#i couldnt imagine posting that or wanting to be seen like that
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Thoughts on Papers Please? Love the game, but it's been bugging me for years that I've not seen anyone actually analyze the "What if 1984 was a videogame about the GDR" part (Or at least I couldnt find anything!)
In general it's kinda fascinating just how commonly accepted it is to portray the GDR as "literally what Orwell wrote about in his hit novel 1984", even in media that leans left, or by people that outright identify themselves as communists. It's like a blind spot in the eye of radical thought, an accepted, undeniable unquestionable truth that East Germany was a totalitarian hell, and denying that reality is akin to supporting The Great Evil that was happening behind those walls
i don't really think there's any connection to the GDR specifically--yes, there's a wall, but the aesthetics of the game are clearly ''eastern european'' in a nonspecific, stereotypical way, and the political situation much more closely resembles post-collapse yugoslavia or post-soviet central asia.
like, it's definitely anticommunist! just not in a measured or considered way, lucas pope just wanted to do the classic literary move of using another culture as essentially a mirror in which to place criticisms of one's own culture--and instead of bothering to do any research, just lazily amalgamated every stereotype that was floating around his head re: ''eastern europe'' as nebulously imagined by an incurious usamerican into one undifferentiated smorgasbord against which to make his criticism of usamerican border policy. the anticommunism is mostly incidental, imo--it's just an artifact of anticommunist tropes being a big part of the ''eastern europe'' of the usamerican cultural imaginary
#ask#obviously in case this is not clear i think this kind of sucks still just not in the specific way you're saying#obvsiues i agree with you more broadly re: the ddr
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A BLACK OUT/SLAM POEM based on the teletubbies (tv) tag on ao3
TRIGGER WARNING_MILK.
stray dogs literature clubs, the school for good and evil. ink sans angel—stranger things
horror sans guy—don’t hug me i’m scared. don’t hug me i’m scared, (don’t hug me i’m scared.)
free form plot twists. tragedy/comedy. alternate universe—high school. alternate universe—music.
the chaos unfolds each day, pristine, centuries ago, fight the many.
post divorce, living together, implied drug use, alcoholism. snippets from the end of the show, renunion, although it takes place a couple years before. we were the stars (but space was a void) by ponfarrpussyqueen.
corporate clash, bug, duck, the guardian pest, the prince, macarena, kissing, crack, as a joke, boys kissing, regret everything
underage julius caesar, emo napoleon, mating bond, tentacle dick, magic healing cock, holy water, holy roman empire, kissing in the rain, the battle of waterloo, a true story.
crossover, insanehappymealgiver, original character, original, simulator, mentioned, i’m at my limit, intentionally bad, wearing the other character’s skin, start praying because this sure ain’t holy, my dad went to get the milk because of this, sent to the void, put me in a coffin, rancid hope’s peak
we greet you with good luck and prosperity.
we love gay anal and lesbian smut and we hope you do too.
diminishing flame, not for kids, you’ll cry so hard you won’t have eyes, not sorry, commit a clarity, vaporized, freeform, sewer rat
2020 presidential election, spit as lube.
chaos bear, crack, crack, crack, has religious trauma, gay, gay, lesbian, lesbian sex, orgy, moist naked bodies rainbow is jesus, sex during tornado, this is NOT. finished.
there she was, in a new world. guess she’ll play the cards she’s dealt.
jesus confessed, sin shock, tears streaming down her face. “i fucked your sister.” crack. treated seriously, why did i write this. gay best friend—i can see that (i’m safe here.)
why did i write this!
crack. treated seriously.
slowly losing our sanity, we die.
crack, treated seriously. the moon of hope and the sun of despair LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOO.
crack, treated seriously, blue balls, orphan account
his little purse. what was once an inside joke is now taken seriously. crack. crack. fluff and crack. angst and crack. i am a man of my word, and i speak for the people.
a million other projects to complete
crack, crack, i dont know what’s going on, we’re idiots so we made this
it starts out all nice then it all goes downhill
satan, crack, this is a joke, please help me, please don’t hate me, i’m so sorry, i cannot think of anything else, please don’t read this. but. do, the author regrets nothing, the author regrets everything, why do i still exist? (discontinued, at least until further notice.) by even moderner prometheus
forbidden love, dead dove:do not eat.
so small in the midst of it all. rolling with the weird and unusual, traumatized teens to comfort, and an important decision to make
i came up with this, i will go down with this
i can’t believe i write this, why did i write this, i wrote this while listening to mother mother, sleep deprived, wrote this instead of sleeping, the guardian witnessed sex and is now scarred, touching, addiction, slut shaming
insufferable with apologies to all my followers, hell (literal), sewage
i got problems, so fucking random, pulled out of my ass, hard to explain, hard to word, each chapter will be posted, find me on wattpad,
near death experiences, major illness, declarations of love, love confessions, eating, marking, delay/denial, knotting, marking, mating bites, overstimulation, based on taylor swift songs, missing spleen
help me pleease, im scared, why did i write this?, just this really chill person who wants to take over the world, humanized teletubbies, my friend and i wrote this over the summer
you better not forgive me for this, im serious, vaginal fingering, a hushed voice, the contact making her shiver.
may your heart stay strong. torture, vomiting, blood and gore, self-indulgent, touch starved guardian, all characters are adults, electricity, suicidal thoughts, medical inaccuracies,
and yet… you lie again. i like noo-noo i hope he explodes, don’t show up
crack. i am so sorry. not in detail but it could’ve been so count your blessings
gods this can’t end well, good parent, to two children, bad parent, to the other one
IM SO SRRY BUT THIS WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD, HAHA SUFFER,
attempt at humor, death, gore, i don’t even know, i’m so sorry, you have been warned, i posted this for my brother’s birthday
plague, companionship, through the fields we ran
it quickly turns into anti-demon propaganda
a play in one act, post-war, no sex, no killing
the prize of reading this is to meet god
help my poor soul this is a disgrace but it was my first fic so i refuse to orphan it, and the teletubbies followed
help, i was forced to write this and i’m sorry, i don’t even know what to call this monster, the southern pansy, aziphrale, the prince of hell, and the archangel gabriel
angst, satire, this is not serious, it’s meant to be funny
DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN BY THREE HIGH THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS.
this is what you’ve been waiting for and hoping would never come
hearing voices, broken bones, emotional manipulation,
live, work, play, a simple life, protected, until a stranger comes.
i can’t give you a summary of the plot. that would ruin the story.
the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part one)
the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part seventeen.)
let me know if i forgot to tag anything!!
blame the painkillers. i blame the painkillers.
