all the love in my heart that you are simply too empathic to work as the sole owner.”

The tension between the two only grew worse; as the indigo haired male stood up, making his chair fall behind him. He said through gritted teeth, “I've been working for this my entire life and you’re throwing it all away because I'm too “nice”? you think that’s fucking nice? Have you seen how people perceive me in school? Have you?” if she had seen him as the infamous sixth member of the group he was a part of, the Fatui, they would call it. When were people making eye contact with him? in the hallways, in class, in the locker rooms or hell, even outside of school.Those idiotic people were in fear. in fear of the troubles that Scaramouche would wreak havoc over them. 

“Just because you are seen as terrifying there, it doesn’t mean you aren’t empathetic. you aren’t fit because you are prone to your emotions. You don’t control your feelings, they control you. Kuni, you will be sent to Nahida's summer house by tomorrow, pack up.”

Scaramouche's eyes twitched, “What?” Despite his tone, he was tapping his foot on the carpeted floor. 

Her voice grew more stern, holding her ground. He played with his fingers, nervous of the outcome even though he knew what was coming. “Don’t talk back to me. Return to your room and pack up, you’re leaving tomorrow. Take the note with you.” 

The tension was as thick as the fog on Tsurumi Island. Just before Scaramouche scoffed at his mother, he took the note from the office.

 “Whatever.”

When he left the office, making sure to slam the door behind him. Although his room wasn’t far from the office, it felt like it was dragging on. He trudged through the hallways all the way to his room, ignoring the family portraits that stared daggers into his back. 

The moment he walked into his room; the weight of the tension was lifted off his shoulders. He laid on his bed followed by a sigh of relief.

What a day. What a total waste of a day.

Scaramouche wondered if his sister wasn’t born, would he be in the position? Or would it be doomed in every universe. He rolled to his side, burying his face into the

He burrowed himself into his blankets, not caring to take off his “outside schools”. Years of training to be the exact leader for the company wasted just because of some stupid reason. Scaramouche's dream ever since he was a kid was to take over. But after this talk with his mother… correction, “mother” is not even her name, Ei. 

after that?

 he doesn’t even know if it was really his or her dream.

[Morning]

Someone knocked on the door, “Scaramouche, get out of your room.” 

“Piss off.” He mumbled, mostly out of habit. The person– probably Yae chuckled. 

The sun peeked through his blinds; he groaned as he fought the struggle to slip back into his bed sheets. A pang of realization hit him when he remembered that he didn’t pack at all. God, Ei would be a pain in the ass. He burrowed out of his bed, his head peeking out to find a luggage already set and ready to go and his step-mother was leaning at the door, “Scaramouche, I packed some of your things. Your aunt has some clothes or swim shorts for you at her villa. Don’t be an ass to her and you’re lucky that your mom wanted to play nice with you.”

Yae continued, pulling the comforter off Scaramouche’s body, he shivered, yanking the blanket back and pulled it over his head. “Get up, the jet is ready for you.” She crossed her arms, “If you go, I’ll put a good word for you to Ei.”

Despite knowing it was bait to get him out of bed, Scaramouche kicked the comforter off of him and walked to his bathroom. Yae looked over his shoulder, pointing out, “Your roots look rough. Oh! There’s a white hair.” She plucked a white hair from his head, he tossed a glare at her, she only laughed.  

“Are you leaving?” Scaramouche asked,  on his way to his bathroom. She hummed out a reply but he waited until he heard the door closed. He stared himself in the mirror and shit, Yae was right. he does need to redo his roots, his natural black hair peeking out. There isn’t any time to retouch it, he’d do it later when he comes back from the vacation to his aunt. 

Even though he is ready to go, physically. He isn’t mentally, not getting why his mother is sending him on a getaway trip. He laughed at himself, pulling his luggage into the jet. every other kid would be happy that their mom is sending them off to some place with beaches, Scaramouche just wants to ensure his spot that he was born and meant for. it’s his role. no one else’s. 

Well, that is what he insists on. The jet was comfortable at least. Fluffy blankets draped on the seats, a pillow on each one and a basket of snacks on the table tied with a bow and a card. His mother decked out the private jet with things she thinks her son would like. From miniature snacks to different kinds of gifts to “make up” what she did yesterday, parental guilt. It always gets them somehow. 

