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gurugirl · 4 months

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Can We Start Over | Ch. 4 The Exit Strategy

Series Summary: From the first day you and Harry meet, your relationship is beyond complicated. A one night stand leads to hurt feelings and then a job opportunity that you simply can't pass up is offered. But can you handle working for a man like him? rich!harry x plus size!reader | enemies to lovers

A/N: This is a 5 part series commissioned by @justfattiethings (thank you hon!).

Chapter 4. Summary: It's hard for Harry to overcome not feeling a bit hurt after you left him the way you did but there are bigger issues you need to tackle, like the fact that Harry's doing something shady as well as figuring out how you feel about him.

Word Count: 9k

Warning: 18+ only, feelings of confusion and turmoil, angst, illegal dealings

Can We Start Over? masterlist

Harry woke up alone in your hotel room. He sat up and rubbed his hand over his chest and he couldn’t help but smile thinking about what had happened the night before.

But he couldn’t figure out exactly where you’d gone. He peeked into your bathroom and then stepped into his room, “Y/n?” You were nowhere to be seen. The smile he wore fell when he realized you weren’t there. Perhaps you’d just stepped out for a moment? But why? Harry looked at the clock to see it was only just past 7 am. For coffee perhaps?

Harry slid on a pair of pants and the shirt he wore the night before as he found his shoes and his key card. He figured he’d go find you. Something told him you hadn’t simply stepped out to grab a coffee.

“Y/n?” You quickly turned and saw Harry heading toward you. You’d been sitting in the lobby looking out the window. It was rainy. You’d planned on a walk but weren’t too fond of getting yourself all wet just so you could go through your existential crisis outside.

Standing up from your spot you gave him a weak smile.

“What are you doing? Is everything okay?” Harry stood in front of you and dropped his eyes over your frame. He looked frazzled. His shirt was mostly left unbuttoned and his hair was a mess. But the way he seemed worried had you suddenly feeling bad for the way you left him. But it wasn’t like you could stay either.

“I uh…” you scratched at your neck and frowned, “Needed some air. Needed to think about last night.”

“Okay. But did I do something wrong?”

You blinked your eyes and looked toward the front desk where someone had approached reception before looking back at him, “No, you didn’t. I woke up and realized… it didn’t feel right.”

Harry stood with his mouth agape for a moment before he began to shake his head, “Let’s go back up to the room to talk. We can’t do this here.”

You nodded, “Okay.”

He had turned around before you could even get out a response. He could tell by your demeanor what was going on. You regretted it. And now he felt like shit. He braced himself mentally for you to reject him.

The silence on the way up to your room was loud. Harry had his arms crossed over his chest as he kept his eyes down. He was clearly going over in his mind what had gone wrong.

And you figured maybe he’d give you the silent treatment once you got into your room but the moment the door was closed behind you he started, “Did I do something wrong, Y/n? Tell me the truth.”

You shook your head and looked at his face, “No. Of course not. I wanted it. I just…” you sighed and sat down in the chair by the window. Your head was fuzzy. Not only had you gotten little sleep everything with Harry was confusing. Your feelings surrounding him didn’t make any sense.

“You just what?” He leaned his back into the wall across from you and crossed his arms over his chest again. Now he looked like he was becoming angry.

“I feel like that was a big mistake. I should have known better than to do that.”

“Are you serious? You felt like that was a mistake?” He gestured with his arm before tucking it back against his chest.

Nodding you put your palms on your thighs and looked down, “It just can’t happen ever again. We shouldn’t have done it. I regret it.”

There it was. Harry pushed himself off the wall and laughed as he shook his head, “Wow. Okay. I asked you if you wanted it. If you were comfortable… But now you’re telling me it was a mistake? How do you think this makes me feel? Waking up alone thinking I was gonna have you there with me in bed. Really thought you were okay with it. Fuck…”

You watched him pace the room, “Last night I wanted it. I just… I woke up and felt like this shouldn’t have happened.”

Harry nodded and put his hands on his hips as he watched the floor, “Fine. You win. This back and forth between us,” he looked at you, “No more. That’s why I was cold toward you, and kept you at a distance, Y/n because it’s easier for me to be that way. The moment you wanted us to be amicable… I tried. But I hear you now. Loud and clear.”

Needless to say, the flight back was like torture. Harry hardly spoke to you and he certainly didn’t look at you. You had to jog to keep up with him half the time. Part of you was worried that he’d have the driver leave without you when he was already outside at the car and you were struggling with your suitcase which had lost one of its wheels somehow.

He finally did speak to you when you arrived at his home, “You’re free to do as you please today. No work. I’m gonna go out. We’ll get back to it in the morning.”

And that was it. You didn’t see him after he went to his room and you didn’t hear him leave but you knew he did.

“We had sex.” You called Brandy as you walked around in the back garden, after making sure you were totally alone and no one could overhear you.

“I knew you would, he–“

“No. It’s not like, Brandy. I hate that I did. I feel awful. I feel like I disrespected myself for it. What he did to me? That first night? How can I even feel attraction toward him? Sure he apologized and I understand what happened, but the fact remains, he treated me like garbage.”

“Y/n, don’t beat yourself up. You’re only human. And you two do have a connection, even if it’s small. He likes you. But it’s okay to not do it again. You still have a job right?”

You sighed, “Yeah. I don’t think he’ll fire me but… I don’t know if I can handle working for him anymore. What if something happens again? I’m just gonna keep feeling bad and Harry’s gonna get mad. Like now. He’s pissed.”

“Why is he pissed?”

“Because he woke up and I wasn’t there and told him it was a mistake so now he feels responsible I guess. I don’t know. He’s not really been talking to me since I told him I regret it.”

There was silence from Brandy for a beat as you sat on the bench under the trees at the far end of the garden.

“Was it good at least?”

You rolled your eyes, “Brandy…” you said in warning.

“Hey. I’m your best friend. You don’t have to act all high and mighty with me. You had sex with him again. Was it good? Like, at least if it was good then you can walk away knowing you had one last good time.”

“Of course it was. He’s good. But that’s really not the point, Brandy.”

“I know it’s not the point. I’m trying to get details from you is all. I’m nosey and what can even I say to make you feel better anyway? I feel like sometimes you take yourself way too seriously, Y/n. It could be good to lighten up a little. I know this feels like a big deal to you. I get it. I’m here to listen but there’s nothing anyone can say to you or anything you can do to reverse what happened. I’m here for you but truly. You could just calm down a little. Lighten up a touch.”

“Lighten up? Are you saying this is somehow my fault?”

“I didn’t say that. Why does this have to be anyone’s fault? Why point fingers? Shit happens. Why do you always need someone to blame?”

You sighed and closed your eyes, “I know. I like things neatly categorized and this is so not neat or categorized… I just feel like since I don’t know where to put this feeling it has to have a reason. But you’re right. The reason is just that…”

“Is just that you’re human and you gave in to a very human need. So did he. You both did nothing wrong in this case. I mean, maybe not the best idea to sleep with your boss, but like…” she laughed.

“Yeah, that’s another thing that’s hard for me to wrap my mind around. I slept with my boss. How do I go from here?”

Brandy chuckled into the receiver, “God you’re so dramatic, Y/n. I love you but you take shit way too seriously sometimes. Some things don’t need to be explained. Okay? Now you’ve got what you want, right? He’s probably not going to be flirty with you anymore after this since you told him it was a mistake. No more sex with the boss.”

You and Brandy were pretty much opposites when it came to personalities. She was light-hearted and went with the flow, while you were serious and liked order. You knew she was too light-hearted at times, though. Some things were serious and did need explanations so you could learn from them and never do it again.

But sometimes she was right. She had a good point about this issue. What could be done? You’d told Harry your feelings about sleeping with him again and even if it did hurt his feelings or make him mad you did what you felt was right for yourself. And that was that. What more could you do?

. . .

Harry walked through his front door sweaty after his run. It was 8:30 am. Your mornings usually started at 8. When you’d gone into his office and he wasn’t there you set up your laptop and then went down to the kitchen to get coffee.

It was unlike him. Normally he was ready for the day before you’d even woken up.

You watched him walk past you, not a single word as he went upstairs where you imagined he would go shower and then he’d join you in his office after he was done.

Except he didn’t go into his office. You were sat in your usual spot and responding to a couple of emails before you saw one from him.

Book two business class seats (not together) to Buenos Aires for the Friday after next, returning Sunday. See the attached for the email of the person we’ll be meeting and book the hotel he recommended. Set up our meetings and get the wire information from him in advance. Send to me before finalizing anything so I can look it over.

You frowned at this. You didn’t like that he was emailing you rather than speaking to you. You didn’t want him angry with you but you supposed this might be better than him being too friendly.

Harry’s attitude the rest of the week was the same. He only spoke to you when it was absolutely necessary. Not once did you find his gaze on you. No smiles or laughing. Nothing.

You hadn’t expected him to be so cold with you. You figured the boundaries you were placing with him were good ones. That he’d come around and understand why they needed to be established.

But instead of him being nice to you and having evening chats in his kitchen after Carl left and getting to know him slowly, he was completely shut off. You could say that he was being professional with you. Which was what you wanted.

