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mistydeyes · 11 months

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Hi! I don't think your rules link on your master list is working? (It might just be the Tumblr app being silly) but I've like to request a COD fic with a reader who has a moderate to severe penicillin allergy is accidentally given it while out in the field. Cut to the 141 ripping the medic who didn't check the medical tag a new one and being all protective and shit.

omg nooo thank you for bringing this to my attention, I'll get it fixed bc I love it when y'all request things! I absolutely love this idea too!

Just a little PSA but penicillin allergies are SERIOUS. If you have one, you are automatically not allowed to get anything related to penicillin (including amoxicillin, ampicillin, etc). You also are limited in your drug selection as people with severe allergies can't get any similar antibiotic drugs such as cephalosporins. You may experience hives, rashes, and even anaphylaxis if administered. So it’s always important to have a note in your medical file and notify any medical professionals about the nature of your allergy.

Okay, my little pharmacy soapbox is over, let’s move on to the blurb.

warnings: depiction of wounds and violence, swearing

pairings: 141 x g/n!reader

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

You were the newest member to join the 141. Excelling through your training, you were eventually handpicked by Captain Price to join his team. You were known for your sniper skills, rivaling that of Ghost. You were even more known for your call sign. In your years of being in the army and part of SAS, you became affectionately known as 'Plaster'. Your buddy came up with it as you had been the only one in the squadron to never need to go to the infirmary (avoiding cuts and bandages aka plasters) and also were notorious for outdrinking any recruit that tried to challenge you.

That's why when you ended up in the medical tent with an infected cut, the 141 boys were surprised. Before your intake, you had been providing overwatch on a building as Gaz, Price, and Soap infiltrated. Ghost was in the building across from you, also providing support. As you checked your sights, you immediately heard Ghost over the coms yell, "Behind you!" It was too late as the enemy had taken the opportunity to pull you by the legs and begun to swing his knife. You tried to react quickly but ended up with a slice to your arm before Ghost could take the man out. You knew once you recovered Price would be teaching you a thing or two about hand-to-hand combat.

However, he would have to wait as you had woken up that morning with a high fever. The cut was shallow, only requiring some soap and water and a simple bandage. Somehow, it had become infected. You groggily went to the field hospital. Once there, they removed the bandage and saw the area was red, extending past the initial wound. The field medic brushed it off, saying they would prescribe you some oral antibiotics for a little more than a week. As he cleaned and redressed the wound, he handed you a small pill bottle with ‘Augmentin’ written on it. Before you left, you popped the small, oval pill into your mouth and were sent on your way.

As soon as you exited the tent, you made your way back to your own to get some rest. Your tongue felt puffy in your mouth as you navigated through the maze of tents. Maybe you had bit it in your sleep?

You walked in and sat on your cot, noting Soap sitting across from you in his. You then felt slightly out of breath but assumed it was due to the humidity and sand debris in the air. You lay down, listening to Soap recount the successful mission before you began to hyperventilate. You felt like you were drowning as you tried your best to breathe.

"Oi, are you okay, Plaster?" was all you heard before the world went dark.

When you woke up, you were surrounded by your concerned squadron. You looked around and realized you were in the medical tent. As you tried to sit up, Price put a hand on your shoulder and lightly pushed you back down.

"God, Plaster you gave us a heart attack. You went into anaphylaxis," he began and you were shocked. It wasn't like you were allergic to peanuts or anything but then you realized you were allergic to ampicillin. Something you had learned after a childhood run-in with meningitis.

Price confirmed your suspicions as he added, "that fucking muppet of a medic gave you amoxicillin/clavulanate. Apparently he hadn't realized you were severely allergic to all penicillins," he said through gritted teeth.

You realized that must have been what that white pill was and mentally slapped yourself for the mistake.

"I'm sorry, guys," you began to say as you looked around at their faces. They looked so worried for you and you felt stupid for the simple mistake.

"Ah, it wasn't your fault, Love" Gaz spoke up. "Plus, the 141 got to show the medic what happens when you almost kill our best sniper."

You laughed as Soap described how once the field medic rushed in with an Epi-Pen and they carted you off to the tent, the boys confronted the medic. Apparently in his haste, he had overlooked the very important note that you were not to be given anything related to penicillin, including the prescribed Augmentin.

"You should've seen his face when Price lifted that poor fucker," Soap laughed loudly. "Better yet, I'm sure he pissed his pants when Ghost walked over and held him by his collar. Ghost is one scary motherfucker." To this comment, Soap received a slight slap on the back of his head.

You were appreciative of their efforts but couldn't imagine the lashing they would be getting from their superiors.

The ever-quiet Ghost ended the story by saying, "It was just a little taste for all of what you went through. I'm glad you're doing alright despite that idiot."

You cracked a smile as you lay in bed, appreciating your teammates who defended you like brothers.

As they left you to rest, you could hear Gaz whisper, "You don't think the laxatives in his tea were a little much?" You realized that this medic's life would be made a living hell for the remainder of your tour.

Years later it became a running joke. As you sat in the bar recounting stories of your service, Soap loudly joked, "And to think, Plaster almost got taken out by a little cut and some medicine." That earned him a hard slap to the back of the head.

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a/n Did anyone else watch NCIS? every time someone mentions getting a slap to the head, I think of Gibbs.

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thisismeracing · 5 months

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To build a home | MS47 (patreon exclusive)

Read the full piece here

― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x hamilton!reader ― Warning: mentions of Christmas celebrations. (1.5k words) ― Summary: Mick and Yn are used to sharing everything, and always spending time with each other. However, they didn’t notice that things got easier because they ended up pilling some things in one house. His place is theirs now, but the same happened with her place. It only takes their respective siblings one look to figure out the whole situation. Will it scare them, or will they finally move in together? ― A/n: This piece can be read as a stand-alone, or part of the King of My Heart series (here). It was also based on this ask sent by my Coffee emoji anon on Tumblr, who gave me permission to work on the thot and bring it into a full piece <3 Thank you for the support and for proofreading it too, C! *mwah* I hope you guys like it!

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

“Did you see my white sneakers when you walked through the entrance?” Mick asked, raking his fingers through his blonde hair, already feeling the stress taking over. He wasn’t the biggest fan of packing, even though it was something he had to do numerous times in his line of work. He tended to have everything sorted, and whenever it was time he would just throw everything inside the luggage and get going.

“Nein, isn’t it somewhere in your closet?” his sister asked, watching the blonde walk inside the closet again.

“It’s not,” his voice carried from the room while he walked back to his sister, a stressful curve between his eyebrows.

“When was the last time you wore it?”

Mick sighs, throwing his body beside Gina’s on his mattress, the bed dipping with his weight.

“I wore them last Saturday…then on Monday on the trip back home”

“Didn’t you forget between Yn’s things? You came home together, right?”

Mick bites his lips when a wave of realization hits him, shaking his head, “I…mhm…I left them at her place.”

“You didn’t forget?”

“Nah, I left them there.”

**********

“Ugh, I’m pretty sure I left it on the sink,” Yn sighs, going through bottles of hair products while Lewis watches from the door. He was helping her pack for Christmas at the Schumachers, everyone was going, including their parents, and Roscoe who was already there with the oldest Hamiltons and Corinna. Lewis had some things to finish with Merc and Yn had work to do, so they agreed on flying together, which he knew meant also packing together since Yn would get easily distracted and forget to do so.

“It’s no biggie, I have mine at home, I just wanted to get this one braid sorted because it’s too loose,” Lewis tries.

“Nah, but I always have my curls and braids stuff there, Lew…Last week I even rebraided these two pieces and…—oh–”

“What?”

“I left the lil hair bag at Mick’s house.”

“What do you mean you left it there? Like, you accidentally forgot there?”

Yn bites her lips, “I’m there most of the time, so I just left it there, you know?”

Lewis watches attentively as his sister walks back to the closet staring at her clothes as if they were going to pack on their own.

“Did you pack your satin pillowcase?”

“Yeah, Mick is taking it, I have some at his apartment. I’m putting the ones that are here through the wash,” she explains simply, starting to fold a coat.

“You have one at his place?”

“Yeah, he bought some when we started dating, it’s easier when we don’t have to keep moving those everyday things, you know?”

The oldest Hamilton was at a loss for words for a few seconds. It was so obvious, yet his sister seemed unaware. In her defense, however, the couple were now over a year into their relationship, and to deal with the distance they had to make do with each small gap of time together, it seemed to be more work for Mick and Yn to keep packing an overnight bag or something of the sorts whenever they wanted to be together. It was just easier to have their things shared between houses.

“So you’ve kind of moved in together?” he wants to be less direct with his questions, but this is all Lewis can muster, and it makes Yn stop in her tracks, brows drawing together in confusion.

“No?”

Lewis chuckles, it’s not a funny situation per se, he’s more nervous with his own realization that his sister is old enough not only to date, but now she’s old enough to share an apartment with a guy, which means soon enough she’ll probably get married, and have kids, and…his baby sister!

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, honeybees! I hope you guys liked this piece. Please, if you do, make sure to REBLOG and leave me an ask/comment because Tumblr put me in some sort of shadow ban so my posts are taking forever to show up (sometimes not showing up at all to some people). Help your writer out and get a virtual hug *mwah* hihiih <3 thank youuuuuu!!!!

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taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @v1naco @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @goldenalbon @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @skepvids @bbreezybitch @graciewrote @ferrariloverr @heelariously @thatgibbsygirl @minkyungseokie @scopeiguess @princewis @leclercsluv @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr

©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.

#mick schumacher #op: patreon pieces #op: patreon exclusive #f1 x reader #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher x hamilton!reader #komh #mick schumacher x black!reader #f1 x black!reader #ms47 #f1 fandom #f1 fluff #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher fanfic #millie writes

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stonedstargazer666 · 9 hours

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Stoned Head cannon

So this is gonna be based kinda off of a couple of pictures I saved from twitter and here on good ole Tumblr, earlier this month. well my collection keeps getting larger...Anywho.. Yes, I am baked outta my gourd, this is just gonna be raw writing and I have sat long and hard about this. I'm sorry if I don't tag anything correctly. i'm zooted. Fem terms used. NSFW under photos. (DNI: If the thought of getting your BC messed with if your taking it orally messes with you. )

Ok so you're dating Vessel, right? You get along with the others really well. you bring out a side of them that Vessel rarely sees. Which is fine dandy and wonderful. If it weren't for the fact that the boys are seemingly testing the boundaries with you. Light touches that could easily be brushed off as accidental, brushing the hair out of your face with lingering touches.

Well Vessel sees you just brushing it off, you're confident enough to tell them to back off sure. Brushing their hand away, giving them a glare, or flipping them off with a laugh. You're absolutely loyal to Vessel, perfectly devoted the both of you would say. But gosh, if Vessel didn't want to absolutely claim you. Sure, you two have your fun regularly, but you were on the pill. He didn't know how to bring that up to you, on one hand he loved that you were stern about your health and just wasn't ready for kids.

BUT on the other hand, when you take your placebo week, you get emotional over videos of babies laughing and giggling till they can't breath. Vessel see's how you coo at your phone while laying in bed, earbud in or over ear headphones depending on the vibe you had. listening to the sweet shrieks of laughter, he listens to you talk to yourself how your friend's baby is so cute, when they post pictures. It was a monthly habit that drove him up the wall. Until he read about activated charcoal, and the dangers of it messing with oral birth control... Oh.. well this could be useful information. He better read up on that... ya know just in case....

(NSFW content ahead, continue if you dare)

Now that he has learned about the activated charcoal, he thought that would be perfect. He had been meaning to try out a different way of painting his body. You liked it when he wore the paint in the bedroom, who was he to deny his sweet little dove? On stage it was the normal body paint, but lately in the bedroom...the texture of the paint felt different on your tongue....or...or did it always feel that grainy? You vocalize your concern in a needy whimpering voice, feeling your own hot breath bounce off of his neck. Tongue halfway pressed against the pulse point of his throat.

Vessel rumbles a deep throaty laugh, assuring you that yes it has. for the last month It had. Vessel would hide and put the water activated charcoal on his throat, fingers, hands, chest. ALL of your favorite places to lick, suck on, worship. Mentally Vessel reveled in the fact that he was messing with your birth control. You would be a wonderful mum, and the boys...oh the boys would know who you belonged to. two birds one stone really. But you didn't know this, you didn't need to know that little fact. HE prayed and thanked God that nothing had changed over the past month, nothing that would arise suspicion of what he was doing... The sound of you greedily choking and trying to swallow around his fingers brings him out of his thoughts. He takes a moment to take in the pretty sight. you on the bed, ass up, face down cause you're a good girl yeah? Yeah ,you are, tilting your head to the side. your tongue lavishing his long fingers.

