#humans fuck yeah
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I think a lot of the "humans are space orcs" stuff really underestimates or misunderstands evolution.
Like yes, there are going to be differences between different organisms and stuff and some will have abilities or tolerances that others don't but... generally speaking nothing about us would be a shock to a spacefaring species.
Any planet that develops life, especially if it has reason to evolve into something smart enough to make a spaceship, is going to have competition over resources and stuff. It's going to have some environmental shit going on probably too.
So it would be more like "oh neat, your species is way better at X than us. We can Y better than you though" rather than "WHAT? Your people can WALK REALLY FAR??!?!!!?!?" which is what a lot of these posts kinda sound like.
Not that there wouldn't be surprises - of course there would be - but they would understand evolution and have lots of different critters on their own world to look to for examples. "Oh, you use use specialized cells to detect wavelengths of energy between certain ranges and you call that 'the visible spectrum'? Neat, yeah, we have tools that can do that and there's a type of flying creature on our world that does that." and we'd be all "Oh cool you can detect electrical fields and use that to communicate and detect each other? Yeah, we have some animals that do that to some extent though it seems like you're way better at it. Very cool, we can probably work together to convert light to electrical signals and vice versa so we can communicate."
The social/cultural stuff, general ways they think, etc. would be the part where everything would be totally alien.
#humans are space orcs#humans are weird#humans are space oddities#humans are deathworlders#humans are space australians#humans fuck yeah
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A world where humans are considered similar to Analogue Horror creatures
It's just an idea that popped into my head when I was having another binge watch of analogue horrors. It can work with a normal story, the Isekai (other world) genre, or with Humans Fuck Yeah! stories, or maybe more.
Aw man, imagining an alien freaking out and recording a human in a analogue horror-esque style would both be so cool and extremely funny.
[If you see a Human in your vicinity, run away and hide.]
This is so ridiculous but it's an interesting idea, no?
#hfy#humans fuck yeah#humans are scary#analog horror#analogue horror#writing prompt#story prompt#story ideas#writing ideas#horror#horror ideas
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The Three Rules
In the modern galactic political climate there exists three rules that all abide by. The Rules of Governance, Commerce and Conquest.
The Rule of Governance dictates that for a Stellar Nation to exist, its people, and by extension its colonies and stations, must be governed by a single governing body. There are exceptions to this rule in the form of secessionist movements, but these span entire planets and sectors of space and for the most part collapse into multi front wars needing intergalactic interventions to restore order. To date there have been only fifty one stellar nations that have successfully succeeded and went on to form their own operational governments. In a galaxy of a few thousand stellar nations with dozens more joining every decade this shows just how rare these events are.
The Rule of Commerce dictates that before any stellar nation attempts to enter the galactic market it first must be self sufficient. Again there are exceptions to this rule as many stellar nations often lack the actual resources to be fully self sufficient and thus are allowed allowances to perchance nessisary goods and resources needed for their operation. This has resulted in wars and conflicts to be reduced by 65.7% since the last galactic meeting nearly twenty cycles ago.
The Rule of Conquest states that stellar nations partaking in armed conflict with one anaother shall not engage in warfare with a defending stellar nations of a military strength less than half of the aggressor. Failure to adhere to this results in embargos, increased trade taxes and unless the conflict is ended, military intervention. If, however, the attacking stellar nation has half of the military strength of the defender, these protections and restrictions do not apply. This policy alone has stopped nearly 80.7% of wars of aggression since its implementation one-hundred and thirty-seven cycles ago.
The humans, to no one’s surprise, follow none of these rules as their “Governing Body”, the United Nations Representative Government is more fractured than that of a planet orbiting a black hole, their “Countries” colonies and stations rely on each other for goods and resources with some traveling several light-years before reaching their end destination and they often show no regard in who or what they fight with their very extensive military.
Best advice? The next galactic meeting establish new rules solely for the humans to adhere by.
#humans are awesome#Humans fuck yeah#earth is a deathworld#HUMANS ARE WEIRD#earth is awesome#EARTH IS SPACE AUSTRALIA#humans are space orcs
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Apparently due to a very unfortunate set of circumstances, Admiral Stabby was promoted to High Emperor Stabby. The Siluens do not acknowledge this, but humans now bow down to the High Emperor and have begun to refer to Him as Your Highness and Your Majesty.