Not like this, though. Not with barely a glance or a friendly smile. Not a single dimple showed itself to you over the next weeks.

And now here you were with him in Argentina where you should be enjoying red wine and empanadas but instead, you were sitting quietly while he conducted his meeting with the seller.

You said no to wine. It didn’t feel right. He didn’t push you. In fact, you heard him let out an annoyed short laugh and a mumbled suit yourself.

The man you were meeting with had a small stone sculpture that was considered an ancient artifact. You didn’t know how it was that he procured the item but it seemed like something that should have been in a museum. You did learn that many years ago it was considered stolen or lost. That didn’t sit well with you.

And when you tried to confront Harry about that he said nothing. He did look at you. His severe gaze sliced into you before he looked back at his computer and continued doing whatever it was.

You wanted to ask more questions. The man wasn’t even a gallery owner or someone from whom you’d normally buy art. The whole thing was shady. Something was off and Harry was giving you nothing.

But when you heard the price tag of the item you coughed and your eyes widened. The three of you were in a small dark room with shelves and boxes and the sculpture was sitting on a table under a light as Harry carefully inspected it.

“It’s legit. This is the real thing. I’ll let you look this over,” the man handed Harry a manila folder, “…you can see the paper trail. Where it stops. The timeline matches up. I’ll give you three hours to make a decision but after that, I have to move it to a safer location. I hope you understand the time constraint.”

You and Harry left the building, in silence as became your norm, and got into the car to head back to the hotel.

You watched Harry look through the paperwork and check the provenance but you knew this item was not going to have everything in place since it seemed it had been lost for some time. Big red flag. Perhaps this was what made Harry the kind of money he had. Dealing with lost or stolen artifacts was big money and definitely illegal. He had told you that he never did anything illegal.

Back at the hotel, Harry pointed, “Meet me in my room. Get your laptop. We have some work to do if we want to make this deal in the next three hours.”

You felt nervous. Felt sick to your stomach. Something was amiss about this whole deal and you didn’t like it. You weren’t sure you wanted to be involved at all.

When you got to Harry’s room he was on the phone with someone, “I saw it in person. It’s real. They are asking 2 but I can talk them down to 1.7. From there you and I can discuss what you’re willing to pay me but with the risk I’m taking I’d want a minimum of 2.5.”

He was discussing money. And you knew he was talking millions. The risk was that it was something that should not be on the market to purchase.

You waited for him to get off the phone before you spoke up, “Is this an illegal transaction?”

Harry looked down at his cell phone and typed something in before looking at you, unaffected, “No. I told you. Nothing I do is technically illegal.”

“I don’t want this to come back to bite me. If I’m involved in this and something happens? I could be linked somehow and I don’t –“

“Nothing is going to happen other than a huge payout. Just do your job, Y/n. I need you to find everything you can about this,” he clicked his phone and looked back at you, “Just sent it to your email. Look through everything and compare it to the photos I attached. Go down the checklist attached and make notes. The item had some damage and I need to get his rate down so my client will be happy with the price.”

You got to work. Even if you were hesitant a bit, you didn’t want to disappoint Harry. He was your boss above all. And you were stuck in Argentina with him.

But the more you learned the worse it was. The item had been stolen during World War II. Now that was a long time ago but still. You understood why what Harry was doing wasn’t “technically” illegal. Because the client would be the one wiring the full amount and from there, Harry would meet in person with the client to get his cut once you got back to the U.S and he handed the item over to them. It was illegal but it wouldn’t come back to Harry. His name wouldn’t be associated with the transaction.

When you’d given Harry everything you found he seemed pleased.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” You said as you stood in front of him as he looked over the provenance and your findings.

“And what do you suggest? Just walk away? You do realize your salary is based on how much money I make, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah but if it’s illegal then I don’t want to be part of this. And Harry, this is illegal. Maybe your name isn’t on anything but this whole thing is–“

“Stop! I already lost out on the last big deal because of you and I’m not doing it anymore. You’re nothing but an employee to me, Y/n. That’s what you wanted so that’s what you’ll get.” He made it a point to remind you that his behavior was your fault.

You dropped your mouth open and felt your heart drop. He blamed you for the failed deal with Hallie? You didn’t know what to say. It made you feel awful. You felt the sting of tears in your eyes as you looked down and turned away from him so he couldn’t see what his words had done to you.

“Now let’s get ready. Meet me in the lobby in thirty minutes.”

You stayed quiet during the whole thing, which seemed to be your new norm. You didn’t even look at Harry. You wouldn’t. You tried to get over the hurt feelings you had but that turned into anger. You were feeling mad. He was a true asshole and you were glad you had that clarity now. No more feeling bad for hurting his feelings. He was probably faking his feelings anyway.

After the deal was done you both went back to the hotel together but Harry left to get dinner. Alone. You ordered room service.

And you weren’t going to be drinking anymore. Not while you were anywhere near Harry. If there was even a chance you’d see him you’d not be drinking. That seemed to make you forgive him too quickly and you didn’t want to forget about how angry you were with him.

. . .

Nothing changed even when you got back to the U.S. Harry hardly spoke to you unless it had something to do with work. He didn’t even ask you to get his lunches from Carl anymore. And if you saw him in the kitchen late at night you’d just turn around and walk away. You didn’t have anything to say to him.

You sucked it all up, though. The money he was paying you was good. Very good. But you weren’t sure how much longer you could last. You could only be his punching bag for so long.

Every morning you would get your coffee and Harry’s for him as well before bringing it into his office to begin your day. That morning was like every other morning. Or at least you thought it was.

“Y/n can you close the door behind you? We need to talk about something private.”

You paused at the door and as you looked at Harry behind his big desk you took your foot to gently shut the door since your hands were full.

Placing Harry’s mug down on his desk you sat down in your usual spot and waited for him to speak.

He sat back in his chair and turned to look at you, his expression unreadable, “I need you to sign this,” he slid a piece of paper across his desk toward you, “It’s a confidentiality agreement. I should have had you sign it when I first brought you on but… Well, now’s a good time I think.”

You picked up the paper and looked it over. An NDA. He wanted you to keep your mouth shut about the illegal things he was doing. And you were sure this was his plan all along. To hire you, give you a taste of that big fat salary and the kind of lifestyle he paid for you to enjoy, and then hit you with this.

“Why would I sign this? It only protects you?”

Harry reached for his coffee and took a sip before responding, “Because I’m telling you to sign it. Because I’m your boss. Because I need you to keep quiet about what you’ve seen if you’re going to work for me.”

You shook your head and sat the paper down on his desk before picking up your coffee mug and sipping it slowly then taking a deep breath for what you were about to tell this asshole, “I’m not signing it. You either trust me or you don’t. And if you don’t then I’ll leave right now and you can find someone else to be your bitch. I’m not someone you can just walk all over. I’m not taking the fall for you ever.”

“Is this really how it’s going to be? You’re willing to walk away from this job because of an NDA?”

You nodded, “Absolutely. It’s an insult to me and my character. I take this job seriously and you know that. This is you trying to exert your power over me and I’m not falling for it.”

Harry stood up from his desk and walked to his window with his back to you as you stayed seated comfortably and took another drink of your coffee.

On the outside, you appeared calm but on the inside, you were freaking out. This could be it. You would probably be losing your job now that you were taking a stand against Harry.

“I didn’t want it to be like this, Y/n. I thought maybe you’d understand the need for this agreement,” he turned toward you and walked to his desk, putting his palms down on the wood with his eyes on you, “Sign it. Please.”

You laughed and sat your mug down before standing up from your chair, “No.”

Harry rubbed his hands over his face, “God damnit!” He paced toward his bookshelf and back, “I need you to sign that. I’m gonna be honest here and say I don’t want to have to find anyone to replace you. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m not signing it, Harry. I already told you that if you feel like you can’t trust me at my word I’m out.”

Harry rounded the desk and stood in front of you, “I trust you but this,” he pointed at the document, “needs to get signed.”

Shaking your head you let out an incredulous laugh, “You know what? I don’t need any of this. You and your shady deals… the way you treat me–“

“How do I treat you? Hm?” He blocked you from stepping away from him.

You swallowed, “You’re not nice. Just because I felt uncomfortable after we had sex, you got your ego hurt or whatever and so you’re taking it out on me and… acting like I did something wrong.”

“I’m treating you the way you want to be treated, Y/n. This is exactly what you wanted. Is it not? Because you know what’s going to happen if we get too friendly again. So it’s this or the alternative.”

You tried to step to the side and move around him but he followed, staying directly in your path, “You’re not leaving this room until you sign that,” he pointed at his desk as his eyes bore into you.

“You can’t make me sign that, Harry. You have no power over this situation and you know it.”

“I don’t want to fire you, Y/n. Please just sign it.” He sounded defeated.

You pushed at his arm lightly to get him to move out of your way but he wrapped his hands under your forearms to hold you in place, “Y/n, look at me.”

You huffed and looked up at him, held in place by his hands and speaking through clenched teeth, “What?”

“I need this from you. Okay? It’s me. You can trust me. I know you know that. I might not be the nicest person to you but that’s just so we can maintain a professional relationship like you want. Please, Y/n.”