Scaramouche picked up a bag from the small basket, opening it as he picked up the notecard from his mother. “Kunizukushi, I apologize for my behavior yesterday. But you will understand why I sent you to your aunt’s when you’re older or hopefully, when you’re more mature.” 

“‘when you’re more mature’? I’m even more mature than you old ass hag.” Scaramouche mumbled before pausing. “Nevermind.” 

He opened the window’s blinds, seeing his sister leaning on Yae’s hand, she waved goodbye to him. He shut the window immediately and cracked it open a little. When Yae wasn’t looking, he waved back, he guessed that older sibling guilt is quite similar to parental ones. Leaning on his hand, he fell back to the much needed sleep. 

Maybe she was right. He needed this.

taglist [ open / bold means i cannot tag you]: @practicoi @saccharine-sucks @veekoko @aruastu @jllyfsh-lvr @scaranthropy

Kind of war

Title: Kind of war.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Avenger!Mutant!Reader.

Word count: 215 words.

Square: D2 “World War III.”

Rating: Teen.

Summary: You and Steve won't sign the Accords.

Major Tags: Fluff, angst, mention of war.

Additional tags: This is my entry to @cabottombingo Captain Bottom Bingo round 2. CABB2024.

Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

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Steve couldn't stop reading the Accords document; if he signed, it would put Bucky in danger, but most of all, it would put you in danger.

“I'm not signing," Steve said as soon as you entered the room.

“Neither am I," you said.

“It's like we're screaming for World War III," Steve commented.

“It seems the world has forgotten all that we mutants have done to save them as well as used us in the wars."

“I remember meeting a few mutants." Steve put his hand to his forehead, feeling as if he was going to get a headache.

“Maybe this really will turn into World War III," you said.

“If so, I'll always be by your side," Steve assured, taking your hand.

“I'm scared, Steve. Let's go. I know a place where we'll be safe. We can take Bucky with us, Wanda, whoever is against the accords."

“Come on, you know I'll follow you to the end of the world."

You began to put their things away; you wouldn't tell anyone you didn't trust; the others could take it as they wished; though Ross had said it, if you didn't sign, you could consider yourselves withdrawn; but where you would go, that didn't matter; when the world needed you, then they would regret it.

alterhuman alphabet :3

amazing alphabet done by local-xenogender-icon with pathetic answers by me!

A - awakening

i realized i was an therian around 2020. ( i had a lot of free time to actually think about stuff ) .

as for my fictionkins? i never knew the term for it and just assumed it was a tism thing (which, i mean.. it kinda is for me) so i guess you can say since i was 6 or around the age!

B - balance

i dont have any friends. this is 100% a tism thing, but a part of me feels like its an alterhuman thing. i dont understand people that well, but i understand animals!!

as for my grades at school, and navigating school in general- its kinda weird knowing everyone around me is human. my grades are fine, infact im ahead of most people my age. i can communicate with my teachers and peers decently (only when necessary i panic otherwise-) and i get my work done usually on time and easily.

i do experience phantom shifts at school, but they never get in the way!! other than that, im like a spy, sent to spy on the humans !!

C - city

NOPE!!! though i dont really like where i live either... its really conservative.

i got harassed one time while going on a walk just because my hair is un-naturally colored.. :-(

D - diary

Actually, i did come into possession of a diary i could use, but im not to sure how to start one!

E - experience in the community

it kind of depends. the ytubers seem cool, and so do people on tumblr. just a bit intimidating i guess? tiktok is cool too, i love seeing peoples masks and stuff.. but its kinda toxic. mainly because it gives easier access to mainstream without proper education on the topic.

definitely one of the nicer community's ive been in though!!

F - friends

no............... i did try to tell my older sister in 2020 but she judges a lot, im scared to try again. she knows i do quads and judges them for me ALOT! but she loves me (i think-) and shes the only 'friend' i have so-.

G - gear

i own a coyote tail, and ive got masks !!! i also have pets, might seem weird to say their gear but they feel like my little family, even when im more coyote than cat. I also have raccoon stuffies!

I - identity

theriotypes - coyote, rusty spotted cat, siberan-mainecoone mix cat.

kintypes - dave strider, ponyboy curtis

other- raccoon copinglink, feline genus otherhearted

J - jokes

both. it depends on my mood, but im mostly joking around :)

K - knowldege

7/10 :0 im so invested on researching though... so this # will go up im sure. (i say 7 for alot of things though... )

L - liking, loving

i love them :3 its funny, because ive never liked dogs, but my 'main' theriotype is a canine.

