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drjackandmissjo · 3 years

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I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you

(but I’ll do what I must for there’s no me without you)

*** Set throughout the course of their 7th and final year at Hogwarts, this story follows Slytherin's finest and one of the only sane members of the House, Blaise Zabini, as he navigates war-torn friendships, school under a dictatorial regime, Death Eaters and, most importantly, his secret relationship with none other than the new leader of the DA, known blood-traitor, Gryffindor, Neville Longbottom.

A sequel to my previous story: Firewhisky on ice, sunset and vine, you’ve ruined my life by not being mine

Chapter 1 --- next chapter

Harry Potter fic masterlist

29th of July 1997

“I have to admit: I enjoyed the film way more than I expected to,” he said once they had left the muggle theatre. The air had become chilly during the time they had spent inside, but neither of them was bothered by that: they were used to colder climates, after all, spending most of the year in Scotland. And for all its spells and constant fires, one thing always must be said about Hogwarts: certain rooms and corners had never seen the light of the sun and they surely behaved as such, even during warm days.

Like the Potions classrooms, while Snape was their Professor. Those dungeon rooms looked and smelled and felt every bit of humidity that came from being so close to the lake and that, even with the countless explosions that Theo and the Fire Kid from Gryffindor caused with each lesson, could never get anything warmed up. A Hungarian Horntail could breathe fire in there for 24 hours straight and it would still be humid and wet and cold.

It was a good thing Professor Slughorn had decided to move the classrooms up on the fourth floor, in rooms full of windows and light. Blaise could have easily gone without having to add to his ever-growing list of worries his skin getting dehydrated with the stained and stale air that circulated down there.

He watched from the corner of his eye Neville nod along to his statement in agreement, before casually running a hand through his hair and messing them up even further. No matter how hard he tried to keep them neat and proper, like his grandmother wanted them to be, the strands appeared to have a life on their own, especially when certain Slytherin hands had free reign in between them whenever they were alone.

Besides, it really wasn’t Blaise’s fault: Neville had decided he wanted to grow them out, instead of cutting them just as his grandmother suggested on the daily, and, much to Blaise’s happiness, now his bangs framed his face divinely, making for a perfect place to leave his hands whenever they were else occupied.

He also enjoyed the way Neville would scoff in pretended annoyance whenever he disarrayed them and then would shake his head in disbelief at his antics, aiding Blaise’s purpose even further.

And, really, who could blame him? If Blaise wasn’t as in love with the dorky plant-head Gryffindor as he already was, he’d fall even harder at the sight of him with his funky tousled hair and puffy lips as he took a bite out of Blaise’s food without asking first.

He had been so glad that day, having bought a muggle camera that worked similarly to a magical one but that was way easier to manage. He had taken dozens of stills of them, never seeming to get enough of Neville’s smiling face and of his own relaxed and happy one. For Salazar’s soul, he had even sent one of the two of them smiling to his mother, after she kept on asking to at least see the young man that had enchanted her son.

She had replied to his letter the following day, with a simple: “Rule number fifty-one: don’t let him go.”

Blaise had never once wanted to disappoint his mother and definitely wouldn’t start now.

“I don’t really like the way it ended, though. The part where J removed K’s memories was a nice touch, but I feel like we didn’t have enough time with neither,” Neville commented, shoving his hands inside his jeans’ pockets as they kept on walking further and further away from the theatre, undoubtedly to stop himself from doing something idiotic like holding Blaise’s hand when there were still people around.

Given the current political and non-political air that permeated both the Wizarding World and Britain, the two young men had decided that it would be best to limit their encounters only to muggle areas in London, although they would still have to maintain a rather low and inconspicuous profile. It had become incredibly easy to be together without raising suspicions, especially with almost an entire school year of experience sneaking around the castle, but they still preferred to be cautious, to hide from both dark wizards and close-minded muggles.

Neville still lived with his grandmother, but she had become less strict during the course of his first week back at home from school and didn’t really bother him with the amount of time he stayed out, as long as he spent the nights at home. Besides, in her own words, they all had ‘bigger problems than teenagers breaking curfew a little bit to meet with their friends.’ Blaise couldn’t believe that he could ever agree with Augusta Longbottom, but he had seen stranger things happen.

Still, when Neville told him, he had been so shocked he had choked on his drink, causing the Gryffindor to laugh at the spectacle he had created with his Cola.

Blaise himself had been invited to spend his vacation at either Malfoy Manor and the Nott’s, both families offering their hospitality and implicit protection, but he had declined immediately under the ruse of a simple: ‘I live with you the whole year, I need my space and I need to breathe proper air that isn’t tainted with your disgusting deodorant.’ While the sentiment itself was true, he did not want to risk being found out with Neville, a known ‘blood traitor’. Not to mention the part of him being a guy. And a Gryffindor.

Blaise wasn’t really certain about which part would get him into more trouble and wasn’t willing to find out anytime soon.

Therefore, he had chosen to stay at his father’s old bachelor apartment in London, while his mother moved back to France, not wanting to be anywhere near the War that was brewing.

He had asked Neville to stay with him as soon as he was done cleaning the place, making it welcoming and a cosy retreat for them, but his adorable boyfriend couldn’t leave his despotic grandmother alone the entire time, especially not now that the waters were rough.

Always the selfless Gryffindor.

They had retorted then in meeting for random dates almost daily, which had been heavenly. Neville would show up at his apartment with Floo Powder, since he hadn’t taken his Apparition Examination yet, and then they’d just walk around muggle London, as if they had no care in the world. They still kept their guards up, checking every corner for danger that could be avoided, but they tried to ignore the Damocles Sword that hung above their necks.

Which had led them to the muggle theatre on more than one occasion. It had been a perfect idea: in the darkened room nobody questioned why they were holding hands or sharing the popcorn; and they wouldn’t risk anyone from the Wizarding World discovering them, those who would cause them troubles too high on their brooms to even look down at something as mundane as a muggle theatre.

They had also gone to muggle museums and parks and bookstores and restaurants, but Blaise loved the privacy the theatres offered, he loved the way Neville would get engrossed in the stories, he loved the way their hands would link together as suspense built on the screen, he loved to discuss the film afterwards and to dissect every aspect that he found interesting.

And he loved Neville, so it was all an added bonus.

There was a small theatre nearby his place that was quiet and seldom fraught and that allowed them to spend their evenings together, with the walk towards it full of the most random topic the pair could come up with and the walk back usually occupied with their thoughts and opinions about the film they had just watched. Neither of them had been too well versed in muggle culture to begin with, but it was very easy to pick up, especially with the way the family-owned theatre would sometimes project well-known and older productions, instead of only showing the recent ones.

It made the muggle spectacle even more fascinating, in Blaise’s eyes.

“It was kind of poetic, like a rite of passage and everything, but I understand what you mean,” Blaise said as they kept on walking, itching to grab Neville’s hand but holding himself back for the time being: they were still under the scrutiny of the public eye, after all. He’d have to wait until they turned two corners and were finally alone in the streets to finally place his hands on his boyfriend’s. With moderation, of course. “I feel like the story isn’t finished, especially with the way they had the doctor become an Agent. I understand that she had had her memory wiped more times than Lockhart, but she seemed fine! I don’t know, that ending left me pretty unsatisfied as well.”

His boyfriend huffed out a laugh at that and began to silently shake his head: “Lockhart got obliviated only once, by his own spell bouncing back from Ron’s broken wand. Compared to him, that doctor got her brain scrambled on the daily. But you’re right, it would have been so much better if she kept her job and was on the loop with the alien stuff.”

“Speaking of Lockhart, I wonder how’s he doing…” Blaise inquired, scratching his neck. It had been over three years since anyone had heard of the famous wizard and pretty much everyone had seemed to have forgotten about him. It was such a mystery for some, his sudden disappearance after his year teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Yet again, pretty much all the students at Hogwarts knew of the curse on that position, which made his absence plausible, but to have such a well renowned and celebrated man vanish into thin air after publishing a controversial book where he told the world he had no memory of who he had ever been, it was more than suspicious.

“At St. Mungo’s, giving out autographs Godric knows what for,” Neville answered his implicit question with nonchalance, “I see him sometimes when I go visit Mum and Dad.”

During the time they had been together, Neville had slowly begun to tell Blaise about what had happened to his family: how they were members of the original Order of the Phoenix, fighting the Dark Lord during the First War; how Dumbledore had suggested they hid as well as the Potters, because of some prophecy that would connect their children with the Dark Lord himself; how, after he was defeated and the Potters were killed, his parents were tracked down by four remaining Death Eaters and tortured to insanity; how they now stayed at St. Mungo’s, without a single memory of their son, completely out of their minds.

Blaise had always been cold and calculative and preferred to keep a rational outlook to the world, but when he saw, for the first time since that new information, Bellatrix Lestrange, at Malfoy Manor, free and enjoying life, his blood had begun to boil. He had never wanted to murder someone as much as he did in that moment, forcing himself to maintain a smile on his face and to pretend like he wasn’t ready to slaughter someone. When he came back home that night after dinner with Draco and his wretched family, he had spent an entire hour in the shower, scrubbing at his skin as if he could erase the memory of that wretched woman, drinking wine and telling them all about the Cruciatus Curse and how useful it could be to a dark wizard. He had kept that piece of information hidden from Neville, even though he had recounted pretty much the entire evening the following day, while his boyfriend attempted to calm him down from his homicidal plans, without truly knowing what had instigated them.

And he would never know, for Blaise would go to any lengths to avoid his sweet and loving boyfriend any pain. He had already suffered too much, in his short life.

“Really, he’s at St. Mungo’s?” Blaise asked, trying to distract himself from those dark thoughts. When he was with Neville, it almost felt as if Death Eaters didn’t exist, as if the Dark Lord hadn’t risen again, as if they weren’t on the verge of War. “I thought the whole ‘Who Am I?’ book was all a plan to disappear after he botched our second year without being bothered and now you tell me that Weasley sent him to the healers and basically deprived the Wizarding World of that perfectly blinding smile?” Neville playfully shoved him to the side with his shoulder, lingering a little in his touch as they kept on walking, just as restless as he was to be behind closed doors and to have their privacy and safety: “Ron didn’t send him anywhere and he got what he deserved,” he commented sheepishly, regarding Blaise with a blinding smile of his own.

And Blaise definitely preferred his boyfriend’s smile, so true and sincere and warm and just perfect, rather than anything their former fraud of a professor had ever shared.

“He spent the entire year pretending he could do shit and leaving me hanging from the ceiling, multiple times, and then, at the first sign that he needed to be a responsible adult, he tried to Obliviate Harry and Ron and leave Ginny down with the Basilisk. They got so lucky that Lockhart took Ron’s wand that still hadn’t been repaired, otherwise they’d all still be down there.” Then, as if in an afterthought, he added: “And don’t worry, he still got that smile,” his face reddened and visible even in the dimly lit street.

“No need being jealous of a man who isn’t even worth the mud under your shoes, Nev,” he teased, enjoying how his boyfriend would stammer embarrassed at being discovered.

“I’m not jealous!” he defended himself, but the crimson on his cheeks spoke of another story.

Blaise itched to cup his cheeks and to feel the warmth of his skin, but they were still in the middle of a street that was fairly illuminated and with people around. Therefore he did the next best thing: returned on a safer conversational path. “Oh, yeah, I remember about Weasley’s wand,” he said, laughing at the memory, “It bounced back that Slug-vomiting charm that was aimed at Draco. We had a blast that day, when he told us the story.” “Glad some of you enjoyed it, with your sick sense of humour,” Neville said, shuffling his hands inside of his pockets as they moved closer and closer to the corner that would lead them to the apartment, “poor Ron had to carry a bucket wherever he went for two days straight!”

Blaise couldn’t help himself: maybe it was the serious way he defended his friend, or maybe it was the image of a tiny second-year Weasley carrying around the entire castle a bucket to throw up slugs in, undoubtedly aided by an equally tiny Saint Potter with a bewildered tiny Grander following suit and reprimanding them both, but he just burst up laughing, his entire body shaking with it as he put his hands over his stomach, to try and regain his composure.

Yet, all thoughts of etiquette were damned as soon as he heard his boyfriend join in, his own laugh bright and pure and just perfect.

