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thekingofwinterblog · 6 months

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So just something I noticed about spirit, which might give an insight into his and Maka's mother's relationship, and timeline.

This is the only picture we have of Maka's mother as her and Spirit are telling Maka about the legends of Fire Force... I haven't actually read it, so i have no idea what those might be, but what i find interesting is how spirit looks so... Young, while his wife does not.

Like Spirit had maka while he was 18 years of age, so he cant be more than 20 at most here, but he looks like a teenager, while his wife despite being smaller, looks like she's in her early thirties.

Where am i going with this?

Well, in this flashback we see the dynamic the previous generation had while still at school... And notice that Spirit looks barely younger while flirting with this random lady, than he did after having Maka.

Now, for obvious reasons this doesnt mean that this scene is set before he and his ex-wife hooked up, but it's not hard to imagine that there likely was a period in Spirit's life where he tried to clean his act up, given that his wife actually agreed to marry him.

Meanwhile, this flashback to an earlier point than that gives us one of our only direct looks into how Spirit and Stein functioned as partners.

Their dynamic isnt as important as the ages here. This is clearly taken from their first year or so, and Spirit looks like a 12 year old who's hit a growth spurt, but not matured at all elsevise.

With all of this in mind, and with what we know of Spirit and his wife's school years, what can we figure out?

We know Spirit and Stein was partners, all the way until Maka's mother, while still a student discovered Stein's experiments, upon which Spirit was transfered into her care.

Why is this important? Because 1. It seems likely that all of the drama around this likely happened in their last year of school.

In other words, Maka was probably concieved while spirit and his wife was still in school.

If that is true, it likely means maka was not a planned child, and that one of the reasons why Maka's mother thought Spirit could clean up his act, was that he was still barely not schoolboy anymore when they hooked up.

In other words, while naive on her part, it was a possibility. Plenty of teenagers do leave behind their childish ways upon leaving school.

However, there is one final bit of info i havent covered yet.

We know there was a time period when the Albarns were happy together, or at least they were from Little Maka's perspective.

However, there is one little detail from these pictures from happier days that shines a final light on how things unfolded.

Spirit is not wearing his work attire. That means that at this point, he is likely not yet a death scythe, or at the very least, he is not THE death scythe.

When we get Flashbacks to Maka spying on Spirit as he's committing infidelity, Maka and spirit are both a bit older, but Spirit also has adopted his current work attire, meaning that at this point, he's become Shinigami's weapon... And that gives a very different picture of how things unfolded.

Because it means that when Spirit was still with his wife, as not just her husband, but her partner, he probably remained true to her, and was a dad Maka admired... It was when that stopped, and he no longer saw her every day, as their work took them in different directions, that Spirit fell back to his old ways, and began cheating on her. It's a thing that actually happens a depressingly lot in reality, when couples grow physically separated due to job developments, and one begins to cheat on the other.

If so it adds some very much needed context to why Maka's mother left Death City and her job as a meister behind so decisively without any further contact.

We know that she was a meister with the skills and determination to see Spirit's journey to a death scythe through to the finish... And the only thing she got out of it, was Shinigami taking her husband away from her, him then falling back into his old ways, and then years of an unhappy marriage, and finally all that remained of her happy teenage dream was the remains of a broken life. That was her reward for suceeding in doing her job to the fullest of her abilities.

No wonder she is bitter, not just at Spirit, but the entire system, and especially her old boss.

#soul eater #maka's mother #spirit albarn #maka albarn #meta #speculation #depressing timeline of events #franken stein

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our-polyamorous-experience · 1 month

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So, I thought I was monogamous until I got a gf.

I love her, I love her so much, I genuinely am being risked disowned just so I can be with her. She is literally the light of my life.

Now my problem is, despite my love for her, I feel like something is just missing, idek if that is the right term for it. But I feel it.

I have dreamed of having another man in our relationship, just another guy along with her, in my head it feels like it would complete it. But like, I don't even know any thing about being poly, I have never thought myself to be polyamorous, I don't know if what I am saying even aligns with being poly.

But its not even sexual, I rarely think of it as sexual, just as a relationship. I know I am the dominant one in our relationship, not just in the bedroom, but overall, I am someone she can lean on.

But I want someone to lean on, I want a man, I want a boyfriend so fucking badly. I want someone I can share her with, I want someone she can look at and love just as much as me. And be someone he can love just as much as her and vice versa.

I have been raised in a super religious, super conservative household, I am eighteen, this is all so so new to me. I feel like I'm being perverted, or gross, or wrong, and I am so fucking terrified to bring it up with her, especially cause we're long distance.

But I love her, I love her with all of my heart, everyday I talk to her, I have talked with her more than anyone else in my entire life, she is my best friend. I don't even know if this counts as being poly.

I know I've got my whole life to figure this out, but man I was the ten year old who had a 20 year plan because I desperately needed structure and I am no different in my relationship or in figuring out my sexuality/gender.

Idek what this was. Should I talk to her about this? I can live without it, I know I can, but I feel like its something I need not want. We havent been together for even six months yet, maybe I should wait until we're more secure in our relationship. Brother, I do not know.

Anyway, thank you for listening and thank you for your blog. These are things I could never voice irl so having blogs like you does make a difference.

im gonna be so fr idk what to tell you other than "yeag that definitely sounds like youre poly". I'm glad youre starting to be able to figure yourself out, anon.

#our polyamorous experiences #polyamory #sinastre answers asks

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abyssal-cryptid · 1 year

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Even more Tears of the Kingdom thoughts (SPOILERS)

I cant figure out how long after Calamity this game is set. It's got to be at least some years, everyone else has changed but Link and Zelda

Link and Zelda have lived this time together in Link's house in Hateno <<33

Their Well holds Zelda's secret room

Also yes every well in this game has something so my favorite thing rn is just jumping into wells

Zelda had a school built to Hateno because she loves kids

I hate how so many people in this game who should know who Link is dont know him

You mean to tell Ive been living in Hateno for years and no one recognises me

Zelda is still referred to as princess which implies she hasnt allowed herself to be crowned queen

Ive spent like three hours just strolling in Hateno

I did get the camera and my enjoyment of the game has increased tenfold

HATENO TECH LAB HAS A RUINED GUARDIAN I REPEAT HATENO HAS A GUARDIAN REMAIN

Im so excited I missed seeing these everywhere

Purah's room has drawings of them and the divine beasts

You can just pick up the koroks who need to be reunited w their friends with ultrahand and carry them wherever they want to go. They also roll down hills

Me @ the forbidden ruins in Kakariko: "Let me in, let me innnn"

SIDON HAS A FIANCE

IM SO DISTRAUGHT

THEY SAW US SHIP LINK AND SIDON AND WENT "none of that here is his gf"

HUDSON HAS A DAUGHTER <<33

This game has cheese. I can die happy now

I am taking the elevator up every time I see a falling rock

Went to Akkala Citadel Ruins. Was looking at the views. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING GOES RED AND HANDS ARE CHASING ME WHAT THE FUCK

The way they dont let my boy have his long hair out on any fits is criminal. Could have tweaked the armor sets that much

Why is Zelda appearing everywhere and being an evil menace??? Zelda tf is going on w you?? Arent you supposed to be in the past

They looked at me, specifically, loving side quests more than my life and going "we have to give them more" and this is a good day

There's a golden horse???