N - nature

WILD!!! well, except for my siberian-mainecoone cat. its actually my old (and unfortunely dead) cat.

O - otherhearted

the entire feline genus. ive known this since i was little i think, just never knew the term.

P - popularity

i think my rusty spotted cat is the rarest. im pretty sure my coyote may be the most common?

R - real body

im trans and used to struggle with an ed, so absolutely. my kins effect this heavily as were all male yet we dont represent that on the outside. i sometimes experience species dysphoria, but i think i identify as human just as much as i do animal.

S - sex

no? i think this question might be more for others ahA-

i think my theriotypes are me, and therefore would have the same sex as me.

(though i am female sex, we can pretend i am not- )

T - traits

this is kinda hard to awnser. im not really territoral, but i like to have my own territory, you know? and its like that with basically everything-

i hate putting my own experiences in my own words asidjijfeo0fo

Urges

I lowkey get preydrive as a cat, because i hear birds so often- i think ive learnt to control it growing up, so i can handle it easily.

bonus of living in the country i guess?

W - wondering

wowowowowo (+ my pfp)

Y - yarn

both? though the tail i have currently is real fur.

Z - zoo

They make me sad. I would much rather go to a rescue than a zoo.

I see your work EVERYWHERE! I follow you on a lot of platforms and I've always loved your modeling style.

However, being as good as you are there's alot of people (especially recently) who crop out watermarks and post your pieces elsewhere. Mostly on TikTok and Pinterest.

I'm an Artist myself and not long ago I deleted my Deviantart because I found my art on google and being reposted by others.

Is there any way at all to tactical things like this besides just reporting and blocking? It's scary being and Artist and I'm not that big at all, but I still don't want it to happen.

Unfortunately, in order to avoid reposting to some extent, I had to create accounts literally everywhere to be the first person to publish them. And it's true, for about two months I have noticed a very large increase of accounts stealing my and others art.. It's hard and exausting to fight them all. Sometimes I write private messages to reposters asking them not to do it and they listen to me, but there are also people who deny it and even block me lmao

I don't have a perfect solution for this, the only thing is watermarks, blocks and reports.

What I've noticed is that wms are most likely to be removed when they are large and noticable. When they are blended into the background, they stay (idk, i guess they are too dumb to look for them). When I make renders with several characters, I hide them on each of them. For example, someone stole THIS render and removed my watermark from Ghost, but didn't pay attention to the one hidden on Soap xdd

but what started to scare me is AI. About a month ago, I reported an account on Pinterest that was removing my wms and changing resolutions. 2 days ago I saw 2 tiktoks on my fyp with this new filter where my renders were also edited, and yesterday someone did THIS… so it's getting worse. I am bombarded with new problems from every direction and sometimes I don't know what to do because I'm not an expert. I am just like all of you and I just want to make art as a hobby and for fun.

Unfortunately, Call of Duty is a big fandom and there are some shits who want to take advantage of it.

So what I do is: -hide watermarks -post art in lower resolutions (if it is 2k-4k, it will be easier to remove wms and more likely someone will want to sell them as posters etc) -and I'm also starting to think about using an app that prevents AI from reading my stuff

at the moment I'm only focusing on situations when someone removes my wms or tries to sell them. There are so many reposters that sometimes it just overwhelms me

standing on the borderline

Nowadays I scrub myself clean of anything representing a stereotypical mentally ill person. No more will people say I remind them of Harley Quinn or Ramona Flowers, no more will I meet their sexualised expectation of a mentally ill woman. 

I’m dying my hair back, thinking carefully about the tattoos I want, I don’t fall asleep at 3am with some depressing playlist, and I’m finally selling all my lifeless clothes at the Sunday market. I no longer identify with that. I’m not proud of it, I wasn’t happy, it wasn’t me. 

I’m not insulted that I dress “basic” now, I’m not insulted I no longer meet your expectations of me. I traded my chains and fishnets for basic tees, and I feel better now.