You couldn't understand why it was so important to him. If he trusted you he wouldn’t need it. But he did seem desperate.

“I can’t sign that. That’s incriminating to me if anything were to ever get out. My signature with a promise of silence? No. No way.”

Harry looked up at the ceiling and groaned before he looked back down at you his hands moving up to your upper arms, holding you still, “I’ll give you a raise. I’ll make it worth your while, Y/n. What do you want from me? What will it take to get you to sign it?”

You pulled your brows together and shook your head, “There’s nothing you can do to get me to sign that, Harry. This is a matter of trust. And it’s an insult. Another fucking insult from you.”

“No. It’s not an insult. It’s not personal. I trust you. I do. I swear.”

“Then you don’t need that do you?”

He was standing too close and his fingers were digging into your shirt over your skin and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. You noticed the stubble along his jaw and the darker patch of growth above his lip. Normally he was quite clean-shaven. Sometimes he’d let it go for a few days and you had to admit, you kind of liked the overgrown, unkempt look.

“Y/n,” he closed his eyes and you saw him clench his jaw before he looked back down at you, stepping in closer, “I… fine. You don’t have to sign it today. I can’t lose you or have you walk out on me. If we can trust each other then we can make this work. Will you take some time to at least consider signing it?”

You sighed and looked down at his shirt for an escape from his gaze, “I don’t know. I don’t think I can ever sign that.”

He released one of your arms and put his hand on your chin, pushing your eyes back up to his, “Just don’t walk out, okay? I’m worried you’re gonna quit and I’m gonna be fucked without you.”

You hated that you loved his hands on you. All it took was his nearness and his soft eyes looking into yours. But you didn't know how to respond exactly. You were glad he wasn’t going to make you sign it, yet. But how long did you have before he was badgering you about it again? You were still going to say no.

“If you trust me, you don’t need my signature on that document. I’ll never put pen to that paper, Harry.”

“Y/n…” his voice came out in a whisper as he moved his other hand up to your face, his thumb at your temple, “I just want to know you’ll stay. Forget the document right now.”

Even though you knew what was happening you couldn’t figure out why you weren’t trying to stop it. Why you weren’t pushing him away and telling him to keep his hands to himself.

“I’m here right now aren’t I?” You whispered back to him and suddenly your hands were on his forearms as he cupped your face in his hands and everything around you turned into a blur when his mouth found yours.

Your heart pumped violently in your chest as you slid your hands up to the back of his head and you felt yourself being moved to his desk, your bottom hitting the wood as he leaned over you and moaned when he felt your tongue against his.

You felt a notebook slip off the desk and something metal tipped over, hitting the wood. Everything was happening so fast.

Harry placed one palm down on the desk as his other hand held the back of your head, his tongue and mouth were instantaneous, urgent. You felt like a wilted flower about to blossom.

And you felt his desperation because you were experiencing it just the same. You both breathed in through your noses for oxygen as your lips slid together wetly. He was overpowering your senses but it was welcome in that instant. His scent, his weight against you, the stubble on his face scraping your soft skin.

His nose turned into yours and pushed your head to the side as he lowered his mouth down to your jaw. Wet, hot presses of his lips and licks of his tongue had you letting out a shaky moan as you clung to him tightly.

When he grazed his lips over your neck and sucked gently on your skin before lapping over the tiny bruise you felt his mouth lower to your sweet spot. That one little sensitive area that had your entire body igniting with need, your figurative wilted petals being nourished and opening up, seeking the sun and water and breeze.

“Don’t leave me, please,” he whispered into your neck between kisses and you stuffed your fingers into his hair.

Everything was spinning and disintegrating around you as his lips were ravaging your neck and up to your jaw again.

“Tell me you're not gonna leave me,” he pressed his mouth against yours, “Please, Y/n.”

The kisses slowed down, your mouths moving gently together, tongues softly poking out and retreating until you parted from the kiss, pushing at his chest so you could sit up.

And when his lips weren’t urgent against yours you felt the heavy realization of what had just happened crumble around you. You didn’t understand why you didn’t stop it at once, why you let it happen in the first place. Your brain new better. Your heart could not be trusted.

Your chest heaved as you looked at Harry, your hands still on his chest, “We can’t do this…”

Harry put his hands over yours, unmoving from his spot so close to you, “We can. There’s no reason to pretend there isn’t something here, Y/n.”

You watched his chest rise and fall and his kiss-swollen lips mouth the word please. You couldn’t hear him say it but you knew he said it.

Shaking your head you pushed him away and stood up, dizzy and flustered as you ran to the door to leave. For breath. For distance.

“Y/n wait!” Harry ran after you. “Please!”

You went to your room and stuffed your bag with things you’d need (for what? You weren’t sure at that moment) as Harry watched you from your door, “Y/n. Where are you going?”

You cleared your throat and looked at him. Which you immediately regretted. He looked heartbroken, “I need some air. I have to get out of here. I’m sorry,” your words were rushed as your hands trembled with the items you collected to bring with you.

Harry watched in dismay as you picked up your keys and walked past him before he reached for your elbow to stop you, “That’s fine. If you need to think. Just… come back to me okay?”

You couldn’t look at him as he said it and you didn’t respond as you walked down the stairs and out the door.

It was all too much for you. Reconciling what you knew you should have done and what actually was happening didn’t synch up. It didn’t make sense. You couldn’t stay there with him any longer.

. . .

Harry thought you’d return that evening after cooling off. He had a whole speech prepared for you. An apology, a confession… The NDA was because he was worried you were going to quit and that you might wind up saying something about what you’d seen.

But that had been stupid of him to try and get you to sign it. And you were right. It was a power move in a way. He wanted you to know who was in charge and put you in your place because he was so frustrated at how you’d regretted something that he longed for. Something he wanted. He’d wanted it so badly and then he had it… until you took that away from him. So this was vindication on some level. Vindication for the blow to his ego. To his heart. But that wasn’t fair to you.

When you didn’t come home he decided to give you space. Surely you’d be at work in the morning at 8 am. You just needed time.

But at 8:15 the following morning when you still hadn’t even so much as called he realized you may have needed more than just air. And that was concerning.

He called you and left a voicemail. And waited. And waited. You didn’t call back.

So he texted you later in the day after working a little (but he could hardly think of anything but you) but the response was the same. Radio silence.

Now Harry didn’t like being in serious relationships and didn’t like people invading his space or having someone clinging to him or wanting his attention or relying on him to be their emotional support in any way but his heart squeezed painfully in his chest when he thought about you and how much he enjoyed your company. It hurt to know that you weren’t feeling the same kind of connection he was feeling. It stung that he’d given a little bit of himself to you, whether you knew it or not, but that you rejected it. You didn’t want it.

He'd give you another day before he came knocking on your door to find out what was going on. One more sleepless night to let you come to your senses.

. . .

“Look, I know you, Y/n. You do this. Anytime someone gets close to you, you brush it off like it didn’t exist. When your dad tried to come back into your life last year? How he wanted to see you and make up for all that lost time?”

You shook your head, “That’s different.”

“No, it’s not. You run away from your problems when you can’t contain things in one neat and tidy box. And your relationship with Harry was never neat and tidy. So you’re pretending he doesn’t exist.”

You bit your lip and looked away from Brandy. You knew she was right in some ways. You couldn’t handle messy. Anything to do with your emotions that you couldn’t settle up in your head seamlessly you wanted nothing to do with.

And you couldn’t settle your heart and your head when it came to Harry.

“At least call him and tell him you don’t want to work for him anymore. I mean look at these texts, Y/n…” She held your phone out to you but you turned away. You couldn’t look. She’d read them to you already. You knew what they said. “He’s worried about you. All he’s asking is for you two to talk.”

Shaking your head you stood up from her couch, “I’m not talking to him. I’ll let the agency do it. I’m emailing Monica to tell her I need to be matched for something else.”

Brandy watching you grab your laptop from your bag and shoot off the email.

“I think it’s a mistake to quit.”

“Why would this be a mistake? Even if he was the nicest guy on earth, we can’t work professionally together. He can’t be my boss when we’re unable to stop from kissing in the middle of a disagreement or having sex on a work trip.”

You were leaving out the fact that he’d been up to something shady. Illegal. You decided you’d wait to reveal that to Brandy once everything blew over. As much as you hated that Harry was conducting business the way he was, you didn’t want him to get into trouble. Not that you ever thought Brandy would go off to the police or anything. It just felt better to keep that knowledge to yourself for a while.

“Okay. Fair enough. But you two have something. Why would you throw that away?”

“Because we don’t actually have something, Brandy. His judgment is clouded because I work for him and he likes that power, and that’s what turns him on. I’m easy access and forbidden. He doesn’t actually like me like that. And I guarantee the moment he learns I’ve quit he’s going to forget all about me.”

Brandy laughed, “You have to stop thinking that men don’t like you. You have to stop feeling like no one would ever find you attractive or that when they’re flirting with you that they aren’t. You always push that notion away but it’s crazy! It’s okay to admit when a man likes you back, Y/n. It’s okay to let that happen.”

You weren’t buying it. Men, as a rule, didn’t find you pretty. Not really. Not pretty enough to fall for. You were the safe girl for men to be around when they liked someone else. There would never be any confusion about that kind of thing. Not from you, not from anyone looking in from the outside.

