#i am so ill over that emo guy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

floralhuqzz · 3 months

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What is love about? (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader)

*. ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

warnings: none

summary: y/n always drinks coffee in the mornings in a cafeteria near where she lives, when she spots a guy who caughts her attention

english is not my first language so i apologize if theres any misspelled words, etc🖤🦇

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

i woke up by the sound of my alarm. I grunted as i took my phone and adjusted my eyes to the brightness of my phone as i turn off my alarm. It was currently 8 am so that meant that i had to go to work in a few hours… i sat down and scrolled through my phone a bit. I got up from bed and put on my slippers as i yawn and stretch,, i open my closet and start looking for a good outfit,, i work at hot topic so you can imagine how my work clothes looked like. I finally picked an outfit and did my makeup and brushed my teeth before picking my bag and going outside.

your outfit:

Since i worked at a shopping center i always went to Starbucks for coffee. I ordered a cappuccino as i sat down sipping on my coffee as i pulled out my sketchbook and my pencil case. i checked the time and i still had 1 hour until my shift starts. i didn’t know what to draw so i started to look around trying to get an inspiration when i layed my eyes on a black haired beautiful guy.. he had an amazing style and makeup..i must say he is really god damn hot… (i <3 emo guys ).

he suddenly makes eye contact with me and i look away. i look back at him and he kept looking at me over and over again “maybe it’s because he likes my outfit” i thought to myself. he sat down two tables away from me as he scrolled through his phone as he took a sip of his coffee.. ill to draw him. i couldn’t keep my eyes away from him..

i started drawing him.. trying to draw as many details as i can,, after 30 min he finished his coffee and wanted to leave but i took my opportunity and approached him..

“hi..” i smiled a little, i was so fucking nervous

“oh hi” he smiles as he puts his phone in his pocket as he spoke

“umm i hope doesn’t sounds weird but.. i drew you” i said a little embarrassed as i gave him the drawing

“holy fuck! you did this in 30 minutes?!” he takes my drawing and smiles

“yeah i can draw pretty fast,, i like your style” i smiled still a little nervous

“i love this, thank you so much…i like your outfit and makeup and..pretty much everything” he smiles as he looks at me up and down.

“thank you” i blush as i smile

“i dont wanna sound like a stalker but.. ive noticed you are here pretty often”

i look a bit confused but i chuckle a bit

“yeah i work at hot topic”

“youre kidding?! i fucking love that store” he smiles

“i can tell” we both laugh

i check the time on my phone, i had 3 minutes until my shift starts

“fuck i have to go to work, im running late” i take my stuff

“hey can i get yo-“ i interrupt him

“its in the back of the paper” i smile as i start running to the store

he checks the back of the drawing and sees the instagram username,, he smiles and sets on walking home.

johnnie’s pov:

i start walking home as i kept thinking about that girl at the cafe,, i get home as i sat down in the sofa and start looking at the drawing again for the millionth time.

“whats that?” jake says

“nothing” i put the drawing in my pocket

“was that a drawing?” he smiles

“no..”

“come on johnnie we are best buddies…im like your ketchup to your fries, you are the dick to my balls-“

“jake thats fucking gross” i sigh “a girl g-“

“A GIRL?” he took both of my shoulders “okay dude...YOU TALKED TO A GIRL?” he smiled “THIS IS A MOMENT OF HISTORY”

i laugh “ok can you let me finish?”

“okok”

“so i went to Starbucks today and i spotted this girl..and then she gave me this” i take the drawing from my pocket and show it to jake

“DUDE SHE WANTS YOU.”

i blush

“what?- jake we just met”

“and?” he crossed his arms

“and i dont think…thats the case,,maybe she just wants to be my friend”

“you are so fucking blind” he turns the paper and sees the instagram username “SEARCH THE USERNAME NOW”

“okok calm the fuck down” i take my phone and open instagram “found it”

“GIVE ME THE PHONE” he takes my phone and starts looking at her posts “oh she is hot.”

“JAKE”

“dude you better get with her or i will”

“omfg you are a prick” i take the phone and start looking at her pictures as i..blush?

“DUDE YOU ARE BLUSHING, YOU ARE INTO HER”

“OH SHUT UP”

time skip when y/n finishes work and gets home

y/ns pov:

i check my phone and i see a notification of a new follower on instagram.

“johnnie guilbert..” i thought to myself

i check his instagram,, he was really pretty…its like everything about him was perfect. i blush as i kepts stalking his instagram and i receive a new message

“hiii im johnnie (the guy from the cafe) :)”

“omg hi!”

“how are you? how was work?”

“im good, work was pretty boring ngl,, hru! ”

“im good im good, brushing my teeth rn”

“its 5 pm…”

“so?”

“who brushes their teeth at 5pm? hahaha”

“i do 🤓” he sents me a picture

"you are a weirdo"

"you are a weirdo for not brushing your teeth"

"NO ONE BRUSHES THEIR TEETH AT 5 PM"

"ok geez fine ahhsha"

"ive gotta go ill text you later :)"

"aww ok, bye bye <;3"

"bye<;3"

i placed my phone next to me as i layed in my room as i thought about johnnie for a while.. i think i have a bit of a crush on him.

time skip to 8pm*

I went to the kitchen and started to make myself some dinner as i was going through my phone as i saw a story from johnnie

"LIVE NOW"

"This could be fun", i thought to myself as i joined his twitch stream

johnnies pov:

"hey how is everyone doing??" i started reading my chat

"why do i look so happy??" i read someone comment "well today i met this...girl..." i smiled as i saw chat going crazy "yeah yeah.. so i met this girl today and she was like...everything i ever dreamed about like... chat im begin dead serious..and she gave me a drawing!" i take the drawing that was laying on my table and showed to the camera "isnt it perfect? look at the details" i point out every single detail "it looks like a photo" i read "yeah it does!"

i kept reading the chat for a while

"is she beautiful?" i read "yes she fucking is" i smile

a notification of a donation popped on my screen.

"you are so cute stop it haha <3 -from the cafe girl"

when i saw that message i literally wanted the ground to swallow me whole.. i didnt know what to say so i froze.. i completely forgot that i posted a link to my stream in my instagram stories...i was so fucking stupid-

"just kill me already.." i put my hands on my face blushing from embarrasment

i see a notification from my phone and i see that it was from y/n.. i see that she sent me a picture of her laptop from where she was watching my stream "someone is blushingggg"

"oh shut upp"

"i will if you ask me on a date"

"tomorrow 4pm at my house, what do u say???"

"ill be there ;)"

i look at my computer to read the chat "HE IS BLUSHING SM" "SO CUTE" "WE NEED TO FIND THIS GIRL!"

"oh sush chat" i laugh

....to be continued

SHOULD I CONTINUE THIS??

#johnnie guilbert #johnnieguilbertxreader #reader #twitch #fanfic #johnnie #guilbert #jakewebber #youtube

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greengay · 3 months

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LIFE UPDATES

I went to emo night with some friends and my roommate. Roommate was excited and he even let me put eyeliner on him and choose his outfit and everything. A couple hours in, I get in a political debate/fight with some guy outside the bar that lasts over an hour. At one point I apparently (or so I’m told) called the guy a pedophile?? he was younger than me. Eventually, I went back to his place and we slept together

I listened to the new Green Day album and I have thoughts on it. I will eventually post these thoughts. I really, really, like Bobby Sox.