And the icing on their cake laid in the fact that they were alone, without anyone watching them, and they could just be themselves. Blaise didn’t hesitate a moment into grabbing Neville’s hand, enjoying the warmth that the Gryffindor radiated. They kept on laughing and holding hands as they walked back to the one place they could call theirs.

They all but ran the few meters that kept them vulnerable, staggering over the stairs as if they were drunk. It was a somehow good paragon, considering how inebriated they were with each other, and Blaise couldn’t stop thinking about how wonderful his life was in that moment. He could just be himself, around Neville, without having to worry about composure or secrets or manners.

When they closed the door behind their backs and stumbled inside of the apartment, they didn’t even open the electrical lights up, too engrossed in making up for the time they hadn’t been allowed to share, close and up in each other’s personal space.

Blaise would’ve been content in simply existing there, in the tiny apartment that once belonged to his late father, with his hands up on his boyfriend’s hair as he worked and worried over Neville’s exposed neck, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt, watching him lean against a wall for support once his legs had given up completely. The outside world didn’t matter anymore, not to him, not when he had Neville’s hands on him. He’d be glad dying there, in his arms, unbothered by the imminent war, by his friends, by their duties.

But reality had to crash down on them at some point.

Neville removed his mouth from his, panting and with his eyes shut, savouring for one more moment their closeness. Blaise studied his face from the short distance, as he always loved doing, recognising his boyfriend’s reluctance to separate. Yet, his duty would win, as it always did, and he would take a step back, trying to recompose himself and running a hand through his hair.

It was long due a haircut, by now, but Blaise was an egoist and wanted the length to stay for a little longer. Besides, when September came, his grandmother would definitely cut it, even against Neville’s will. And Blaise would take whatever he could, when it came to going against Augusta Longbottom.

He hadn’t even met the woman yet and he had already accepted defeat, if it meant keeping Neville in his life. And, while he did not harbour any love for the witch, he was most certain he could keep an amicable front with her, at least, all for Neville’s sake.

That didn’t mean, though, that he didn’t try to stray her grandson into a different path than the one she wanted, at every corner: “Can’t you stay this once?” he asked in a low and sultry voice, fully conscious of what that tone did to his perfect Gryffindor boyfriend, refusing to take a step back and let a single centimetre separate the two of them.

He watched as Neville slowly opened his eyes in the dim light that was filtered by the window from the empty street below. He watched as his throat bobbed as he swallowed, trying to regain his breathing. He watched, powerless, as Neville slipped them over, switching their positions, effectively trapping him against the wall in his arms.

The Gryffindor bent down a little and placed the most chaste and sweet and anticlimactic kiss on Blaise’s lips, driving the Slytherin mad with want and desire, unable to do anything other than comply.

“You know I can’t, flower,” he murmured directly against Blaise’s lips, his own stretching in a wicked smile. Neville Longbottom knew exactly which buttons to press and when to use them all against him: Blaise couldn’t help the shiver that ran over his back at that simple word, still not used to the way the simple pet name made his toes curl and his heart beat out of his chest, nor could he help the sound of appreciation that came out of his throat, and that transformed immediately into one of disappointment as soon as his boyfriend untangled himself from him.

He tried to make some air reach his brain, when Neville stepped back from him once again, leaving him space to breathe and recollect himself while still being infuriatingly close, neither of them wanting to truly part despite their obligations.

“Yes, I unfortunately do…” he answered, still leaning against the wall. He ran his right thumb over his lips, enjoying the way the Gryffindor’s body stiffened at the sight as his eyes tracked the movement. He sometimes still couldn’t believe his luck, especially when Neville looked at him like that, as if he needed all of his strength just to hold back.

Most of the time, Blaise wished he didn’t, yet the knowledge that he was the one to make the apparently timid, placid Schlongbottom, as his friends still believed he was, lose his mind completely was intoxicating. And he lived for those moments and hours when Neville would let go of his composure fully, causing Blaise to follow suit without a single complaint. Because he couldn’t be the farthest from timid or placid, but only he saw that side of him, only he got to enjoy that part of his sweet and amazing boyfriend.

“What are you going to do tomorrow?” Blaise asked almost out of the blue, conscious already of the reply, but wanting to steal some more time alone with the Gryffindor.

He didn’t particularly care that he was abiding by the stereotype that Slytherins were manipulating and tempting, not when Neville would shoot him a blinding but cocky smile as he fired back: “Already missing me?”

“Always.”

“I told you, I’m going to help Luna find a dress for the wedding and Grandma’s organised that family gathering to celebrate my 17th…” he trailed off, scratching the back of his neck, to try to make his blushing less noticeable. Unfortunately for him, in doing so, he had involuntarily made his shirt rise a little, showing off the skin beneath, and Blaise was not going to let such an opportunity pass: he moved closer and snug his arms around his boyfriend’s midriff, planting his hands in the small of his back. “Remind me again why I can’t crash her party and steal you away?” he asked casually, next to his ear, before he began to worry the earlobe with his teeth.

Neville seemed to be at a loss for words under Blaise’s ministrations, which was entirely his goal, but he eventually did manage to speak again: “Because she doesn’t know about us, since if she did we’ll never hear the end of it ‘cause we were keeping this a secret, and you are a Slytherin and I am a Gryffindor, and because she is not allowing me to invite any friends,” he said, his voice firm and unfaltering, despite the way his hands were holding Blaise close to him, silently begging to keep up with his work.

Not that he was planning to stop anytime soon. Still, some words at the back of his throat itched to be said: “I have a few words I’d like to tell your grandmother and none of them are kind,” Blaise claimed, staring right into Neville’s eyes and wondering how such a stern woman could raise such a loving man. While it was true that she had laid off his back for the time being, she had doubled down on her questions about Neville’s private life: the poor Gryffindor had to retort to lying simply to avoid her finding out about their relationship. It was a good thing that he had quite a vast number of friends and that said friends didn’t interact with his grandmother, because, based on Blaise’s very own experience with pureblood families, everyone knew everything, especially when ‘keeping the lines pure’ was involved and everyone turned out to be related.

For instance, Neville’s white lie for that day’s activity was very simple: “I’m going to play Quidditch with my roommates and we’ll have dinner afterwards.”

When Neville had told him as much, Blaise had exploded into laughter and disbelief. Was it believable for his boyfriend to play Quidditch? Absolutely not, but he shared a dormitory with Weasley, Thomas and Saint Potter, therefore he played by proxy. It would have equally been absurd for his grandmother to and not to believe him, which was what made the lie incredibly clever.

Blaise shook his head as he silently snickered at the fresh memory, still hesitant to remove his hands from his boyfriend’s body: “Anyway, who’s getting married now that we’re almost on the brink of war?” he inquired, truly curious. A wedding in the Wizarding World was a very public event, especially when pureblood families were involved, which they must have been, if Lovegood was invited.

All of his friends still kept on calling her Loony, but he had stopped using that epithet, since he had begun to consider her a friend as well, thanks to their mutual connection to Neville. And she was an excellent friend, both to him and his boyfriend, kind and compassionate and considerate.

He had already begun to wonder about who the couple must have been, considering no one in his circles had mentioned anything, when Neville spoke, making him understand exactly why nobody amongst the purebloods he spent his time around had even known or cared about such a thing: “Bill Weasley, Ron’s eldest brother, and Fleur Delacour.”

“The Triwizard Champion? How did they even meet?” he inquired, now even more curious. He had seen the eldest Weasley only once, at Gringotts, and it was in that moment that he first began to question whether or not he was straight. And, to pair that with Beauxbatons’ champion, well… That must have been a hell of a good looking couple!

“I don’t know,” Neville said, leaning his head against Blaise’s shoulder and looking at him with a soft smile through his eyelashes, “but they’re super cute together, at least that’s what Ginny told me.” “And you haven’t been invited?” His boyfriend shrugged at that, Blaise knew he did not particularly care about mundane events and being into the public eye: “No, from what Ginny told me it’s not going to be that big of a ceremony. Only family, close friends of the couple, and neighbours. Which is why Luna’s going, as well as to spend time with Ginny.”

“That’s a shame you won’t be there,” he commented, running for the umpteenth time that eventing his hands through Neville’s hair, as the other wizard stayed there, merely enjoying his ministration while he tried not to fall asleep. It had happened already once, right before he had to leave, and that incident had prompted his grandmother into a speech about the right of an adolescent Gryffindor to a little bit of rule-breaking. “I bet you would’ve looked dashing in a suit.”

“Jealous, darling? You know you could always look at me in a suit, if you’d just let me borrow one…” “Not a chance, caro. Mine are all tailored to perfection for my body,” he said playfully, moving his head to the side to place a small kiss on Neville’s nose, causing the other wizard to blush and giggle, “Besides, I prefer seeing you without a single stitch.” “Blaise! You can’t just say shit like that!” his boyfriend spluttered, trying to get away from his words as if they had just tickled him. He loved the way Neville would get all cute and embarrassed. His usual tell was the blush that started on his cheeks and spread throughout his body, and that was incredibly adorable. Blaise had tried to see just how farther the colour could spread, but he had been distracted in his path, somehow. “Why not? No one is listening and it’s true!” he had begun to retort, only to be shut up quickly as two lips pressed against his own, soft yet insistent, gentle yet commanding. One thing had to be said about Neville Longbottom and that was how efficient he was at quieting him with a single gesture, whether with a kiss or by simply occupying his mind with the little things he always did, essentially being himself, unfiltered.

It took them less time than usual to resurface for once, mainly because Blaise still wanted to know more about the hot new wizarding couple that could definitely take over the world, if the Dark Lord wouldn’t win.

He desperately prayed he wouldn’t, for countless different reasons.

“When is this marvellous event?” he asked, still refusing to put a single millimetre of space in between them.

“In three days, on the first. Luna’s absolutely on her last chance, looking for the perfect dress that won’t attire Wrackspurts,” he commented, shaking his head. Something inside of Blaise told him that it wasn’t the first nor the second time they went out shopping and, if Lovegood was anything like Pansy, it must have not been an easy task chaperoning. Pansy Parkinson could try on an entire street of boutiques, buy every single item of her size, and still lament she had nothing to wear.

“Why? Wanna meet up? I thought we were going for lunch on the second,” Neville added, pulling him out of the horror of the memory of the first time that witch had discovered French Haute Couture: a tornado would’ve left behind less damage.

“Yeah, I’ve been invited to Draco’s for dinner on the first, with all the others…” he trailed off, remembering exactly what had been discussed the previous night amongst the Death Eaters. It wasn’t unusual for Draco and Theo to invite him over, especially since they both believed he was fully on the Dark Lord’s side but was merely acting precious, never truly giving in. And he couldn’t deny an invitation, otherwise it would have looked suspicious. After all, his friends knew that he was staying all alone in London, away from his family, and that he wasn’t fooling around with anyone, which, in their eyes, meant he had a lot of free time.

Free time that they tried to occupy, not wanting to leave him completely alone. Thankfully, they weren’t overbearing, having him over every couple of days or so, respecting his privacy, but whenever an invitation came, he had to follow through.

Now, he couldn’t exactly tell his friends: “No, I’ll pass on spending time with you, I’m going to go watch muggle entertainment with my Gryffindor boyfriend,” could he?

Luckily for his relationship, though, the invites were rather old fashioned, called days prior, and that left him and Neville plenty of time to organize. The only person in their friend group that liked to show up uninvited or unannounced by an owl was Pansy, but she would’ve stayed in Spain until the mid of August, which meant Blaise could breathe a little without having to worry about her finding out his secret. Draco and Theo were way too busy in their official Death Eater work to even want to hang out with him in the mornings and afternoons anyway.

“What is it, B?” Neville asked, undoubtedly feeling the way his shoulders had tensed from up close. His hold on Blaise became slightly tighter, grounding and real, while still remaining gentle, letting him know that they were alright and, no matter what happened, they’d be okay.