He coos at how pretty you are. A pure work of art, taking his fingers into your mouth so willingly, while also taking him so perfectly into your drooling sex. Vessels eyes zero in on your convulsing throat, moaning audibly feeling you successfully swallow around his fingers without choking or gagging. Oh such a good girl you are, He praises. As you swallow the charcoal, bringing you one step closer to being claimed and owned by him inside and out. With that thought in mind. Vessel pulls his fingers out of your throat. Reaching around to wipe them right over your womb, the striking black pops against your pink warm skin. Almost like a promise, Vessel flips you over onto your back. slowly...so deliciously slowly does he show you what his new healed piercing is capable of. Oh now you really feel it, and you clench hard. Vessel watches the moment you succumb to his slow deep ministrations. He takes a quick moment to make a mental note to thank IVy for the suggestion. Who knew that a Jacobs ladder would be just utter heaven. Vessels thrusts start getting sloppy, and rougher. his hands gripping the fat of hips with a bruising force. His hips stutter as you beg so prettily through tears and desperate moans for him to come inside.

Oh how you sang little dove, your voice cracking as you scream his name. BEgging him to come, your voice is delirious. It's pure unadulterated music to his ears, He slams into you one more time, rutting into your poor bullied cunny, grinding against your swollen nub just right. Your climax hits, your back arching off the bed as you hopelessly grind and roll your hips. Vessel soaks in the sight of the pure pleasure on your face, as he grinds deeper. Seeing a faint bump in your pretty tummy, just underneath the black streaks he left there earlier...

He cums hard, and so much. Poor man, must have been so pent up... but Gods does feel so fucking good to feel his release overflowing, and dripping. But you still whimpered softly about feeling so full Vessel stared at the marking he left, it looked ever so slightly rounder. He wonders if he could maybe talk you into getting it tattooed. Just for him. He slowly pulls out, whispering praises, telling you what a perfect girl you are, gently rubbing your sides. Waiting for you to come down from wherever you floated off too during your climax. Once your breathing evened out to his liking, he got up. Disappearing, just to come back with a soft warm wet wash cloth. Gently cleaning you up, taking a quick picture of the marks. For later reference of course. Then wiping them away, reverently. After cleaning you both, he throws on black sweat pants. Then lovingly wraps you in your favorite soft blanket. The soft sigh you let out lets him know your relaxing, and are comfortable. He picks you up, cradling you close to his warm chest. Walking out to the common area to sit with you in his lap. Showing the other three, that he was the only one that held your heart.

And wouldn't you know it? three weeks later, you tell Vessel that you've been feeling quite strange... Like a weird stomach bug, cause you've been so nauseous lately.... But don't worry, Vessel assures you, you'll start feeling better soon. Just let him take care of you...

#THis took me 5 hours I think???#I took one too many edible gummies so... yeah #not sure what to tag. so some help would be nice yall #sleep token #sleep token worship #sleep token band #sleep token vessel #vessel #vessel sleep token #sleep token iv #sleep token smut #sleep token fanfiction #sleep token headcanons #I am so stoned yall #Stoned Rae likes #we'll see what Sober Rae says..#oneshot #I'm sorry if my writing is all over the place..

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mr2swap · 1 year

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After Christmas: 1

“Damn it, I can't take this one more day!” My father promised me that this would end today, that we would return to our original bodies, and we would never talk about everything that happened this winter vacation.

He has been putting off reversing the spell he “accidentally” cast on us so I can enjoy my youth for a couple of days. When mom left us my father looked so pathetic and sad, I thought that if I let him use my body for a day or two after Christmas it would be the most generous of me and the truth is I can fully understand why he did it ... his life is shit!

He was never able to finish high school for being an idiot, so all he could get was a 10-hour job as a low paid builder. Every day I wake up at morning, so I can start the day with 3 cups of coffee without sugar because “my” doctor told me that I had to watch my diet, some tasteless eggs and a couple of painkillers to be able to bear leaving the home without having to complain all day that I spend working under the sun.

At first, it was not so bad it was great to wake up in my father's room in his taller, stronger and older body, everything looked smaller especially my father who was now in my slim body of a 14-year-old boy, maybe it was the adrenaline rush and excitement that made me completely ignore the pain in my back and not have had a drop of coffee all day.

After confronting him and admitting that he was the cause that one day to the next he will wake up like a 48-year-old man we reached an agreement, we would return to our bodies once Christmas passed, I must admit that going out to do the shopping For Christmas dinner with my dad it was a lot of fun, we talked all day about everything I would have to do in his body, he even taught me how to drive, and he let me drink my first beer when we got home, I felt funny after empty a couple of cans, and it all seemed incredibly light especially with how big my arms are now.

But all the fun ended the next day, on Christmas Day as soon as I woke up again in this body you can understand why my father told me not to get too excited about drinking beer, I even think I was still a little drunk after drinking so much last night My head hurt like hell and the rest of my body didn't feel better, and I think for the first time I could understand why my father used to take those pills every day with his coffee.

While I was trying to go down the stairs carefully to have a lot of coffee that I now needed my father was already at the foot of the tree unwrapping the gifts that he had personally wrapped a couple of days before, when I realized what it was not I could believe it—DID YOU BUY ME A PS5?! — I quickly helped him connect it while he was just as excited as I was to play however I could see that there was only one control and after a short fight I decided I was too tired and screwed up to spend it all The day I was arguing over who would take the first turn playing and my head was killing me, I decided that I would play the next day once I returned to my young 14-year-old body.

However, the days have passed, and my father still does not break the spell, making excuses after excuses, and he doesn't even make an effort to lie to me during breakfast today. He told me, “have you started with that again? It starts to be annoying to hear you say the same thing every morning, “IT'S A SON OF A BITCH! Right now he must be on my first day of class pretending to be me and talking to my friends while I'm covered in sweat and dust, killing me at his shitty job.

I am doubting if one day I will recover my body, I have to find the spell that my father used to steal my life and be 14 years old again! … well I will do it tomorrow today Robert, a friend of my father from work invited me to drink a couple of beers on the way out of work, he said we had a lot of fun and was really pushy. I suppose there are good things about being an adult.

Hello! Happy New Year, this is the first story here on Tumblr, the second part and a short epilogue are on my patreon.

You can also join my discord server if you want to know the latest news of my stories or chat with me, Tumblr has me blocked or something and I can't receive messages, so discord is the only way to talk to me lol

#bodyswap #body switch #body swap #male body swap

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daykinking · 1 month

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Intro Post

🕐if im posting before noon PST its a queue

if you get off to my pics/videos consider thanking me through cashapp $squigglefish 💕

❌no anorexia anything❌

x I don't rp, sorry :C but feel free to use my posts as rp inspo

Hi, welcome to my super secret fet blog. Below the cut I will describe what this is for and who I am.

✅ AI scraping is turned OFF for this blog! Your art is safe.

‼health and safety disclaimer: this is a blog rooted in sexual fantasy. claimed levels of alcohol consumption by OP may at times be greatly exaggerated or otherwise unsafe to imitate. original characters posted on this blog are fictional and can consume lethal amounts of alcohol because they're not real. please do your own research on the real-world dangers of alcohol poisoning and drink responsibly.

Who am I?

You can call me Vee. I'm around 30, transmasc and I use he/it pronouns. I live in the USA on the west coast. I have a main tumblr but I don't feel comfortable attaching this kink to my identity. So it's our little secret.

What's my fetish?

Well, I've known for easily over a decade that I have an intoxication fetish. >////> Specifically, regarding alcohol. Other forms of intoxication don't compare.

What will I be posting?

Hopefully art, at some point. I have several OC's and a fantastical setting that I've been daydreaming about for a while, and I'd like to introduce them to other like-minded people. Other than that, I may post about getting stoned. While weed intoxication doesn't turn me on, I really enjoy it, lol.

More Fetish Details

It's taken me until literally this year to explore the intox fetish tag because literally I'm so humiliated I have this fetish that I can't even let the dust motes in the room see what I'm looking up. Furthermore, I've followed and unfollowed the tag on my main blog because a lot of it misses the mark for me. For example, forced intox makes me a little uncomfortable, and while I'm not opposed to CNC it's really hit or miss for me.

While I enjoy being drunk myself, I'm more turned on by watching/imagining others being drunk. Currently I'm trying to be (California) sober as well, so you likely won't get a lot of posts of me being drunk, but we'll see. I do love an IPA.

Some specific things that turn me on in regards to alcohol fetishism are:

gluttony (for alcohol mainly, but also weed, food, sex)

drinking from the bottle

finishing other peoples' leftover drinks

hiccupping

blushing/red/sweaty face

unfocused/half-closed eyes

swaying, stumbling, falling over, especially while sitting or standing in place

showing tits/sucking dick/etc. in exchange for alcohol

being/getting drunk in an inappropriate place (in church, on break at work, etc.)

accidental drunkenness

daydrinking, the earlier in the day the hotter

waking up extremely drunk

pissing self from being so drunk

pissing while actively taking a drink

losing ability to walk

losing ability to speak

falling over while actively taking a drink

alcohol causing breast expansion (also belly and butt, but primarily breasts)

anime intoxication indicators (slanting blush strokes, wobbly mouth, tears on corners of eyes, bubbles and swirls popping around their head)

CNC on a technicality because having sex with someone that's fucked up is automatically NC

feeding/gaining as long as copious amounts of alcohol are also involved

Squicks

These are things that put me off for whatever reason. While I don't judge people who are into these things, if you post about them, I'm likely not to follow back.

scat

diaper play

MAP/NOMAP (i do judge this one)

gore

cops

real/realistic incest play (fauxcest doesn't trigger the same response)

nonconsent

certain drug use (meth/heroin, permutations thereof, any sort of pill abuse)

forced intoxication (case by case)

While this blog is about my alcohol/ism fetish, there are a few things I'd be willing to engage with on here through asks and post interactions. I smoke weed every day and I'm up to sharing photos and videos related to that, however faceless. Sometimes I do whippits as well and I can post about that here if it turns people on. While I don't have a foot fetish myself, I have very cute feet, to whom it may concern.

Most other drugs I don't do. While I have done coke, acid, and mushrooms (not all at the same time), I don't prefer them. I do like molly (duh who doesn't) but don't have a reliable dealer atm, also it tanks my mental health. I have never done any drugs other than the ones I've mentioned and don't have any desire to partake in them.

If you suspect that you know me, no you don't! I can't impress enough that I really do not want my blogs to be associated with each other. There is a chance that over time some people could recognize me from years past, when I did publicly incorporate this kink into fan art and fanfiction. To those people...hey :) please don't out me.

Um that's all I have to say I guess! Until I decide to update this post.

#pinned #about me #intox kink #alcohol intox #dumbification #txt

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lec743 · 1 year

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Cherub AU (FNAF Fanfic)

(waves) Hey, y’all! Who’s ready to break some hearts?! Also remember to check out @starrspice tumblr page to see not just their Cherub AU but for all of their wonderful AU’s that they come up with.

*******************************************************************************************

After your first job with your cherub tutors, you had a few days off to have for yourself and for your human job. During your week off, you kept accidentally replaying that stupid scene in your head. You and Sun getting angry with each other. You, forcing a kiss on him. The feeling of how soft and warm his lips were. Then when that thought pops into your head; you’d cover your face with your pillow if you were in bed, or you’d intensely focus on the job in front of you scaring your boss if you were at work.

You don’t know if you were ready to face Sun again. You were going to have to bite that bullet eventually, and hell, if you’re lucky he’ll act like nothing happened. Then you’ll be able to act like nothing happened too. You don’t believe that you’re that lucky, though.

You were standing on your roof top waiting for your tutors to show up. To try and calm your nerves, you started going through your satchel to make sure you’ve got everything. You took your pills. You have snacks and juice for when you get tired. You have your emergency contact information for if you faint. You have the rose that Eclipse gave you and you have your apartment keys. You double and triple checked what you had on hand before you heard your name being called out. You looked up to see Moon.

“Where’s Sun,” you asked without thinking when you saw his absence.

“He has a job at the opposite side of the city. You and I will be working on this heartbreak case on our own.”

You tried not to let the relief show on your face. “So who are we breaking up?”

“I’ve already seen your assignment. It looked like it was going to be a tough one, so I think before we try to tackle that mistake together, I think you should sink your teeth into a much simpler assignment. You know, for practice.” Moon said. Then a scroll floated down from the heavens and fell into his open hand. He unrolled it and you walked around him to look at what it said.

The scroll was about two teenagers. They’re white boys, one with blond hair and the other with dyed black hair. The blond was called Will and the other was called Mark. The boys are apparently staying together despite being unhappy with each other, because they’re apparently the only gays in their school.

You tsk at this and said, “I feel bad for teenagers. Their world can be so small sometimes. When they do find someone like them, they want to keep them in their lives for as long as possible.”

Moon nodded. “Yes. They’re afraid of what comes after they break up.”

“So how do you usually break people up?”

Moon rolled up the scroll and said, “It depends. Sometimes, I just have to suggest to one party or the other that they need to talk. Other times I have to put strain on the relationship, like emphasizing someone’s feelings like they’re not supportive or they’re not present in the other’s life. Other times I have to help them see that they’re being cheated on or get a third party involved to show them that their love life isn’t as great as it should be.”

You stood there silently as you processed what he said. “Man,” you eventually said, “That sounds rough. Does it ever get… I don’t know… tiring?”

