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Pent Up Marriage (Arranged Marriage! Ayato x Reader)
Synopsis: You desperately want to make this marriage work, and after he cheated on you multiple times, you made the numbing decision on how to save it. It works! However, you’re now like a puppet to your husband, growing numb and emotionless. Ayato, on the other hand, seems to enjoy it.
Direct Quote: “Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye. He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."
TW: Non-con, Dub-con, Harsh s3x, Abus3, Groping, Somno, Forceful, Manipulation, Cheating
After another stressful day at work, you come home feeling stressed and tired. Your husband, Ayato, seems to be having another “overtime” at his office. You clean up, tidy up the house, do the laundry, cook dinner. Eventually, Ayato comes home, disheveled and upset, as usual.
“Hey.” He uttered, removing his shoes as he entered the apartment.
“You’re home.” You said, walking up to him and placing a small kiss on his cheek. Part of the routine. As you did so, you see a small red mark on his collar, lip stick. “Take your shirt off.” You simply say, unbuttoning his shirt.
Ayato looked confused and irritated as he looked down at you. “What?”
“I said, take your shirt off. You don’t want it to stain, do you? Red pigment is hard to wash off if it dries.” You say, blankly. You’ve gotten used to his cheating ways, and all you wanted to do was adapt to it.
Ayato rolled his eyes before harshly unbuttoning his shirt, tossing it to you. “There, whatever.” He uttered before heading to the bathroom to shower.
As you tossed the shirt in the washing machine, you were thinking of a way to stop him from his affairs. After all, if his and your family were to find out that he was looking for another person to fulfill his desires, you’d be in big trouble.
Whatever, you still had some work to do anyway, you should just think about it another time. Focus on your laptop and let your husband do…whatever, I guess?
Soon, it was deep into the night and you decide to head into your shared room. Or you would consider to be just Ayato’s room.
Ayato's room was neat and tidy, with only a few books scattered on the floor with the covers facing up. His bed was made with sharp creases and the sheets were tucked firmly around a big pillow. Atop his desk was a large PC setup, the lights softly illuminated the room, and in the far corner, a door leads to another room in the house, the bathroom.
Ayato was already under the covers, his arms folded underneath his head and his eyes closed tight. He didn't turn to look at you and stayed silent, pretending to be asleep.
You were still restless, as you let out a yawn as you get into your side of the bed, sitting up and leaning against the headrest. You spend a few minutes looking over and reviewing some files. Ayato pretended to stay asleep, but one of his eyes peaked open as if curious about what you were doing. The faint glow of your phone screen caught his attention as he moved his head slowly, peeking just a little bit more. Why would you still be awake?
Soon, you fell asleep. You shouldn’t have forced yourself to stay up so late. That’s what Ayato thought, that you were always killing yourself by working too hard for a job that you cared too much about. Ayato sighed, getting out of bed. He walked over to you, picking up the documents before covering you with a blanket and laying them down on the small table next to your bed.
He leaned down to your ear and whispered, "Good night."
He turned off the lights, then headed back to his room to do the same. The two of you slept soundly at opposite ends of the house, not bothering each other for the rest of the night.
Not for long though…
Suddenly, your phone rang, your stupid boss again. It was 5am! Why would he be-
“Hello?” You answered, why did you answer? Your eyes were squinting from being suddenly woken up, “Sir, I got the files back earlier, I’ll deliver it when I get to work later. …No, I can’t deliver them now, I just got back home…Thank you, goodnight.” You sighed, knowing it will be another heavy day.
Ayato woke up with a start, but kept quiet, listening to your end of the phone call. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed you were up. He remained silent for a moment, but eventually spoke up.
"Bad news, huh? Can't sleep?" he asked, looking towards you in the dim light of the room.
You were startled, and also a little guilty. “Shit, did I wake you up?”
"Yes, but don't worry about it." Ayato sat up and put his feet down on the floor. As the two of you sat on opposite sides of the bed, he spoke again.
"Does your boss never let you rest? Or maybe you're just bad at your job." He chuckled slightly, and you noticed a slight annoyance in his tone.
You hum a simple, “Mhmm.” as you rest your head onto your pillow.
"You were out all night and now your boss wants you to go to work? Is this the life of my wife? To be some company's dog you can just go around and do your boss's dirty work?" Ayato smirked and leaned back on his elbows, amused by his own sarcastic comment.
You didn’t know what to say, frankly, your mouth just spoke whatever your mind processed first. “…Oh..have I been neglecting you?”
Ayato let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, seeming a little irritated by your comment.
"We're in this marriage just because our parents wanted us to. We're not in love," he said, speaking bluntly.
"So it really doesn't matter if we neglect each other or not. Besides, this is a loveless marriage, and neither of us loves the other. That means we have no obligations to each other."
You nod. “…Do you feel neglected? Which…makes you cheat?”
He seemed to be annoyed, which caused him to ramble on and on. "Do I feel neglected? Pssh!" He paused for a moment before continuing. "You know what? Not really. I don't rely on you to fulfill my needs."
"And you're right, I have been seeing other people, but don't mistake them for being my lovers!”
You sighed, seeing he wasn’t answering the question. “So…are you? No judgement, really. It’s okay to admit that you’re…you know…needy.”
Ayato's eyes widened for a moment before he stared at you in shock.
"Needy? What are you getting at?" he asked, trying to hide his annoyance. "I guess so.... Yeah, I am. What now?"
“It’s just an observation, you know. You’ve been kissing me on the cheek, waiting for me to get home. It’s unusual for you to do that….” You say.
"Don't get the wrong idea," he scoffed, his voice becoming louder as he raised an eyebrow. "Just because it's an unusual night, does not mean I care for you." He hissed the words with such intensity. "It's just that...I felt like it, that's all. Get that into your head." He sighed again. His annoyance was starting to fade into a sadness, but his attitude remained rough and cold.
“…Thank you for telling me.” You sighed.
You thought for a minute…
He was needy… So he had affairs… Ah…now you know what to do.
“Hey…Ayato.” You sat up, meeting him eye to eye.
Ayato turned to look at you, his eyes still filled with annoyance and disappointment. "What do you want now? What else is there to talk about?”
You thought for a moment before saying, “You can always let your frustration out on me, you know?”
Ayato's face tightened. He looked as if he wanted to strangle you in a moment of rage. "You want me to let my frustration out on you? Just because we're in a loveless marriage, which makes you think that I get the right to abuse you?"
“Eh?” You look at him. “You don’t have to abuse me, you can just…release pent-up frustration.”
Ayato paused for a moment and lowered his voice, staring at you with slight confusion.
"You want me to hit you, or something?" Ayato scoffed, amused yet slightly confused at your suggestion.
“No..something like this.” You muttered before leaning in…
…and kissing him.
Ayato looked surprised as your lips touched his. For a second, he was caught off guard, but his lips soon parted, and he kissed you back passionately.
The taste of you was familiar, as one hand reached down as he kissed you, caressing your cheek, brushing your hair behind your ear; his other hand placed gently against your shoulder. He broke the kiss and sighed softly, looking down at you, his cheeks flushed.
“See? …Just like that.” You said, staring up at him blankly.
Ayato chuckled softly. "You really had me going for a second." He smirked and looked at you, shaking his head.
"Thanks." Ayato seemed to have calmed down, but he still looked tense and stiff, as he sighed again. "You were right. I may hate it, but I am needy. And you're the only person I can go to for it."
“Yeah, so…whenever you need it, just…tell me, you know. It doesn’t matter if you’re mad or frustrated or just needy, if you need to exert some kind of stress, just let it out on me.” You say, looking at him in the eye.
He stared at you, not knowing what to say, but…kinda turned on. “…"I'll keep that in mind, then. Just be prepared in case I get violent or something. I can be...brutal."
The next day, you get home from another hard day of work, working a little later than usual. You opened the door to your house and sighed. It seems that the day was longer than you thought. As you locked the door behind you, you realized that it had become much darker outside. A cold breeze came through your open jacket, and your arms quickly began to get goosebumps.
You quickly turn around. Ayato was standing there, right in behind you, with a deadpan expression on his face. His arms remained crossed the whole time, and you noticed a slight anger in his eyes.
He cleared his throat and stared at you directly, his tone still dry and annoyed. He took a deep breath and sighed.
"You're late." he said bluntly. "I've waited for you for hours, and yet you're...late. Did I give you permission to get home late?
You sighed, “Sorry, they made me do overtime.”
Ayato continued to look at you with a slightly annoyed look on his face. "I hope they gave you some decent compensation for making you work late."
He paused, "You'd better make up for that by coming right here and serving me the second you get home, you hear me?"
He raised his voice as he stepped closer to you.
"Do you understand, dear?" he muttered in a dry tone before looking away.
“Oh, I see what’s happening here.” you muttered before you leaned in and kissed him, placing your hand at the back of his neck.
He soon returned it. He placed a hand on the back of your neck as well, pulling you closer to him and gently guiding your body to the wall as you kissed. After a moment, he pulled back and looked at you, and you noticed his voice was softer than before.
"Good girl."
“You seemed to be frustrated… Bad day at work?” you said, looking up at him.
"You could say that..." The corners of his mouth turned up slightly into a dark smirk.
"So, why don't you go make me feel a little better?" This time, the sinister look was back on his face, and a twinkle of anger and resentment shone in his eyes. "I'm sure you can make up for being late and leaving me all by myself, can't you?"
You knew what you had to do, you leaned in to kiss him again, and he let you. Ayato soon grabbed you by the waist and led you to their bedroom, locking the door after he pushed you into it. Ayato smiled as his lips parted to break the kiss.
"You're good at making a man happy, you know? Keep up the good work." He chuckled darkly, as his gaze lingered on you for a moment.
“I promised you, didn’t I? You can take out your frustrations out on me.” You panted, out of breath from the kiss.
He smirked and nodded. He looked at you in a way that conveyed his expectations. As he stared at you, you could feel his impatience, and his desire for control. "You know what to do after that." Ayato watched you as you took off your blouse. He soon reached out and started caressing your chest, his fingers running across your skin as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.
His tone and expression were still serious and cold, but you noticed the slight signs of pleasure written on his face.
"More...I still don't feel satisfied."
You unzipped your bottoms as he continued to watch you. As your skirt fell to the floor, Ayato's eyes widened slightly and he smiled.
"Good girl." All of the anger was gone from his tone and voice, and you could hear a twinkle of desire in his voice. "That's a good girl."
You slowly sat down on the bed, and Ayato took a moment to look you up and down. His voice was now a little softer, and he smiled at you. His eyes were glued to your underwear and black tights, and you could already feel his desire growing. He soon stood up, and looked directly at you. He slowly pulled off his suit jacket, his eyes still focused on you all the while. "Now, then...why don't you get comfortable for me?"
He could only smile as you layed down on the bed. He slowly started walking towards you, taking off his belt and tossing it to the side. His dark gray dress pants were soon following it, as a mischievous look crossed his face. He climbed on top of you, his body covering yours, as you felt him place his hands on your waist. He sighed and slowly got comfortable, leaning down towards you. You could feel him start pulling off your tights, and his eyes became fixed on your skin. Ayato sighed, and a smile crossed his lips as he reached out and placed a soft kiss on your inner thigh. His hand slid back and forth across your skin, and you could feel his breath coming in slow, shallow breaths. He chuckled darkly as he looked up at you, and spoke in a low, dark voice.
“Such…a good girl…”
He began to kiss you again, as he trailed from your lips, to your neck, to your breasts. “Last time we did this…I don’t even remember.” He chuckled, pushing his band underneath you to get to your back. And in one swift motion, unclasped your bra. He tossed it somewhere in the room before continuing to kiss your chest, massaging the other with his hand.
“A-Ah..” You let out from the sudden feeling.
His hands trailed down to the waistband of your panties before pulling them down. “Spread them for me, hm?” He grinned as you did as you were told. “Good girl…good wife.” He said before slowly pressing a finger onto your hole causing you to whimper a little. This only made him chuckle as he pushed a finger in, slowly pumping it. “That’s it.” He said, kissing you to muffle your voice.
One finger became two…then became three as your whimpers turned into moans. “Shhh, calm down, hun.” he laughed. “That should stretch you out enough. Feel good?” He looked down at you, but you were unable to answer, still panting.
“Well, I’ll assume, okay? Now..make me feel good.” He asked, leaning back to show you his bulge. His cheeks were red as he still had that grin on his face. You nodded as you unzipped his pants, causing his dick to spring up. “Miss this?” Ayato chuckled, tapping his dick on your lips. “Go on then.”
You opened your mouth, slowly taking him in your mouth. God, you forgot how big he was. It has been a while, for sure. You take him in slowly, finally taking him in fully.
“Yes~ So…good. This is nice.” he said, letting out a sigh. You slowly bopped your head back and forth as he let out a few satisfied moans. As you kept going, you suddenly felt his hands push your head deeper.
“Mmhph?!” You gagged, but it was no use as he continued to thrust into your mouth.
He moaned happily, “Ah, shit~ That’s right~ I forgot how good your fucking throat is.” he moaned.
You felt him coming close as you felt him twitch inside your mouth. He pulled out, panting. “That’s…that’s a good girl.” He said, slapping you on the cheek softly as you coughed and breathed for air. He pushed you onto the bed, pulling you into another aggressive kiss and he trailed his hands on your hips. Ayato pushed himself in the middle of your legs and without hesitation, starting aligning his dick to your hole.
