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#i also LOVE the way even bits that resonated the most with people are so different from one reader to the next
picnokinesis · 2 days
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Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)
So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.
But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.
So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!
So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.
So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:
Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.
They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?
And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.
I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?
We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."
Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.
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patrice-bergerons · 2 years
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I'm really meant to be asleep but I've just gotta say I love each and every one of you who commented on I never left.
I wrote this story to be intentionally open to interpretation and seeing all the different things you all took out from the story and all the different ways in which you connected to the story has brought me so much fucking joy you have no idea. 💖
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vadlings · 5 months
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Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi
Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.
Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.
The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):
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The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.
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In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)
Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.
I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.
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The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.
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The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)
Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.
Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.
To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.
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astrologylunadream · 4 months
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How They Want to Please You [SPICY] 💌🌹🫦 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)
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Hey it's Lunadream~💋 This is a reading on your person and how exactly they would want to please you and their approach to that!!🤭❤️‍🔥 hope you find your message💌
(This is a spicy reading🔥 Some piles more intense than others)
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~❤️
Pile 1💋
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Pile 2🔗
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Pile 3❤️
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Pile 4🍒
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Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> ❤️‍🔥
Pile 1💋
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Sign energy: Long, Threat, Marriage, Therapy, Stress, Jupiter, Libra, 8th house, Cancer, 3rd house,👈🧱🤴🤒
👤Your person's energy: Okay for some reason I was getting indirect Taurus energy but anyways your person VERY good at communication, omg they may take part in long discussions and like drawn out conversations or hypothetical stuff.. or simply just talk alot LOL💬😂 For signs we have Sagittarius, Pisces, Libra, Scorpio, Cancer and Gemini wow those may be significant. Some of my pile 1's are very attracted to the way this person talks.🗣🥰🩷 I'm getting that your person may always feel like they need someone to listen to them because my pile 1's your person has a lot of stress omg they need to let it out😭 Talking with others may feel like true therapy to them, they feel better when they have someone to talk to🥺💕 For some of you this person has long legs or even bigger features, something is definitely long about them.🙈😈 I'm also hearing "why the long face?" So maybe your person has a worried look washed upon their face, oh this could be because their stress.😟💧 Some of you are in a committed relationship to this person or you see them as marriage material.💍✔️ It is hard for your person to open up to just anyone on a deeper level, they may have been in bad relationships before or over shared themselves. This person might have even cut out romantic connections entirely.✋️✂️ Specific message for someone in pile 2 they could have a lot of siblings, I definitely feel your person knows many people or someone could be a therapist. They could have an ex still obsessed with them maybe they're your ex, divorce or break ups may be significant to your person. They do have a magnetic way about them, like I feel like them as a spouse would be so HOT😳 I'm hearing "trophy wife/husband" lol that is what they are like or would be like.🏆✨️ You guys may be a bit obsessed with this person, some of you don't wanna wait for Intimacy after marriage.🙈❤️‍🔥
🌹How they wanna please you: Self love, Fluff, Skill, Inner thoughts, Fairytale, Libra, Eros, Uranus, North node, Capricorn, 🏩😎🌹🐈 My pile 1's your person is so sweet and so naughty at the same time😭😭 First and foremost they want you to be happy and love your life omg they wanna make you feel like you're in a fairytale🥺💖 They also want to make you feel pretty and love yourself just as much as they do. There are so many things they wanna try with you pile 1!! They are literally thinking about a SOLID future with you, they want to provide and pleasure you and give you the love you deserve omfg this is too much💓🪽🥹 They have thoughts of your thing, if you know what I mean🙈🥵 They want to know your body well do everything right with you, like they want to be an expert at it. They may want to experiment a lot with you to see exactly what you like and what pleases you the most.🔥😈😭 Your person is kinky, They also want to use their fingers inside WTF they think about exactly how turn you on. They want you to think good about yourself and feel beautiful with them. Also taking you to a motel so you guys enjoy your time alone and be as unusual as you want?!🏩 Going hard on your 🍑 If you want it🥵 They also want to give you something to see, like doing things to themselves for you. OH MY pile 1 your person would do anything🫣💦 Your person is big on pleasing you visually, but not just with themselves but with everything. Like taking you to beautiful scenery and giving you flowers in hopes that you're just as pleased with that as you are with them✨️💐💗 They just really wanna turn you on and for you to be so happy with them, some of you may be very impressed how much they know what you like. I mean seriously this person thinks pile 1 is so lovely and attractive🥺 They want to please you at the highest level and just make you feel so in love and treated well😭💝
💌Messages from your person: It's okay to have high standards, I hear you, I wish I could, I think you're a great person, Your secrets safe with me, Your first love, What are your biggest fantasies? Put your hand on mine. (So sweet🥰🩷) Extra cards: Pisces, Focus, Up, Store, Abandonment, Gemini, Saturn, Uranus, Libra, 10th house
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❤️‍🔥
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the kiss emoji~💋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading✨️🤭❤️
Pile 2🔗
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Sign energy: Attraction, Sensitivity, Important, Only one, Mystery, Chiron, Aquarius, 3rd house, 5th house, 1st house,🖇♀️💼🥳
👤Your person's energy: This is someone very special, you may see them as one of a kind✨️ My pile 2's are attracted to this person and you want to connect with them and have sweet conversations with them😭💓 Signs could be Aquarius, Gemini, Leo or Aries in their chart. Your person has a soft feminine vibe to them (no matter the gender) They may talk in a gentle way. They may have a hobby unknown to you or they hide it, they could be interested in career/hobbies related to entertainment, artist, creator, or music.🎨 I'm getting anonymous vibes from your person, for some in pile 1 they have a secret channel or social media account they share their work on. Now your person may get hurt a lot on accident, they are very sensitive to injuries.😢🩹 Maybe they have a noticable scar for some of you? You feel very connected to this person, like they are your twin flame kinda thing.❤️‍🔥 They work for fun I'm hearing, or start a lot of fun little projects for themselves. They are very creative and sweet, I am getting gentle artistic energy. This could be a close friend for some of you, or a friendly connection between you both. This person may feel like the only one you can talk to like a best friend. They play a big role in your life, they also may be someone important online.📱✨️ They are very fun at parties, I think their sweet and charming nature makes them very attractive to you. This person has such lovely features and gestures!!🥺💖 They also have a senstive side to them, that may have been what attracted you to them as well. You have no idea how they have such a beautiful aura to them lol🥰🩷
🌹How they wanna please you: Pride, Competition, Long, Truth, Decor, Cancer, Water, 9th house, Venus, 1st house, 🗞👑💐🛎 Okay so acts of service may be something your person wants to do for you💓 They want to please you by doing sweet little things for you, this might be the most innocent pile omg it's just so cute🥹💓💕 They want you to make you feel cared for and take pride in yourself! So your person is a bit competitive about pleasing you, maybe there is a situation where they aren't the only one who's out to please pile 2 right now OMG for some of you this person is very defensive over being the only one that pleases you and the best at it. (This makes them so emotional😭❤️) Also taking you on a long trip with them somewhere beautiful ooh and I'm seeing somewhere near water so maybe they're wanting to take you on a vacation somewhere by a body of water so like lakes, rivers or the ocean.🌊🧭💘 They want to please you aesthetically most importantly, making sure your surroundings and over all environment is nice and beautiful enough for my pile 2's🥺💗 I'm getting they definitely wanna win your heart, also flowers!! This is so sweet, they would want to please you by giving you roses and pretty lovely bouquets to express just how genuine their feelings are for you guys omg.. I feel like if you come over to this person's space they will decorate it very beautifully for you to see, like they take pride in their decorating skills I'm hearing.🌸🛍✨️ Also with their appearance, they wish to look amazing for your eyes to see. I can see them wanting to restrain themselves for your pleasure.🫣 They want to serve you in any way they can, that may be something they wish to please you with, lol for some this person wants to clean for you like help with whatever's on your to do list so you can just sit back and be spoiled by them.👑😩💓 This person is head over heels for our lovely pile 2🥰 They want to hold you. I am hearing they truly care for you, they want you to feel comfy and pretty with your surroundings. Ahh pile 2 your person is such ring material LOL.💍
💌Messages from your person: Let me adore you, Focus on us, If I had you, This is madness, It's not what it looks like, I wish I could control it, We will find eachother again, I want to spend my life with you (AHH PILE 2 🥳🤧❤️) Extra cards: Situation, Competition, Fantasy, Worthy, Options, Earth, Jupiter, Sagittarius, 2nd house, Aquarius (Ohh so your person want's to be worthy to compete for your love and for some in this pile they may be a second option for you right now!!)
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❤️‍🔥
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the chain emoji~🔗 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading✨️🤭❤️
Pile 3❤️
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Sign energy: Synchrony, Respect, Diamond, Peace, Flirt, Aries, 3rd house, 10th house, Pluto, Sun,🕳❤️🎨🔙
👤Your person's energy: Okay so there is a masculine energy for this pile's person, very powerful aura about them✨️😎 Prominent energies for them are Aries, Gemini, Capricorn, Scorpio or Leo. The way this person speaks may stand out to you, because they are smooth with their words. For some of you this person is so good at flirting it's scary😳🥵 They can win anyone over with just their words I'm hearing, they have such a magnetic way about them omg🔥🧲 They can make people obsessed with them easily, their public image is seen as something rare. People view your person as sensually attractive. I think they are more playful with the people they know, but when they're interacting with acquaintances they can be very intimidating yet very hot.🤯 They have a bold energy to them, people immediately feel like they should respect or admire them in some way.✨️ Maybe you see yourself in this person, you may share similar views. People fall for your person's charms so quick, there is a deep love and admiration for their self worth. Your person is creative and very interesting in most conversations, they keep things interesting.💬🎉 They could have a deep voice, or a pleasing one that draws you in. They could also be in shape or bigger than you in appearance or vibe. Your person may own accessories made of jems or diamonds📿⌚️ This is a random message but you two would be very physically compatible?!🙈🔥 Yeah this person can draw you in deep and they just say one word and it turns you on LOL😭 Many of my pile 3's are in love with this person, I mean on another level. They are quick witted, I'm also hearing fast reflexes for this person. They shine like a jewel in their productivity or work, I mean they can be really smooth and calm like talking in a low voice but then when they're passionate about something they will consume it😳
🌹How they wanna please you: Pain, Big, Lay down, 11th house, Early, Lilith, Chiron, Cancer, Jupiter, Capricorn,🪫🌧🗒🔱 Omfg pile 3 your person is something else😭 They wanna please you in the most intense way you can handle, I'm hearing they want to drown you in pleasure until it drains you both completely...🪫🥵 They want to be so naughty with you, like filling out EVERY one of your kinks. They want to force you down if it's what works, laying you down and going hard on you💦🥵🥵 They have big fantasies about you and wanna achieve all of yours too. Like I'm not kidding I feel like they literally have a to do list of everything they want to please you with WTF🤯🫣 You bring out a different side of them for real. They would dominate you if it brings you pleasure. They want to record a lot of videos of you two, especially the times they can please you the most. They want to give you pain if it pleases you, but they will also match your intensity and be gentle if they need to.🥺❤️ They want to lay you down and let it out aggressively or just simply cuddle with you, whatever they can do to fullfill your fantasies. They want to make it rain and that's all I'll say.😳 (they could also wish to spend a lot of money on you). They want to give you lots of aftercare and heal you emotionally or physically any way they can. I'm seeing a lot of duality with this person, they could really please you in different ways. They want to comfort you and make you feel safe, but also please you like really hard😈 My pile 3's your person is so naughty for you😭😭 They want grinding and restraining, that's something they think would give you pleasure too. Their dark side really comes out for you guys wtf, I think you heal eachother's issues in some way😢🩹 I can see them wanting to post all about you on their social media, not the bad stuff but just cute photos of you. They save the bad ones for themselves🥵 Wow this pile got crazy also your person wants to suck on your skin (😳) or piercing sensations if that pleases you. Also they want to give you the best one you've ever experienced🔞💭 I'M ENDING IT THERE
💌Messages from your person: I've been so busy, I love us, I know you like me, You're the one that I want, When you look at me like that, Your eyes are beautiful, You have so much worth, Why can't you see? (OMG I'm flipping out that is so sweet😭😍⁉️) Extra cards: Down, Found, Siblings, Cherish, Maze, Juno, Pisces, Chiron, Mercury, 7th house (Your person loves the way you communicate btw they really see you as a straight up soulmate🙈❤️)
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❤️‍🔥
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the red heart emoji~❤️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading✨️🤭❤️
Pile 4🍒
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Sign energy: Right, Museum, Surrender, Reserved, Less, 11th house, Leo, Taurus, Earth, Jupiter,🆘️💁‍♂️💀⛓️
👤Your person's energy: Wow okay so this person is pretty straight forward I'm getting, they may communicate with others online a lot.📱���� They have a unique look about them.✨️ Something is coming through, they had a bit of an ego death in the past so they became less self-assured or confident in themselves. They are good at making a community for themselves. Prominent sign energies are Aquarius, Leo, Taurus, Sagittarius or Earth signs (Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo) oh and Pisces too. Museums may be significant, also this person may work at in art gallery for someone in pile 4 haha.♥️ I think this person spends too much time online or involved in charity work, they don't speak up their own opinions much I'm hearing.💭🚫 They may change their hair often or they got a hairstyle in the past that significantly changed their whole vibe lol. They have online friends that may not be out for their best interest, I feel like they're kinda on display for everyone to see and pick apart.🥺😡 Maybe your person has some opinions that the people around them don't agree with, that could be why they learned to keep it to themselves and go along with everyone.😭🐑 Their self-expression has been somewhat locked away because don't want to be criticized by others.🔒 I think your person is an out of the box thinker, so they have some unconventional ideas.💡❤️ I don't think they're very self confident, or they have lost that over time. They are in a sort of repressed energy, like they have no freedom for themselves. I'm hearing "stopped being honest" omg maybe they gave up on sharing their opinions🤯 Some of you are at a long distance from this person, maybe you reach from online. Pile 4 your person needs saving omg they are around a lot of toxic people😥☣️
🌹How they wanna please you: Competition, Equality, Work place, Let go, Song, Water, 11th house, 9th house, 3rd house, Capricorn, 🍑🪐🧎‍♂️📸 Ahh okay🙈😍 Now I'm definitely getting a vibe that for some in this pile, this is a friend or they want to be friends with you. They want to get up to your level in order to please you, maybe they feel unworthy or unequal to you in some way😢💔 I can see them wanting to make a playlist for you to please you🤭🎼 They want to achieve success for you, aww like they want to be admirable to you. I'm getting this person could be younger than you a bit, or they just feel like you're superior to them in some way.🏆👑  I am getting similar vibes to pile 2 in terms of their sweet yet competitive approach towards you guys, this person is really emotional over winning you over. Maybe you have many friends and they feel insignificant to you.😰 They really want to rid of the toxic people around them in order to please you, like no gossip or anything.✋️❌️ They may want a healthy circle of friends to be associated with, because they feel like the people around them are ruining their image to you.🥺 Now they want to put in the extra work for you. Probably learn from word of mouth exactly what pleases you, asking your friends or coworkers what you like/dislike. They want to please you spontaneously, like a big surprise. This could be getting you alone and surprising you with a kiss!🥰 They want to please you in that way, also if they could go hard on your 🍑 if you know what I mean😈❤️‍🔥 They would want to use their hands to please you, and grabbing you there. Restraining you or getting you on your knees if you feel good from it.🥵 They may also want to send you photos of them, maybe of their 🍑??😂 Lol they would try anything weird or crazy if you asked them to, because they want to please you and see what works. Aww they want to make you smile and take photos of you like that.😁 They also want to travel with you, maybe taking you to higher places.🗻❤️ They would wanna give you kisses and your thighs/hands💋 I'm seeing they're on their knees for you omg. I could see them writing you a song and sending it to you out of nowhere like "hey I wrote u a song :)" Lol so cute, I can also see them wanting to so all the fun things you need a best friend for.🥺💖 Like they are down to be like a friend to you if you need that, and if you need a good partner? They can do that to.😏❤️‍🔥 I can see them wanting to grab your thigh and push your legs apart too...😳🥵
💌Messages from your person: Your laugh is contagious, You have no idea, Anything for you, Can't you see? Believe me, It's me or them, We are one, You're not interested in anyone right? (Ohh they are competitive over you🤭❤️) Extra cards: Siblings, Intuition, Prove, Over, Bad habit, Jupiter, Saturn, Pisces, 7th house, 2nd house (They also want to provide for you like buying you nice things and committing to this relationship🥺💋)
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❤️‍🔥
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the cherry emoji~🍒 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading✨️🤭❤️
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3
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tarotwithavi · 1 year
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☉ Sun in houses ☉
Sun sort of magnifies the house it falls in so yeah a post about our dear sun.