Moon gave you a humorless laugh. “Yes… it can be a lot, but just because there are bad break ups out there, doesn’t mean love isn’t real.” You doubted that, but Moon continued. “I mean, if love truly isn’t real, I don’t think my job would exist, ‘cause what’s the point of breaking something that isn’t there in the first place… you know?”

“I suppose,” you said hesitantly as you felt your heartache.

Putting away the scroll, Moon said, “Come on. Their high school is a few miles from here. They’ll be out of school soon.”

Moon’s wings spread out and he flapped them and started flying in the air. You soon followed suit. The air didn’t sting with cold today, and it felt nice to fly with the sun warming your back. You couldn’t help yourself as you started spinning and doing little loopty-loops. You had the biggest smile on your face.

“You really like flying, huh,” Moon said softly.

You stuttered in your flying before going back to the normal soaring that Moon was doing. “Oh! Yah… It’s nice.”

“I’m glad you like it so much,” Moon said, “I’ve been flying for so long that the novelty has worn off for me.”

You gave Moon a half smile. “One day I’m going to have to stop flying, so I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it.”

Moon nodded at you to acknowledge what you said. “You have a nice smile when you fly. It’s nice to see. I hope you enjoy it for as long as possible.”

You were glad that he turned to pay attention to where he was flying because suddenly your face felt very hot. You had to say an internal mantra of, it doesn’t mean anything, to try and calm yourself down. You managed to cool off by the time the two of you made it to the school. It was 2:45pm so you had a few minutes before school let out. You and Moon got comfortable sitting on the edge of the school’s roof, and you had a nice view of the school yard.

The two of you sat silently on the roof as time slipped by. You were thinking about what bills were coming up that you’d need to pay off soon when Moon spoke up.

“So… What is your opinion on love?”

You side eyed Moon. He was staring down at the school yard, but he was fiddling with the wrappings on his hands and arms. The wings on his back seemed agitated like how birds will get big when they’re threatened or scared. You looked down at the school yard, very aware of how important your answer may be to him about this.

“I don’t think you’ll like what I have to say, Moon.”

“Maybe not, but I’d like to understand you better despite that.”

You sighed. Why did that make your heart flutter? Stop you stupid heart! “Love is just a sham. All it does it bring people pain and hurt. It’s not worth the trouble.”

Moon hummed sadly. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt so badly that it made you think that.”

You said nothing. Opting to scowl at the school yard as you tried to get your heart under wraps as it traitorously pumped with validation, old pain, and a new warmth that you didn’t want to acknowledge.

The school bell rang and students were walking out. Soon the two of you saw Will and Mark walking hand in hand with each other as they were looking at their phones. You and Moon flew down and followed them as they walked home.

The blond boy, Will, was talking about a cartoon that seemed important to him while, the dyed black haired boy, Mark, looked like he was suffering through the topic.

“I don’t remember what the scroll said. Did it say that they attempted to have a conversation with each other, or something else?” you asked.

“They haven’t said anything to each other,” Moon confirmed.

“Let’s start out gently. This is going to hurt them a lot since this is their first relationship.”

You got out your Suggestion Pads, crumbled up a card, then threw it at Mark’s head. It uncrumpled and folded itself into a little paper heart and stuck itself to the back of his head. You then began to softly tell Mark that if he’s unhappy, then he’s allowed to tell Will that. It took a bit, but the paper heart disappeared from the back of his head as the two boys came across an empty playground.

Mark tugged on Will’s hand and said, “Hey. Let’s go over here for a bit. Okay?”

“Sure.”

You two followed the boys to a rickety old swing set. The two of them sat down on the swings and started lightly swinging on them.

“Will.”

“Yah?”

“Why did you ask me out?”

You turn to Moon and give him a look that you hoped indicated that you were proud that Mark was starting so strong. He was asking a very important question. Moon nods and motions for you to keep watching.

“Well, uhhh,” he blew a raspberry, “Uhhh. I think your cool!”

“What about me is cool to you?”

Once again Will started floundering. Then he said, “Well, why did you say yes?”

You squinted your eyes, very judgingly at Will for his deflection, but dropped the judgment as soon as you felt it. When haven’t you felt a little defensive and needed to deflect? Maybe it’ll help push the boys to break up.

“I’ve never been asked out before and I thought I’d end up liking you,” Mark confessed.

You saw Moon’s nose subtly wrinkle in a practiced handling of cringe. You had your hand over your mouth at that. Mark didn’t sound like he was taking a dig at Will, but it still looked like it hurt the blond boy to hear it.

“We’ve been dating for a year, and you can’t find anything about me that you like,” Will asked, his voice raised.

“You don’t seem to have anything that you like about me! You still haven’t said what you think is cool about me,” Mark said, his voice raised to match Will.

“Wh-you! You’re just cool!”

“But what specifically? We’ve been together for a year, as you’ve so kindly pointed out, and you can’t even come up with a single detail that is specific to me?”

The two boys looked away from each other. Mark was looking at the ground as he was still slightly swinging on the swing. Will stood up and walked a little bit away from the dyed black-haired boy. His back was turned to him as he had his arms crossed.

“Come on,” Moon said as he got out a suggestion paper, “Keep going. I know you can do it.” He threw the card like a throwing star and it folded itself into a star and stuck to the back of Will’s head. It didn’t take much convincing from Moon to get Will to keep talking.

“Why are you bringing this up now?” Will asked, still not turning to look at his boyfriend, “What have I been doing wrong?”

“Is the feeling really not mutual?” Mark asked instead of answering Will’s questions. “We keep trying to find something that we can both like together and yet we keep failing at it. We argue more than anything. Making out isn’t as fun with you as I thought it would be. Are you really wanting to stay as my boyfriend?”

Will took a moment to answer. “I don’t know,” he mumbled.

Silence took over once more. You got out a card and threw it at Mark. You suggested to Mark to talk about what’s making him unhappy and why he wants to break up.

“I… don’t like always watching tv or playing video games as a way to hang out with you. I don’t like feeling like I have to “preform” being gay with you around everyone. I don’t like how I feel being with you. I know relationships are supposed to be a little hard to maintain, but I don’t think it should be this hard… You know?”

Will started to cry. Mark started getting teary eyed too as he tried to wipe away his tears.

“Are we breaking up?” Will cried, his voice high from the strain of trying to keep an even voice despite his tears.

“I would like to break up, yah.” Mark said as he sniffled.

“But you’re the only one I know who’s like me,” Will wailed.

“I know! Same to you for me, but what’s the point of being together if it just makes us miserable?”

You nodded a long with Mark. You thought both boys were being very brave and honest with each other despite everything. Watching them break up was giving your heart phantom pains.

“So what now?” Will asked weepily. “Are we supposed to pretend that we never dated or something like that.”

Mark sighed. “No. I don’t want that either. Let’s… Let’s just stop being boyfriends. I don’t know what we’ll do next, but maybe it was a mistake on both our parts to try and date each other.”

Will looked hurt, but he was drying his tears. Then with a nod he said, “Yah. Okay… Bye Mark. See you around?”

“I'll see you around,” he confirmed.

Moon motioned for you to stay with Mark as he went to follow Will as the blond boy walked away. You watched as Mark started to cry into his hands once he thought he was alone. Your heart went out to the teenager. You took your invisibility spell off and quietly sat down in the swing Will was sitting in.

“Tough day?”

Mark jumped at your voice. “Jesus Christ! Where did you come from?!”

You chuckled at his reaction. “You really didn’t hear me walking up, huh.” You pulled out your snacks and juice from your satchel and handed it to the teenage boy. “Here. Crying takes a lot of energy out of you. This will help.”

Mark gave you a teary side-eye, but soon took the snacks and drink. He was still sniffling as he ate the snacks and drank the juice.

“Do you want to talk about what you’re so upset about?” You asked.

Mark shook his head.

“That’s okay, Kid. Be sad for as long as you need to be, okay. You’ll find something that’ll make you feel like smiling again in the future,” you said confidently, “Know that I tell the truth because I’m the sorriest sap of an adult you’ll ever meet.”

Mark rolled his eyes, his tears drying as he finished off the treat and was drinking the last of the juice.

“It’s true though,” you said with a bemused smile on your face, “all my insides hurt all the time and it makes me go all blarglargle…” you gargled your sentence as you slid out of the swing and splayed against the ground like you were a dying scarecrow.

This made Mark laugh. You smiled up at the teenager and motioned to take his trash from him. “Thanks for the snacks, Stranger, but uh, I better get home, or my mom will begin to worry.”

You give Mark a thumbs up and said, “Don’t let me keep you. I’m just glad I got you to smile.”

“Yah, yah,” Mark dismissed you as he walked away.

You got to your feet and dusted off your backside. As you stood by yourself in the empty playground, your thoughts drifted to Sun. As much as you don’t want to confront it, you should probably apologize to him for forcing that kiss onto him. If you weren’t so angry at the time, you’re sure you could have come up with a better way of proving your point than locking lips with him. You grimaced at yourself as you tried to force away the thoughts again of how warm he felt and how he smelled like daffodils.

“Hey Newbie!” Moon yelled.

You looked up to see Moon and Sun flying down towards you.

“I saw Mark walking back home. Are you doing okay, preforming your first break up?” Moon asked.

Sun was looking around like he was pointedly avoiding the sight of you.

You fiddled with your fingers. “Uh. I couldn’t resist trying to make the kid feel better.”

Moon nodded understandingly. “As long as you weren’t trying to say that he should get back together with Will then it’s fine. Though it is advised that you try to refrain from doing it often in the future.”

Considering you don’t have much of a future, it’s a promise that you can easily keep. Clearing your throat, you then turned your attention to Sun.

“Sun.”

“Trainee.” He said with distain.

“I’d like to apologize for forcing that kiss onto you the other night. Even if my point was made, it still wasn’t right of me to do that to you… How about we forget that kiss ever happened and go on like normal, yah?” You offered your hand out for him to shake, hoping he’ll take your olive branch.

Sun gave you a scrutinizing look, then he looked to Moon for guidance. Moon motioned for Sun to take your hand. Sun slumped a bit at the motioned suggestion like he really didn’t want to, but eventually he took your hand and the two of you shook hands.

“Fine. Fine. I accept your apology… but you know, that just means I win.” Sun said in a smug tone of voice.

You sputtered. “What do you mean, you win. What about me apologizing to you is a win?”

Sun let go of your hand so he could use his hands to better gesture with and said, “Oh no. Not the apology. The how-about-we-forget-that-kiss-thing, you added to the apology. What’s there to forget if it didn’t mean anything, hmmm?”

You stuttered on your words. Anger filling you as you motioned like you wanted to strangle his scrawny yellow neck. Moon tried to mediate as Sun got haughtier and that in turn made you angrier.

“That’s not what I was meaning you walking stick up my ass! Go suck on a lemon you cheddar cheese-faced fuck,” you shouted at him before flying away.

Before you could get too far, Sun yelled, “You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid!”

That really got your blood boiling, and you were glad you were already running away. There’s no way you were going to let him be right about you, and what you know about love. Your heart wouldn’t be able to handle it.

#fnaf #fanfiction #cherub au #starrspice

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ifitistobeitisuptous · 5 months

Text

I blew up a close relationship this week.

I need to talk about it. I need to grieve it, especially since I killed it. I know you don't need to listen, so I'm putting it all under the cut.

be warned. It's long. Very fucking long.

OK. I'm chatting with a beloved friend a week ago. I'm sleep deprived and behind on my meds. This is very relevant as you shall see.

We have a confusing interaction where I accidentally hurt their feelings. They say we should end the conversation there because things are too weird. I think they have left the conversation entirely, but I find out today they were showing the interaction to a 3rd party to get their opinion on what happened.

Meanwhile I'm panicking because I'd accidentally hurt someone who I love. So I delete any messages that might have been "the cause of the hurt" like an idiot cause a) they are still in the chat and call me on my destroying evidence and 2) I'll never able to point to the exact words I said and carefully explain what I meant.

My panic intensifies and I leave the chat and come back to tumblr where I send them a long message apologising and explaining, while still spiralling into a worse headspace. They tell me to get some sleep.

But I don't.

I'm getting suicidal. Yes I know that is not a rational response to the circumstances. Sleep dep is NOT good for my mental health. And hurting the feelings of someone I care about is a huge suicidal trigger for me.

So I write what is clearly a suicide note. And post it here on this blog. I address it to no one, a generalpost about how shity I feel. I don't even realise it's a suicide note to halfway through it. I don't mention the triggering events, and I say in the tags that it's no ones fault.

I go off and take a (safe) amount of sleeping pills with a (safe) amount of rum. Because even though I'm in distress I know that it's 80% sleep dep, and I can fix that if I self-medicate hard enough.

I come back about 5-10 mins later and delete the suicide note. It had no notes so I hopeful noone saw it.

I put up an apology letter to anyone who did see it, because I don't want to traumatise my followers. And after about 30 mins I take that down, because it too has no notes and I don't want to worry anyone.