Closing his eyes and leaning against his boyfriend’s shoulder, he began to recount what he had eavesdropped: “When I was at Theo’s last night, his father and his uncle were talking about something that went bad for them the day before, so on the 27th, and how the Dark Lord was more than displeased. All I got were hushed words about a failed kidnapping, I believe, and how the Dark Lord had completely exploded against his followers in anger, even though he had no idea who to even blame and punish. But then his father moved onto a different topic and said that they’d have their victory in a couple of days anyway, that they needed to wait, that they couldn’t lose, that August would be their month of victory. But he didn’t explain what exactly he had meant, without a doubt to keep us ‘children’ in the dark. I couldn’t really understand much, Crabbe had gone off about some bullshit of his and they were speaking in a low voice on the opposite side of the table, but the intent was clear. Something big is about to happen.” “Blaise…”

“I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, but they don’t fully trust anyone who doesn’t have the Mark. Besides, they consider us children, even Draco doesn’t know much and he let the bloody Death Eaters into Hogwarts! They know he’s loyal, or at least think so, ‘cause he was at some meetings with the Dark Lord himself. Yet they still don’t tell us shit. Not even to Theo, who’s more of a fanatic than a follower. And I am not going to taint my arm with that disgusting thing anytime soon, even if that would help. But it’s so frustrating and…” he continued, still refusing to open his eyes: he knew he should’ve told that story to Neville earlier, but he had got distracted by their date; he knew he should’ve contacted Professor McGonagall, warning her about what was going on and whose side he was on, but he was terrified he’d be intercepted somehow; he knew he was a terrible spy and that his motive was entirely egotistical, fuelled only by his will to keep Neville safe, and he couldn’t do anything about any of that.

War was coming and Blaise Zabini was powerless against it, unable to do anything concrete.

It wasn’t until he felt warm lips on his forehead and felt warm hands on either side of his face, gently holding him together, that he stopped his rambling. He usually wasn’t like this, letting his mind wander and his mouth running to catch up, at least not in front of other people, because it could potentially be dangerous and could bring unwanted questions. “Rule number eighteen: do not blabber, unless you intend to become a thespian and need practice for monologues,” his mother always said and he preferred to maintain a decent amount of control over the words that came out of him, never going into a rampage, unlike Draco did whenever he messed up his hair, yet never appearing bothered by the simple act of speaking, unlike Theo, who favoured monosyllabic replies to everything. His was always a perfect balance, studied to the last detail to make his speeches and his sentences reach the point and the mind of those who lent him their ears.

Rule number nineteen was: “do not fall in love with a thespian unless they’re a muggle actor from Hollywood,” yet Blaise knew he wouldn’t use that rule. Not anymore and hopefully not ever.

Still, of course, as it had become a routine in his life, everything about him became erratic and unpredictable when he was with Neville. He had found himself digress many times and he was always quite shocked when he realised how far he had gone from his initial path, much to his boyfriend’s delight and amusement. “I like seeing you ruffled,” he had admitted once, earning a copy of ‘Advanced Potion Making’ chucked at his head as they both laughed, with Blaise trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

“Blaise, my love, calm down,” Neville whispered softly against his forehead, hugging him closer and managing to reassure him without wearing him down with his own emotions, “I’m sure everything will be fine. The Order probably knows already that something’s about to happen. Besides, McGonagall’s in there as well, she’s not going to let anything happen, bad or not. Everything will be alright and I’ll come here on the second just like we planned to. You gotta trust me.”

He took a deep, steadying breath as he tried to ground himself back again. Neville’s presence helped greatly, as he had already told the other wizard countless times. “I trust you, more than anyone else,” he admitted, staring straight into his brown eyes as if they could hold all of the Universe’s answers, “But promise you won’t jump headfirst if something happens.” “Of course, I’ll stay home with Grandma as much as I can, when I don’t have my powerful Slytherin around to protect me. Besides, I’m pretty sure You Know Who will stay out of her path, she’s almost as scary as McGonagall!” Neville joked, causing Blaise to shake his head: Gryffindor antics were hard to knock off, it seemed. And, even if he was already wildly intimidated by Augusta Longbottom and she might make the Dark Lord reconsider his career path with her umbrella and her hats, theirs was not a topic to take lightly. “Neville, I’m serious.” “I know.”

Blaise scoffed at that and removed himself from their embrace, allowing space in between their bodies to better convey his message: “I know I can’t make you promise me you’ll stay put, ‘cause you won’t. But can you swear to me that you won’t risk your life recklessly?” he asked, unbothered if some of his desperation seeped into his voice. He knew he could let his walls down around his boyfriend, after all. “You mean like a Gryffindor,” came immediately the reply as Neville crossed his arms over his chest, now that he had the space to do so. “Nev…” “Only if you swear on Slytherin himself that as soon as shit starts to go down, you’ll get to safety,” he intercepted him, stopping Blaise before he could go on another tangent about House Values, “I need to know you’ll be careful.” Blaise nodded at that, he could understand the sentiment: of course his boyfriend would want him safe. But times were darkening by the hour and soon neither of them would probably know what safety even meant.

“Let’s make a deal:” he suggested, already knowing that Neville would agree to his plans, even if they were half-assed ideas about sneaking inside of a muggle library just to study and recreate the ambience of Hogwarts’ own, “usually I’m back from Draco’s around midnight. If nothing happens, we’ll just see each other in the morning after, as we planned. But if the world ends, meet me here at midnight. Sneak past your grandmother or stun her, since you won’t have to worry about the Trace by then. But just, come here, please.”

“The world’s not going to end, my love. Not on my watch,” Neville said, holding once again both of his hands in his and placing a soft kiss on his thumbs.

With the Gryffindor, it was all about the soft and subtle touches, the small moments. Blaise had dived into their relationship wanting to keep it hidden to avoid uproar by the entire school, yet he had been surprised when Neville hadn’t complained about their subtlety; he had almost expected the dorky plant-head to be the most PDA-indulging being in their entire school and it had been unexpected, yet not unwelcomed, his quiet way of giving affection, even when they were all alone and safe.

“Thank you, my mighty Gryffindor,” he replied with a flourish, pondering the pros and cons of bowing. On one hand, he’d keep up his theatrics that seemed to amuse Neville to no end, but on the other, he’d have to let go of his boyfriend’s hands, which was something he wasn’t willing to do. Neville, as always, resolved his qualm without a second thought: he playfully shoved Blaise away with a push from his hands, before pulling him back closer and making him crash against his torso. “Besides, it’s not like we’re not going to see each other before then! What did you say we would do again…?” Blaise saw right through his feeble attempt at distraction immediately: “Nope, I’m not going to tell you, it’s a surprise!” he exclaimed, placing a placating kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. He had already planned the entirety of their date since he found out the plant-head wouldn’t be free on his birthday: they’d start the day by having lunch at a Chinese restaurant Neville had particularly enjoyed and then they’d move to visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, allowing for them to spend the entire afternoon and evening there, since he already knew very well that his boyfriend would get distracted with every single leaf. And Blaise loved when Neville got side-tracked to talk about plants, even if he didn’t care about the ‘green things’ himself, so it would be a win-win. “Please, B, you know I don’t really like surprises!” he lamented, but Blaise was adamant on his position. “Mio caro, you’ll have to suffer then.” “You’re so mean to me.” Blaise kissed the tip of his nose once more, giggling at the way it involuntarily twitched under his lips: “Yeah, but you love me nevertheless.” What followed was a bad series of sloppy kisses and giggles shared between them as they walked in tandem next to the fireplace, miraculously avoiding tripping over furniture. They knew it was time for Neville to leave, but they were both incredibly reluctant to let go.

“Goodnight, then,” Blaise said, attempting without any real intent to put some space in between them, and he was almost immediately followed by Neville’s own: “Goodnight,” spoken directly against his lips as he removed his hands from around the Gryffindor’s torso, giving a little push to create some distance in between them. “I love you,” Neville sing-sang as he grabbed a handful of Floo Powder, waiting for Blaise’s reply before disappearing into the Network. “I love you too, but go before your grandmother decides to murder me for keeping her grandson away from home all the time!”

And with that, Neville Longbottom had gone back home, leaving Blaise alone in the quiet apartment, his laugh still ringing clearly in his ears against the deafening silence. The place always seemed to lose its warmth as soon as his boyfriend left and so he shrugged on a jumper he had ‘borrowed’ from the Gryffindor, without his knowledge and without any real intent on giving it back.

He was not as naïve as Neville was sometimes, still believing that everything would be alright in spite of all the signs pointing to Hell, but he knew that they would be together even if the world did fall off its axis, and that thought warmed him more than any fire could.

And with that, plus the jumper, he tried to fall asleep, ignoring the way his heart pounded at the uncertainty of his future.

But, of one thing only he was certain: he’d stay by Neville’s side and he’d stay at his, no matter what.

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trashyswitch · 3 years

Text

Papa J and his Little Virgil

Virgil is in his little space, meaning he had regressed to the mind of a child. In this case, Virgil has been known to regress to the mind of an 8 year old. Still quite young, but filled with curious facts and endless energy. Janus was the first person to ever know about Virgil's little space. So, Janus had taken on the role as his caregiver when he's regressed.

This prompt was suggested by an anonymous person who signed off with a ~🐶! It was SO CUTE! And thank you for the cute prompt! And I hope you enjoy, oh secretive one!

Also, Happy Birthday Virgil! 💜

Virgil was running around the house in his pj’s, pretending to fly a toy plane. He was making raspberry sounds to imitate the plane sound and was running through the different rooms in the house. One of the rooms that Virgil happened to run into, was Janus’s.

“And now, we are flying over North Korea: The most mystery country ever! No one really knows a lot about this country.” Virgil narrated at Janus’s room door. Suddenly, Janus opened the door. “Who taught you that?” Janus asked with a smirk.

Virgil smiled. “Logan did.” Virgil replied with a giggle.

“Hmm...So I’m North Korea: the mysterious country. Tell me:” Janus leaned in with a smile. “Which country is Logan?” Janus asked.

Virgil put his hand on his own chin and rubbed it. “Hmmm…” Virgil hummed. “Swizzerland!” Virgil declared.

Janus laughed. “That’s really accurate, actually!” Janus reacted as he started walking out of his room and down the hall. “What about Patton? What country is Patton?” Janus asked.

Virgil looked at Janus eagerly. “That’s easy! Canada!” Virgil replied proudly.

Janus giggled. “Not bad! Not bad at all!” Janus kept walking around the house. “What about Roman?” Janus asked.

Virgil thought for a moment. “Oh, oh, oh! France!” Virgil declared.

“Aah, yes. Specifically Paris: the country of love, and theatre.” Janus added.

“Yes!” Virgil replied.

Janus smiled. “What about Remus?” he asked with a big smirk.

Virgil laughed. “USA.” Virgil replied.

“Make America gay again.” Janus joked. Virgil laughed and nodded.

As the boys entered the kitchen, Janus started looking in the cupboards. “What would you like for lunch, Virgey?” Janus asked.

Virgil quickly turned to look at Janus. “Macaroni and cheese please!” Virgil declared.

“Would you like hotdogs mixed in?” Janus asked.

“Oooooh! Yes please!” Virgil replied.

Janus quickly put together a pot of mac & cheese with hotdogs and placed two bowls down. “Lunch is served!” Janus declared.

“Thank yooouuu!” Virgil cooed happily and dug right in.

Janus smiled. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Janus replied.

The two of them enjoyed the macaroni and cheese and talked non-stop. Whenever Virgil entered into his little space, he was a surprisingly talkative boy! He always had something to talk about! Whether it was the tv show he watched on youtube, or which stuffies he played with this morning! He always found something new to talk about.

After lunch, Janus played doctor with Virgil. Janus let Virgil be his doctor, and Virgil used the different doctor kit items on him! Janus had bought Virgil two separate doctor kits, for realistic or childish moments. He bought Virgil a Future Doctor’s Medical Kit for realism and actual education, and a Kidzlane sturdy doctor kit for playing pretend! Right now, Virgil was playing with a bit of both.

“Your heart’s good.” Virgil told him, removing the end of the stethoscope off Janus’s shirt and taking the ear pieces off himself.

Janus smiled. “That’s good.”

Next, Virgil grabbed the otoscope and started looking in Janus’s ears. For this, Virgil used the realistic one to look inside his ears canals. Then, he looked through the other ear. “Your ears look clean!” Virgil declared as he removed the otoscope cover piece.

Janus clapped his hands. “Yay!” He cheered.