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council member from COTD
A High Kelquix member of the Inter-Galactic Empire council of nations
#humans are space orcs#alien x human#gay aliens#humans fuck yeah#webcomic#art#illustration#character design#artwork
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HFY stories where humans are deathworlders or kinda insane or just really good at war are exciting, but I think my favorite stories are the ones where humans just wanna be friends and help people
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Sight Guide Masterlist
Tags: "Asha Zienend-Saga (OC)" Anything about Asha "Rari'a Ne'o'ria Fanrei (OC)" Anything about Fanrei "hfy Sight Guide" Anything about the story
Okay so I've got a vague idea of where I'm going with this but bear with me. Is there a tag I can use for, like, not monsterfucking but alienfucking? Is that a thing? Also ten points to whoever realises what Asha's surname means.
Please tell me if you wanna be on the taglist! (Also please specify if you wanna be on the taglist for Sight Guide or for HFY writing in general as they're different taglists)
Current
The beginning of the story takes place in space, some few hundred years in the future, where humans and various types of aliens co-exist. As for the details of this universe- You'd probably be better of scrolling through some of the tags on the bottom there than trying to understand.
The Beginning
Future
Nothing here yet!
Other
Asha's Picrew
Fanrei's Picrew
#hfy#aliens and humans#humans fuck yeah#humanity fuck yeah#humans are space capybaras#humans are space orcs#humans are weird#humans are space oddities#humans are space australians#humans are deathworlders#trans oc#oc#alien oc#science fiction#hfy Sight Guide
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do you ever get stuck by the thought that our species is SO FUCKING COOL?! i mean we create amazing art, we have all this technology and we learn to communicate with each other and have a ton of different languages
like if you don't think that's cool as fuck get the fuck off this rock. humans are SO fucking cool
#humans fuck yeah#it is pretty clear that i am drunk#but the point still stands#despite all of our issues#humans are cool
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youtube
#humans must hope they can persuade ai not to kill us#humans being humans#humans b gone#humans fuck yeah#Youtube
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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I just want to say I have absolutely 0 sympathy whatsoever for anyone complaining about anything homeless people do. oh you saw human shit on the ground?? hmm maybe it's because THEY DONT HAVE A TOILET. oh you saw someone cleaning themselves in a public restroom? maybe because THEY DONT HAVE A FUCKING SHOWER. oh no a homeless person is living in a tent and you think it's ugly?? CRY ABOUT IT IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE. oh my goodness homeless people sleeping on the ground and they're in your way!!!! yeah THEY DONT HAVE A BED
if seeing homeless people bothers you that much then good news! you have some choices! 1) let them all live with you in your house! 2) start pressuring your local government to stop criminalizing the homeless and start giving them financial and medical assistance! 3) shut the fuck up and die!
#the way people whove never been homeless view homelessness os disgusting#acquire some human compassion idiot#'but they are reportong am increase in crimes from the homeless!!!!' yeah 90% of that is trespassing because they dared to sit down#you can also get arrested for sleeping in your car in many places! or asking people for money so you dont statve to death!#so once again shut the fuck up and die!!
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Wrong Door…
@akanemnon a thing popped into my head and I am very impulsive. ❤️
#yeah I think it would be fucking hilarious if all humans could see ghost Chara.#it's in my au's world... but while theyre still in college haha#bread#deltarune chara timeline#twin runes#art#deltarune#my art#sketches#asriel#chara#boring tags are usually for me lmao#omg that one unfinished sketch comic monster and human cameo?? yes :)
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“Back off or I’ll bite.”
To be fair he had just gotten off of a shift and was ready to become one with his shitty mattress.
Danny thought he made himself pretty clear.
So you can’t blame him when some bobo the clown knock-off tried to start some shit while he was walking home and did not heed his advice.
A fun fact he learned a couple days later is that in an average human’s mouth there’s about 6 billion types of bacteria and several of those types are deadly if not treated properly at a hospital.
And Danny was very much not an average human.
Let’s just say he started to sweat bullets when he found a frontline article about the death of the clown prince.
Suddenly that feeling of someone watching him wasn’t being written off as paranoia.
#writing prompt#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#it’s mainly red hood#he’s just so happy#like all the ways joker could’ve gonen it was an untreated infection#Jason pointing at danny: this fuck is my hero#danny who was just a crabby minimum wage worker:????#you know#komodo dragons?#yeah#Danny is the equivalent of one#like that’s the first time he’s ever but a human#ghosts just heal themselves of that mess when they go home#he wasn’t aware that his bite did that until now
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Humans have the capability of perceiving when they're being stared at, even if they can't see it.
Dr. T'Chem was staring at Lieutenant /θkɡɾɑːˈŋæ/ (or as his current fling affectionately nicknamed her, "Tucker-Annie"), whose dorsal spikes were still rattling after the incident at the holodeck. It was his first time at the witness stand, and he didn't want to ruin a young star sailor's life.