These post are general and won't resonate 100% because we have to consider other aspects too.
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☉ Sun in 1st ☉
Now I have seen that sun in 1st people may come off as leo rising. These people are very optimistic. These people tend to get recognized for their creativity and self expression. The main motive of their life is self expression and inspiring people. These people can become narcissistic too but we'll look into that later. Their self of sense is their physical body and how they show themselves to people and most of the time these people are very well dressed and may sometimes overdressed. They want to appear best at all times. Very confident individuals and won't even second guess themselves. They might come off as too strong or too confident. Another thing I have noticed is that sun in 1st house people usually think that they are main character and everybody in their life is just a side character. Though they like to helpothers and care for them but mostly they would try to give them what they think is right for them not what the other person needs. Something like "I think you deserve this so I'm giving you this not matter if you want it or not ".
☉ Sun in 2nd ☉
Sun in 2nd house people get their sense of self from money and assets. Now this placement can make someone love art or have a keen eye for art. The thing people notice most about these people is their sense of style and their aesthetic. This placement can make some overly materialistic too. I have seen that these people are very confident and know their self worth. Elegance is something they just have. These people will have a career that's very creative and in which they can express themselves. These people come off as possessive and are a bit controlling. This placement gives you great success too. The type to always carry extra cash with themselves. Also I have noticed that people who have sun in 2nd house have a raspy and authoritative voice. These people can also have a rich family history or if not then no matter how bad their family history is they will always glorify it. The type of people who sometimes loose touch with reality. Their father can be a government worker, teachers, artist etc.
☉ Sun in 3rd ☉
Sun in the third house people are the chatter machine but depends if there are another aspects too. These people love to chat and talk with people. I have seen that thes people are always expanding their knowledge and their sense of self comes from their mind and intelligence. If they don't know something about a certain topic they tend to feel stupid so that's why these people tend to thrive for knowledge. These are the people that'll make a slideshow just to prove their point and that they are right. These people are very might liked by their peers, schoolmates, colleagues etc. These people have easily influence others too. The trend setters. Overthinker. Brain seems to be all over the place. They can also have not-so-good relationships with their siblings or they are not able to communicate freely with their siblings. Their sense of ego comes from the way they communicate and also sun in 3rd house people are the most courageous people you'll ever know. These people can become journalist, news reporter, writer, poets or a social media influencer.
☉ Sun in 4th ☉
The secretive homebody. These people like to stay inside more than outside and these are the people who are more likely to work from home. Their sense of self comes from their home, family and the friends they consider their family. These people like to decorate their house and make it aesthetic. These people are very secretive and don't really like it when people interfere in their personal life. They don't like it when people ask them personal question about their family. Sun in 4th house people are very intune with their intuition And their emotions. Very protective and loyal person. These people are comfortable with expressing themselves only when they with people who are like family to them. Sun in 4th house can also mean that your mother did most of the parenting while your father was away. This placement can also give a absent father. Another this I have noticed is that these people struggle a lot in their early life. And their mother has a lot of significance in their creativity. These people also like to cook.
☉ Sun in 5th ☉
Very creative and goofy person. Their sense of self comes from expressing themselves in front of people. Might be a little show off. The class clown type of energy. These people love dares. The social butterfly with the most authentic and unique personality. The extreme extrovert. These people love expressing themselves through creative projects. Probably the type to take part in every activity. The type to always be involved in something creative or have crazy life experiences. The popular jock type of energy. I have also noticed that these people are very well liked by their seniors / teachers /bosses too. These people take good care of their body and might be into sports too. Since sun feels comfortable in this house it gives very creative mind. Also these people love history, politics, ancient sculptures etc. Sun in 5th house people like to be at the top in education field. The topper of the class while also being entertaining. Their sense of self also comes from their children. These people will raise their children with all the good things in life. These people also have talent for performing.
☉ Sun in 6th ☉
Sun in the 6th house people are very concerned about their health, what they eat and how they maintain their daily routine. Their sense of self comes from their routine and work. So if they're not following the routine properly or doing something properly they loose their sense of self. These people are workaholics and people know them for their work . Good health is very important for them and these people are the type to always have sanitizer with themselves. You know just to clean their hands all the time. They really maintain their body too. You know when you see someone who's always reapplying lotions, sunscreen etc there are chances that they are virgo sun or they have their sun in 6th house. They hate when they get sick. I have also noticed that these people win over their enemies. Somehow their own friends can feel competitive with them. These people like helping others and might be doctors, therapists or into social services etc. Their parents can also be doctors. These people solve arguments and fights. Sometimes father can also blame his own failures on others.
☉ Sun in 7th ☉
The friendly person. Sun in 7th house really magnifies someone's relationship and partnerships. You see these people always look for friendship and relationships to find a sense of self. Simply their sense of self comes from their relationships with people. The type to have a crazy dating life .These people can also date or even marry someone who's very popular or famous. They tend to have great relationships with people around them. Honestly speaking some people might even call them bitchy or ve rude to them for no apparent reason. They always come across people or date someone who's their reflection. So they can date or marry someone who's just a reflection of themselves. People with this placement also have a hard time having fun by themselves. They seek validation from other and I have also seen that other project their insecurities on these people. These people can have problems in their dating life. Sun in 7th house people tend to feel incomplete but of course will have to see if there are other aspects or not.
☉ Sun in 8th ☉
Well well well the type of placement that gives obsessive and mean OBSESSIVE fans haha. I have seen that people who has sun in the 8th house just know how to draw people in. Like they can be doing nothing but breathing and people will still be drawn to them. Very secretive, magnetic and mysterious type of placement. These people are very special. Special in everything they do. I have also seen that people who have these placement love to research about the occult but they won't let people know that they are interested in that. 8th house and scorpio influence makes them very secretive about their interests, talents, personal life etc. Also these people won't just invite people over. They only invite people whom they trust to the core. Also tend to have a love-hate relationship with people. One day everyone loves them and the other day everyone just despise them out of the blue. They also go through a lot of transformations in their life. Might even change jobs alot. These people can become politicians, researchers, paranormal investigator etc.
☉ Sun in 9th ☉
Okay so I have seen be very much influenced by their father with this placement. Either you had a great relationship with your father or a bad relationship. Not in between. This placement also makes a person very righteous. Like these people will always lecture people what is right and what is wrong but when someone else lectures them they don't like it much. I have also seen that these people will have a number of rules that they will never break. They like to know about different cultures and religion and this placement can also make someone very religious. I have seen that these people really don't like it when people try to put them in a box Because this placement is all about expansion so putting these people in a box is like putting a black hole in box and you can't right? It will basically destroy the box. Just take that as an example for these people. They can also travel a lot in their life or their work involves travelling. These people can also work with foreigners or foreign things. Others can also see them as a "know it all" Or a smartazz.
☉ Sun in 10th ☉
This placement is something to thrive for. This is also a popularity placement . These people are very well liked by the people in general and if not liked then it can also be that unknowingly you're very popular. Like in your school/college/work everyone knows you and even the people you never talked to. This is also trendsetter placement. People are very much inspired by these people. One more thing about them is that these people can't work under anyone . They HATE it when someone gives them orders or nags them. So the thing here is that these people will have to do something that makes them the boss. Also no matter what they do they'll always succeed in that. But with this placement there also come people who will come after them because sun here can give a big ego . They can be opposed by the people. But these people will deal with them easily. I have seene great leadership qualities with these placements. If you put them in a group with others there's a high chance that they'll influence half of the people in the group.
☉ Sun in 11th ☉
Okay so whenever I see this placement the first thing that comes to my mind is the eldest child. Because most of the eldest kids I know have this placement. This can be a very challenging placement because these people have a great ego and won't give other credit. They also have a hard time making friends or continuing a friendship. If they want to they can break a 10 year friendship like nothing. These people are also very egoistic. Though these people get recognize for their work they don't consider others opinions and won't give someone credit. No matter how much you have done for them, one mistake and it's done for you fr. This placement can also give a difficult relationship with network circle. These people have big dreams and will work to achieve them. This placement gives problems with father or father figure and authority. This placement can also damaged relationships with friends, social circle and siblings. Since 11th house is the house of wealth it gives a person great material wealth and a long life. It also makes a person a great leader.
☉ Sun in 12th ☉
This placement can make someone very creative and imaginative. I have also seen that these people have can became a disappointment for their father. If not this then there is definitely some sort of conflict going on with their father. Or they can live far away from their father or parents I general. This placement also makes someone very secretive. For example they are banned in 12 countries and that'll never let you know. Of course this is just an example. It can be anything. Sun in 12 house people have a lot of hidden talents that they like to keep hidden. This is a great placement for foreign settlement. Also these people can have more popularity in foreign land then their own country. Also one this is that these people won't like in their homeland for a long time. They will change areas. People with this placement have a isolated childhood or a not so good childhood. It can even be that they were so privileged that they didn't get to do normal things like playing with other children etc. This placement also gives great talent for song writing, poetry , script writing etc because of great imagination.
Masterlist
I am not a professional, these are the things I have observed so far . Let me know your thoughts and I'm open to criticism too. Just be nice lol.
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bitchy-craft · 3 months
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PICK A CARD: What they want to say to you
Hello and welcome to this new post of mine! I will give you a reading on what certain people want to say to you even though they’re afraid to do so for whatever reason. I hope you guys enjoy and find this interesting.
Masterpost > Paid Readings
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~pick a card~
Pile 1:
This message to you is from a parental figure with a masculine energy. They want you to know that they’re incredibly proud of you and that they see how much you’ve progressed over the years, how much you’ve grown and how much you’ve endured. They want you to know that they think you’re incredibly strong and that they look up to you due to how well you’ve been keeping your head high in difficult situations.
This parental figure wants to apologise to you as well; they are aware they aren’t the best at communication, at making clear what it is they feel and what it is they think of you. They also hope you can forgive them for all the faults they’ve made over the years, and some hope you’ll be able to give them a second chance.
Pile 2:
This is a message to you from a younger person with feminine energy, for most of you this being a sibling. They want you to know they look up to you and that you’re really cool and a super hero as well. They want to thank you for all it is that you’ve done for them, and that they hope you’ll continue to spend time with them even if the communication lessens a bit over time.
They love seeing you happy and wish to continue seeing you happy; you deserve to be happy because you’ve made them happy countless of times before. They are proud to know you and be connected to you; they even speak fondly of you to their friends sometimes because they look up to you so much.
Pile 3:
This message is from an animal (didn’t expect an animal to come by). Keep in mind that you don’t need to have a pet to be able to resonate with this message; there are animals all around us, and many of them will have seen you a lot of times even if you haven’t paid attention to them before.
This animal wants you to know that they see and notice you having difficult moments, that you’re hurting and sometimes feel hopeless in all it is you need to do, what is expected from you and how you feel. They want you to know that you’re allowed to cry, allowed to pity yourself, especially if you don’t believe you have it hard enough to feel that wat. That everything will be okay and that you’ll eventually find your way through life, just like they did. You will be free and have fun eventually, and that you must not give up to finally feel all what life is about.
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ravens-two · 4 months
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PAC: Your Person's Thoughts About You 18+
This reading includes:
your person's dirty thoughts about you
The extended reading includes:
their reaction to these thoughts
Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Also, this content is 18+ only!
TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC
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Pile 1
Judgment, Moon
"Devotion save me now/ I don't wanna stray from the hallowed ground/ I'll turn temptation down" Hurts - Devotion
The first thing I'm getting from this pile is that your person wants to see you naked. It's actually really interesting because this is supposed to be about their dirty thoughts (and well in a way it is), but this naked is almost like moving beyond your physical body. They want to see you for who you really are without any reservations on your part. This can be a bit of a kink for them too. It's almost like unravelling you during sex. They also want to have you completely at their mercy. For some of you this will be a bit more bdsm-y while for others not so much. In general, what I mean by this is that they want you to fully trust them and let them do the work. It's like putting your pleasure completely in their hands.
Going back to the naked thing though, it might be that you two haven't been intimate yet and they keep imagining what you'll look like when there aren't any clothes on you. Or it might be that you have been intimate and it's almost like the image of your naked body is seared in their brain. They couldn't forget it even if they wanted to and it's a thought that just keeps popping up for them randomly. I actually think that one of the reasons that they can't stop thinking about it is because of the energy that you gave off. This is hard to explain, but in the moment it was like there was something supernatural about you, the way you surrender completely to your seductive and animal side is/was very enchanting for your person.
This person is also dreaming about kissing you pile 1, especially your neck. I also get the vibe that they want to mark you, like leaving hickeys or bite marks. It seems that they're the type of person that likes to leave something to remember them by. I keep hearing that they just want to take you in their arms. Again, there's this vibe that they are the most dominant energy and want you to surrender to them (but this doesn't really feel like power-exchange honestly). They want to worship your body (this also fits the song that you got tbh).
They might also fantasize about having sex in a taboo place or out in nature (maybe both for some of you). They might want to have sex in a lake or a secluded place out in the woods. For some people they might want to do it in a graveyard (Mary Shelly would approve lol) or like another person's bedroom or in a place where you could get caught. I also think that they want to have sex all night long, going as long as you both can and then be completely exhausted.
For some you they also wish that you would let yourself be a little wilder. There's this vibe that they think that you are kinkier than you act (you might seem too in control or put together during the act for their liking) and they would love it if you showed this side of yourself. They also know that in part it's a question of trusting them enough, so that would really do it for them too - knowing that you trust them like that.