I bought my first pair of high heels for NYE but during the NYE party I was sitting in a high-top chair and one of my heels got caught on a bar of the chair and I toppled over and ate shit and half of my body was bruised for a week.

I have over 200 unread text messages

I live with 2 normie straight men now and I think I prefer it? I’ve always lived with women and/or other gay people, but I am fine living in a Mojo Dojo Casa House atm.

I am still Offline™, for the most part, and my brain is still healing more and more every day 💖🩸✨ I literally feel less mentally ill

I haven’t gotten any tattoos because I’m saving up for a car :( downside of mental stability is long-term planning

However my friend is buying me a tattoo gun and is going to let me do her coverups :)

I made a really fancy and tasty macaroni and cheese. It started as a roux and everything. It was decadent. It was the best thing I have ever made in my whole life. I left it uncovered, and the mouse who lives in my stove (he doesn’t even pay rent either -_-) helped himself to it and I had to throw it all away after having, like, 1/2 a cup of it. I was a little devastated..

Generally… just been thinking about Reigen Arataka a lot…………. 🙂

I am not addicted to social media anymore and I feel………… Stable 😳

#hi sorry for any messages I have… I am unable to respond bc I am not completely cured of The Ailments #just figured I would periodically let ppl know I’m alive #also blah blah if I haven’t replied to you… GET IN LINE!!!!!#💖#it’s not personal 😭#I just…….. honesty I can’t multi task and if I reply to people I have to completely stop what I’m doing to reply #and take time out of my day #and if they reply back right away then I HAVE TO REPLY #AND IT GOES BACK AND FORTH #that’s a lot of commitment #that I can’t handle rn

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souryogurt64 · 8 months

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Did you like the last emo history book? Assuming we’re talking about Where are your boys tonight I really enjoyed it, I liked that it was a pure oral history that left things a little up to interpretation.

So I know this is a really messy rant and an unreasonable, immature and ill-informed response, but I did not read the latest emo history book because I did not think I would like it. I only saw what was going around Tumblr and I feel like a lot of my reaction to the book was based around being annoyed with other people reacting to stuff in the book, which isn't exactly fair or a very appropriate way to criticize books.

Firstly, the only quotes from members of Fall Out Boy I saw going around were Pete and Patrick telling a blatant and easily verifiable lie. I understand why they lied about this because it involved Pete posting some "cries for help" online, and Pete is certainly embarrassed about that. But it is still a pretty big lie and it threw a specific writer at Spin under the bus. Maybe they dont like this guy for other reasons or he said he was ok with it, or maybe the spin guy really is an asshole, IDK. but i felt like it was unnecessary to basically smear the professional career of a random writer to cover up a twitter tantrum Pete had 10yrs ago.

They knew they were going to be able to get away with this because to 99.99% of Fall Out Boy fans this is a meaningless technicality, But this incident was the reason Pete's book happened, and for some freakish reason I care about Pete's book more than I care about Fall Out Boy. So it matters to me, lol. Anyway, I felt that if the most noteworthy and "new" thing Fall Out Boy said was so categorically and verifiably false, I felt I could not trust anything in the book, period.

This element also colored my opinion of the quotes about how Bert and Gerard basically were faking being gay for attention. That may be true, I don't know anything about their sex lives, but if you're going to print things that aren’t true people aren't going to trust you.

Secondly, this is incredibly rich coming from me because as everyone knows I love to wildly extrapolate baseless claims made by random journalists as long as I happen to like them. But I felt like given that I already had zero trust in what the BANDS were saying, it struck me as irresponsible to print a quote from a journalist who interviewed MCR three(?) times over a decade basically saying he thought that FOB and MCR had secret beef based off …… vibes, I guess. There are situations where I would trust peoples opinions on what band guys were thinking, but this did not feel credible to me.

This would've been nothing, but everyone grossly misinterpreted what the journalist was even saying, and ran with it to spin this narrative that MCR thought Fall Out Boy were dumb and made bad music and lacked artistic integrity. It created this huge annoying drama that didn't exist. Personally, I felt this was people being stupid, but given everything else I'm mentioning in this post and how unnecessary it seemed to include, I can't help but wonder if this was intentional.

Thirdly, I also am unsure if this is true and if there was stuff about Panic! at the Disco that people just were not posting. But the only thing I saw about Panic at the Disco was a quote from someone who is not actually involved with any of these bands saying he didn't like Panic. I feel like it is irresponsible to dismiss Panic's part of "emo's mainstream explosion" that way, especially when critics have never liked panic at the disco and IIRC there is already an emo history book that dismissed panics contributions.

I don't really fault the guy who said that because I'm sure he just gave his personal opinion when asked and he was a relevant person to interview. But that combined with the lack of panic content period and the established history of how music critics dismiss panic— it rubbed me the wrong way.

EDIT: there was apparently a part about spencer and ryan sending pete demos, which is also not true. So there were at least 2 flagrant lies in this book, though this is significantly less egregious than the first one.

Anyway, I also understand I am not the be all end all of band lore and a lot of these people were My Chemical Romance people and I’m not as familiar with MCR. But I did feel like, based off what limited parts I saw going around Tumblr, there were a lot of really random and irrelevant people giving their opinions about famous band guys. In conjunction with some of the stuff Ive already said, I felt like this was so they could get new quotes to establish literally whatever.

Also I read a punk history book that was formatted similarly and my opinions I think were the same-- I really liked it when I first read it and completely believed everything in it and thought that since it interviewed so many people it must be a very complete narrative with tons of perspectives. But then I read literally just one another book about that scene that dramatically shifted my perspective on what I'd read, and I started to realize that just because something is interview transcripts doesn't mean it's true or people aren't omitting huge parts of the story or that the writer isnt pushing their own bias.

Also, I'm fully aware I also write essays that are heavily opinion based, exaggerated, and push whatever narrative I happen to like, so this is all probably hypocritical of me to say. But I am self-aware, and I'm also not a journalist, I would never want to be one, and it's very important to me that I don't make any money off them because of that. They are fanworks that get posted on a bright pink website labeled as a "zine," not an actual real publication.

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dracullette · 7 months

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intro (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)

hay guys

I'm sorta new to actually using Tumblr but I guess I can start with introducing myself so hi I'm bee

my pronouns are she/they and I have two little pet rats called Siku and Kupa (pee and poo haha) also my old lady cat Moto, Im goth but awfully emo for what I am, I like genshin impact, evangelion, the cure and my gf and I draw

heres some thing I did, i also draw a lot of furries but for everyone's sanity ill skip over that for now

if you like cool art, stupid shit, gay people and rats this may be the blog for you I guess

#neon genesis evangelion #evangelion rei #rei ayanami #music #introduction #intro post #the cure #genshin impact #rats #pet rats #goth

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crushedsweets · 7 months

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back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts

the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”

geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”

a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him

tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.

also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.