As I reach for that abrasive loofah, I do contemplate why I can’t accept who I was when I was deep in the trenches, begging everyone to believe that it was a stranger, begging myself to believe that was never me. I’m not my illness, that’s not who I am, but as someone who has walked in my own shoes, shouldn’t I be a little more understanding of the roads I’ve travelled?

Too often I’m sitting on the fence between accepting myself and being okay with it or tearing any resemblance of mental illness and keeping it as far away as possible. How can I be okay with this, do you know what people say about me? 

Sometimes I feel like I must carry the agonising burden of being a spokesperson for BPD, those three words come up in a conversation and I feel eyes pierce me like they know a big secret I’m hiding. The desperate need to say something to disprove of borderline symptoms is haunting, cursed with the fear that people think I want this and I’m so quirky. Screw you TikTok.

Even the few positive attributes this illness gifts me is something I wish I could get a shovel and weed out of my garden. Everything feels like a double-edged sword, everything is a double-edged sword. A sweet sensitivity that snowballs into debilitating anxiety, compassion, and loyalty like a dog, and will never be reciprocated in any relationship. It is not fun fighting everyone else’s wars yet never being able to stand next to your own army.

Shame is unfortunately ingrained in me, one Google search and there’s more results on BPD being toxic manipulators than there are helpful resources. I walk around with a scarlet letter, people stop and stare knowing I’m a horrible, toxic gaslighter. Constantly scared that those around me walk on my field of landmines, running a never-ending marathon questioning, ‘what if I am the stereotype?’ It’s getting quite lonely locked away with a moat of eggshells and glass shards. 

Perhaps this is a perspective that changes with the years, right now detachment feels like a home, maybe I’ll keep dancing with these ideas. I am not borderline; I am not a borderline. No one says I am a thyroid problem, or I am a cold. The less I dwell on stereotypes and playing the painful losing game of trying to change people’s beliefs, the easier it is to cope. Maybe at the core of wanting to appear so extremely unwell is just simply wanting someone to care, not to be immediately seen like a monster. 

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

What makes a child wish to die? - Character analysis, Dazai Osamu

It is common sense to know that the character Dazai Osamu, from the Bungou Stray Dogs series, has suicidal desires and the knowledge of this information has become normalized in the fandom. But; Have we asked ourselves where this desire came from?

(@//gengenchele on TikTok)

To answer this question, we must take a trip to the past and reach those moments where Dazai was just a 14-year-old ‘teenager’, if that is what you can call someone with the face of a child but with a deteriorated expression. The mind of an adult, old, tired and destroyed by life.

This Dazai who, in the words of many, was just a child, had already accumulated an countless number of suicide attempts, whose unfortunately or fortunately, weren't successful. Which makes me wonder; what kind of abuse must a child go through to be so that life is just… not worth it?

It is very likely that he was aware of what he was doing, furthermore, there was evidently no type of mother or father figure present, or worse, they were present, and to his misfortune, they abused him in completely inhumane ways. This will help us justify the reason for the feeling of ‘not being human’ of the Dazai of the present.

Hunger, abandonment, sexual, school, physical and psychological abuse; even torture can be among the options of things this man has had to go through. To give us an idea, Dazai clearly lived in a poor neighborhood, since I highly doubt that he would have gone so far from home only to commit suicide and then be found by Mori. His parents probably did not have a good job, if they had one, and his financial position was still not the best. The possible abuse by his parents is very evident.

Maybe alcoholics, drug addicts or mentally deranged. Financial problems can bring many difficulties in life, which generally end up being borne by the weakest, that is, the youngest in the house, so we can assume that Dazai probably did not have any younger siblings, which makes sense to me. And if he had, he clearly got the worst of it. Or at least that is what I hope. We do not want to assume anything about his past yet. The only thing we are sure of family abuse was there.

Anyway, I do not rule out the possibility that Dazai had several brothers, not only because these types of large families are common in the slums, but because the author Dazai is inspired by, also had several brothers. Asagiri may have based his family history on this as well. Although this is just a theory, which does not affect much on Dazai's childhood itself.

But in Dazai there was a clear peculiarity; he is presented to us as a fairly introverted character in his teenage years, but not the type of introvert that they are due to genetic reasons of personality or family customs, the type of child who is introverted because the world forces him to be, circumstances demanded it of him. The universe showed him that this was not the place to be himself and that he is not safe being that person. The best option was to hide. This can make us think that he was not only not safe at home, but also not at school, on the street or with some possible childhood friends, if he had the opportunity to live these situations or social experiences, of course. Once again, I am based on the life of the author Osamu Dazai, who despite pretending to be very extroverted, on the inside was very withdrawn and was constantly scared or insecure in environments where he had to interact with more people.