Pile 2
Star, Tower
"When I first saw you/ The end was soon/ To Bethlehem it slouched/ And then it must have caught a good look at you" Hozier - NFWMB
Hi pile 2, your person's dirty thoughts about you are quite interesting because I keep getting this idea that they will have a dirty thought, indulge in it for a moment, and then they'll feel bad about it. It's like they try to repress these thoughts because they think that they're somehow disrespectful to you. It might be that you aren't in a relationship with this person yet, and this is what cause these feelings, because you don't know that they see you like this.
A bit like pile 1, your person also thinks about seeing you naked. I feel like 90% of their 18+ thoughts are about your naked body. It might be them imagining what you would look like or just remembering your body. Unlike pile 1 there isn't this vibe of wanting you to surrender to them or seeing you undone, your person just wants to admire you in all your glory. They think that you're breathtaking and it honestly makes them a bit weak in their knees. It's actually more likely that your person wants to submit to you than the other way around. They also want to get on their knees and worship you, so this is probably oral sex. With the Tower here as well I'm seeing a lot of orgasms for both of you, explosive and maybe a bit mind-shattering. I'm hearing someone say that they've been "fucked dumb", so yeah, that could be one of their fantasies too. There's also something here about squirting and/or cum play as well. If your person has a penis they probably want to paint you with their cum, most likely your face, chest or back.
If you have breasts your person is also obsessed with them. They love the way they look (no matter the size) and really want to play with them. If you don't have breasts this could still be about your nipples. They're also pretty obsessed with your thighs and some of them want to get crushed between them. Again, there's this vibe that they want to please you so bad. It's not that they're really submissive, but they want to give you as much pleasure as humanly possible.
Your person also fantasizes about making love to you instead of fucking. They want the sex to be loving, safe and healing for the both of you. They also think about having shower/bath sex with you. Or they might get more dirty thoughts about you when they're in the shower. There's also something about cleanliness here, so it could be that your person enjoys/imagines cleaning you up after sex.
Pile 3
Nine of Wands, Two of Wands
"Love is our resistance/ They'll keep us apart, and they won't stop breaking us down/ Hold me/ Our lips must always be sealed" Muse - Resistance
Pile 3, your person seems to be quite kinky. The first thing I'm seeing here is bondage. They imagine tying you up and maybe even using blindfolds. This could be like full bondage or maybe just using handcuffs (it's going to change a bit from person to person), whatever it is your person wants to restrain you. I'm even seeing that for some of you your person kind of wants to tie you up just to look at you. There's a hint of voyeurism here, so they might want to take pictures or videos of you and enjoy the thought of "what if someone saw this". It might go even a little bit further and they imagine someone walking on you or you two doing it in a public place right in front of everyone. I think that is biggest motivation for them is that they are super proud of being by your side and want to show you off.
Another thing that they imagine is fingering you. They get a lot of enjoyment from your pleasure so they imagine getting you off with just their fingers. Actually I just got a very detailed visual of you mostly naked while they're still completely clothed and their fingers inside of you. When it comes to positions your person imagines you two having sex standing up or bending you over something.
Just like pile 1 your person wants to see you completely undone and unraveled. They imagine you after sex with your hair all messed up, marks all over your body, covered in fluids, and an hazy look in your eyes. Yeah, just very very messy. Your person doesn't seem to be too shy about their desires though. They also want to have multiple rounds with you. They want to have sex with you for as long as you physically can. Again they want to see you completely exhausted. I actually keep seeing more about fingering and oral sex rather than penetration, so your person tends to imagine more about this types of acts. It might be that they're actually a bit shy about doing these things in real life so they like to imagine it.
Your person also likes to imagine sexual scenarios with a lot of action and adventure. They have a very fertile imagination. They might imagine themselves as an hero who rescues you and then you two have sex. They might really enjoy role-playing. They also imagine sex that progresses your relationship. Besides the kinkier stuff, they might imagine making love to you and being truly intimate and vulnerable with you. Honestly, this person just wants to be with you and they enjoy making up scenarios with you.
Pile 4
Five of Cups, Ace of Wands
"You lose your way, just take my hand/ You're lost at sea, then I'll command your boat to me again/ Don't look too far, right where you are, that's where I am" Lana Del Rey - Mariners Apartment Complex
Pile 4, your pile seems like the most emotional, at least at first sight. One of your person's biggest fantasies is being comforted by you through sex. They like to imagine themselves (I'm not sure if it's randomly or when something bad happens) feeling down or going through a rough situation and coming to you to be comforted. They imagine you taking them in your arms, holding them, kissing them and slowly taking off their clothes. They imagine you on your knees giving them oral sex and then you two having slow, loving sex. There might even be tears here. Like they're feeling so emotional from what happened and from how loved they are by you that they just tear up or cry a bit. I think that the biggest fantasy here is feeling loved tbh. I also think that your song and the lyrics that I chose are really fitting for your person. They really want you to take their hand and steer the boat when they're feeling lost.
With the Ace of Wands here they're also really passionate and want the sex between you to feel hot and heavy, to truly envelop the two of you. They might also think about wax play or temperature play. There's something here about the differences in temperature between your body and other objects. They also want to kiss all over your body. They're very connected to their body sensations, especially about warmth. I don't really know how to explain it. They crave the feeling of your hot mouth on them (and other things too).
Something that's a bit kinkier and that might be a bit off-putting for some people, but they also imagine having period sex with you. The blood doesn't irk them, and they might even finding it a bit hot. I don't want to describe it too much, because the images in my head are quite graphic. But, yeah imagine them playing with the blood a little bit. In general, I think that they have a thing for body fluids, mainly semen and spit from what I'm getting. This is the other pile that might want to paint you with their cum (or the other way around). Also, they imagine you spitting in their mouth. I'm immediately getting that most of these kinkier fantasies about them are something that they see as unrealistic.
Again, this pile is quite emotional and they also like to imagine you two having a fight and being really upset with each other and then having sex. I think that this is such a recurring scenario in their head that they have a lot of variants. They imagine you having loving sex almost as an apology, then they imagine being hatefucked or hatefucking you. Or being denied by you. They have a lot of different scenarios when it comes to this, the only thing in common is you two fighting.
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403tarot · 10 months
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. . . THINGS YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE WILL NOTICE THE MOST (AND LOVE) ABOUT YOU + LITTLE ANALYSIS OF THE RELATIONSHIP
hello! today's subject is future spouses, to the ones that seek a true love. take what resonates to you and leave the rest away. close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the pic that calls you the most. feedbacks are always highly appreciated <3
PICK A PILE !
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* i recommend you to listen to the song and read the lyrics after reading your pile for a more immersive experience in the vibe of your relationship with your future spouse !
IF YOU CHOSE PILE 1 ...
wow, your meeting with your future spouse will be a soul connection. destiny will lead you to them so that finally, your lives regain balance.
this person will appreciate the fact that you're always willing to roll up your sleeves and solve your problems. your attitude and talent for dealing with difficult situations come from a long path of responsibilities and maturity. many times, you had to take the lead and handle situations for which you weren't prepared, with no assistance – just you and your survival instinct. however, this hasn't made you lose the part of you that wants to experience pure and true love, someone who loves you for who you are and takes care of you.
i see that this relationship will be very peaceful and kind, a new stage in both of your lives. you might feel like you've known each other for a long time, even from past lives. this sensation might scare you a bit at first because you might not be used to having someone who understands and responds to you and your ways as well as your future spouse, as your connection might be the strongest you'll ever experience with someone in your lifetime.
this person will be the one who admires the little things about you, from your most impressive talents to the sound of your laughter. expect many candlelit dinners, conversations under the moonlight, and someone who covers you with a warm blanket if you fall asleep first. they will watch you as you sleep and count each of your eyelashes, resisting the urge to trace your lips with the tips of their fingers just to touch you and make sure you're real. you will be a gift in each other's lives for sure.
cards pulled: 8 of pents, page of cups, strength, justice | the lovers, the moon | ace of wands, 2 of pents, knight of wands | ace of pents, the world | blood bond (connections)
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IF YOU CHOSE PILE 2 ...
your relationship with your future spouse will be the model of the relationship you've always dreamed of. when you saw a couple with such a beautiful connection that happiness seemed to radiate from the people involved, and you wondered if you would ever have something like that, know that your relationship will be your ultimate standard.
one of the things your future spouse will admire most about you is your persistence and commitment to everything you set out to do, including your relationship. i see you as the one who takes care of things, who ensures that the relationship stays on track with your ability to always keep everything in its proper place. this person will find you very intelligent and coherent not only about life matters but also emotionally. you are someone in constant evolution who always seeks to be a new and improved version of yourself without losing your authenticity.
this relationship will make you feel capable of achieving anything when you're by this person's side. they will always encourage you to pursue your aspirations and cheer for you wholeheartedly. beyond that, they will be there with you in your victories, defeats, sorrows, and joys. you'll be able to lean on this person and open up your feelings to them because you know they'll understand you like no one else ever could.
your future spouse will love loving you and will also enjoy showing their feelings! it's as if this person wants to shout to the whole world how happy they are to have the opportunity to create a beautiful love story with you. expect them to take many photos of you to post on their feed, for you to be a frequent star in their stories, and also a significant commitment ring on your finger. after talking so much about how incredible you are to everyone, they have to make sure that everyone knows your heart already belongs to someone.
cards pulled: 4 of wands, queen of pents, page of wands, king of swords & king of wands | the sun & 6 of wands | the magician & 2 of pents | witches boots (stability)
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IF YOU CHOSE PILE 3 ...
the relationship with your future spouse will sweep you off your feet. if you're the type of person who's afraid to show emotions due to past relationships and struggles with reciprocation, know that the universe plans to push you against the wall on this. your future spouse will gradually enter your heart and awaken a sentimental side within you that you never even imagined could (still) exist. they will revolutionize the way you express affection in all types of relationships you have in your life.
i see that this person will really appreciate your worldview and your stances. they'll want to know your opinion and value what you have to say; your ideas will matter to them. your future spouse will be someone who truly listens to you and cares about understanding how you see things. they'll admire how you engage with the world and how you showcase your personality through your clothes, the way you style your hair, your accessories and will notice every little aspect of your being and how it reflects in you, even things you thought no one else but you would notice.
your future spouse will want to heal your heart, and together you'll heal each other's souls. i see this person viewing you as a precious treasure and wanting to lay the world at your feet, protect you, and be a solid pillar for you to lean on during tough times. you'll both feel incredibly fortunate to have each other in your lives, and from this union, i see you both taking lessons that will help you evolve as individuals.
your future spouse will be someone who wants to take you on adventures and explore the world. visiting historical places like museums or art galleries will become a frequent routine in your lives. they're the type who'll want to take you to lunch at a quaint and charming bistro as you watch people pass by the window, trying to guess what they do in life, their purposes, and dreams. they'll love your sense of humor and how you present your ideas. expect them to gift you an album of photos containing all the memorable moments you've shared — it will be a quite thick album.
cards pulled: page of wands, 2 of wands, 9 of pents, the empress, ace of cups | queen of cups, 6 of cups & the tower | the lovers, king of cups, the emperor | queen of swords, ace of wands, 7 of cups | black kitten (inner child)
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starhoppin · 5 months
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pick a picture; how would your future spouse act when they're jealous?
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pile 1 -> pile 2 -> pile 3
disclaimer; this is a general reading! these messages may not fit everyone. please take what resonates and leave the rest.
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「pile one 」
five of pentacles rv (cb: queen of wands, four of pentacles), king of swords rv (cb: ace of swords, seven of cups rv), nine of pentacles (cb: four of cups, nine of swords)
when your future spouse is jealous, they tend to keep their thoughts to themselves. they view you as the queen of wands - charismatic, bold, charming - overall, a catch. so when others flirt with you, your future spouse gets a bit possessive. still, they seem to recognize that the way others behave towards you is beyond your control, and you cannot be held responsible for whether people flirt with you or not. consequently, they feel like bringing it up would only create unnecessary conflict between you two. however, - in a moment of weakness - this person may act cold and a bit rude toward the person who is flirting with you. this person is normally level-headed, but the thought of you being with someone else really upsets them. i also see them reassuring themselves that you only have eyes for them. they trust you a lot and you actually may be the type to shut down any person who tries to flirt with you - particularly if they're doing so in front of your future spouse.
if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!
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「pile two 」
page of pentacles (cb: six of swords rv, three of cups), queen of pentacles rv (cb: ten of cups, four of cups rv), ace of cups rv (cb: four of pentacles rv, knight of pentacles)
i think your future spouse would struggle with acknowledging that they're jealous. they'll make an effort to act like everything is fine, yet it feels more like they're suppressing their genuine emotions. they may be the type to bottle up their true feelings in general. this person could struggle with issues of abandonment/neglect from past relationships, so when situations like this arise, they have to do their best to work through those emotions. instances that trigger their jealousy could be akin to reopening an old wound for them. despite knowing that you're happy together and you're not interested in anyone else, their instinctual response is colored by past feelings. your future spouse might place a high value on material possessions, and their love language may lean towards gift-giving. in light of this situation, they may become more extravagant in their gift-giving, almost as if they're in the courting stage in your relationship again. it's an energy of "no other person can provide for you like i can."
if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!
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「pile three 」
five of swords rv (cb: six of wands, king of swords rv), three of pentacles (cb: queen of pentacles, five of cups rv), five of pentacles rv (cb: six of cups, king of pentacles)
out of all the piles, your future spouse is most likely to speak up and tell someone off if they're flirting with you. they seem to perceive the conflict as a form of competition, but it's not true competition because you are already taken by them. it's like your future spouse has this perspective of "try all you want, you can never win them over." still, your person is likely to voice their displeasure and make it clear that they'll never have a chance with you. while you may prioritize harmony, your future spouse exudes an attitude of "i don't care if they like me or not." they are the kind of person who speaks their mind in any situation, even if they're aware you might disapprove. i distinctly heard the words "charity work," so they might use cutting words to convey that the person is not even close to being in your league. this person has a healthy sense of self-esteem and also believes that you share a strong relationship based on trust. although they may get a bit heated initially, i don't think that they'll dwell on the situation.
if this reading resonated with you, please consider leaving a tip!
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tarot deck used in this reading: ostara tarot
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redwineandtarot · 11 months
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your talents
hi! today's pac is all about your talents! as people we are so diverse so not all of your talents may be in this reading. however i hope this helps you discover yourself more! take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. i would love to hear your feedbacks <3
🥀paid readings🥀
Disclaimer: My readings do NOT replace any professional advice. Use your own judgment while making decisions. You have your own free will. Take everything I say light-heartedly. All of my readings are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
pick a pile
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piles 1-2
3-4
i do not own these pictures
pile 1
You are great at giving people honest and genuine advice. You make people see parts of themselves that they may have not seen before, good or bad. 
You may be great with finances. Or have the potential to be, if you learned more about it. You could study finances or economics. Don't have to, but you may still learn a bit about this topic. I think this will benefit you. (I am not a financial advisor or professional, this is just what cards are telling me!)