- anon 🌙

anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday

the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....

AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful

im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.

IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.

also yeah to the nat thing wow.

wow. yeah. goddamn.

AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON

shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......

#long post #🌙 anon #asks

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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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HES SO CUTE!!! i lowkey relate to him, but ill love him anyways tho!!! i wanna ask so bad abt what happened wirh him but idk if ull tell usss

assuming we are talking about the ex-cd guitarist, then...yes, ofc. i've been impatiently anticipating this day, haha. it's Very Important lore!

it's also EXTREMELY LONG. soz if it hurt your eyes...and heart, rip.

tldr; i wanted this message to be typed with a lot more flair/finesse, but my fingers are freezing from the rain and i am in...A Foul Mood. however, answering my asks, while often labor intensive bc of the detail i allocate in them, is a labor of love because i love, Love, LOVE sharing my stuff w/ you! and what's more? i live, laff, luv all of you. <3

so, w/o further ado, pls enjoy ur Nina Lore down in the crotch.

now...if we can rem(ember) what i wrote at the very ( rock ) bottom of an origin story ask that i answered like a bajillion years ago, i tried to make an Crucial distinction abt the identity of ex-cd guitarist ( scott malkinson ), who during side a of rm!part three ( aka the part of the flashbacks that feature our favorite messy band boys pre-cd, being broke boys and doing drunk degen things together ), we learned was god's sweet angel, a bespeckled, glasses-wearing, awkward nerd boy king. as well as the only og non-musician of the c.d. boys who stan, ofc, taught how to play guitar, so he could b in their silly band.

which BLEW UP one day after they were scouted by...Tenorman Records...v interesting name, yeah? ;) and were hot boy franksteined into the og lineup of crimson dawn...where sweet scott became...

Evil Thot Foulkinson :/.

which i blame COMPLETELY on the boys having to be made over and made into whatever little overblown rockstar caricatures management and specifically their Manager wanted them in.

i would say kenny was the least doctored or altered by management because they already had that bde, punk rock star quality about them, tbh, the only thing the label really did was put the skeleton mask muzzle on ken and shove our fave secretly immortal bassist to alll the way to the back, bc while they def had the innate charisma and celebrity influence to carry cd, kenny was unpredictable and a liability, stan also had The Voice & was a lot easier to manipulate. </3

after them, jimmy was probably the second least altered by tenorman records because jimbabwe was mostly just meant to fill a disability quota with the cerebral palsy and everything, he's mainly in the back with his hard asf emo-boy drum kit, but he's more Prop than person.

okay, oddly enough, rae is actually NOT the most made over member in cd because he was already our emo boy halloween king and Super stoked to be a rock star. like the person taking care of ravenstan ( and kenny sometimes ) was seriously worried about even sending the boys off to LA to Pursue Their Passion bc, lbr, it was...pretty dangerous given ~stan's little situation~ ( aka literally faking his identity and bEING IN HIDING AFTER COMITTING ARSON AND ACCIDENTALLY MURDERING SHELLEY ) plus...it's just hard to make it big in some unforgiving city as musicians. Period.

but they...did it!

but at what cost? bc...

i will say however, that stan was definitely...coerced into doing The Raven Thing because it directly conflicts with his gentler, more soft-spoken personality, my man has literally no rhythm...like, at all...and stan actually does get pretty bad stage fright, so being the guy up front was pretty nerve wracking just bc he's not really built like that.

but you know!!! he was excited!!! being a rock star, being famous and the glitz, the glamor and grandeur of everything!!! it's all very shiny. but all that glitters is not gold my friends...and heavy ( metal ) is the head that wears the the light up kraken kitty gamer headset, lmao.

moving on to lovely...lovely scotty, who, sigh, definitely had the most Drastic and seemingly fantastic transformation. because wearing gpa glasses, thrift store sweaters, old navy jeans and reciting multi-syllable medical terminology doesn't exactly scream Sexy.

quite frankly, it practically whispers, which is great when you're in the Library...but that doesn't really rock and roll with the punk rock image cd was supposed to curate so...they made scott...

into Thot.

( bOOOOO!!!! )

appearance wise, they retired the grandpa glasses and gave scott contacts, they styled his hair and kept it short ( rip the middle part ), changed his WHOLE wardrobe ( but instead of them being like raven you can't keep wearing cringey, sriracha stained anime tee-shirts, the big baggy pants and being a nasty, disgusting, boy. you, have to be HOT, lmao, they told scott something similar but it was more along the lines of scott, you can't look like a librarian, you have to look like you shred electric guitar in the biggest punk rock band in the world ) so sweaters were sleeveless shirts, his lowly sensible slacks became designer, they put ice on his wrists and made him

...Cool.

which would be less important if he were in the back like ken and jimjam, but as the lead guitarist of cd, he had to be in the front next to Raven, which meant he had to be almost as cool as raven...

almost.

because ravenstan was the front man of crimson dawn...

and scott was just the guy to his right.

which is where everything went wrong.

because raven was a personality that, like the little pants, came on when they curtain came up, but immediately came off/were replaced with a pair of giant hole-y sweatpants once he was backstage and nursing himself back to health w/ several strong shots of whiskey.

now, scott too was asked to put on a show, play up his hotshot, rockstar persona for the cameras...but long after the show was over...that mask never came off. stan rushed off stage and ripped that fishnet shirt off his body like it was made of barbed wire, but conversely, scott dreaded going from hero to zero...so he just didn't.

fame & fortune devoured our dear boy and just like that...

scott became thot.

permanently.

but before i get into this next part, i just want to say that i am a scott apologist; i understand why he did the things he did and was the way he was. again, being a celebrity is to be changed. and damaged. the weight of the world is ten times as heavy as a hundred of his pre-med textbooks. which he tossed in the TRASH, btw!!!

Dr. Scott Dropped Out Of Medical School!!!! :'(

he stopped perusing his dream to become a nightmare...smh. but i digress, scott spent his life shoved into lockers, made fun of, kept small. people were calling him names and now they were calling his name. nay, thousands upon thousands Screaming his name!!! they loved him, they worshipped him. and to someone who had never once been popular before. the feeling was as amazing...

as it was addictive.

because, again, their sweet scott was absorbed by thot...

and Thot Malkinson was a Diva. a messy manwhoring menace. a punk rock primadonna. he ordered all the makeup people around, fought for the spotlight, acted a fool & started drama Everywhere. he was obsessed with his image, and i mean Obsessed. he actually...sigh.

Went Back Into The Closet And Pretended To Be STRAIGHT to avoid backlash. he dated tons of girls, lots of celebrities, mostly to spite jimmy which was...a mess. ( i will talk about them in another post this post is so fucking long ) but he was generally being a massive d-bag with an even massiver ( ? ) ego.

tldr; the boys were getting Fed Up.

because more than just blowing them off to do photoshoots and interviews without them/talk heeellla smack, he was acting like he was better than them. he made a lot of jokes about leaving the band which...weren't funny. and being at rae's right side was starting to rlly fuck w/ scott and made him feel inferior. bc he wanted to be the star.

he wanted to be the front man.