Also I heard Yunobo is a dick in this??? Not my boy :(

I go to the Zora tower and there is a man nearly dead

ALSO OH MY GOD WHY DID ZELDA ATTACK KING DOREPHAN

Man was dying (Lets hope this doesnt age poorly because I dont think I could handle it)

So its been like five years at least since BOTW ended and like. Why does no one remember me and also where did all these new people come from that didnt exist here couple years ago?? Where were yall?? Having tea??

Kilton has a little brother <3

I should get back to the "first" main questline as in the Rito are dying in a blizzard but there's pretty flowers and mayoral elections

Did I already mention they did not nerf bows? They didnt and I love that, archers for life

Also I lost Hestu again and I need more inventory

I am afraid to venture into the Korok Forest

Stables are so fun. You get points from first visit, staying the night, registering horses etc AND THEY GIVE YOU REWARDS

I got the Traveler's Gear for General (my baby boy horse)

I found Big Horse and named him Babylon

Also saved this one guy stuck in a cave

Starting to get to a point where enemies drop 15-30 fuse power parts and life is getting easier

Ive activated like 20 shrines since I last did a bunch. I havent done them because what if I have to build vehicles (bad)

I miss cryonis

Havent done much in the sky tbh

I want my champions tunic. I however dont feel like going to the castle

Where the fuck is Ganondorf

I could always see him in BOTW I dont like this

I am kind of disappointed they didnt change the looks of old armor sets. HOWEVER. Cece's hat is all Im going to say. I wonder if I can wear that to Gerudo town

Im still a one shot to so many things

The Zora are dying (their water is turning into mud)

Gorons have malice pink eyes so dont trust theyre doing too well either

Barbarian armor fits so well with Link's messy long hair

Im still kind of shocked that the sheikah tech is just gone

How do I get into Hateno tech lab

Some of yall are actually building vehicles? Im avoiding that like the plague

Still salty about Sidon

I get taken for a little while and he gets engaged

His fiance did refer to Sidon as "my best friend"

The quote went "Im Prince Sidon's... oh forgive me. I am your best friend's fiancee"

She us cute but still

ALSO THEY MOVED MIPHA'S STATUE TO THE TOP OF PLOYMUS MOUNTAIN

THE ZORA'S DOMAIN STATUE IS NOW OF LINK AND SIDON

Why cant I marry him

Sidon carries Mipha's trident now (sobs)

When you meet him he goes "Its good to see you my friend" so happily

"By the way... I hope you know that I am truly happy to see you again after such a long time apart, my dearest friend"

I sobbed

He loves us so much

Just go visit him

Sidon wont marry me and Sonia and Rauru are married, cant a man find some love in Hyrule

#tears of the kingdom #legend of zelda #spoilers

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thatbitchsimone · 11 months

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I also love Angelica and think she's so great - there's another video on her youtube where she says people should only lose their virginity in their 20's - what do you think about this? I agree with her sentiment to an extent and I do think as a woman I was put into many situations that make me feel used now and I am sure this can negatively affect men as well.. I just kind of felt ashamed/worried after watching the video because she said that having sex very young can negatively set you up for life and I agree to an extent but I think there's more nuance to it than a 20 minute youtube video can express.. And also I think the problem more with me is I didn't know to express my boundaries or communicate and people took advantage of that sometimes.. and just how women are socialised etc etc

i was just gonna watch that video but it looks like shes deleted all of those videos (which sucks ass bc she had an amazing video about the tumblr nymphet community and its parallels to nambla and how it has negatively affected us that got seduced by that little subculture back in the mid 2010s) so unfortunately i cant answer this properly bc i dont have the full context and i dont have her arguments etc but i can still give some of my immidiate thoughts on it so here we go

i think losing ur virginity/wait with sex until ur in ur 20s is probably ideal tbh and i would absolutely encourage it for anyone who is in their teens rn and havent had their sexual debut yet. main reason being that u will be old enough to understand sex and its risks and effects and u will have had time to figure ur own body out more and u will most likely have at the very least basic level emotional intelligence and maturity that is required to have safe and healthy and enjoyable sex. like u have just finished puberty and just left teenagehood behind which is a messy and confusing and rough lifestage for all of us and ur now entering adulthood and have gained some perspective etc and u are way more in tune with urself (at the very least compared to when u were a teen) and both ur body and brain will be developed enough to be able to handle sex and have a realistic attitude around it and while ofc u can still be manipulated and u may still be somewhat naive it wont be anywhere near AS easy to manipulate u as it would have been earlier bc thats just how it is. u might still be vulnerable maybe sure but if ur vulnerable now u were even MORE vulnerable when u were a teen. its just how it is. thats how growing up works. u will probably have a way easier and more enjoyable sexual debut in ur 20s bc u will have a headstart in so many ways both physically and emotionally.

BUT im not gonna pretend like its that black and white and simple. Many girls (and boys but im focusing on women here) have perfectly normal and healthy sexual encounters when they are teenagers and i rly dont believe that sex will just automatically traumatize and harm u when ur a teen bc lets be real here, the key here is that u explore sex with UR PEERS, boys and girls within ur own age group, NOT ppl that are 20+ when u are like 14-16. when ur a high schooler and u want to explore sex u do it with other high schoolers. ppl ur own age. I think its perfectly fine and normal to have sex when ur a teen, but that is assuming u are having sex with other teens. NOT ppl that are like 5 years older than u. thats when actual impactful long lasting harm becomes highly likely. feeling like u got used and heartbroken by a boy in ur school aka a boy that is ur peer and ur own age will hurt and suck and will leave an impact on u but its a very different impact than the one u will be left with if u felt taken advantaged of by someone much older (not a teen). the dynamics are whats important here i think.

sex and relationships are messy and yes u can always get fucked up from it thats just how it is. u cant avoid it. u just need to be able to handle it and maybe ur not ready to handle it until ur like 25, thats fine. dont do it then. like if u dont think ur ready, just wait until u are. if ur like 15 and feel ready then go ahead but STICK TO PPL UR OWN AGE when ur that young. u gotta be equals. period.