Except Brandy of course. Always the optimist. You wonder what she’d say if she knew the whole truth about him.

. . .

Harry had it all planned out. He was going to buy you flowers and bring those special decadent chocolates from the chocolatier he learned you loved and beg for you to forgive him, or whatever it was that needed to be done. He was going to tear up the NDA in front of you so you knew he trusted you without a doubt. Confess his feelings to you once and for all. No more playing coy with you. He was going to win you over. Whatever it took.

And it was crazy that he was suddenly feeling such despair at the thought of losing you. He knew he was developing feelings for you. It was easy to fall for you with your spunk and your take-no-shit attitude, your adorable smile, your sexy mouth… there were countless things about you that he couldn’t get enough of. Knowing you might not come back had him anxious and feeling sick over it.

But before he had even gotten through half his day at work an email popped up from Personal Premier Services with the subject line: Exit Survey – Y/n Y/l/n 2776

He blinked his eyes as his heart thudded when he opened the email.

Dear Mr. Styles,

We’re sorry the assistant we matched you with didn’t work out. We strive to make sure all of our clients are pleased with the performance of each of our employees and would appreciate your response in the link provided so we know how we can make better choices for you in the future.

We’d love to be able to continue working with you. Please let us know if we can be of further assistance in finding the right person to work with.

Harry couldn’t finish reading as his eyes burned and his mouth went dry.

You had quit. You’d walked out after he kissed you and you weren’t coming back. He hadn’t expected you to quit. He should have seen it coming based on your lack of response to him but he didn’t. He was blindsided. Somehow he’d clung to the tiny bit of hope that you felt the same for him too.

Even though he was in the middle of searching for a piece of art his client wanted he stood from his chair and picked up his car keys, hurrying out of his home to make his way to you. There was no time to stop to pick up flowers or chocolates. No time to wait until the end of the workday after he’d made arrangements with a client. No time to pretend things would be okay anymore.

It took him over an hour to get to your apartment, traffic was shit. No surprise. He pulled up his contacts to find your apartment number once he arrived, and got out of his car to find which door was yours.

When he did find it and knocked with no answer he tried peeking into the one window but he could barely make out anything. You had drapes hung over the window and it appeared all the lights were off.

So he waited. He sat by your door and waited for you until you came back. Nothing else was more important to him at that moment. Even if he waited all night. To Harry, this was code red. His last shot with you.

. . .

You were feeling clear-headed. It was the right choice. It had to be because you couldn’t work for a man like Harry. A man who did illegal things and wanted you to sign an NDA so you wouldn’t talk. A man who you were far too attracted to for it to make any sense. It would just be a series of fights and cold shoulders and sex and longing…

Definitely, it was the right choice to quit. It had to be.

Unfortunately for you, when you got to your door Harry was there, scrambling to push himself up from where he’d been sitting, “Y/n…”

“What are you doing here?”

“I want to talk. I want to make things right with you.”

You shook your head and gripped the shoulder strap of your bag, “There’s nothing to make right. We aren’t good working partners. I should have never agreed to work with you.”

Harry stepped forward and took your hand, “Y/n. We… this isn’t even about work anymore okay? I don’t care about that. Quit if you want. If that’s what you need.”

You pulled your hand away from him, “What do you mean this isn’t about work?”

He sighed and kept his eyes on you, “Because… I like you. I feel like we’re–“

“No. Stop. Don’t do that. You’re confused because when I worked for you that was fun and risky for us to do. But I’ll bet that when the disappointment of me quitting wears off you’ll realize you don’t actually like me like you think you do.”

Harry furrowed his brow as you stepped past him to unlock her door, “What? What are you talking about? I’m serious, Y/n.”

You rolled your eyes, “I don’t think you actually are, Harry,” you pushed your door open.

He was beginning to panic. He hadn’t expected you to reject him telling you that he liked you.

“Wait. Please. Look, okay,” he put his hands up in surrender. “Can I come in? We can just calmly discuss this. Person to person. Also, I really have to take a piss. I’ve been out here for almost four hours waiting for you and I should have thought about that before I left my house but I was in such a rush to get here–“

“Fine. Come in.” You let him through your door and closed it. “Bathroom’s just there in that hall. Do want something to drink?”

Harry looked at you with those soft eyes that made you falter for a second, “Some water would be great. Thank you, Y/n.”

You couldn’t believe that you’d let him in. That you were pouring water for him while he used your toilet. In your apartment. You shook your head thinking about how ridiculous it was that he was sitting outside of your door waiting for you.

When he came out you had his glass of water on a coaster on your coffee table in front of the couch. You took the chair at the side. There was no way you were going to sit next to him. Things didn’t seem to always go as planned when he got too close and you couldn’t have that happen.

“Sit,” you gestured at the couch.

Harry sat down and picked up the glass of water, taking a few big gulps, nearly finishing the entire thing.

You crossed your arms over your chest and waited for him to talk. You had nothing to say in that moment. You hoped it would be quick and he’d be out soon. You didn’t want to look at his handsome sad face for too long or you were worried you’d fold once again. Seemed it didn’t matter if alcohol was involved or not after all.

“Y/n you don’t have to work for me. I know maybe it’s not the best environment when we’re both attracted to one another the way we are. That’s okay. But… I don’t want to stop seeing you.”

“You’re not attracted to me in the way you think you are.”

Harry let out a laugh of confusion, “I can tell you with 100% certainty that I am extremely attracted to you. And it’s not just because you’re sexy. You’re intelligent and funny. I like you, Y/n.”

You shook your head, “Like I said. Wait until the disappointment of me quitting clears. You’re just not getting your way right now and that’s a challenge for you and you’re mistaking those feelings for excitement or attraction.”

The look on Harry’s face was sheer confusion, “What you’re saying is absurd. I came here to confess my feelings for you, Y/n. I… I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone. This is not some strange psychological thing where I’m confusing a challenge for attraction.”

“And you’re into illegal things so I just… I can’t be around that. It’s not worth it to me. You wanted me to sign an NDA. Put my name on a document that proves guilt and sign off on it? And now you’re telling me this? I call bullshit.”

“I don’t want you to sign the fucking NDA. That was stupid. It was in bad taste. It was a way for me to make sure you didn’t quit. I was desperate for keeping hold of something I felt slipping away.”

You laughed loudly, “A lot of good that did.

“I know. I’m so sorry. Y/n please… I’m dead serious here. Do you not like me? Are you not feeling this?” He gestured between himself and you.

You forced yourself to make eye contact with him and it nearly had your heart torn in shreds. You didn’t like the way your mind said one thing and your heart screamed at you for another. But even if you did like him and he liked you, then what? He was doing things that were disreputable. Illegal. That made him a person you didn’t want to be around. You had morals and you had your dignity to look out for.

“Harry it doesn’t matter what I feel or what you feel. I can’t be with you as an employee or a lover, or whatever it is you think you’re looking for. You’re involved in illicit sales of stolen artifacts and artwork. It’s illegal and I know that most of the money you’ve made has been doing dirty deals. How can I ever get over that?”

He looked down at the floor in thought. You were right. He understood your position but he couldn’t accept it. It was too much for him to wrap his head around that you would deny your feelings for him just for something that he thought wasn’t all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

“Y/n, I think it does matter what you feel and what I feel. I think that matters more than anything else actually,” he got up from his spot and you watched him with caution as he stood in front of you and got onto his knees, taking your hands in his, “Y/n, I can’t just walk out of here like this. I see it in your eyes when you look at me. You feel this too, don’t you? Tell me the truth.”

The fucked up part about looking into his eyes was that you softened for him every single time you did it. You tried to be strong and fierce. To be a woman with unshakable values and a strong sense of self but Harry had you feeling wobbly and unsure, “I do, but… it’s not fair.” You willed the tears to stop from filling your eyes.

“It’s not fair to us to ignore this. This feeling. This connection, Y/n.”

“Harry, what’s not fair to me is the way you treated me that first night. What’s not fair is that you hired me and didn’t disclose to me what you really do to make your money. It’s not fair to me that you’re here right now saying all this to me when it’s impossible! How can I say that I respect myself if I allow this to go any further with you?”

Your tears had a mind of their own as they pushed their way out of your sockets and poured down your face. You closed your eyes and then felt Harry’s thumb at your cheek, wiping your tears.

“Y/n, what do you want? What do you want me to do? Hm? How can I make you forgive me for that night? That was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. And everything else? What can I do?”

You shook your head but you didn’t dare open your eyes to look at him, “Harry you can’t do anything. The damage is done.”

“Y/n I can make it right. Please tell me what to do.”

“You can leave. That’s what you should do.” Finally, you peeled your eyes open and looked at him directly. You wanted him to know you meant business.

“Can’t we just–“

You pointed at the door, “Leave. Now. Leave my apartment, Harry. Go.”

Harry stood up slowly and swallowed thickly as he scratched the back of his neck and turned toward your door.

You pushed yourself from the seat ready to lock the door behind him but he turned back to look at you, “Please don’t do this, Y/n.”

You felt a pit in your stomach and a lump in your throat as you pointed at the door, “Go. Please, Harry. Just go.”