& he thought that stan was being super ungrateful for not taking his role as the face of the band seriously wHEN HE NEVER WANTED TO BE THE FACE OF THE BAND!!! HE WAS FORCED TO DO IT!!! AAAA!

but anyways, scott was super jealous of stan's success and started to seriously resent him. he was making these really snide comments under his breath, tripping stan on stage with the amp cords n shit, playing Super Loud over his voice. like??? HELLO??? he literally pierced his nose Days after stan pierced his??? the petty olympics!

and it's even worse if you consider that stan and scott were TIGHT once upon a time. like stan was the person who'd initially showed scott the most kindness ( even more so them jimmy i think, who was put off by scott’s uptightness ) bc rae’s a weird awkward king who, ok, does fit in bc he's pretty but then just Sticks Out back out bc he is literally the world's biggest boyfail bi disaster who openly rebels against tradition.

so he gets the Struggle! he really does...as a result, stan took scott under his wing & spent a lot of time with him because ravenstan taught scott how to play guitar and was probably the most patient of the boys. kenny's very abrasive, jimmy fucks around too much, but stan is just very sweet & nuturing, he won't get mad at you. my bb.

stan AND scott were actually my awkward, soft boy babies before the fuckboyification of scott into thot, they also had a really special bond because scott was the only one of the other og three crimson boys...

who could speak spanish. <3

that was very nostalgic and comforting to stan because after the fire...speaking spanish kind of died with shelley, so stan had no one he could regularly correspond with in spanish...

( ok, obviously, when stan was working with his waitering jobs pre!cd he had some homies/coworkers he could speak spanish to, but, tbh, it wasn't super frequent and was more for utility helpful bilingual boy communication purposes -- in rm!flashbacks!p3 there is a very important waiter adjacent job stan worked that i was gonna talk abt in a diff chapter, but, what the hell? i love spoiler heaven. u can ask. )

...but he had scott...with whom he regularly Shot The Shit.

like, oh my gooooood, when i tell you stan and scott were being chismosos 25/8, smh, jimmy and kenny were ready to fight. this was cute, ofc, but the cutest part was that...scott had a crush on a boy.

who he needed to talk to someone about.

but kenny and scott were never really close. being immortal and basically an eldritch god means that he's definitely been around the block, met some very colorful characters and as a result, is a very good judge of it.

and scott, of course, is a good person.

stan actually calls scotty "the best of them" in rm8 and was well loved and treasured by all of the crimson boys -- but kenny had always gotten a...weird feeling about scott in the back of his mind. like something about him was off...like he might betray them.

but because of that personal dissonance scott wasn't super comfortable confideing in kenny, he couldn't very well talk to jimmy about his crush...ON JIMMY, so that left stan who was paitent and kind, whose ear, while intimidatingly pierced and decked out with pentagrams and things, was a very kind ear, indeed.

stan was very receptive and receptive of that sensitive information ( as a sensitive boy ) and regularly corresponded with scott about it in ~stannish- bc they couldn’t very well let the other guys hear it, right? so they’d chat away, giggling behind their hands, scott whispering scandalous goss in stan’s ear ft. the ravenstan signature santa puta madre de guadalupe & the corresponding no me digaaa sancho!

i also think stan called scott sancho por las risas.

the boys also used to call stan Stanteria because they put sublime on the bro haus playlist for when they’re kicking back on friday nights after scotts done with class/working in the OR and whenever it comes on, it’s freaking modelo time, aka time to crack a cold one with the boys, who clinking beers with their fingers covered in cheesy poof dust and fkn lime and chamoy cross faded af shouting i dON’T PRACTICE ~STANTERIA~; I AINT GOT NO CRYSTAL BAAALL!! WELL I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS BUT I’D!! I'D SPEND IT ALLL!”

pls note that they literally cannot play that song anymore bc it reminds them too much of scott :’( i am so sad...hope i die!!!

anyways, an important part of these discussions, or rather, discrushions is that stan…was never told the identity of the boy scott had a crush on. i’m laffing but they def did that thing you do in elem/middle school when you have a crush on someone and you give them a silly code name so no one knows who you’re talking abt ( i am not sure what the code name for jimmy was but i’m sure it has v shit takin school boy chismoso energies smh, but never said his name.

THIIIIIIIS IT VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!

because this info directly ties into a massive plot drop aka...

scott malkinson's 21st birthday. 12/11. better known as cd's last concert featuring scott as their guitarist.

Ever.

-uncle nina, WHO LITERALLY WROTE UP THE SCENE BUT IT GOT DELETED IDK HOW I WANTED TO SCREAM BUT JUST ASK ME ABOUT IT AND I'LL WRITE IT LATER I'M SO MAD!!! IT'S JUICY!!!!

#anyways hell is a place #sorry i havent been posting i was working on this ask #which is written hideously i hate it #i will fix it maybe i'm so sorry i'm so tired this is UGLY #LIKE JEALOUSY BABY!!!!#oh my god a mess #i am a scott apologist but he was ACTING UP #he was not being a team player he was being a HATER #a beneDICK arnold dude!!!#not scott going back in the closet i hate my life #ALSO SCOTT AND STAN WERE SO CUTE #we are a stanteria and sancho nation baby #i cannot believe this happened to me #my boys all fighting #BUT ALSO!!! ME LOSING THAT SCENE FOR MY POST #i'm so fucking mad i am depressed but that post was too long anyways ig #so idk just process this and then i'll give u that #again this is ugly and bad sorry #i'm legit mad this ask is so hideous bc it took me so long just to be the worst worded thing ever UUUUUGH #buti hope the info thrills you #i tried to be fun #WHO THE FUCK JUST UNFOLLOWED ME FOR POSTING THIS LIKE YOU ARE SUCH A HATER SKATER #me: posting weird au content #also me: how dare the nice people who followed me out of courtesy unfollow me for my weird niche content that has #nothing to do with their interests at all or reg style

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hyperrealisticblood · 28 days

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gobb for the fandom thing

favorite character: normie pick but. banban my guy <3

least favorite character: chamataki and tamataki are like..... the most Theyre Just There guys in the series so far. i think the bros made them up for the boss fight and then didnt have any ideas for them past that

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): well weve already established im Banwally 4 Lyfe xx but i also like stingban in a divorced kinda way. bittertoads also funny in a divorced way. i dont have any strong feelings towards other ships uh

character i find most attractive: uh. banban again. dont look at me

character i would marry: see above

character i would be best friends with: nabnaleena but only because of that one artists who draws her as a weed smoking emo. we will steal pins from the hot topic pin bucket together but ill give all of mine to her because i have an irrational fear of pins coming undone and stabbing me in a vein so i dont like them

a random thought: i dont know how more people didnt catch banbaleenas voice in gobb 6 having ai crust all over it its so obvious </3 the random ai usage in gobb (mainly the store icons, its obvious when you compare them to the in game models) is one of the only things that genuinely pisses me off about the series :(

an unpopular opinion: i feel like half of all banban hate just comes from people who watch big fnaftubers talk shit about them but never actually play them or watch gameplay of them themselves. in my opinion poppy playtime is way more deserving of being the anti-mascot horror circlejerk punching bag of the internet because it doesnt even have the excuse of being made by two college students like banban does. theres a whole ass company behind it and yet it can only manage to produce mid. banban is at least the funny kind of bad meanwhile watching people play poppy playtime just makes me want to throw myself into the grand canyon dayshift at freddys style. uhyeah when i fucking get you

my canon OTP: uhhhh ??