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girlwithfish · 1 year

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i want to be gifted jewelry thats so romantic i would wear it every day too. never been a jewelry person besides stuff for piercings but i have been wearing rings more often i could have bought some when i went on this day trip last week but i didnt want to spend the moneyy so its ok. never have been a jewelry person but i think if i had a heart pendant that would be the cutest thing. also want to build a quality jewelry collection so i can have like real adult pieces thru out life. idk. femininity is weird bc i dont really feel like im a very feminine person and sometimes feel alienated from it or like im trying to be something im not and i just dont think im a very pretty person in general and i am a girl but i dont always feel like im a girl in the right way. or woman i guess lol 21 yr old woman i guess honestly like ik ur grown after ur 20 really but we really are younger than we think and its crazy cuz 30 is still young tooand thats in like 8-9 yrs for me i hope i am way more adjusted and comfortable and at ease by then bc i am not in my prime rn. idk. anyway i want a heart pendant. i think jewelery is very specific tho cuz it has to fit ur style and taste. i dont own much jewelry besides some necklaces or old stuff i have had as a kid but nothing super adult or quality or real. not trying to be vain or materialistic i just think abt how my mom has so many jewelry boxes of stuff shes collected over the years and i want to have little pieces of things that are important to me and are cute and it also just seems adult to have real jewelry. i also am not into how a lot of jewelery looks on me i will be insecure of how i lookw a necklace. so thats a problem maybe. but i think a heart pendant is cute. also look at stuff on en route yk the jewelery brand that like influencers always get a design deal with and their pieces r cute idk if they r good cuz theyre super affordable so idk is there a catch but they have some cute heart rings and this one heart pendant on a cord that is really cute and maybe more me idk small tangent.. and i havent figured out if im a silver or gold girl but i think silver cuz my earrings are and idk if i like gold that much on me. who knows

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dufrau · 1 year

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Alight bud, it's time.

2, 13, 20, 26 (I know you make, but the details!!), 36, 40 and 48

also 34 makes me cry a little.

Hoo boy lets go!

2. Describe your favorite pair of socks: I hate wearing socks honestly. I am barefoot as much as possible and in the summer I wear vans without socks. But I also like boots a lot so I need socks for those. I guess the pair I wear the most are like mid calf and they are purple and grey striped. Although I did buy some heavier winter socks this year that are like buffalo check plaid, I just havent worn them enough yet to give them the honors.

13. Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil? I like ballpoint pen a lot, for writing and (heretically) for drawing. But I dont have any ballpoint pens right now, I just have gel pens and I kind of hate them. I would take a pencil over a gel pen. I like the idea of fountain pens and I 100% understand why people collect them, but I am too messy I think to make good use of them. My handwriting looks like a serial killer's no matter what implement I use.

20. What kind of math are you best at? Addition and subtraction of single digit numbers. I only made it to Algebra 2 and I barely passed that class. Matrixes broke my brain. I can figure out what 20% is to tip people and that's about as mathy as I prefer to get.

26. Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties? Yes. I am a very good cook, and good enough at following recipes to be a passable baker. The things I can make without really even thinking about it are roast chickens, basically any kind of beef stew or chicken soup, steaks, bbq chicken. Carnitas for tacos. I yolo salads, they always come out good. Heart kind of home cooking kind of stuff. Nothing fancy really. But its good and nobody goes home hungry.

36. What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at? Does beer pong count? Because I have had some triumphant moments at that. I would love to be good at pool but Im just not, and none of the super fast paced stuff works out great for me because number one im getting old and number two i am generally drunk if im playing games. I used to be very good at Big Buck Hunter but it's been a while since I've played so I'm probably pretty rusty.

40. What’s your favorite kind of tree? There was an apricot tree randomly along Pearl street in cambridge near my old apartment, just hanging out over the sidewalk. It was a weird place for a fruit tree, very urban and busy, and it didnt seem like anybody ever picked fruit from it because every year the sidewalk would get just absolutely disgusting with it. But I liked that tree because it was unexpected and neat. There's a sapling in our front yard that I was hoping was an apple tree but Im pretty sure its not. I like fruit trees I guess. It's just wild that you can plant a tree and ignore it and it will just rain fruit down on you. A miracle!

48. Do you have a favorite plate or bowl? No favorite plate. We have a multicolored set of bowls and I am partial to the lighter blue one because a lot of the bowl food I make is orange/reddish and I think it photographs well in a light blue bowl. I have a favorite beer mug, a fat little round keg shaped mug we got at Schilling brewing last fall. And I have a favorite wooden spoon, it's slightly rounded but has a great scraping edge on it for deglazing. And my favorite wine glass is a mason jar.

And BONUS QUESTION 34 yes i can read a clock. Genius confirmed!

(questions from this post)

#asks #a little bit of everything i guess???#this blogger does not math

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this-is-a-dystopian-parable · 1 year

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"i am surrounded by small sprawling piles of paper nostalgia. im moving to nyc in the fall, but this very week j&j are driving a giant silver bullet cargo van across the country. so im purging, the biggest purge of the last 8 years, and packing up all my big things, instruments, fancy clothes and worn-through books. and of course the box of unthrowawayable nostalgia. i havent gone through this box in a long time, and its hitting me hard (doesnt help that im listening to the beatles, complete in chronological order, to maximize my nostalgix state)(btw, what the fuck is with all the clapping in "words of love"?). such a bizarre and arrogant swirlstorm of creativity my friends and i were! there are printouts of old email correspondence from dps, and, mat and more (including a few if i might say so quite beautifully understated love letters to a girl named jen henkin, whom i cant remember at all); there are cassettes and minidiscs of old college bands, early four track noise, a 7th grade "day in the life" documentary, and middle of the night cruise ship piano sessions, complete with elegantly mournful sighs of frustration when i time and time again

20 cant lay down a single perfect chorus of "when i fall in love"; there are 8

years of old datebooks, with entries like "some new pants" and "telepathy/lobster claws/apocalypse"; and there are photos, and bizarre magazine cutout mailings, and old plays and scores, and frantic intoxicated illegibilities.

and above all, there are IDEAS; huge, lofty, horrible, wonderful ideas. looking through my old music notebooks is pretty wrenching when i focus on the specifics, all of these angular, atonal funk lines, unsingable jazz choir music, lots of different ways of notating "noise", 10 pages of random chord progressions created by dps's computer science genius. but the ideas, the ideas them selves are pretty amazing sometimes. there are outlines of complete, bizarre, unrealized music/theater pieces: "the wooden staircase", a ten movement masquerade of robed figures, closed doors, steeplechases and balloon men; a five year conspiracy art piece involving intentional mistakes by a major film company, symphony orchestra, book publisher and new york times columnist; there is "put all your eggs in one basket, put an entire cake in one bag".

all of it tingles and drips with the truth-is-right/stream-of-consciousness-is-truth early twenties idealism, with kerouac, with electric kool-aid, with phish lyrics, stockhausen and stravinsky, with dada and the rat pack and buddhist near-misses. aw god i got plenty old all right, and sure the art has gotten better, but there is that frenetic importance to it all that i miss. there is this urgency to all this creation of the past, this dire stakes, this attitude of love above all and !smash the glasses on the floor! that makes me want to head right out to north beach and find some brandy and a flapper-girl and take the piano out for a post-freebebop spin all over again. all those monkey truths may have had their strings and holes revealed over time, but the exuberant joy is still valid, and essential, and missed.

my favorite thing right now is this scrawled bit from a notebook dating from not too too too long ago, 2002 maybe:

--------------------------

GRANT WRITING TECHNIQUE higher academic-

but enclosed a small sealed envelope special paper unlabeled (or "the truth"?)