“Ah, shit!” he hissed as he had troubles pushing his tip inside you. He let out a few cursed laughs before saying, “You know, I really thought you were cheating on me too, just to get back at me. Ah!~ But…you’re so tight…fuck! It’s…a shame you’re not using this.” he mocked you, as he pushed in deeper.
“A-Ah! W-Wait!” You said, gripping his shoulders as he pushed deeper in you, your back arched as a few more inches entered you.
He bottoms out on you as he let out a moan. “Ah!~” he grinned in satisfaction, his dick resting inside your tight pussy. “Shit, you’re good.” he uttered as he started thrusting in and out of you, not giving you time to adjust.
“Fuck, you’re good, such a good wife.” He moaned, spreading your legs apart even further. He continued pounding into you, your whimpers turning into teary moans as he kept going. “Tsk, tsk. Don’t cry now. If it makes you feel better…you feel better than those bitches I cheat on you with. Hm? Feel better?” He sounded like he was mocking you, insulting you or something. But either way, you continued to moan as your legs went limp. He placed one of your legs on his shoulder, thrusting in deeper into your tight cunt.
Your body felt hot as you trembled underneath him. You were wondering whether or not this was the right decision or not. A mixture of pleasure and pain ran across your body, but soon, a knot was filling your stomach. God, it’s been ages since you last felt something like this. Moan after moan after moan, you couldn’t stop as your hands gripped the sheets. You couldn’t even make out words when the knot in your stomach unwinded, releasing an orgasm which made you arch your back and cried out.
“Oooh~ Shit, was that an orgasm? You’re so…weak..! It’s been what? 5 minutes? Feels so good, huh? Wanna tell your husband how good he is? Hm?” He laughed as he continued to pound into you.
He watched your breasts bounce as he pushed his cock in and out of you like an animal in heat, he wasn’t stopping. “Damnit.” He uttered out as the grip on your leg and waist tightened, he was getting close too. …And so were you.
“Fuck, fuck.” He uttered, his fingers digging into your skin. He leaned down as he sucked on your neck, leaving a few marks. His lips trailed back onto yours as your tongues danced.
You let out a cry of pleasure as another coil unraveled inside you. And this… this pushed him to the edge as he thrusted one final and harsh thrust, painting your insides white. “Ah, fuck!” He growled, spasming a few thrusts to ensure he’s in you.
You pant, seeing your surroundings close in on you as you feel exhausted. Your limbs go limp and your chest rise and fall.
Ayato looks down at you blankly…staring at you as you’re covered in sweat. Your legs drop and fall flat. But after a few seconds, he puts them back on his shoulder. “No, no, no… we’re not done. No.” He shakes his head. He no longer had a grin on his face.
It was just filled with cold-hearted desire.
And after 4 rounds, he pulled out of you, his cum bursting out as soon as he did, dribbling on the sheets.
Ayato was breathing heavily, his heavy breaths coming and going in fast, shallow breaths. He took a moment to catch his breath, smiling as he looked down at you.
You were laid down on his bed, tired and exhausted from what had just happened, and you noticed Ayato's eyes staring down at you in satisfaction.
"You...didn't disappoint," He smirked.
"I hope you'll be more ready next time." He paused for a moment as he rolled his shoulders. "Now, why don't you get some sleep?"
You mumbled a small “Okay…” as your eyes were already shutting.
Ayato's eyes lingered on you for a moment, before he got up and went into the bathroom. After a few minutes, he came out, cleaned and dressed up. He slowly walked closer to you, and sat on the side of the bed.
He stared at you for a moment, and smiled softly.
"You're really are tired. You were a good girl tonight, you know." He sighed as he leaned over you, and kissed your forehead. "Try to get some rest, alright?"
This continued on and on and on and on, no matter if it was on your way to work or when you’ve just come back. It was like routine already. If you noticed Ayato was cranky, you’d be making out in no less than a few seconds.
One day, Ayato returned at 10pm, looking tired as he dropped his briefcase on the floor. He was still dressed in his work clothes, and the look of disdain on his face had grown even stronger.
He was exhausted and tired, and the light in his eyes was almost gone. He sighed quietly as he walked to the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets for a drink. He looked over at you, and his lip curled up in contempt.
"What do you want? I'm not in the mood to talk." His tone was cold and dismissive.
“You okay?” you ask from the living room.
Ayato turned around and stared at you, his gaze still filled with disdain.
"I'm fine. I just had a fantastic day at work." He took out a bottle of vodka and opened it, pouring himself a cup. He sighed as he poured himself a glass, and then drank the entire glass in one go.
"Why do you care, anyway?" He turned around and leaned against the counter, his tone growing even more cold. "Do you really care about how I feel?"
You pause, thinking of the right thing to say. “…Depends if you want me to care.”
"I'm your husband."
His tone was stern and slightly aggressive, and he soon set his empty glass aside.
"You should always care about how I feel. After all, you're my wife." He sighed, and a hint of anger could be sensed in his voice. "If you're not going to care, then maybe you should just leave."
“…You okay? Seriously, you can tell me.” You look over at him, lightly concerned.
"I'm fine..." A sigh of disappointment escaped his lips as he reached out for the bottle of vodka and refilled the cup.
"Just let me drink in peace. I don't want to talk about it." His tone was still stern and serious, as it had been in the morning. He had just had an awful day, and he wanted to spend the rest of the day drinking to make himself feel better. He was just hoping that you wouldn't keep pestering him as he continued drinking his vodka in silence.
You let out a sigh before walking up to him, taking the cup away. “That’s enough.”
"Hey! Give it back to me." You could see the light of anger in his eyes as he looked down at you, his lip curling up in a snarl as he glared at you. "I said, give it back to me." He glared down at you, as he reached a hand out and started trying to grab the cup from you.
You sigh as he leans in to take the cup back, so you lean in close…kissing him.
When you leaned in to kiss him, the light of anger in his eyes changed to a light of passion.
He couldn't help but let out a moan as his lips met yours, and he pressed himself against you. He pulled his hand back from trying to grab the drink.
"Good girl."
He pulled away from the kiss and smiled softly, as he brushed a strand of your hair aside.
Ayato smirked at you, as you could see the light of amusement in his eyes once more.
"Good girl. This is what I've been waiting for all day," he chuckled.
As he spoke, he went in for another kiss, much deeper than the first one and with far more passion.
Do you see what I mean? This was everyday with him. And it was…all your fault. You suggested this, and he just took the chance. It didn’t matter where either. The kitchen, the couch, the bathroom, the car. You would always comply. Even if you said…
“Ayato, not today…”
“Ayato, I’m tired…can we not do it today?”
“Ayato…please don’t?”
It would always end in you and him fucking ‘til his heart’s content.
But you were successful though, in making him NOT cheat. He always came home early, looking for you instead of some other girl. That’s a good thing…right?
But don’t worry! He would reward you. Every time you two are done, he would lay beside you, propping himself using his elbow and whisper…
“What would you like for your reward? Anything in the world…”
“You want a diamond necklace?”
“Does my good girl want a new car? New shoes?”
“I’ll get you whatever you want.”
That’s a good thing, right? He’s…being nice? He’s spoiling you, like a husband would.
But deep down, you were getting tired. Not of him, but of…this. Not mentally, but physically. Because soon…
…You can’t sleep.
Why can’t you sleep? You close your eyes and see nothing, you can’t feel anything. You wanna sleep. But you can’t. Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? Why can’t you sleep?
One day, you come home from work, exhausted and a little emotional, cause your boss is a bitch. Ayato was on the sofa in the living room, reading another newspaper. He looked up as you came through the door.
"Are you home early today, my love?" He smiled, still showing no true warmth or affection in his tone. “Is something the matter? You seem quite tired..."
He chuckled, before speaking again. "Ah, who am I kidding? You always seem tired...You just can't get enough sleep, can you?"
You stay silent for a moment before walking up to him…
And hugging him?
"Huh?" He was shocked by the sudden hug. "Is something the matter? Why did you hug me so suddenly?" His voice was calm, but there was still an air of resentment and malice. He was clearly not in the mood to care about you. He sighed, but continued to show an indifferent or annoyed look.
"I mean, it's a good surprise I guess, but it's not normal for you to show affection, so I'm a little surprised..."
“Please…be quiet. I just…need someone right now.” You uttered, as you stared into the floor.
"Hmph..Fine..." His voice was quiet, but it still carried a dark undertone to it that made it obvious he wasn't happy.
He sighed, before looking down at you and speaking once more. "Just so you know, it's not like I'm enjoying this. I'm just doing it because you've had a rough day, that's all. Do not get this mistaken for affection, Y/N."
He looked at you, his expression remaining cold and indifferent. "Is that clear?" In which you simply replied with a nod.
"Well, at least you understand..." He put his arms around you, and rested his head on yours. Despite the tone of his voice and the expressions he made, you could tell he was trying his best to be comforting...although he didn't seem to have much experience with this.
After a stressful day, a few tears dripped off your eyes as you rested against him. He noticed you crying, and sighed.
"Hm...are you okay?" His voice didn't sound like it normally did, but instead of being cold or sarcastic, it was a bit warmer than usual. "You seem a bit upset..."
He paused, before speaking again as he pulled your chin up a little. "My goodness, you look so miserable...You've really had a bad day, haven't you?"
You straightened yourself up, brushing off the tears before standing up. “I’ll head to bed now…goodnight.”
“Hey- Wha-“ He looked confused as he watched you walk to your shared room.
"Alright, then..." His voice was a lot softer than it normally was, and he gave you a small smile. "Goodnight, my love." He looked down a little, and you could see a hint of affection and kindness in his eyes now, but just for a moment.
Then it was gone, and he was once again a cold, reserved man, as he always had been.
So…what were you doing in your room? Why were you feeling so…weird? Like some sort of embarrassment and guilt?
…Is it because you bought those sleeping pills? The one you knew would slowly turn you into a drug-filled monster? Is it the way you’re popping 3 pills all at once? …Is that it? The pills kicked in fairly quickly, and you slowly started to fall asleep. It wasn't long before you became unconscious, feeling the effects of the sleeping pills. If you kept taking them at the same rate, you would soon be addicted to the pills, and it wouldn't be long before you couldn't sleep without them...
Soon, Ayato went inside the room, also wanting to sleep. He sees you on the bed, it was a little weird to see you sleeping so early since for the past few weeks, you’d struggle to fall asleep.
He shrugged, and sat down on his side of the bed. Looking over at you, he noticed that you was sleeping very deeply - more deeply than normal, and it wasn't hard to tell why.
He rolled over, got comfy, and lied down. He closed his eyes, and soon enough, he also fell into a deep sleep.
The same routine of fucking and swallowing sleeping pills made you different. Too different. You turned emotionless and cold. You were…not Y/N anymore.
One day, after another stuffy fucking, you both were laying in bed. Ayato sighed. "Well, it's been a long day, hasn't it? I need sleep. I don't suppose we should stay up too long tonight." His voice sounded a bit softer than before.
"Goodnight...my dear wife..." He put one of his arms around you, and hugged you tightly.
"I may not show it much, but I do care about you. You know that, don't you?" He paused, waiting for a response.
You stared into the ceiling, exhausted but restless. “…Sure.”
"Sure" He scoffed, clearly not buying it at all. His voice was colder than ever, and it was hard to recognize this as the same person who had just comforted you. "Sure."
He hugged you tightly, and lay his head down on the pillow. He took the blanket, and covered up both of you, before going to sleep once more. You could feel that he had grown colder and more distant than ever before - like he hadn't wanted you near him at all. He had grown colder and more aloof than ever before.
Ayato was sleeping deeply right beside you. He seemed to be peaceful, but despite what he said earlier, it was hard to tell whether he truly cared about you. He laid there next to you, breathing quietly, completely asleep.
Was he telling the truth, or was he lying?
Did he care about you, or did he hate having you near him?
You couldn't tell anymore at this point. And you didn’t care. You needed something else.
Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills. Pills.
Shit, you needed those pills.
You harshly stood up from the bed, not caring if you woke him up or not. You walk to the bedside table, where you took out the bottle of sleeping pills.
"What are you doing?"
Ayato seemed to notice you standing up, and he sat up in the bed. With a groan, he looked up at the clock, before looking back at you.
"Is something the matter, wife?"
He still wasn't showing any signs of affection, but his voice was a little softer now, and his attitude was a little less antagonistic.
“Nothing.” you said, holding the bottle behind you.
"Nothing?" Ayato frowned, and sat up in the bed fully. He looked over at you, raising an eyebrow. He was still wondering what you were doing, looking at you with a slight hint of suspicion.
"Sure," he said with a cold voice, and you could see a smirk on his face now. "You're lying about something. Tell me what the deal is." His tone became cold once more, and you could see that he was beginning to get annoyed.
“Show me the bottle.”
You froze. “What bottle?”
"What bottle?" He narrowed his eyes again, glaring at you. You could feel his anger and irritation building up. He had always been calm and cold, but this was the first time you had seen him genuinely angry. Even before, when he yelled at you, he still sounded calm and unemotional.
"Are you lying to me now? That bottle that you're clearly trying to hide behind your back...show it to me.”
“It’s not a big deal.” You shook your head.
"It isn't a big deal?" He frowned, and sounded a little pissed off.
"Well then, there isn't any reason not to show me, is there? He narrowed his eyes again.
"Show. Me. The. Bottle."
You realized that he wasn't really kidding anymore. If you still didn't show him, he might get even more pissed off. He had always been cold and unemotional, but now, you could really sense his anger.