#so when i was a kid i once made fun of this person i met irl bc he would post like. all the gay tags n i thoufht it wasnt cool#like gay twink n like all of those things#just an endless paragraph of labels#i couldnt imagine posting that or wanting to be seen like that#i couldnt imagine wanting to be seen at all#i didnt say it to his face i just called it cringe to a friend and they rightfully called me out on it#why is that so funny to you? that he wants to be known? that he wants to reach out to his community?#i woke up one morning and saw that he had imed me in the middle of the night#i imed him back n didnt get a response n thought nothing of it#i wish i had been up that night#i wouldnt have been able to do anything#but every time we post something every time we tag something#we are looking fir connection#this is not the void#you are not screaming i to the void#people we see you#and i hope they hear you#bc what you have to say can be beautiful. even when its a joke#this is a joke. but it is also real to me#every one of these tags and titles is real#and a real person wrote them#they sat down and did that#n they wanted u to see them#everyone wants to be seen#and smiled at. n liked#and i hope someone likes you. i hope someone likes you enough to be awake at 3am#n i hope you like yourself enough to keep posting and tagging and trying so hard to be noticed#bc there is beauty in everything#even and especially you#where are those high thirteen year olds now
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im trying to respond to people on my post who have questions or are confused but theres just so many 😭 i dont know how to explain the intricacies of classism or how hard it is to get a lawyer to start and WIN a discrimination case. especially since i dont know australian laws. but like... this behavior, denying someone a job for their outfit, is really common across the world. classism is pervasive and it's dangerous and it costs people their lives. we would have to change the capitalist system, change policies across the globe, and work on our internalized classist beliefs for the rest of our lives.
#i think a lot of people are sharing the post in shock and horror. not knowing that this happens to people every day. which is really sad.#like. this is an issue that is literally ignored and swept under the rug. to the point where people dont think about it. even though like.#when you hear about Interview/Business Culture you know you have to dress well. everyone knows that's like step 1. but people havent#actually stopped and asked what the purpose of that is or what that means. people haven't considered what happens if you break that rule. or#why that rule is there at all... emily gwen said that they can't afford new clothing. and couldnt get the words out in the moment. but like.#imagine this from the interviewer's perspective. she saw someone who was 'unprofessional' because of their clothing. and that's fucked up!#WE know the situation because of their post. but they shouldnt need to justify their attire like that to get a damn job. we dont need to#know someones circumstances to treat them like a person. and i want everyone to really think about this. how many times in your life have#you seen someone with worn out clothes. dirty clothes. clothes with holes in them. clothes that are 'too casual' for their setting. and how#have you treated those people? how have you thought about them? and think about this in media. how many people with bad clothes are seen as#irresponsible? or treated like shit? this happens every day. and it's not australia specific or america specific either. it's everywhere.#so please show others compassion. this experience is traumatic and alienating. it's hard to reach out. its embarassing to talk about.#and it's even harder to get legal defense for this stuff. you need money and you need solid proof. oftentimes people have neither.#other things to consider clothing-wise: clothes that dont fit. too big or too small. modified outfits. clothes that dont match the weather#(like wearing a sweater in the summer or thin shirts/shorts in the winter). like. these are things people judge all the time idk.#what happened to emily was horrific. but it's not new and youre not immune to thinking the same way.#anis gaymer moments
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제이 — boyfriend! jay gets jealous because reader can’t seem to shut up about her idol and how much she was praising him. 👼 warning jay gets really possessive and a little bit mad <3 (for my babez dia) 🫶
JAY KNEW HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS A FAN GIRL. she wasn't a hard core fan, but it could be counted as a hobby for her. she spends money to see her idols, she giggles over her idols, she was a typical fan girl.
occasionally, this didn't make jay any jealous to her surprise. well sometimes, he could be a bit envious to his own girlfriend thirsting over her idols.
but he knew she was his and he was somehow better than her any of her biases and idols.
currently, the girl was laying on jay's lap. while she was on her phone as he watched her, playing with her hair gently, looking at her with admiration.
she was scrolling through her tiktok feed, denying the fact how sleepy she was due to the fact of how soft her boyfriend, jay, was softly caressing her hair.
she felt her eyes drooping, accepting that she wanted to sleep badly, she scrolled one more time and then closed her eyes.
until she realized, she scrolled past a video of her ult bias. she couldnt believe her eyes, her ult bias was practically naked with no shirt on, only a few chains wrapped around his neck, a black jacket falling of his shoulders that covered nothing, and black baggy pants that made her ult's waist drastically smaller.
"OH! MY! GOD!" the girl sprung up from the couch, suddenly gaining all the energy in the world. jay suddenly flinched when he saw his girlfriend jump with her phone practically glued to her face. "baby, what is it?" he stood up in curiosity, peeking on the side of her shoulder to see her phone.
"jay! look at how good he looks! omfg who let him do this ?! what about my mental health" she chuckled softly, but jay didn't seem to happy.
her ult bias was definitely a bit buff, he had abs that weren't even that seen but were enough to expand your imagination to the fullest extent. he was jealous. it seemed like his girlfriend never reacted like that when it came to him.
"I guess he looks great. yeah baby."
"I need to post this on my story he looks so..!" she smiled brightly, but all jay could think about was how did he look? he looked so... what? why can't she just finish her sentence? "yeah... you go ahead darling." he scoffed, but she didn't notice.
jay would never admit it, but he wanted all of his girlfriends attention on him.
"he's so hot!-"
"hmp!" jay suddenly kissed his girlfriend on the lips, shutting her up. he held her face and cupped it, bringing her close. she was stunned at his straightforward actions.
“do you like him more than me, baby?" he asked her lowly, she then shook her head, "no.. of course not, jay…”
"your thirsting over some other man who isn't your boyfriend.. shouldn't you be giving me some attention pretty girl?" he frowned in a sad and teasing manner.
"does your idol give you kisses? does your idol play with your hair? does your idol hug you with all of the affection in the world?" he asked her, "no jay.! it's just that-"
"I was joking baby," (no he wasn't.) "but your my girl so give ME attention."
"sorry jay." the girl looked down kind of guilty, until she got swept off her feet by her boyfriend and she screamed a bit. "yah! jay! put me down!"
"your mine, don't look at other men. got it pretty girl?"
@jwnstars...
ok this was so fun to make because it was my first rq l love it actually!!! 🤧🤧 thank u to my baby dia hshshshshshhshs I hope this isn't too bad😋😋
#enhypen#enhypen fan fiction#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagine#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#jay#jay enhypen#jay enhypen x reader#jay x reader#jay enhypen x you#jay enhypen x y/n#jay enha#jay park#jay park au
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@agent-darkfest Hey i was your Secret Santa!!! :D
Your art and style are literally gorgeous and i had such a good time doing my research and browsing through your stuff! ^^
All your designs for your AUs are so cool too!!!
I tried to get something done for both of your AUs :)
I really hope its okay that its not 100% accurate to the AU!
I just got this idea because of all of his connections to crows and literally could not get it out of my head TwT
It
✨️Infested✨️
My brain
I also actually had alot of fun rendering this ^^
I did also consider an alternate piece just incase this one was a little too far off, but as seen by my last minute posting, i may have tried to bite off a bit more than i could chew and not gotten to do everything i wanted to complete 😅
I did have a list of sketch/doodle ideas like some more Christmasy things, stuff to do with your Metal au yn and some Farm shenanigans that i was going to compile and add but ended up not having time
But ill probably still do them because i dont think my brain would let me go on without doing so XD
So those will probably get posted soon as extra little bits, too! ^^
And for the Metal au i did this silly little comic!