-i just have these things in my head and i need some $ to get them out.

i think it would be good to have them

out. ------------- i still kind of wonder if that would work."

Pointless, Dave Malloy, 24 June 2008

#pointless dave malloy

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sleepthinks · 7 months

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Had a bad dream that went on for a bit, and since dreams were why i made this blog in the first place, hopefully getting this out of my head and onto a post will resolve me of this burden.

The first dream last night i dont remember yet, but i know it was about high school and i was relieved to wake up and not have to go through it anymore

The second dream starts off with me going to a bridal shower with my stepmother (who ive been no contact with for nearly 20 years)

As we wait for the food to be ready (indian? I've never had indian irl) the host had a bag of assorted toys for me to look through (lego pieces and figures)

I happily went to sorting the lego pieces out (rather than have to see my stepmother) and the longer i went through the bag, the cooler stuff the host seemed to have. (old star wars lego mini figures including droids and aliens, THEN they had some rare, still in packaging power rangers figures, the whole OG set)

Each new discovery was better than the last so i HAD to keep digging. I didnt know the host (or her fiance) but with toys like these i have NO idea how she was connected to my stepmonster.

Eager to find the next hidden prize, i opened a bag they had stashed underneath their coffee table to find... Another bag? Kinda weird. But this second bag had multiple pockets and zippers. Inside the first pocket was a small tent rolled up? The second pocket had dark red leather gloves. The third pocket had some sort of metal attachment or armor of some kind? At this point i am thoroughly disturbed and have this awful dread setting in. I thought i was finding cool exciting treasures but the tone of the dream has changed and now i know ive come across something secret and dark.

I join the rest of the bridal shower at a dinner table as they line up to get scoops of indian food (again, idk how this is in my dream, i havent really had indian food irl)

Listening to the strangers around the table talk, i begin to suspect that the host and her fiance are into ttrpgs, things like Dungeons and Dragons, and they joke about going so far as wearing costumes, but the dread inside me grows deeper. Remember im being dragged along to this event by my stepmother, who is the type of Feisty-Christ-y that would consider things like D&D and Harry Potter to be witchcraft and therefore satanic and evil. Im so uncomfortable in the dream im dying to evaporate on the spot rather than be associated with this woman.

Just then, the host woman's fiance makes a surprise appearance (do grooms go to bridal showers? Idk) and as he's greeting the other women gathered there, his eyes scan over me and i instantly know he knows i know and he's PISSED

*Something happens here i dont quite remember. I think my first alarm goes off to wake me up and i smash snooze on that bitch*

Now in the dream I'm outside somewhere i do not recognize. I'm on a town street, with business buildings on either side. The side im on has a white building with blue trim and a sign on top that says "Biggest Lies." The building directly across from it has a red trim and sign that reads "Littlest Lies." In the dream it is known (by dream logic/knowledge) that these are government buildings. Next to the Biggest Lies building is a sort of petting zoo, but in place of animals the yard just has the melted wreckages of various different vehicles.

Searching around the wreckage sites i pick up a small hatchet, thats completely gold. Instead of a smooth, rounded handle, the hatchet has a groove down the grip, like something else is supposed to slot into it somehow.

Slowly cruising down through the street in between the buildings are several large cars, maybe on parade? They are decorated in signs and tinsel and flags. All of these cars/trucks are on large wheels and the drivers are men with cowboy hats and sunglasses and clean white suits.

I don't understand what this parade is about, like what political stance they are trying to exclaim, or what the reason for their celebration is, but i know that this hatchet is how i need to defend myself from these people.

I cross the street into a building next to the Littlest Lies building. Even though this building looks like a store front, once you get inside you are met with a solid, blank wall. Turning almost completely around i notice a small, narrow stairway that winds up and around itself leading up to a second floor. As i climb the stairs the wall has these large thin gold plates, almost like tapestries, stretching from floor to ceiling. These panels are engraved, but in a language i cant read.

The stairs lead up to the second floor landing with a room that's even smaller than the entryway on the first floor. This room has even more of the gold panels on the walls, but instead of being neatly spaced along the stairwell, they are plastered haphazardly all over the walls of the room. In the middle of the floor there is a small altar with dying candles in a circle on the floor. On top of this altar is a small, palm sized golden puck. Its like a small circle with smaller circles stacked on top, like a wedding cake, but could fit in your hand and is only 2-3 inches high. Obviously i pick up this mystical treasure, even though the room I'm in feels like a ritual space of a crazy person. The underside of this puck has a silver circle that feels almost magnetic. Making my way back down the stairs i throw the puck into the golden panels. The dream logic was if i could knock one of these panels off the wall, perhaps there would be a passage i could continue down rather than go back outside to the parade of hostile people.

Having no luck and nowhere else to go, i have to return to the street parade that is now even more agitated. They've set some more of their cars on fire, leaving more melted carcasses along the street.

Fearing for my life, but also afraid that these people will take the hatchet or golden puck from me, i grip the small relic tight and the pointed end digs into my palm. Like a spring loaded toilet paper holder, the object pushes back against my grip and then extends way out, creating a nearly meter long rod thats end is now a sharp point. Like the hatchet, this rod also has an uneven shaft, like it's been split in two and has another piece that would slide into it.

Using my new spear-like weapon, i start stabbing the tires of the remaining cars in the parade. The strange people were aggravated before, and now they are murderous. Not willing to go down without a fight, i brandish both of my golden weapons at the crowd closing in around me.

*my alarm goes off again. I've been saved from this nightmare but my mind is still fully pulled back into the dream, this cycle repeats several times, with a different reality each time*

Eventually I'm back at the bridal party but this time I'm separated from the women from earlier and on the opposite side of the house. The groom from before- (lets give him a name. Ivan? Ivan sounds like a murderer right?) - ivan has recruited three of his friends to show up and these men are confronting me with the same murderous intent of the crowd from the parade. I discover the truth: Ivan has a sinister power, to transport his group into the different realities they play "D&D" in. But his group is sadistic and cruel and any dimension they move to they treat horribly. They murder and rob everyone they come across because they know in their own world they wont face consequences. But now that i know their secret, they cant let me leave and risk that i would expose them as the awful people they are. One of Ivan's buddies seems to hesitate about murdering a child. (lets give this guy a name too. Don? Don seems fine.) Ivan reaches out and places a hand on Don's shoulder. Still glaring at me, he whispers his spell and shoves his friend to the side. Don's eyes roll to the back of his head as he screams and falls to his knees. Before he can hit the ground, his body disappates into whatever dimension Ivan called him to.