Lieutenant Tucker-Annie was the combat specialist in charge of the training dojo of Federation Vessel TSN457, named after the Terra-Saturn-Ceres coalition where Dr. T'Chem currently served as the xenoanthropologist charged with facilitating human integration to the local Federation of Fraternal Planets and Satellites. The FFPS had the goal of finding planets with intelligent life to trade resources and technology, and due to their recent incorporation, local research vessels were fitted with diverse crews to acclimate everyone to each other's cultures and biological needs. Dr. T'Chem was the human expert in the ship, and was tasked with helping smooth over interpersonal relations among the crew.
The relations were, at that moment, as bumpy as Lt. Tucker-Annie's dorsal spike line.
An incident had occurred during a training exercise. The squad consisted of a Venusian, two Saturnians, three Ceresians, two monks from the Transcorporeal Temple of Robotic Ascension, and five Terrans (two humans, two dogs and a cybernetically enhanced cat). The exercise consisted of getting through a generic jungle scenario and, unbeknownst to the squad, avoiding a team of ninjas lead by Lt. Tucker-Annie trying to take them out one by one. It was supposed to test the way they would react to a surprise attack.
It was not supposed to reveal that humans could sense when they were being stalked.
Of course, any trained sailor would have an ingrained knowledge of potential threats and how to spot them. Look for the shadows that are too dark, listen for the spot air isn't blowing from, things like that. Basic things most people don't think about but that can be identified if you think about them.
This was not that.
"Something's watching us," said Crew Johnson, in that sloppy way only creatures with lips spoke.
"What do you mean? There's cameras everywhere, of course they're watching us," responded Crew Hessikh, slithering over the vines on a tree branch to cross a river. She grabbed the axe in Crew Johnson's belt with her telekinesis and took down a small tree to serve as a bridge.
"Crew Flufflepaws, could you please take a look?" Asked Crew Johnson, nervously looking around. Crew Flufflepaws got on the tree as well and scanned the terrain from above.
"I can't see anything, or smell anything. And my hearing isn't what it used to be. I'll stay on the lookout for—" a horrendous hiss interrupted the automatic translator's feed. Crew Flufflepaws' comm line cut off.
Hessikh and Johnson looked at each other. That was the strongest fighter of their team, gone. They knew it was a simulation, but it still gave them chills.
The rest of their crew mates were split into two different teams further along the path. Crew Fanning's voice came from the comm line.
"Johnson, Hessikh, are you okay? What happened to Flufflepaws?"
"We don't know, Johnson said something was watching us and it went to check, then we lost comms."
"I felt it too. I know this isn't that kind of exercise but I think— AAAHHH!"
Two blaster shots were heard, then a thud.
Lieutenant Tucker-Annie, who was watching Hessikh and Johnson from the mud pit behind the latter, had her tranquilizer dart ready. She got ready to shoot down Hessikh, but then heard a voice over the comm line.
"Code Lithium, we have a Code Lithium, we have to end the simulation, I just took down- I can't-" the breathing was sounding heavier and faster, too fast for a human.
"Fanning, calm down, remember your sutras. We need you focused, what happened?"
"I felt like I was being watched, so I turned around and saw this thing and it scared me and I jumped and I thought it was on stun mode and-"
"It's alright, we're calling it off. Captain, we have a Code Lithium! End the simulation now or- fuck, there it is again. Hessikh, do you see any heat sources?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary- why haven't they shot it down alre-"
The next thing Lieutenant Tucker-Annie remembered was the sound of a heel turn over the mud, followed by darkness.
Lt. Tucker-Annie woke up in the hospital bay, getting her tail regenerated by a robot nurse. She looked over and found her underling on the next bed, with a huge bandage on the side of his neck and a wing in a cast. Thankfully, he would be alright as soon as the stem cell bank was reprogrammed after her treatment.
The disciplinary board was called, an investigation was open, and both Crew Fanning and their captain were put on paid leave while the investigation was ongoing. Dr. T'Chem was called in as an expert after a review of the holodeck footage revealed there was no way Crew Fanning could have heard, seen or smelled the hidden sailor.
It was the first time in a while he hadn't helped himself to a glass of Venusian whiskey for breakfast. He really didn't want to mess this up.
"And would you care to explain how this is possible, Doctor?" Asked the prosecution, staring him down with an unnerving amount of eyes.
"I am as astounded as this court; our firm has been looking into Terran medical literature and we're still trying to figure out how it works; they don't even know, but they know it does happen, it's been documented for thousands of years. I have a hypothesis, but I don't know if it's even testable."
There was a murmur in the court. The judge asked him to elaborate.