In the case of a school, it is clear that either he did not attend, which is probably not the case but I want to look at the possibility, or he went to a public one. These types of schools are where children who do not see a safe place at home, see it there, and that is where they develop their entire personality, which when it comes out in such a sudden and explosive way ends up turning them into an abusive child. Or even simpler, it is the only behavior they know and the one they know they can show. Clearly this was not the case with Dazai; he also did not see a safe place at school and also hid, which may lead to the assumption that he was also abused or suffered some type of mistreatment there. Teachers, classmates, older students or even representatives of the institution. Many potential predators for such a vulnerable target. The possibilities are almost endless.

(Here I open a small space, considering the theory that if Dazai never attended any educational institute, because, if he had had a normal childhood, and had gone to school, he would be 10 times more intelligent than he is today, since that in school not only things of general culture are taught, but also in the process of being evaluated and learning, mental capacity is increases considerably, without a doubt meeting a Dazai even more intelligent than he already is, would be something very interesting, and It makes me think about what his life would be like if he had come from a good family).

It was clear that Dazai lacked friends, safe places, or even something to call home. These conditions can make anyone's life sad and miserable. But not in something that is not worth it. Humans are incapable of thinking for themselves, all our ideas, convictions, desires and dreams are inspired by someone or something we encounter later.

If this mentality is applied to Dazai's life, we have no choice but to assume that in Dazai's family, or environment, there was not only violence, but also a low concern regarding what he might think, feel or see.

It is more than obvious to assume that Dazai did not feel any type of attachment to his parents, classmates or even any possible friends he had. It is also likely that no one has ever shown him affection, of any kind. This would explain Dazai's adult behavior, where he clearly does not understand how affection works sincerely, or how it is supposed to feel like, but he does not seek it either. This can even open up the theory that he experienced it for a certain period of time, but something made him change his mind; something made him decide that he did not want it.

Everything that can be read above is my first theory, which was mainly based on the behavior that can be observed in the few appearances that we have of Dazai when he was a teenager, and other data, but I would also like to look at the other side of the coin, another completely different theory, which is based much more on the life of the author on whom Dazai is inspired.

To begin with, he comes from a family with a very good economic position, he did not suffer any type of visible abuse in his childhood and he went to an excellent school, with a, superficially, good relationship with his classmates and good grades. This Dazai was always empty, he was never human, he felt this loneliness and lack of motivation thanks to himself and nothing else.

Although, personally, I tend to rely a lot on the lives of authors or books to do analysis, in this one it seems so possible, since there are many inconsistencies that do not explain so assertively the reason for some of their actions and ways of doing things. think, which does not mean that it may be a little more logical.

(@//gengenchele on TikTok)

It is more than evident that Dazai did not have a normal childhood, which is always key to people's development; Any type of problem at this stage can be compromising for who we are today. Understanding this character's childhood is one of the most important things about him, and that knowledge will help us understand who he is today and the reasons behind his actions.

Thank you  for your time and attention.

Made by @//gengenchele on TikTok (me lmao)

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Thanks to @trainsinanime for the tag!

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope!

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last time I cried a solid amount was when watching Space Sweepers (2021) the other week... the ending got to me. More generally if you count tearing up or shedding a tear or two I'm quite vulnerable to those feel-good tender videos of like, marriage proposals and shelter animals finding a home etc etc, and unfortunately I have been using tiktok and it's learned that I watch and like those videos, so I probably shed a tear yesterday or the day before over one of those little things.

3. Do you have kids?

No

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

On occasion, but I wouldn't call that a defining trait of mine.

5. What sports do you play/have played?

Ahaha no. For real though, I was a theater kid back in high school, so the closest thing I did to a sport may have been dancing.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

Probably hair?

7. What’s your eye color?

Blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

HAPPY ENDINGS. I hate scary movies so much, I'm so weak to whatever emotions a story creator is trying to elicit (thus why I cry at so many tender movies/videos) but that means if it's a scary movie I will be legitimately SCARED and TERRIFIED. Bad time.