I'm starting to calm down and level out, and about 2 hours after I last talked to my friend I go back to send them another apology with the promise that I really was going to sleep now.

Message can't be sent. Blog doesn't exist.

They'd blocked me without a word. I don't know when except sometime in the last 2 hours.

I don't know their mental state. Can't know. I'm worried. I know they also have suicidal issues, so I'm hoping they just blocked me to protect themselves.

I pop back over to discord to let them know I'm OK now. But they'd stopped me messaging them on there also.

Fuck. I had no other contact for them, so I had no way of checking on them to see if they are OK.

Days pass. My worry over them doesn't.

It builds.

5 days I wait. No word.

I'm hurt, but understanding. Their mental health is more important than our friendship. But I can't know the state of their mental health. I was hopeful every time I saw that I had notifications, that maybe they'd re-followed me.

I'd previously reblogged something from one of their mutuals, one I knew they were close to. So I dug through my old posts till I found it, and thus their blog name.

And so I searched their blog for any signs of my beloved friend. And saw they'd interacted 3 days earlier and my friend seemed fine. That should have been enough. If I'd found no evidence of interaction that MIGHT justify some of my following actions. But as it was I... well.

It wasn't enough for me. I made a fake account. A pretty obvious one. Shit, the bio was "stalker". I thought that was a lot less weird then spending the time and emotional energy to craft a believable account. No, none of this is healthy.

I used the sockpuppet to look over my friend's blog. They were posting normally as if their life hadn't had a hole ripped in it. So I followed them with the obvious fake blog. I wanted to get caught I guess. Provoke a reaction. Have them acknowledge I still existed.

They blocked the fake blog without a word.

At this point I'll remind you, gentle reader, that I'm here to explain and mourn, not to try to justify any of my actions.

So yesterday (when sleep deprived again due to a dieing pet) i followed their mutual's blog. With my fake account. I don't even consider following with my actual account, which perhaps might have made sense. Perhaps not. Still pretty stalkery to follow a blog for the sole purpose of seeing when they publicly interact with someone who obviously doesn't want to talk to me.

I still believed if we could just talk I could clear everything up and we could be friends again. Maybe never as close friends again, but they were such a ray of light in my life, I'd hoped to see some of that light again.

But I got their attention. They was angry.

They were angry that I'd deliberately insulted them a week ago, then threatened to kill myself because they'd stopped talking to me. Now as you had read above, that's not how it went down on my end, but now I understood why they had blocked me without comment. If I was who they thought I was being, then yes, block me into the sun. I'd deserve it.

So i felt hope. If I could get them to understand the insult was accidental, that the suicidal thinking wasn't about their actions but mine, that I wasn't trying to manipulate some response from them, then maybe we could fix this.

But of course that wasn't all.

They were also enraged that I'd stalked them and their friend... which yeah, I really had no excuse for. But I still thought that if they could see the first part was a misunderstanding, then a little light stalking is forgivable.

But they couldn't believe that I was innocent of the first part, since I was so clearly guilty of the second. And as they said, they were there a week ago, they knew I'd insulted them then suicide baited them to get them to keep taking to me. And they blocked me again mid my protest.

It could have ended there. It should have ended there.

But I knew. If only I could explain they'd see it was all a big misunderstanding.

So, with the fake account still (God know why?!), I compose an ask to their mutual. And again I'll stress, this is me saying what I did, not what I should have done.

Unfortunately as it was an ask, not a message, I don't have a copy. But it started along the lines of "if you think it would be ok, can you pass this on. I understand and accept that you might ignore it or, block me and that's a fair response."

And so I apologised. I accepted blame. I accepted this was probably the end of our relationship. But I also tried to explain how it was a misunderstanding. And I don't even remember if I addressed the stalking bit. I did say I was never going to log into that fake account again.

then I took a nap. I'd done all i could to mend the relationship (or at least end it with dignity), and I honestly didn't expect a response. Either because the message didn't get passed on, or because my former friend agreed it was the end and didn't contact me again. It was a message in a bottle, cast into the ocean.

I woke to 28 messages.

Threats of police re stalking. 9 messages just with the words "text me". Yelling at me, calling me a coward and immature for not responding. Calling my behaviour disgusting.

and I had been re-blocked. So I couldn't respond.

OK then. That hasn't gone as expected, because I'm an idiot for expecting unrealistic things.

So I spend about 30 mins to find their friends blog again (because I'd forgotten the name), this time with my real account, as I'd said I'd never log into the fake account again.

So to send a quick ask, for them to pass on, that I was asleep and not ignoring their mutual. And could they unblock me if they actually want a response.

Ghost blog. The friend had blocked me also. And fair enough.

But it left me with a problem.

I didn't want to find another friend of theirs and ask them to pass on the "I need to be both unblocked and awake if you want me to reply" message. Even I knew that was too creepy.

So I pinned a little message saying that to the top of my blog thinking that you can't look at blog you have blocked, so there was little chance of them ever seeing it. And thus little chance of me hearing from them again. Can you look at blogs you've got blocked? I've only blocked porn bots and never gone back to check.

Now I had thought that the next time they messaged me was because of that pinned post, but I've been reading over the messages as I'm writing this and I've come to the realisation: they sent me the 28 messages before their friend had passed on the letter to them.

So probable order of events

I sent a letter via their friend -> they message me out of the blue 28 times then reblock -> i pin a note to my blog -> they receive the letter I sent via the friend -> they message me again to yell about that letter.

OK that makes more sense based on what they said.

Anyway. They yell at me. Again. Understandable now as they just got the letter. But they say I'm suicide baiting them, Again!? Now I really wish I had the letter so I can try to see how they came to that conclusion. I mean, maybe because it's tone is of a goodbye (as I think I'll never hear from them again). I'm just confused on that one.

They demand I delete the fake blog. I try to insist I never once suicide bated them. They don't care anymore. They declare the letter via the friend was the last straw and they had now no hope the relationship could be recovered. Which was surprising as I'd thought they were long past that point by now. It was sad but I think I needed to hear them say that.

I said goodbye because I knew they were about to block me a final time. And I said I'll go delete the fake blog. After which they blocked me before I'd finished typing "I'm sorry" again.

So. I'm glad I got to talk this out. It was therapeutic and allowed me to examine myself and my bad decisions. I almost hope none of you read it. I'm going to leave it here, however, as a warning to others to not get to close to me. Or at least make sure those who do know how fucked up I am.

I do want to hear comments and criticisms, sympathies and condemnations. Of me only. No criticism of my former beloved friend.

#Tw Suicide #self destructive behavior #self analysis #tw grief #Pointless pain #Irrevocable relationship breakdown #animal death

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survey--s · 2 years

Text

359.

How many people have you liked this year? Just one. How many pills do you take a day? None, for the most part, but when I’m on my period it can be 10-12 pills a day. Do you have any celebrity crushes? Bradley Jaden. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? The ability to always have the amount of money I want/need in my bank account. Do you put ketchup on top of your French fries or on the side? On the side, for sure.

Where did you last sleep other than your house? The hospital. Where did you get your last bruise from? Copper jumping up at me and accidentally hurting my leg. He was so timid a week ago and now he’s all over me wanting fuss lol. Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single? Of course - why on earth wouldn’t it be? Ever worn something of the opposite sex's clothing? Sure, I practically lived in Mike’s t-shirts and hoodies when we first started dating lol. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? I suppose, but they’re not really a secret, more I just haven’t felt the need to tell anyone about certain things. Last CD you blasted through your car stereo? I haven’t ever played a CD in my car, I just connect my iPod. How many email accounts do you have? Just two that are in use, but I’m sure there are loads of old ones out there. Who is the best cook in your family? My aunt, for sure, but my mum is pretty good too. Which baby animal is your favorite? ALL the baby animals lol. Have you ever carved a pumpkin? Nope. My parents were very anti-Halloween so I never did stuff like carving pumpkins or trick or treating. When is the last time you went to a carnival? Uh, it would have been when I was at university, I think. Do you have a favorite glass, cup, or mug? My multi-coloured polka dot mug. What branch of science interests you the most? I’m not hugely interested in any kind of science, but maybe forensics or astronomy if I had to pick. Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Sure, loads of times for university. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with via text? Uhh, I have no idea. I don’t tend to have deep conversations by text. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr. Twitter is just a cesspit. Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No. Favorite YouTuber? I don’t really get the appeal of watching random people on YouTube. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? Nope. Do you have any gay family members? Yeah, my dad’s sister is gay. Was your first kiss romantic? It was sweet, but I wouldn’t say any kiss between two 11yo’s can be romantic. What are you most likely to go to jail for? Hurting someone who hurt my dog. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Nobody has ever slept over at this house, lol. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? One of ex’s has been in a relationship with another man for about three years now lol. I’m not entirely surprised tbh. How many people has your best friend had sex with? I don’t have a best friend. When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? A few months ago. Are you currently “appearing offline” to anybody? Ha, I miss those days sometimes. What were you for Halloween last year? Nothing. Do you believe that karma can come back and slap you in the face? I don’t believe it’s karma necessarily, but your decisions can definitely come back and bite you, that’s for sure. Have you ever been to Texas? No, and I have absolutely no desire to go there either. Do your siblings text you? I don’t have any siblings but I occasionally text my sister-in-law. Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Haha, of course. I think I’ve searched all my old houses on Google Earth. Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? Nope. Who is your ex dating/talking to? As far as I know, he’s single. Who did you last pinky promise with? Probably Amber, lol. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? No siblings. What happened at the last party you went to? I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time I went to a party, lol. Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? All the fucking time, lol. When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong? This morning but I think it was just being tired and being out in the rain lol. I feel fine now so I’m going to assume it was nothing major. Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? Her name was Lucy, and no, we’ve not spoken since primary school. Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? My wedding and engagement rings. What is your least favourite song, by your favourite artist? I don’t really know. What color is your jewelry box? Brown. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? That’s my mother, lol. What is your brother/sister’s favorite food? ... Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? We do. Clotted cream and I think some Ben & Jerry’s but I don’t know what flavours they are. In your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most? Probably my husband. Are you afraid of losing the person you like right now? I mean, I don’t actively worry about it, but I’d be devastated if he died. Does anyone know your Facebook password? No. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? The idea makes me wince, lol. I’m not really a big fan of septum piercings. Do you enjoy being outdoors? As long as the weather is good, yes. Gay marriage: love is love or a horrible stand against God? Love is love. I don’t really understand any other way of thinking. How many times have you been to a zoo? Load, I used to go all the time as a kid as our local zoo was only about half an hour away. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? None of them are unspeakable, but there are some I avoid in company as it inevitably just leads to an argument.

#survey #surveys

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realhankmccoy · 1 month

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Q: Hank, before Babycuck went into the Great Tumblr Yonder what direction did you think they were headed

A: I already laid all that out but one of the Laffy Taffy things about them was how they were so far from a man at ease in the world

they were trying to like

they were like this cuck of the wild west who wanders into a Vegas casino right

and thinkgs they're gonna game the game by game the game the game into so many layers that it becomes comical

like take the song Poker Face by Lady Gaga right and SQUARE it

like that, they were a square right? And not secure in the world like Americans are not in part because these characters know themselves to be Bugs Bunnies who cannot be trusted and so they presume they gotta by Bugs² Bunny² to 'win' since winning is so high on the list of goals.

Poker Face² Bugs² Bunny² maybe at their very worst and most accidentally comical but i didn't see them quite get that far before their blog was removed

thus the far process of what they're trying to do to win rendered them far funnier than just doing nothing at all would have

you know, just trying way too hard to win similar to Billy Corgan's new album or the way he gets when he's practically crying and screaming that he wants it so bad and everyone else is just like, dude, clam down already

but he's not gonna clam down he doesn't even believe in being at ease with other people TRUMP DOES NOT BELIEVE IN CHILLING OUT TRUMP BELEIVES EVERYONE NEEDS A SHAKEUP AN ASSKICKING

which is how the red pill poisoned Bruce, Babydad and Babybro from being at ease with others too

it's a fear pill

sometimes they can be at ease with others who took the fear pill

but i think they'd be better off addressing their core fear

and realising that they're making a way bigger fool and laughing stock of themselves in 'standing strong' than they would in just apologising and restoring trust and realising they have some work to do on themselves instead of constantly screaming THE MEAN FAGGOT LET ME DOWN I WAS INCREDIBLE I AM EVERYTHING THEY ARE GONNA SEE MY MIRACULOUSNESS

i mean i don't know, Baby Jesus was a miracle but are you the Baby Jesus? Is that the point of Christ Inanity? Because i don't think it's the point

i think we're all special

some of us are obviously more competent and adult

but i mean that doesn't mean children aren't special

children are the future or the lack of a future

depending on which way you think things are going

i think many of them will be Trump's children just to Spite the Faggot

which --hey, it's a Free Cunt Tree kid always has been nobody's gonna stop you from choosing the easy path and being a cunt and a cuck obviously that's what you want i'm not even worth a blackberry cocktail at Bowdie's so don't say you aren't getting exactly what you chose cuz you are it's your party, so don't cry at it -- or i guess cry if you want to, cry if you want to, you would cry too if you were a Baby and it happened to you, right?

well, you can see why i laugh at least and after all Babycuck took from me they shouldn't get to take my laughter of survival too plus it is funny what these kids are putting themselves and others through and all for the sake of HE who shaped the young child while the child was still in the crib...