Frantic again I turn and run, but im stuck in a house im unfamiliar with and im outnumbered. Panicking as i move through the hallway, I'm holding onto the wall to keep my scared self from falling. As i round a corner, the wall i was clutching splinters apart and I'm left holding a new relic. This one is long and wooden, with a wide, curved end like the stock of a rifle. Unfortunately the other end doesnt have a gun, it just ends with the same notched grooves that the previous weapons had. WHAT am i supposed to slot into these??

I don't remember what happened next. At one point i find another wooden piece that threads onto the wooden stock like a silencer/barrel, but theres still no actual gun pieces.

Eventually my final alarm goes off and i have to drag myself to work. But all morning i cant shake the feelings of dread and fear that were so strong in the dreams

#dreams #sleep #sleepthinks #nightmares

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invisiblyvisiblejay · 9 months

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the like. constant obsession with losing weight is so like. like obviously it's bad bc it can encourage rly unhealthy behavior and there's more to being healthy than being under a certain weight but like. also (and i don't know if this is talked abt as much?) it makes it like. extremely hard to tell if ur underweight or losing too much. like. i have been Rapidly Losing Weight for like. unknown reasons and everything i look at will tell me what i should be UNDER but no one will tell me what i should be OVER or when im underweight enough for it to be like. really concerning. AND like. i don't have an eating disorder and i never have but my eating is juuuust disordered enough that it's super super super extremely not helpful for every fucking thing i look at to tell me i should like. lose weight or not overeat or etc etc bc like. i need to gain weight. im 20 years old and 5'3 and im under 100lbs. that's not healthy but no one will tell me HOW not healthy that is or like. how concerned i should be. like yeah okay if you've lost 10% of ur body weight in under 6 months (which i have) ur supposed to go to the doctor but like. i don't know. and then now im trying to like. track what i eat so that when i DO go to the doctor i have actual shit to show them and even all of that is just so fucking concerned with telling u ur eating too much and not if ur eating too little. kind of really fucking frustrating lol. also also i feel like no one is really that concerned about it??? (except for some of my friends who absolutely freaked the fuck out about but they were like. kind of dramatic about it i stopped telling them abt it lol). like ive lost over 10lbs in like 5 months?????? and like i told my mom and she was like. idk i was like 100 when i was ur age and that's like?? okay?? but if i fucking gained 10lbs in 5 months everyone would freak the fuck out. idk. my bmi is so low rn that i qualify for anorexia??????? and i cant figure out if im like. overreacting abt this like part of the reason i havent gone to the doctor is i feel like theyll be like 🤷 eat more 🤷 switch ur meds 🤷 which is. not helpful. like yeah i know i have to eat more thank u. idk i am just kind of frustrated lol like yeah being skinny is good and whatever but this is not healthy and it's kind of concerning that people don't care. i havent even told my dad bc im like. pretty sure he'd be like??? why is that bad??? idk. anyways. im gonna go to the doctor at some point i havent decided if im going this week or next week so we'll see hopefully i live lol

#cw weight #cw food #according to google either im like fine or i have cancer lol #i don't know #my psychiatrist isn't even THAT concerned #plus like kind of sucks that i have like. ideal body type that everyone wants and im. probably not doing well lol #also i am constantly very tired and sleeping like shit might be connected who knows <3 #anyways yeah that's my current medical concern lol #i went from having zero physical issues to going to college and gaining like 5 it's so fun #almost all of them are chronic and have been around my entire life my family just didn't realize i had them lol

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earthbound-girl · 1 year

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Im kinda Pathetic (First Post)

So I've had so many accounts in the past and I always delete them. I can't stay away from here. It's the only place I feel safe writing my thoughts. To just be.

so this is my first post on my newest account. I am an earthbound-girl name is amber. I am a 27-year-old college student. I have depression and anxiety(diagnosed) but I suspect I have ADHD and or autism(undiagnosed.) sometimes I'm afraid that I'm just looking at other people's symptoms and trying to make it my own. I am extremely insecure and well lonely. Im the person that people dont see and for the longest time i was okay with that. Ive felt Ive never belonged. In my family, in my friends, in my body. Its like I'm missing a home that isn't here.

I have traumas and issues, mostly because of dealing with my family. I am the eldest of the household and have been used as a therapist, a parent, a go-between, and a crutch. I have so many responsibilities that I feel like it's gonna crush me. I have trauma from being bullied at school, and emotional and religious trauma from my stepdad. Who I didn't know was my stepdad till I was 13.

I've never had a relationship that wasn't an nsfw one and even then it wasn't relationship, just two horny people. I'm tired of being that way, so I've deleted my last NSFW blog. I've never been kissed, or held, or cuddled, or missed. If i got into a relationship right now Im not sure what id do. what do you do in relationships? I want to date. well..i dont want to be lonely. I honestly would like to have a friends to lovers type of relationship. But thats a pipe dream for someone like me.

I am Bisexual, cis-gendered, and I think poly. I figured poly a while back but I just didn't want to admit it. I came out of the closet when I was 20/21. I had no choice cause I almost died because I held in so long. Cisgendered is kind of a toss-up. Cause I would like to be a boy but I like being a girl. I've seen so many gender labels that at this point I just don't identify with a label. I wish I could bind but I still live with family and I don't want to to hear the stuff that could be said. I wish i could cut my hair short boycut, but last time i didnt feel comfortable. I'm still growing it out.

I am a mix of my family, past friends, and people I see on tv, personalities. So i never feel like me. Im not me. just a jumbled mess. I'm easily influenced and I hate that. I want to change and I want to be me, but its hard when you are in a place that wont let you.

I dream of owning my own car, my own house, and living alone. (Yes even though I'm lonely, I want to live alone. its a whole thing) I want stuff that is mine, things that I dont have to share. I would live in the forest in a cottage. surrounded by my books, being able to make the place my own. Maybe be able to grow a garden and to forge and take walks along a creek or pond and just live so sweetly.

I basically info dumped alot of info about myself. But i dont care. I just want to say it even if its gonna get lost in the void.

I want to be me. I want to be selfish. I want to sit in my own living room. Drive my own car. I want what I find cute, and pretty. I want to feel pretty, and wanted, and desired, and loved. I want to be happy. Because its been so long since I've felt that. Since i havent cried cause I hate my situation, cause im slowly starting to hate my family, cause im so tired of just being.

I will be happy one day. I will have everything I want and more. I'm just not sure where to start.

#mental health #personal #my rumble rant

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midnight-basker · 2 years

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9/19-20/20 Alright. Lets see where Im at.

I washed all my things in the river Watched them float on down, down the river

The last time I did this was-, god I almost said 6 months ago but July was just 7 weeks ago... Feels so far away.

I hope Im at a better place by the time July is 6 months behind me.

...

Work has been the same. I may be on the precipice of a promotion, one that, if it truly happens, would put me in a position of being able to move out while still supporting my family and myself.