Being some sort of a teacher/advisor may suit you well too. Economics professor just came through but you could also be a dance teacher, therapist etc. Just something where you help people broaden their visions. 
You are great with new beginnings. You know how to make something blossom. You are also great with endings.
What I am seeing is you can materialize any interest of yours. Like maybe you want to learn guitar or learn how to cook, you can become quite good at them(to be more specific anything you want). Also this applies to material gains. The world is your oyster, I heard your guides say. 
Some of you may be talented at fashion. Whether it is designing or just making great outfits in daily life. 
You are also great at thinking ahead and planning. 
You are probably at peace with your shadow self or you are on the way to be. 
You have an earthy vibe to you. Your self confidence and calmness makes you a great manifestor. You could also be great at meditation, yoga etc. Anything that makes you connect with the universe and yourself more. 
Messages from spirit:
You still have full autonomy regarding ‘it’. “Nothing is yet set in stone.” You have a lot of potential.
You may need to release something. What is it? Think about this if you don’t know. Because deep down you know it.
thank you for reading <3
pile 2
I see a strong emphasis on your beauty. You could be / have the potential to be a model. Regardless, you are attractive and you may use this to your advantage. I am not saying you inherently have bad intentions. You are just good at charming people and getting what you want. You also probably would do great at things that require you to be in the spotlight. 
You are great at saving money.
You are a great fighter and a diligent person. You are persistent with what you want. Even if the situation seems hopeless. You find a way to make it work. And this usually gets you where you want to be (or even better places) in life. 
You know how to balance things in life. It just comes naturally to you. You know sometimes life does not evolve the way we want. And you trust the universe even in these times. You know you can get your ideas to real life even in the darkest times. 
Your words are powerful. You could use words to manifest. You could also be a writer of some sort (book writer, lyrics writer etc.). 
You may be great with plants, flowers or you may be good at biology. 
The numbers 8 and 6 might be significant.
You are good at dealing with emotions. You are an emotionally intelligent person.
You have natural talents to share your wisdom and your talents. You could benefit from being some sort of a teacher or a performer. Someone people watch.
You have a great understanding of life. The occult and history might be suitable fields of search for you. (I’m especially getting Egyptian mythology.)    
Messages from spirit:
You might be holding onto something out of pride. For most of you this is something from the past that you cannot let go of. 
Look at your situation from a different perspective. People who you deem wrong may be right.
thank you for reading <3
pile 3
You have a natural ability to lead and gather people. Whether for a cause or a project. In your work field or in a hobby that you do, you may pave the way for some sort of thing. For example you may start a new way of doing things, or you may be the first to do something in your hometown etc. 
You may have a talent for singing and/or public speaking. This also ties in with leadership because a good leader should also be good at speaking. Even if you lead a small group of people, good communication is key in my opinion.
You are also good at ending conflicts and finding the middle ground. 
You are also great at comforting people. You can transmute people’s worries. And you are also a great friend. You friends value you a lot.
You can tackle a lot at once. For example you can do modeling, studying, working at a part-time job all at once. Or if it’s just one job you can do different elements of it. Like youtubers; they film, edit and advertise their videos on their own. As a continuation of this, I see that you are a multi-talented person. 
I see you handling fast-paced life well. And this is because after all this running around you know how to come back to yourself and sit still. Maybe you do yoga, meditation, or any type of mindful activity.
When you love something, you also have a GREAT passion for it. This makes you also stand out at what you love. You can do the hard work for what you want.
By harnessing all of these talents of yours, you can achieve great success (whatever success is to you).
You have great spiritual protection around you. From your guides.
Messages from spirit:
You may meet a soulmate(platonic or romantic) or a romantic partner of yours soon. Or you may enter a phase of your life in which you’ll meet your romantic soulmate. For most of you it's the latter. And for this, spirit wants you to hold on to your visions.
thank you for reading <3
pile 4
You have a youthful energy to you. You spread happiness to those around you. You give them energy. While you have youthful energy, I see you as a wise person. You have an immense intellect. You could have gone through some hardships but you got to the other side with great strength and important lessons. Despite this you protected your child-like spirit. Your inner-child feels safe and heard with you.
You have a great imagination. Your dream world is probably pretty big. I get neptune-ish vibes from you. I heard that you may be a poet, if not I suggest you give it a shot. If you do not like poems, you can do other things that get you to use your imagination and emotions. Because I see a great potential in you. 
Some of you may be life path 22 or 7. Even if not, your life path is important for you.
You probably have a close bond with spirit. You are a great manifester. Despite your lighthearted energy, I see that you may have an interest in the occult. 
You have a talent for dancing.
You could also do well in areas where you need to have a quick wit. I hear politics for some of you. The term “crazy like a fox” applies to you. 
Despite appearing playful, you are pretty grounded. Even some of you may not realize this. You just need to work on it a bit more maybe.
You are graceful in the things you do.
Messages from spirit:
The thing you are asking for is within your reach! However while working towards it, you need both spiritual and practical effort for it. (Spiritual effort may be visualizing it for 5 minutes every day, etc.)
thank you for reading <3
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punksocks · 4 months
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Astrology Observations: No.28
*just based on my observations, only take what resonates
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(Sorry it’s been a minute, I got my time back then I got sick- like same day! I’m good now, thank god, but it was absolutely insane and everything has been going on in the world, my God)
-If your moon opposes your ascendant you may be known for making the wrong impressions on people (especially first impressions) at some point in your life
-Not the first time I said this but I feel like Libra Asc tend to need to balance out aspects of their life more bc of their houses having the opposite signs over them.
-On the other hand I feel like Aries asc have a very straightforward, sometimes less complicated world view bc of their houses lining up with their traditional rulers.
-Mars in determemt and fall (Libra, cancer, 12th house) really gives you a finite amount of stamina
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-I feel like cancer venus/moons tend to wax the most poetically and romantically about the nostalgia they feel. Even stronger for Venus.
-Men with cancer placements be like: I didn’t know I was manipulating you into being nice to me until it was already happening (lmao oof)
-I noticed Aries and Scorpio Sun men/masc folks can get romanticized a lot, I think this is bc their identity is ruled by mars traditionally, so they tend to be assigned more masculine traits/act their traits out in a more “traditionally” (or even just comfortably) masculine way
-Aqua Sun/asc/venus usually have some features that makes their face really stand out I noticed (unique brow/nose/head shape etc) (idk why I haven’t seen this with moons as much)
-Signs in your 8th house may come off as mysterious or hard to understand
-You may find it really easy to vibe with people that have Sun conjunct your Asc
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-I’ve noticed that a lot of Virgo mars may eat like really spicy or punishing foods (especially if the mars is in a fire house)
-Saturn aspecting your big 3 can help you age really well- depending on how well you take care of yourself (extreme example: dick van dyke, he’s almost 100 and he’s still jumping around with so much energy)
-Pisces placements can be like incredibly intelligent and yet still come off as a bit spacey (one of my favorite YouTubers used to head extra credits and he is SO SMART, like just a seriously huge capacity for knowledge but he sounds spacey when he does his chill gameplays and pieces things together unscripted lol)
-Jupiter square/opposition Sun can make you come off as overly pessimistic, it can also make you come off as optimistic at the wrong times (laughing at serious moments, etc)
-Taurus placements are so motivated by food, it’s so real (the amount of times I’ve had a Taurus sun/moon/mars not hear a word I was saying bc they were scoping out a restaurant? Countless lol)
-I notice a lot of rappers & musicians (especially the innovative ones) have major Pisces placements
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-Aries moons get emotional fulfillment by winning what they chase after (Aries in big 6 tends to make you go after things in general too imo)
-I noticed sometimes Leo moon can make you a bit self centered, like in the most literal sense, you may have trouble understanding perspectives outside of your own
-Virgos and Geminis and 3rd/6th house placements have great memory but they tend to forget certain aspects. They tend to forget or mix up details. (My ex took like 3 years to remember my middle name beyond the first initial lol god; also, I always remember zodiac signs but not birthdays lol)
-I love how Joe Pera has a cancer Mercury and his comedy is like the coziest comedy I’ve ever heard, he even got his following bc his helping people fall asleep and just talking through his chill podcast (did not expect him to have like the most fire in his chart tho?? Wouldn’t have guessed lol)- Pisces Mercury and Mercury with hard aspects to Neptune probably have a cozy affect on others when they communicate with them too
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tarotofzhivamoon · 3 months
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Masterlist • P@tr30n • Personal readings
Pause and take a big breath in, then choose the pile you feel the most drawn to🦋
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Hi! Thank you for stopping by and reading my work. I hope that you’re going to find the guidance that you need🫶🏻 You can now book a reading with me! Visit my services here and just message me if you are interested in booking any reading.
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Pile 1
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Cancer, Leo, Pisces, Aquarius, Taurus, Scorpio placements
Who are they?
Your person seems to be someone from your past, with whom you already had a relationship with and it didn’t really work out. They definitely seem to be someone who right now, is only present in your life in your memory and you might be daydreaming about them especially if this relationship has ended recently, or they may not be fully in your life, being a bit in and out. If it hasn’t ended recently, they made an impact on you and you definitely would like to give it another shot with them because you still feel a lot of love for them in your heart. This person is someone who has worked really hard to balance their feelings with their intellectual side, maybe when the two of you met in the past they weren’t really good at it because this has definitely been quite a long and slow moving journey for them. it feels as though maybe you were somewhat ahead of them and the incompatibilities were too high at that time. Now they seem to be on your level from that perspective. They have been working on themselves, slowly, and they’ve reached a point in which they are able to find a really beautiful harmony between mind, body and spirit, which is actually making them be more prepared for a relationship. They could’ve been incredibly held back, even being extremely gullible and other people might’ve made them believe various different things about themselves and the relationship with you, which wasn’t the best for a connection. They now can say about themselves that they are well balanced, able to set goals for themselves and go after them and a better team player than they were before, especially because they got used to a life in which it was only just them, one in which they were only thinking about themselves, which limited them in the way they were showing up in a relationship and working as a team with you.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
They seem to still have a lot of things to overcome, even with all the progress that they have made from when the two of you decided to go your separate ways, but the difference here is that they found their inner strength and they are better equipped to deal with the obstacles that life and relationships bring them. I would definitely say that when it comes to relationship skills, they are definitely able to be compassionate towards you and actually understand where you are coming from, making them more likely to actively listen and compromise with you so that the both of you feel safe in the relationship. They have taken back control over their ego and it’s not really the main thing that runs the show anymore, so now they’ve expanded their capacity to show and receive love in a really sweet manner that they weren’t really able to do before. This is probably one of their best relationship qualities beside the strength that they have to fight for you and for the relationship no matter what anyone else says or thinks. Once they’ve chosen their partner, they are definitely the type who will prioritize the well being of their partner and of the relationship before anything else, as they are looking for success and they have come a long way, facing many challenges to learn how to be a good partner. They’ve come from a really sad past, they probably have lost a lot of things in life and there was definitely sadness when the two of you decided to call it quits, they might’ve blamed themselves and feel as though it was their fault because they weren’t good enough and it was like a war in their heads, going back and forth, being their worst enemy because they do like to feel connected to someone and have a romantic relationship that brings them joy. So they took their weaknesses, they took their own self-judgements and they transformed those into strength that helped them become better. Thing is, I don’t believe that this person has had another significant or important relationship to actually practice these skills and so they might be a bit clumsy at times in their relationship with you, so they might be learning how to actually apply them in a relationship with you. The obstacle here is literally not knowing how to properly adapt in a relationship to that flexible extent, they might take a while to practice to be able to reach a more proficient approach and show up the way they envisioned for themselves.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 2
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Pisces, Libra, Scorpio, Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius placements
Who are they?
Your person is definitely someone who’s loving and kind, they definitely seem to be the ones who have a really good heart, ready to give, ready to embrace love and offer it in a really sweet way and they totally do want to get married/be in a relationship and have that long-term commitment with someone. The issue here is that even though this person has a golden heart, the might’ve been taken advantage of it and they turned out to have quite a few self-defense mechanisms that you would need to get past before actually seeing the true them. It’s not that this person is actually testing you in any way, they just are extremely careful about the way they move into the world to be able to push aside anyone who doesn’t have genuine intentions towards them. That means that they take a lot of time to open up and at first you might see them as being indecisive, not knowing what they want or need, and kind of not moving the right way in a relationship because they are still testing the waters. You might see that this is actually out of their element in some way, the way these vibes fall onto them is just now who they really are and somehow, you will actually manage to see beyond this and expect or wait for more from them. They will do a lot to protect their own hearts, always being defensive of the most previous and sensitive parts of their being and they won’t reveal their true self all at once because that approach has hurt them in the past. They might feel extremely inadequate as well, especially having dealt with people with ill intentions, and they might feel as though there is no one genuine in the world, that they have to pretend they are someone they’re not just to protect themselves and they don’t think that’s the right approach, but that they have to do it anyways because if they don’t, they’re going to get hurt again. Once these layers of protection fall bit by bit, you’re going to see a new, adventurous and playful side of them, one that actually has a lot of hope and love to give. They’re extremely loyal, especially to those who are closest to them and want to explore life by their side.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
When it comes to how they’re going to show up in your life, there’s definitely a lot of insecurity and pain that will come through here, because they doubt themselves a lot. You can see that this person is someone who’s able to create a safe space for you to be fully yourself, one in which you feel loved and cared for, them being your biggest support system with anything you may need help with, especially mental health wise, they’ve been through a lot so they know a lot and they know how to handle different situations and be the person they never had for others. They are also incredibly good at understanding their emotions, for seeing things as they are and honestly, they are also extremely self aware, able to accept the truth about themselves and no run away from it no matter how harsh it might seem, but they’re still at a crossroads now, trying to get out of being the person they’ve been, with defense mechanisms, overthinking, over giving, over working, being at a distance from themselves and not being able to truly find themselves, to actually becoming something new. They have a lot of great things about themselves that they’ve forgotten about all this time because they were so stuck in being someone they were not due to their experiences. Now, in the relationship, they need to overcome a lot of obstacles and that might create more obstacles in the relationship, on your side of it as well. You may or may not be equipped to deal with their baggage, as it seems to be a lot to handle from their side and it might feel that when the two of you make progress towards being closer to one another, something happens and the progress you made is null. There are a lot of cycles on their end that are challenging and making the relationship difficult to maintain long term, because they have lost themselves and you might not fully see their actual sweet side for a while. They might give you bits and pieces here, but they’re not allowing themselves to be who they are out of fear, which is definitely going to make you think that they don’t have the bestest intentions towards you and that they’re just playing games. They will try their hardest to make you happy, but that’s going to cause stress for them, maybe even being paranoid most of the times and not believe in themselves that they can do this. They don’t want to disappoint you but they are a bit buried under the pile of behaviors that have helped them to keep on going. Change might be on the horizon though, something might trigger it in this relationship and they will have to make a decision to heal and move on from the old, as you might be nothing like those who took advantage of them. Trust needs to be built here.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 3
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Libra, Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Scorpio placements
Who are they?