9. Any special talents?

Not particularly special but I play a little piano and guitar.

10. Where were you born?

United States of America

11. What are your hobbies?

Uhh making music, drawing, writing... basically anything with a creation/storytelling component I think is fun :D.

12. Do you have pets?

Not at the moment

13. How tall are you?

5' 7" (~170cm)

14. Favorite subject in school?

Music classes

15. Dream job?

I actually am having a pretty good time at my job right now... tho I suppose being paid to do nothing would be even better XD.

No pressure tags (u are always welcome to ignore, or to do the game without also tagging 15 people): @falliblefabrial @cat-denied @queenanne1532 @chekhovsdisconnectedwormbell @cealesti @toasthaste @vriska @mad-scientist-deki @out-in-the-darkside @haboat @emilyelizabethfowl @aphrodaisyacs @faustianfantasy @madoka-take-me-away @triflesandparsnips

all jokes aside what has ronnie radke done? I've heard a bunch of shit from rape accusations to homicide accomplice to like???? there's an article that im mad i can't find that started with the lines 'Assault. Animal abuse. Drama online. Ronnie Radke is in the news again, for all the reasons' or something like that and it haunts me but genuinely, how much of this shit is actually true? Deeply confused and very out of the loop over here.

okay well. this is what i know. so don't quote me on it but i hope it clears some things up?

he got jailed for wearing brass knuckles to a fight in a state that they were illegal in, he did NOT get jailed for killing a man, his friend however got time for self defense, because the guy who died was threatening them with a gun so Ronnies friend shot him. iirc.

the rape and domestic abuse accusations were dropped by the court because of the lack of evidence, so there's really no saying in how accurate or inaccurate they are, since we know how easily sa accusations get brushed to the side...

he threw a metal mic stand to the crowd and injured a fan in the crowd, he did pay for all the hospital expenses with no issues (i think) so that was solved. still a shitty thing to do and most venues now (or the one that it happened at) banned metal mic stands. that's less of a "kill him now" thing but still kinda funny and odd that it happened in the first place ?? y'know ??

i have NO clue about the animal abuse. i just know he has a dog called Lobster and that's it

Mostly what he's done in the past years that i'm aware of:

he's chronically online and can't take criticism whatsoever

he thinks everyone criticizing his music is attacking him so he has a fullon meltdown on his twitter (that got banned for harassment i think. imagine getting banned in elon musk era twt??)

he has really transphobic views, he went off about the ''trans women in bathrooms'' ''debate'' and was just NOT listening to anyone. he can NOT be wrong in ANY scenario. he will just attack you. people were very calmly trying to explain to him why he should reconsider his comments and he just.. went off on them. it was so stupid.

he bullied non binary teenagers (mostly fans) on tiktok for using they/them pronouns. this was like 2 years ago. i think his tiktok got deleted?

constantly getting into random arguments with other musicians he doesn't like. it's just unnecessary

he has also made ableist remarks about a girl in a wheelchair to her face at a meet and greet (allegedly), racist, homophobic and other transphobic comments, that i have not witnessed myself but i've heard from people online and i do believe he has made those because he's just... a handful.

he's just a massive cunt really but, knowing that he has quite a big platform it just pisses me off. as sb said on reddit, it's his massive ego, inability to take criticism, bigoted comments, and victim complex...

so he's very much a red pilled transphobe who kind of scares me because why are you as a 40 year old bullying children on tiktok and commenting about where trans women can piss. please get a hobby

and i'm obviously missing things but this is what i am aware of and have witnessed live on twt and tiktok T_T unfortunately

I recently saw a video on TikTok where a person was talking about some two people who had been arguing in her comments since December

And I was like.

That would have been an absolutely awesome BartNat modern AU.

They would start quarreling over a particular political issue, such as the fact that ordinary workers are paid too little, and then they would get carried away with the whole political theme, oppression, class inequality, and all the things that they endlessly fight about in all three books.

They didn't even know each other in any way, except for their signatures and avatars and Nathaniel's pompous "You don't know where I work" at some moment in the dialog.

But still, at some point, they were able to get personal, mixed with this discussion of all topics in a row.

AND THEN.

IMAGINE

"You didn't even tell me your name, too scared for your personal information, what am I supposed to talk about with such a cowardly little shit?"