Virgil grabbed the thermometer from the kid's case, and started pushing the tip against his head. The tip was springy, so the tip of the thermometer would push into the thermometer rather than his forehead. “No fever! You’re healthy!” Virgil declared.

“Hallelujah!” Janus replied happily.

“And now for reflexes!” Virgil grabbed the reflex hammer and started lightly tapping it onto Janus’s knee. “Okay. Your reflexes are good.” Virgil told him.

“That’s good. Now, can I test your reflexes?” Janus asked.

Virgil nodded with a smile and handed him the reflex hammer. But Janus put the reflex hammer down beside him and instead, started squeezing his sides. “EEEK! Hahahahahahaha! Pahahapahaha!” Virgil giggled. “Yohohou’re tihihicklihihihing mehehe!”

“No I’m not. I’m trying to test your reflexes but you’re being very squirmy.” Janus told him as he moved to his belly.

“Ihihihit tihihicklehehehes, Jahahahay! Thahahahat’s whyhyhy Ihihi’m squihihihirmihihing!” Virgil told him.

“Oh! You’re squirming because my reflex-testing is tickling you?” Janus asked.

“Yehehehehehessss!” Virgil giggled lightly.

“Well now, why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Janus asked as he moved his hand away.

“Ihi dihihid though. Ihihi told you thahat whehehen you wehere ticklihing mehehe!” Virgil reacted, still a big giggly.

“Hmmm...I don’t think that’s how it really went though…” Janus teased.

Virgil would’ve protested to that statement, but his words caught in his throat when he saw Janus’s hand moving a little. Virgil widened his eyes. He knew EXACTLY what Janus was planning. “P-papa! Your hand!” Virgil reacted.

“Huh?” Janus looked over at his own hand and sure enough, it was twitching and moving, supposedly on its own. Janus gasped dramatically. “Oh no! It looks like the eeevil tickle hand is back! And he’s getting reeeeaaally hungry!” Janus reacted as he started crawling his hand around a bit more.

Virgil shrunk down with a blushy face and an endless stream of giggles falling out of his mouth. “Pahahahapahahaha! Cohohome ohohon!” Virgil giggled.

Janus looked over at the hand. “Now, what on earth does THAT mean?” He asked the hand. “Does it mean ‘come on and hurry up’?” Janus asked playfully.

“Nohohohoho!” Virgil giggled, covering his mouth as giggles continued to spill out of his mouth.

“I think that’s exactly what he means! Virgil wants tickles just as much as you want some delicious laughy snacks!” Janus declared to the hand.

Janus let out a roaring sound and lightly tackled Virgil down with his hand. Then, the hand crawled around and started tickling his belly and belly button.

Virgil squealed and burst into a fit of giggles and laughter! “HEHEhehehehey! PapahahAHAHAHA STAHAHAP!” Virgil yelled as more and more laughter poured out.

“What? I’m not doing anything! The hand is doing all the work!” Janus lied.

“STAHAHAP TIHIHIHICKLIHIHING MEHEHEHE, EHEVIL HAHAHAND!” Virgil declared.

The hand paused its tickling for a few moments. Virgil took the moment to slightly recover from the slight loss of oxygen from the laughing fits. But soon, the hand walked itself up to Virgil’s vulnerable ribs and started digging and squeezing. “Oh my! It looks like the hand has decided to have some delicious ribs with barbecue sauce on them!” Janus declared. “And telling by the looks of his digging, it seems to REALLY like it!” Janus added.

Virgil squealed and laughed happily. “RIHIHIB EHEHEHEATIHIHING TIHIHIHICKLEHEHES! AHAHAHA LOHOHOHOT!” Virgil admitted.

“Does it really tickle that much? I wonder...would cows be laughing too if their ribs were being eaten?” Janus asked.

“NOHOHOHOHO! COHOHOWS AHAHAREN’T TIHIHIHICKLIHISH!” Virgil yelled back.

“Oh yeah...I guess you do have to be ticklish in order to laugh when touched on the ribs.” Janus muttered out loud. “Oh well!” Janus declared as he started to pretend ‘pull some of the rib meat off’ and brought it up to himself. “Ooooh!” Janus pretended to eat it. “Mmmm! Thank you, evil hand!” He said politely to his own hand.

Virgil threw his head back with a wheeze. “EHEHEHEWWW! THAHAHAT’S SOHOHOHO GROHOHOSS!” Virgil reacted as he laughed.

“Is it?” Janus asked. Then, he skittered his fingers on his ribs again and ‘pulled some more rib meat off his ribs’. Janus lifted the hand up to Virgil’s face. “You want some?” Janus asked casually.

Virgil dropped his jaw in surprise and pushed his hand away. “Ew! No!”

Janus just lost his serious composure completely and bursted out laughing! “YOHOHOHOUR FAHAHAHACE!” Janus laughed.

“You’re more yucky than Remus!” Virgil reacted with a giggle.

“Yeheheah...Ihihi ahaham.” Janus replied.

“Maybe I should be nibbling on your ribs too!” Virgil declared, walking up to Janus and pinned him down. Virgil bent down and started pretending to nibble on Janus’s lower ribs first. “Om nom nom nom nom! Om nom nom nom nom nom!”

Janus squeaked almost immediately and covered his mouth as laughter started spilling out. Even though Virgil was technically a little right now, he was genuinely really good at tickling people! And it didn’t help that Virgil was in the body of an adult.

But the retaliation didn’t last very long before Janus was tickling him back. “NO! WAHAHAIT! WHAHAHAHAT?! WHAHAHAT HAHAPPEHEHENED TO REHEVEHEHENGE?!” Virgil asked.

“Revenge is over! It’s my turn now!” Janus picked Virgil up by the armpits and blew a raspberry on his belly.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOOOOHOHOHOHOHO FAHAHAHAIR!” Virgil pushed against Janus’s head in a fruitless attempt to push him away.

Janus blew raspberry after raspberry onto Virgil’s belly to keep him in an endless stream of giggles and laughs. Virgil was wiggling and waving his arms around wildly, laughing hysterically. His belly button was way too ticklish to be tormented with so many raspberries. Why must Janus be like this?

“OHOHOKAHAHAHAY! BREHEHEHEHEAK PLEHEHEHEASE!” Virgil told him.

“Oh yeah! I guess you need to breathe, huh?” Janus mentioned before laying Virgil down onto his back. Janus laid beside Virgil and rested his hands against the back of his head.

“Thahahank yohohou-” Virgil turned his head to Janus, only to get an elbow into the forehead. “Pahapa! Your elbows are stealing all the room!” Virgil reacted.

“Oh are they? How unfortunate.” Janus joked.

Virgil giggled and started very lightly spidering his fingers on Janus’s inner arms. “Move over.”

“Janus quickly pulled his arm against his own side and giggled. “Hehey now! What did I say about tickling your papa’s arms?” Janus asked, bouncing his pointer finger at him.

Virgil smirked and rolled himself onto Janus. With one quick swoop, Virgil pinned Janus’s arm down and resumed spidering. Janus squawked in surprise and couldn’t help the giggles that bubbled up and out of his mouth. “Ohoho geheheez! Nohohohoho! Hahahahahaha!” Janus bapped his arms with his free hand as he struggled to get himself unpinned. “Knohohock ihihihit ohohohoff!” Janus told him.

“Am I not allowed to get revenge on my ticklish papa?” Virgil asked.

“Nohohohoho!” Janus replied.

“That rule was never made before. And I don’t like that rule.” Virgil declared.

Virgil slowly moved his fingers to Janus’s vulnerable armpit. Janus quickly started tugging harder as more hysterical laughs started spilling from his mouth. “HOHOHOHOLD OHOHOHON! VIHIHIRGIHIHIL!” Janus laughed, shaking his head back and forth. “STAHAHAHAHAP!”

“Tickle tickle tickle, Papa J!” Virgil teased.

“TEHEHEHEASIHIHING TOHOHOHOO?! YOHOHOU AHAHARE IHIN SOHOHO MUHUHUHUCH TROHOHOHOUBLE!” Janus warned.

Virgil just gave Janus a toothy smile and continued to tickle Janus on his armpit. But Janus, being the strong man he was, started scratching little Virgil’s side to gain the upper hand again. Virgil quickly let go and reached down to stop him, but Janus was already one step ahead of him. Janus pulled Virgil into a big hug and started tweaking and squeezing his ribs again.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAPIHIT-” Janus climbed himself onto Virgil’s waist and quickly skittered his fingers everywhere he could reach. “NAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JAHAHAHAHAN!”

“Why would I stop if you like it?” Janus asked, lifting up his arm and tickling in his armpit.

Virgil giggled and tugged on his arm weakly. “Ihihihi guehehehess thahahat’s truhuhuhue.” Virgil added. Janus could tell this was also the inner adult Virgil talking.

“So you admit it? You like being tickled?” Janus asked.

“Ohohohof cohohourse Ihihihi dohohoho! Whohoho wohohouldn’t lohohove beheheihing tihihihicklehed?” Virgil asked.

“Lots of people actually.” Janus replied, stopping his fingers.

Virgil looked up at Janus with sad, big eyes. “What?” He asked.

“Some people don’t like being tickled. Some people find it annoying, embarrassing or childish. Logan is a good example of someone who doesn’t like being tickled.” Janus explained.

Virgil frowned and pouted with his arms crossed. “Logan’s thinking old. He needs to stop acting like an old man.” Virgil told Janus.

“I know. But try telling a man who speaks with logic in all his sentences.” Janus told him.

Virgil looked up at Janus. “He sounds smart, but I know there’s something he doesn’t know.” Virgil told him.

Janus smirked. “Like what?” He asked.

“Like how fun being tickled can be!” Virgil added. “And how to see without glasses.” Virgil added.

Janus laughed at that last part. “Ihihi don’t think you can learn that, buddy.” Janus muttered to him. “But do you wanna go bother Logan for a bit? Maybe show him your doctor kit?” Janus asked.

Virgil gasped and quickly gathered up his pretend doctor kit. “Yes!” Virgil picked up the case that carried the doctor items and ran to the nerd’s room, yelling “LOGAN! LOGAN! LOOK WHAT I HAVE!” into the room.

Janus sat himself down and gave himself a much needed break. It was quite amusing and fun to look after Virgil when he’s a little. Yes, it was tiring, but it was always somewhat rewarding. Tickling was always one thing that he really enjoyed, especially what he’s a little. So Janus always makes sure to add some tickles into their playing.

...And then there’s Logan who ends up getting destroyed with tickles, whether he dislikes it or not...Little Virgil never did understand the meaning of ‘no’.

#age play little virgil #age play caregiver Janus #non-sexual age play #ticklefic #switch!janus #switch!virgil #lee!logan

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bedbellyandbeyond · 4 years

Text

Mystery Baby Theatre, Part 1

(Short Story Post, 1/6)

“Hola, I am Carloco, and welcome back to another episode of ‘Mystery Baby Theatre’! My fiancé, Reggie Twink is here with us. Reg, show the locas what you’re wearing. Driving me crazy over here... Damn.” Reggie came over to his partner, showing off a faded maroon crop top over his pale mostly slim body. The curve of his belly so far could only be caught from a profile view, so he did a little turn, cupping the base of his abdomen. “That’s right, loca. It’s that time of the year. Another little enigma is on the way.” Nine years they’d been together and to think it started as a fluke. When they first met, Carlos’s channel ‘Carloco’, described by some as ‘the Gay Man’s Jackass’, was an overnight hit, and Reggie’s own more established channel, ‘Reggie Twink’ had been doing well for two years already, discussing the sexual experience of trans men. They hooked up for the clout, but they didn’t expect to actually get along so well and when Reggie’s pregnancy announcement video went viral, they figured it was time to commit and moved in together. “What are we on now, Reg? So many kids…” Carlos asked. “Seven? Eight?”