I hope its not out of character for the au or anything 😅
But after seeing the little comic of where they first started i couldnt help but imagine mischief like this ^^
Honestly, im actually quite nervous about showing this
After spending so long thinking of ideas and getting excited about drawing them, i will admit im still a little worried that i misinterpreted something or did something incorrectly TwT
But i guess i just really hope that you like it in the end! ^w^
#cattart#dcass2023#dcass23#dca fanart#dca art#dca au#sundrop fanart#sundrop fnaf#fnaf sundrop#sun fnaf#fnaf sun#sundrop#moon fnaf#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#fnaf moondrop#moondrop fanart#moondrop#dca#fnaf dca#dca fnaf#daycare attendant fnaf#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach
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For Jasmine ( Ellie ) - E.W
Inspired by the melanie martinez song - Glued !!
Word count - 0.6k
Warnings - Angst. Cheating. Idk thats rlly all
You and Ellie had been dating since you two were 18. It was a private relationship, as much as you two wanted to show each other off , she wasnt as ready as you were. So you decided to give her time to sort through her problems, while you sort yours.
The only two people that knew about you two were Dina , your best friend , and Jesse , another person you had grown close with when you moved to jackson. So when you had been invited to join them at the tipsy bison , you were overjoyed. Ever since Dina and Jesse had broken up things had been awkward to say the least. But you hoped things would somewhat go back to normal. Soon later , when you arrived to the tipsy bison , you saw something you hoped never to see in a million years.
A year from now , you would have never imagined things would end up like they did.
When walking into the tipsy bison , seeing Dina and Ellie— kissing. It seemed like Ellie didnt see you at first. But when she did , she felt her body freeze up. You felt tears prick your eye’s as you walked out. You felt everyones eyes on you as you ran towards your home. Feeling a mix of pain and sadness.
Walking into your room that night , you felt yourself let go. The tears fell from your eyes fall down with every breath you took. Quiet sobs took up the sound of your home that night. You never knew things would be like this but you knew you couldnt stay with Ellie longer , your heart wouldnt let you. You knew you had to face her at one point. But first you needed time to heal. If it was possible
It had been a week since you saw Ellie. The break up was nothing you two had talked abut , but you knew you had to. Ellie had lingered in your mind since that day. And the fact that everyone was talking about what had happened between Ellie and Dina , didn’t make things much better. And at some point you had to face the fact that you and Ellie could never work. What didnt help was the voice in the back of your mind telling you if she really loved you that much , she would give you an explanation. But until then , things stayed the same.
Time skip
When Word had gone out that you were leaving jackson , Ellie knew she had to confront you about that day. Which was a fear of hers she had to put aside. She needed to talk to you even if she knew you hated her. But when arriving to your home , all that was left was an envelope on the counter reading “To Ellie”
A/N 💬 - You might have seen this before bc I posted it on my main.. but im posting it here :)
—Ari 🪽
#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x you#ellie williams angst#ellie williams x female reader
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post fall bucky having a fear of heights?? ive always thought that he'd be afraid of heights, like he wasnt afraid of it at all before his fall, go ask steve. but after falling?? he tries to hide it from steve, how scared he is.. and steve, bless his poor soul, he blames himself for not realizing sooner, he thinks he shouldve known, he couldnt possibly have. hes always seen bucky as this brave courage man, and bucky didnt want to ruin steve's image of him worse than he already think he did. and oh my fucking god
THE POST PLANE CRASH STEVE BEING AFRAID OF TIGHT SPACES?? BECAUSE IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO FEELING THE COLD SEEP IN THROUGH HIS VERY BONES WHILE HE GETS CRUSHED BY ALL THE WATER, ICE, AND DEBRIS?? DONT GET ME STARTED OH MY GOD
HONEY I FEEL LIKE YOUR LEVEL OF CRUELTY TOWARDS ME SPECIFICALLY IS REACHING DANGEROUS LEVELS HERE
but I get it, I getchu hon, sometimes we just gotta put the blorbos in a Situation™, that's how we roll.
but holy shit 😭😭😭
I mean god, Bucky-
imagine how tough it must be for him, every time they're on a mission, 'cause he's first and foremost a sniper, isn't he? and for him, that often involves perching on the roof of really high buildings, and keeping as still as possible for as long as necessary - and above all, keeping a steady hand, because what is a sniper supposed to be if not precise and lethal and reliable?
and factor in all the other possible contingencies, too! like having to bolt if he's spotted by the enemy, and having to climb back down in a rush. or helping chase after the bad guys from rooftop to rooftop. or when, god forbid, they have to jump out of a plane and parachute themselves to a certain site.
it's an absolute nightmare for Bucky, but he just keeps trying to tough it out, right? grit his teeth, push through even when his flesh palm is clammy with sweat, even when his stomach is churning and his legs feel like jelly, even when his hands start shaking despite his best efforts to hold them still. it's scary and mortifying all at once, and he can't bring himself to say anything about it to anyone, especially to Steve. because he knows Steve would try to suggest he take it easy and stay behind, while Steve himself is out there risking his neck, and the very notion makes Bucky feel sick.
so he's just desperately hanging in there, right?
until something happens. he's dizzy, his hands are shaking too bad, he flubs a shot, Steve almost gets killed because of it. Bucky snaps. this is the last straw. he's done.
I mean, imagine how it must tear. him. apart. how horribly it must hurt him to admit to himself that he can't go on like this anymore. because on the one hand, fuck it all to hell, he's supposed to be by Steve's side! watch his six, protect him, make sure he makes it home in one piece! it's what Bucky's been doing ever since they were kids, it's a fundamental part of who he is! to even imagine letting Steve walk into a fight alone - no, not 'alone', without Bucky - is unthinkable. it's like denying himself a basic need. like denying who Bucky is, what he feels he was born to do, a biological imperative.
but. on the other hand, the thought of putting Steve in danger, of Steve getting hurt (or worse) because Bucky couldn't do his job properly, is even more unbearable.
Steve counts on him, trusts him with his life - as he should be able to do, if they're going to be a team - but how can Bucky allow that anymore, now that he can't even trust himself? how can he be what Steve needs, if he's going to let him down when Steve needs him the most? how would he ever forgive himself if something happened to Steve because of him?
he barely holds himself together until they get home, and then he just, he breaks down. stumbles over to the couch, crumples in on himself, trembling, pale like a ghost, taking in big gulps of air like he'll drown otherwise. telling a worried Steve, who's crouching next to him in a heartbeat, "I can't do this anymore".
now Steve, he had noticed that something was off for a while now, and Bucky's words just confirm what he already suspected. he thinks, of course Bucky's sick of this, of course he doesn't want to fight anymore - god knows he's got plenty of reasons to want to leave all this shit behind.
Steve could never imagine what the actual issue is, here - not until he's trying to tell Bucky that it's his right to retire if that's what he wants, that of course Steve supports him, and Bucky interrupts him to confess, in between sobs, where exactly the problem lies, and how he fears he's no longer fit to accompany Steve on missions, 'cause he'd risk becoming a liability rather than backup.