#babycuck

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polizwrites · 7 months

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PoliZ's WIP Update - 27 Sep 2023

A decent word count for the week - I touched 4 fics (1 WIPs & 3 new works) for a total of 1886 words.

On Ao3, I posted:

The Family You Find - a feel-good Bucky & Ayo ficlet

Chapter Six of Technicalities - Steve and Bucky finish off their sexytimes.

Two Little Words - Established Stucky drabble

On Tumblr I posted:

As Night Falls - a feel-good Sam & Bucky ficlet set in Delacroix.

I have 20 semi-active WIPs 😬 with my current deadline being the All Caps Bingo that wraps at the end of September.

See below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc. As always, feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects or any other WIPs I’ve got out there. Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Seek & Destroy Collab

After reading @psychiccatpanda‘s amazing Morguna and the Green Queen, I got the itch to explore the Soldier’s POV and talked Faustie into collab’ing with me! We’re working on a new part of the series, and I’ve contributed about 900 words towards the 2500-ish we have so far. Going to see if I can squeeze any of my BBB squares into this fic.

All Caps Bingo [ACB_R1] (Ends 30 Sep)

I’ve got 28 completed squares (counting unclaimed adoptables), so I made my blackout! I have one fic to post on Friday - am working on my fill submissions in the meanwhile and will have a masterpost put together sometime next week.

* N3 - FREE – Posted the last chapter of Technicalities on Friday - where Steve and Bucky finish off their sexytimes. This chapter came in at 1512 words.

* G3 - Established Relationship - Ended up writing a quick Stucky drabble - Two Little Words, which posted this morning and came in at 100 words..

* Sept Adoptable: Dominant Omega - This is of course a perfect match for the next/final chapter of Finding Something Fresh where omega!Dom!Steve and beta!sub!Bucky complete their scene. It's drafted at 919 words and will post on Friday.

Sam Wilson Bingo [SWB_R3] (Ends 15 Oct 2023)

I have six fills and one WIP - I need to work on cross fills between this and the Bucky Barnes and Captain Bottom bingo - hoping to manage a bingo in the next two weeks.

* B4 - Natasha Romanoff - Maybe add on to my Card Sharks drabble, where SamNat & Steve conspire to create a polycule with Bucky? this idea crosses over nicely with my BBB KINK: Seduction mission square

* N5 - James Rhodes - filled with Braking Their Fall - see ACB Pararescue Sam Wilson above.

* G3 - Joaquin Torres - possible expansion of A Rising Star

* G5 - Wilson Family Dynamics - filled this with As Night Falls, a TFaWS canon-compliant Sam & Bucky ficlet set in Delacroix. It came in at 368 words.

Halloween Horror Bingo - [HHB_23] (Ends 31 Oct 2023)

Just signed up for this event, hosted by @halloweenhorrorbingo. After picking three horror films, you get a 3x3 card (with 3 alternates) with prompts based on those films.

ALT1 - There's something under the bed - I have a fun WInterHawk Werewolf Au idea for this one - 388 words in so far and may cross over with my BBB Accidental Villainy square.

WinterIron Bingo - [WIB_R1] (Ends 16 Dec 2023)

I have sixteen fills completed and two WIPs for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod! Along with crossfilling against my other bingos, I’m going to try to combine my B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes, Alpine loves Tony and Blind date. (Tony POV remix of A Sugar Coated Pill?)

* N1 - Bucharest – I think I can fold this into a future chapter of My Love is Vengeance - where a young!Tony and a recovering!Bucky have been kidnapped by Hydra, who still thinks Bucky is the Soldier.

* G2 - Eye contact during sex - This will come into play in Chapter 6 of A Sugar-Coated Pill, where Bucky figures out what making love really means, with Tony’s help. It’s crossing over with BBB KINK: Gentle Sex and is up to 503 words.

* G4 - AU: College Students – looking to expand Beaten to the Punch with some backstory on Bucky and Tony as science camp counselors to fit with this square - will also cross over with my WFB Volunteering Together square.

* O5 - Gentle – use this poem as inspiration?

Stucky’Verse Bingo Round 1 - [SVB_R1] (Ends 22 Dec)

Eleven fills, two WIPs and a couple of ideas.

* A1 - Harem - crossover with CABB Secret/Forbidden Relationship - Bucky and shrimpy!Steve are both concubines - they love each other more than their lord. I poked at this a little last week and have 71 words.

* A4 - Fairy Tale Curse - this seems custom-made for a continuation of Beyond the Beast😁 Nothing written yet, other than some Vague Ideas.

* C3 - FREE - Need to find a good match for Chapter 2 of Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole - a Bucky POV remix of at least the first part of Take What Was Wrong (And Make it Right), which is current sitting at 52 words. I’m expecting at least one more chapter, possibly two, depending on how far I want to take the remix. This could also slot into D2 - Sleep Deprivation or C5 - Last Resort

Bucky Barnes Bingo - [BBB_R5] (Ends 10 Jan 2024)

I’ve got eleven fills, four WIPs, and a couple more Vague ideas.

B2 - KINK: Seduction Mission - might add a new chapter to Card Sharks - where Sam/Natasha and Steve finish what they started to get Bucky onboard for a poly partnership.

U1 - Never the fall that kills you - I’ve got a WinterIron hanahaki fic idea for this that I might play with.

U3 - Fireplace - Working on a 1980′s No Powers WinterIron fic set at a ski lodge where Tony’s being wooed by poetry and love letters that Bucky wrote to someone else. Started poking at this as a crossover with a Love Letters prompt and it’s sitting at 129 words.

C2 - Yelena Belova– The plan is to use this prompt in the next chapter of Peresmešnik, (aka Three Avengers and a Baby), which is currently sitting at 1303 words (600-ish of which are mine).

C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple - next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion. Got a spark of an idea the other day that might get me a bit further on this fic.

K3 - Magic - Aro!Bucky healing with a kiss idea?

Y1 - Gentle Sex – In-progress Chapter 6 of Sugar-Coated Pill- see WIB Eye Contact During Sex.

Y3 - Alpine - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.

Y4 - Forgotten Things - using this for Chapter 4 of You Can’t Stop It With a Gun - it’s sitting at 116 words at the moment.

May Adopted - Insomnia - finally got this filled with The Dead of Night, which also filled a Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF211 An Old Friend] along with my JBB FREE square. It came in at 317 words and will post to Ao3 before this event ends.

August Adoptable: Take the Shot - sounds like a WinterHawk fic to me… maybe cross over with JBB Touch-starved?

Tony Stark Bingo Round 7 - [TSB_R7] (ends 15 Feb)

Ten fills and zero WIPs, with a couple of ideas in play.

* S1 - Galaxy - possibly use in final chapter of Never More to Go Astray ?

* T5 - Shawarma - possible crossover with SAUB Canon Divergence – Battle of New York-related?

* A2 - KINK: Concubine - possible crossover with SAUB Gentle Dom

* R1 - Animal Transformation - DemonPanda shared a fun prompt on the WIB server - Tony as a short-haired werewolf who needs to cuddle his pack members for warmth.

* R5 - Doppelganger/Evil Twins - The Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF214 Broken Mirror] got me at least a good start on the idea I’ve been playing with for this square. I posted NamNori on Tumblr and have a general idea of how I want to build on it to also fill my SAUB AU: Crack square. It’s currently sitting at 360 words.

Stony AUniverse Bingo [SAUB_R1] (ends 15 Feb)

Another brand-new bingo I’m helping co-mod! Six fills, three WIPs and several crossover ideas already!

* S1 - Edging - Filled this with Ringing in the New, where Tony makes a suggestion to improve/change up their love life. It's a crossover with a Flash Fiction Friday prompt: How Do You Use ‘It’? and came in at 324 words - I will post it to Ao3 before the event is over.

* S2 - AU: Crack - see TSB Doppelganger/Evil Twins

* S3 - AU: Wings - see SVB FREE square

* S5 - Accidental Baby Acquisition - see BBB Yelena Belova

* T1 - AU: Fantasy - CoffeeOwl shared a really cool dragon!Steve/indebted!Tony prompt in the ACB Discord server that I may be playing with for this.

* T4 - AU: Canon Divergence - see TSB Shawarma above.

* N2 - Mutual Pining - crossover with CABB Royal Knight?

* N3 - Gentle Dom - see TSB KINK: Concubine above

Captain (America) Bottom Bingo - Round 2 [CABB] (ends 28 Feb 2024)

I signed up for a 3x3 card for this bingo and have four fills, one WIPs and a couple of crossover ideas.

* A2 - Secret/Forbidden Relationship - see SVB Harem

* B3 - Royal Knight - see SAUB Mutual Pining.

Post July Break Bingo [JBB_23p] (Ends Apr 2024)

@julybreakbingo is running another event to tide participants over with a 2x3 non-fandom-specific card - I got mine earlier this week and am checking it over for potential crossovers.

A1 - “It’s you. It’s always been you.” - This might fit in with my TSB Doppelgangers/Evil Twins fill NamNori above :: ponders::

B2 - Character’s personality is split into two different beings – I’ve never played with Bucky & the Soldier being two different people, but this seems like the perfect opportunity! Will see what might be a good crossover on BBB or WIB (or even SVB)

C1 - Touch Starved – another good fit for a Bucky-centric fic. (Steve or Tony or Clint) possibly crossover with BBB Take the shot?

Warm and Fluffy Bingo - [WFB] (no end date)

I got my card from @warmandfluffybingocards back in February but really hadn’t done much with it - however, I’m picking it back up for some crossover possibilities!

* O5 - Volunteering Together – see WIB AU: College Students

————

On other creative fronts: I am working on a Dracula Stuffed With Character figure in progress for a commission and have signed up for the Marvel Trumps Hate event - so keep an eye out for my auctions!

If you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations, check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 150!). These soft stuffed figures are mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!

#writing stuff #wip wednesday #wip update #shameless self promo

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kittiesfordays · 1 year

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live commentary, as i experience moonlight chicken for the first time ep6

after 55 years, here i am, once again.

had to come to tumblr to see how many episodes i watched, because i accidentally deleted my watch history :):):):)

i also took my sleeping pills and they're already working, but i will fight it for the gays

It's been two days 😅😅😅 jesus doesnt want me to watch episode 6 of moonlight chicken but i will rise and i will conquer. so here we go - episode 6

Ok so i was mad at wen for giving alan hope and now i'm mad at jim for giving wen hope

While they're cooking and eating i will use this opportunity to play homescapes since i can't watch anyway

Li ming's pissed

I swear, someone doesn't want me to witness episode six of moonlight chicken because my home wifi, which has been perfectly fine all day, is now refusing to work..

Horrible mother having a realization about having been a horrible mother

She's trying, which is great

Heart looking at the pictures 💔

He's so happy 😭

Jim bestie i am begging you to let wen kiss you please

It's not you, it's me 💀💀💀

This is the calmest argument i've ever seen in my life 😂

Honestly, he cheated on you and tried to justify it so don't be too upset that he died. Is that horrible of me to say?

now we're in a morgue

Why are his nostrils and ears plugged with cotton, i know this is supposed to be emotional and all but all i can see is the cotton

I googled it and apparently it's so that bugs don't crawl up and fester.

I will also assume that he died in water so he should have been in a worse state and already decomposing a little but he looks fine if you don't count the whole him being dead..

Alan🥰

Alan, just give him the loan, he's not asking you for a threesome

Alan's being helpful despite everything🥰

I truly am an Alan apologist

Gaipagaipagaipagaipa💖

Gaipa💔, honestly sweetie you don't need an emotionally constipated lover like jim, let wen deal with jim, they deserve each other, gaipa pls i beg you

Didn't we just celebrate christmas and it went disastrous? Why are we decorating for christmas again?

Ayo wen 😉

Oishi honey lemon

Beam had a whole child???

Am i just now noticing but did they put gray colour in jim's hair to make him look 73? Earth doesn't have gray hair at 29.

Oh so that isn't beam's child, i jumped to conclusions

I didn't see her name but she's honestly so great

What is jim planning, are we getting a kiss?

No we absolutely do not yell in public are you mad

Personally if i was li ming i would have saved heart as h👂🏻t

Kitty❣️

Flustered happy babies oh god this is sickening 🥺🥺

Oh it's the new years not christmas, obviously 💀💀💀

Heart put one string behind his ear and the other one he left in front and that's all i can see

I hate the little poppers so much they smell like metal and headaches

Not alan playing dead 😂

Okay so i learned this - whenever something good happens with someone, whenever someone's happy, inevitably someone else is going to look them in the eye and say - is this what you want? Because you're never going to get it.

I feel like after this episode i need another two day break.