“This is baby número nueve,” Reggie replied holding up his fingers. “Is that right? Nine?” Carlos grinned and bit Reggie’s ear. “Perfect. You know I love it when you speak Spanish…” Reggie grinned, rubbing between Carlos’s legs. “Thank god these babies aren’t symphonies, or else this’d be the end for us.” Carlos rolled his eyes. “Babe, nobody gets your classical music jokes…” “A lot of composers died after making their ninth symphony,” Reggie explained, pouting. “I thought it was funny…” “Hm, we can edit that out later.” “Babe!” “I’m joking, I’m joking!” Carlos chuckled. “Calm down. I love you. You’re the smart one.” “That’s right. You’re lost without me.” “I really am…” Their first pregnancy, though extremely popular with the fans, had been quite a struggle for the couple. They were both still technically in college at the time, so time and money were limited. Reggie struggled through his year but he was determined to achieve academically and chose to retire his channel so he could concentrate on school and his pregnancy. Carlos on the other hand dropped out of college to do videos full-time. Many fans were heartbroken by Reggie’s retirement, so ‘Reggie Twink’ came back for the birth of their son, in all it’s graphic glory, as a feature on Carlos’s channel. The video was taken down within minutes, but fans had managed to download it anyway and it had been reuploaded by fans countless times. Videos they made later featuring baby boy Vance became incredibly popular and the channel started really taking off with the little family on screen. But it wasn’t always sunshine and daisies. Scandal broke out when photos came out of Reggie caught in public kissing a mystery man. This came just shortly after Carlos and Reggie announced baby number two was on the way. Reggie denied the photos, claiming the man in them didn’t look anything like him, but then the mystery man himself, Carlos’s own friend and hairstylist, admitted to an affair with Reggie, leading to Reggie’s own confession. It wasn’t just the mystery man, however. He admitted to having three other misters he’d been sleeping with since he started dating Carlos. “Breaking up with Reggie Twink” became Carloco’s most viewed video that year. When everyone thought it was over however, Carlos came out and proposed to Reggie. It came as a shock to everyone and the internet went insane. Carlos admitted that he didn’t mind Reggie sleeping with other men and in fact found it to be a huge turn on. The truth was, he was a mess without Reggie and the notion that the baby inside his stomach at that moment was highly likely some other man’s child drove him wild with lust. He wanted to be there for Reggie no matter what and if he was willing to be his husband, he wanted to live with no one else. The fans had never heard of a crazier love story and they ate it all up. When baby Brynn came, the birth video was uploaded again, and Carlos gave her his surname, letting everyone know he was serious about raising Reggie’s children. Not long after, Reggie was pregnant again, and the couple were open about the high likelihood that the baby was not biologically Carlos’s. The fans started spreading theories on who the true biological father could be based on the men Reggie was seen associating with. At this point, Carloco was doing so well, the couple was living easy and in luxury. Carlos hired a small team of staff to help with the production of his videos and every member with a penis was considered a possible baby daddy. Reggie’s belly got huge and it was soon revealed that he was having twins. The birth this time was much riskier, but it was still recorded like the last two and the twins were born naturally. Oddly, they had incredibly different features, and after paternity tests were done, they found out that Reggie had actually managed to get pregnant by two different men, neither of which were Carlos. Once again, the children were given the Fuerte name and were equally loved by the family. After the twins, Reggie took a little break from pregnancy. Family videos became a common feature on Carloco and they were seen doing everything together. Carlos continued to do his jackass style comedy on his channel, but nothing brought in the views quite like Reggie’s pregnancies. It wasn’t too long after that realisation that the bump began to swell again. Paternity speculations began to swarm again, and Reggie fed them by snapping pics with random men and throwing them up on his social media. No one could guess who he’d slept with and many were pretty sure he didn’t know either. Many were hoping for twins again, or maybe triplets, but he didn’t get very big and it seemed he wasn’t going to be able one up his past pregnancy. Until the baby came out with a tail. And not just any tail, a fish tail. People couldn’t believe it. Reggie had given birth to merspawn. This was the first time the couple made national news. Videos involving the merbaby trended for weeks and the family couldn’t even go outside without being harassed for photographs with the latest edition of the family. They were contacted by the APID multitude of times, but they refused to cooperate with the government beyond registering their child as non-human. Their fame made them wealthy beyond expectation and they moved into a bigger house in a more remote location to get away from the paparazzi. This didn’t stop their videos though, and it didn’t stop Reggie’s pregnancies. After the merbabe, a wolf child. After the werewolf, a cat spirit. After kitten, a Yulinian baby. It seemed there was no end to series of Reggie’s half-human line of children and they’d started to call the pregnancy videos ‘Mystery Baby Theatre’. Now with another on the way, the fans couldn’t even fathom what species Reggie had managed to impregnate himself with this time. “How many weeks?” Carlos asked, pulling Reggie into his lap in front of the camera. It was a living room shot and they were just chilling on their couch. The kids were being looked after by the nanny so they could film in peace. “Just five,” Reggie said, stroking his stomach. “Though I could swear I can already feel it kicking.” “Maybe you can. The only thing you’ve let me know is that it’s not human.” Carlos placed a hand on Reggie’s belly and held it there. He was always obsessed with Reggie’s belly through every pregnancy and videos with the two of them, he was always seen with his hand placed possessively on his fiancé’s middle, reminding everyone that these babies were his, no matter who put them in there. “Definitely not human,” Reggie said confidently. No one knew how Reggie managed to find his baby daddies. None of the fathers had ever come forward to claim their children and it was believed they had some kind of contract with the couple not to. As far as anyone could tell, Carlos was taking his fatherhood very seriously and he shared his time with all his children equally, not prioritising his blood in any way. He loved all the children and they regularly featured on his channel, chilling with their dads and showing off their little talents. They’d even started a channel for their eldest, Vance, whom at eight years old, was already his own little personality and liked to do fashion reviews and reaction videos. “So whatcha got brewing in there, huh?” Carlos asked, giving Reggie's belly a pat. “A fairy? El chupacabra? A dragon?” “Wouldn't you like to know...” Reggie smirked and framed his stomach with his hands. “You'll just have to wait like everyone else.” Carlos grinned and pinched Reggie's cheek. “Driving me wild, babe.” Reggie pulled his face away from the pinch and chuckled. “What's on the agenda today?” “Q&A, príncipe. The fans want to know all about everything.” “Okay, any questions for me?” “Of course. The locas want to know everything. Who wouldn't want to know about you?” Carlos called his Carloco followers his locas and they were numerous. Locas from around the globe wanted in on this supernaturally mixed family. Carlos had hired one of his staff specifically for public relations and sorting through all the comments for worthwhile questions for his Q&As. “Start with a question for me then,” Reggie insisted, waiting for Carlos to pull them up. “Okay, okay. Hold on.” Carlos scrolled to the Reggie section of his list of questions. “Ah. 'When is Reggie going to take over the channel'? Feels like you have already.” “That's right. I own 51% of this company,” Reggie grinned. “Another one.” “Hm. ‘What number will they stop at? Reggie can't possibly give birth to endless babies.’” Reggie just shrugged. “We'll stop when I'm ready. I might never be ready.” “Yeah, you'll be ninety-five, pushing out an eight-legged horse, Loki-to.” “Was that...a Spanish pun?” “Si, mi amor. You're supposed to laugh.” “Oh. Ahahahah.” “You're lucky I find you so damn sexy...” Reggie smiled and kissed Carlos's neck. “Another question.” Carlos smirked and scrolled down on his laptop. “Okay... ‘I need need need Reggie's postpartum workout routine and I need it stat. Didn't have a baby or anything. Just fat.’” Reggie laughed genuinely at that. “Oh, sweetheart... I'm sure your body is absolutely beautiful, but if you really need to lose some weight, I recommend talking to your doctor before trying any kind of workout. What works for me won't necessarily work for everyone else.” “So basically, you're going to keep your secrets,” Carlos deduced. Reggie's lips curled. “Maybe. Next question.” Carlos scrolled down. “Okay, one for me please. Ah. ‘When is Carloco going to free climb that redwood tree like he promised umpteen videos ago?’ That is a good question. We looked into it. My researchers said it'd be too dangerous... So, soon. Lo prometo.” Reggie rubbed Carlos's shoulder. “Don't hurt yourself, babe. I need you.” Carlos turned and gave Reggie a peck on the lips. “Te quiero, mi amor. But no promises.” “Another question for me now,” Reggie decided, leaning forward and scrolling the laptop himself. “Ooh, here’s a good one. ‘Will Reggie singlehandedly repopu—” He was suddenly cut off by a sudden urge to puke. He covered his mouth and tried to hold it down, but suddenly black bile escaped through the cracks of his fingers. Carlos jumped up in alarm. “Reg? What… Are you okay?” Reggie nodded but rushed off, dashing to the closest bathroom. Carlos frowned and picked up the camera, heading over to his partner in a jog while retching could be heard off-screen. When he got there, Reggie was bent over the toilet holding his stomach. He’d taken his glasses off which was a sign to Carlos that this was serious. When he looked into the toilet, it was pitch black. Carlos knelt down and rubbed Reggie’s back. “Are you okay? Feeling any better?” Reggie nodded again, panting to recover his breath. “…Towel.” “Of course.” Carlos pulled a towel down from the rack and soaked the edge. With it, he started wiping Reggie’s face. This wasn’t the first morning sickness they’d dealt with by a long shot. Of course, it had never come out pitch black before, but then again it was a mystery creature pregnancy. They’d started to expect weird things like this. Reggie turned over and put his hand on Carlos’s arm. “Babe… Camera… I don’t like being sick on camera.” “Right, right… We’ll be right back, locas.” Carlos turned off the camera and grinned. “Very dramatic, babe.” Reggie chuckled, rubbing his stomach. “You can thank this kid for that. I did not expect this shit…” He leaned over and flushed the toilet, letting the bile wash away. “Think we should be concerned?” Carlos asked. “Naw… I’m already feeling better. Help me up.” Carlos stood up and pulled Reggie up along with him. “Can’t believe you’re willing to go through all this. I don’t think I could handle being pregnant.” “It’s not for the feint of heart, I’ll tell you that.” Reggie stretched. “I’m hungry. Are you gonna keep filming or do you want to lunch with me?” “I want to do everything with you,” Carlos insisted. “What are we craving today?” “Hmmm… I have a serious wine craving.” “That’s not food, babe. And do you think it’s safe?” “Trust me, whatever’s growing inside me can handle it. I promise.” “Okay, but I’ll make us some sandwiches too,” Carlos said before leaving a big kiss on Reggie’s cheek then heading to the kitchen. Reggie took a moment to wash and moisturise his face before going to join his partner.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

#lore #short story #mpreg #Reggie #Carlos #mystery baby theatre

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babyleclerc · 5 years

Text

Tequila Sunrise

Pairings: Chris Evans x Fem Reader

Style: One-Shot

Request?: No, but 100% inspired by that stupid Shawn Mendes/Camila Cabello song I will never get out of my head

Warnings: Language. Smut. Unprotected sex (woops, wrap it before you tap it, kids). NSFW. Slight dom!Chris.

Word count: 4.5K

Summary: You’ve known Chris since you were twelve. He’s always been a constant for you, never a romantic interest. But will the summer heatwave, humidity and pool time get to your head and change the way you feel about each other? Includes Anthony Mackie!

A/N: Holy shit, you guys. I’ve been working on this one all week. I won’t lie, I’m attached to this one and really hope you guys like it. :3 I’m considering doing a series tied to this -- more of what happens with Reader/Chris & potentially with Ava (bc I love her personality and modeled her off Blake Lively, if you couldn’t tell). If you liked this/would be interested in reading more in this world please comment and let me know!! Your support helps me write :))

This story truly feels like my baby so please do leave it some love/review if you liked it. Sorry if the smut sucked I hate writing it but felt like it was essential to the story jfdlakflds;akf;dsaf. Don’t hate me. ALSO, huge thank you to my #1 @deartomhardy. She helped me through this in so many ways. Hyped me up when parts of this fic made me sweaty, yelled at me when I whined about the smut. Supported me literally through it all. I love u my baby angel. <3 (Gif not mine!)

You say we’re just friends,

But friends don’t know the way you taste.

‘Cause you know it’s been a long time coming,

Don’t you let me fall.

It was hotter than all hell, and you were starting to get sick of the dry heat that was coursing it’s way through the city the past few days. Your hometown used to be so enjoyable; better weather, less traffic, less people, less lines, less noise. Now, everything was popular - and not in a cute way. The donut shop down the street you had been going to since you were five was now considered a collectible. You saw tourists at the airport with the stupid blue boxes everywhere. The quaint coffee shop that was next to a questionable Chinese restaurant had now multiplied where you could find one on almost every street corner. Even down to the people - one in particular - who used to just be a regular Joe Schmoe was now a celebrity in his (also your) hometown. Wild.