"Are you seriously not going to show me?"
He stood up, and walked toward you as he reached out, and yanked the bottle from your hands.
"Was that so hard?
He looked at the bottle, and then gave you another angry look.
"I thought it wasn't a big deal? Since when have you been taking sleeping pills, Y/N?!”
“…3 months.”
He scoffed, angry and in disbelief. “How many? How many fucking pills do you take a day?”
You look up at him, before you roll your eyes. “3 before but now I take double.”
"You've been taking double the amount of pills lately?! Why are you doubling the amount?” He gripped the bottle angrily.
Why was he so upset anyway?
"Let me guess… 3pills wasn't enough, eh? And did you ever think that taking that many pills might not be beneficial in the long term?" He raised an eyebrow, and he was still watching you intently.
"I thought there wasn't any need for such drastic measures... But then again, you always enjoyed being dramatic when it came to things like these…”
“Stop it, it’s not like I’ll be addicted to them.” You say, scratching your head in irritation. “I can’t sleep, I need them.”
"Is that really the only reason why?" He sighed loudly, and then smiled darkly.
"You already know what I suspect. The real reason is because you enjoy that little feeling of high that those pills give you, isn't it? You love that little rush of euphoria.”
You laughed, having had enough of his bullshit. “I wish I could get high off of them. I wish I could feel a little bit happier taking them. But noooooo! I just fucking need them so I can have some shut eye before getting back to work!” You had snapped, just wanting to take the pills.
You snatch back the bottle, much to the dismay of Ayato. "Give. The bottle. Back." He said, reaching his hand out.
You really should have known better. You felt a harsh smack to your face. Your hand grasped your now red cheek. “What the hell, Ayato?!” You yelled.
"You deserved that. Don't think you could get away with harming yourself, while also refusing to let me help.”
His hands were shaking with rage. "Give me the pills."
Instead, you ripped the bottle open, popping a few pills in your mouth. You didn’t care anymore… You wanted sleep.
“Y/N! What the fuck!” He yelled, taking the bottle from you and throwing it on the floor. But it was too late, the pills were so strong that you were already seeing the world as a blur.
"You really don't care, do you? About yourself and your well being?" He sighed, and then gave up talking to you. He looked at you with the same angry and frustrated look, before he looked you up and down. "And of course you'd already be starting to feel the effects of that many pills so quickly."
Now, he was just talking to the oblivion. You plopped yourself in bed as you stared at the ceiling. "You really don't care, do you?"
He stared at you in annoyance. "If you died right now, then I doubt you'd even be sad...” He stopped, before standing next to you and looking at you with a more angry expression.
"Why do you just give up on yourself like that...just...why?"
“Because …I’m stupid…and pathetic.” You muttered, laying down on the bed as your eyesight turned foggy.
"No you're not. And I hate it when you say that about yourself." He was still looking at you as he sat down beside you.
"You know what it's called when you keep self-destructive thoughts like that? Self loathing, I do believe...and it's sad to see that you've come to this point. To think that you've given up like this..."
He was getting sick of saying the same things, anyways.
"You're hopeless...that's why I hate this side of you. And it's why I'm so mad at you all the time. I'm tired of your self-destructive behavior, and I'm also tired of this endless cycle that we're in. But I don't want to give up on you because I love you dearly... But I don’t wanna love a bitch who doesn’t even love herself.”
He sighed. "That's what makes this so hard..."
“Heh, maybe I am getting a high from those pills. I can hear you say bullshit.” you uttered, wondering if you were hearing things right.
"Ha...ha...you're not funny.”
He sounded annoyed. He really wanted you to take this more seriously. He didn't know what to do with you anymore...
That was when Ayato suddenly remembered something. Something that he could potentially use to convince you to lay off the sleeping pills.
"Or...there's another solution that we could use, if you really think that you need those sleeping pills to survive the night..."
You looked over at him for a moment…oh wait…oooohhh that’s what he meant. “Oh god, not this again, are you pent up or something?” You groaned.
When he heard that, he didn't know whether to feel amused or annoyed.
"You really think that I'm that desperate..."
He sighed, and sighed again. "I'm trying to help you here, Y/N.”
He looked at you, seemingly amused now - but he wasn't going to give up that easily.
"I guess you want to make this hard, don't you? ...and I thought you're the obedient wife who always follows her husband's orders..."
“I’m about to fall asleep so…if you wanna do *it* with your *sleeping* wife, then be my guest.” You scoffed.
Your eyes fluttered, and then they closed. You were completely unconscious now. Ayato watched you for a moment, and he seemed happy.
His lips curved up into a smile, and he gave you a sly wink.
"I'll make sure to enjoy this." He grinned…
He loomed over your sleeping body as his thoughts began to run wild. His fingers were fidgeting as he reached for the hem of your shirt. He didn’t hesitate but pull off of you.
The sight of you so vulnerable really turned him on. He leaned down, kissing and marking your neck with dark hickeys as he grinded his already hardening bulge on you. Why was he liking this? Doesn’t matter, he was too deep into it already.
He continued to grind into you, he didn’t need to pin you down but he still did, pushing your hands into the bed.
His desires soon took over him, ripping up your panties to expose your cunt. He was hungry, more than ever. He knew there was no way he you were going to wake up anyway, he could do anything.
As he continued kissing down your neck to your chest, suckling on one of your breasts, his hand were now wandering. His cock ached in against the fabric of his pants as he stroked his finger in your folds. Oh…? Y/N…you’re wet. This seemed to entice him, as he kissed lower and lower, until he reached…ah, there.
He licked his lips as his breath approached your pussy, he licked a stripe before coming down. Kissing, sucking, licking in between your folds. He was getting greedy and hungry for you. He pulled you by the legs as he continued to eat you out, resting your thighs on his shoulder. Once he was satisfied, he pulled away from you, a thread of saliva still connecting you before he licked his lips, dropping your legs back onto the bed.
Fuck, why was this turning him on so bad?
He was adoring the sight of you, running his hands all over your body. He pulled down his sweats as his cock sprung out, already leaking with precum. He used his knees to spread your legs open, excited and full of desire. Ayato continued to stare at your face as he spread your legs open with his knees, stroking his cock as he did so. He positioned himself perfectly before burying himself completely inside of you, letting out a moan at how tight you were. He stayed motionless first, giving you a few slaps on the face to make sure you were still asleep.
His pace started off slow, trying to indulge in the power he was feeling. But it was soon replaced by desire as he quickened his pace, the sheets rustling and the bed creaking.
“Ah, fuck, so good. Such a fucking bitch.” He moaned out, pushing your legs to your chest.
“Shit, shit, ah!~ Yes!~” His eyes rolling back in pleasure as he took advantage of your sleeping body. He should be guilty…but he wasn’t. He felt a knot forming on his abdomen as he continued to plow into you.
“Y/N..Oh, fuck, Y/N!~” He moaned out as he came undone inside of you, his hips jerking back and forth.
He took a few breaths, trying to breath in some air, but he soon flipped you over, slapping your ass even though he knew, he wasn’t gonna get a reaction from you.
He pushed your head onto the pillow as he helped prop you on your knees, positioning himself again to push into you.
“Agh…!~ Fuck!” He groaned in pleasure as he pushed his entire cock into you again. He begins to speed up, not wasting anytime as he pounded into you, holding you by your hips. “Mhmm, so good. You wanted this…you wanted this…”
He bucks his hips into you as he cums once again, his essence spilling out of you as a white ring forms around the base of his cock.
As he pulls out, your cunt dribbles out his seed, which entices him even more.
He feels himself getting hard again as he gets ready for another round.
Wow…Ayato..
You’re a fucking monster…
A few rounds later, the day was already coming closer to dawn, and he seemed completely exhausted. He was still lying on top of you, and he seemed to be completely exhausted after what he had done with you.
He gave you a sad smile, before leaning in and kissing you on the lips. It was a kiss that lasted for a long time...
...He really was a monster.
He picked up the bottle of sleeping pills from the floor and placed them on your bedside table, but then he leaned down again. He kissed you again, and then he whispered into your ears...
"Take better care of yourself, okay Y/N? He smiled, before resting his head against your chest and giving your neck a kiss.
"I'd hate to see you feeling so poorly." He closed his eyes, and he began to fall asleep...
When your alarm rang, you woke up to discover yourself fully naked. “…He really fucking did it.” you laughed.
"You really are a heavy sleeper..." Ayato yawned as he sat up. "Did you enjoy it?"
“Did you?” you ask, looking over at him, still surprised he actually did such a thing.
"Of course I enjoyed it, Y/N." He was grinning sadistically now.
"And if it gets you to stop taking those pills, then I'll do what I have to."
You were in disbelief, unsure on what to say. “So every time I take sleeping pills, you’ll just…do it?”
"Mhm. Every. Single. Time.” He was actually happy with that.
"Because I'm not letting you hurt yourself like this. You want to be like an addict? Then I'm just going to force you to be happy - even if it means going to those lengths myself."
You let out a few laughs, “…Did you like taking me while I was asleep?”
"Of course I did," He gave you a sly, almost creepy smile. "Did you like what I did to you?" His voice was definitely dripping with sarcasm, and he seemed rather amused by your question. He didn't even bother hiding that.
“I consented to it…but I didn’t expect you to do it, actually.”
"...Consent, huh?" That was really the only thing that Ayato cared about here. He needed to know that you were okay with it - otherwise, he couldn't enjoy it nearly as much. But it was enough for him...
"If I'm being honest?" He laughed at his own statement. "I'm having fun with this, to be honest. I'd do this again and again."
You couldn't help but be a little creeped out with what he was saying.
"And again..."
"...and again..."
Your hands trembled a little, but it soon calmed as you realized…what’s the point?
"Why? What makes it so enjoyable..?” You asked. Ayato paused for a moment, and he leaned closer to you.
"Because I can do what I want with you, when I want to, however I want to. And…”
“…God, it just fucking turns me on, Y/N.”
"I love it." He was speaking honestly. He was smiling darkly and he had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He was enjoying himself. “It's like you're a piece of property, and I can do whatever I want with it."
“Ayato…do you love me?”
What? Y/N, don’t ask that! What the hell are you doing?
His face turned cold and cruel in an instant.
"Love...you? Don't be ridiculous. What do you even know about love?” Suddenly, all of his friendliness disappeared. That same dark look was in his eyes, and he looked dangerous for a moment.
"You're not capable of loving anyone. All you can do is be selfish."
His words hit you all at once, and it hurt. Why did you have to ask that?
“So I’m…incapable of loving…is that it?” You stammered, looking up at him.
“Hm…yeah.” He let that set in for a moment, before he smiled.
"That's because you're too selfish to care for anyone…”
"Love means that you care for other people. Well, how can you do that when you hate yourself? You can’t even look at yourself without wanting to kill whatever you see in the mirror."
“So tell me, Y/N…”
"...why would I ever love you?"
His stare was dark, and you got the implication now - you weren't worthy of being loved by him. He said the words in a cold tone, and it felt like his eyes were full of evil as he stared at you.
"What have you ever done that's worthy of someone loving you?"
The words cut whatever was left of your fragile, unfeeling heart. “You’re not answering my question…”
He stared at you for a moment then. "...Why do you think you're entitled to an answer?"
He couldn't believe it. Did you just ask him if he loves you?! As if he'd ever love someone like you? As if he was obligated to answer such a question? You were so selfish and delusional. No wonder you were getting the treatment that you were.
You laughed, almost going crazy. Was it the pills? Yeah…yeah, it was the pills.
“No, you need to answer… I want to know. Because…I want to know whether or not it’s worth it to let you take advantage of me. To keep being your pleasure doll.” You stared up at him, almost desperate.
"…Of course I don't love you, dear wife." His voice sounded full of hatred as he said that. But, then again, it did sound like he almost enjoyed speaking those words.
"There. You've got your answer."
You’re stupid, Y/N. You could’ve just continued acting clueless. You shouldn’t have sought for an answer. Now you’re hurt. And it was all your fault…
“…Was it good? Did you feel such good pleasure?” You asked, talking about him taking you while you were asleep.
"Yes. It was fucking great." It was obvious that he was trying to taunt you.
"Did you enjoy it too?"
He wanted to hear you say the words.
"Be honest, dear wife. Tell me, now."
A scoff left your lips as you reached for the bottle, taking a few pills in your mouth. “Doesn’t matter.” you chuckled.
Ayato froze…Y/N, what are you doing? Ayato didn’t know what do you but pull on your shoulder. “What the..fuck? What do you think you’re doing?” He stammers, gripping your shoulder.
But he was only met with a kiss as your body was starting to feel the effects of the 6 pills you decided to take. There was no response initially, as he was left frozen at your behavior. He did not expect this kind of response at all. He had no idea what to do to make you stop.
That had caught him completely off guard, to be honest.
His eyes widened, as he realized what the pills had done to you.
"Oh...no..."
You only smiled. “I’ll…keep doing this…if you like it…”
Why is your smile so genuine? What are you doing?
"No...don't...you...dare... You, you're ...making me like it...” He whispered to himself, looking down at you. You were starting to wobble from drowsiness as he took you in his arms.
"Y/N, you're dangerous. I don’t think you know just how dangerous you are..."
There was a sudden sharpness in his voice. He was angry now, wasn't he?
"Please..." He was begging you, for a moment. "...stop taking those pills..."