non-canon OTP: you already know

most badass character: why am i tempted to say sir dadadoo. him i guess

pairing i am not a fan of: banban/banbaleena is yet another victim of the "thats a lesbian and a gay man" phenomenon

character i feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): i feel like its impossible for the bros to screw up one of the characters because gobb is so incomprehensible that anything they do would kind of make sense

favorite friendship: bittergiggle and kittysaurus...... a butch and her twink........ they mean the world to me

im gonna go play fortnite for like five hours now bye wish me luck

#gobb

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corellonsblessing · 6 months

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A BLACK OUT/SLAM POEM based on the teletubbies (tv) tag on ao3

TRIGGER WARNING_MILK.

stray dogs literature clubs, the school for good and evil. ink sans angel—stranger things

horror sans guy—don’t hug me i’m scared. don’t hug me i’m scared, (don’t hug me i’m scared.)

free form plot twists. tragedy/comedy. alternate universe—high school. alternate universe—music.

the chaos unfolds each day, pristine, centuries ago, fight the many.

post divorce, living together, implied drug use, alcoholism. snippets from the end of the show, renunion, although it takes place a couple years before. we were the stars (but space was a void) by ponfarrpussyqueen.

corporate clash, bug, duck, the guardian pest, the prince, macarena, kissing, crack, as a joke, boys kissing, regret everything

underage julius caesar, emo napoleon, mating bond, tentacle dick, magic healing cock, holy water, holy roman empire, kissing in the rain, the battle of waterloo, a true story.

crossover, insanehappymealgiver, original character, original, simulator, mentioned, i’m at my limit, intentionally bad, wearing the other character’s skin, start praying because this sure ain’t holy, my dad went to get the milk because of this, sent to the void, put me in a coffin, rancid hope’s peak

we greet you with good luck and prosperity.

we love gay anal and lesbian smut and we hope you do too.

diminishing flame, not for kids, you’ll cry so hard you won’t have eyes, not sorry, commit a clarity, vaporized, freeform, sewer rat

2020 presidential election, spit as lube.

chaos bear, crack, crack, crack, has religious trauma, gay, gay, lesbian, lesbian sex, orgy, moist naked bodies rainbow is jesus, sex during tornado, this is NOT. finished.

there she was, in a new world. guess she’ll play the cards she’s dealt.

jesus confessed, sin shock, tears streaming down her face. “i fucked your sister.” crack. treated seriously, why did i write this. gay best friend—i can see that (i’m safe here.)

why did i write this!

crack. treated seriously.

slowly losing our sanity, we die.

crack, treated seriously. the moon of hope and the sun of despair LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOO.

crack, treated seriously, blue balls, orphan account

his little purse. what was once an inside joke is now taken seriously. crack. crack. fluff and crack. angst and crack. i am a man of my word, and i speak for the people.

a million other projects to complete

crack, crack, i dont know what’s going on, we’re idiots so we made this

it starts out all nice then it all goes downhill

satan, crack, this is a joke, please help me, please don’t hate me, i’m so sorry, i cannot think of anything else, please don’t read this. but. do, the author regrets nothing, the author regrets everything, why do i still exist? (discontinued, at least until further notice.) by even moderner prometheus

forbidden love, dead dove:do not eat.

so small in the midst of it all. rolling with the weird and unusual, traumatized teens to comfort, and an important decision to make

i came up with this, i will go down with this

i can’t believe i write this, why did i write this, i wrote this while listening to mother mother, sleep deprived, wrote this instead of sleeping, the guardian witnessed sex and is now scarred, touching, addiction, slut shaming

insufferable with apologies to all my followers, hell (literal), sewage

i got problems, so fucking random, pulled out of my ass, hard to explain, hard to word, each chapter will be posted, find me on wattpad,

near death experiences, major illness, declarations of love, love confessions, eating, marking, delay/denial, knotting, marking, mating bites, overstimulation, based on taylor swift songs, missing spleen

help me pleease, im scared, why did i write this?, just this really chill person who wants to take over the world, humanized teletubbies, my friend and i wrote this over the summer

you better not forgive me for this, im serious, vaginal fingering, a hushed voice, the contact making her shiver.

may your heart stay strong. torture, vomiting, blood and gore, self-indulgent, touch starved guardian, all characters are adults, electricity, suicidal thoughts, medical inaccuracies,

and yet… you lie again. i like noo-noo i hope he explodes, don’t show up

crack. i am so sorry. not in detail but it could’ve been so count your blessings

gods this can’t end well, good parent, to two children, bad parent, to the other one

IM SO SRRY BUT THIS WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD, HAHA SUFFER,

attempt at humor, death, gore, i don’t even know, i’m so sorry, you have been warned, i posted this for my brother’s birthday

plague, companionship, through the fields we ran

it quickly turns into anti-demon propaganda

a play in one act, post-war, no sex, no killing

the prize of reading this is to meet god

help my poor soul this is a disgrace but it was my first fic so i refuse to orphan it, and the teletubbies followed

help, i was forced to write this and i’m sorry, i don’t even know what to call this monster, the southern pansy, aziphrale, the prince of hell, and the archangel gabriel

angst, satire, this is not serious, it’s meant to be funny

DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN BY THREE HIGH THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS.

this is what you’ve been waiting for and hoping would never come

hearing voices, broken bones, emotional manipulation,

live, work, play, a simple life, protected, until a stranger comes.

i can’t give you a summary of the plot. that would ruin the story.

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part one)

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part seventeen.)

let me know if i forgot to tag anything!!

blame the painkillers. i blame the painkillers.

#so when i was a kid i once made fun of this person i met irl bc he would post like. all the gay tags n i thoufht it wasnt cool #like gay twink n like all of those things #just an endless paragraph of labels #i couldnt imagine posting that or wanting to be seen like that #i couldnt imagine wanting to be seen at all #i didnt say it to his face i just called it cringe to a friend and they rightfully called me out on it #why is that so funny to you? that he wants to be known? that he wants to reach out to his community?#i woke up one morning and saw that he had imed me in the middle of the night #i imed him back n didnt get a response n thought nothing of it #i wish i had been up that night #i wouldnt have been able to do anything #but every time we post something every time we tag something #we are looking fir connection #this is not the void #you are not screaming i to the void #people we see you #and i hope they hear you #bc what you have to say can be beautiful. even when its a joke #this is a joke. but it is also real to me #every one of these tags and titles is real #and a real person wrote them #they sat down and did that #n they wanted u to see them #everyone wants to be seen #and smiled at. n liked #and i hope someone likes you. i hope someone likes you enough to be awake at 3am #n i hope you like yourself enough to keep posting and tagging and trying so hard to be noticed #bc there is beauty in everything #even and especially you #where are those high thirteen year olds now

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malevolententity · 9 months

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PROJECT 8 GIVE IT UP FOR PROJECT 8

i made a little man! look at this little guy!!! hes a lil derpy but i like him :) cant wait to put him in a bag and forget about him LMAO he took about an hour or so to work up! currently 35 minutes into s2e9 and there was probably a 10 minute period of pausing making sure i was counting right (i was not but hes already sewn up so its fine hes just Special) so lil over an hour on this guy! i may make him again and try to Count Better we shall see.