CUE A WHOLE SHITTON OF FEELS because fuck, how long has Bucky been feeling this way, and how did Steve not realize it sooner, and the way Steve's face twists with guilt when he wonders where this fear of heights might come from, and gives himself the most obvious amd most fucking heartbreaking answer, and Bucky can tell that he's hurting and blaming himself and they're just BOTH hurting and blaming themselves and hfgskfjskks HONEY WE'RE SPEEDRUNNING THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF HERE HELP
no, but. they're gonna have an honest conversation about this, okay? painful, yes, but also liberating. they're going to air out some of that hurt, and actually let it heal out in the open for once.
I figure there's gonna be lots of bargaining first, on both parts, like Bucky arguing that he could still fight, just maybe stick to the ground instead, and Steve telling him that he doesn't have to, and really he'd be happier knowing that Bucky's safe at home and not forcing himself into dangerous situations, and Bucky grumbling 'cause oh how the tables have turned, and just, you know, trying to find a way to compromise.
I think, maybe this is how Steve first starts to really, genuinely consider retiring, himself. like, not just picturing it in a distant, wistful way, oh wouldn't it be nice if we could do that, etc - but really, really entertaining the idea. letting himself plan it out. talking about it with Bucky, even with Sam and Nat, giving himself the chance to consider another kind of life. after all, there are plenty of battles to fight in the world, and not all of them require fists and guns, right? and if he can fight those battles too alongside Bucky, then so much the better 💖
CLAUSTROPHOBIC STEVE THOUGH OMG
somehow the first thing that comes to mind is that one scene from CATWS, when he and Nat find Zola's computerized ass and he blows up the building, and they're stuck in a tiny hole under all the rubble until Steve gets them both out. I CAN PICTURE ONLY TOO VIVIDLY HOW FUCKING SCARY THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM, OH MY GOD
as somebody who shares that kind of phobia, may I submit to you one of the most obvious, most mundane monsters he might face: ELEVATORS. especially of the narrow, non-see through kind, where you're literally locked inside a metal box until it releases you from that torment. IF IT DOES. like honey the anxiety is real af okay
in the spirit of putting the blorbos in a Situation™, please picture them both in an old-fashioned elevator.
Steve hasn't mentioned his fear to Bucky, he's just been lucky so far, so he didn't have to bring it up. but the stupid thing is so slow, and the space inside is so small, and sure, Steve never minded being in Bucky's close proximity, but he can't stop thinking about getting the fuck out of there asap.
at some point the fucking thing stops, and oh good god they're stuck inside, and it's gonna take a while for help to come.
and Bucky, sweet, horny, unsuspecting Bucky, just makes a little joke about knowing just how they could pass the time until then, wink wink. he crowds Steve back against the already narrow wall, starts sucking languid kisses into Steve's neck-- and Steve's frozen, breathing in quick shallow breaths that could be mistaken for gasps of pleasure, holding onto Bucky with an iron grip because he can feel himself spiraling into panic, heart racing wildly, eyes darting from wall to wall like he can see them rapidly closing in on him, suffocating him, squeezing him in--
and it takes a moment for Bucky to realize what's really going on, but when he pulls back and sees Steve so terrified, hyperventilating and about ten seconds away from passing out, he switches into Protective Boyfriend mode like *snaps fingers*
he's like, "sweetheart, what's wrong?", and the second Steve gasps "out, I need to get outta here, now", Bucky springs into action and pries the elevator's door open with his bare hands, helping Steve climb out (the next floor was already into view) and following suit.
of course they're gonna talk about it (and realize that they should maybe stop hiding their respective fears from each other), and from then on... yep, they stick to stairs <3
#stucky just stucky#stucky#this got long i'm so sorry#also#i really wanted to scribble a little thing about this - either headcanon or possibly even both - like a decent-looking fic you know#but the braincell refused to cooperate :'(#either way HONEY I LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU MAKE ME AND THE BOYS SUFFER LIKE THIS#*SCREECHES*#i hope the read-more works ahsdjkshdkjsh
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seen some posts joking about gortash’s “anti-anxiety coat” due to the immune to frightened enchantment, and its probably not that deep or meta but i actually do find it a compelling look at how he really does walk around almost supernaturally fearless. like even when you threaten him he brushes it off like its funny or just nonsense, if worth reacting to at all! even when you meet him at the morphic pools to face down the netherbrain, his words convey a lack of confidence in winning but his tone and body language do not. and i think part of it is that he is insane (affectionate) but also, possibly, the power of the anti-anxiety coat lol.
he also does things like robbing the crown of karsus from the personal vault of the archdevil mephistopheles, and befriending a bhaalspawn on purpose. things that normal people or even average villains probably wouldnt dream of attempting, and he pulled them off near-flawlessly. but if he’s so effortlessly unflappable, why the coat enchantment right? the game could have made “immune to frightened” an inherent feature, but they made it something he only gains from his equipment. it’s just interesting to think about!
and since i am thinking about it… if we imagine that he is genuinely prone to anxiety or panic attacks, and has difficulty controlling it enough to be worried about appearances in public and have a whole enchanted coat about it, what do you think he’s actually scared of? does he have more of a generalised anxiety thanks to growing up in hell and etc, or do you think there are specific things that really get to him? is it other people? politics, secretly? the idea of powerlessness?
ironically i think the dark urge would probably be the only thing that genuinely does not scare him in the least, and couldnt if they tried.
I think that he was a scared little boy when his parents sold him to pay off their debts.
I don't believe his parents, when they said that he was a spiteful and hateful wretch from birth. Nubaldin says that they sold him to pay off a petty debt.
Now either of them could be lying, but I fail to see why Nubaldin would lie to you. He has no reason to, he just thinks you're one of the spirits of the damned.
Gortash's mom, on the other hand, would lie because she hates Gortash for tadpoling her, and it would be her justification for what she did to him. Plus, she's hoping you can save her, so she has to make herself look sympathetic.
So I think Gortash was hurt and abandoned, and enslaved by an awful devil, who allowed his servants to beat him black and blue. Everyone in the House of Hope is a miserable wretch. The Archivist mentions that his spine was like...I think punctured or broken for making a mistake?
And we know Nubaldin used to "bruise his knuckles" on Enver's "whimpering face."
So he must've been terrified, all of the time he spent imprisoned in the House of Hope. Of being punished, of being trapped there forever...
So when he manages to escape one day, slipping out due to a silly mistake on Nubaldin's part...
What's the first thing he would do?
Try to attain power. But not just because he's scared and wants to feel powerful! I actually have another theory.
See...some people data mined the game and discovered that Gortash might've been intended to be in the House of Hope at some point... because Raphael still has his contract.
So he's still not free of Raphael, even though he escaped him.
He has a note on his body, indicating that he might've been speaking with Helsik about going back, so he could get his contract, presumably.
Now imagine this poor lost young man...whose parents sold him. Who spent his childhood being tortured by souls of the damned and the devil and his servants.
He would never ever want to go back there. Not in life, not in death.
So what does he need to do?
Become powerful.
Strong enough to raid the hells, and either kill Raphael, or at least steal back his contract. so what does he turn to first?
