this-is-a-dystopian-parable
Who made this puppet?
obscure Malloysical blog ~ any pronouns ~ reposts from Dave's blog Pointless ~ ask me about Clown Bible or Don't Stop Me or Moby Dick
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"balaga" is such a funny song. here comes a character we've never heard of before. there's an entire song about how cool he is, and it kicks ass. then he's never mentioned again.
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Preliminary Round 3
Balaga:
gosipy old neighbor lady but make it old drunk russian man. unbothered king, just here to drive his troika real fucking fast and drink
Demon Voice:
He just wants a hug, and he's great at counting.
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Preliminary Round 3
Blue Wizard:
REALLY COOL + one of the great wizards here to save our souls from the great mediocrity + can fight you in a special singing wizard way + speaks Italian
Toby:
He has that angry chihuahua energy that could destabilise his opponent
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Preliminary Round 3
Jessica:
I mean, we’ve all seen her "white woman goes crazy" video, right? What more is there to say
Andrey:
tore my heart asunder in a single scene....my complex blorbo
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Preliminary Round 3
Marya:
listen she may not look like much but when she got mad she got Mad. i feel like those of lesser mental strength would be intimidated by her. and i think she’d probably be able to form some alliances since she’s described as “strict yet kind”
Sarah:
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Preliminary Round 2
Jesus:
Denisov:
CAN HOLD A GUN? HAS HELD GUN? GUN? has fought in great napoleon war….
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Preliminary Round 2
Moby Dick Vs Starchild
Moby Dick:
it's a fucking whale also a portent of doom, yes it gets punked (spoilers) but the cycle of vengeance continues and (more spoilers) it kills everyone except for one lucky twink this whale hates you personally and will come to your house just to cause damage
Starchild:
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Preliminary Round 2
Soldier:
She’s a soldier, I’m assuming she can fight
Judas:
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Preliminary Round 2
Sonya Rostova:
shes my meow meow.
Pearl White:
She is the one who leads us through the dimming of the light and the dark (she already died, but not yet) in her Aspect of The Dancer and The Ghost in the Photograph. She's Lady Usher and she just one more story to her daughter Roxie, and its the story that almost goes on forever, (and she's told it before) and that the last thing she thinks about when she dies in her Aspect of The Victim. She has all the things you must collect to enact your revenge against her. this is a DEATH BATTLE. And Gelsey from Ghost Quartet is its undisputed steward.
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Preliminary Round 1
Old Prince Bolkonsky:
Crazy
The Dragon:
Listen to "Olde English" and tell me why she shouldn't win. She's a venomous dragon AND a scholar and was able to kill Beowulf. Queen behavior honestly
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Preliminary Round 1
Harper Perkins:
it would be funny to watch this failgirl fail even harder. i wanna see her dropkick pierre
Hrothgar:
Drinks a lot.
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Preliminary Round 1
Wolf:
I know we don't know much about them yet but they're the big bad wolf. That has to count for something.
Anatole:
male manipulator and rizzmaster supreme. could bullshit his way through an unfortunate situation
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Preliminary Round 1
Mo:
MO! IS! PECULIAR! Mo is the peak of autistic rep in media. They have the craftspersonship to construct the beloved bolometer (with a little help from their dad) and the quick thinking to kill the DJ in one version of the show. They seem to be fairly amicable when it comes to alliances, having teamed up with the other two best neurodivergent ace-spec nerds at plain springs high (All the headcanons are coming out today). They can probably solve most probelems with an E-Flyer and has survived unlawful custody twice (1. stocks and 2. evil bachanal trance) which shows resillience
Starbuck:
Has a gun. Runs this whole ship and honestly is the only one keeping things together. She's the smartest person here. Starr Busby.
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MALLOY CHARACTER DEATH BATTLE BEGINS!
We are currently in the preliminary rounds! Characters with only one submission are going head-to-head to whittle down the contestants before the proper battle begins.
Rules:
All characters must be from a musical associated with Dave Malloy
Matchups are decided based on number of submissions & a random number generator
Play nice! No harassment/bullying/etc
Please read the propaganda when voting, it's no fun if people only vote characters they've heard of :(
Think of each fight as a one-on-one duel, any skills and weapons are fair game, but no calling for backup!
Ties will result in the formation of teams
You may send extra propaganda in asks while a poll is still running
Preliminary Bracket:
We are going to be posting each round of the preliminaries a day at a time (so, four polls a day), as soon as they're all up we'll link them all here! If you asked to be tagged, we'll tag people as soon as all the preliminaries are up.
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clutching you by the shoulders. have you heard about Little God of davemalloyoctet fame
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Not Rach pulling the classic depression move of making breakfast and then immediately going back to bed
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People think musicals are less serious than straight plays. But when you’re in a musical the directors are constantly yelling at you to do something perfectly, and when you’re in a play the directors are telling you to listen to an Elvis song
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