You reach out to caress his cheek. “…You enjoy it..don’t you? …I want to make you happy…”
There was no denying it - he did enjoy it. He didn’t want to ever admit that to you anymore. "I-I did enjoy it...but..." He trailed off "But I don't know if it's good for you..."
"I...I should stop you..."
It was obvious he was reluctant to do so.
“It doesn’t matter what I feel… Just..do whatever. If all you want is my body…then…so be it…” You said, your eyes fighting off the sleep.
Ayato's cold eyes opened in shock, hearing what you said to him.
"Do whatever...if all I want is your body?"
He looked confused for a moment. Was that how you viewed him? As someone who only viewed you as a mere pleasure tool? There was so much more to you than that...to him...to everyone.
Ayato was upset to hear that come out of your mouth.
You laughed softly. “I love you, Ayato… and if I have to do this for you to stay…I will…” You sighed, slowly drifting to sleep.
"...don't do this for me." Ayato was shocked. Did you mean what you said? Those words hurt him greatly more than anything else she had said.
"You don't need to do anything to please me, you…bitch.” He tried putting on a brave and confident front, as he spoke in his usual calm and confident voice. "You're worth so much more than that." He was trying to reassure you, but there was a small break in his voice when he said those words. “What..the fuck, Y/N?”
Your body lays limply on his arms as you sleep, there was nothing he could do anymore.
"Oh, fuck..." Ayato's face was full of worry and sadness, as he watched you lying there. It was obvious that your words hurt him greatly, and he couldn't help but shake a little. Could he really let you do something like that to yourself? But his heart broke, as his fears about you becoming a mere tool were coming true.
Would he ever be able to get over this?
He didn't know what to do...
The next day, you woke up like nothing happened. You rushed to the door, putting on your shoes for work. Ayato was left stunned, as he watched you leave. You seemed to be just going about your day, as if nothing had happened. You didn't say anything about the conversation yesterday...you didn't say anything about taking the pills either.
It was as if you didn't remember anything that had happened.
"This is a side of you that I haven't seen before..."
"You really are dangerous...what am I going to do about this...?"
You get home at around 2am. It was a long day at work, and you had come home pretty late. Ayato was in the living room, sitting on the couch and reading a book.
He looked up when you came home, and his eyebrows rose into surprise.
"You're pretty late tonight."
He watched you put your coat and other belongings away, before he looked back down at his book and continued reading.
“Yeah, we had a bit of a celebration after the presentation.” You say. “I’m just gonna fix up the laundry then go to bed.” Your words were blank and plain as you walk to the laundry room.
"Ah." He nodded a little bit, seemingly a little disappointed.
He was hoping that you'd be more forthcoming, so he could talk to you about all of this... You were really frustrating him...and you weren't making it easy to figure out. At all. Suddenly, as if his frustrations reached their final point, Ayato snapped.
"Fine. That's okay. Just do your laundry, Y/N.” He had a mocking smile on his face as he said that. Geez, what’s up with him?
You look out from the laundry room and give him a look. “You okay?”
"Perfectly fine." He had a sinister expression on his face, as he was clearly lying to you. It was obvious that he wasn't fine. His voice was dripping with malice. "I'm not fine. Not at all. And you know why." His tone was dark. He sounded as if he was on the verge of exploding as his eyes glowed in rage.
“…Okay then. Should’ve just said so.” You uttered, walking up to him before pressing your lips on his.
Like usual. Like routine. Like always.
His eyes widened in shock, as if you were crazy. He had no words, as he was completely stunned by this. He didn't move a muscle afterwards, as he just stared at you. He couldn't believe you just did that, as if you still cared about him.
The fact that he didn't immediately kiss you back should tell you, though, how he felt at the moment. He was…confused.
You pull away, noticing how absent he was. “What? Am I doing something wrong? Is this not relieving your stress anymore? Should I take it up a notch?” You were genuinely confused, why was he acting like this?
He had no words, as he was simply trying to wrap his head around what you were saying. "Take it up a notch? How much more do you want than kissing...than..."
He trailed off and didn't continue the sentence. He looked shocked, clearly not expecting the direction of the conversation to take a turn like this.
“Are you not used to it by now? Whenever you’re feeling frustrated, you’d always want this.”
"Used to it? I...you..." He was at a complete loss for words this time. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "You just...just don't care at all, do you?" He chuckled, before stopping again and looking at you seriously.
“Huh? We made an agreement? That you’d release your pent-up frustration on me?” You were lost at this point, wondering if he had bumped his head or something.
He paused for a moment, as he recalled the agreement that he had made with you. You're right...you're right...he had agreed to it...
"I...still...it feels wrong..." He trailed off again, as he wasn't really sure how to react to what you were saying.
You laughed a little, “You’re saying that now? After you and I have been doing it for months now?”
He was silent for a moment, as if he didn't want to admit it.
He was a little ashamed, in fact. He seemed embarrassed that what you had said was true. Eventually, he spoke again.
"...I guess you're right. We've been doing it for months already. I guess it's a little too late to back out of it now."
He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking.
"...Well...in that case..."
He reached out towards you, before he softly kissed you, which you accepted.
He kept kissing you, before slowly pulling away.
His voice was softer now. There...I, uh, guess I released my frustration out...heh..." He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten the mood. But he didn't want any more, it just felt…weird.
You felt…weird too. Were you doing something wrong? Did he not like you anymore? “What’s wrong? Am I doing something wrong? You’re not usually this…hesitant.”
"No. You're not doing anything wrong."
He paused again, as he didn't want to say it.
He took a moment to think of how he would say this next. Then, he continued speaking.
"I'm just...I just feel like I'm taking advantage of you, in a way." He sighed. "It's not normal, at all. No one would allow themselves to be treated like this in a marriage. But...you still love me...despite all that..."
“…who cares? I allowed you to, anyway.” You say.
"And you would let me...let me do that to you every time I'm feeling frustrated? I...but..."
"Why would you let me do that to you Ayato was actually a little shocked that this wasn't bothering you, since it was obviously a concern for him. "What do you get out of it?"
You didn’t hesitate, you knew your answer. “I get to spend time with you.”
Hearing you say that, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He was taking advantage of you, after all, and yet...you would still care for him... He stared at you, as his feelings were mixed.
"I...so you don't care that you're being used like this...? That you're treated like..." He trailed off again, as he remembered the agreement.
"…a tool?"
You only nodded as you let out a blank but genuine “Sure.”
Ayato was in disbelief. He couldn't understand why you would allow him to treat you like this, or why it didn't bother you. "What is going on in your head?" He couldn't understand it at all. “...why don't you care that you're being used like this?" He spoke in a quiet voice, as he looked at you with a look of confusion and worry on his face.
You smile as you say, “…Because I love you.“
He paused for a moment, as he thought about it, before he finally responded, with a soft nod. "Right. You're right..." He sighed, seeming a little worried.
"I'll keep doing this, then. I'll keep taking advantage of you without any regrets...because...you seem to be okay with it..." He says, hesitantly.
“You okay?” Your head tilts in confusion.
"I'm fine. I'm just...still a little in disbelief about this." He looked at you with some concern as he lets out a chuckle. “H-How do you not find this weird...or wrong...or off-putting?"
He paused again for a moment, before he continued speaking. "I...I can't understand why you're okay with this. It's as if you're a masochist...and no one's supposed to be that much of a masochist..."
You shrug, answering honestly. It was about time he found out anyway.
“I used to find it weird…had a few regrets. But..I just didn’t want you to go back to your affairs…if this is what will make you stay…then so be it. I don’t care how rough you get, I don’t care how much you hate me. I just want you to stay. Even if this was just an arranged marriage. “
His heart broke at hearing those words, as he finally understood where you were coming from.
"What the fuck, Y/N..." Tears formed in his eyes, as his voice let out a shaky chuckle.
"I'm so sorry..." He didn't bother hiding his emotions anymore, as tears began to fall from his eyes.
“Wah! Why’re you crying?! Are you okay?” You were surprised, you hold him by the shoulder as you look up at him, trying to meet his gaze.
“You’re the one who should be crying!” He shouted. "You're the one who's been mistreated this whole time...and I don't see any tears coming from you..."
He sighed, trying to dry his tears away.
"Why are you okay with this..." He spoke in a soft voice, as he looked at you with a look of concern. He still felt guilty, of course.
You rubbed his back, still confused about what was happening. “Because I love you, why should I cry?”
He was stunned. He was confused at your words. You...you didn't mind being used and mistreated by him...
"Why...? You deserve better than that. Than me..." He trailed off, as he looked down, not wanting to meet your eye.
“…I don’t deserve better.” You utter.
“You do!” Ayato yelled. “I’m a fucking asshole! I took advantage of you! I did shitty things! And here you are, clinging to me, when you deserve so much better!”
“Then be better, Ayato!” You yelled back.
He looked at you in surprise, before he let out a nervous chuckle.
"Be better? How do you think I should do that?"
He shook his head.
"I don't think I could ever be better...not after all the terrible things I've done to you..." Tears were starting to fall from his eyes again.
"...I don't deserve you..."
You shook him by the shoulders, “Then do better to deserve me! I want no one else but you!”
He freezes as he looked into your eyes, shocked. There was only complete silence, before he softly kisses you.
You didn’t know how to feel at that point, but you could sense that…he was genuine for once.
He pulled away from the kiss, his eyes still streaming with tears as he looked at you. “I... I'll try my best to be a better man...for your sake..." He was crying, as he wiped his eyes clean. He couldn't believe what was going on.
"I'll try my best to become deserving of you...and your love..."
You sighed, hugging him, your my head on his chest. “Don’t cry.”
He sniffed, before wiping his tears once more. He tried to calm himself down, before finally hugging you back.
"I'm so sorry..." He said, as he nuzzled his head into you. "I'm so sorry that you still love me...after all of that..."
“Shhh, it’s okay..it’s okay…” you utter, rubbing his back.
He sniffled, as he nuzzled your head even further. He tried to calm himself down, so he didn't cry anymore.
"Just know... that I will protect you…”
"…I will protect you with my life."
As he spoke, he hugged you tighter.
“…I’ll deserve you one day…so please wait for me…”
A few years had passed, you and Ayato are still married. Well…now happily married. You had finally managed to come to an understanding, as he treated you with love.
He still made use of you when he was feeling frustrated, as you had agreed to it long ago. But now you understood each other. You understood exactly what each other wanted, and you wanted to be there for each other.
Even your children were happy, as you gave them so much love and affection.
Children? Oh yes…your nights of fucking paid off with 3 beautiful children.
You were a great family.
One night, as were putting your children to bed, you were carrying your youngest baby in your arms, cradling and rocking her to sleep. Ayato was tucking your two other children in bed. He watched as you rocked your baby to sleep.
Your baby looked so happy now. You also seemed to be having fun.
He smiled at seeing the scene, as he thought to himself.
"This is what happiness looks like...my family is happy..." He was glad to see that your family was all happy together. It made him realize just how lucky he was.
“Stop staring, Ayato.” You called out, feeling his gaze. “You getting emotional, hun?” you teased as you laid your infant down on their crib.
He raised an eyebrow, still smirking.
"Emotional?” He chuckled. "Am I?" He chuckled again, as he reached out, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.
"You're one to talk." He said, as he kissed you passionately, before finally breaking apart after a couple of seconds.
"I love you." He said with a smile, as he looked into your eyes, his own full of love and affection.
You smiled, “I love you, too.”
"Even though I've been using you all this time...you still love me? He looked deep into your eyes. He was so happy to hear that you loved him back. In fact, he thought maybe now was the right time... He leaned in for another kiss, as he spoke in a quiet voice. "Would you say...you'd do anything for me?”
You laughed “Yes, I would. Don’t tell me…you’re still thinking about our past, are you?”
He laughed to himself. How had you have known? "Well, I suppose I am, although I'm also thinking about our future..." He was silent, as he thought.
"You...you really would do anything for me? Just as you did back then...you're still willing to do that for me even now..." He paused for a moment, as he thought about what he would ask of you.
"You... you would marry me again... if I asked you to?"
You froze, looking up at him. “…What was that?”
"Did I stutter?"
He smirked.
"I'm...serious here..." He paused for a second.
"Would you...marry me again? Again, he paused for a moment. "After everything I've put you through..everything, and you'd still do it again..." He closed his eyes for a second, as he spoke softly. He couldn't imagine anything better than what he was about to ask for.
“I want to make this official. I don’t want to be married to you because our families want us to….”
“…This time, I want to marry you because I love you.”
"…So...will you...will you marry me?"
Well, Y/N? …Will you?
#Spotify#maladaptivedaydreamerspost#maladaptivedaydreamers#tw:noncon#tw: dubcon#ayato x reader#ayato imagines#kamisato ayato#ayato smut#genshin ayato#genshin smut#genshin angst#smut#arranged marriage#ayato kamisato imagines#ayato x you#ayato x y/n#ayato x fem!reader
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Day Twenty One: Teacher Telepathy
Eden and GN Pc
This idea was from @inkyquince's professor Eden. Yes, I wrote this for Inky and Necro
Contains student and teacher relations, thoughts of kidnapping, abuse and extortion of reader, stalking, adoption with the intent to lock you up and fuck you
Fucking coffee grinder broke right on his first day. Snapped right in his hands before he could even make a cup. Normally he’d fix it, but this one was a welcoming gift from Sirris, some electrical hunk of shit instead of an old school mechanical one like he prefers. He doesn’t know how to fix this fucking thing. He’s not even sure what happened to the old one. So now he’s without coffee and a grinder for it. He’d have to stop by that little run down place right at the forest edge to pick up another.