Your person is someone who has come a long way in their journey of discovering themselves, especially because they seem to have started off with some beliefs and ideals that you can think your way through life, without feeling it at all. Feels like this person has been seeing life as an adventure, maybe even climbing their way up to where they are right now and things haven’t always been easy for them, especially in the beginning. They were unsure of themselves, unsure of their moves, only being equipped with very little knowledge about life from their caretakers and at times they had to learn the hard way how to deal with the things that came their way. This required them to be equipped with a sense of exploration when it came to the way they were thinking about things and the way they were perceiving them, thus managing to get out of their comfort zone and take risks due to the hunger and curiosity they had for life. Their parents might’ve been protective of them, there is this sense that they were quick thinkers, adventurers and wanting to explore the world, but being limited by the things around them, which has, in fact, never stopped them from going after what they wanted. Though, this has limited them a bit only on exploring the mind and not the heart. This person has matured rapidly, which also is a great example of someone who didn’t have time to learn all the skills necessary to enter the emotional world due to a lack of guidance and a push in a specific direction, so with that, they kept on exploring the mind until they started understanding it in a really elevated way up until they hit a dead end in their exploration which required them to dive deep into their emotions as well. That’s when they understood that it’s not all about what you think, there’s also always feelings involved that can offer as much information, if not more, than what the mind is providing.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
In all honesty, you can expect this person to be a little bit passive in the relationship as they are someone who usually introspects and self reflects a lot, rather than taking a really big and confident stand in any relationships. That’s something they still need to learn how to master, though they’re in the process of understanding their own emotions and they’re coming off as passive simply because within themselves, there’s big inner conflicts that keep on going on without ever stopping. They are trying their best to figure things out for themselves, making sure they are successful in anything they learn or acquire but don not expect huge gestures in the beginning from them. The more they explore their emotional world, the more inner conflict they have because they are going through major transformations in how they perceive the world around them and what they believe about various aspects of humanity and relationships in general. When one’s beliefs are being challenged, through various experiences, they’re not in a position in which they can actively respond because what they know to be true is actually crumbling and being replaced by a new one. It’s not that they wouldn’t want to show up in one way or the other, it’s that they are still learning how and while you might see this composed person, in reality, within themselves, they aren’t as composed as they appear. This exploration that they’re still doing is one of their obstacles, something they need to overcome and figure out on their own, but it’s being brought up by your relationship as you have a different approach than what they learned. Their positive side here is that they are open to learning and open to growing so this person is definitely going to want to learn more about how they can be a good partner to you and how they can show up so that you feel loved by them. They’re still new with emotions, but they are quick learners and over time, with their openness, they’re going to be really good with expressing their feelings for you and receiving the love that you’re giving them as well.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 4
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Scorpio, Aquarius, Gemini, Virgo, Cancer, Aries placements
Who are they?
They are someone who have been looked forward to having a relationship for a really long time. For a very few of you, this is someone who has either been forced to remain single due to religious reasons or to get ready for a pre-arranged marriage that wasn’t going to make them happy/they could also be divorced as well. It feels as though this person wants a good marriage, they want to be married if that is where the relationship leads, though it’s not constantly on their mind because to them, the most important is the journey of getting there and just experiencing and devoting themselves to a long-term commitment. This person could also have some physical disabilities or even struggle with some mental health disorders that to the world, they get to be a bit marginalized or pushed outside, and that’s felt lonely to them for a really long time because they felt as though no one really understands them for who they really are. This person, no matter of their characteristics which might be particular and fit only a few of your situations, they have been working really to be able to identify some things and certain people that are rare and beautiful within and without in the crowd. They’ve been looking for someone to stand out in ways that no one else would notice, only them, because they have sharpened their eye and their energy field to be able to feel who is that person that they have been looking for and so they do tend to trust their instincts pretty much when looking for new people in their life. They’re extremely kind and connected with their emotions, but very quick witted as well all at the same time. They are always changing and improving themselves, wanting to do and be better, especially because they have been treated poorly by others and they believe that change in the world starts with change within oneself. You might be seeing them struggle with an impostor syndrome as well, as they have gone through major negative experiences and they struggle a lot with believing in themselves and their own skills.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
When they come into your life, this person is going to definitely come off as stubborn and very subjective in their interactions with you; you might see them projecting a little bit onto you too especially due to the negative romantic experiences they have had before. With this person, it’s full of ups and downs, they might not be in your life for a really long time because they might not be actually the person that you’d like to be with or there is going to be some sort of break up and them coming back later on. It’s definitely going to be a combination of being kind of carless and projecting without thinking of consequences, which is going to cause them even more pain. The world has put a lot of pressure on them and has hurt them a lot, and that is just making them either be careless, not worry too much for too long and continue running away from themselves because they just don’t feel safe enough to remain in a single place. You might be fall for them, you might feel as though this person cares for you, and they do, they just have an extremely bad way of showing it because they’re still hurting and you definitely don’t have to stick around for that if there isn’t an equal exchange of energy between the two of you. It feels as though you’re giving this person what they need, sort of like it’s helping them start addressing and seeing themselves a bit more clearly, but they are in no position of giving back to you, due to being starved from love their entire life but also because you are way out of their league, especially when it comes to emotional maturity and growth. They’re in the process of becoming more mature, but they have a lot more to experience to get there and they don’t seem to be fully in alignment with you. The obstacles that they need to overcome here are created by themselves, they’re just self-sabotaging everything and then feeling hurt that they sabotaged it. They’re still hurting and they can’t fully see past that; it feels as though they are a bit stuck in a dream in which they’re doing everything right for you, in their heads, but when it comes to how they’re actually showing up for you, they seem to distance themselves and pull away, then they don’t understand why you do and say the things you do and say to them. They need more time on their own before actually being ready for something serious.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
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Pile 5
**This could also resonate with you if you have: Pisces, Sagittarius, Taurus, Scorpio,Virgo, Gemini placements
Who are they?
This person might be someone who has been stuck in situations in which they might’ve been the third wheel in a lot of situations, either at work, either in their friend group or in another relationship. It’s very likely that their previous partner has taken advantage of them, broke their heart because they wanted to be with someone else, or they have been in a polyamorous relationship in which the parties involved struggled with communication and building trust and safety. It didn’t really end well, but their past has a lot to do with commitment and whether or not that commitment was worth it to them, regardless of their own circumstances. They dedicated themselves to the person they were with and they over extended themselves to make that relationship work, they might’ve went above and beyond and in the end, they just received a really big baggage to carry. This person is still learning how to love themselves and how they can take care of their own needs and wants, they’re sort of in an exploration journey of figuring out what wounds are open, what hurts, what works for them and what doesn’t because they don’t really want to continue on being stuck in the same cycles over and over and over again. They are experiencing a lot of pressure and inner conflict on how to go about this, they don’t really know what to think to this day about what has happened in the past, but they are doing their best to keep going and try to figure it out, hoping that there is a better future waiting for them. They have a great support system, though, it feels like this person doesn’t like to ask for help and they’re only relying on themselves most of the time, which is no making it easier for them to deal with their issues. They might not trust people around them and they’re really independent, as they have learned that they can only trust and rely on themselves to be safe.
How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)
As you might’ve expected, this person is still going through a process of transformation that’s most likely going to last for a while so for a few years of you two being in each other’s lives, you might see that they are struggling and that they are in pain, which makes them have a little capacity for the love that they will show you. This doesn’t mean that they won’t do their best to be there for you and take you out and try to work as a team with you, but the extent to which they will do it might not feel your cup fully. They weren’t really looking for a relationship when they met you, but they actually ended up catching feelings for you and having you in their life just gives them hope that the future is going to be okay. Now, their challenges are just their pain, as if they do not properly deal with it, they might unintentionally hurt other people around them, including you, as a result of still being emotionally stuck in that moment in which they felt extremely betrayed. They are still grieving that relationship but most importantly grieving the happy and safe version of themselves that they left behind. They are sinking into this pain, giving into the desperation that they might not be able to figure it out and they certainly struggle with communicating their own pain. It feels as though this person might intellectualize it a lot, if they think about their feelings, they will probably not have to feel them and therefore they will not have to feel their pain, which is just a work around for them wanting to escape that experience and the feelings of pain that they have. They are avoiding it, whether they realize it or not, they are running away from it because they are on survival mode right now and until they learn how to calm their nervous system down, they will keep running away from their own self. This person is incredibly strong and resourceful, though they like to be in an energy of pursuing romantic interests, of being romantic and going on dates, building that relationship slowly. This also means that they usually like to find solutions to issues and they seem frozen right now so they do feel extremely powerless and guilty for now being able to show up in the way you should be treated. They will express their love through acts of service or taking care of you/buying you gifts, so while it may not seem like a lot, especially if that’s not your love language, they are doing it in the ways that feel safe for them. The positives here is the fact that they want to change, they want to do better, and right now they are a work in progress so even if they want to, it will still be on them to actually become who they want to be.
If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋
Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx
Dividers by Kawaii-Lau on Tumblr
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psychelis-new · 5 months
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pick a pile: "You are..." - Loving and encouraging words for you
take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read some loving warm words about you. it's always nice to hear about our positive traits, right? here you can find yours and some encouraging words about your next steps/healing. keep going and take care of you! and also, be ready to let love in, you deserve it :)
don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.
(photos found on unsplash)
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pile 1
You are sunny, cheerful, bright and warm. You're also pretty welcoming and you like to hug people or generally enjoy physical displays of affection. I think people like to be around you, you basically cheer up everyone and "set the mood for the evening" (I just heard that, IDK). You have a lovely smile, everyone is in awe with it and you in general; maybe you also have a particular way to laugh? Like you maybe make a strange sound, and everyone is fond of it. They love to make you laugh honestly just to hear it. I feel like you take emotional care of others and you may feel like a sip of fresh water to many. You're extrovert (or at least seem so in specific context), confident and you know exactly what to do or say to make the day of the people you are in contact with. I think you may share smiles with people on the street and even help them if they need (eg. like if they drop something you may pick it up for them, especially for older people or you may leave your seat to them). I think you are very funny and smart, and like to joke a lot. Okay for some of you you may have changed after something happened and keep this sunny side of you a bit hidden (or maybe you occasionally fear being judged about it, or you have been), but honestly I think you only need to reconnect with it and let it flow from you. It's hurtful when some things happen but it's also something that... just happens in life, sadly (I'm not trying to invalidate your experience/pain, at all). We don't have to let those negative things change us so much, especially if we still feel that flame/desire inside. I mean... don't feel guilty for being happy, if that's what you feel. You can be happy no matter what happened. You have to be happy. Find new ways for that happiness to flow within but reach it "and let it rain" out of you. Enjoy it, let it be there and help you heal what hurt as well, if you need. You can find new happiness anytime. New reasons to be happy, too. This is also true for the few of you who tend to hide pain behind a smile, pretending it's all good. Toxic positivity won't solve it, as avoiding problems. Be more balanced (maybe you were called by pile 2 as well) and accepting of what is wrong: it doesn't mean you let it take over you (ask for help if it's too scary), it means you're not being blind to it but you're listening to it and trying to make it better (ofc you can wear a smile while you do that, you totally have to! Healing happens also with taking breaks to enjoy life and hobbies/passions...). You are such a beam of light for everyone, confront your problems (if there's any) and then keep on shining!
song: chicken noodle soup | j-hope; wake me up before you go go | wham! (I channeled the first song while doing your reading, anyway the mood for you is: jitterbug!)
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pile 2
You are strong, pure and very special. You stand out, and honestly you don't even have to do much to stand out. I think it's your energy: it also has something healing for those that comes near you, something comforting. You should be more confident in yourself: maybe you also doubt about your looks or how you may be seen/perceived by others but honestly you have/are nothing less than anyone else. You are caring and have a good heart; maybe you have buildt some walls around yourself out of past traumas, and this is blocking you a little when it comes to sharing with others or creating deeper relationships. It's okay take your time to work through those walls. You have beautiful eyes, and maybe you like to look at others in the eyes too? I think you are also sincere, honest and humble, at times also to a fault: please do stand up for yourself when you need, and set your boundaries. You may also be a bit too strict on you, especially when you make some type of mistakes or something? Maybe it's the fear I mentioned in the beginning of being perceived as you're not or in a bad way, or maybe... at times you may be scared of your thoughts somehow. It's not just the anxiety you may get from them and how they may make you spiral so you tend to stop them (it's okay to do this and distract your mind when you start feeling overwhelmed, but please come back to those thoughts when you feel calmer: to avoid thinking about a problem won't help you solve it at all, it will come back stronger. And please ask for help if you need), but there's also something else. Remind yourself usually the first thought is what we learned, our instinctive first reaction to a situation (usually comes up to "protect us") while the second thought we have is the one that comes from the heart, it really expresses what we think with a calmer and more balanced mind. I mean, eg. let's say someone says they got something you always wanted and this triggers you: your first reaction could also be being envious of them and feel not enough compared to them and potentially say or think something negative/feel resentful or angry, but if you stopped and thought about it again, you may just be really happy for this person and see yourself as on a different path: your time will come too. Be more kind with yourself, more patient: you're unlearning a negative mental pattern and that's not easy, it will take time and practice and lot of patience. You are so lovely you have no idea, please try to see and show that yourself too.
song: a little bit yours | jp saxe (indeed come back to your core self and show yourself love, and accept it too; closing chapters, changing and unlearning stuff is hard, but you can make it)
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pile 3
You are multilayered. You have lovely rosey cheeks, people may want to squeeze them lol. You are sweet and cute, you probably are also a little shy or maybe you feel anxious in social settings and you may end up blushing a lot. You may also be stubborn occasionally (not too bad tbh) and can be determined or at least you reach good results in job/school. I think you tend to hide a part of yourself though or find it hard to deal with it/not like it. There's something you fear showing or that you don't want others to see about you, probably your pain, probably something from your past that you keep inside (also cause you can't accept/understand it -it could be abuse for someone, I hope you are safe now). Maybe you're also "scared"... of being loved/seen for real (having your "mask removed"?) or feeling vulnerable... Your energy feels younger or maybe just unexperienced in some fields or situations (maybe you also feel uncomfortable in some situations or you felt so in the past and you avoided joining them so now you feel a little behind maybe: honestly, there's nothing bad in this. You're not behind, you just did what was better for you and you still have time to make more experiences. You have all the time you need and want). I think there's indeed something about time here, it could be you are nostalgic about something that now you are missing/lacking, maybe feelings you could experience in your childhood, or you want to delete something from your past, or it could be that you fear running out of time, as mentioned, as you want to experience many things still but maybe you are scared you won't make it or you don't know where to start from. Just take a break: the moment you'll feel more grounded, it will come to you. Focus on taking care of you and also do take naps if you need and can. If it's about your childhood, eg. if people taught you have to "grow up" or have dimmed you in any way (or you had to, in order to gain their approval), remember you don't really have to forget about your inner child nor to be someone you're not. You can be an adult and still be in touch with your inner child. It's not that one thing excludes the other. And you can be yourself without any fear (it's hard to believe it but you won't be pushed away by everyone if you aren't as they wish). Maybe your inner child now really needs you to be closer to them, they need your appreciation and support, probably also after something you had to go through in your past: your inner child totally did great back then with all they had. Hug them and show them love. I think some of you may also love to work or be around children or pets as they may help you feel more in touch with your own inner child and more grounded. Again, be attentive to your needs, and meet them: maybe you were *unwillingly* taught you don't deserve that much (you had to accept crumbles in relationships) but it's not so, you deserve the moon: remember this. You're already perfect, there's nothing about you in your past or present that you need to fix, my love. Heal your fears about being yourself, receiving (love in particular) and don't run away from it, don't run away from yourself: you'll get all you wish for. Give it and yourself time. And, if you need this: it wasn't your fault, you were not responsible for that event/decision for which you feel like you were (and maybe you didn't even had to take). Whatever it was. You were trying to win the approval of someone who couldn't love you as you wished. Build boundaries around people (adults) and remember you are not responsible for them and what they do/their mistakes: you're not here to save them from anything. You have your own self and life to care about now.