“Find any hotties out there?” You turned your head to the edge of the pool to peer through your circular sunglasses at the voice. Mackie was leaned against the cool tiles surrounding the edge of the pool, the bottom of his body enveloped in water. He turned to look at Chris who had just entered the gated pool area.

“I just went to get some beers, Mack. Chill.” Chris replied, and you couldn’t help the small smile that formed on your lips at his response.

Local-theatre-geek-turned-celebrity did have its perks, though. For one, you were able to enjoy a private pool on a 97 degree day, well, privately. Chris’s summer home was nothing short of a resort; food at any and all hours of the day, a pool, hot tub, and theater room. The best part about the pool was that there were no kids screaming and running around, wreaking havoc. You had a barbecue all to yourself, you could blast music and no one would complain. Plus, you found yourself suddenly surrounded by far better and more interesting company.

You and Chris had always been close. That was clear to everyone around you. You went to his premieres, supported him on Broadway, stayed up with him late into the night over the phone when his anxiety got the best of him, and he was a full Country away from you. Assured him that he would have the family he’s always wanted one day. And he supported you through all your endeavors. Helped you pay your way through grad school (I have so much money, Y/N, I literally don’t know what to do with it. Let me do something good for you, just this once he’d said to you late that night on the floor of your college dorm). Listened to you when you ranted about your parents and how the planet alignment was throwing off your mood. Was a shoulder to cry on when you went through breakups. There were no secrets between you, and there was no drama.

You knew this was because the only rule you had with Chris was the one that had stood the test of time: no sex. Period. No matter how drunk you got in the college dorms or at Marvel premieres. Even if you didn’t have someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Even if you were vulnerable, heart aching for some affection and non-romantic sex after your ex cheated on you. Even if you were just plain horny. No. Sex. Your 20+ year friendship had lasted this long because one person in the relationship had always stood that ground no matter the circumstances. And for that, you were so thankful. Thankful for the lack of complications and strings; thankful you had someone in your life you could be you around. It was a rarity these days.

“Beer?” Said friend asked you, sunglasses adorned his tanning face. You looked up from Mackie and nodded, stretching out a hand to reach for the refreshing drink Chris was offering your way.

“Please,” You respond, waiting for Chris to pad his way over to you across the massive outdoor patio.

Had Chris not had his sunglasses on, you would have noticed the way he was eyeing your outstretched body, clad only in a thin, navy blue bikini on the poolside chair. Your bottoms hugged your hips as if made just for you; your tousled hair touching just beneath your shoulders; stray strands innocently snuggled beneath your breasts.

He took a breath, willing himself to look away as he handed you the cool drink. You noticed the way his obliques twitched with his arm movement, and how massive his biceps were after coming off of Endgame. You had, of course, noticed your best friend’s looks before - you weren’t blind - but the heat was making you see him in a different light. You took a swig of your beer, hoping the distraction would take you away from the way a bead of sweat was falling just along his torso towards the top of his swim trunks...

“I’d love one, Chris, thanks for asking.” Your best friend, Ava, spoke out next to you.

“Did you have to bring her?” Chris teased, grabbing another beer and gently tossing it towards Ava, who lay sprawled out on a lounge chair next to you in a stunning red one piece that hugged her cleavage just right.

Ava was the quintessential best friend whose kindness and selflessness made up for the fact that any woman next to her would otherwise feel inadequate.

She had long, slender legs, carved after years of soccer, tennis, biking, and basically any sport she could get her hands on. The constant need for an adrenaline rush made her tanned skin stay year-round, which was accompanied by a moderate four pack, large natural breasts, and wavy, thick blonde hair that always fell just right. Add her bright emerald eyes and a contagious laugh that lit up any room, and she was a heartbreaker to any man that was lucky enough to be in the same room as her.

But Ava didn’t care about that stuff, and that’s what made her so special. She was selfless. She put everyone else’s needs above her own, and had kindness oozing out of her, no matter the circumstances. She went to Mexico on a UNICEF trip on a whim after reading an article about children in need on a random Tuesday morning. She put her younger brother through medical school when both of her parents passed away unexpectedly (still a mystery to everyone else how she ever managed it). She was a perfect blend of compassion and enthusiasm that attracted men who wanted to get in bed with her and women who wanted to be associated with her. And it was effortless; as if it came to her like breathing.

“They’re kind of a package deal, those two.” Mackie piped up from the pool, grinning as he unashamedly drank Ava in. He had been trying to get with her all summer, but Ava stood her ground. She wasn’t one for summer flings.

But Chris knew this already; in fact it was Ava and Chris’s friendship that had gotten you to know Chris to begin with. Your mom had forced you into 6th grade soccer (hoping you would show some sort of athletic talent in your childhood) where you had met Ava on the very first day. Chris had been on the boys team at your middle school, and Ava being, well, Ava, had already made friends with the entire team within days. Your practices were on separate fields, separated only by a goal post but always ended at the same time. You would frequently all walk home together after practice, stopping for a smoothie, donuts, or ice cream along the way depending on the weather and talking about everything under the sun. Those walks were the reason you stuck with soccer for all those years (sorry, Mom).

“I already know what you’re going to say,” Ava started, lowering her voice and leaning towards you so the boys couldn’t hear. “But if I didn’t know any better, I’d say a certain someone was checking you out today.”

You rolled your eyes, but felt your heart skip a beat at the insinuation. “Don’t go starting shit, Ave. He’s seen me in a bikini a million times.”

“Yeah, and you’ve seen him shirtless a million times, too, and yet here you are gawking at him like he’s some Sports Illustrated model.”

“Am not!” You laughed, taking a drink of your beer. You noticed the way Chris’s eyebrows raised at the sound of you from across the patio; he was always in tune with you even from a thousand miles away.

“Prove it.” Ava deadpanned, swinging her legs over her chair to sit up and face you.

“What?” You asked, exhausted by your best friend’s antics.

“Prove it.” She repeated, setting her beer down on the cement. “If it’s no big deal, and you feel the same way about him you always have and nothing’s changed-” She used air quotations, referring to the thousands of conversations you’d had about Chris since you were both back visiting your hometown and hanging out with Ava, “-then swimming and playing around in the pool should be no big deal. Just another swim with your best buds.”

She had a wicked grin on her face, and you knew you were in trouble. When Ava set her mind to something, she always saw it through. No matter what.

“Please don’t do this.” You pouted, though your best friend was already standing, waiting to make her move. The pitied look on your face didn’t fool her, and you found she was ignoring you as she dramatically fanned herself, heading towards the pool.

“It’s getting a bit toasty. I think I’ll take a dip to cool off.” She announced, “Y/N, you coming?”

“I think I’m good, thanks.” You glared at her, unamused. She shot you a wink in response.

“Man, I was really hoping we could chicken fight. Evans!” Chris jumped at the sudden inclusion from the loud blonde. “You in?”

He looked up from the edge of the pool where he had been leaning against one of the railings. Him and Mackie had been discussing some latest sports announcement at length, since you had been too bored earlier to listen out at lunch.

“Mhm?” Chris asked, clearly not paying attention to Ava’s antics and shooting a look over to the both of you. You noticed the beer in his hand was nearly empty.

“Chicken fight!” Ava said enthusiastically, “Me ‘n Mack vs you two losers.”

“Alright!” Mackie shouted happily, “Now things are getting interesting. Finally.”

Chris sighed, not near excited for the fight as the other two. “You in, partner?”

“I guess.” You groaned, knowing you had no way out of both Anthony and Ava’s persistence. You pulled yourself up off the chair and stood, stretching and rolling your neck, which had been stiff from the CrossFit class Ava had forced you to earlier in the week. Your muscles still ached from the fifty minute torture session you cursed your best friend all the way through, and though you’d never admit it - a dip in the pool sounded so refreshing after nearly 45 minutes in the heat.

Chris’s eyes never left you, or the way your body was glistening in the sunlight. The summer heat was leaving your cheeks just flushed, and he noticed how the thin swim material hugged your plump ass seductively. You were oblivious. Oblivious to the beauty and perfection Chris saw in you, how your right dimple surfaced when you laughed, and your eyelashes fluttered when you slept deeply. He felt a small pang of jealousy in his gut at the thought of all the guys who had seen you that way, and wondered if they noticed all those things about you that he did.

Throughout high school and through adulthood, people had always assumed Chris was dating Ava. Whether it was friends, family, or tabloids - people always gushed over what a “beautiful couple” he and Ava made. Maybe it was because of the stark blond hair, or maybe that she was almost taller than Chris, and they appeared to be “perfectly matched”. To Chris, she was just Ava. A close, and dear friend, but no one he would ever be romantically interested in.

She wasn’t you.

---

Much to your annoyance (and to Ava’s pleasure), chicken fighting with Chris had been just as awkward as you had expected. You were acutely aware of every touch - the way his strong hands gripped your thighs when you were straddled on top of his shoulders, desperately trying to shove your best friend off Anthony’s. She was stronger than you; that much was obvious. But having Chris at the base gave you an edge, and you ended up winning more than the other pair thanks to his cheating swipes at Mackie from under the water.

While the game was innocent enough, you heart drummed loudly in your chest every time his skin made contact with yours. Several times as you fell, shoved off by Ava’s very aggressive pushes, you’d feel Chris’s strong arms envelope you, laughing and crashing into the water with you. His arm stayed wrapped around your torso, holding you easily against his hip as you pushed up for air. Water droplets danced along your shoulders as you laughed, easily wrapping your legs around Chris as an excuse for support.

Finally, after several hours of Marco/Polo, ring tossing, and shark and minnows, Anthony and Ava had tired themselves out and retired to their respective homes. You and Chris had moved to the hot tub, tucked deep into the corner of the house, where you could still see the stars. The heatwave had finally burnt off, and you felt a cool breeze rolling through the property, sending a slight shiver down your spine. You leaned your head back onto the cool, diamond tiles that lined the tub, your legs peacefully resting on Chris’s lap across from you as the jets made water bubbles all around you. You sighed, blissfully happy - nothing was better than a long, warm day at the pool with your best friends.

“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” Chris asked softly. His fingers danced across your legs like a whisper, his warm blues matching the color of the water just beneath his sturdy chest.

“I’ve just missed this,” You reply, raising your eyes to meet his. “Life should always be this simple.”

“It can be.” Chris retaliated, thumb now making small circles just above your ankle. You smiled softly.

“Sometimes. But other times I remember that there’s reality, and we have to work and pay bills and like... be an adult.” You sighed again, “It’s just not the same as...” You trailed off, not having the balls to finish your sentence. You awkwardly broke eye contact with him, looking down at your hands in the water.

“Not the same as what?” He pressed, hand now gripping your ankle gently. He tugged just enough to force you to make eye contact with him again.

“Real life just isn’t the same as being here with you,” You finished out awkwardly. This was uncharted territory - you’d never talked about this kind of stuff with Chris. You were always just friends, and that was the extent of it. Nothing more; and there was never really an opportunity to be more than that because both of you had never let it.

But now... now he was here. And he was so... perfect. And caring. And kind. And he listened to your ideas, beyond just wanting to get into your pants. And he knew you so intimately, it was hard to think about being with anyone else. It made you wonder if all of your past relationships had failed for a reason, maybe there was someone else you were supposed to be with, and he had been right in front of you this entire time?

Chris tugged on your leg, a little stronger this time, willing you towards him as the water bounced between you guys softly. He was closing the gap between the both of you, but the pace in which he was taking was painfully slow. You felt every second, as if it had been slowed down five times, as you inched towards him slowly.

“Chris, I...” You whispered, as his hands enveloped you, gripping your waist and maneuvering you so that you straddled his lap.

“What?” He asked breathlessly, drunk on your smell, and the way your ass was settling on his groin. His eyes still haven’t left yours, he’s testing you - daring you to be the one to pull away first.

“I don’t trust myself right now.” You reply, eyes boring into his. Your face was millimeters away from his, and you so desperately wanted to reach out and taste him; know what it would feel like to kiss those soft, pink lips.