When your door was closed and your deadbolt latched you broke down into a sobbing mess on your couch where he’d sat. Only in private would you let yourself feel all those things your heart had pleaded for you to feel. You didn’t want anyone to see this. To know how devastated you were. It was the right choice but the ache in your chest felt like hopelessness.

To have found someone like Harry, the glimpses of his soul and his kindness and his cheekiness, the way he treated you when things were good…

But you had to collect yourself and wipe your tears and move on.

It was time to figure out your next move. Your lease was coming up and you had enough money to find somewhere else to go now. You felt like a new start in a new apartment, maybe in a different city would be good for you. It would make it harder for Harry to ever just traipse up to your apartment again and try to sweep you off your feet.

The first thing you did was block his number and his email and then you opened your laptop to begin the search for a new place to live. A new beginning.

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fluorescentadolescent1 · 9 months

Text

❝ 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘥𝘢❞

: Where Megumi has an existential crisis over his best friend.

fushiguro megumi x childhood friend!reader.

You can also see my masterlist.

For as long as you can remember, you always remember that your first friend was Fushiguro Megumi.

Being Ieiri Shoko's younger sister and with you had already developed your cursed technique, you found yourself a lot in Jujutsu High.

At the age of 6 you met Gojo Satoru, he was a boy your sister's age, you thought he looked funny and he always secretly gave you sweets.

"So tell me y/n-chan, can you see the cursed spirits yet?" he asked one afternoon as he kept you company while you waited for your sister to return from a mission.

You looked at him with doubt, the truth is that you could, but if you mentioned it to children your age they thought you were crazy, Gojo could see your doubt, "Come on sweetie, you know you can trust me"

You nodded slowly, Gojo already knew but I just wanted you to confirm it, "Well little girl, train hard to survive in this world, as long as I am alive you will be safe. After all, I am the strongest" the ego dripped from his words, but the kind smile that he gave you made you feel safe.

The door of the medical wing opened, Geto Suguru and Shoko Ieiri passed through it, you smiled running to greet your sister. At a young age, you already knew the risk of being a jujutsu sorcerer.

" Sorry for the delay y/n , Geto and I stopped to bring you these sweets" you grabbed the bag that Suguru offered you with emotion.

" And what you guys brought to the best babysitter in the world?"

"Shut up gojo"

Suguru caressed your hair and gave you one of his warm smiles, you always believed that he had one of the most beautiful smiles.

It was unfortunate that those were going to be the last ones you see.

" y/n- chan! this is Megumi, I brought him today so you can teach him to be less bitter and more like a nice kid like you." Megumi rolled his eyes and removed gojo's hand from his shoulder.

You were 8 years old when you met Megumi.

One rainy morning Satoru appeared at school with a child your age, with wild hair and a serious countenance, totally different of the adult

The boy looked at you and you couldn't help feeling nervous because of his penetrating gaze, but then you remembered that he was also just a boy, and maybe he also needed a friend like you.

With a smile, you made a small bow and introduced yourself. Megumi repeated your actions nervously and Gojo smiled, it's the first time the boy lost his composure.

"Can someone tell me why Gojo brought a child? " Shoko appeared with a cigarette in her hand, she couldn't help but smile when she saw the boy, happy that you had someone your age to interact with.

Gojo asked Shoko to speak privately while you were talking.

"Megumi-chan, do you want to come with me to buy a soda?"

Megumi turned to see the classroom where Gojo was, but then he analyzed your face and couldn't help but accept.

" I I think I'd like grape sodas, and you? " Megumi felt his cheeks turn red , the truth is that growing up, Tsumiki and he never had enough money to buy new things.

" I never tried them" Megumi expected you to laugh at him, with the young age of 8 he already knew the cruelty of people.

You just smiled and took his hand, walking towards the vending machine. "Don't worry, Satoru usually gives me money if I write his mission reports. He talks and I write, and he usually gives me more money than agreed when I threaten him to tell Yaga-sama "

Megumi rolled his eyes and chuckled, he had known Satoru for less than two days but it sounded like something he would do, "He is quite dumb"

You laughed and nodded. Upon reaching the machine, Megumi was going to take out the money that Satoru had given him for emergencies but you had already bought two grape sodas .

" You don't talk much do you? Don't worry, my sister always says that I speak the same or more than Satoru. I hope you don't mind"

Megumi wanted to tell you no, he didn't find your voice irritating, he really liked the idea of having someone but the words died in his throat and he only limited himself to trying the grape soda

Silence reigned while they both finished their soft drinks, until it was all over, "Look at you Megumi!, you even got a girlfriend"

Satoru regretted those words, he forgot to activate his infinity when Megumi threw the soda can in his face, cutting his eyebrow.

You were 16 years old when you met Itadori Yuuji and Nobara Kugisaki, you knew the calm was over for Jujutsu High when Yuuji became sukuna's vessel.

And from that moment on, Megumi and you were inseparable. Your personalities complementing each other so well.

A week had passed since then, Gojo asked you to try to help Itadori with his training.

The four of them were in the courtyard training, you couldn't help but burst out laughing at the nonsense that Nobara and Itadori did.

Megumi was quiet as he watched you, it's something he really liked to do, although seeing you so happy thanks to Itadori wasn't something he liked that much.

" Gumi, fight me, gojo-sensei said I have to practice my hand-to-hand combat, I'm getting rusty"

You approached Megumi smiling, and he couldn't help but feel his heart race.

You knew each other like the back of your hand, 8 years ago you were friends, and you could all tell your mutual attraction. Well, everyone except you.

" Let's see what a grade one sorcerer is capable of doing?" Megumi teased you, and you were surprised since usually that part of his personality only appeared when you were alone.

Nobara and Itadori went to buy in the vending machine while you were fighting , every time one approached the other backed up and dodged the blows. It was impossible to catch the other off guard, they knew how their bodys and their movements worked.

"What happened Gumi~? thought you could touch me, 8 years in the game and you still can't touch me" You joked approaching quickly from behind, but Megumi hurried to turn around, you collided with his chest to which he wrapped his arm around your neck, throwing you to the ground.

"You spoke too soon, I know your body as if it were my own, have you already forgotten?" Megumi's words made you blush, If only he said them with the meaning that you wanted.

"Ouch Gumi, that really hurt me" you pouted and megumi smiled, he offered his hand for you to get up, but when you grabbed it you threw it to the ground with you earning a groan from him.

You climbed on top of Megumi and grabbed his two hands, holding them on each side of his head and hugging his torso with your legs, preventing him from moving.

" Say I'm stronger than you and I'll let you go" you said smiling approaching his face, Megumi's face reddened and he looked away frowning.

" You literally rank higher than me, idiot." Stubborn as ever, Megumi felt like his heart was going to explode.

" Come on Gumi, make me happy" you asked, being so close you could even count Megumi's long eyelashes.

" Okay, you're stronger than me, happy?" you laughed at his attitude and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

It was common among you that you were so physical with him, always hugging him when he returned from a mission or giving him a kiss as a sign of luck.

But Megumi always found himself wanting more, wanting them to be different, more intimate, not something like friends.

You got up and this time it was you who helped Megumi up. In the distance Nobara and Itadori ran bringing the things they had bought, but you couldn't take your eyes off each other.

" Gumi, I was wondering if..."

You didn't have time to finish your sentence when Itadori came running with Nobara close to him, "Y/n! Nobara wants to argue with me that your favorite flavor of soda is strawberry, but I bought you a grape one since we had that the other day after our mission together."

Ok, now Megumi had several things on his mind.

What were you going to tell him?.Why did you drink grape soda with Itadori? Wasn't that kind of your thing?. And since when is Itadori Yuuji so close to you that he calls you by your first name?

"Heh, yep, sorry Nobara, I actually love grape soda" You said taking the soda from Itadori's hands, you wanted to add that you started to like it since you tried it for the first time with Megumi but the black-haired man was staring into space.

You were afraid that you had gone too far with physical contact, Megumi never showed displeasure when you did it, but you knew that he was a person who liked to be respected in his space.

" I'm going to take a bath, see you later."

The three of you looked stunned as Megumi hurried off in the direction of his bedroom, forgetting his soda.

" And what stung him?"

Nobara asked with her hands on her hips, handing you the other soft drink and nodded in the direction where the black-haired man left, "Honestly I don't feel like putting up with him if he's in his emo stage, I'm also going to take a bath so you can bring him the soda. You're the only one he lets in"

the only one he lets in.

Nobara's words echoed through your head as you made your way to Megumi's bedroom.

Megumi and you really were there for each other at your worst, training together while becoming sorceres together.

Your innocent friendship quickly grew into something new when they hit their teens. You couldn't keep seeing Fushiguro Megumi as your best friend, as that stubborn and timid child that Satoru dragged into your life.

You see him as a man in training, who still has a hard time getting out of his comfort zone but always seeks to protect everyone, who lets you make masks on him and watches Pride and Prejudice with you.

And suddenly, you realized.

Not only did you have a little crush, you you were in love with Fushiguro Megumi.

Emotions filled your eyes with tears, you squeezed the soda to your chest and covered your mouth to prevent a whimper from escaping your lips.