SEASON THOUGHTS

hey why did they go to the past but its not because its allegedly 2020 still but thats a fucking medieval town theyre in. is this magic ren faire. m starting to think that the cave mist fuckin sent them to a ren faire because ren faires TRULY are 'you literally would not be here unless invited and you WANTED to be here' so like. teleporting ren faire in my mind until proven otherwise. ALSO HOLY SHIT FELPS IS HERE???? i was not expecting him until like season? 4? i believe season 4 is the one where everyones actually at a table together but hes here now as? maybe a guest? going to be interesting to see how long The Helper sticks with the party and what they get up to. big fan of all the descriptions of all the people in Holy Cradle like this is just a TOWN of emo elves but theyre Dweebs basically and i am in love with all of them (all 2 of them as i am only like a sentence in to meeting the blacksmith who is guy #3). very very tempted to break my crochet rule and just watch another hour of this episode without doing Anything because idk what to make next and m sad that ive only gotten to watch an hour :( and i wanna see more rpg felps :( but ill be strong. i will stick to my rule but i am Very tempted and you must all be aware of this.

this is going to be Such a time in this town i can feel it in my bones especially if theyre here for multiple sessions

#a ordem crochet #fiber art

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samcollinsbf · 2 years

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new project meridian brainrot

i know i haven't posted about project meridian like At All on here yet but it's one of my favorite series idek why i just think robots are cool also the way it ties into the rest of the lore is like wow omg u know

anyway just finished the latest video here are my live reactions spoilers under the cut obviously

1:30 - FINALLY irl marcus call out post by james

4:28 - BACK UPS?/ HELLO? i'll be honest i fought so hard way back in the beginning of pm to feel bad for marcus but there being back ups makes it literally impossible to do so why is he a freak

5:00 - "You didn't have any right to over ride their desires" guys i am going to hit him.

9:12 - why not bro cmon dont be a loser

10:20 - the way i knew exactly what he was going to ask and got so stupidly excited when he asked it god why am i so obsessed with this series

10:35 - WOOOOO we are CURED ur so right asset the question DOESNT make any sense ur SO so right i literally cheered for them

11:35 - imagine me standing arms crossed impatiently tapping my foot in the background like speak up science man

13:16 - ill be honest i forgot james was still in the room i jumped a little

13:40 - ok i felt a little bad for him for like 0.001 second but ill attribute that to eriks acting because hashtag fuck marcus

16:00 - omg omg omg

16:15 - "WE TAKE COVERT VERY SERIOUSLY WHERE I COME FROM" HELLO ......... What Ever Could That Mean I Truely Wonder

16:40 - "memory modification is perfectly safe through OUR methods" like he's literally a telepath or something like its confirmed at this point right

17:30 - I CHEERED A MILLION TIMES I TELL U oh my god i fucking LOVE the lore and picking up the crumbs to it

17:55 - okay he's LITERALLY a telepath like this isnt even speculation

19:05 - i screamed like a teenage girl in a romcom after calling her crush except it was not a stoic emo loner who's New in Town it was magical robot asmr lore

Anyway. shout out to eriks acting fr i really do hope this man is getting paid well for what he's doing. there is so so SO much i want to say about marcus and marcus/love's dynamic and all my feelings and opinions on this whole series so i'll try to make something more cohesive and less word vomit later

until then though this is still a marcus anti account

also ive seen people start calling them the asset rather than love and i'll probably be doing that as well because even though i feel like its still a little objectifying, calling them what marcus did feels a bit odd

#redacted asmr #redacted marcus #redacted love #redacted asset #?#project meridian #marcus is a FREAK i tell u

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moonglittering · 1 year

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💝How long until they feel secure and comfortable in a relationship?

✨ @the27percent. meme. still accepting!

virote has had ships over the years, but there's not many where he feels... truly comfortable. he's been married and uncomfortable in those marriages too. but i kind of chalk that up to mental illness, he does have borderline personality disorder. he never really feels comfortable in a relationship unless he knows for sure his boyfriend actually understands him or at least tries to. and not to make him sound like a 2006 emo, but he does often feel misunderstood. adored as an image but not cherished as an individual.

so when it comes to romantic relationships, that discomfort never goes away unless he's waaaaay compatible with the other guy; it's a special compatibility that rarely occurs.

this quote from glennon doyle says a lot about that!

‘ as craig starts kissing me, i feel nervous and reverential because now—since there is paperwork, sobriety, a ring involved—sex will be different. it will be holy and meaningful. i am about to understand what all the fuss is about. [ … ] to arrive inside the moment in which you are supposed to feel more connected than at any other moment of your life and still feel lonely is utterly terrifying. it is the most lonely you can possibly feel. when it’s over, we lie in bed together. i am lonely, afraid, and ashamed. ’

i would like a romantic ship where vi's like. completely unguarded.

like not to sound pretentious but... his drip is a little too immaculate to be digested easily.

also he's had to deal with domestic abuse. he dealt with it for a very long time, so yeah. of course he's a little uncomfortable. love isn't a healer, it's not making the trauma go away. nor does he want it to! that's just being weak and needy.

so honestly it just depends!

#🌙 ABOUT! LET'S MEET ON A MOONLIT PATH.#the27percent #/ hes not WEIRD he is crazy and neglects his meds sometimes get it right.

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curetapwater · 2 years

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Shadow for the bingo meme?

Skdhshshs love himmm

For a lot of reasons. Like on a surface level he's just really cool!! His design is awesome, both badass yet adorable at the same time! Imo he neither feels out of place in super serious nor lighthearted settings.

On a deeper level, I adore the themes of his arc regarding healing from trauma, breaking free from cycles of toxicity, and actively choosing to make the world a better place despite it all. I have a particular thing for characters who were specifically created for certain purposes, only for them to explore personhood outside of just being a tool. It's why a lot of my favorite stories feature some form of destiny as a heavy theme. Shadow has that going for him multiple times over!! With various people and factions effectively pulling him in all directions and him ultimately deciding to follow his own path.

I also think his power set is so cool! He can wield weapons, he's basically a wizard with all those Chaos powers, he's got a set of space-age rollerblades!!!!!! I am staunchly of the belief that he doesn't NEED the air shoes to go as fast as Sonic, he just wears them because they're cool. He looked at a motorcycle and said "I can figure this out" and he was right. One time he like. Rode on an eagle or something and it didn't feel out-of-character. I'm pretty sure he flipped a truck with his non-dominant hand once.