"The way eyesight works is the light bounces off of opaque bodies and in its way it collides with the lenses in our corneas, which send it to the brain as electrical signals to be interpreted. The light that doesn't go into our eyes just bounces off our bodies and other opaque objects as well, the photons go everywhere and anywhere. This is the same for most species in this constellation, including humans. But even other Terran species don't have these abilities, as Crew Flufflepaws has testified."
A begrudging meow was heard from the audience.
"Order in the court, please. Dr. T'Chem, what do you suggest is the origin of this mysterious sense?"
The camera drones all hoovered around him. Dr. T'Chem straightened his fins and got close to the microphone.
"I believe it's possible that humans have a sense of touch so sensitive that they can feel the photons that don't bounce back. The ones that go into an eye instead of an opaque body. I think humans can actually feel in their skin when they are being watched."
There was an uproar in the crowd. His paramour, a dark skinned young human from the human settlement known as "Colombia", grabbed the religious symbol on her necklace and made a gesture with it he hadn't quite figured out yet.
The trial had to go on recess.
The implications were incalculable. Three dozen biologists from six different planets, including Terra, had emailed him before the end of the day to ask him to justify himself. Multiple human religious leaders took the chance to link it to demonic possession or moral evils. By the end of the week, four different labs were trying to figure out a way to double blind test shooting a photon cannon on a human's back and trying to get them to sense it.
But most importantly, the news made it outside of the Federation. The rumours about this new species that couldn't be stalked got so far, it ended up affecting the outcome of a border conflict with the Betelgeuse Libertarian Army on the Federation's favour.
Humans were terrifying.
If this is what they evolved to be, what was their planet like?
#Dr. T'Chem's Office#humans are space orcs#humanity fuck yeah#humans are space oddities#humans are deathworlders#open art guild
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Humans really like space wildlife
As Humanity integrates itself within the Galactic Coalition ever further, trade and travel between Sol and neighboring member systems is growing at exponential rates. In particular, their interest in the native wildlife of other planets is the most widely expanding sector for tourism and commerce.
Even though it is also the most heavily regulated and restricted one, Humans, who typically display a desire to subvert the normal procedures to expedite any process they can, for this they are surprisingly willing and eager to fill in all the necessary paperwork and spend hours upon days making sure they follow and adhere to all the requirements to import some of these creatures.
While such level of determination is not uncommon for new member species who discover a certain non-native creature or something that to the respective natives is commonplace but for them is the pinnacle of exotic, the variety of requests made by Humans is nearly as great as the entire list of known fauna species. And the reasons listed on the forms are even more diverse:
"That's a unicorn! I've always dreamed of having a unicorn and you're telling me there's a dozen subspecies?! Yes, please!!!"
"After reviewing their behavior, this bear-sized fluff-ball is the perfect cat I've always wanted, but couldn't because of allergies. I'll treat them with love and care, my life is incomplete without this fella."
"Tiny. Elephant-duck. Want."
"Our company was looking for a mascot, and these six-legged spindly beaver-crabs are perfect. Here's our mission statement and prepared accommodations for a flock."
"They all said I hallucinated the lizard sasquatch when I was on that acid trip, but now I'll show 'em. It's real. I knew it all along!"
"Aww, these baby puppies are so adorable (referring to the four meter, 800kg Fanged Widowmaker of Abyss Valley predator). My kids were looking through your alien picture books and instantly fell in love with these ones."
And so on. At first we had to reject quite a few, mainly because half of them were deadly beasts from Deathworlds that are almost impossible to capture in the first place. Then the Human officials informed us that, while they will try to stop it from happening, if we don't make importing and adopting even the most dangerous animals in the known Galaxy reasonably possible for them with Human help and expertise in the field, some Humans will set up illegal smuggling rings to "fill the market gap" as they said. Historically, they explained, that causes more problems and expenses than just handling it through official channels.
Reluctantly we were persuaded and have set up a new organization to quell this, apparently, unquenchable Human pack bonding condition. Even if said pet can kill them. We think, as horrible as it may be, that for some that is part of the appeal. Even the ones that breathe out literal poison.
"We'll wear a mask around them. This wendigo-like one is too cute to not get belly rubs."
Said the OFFICIAL Human Representative of a monstrosity that can only be described as the living incarnation of countless teeth, fangs, claws, vivid seizure inducing iridescent feathers, and a body that extends from a inconspicuous ambush pose to a fully 8 meter tall six limbed nightmare machine of Death!
#humans are space orcs#humanity fuck yeah#humans are deathworlders#humans are space australians#humans are space oddities#carionto#aliens are cute#pet the predator
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Ronik & SGT Sosa
Space besties.
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