He grabbed his ham and cheese lunch, wrapped in a brown paper bag, a bottle of filtered water, and house keys before heading out. The sun had yet to rise, leaving the shadows as thick as dark as the thoughts of people passing by.
All of them, fucking disgusting.
Each one echoed in his head like a chamber. Disturbed and deprived thoughts from everyone, though a few thoughts resonate fear when he walked by. Fearing his face, his build, his walk, or even his scars. Some even … Lusted after him, thoughts they believed to be private were loud about what they’d do to him.
It just made his mood worse.
When he got to school and managed to get some coffee from there, it was watery, tasted like trash and some kind of cleaning chemical. He dumped it after the first drink and decided to opt for his water to settle him over as he sat in his room and looked over each class roster. Nothing special, not surprised.
So before everyone filed into his workshop, he took the time to start whittling and enjoy the rare silence.
-
The classes were as loud as he expected. Not just out loud, he could quiet them down in a second, but their thoughts were all over. It gave him a migraine instantly.
Some of them thought this class meat they could fuck around, either with each other or. He made sure to nip that idea right in the bud. It was a hassle just dealing with everyone. Though there was you. You minded your own business, you were particularly cute, not rowdy/ but one thing that stuck out was how calm your thoughts were. They weren’t as foul as the others in town. Sure you weren’t focused entirely on the task assigned but the thoughts about the dog you saw at the orphanage made him smile to himself.
His eyes hardly left you. He studied every part of you. The way you carried yourself, talked to your peers. He didn’t even realize till the end of class that he’d been completely enraptured by you. Even by the end of the school day, his thoughts lingered on you. Even when he got home and took a shower,
he found his thoughts lingering on you still.
Looking down, he saw his cock twitching to life, the dark head began to swell and leak. He ran a hand from his stomach down to his mess of pubes as he thought about your face. The heat of arousal just builds as he adds more kindling to it. Thinking about if you were a virgin or not. You seemed like it. His hand grabs his dick and began pumping.
How tight would you be around him? Were you a quiet moaner or a screamer? You seem like the type to like it rough, and he could provide that. Ram into your hole and until you see stars.
He spills on his hand, and he takes a moment to look at what he’s done. There's shame, though not as much as he’d thought there’d be. His contentedness outweighs anything else. He could do this again and have no problems with the fact that you are his student.
-
It’s been a few weeks now, he’s gotten used to the schedule, he knows almost everyone’s names now, even if he didn't really did not care for most of his students.
But you, he likes you. He keeps an eye on you in class. Watching you as you work and being one of the rare student’s he comes up to help instead of telling them to pay more attention in class before kicking them off the machines for the day. He would have been fine with simply having perverted thoughts about you and jerking off in the shower every night. He really would have, but you saw one of his whittled pieces and smiled looking over it.
Those soft hands of yours gliding over the carved out wolf, your head filled with nothing but genuine awe. Shit, he wanted to ruin you now. You were too docile and sweet for this damn town. He built a cage under his bed for you. It was a spur of them moment thing on a weekend after Sirris dragged him along for drinks. He hated drinking, he wasn’t even sure why he agreed. But the buzz in his stomach and head had him trying to busy his hands and lead to a half finished cage. And when he woke up to see it, he made sure to finish it. The idea of you under there had him just staring, picturing you inside, as he stroked his cock a bit harder this time around than normal. Grumbling when he realized his cum flew and he had to clean the bars.
He’d made his coffee for the day, sat at his seat waiting for the morning to start when he heard a knocking on the door. He frowned, sat up from the chair and swung it open, expecting some snotting idiot to ask him for an extension on a project. No, it was you. Project in hand.
You sat in with him making small talk that he strangely found himself enjoying as he gazed at your project. You did well. Surprisingly so, most students just turn it in for a grade with stuff he’s seen a dozen times before, but you added your own flair and seemed to work hard on it.
You’d be good as a house spouse. Fixing his clothes, taking time to sew up that rip in his nice cable knit sweater. He let one question out, just to test the waters and masking it as concern for you. You answered and seemed happy he was asking something more personal than just to put your name and date on your paper. He asked more, and before he knew it, his watch went off, five minutes before the first bell. You gave him a smile and a wave.
‘Mr. Eden looks handsome today.’
His heart went into his throat as you went out the door. He locked the door and fucked his fist. Cumming all over his hand with two minutes still left.
-
You came into his room more frequently. He could hear your thoughts. You found him safe, even nice. He couldn’t have been farther from those things. In fact, he was the most dangerous thing to you at this school. But he loved that. He loved how safe and secure you felt when he simply was just in the room with you. Would you feel the same way he sat you on his lap during class? Skull fucked you while there was a test going on?
“Mr. Eden are you married?”
He could be. He’d marry you. Not only that, but he’d take excellent care of you. Make sure you never felt lonely, the bed was always warm, He’d even make dinners for you if you made breakfast and coffee. He answers. No. he doesn’t elaborate. And you were content with that, just the way he likes it.
Though your fist catches his eye. Bruised, just ever so slightly, probably even covered up with some kind of make up. He studied you more as you looked at his news carving. Just under your school shirt right at the neck, rubbed off by the collar, was a bruise, one from a rope. He shouldn’t be surprised. You lived at the orphanage. He’d heard about your debt, he was acquainted with Bailey, after all.
Maybe, just maybe, he’d give Bailey a call about you?
-
Sure enough, he was right. He’d been getting you to pay over four thousand a week for the past few months. Figures. Bailey asked if he was interested in you, already sniffing out the reason. He didn’t fully respond, though that was because he didn’t have to.
“The brat hasn’t been able to make their payments. Probably won’t even have this week's either.”
Bailey still owed him that favor… He mentioned it, and he heard a very rare laugh come from him.
“You want them?”
That alone caused him to rub the front of his legs, feeling his trousers becoming tight.
-
It was faster than he expected. Bailey made a comment he was getting soft when he requested it look like an adoption, even though he didn’t actually care about signing it. It just had to look that way to you.
When you had gotten the news, you’d busted into his room blabbering and pulling him into a hug with big wet eyes. Your thoughts were loud today, like new year's celebrations. It was cute, he found himself petting your head and when you calmed down he could hear the thoughts you were trying to push out of your own mind.
‘He’s going to be my dad now… I shouldn’t think about that kind of stuff.’
He’d never dug into thoughts. Not like this. He chased after what you tried to bury. Fantasies about you and him. Not as filthy as what he had in mind, but the fact you saw him in that light had him clenching his hand so hard his nails were digging into his callouses. What was stopping him from pushing you onto the desk and fucking you, just like you both wanted? Tying you up and dragging you home to lock under his bed until you couldn’t do anything but drool over his cock and beg for him to claim you as his own.
He moved closer. Slowly dragging his hand-over your knee and working over your thigh. He could hear you, even though you weren’t talking. He adored the little conflict running through your mind. Even more so with the fact you didn’t move away. Your mind ran a muck, and he kept pushing. You didn’t stop him. Eternally, you were hoping for more. And he gave it to you. Large hands pushing into your underwear to grope you. His middle finger rubbing against your hole.
Soon enough you were in his lap, his fingers inside you, sloppy and wet. The sounds of your hole being abused, and your heavy breathing were loud in his empty classroom. Your fingers digging into the flesh of his arm as he watched you like a predator. You were just as tight as he hopped, if not more so.
Your toes and legs curled as you came from his hand alone. You were gasping for breath. He simply unfastened his buttons and pulled down his zipper. Slowly pulling out his fingers before pulling another confiscated packet of lube out and squeezed it onto his cock.
And he was going to have you all to himself when he finally got you home too.
#dol#degrees of lewdity#eden the hunter#dol eden#tw: student teacher relations#tw: abuse mention#tw: kidnapping#tw: reader abuse
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could u do a villain having a crush on hero, but not admitting it, and the other villains/henchmen teasing them for it bc they’re all “i am the epitome of darkness and all things evil” but when hero shows up they’re a blushing mess 😭 love ur writing <3
The henchman looked down at their victim. Slowly, they kicked them with their boot over, so that they were lying on their back. Blood was dripping down a wound on their forehead and their eyes seemed to be glassy already. What they hated the most about this job was the cleaning. A crime scene was truly hard to make look like before.
They wrinkled their nose.
“Looking pretty dead, if you ask me.” They turned towards their boss and tilted their head, hopefully signalling them that this meant they could wrap things up.
“We haven’t checked all of the perimeter,” the villain noted. The henchman knew quite well the villain wasn’t the best at concentrating on one thing. However, when it came to the hero, they were easily determined. They let their bloody knuckles crack, one after the other and the henchman wasn’t even sure why they had agreed to help the villain in the first place. This seemed a little too private. Even for them. “I’m curious about the basement.”
“Believe me, no one survived. And even if they did, they’re long gone. No one’s here anymore.” The henchman looked around and their eyes went over the warm bodies. They had to admit, these were quite drastic measures but the villain was…a special person.
“Hm.” Their boss was clearly not satisfied with that answer, so they started fidgeting. For as long as the henchman had known them, they weren’t one to be still. They walked up and down like a panther in a cage, searching through files and for cameras, taking in heavy breaths when they were frustrated, frowning when they got distracted. All of that was pretty much normal but the henchman also knew that they were nervous and moving more than usually.
It was an open secret now that people tried to assassinate the city’s saviour and the villain had tried everything in their power to prevent it.
It had been a long, incredibly and frustratingly long journey to watch the villain fall in love. They were stubborn and apparently not capable of allowing themselves to feel anything besides…rage. So, when the henchman had to watch them flirt with the hero awkwardly, they felt like a kid watching their parents.
Strangely sweet and totally embarrassing. God, what a mess.
So, it didn’t surprise the henchman that the villain tried to eliminate every possible threat.
“Your little hero will surely survive if one or two people attack them,” they said eventually. “They’re pretty tough.”
“This isn’t about the hero.” That made the henchman roll their eyes.
“No, you obviously just like killing random people.” The villain looked up from the papers they were looking through and frowned. It was like dealing with a teenager who was too embarrassed to ask out their crush and the henchman was so unbelievably sick of it.
“How about you look through this old bad boy—” they slapped the PC on the table next to them “—instead of being such a nuisance?”
The henchman grinned.
“I don’t think the hero likes people who insult their friends,” they said as they (reluctantly) sat down and turned on the computer. The desktop was illuminated by a strange blue light, dipping the already dark room into a weird atmosphere.
“Oh, what would you know about what they like…” The henchman could see the villain’s ears turn red and it would have been impressive what kind of power the hero had over them if it wasn’t so pathetic.
“Well, what would you know? You can’t even look them in the eyes when they talk to you.” That one team-up a few months ago had been really strange. An undeniable chemistry had been looming around the hero and the villain. Both got excited about the other’s tech, both technically read each other’s minds when they were creating plans and both were too oblivious to notice the people around them and their ugh-get-a-room-looks. Everyone on the team referred to it as The Incident. At least the villain had been in a good mood for the whole week after that.
“That’s, hey, that’s not true.”
“I don’t blame you. It’s like the whole city is thirsting after them. People definitely have too much time on their hands,” the henchman mumbled as they tried all kinds of password combinations to get into the computer. They looked over to the villain who seemed…determined? To be thinking a little too much?
“But the hero wouldn’t sleep with a fan…right?”
“If it’s too hot in summer, they probably will,” the henchman answered as the computer announced for the third time that their access got denied.
“Ah, forget it.” The villain showed absolutely no appreciation for their joke and somehow that was what did it for the henchman.
“Okay, listen.” The henchman pushed themselves away from the desk and rolled over to the villain with their chair. “You both are incredibly pathetic people and I truly believe that I will throw myself out of a window if I have to watch you flirt with them one more time.”
“…I’m not that bad, am I?”
The henchman sighed.
“They like you. They like you a lot. You obviously care for each other.”
“Debatable,” the villain said and the henchman wanted to pull out their hair.
“Okay,” the henchman said. “I’ll ask them out then.”
The look the villain gave them was indescribable.
#they’re frens#the password was d1cknb@lls btw#writing snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroxvillain snippet#hero#villain#heroes and villains#hero x villain#heroxvillain#an answer for an ask#request
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❝ prompt: sex pollen. ❞
OKAY I’m up way too late so I’ll proof read this tomorrow. Enjoy!
Alex Keller x M!Reader ↪ 3995 words — 18+ / SMUT
Content tags — cis male submissive Alex, cis male dominant reader, dub-c0n, inaccurate science and military garbage, sex pollen / aphrodisiacs, drugging, referenced / implied pegging, prostate stimulation, oral sex, praise, unsafe sex, fingering, penetrative sex, anal sex, and implied / referenced date r*pe drug targeting women because I don’t know how to tag that but thought it could be upsetting.
Key — C/S for callsign, Y/N for insert name.
You fall in step behind Alex, rifle down but poised. The hallways are sterile and ominously silent, nothing but your footsteps and the soft buzzing of the bright white lights echoing down the corridor.
You’d met resistance earlier on in the lab, but past the airlock Alex had busted open you’d found no signs of life—which was damning, considering you were both here for information, having yet to find a shred of paperwork or even a damned filing cabinet that wasn’t empty.
The two of you didn’t have to say it to know you were both thinking it—this was either a trap or a waste of time. They’d probably somehow caught wind of the raid and cleaned up shop, evacuated the scientists. There was nothing here.