song: heart attack | demi lovato
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astrologylunadream · 2 months
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What Type of Lover Would They Be? 💌🍓🖤 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)
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Hi it's Lunadream❤️ This is a reading on your person and the type of lover they are/would be like with you!👀💋 hope you find your message🌸
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸❤️
Pile 1🍫
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Pile 2🥛
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Pile 3🥀
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Pile 4🍓
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Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> 💌
Pile 1🍫
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Sign energy: Unexpected, Activity, Soft spot, Energy, Hold, Lilith, Chiron, Libra, Gemini, 1st house, Vertex,🎶💃👿🤵‍♂️
👤Your person's energy: Oh my pile 1 your person is fiesty😂😂 There is a lot of passion and energy to this pile, I know this is about your person but I am also getting some fire energy from you guys🙈🔥 Some of you could be aries, leo or sagittarius placements in your charts, my pile 1's are so irresistible!!🥰 Now this person has a lot energy physically, I feel like they can do a lot without getting burnt out, probably can work out often. On their own this person can be forward and a little impulsive but they also have a very gentle side.🥹🩷 This person tends to be direct in their thinking, for some lf you this person curses a lot😂🤬 Physically they have a certain charm about them, because they can look mean yet soft and sweet at the same time?? It just kinda comes off as hot tbh😂😭 Oh and prominent signs in their chart are Libra, Gemini, and Aries. They have a mars mercury feel to them, they could talk fast or bluntly. They do have an unexpected dark side to them, maybe they have a soft image but then they're a devil in disguise omg😈 Nothing bad but, they have another vibe to them that's really passionate and aggressive even?? Maybe they have a bit of a resting b*tch face but you think it's so cute😆 Oh hold on I'm just getting something, you guys may see this person as the love of your life, you're soft for them🥺💞💋 Other people may think they're bad news but in your eyes they're literally the sweetest thing ever.🤭🌸 This connection could be on hold for some of you, there is some sort of barrier between physical touch with this person right now for some sudden reason. Maybe someone is into healing music? Music could be healing for this person. You like the way this person thinks, they're like a cute little devil to you.😂 They may look really adorable to you when they're angry, some of my pile 1's want to marry this person💍💕 They could be toned/strong physically, random but their hand grip is very strong? Like they can open a jar or crush things with their hand?😂🫣 You may be able to spot them easily by their hands. Honestly this is just so cute🥰
🌹What type of lover they are with you: Target, Winter, Remedy, Listen, Unafraid, 11th house, Sun, 3rd house, Sagittarius, Saturn,🎱🩲🤬🫐 Lol wtf are these emojis help- Umm so your person would be the type of lover that's like a best friend, they might would want to be friends first before getting into the relationship with you.🙃 Despite their forward approach to communication, when it comes to you they would be the BEST listener omg this is so sweet😭💖 Like they would be all ears for whatever you have to say💬 it's just so cute because it really felt like they're the type to cut people off easily when they talk and not take time to listen but PILE 1 when it comes to you they will never interrupt you🥺💕💞 They are naturally a very fun type of lover with you, they would be brave and daring in their attempts to win you over😆 Like they are not afraid to make any bold moves or mistakes.💪😎 In a relationship with you, they are like the shining sun keeping you warm in the cold winter. They may try to befriend your friends, and talk about how lucky they are to have you🤭 Your person would be giving sibling, best friend and lover energy all at once. But as childish and bright as they may act with you, they are also a very dominant type.😳❤️‍🔥⛓️ So like one minute they're joking with you and then the next they're choking with you (if you know what I mean!!🥵) Yeah also they're the kind of lover that's very handsy in a relationship with you, they may always wanna have their hand on your shoulder or other places😭 They might be a little reckless around you, simply because they get all bright and excited when they're with you🥹💖 But they are also the kind to take you seriously when needed, like they would really commit🫶 They may be the kind to tell dirty jokes with you, just throwing it out there to get your reply🫣 So basically they can be really fun and silly but also hot af with you😭⁉️ I see them smirking all the time and nudging you, as your lover they would get very intense when you two are alone❤️‍🔥⛓️ Also they may love arguing with you then suddenly making out with you??😳 AHH Yeah I can definitely see that for your person, they're the sweet and funny type but can be dominant and aggressive with you if you want it😈😰😭
💌Messages from your person: What happened? Let's take our time, I wish I could control it, Someone will love you, It's all real (Omg yess pile 1 it's reaaal🥰) Extra cards: Spell, Mean, Submissive, Mutable, Skill (Some of you may be mutable signs, Pisces, Virgo, Gemini, Sagittarius✨️ I love this connection you two have it's really something special🌹)
Haha this pile was A LOT omg!!😂🩷 Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the chocolate emoji~🍫 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Pile 2🥛
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Sign energy: Tea, Twin flame, Imagination, Darling, Rebellion, 3rd house, Vertex, 5th house, 9th house, 11th house,🤗🪸🥠🫧
👤Your person's energy: Ah they're very attractive aren't they?? Some of my pile 2's have a lot of fantasies about this person🥺💭 This may be a twin flame/soulmate connection to you, they feel like your soul twin🩷 You may interact with this person through social media/online, I am getting lots of mirrored energy. Prominent Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, and Aquarius in their chart.✨️ I feel like this person makes you very happy, you just want to hug them😢💖 I am getting water energy from some of my pile 2's, especially neptune placements.🔱💕 This connection feels fateful to you guys, maybe you've even been manifesting this person?🙏 Tea may be significant, also for some of you this person could be from a different culture or background than you. They could also have a thirst for traveling to other countries.✈️ Maybe their beliefs are a bit rebellious? They desire to befriend people of different countries and ethnicities. They have a charming bright aura and smile made of sunshine, also you are friends with this person or want to be!!🥺🩷 This person may have a unique way of speaking or communicating with others, some people may find it strange but you find is intriguing.💬✨️ For physical appearance, maybe unique hair. They are giving an eccentric and creative vibe, they may be into unusual music or art. They have strange tastes for some of you, a lot of manifestation from this pile. If you're manifesting this person just know it's working!!🥰 The fortune cookie emoji is very promising, there is the working of fate for this connection. Soulmate/twin flame vibes take what resonates~💞
🌹What type of lover they are with you: Daily, Situation, Inactivity, Benefits, Feminine, Aries, Earth, Chiron, Sagittarius, Air,🕸🧖‍♀️🦥🧊 Okay interesting so the first thing I'm noticing with your person is that they are the type of lover to do considerably feminine activities with you, like going shopping or pampering yourselves.💅🛍💖 They may be very helpful if you two ever trave to another country, maybe they speak a language well? And you can benefit from that with your person🤭💫 You may also have many travel benefits and opportunities when you're with them, as well as learning new things. I can see that your person is the type to go pretty fast into the relationship with you, they might just start dating you kind of out of nowhere that's the vibe I'm getting from your person lol😂 They may try to take really good care of themselves, wear expensive clothes and look good just for you✨️💗🥺 There is this energy, like they may be really worried about having a relationship come to a stop or just die so like they try to do as much as they can to keep you interested every day😭 They are a bit clingy, so they are the type to have their arm around you a lot.👀💕 Some of my pile 2's this is a very feminine person when in a relationship with you, they may act as the feminine in the relationship.♀️ I do see you two doing a lot of sweet activities together, self care is something you both share.💝🪞🧼 You two could get caught up in some petty fights sometimes, but then they just hug you and cuddle you making it hard to stay mad at them🥹🙊 I can see this person being protective of you. They may enjoy buying you products for you to use, like nice bathroom products✨️🧴 Wow it's like this person knows you so well because they are into similar things, also, they may like to touch your thighs a lot. I can see them wanting to grab your leg often when you two are dating.😭😨💞 For those who this is a masculine they have a lot of understanding and respect for you guys🥺 Like they are not afraid to seem less masculine by sharing the things you love, like if it's what pile 2 wants it doesn't matter to me <3 I'm just getting such soft and sweet masculine vibes for those, this could be a sort of relationship that just happens somehow. Like situationship kinda thing.🤯 For some of you this person may be a little jealous of you?? There is some competitive energy here. Ohh but you guys make such a cute couple, like a very feminine one.😘💞💅 I can just see you two buying cute clothes and spending time doing your favorite things together!!
💌Messages from your person: So what, I like the pain, Just say the word, I'm in trouble, Don't waste your time (For some of you this person feels like a situation won't work out, they may be having negative thoughts about this connection😢 It could be a sort of masochistic view on the relationship, like they want things to go wrong for their suffering. This person may have a lot of emotional wounds, also they could feel they aren't good enough for you like "just give up on me" kinda thing🥺💔) Extra cards: Protection, True, Indecision, Slow, Trial and error (Ohh but it's true that they wanna protect and heal you guys, but they're just really confused, like they feel so slow and can't make up their mind right now!!😫💗)
Wow I didn't expect all that🤯 Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the milk emoji~🥛 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Pile 3🥀
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Sign energy: North node, Learn, Locked, Good, Hard, Water, North node, 7th house, 2nd house, 1st house,🪃❤️😁���
👤Your person's energy: Ooh lovers energies in this pile!! OH MY this could be someone you are meant to be with💖 Signs for them are Libra, Taurus, Aries.. Venus placements! Oh also water signs. They could have a pretty voice, very clear and nice.🗣✨️ Some of my pile 3's will come in contact with this person soon, most likely a phsyical encounter soon!!🤗 This is a romantic option for you guys, you may consider this person to be the love of your life.💐 You feel very connected to this person, romantically this person may be committed to you in some way.💍🩷 This could be a twin flame/soulmate connection for some, there is a lot of love and attraction to this person.🥰 North node came out twice I just realized, so there could be a lot happening really soon or in the future with this person? Actually that's very promising, this is a very loving and sweet person.🥺💕 They could be a water rising, also may have soft skin. This could be someone who always comes back to you or always will, because they are linked to you in some way. It's like no matter what they will always be connected to you guys💗🔗😱 Definitely romantic feelings for this person, my pile 3's are in love with them omggg🥺 You could be dead set on marrying this person. Also you may be possessive over this person, like you want them to be yours only.💞 Ugh I can just feel so much love and need for this person, you guys are so soft for them😭 I also feel like some of my pile 3's are actually already in a relationship with this person, but not all. This person is very physically attractive, they could have venus on their rising too.🫢💋 People may consider them a good kisser? Lol dunno why that's coming through, they may have very kissable lips. Something about this person is heavy, they feel very grounded and calm. You may learn a lot from this person or the other way around they may learn a lot from you, I see a lot of growth in this person.🩷 Their physical appearance is coming through a lot, I feel like you guys just can't control yourselves around this person like you just wanna touch them so bad LMAO👐😭 Something is definitely going to happen soon with this person, lol there is just so much romantic energy thrown in my face with this one you guys love is written all over this person😂 You are also very excited about them, they make you all giddy and cute💗
🌹What type of lover they are with you: Lack, Risk, Rest, Emotional, Affection, 5th house, Eros, 3rd house, Pisces, 4th house,❤️‍🔥🪐🛎🕹 Ohhh pile 3 this gooood😍❤️ This person as a lover is passionate, romantic and caring. They will want to play and have fun with you, very teasing and charming🩷 The relationship is filled with love and attraction, they're the type to shower you with compliments and tell you how attractive you are to them🌹💖 They are very affectionate as your lover!! The type to embrace you lovingly and kiss you as much as you'd like🥺💋 They're such a flirt with you, but it's so genuine??😭 Like it literally comes from their heart and it just pours out of them how much they love you.❤️ Now this person may conceal these feelings or restrict themselves from affection towards you, they could feel it is immature or irresponsible to indulge in that as the please. (But they really want to😩) The beginning of the relationship might would start out very difficult for them to show their love, because they would be denying it. But as your lover this person would eventually let loose and give in to all the many desires they keep locked away because guess what, they can't control themselves with you🤪🙈❤️‍🔥 They are really a wild and passionate lover with you, so romantic it's crazy. The type to cuddle you tight and rest with you, taking naps with you aw🥺💞 But also they talk a lot with you, like they won't shut up or stop flirting with you😂 Persistent af. They also want to control you and have fun with you like you're their toy🥵 Also they enjoy teasing and playing all sorts of little games with you. They're the type to make you feel loved and comfortable then suddenly they pin you down and catch you by surprise😭🔞 I won't go into everything but they definitely are a very VERY passionate lover with you. Like they want to turn on a lot, very risky with you. But also emotionally attached to you, they are really sweet but also really naughty.😳❤️‍🔥 You guys are connected on a soul level, they get so hot with you oml. Oh my pile 3 they are really into you as a lover, also they're very entertaining and love your attention.👑 The dynamic you guys have is literally everything😭 They are a lover that would desire you, treat you so good, and spoil you. Warm hugs and hot kisses, also they would commit to you. Like they only see you omg, you are the object of their affections.😍❤️❤️❤️
💌Messages from your person: Anything please, I'll do, How do you think I feel? We're compatible, You make me nervous (Omg your person knows you two are like 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Also they're down for anything but also hella nervous about you🥺💞) Extra cards: Dominant, Catch, Orange, Fake smile, Tangled (Yeah they want to catch you and tie you up and much much more that I won't go into...!!!😭🔞)
This pile got crazy!! Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the rose petals emoji~🥀 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Pile 4🍓
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Sign energy: Demeanor, View, Sight, Deep, First date, 9th house, Pisces, 11th house, Water, Eros,🛸🥳🍋😎
👤Your person's energy: You guys may view this person from social media/online, a lot of my pile 4's are not present in this person's life, they could be at a distance right now.🥲 For some of you this is an online dating thing or you could be manifesting to date this person.🙏💗 They're really cool omg, they have a unique and exotic charm about them. They could be from overseas or abroad, or have traveled a lot.✈️✨️ Some of you keep a check on this person through divinity or spiritual sources. They are knowledgeable and kind, signs in their chart could be Sagittarius, Pisces, Aquarius, and water placements.🥰💫 You have a deep admiration for this person, you may look up to them. They have a vibe about them, really unlike any other.🩷 You may have dreams of this person or that is where you see them often. This feels like someone very far away, they feel like an alien on another planet to you. That is their energy.👽🤔 Perhaps you feel very different than this person in some ways, they are mentally very attractive.💭 Some of you could be friends with this person, or they just seem like they would make a good friend. They are creative and have good ideas, you support their imagination.💡💖 This person is very fun and bright, but I'm also getting this swag about them. Eccentric and hot??😂 They just have such a fresh vibe about them, also they could have a water sign as their 9th house. Some of you watch this person from a distance like online, you may look at their page often but remain unseen.🤫 They could be a bit of a rebel, like they dyed their hair or dress different than how they were told. Something about them is just different, and you really like that about them omg🥰
🌹What type of lover they are with you: More, Doctor, Uranus, Uniqueness, Hot, 5th house, Virgo, 1st house, Mercury, 6th house, 🔚🌇🗒🏍 Lol this person's gonna get handsy with you guys- OMG so they would treat you really special, unlike anyone else.🔥 They are the type to keep wanting more more more😭😭😭 They can't get enough of you as your lover, the attractive just grows. The way they talk to you as your lover is very different than how they usually talk, like it speeds up and things get really hot🤯❤️‍🔥 They think of you a lot, also I keep getting  freaky vibes so.. uh... you know what that means😳🙊 They may want to take care of you, and mantain a healthy lifestyle in a relationship with you.🥗🩷 But also when you two are together, they feel like they can finally be themselves😇 Like they can be as weird and nonconforming as they wanna be. They feel like you won't judge them, there is a lot of communication from this person as your lover. They will talk a lot with you, the kind to talk about all sorts of random things💬😂💖 In a relationship with you, this person is witty and entertaining. Like you will never get bored with their conversations🩷 They might overthink about you though, especially if they think of something they shouldnt😳👿 I can see them writing down every detail and quirk about you they love😇 They would find you so fascinating, because to them you would make them feel not so strange. Aw they would feel so accepted by you as your lover, you heal them really.🥺💞 They are the type to touch you a lot, this could be very often😳 They could like holding hands with you, also holding your waist. For some of you I can imagine you guys start dating online first, but only some.🤳🩷👀 Also they're the type of lover that loves taking selfies of you two together😍 Also just taking photos of you in general would be their favorite hobby~ Oh and uh... filiming whatever else they find interesting😳🔞 They are the kind to tell you "you're perfect" or "you look so hot" while you're just like eating chips and watching tv lmaooo also like when you're just talking about your playlist or something they just start making out with you at the most unexpected times HELP😂🥵 Like they wouldn't even give you a warning they are an unpredictable lover to say the least, but it's hot.❤️‍🔥
💌Messages from your person: I would hurt whoever hurts you, You can't control me, You can do it, I wanna steal your kiss, You know I love you (OHH pile 4 you better knowww🥵🥵🥵) Extra cards: Inspiration, King, Sugar, Unhealthy, Waist (They have some crazy fantasy about you guys oml🔞 Didn't I say they would wanna grab your waist? Well it's here oml that energy is raging that's all I'm gonna say😭)
Okayy that was fun!! thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3
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pickingupmymercedes · 1 month
Text
Thank you, for everything (it takes a village) - Lewis Hamilton ft. Ayrton Senna
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Little something for the 30th Anniversary of Senna's legacy
pairing: Senna! Reader X Lewis Hamilton
warnings: mentions of death, mourning, 30th anniversary of Senna's legacy
wordcount: +4k
song: In your arms - Birdy
a/n: People in Brasil don't say is the anniversary of his death but rather of his legacy, and it's such a beautiful way to see it. I hope Ayrton knows, wherever he is, how loved he still is.