I already have a location Id like to move to, between where my family is and work. Could be nice, if it happens. My family's given me their support, the only issue is the reality of money unfortunately.

Got into a new game recently, a popular MMO that many people have been egging me into playing. Eventually I caved and I have to admit, Im having fun playing it. Its fun being able to connect with my friends in new ways because of it too.

A few weeks ago in the summer, I met up with an old high school friend to celebrate her birthday. And while her friends were more on the outer ring of my social circle, it was nice catching up with familiar faces.

I visited Canada! That was actually really fun, exploring Montreal with family I have up there, eating the food, being able to say I drove there. I still plan to visit the Niagara Falls so it was good to also have this under my belt too.

My cats are doing well, I love them with all of my entire being. I like to think that they love me too, yknow.

...

I've... I've been trying to. Hm. Im trying to put together the words but I want to say multiple things at once and Im not sure how to articulate it.

Something changed recently. Not anything major, not anything I can undeniably prove, but something changed. A lens shifted, a synapse fired, a shift in spirits or a course correction of my life. I dont know. But I realized that I've... been walking around shattered. Not broken, not torn, not... any other one-worded metaphor. I was, and am, a shattered facsimile of the person I was a year ago, fuck, a few months ago.

Its important that I say shattered. Because of the meaning behind the word that comes to mind for me. The fragility of broken glass, the sensation of holding shards of hardened clay, the sight of looking into a mirror and seeing the metaphorical hairline fractures in your minds eye as you stare yourself in the eyes.

...Ive been sitting at this line for 30 minutes and I dont know what else to say about the matter to be honest. Im still processing it, trying to figure out what I do from here. What to make of it all, the me of the now, the me of the past, the me of the future.

There are some old practices Id like to get back in to. Tarot reading and origami mostly, shards of myself that I didnt know had broken off until recently. There are some places Im planning on visiting in the Fall and Winter, Ive been looking forward to them. Funnily enough my dreams came back too, didn't really talk about that did I? How for a while I havent had dreams.

To think, when they came back, you were right there in all of them.

And then you sent me those messages, like you already knew what was happening...

...

I miss you.

I miss you, and I wish we could talk again.

I found an old playlist you made for me years ago and Ive been listening to it... Stupid of me to not appreciate it until now. You've got such a great taste in music, a lot of the tracks in there are still relevant. Its been nice listening to it on my drive home, expanding my own sense of music.

Thank you, for making it for me.

...

Im glad the weather has been getting cooler. Im ready for summer to end. I may be a leo but Im also the "light that shines in the abyss", my place is within the cool dark rather than the blazing light.

Jokes, mostly. Im just happy for the cooler weather and vibrant colors of Autumn. Looking forward to wearing my jackets and boots again.

I hope that the next time I write one of these, Ill be at a better place. Im not doing too bad now, of course, but... yeah.

#me #personal #important

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boonki · 3 years

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“You look absolutely horrible.” For the prompts!

OKAY I KNOW YOU ASKED THIS LIKE THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO i am so sorry ive had to work a ton lately and have just been so tired, i havent written at all recently

BUT

here you go!! some nice sleepy vibes from yours truly at 2:20 am, apologies if there are any mistakes

_______

The only light on in their shared kitchen space is above the sink, drowning the space in a burnt orange color, like the warm glow of a fire. As he stumbles into the room, Obi-wan nearly misses Anakin sitting at the table, fiddling with droid parts, back curled over and head drooped to study a piece of machine in his hands. How he’s even able to see is far beyond Obi-wan, but he’s learned to let it go throughout the years.

Obi-wan turns the knob on the stove and shuffles the kettle to check for water, startling Anakin out of his meditative state.

“Oh, Obi-wan.” Anakin looks up at him and squints, exhaustion forming neat lines around the corners of his eyes. “I didn’t know you were awake.”

Before reaching up to the cabinet for a well-loved mug, Obi-wan catches how pale Anakin is, how dark purple blooms around his eyes like bruises, how he seems to shrink into himself. Obi-wan has seen Anakin look tired before, especially when he was younger and put so much pressure on himself to perfect his schoolwork, but this is on the particularly bad end of things. Anakin’s hair is greasy, the long curls pushed back and tucked behind his ears, and the small blanket draped around his shoulders does nothing to hide the fact that Anakin is still wearing the same shirt from two days ago. He looks absolutely horrible.

“You look absolutely horrible,” Obi-wan says, the mug settling on the countertop with a clink. “Have you even tried to sleep?”

Anakin frowns. “Hey, you don’t look much better. We’re both awake at what,” his head swivels around as he looks for a clock, and finding none, guesses, “four in the morning? What’s your excuse, old man?”

Obi-wan hums noncommittally at that, amusement assuaging the growing worry nagging at his chest. He pulls a tea bag out of the flimsy cardboard box left out on the counter, and rips the packaging open, letting the sachet dangle into the cup. He lets the silence linger.

With a softer tone, Anakin tries again. “You can’t sleep either?”

Obi-wan pours the boiling water into the mug, watching the color turn into a deep shade of purple, and he gently bounces the bag up and down, encouraging it to steep. “I think you’ll find, my dear padawan, that I’ve evolved past the need for sleep.”

Anakin’s eyebrows flatten, and he snorts. “I’ll make sure to pass that along to Cody, I’m sure he’ll agree with you.”

A smile tugs at Obi-wan’s mouth. “No, I,” he pauses, taking a breath, “I keep waking up. Figured a cup of tea would help.”

All of the mirth vanishes from Anakin’s face, leaving only unadulterated worry. Obi-wan looks down at his tea. They both know a euphemism for nightmares when they hear one by now, considering they’ve created half of them on their own. Fighting a gruesome, bloody, and endless war will do that to a person. Fighting a gruesome, bloody, and endless war where a good portion of the deaths are on your hands, on your conscience, even more so.

The air is still between them, but dense with emotion. Obi-wan rarely admits his nightmares to anyone, and by the myriad of expressions racing through Anakin’s features, he can tell Anakin is struggling with the right response.

Obi-wan sips his tea.

“Sometimes, I,” Anakin starts, clearing his throat, “I wish I knew them better, my men who died. I see them in my dreams.” He’s staring down at his hands, either as a distraction or remembering the blood he’s washed off. The droid parts sit motionlessly beneath them.

Obi-wan leans back on the counter, holding the steaming mug up to his chin. “So do I,” he nearly whispers, grateful for Anakin’s admission, his attempt to empathize with Obi-wan. He wants to say more, wants to sit down and let out the demons haunting his dreams, but he’s afraid that they’d rip all his bandages on the way out and tear him apart completely. It’s easier, he thinks, to keep it all inside, contained, controlled. But in the dim and molten light of the kitchen, with his face hidden in the shadows, he wants to be vulnerable. He also wants Anakin to get some rest.

“Do you want to come sleep with me?” Obi-wan asks, eyes darting up to Anakin’s face.