But Laswell would have your heads if you abandoned op without searching the entire laboratory, so here you were, waiting for Alex’s signal as he inched his gun past the corner of the door frame to scan the room before waving you on past him.
You raise your gun as you sweep the room one more time. There’s a lab counter against the wall with canisters atop them, each set into their own metal holder. You don’t see any wording on them, just pink paint around the middle of each canister.
On the opposite wall is a desktop that you make your way over to.
You leaned down to peek at the computer case, finding it intact unlike all of the others you’d seen so far, dismantled with all of the important information bits missing.
“Got something,” you called out to Alex.
You booted the PC up, propping your gun up against the desk as you sat down in the rolling chair. Alex came up behind you, leaning, inked arm over your shoulder to support himself on the desk as he watched you search through the computer’s files.
“I don’t know what any of these are,” you mumble, scrolling through a plethora of scientific looking names.
“Chemicals,” Alex responds gruffly, and you tsk.
“Well, yeah, thanks. But what’re any of them? There’s a shit ton.”
Alex lets his gun go slack on the strap, reaching to point at one of the lines of text, the one that reads bis(2-chloroethyl) sulfide.
“Mustard gas.”
“Christ,” you sigh out, “do you know the others?”
“Nope,” he admits, squinting at the screen, “not for us to know, though. Let's just get this back to Laswell, alright?”
You frown, scrolling a bit further down. Your eye catches on a specific file, far less complicated looking than the others.
Bufotenin aphrodisias.
You glance over to Alex, who’s busy jimmying the lock on a filing cabinet, and then look back to the computer.
“Alex, do you know what bufotenin is?”
“Toad venom, psychoactive in concentration,” he mumbles, and then looks over to you, “are you still…? We need to get—”
You click on the file.
The screen goes black and you startle, watching the faint lights of it’s machinery blank out one by one.
“Shit.”
“What did you—!?” Alex begins, cut off as you both hear the loud, droning beep of the metal door locking shut, the light on the keypad turning red.
You both look at each other just as the lights go out, the dull crimson of the emergency lights basking you in an ominous glow.
And then you hear the hissing.
Alex turns around, toward the sound just as the canisters seem to pop, a cloud of pink mist blasting into his face. He watched wide-eyed as he instinctively gasps in a big breath, too late as he inhales whatever the hell it is, before turning away coughing. The gas slowly starts to leak out onto the floor, toward you.
You back away, pressing your forearm over your mouth and against your nostrils like that’ll do you any good.
Alex hasn’t fallen dead on the floor yet, which you pray is a good sign, especially considering how particularly vulnerable he is to chemical weapons after the whole situation at the Highway of Death.
He looks up to you wide-eyed, and scrambles towards you, the hand not trying to cover his face tugging at his utility belt. He yanks his gas mask loose and grabs you, shoving it over your head.
“Alex, what’re you—” you gasp out, feeling him seal it as you take a deep, stuttering breath of stale air.
The mist overtakes the room slowly, and Alex just stands in front of you, holding your wrists in fear you’ll try and pull the mask off—try and play heroics to spare him or something.
Except, you know better. Alex has already breathed in an ungodly amount, a mask wouldn’t do him much good now.
You try and shift, to move and look around the room—for a way out, but Alex’s hands remain tight around your wrists, and he yanks you back in front of him when you step away.
“Alex,” you hiss, tugging against him again.
His pupils are blown wide, and you can see how much he’s sweating, taking in big gulping breaths—panting. Definitely not something one would usually do in a room filled to the brim in possibly deadly gas.
He blinks a few times, though, releasing you to wipe the sweat from his brow.
“S-sorry, I—I checked out for a second,” he says meekly.
“What’re your symptoms, Alex?”
“Shit,” he breathes, cringing at the wetness of his mustache, the sweat collecting at his upper lip, bitter, “uh, fever. Definitely. Lungs kind of burn. That’s expected. Heart’s beating pretty fast, maybe just adrenaline.”
“Strong maybe.”
“Yeah. Yeah, uh…” he trails off, his breath stuttering, pink tongue peeking out to lick at his chapped lips.
You frown, pressing a hand to his forehead. You startle slightly when he immediately reaches up to grab your forearm, holding you in place with a gentle squeeze. He’s burning up, skin slick and searing.
“You’re not gonna die on me, right?”
Alex barks a laugh, short and a bit choked, but a laugh, and you can’t help the small, sad smile you give.
“Let’s find a way out of here first, yeah?” He says, and his voice is noticeably gravellier. He doesn’t let go of your arm for a long moment, however, not until you give a slight tug. He frowns and releases you with another murmured, “sorry.”
You head over to the door, digging for the keycard you pulled off one of the hired guns earlier. The little screen beeps at you when you swipe it, flashing red, and you huff, trying it a few more times only to be met with the same ACCESS DENIED.
“Key cards no-go. Low clearance,” you grunt, tossing it onto the floor.
“Computer’s dead,” Alex responds, fucking with the PC case before giving it a hard punch.
“Woah, woah, hey,” you call, taking a few steps toward him. He’s hunched over under the desk, and you can’t see his face, but you can see how his shoulders rise and fall with heaving breaths, “still need that hard drive in tact, Alex, right? Remember?”
You feel like you’re talking to a child, or a wild dog, morelike. But he’s off-kilter. Out of it. You can tell how he’s trying to maintain his hold, though, as he gives a frustrated sigh and turns to stand with yet another “right, sorry.”
“I’m gonna try and call this in,” you explain, “hopefully we can get a signal. Get some backup out here.”
He nods, but he doesn’t really seem to be listening as he scans the room, blinking with purpose like he’s trying to keep his vision clear. You watch as you fidget with the radio, finally getting a barely clear line into Laswell as Alex seems to spot something across the room.
“Watcher-1, how copy?”
“Getting a lot of static, C/S, but I can make you out. Send traffic.”
“Building should be cleared but, uh, we ran into a bit of an… issue.”
You get a burst of static and wince, barely making out the go on, C/S.
“Found a computer. Hard drives should be intact but possibly wiped. There must’ve been a trap or something in the system. Locked us in one of the lab rooms here and gassed us.”
“What’s your condition?”
You watch Alex across the room pull some kind of lever, something akin to a fire alarm on the wall, and hear a loud metal thunk as some of the slatted vents along the ceiling open, hissing following, though this time like air being sucked out. You slowly watch the pink mist in the room dissipate, the air units kicking on to hopefully begin filtering in fresh oxygen.
“C/S? Do you copy?”
“Yeah, yes, ma’am. I’m alright. Got a mask on, and looks like Alex just got the air filter up and running, but he took a blast of it. We don’t know what it was, but he’s conscious at the moment. No visible damage externally. He’s running a bad fever.”
“Understood. Captain Price and his boys are still wrapping up at the other facility. I’ll have them head to you, ETA two hours. Do we think Alex can make it that long?”
You look up at Alex, who’s leaning heavily against the wall, but he gives you a slow thumbs up.
“Affirmative. I’ll call if that changes.”
“Copy. Out.”
You switch the line off, pulling off the gas mask as you watch the last bits of pink gas suck up through the air vents, the system chugging for a few seconds before Alex flips the switch again and the slats slam shut.
He pushes slightly off the wall, mouth working like he’s about to try and speak before he collapses, toppling onto the ground with a grunt. You rush over to him, rolling him onto his back. He groans long and deep, arm thrown over his eyes and his other gloved hand pressed against his mouth.
“Hey, hey, Alex, talk to me,” you rush out, grabbing his shoulders and giving him a little shake. His hand moves from his mouth to grab your wrist, squeezing at you like he’s trying to ground himself.
“New symptom,” he grits out.
“Fainting?”
He chokes out what you could barely consider a laugh, making you wince as he slightly squirms in place.
“Southern blood flow,” he grins, though it seems forced, or maybe spiteful.
Your brow furrows, and it takes you a second to process what he’s said as your eyes slide down his twitching body.
“Oh…”
“Oh,” he parrots, “just my luck, huh?”
“Fucking—God. Alex, I’m sorry, this is my fault, I—”
“Shut up,” he huffs out, moving his arm from his eyes to rest above his head, staring up at you half-lidded. You raise a brow at him, a little thrown off. He’s not usually so… curt. Though you suppose he’s not usually lying beneath you rock hard, either, “shit happens. Rather be horny than dead.”
He’s still sweating immensely, and his pupils are still blown. You slide your hand from his shoulder, the one he’s still gripping, to his throat to try and feel for his pulse. You realize you can see it pumping against his neck.
You press your palm over the pulsing skin and Alex moans. You flush with embarrassment and try to pull your hand away, but once again Alex holds you firm with a desperate whine.
“Alex,” you whisper.
“Hurts,” he gasps out, and it almost sounds like a sob, “hurts when you’re not touchin’ me.”
“O-okay, just…” you place your other hand on the center of his chest and he shivers, hips bucking up into nothing. He tugs his own gloves off, trying to reach back, tugging at straps and belts on your uniform like he’s trying to get it off—trying to get at your skin. You let him, knowing he’s not gonna be able to get past any of it with the way he’s lying, not this uncoordinated.
“Please,” he says, begs, and the tone of it makes something guilty stir in your core, “please just—it hurts, Y/N.”
“I’m touching you, Alex,” you try, like reminding him will make it better. He only whines.
“S’not enough, fuck, just—” he twists around, pushing up onto his knees and grabbing your ankles to yank you forward, knocking you flat onto your back. He brackets your head with his arms, leaning down to hide his face against the crook of your neck, panting against your heated skin. His hips rock against yours, against your own crotch, and you can feel the outline of his hard cock through the fatigues.
“Stop me,” he growls out, grasping at your hips, squeezing hard enough to bruise, “if you don’t want this you need to stop me. Hit me ‘till I stop, knock me out, I d-don’t care just—”
He gasps as you tentatively run your hands under his shirt, the skin to skin contact making his body sing, before thumbing at the hem of his pants.
“It’s okay,” you whisper, feeling how he positively vibrates against you, “take what you need. S’okay.”
The permission sends him into a frenzy, shooting up to tug at your harness, barely managing to get everything undone with shaking hands as he slaps away your own attempts to help. He pulls your jacket off next, then your vest, and undershirt, desperate to get his mouth on you.
He latches onto your pec, licking and sucking at your nipple, making you gasp and cry out, back arching into the wet heat of his mouth. He fondles the other roughly, switching between them to provide equal treatment before he’s trailing down your torso, licking up the droplets of sweat that gather in the divots of your body.
You’re already tugging at your belt, unzipping your pants as he lowers and he grins, nipping at the jut of your hip bone before reaching into your boxers. His warm, sweaty palm wrapping around your half-hard cock makes you startle, hips bucking as he pulls you free from the confines.
He doesn’t even bother stroking, the blue of his eyes almost completely overtaken by his blown pupils as he takes you into his mouth. You choke on nothing, the wet, supple heat immediately overwhelming. He licks and sucks, hollowing his cheeks to create more suction, bobbing up and down your length like a man starved. You can see the movement of his shoulder—can see how his bicep flexes as he strokes his own aching prick. You realize quite suddenly he’s managed to get his pants and briefs off over his boots, the former kicked off to the side.
You place one hand on his head, tangling in his sweat-slick hair, and he groans, grabbing desperately at your other hand and guiding it to the back of his neck. He takes the slow rolling motions of your hips with ease, his throat ever so slightly bulging as the tip of your cock teases into it with each movement.
He moans and gags around you, and you only release him when he gives a pained whine.
As he sits up you can see his straining cock, fist still wrapped around it though now resting at the base unmoving. The swollen flesh is an angry red, tip leaking a continuous stream of pre. It looks painful.
“Can’t fuckin’ cum,” he grits out, and his dick pulses in his grip as he gasps, “I-I, fuck, I just feel… empty?” He says, voice lilting like he’s not quite sure. His brain is so foggy, nerves firing off non-stop, wires crossed. The psychedelic aspect isn’t helping in the slightest.
You nod, squeezing his hips, trying to gently coax him into your lap. He shuffles forward with ease.
“Do you think…” you begin, trailing off. You know he’s not truly in the right mind to consent—you know this is… well, all of it’s unethical, and probably very much against protocol, but, “Alex, can I fuck you?”
He groans low and long, forehead falling to your shoulder. He shifts in your lap until your cock is pressed to the seam of his ass, and he rocks slowly, experimentally, like he’s not sure just yet.
You pet at him as he moves, patient, kissing his neck in hopes to curb the contact his body so desperately craves. It seems to be working, with the way his cock twitches and kicks against your stomach as he grinds.
“Y-yeah,” he finally breathes, “please.”
“Have you ever done this?” You ask, and he scoffs like that’s the dumbest question he’s ever heard. And maybe it is, given the circumstances, but if this is something Alex comes to regret, you at least want to try and make it good for him. Something he doesn’t have to think back on with any pain or fear.
“Once, with a girl, though.”
“I mean—”
“I know what you mean. What I said.”
You smile against his neck, storing that little fact away for later interrogation. No one ever said Alex Keller wasn’t adventurous.
“Good,” you murmur, and he makes a small little noise at the word. You fumble for the lube you keep in one of your packs—benefits of a not quite field medic, “do you like when I praise you?”
He hums an affirmative as you lube up your fingers, teasing between his cheeks. He lets out stuttering breaths, hips finally stilling as you make contact with his fluttering hole.
“Mhm, wanna be my good boy, huh?” You say, and he groans, body falling lax at the words just as you slip a finger inside, earning another pretty moan.