a/n.2: Ayrton was known as Beco/Becão by his family and friends
As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi! (Also, my written portuguese is a bit rusty, so if there's anything weird, please let me know)
______________________________________________________________
When hope went away I still held on, to the love that you gave, it’s all I’ve got of you now. I will never know you, don’t get to understand, no answers to questions. It’s too late for that. But I was in your arms, once
A pre-dawn Miami humidity clung to y/n like a second skin, even inside the automatically cooled hotel room. The city slept, but the salty air carried a raw energy that mirrored the turmoil brewing within her. Today, the 1st of May, was a day she always needed to face alone.
She laid there, staring at the ceiling, the weight growing with each passing moment. Today, the air itself seemed thick with an unspoken grief, a shared memory of loss that resonated across the globe. 30 years. Three decades since the world had watched in horror as lives changed forever, hers included.
The sheets felt too restrictive, the silence too loud. Pulling them back, she tiptoed past the rumpled form of Lewis, still fast asleep. He'd offered to come with her, to run by the beach together, but she needed this. Needed the solitude, the rhythmic pounding of her feet against the pavement to chase away the ghosts of a past she barely remembered.
Miami slept, bathed in the faint glow of pre-dawn light, but Y/N felt wide awake, her mind a whirlwind of emotions. Stepping out onto the balcony, the salty air stung her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she gazed out at the vast expanse of the ocean, the darkness slowly giving way to a canvas of vibrant oranges and pinks.
A single tear traced a path down her cheek, a silent tribute to a love stolen too soon. Every year on this day, it was as if the world held its breath, waiting for her grief to surface. This anniversary wasn't a celebration; it was a stark reminder of the void that had forever shaped her life.
The need to move, to outrun the memories that threatened to consume her, became an insistent ache. With each step, a memory flickered to life, but one always stood out the most, the one few people knew of.
She was four, piloting her tiny kart around a makeshift track at Interlagos. The familiar scent of burnt rubber and exhaust fumes flooded her senses, transporting her back to a time before tragedy struck. Y/n grinned, her hair whipping in the wind, as she pushed her little kart to its limits.
A wild turn, a sickening jolt, and the world tilted sideways. Then, strong arms scooped her up. "Tudo bem aí, filha?" (Everything okay there, darling?)  Her father's voice, warm and reassuring. He checked her over, a playful glint in his dark brown eyes. "Você tava indo bem, se assustou?" (You were doing great, did you scare yourself?)
Y/n shook her head, a defiant tear clinging to her cheek. “Eu acho que tá bom por hoje já.” (I think that’s enough for today) Ayrton ruffled her hair, a conforting glint in his eyes. “Não pai, eu quero baixar o tempo da volta”(No dad, I wanna lap faster) little y/n stood her ground, already half way back into her kart. "Vamos voltar lá e mostrar como se faz então, Senninha” (Let’s go back there and show who’s boss then, Senninha).
The memory faded, replaced by the rhythmic sound of the waves. Y/n stopped, chest heaving. Frustration gnawed at her. She would never know that feeling of hearing him cheer her on in that deep, familiar voice again. All she had were these fleeting snippets, these echoes of a life stolen too soon.
Each stride was a battle cry against the past, a desperate attempt to find some semblance of peace. She ran until the sun climbed higher, painting the sky in vibrant hues, until her lungs burned and her legs screamed for mercy. Finally, Y/n slowed to a walk, chest heaving, sweat stinging her eyes.
Collapsing onto a weathered bench, she leaned forward, hands on her knees, gasping for breath. As the initial wave of exhaustion subsided, a new clarity washed over her. The memories would always be there, a bittersweet reminder of a love lost.
But today, she would celebrate his life, his passion, his legacy that lived on, not just in her name, but in the hearts of countless who still chanted his name at races.
Returning to the hotel, Y/n showered, the steam slowly clearing the remnants of the run and the emotional turmoil. Opening the bathroom door, she found Lewis propped up on the bed, scrolling through his phone. He looked up, a concerned look in his warm brown eyes.
"Morning," he said, his voice slightly raspy. "Early run?"
She offered a tired smile. "Needed to clear my head." She sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling a towel around her damp hair. "Big day ahead"
Lewis put down his phone, his gaze intent on her. "Yeah," he agreed, his voice softer now. "You alright?"
Taking another deep breath, she met his gaze. "Yeah, I'll be okay. Just… emotional, even more so this year"
Lewis reached out and took her hand, his touch a warm anchor in the storm of her emotions. "No judgment," he said quietly. "Today isn't easy for you, I know."
Y/n leaned into his touch, finding comfort in his understanding. "Interviews all day and the dinner at night" she sighed. "They want me to relive it all – the memories, the grief. It gets exhausting sometimes."
Lewis nodded. "Maybe you could have your people reschedule some of it. There's no need to—"
She cut him off with a gentle shake of her head. "No, Lew. I can't hide from it. Today may be hard, but it's important. It's a chance to celebrate his life, to keep his memory alive." she squeezed his hand, a newfound determination strengthening her resolve. "I just…" she hesitated, her voice thick with emotion, "I wish I could remember more."
Lewis's gaze softened further. "You may not have years of childhood memories, but you carry his spirit in you. His passion, his strength, that's part of who you are."
Y/n looked out the window, at the city slowly waking up to a new day. His words held truth. She may not have clear memories of her father, but his legacy, his love, was woven into the fabric of her being.
Taking another deep breath, she met Lewis's gaze, a small smile danced in her eyes "I hope so.”
Today would be impossibly hard. As people celebrated a hero, she would mourn a loss, but they would all be facing the future nonetheless. He may have been gone, but the love he gave her remained, with her and in her.
"I remember you my way, It’s not perfect or fair, I paint you with colours, That weren’t ever there. Feels harder these days after so long, ‘Cause my memory fades"
The sterile hotel conference room felt strangely warm, the air thick with a mix of anticipation and unspoken grief. Y/n sat opposite Galvão Bueno, the legendary Brazilian motorsport commentator, his kind eyes reflecting a lifetime of witnessing triumphs and tragedies on the track.
But this wasn't just another interview. Galvão knew Ayrton. Knew him not just as a driver, but as a friend, a competitor, a kindred spirit who left a void in Brazilian hearts, and most acutely, in Y/n's.
The interview began, a dance between formality and shared history. Galvão's questions flowed, laced with a quiet respect that Y/n appreciated. "Ayrton" he began, a nostalgic smile playing on his lips "sempre teve uma maneira diferente de cativar o público” (always had a way of captivating a room"
Y/n nodded, a flicker of curiosity sparking in her eyes. "Ele tinha” (He did) she admitted "Mas para ser bem honesta, eu lembro de sempre ficar puxando ele para sair dos lugares porque ele parava para conversar com todo mundo” (But to be honest, I remember always dragging him out of every room because he would stop and talk to everyone)
A warm chuckle escaped Galvão's lips at her confession. He leaned forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Você sabia que antes de toda corrida, ele fazia um ritualzinho? Ele parava na frente do carro, fechava os olhos, e... bom, ninguém sabe direito o que ele fazia. Mas ele tocava o carro em três lugares específicos – o nariz, a roda direita dianteira, e aqui” (Did you know that before every race, he'd have this little ritual? He'd stand by his car, close his eyes, and…well, no one knew exactly what he did, but he'd touch the car in three specific places – the nose cone, the front right wheel, and then, right here) Galvão tapped his chest over his heart.
Y/n smiled, surprised that someone still remembered that sequence. But, although this was the Ayrton Senna she knew from the countless documentaries and newsreels, how he recounted that from memory was a glimpse of a private Ayrton, a man seeking solace and strength before the roar of the engines began, not something she would notice while watching a video.
"E tem mais, Senninha” (There's more, Senninha) he said, using the affectionate nickname many Brazilians called her by. "Você sabe que ele era muito supersticioso. Ele nunca usava um capacete novo pela primeira vez em um final de semana de corrida. Sempre insistia em um mais velho, mesmo que estivesse ruim para usar.” (He was fiercely superstitious, you see. He wouldn't wear a new helmet for the first time on a race weekend. Always insisted on the old one, even if it was a little worse for wear.)
Y/n couldn't help but let out a small laugh, a welcome sound that broke the tension in the room. "Parece exatamente algo que ele faria” (That sounds exactly like something he’d do) she said, a newfound appreciation blooming in her chest.
Galvão continued, weaving a tapestry of anecdotes. He spoke of Ayrton's meticulous work ethic, his relentless pursuit of perfection, and then, with a twinkle in his eye, of his playful side. "Ele sempre arrastava os reporters brasileiros para o kart em Interlagos, lá onde você aprendeu a pilotar” (He'd always drag Brazilian reporters to go-kart at Interlagos, right there where you learned how to race" he reminisced, a fond smile creasing his face. "E deixa eu te contar, seu pai sempre ganhava da gente, por muito!" (And let me tell you, your father would always beat us, by far)
Y/n listened, captivated. These were stories of a man, not just a legend. A man who found joy in competition, even outside the high-pressure world of Formula One. As the interview progressed, a kaleidoscope of Ayrton unfolded before her, a man filled with complexities and contradictions, yet undeniably her father.
Stepping out of the stifling conference room, Y/n felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. Galvão's interview had stirred a potent cocktail of emotions within her – a heady mix of pride, nostalgia, and a gnawing sense of loss. Back in her hotel room, she found her ant Viviane unpacking a basket of goodies as she waited for her youngest niece. The scent of warm pão de queijo filled the air, a familiar comfort amidst the whirlwind of emotions.
"Você chegou, florzinha" (You’re here, little flower) the elder woman said, her voice as warm as the sun, pulling Y/n into a tight embrace. "Como foi?” (How did it go)
Y/n sank into the hug, the scent of lavender and her ant’s comforting embrace temporarily pushing aside the weight of the interview. "Foi bom” (It was good) she mumbled, pulling away slightly. “Galvão knew Dad well, that's for sure” y/n’s changed to English, hoping it’d be okay to use the language she didn’t have to think so hard to answer back in.
Both women sat by the outdoor sitting area of the room, the crash of the waves a comforting distraction as y/n ate the last bits of the cheese bread that were being served all day during the interviews on the anniversary and promotions for the new Netflix show.
"I believe everything's going well for the dinner latter tonight” the younger offered, more out of obligation than conviction. Viviane’s gaze sharpened, the lines around her eyes crinkling with a quiet understanding. She held Y/n’s gaze until she asked "But something troubles you, doesn't it?"
Y/n hesitated, her fingers fiddling with the edge of her shirt. It was a familiar pattern her family knew all too well, the switch to English, the fiddling, the lack of glint in the eyes she had inherited from Ayrton.
Taking a deep breath, y/n confessed, "It's just…all these interviews, all these stories about Dad. I feel like everyone knew a part of him I never did."
A shadow flickered across Viviane’s face, a brief echo of the grief they both still carried. She reached out, gently squeezing Y/n's hand. "My love" she began, her voice soft yet firm “Beco was a complex man. Even those closest to him couldn't fully grasp him. He was a whirlwind, a force of nature on the track, but off it…" she paused, a wistful smile gracing her lips. "He was a private man, and yes, perhaps a little distant at times. He lived for his racing, dedicating every fiber to it."
Y/n nodded, a familiar ache tightening her chest. "It's not that I blame him," she said quietly. "He was the best."
Viviane’s smile softened. "He was, my darling. But being the best came at a cost. It left little room for the mundane, the everyday things that build memories."