Anakin’s eyes go wide, and he straightens up in his seat. “What?”

He suddenly realizes what he’s said, and he can feel his ears burn. “No, not like that.” He dips the tea bag in and out of the mug, and Anakin relaxes a bit, though still wary, looking somehow disappointed. “When you were a youngling, you used to crawl into bed with me when you couldn’t sleep. You thought I never noticed.”

“You remember that?”

Obi-wan smiles to himself, gazing wistfully down into his mug. “Of course, dear one. You weren’t the only one who slept better.”

Anakin’s eyebrows are knitted together, his lips parted. “Oh.” He looks thoughtful. “Sure, then. Your room?”

Warmth floods Obi-wan’s chest in anticipation, not at all feeling guilty about his careful manipulation. He knows Anakin could never turn down helping others, it’s in his nature.

Anakin’s little droid project is completely forgotten as Anakin stares at him for an answer.

“Considering I don’t quite feel like tripping over half an engine, yes, my room.” Obi-wan takes one final sip of his tea and sets it by the sink, treading over the cold floor back into his room.

With a scoot of his chair, and loud, heavy footsteps, Anakin follows, sliding Obi-wan’s door shut behind him, leaving the pair in complete darkness. Obi-wan is still in his sleep shirt and shorts from before, so he slips into bed, pulling back the covers for Anakin to join him. He hears the soft thump of clothing dropping to the floor and then a dip in the mattress next to him.

Obi-wan lays on his back, as he assumes does Anakin.

Then there’s a shuffle as Anakin readjusts, and with a slight startle, Obi-wan feels a bare arm rest against his chest, a face in his neck, a leg thrown over his. It’s odd, but rather nice. Obi-wan doesn’t remember the last time he felt so safe.

“Is this okay?” Anakin mumbles into the crook of his neck, blowing hot air over his collarbones.

“Yes.” Obi-wan faintly wonders if Anakin can feel his heartbeat.

“What were your nightmares about?”

Obi-wan considers this. Blood, so much blood, headless bodies strewn over a hopeless landscape, their heads coming to life and blaming their deaths on him, his call, his decisions. Qui-gon, standing in the flames, yelling at him to be better, to have saved him, saved his men, to save Anakin. Stillness, as he stands utterly alone and deserted, everyone finalizing realizing they were better off without him, because he is worthless, unlovable, tainted-

“The war.” Obi-wan answers, his voice cracking. “And you?”

When no reply comes, Obi-wan wraps his arm around Anakin’s back, tracing his spine, the flesh warm and smooth underneath his fingertips. Anakin’s breaths come slow and even, and his hand twitches once.

Already asleep, then.

Obi-wan bites a lip to keep from chuckling. Maybe this is the trick to get him to sleep. He rests his cheek against his hair, presses a light kiss to the top of his head.

“I dream of losing you, dear one,” he whispers out to no one, letting the honesty linger in the darkness above them. He trusts the nighttime to keep his secrets.

When they both wake up in the morning, Obi-wan is sure there will be some level of embarrassment from cuddling, from cracking open their hard exteriors to each other. They’ll probably be sent out to the frontlines and never speak of this again.

He feels the sturdy muscles of Anakin’s sides, the dip of his waist and rise of his hips.

For now, Obi-wan holds him, keeps him safe from the torment of his own brain, and lets him get some much needed sleep.

___

Light billows out from underneath the door when Obi-wan wakes, morning having come and gone long ago.

Anakin has curled further into him, practically seeping into his bones. There’s a leg thrown over his waist, face completely smooshed in his neck, and his arm drapes over his chest, Anakin’s palm cupping the side of his face. Delicate snores come from Anakin’s nose, and Obi-wan’s neck is hot from Anakin’s breath. Obi-wan’s hand is settled in the small of Anakin’s back, the other arm thrown up above Obi-wan’s head.

A languid grin finds its home on Obi-wan’s face, sleep tugging at his edges. He hasn’t felt so well rested in years.

Not wanting to wake Anakin, Obi-wan flutters shut his eyes, and lets himself drift back off, soaking in the feeling of love and security that pool together in his heart.

He can feel Anakin breathing steadily on top of him, peacefully.

The war will have to wait.

#boonki writes #obikin #obiwan #obiwan kenobi #anakin skywalker #anakin #star wars #prompts #ask #sonda walkin #i hope this makes sense #i wrote this at 2 am whats good #fanfic #hurt/comfort #sleep deprivation #obiwan & anakin #obi-wan/Anakin #THEY JUST NEED SOME FUKIN SLEEP DUDE #let them cuddle

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justanotherqueergirl · 3 years

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I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

okay so ive been on tumblr for at least 10 years and never make my own post but something has really been bothering me about legacies and the writers.

i keep seeing a lot of posts that mention hope being a minor or being 17 and i totally understand why people would think that but:

HOPE IS DEFINITELY AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD AND HERES WHY:

she was 15 in the final season of the originals and i am about 95% sure that there were supposed to be 2 years between the originals finale and the start of legacies. that puts hope at 17 at the start of the series. josie and lizzie turn 16 in episode 1x06. their birthday is listed as march 15th, 2014 on the wikia. hopes birthday is listed as may 2nd, 2012. so even though it isnt mentioned, we can assume that hope turned 18 before the s1 finale and if not then before the start of s2 since s2 starts after summer. then in 2x15 we see the twins 17th birthday we know that hope is most definitely 18 at this point and will be 19 soon since the twins birthday is mid march and hopes is early may. and from here on out they havent mentioned any dates or months as far as i can remember, but there are 20 episodes between the twins 17th birthday and the episode where hope dies. there are only 48 days between the two birthdays. there is a three week time jump in 3x05. that is a 21 day jump which leaves 27 days. now even if we exclude that episode with the 3 week time jump, there is no way it is possible that they havent covered 27 days in 19 episodes. im not going to go back to rewatch all of them right now but i know just off the top of my head that there are multiple episodes where they clearly span more than a single day. so in those 20 episodes, hope had to have turned 19 at one point or another. there is no possible way she is still 18. i honestly dont know how because it is really not that hard to figure out but it is insanely obvious that the writers dont even know how old their main character is.

basically tldr

HOPE MIKAELSON IS AT LEAST 19 YEARS OLD!

#legacies #hope mikaelson #lizzie saltzman #josie saltzman #legacies cw #cw legacies

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generalexcuse · 3 years

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Alright. I am beating a dead horse here but taking time off of this show and fandom did not work. This will be the last time I ever say something about it but it’s upsetting to me so I need to vent. And to everyone saying “You are an adult man and this is fiction, why are you so obsessed? Weirdo. Learn to differentiate between fiction and reality.” I am going to address these notions as well as other problems I am having here. But really, Inuyasha was one of my first Anime, I have many dear memories and especially Rin was one of my all time favourite characters. Seeing her being mistreated like this upsets me. Ofc it does because if you watch something in formative years it’s not just fiction like a boring sitcom you watch now. Shows and characters are important to people and to simply dismiss it like that even if they would have been equally upset if it wouldnt have become canon, is infuriating. Really this is just therapeutic for me because even after weeks it’s still so baffling to me. Also please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. I am not a native speaker.