Weapons. The black market. People who know about slipping in and out of the hells, and how to kill monsters, demons, and all other manner of creature.
Then, he needs to curry favor with a powerful god. One who can help him. One who can use him, for his fear and desperation. Who is a good god to turn to for that?
Bane. God of tyranny. Someone who could have use for him, if only he was clever and ruthless enough. And young Enver Gortash has a lot to prove.
And he would be drawn to the power of Bane, the ability to force others to submit to your will.
And the Dead Three?
That's even more power for him to obtain.
Siding with Ketheric, finding the Dark Urge...
I mean.
Listen.
Just on a character level, a powerless abuse victim seeking power does make sense...but I also think.
Wouldn't it be interesting, if he was doing all of this, so that he could both obtain power for himself...and also obtain the power he would need to kill Raphael?
Just food for thought.
Anyway.
Off topic.
Back to the subject of his cloak...well.
He would never want to be afraid again.
Fake it till you make it. Maybe he made or bought the cloak with the no fear enchantment so that he could fake confidence and power, until he actually had it?
Either way, it makes sense with his backstory. It's also so goddamn sad.
Also, he should be afraid of the dark urge, but isn't. Maybe that's why they were drawn to one another.
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Hey, you said that you came up with the Little Brother au before you started Tumblr, right?
So, since I haven't been following you for that long, or at least, I think so, what was your inspiration for making this au? When did you exactly come up with the idea? Do you have any original title names?
Also, a silly question: What are all the fandoms you are currently in? Just in case your pinned post is outdated :]
oh man. hmm
i got into tmnt 4th april 2021, because i wanted to rewatch 2012, only remembered some of it from when i was little, then deciding yup i want to look at everything tmnt. then i got hyperfixated
he started out as a really ambiguous any iteration oc, around the time i was reading the northampton arc of idw, (late juneish 2021?) was when i first drew him, all it was was just hehe silly green masked ninja turtle in sophie campbells idw artstyle
(i love sophie campbells art its so good)
then i drew him in the 2012 series, and he became more of his own character. in my old idea for 2012 he was significantly moody and overconfident, had his own abandoned area in the subway tunnels for spraypainting, was good buddies with raph but really didnt like leo at all. also had a scar on his shell, for some reason?? i wont say why but he can super easily be slapped into another iteration and i love that
it was only when i watched rise and tried to imagine him in their universe too that i went hold on- we got a whole potential story here. little brother was a placeholder title really, but i couldnt think of anything better soo. little brother.
the vine flesh concept was an absolutely random idea at first that was way too cool to drop.
i did have this whole really cool arc planned where eventually draxum did get tricked into allying with the foot, theyd protect five whod help fight the mad dogs for the kuroi yoroi shards, ("looking for this?") and hed also be able to sabotage the armour in some way.
but. i couldnt have this in because 1. distract way too much from the story i want to tell. 2. having shredder appear in the comic would ask for an entire shredder arc and respectfully no thanks lol.
just imagine five is in s2 trust me hes there hes awesome (oh and you know how in canon, shredder needed to take power from draxum, and it looked like he took the vines power from him? uhuh. and you know how five also has it? but instead its the only thing keeping him stuck together? uhuh. anyways!)
ohh!! cool oc trivia- his weapon was kinda undecided between tonfa (before i watched rise) or two scythes i referenced it in page 20 :D !!
his weapon would still be scythes i think, if he wasnt using the vines as his weapon
and no i try to keep my master post updated all the time, theres HEAPS more stuff i like, just complicated to think what to put on there? for example i looove how to train your dragon, but havent seen much of it past rewatching the 3 movies, thats nothing compared to rewatching all of adventure time 5 times. i dunno!
the way my interests work is that theres a selection of 1-3 that my brain focuses on, but it doesnt make any of the others less or i stopped liking them at all or anything. i have so many interests help me
right NOW im really hyperfixated on danny phantom and tf2!!
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the idea of Benrey eating away at the organism/facility/game manifesting as the rules and reality of the game breaking down is so neat to me. The idea of this limited world that’s all flat polygons of concrete and metal and sand and rock in rigid form cracking and losing meaning until objects are drifting through surfaces and corpses aren’t staying dead and inorganic material repeating itself endlessly like tumors is soo.
yes!!! you get it!!! he is something so completely other that it manifests in reality. i love that little fucker.
i think your idea about benry being a tumor is fucking amazing. as the game progresses the weird shit gets worse. he multiplies. the organism gets infected, he is spreading through the facility. i think a cool way for this to show, that isnt seen within canon, would be certain part of the facility turning into body parts. your choice whether the body parts are that of siphonphores, or mammals, but i think leaning against some wall and it kinda just. flexing under you is a cool concept. but then again imagine seeing some internal wiring glow, but not like LEDs do, it is bioluminescent, kinda like the sweet voice. depends if you want the whole thing to be more horror or scifi. it could be both tbh.
refferencing that post i made before, talking about no-clipping through walls and seeing all of the rooms and hallways from that outside perspective, what if gordon just. accidentally went through and wall and instead of seeing the usual videogame bullshit he saw the circulatory system that the organism shares. weird way to get to know your new friends but ok. and there are these lumps, these differences in the circuits, in the veins, those are benry.
OUGH AND!! maybe benrys rampant use of the sweetvoice is his trying (and failing) to mimic the organism, and trying to become part of it. obviously he sucks at it, as the organism only uses sweetvoice to communicate with itself. he cannot fit into the system. gordon doesnt fit into the system. the science team, though part of the system, has this kind of dissonance, this kind of uncomfortable other-ness to the system.
not sure where to end this!! the movie annihilation is almost exactly the concept you are talking about, i couldnt stop thinking about it while i wrote this. probably one of my favourite movies ever.
#hlvrai#hah! what are you talking about! my AU about preconceived systems feeding off of living things which eventually ends living things#breaking off. that also involves a character who tries and fails to fit into that system is not based on what its like to live#as a minority at all!! what are you saying!!!#benry hlvrai#haunted house hlvrai au
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I have just seen this and maybe you have talked about it before but Effie x Walburga
I’m like shaken because I can’t imagine James mom ever wanting to be with someone probably cruel from birth. I mean they would have been together in the fifties, idk it made em giggle
would you all still love me if i said i was a walburga defender… :(
ok ive been pondering this all day, and ive also spent an insane amount of time on public transport trying to find a post i made in defence of walburga. @sugarsnappeases pulled up her laptop as my own personal hacker and stalker and couldnt find it either. however i found a snippet of an ’what are ur unpopular opinions’ ask and found this:
and that’s the gist of it. if anyone remembers the post i made or know how to find it pleaseeeeee send it to me. me and kara went through hell and back to try and find it :(((((((
anyway!