And yet he's so vulnerable!! He's just a kid and all this is happening to him!!!!!! I mean, that's true of 90% of Sonic characters lol but I mean Shadow tries So Hard to make you forget he's ultimately a child who's working on himself. A super cool, super-powered child but a child nonetheless. I've heard people say his current English VA sounds like a "tryhard" but imo that's part of his appeal. Honestly I adore Shadow's specific flavor of "I'm trying so hard to be cold but my giant gooey heart keeps seeping through."

I remember when I was really little and I'd watch my older relatives play Sonic Adventure 2, and at first when I saw Shadow I legitimately couldn't categorize him into "good guy" or "bad guy." (I also couldn't follow the story because I was a toddler lol) His design and boss battles with Sonic told me "bad guy" but his flashbacks with Maria and the way he patted the Chao's heads muddled the waters for me. So I also appreciate him being a gateway into more complex ways of viewing characters.

With all of this that we've been given, he's a very interesting character to see pieces of oneself in. For one example that's close to me, it's basically canon that he's mentally ill (in SA2 he displays PTSD symptoms and in his title game there are pathways where he expresses symptoms of depression) and also has a lot of external trauma happen to his brain (multiple cases of brainwashing/memory altering/mind control plus blunt force trauma so bad it gave him amnesia) that makes it hard for him to distinguish what's real. So as a neurodivergent person it delights me to see this character honestly, legitimately struggle with not only everything placed upon his shoulders but his own brain chemistry on top of it. He doesn't always make the best choices (to say the least) but in the end he makes a conscious effort to do right by the world and I think that's incredibly inspiring. His character song Never Turn Back lays out this facet of his character perfectly.

I put a halfway cross on "didn't get enough screentime" because in the 2000s he got a lot of attention but in the 2010s not so much. It seems that might be changing soon and I sure hope it does!!!

I put another one on "got done dirty by the fans" because I feel it's less so fans and more other people that make Shadow out to be a far less compelling character than he really is. I also don't appreciate how he's used as an avenue to bash goth and emo teens who are just trying to enjoy themselves. "Lol who are you, Shadow the EDGEhog" like is that an insult to be compared to such an awesome character???

I put a cross over "I'd be scared of them irl" but that only applies to those times he went oopsie daisy and tried to destroy humanity. Otherwise I'd actually feel very safe in his presence. I'd give him a cookie and trade anime recommendations with him.

#shadow the hedgehog #sth

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crazybiaatch · 26 days

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I'm going to sound like super emo rn but

why does no one in this home understand me???

again, not in like an emo "im just so edgy no on gets me" kinda way. they just act like im not speaking.

VENT

just had a convo with my mum, i asked if it would be cool if i made my own dinner tonight, and she flipped out and said that she cant keep making 100 differnt meals, i explained "nah, I'll do the cooking, its all g" and i went on to say i would rather i cook for myself bc i know what i like, and bc my (only by a year) older sister is allowed to do that. my mother said she pays, i said that i would be more than happy to pay for shopping, or do my own grocery shopping, my mum said i need to get a job first

i have a job

i literally work for her

i earn 50$ a fortnight, not a lot rn, but im looking for more work and it'll do for now, i can durvive off of 50$ a fortnight of food

she talks more abt cooking

she then says "well maybe if you paid you would be able to"

i point out i literally just offered to pay and do my own shopping

she says im not an adult yet

i point out that when she was my age, my sister had moved out and had a kid and was being treated like an adult, so what really counts as an adult?

she says my sister was paying rent

my sister hasnt had a job since she had the baby

the rent is coming from the government

this same thing happens when i talk abt school. I'll say "hey Italian is really hard, nearly failed out today, really need u guys to help me with the school staff since they intimidate me too much to talk to alone" and all they seem to hear is "if u dont let me drop out I'll stop doing my work"

why would i want to drop out

i graduate in september

i only have like 40ish school days left

why would i drop out now

I'm not trying to fail, im genuinely struggling with multiple classes and the school is threatening to kick me out because of it, and I Do Not Want That

or my struggles with finding a job

ill say "ive applied to every single retail job in the area, i have applied online, i have handed in my resume to every retailer in this town and the next one over, i am so desperate that i am moving on to fast food even though i have crippiling social anixety" and all they hear is that i applied online so clearly i wasnt trying hard enough. They didnt actually get how hard it is for me to get a job until McDonalds literally ghosted me, and they were there watching me frantically call and email them

i just

i cant deal with this anymore

I'm like actually on the edge of a breakdown and all im getting from the people around me is what feels like purposeful misinterpretation at this point

and on top of all of this my dog is fucking dying :(

#vent post #vent #i sound so emo

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boxwinebaddie · 7 months

Note

Uncle Nina! Can I plz have some physical attributes for the RM boys? I really want to draw them ^^ Do they look like the Peppermint Stan and Kyle but older?

aaaaa i love when you guys draw stuff! and for the most part i am going to say yes? like facially you could totally just age them up like 3-4 years ( accounting for pep stan being a quarter japanese and rm stan being half mexican ) but also they do have some variations from pep stan and kyle ( mostly so my brain doesn't get confused haha )

i'll drop some hc stuff for you under the cut! happy drawing <3333

ok so for me jersey!kyles hair is just like...really luxurious and kind of long? like i think it goes a tiny bit past his shoulders ( tysm bebe ) and its really soft and shiny and bouncy and so beautiful like wow...kiss me

also my favorite jersey kyle hairstyle is him doing his crimina lou-ar hw on his laptop w his coffee and putting his hair up in the claw clip w the two front strands out....modern art...also i feel like like its less of like a coppery orange color and is just vibrant as fuck and is like orange red

pep kyles eyes always seemed to live in a more like sage green lighter green area and rm!kyles eyes sort of live in a more darker green, viridian area for me? is it bc he is evil and has seen some shit? maybe...also yes they are stunnnnning

he wears glasses! they are circular...or they were...rip kyles glasses...hes getting new ones dont u worry we will see em soon ;)

rm kyle has a bajillion freckles to me like u cannot count that shit like not even if u tried really hard like damn it might be more than 37 there’s just So Many

i feel like rm kyle is still...tall like hes probably not taller than craig who in rm is like....6'4" oh my god? but hes probably like 6'1

( one day i will feed the tall stan short kyle truthers…but not today rm kyle is built like taylor swift tbh )

other than that that the rest of it is just outfit stuff which ill link over here

uhhhhhh

tbh ravenstans hair did look like pep stans hair when he had his rebellious punk rock boy britney moment and bleached his hair without telling anyone ON TOUR SKHLDS...