You were in front of his door when you least realized it, you tried to control your breathing but to no avail when the door opened revealing a freshly bathed Fushiguro Megumi.

"What were you doing that you didn't come in, weirdo? I saw your shadow under the..."

Megumi's face softened when he saw your face and your eyes full of tears, he hated to see you cry.

" What happened? something happened to you?"

He wasted no time and made you enter his room, closing the door and making you sit on the bed.

"Nothing happened, I just came to bring you the soda that Nobara bought for you"

By mentioning soda, again you could see how something changed in megumi's face. He was upset about something, and whenever he was, he shut down.

" Megumi, can you explain to me what's wrong? "

Megumi bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair, letting out an annoyed groan. But not because of you, but because he was embarrassed to admit the childish motive.

" It's stupid, forget it" He shifted his gaze away from you, but your hands on his face made him turn.

Your look was determined and serious like your voice, "Listen to me, idiot, nothing that happens to you will be stupid for me, ever"

The cheeks on her face flushed red and her gaze softened so you continued, "Look, I'm sorry if I went too far today in practice, but you don't have to get all weird about it. You just have to make it clear that you don't like me getting close so much to you"

what? now Megumi was confused.

But something clicked in his head and he understod everything. You thought that his attitude was because of the kiss on the cheek, you thought that you were the problem. He had to fix everything.

Megumi removed your hands from his cheeks and could see how that affected you more, but he smiled sheepishly and grabbed your hands, "You're a fool, I've never complained about it, because it never bothered me. It was silly, I just thought that you only drank grape soda with me."

"I understand that you might like Itadori, it's just that I felt something, I don't know, betrayed? hearing him call you by your first name and being as close to you as I am. It was just that"

You couldn't help but smile, Megumi was jealous of you? Could it be that for once in your life things turned out as you wish?

" I didn't know you were the type to be jealous, Gumi~" you teased approaching his face, Megumi rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile too, both cheeks red from the approach.

"Shut up idiot, I told you it was silly. Now will you tell me why you were about to cry?" ah yes, Megumi always worrying about you.

You pondered your options in your mind, but chose to opt for the truth after hearing him.

"Let me clarify a few things. First, the day I had grape soda with Itadori, only I had it, he chose strawberry. Second, it's somewhat awkward that every time my sister and I heard Shoko, we doubt who is for."You said looking into his eyes, you could see how his features calmed down.

"And I was crying because I realized that I'm in love with you, Megumi" you said feeling the tears threaten to spill again.

It was always like this, you were always more daring than megumi when it came to talking about your emotions.

Megumi felt his heart stop, hearing you say those words was just a dream for him since he was 10 years old.

Everything felt like it fell into place, all the time you spent together, every detail, every memory. You had it all. It only remained to seal the destination.

Megumi approached you, and shyly kissed your lips. Being the first time for both of you, it was somewhat uncomfortable but it didn't take away the sweetness.

" God y/n, you don't know when I longed for this, I thought I would never be worthy of you" He could also feel how the emotions were too much, he needed to show you how much he loved you, how much he needed you all this time.

You silenced him with another short kiss, "You don't have to say it Gumi, I know, I guess we knew all along."

Being in their room in silence, cuddling and kissing that they held back all this time, they were both grateful that Gojo Satoru forced them to be friends.

Two days later, when Gojo saw Megumi kiss him on the cheek for the first time, he smiled in an egocentric way and headed to Shoko's office.

" Ha! Guess who just proposed to who" he said abruptly entering and sitting down at Shoko's desk, but was surprised when she smirked.

"You're old news, Gojo. My little sister confessed to Megumi, so you can deposit me the money now."

The smile faded from Gojo's face, he reluctantly deposited the money into Shoko's account.

Although he lost the bet, he was happy for you.

#jujutsu kaisen #megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro x reader #megumi fluff #megumi smut #itadori x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojo saturo #itadori yuuji #itadori smut

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s0ulryo · 2 years

Note

Headcanons for dottore in his time in the academya with a crush who's nice and friendly with him?? Love seeing this loser obsess with someone who showed him kindness for the first time lmao

Il Dottore Having a Crush Headcanons [Sumeru Akademiya Edition] ⋆*.✩‧₊˚

[Dottore x Reader]

Synopsis: Il Dottore having a crush on another student.

Tags: Mostly fluff, a little crackish, soft headcanon, slight cw obsessive Dottore, and slight violence.

Notes: Oocish? Proofreadish??? I love Dottore. I ran out of ideas after the third sentence #igetstuckeasy. Gets really rambly. It's not super great so i might fix it later Also, it’s like 4 am :sobs: ALSO THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST ANON <3333. Please tell me if you enjoyed!!

(Reader is always gn unless otherwise specified.)

Dottore being shunned for being a "monster" and "madman" wasn't anything new – he was kicked out of his home for his scientific experimentation concepts, and now he is being rejected by the students and teachers at the akademiya for the same thing.

However, you are the exact opposite. Most of the time at least. Before you associated yourself with Il Dottore, you were admired and respected by your peers. You weren’t as smart or as talented as the other students, but you were a pleasant person to be around and that’s what the other people at the akademiya liked about you.

The way you met Dottore wasn't the most...conventional. You saw Dottore getting beat up by one student in a classroom, and you were feeling like a menace that day; so you simply hit said bully over the head with a book – hard. He’ll be fine right? A small blackout never hurt anyone anyways.

Dottore was confused. He also was quite concerned, you were standing over him and the other guy with a book in hand. Why wouldn’t he be concerned?

You handed Dottore the book and left the classroom after that. You didn’t know him that well, you saw him around campus once in a while and you heard the rumors about him, but you never really talked to him. In all honesty, you didn’t care about him or his rumors. ‘Madman’ this, ‘homicidal maniac’ that, he’s passing his classes with higher marks than everyone else so he has to be doing something right. Right?

Ever since Dottore ‘met’ you, he’s been preoccupied with trying to find out more about you. Most people don’t hit a stranger over the head with a book. He’s overheard conversations about you and has been trying to find out what kind of person you are. Most people at the akademiya despise him – do you despise him too? Did you want a favor from him? So many questions about you plagued his mind since that day.

The first time you had a verbal conversation with Dottore was after one of your classes. You were having an existential crisis behind a building because you slept through your lecture and didn’t understand half of the material, and he was trying to hide from other students.

“I’m so going to fail, what does this even mean – maybe it’s not too late to drop out...”

“[Name] it’s halfway through the second semester, yes it’s too late to drop out now.”

At that moment, you started to realize that you didn’t really like Dottore. He’s not…awful, it’s more like he laughed at you mid-breakdown. Yeah, you can have inhumane experimentation ideas, but laughing at your panicked state was a big no-no. (It’s fine, you started to like him more as you got to know him better.)

You proceeded to try to subtly avoid him after that. You were polite to him because you had to be, but you didn’t want to deal with him too much after that conversation, but that’s hard to do when you saw him almost everywhere. Dottore was like gum stuck to your shoe that you couldn’t get rid of.

Honestly having him around you wasn’t too bad, and after a little bit, you started to enjoy his presence. You kept the bullies away from him, and he helped you pass the classes that you tended to sleep through. Sometimes you felt sorry for him though, he is a little odd – if you count inhumane scientific suggestions as odd; but they’re just suggestions, right? So no harm done. Plus, his ideas were slightly interesting if you thought about it.

The more you willingly hung out with Dottore, the more he grew addicted to the feeling. After a certain point, he starts to think of you as a close friend. Seeing how you were his only friend.

Dottore as your friend is a good and bad thing. It’s a good thing because he’s extremely helpful when it comes to your classes and he’s an entertaining person to be around, but it’s a bad thing because he’s such a wildcard.

He’ll bully you and pull pranks on you all the time. Your least favorite prank that he pulled on you was when he hid your Sumeru Akademiya uniform from you. Or when he promised to help you study but spoke in Fontaine/Fontais (French) the whole time.

I think Dottore’s feelings for you kind of snowballed. It slowly built up till the realization just kind of…crashed into him. He confirmed his feelings for you after he received a birthday gift from you. It was something really trivial honestly. He offhandedly mentioned that it was his birthday a few days prior and was surprised to see you with a neatly wrapped package the next day at his front door.

“Why are you here [Name]?”

“This is for you Dottore.”

Dottore looks at you puzzled “A package?”

You sigh “A gift you idiot. A gift for you – for your birthday.”

Looking at you like you're the weirdest thing he has seen he says “A gift for my birthday?”

“Yes Dottore, a gift for your birthday.”

“Why would I need a gift for my birthday?”

“Have you never received a birthday gift before Dottore?”

“...No?”

He was pleasantly surprised to see a mini tool kit inside the package. You knew he liked tinkering with stuff, and he was surprised you remembered that. He just kind of stood there in thought for a bit after that and was like 'wow this is nice, someone cares about my wellbeing'.

I also think Dottore would try to impress you by complimenting you or trying to “flirt” with you. Keyword – try. He’s so shit at it, it’s not even funny. He tries, he really does. He just wants you to feel like how he feels when he’s around you. He’s just not as good with his words as you are, though that could be because he was shunned by mostly everyone in his life for his whole life.