Thoughts and opinions - fuck you jim for doing that to gaipa, gaipa💖, alan🥰, h👂🏻t and li ming <3.

#moonlight chicken #spoilers #jimwen #heartliming

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the-magnet-girl · 2 years

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Chromaspace: Conscript Chapter 1

I’m serializing my entire Sci-Fi/Space Opera novel and posting it here on tumblr. If you like what you’ve read today please consider supporting me by purchasing a copy of the book. Links at the end of the chapter, please enjoy. Chapter 1

Jacob panted as he came to a stop at the top of the hill. He fell to his knees in the green grass, legs burning, chest aching. Grabbing the low orbit transponder from his belt, he pressed the send button.

“Field Agent Zackery to the Ulysses,” he puffed. “Mission is done, requesting extraction.” He gulped air again, laid down on his back, and stared up at the strange blue sky with its angular clouds. It’s over, it’s finally over, he told himself.

Jacob lay there for a good 20 minutes before he craned his head and looked at the transponder in his hand. He pressed the send button again. “Ulysses, are you there? Ulysses, this is Jacob, can you hear me?” But there was no response, and another 20 minutes later, there was still wasn’t a response.

Jacob let out a deep sigh. “I. Am. So. Screwed.”

Dust danced in the sunlight that streamed through the open window. Jacob slept on a bare mattress; his body sprawled out from a fitful night’s sleep. Only half-awake, he rolled over. Dust caught in his lungs, and he coughed himself fully awake. Jacob sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“Uuuuugghhh,” he groaned.

Everything in the house was covered in dust. The plaster-like walls were cracked, the floorboards were uneven, and it smelled old and musty. There was a stone water basin in the kitchen, and if Jacob turned it on, it would flow with cold, crisp water. He looked at the faucet longingly but turned his attention instead to a dirty plastic jug. He opened the jug and poured himself some of the stale, tepid water.

Sipping, he said the same thing he had at the start of every morning for the last thirty days. “I’d kill for a coffee right now.”

The large bay window looked out to the garden. Citrus trees were bearing so much fruit the branches bowed under the strain. The berries were so bright, and ripe Jacob could almost smell them from inside the house. I hate this planet, he thought, and not for the first time. From the side of the canister, he removed one of seven paper pouches and headed for the front porch, in his hands the only ‘edible food’ on this planet.

“Rations? It looks more like colored sand,” he had said.

“Tastes like it, too.” The supply officer smiled so wide Jacob could see the man’s molars. “But y’see, it’s cut with forsithadren, and that’s important cause it’s the only thing separatin’ you from a slow and painful death.” He held up a finger to emphasize his point. “Now, this is so important I’m going to say it twice; it’s not very strong, so you can’t eat anythin’ you find on that planet. You understand?” he asked. “You can’t eat anythin’ you find on that planet. I’ve been ordered to assign you enough rations and forsithadren to complete a ten-day mission.”

Jacob shook his fist at the air. “Ten days, ten days, y’ bastards. Where the hell are you?”

It had been a month. A month. Would they even come back to look for me at this point? This was supposed to be his last mission; he was out as soon as he reported back to Captain Merrick. Then, and only then, would he finally be done with all this bullshit. Military service had never part of Jacob’s plan, but circumstances had made it unavoidable. A deal had been struck, and the only way out meant seeing it through to the end.

“I want my life back,” he muttered indignantly.

Jacob forced down the bitter, gritty rations with a swig of only slightly less bitter, gritty water. Rationing water was both mentally and physically taxing. He was forced to boil the local water and disinfect it with a dose of forsithadren. This purification cut down on his food even more and made everything taste exactly like an accidentally chewed pill.

In a survival situation, you’re supposed to stay put. The idea was that if you moved, no one would be able to find you. Jacob had waited long enough for the extraction pod, and things were getting dire. It was time to find his own way off this godforsaken world.

Jacob had landed on Pherinox 5A in an injection tube, which was a fancy way to say tin-can-that-can-survive-atmospheric-reentry. What it lacked in comfort, it also lacked in legroom and storage. As such, Jacob had been issued only his flight suit, rations, and water. He packed up the few items he had obtained on this world; a small wooden box, a long object wrapped in a cloth, a bolt pistol, his flight suit, and what was left of his rations and water. With a last glance at the lavish but decaying building, Jacob headed out the front door. In the distance, he could see the wreckage of his injection pod; a scar on the pristine landscape. During his time on the planet, he had found many others, most of them within a five-mile radius from his landing spot. All of them were empty of passengers. Apparently, he wasn’t the first one to be sent on this mission. From these crash sites, he had been able to scavenge more jugs of water and medicine-laced rations. Just when he thought the forsithadren couldn’t get any worse. This older stuff had made him gag, and it took days until he got used to it.

Injection tubes hadn’t been the only thing that had landed on the surface. Jacob had found a military air transport of a model that he could actually pilot. Unfortunately, the transport’s batteries were almost empty, and it would never make it off the ground. There was just enough charge to power up a three-wheeled vehicle in the cargo hold. It was a striking shade of blue and had the word “VOX” stenciled on the side in big, blocky white letters. If he were lucky, the VOX would get him to a major city where he could find a more powerful transponder or, if he was very, very lucky, a ship. So far, Jacob had not been ‘very, very lucky’, but he had to hope things would change and soon, or he would starve to death.

The warm air whipped past his head as he cruised down the fabricrete roads. These roads stretched for miles and miles and were one of the few hints that Pherinox 5A had at one time been a relatively modern Terran colony. Fabricrete was expensive, but for practical purposes, indestructible. Pherinox 5A must have been significant at one point in time. Jacob had not been briefed on the exact circumstances behind the planet’s demise, only that it had been a casualty of the second war with the Vird some 50 years previously.

“The Vird seeded Pherinox 5A with a waterborne bacterium that harnessed the unique and naturally harmless radiation produced by the Pherinox star and turned it into a deadly poison,” said the briefing officer. “This poison eventually found its way into the water table and plant biosphere, killing all animal life on the planet.”

“I don’t get it,” Jacob said. “How does it kill ‘all animal life’? Like, what about insects? Rodents?”

The briefing officer frowned. “Our intelligence indicates all animal life.”

“But there was an evac, right? So not all animal life was affected, I mean, people got out.”

“Some did,” said the officer with a nod.

“Where are they now?”

“What?”

“Where are the people who escaped in the evac, or their descendants, or whatever.”

The intelligence officer rolled his eyes. “I don’t like your attitude.”

“I get that a lot. I guess it has something to do with not wanting to be here.”

“You really want to go back to prison? Waste another year of your life?”

Jacob just looked away and said nothing.

“That’s what I thought.”

Union Military intelligence was such bullshit, Jacob thought. It was only accurate when he didn’t want it to be.

After hours of driving the Vox, Jacob crested the final hill. Blue domes of this as-yet-unknown city shone brightly in the noonday sun. Despite his best efforts to conserve power, the engine's whine dropped, and he came to a halt. Jacob grabbed his backpack and rations. He would have to leave most of his water on the vehicle until he needed it. It would be a mile walk to the dome entrance.

Jacob shook his head. “I hate this planet. I hate this planet so much.”

A sign at the entrance read: “Welcome to Heloshia, the Pearl of Pherinox.”

You better be open, y’bastards.

The enormous central gate was indeed open, its arch casting a hard shadow on the road beneath it. Its double-entry design reminded Jacob of an oversized airlock, with the inner side disassembled. There were indeed the remnants of hinges; large rectangular indentations that led credibility to his idea. It also begged the question: why were they needed? In fact, why would a world with a breathable atmosphere need a domed city at all? It didn’t make any sense.

Like every place else on Pherinox, this city was abandoned. There was a stillness in the air. A deserted wilderness has leaves and trees and wind, but an empty domed city had no such background noise. It was a deafening unnatural silence that Jacob found soul-crushingly disturbing.

The streets were crammed with four-wheeled vehicles and some tower climbers, used by the residents of the domescrapers. They were all locked, and Jacob didn’t have his tools, so they’d be no help.

“Why can’t I take them?” he had asked the deployment officer.

“Because lockpicks are not regulation equipment,” the officer said disinterestedly.

Jacob had, of course, tried to sneak a set into the injection tube with him. But, as always, he was searched and, as always, they were confiscated.

“Where do you always get these?” the security officer asked incredulously.

Jacob shrugged. “If I told you, I’d never be able to get any more.”

The security officer shoved Jacob into the injection tube. “You won’t need them,” he said and closed the tube.

Jacob needed them.

At an intersection of two wide roads and a monorail, Jacob was amazed to see an illuminated sign above a public access terminal. Almost giddy, he hurried to the terminal in awe.

“Fifty years, and it still has power. Amazing!”

A sharp computerized voice replied, “Unrecognized query. This terminal is only capable of providing location and traffic information. Please submit a new query.”

“Computer, tell me the current traffic conditions,” Jacob said with a grin.

“Current traffic conditions are clear. There are no blockages or delays on any byways or skyways. Level 32 causeway 8 is under construction and off-limits. Would you like to make another query?”

“Computer, direct me to the nearest spacedock.”

“Heloshia has two modern spacedock facilities at your disposal. The Dorvan Interplanetary Spaceport and Pherinox World Express Spacedock. Which are you interested in today?”

“Please direct me to the Dorvan spaceport.” Jacob had a feeling that the Express spaceport would only have short-range spacecraft and nothing that could get him very far off-planet. The computer displayed a city map and the direction to the spaceport.

“Let’s hope I can find a ship and get out of here.”

“Unrecognized query. Please try again.”

“What?” Jacob asked, bewildered. Then he rubbed his forehead and let out a long sigh. It seemed that in his month alone, he had begun talking to himself. The computer was only attempting to respond to him.

“Unrecognized query. Please try again.”

“No, no. I’m fine. We’re done.”

“Unrecognized query. Please try again.”

“Computer, end program.”

“Unrecognized query. This terminal is only capable of providing location and traffic information. Please submit a new query.”

“Stop!” Jacob demanded.

“This terminal is only capable of providing location and traffic information. Please submit a new query.”

“Fine, I’m leaving!”

“-only capable of providing location and traffic information- only capable of providing location and traffic information.”

“No, I’m not talking to you.” Jacob threw his hands in the air and walked across the street. As was common in urban areas like this, there was yet another terminal on the other side of the road. As he approached, it sprang to life, emitting an all-too-familiar mantra.

“-only capable of providing location and traffic information- only capable of providing location and traffic information.”

Frustrated, Jacob shouted, “What do you want?”

“Please submit a new query. Only capable of providing location and traffic information.”

Then a thought struck him. “Computer, direct me to a terminal capable of answering advanced queries.”

Jacob entered a marble building filled with massive stone pillars. Each pillar was engraved with a symbol he recognized but couldn’t read.

“House, woman, life, water closet, guy standing on his head eating an apple.”

His instructor groaned. “No, no, none of those are right.”

“Are you sure? That really looks like a guy standing on his head eating an apple.”

“Is this a joke to you?” she asked.

“Of course it is. How do you expect me to learn a new language in a week?”

“It’s mostly memorization. I don’t expect you to speak it, but it’s important to recognize as many symbols as you can. There’s only 1500.”

Jacob scoffed. “Only 1500?”

“Would you rather go back to your cell?”

“No,” Jacob said, deflated.

“Good. Again,” she ordered.

All that effort, and Jacob still couldn’t make heads or tails of the pictographic script.

“Oh, look,” he said. “A guy standing on his head eating an apple.”

At the far end of the atrium, he came to a T intersection of poorly lit hallways. “Where to now?” he wondered, looking around. Jacob noticed a blinking light over a door to the left and, lacking any better idea, went to investigate. The hallway was filled with offices. Each office had a name and title written in gold leaf lettering on its door. Most of this writing was in the universal language of trade and government, but there was always more of the strange angular script that had appeared on the stone pillars in the atrium.

“Bird with two beaks, house on fire, smelly sandwich….” Jacob continued down the hall, interpreting the foreign language as best he could, which was a waste of time but entertaining.

Each office had been ransacked, papers lay all over the place, computer terminals were in disarray, and small pinkie-sized canisters littered the floor. A thick layer of dust covered the mess.

Jacob arrived at the end of the hall. He found a military-grade security door made of dull gray metal. A plaque mounted in the center of the door read Valan Estirban, Prime Minister of the peoples of Pherinox, followed by symbols Jacob interpreted as big penguin, bad haircut, plane with one wing, woman in an upside-down skirt. It sounded like an insult to Jacob.

“Of course, the door is locked.” Once again, he kicked himself for not having the proper tools. “Damn that security officer. You won’t need it,” Jacob said mockingly.

He considered time-consuming and dangerous alternatives when a buzzing, humming sound emanated from the door, followed closely by a loud click. The door unlocked and drifted open by just the smallest of margins, a light illuminating the crack.