So the problem is obviously Sessrin and how it’s done because while I absolutely dont agree with this pairing, it would have been fine if it wasnt like it is.

In the original show, Rin is an 8 yo child and her entire character reflects just that. She behaves like a child and depends on others. She has also been traumatized, doesnt speak at the beginning of the show and dies twice. Both times she is saved by or because of Sesshomaru. In many ways, while she has survival skills on her own, she depends on his presence alone to keep danger away. He also leaves her with trustworthy humans at the end but stays in her life as a protector. Now I like the original dynamic. It’s sweet, innocent and both characters grow because of it. Rin can work through her traumatic experiences, learns to trust others and Sesshomaru becomes a better person. What happens afterwards only happens offscreen right until Rin gives birth to his children at the crippling old age of 15. 15. My lil sis is 16 now and couldnt consent to something like that. And she is mature af. It’s ridiculous. My blood boils just typing that shit out. And if you give me the ‘it’s legal in Japan’ excuse. In Germany a 14 yo can be with a 20 yo sexually. Still not okay in societies eyes and on tv it’s never shown as something positive. It’s even explicitly forbidden for authority figures like teachers or protectors to be with their protégé before the age of 18 because the chances of even unintentional grooming are too high.

Now lets take a quick break and discuss how this kind of relationship usually plays out in other fictional pieces. A minor with an adult is something that is being portrayed at times and I dont have a problem with that. The problem is how it’s being done in Yashahime. And I dont mean the nonexisting character development but the fact that even in adult fiction this type of relationship isnt depicted positively. And this show is for young adults and teens that will exist way after all the discourse as the official sequel to Inuyasha. A cult anime. Meaning that in the future young people will watch it. Just like many still watch Inuyasha to this day. It’s on Netflix for fucks sake. Just to preface what comes next. Some people say, “But cant you differentiate between reality and fiction?!?!?!” Adults can but younger people havent developed this ability to the same extent. What happened to Rin was statutory r*pe in the USA, illegal even in Germany and should have been depicted as such unless the showrunners and fandom are okay with watching it without criticism or deconstruction. At best it was done with the intention to please the fanbase but really it’s neglectful to anyother part of the present and future audience. Not even most Animes do that. And I get that Sessriners arent into that shit in real life and an adult show could have gone this route because the viewers understand and add the criticism in their heads. Not ideal but whatever to me. But a YA show to go this route is so wrong on so many levels. The younger viewer who will watch this show in the following years might subconsciously internalize that this is acceptable under certain conditions when it’s not criticized properly on the show. That lowers their alertness when an adult actually starts to groom them. How dense do you have to be to assume that the lack of criticism on this YA show is a good thing?? Not everyone who will ever watch this show is an adult or capable of the same reasoning.

But another thing: for the same reason r*pe isnt depicted in a positive light, these types of relationships arent either. Because it’s not a positive thing and most people and showrunners dont want to see or create it as positive. Even in adult fiction, even in other anime, the media critizes and deconstructs what it’s showing because normally the showmakers dont approve but show it for realisitc or dramatic reasons. the same sessrin storyline would fit a fucking horror or thriller series. Just change the music and show it all. No showmakers in their right mind would go “Aye we got a r*pe scene coming up, lets put romantic music and have a pink filter over it.” “But it’s a different time and culture!” People will say and I agree but to have the audacity to assume that back then it was okay or that in todays Japan it’s okay, is fucked up. Think about it for a second. That’s so fucked up to think. Even if the society back then or in Japan thinks it’s okay, does it make it okay? 15 yo girls werent able to consent to adults and bear their children back then. They had to. They were raised with the expectations and they simply grew up thinking that it was the normal thing. But that doesnt make it right. That’s just societal grooming which did not prepare them in any way or allowed them the human dignity that they would have deserved. To now act like it’s all cool to just show the “positive” aspects or to twist it into something positive is so fucked up. Child Brides are a fucked up concept and to portray it as anything else is fucked up and also undermines the experience many girls still have to make. period.

I heard people say that it’s okay to portray it in this way because “Sesshomaru is not human!!!1″ and that’s correct. He is not. BUT, it’s not about being human but about maturity, consens, and independency. Him being a yokai makes it worse imo because there is an obvious power discrepancy. But in this particular fiction a good relationship could have been established (Kagome and Inuyasha for example) on those foundations but they did not because I can only assume they wanted Sesshomaru to smash and the show to pick up at a point where the other characters arent too old to be cool.

“What’s with Sango and Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha?? It’s the same!” No it’s not. Rin was 8 at the beginning of the show. Kagome was 15 and Sango was 16-17 when they met their significant others. If you now tell me that you think 8 to be comparable to 15-17, I must ask you to get a reality check. Kagome’s and Sango’s relationships were slowburns starting when they already were able to have sexual and romantical feelings. Rin was a child. And Kagome did not kiss Inuyasha until they knew each other for a long ass period of time and bonded as friends and maybe more. Sesshomaru and Rin never were friends in the same way that Kagome and Inuyasha were because the maturity levels are way off. No adult is friends with a little child in the same way they are friends with their adult friends. And normally you dont grow into such a friendship but in the rare case you do, it’s not when she is 15 but maybe 20 or 25.

Last but not least, Rin is not a character to the audience the same way Kagome or Sango are. Why? Because she was never shown as an adult or 3 Dimensional character to the audience. We know her as a child who wants to be with her trusted group. She is naive, but tough and doesnt have any motivation or drive on her own outside her group. Like every child she clung to the adults around her and her world outside of this group was nonexisting. Kagome wanted to be successful in school, Sango was a demon hunter and wanted to find her brother. Those are motivations and traits that dont circle around the love interest. Rin never had those because she was not developed to that point. Because she was a child and her entire existence was to develop Sesshomaru and to perhaps give the viewer a character to simply adore. What we see is of her: Mistreated child, -> Dead child -> Child being looked after and healing, -> Child not being homeless anymore -> ????? -> Teenager getting knocked up, pumping out main characters and then getting yeeted into a tree.

This is not the way you treat a beloved character. There is no dignity to her character. “But she is fictional!!1″ Yes she is. But please show me a show that treats its child characters like this without criticizing it.

I would have loved to see her grow as her own person. Go on her own adventures or learning a craft or developing meaningful bonds with other characters her age. Forming ideas that dont revolve around Sesshomaru alone. You know her being 3 Dimentional and not just there to pump out main characters. And if she then with 20 or 25 met Sesshomaru again and thought he was the hottest shit, I would have been fine with it. Not happy but fine. But in the little time we saw her as ‘not a child’, she still behaved the way she did before.

#anti sessrin

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