When he’s complimenting you it either doesn’t make a lot of sense or it’s extremely backhanded, and when he’s trying to flirt with you he either forgets what he was supposed to say or just starts to insult you.

“[Name] if you were a…”

“If I was a?”

“I forgot what I was going to say [Name].”

Dottore isn’t really the type of person to do anything when he has a crush on someone. He won't actively try to seek out a relationship with you mainly because he doesn’t want to ruin the relationship he has with you. He may be bad with social cues, but he understands if you don’t reciprocate the feelings he has for you it could mess up your guys’ current relationship.

On a different note, he’d do anything for you. You were the only person who really showed him any form of kindness, even if that kindness was extremely minuscule at first. He appreciates everything you've done for him – whether that’s getting him gifts, or cooking him meals, he’s really thankful you do that for him. He’s just so whipped for you.

Il Dottore is a man that found an obsession with the feeling of being wanted. A feeling that you have provided for him, and one day he hopes he can tell you how he feels.

#s0ulryo #s0ulryo writes #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #geshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #genshin headcanons #il dottore x reader #dottore x reader #il dottore #il dottore genshin #il dottore headcanons #dottore headcanons #dottore #dottore genshin #dottore fluff #s0ulryo + anons #s0ulryo asks

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raaorqtpbpdy · 4 months

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Listen, the simple fact of the matter is: a walrus is bigger than a fairy.

I hear a knock on the door and I open it. I see a fairy. It’s two apples tall. It gives me a start but all I have to do is politely turn it away and I’m good. Conversely it’s human sized and I fully believe it’s a human in a costume—because how the hell would I even be able to tell it’s not—and all I have to do is politely turn it away and I’m good. The encounter is brief, there’s no need to get anyone else involved, and I can have an existential crisis about the existence of fairies after it’s gone.

I hear a knock on the door and I open it. I see a walrus. I fully jump, scramble backwards. I attempt to slam the door in its face, but it’s already halfway through the doorway, barreling towards me with its long tusks and heavy body. I run for my life from the creature that utterly wrecks the narrow walkways of my home behind me. This encounter will not be brief. I have time to wonder: why the fuck is a walrus here? How did it get here? How did no one see it headed here and call animal control? The nearest zoo it over an hour away by car and it doesn’t even have walruses? How long has it been tracking me? Does it know who I am? How did it even knock when it only has flippers and not hands? How the fuck do I get out if this situation? I can’t call anyone because who the fuck is going to believe that I have an actual, real life walrus in my house. I don’t even believe it. I find a window and knock the screen out, scrambling through it into my backyard. I go to the library and look up real estate listings—that’s the walrus’ house now.

#so yeah #both would be surprising for sure #but the shock factor is definitely proportional to the size of the visitor and the length of the ensuing interaction #a fairy can be reasoned with #a walrus cannot #fairy vs walrus

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lecsbootymain · 3 months

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Itafushi headcannons

megumi is the only person who's ever made yuji blush in all seriousness

megumi is a hoodie hoarder (of yuji's hoodies ofc!)

yuji likes running his fingers through megumi's hair when he's asleep

they've been on countless ice cream dates (ofc megumi would call them otherwise but like-)

yuji walked in on megumi fresh out of shower once and it took him a full whole minute to regain his composure (and get his insides to stop tingling)

"So are you just gonna stare or?" Megumi cocked a challenging eyebrow, the faintest edge of amusement coating his tone. If Yuji kept looking at him like that for any longer, Megumi would have to step back into the bathroom to get rid of the inexplicable heat emanating off of his muscles. "I-", Yuji cleared his throat, as if to chase away any last remnants of how heavy and hot his insides felt from showing, "- yea, sorry, I was just- would you like to catch an ice cream later?" he blurted out; It had been weeks- 27 days precisely (of course he was counting!) since they'd last went out together. Just the two of them. Between the growingly demanding training schedule and countless missions Gojo was bent on sending them on, it was getting harder to catch each other selfishly lately. It bugged both of them more than they would've liked to admit. The only difference was that Yuji would actually come up, heed to the temptation and ask him out already, while Megumi would bait him walking around half naked like that. Megumi shrugged, "Yea I'd like that," he was really hoping he was doing his best to smother the excitement in his voice, but boy did Yuji know any better. So he nodded finally, cutting his brooding little black cat some slack, "Okay, cool, so um, see you in a while? When you're-" another cough "-decent," God why was it so hot in this room? With their date outing settled, Yuji turned to leave. Maybe it was all the sleepless nights catching up to him, or maybe seeing Megumi's towel hanging that low had short-circuited the nerves of his brain, but Yuji could've sworn he saw Megumi don one of his hoodies, out of the corner of his eye; one which had disappeared out of the blue after a mission, one which he'd been searching for incessantly. And there the stupid butterflies went, making a fuss in his tummy.

ever since megumi caught yuji sneaking off to the terraces at night to actually relax without feeling the responsibility of the world drooping his sanity, he makes it a point to accompany him

they don't do much, never talk even, just sit against the rooftop, with yuji's head on megumi's shoulder, megumi's fingers intertwined with yuji's on his thigh and their gaze fixed upon the same stars

ever since the encounter with sukuna, megumi has to have his head on yuji's chest so he can actually sleep, listening to yuji's rythmic heartbeat is what keeps his going

the first time megumi ever called yuji by his first name, was when he moaned it against his mouth after their first kiss

yuji fell in love with him all over again after that instance and now he gets pissy everytime megumi calls him itadori when they're in public

megumi would let yuji style his hair (only on sundays, and yk this is big coming from someone as reserved as him)

yuji would casually throw around sexual jokes when with megumi, unaware of the effect it has on him

yuji secretly (oh who am i kidding, megumi obviously knew ab it; with the way my man's got his eyes on him 24 7, i wouldn't be surprised), mixed their colognes once because he liked the idea of it

their first kiss was actually initiated by a frustrated megumi in an attempt to shut up a stupidly beautiful an annoying yuji

yuji may or may not have had an existential crisis over his crush making the first move

nobara is the first person they come out to

yuji's love language is quality time while megumi's is acts of service both inside and outside the bedroom

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okayyyy you guys, I'm so sorry for posting this so late. Truth be told, it's been sitting in my drafts for weeks, I was too caught up with my exams so I was giving it a rest. But a girl can only take her mind off of two silly little gays for so long! So here it is. I'm ngl, but the way writing about anything jjk related in general, especially anything stsg or itfs centered, never fails to boost my energy levels up is crazy. I love love love them w all my heart, and I try to express it in my hcs. I know they may not be exactly canon-compliant, but they're what side of my brain that's a sucker for happy endings seeks refuge in. So yea, I try.

PS The yuji-asking-megumi-out tidbit was supposed to be only like a few lines, idk how I ended up writing all that-

Alsooo I've been wanting to write an itfs fic for awhile; not that I have a solid plot at ready or anything, it's just an urge I have (and I know that's not how writing works lol) so maybe, just mayyyybe, ima try to work on it in my vacation? (which starts from tm btw). Cause if I actually do plan on going ahead w it, it'd be my first ever fic, and tbh it seems just as scary as it seems exciting. Either way, if you managed to read this far, I'm grateful that you did!<3

Long live itafushi!!!🎀

#i will cry actually #for the 15 ppl who voted for this post haha #this is for you cuties<3 #they're my babies #itafushi #itfs #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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wxnheart · 1 year

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So i had this dream were I had a HUGE crush on alejandro but he was giving all gis attention to my friend and wouldn't even glance at me, so i came up with an idea. How would the 141 and alejandro (or just alejandro would be fine) react to their s/o being sad because they had a dream like me? Or a dream where the boys cheat on the s/o? Thanks in advance!

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐒𝐅 - 𝐓𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝟏𝟒𝟏/𝐋𝐨𝐬 𝐕𝐚𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

note: So when I first saw this request, I immediately thought of this video I came across not too long ago. And now... I immediately associate these two things together. I am deeply sorry, anon.

Captain John Price - He was actually having a rather nice dream about you. When you told him about your dream, Price immediately sought to allay your fears and next thing you know, he's got you wrapped up in his arms. No, darling, his heart is for you and you alone. ...No, he wasn't laughing in his sleep, what in the hell are you talking about?

Gaz - You actually startled him out of his sleep. Yeah, uh... Gaz is normally on top of his responses. Normally. This time he's, uh, confused. Which leads to a delayed reaction. ("I... uh... I'm sorry?") Which in turn makes you feel like shit. The fuck he means he's sorry?! Let's just say it takes him some time to calm you down... and get back in your good graces.

Soap - You actually don't stay mad at him for long because he's the goodest of boys and you know for an absolute fact that Soap wouldn't stray. Still doesn't help totally shake the feeling away but he does his best to reassure you. You two practically cuddle until you're asleep again.

Ghost - Aw shit, here we go again. ("What the hell do you mean 'again', Simon?!") You're ranting and raving and Ghost is glaring staring at you because he was TRYING to get some sleep (he'll be damned if he doesn't get a bang for his buck from these pillows). You get even more upset when he mentions that you've had the same dream before and like the last couple of times, nothing. happened. Baby, listen to him. Nothing. Fucking. Happened. And what fucking friend? Congratulations, you're BOTH in the doghouse, you for once again fretting over shit that will never happen, and Simon for bringing up the fact that you've had this dream more than once.