“That’s not ominous. Not ominous at all.” Jacob opened the door and stepped inside to find an immaculate office. Whoever had trashed the other offices must not have been able to get past the security door. Beautiful leather chairs, now cracked with age, along with a desk made from what must have been expensive wood adorned the room. Unlike the rest of the building, this office was well lit. A computer terminal sat on the right side of the desk. Jacob eased into the comfortable leather chair and inspected the computer terminal. A large green circle was flashing on its display

Words echoed through Jacob’s mind as he considered the green button.

“...and for God’s sake, don’t touch anything on that planet,” Dr. Janet Mason had said, busily injecting Jacob with toxin reducers and immune system enhancers. “We have no idea who’s been down there in the fifty years since the evacuation. There could be all manner of booby traps, land mines, or robotic sentries. And that’s just the stuff we could have put down there. The Vird might have landed some troops during their occupation.”

Jacob shrugged. “The intelligence guys say it’s been abandoned since its evac.”

“And since when are you a fan of military intelligence?”

Jacob sighed. “They have been known to be remarkably accurate at times.”

He shared a knowing glance with the doctor, who nodded. “Anyway,” he continued, “supposedly, the Parasations took that system from the Vird after we left. Parasations don’t live in an oxygen atmosphere, so if you believe the intelligence, they didn’t set up a permanent base.”

Dr. Mason frowned and injected him again, this time with an extended-release vitamin supplement. “Just be careful. That’s all I’m saying. I won’t be around to put you back together this time.”

“That won’t happen again. I’ll be careful,” Jacob reassured her, “Then this will be all over, and I can go home.”

Staring at the green button, Jacob contemplated the idea of home. He had been patient. He had waited thirty days when the mission was supposed to only last ten. If he continued to rationing his food, he had another week or two. Risks were necessary at this point.

Jacob’s hand inched toward the screen and hovered over the flashing green circle. “Sorry, Jan,” he said and pushed the button. He almost immediately regretted his action. The screen went black. There was a click followed by a thunk, almost like that of an airlock opening. Plumes of shiny gray smoke flowed into the room. Startled, Jacob tumbled back in the office chair, smacking his head on the wall behind him. He cursed.

A gentle voice emanated from the mist. “Greetings. I didn’t wish to startle you.” Jacob could only see a blurry humanoid form. Either the cloud was obscuring his view, or the blow to the head had blurred his vision.

Jacob rubbed the back of his head and attempted to stand. “It’s okay. Who are you, and what are you doing here?”

One side of the room was filled with mist, but his impact-addled vision was clearing. Before him stood an olive-skinned woman with dark, upswept hair and light gray eyes, she had a delicate, ageless face and a slight build hidden under a long flowing robe. Behind her, the far wall was missing, and a dark room lay beyond.

The woman smiled broadly. “I live here. This is my world. A better question is, what are you doing here?”

“How is that even possible? This planet is dead.”

The woman frowned. “I am in no danger from the toxins of this world.”

“How did you survive all this time? Are there more of you? Do you have food?” Desperation leaked into Jacob’s voice.

The broad smile returned. “I’m sorry, the imaging system is quite convincing.” The woman moved her hand in an arcing motion, and the mist became significantly less dense. At the same time, her image lost its sharp edge and became ghostly. Jacob could see the bookshelf on the far wall through her now translucent body.

“I am the central control system for archival and retrieval of all knowledge on Pherinox. I maintain real-time indexes on trillions of discrete subjects and contain a copy of the entire galactic coalition’s historical archive. Yet, given all my vast knowledge, I still do not know who you are.”

“Field Agent Jacob Zachary.” He said, addressing the AI self-consciously. Artificial intelligence was illegal in the Union and, to Jacob’s recollection, had been for quite a while.

“Greetings, Field Agent.”

“Please, Jacob is fine.”

“Then greetings, Jacob. I am the Librarian. What are you doing here?”

Jacob hesitated. His mission was not supposed to be common knowledge. “I’m on a search and retrieval mission. I didn’t find anything, and I missed my rendezvous. I’m looking for a way off-world before my meds run out.”

“Ah, I understand,” the Librarian nodded. “You were smart to come to Helosia. There are many abandoned vehicles you might choose from.”

“Yeah, they’re all locked.” Jacob had a plan in mind, but it would exhaust him, which was dangerous right now.

“Pherinox abides by standard trade council policies regarding salvage. The one hundred and fifty years since the abandonment of Pherinox is well beyond the minimum necessary to claim any salvage you like.”

“Well, as long as it’s legal,” Jacob said with a smirk. He was not in the least bit interested in Union trade by-laws. “Still, I need a key or passphrase.”

“I can provide you with the location of a ship and an activation passphrase.”

Jacob was ecstatic. “Fantastic. I need to leave as soon as possible. Where is it?”

The woman frowned, and her eyes looked somber. It was so real that Jacob had a hard time believing that this was a simulation and not a real woman. “There is one small condition in exchange for the activation key.”

“What could you possibly want? Oh,” he said, coming to the only logical conclusion. “You want off-planet too.”

“Yes,” she said. “I want you to take me with you. I want to leave this lonely place.

---

If you like what you've read today please consider supporting me by purchasing a copy of the book. It's available from all major e-book sellers Available Now! — CHROMASPACE or directly from my store STORE — CHROMASPACE.

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kyaramaya · 2 years

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accidentally stumbled on coke tumblr due to suggested media and went down the rabbit hole. Watched a girl do 3 lines in a row, people posting INSANE amounts and advertising. I think the most off-putting part was the fact that a lot of these posts are from aesthetic blogs with a total Lana vibe, with tags like #female manipulator and #coquette.

I don't know who needs to hear this but if you want to create a soft sad girl image that'll last, try some Jane Austen and thrifting and Chase Petra and walks at the river at night. Coke or xans or diet pills or k or weed will NOT give soft girl vibes. Also how do you do xans for fun I need a xan to be normal and not an anxious wreck I'd appreciate an explanation of how it feels recreationally actually lol

#maya screams into the void #i just didnt realize coke tumblr was a thing #and not harshing on anyone with an addiction but i hope u heal from what hurts u and dont have to use drugs to cope #using it to cope isnt good i know #but things get better!

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astranva · 2 years

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hey so i have the rest of this and i was explaining it here but then tumblr got rid of all of it😭 so im explaining it again but less detail this

anyways, so basically one day when juniper is on her way home, the police call her and tell her to come to the station cause they need to talk to her.

the detectives tell her why her & nick are suspects and she doesn’t believe a piece of evidence (havent decided yet) that leads exactly to nick and they eventually let her go and she goes home and goes through nicks study (bad idea ik) and realizes the detectives are right so she drives back to the station but the detectives she was talking to are gone bc they went to investigate a new murder (that nick comitted).

juniper debates between staying and waiting or going home but eventually decides to go home bc nick is going to get home soon.

when she gets home she sees nicks car in the driveway and has a mini mental breakdown bc she remembers that she left almost everything in his office out and forgot to lock it (i swear this girl isnt an idiot shes just in shock)

she goes inside and everything seems normal, like creepily normal. nick is cooking dinner while listening to music from the record player and the tv is running quietly in the background and juniper’s freaked out but also comforted by it. she acts like everything is okay and he for the most part believes it, thinking she just had an off day (he only suspects sum bc hes her literal husband but she’s actually good at acting like shes fine bc im sick of characters shittily pretending theyre fine when you can clearly see they arent but she is actually believable)

she goes to the bathroom and on her way she sees nicks study door is closed and locked (neither of which she did when she left). she’s creeped out but ignores it as she eats dinner with nick and once she finishes she gets a massive migrane, so she goes to the kitchen to grab water but it suddenly gets harder to move. nick comes over and asks whats wrong acting like he wasnt the one who drugged her.

she faints blah blah blah. then she wakes up in their bedroom and nicks there and she yells at him and tries to leave but this idiot is trapping her inside (love that/j) so she runs into the bathroom to get away from him and hes trying to defend himself (bro ur literally a murderer give up) but its not working bc juniper isnt an idiot

one thing i forgot to mention is that juniper is on medication to help with her mental health and one of the ones she takes is anti-psychotics bc she has bipolar (bc of trauma) and she used to take them at night but she doesnt anymore bc they gave her nightmares so she stopped taking them and instead took melatonin that looked exactly like the anti-psychotics and nick was putting anti-psychotics in her pill thing for certain nights bc thats when he would go murder (how fun!) but he didnt want her to suspect anything so we switched her meds to induce a nightmare so juniper would wake up and he would comfort her and he would do it pretty often so that she would think he was always home at night (when he rlly wasnt)

but one night she wakes up bc she accidentally took the wrong days pills and sees nick leaving, she thinks hes just going to the store bc it isnt that late and they do like to go to the store at midnight lmao. she asks him the next morning she asks him and he confirms he was at the store.

this is so long im so so so so sorry but theres only a little more

so nick basically kidnaps her to home (is that still kidnapping bc she doesnt wanna be there??) but she ends up figuring out a way to get out and she thinks nick doesnt have a clue but of course he does bc nick is smart (they both are oxford graduates so obvs theyre smart) and murders juniper the day before she was supposed to escape. but he doesnt brutally murder her, he cars abt juniper too much and just like either drugs her so she ODs or he suffocates her (i can’t decide lmao) but it was an idiotic idea bc he got arrested like 3 days later. but i have an alt storyline where he doesnt get arrested and gets away with it but idk lmao im so so so so so sorry this is so long and so shitty

my jaw. is. on. the floor.

i pictured this perfectly in my head and andrew garfield as nick is just???? so perfect?????

please consider screenwriting! no, you don’t get it, i’m obsessed with this! like i’m pretty sure i’ll be facetiming my best friend tonight and going “guess what an anon sent me???” and we’d both obsess over it.

i love it!

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Corpse’s Girl

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Derogatory Terms

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: Y/N’s life as a regular college student is forever stripped away from her when her relationship with the famous YouTuber Corpse Husband is accidentally revealed during an online class of hers. How will she cope with the sudden spotlight and the unwanted attention, some of which crosses into bullying?

Requested by my amazing Tumblr friend @itsminniekat 🥰 She’s been reading and liking my works since day one and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. If you’re reading this, all I can say is thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sticking by my blog even when I posted some crappy fics. I’ll make sure this ain’t one of them. Love you with all my heart. ❤❤❤

P.S. - I named the mean character with my name so I hope no one who reads this has the same name. Wouldn’t want any of you feeling like the villain 😘

Who knew online class would be even more boring than being physically present for a lecture? Seriously, I find myself doing the weirdest of crap to entertain myself - like trying to balance a pen on the tip of my nose for example. I jot down some notes every now and then but that’s basically it. My mind can not fathom the concept on concentrating on whatever my professors are going on and on about. Well, full disclosure, I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to, especially with my boyfriend streaming in the other room.

He’s currently playing Among Us with his usual gaming squad. Listening to his input during the discussions, I can always tell when he’s lying. I honestly find it hilarious that his friends can’t pick up when he’s bullshitting them. I sometimes wonder if he has brainwashed them. And that’s one of the main reasons we don’t play Among Us together - he can’t lie to me. Not only do I pick up on his con with ease, but he always says he feels bad when he lies to me which is just the sweetest thing. Also, I refuse to play cause I’m shy. His friends are all well-known content creators and I’m a literal nobody. Every now and then I find myself wondering why Corpse is even with me. He’s always quick to push those thoughts out of my head and make sure they don’t return on a long notice, but they do interrupt my peace from time to time.

“Y/N, do you know?“ The sound of my professor saying my name takes me out of my eavesdropping of Corpse’s stream.

I panic, but quickly improvise, “Sorry, my internet is slow, you cut out for a second. What was the question?” I feel my face heating up, making me glad we are allowed to keep our cameras off.

“Question number 15 on page 82 in your textbook. Do you know the answer to it?“ My professor repeats himself, his tone annoyed.

I look down at the page that’s already opened in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the question is rather easy.

“Yeah, um, it’s...“ Suddenly, Corpse’s laugh reaches my room loud and clear. There’s no doubt my mic picked up the noise, especially since the door to my room is open.

The color drains from my face as I hurry to say the answer and remute myself. My eyes are wide as I stare at my screen, hoping no one will acknowledge that very recognizable laugh.

“OMG Y/N, are you watching a Corpse Husband stream in class?” One of the bitches in my class, Vy, speaks up, “Not a very goody-two-shoe move on your part, dear.”

I purposely unmute my mic to mumble a quick ‘Shut up, bitch’ that somehow manages to fly under my professor’s radar and the class continues. It’s the first time something like this has happened and I’m not sure if I handled it properly or not.

The class ends shortly after, allowing me a sigh of relief as I disconnect from the meeting.

“Fucking finally.“ I mumble to myself, leaning back in my desk chair. Tilting my head backwards, I see Corpse standing in the doorframe. I grin, not only because his presence itself makes me ten times happier, but also because he’s upside down from my viewpoint. “Well, hello there! How long have you been spying on me?“

He struts over to me, leaning his face over mine, “Long enough.” His lips linger above mine without any actual contact before he pulls away, allowing me to sit up straight and proper in the chair. “You still have classes?”

I nod my head while disappointedly rolling my eyes, “Yeah. One more. Shouldn’t be too bad since it’s English Lit. You’re done streaming?”