1. i hate the concept of people being born ’cruel’ or ’evil’. people are people and sometimes people do bad things. i think its important to still acknowledge that abusive people aren’t monsters who just couldn’t help themselves. abusers are people and those people chose to treat you like that. that was a choice they didn’t have to make, but they did. abusers aren’t monsters or monstrous. it’s important to me, due to personal experience, to remember that abuse is a choice. it allows me to feel betrayed and hurt and angry that a person chose to do that to me
2. i think walburga was a victim her whole childhood. atleast my own depiction of her. it’s different when she becomes an adult, has children, etc, and she should know better. there’s no excuse for her abuse towards her children/no excuse ever for abusive parents. and i want to be very clear about how there are NO excuses !!!!!! i am not team walburga and will never ever be team walburga !!!!!
3. walburga was a woman in the 70s, she held no power over orion what so ever. he was the man in the house. the head of the family. the abuse was allowed because quietly sat back and allowed it. absolutely ridiculous to me that walburga would be worse than orion. i simply think its an ignorant and misogynistic take. a silent father will always scare me more than the active abusive mother. like.. the patriarchy in the 70s in pure blood families ? lets be real here
ive seen posts saying orion was scared of walburga and thats why he never did anything. like are we being serious here. no way she got to choose her husband. and he’s a powerful man from a powerful family. in the seventies. why woud he be scared of her she has absolutely no power what so ever
4. i love exploring the womens narrative in the marauders fandom because their canonical narrative is based on sexism and the nuclear family. i guess you think it’s outlandish that effie would fall for walburga (cruel from birth) because shes james’ mother, and the anti walburga in the way she opens up her home and basically adopts sirius and makes a home for him ? to me that’s not interesting sadly :/ i love effiebarty because i get to explore good housewife effie tearing down her walls and acting on her desires and urges. like…. i want her to leave both james and monty behind out of pure selfishness. like.. im the girl writing the baby killing fic where lily is the sole survivor….
5. to me walburga is sort of similar to alicent from house of the dragon. what did she ever do that wasn’t expected of her? she was a girl in the 60/50s in a powerful family and had less choices than either reg or sirius ever did. she didn’t leave like sirius did. she stayed like regulus. and for similar reasons reg stayed probably. and she’s a woman. her sons are more priveliged than she will ever ever be. even disowned sirius is more priveliged than her.
6. i want to be very clear again. i am not a walburga apologist. i think there’s a clear distinction between her child- and adulthood. at some point the abuse becomes a choice. she didn’t break the cycle and she’s bad and rotten woman who abused her children. no excuses !!!!!!!!!! however. it is interesting exploring the circumstances which led to the woman she is
7. to actually answer your question. i dont necessarily care for effie/walburga but i can see the appeal. maybe i’ll get into it we’ll see……. like honestly they wouldn’t be that different from jegulus?
#walburga black#sorry that you came to the defender of problematic women for giggles and all she did was defend problematic women :(
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out of curiosity, what do you think would happen, or be the reaction of clones, if a jedi successfully committed suicide? I know that this is a rather dark topic, but at some point I think that some of the (more force oriented) jedi would just snap, and lose the will to live. Now I imagine that this might be a bit difficult to pull off, since all the clones are such hover mothers, so I also have to ask, how would the surrounding parties be punished? Not only for the clone themself, but for any involved? This would certainly mean execution for the parties, and death for the clone themself, but how would they interrogate the parties for answers? And what of the jedi or the jedi's body afterwards? Will there be a memorial? Would other clones become disillusioned because they see the suffering the jedi go through? Apologies for this being so wordy, but I was very curious as to the answer of this and all of the fine print, as I haven't seen this explored on your blog yet:)
Never apologize for any questions. No matter how long.
I have literally been so horrible at keeping my blog. I havnt posted any real content in months. I've been busy, burnt out, lifes been crazy as of late.
Its alot.
I wanna say this year may be better, but I dont want to make any promises I cant keep.
Ok, so.
Trigger warning:
Suicide, execution, mourning, torture, death, funerals and all over dark themes.
---------------------------------------------------
- there would absolutely be more force oriented jedi who could not stand to be cut off from their abilities.
Even the slightest blockage causes them discomfort, having a cuff utilized long term that almost completely deprived them of their powers would destroy them.
Being driven mad by having their most precious abilities denied, they would resort to ending their lives.
Like the clones. They were raised with an objective.
Protect the jedi.
Protect the galaxy.
Ensure the future of both.
Gifted with these abilities. What were they, what use would they be. If they couldnt use them? If they couldnt partake in this mission?
No.
Much better to give back to the force, in the Hope's their energy. Their powers would be given, lent even, to another. Hopefully a free person who could put their gifts to use.
They do not fear death. It is just another part of the all over cycle.
The force chose them. The force gifted them with however much of its power it deemed nessesary.
And one day. The force would take it back. And the cycle continues.
It must not be broken.
Their lives. Their energy, their everything, was only ever borrowed. It always was meant to be that they would give it back some day.
And if they had to cut their own lives short in order to free themselves from permanent shackles. As well as ensuring the next generation would be born away from this hell, then so be it.
They would do what must be done.
As for their comrades. Their brothers and sisters, friends and family.
Those who chose not to follow. They would pray, in their final moments, that they would some day see freedom again.
That this crime, this decemation of a culture spanning back thousands of years, would not go unfixed. Or unpunished.
-As for how they would do it?
That would be the tricky part.
The clones just live them so much, are so attentive. Did their families. Their loves, their Vod, really think they wouldnt notice how depressed and just.... vacant they had been?
I would think alot of jedi would throw themselves into the sea. Not the easiest way to go, but as long as they can get topside, it's only a matter of throwing themselves down.
Their clone had taken them up for sum rare sunshine. He thought they had been getting better.
More relaxed. Calm. Accepting.
Not fighting anymore.
And should a clone follow to try and help them, it's likely they would die in the rough swells as well, and that's for the better.
-the most dominant danger after a darling commits suicide, isnt other clones, but himself.
He failed. He failed his love, his family. How could he be allowed to keep going knowing this?!
Hed rather decommission himself.
Other clones would sympathize, taking on the mourning clone.
Bringing him into their homes to mourne under their watchful eye. Usually the elder clones, clones who were in a higher position of command would take care of them.
But the sadness never full goes away.
And should that clone eventually move on, find another darling?
There will be no opportunities, no chances, for that darling to slip through his fingers.
I dont beleive the other clones would become wrathful to the trooper who lost his darling, not really.
He did everything he could to protect them.
- when a jedi commits suicide, if they can recover the body, they burn it, though most jedi throw themselves into kaminos waves because they'd rather forgo their funeral rights than be treated in death by the troopers.
Funerals are often a short, but somber event.
The body is burnt with all the jedis possesions, their ashes scattered to the winds after.
There is no wake.
Not officially. Alot of clones and friends of the jedi will often gather in the main mess.
Uncomfortable lunch benches and tables swapped out for more comfortable chairs and couches.
Comfort food is served, and alcohol is drunk in memory of the fallen.
If the lights of kamino went dim for a week post funeral, no one mentioned it.
Theyed lost a family member.
They need to mourn.
And there are some clones who need to think about what they have been doing to the people they claim to love.
- however. There are certain parties not welcome to mourn.
Clones who knowingly endangered another mans darling are easy enough to weed out.
It's one of the few times jedi are allowed to use their abilities with purpose and direction.
Just a little. Just to weed out intentions and lies.