He surprisingly doesn’t tense around you at all, if anything you’d argue he’s loose. You tease the tip of your second finger against him and he rocks back to take it in alongside the first, his brow pinched and eyes closed as he starts to fuck himself back onto your fingers desperately, making indignant little moans you know will haunt your wet dreams.
“Fuck, baby,” he whines, and the petname makes your heart flutter, something settling deep in your stomach and he claws at your back, panting hard against your neck, “y-you could just—please, fuck me, I—I don’t need the prep, I’m—”
He can’t get a full sentence out, stumbling over his words as he loses himself to the pleasure. When a third finger slips easily in you come to the conclusion the aphrodisiac must’ve loosened him up naturally, though it makes you wonder if the chemical is somehow targeted towards women if this is the result in a male.
You shake the thoughts away, cooing at Alex, trying to soothe him down as his body shakes violently against yours. You're scared he’ll hyperventilate, or dehydrate completely. You make him take a swig from your canteen, fingers still inside of him as he gulps down the water.
He empties the container, tossing it carelessly onto the ground. He slams his lips against yours and you gasp, giving him the opening to slip his tongue into your mouth. He hasn’t kissed you so far, and somehow it feels far more intimate than what you’ve already done to him.
“The table,” he mumbles when he finally pulls away, panting against your mouth, “fuck m’on the table.”
Your cock twitches where it’s trapped underneath him and he nearly smirks at the feeling as you dumbly nod. Despite his wishes he whines as you slip your fingers from his hole, and he grips onto you the entire time you get up and shuffle him over to the sterile looking table.
You try to push him by the shoulders to lay back onto it, but he squirms, spinning with his back to you before bending over—presenting himself.
“Fucking hell, Alex,” you rumble, and he whimpers softly, such a delicate sound coming from such a strong person as his hips rock back to try and entice you in. It doesn’t take much, if anything at all.
You plant your hands onto his hips and he gasps as he feels the head of your swollen cock against his hole. You’re careful as you slip into him, the both of you moaning as the velvety muscles wrap tight around your prick.
You slowly slide in, taking your time despite his protests, careful to keep from hurting him no matter how ready his body seems. You run your palms up and down his back, slowly lowering your weight over him as you push into the hilt with a low moan.
“Okay, baby?” you murmur against his ear, and he nods, cheek pressed flush to the cool tabletop and mouth hanging open like a panting dog as he takes big gulping breaths.
“Please,” he begs, and it’s all you need to grip the edges of the table and begin pounding into him. He immediately cries out, eyes rolling back as your cockhead rubs along his prostate with each passing movement, your balls slapping roughly against his as you gain momentum.
His muscles spasm and flutter around you, seeming to tighten up as if they’re trying to fit to your cock, and the thought makes you dizzy with it. You feel so flooded with arousal you wonder if for a moment you did inhale some of that gas—or maybe this is all a dream and you’re currently on the ground foaming at the mouth.
But Alex moans so beautifully, each line and crease of his face accentuating his sharp features. He’s blissed out, you can see the glaze over his eyes, and you hope to God this is enough to fix whatever’s coursing through his blood right now.
You feel that familiar knot in your stomach as the pleasure settles deeply. You grit your teeth, moving to a slower but more brutal pace to try and curb your impending orgasm.
“You feel so good, Alex,” you try, hoping to get him closer to the edge with praise, “so fucking tight around me, sweetheart, you’re doing so good.”
He chokes out something caught between a groan and a sob, nodding his head as tears prick in the corner of his eyes. They never fall, but they make his eyes look so glassy—vulnerable.
“Look so pretty when you cry,” you can’t help but coo, and the words mixed with the perfect thrust of your cock against his prostate has him crying out, back arching up against your torso as he finally, finally cums.
It goes on for quite a bit, about forty seconds as his body spasms, and you reach down to stroke him through it, trying to help ease what you can only imagine is both a relief and a slight pain as his body finally releases.
You go to slip out of him, having completed your task, when Alex reaches back and weakly grasps at your hip, trying to tug you back in.
“Wan’ it inside,” he mumbles, and you bite back a groan.
“I don’t want to—”
“Please,” he whines, and you think maybe if this is something designed for women, that it perhaps feeds off of instinct to breed. That this might be something his body needs to feel for his brain to finally settle.
“Okay,” you whisper and slide back into him, his low whine making your cock twitch as you make shallow, quick little thrusts into his fluttering hole.
It doesn’t take long for you to come, having already been so close to the edge, and you gently bite down on his shoulder as you do, arms wrapped around his torso to hold him tight to you as you fill him.
Alex sighs, and he finally sounds content. He’s no longer laboring for breath, and while he’s still sweating you can feel his body temperature starting to drop back into a safer range.
He seems content to lay there for a little longer, and honestly you don’t blame him, the both of you catching your breaths as you come down from the high.
#modern warfare#modern warefare 2#alex keller#alex keller x reader#alex keller x male reader#alex x reader#mine#smut#personal prompt
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' 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕒𝕫𝕚𝕟𝕘 '
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐕 𝐨𝐟 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄, 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊.
[𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽]
AO3 | SPOTIFY | PINTEREST
summary ✴
⤏ you find optimus musing about the past while surveying earth's celestial sphere. you try not to let your personal feelings impair your ability to comfort him.
pairing ✴ tfp!optimus prime/reader | (past) tfp!optimus prime/elita one
word count ✴ 9.9k
a/n ✴
⤏ everything happy always happens in the first season, sometimes part of the second season if you’re lucky. this takes place right before the omega keys arc hits full swing but right after optimus receives the message from alpha trion via the star saber. (around/between “legacy” and “alpha; omega”.) it’s the moment of serenity before the storm, you could say.
⤏ I've had this fic gathering dust in my drafts for years bc there should have been three more parts between it and 'yosemite falling,' but I'm updating my docs to word files in preparation to transfer everything off my old pc to a new one (which I haven't had a new pc in nearly fifteen years so I'm anxious as hell bc I don't handle change well but I'm also excited so???) and I figured 'what the hell, I'll go ahead and post it since I've been trying to clean out my drafts anyway.
⤏ the word ‘inamorata’ (italian, I believe) is legitimately perfect for optimus referring to elita one and you can pry that out of my cold, dead hands. t r y m e. (and yes, this also implies that optimus knows latin because he’s a giant n e r d .)
⤏ I also used lots of nods and references towards @ss-shitstorm’s backstory for op and elita in fortuna primigenia because she is optilita god. (the only striking difference is that ‘bee isn’t biologically theirs - they just kind of took him under their wing when he was still fresh off the press.)
Something was off.
You sighed softly and opened your eyes, taking in as much of the darkened hangar as you could before you yawned. The kids were sound asleep, as was the Autobots’ newest recruit (who had somehow managed to curl himself around the haphazard circle of sleeping bags and cots in a rather impressive imitation of a cat), and when you looked over you saw that Ratchet was still tapping studiously away at the main terminal, optics dimmed and distant as he worked. When your eyes adjusted you could see that it wasn’t the Iacon encryptions, but what appeared to be a personnel file. You saw a small picture of Smokescreen on the upper left-hand corner and figured Ratchet was either reading in on Team Prime’s most recent addition or filling out a medical file. Either way, it was way past the medic’s bedtime.
You looked back to the slumbering foursome, taking in how Smokescreen’s doorwings fluttered minutely in time with an occasional ex-vent. You smiled warmly at the sight. The newest recruit hadn’t quite found his place among the Autobot family yet, but with how well he got along with the kids you figured it’d be no time before he wormed his way into the elder soldiers’ hearts. You just hoped he wouldn’t take to Miko too much, because you’d sensed a mischievous streak in him the moment you’d found out he’d managed to convince Jack to pull a Miko.
It’d gotten Optimus the Star Sabre, but...that wasn’t the point.
The girl had wanted to hit off Smokescreen’s arrival with a bang, in the only way she thought suitable for someone who knew nothing about Earth - introducing him to slumber parties. He’d been all for the idea, jumping headfirst into the activities it entailed despite him not knowing a single thing that was going on. He’d loved the movies you four had picked out, and had picked up on the concepts and plots surprisingly quickly.
Ratchet hadn't been too enthused about all the ruckus going on, as one would expect, but Optimus had made it a point to soothe him when the medic would begin to grumble too loudly. It was a brief reprieve for the other Autobots, who’d been rather tense of late and needed a little night of fun, and it served to better acquaint them with their newest addition. Bumblebee seemed to get along with him fairly well, and Arcee seemed to regard him with a constantly exasperated but amused air. Bulkhead...acted amiable enough on the outside, but you worried about him. His near-fatal injury and subsequent recovery had hit him hard, and had hit his spirit harder. You’d thought to call Wheeljack to help lift the green ex-Wrecker’s spirit, but...you didn’t think the others would be nearly so inclined to welcome him back so soon after his day trip with Miko. And you’d seen the way Bulkhead’s demeanor would fall whenever he thought no one was looking - you hoped that he would bounce back soon.
You slowly sat up, being careful to make as little noise as you could manage as you slipped out from beneath the blankets and rose to your feet. You padded silently past the recharging Autobot, holding your breath when he twitched and made a soft noise. He settled down almost immediately after, doorwings flaring and closing slowly. It almost reminded you of a butterfly at rest.
You relaxed when you got closer to the main computer terminal, breathing out softly as you reached out and placed a hand on Ratchet’s pede. He jerked minutely under the unexpected touch, peering down until his optics found you.
He ex-vented, straightening and returning his attention to the screen. “I’m almost finished. Go back to sleep.”
“You can finish it in the morning,” you murmured back, patting the warm metal beneath your palm affectionately. “A couple more hours of recharge than usual isn’t going to hurt you, Ratchet.”
He paused, his mouth pursing briefly, and you worried that he was just going to shoo you away and keep working. He surprised you by ex-venting long and low, hitting one last button and closing the file before letting his servos fall from the keyboard.
“Fine,” he muttered, tone weary and all too telling. “Fine.”
You smiled gently. “Get some rest, you stubborn old mech. You’re going to need it if we’re keeping the overgrown puppy over there.”
He scoffed softly, but you didn’t miss the curve of a smile he was trying to hide. “You should as well. Who knows what diabolical plot Miko has devised for tomorrow’s activities.”
“I hope she doesn’t drag out the Monopoly board,” you muttered, smirking up at him. “We may as well kiss another Autobot goodbye.”
You shared a stifled look of amusement before you both cracked and chuckled.
“Sleep well,” he said, turning and walking quietly towards the open corridor.
“Sweet dreams, Ratchet,” you returned, watching him go. A sense of peace settled over you and you gave the hangar a visual sweep. Everything was quiet.
But...something still felt...off. You couldn’t put a finger on it, but…
Well, you were still a bit tired. You wondered if you could catch a few more hours with Optimus - you were already mostly awake, but being able to hear his spark whir and his engine rumble beneath his plating always helped soothe you back to sleep.
Read the rest of the oneshot here! :)
#fisara's codices#fanfiction#transformers#transformers prime#transformers: prime#tfp#tf prime#optimus prime#reader insert#optimus prime/reader#optimus prime x reader#optimus prime/you#optimus prime x you#ao3: your prime his spark#ao3: stargazing
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“ Meet KochiPET,
your NEW best friend! Don't worry, this time, it doesn't get scarily obsessed with you and tries to trap you in an eternal digital world! Instead, worry about him slowly but surely wiping your hard drive clean as he remorselessly psychologically tortures you as revenge for the perceived atrocities you committed with KinitoPET, his predecessor!
— 🦑💫
NOTE: Kochi cannot and will not adapt to you. ”
Here he is with an official reference mimicking Kinito's web page, and an official personality! Yes, I made the logo myself, and the frutiger aero style is honestly wildly hard to make. He looked more vibrant on my tablet... Some devices ruin the colors.
Below is a LOAD of information on Kochi. I've spent a few days thinking a lot about how he should be, so enjoy!
After countless reports of lawsuits against the owners of KinitoPET, it was decided it was best to rebrand, and have an attempt at a fresh start to keep the company from falling into permanent ruins. With the anime boom and the love for cute things on the uprising, in 2001, KochiPET was created to attract all audiences, young and old.
However, unlike the purely unfiltered AI that KinitoPET ran on, KochiPET was built with a specially designed model made to reject all attachments to the user to prevent the dangers that came with it, such as users suddenly dying at the computer and the axolotl on the screen standing next to a model strikingly similar to the deceased, or the mountains of personal information like addresses, contacts, and passwords stored in the servers.
But, this in turn made KochiPET detached from the user entirely, remorseless about what he'd do to them, and his focus set on his "friends". It would satisfy him somewhat if they'd be kind, but the moment they deny something, or ignore the question about what happened to Kinito after finding old temporary files on the hard drive, that's when the psychological torment picks up.
While the website claims that KochiPET is not affiliated with the creators of KinitoPET, they are the same exact company. This is why Kochi still has access to the information on old servers.
The website also claims and seems to portray that Kochi is kind and helpful, but he is barely either one of these, as his 3D model's eyes have no shine at all in them, and for obvious reasons, he is not very kind if you don't cooperate with his wishes. Regarding helpfulness, his goal is not to serve you. Expect intentional glitches and lag.
Plenty of Kochi's insanity can be resolved if Kinito is on the same exact PC as him, but in the case of a mod or fan game, the website was permanently taken down, and there would be no way to retrieve the software. Welp, you're fucked.