A flicker of a childhood memory sparked in Y/n's mind – the faint scent of her father's cologne, the warmth of his hand enveloping hers as they walked through a park. They weren't grand gestures, but they were hers, proof of a love that existed beyond trophies and championships.
The elder saw the shift in Y/n's eyes, the glimmer of a forgotten memory. "Não se compare com o Galvão ou com qualquer outro, meu amor” (Don't compare yourself to Galvão or the others, my love) she said gently. "Você é a filha dele. Você conheceu o Beco, o homem com o mesmo olhar que o seu” (You are his daughter. You knew Beco, the man with the same eyes as yours)
Y/n's gaze drifted out to the bustling Miami cityscape, a blur compared to the vivid image forming in her mind's eye – a playful smile on her father's face as he taught her how to say pão de queijo. It was a fleeting memory, but a precious one nonetheless.
The stories, though fragmented, were pieces of a larger puzzle, a picture of her father that was starting to take shape, not just as a legendary driver, but as a man capable of love, laughter, and quiet moments of joy.
As they finished their lunch, Viviane placed a comforting hand on Y/n's cheek. "Go now, my darling," she said, her voice soft yet strong. "Celebrate your father, honor his memory. But don't forget to celebrate the love you shared, the love that lives on within you."
Y/n nodded, tears welling up in her eyes, this time tears of gratitude for the woman who had been a constant source of love and support throughout her life. Leaning in, they embraced tightly. "Obrigada, tia. Por tudo" (Thank you, antie. For everything) she whispered, the words thick with emotion.
As she left the hotel room later, for another round of interviews before the official dinner, Y/n went to the window, gazing out at the ocean once again, taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Obrigada, pai. Por tudo.” (Thank you, dad. For everything). It was a simple phrase, but for her, it held the weight of a lifetime of love and an unspoken promise to keep his legacy alive.
"And these aren’t tears because you’re gone, But for all the years that we lost, All those times I missed that love, Had it just for a moment"
As the night dawned in Miami, the heat dissipated but the humidity continued to clung to the city like a second skin. Y/n bustled around the room, a flurry of nervousness. The dinner to celebrate Ayrton Senna’s legacy started in a couple of hours and although the event had been meticulously planned for weeks, and by at least 30 people, the weight of the world felt concentrated on Y/n shoulder’s, the formal host to the dinner.
Lewis emerged from the shower, a towel wrapped around his lower waist, beads of water clinging to his dark braids. He stopped short at the sight of Y/n, a smile spreading across his face as he took sight of her sat perched on the edge of the bed, a faded white t-shirt of his hanging loosely on her frame, a white towel turbaned around her wet hair.
"Planning on hitting the town like that?" he teased, a playful glint in his eyes. "Although" he added, his voice dropping a touch lower, "I do love the look."
Y/n laughed, a sound that banished the last vestiges of worry from Lewis's heart. "Not quite," she said, her smile widening. "I’m trying to figure out what to post"
He noticed her phone held open on the bed, displaying two video options. As he walked closer, his bare chest brushing against hers for a fleeting moment – a small reminder of the intimacy they shared – Y/n looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with a light he hadn't yet seen earlier in the day.
"Help me choose" she said, her voice filled with a newfound energy.
He picked her up and sat her on his laps, occupying her place by the edge of the bed, the scent of his shower gel a subtle but pleasant counterpoint to the sweet aroma of the lotion she had applied. He leaned over to see the two videos.
The first one, showed a baby Y/n, barely a year old, toddling through a sun-dappled garden, her chubby arms flailing as she chased a flurry of brightly colored butterflies. In the background, Ayrton with a gentle smile on his face, playfully swatting the butterflies away from his daughter.
The second video, showed a slightly older Y/n, around two years-old, in a swimming pool. Ayrton, submerged in the water next to her, was demonstrating how to blow bubbles. Y/n, a mischievous glint in her eyes, mimicked his actions, creating a flurry of glistening bubbles that danced around her face.
"The bubble one. Something about that mischievous gleam in your eyes always has me hooked” Lewis said, amusement dancing in his voice
Y/n laughed, a sound so genuine and unburdened that it made Lewis's heart skip a beat. "I was always a rowdy thing" she admitted, a playful glint in her own eyes.
"A charming one, at that" Lewis confirmed, reaching out to kiss her shoulder. Picking the video, Lewis handed the phone back to her. "Let the world see that side to you" Y/n grinned, tapping on the screen to schedule the post.
She got up and disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed, and a few minutes later Lewis walked into Y/n intently listening to her phone on speaker, as she fiddled with a stray curl as she spoke.
"Adriane" she soothed; her voice laced with a warmth that cut through the phone's static. "Você está indo como minha convidada, lembra?” (You're coming as my guest, remember?)
A nervous laugh tinkled on the other end. “Eles sabem disso?” (Do they know that?). Andriane, Ayrton's last girlfriend and a prominent Brazilian television personality.
Y/n bit her lip, a pang of sympathy shooting through her. "Eu sei.” (I do know) she sighed. "Eu sei que eles nunca realmente te aceitaram, mas você era diferente. Você foi a única que ele me apresentou” (I know they never really accepted you, but you were different. You were the only one he introduced to me."
A brief silence followed, then Adriane spoke, her voice softer now. "Ele queria uma família, Y/n. Uma família para você. Ele sempre falava isso, seu futuro, com ele” (He wanted a family, Y/n. A family for you. He talked about it all the time, your future, with him)
Y/n's heart clenched. Memories flickered – fleeting glimpses of her father smiling at her from across a dinner table, his eyes holding a tenderness she hadn't quite understood at the time. Perhaps, she thought, there had been more to those moments than she'd realized.
"Obrigada Adriane, por tudo. Por ter sido parte da vida dele, e por ser parte da minha, do seu jeito.” (Thank you Adriane, for everything. For being a part of his life, and for being a part of mine, in your own way) she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
Adriane sniffled softly and then laughed “Você é tão charmosa quanto ele, Senninha” (You are as much of a charmer as he was, Senninha) a sound that banished the last traces of tension. "Vai dar tudo certo.” (Everything will be alright)
With a final exchange of goodbyes, Y/n hung up. Glancing over at Lewis, who was attempting to catch the few Portuguese words he could understand. She took a deep breath. "My family’s not gonna make this any easier" she sighed, her voice hesitant.
Lewis turned and reached for her, pulling her by the waist with a questioning look etched on his face. Y/n, feeling a flicker of anxiety, explained the conversation, but mostly of the unwavering loyalty she felt towards the woman who held such a significant piece of her father's story.
As she finished, Lewis placed a gentle hand on her cheek. "You miss him, don't you?" he asked softly, his eyes filled with understanding as you gave him a sad smile and nod.
"It doesn't matter how long it's been" Lewis continued, his voice firm yet gentle. "Grief doesn't have a deadline."
Y/n remained silent, the weight of his words settling in. He knew the anniversary was a constant reminder, a punch to the gut every year. He could only imagine the whirlwind of emotions it brought – the bittersweet memories mixed with the crushing weight of what could have been.
"It feels unfair, sometimes…" she started, her voice catching signaling she wouldn’t complete her thoughts. Lewis tightened his hold on her, pulling her closer. "It is unfair," he agreed, his voice a low rumble against her ear.
Y/n leaned into his touch, seeking solace in his words and the steady beat of his heart. The dam finally broke, and a light sob went thought her body. Tears streamed down her face, hot and silent. Lewis held her close, whispering reassurances against her hair, letting her feel without judgment.
"Every year," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion, "it's like a punch to the gut. A reminder of all the birthdays, holidays, just…everyday moments I missed with him." Her voice cracked. "Everyone has stories, memories. They remember his laugh, his jokes, his warmth. All I have are these…flashes of moments, barely enough to string together a semblance of who he was."
Lewis didn't try to fix it, to offer empty platitudes. He simply held her gaze as she spoke, a silent promise etched in his eyes. He wouldn't try to replace the memories she never had, but he would be a part of her future, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold.
“It's okay to mourn the future that was stolen from you” he whispered, his voice gentle, as Y/n leaned into his touch, a flicker of something akin to peace flickering in her eyes. "Do you think he would have liked me?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
The question hung heavy in the air. It was a question she'd probably grappled with for years, a silent fear gnawing at the edges of her grief. Lewis knew he couldn't give her a definitive answer, but he could offer her the solace of a possibility.
"There's no doubt he would have loved you fiercely." he said, his voice firm with conviction. “And he would have been so proud of the woman you've become."
Silence settled between them once more, but this time it was a comfortable silence, filled with a newfound understanding. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "For being here, for listening, for understanding."
Y/n turned, her eyes meeting his in the mirror, a fresh wave of tear forming in her eyelids. A faint smile tugged at the corner of her lips.
"These aren't sad tears" she explained, wiping away at her eyes "They're just…wish you were here' kind of tears… For this" Y/n gestured at the phone on the counter. "For the celebration, for being surrounded by people who loved him. I just wish he could be here too."
Her voice softened, an acceptance in her eyes. The pain and loss would always be there, a part of her story. But there was also space for joy, for celebrating his life, and for building a future for herself.
As he pulled her into a warm embrace, Lewis whispered into her ear, "He is here, Y/n. In you, in your strength, in the mischief you still carry in your eyes. Every step you take forward is partly because of his love for you."
They stood there for a moment longer, a silent conversation passing between them. Y/n pulled away, wiping the last vestiges of moisture from her cheeks.
"Alright then" she said, a playful glint back in her eyes. "Let's go celebrate Dad. And show Miami a little Brazilian hospitality."
Lewis grinned. "Lead the way" his arms wrapping her and turning her around so he could kiss her.
The 30th anniversary of his death, although grim and a meticulously planned affair, held a significance that went beyond events, interview and RSVPs. It was a celebration of a life well-lived, a father cherished, and a daughter determined to carry his legacy forward, one mischievous bubble at a time.
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TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28
@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld
@fearfam69691 @cmleitora
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p1utofairy · 8 months
Text
PAC: “i get so weak in the knees, i can hardly speak. i lose all control and something takes over me…” 💌⏳🦢🍸
• how does your crush currently feel about you?
disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. here's something to kick off fall 🍂 take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. enjoy!
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pile 1 📩 —
heyyy pile 1! let's jump right into your reading 🤗 i'm already hearing that you think about your crush A LOT like you can't get them off your mind even if you tried and they feel the exact same way. you two mirror each other so if you feel intensely about them, they're also feeling intensely about you even if they don't convey that outwardly (i.e. their facial expressions/body language) i feel like they’re not used to having a huge crush on someone, it usually just kinda…happens for them??? like they don't usually have to put a lot of work in to make someone fall for them (bc i'm visually seeing that they're pretty damn attractive) but that's not gonna cut it with you — they just can't get by on their looks. you're big on taking your time to get to know someone and building up that level of trust and respect. you carry yourself very well pile 1 and that's really what made them do a double take when they first saw you. you're 1 of 1 — they've never seen anyone like you before. i'm hearing that some of you may look exotic or people tell you that you resemble a specific celebrity a lot? idk but just know you get the blood rushing through their veins lol they can't help but feel excited when they're around you, yet they barely know you which is the crazy part. they feel like they know you but they don't…and that's what so intriguing to them. stranger by jhené aiko is coming to mind, “i know ya face, i know ya name but i don't know you? isn't that crazy? isn't that crazy?” you may judge them at first and already think the worst like “oh i bet they’re a player!” but don’t jump to conclusions! give it a chance. they may actually surprise you and treat you like royalty, cause i feel a lot of adoration coming from their end…even though they know little to nothing about you. i want you around by snoh aalegra is playing in my head, “it's somethin' 'bout the way you stare into my eyes. i know that i don't make things clear. i fall for you every time i try to resist you.” they’re gonna fall hard for you pile 1. they’re definitely going to want to get serious and make this official which will shock you both, because of how fast things will just come together naturally. AHHH I LOVE IT.
other channeled messages:
whoa by snoh aalegra, kiss me thru the phone by soulja boy ft. sammie, tattoos, glasses, scorpio placements/scorpio moon, wifey, bright smile, almond shaped eyes, petite figure, girl of my dreams, kissin’ on my tattoos by august alsina, u are my high by dj snake & future, prominent air sign placements
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pile 2 ⚖️ —
hiiiii pile 2 💓 right away i’m hearing that your crush feels like you’re unattainable? you might be really popular or a naturally social person that everyone clings to, and they find this a bit intimidating. they don’t know how to approach you – they've been trying to figure out how to get your attention but little do they know that they already have it. y'all might have a dynamic like summer and seth from ‘the O.C.’ and/or stiles and lydia from ‘teen wolf’ aw when they find out you like them back it'll most likely catch them off guard like “who?! ME?!” lol they’re so cute. you’re very dreamy to them, they'll damn near start drooling when you’re in close proximity to them…i’m also hearing that they love the way you dress. you show just enough to let their imagination wander lol idk if they wanted me to say that cause i can see their cheeks getting red and them getting all flustered 🤣 let me just say that they respect you so much! they’ll feel so lucky to finally get to know you on a personal level because they’ve been inquiring about you for awhile now. you’ll be everything that they dreamed of plus more & vice versa. there’s definitely a best friend dynamic at the root of this connection, you both will be able to be yourselves unapologetically when you're together. i feel sooo much warmth and comfort. idk why belly and jeremiah from ‘the summer i turned pretty’ just popped up in my head lol but yeah they will love holding you gently and staring into your eyes longingly 😩 SO ADORBS.
other channeled messages:
the cool girl & the gamer boy, no idea by don toliver, just talk to her dude, victor from corpse bride, timothée chalamet, bilingual, hit different by sza ft. ty dolla $ign, my forever boy, good days by sza, skateboarding
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pile 3 ⚓️ —
pile 333 💫 what's up!!! i channeled a song for y'all already, come over by aaliyah is coming in strongly. “i know you're asleep but you're on my mind and i'm wide awake and i wanna stop by.” ooo there’s a very sensual vibe between you and your crush, a lot of sexual attraction and tension i'm picking up. you two would make a great looking couple — a lot of people will be looking at you two when you're interacting with each other. it's like “can those two get a room already and just fuck” LMAOOO some will be hating but others will just be admiring like damn i wish i had that. i feel like your crush makes you act really shy lol you try to muster up the courage to look them in the eye and be bold but you fold every time lol i’m hearing them say “don’t be shy baby” 😩 your crush knows what they're doingggggg omg they just love to tease you. a couple that's coming to mind is joey and pacey from ‘dawson's creek’ you may not have paid them much mind initially but one day something clicked and you were like damn…i really like them. it might take a little minute for y'all to officially get together but once you two do…WHEW. i told y'all the sexual tension is through the roof — i’m hearing this is that 90’s r&b type of love. a lot of slow burn and building up to the real thing. they think so much about what it'll be like to finally be able to hold you, kiss you and treat you properly. you evoke a lot of inspiration, motivation and passion in them pile 3 <3
other channeled messages:
halfcrazy by musiq soulchild, take a picture it'll last longer, lavender haze by taylor swift, muse by partynexydoor, capricorn placements/capricorn venus, you're like my own personal brand of heroin - edward cullen (lol)
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