Alejandro thee Stallion - Ay Dios mío. You wished you could stay mad at him. You absolutely wished you could but the bastard has a way with words and fuck if they aren't working on you right now. That dream is an afterthought what with the way he uses his talents (read: his mouth) in... other places to show you just how much your reality is infinitely better than your dreams. Your friend could never have this.

B̳o̳n̳u̳s̳

Rudy - Is in the doghouse because while you were busy having an existential crisis, he was sleeping peacefully through it all. He STILL doesn't know what the fuck he did and you're too mad to tell him. ("You know what you did, Rudy.")

Graves - Puts the dog in doghouse. Is half asleep when you tell him and the fucker doesn't even turn over to look at you. All you get is a husky chuckle and a "Which friend is it this time, darlin'?" You're contemplating smacking and/or smothering him with your pillow; we don't blame you one bit, babes. Fuck his ass up.

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lovelytsunoda · 2 years

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you’re on your own, kid // mercedes

summary: to quote her mentor, it’s been a shit fucking day at the office. she doesn’t want to go home alone, and needs a few shoulders to cry on.

pairing: platonic!mercedes amg f1 team x female reader

warnings: *existential crisis intensifies*. talk of loneliness and romantic problems, anxiety. y/n is very emotional and sensitive. I do a lot of projecting because I just want to be comforted. we jokingly bully paul aron a little bit.

author's note: the only explanation i have for this is sad girl fall

"mr. bonnington?" she shouted, dashing across the factory floor to catch up to the race engineer, a stack of papers in her hands.

peter bonnington smiled at the young intern, taking the sheaf of papers patenting the new suspension system being used in the silver arrows for next season. "mr. bonnington was my father. please, y/n, call me bonno. everybody else does. you're one of us now."

"am i? i just work in legal. i don't even get to travel." she said it jokingly, but it was another reminder that she didn't truly fit in with the team, that nothing she did would make her good enough.

"yeah, and you don't get the stress and jet lag that goes along with it." bonno looked at her knowingly. "you're going to do great things here. just you wait and see."

but y/n didn't fully believe him. she wasn't even a proper lawyer, just the clerk. the glorified errand-girl.

she carried that bad feeling in her stomach all day. while she was sitting at her desk typing reports, watching through the windows as the engineers laughed with each other. while she sorted contracts and blueprints and watched the drivers talking with each other on their way to the simulator room. the junior drivers, kimi antonelli and paul aron, one a year younger than she was, the other two full calendar years and three months. just kids, already more successful and well known than y/n would ever be.

and she realized that she never truly felt like she fit in, and then she was going to go home and sit alone with her feelings over a frozen dinner.

as soon as the clock hit five, she grabbed her backpack and her coat and she was out of the office in a flash, headphones in as she bit back tears.

she made it to the edge of the parking lot before she started crying, sitting down on the edge of one of the decorative rocks. the tears ran down her face and she knew she looked like a fool sitting in the parking lot and bawling her eyes out, but her mother always told her that emotions were better out than in.

she didn't know how long she had been there when something brought her back to the present moment. the press of a paw on her leg, a deep bark that cut through the music she was listening to. the gentle pressure of a hand on her shoulder.

she looked down, taking out one of her earbuds as she reached down to scratch roscoe hamilton behind the ears, turning her head to see the bulldog's owner, the one and only lewis hamilton, standing next to the rock where she was sitting.

"are you alright, y/n? you look upset."

she shook her head, wiping her eyes and trying to regain composure. "you know who i am?"

"of course. we met when your lawyer did that tour of the factory floor."

"i didn't think the higher ups would remember somebody like me."

lewis smiled, taking a seat next to her on the rock, lifting roscoe up so she could hold the bulldog in her arms. "do you want to talk about it?"

"it's been a day, lewis. it's been a day. i'm struggling to fit in here, even though this field placement is literally the dream to me. i've loved this team since before i could walk, and i feel like an outsider every time that i walk through the factory doors."

lewis comfortingly put his hand on her arm. "what can we do to help?"

"i don't know. i think that i'm the problem, lewis. i don't know how to talk to people, and i always think they're judging me behind my back. i'm not a people person, and i think it's just as simple as that."

roscoe whined in her lap, nudging his head into her stomach. she laughed scratching the bulldog behind the ears.

"roscoe seems to like you. and if roscoe likes you, you can't be that bad."

"i'm just lonely, lewis. it's my first year away from home, and i've never been alone for this long before."

lewis was about to say something when another voice cut through the air.

"oi, lewis, mate, what are you doing out here in the cold?"

they both turned around. lewis waved the other man over, and soon enough, george russell was sitting on her other side, a concerned look on his face.

"are you alright, love? you look like you've been crying."

"thanks for the reminder." she sniffled, wiping at her eyes with the cuff of her sweater. "i'm y/n, i work in legal."

"nice to meet you, y/n. i'm george, but you know that already, i bet."

lewis patted her gently on the shoulder. "y/n was just saying that she doesn't feel like she fits in here."

george's eyes widened. "that can't be true. come on now, we aren't that bad company, are we?"

y/n laughed, shaking her head. "i've just always struggled with the social aspect. and now i get to go home and be lonely over a good book and a frozen dinner from sainsburys."

lewis raised his eyebrows. "really? a pretty, bright young thing like you must have someone to come home to."

"you know how it is. you grow older and you lose touch with friends, they move away destined for better things and you're still stuck in the same place that you were before because your anxiety is so bad that you can't bear to move away from home and leave behind everything you thought you knew. this is my first time living on my own. i moved out of my parent's house and into a small little flat that i can barely afford."

she stopped and took a deep breath.

i will not cry in front of the most important members of this fucking team.

"with every day that goes by where i don't meet that person, that person who's going to love me unconditionally, that person who's going to tell me i'm gorgeous and kiss me softly and want to spend the rest of their life with me, i get scared that it's never going to happen for me. i'm scared of being alone."

"woah, is there a party out here that i wasn't invited to?" nyck de vries was bundled up from head to toe against the british fall, the wind ruffling his hair as he shrunk his already small body back into the down jacket that swamped his body. "room for one more?"

"if you can fit on the rock, you're welcome to join us." y/n smiled, grateful for the company as she shifted to create room for the reserve driver.

"nyck'll fit, he's tiny anyways." george laughed as the dutch driver joined the trio.

"fuck off, russell. we can't all be tall. being short is awesome anyways, i don't know what you're talking about. so, what are we talking about? boys? inter-office gossip?"

"how about the ever present fear of dying alone having never experienced being in love." y/n said shortly, pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her knuckles. "yeah, it's a heavy one."

"i'm sorry, how old are you?"

"almost twenty."

"that's way too young to be having an existential crisis like this, mate. you have your whole life ahead of you."

"it will happen when it's meant to. the world has a funny way of working in the ways you least expect it." lewis said gently, taking her small hand in his larger one. "and in the mean time, you have the three of us."

"i can set you up with some of the f2 guys." nyck suggested. "i mean, it's been a while since i was a part of that world, but there's got to be a few of them left around that could help out."

"absolutely not. i'm not sicking an f2 driver on the poor girl." lewis laughed. "you of all people should know how wild they are."

"would you rather i set her up with a formula e driver? i'd say that they're worse."

"what about clement?" george suggested. "i think you'd love novalak, he's a riot."

"he's friends with lando." lewis reminded his teammate.

"right, maybe he's not the best fit for someone so sweet and quiet. paul, maybe?"

"paul is eighteen years old, george." y/n reminded through a laugh. "i'm not dating a literal child."

"what's this about dating?"

at the sound of the team principal's voice, all conversation ceased as the drivers turned to look at their boss. "hey toto." they chorused in almost terrifying unison.

"your drivers are trying to find me a boyfriend."

toto raised his eyebrows. "and they suggested paul? i wouldn't wish that boy on anybody. his brother might be a good fit though. a nice boy with a respectable job on the pit wall."

"leave the poor girl alone, toto." susie laughed, smacking her husband on the arm. "me and angela are the only people allowed to send her on dates, you hear me?"

"yes, susie." the three drivers said in unison, laughing among themselves.

y/n already felt better.

"hey, y/n," george offered. "we were all about to go for a night out, lewis was taking us bowling, we were probably also going to get some pizza or something. did you want to come with us? i'd hate for you to go home sad."

y/n smiled. "actually, yeah. i'd like that a lot."

"come on, then!" susie smiled, helping y/n up from the rock and putting her arm around the younger girl. "you look like you need some girl time."

"oi, susie!" nyck shouted with a laugh. "don't go stealing her from us now!"

and suddenly, even if it was just for a night, she felt like things were going to be okay again.

maybe she wasn't as lonely as she thought she was.

maybe she wasn't on her own after all.

#formula one x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #george russell #lewis hamilton #nyck de vries #toto wolff #mercedes amg petronas #mercedes f1 #mercedes x reader #taylor swift #lovelytsunodas eclectic music taste #mini fic #family are the friends we meet along the way series #Spotify

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