“Yeah, I just have some other things to do. I haven’t done a narration video in a while, I miss making that type of content.“ He plops down on my bed, running a hand through his messy black curls.

“Weren’t you recording some lines a few days ago?“ I frown as I try to recall if what I’m referring to actually happened or my brain is too fried to decipher reality from my bootleg perception of it. Online class, man - messes with your head like sleeping pills - makes you disoriented and exhausted with barely doing anything other than trying to wrap your brain around a lecture or two.

He hums affirmatively, “It’s not a finished project and I don’t even know if I’ll use those or rerecord them. I’ll have to listen to them again before I make a final decision.“

I tilt his chin upwards with my pointer finger, a gesture he has told me he finds very endearing, “I’m sure they’re great and you just refuse to be satisfied. Everything you do is great.“

He smiles a small, shy smile, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrist, holding my hand in place, “You’re biased. You like me too much to tell me when I do some bullshit.”

I scoff, “You know that isn’t true. If someone’s gonna kick your butt in formation, it’s gonna be me.“ I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away from him, “Go on, now. I have a class to attend. You distract me enough while you’re in the other room, I can only imagine how hard it’d be for me to focus if you were right by my side.“

He smirks, bowing a little as he makes his way out of the room, “You flatter me.”

I playfully roll my eyes, getting my headset back on as I tap the last class for the day. We have an assignment due to the start of the class which we’ll have to present if the professor approved of it. We basically had to write a psychoanalysis of a character from any book of our choice. I chose Heathcliff from ‘Wuthering Heights’ which is one of my favorite books of all time. I’m proud of what I wrote and the way I wrote it, but I’ve always barely scraped by with a B in this class, a B+ if I’m lucky, so I’ve never gotten any major credit, even when I put my 110% in the assignments and projects.

Well, color me surprised when the professor calls on me first to read my work, complimenting it on its detailed and specific nature. I get my printed assignment out in front of me and unmute myself.

“I wrote a psychoanalysis on for Heathcliff, a character from Emily Bronte’s novel ‘Wuthering Heights’.“ Just after I say this line, Corpse’s voice booms throughout the whole apartment, no doubt being picked up by my mic. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually talking, he can’t be that loud. I put two and two together when I recognize the lines he’s saying - the ones he recorded a few days ago. They’re coming from his computer speakers. He probably didn’t check the volume before playing back the recording.

I mute myself as quickly as possible, but it’s too late. The voice dies down as Corpse probably turned down the speakers.

My professor, who is already done with this lecture, just annoyedly remarks, her words overdosed with sarcasm: “Read your assignment and you can go back to whatever it is you are watching.”

“Wow, Y/N! Again?! Are you one of those crazy obsessed fans or something? Is Corpse Husband all you watch?“ This bitch is really poking a stick at me, huh? The only crazy obsessed fan here is her, and my friends but they are allowed. Little do all of them know, I am obsessed but not simply over a YouTuber. I’m obsessed with my boyfriend who just happens to be a YouTuber.

“No commentary, please.“ The professor scolds her, “Go on, Y/N.“

I finish reading without any other disturbances. The professor compliments my essay again when I’m done, the small incident at the beginning forgotten already. Well, not by everyone. One of my friends shot me a quick text to joke about it which only earned an eye roll from me.

My friends don’t know that I’m dating Corpse either. As I said, they are simping HARD over him while I act the most indifferent on the subject. Whenever they ask my opinion on him I either say ‘he’s OK’ or just avoid answering completely. I know saying anything more enthusiastic than that would turn into a snowball rolling down a snowy hill - I’d just keep babbling about how nice, amazing, wonderful and a gift to this world Corpse is, inevitably revealing our relationship in the process.

I’m afraid of revealing my relationship with Corpse in front of these people. They are all run on jealousy and selfishness and I can only imagine how mean they’d be about it. I’m already not too fond of them, it would only be worse if any of my personal life was exposed.

When the class finally ends I remove my headset, putting my forehead down on the desk, barely missing the keyboard. I groan in frustration and anger at myself for not fighting back. I could’ve and should’ve said something - ANYTHING. But what? That’s a question I can’t find the answer to.

“Hey...“ Corpse’s hesitant voice comes from behind me, “You ok?“

I straighten my posture, turning to him with a smile. “Yeah, but these people suck.”

I get up from my chair as he approaches me, basically falling in his arms. The comfort I feel radiating off of him makes me relax, forget the past hour or so. He has always had this effect on me. Like my own personal kryptonite to my anger and anxiety.

“Did I get you in any trouble because of that?“ His voice shows clear concern and guilt.

I wrap my arms around him tighter, burying my head in his chest. “No, don’t worry about it.“

And I really wasn’t in trouble. Not until now that the video is officially posted....

I can call these people dumb all I want but they sure put two and two together awfully fast. They recognized the lines they heard during class as the same ones from his new video that came out almost a week after the incident, aka two days ago. It’s safe to say I haven’t touched my phone or computer since.

“This is all my fault.“

Of all the horrible things I suspected would happen this has to be the worst - Corpse is blaming himself for it. I am prepared to take all the shit these people have to throw at me but seeing Corpse beating himself up over this is killing me. No amount of convincing can change his mind. Nothing I say helps.

“Please, stop doing this to yourself. Non of this is your fault, Corpse.“ I’ve repeated this sentence more than a thousand time these past forty eight hours, each time saying it more and more desperately.

“All of it is my fault, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I hate myself so much.“ Has been his reply single time.

I can’t watch him be so mean to himself. It’s the most conflicting thing when the person you love most is torturing themselves. It’s easy if it’s someone else doing it, you just kick their ass. But what are you supposed to do when the person you want to protect is the same one you need to protect them from.

Corpse has shut himself away in his recording room these past few hours and though he clearly needs to be alone, he still left the door open just a crack cause he knows I’ll be worried sick otherwise.

While I’m alone in the living room, I’ve finally managed to brace myself and build enough courage to power up my laptop. Last time it was on it was going mad with notifications.

“It’s digital. Only digital. It can’t hurt you too badly if it can’t touch you, right?“ I mumble to myself, already frustrated despite not having yet seen all the horrors that await me.

And horrors there were. Everywhere. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook.

My grades. Some pictures of me no one has ever seen. My school files. People from my class tweeting Corpse to ‘expose’ me for the ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ I really am. Corpse hasn’t touched social media either and I plan on making sure it stays that way. God only knows how much worse he’ll get if he sees these claims.

And then, like a notification sent straight from hell, an email from my professor.

Practical lectures on Friday. Be here at 9 AM. Don’t forget your mask and gloves.

Good thing I opened my laptop when I did. Friday is tomorrow and I need to prepare for this day. Not only do I need to hit the books but I need to toughen up a bit. I can’t go there looking like I feel - like a mess.

Alright, time to put the brave face on. No more wallowing in it, at least not until tomorrow afternoon.

I make a study plan and hop in the shower. I feel the need to apologize to my hair for washing it so roughly, basically yanking at my strands from frustration that has been suppressed for too long.

I get our of the boiling hot shower, red as a lobster, and change into some clean comfortable clothes and put my ass in study mode. I remove all the scary expectations of the morning to come from my mind and let the information the textbooks has to offer seep into my brain.

* * *

I’m about to head out and, despite my put-together composure, I am a wreck inside. I actually put effort into my appearance, I mean - I even styled my hair. A pretty façade to hide a ruin.

I saw my friends’ texts last night, all three of them ending their friendship with me because they felt betrayed. I haven’t yet decided how to feel about that. Doesn’t matter at the moment, there are more important matters at hand, aka surviving the next three hours.

My college is within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. That ten minute walk has never been so stressful, not even during exam season. The air feels a little harder to breathe, the path a little shorter to walk. And my moment of reckoning a little too close.

I feel eyes on me the second I start walking through the park of our campus. Sure, I could just be paranoid, but the feeling is too real to be just my imagination in overdrive. I’m glad I have my hair down and a mask on so the redness of my cheeks and neck isn’t on display. That’s a sign of weakness right now.

We have two an hour and a half long classes between which we have a snack break that’s half an hour. I usually enjoy that period but I’m dreading it now. These assholes can only be so mean in the presence of a professor, but during lunch break they can increase that tenfold.

“Well if it isn’t Corpse’s girl.“ I hear that a lot. The whispers are not so much whispers as intentionally loud enough for me to hear remarks. I’m not bothered by them, it’s the least they can do. If I let such a simple thing get to me, I’d be crumbling by the end of first period.

I hear some shuffling behind me and out of the corner of my eye I see, yeah you guessed it, THAT bitch. She’s standing as close to me as she can without violating Covid regulations. A mask is covering her face but the menacing look in her eyes tells me all I need to know about the interaction that’s about to go down.

“I’d ask how much he pays you for the hour.....“ her long nails tap the wooden desk, “but that’d be rude. I bet it’s tough being a maid. Do you just clean or are you a multipurpose lap dog? No offense, I’m genuinely curious.“

“Vy, would you be so kind as to give Y/N some room to breathe?“ The professor asks as he nonchalantly walks in.

Vy rolls her eyes, batting her eyelashes at me, “Talk to you later, sweetheart.” With a fake friendly wave she’s out of my hair, at least for now.

Remember what I said about these people not being as dumb as I pegged them to be? Yeah, scratch that. These fuckers actually tried getting away with taking pictures of me with flash in broad daylight. Like, HELLO! I have two functioning eyes and a brain, I’m onto you. Sadly, me having figured out their childish but hurtful methods of humiliating me doesn’t change much. They still posted the pics they took, using the most derogatory terms they could find in the English language, always making sure to tag Corpse and me both.

Needless to say, these were the longest three hours of my life.

* * *

Shutting the door to our apartment behind me causes relief of the highest levels. I feel like I’ve locked out all the bad shit I have had to deal with these past twenty four hours.

I’m tired. I’m fucking exhausted. I feel like a discarded piece of paper.

And it all starts crumbling. A wall is bound to start slowly falling apart after being hit over and over again, each time feeling the blows with a stronger intensity.

I slide down the door sitting down on the floor and slowly taking my shoes off. I put my bag beside me and wrap my arms around my knees, hiding my head in the space between them and my chest.

One tear slides down my cheek.

Another follows.

And another, this time accompanied by a choked sob.

A pair of arms wraps around the ball that my body has been shaped into. One of his hands comes up to stroke my hair gently, feeding me the comfort I have been longing for since I left the apartment this morning.

“I saw it. All of it. All the shit they talk about you. All the names they call you. And I’ve never wanted to beat so many people up simultaneously.“ His words make me raise my head from its low position, giving him a knowing look. “I wish I could. I would, but that would land me in jail. Which doesn’t even sound so bad cause I don’t like going out. Only problem is you wouldn’t be with me. I wouldn’t want you to be there with me, don’t get me wrong, I’d never want you to end up in jail. I-...” I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. A quick kiss that says so much but mainly shows the immeasurable gratitude for his support.

Seeing those awful tweets and comments had the complete opposite effect on him. He no longer blames himself but the people who actually deserve the blame - all those jerks from my college.

I pull away, giving him a small smile. “I would never let you go to jail.”

He smiles back at me, overjoyed that my mood is slowly being lifted, “Come on, I have a nice crowd that would like to meet you.”

I know exactly what he means. Felix, Sean, Rae, Dave, Sykkuno and the rest of his friends. The people I’ve been so shy and afraid to meet since day one. Being shy doesn’t really make sense now, seeing as how they know I exist and that I’m a part of Corpse’s life.

What do I have to lose?

“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.“ Corpse’s black avatar runs around my cyan one in the Among Us lobby.

I can’t help but giggle when I unmute my mic, “Hi everyone! It’s so nice to finally meet you.“ They each introduce themselves, expressing how happy they are to be meeting me too.

It’s the first time in what feels like a while that I’m truly having fun. These people are wonderful, each so unique and lovely. They never brought up the scandal nor acted as though they knew about it. I know they did and I am beyond grateful that they never mentioned it or treated me any differently because of it. Also, Corpse was streaming the whole time. I had my phone on his stream, my eyes nervously scanning the chat every now and then. I couldn’t believe it. Corpse’s real fans were just as wonderful as his friends - they were nothing but supportive and happy to have met me.

Now, I can either choose to believe these people were being so nice to me out of sympathy or I can believe they really like me and appreciate me for who I am and not for what happened to me.

I choose to believe the latter.

And while I’m still getting accustomed to this whole new spotlight, I know I’ll be able to handle it as long as I’m holding Corpse’s hand in the process. All I need is to have him beside me and I’m prepared to tackle anything.

“They love you.“ Corpse tells me once the stream is done and we’ve hopped out of the Discord call, “But I love you more.“

His arms wrap around my waist while mine instinctively find their way around his neck, “I love them, too. But they’re at the number 2 spot.”

He smirks at me, “I wonder who’s at number 1.”

I push up on my toes, putting my lips an inch away from his, “Hmm, I wonder...”

He doesn’t let me finish, silencing my teasing with a sweet, loving kiss.

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