In this scenario, the jedi would also be furious. Actually willingly helping their captors.
Hadnt the clones taken enough?
Did they think it was some sick joke to aid in the death of one of their own?!
Theyed find whoever dis this, and rip the truth out of their minds one memory, one thought at a time if they had to.
They're taken under the city.
Past the clubs, past the halls reserved for adults at night.
They take them deep, deep down under the water. Under the ocean floor.
And they keep them there.
Given much the same treatment as the jedi, except no ones coming to save them. No ones coming to give them time away from their own minds.
Once answers are found, and punishments are dealt (usually a very harsh beating. Getting brought back from the brink, and then beaten again. Rinse and repeat.) They get carted down to these black cells.
Solitary confinement.
No noise, no distractions, no light. Just a pitch black, dead silent cell and a singular food tube that deposits slimy, watery rations all over the floor once a day
Fed too little to survive long term. But just enough so that their starvation will be long.
Long enough for them to go mad.
Long enough for them to scream, to beg for death.
But the clones will not allow it.
He starves.
Slowly.
Drowning in his own piss, shit, mouldy rations and madness.
Once they're dead, the clones topside, who have been watching. Flip a switch and flood the cells with seawater.
Sometimes the clones get impatient.
The first drops are a welcome noise to the imprisoned clone, who laughs madly, clapping and singing with the 'drip, drip, drip'
But as time goes on, he starts to notice.
The drips are getting louder, longer. Closer together.
Water pools at his feet.
It's not draining.
The clones watch as their disgraced kin panics, realizing hes going to drown. Occasionally comming in to let them know how high the water level was.
How much time they may or may not have.
Watching as they squirm and struggle and drown.
The body and all evidence is washed away as the cell soaked in seawater for a week before being drained, leaving not a singular trace of the previous occupant.
It's ready for the next prisoner.
---------------------------------------------------
Okay, so that got a little sad, and a bit dark, but it is actually something I had thought about briefly before.
Hope this reads well, I'm still getting back into writing.
If you have any more requests or asks though, send them through.
My messages are always open too.
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hey queen!! happy to see u back (ur writings really good) *ahem* do you think you could write one-sided pining from far away with iida annnnd maybee shinso? like idk theyve been pining for y/n without them noticing for a long while and theyre tired damnit! maybe theyre a little bit of jelly bellies?? maybe? tsym!!!! feel free to ignore, btw :D
Hello!! Thank you so much for your feedback, i cant tell you how glad i am that my writing is being recieved this way 😩🛐
Theres a little bit of angst and you can see it if you squint really hard but theres a happy ending !!!! :,)
Also- i would a hundred percent do this for shinsou- but im thinking i might save that for a later post so i can fit all the tags i want in and keep them seperate, y know? I hope thats okay <3 <3 <3
Masterlist<3
Iida x Reader
When you had transferred to class 1-A via reccommendation, even if it was a little late, Iida welcomed you with open arms and words of support.
It really didnt take long for him to fall absolutely head over heels for you, however, as he grew to learn more about you.
You were so kind and accepting, and whenever Mina or Denki asked you for help with their studies you would comply with a compassionate smile.
He wanted to talk to you.
He wanted an excuse to speak to you more, and become closer to you. You were perfect for him, and you respected and validated everything he said and felt. He had never felt so seen in his whole life.
So he never realised the growing bud of jealousy hiding away in his heart. Every guy that spoke to you were met with suspicious glances and a possessive, protective Iida. He was like an overbearing puppy.
You found it absolutely adorable how he would blush very faintly as you spoke to him, but you never realised that it was because the gullible idiot was in love with you.
He was serious about you as well. He imagined a future with you. So, the next time he would catch you walking out of the classroom last, or wandering around on your own, he planned to confess to you.
He was obsessed with that you would tie up your hair in a cute little ponytail, or cover your mouth when you were eating, or tilt your head when you were confused about something. The navy haired boy couldnt help but study your mannerisms like you were an art piece on display.
So when he saw you talking to Todoroki the next day, giggling and blushing and standing awefully clise to him, naturally he was distraught.
You didnt even realise that he had seen you, so when Iida suddenly becomes much more distant it actually kind of worries you. Had you offended him? Was it something you said?
The next time you find yourself face to face with Iida, he looks at you in shock and you notice how his eyes dart about awkwardly, almost as if he was looking for an escape. It was definately something you said, you decided.
"Iida, i was- uh-... i wanted to ask you... why have you been avoiding me?"
You were genuinely worried that you'd lost a friend, because what friend suddenly starts acting like you don't exist? And suddenly you're tearing up, big, bright eyes suddenly going glassy and overflowing with salty tears.
The poor boy almost has a heart attack.
He was only trying to put some distance between you so that his feelings wouldn't affect the relationship that you had going on with Todoroki.
But now, you were ceying in front of him and he realises now, that his actions had driven a bigger rift between the two of you than he had thought.
"Y-you won't talk to me anymore! And i'm- i'm so worried that i've lost you as a friend! Please-! Was it something I said? Just- just tell me where i went wrong- please-! Iida i'm so very sorry-"
In his head he berates himself, because in his selfish act of pushing you away, he jeopardised your friendship and trust and became the cause of emotional turmoil. He was absolutely in the wrong here! This behavour is not becoming of a future hero- what kind of saviour makes a woman cry? As a representative of class 1-A and some of the most promising young heroes, he should be ashamed, and he owes you an apology!
But more important than that, is the sting in his heart and the lump in his throat that tell him no matter who he is- hero or not- he has hurt his friend as a result of his stupidity. And it's frustrating. It feels bad. Genuinely bad.
It's a crushing guilt that weighs down his shoulders as he sees you breaking down and furiously wiping your tears away. The dejected feeling of having upset and caused distress to someone so dear to him.
He feels absolutely gutted, and his heart drops to his stomach.
In silence he pulls you closer, giving you a gentle embrace to let you know that everything is okay, before pulling back and bowing about as low as the gravel at his feet will allow him to.
"Please, (-), allow my to offer you my most sincere apology! Even I know that it is not enough to right my wrong, but it is all i can offer you, along with the explanation that you deserve!
You see, I had distanced myself from you because I had unknowingly fallen in love with you, however I did not wish to put any strain on your relationship with Todoroki. To do so would be incredibly unbecoming of a friend and future hero representing our class 1-A.
However, I did not realise that this would jeopardise our friendship the way it has, or bring you such emotional turmoil. To not think about the consequences of my actions was childish and immature of me! Please allow me your forgiveness!"
By now your tears had stopped and you were dizzy with the unexpected embrace and detailed, sincere apology, only one thought really striking you.
"My-... my relationship? With... Todoroki??..."
You have always been, and remain to be single.
As single as the lost sock down the side of the bed.
As single as a thirty-five year old man called graham.
As single as the third wheel on a tricycle.
Oops.
It's then when it dawns upon Iida just how stupid, and head- over- engines in love he was. He had just assumed you were both in a relationship. How absolutely silly of him.
"I see now... This was all a misunderstanding, then, i presume?