“Just one kiss.” He breathed. His tone was more of a request than it was statement, he was begging you to give in just this once. You lifted your hands and rested them on the sides of his face, feeling his slight stubble against the palms of your hands.In the decades of knowing him, you had never been this close. You breathed in deeply, taking in his scent. You felt as though you were home. And although it was likely only seconds that passed by, it felt like it had been a million minutes all smashed into one, and you finally leaned in, closing the fraction of space between your lips.

And suddenly, you were falling. Falling so deep into Chris and your feelings it was indescribable. He tasted like a perfect blend of vanilla, honey and strawberries; likely from the massive bowl he had eaten just hours before.

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you as close into him as he could. This was more than just one kiss, and both of you knew it. There was no going back now.

After a few breathy moments, Chris pulled back for air, immediately relocating his lips onto the crook of your neck, kissing every inch of your skin from your jawline down to your shoulder. Your skin felt as though it was on fire, and it had nothing to do with the temperature of the water. You leaned into him, a soft moan escaping your lips as you let your eyes flutter closed. His hands roamed up your spine, tugging at the spandex material that was barricading him from access to your breasts.

“Not here,” You murmured, letting your head fall against his shoulder. As warm and sexy as the hot tub was, you weren’t interested in your first time with Chris being messy and wet in his outdoor hot tub. Plus, the cool breeze was starting to give you goosebumps.

He pulled away from the hickey he was working on just above your right breast. “Hold onto my neck.” He said against your skin. Wrapping your legs around his waist he easily stood, carefully maneuvering the both of you out of the hot tub and towards one of the guest bedrooms just a few feet from the hot tub. All the while his lips continued his assault on any part of you that he could, stumbling in the dark towards the massive queen bed that was enveloped in snow white sheets.

A small giggle escaped from your lips as he tripped slightly, dropping you backwards and onto the soft mattress.

“Think that’s funny?” He asked, grinning as he took in the sight of you; eyes sparkling and hair wet and wild, soaking the cotton sheets beneath you. Nothing separated him from you other than your skimpy bikini, which he was determined to pull off within minutes of having you on the bed.

“I mean, it was a little dramatic,” You teased, reaching out to grab his left arm, and interlacing your fingers easily as he leaned over, hovering over top of you. No part of you were touching just yet, other than his hand in yours. “I do have working legs, ya know.”

“Well, yes, but where’s the fun in that?” He teased, allowing himself to settle on top of you easily. He was grinning from ear to ear, and you weren’t sure if it was your ego or the heat of the moment - but you could have sown you’d never seen him this happy.

“Are we really gonna do this?” You asked softly, reaching your hand to stroke the side of his face, your eyes searching his.

“Do you want to?” He asked, ever the gentleman. Your heart was ringing in your ears, aware of the hard erection Chris was sporting through his swim trunks. It pressed against your right thigh gently. You squirmed beneath him.

“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” You murmured, and that was the final confirmation Chris needed to close the gap between you two once more.

And this time was different from the hot tub. In the water you were slow, deliberate, wanting every nerve in your body to feel him against you. This was different; he was hungry for you. His hands made quick work of your bikini top, tossing it onto the floor as your lips parted to make room for his tongue.

His right hand massaged your left breast, pinching and flicking your nipple every so often. The sensation made you moan, and you arched your back in response. You could feel your pussy throbbing for him, begging him to please you, touch you.

Needing air, you pulled away from him, placing kisses along his chin and down his jawline.

“Chris,” You moaned into his ear, slightly tugging on his long, wet hair as his thumb padded your tout nipple.

“Mhm,” You were quickly realizing that Chris was going to make you beg him for this one. After years and years of waiting, he wanted to hear exactly what you wanted him to do to you. He wasn’t going to give you an easy out. Not tonight anyway.

“Please,” You begged, as his right hand moved slowly, torturously from your breast and across your tummy, running a finger along your slit over top your bottoms.

“What do you want?” He asked, nose nuzzling your neck before biting you gently.

You groaned, annoyed at the teasing. “We’ve had twenty years of foreplay, Evans. You know what I want.”

He chuckled against your skin, palming your pussy in response.

“Don’t be a smartass.” He bit your earlobe gently, running his tongue along your neck. “All you have to do is ask.”

You weren’t used to such a dominant side of Chris, but the rate in which it was turning you on was unbelievable. He was confident and sexy in the bedroom - a side of him you weren’t used to seeing. It was a relief to feel like you were being taken care of, and that your needs were coming before his. Even if he was making you beg.

Deciding that being blunt was the only way to get what you want you pushed him away from your neck gently, meeting his warm blues. There was a quick beat.

“I want you to fuck me, Chris.” It was so vulgar you felt your cheeks go warm. But if Chris was turned on before, it was nothing like the look of desperation and hunger he had in his eyes now.

He shoved his swim trunks off, freeing his cock that was standing at attention. You craned your neck to get a look, mouth practically watering at the sight. Chris yanked off your bottoms next and paused for a minute, drinking you in.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He breathed, his hands running down your sides. His hand stopped just above your folds, locating your wild eyes and watching your face as he slipped in one, two, then three fingers, testing your readiness.

You hissed, writhing at the feeling and pulled at the sheets in a death grip. After a few pumps he pulled out of you, but not after sliding his index finger once across your clit. The feeling made you shutter, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

He aligned himself, pausing to soak you in. After all these years of wondering, wishing, hoping; you were all his. He didn’t have to worry about anybody or anything else. You were here, and this was perfect.

Your eyes fluttered open, wondering what the hesitation was. You knew immediately he was silently asking for permission one more time. Once you crossed this line, there was no going back. Your hand found his and you intertwined your fingers once more.

“I want this.” You whispered reassuringly.

That was the confirmation Chris needed to settle himself above you, and slide into your pussy slowly. Inch by inch you felt yourself filled up by his impressive length, and you squeezed his hand, moaning loudly.

“Jesus,” He moaned, allowing your body to adjust before beginning to fuck you slowly. “So wet.”

His mouth latched onto one your breasts, licking and nipping at your sensitive nipple as he began slamming into you with more speed. His thumb was still making fast work of your clit, and the triple combination was making it hard for you to not cum quickly.

“Chris,” You breathed, reveling in the way his cock felt inside of you. You bucked your hips hoping to allow him to penetrate you deeper.

“So absolutely perfect.” Chris kept murmuring against your skin, over and over as he kissed, licked, and squeezed every inch of you he could. He picked up the pace, feeling your walls tightening around his cock. You were dangerously close to release.

You tried to form words but couldn’t think coherently. Everything was a blur, and every nerve was on edge as you felt yourself inching quickly toward orgasm. One more thrust from Chris and you let go, crying out as your walls clenched down on his cock without mercy.

Squeezing your breast, he found your mouth and kissed you as if his life depended on it. After a few more thrusts, he, too, let out a loud groan as you felt him finish inside you.

Still seeing stars you blinked a few times, your brain trying to catch up to the scene unfolding in front of you. You had just had sex with Chris Evans. Best friend of over 20 years. Man you shared every intimate secret with. He’s seen you naked. Touched you everywhere. Came inside you. Holy shit.

Chris was still lost in his orgasm, panting slightly. He pulled out of you, rolling over to his side.

“Wow,” He breathed. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “That was…”

“Amazing?” You offered, snuggling into his chest and letting a hand dance along his skin. Your heart still hadn’t recovered from the previous cardio session, and you could feel Chris’s still racing also.

“I was gonna say mind blowing.” His chest rippled in your hand from a laugh. “But amazing works too.”

Fin.

---

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atissi · 4 years

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Viktor Kain :)

How I feel about this character:

Well. I simply. I simply love him very much and that’s the end of it. I just love h

If you look at my track record of favourite characters, there’s like, a worryingly high number of boring old men (and I won’t call myself out by listing them. If you know who they are You Know). And I wish I could say I like Viktor because his relationship to familial duty is interesting (which it is) or because the details of his marriage is a fun mystery (even though it is) or because there’s fascinating parallels between him and his son (which there are) or because his design is good (…no comment) but in the end? In the end? I just vibe with him. I think he’d be nice to hang out with. He’d stand up when you enter the room and shake your hand, then sit back down on his desk and ramble somewhat anxiously about clocks for an hour exactly. And I think that’s nice.

His complexities are less flashy than other characters in Pathologic but I think that’s why he appeals to me. There’s subtleties to the way he talks or carries himself that I could (and have) analyzed for hours. I love that he wears his heart on his sleeve compared to the other town leaders. I love the quiet resentment when he talks about Khan leaving for the Polyhedron. I love that he’s the least weird Kain and still manages to be creepy. I fucking love when he says “…If I’d learned about this earlier, I would have torn his head off already.” Oh, shit, I love this voiceline: “Let’s open the box carefully, and sum it all up” (Viktor you’re talking about Pandora’s box right? You want to open Pandora’s box carefully?). I love that he paces circles alone in his office. I love that he asks for exactly 35 seconds to think about things. I love that he’s political head of one of the most powerful families in Town, widowed husband to the one of the most powerful women, and every single time he’s in a leadership position he looks viscerally uncomfortable. God, what an awkward, fascinating motherfucker.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Someone’s already asked me about Saburov so I’m saving half of my rambling for there, but yeah, it’s no secret, I sell out for Viktor/Saburov. It’s so funny because if you asked me three months ago what my favourite ships were I’d say “Clara/Capella? Tentatively” because I just didn’t care. And now I religiously reread the same three fics that focus on Viktor and Saburov’s relationship because, like, oh my god. Small town political leaders falling into an uncomfortable, secretive pseudo-relationship at the point where they both should’ve ended their romantic careers, except 1) Viktor’s wife is dead and his family is distant and he craves intimacy from anyone bothering to check on him, 2) Saburov is in a loving but uncomprehending marriage to Katerina where he can neither help her nor discuss their mutually blatant infidelity without admitting to himself that his life is a mess, 3) the repressed homosexuality. The Repressed Homosexuality, 4) the drama of falling for a rival while both of your public reputations are on the fritz and you’re both constantly overworked. They’re such painfully lonely people who need each other for intimacy and external validation, but engaging with those needs in the first place can be shameful.

And they really play off each other’s beliefs in that regard! Saburov cares a lot about tradition and Viktor breaks tradition as part of his job. Saburov covers up his gnawing internal conflicts with formalities, while Viktor expresses his conflict through those formalities. Saburov, at his heart, is wildly emotional, and Viktor can’t let himself be emotional in a way that would interfere with his work. But they’re both men who are duty-bound, highly principled, well-meaning (incompetent), and ultimately, needing a friend. My only wish was that their speaking styles were less boring. But I guess it works for the types of character they are.

Nina and Viktor is also quite good because it’s an intellectual exercise. Why the hell did Nina pick him of all people? Why would Viktor “Tax Form Personified” Kain want to marry Nina? My theory is that they promised freedom for each other: Nina would never be restrained by her husband and Viktor would have an outlet for his less sane, more obstructive interests. I’d love to see a slowburn for them where they marry for freedom alone but gradually Nina grows to appreciate and respect Viktor on his own terms (obviously this would be one-sided because it’s impossible not to fall in love with Nina at first sight). I don’t even need a good dynamic to like this ship, though. They love each other to the ends of the earth and I think that’s sweet.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Obviously Viktor and his kids. Some noble souls asked for my Khan and Maria opinions so I’ll discuss this later, but basically, Viktor as a dad is both tragic and tender. I want them to get closure, somehow.

Viktor and Katerina (by proxy of Saburov) is honestly delightful. Bee writes very good angst about them and their mutual relationship to Nina, but I also like them as casual friends. They’re two of the most lowkey people in their social circles and they both like crafts. There’s room for bonding.

There’s also this post I made in a Discord server: “…not to reference niru’s “black pearl” again but…in all seriousness i love the concept of viktor going around the capital hunting for talent on his brothers’ behalves, following newspaper scandals and pulling strings to assemble the weirdest heist team in existence but the heist is the laws of reality. viktor getting coffee with yulia in an austrian cafe. viktor dealing with mark’s bullshit at an opera theatre. viktor having to break into the stamatins’ shared loft because neither of them answer their mail or go outside. itd be a fun montage” So I imagine Viktor is acquainted with all of the outsiders in the town!