...but now his hair just gets professionally done so i think like rather than like yellow as fuck and patchy and a warmer color....i really think its almost like platinum? icy? which is kind of very sick of him omg...also most recent other color was red...part of me wants him to have him go blue so we can twin

speaking of blue i feel like his eyes are probably like a slightly lighter shade of blue than pep!stans are they are also a little silver so they are sparkly and very wow

that man be piling on the eyeliner aka *jersey vc* guyline-na like nobodys business also falls alseep in it all the time so if he doesnt have the sexc emo boy eyeliner on its....under his eyes and all over his face smh

in my head whenever i write him he has a cute little beauty mark under his right eye....i was worried that might make him too distinguishable but like...who the fuck is gonna be like ah u must be this dead 11 year old....kyle is...smh...but thats ok bc its just gonna freak him out and i get to keep gaslighting him into thinking hes crazy ( my favorite past time <3 )

his bone structure also goes crazy stupid like i feel like his jawline could cut glass

i forgot to say bc they do be doing his hair at shows or press releases it do be very eboy wispy effortless easy breezy beautiful cover girl but it being too perfect freaks him out so that lasts three seconds ( he really does fuck it up on purpose...it looks better that way ) also he do be getting sweaty at shows ( kyle get ur mind out of the gutter ) and when hes being a greasy nasty goblin boy going to cvs...horrifying...

every part of his ear is pierced, his septum is pierced anddddd for symetry balance purposes i guess his left eyebrow is pierced and the right side of his mouth is the lip ring side, and all the little emo boy jewlery, most notably if u want to drop the mysterious heart shaped glass vial chain necklace w the sus red liquid in it...that is ravenstans version of the pep emo boy charm bracelet nose ring...His Comfort Accessory

( speaking of…i can neither confirm nor deny that kenny convinced raven and jimmy and the mystery crimson dawn guitarist to get buy one get one free belly button piercings w them….listen dhsjsk )

uhhh the semicolon tattoo behind his ear i think his right arm is the tattoo sleeve arm and actually i think most of his tattoos are...botanical? like lots of flowers, vines, ferns and nature imagery ( probably one of the moon stan loves the moon ) but a lot of them are paired with edgy things like skulls and stuff he is Emo Brother Nature haha. the (gasp) chef tattoo

...probably like a cute pablo neruda quote on there like 'love is so short forgetting is so long' or like 'if nothing saves us from death, love should save us from life' probably in spanish...fun fact raven stan does carry a personal copy of love poems by pablo neruda on him bc he is a sappy poetry king ( kyle do u want a bed time story )

and then just the regular outfit stuff?

WAIT UHHHHH ok i am feeling genreous so i will make him like 5'10-5'11....maybe....idk he can get kinda close to kissing kyle as a treat ig he just feels like a couple inches taller than regular stan also....MILD ASS...I GUESS....MEDIUM ASS BECAUSE OF THE TINY PANTS...I CANT DENY THE ALLEGATIONS ANYMORE BC I TALK ABT RAVEN IN THE LITTLE PANTS TOO MUCH

i hope that helps haha u can draw whatever u want but this is how my brain was working <3

-uncle nina

#most of my kyles are very like ethereal statuesqe striking reinassance art pretty #and my stans are usually like bouncy hollister model conventionally hot pretty #also not me gaslighting kyle 24/7 #but yes they are cute #but they are basically just older stan and kyle like older stan and kyle would probably look vaguely similar to rm jersey/raven #w mild differences #but like something abt kyle w hair up in the claw clip w the strands and his glasses and his big sweatshirt being y/n #i have a crush on uuuuuuuu #but also hi platinum blonde edgy piercing tattoo sleeve tiny skin tight pans rockstar ravenstan #i alsoooooo have a crush on u #his little edgy planty boy tattoos are soooooo cute to me

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solarianvoidthearoace · 5 months

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So a few months back, actually, I retroactively realised I was straight-edge for a while – before I even found out it was a distinct subculture lifestyle

I was “straight edge” from 19-20 and then between 21 and 23

I didn’t know it was even a subculture, I’m just an asexual who’s not interested in smoking and is mildly paranoid about drinking alcohol (the break in my streak is because I stupidly got myself a boyfriend for less than a year)

I’m European and as such the drinking age in my country is below 18, actually

So I did drink alcohol occasionally between ages 15 and 19 before I decided sometime during my 19th year that I don’t want to risk it with the alcohol

I’m mentally ill and I got somewhat paranoid about that meaning I have a tendency/ predisposition to become an alcoholic, plus I just never go out to discos/ parties, so I didn’t really have a reason to drink – especially during the Covid lockdowns

I had distanced myself from alcohol and never got into the “party scene” as young adults do

Getting a boyfriend was a lapse of judgement on my part and in hindsight I’d rather have kept up my streak of being Straight Edge than waste my time on that guy

Aaaaanyhow, I even made it 2 1/2 years before I had a glass of wine again (I was visiting my parents and my mom wanted to have a glass after dinner)

Though I have to concede I probably should be keeping my distance from alcohol anyway due to the 3 psych meds I’m dependent on – I’m only on antidepressants and methylphenidate hydrochloride (for ADHD) buuuuut still, doesn’t mix too well with alcohol but a bottle of wine on occasion is fine, imo

So since I’m not 100% alcohol-free and willing to drink on occasion, I can’t call myself straight edge anymore

And once again I’m back on the topic of whether I can rightfully call myself punk, although two bloggers I follow and respect a lot (one here, one on FB) both said from what I told I do sound like an activist

That’s the thing I am mostly worried about, whether my activism counts because I’m a “keyboard warrior” and don’t go attend protests/ events

I’m outspoken about being disabled, I’m outspoken and loud about being queer, and I’m outspoken (and loud) about being mentally ill…

I’m visible.

Partially because I found, over the years, that I can’t not be visible.

I always stand out, I’m always the weird one, the odd one out. The only way I can fit in is by being quiet, keeping quiet. Because I don’t know how to mask in a way that won’t set people off about me being off.

And with the joint splints/ support bandages and walking cane, it’s not like I can be invisible about that.

And as for being queer… I’m aromantic asexual. I’m an oriented aroace, yes, but that’s where my gender factors in.

I’m agender-genderqueer and that little binaryness that is there is decidedly masc-in-nature. I have used MINgender, masculenby, transneumasc, more or less interchangeably.

Point being: the closest relation I have to the gender binary is on the masculine side of things.

And since I know I have a preference for queer men, I would say ‘m-spec vincian’ describes my orientation.

But whatever you’re picturing me like in your head right now, I don’t look the part.

I pass as a perfectly average young woman, albeit with bright green hair (blue can’t work with my natural color-undertones)

I don’t look punk, I don’t look emo, hell, I barely look queer.

To me, personally, being punk is defined by being proactive, being contrarian, being anti-establishment

Don’t get me wrong, my go-to playlist is alternative metal, punk rock, pop punk, postcore, metalcore, emocore, alternative rock and then some

But I’m not interested at all in going to live music events; even if I won concert tickets, I’d hand them over to my cousin and his friends who’d be more than happy

I just don’t like live music or live events, I’m too autistic and my auditory processing disorder isn’t helping

Reading this it probably sounds like I’m begging for validation… no, I actually got that from those two bloggers after explicitly stating I just don’t think I’m punk enough, no need for encouraging words

But hey, come hell or high water, I’m content with who I am (even if I forget that sometimes)

I have come a long way and I’m only 24 now

I am who I am, fuck the haters

And if my chronic joint pains turn out to be early onset rheumatism, it’s putting a name to a condition I have had for years; my walking cane looks cool anyway

#personal whining #about me #emo who doesn’t dress the part #punk who doesn’t dress the part #living my punk phase in my 20s #living my emo phase in my 20s #ambulatory cane user #young and disabled

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