Well, i must say this is a touch embarrassing. I will do better to not assume such things in the future! To not learn from such an elementary mistake would be-"
You quickly cut off that bullshit with a kiss, unable to keep yourself from giggling at his antics. He's a genuinely stand- up guy, and you would love to get to know him more, after all, he actually knows how and when to apologise unlike most men.
#iida x reader#iida tenya#tenya iida imagine#boku no hero academia tenya#tenya headcanons#tenya x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader
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i cant explain the ocean to you.
i cant describe its unfathomable vastness,
there arent any words for its foreign beauty,
its unbridled rage,
its infinite complexity and intricacy.
went on a walk about a week ago,
along the (australian) coastline.
all i could think about were these unexplainable qualities – the beauty of the sea.
the way the tiny droplets of water spray in a million different directions as it crashes into the cliffs.
the force of the blowholes.
the calmness of that beach, covered in stones and littered with conch shells.
standing next to the ocean feels like how i imagine an ant would feel next to me.
and i know its hard to understand this vastness, this beauty that i speak of, many never will. i didnt for most of my life.
many people havent even seen the ocean in real life.
only stories
only pictures
only what other people say about it
in a way, i relate to the ocean.
does it too, only want to be left alone?
// the end.
hello, im melody (she/her)
if you havent guessed (id be surprised if you had), this is about being trans
ive been wanting to write this, whatever it is, since that walk. i think the title is "to explain a foreign complexity" (i forgot to add this before and the reference two lines down made no sense)
originally i was going to make the subject of this explicitly clear, but i think this is better.
anyway, doing so would be trying to explain a foreign complexity, wouldnt it?
i cant really compare transness to anything, but for some reason seeing the ocean on that walk made me think of it
it made me think of how tiny i am in comparison to the ocean
which, in turn, made me think about how my girlfriend doesnt understand dysphoria, but she still tries
in the same way i cant explain myself and my identity, what its like to be trans, in that moment i couldnt find the words to describe what was in front of me
if you liked this, please reblog it, i want others to see this
drop a follow if you want, but dont expect me to post anything like this again (its possible, but i wouldnt rely on it)
thats all.
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sO. I've seen like a million different theories on why Miguel's universe collapsed and this entire time I've just been like "I thought it was because he replaced his dead self???" Like. There were 2 Miguels in one universe. Obviously nothing good can come from that. Also where'd he hide the body???? and what were his killers thinking when they saw bro up and at it again like nothing happened??? And- kay I'll shut up about this but I really wanna rant about some time
Idk anymore maybe I'm underthinking things???? What're your thoughts?
hi! im sorry i didnt answer this earlier, i was very busy today
im gonna cut the post here because ill be talking a lot
first of all, i see your point, and this confuses me a lot too. but after watching the movie 13 times and thinking about it 24/7, i have literally no idea how that universe collapsed. i mean, if it collapsed because there were two miguels in the same universe, why didnt miles' universe collapse too, since in itsv there were 4 peters in 1610? (peter b, noir, porker and the blond dead one). they were there for a while, and the only time that the dimension almost collapsed was when kingpin activated the collider. i have some theories, but i havent looked into it a lot;
1. maybe it had something to do with the canon? if its real, which i very much doubt, then miguels death in that universe was a canon event and gabriela was supposed to grow up without a father, and miguel going there stopped that from happening, so the univese self-destructed. *if* the canon is real, of course
2. i think the multiverse is some type of conscious. like, miguel saying "theres no problem with me going there, nothings going to happen" made something happen just because miguel had to be proven wrong. or maybe to teach him a lesson to not invade other dimensions? some type of karma
also, yes, the whole thing is creepy as hell, because he definitely did something with the body so he could replace miguel 2.0 without anyone knowing, and a lot of people must have been confused, and because of what you said, like "bro isnt that the guy we killed the other day" and also because imagine one day your husband comes home and his eyes are more red and he has fangs and he forgets things? its giving skinwalker, tbh
im just as confused about this as you are, and sorry i couldnt give a straight answer. i hope well find some things out in btsv (when it comes out in 3726). also, you can rant as much as you want, i love listening to people talk, especially when its about atsv 🫶🏻
#i had to put my thoughts into words for this and it was trickyyy#thanks for the ask btw !#this was fun and i like talking about my theories#and i have a lot of em#dont let me start talking ill yap your ears off#🫶🏻#atsv#selene core
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Umm,,ive actually nevre posted or made a comment on anything so im not sure how this works exactly soo...🧍♀️
I KNOW THE ART IS BAD BUT UR FIC NEEDS TO BE MORE POPULAR!!!I H8 WHEN PEOPLE DONT READ FANFICS JUST CUZ THEIR X READER SOME OF MY FAVORITE FANFICS ARE X READER AND THIS IS ON THE TOP OF THE LIST!!IVE REREAD THIS MULTIPLE TIMES AND CANNOT GET OVER HOW AMAZING THE WRITER IS UR SOO TALENTED AND I AGRHGG
-p.s my phys is non binary even if they dont look like it,i was originally gonna make them a 5'8 male but i was like "what if they were a pathetic wet cat" now i have this,also sorry for the sudden cursive im just more used to it than print!!^_^
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!I <3 U AND UR FIC MOTHER VENUS!!
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WAAHGHGHSGSGSG I ALMOST THOUGHT I DREAMED THIS HELLO . HELLO IM RECEPTIVE AND LOOKING. your phys is simply beautiful i am looking and staring. pathetic wet cat phys realness btw , i think 5'8 male phys would've been super cool ( especially bc there are less male phys' from what ive seen ) HOWEVER this design still goes so fucking hard. i really REALLY like the hints of purple in their design!!! is that a reference to ouma or did you just do it bc purple looks pretty ? :o either way valid .
also very much enjoying how kind of torn up and tormented they look . their expression is so sad :< patting them on the head . and the rips in their jumpsuit and bandages and messy hair ( love the ahoge btw !!!! ) i really like the random straps on their legs and arms kind of looking like theyre physically holding phys together .. idk . also heterochromia win!!! i was going to give my recent redesign heterochromia but i didnt want the design to look too busy . it looks absolutely fantastic on your one though!!!!
amami painting phys' nails before he died is such a sweet idea ogh my god i kind of wish i did that fr :( imagine the paint slowly chipping as the game goes on and phys sometimes noticing it, particularly after a pivotal moment .. you could do some real cool symbolism with that ( like , maybe use it as a vehicle for phys' guilt; when they feel guilty abt distancing themselves from their classmates, the nail polish chips more, bringing them 'further from amami' ) MAN idk that's a really really neat idea.
love the silly little textposts . im such a big sucker for those and i make my own in my spare time and they kinda clog up my camera roll lmfao . THE LAST ONE ABT WRITING A LIST though thats so phys-coded im shocked it actually exists!!! how did u find that omg . anyway if you couldnt tell im a huge huge fan of this . does your phys' name have a particular meaning behind it btw ? :o
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS IM STILL GIDDY ABT IT. your artstyle is so pretty and you are genuinely so talented and i am so happy to see your rendition of phys :') theyre absolutely lovely and you did them so well. i hope you're having a lovely day <3
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