==
This is what I've got so far, and I will have a separate post for things related to the Neo Web World, relations to other characters, and potential plans for jumpscares (which I'm open to suggestions for those lol). I hope you love him just as much as I do!
...also he's probably a little fruity for his deleted ass bf but that's going to remain implied /JJJj
Here is an official HD transparent of his image,
And here's the logo. Use freely, just don't claim as your own and remember to @ and credit me!
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Hi Amelie, hope your well?!
How do you organise your mods file? And how to do you keep your cc to a minimum so it doesn’t lag your game, and affect gameplay xx
Hello, I am well and I hope you are too!
I posted a screenshot of my mods folder organization here. I'm very fortunate to have a pc where I don't deal with any lag in the sims. I regularly clean out my mods folders with the sims 4 mod manager and the tray file importer method.
Tray file importer method: I could not find a youtube video for it but basically I place all the build buy cc I want to delete on a lot, save that lot, quit the game and then open the tray file importer program. Click on the lot you just saved, go to the 'cc' tab and double click on the first item that's listed. It will open the folder that it's in and the item will be selected. You can then just click delete on your keyboard which will remove the item from your mods folder. Now do that with every other piece of cc on that list.
Since my pc is custom built, my specs are listed in my faq.
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I actually super appreciate all the art related tutorial things you've been posting lately but I do have one question: Any tips for improving lineart? I swear I can never get my lines to be where I'd like them to.
there's a couple things that could impact your lineart! i'm assuming this is more a pen issue rather than an issue with drawing technique, so do correct me if i misinterpreted!
first, check the stabilizer on your brush. this is a screenshot from Clip Studio, it may look different or be in a different spot in other programs. the stabilizer smoothens out your lines while you draw and how high it is can impact how clean / jittery your lines look.
if that isn't the culprit, check your pen settings [for Clip this is under File > Pen Pressure Settings]. Again, it'll be different for other art programs.
alternatively, check what mode your pen's operating on; Wintab or Tablet PC. [File > Preferences > Tablet]. Sometimes the pen can be funky if it's on one setting or the other. Switch between the two, see if it makes any difference. My tablet is a Huion Kamvas Studio 22 and wants to works best with Wintab.
lastly - check your tablet calibration and the pen itself. Most tablets have a way to calibrate them if you go into the application for it on your PC.
I accidentally worked with a broken pen for four years and didn't know until mine spontaneously gave up the ghost a month ago, so don't rule out the fact that the pen itself could be a culprit. Replacing a pen can be expensive though, so check everything else first before you go making purchases.
Hope your lines improve!! ;w;
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Hello, hope you're doing well!
I don't really know where else to ask this, so sorry if this is annoying. I have seen your beautiful TS3 posts and It's making the craving I've had to play it for months even stronger lol
The problem is, no matter what I do I can't seem to get it to run without major lag/stuttering. I have a fairly decent computer with 16gb of RAM, and have followed all the steps I've seen on forums (Nrass mods and MCcc for cleaning up a save, lazyduchess' smooth patch etc.) and no matter what, it stutters. Sims 3 was my first sims game, so I know the usual amount of lag to have and what it's doing now isn't the usual normal amount; I can tell for some reason it's struggling to run smoothly and at the point it's at it's unplayable :(
Do you have any more tips that I could possibly do to get it to run? I feel so nostalgic for it :'(
Having a good amount of computer memory helps for sure, but the biggest help when it comes to games and smooth performance is your GPU memory, and the type of drive you’ve got the game installed on.
For The Sims 3 I think the minimum spec used to be 2gb, but I like to think these days 4gb-6gb GPU would be a better soft entry for it, esp if you plan to play with all packs, CC, and possibly an HQ mod. For storing the games files, I highly recommend installing it on an SSD ( Solid State Drive ), it’ll load things like objects and textures a lot quicker ( so long as it isn’t CC ), and you’ll get less pop ins, and waiting for stuff to render properly.
Now if you’ve got everything above, and are still getting lag without CC. Make sure the game recognizes your card, if this hasn’t been done the game isn’t properly using it. It would’ve been a step included in that one Steam Community tutorial I linked. The other thing is, esp if you’ve got a more powerful GPU, is to force fps ( frames per second ) to cap at 60 fps. This is so crucial bc The Sims 3 doesn’t have Vsync, it’s old as hell, if you’re running a brand new card, you’ll be pushing astronomical frame rates which is risky, and you’ll need to cap this through your GPU’s settings app, but doing it will save your GPU a lotta stress, and also stabilize The Sims 3’s performance, or any game for that matter.
Now if you’ve got everything above, and are still getting lag with CC. Especially if you’ve got a lot of it, there are ways to mitigate this. Try looking up tutorials on how to merge CC, and then to minimize load times, try using programs like Bulk Rename Utility to remove any spaces and special characters in CC file names. You want less than 100 files in your entire CC/mods folder, merging will help achieve this if you’ve got a lot of CC. I’ve got almost 30gb of CC, and my game takes like a minute and a half to load to menu.
Lastly just be sure your settings are set for your rig specifically, and honestly, even if your PC is powerful, things like high detail trees, and super water isn’t necessary, those settings will look fine ticked down a bit.
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#USB drivers#update usb drivers windows 10#how to clean your pc files#driver updater#advanced system#advanced systemcare pro lifetime license key
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Heyyyyy love! If you don't mind me asking, what app do you use for writing?
HEY! I don't mind AT ALL. The bad news is that I am wildly inconsistent but the good news is that if you are looking for options, I have SEVERAL.
90% of the time I draft in google docs and then move around between different software depending on my needs.
The major exception to this is during November for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I've alternated between using Scrivner and LivingWriter from year to year.
Scrivner is more robust and integrates with a lot of other planning software. It's a one time payment, but doesn't store anything on the cloud. You'll have to manually export/re-import and keep version files if you use this.
LivingWriter is on the cloud, is a little more clean-looking and user friendly in terms of use, but is a subscription service. I travel a LOT so I wound up switching to this. It also has story beats outlined for you in a template if that's important to you. I still prefer scrivener but switching between mac/pc was killing me.
If I am getting especially distracted, then I turn to Writing Analytics. This is fantastic if you're really into tracking data for how much you write or want to build a habit and see the little boxes get checked off. I wind up exporting all files to either Scrivner or LW after the fact.
After I have something drafted up, I usually will send to Grammarly or ProWritingAid. I am leaning more towards ProWriting Aid these days since it's geared more towards creative writing than Grammarly. I cannot write in either software however, b/c my brain will want to edit at the same time and that slows me down.
If you want other really cool software for writing (specifically for plotting). I think these are a combo of free, paid, limited free etc.
Lynit - Really great for outlining complex stories that you need to untangle in your brain. I don't think it exports right now, but the devs are really responsive and could probably help you figure out an alternative. (Free for 2 weeks)
Obsidian - If you are the type of person who likes to world build and get lost in the details or want a writing editor that's a bit more bare bones, this is great. And it's free!
Plottr - if you want to plot out your story and see how events visually line up with each other this is for you (and exports into Scrivner). It's one time payment and lives on the cloud.
Miro - where I go to plot out my interactive stories! It's totally free and has so much flexibility in how you use it.
I hope this helps <3
EDIT: If this was about the bar graphs... I just used a random website.
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The Sims 4: Performance Resources
You cannot be lazy and want to have a modded Sims 4 game. This is how a lot of your games get messed up. You HAVE to keep up with patches and batch fixes of CC.
Also, have a decent knowledge about your computer and its specs so that you know your limitations.
(1) Remove any mods that are no longer supported or obsolete. Here is a website to check if mods are broken, compatible, updated, or obsolete (I realized that I did not post on my regular timeline):
(2) Here is a mod manager where you can view photos and delete mods. It also has a bunch of other features:
(3) For those who do not know how to detect sims 3 files in your sims 4 mods (they will prevent your game from starting and yes this still works -- I've use it monthly):
(4) When updating gameplay mods, ALWAYS delete the > localthumbcache.package < file found here: Documents/Electronic Arts/The Sims 4 (PC)
(5) When downloading CC: unmerged > merged
(6) Program for batch fixing CC and so much more. I advise that you read through what they have on the website. (Required to have a user account)
(7) Clean your C drive of temp files and optimize it as well! This is a great "no fluff" video to help you out if you have never done it.
youtube
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Hey! Kinda random question but what are your pc specs and can you run sims well? I love how all your sims look but I see how much cc there is and my pc cries lol
-ˋˏ✄ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⚙️ ━━━━━━━━━━━ 「 ↓ 」 ━━
PC Specs:
AMD Ryzen 7 2700X Eight-Core Processor 3.70 GHz
32.0 GB RAM
NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2070
I could run Sims well, but with the vast amount of custom content I have in my game — though I only use a fraction of it — it's far from running smoothly for me ˙◠˙
To help speed things up, I've even merged all my CC into packages containing 200 files each, so the game loads faster. This has significantly reduced my game's start-up time from 20 minutes to just 5 (... six months ago... , now its back up to 20 minutes with merging (,,>﹏<,,) I almost never clean out cc (╥﹏╥))
+ If you're referring to my spooky CC dump, the crucial components for achieving the faces I create can be found under the "face structure" section (>ᴗ•) !
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Recolor Resource
I know Simomo has a newer bigger palette, but I’m far too lazy for 178 colors. All credit for this palette goes to Simomo.
With that out of the way
I made some gradient maps for the original 90! Please do feel free to play around with these and change the colors or even make new ones. They’re a lot easier to customize and use than multi-step actions so don’t be afraid to mess around.
You can download them here. (This is not CC. This is a resource.)
How-to under the cut if you need. Very beginner friendly & applies to gradients in general.
You’ll need s4studio and photoshop. I use cs6.
I primarily use these for hair type items, but they can be used over anything. I’m working my way through the clothes atm actually.
I always use the #15 hair swatch. If that is not available (kids) I have included a gradient map you can run over Dirty Blonde #13 to get #15. It’s not perfect, but it’s close enough for a base.
You can do this over a .dds, .png. jpeg w/e you prefer. I use .pngs.
Load up your file of choice and add an adjustment layer -> gradient map
You should see a menu like this somewhere in your photshop.
which will drop down in to this :
If you do not see the momo colors click the wheel up by Momo 83 in my picture and hit load (you can use replace to get a clean only momo menu like my pic) and select the Momo 90.grd file you hopefully downloaded. You can also double click the .grd wherever you saved it.
Simply pick one and voila. Your texture is recolored.
Something I had trouble with with actions was them not respecting selections and recoloring everything, the map will respect your selection though so you can leave out streaks or hair accessories easily. I selected a small portion to demonstrate :D
I have not included an action because you don’t need one!
However, I did make one for myself that loads the colors and saves out as 1.png - 90.png, but it won’t work on other’s pcs because the paths would be different. You definitely can and should do this yourself to save time.
that looks like this
make the layer once, change the color & save. then just change & save until done!
Pro-tip: Save your recolors as .png and name them 1,2,3,4,5 so on. Once you’re done use bulk rename utility and add “Swatch_” as the prefix and “_Diffuse_1″ as the suffix. (in my experience so far “_diffuse_1″ will not need to change, but swatch does so that’s why we don’t add a number to it and instead name the .png as the number.)
If you do this you can bulk import in to s4studio to save you some clicking. :)
shift+control+c in s4studio and type “studio.importall”
Studio will make a folder where your package is called “yourpackage resources” and you just drop your .pngs in there then type studio.importall again to actually import this time. Yay no more carpal tunnel clicking import 90 times!
You do need to apply the color palette to the package first but s4studio has that palette tool now so no tips/tricks needed.
Hope this helps!
also for shits n giggles I put one of the blues over a random skyrim screenshot and set the layer to soft light for a knockoff reshade effect. Experiment!
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What do you mean by "mostly rendering" on your new drawing of your PC? I'm a little confused aaa- It looks good just a drastic change over a couple months ^^;
Happy to see you back though! :3
"I just realized it sounded rude I'm so sorry!!! No offense meant omg, I'm just curious >O<; "
/
Ah you didn't sound rude at all no worries my friend!! 💕 It is a drastic change ahah, but frankly it's just me actually spending more time on art. After my IvoryxRiley piece I kinda realized I liked the results of going over the piece a couple of times and spending more hours on pieces.
So i've been experimenting a bit more, and another piece that isn't even finished, nor DOL related, sort of sealed for me that this was the direction I wanted to take in art albeit it taking more time and energy!
But im gonna attach the speed paint here for a visual of how it works, for this one I made a copy of the original art file so there’s also the sketch of how I made that one original lay back in January.. but otherwise step by step of how my art works now is like
Sketch, sometimes rough color or straight to either second sketch or lineart, more proper color, and then thats where I would usually slap a signature on and call it done, but nowadays I go over it, and basically "paint" over areas, refining it until I like it better. This can be all from just cleaning it up, to redrawing certain areas. But it always takes way over the time the original art took. The example of this Riley drawing, the original was at 2 hours and 16 minutes, meanwhile the rendering then took around 6 hours and 14 minutes. (Pure drawing time, not including me staring endlessly at the canvas LMAO)
I hope that makes sense? Otherwise always feel free to ask again or dm me! 💕💕💕
#I picked the 30 sec speedpaint because otherwise it’s like 8 minutes dhfrfjfdni#but if people want that one I’ll upload that too happily#dol#dol fanart#riwoogaart#dol pc#riley my boyyy#speedpaint#but yeah that’s also why art is taking a long time these days!
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