"You can call me even John, it doesn't make your words any less inaccurate! Where are you getting this information from? I bet you can't give me a single link!"

"Pfft, easy! Well, John, unfortunately, there is no page on Wikipedia called 'common sense'"

What I missed and what I have to say about everything:

Gojo Incident on TikTok

I’m very very disturbed. I wake up at five in the morning and I get this text from my friend that says, ‘hey look up the Gojo incident on TikTok’ so I fucking did. It scarred me for the rest of the day.

2. War in the Middle East

I’m so sorry for the people who have families and friends there. This is a really unfortunate situation for everyone down there and I hope that they will call for peace

3. 2025 plan for the USA

Basically is screwing everyone else who isn’t a biological straight white male, is what I’m getting from this

4. Ban for TikTok in the USA

I don’t think that there is gonna do it. It would be unconstitutional, considering how they can’t really band any sort of social media since it’s in the first amendment. Idk though, I’m not a lawyer but we’ll see

5. Coming out

I’m gender neutral and I’m bisexual now but I am still female biologically 

6. Matthew Perry’s death.

I am literally heartbroken over his death. Chandler was my favorite and the sad thing is that Perry lived the life that Chandler was scared to. The night that I convinced one of my play cousins to watch friends is also the same night that he died.

I got a low score on my exam 😞 and I dropped my grade down like it's not my fault I'm dyslexic this is why I like math more it's easier. Also, I got a new doctor for now cause my doctor is on holiday and I don't like them I felt very off. Also is it weird that I'm scared to shave like I've always been big on hygiene and grooming is sort of big for me I'm more on the hairy side but I do trim not too much but enough but I'm scared to go anywhere near my private parts cause I'm scared I will get botched. Also, I kinda miss my dog Pongo it's very close to his death anniversary I miss the little pup. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing something wrong but I don't know what. I feel like I'm gonna be single forever sometimes I love both aspects of a relationship romantic and sexual but it is very hard for me to feel relief from the sexual aspect like I'm never satisfied which sucks I've never had many partners cause I'm more of an in it for the long run type of guy so I only ever had 2 partners and one of them was non-sexual cause we never reached that part. Not only that but I get sad cause I want to have a family of my own someday but I can't cause I like guys and guys can't get pregnant I also want to live on a nice farm or modern cabin someday while having an apartment or house in the city. But I have been going to the gym mainly to build muscle cause I used to be a twig.

- ❤️‍🔥

Sugar I am so sorry your grade dropped but please don’t beat yourself up! Dealing with dyslexia isn’t easy. I’ve always known what dyslexia is but it wasn’t until I was peer grading another classmates paper that I realized that y’all have it fucking hard.

When it comes to doctors I know it isn’t easy to pick and choose your health care professionals but I’d be like ok does this doctor listen to my needs does this doctor help me as long as those boxes are ticked that’s all it matters bc I assume you’ll only meet them limited amount of times? Either way just make sure the doc is doing their job

In terms of shaving there are tutorials on tiktok on how to shave down there I unfortunately didn’t save the video bc this was months ago but I know there’s a YouTuber who does shaving tutorials !!

He went viral for shaving his ass on camera but he genuinely gives good shaving / hygiene advice !

Is it okay to ask when pongo passed away? You see my moms death anniversary is March 28 and I’m sure she’ll happily arrange a party for him 😌

But the loss of a pet isn’t always easy and I know it’s not like losing a relative so I’m giving you all the kisses and hugs and wishing you sm strength and love!!!

The feeling about doing something wrong but not knowing what it is, it’s a very common feeling!! It can be that we have a lot of expectations and goals bubbling under the surface and it feels like we could be doing so much more but I’m genuinely not being cheesy when I say that being alive is enough like I promise you with everything in me

In terms of relationships,a tip I do have is to wait with the sex, yes you’re in it for the long haul but meet as many people as possible without trying to make it sexual

One day you’ll meet someone you click with and whatever you do will become so much more elevated because you’ve spent time getting to know each others likes and dislikes etc

Also sugar it’s very much possible nowadays for gay men to have a family! You can have surrogate you can adopt! There are so many ways!

Also you sound just like my dad his dream is to retire and live on the country side!

Also hello let’s go!! I’ve started going to the gym as well I even have a personal trainer to keep me accountable 😭