[Spoilers for Mark Immortell’s backstory in the next paragraph]

Although, in Mark’s case, I guess Viktor tried to recruit him and Mark said “Not right now. Wait until I get fucked up by a Caravan scandal and come running to your Town for refuge” and Viktor was like “??? k.”

My unpopular opinion about this character:

It’s not strictly canon and mostly based on how I type him in the Enneagram (9w1), but I think he has a lot of pent-up anger! He regularly gives up his personal interests out of familial duty, and he’s expected to be relaxed and professional about that. Never seeing your son for years because your brothers told you it was important for his Spiritual Progress has, uh, got to sting! And maybe he feels betrayed by Caspar for leaving him, and then resents himself for being angry at his pre-teen son, and he feels betrayed by Simon for encouraging Caspar to leave, then resents himself for being angry at a dead man, and he gets angry at Georgiy for being so callous about the townspeople’s wellbeings, but resents himself for being angry at his last surviving brother, and etc. etc. etc. Actually my unpopular opinion about him is that he should retire and get a therapist.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

Full transparency, I haven’t finished Pathologic 2. But I’m fairly sure we don’t see Khan and Viktor’s reunion in either game and oh god, I desperately want to see that. I don’t need it to end happily, I just need them standing next to each other, similar appearances, similar voices, similar tics, in the aftermath of the Plague and having an honest discussion about their future with or without each other. I would cry. IPL, you have the power to kill me in one shot.

#askmeme.txt #inbox #cw infidelity #wow....viktor. i can and will talk about him for ages

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amplesalty · 4 years

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TV Binging: Pushing Daisies (2007-2009)

The facts were these...

At the risk of immediately dating this entry, the entire world is in the grip of a certain public health crisis right now and it seems everyone is taking that time to learn a new language, plunder their local supermarket for baking ingredients or just dive into that long neglected Netflix watchlist for something to pass the seemingly never-ending lockdown hours. For unknown reasons, my brain turned to the late noughties sensation of Pushing Daisies. Maybe because it’s relatively short, only two seasons totaling 22 episodes, or maybe it was a means of finally putting it to bed after two previous failed attempts to watch it all.

For the uninitiated, the show centers around Ned, a small business owner with the unique ability of being able to bring the dead back to life with just a touch of his finger, albeit with a few asterisks attached. Chief amongst them is that if he touches that person or thing again, they go back to being dead, permanently. And, if that person or things stays living for longer than sixty seconds then the power of the Universe, the Grim Reaper or Final Destination kicks in and takes something else in its place. This was something Ned learned at a very young age when his mother died suddenly of a brain aneurysm and in the act of bringing her back to life, he inadvertently killed the father of his neighbour and childhood sweetheart, Charlotte ‘Chuck’ Charles.

Cut to 20 years in the future, or 19 years, 34 weeks, 1 day and 59 minutes later as the narrator so handily informs us, young Ned has become ‘the pie-maker’, running The Pie Hole where he’s able to massively slash his overheads by being able to make delicious pies by simply bringing rotting fruit back to life to serve as his ingredients. It’s amazing the profits you can turn when you can entirely cut out the middle man of fruit suppliers isn’t it?

Plus he makes a little money on the side by helping a local PI named Emerson Cod. Why do all the hard work of investigating a crime when you can simply have a corpse brought back to life for sixty seconds, long enough to ask them who killed them.

It’s through this little business arrangement that Ned stumbles upon the unfortunate news that Chuck’s body was fished from the sea after she seemingly fell overboard on a cruise. With the prospect of a $50,000 reward for information on her passing, Cod is quick to get on the case but in the heat of the moment, Ned has other motives than money and neglects to re-dead his childhood crush.

Thus the series blossoms into what I would describe as a murder mystery meets fairy tale type show, with Chuck now tagging along as one of the Scooby Gang as they solve a new case every week. That’s probably a pretty apt comparison too considering Ned’s dog is often around too, a dog that he also brought back to life and has been keeping around for twenty years. Though, Ned isn’t a massive stoner and Cod doesn’t wear an ascot. He does have a couple of knitted gun holsters though if you want to equate that as his ‘fruity’ accessory.

The reward is something that feels a little shoehorned in early on, they always seem to go out of their way to make a point of saying something like ‘police are baffled and are offering a reward that leads to an arrest’ just so there’s a reason for Cod to get involved. It does eventually settle into someone coming to Cod directly to hire his services, whether that be a grieving widow or family member of a falsely accused wanting to clear their relatives name. That just made a bit more sense to me. You kinda have to look past the fact that the police never seem to be actively involved in any of these cases as well, allowing Cod and co to just swan around doing their thing until they’re able to turn in the real killer at the end of the episode and cash their reward. It always seems that they have a knack of turning up like two minutes too later to someones murder. They do make a point of turning this on its head in one episode though when they find Ned at a murder scene and figure him as the killer.

And maybe it’s just me being a chauvinistic pig but good lord you cannot escape boobs in this show. Or maybe not just me, punch ‘Pushing Daisies cleavage’ into Google dot com and it looks like a few people were talking about this at the time. It felt like one of those things that, once I noticed it, I just couldn’t unsee it. Women always leaning over or camera shots from above looking down their dresses. Just cleavage everywhere. It seems to come up at slightly inappropriate times, like Chuck’s aunts who are socially repressed and virtual shut ins but are stilled dressed up the nines, boobs pushed up and spilling out.

It kinda makes sense for Olive though, waitress at the Pie Hole and with a thing for Ned so she’s just trying to seduce him but without much luck. Doesn’t mean they don’t go out of their way to show off the twins outside the restaurant though such as when Olive takes ownership of the swimming costumes that Chuck’s aunts used to use as part of their synchronized swimming stage show.

Speaking of Kristin Chenoweth’s set of lungs, she gets to show off her musical background a few times throughout the show by breaking into song . It feels a little out of place as there isn’t any other musical acts in the show but she does a great job.

A more family friendly point of design is just how beautiful this show looks at times. Like, pretty much the first thing you see in episode one is young Ned and his dog running through down a vast hillside of flowers. It’s a really vibrant use of colour that runs throughout the whole show, whether it’s sets or costumes, and really adds to this whole fantasy vibe aided by the fantastical nature of Ned’s special power.

Businesses that pop up as part of the story have these grand, bespoke designed buildings that seem like they would never logically exist in the real world like this honey business with a beehive theme...

...and interior decorations centered around hexagons.

Even something as clinical as the city morgue almost leaps off the screen with a bold red and white striped building. Though, I feel having an entrance labelled ‘deliveries’ brings back a little bit of the coldness you would expect. They might be dead but give them some dignity, they’re not pizzas.

You occasionally get these childhood fantasy sequences as well from when Ned and Chuck would play together as kids, imagining the world in claymation before they would inevitably destroy it as they pictured themselves as giant monsters.

It ties into the characters as well, everyone wearing very colourful clothes except for Ned who only ever seem to dress in blacks or greys.

Except for when he has to act under false pretenses, pretending to be someone else in order to get information from someone or to distract a suspect. To play amateur psychologist for a moment, with someone neurotic as Ned, it’s like a visual representation of his inner self no longer confined, no longer suppressed under the weight of the problems he’s bottling up and pushing deep down within himself. For a brief moment he’s able to break free from the shackles of his black and white world and into rich and living colour. It’s like a strange inverse of how things might usually work where a splash of colour would make someone or something stand out amongst an otherwise drab background. Somehow Ned’s lack of colour draws the eye.

On a more technical level, it is often quite obvious how superimposed the actors are against the fancy backgrounds and that can be a tad distracting. The editing between scenes can sometimes lend to the creative feel of the series, there are a few episodes where instead of the usual wipes you get something more appropriate to the story of the episode. For instance, in one episode centered around a magic theatre show, the transitions are the closing and opening of the stage curtains. It’s a little touch but it adds to the whimsy.

It all adds up to what might the most cutest, adorable thing I’ve ever seen, for the first few episodes at least. Maybe it’s a case of getting used to the whole thing but early on there’s a bit of a feeling out process (or non feeling as the case may be) between Ned and Chuck, the smiles they share or the ways they have to vicariously show their affection by hugging Cod. Him being the unwilling third party in this unconventional relationship doesn’t help take the edge of what might be a saccharine affair. There is a slight sense of ‘will they, wont they’ about Ned and Chuck,, subverting the usual TV payoff of a big kiss by doing so through plastic wrap.Makes you wonder how they explore their other urges under these circumstances. Or maybe that’s just the lockdown thirst kicking in again...

I think the distance they have plays with your head a little bit. There’ a coyness to it that puts you in mind of a bunch of awkward kids at a school dance too nervous to dance with each other. Or maybe Ned standing two feet away from Chuck, holding his own hand and pretending it’s Chuck’s is just an eerie glimpse into the post apocalyptic world we’ll have to enter at some point and all our conventions of greetings and physical contact have been shattered.

For the rotating cast of peripheral characters the show goes through as each investigation comes and goes, it’s nice that a few a started to re-appear now and again, such as Paul Rubens’ Oscar, Christine Adams’ Simone or David Arquette’s Randy Mann. That last one is a name, not a description (a Randy Man, a Macho Savage). It helps build this broader world and story elements, albeit I’m torn on the latter. Oscar, for instance, suspects something is not quite right about Chuck and she worries that he’s going to uncover her secret. It never really goes anywhere though and, whilst you could argue that like any good mystery there is the odd red herring along the way, it still feels like a little bit of a bait and switch considering that are other things in the story that don’t get paid off.

I’ll have to look into the timeline for how the series came to a close because it definitely seems like they knew considering there’s a very tacked on epilogue to the final episode that tries to tie up some of the loose ends, but there are still some left that aren’t. Namely the presence of Ned’s father that he had thought had been long gone for some twenty years but had been closer than he thought the entire time, with the show giving periodical teases of him sitting in the Pie Hole or a more thrilling cameo as he sweeps in to rescue Ned and Olive from their untimely deaths as they cling to a branch on the edge of a cliff.

The fact that he does so whilst wearing a mask and wearing gloves is more of a way to lead Ned towards certain conclusions on the identity of this mystery man but I can’t help but wonder what the implications are on the gloves in particular. The mechanics of Ned’s power seem to be that contact in order to bring the dead back to life has to be made skin to skin, so maybe Ned inherited this power from his father and his father brought Ned back to life at some point? Maybe him abandoning Ned at a young age was done to eliminate any risk of him accidentally touching him again and making death permanent? I’m not sure that would hold up considering he later walks out on his new family and twin boys so this would require three different people to all have seemingly no memory of their own near death experience. Maybe it’s all been repressed, that wouldn’t be surprising considering all the childhood angst present in this show.

You know what else I’m confused on? The distance between Coeur d’Couers, where Chuck’s aunts live, and the Pie Hole. Maybe I’m misremembering or misheard but I’m sure in one episode the narrator mentions that they’re 161 miles apart, yet characters seem to go between the two like they’re five minutes away. One of the aunts arranges a secret date at the Pie Hole later on in the same night but that’s a pretty massive distance to cover considering they make a point that they’re only traveling on buses. I know travel is all relative to American’s considering the massive size of their country but that’s a pretty ridiculous distance to cover for a slice of pie.

#TV Binging #Pushing Daisies

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homenum-revelio-hq · 4 years

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Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Seb!

You have been accepted for the role of non-biography character NDULUE “LU” TRAVERS with the faceclaim of Keiynan Lonsdale! We really enjoyed reading your application and especially loved such a creative way to tie Lu to canon. During these dark times, it only makes sense that muggleborns and other ‘”lower” blood-statuses might hide their background to protect themselves! We also enjoyed your in-depth analysis for Lu’s biases and prejudices!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Seb

AGE: 21+ (I’ve turned yet another year older the other day though, can you believe how ordinary I am? Not even aging backwards, like some sort of amateur… )

TIMEZONE: GMT+1

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m still on holiday until mid april and after that I’ll be travelling to uni daily by train so… If anything I’m too active. Will there ever be a time when the poor admins don’t have to suffer through pages and pages of my replies?

ANYTHING ELSE: Love you <3

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Ndulue “Lu” Travers

AGE: 26

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Genderqueer. They/Them. Queer.

Lu does not use the term ‘genderqueer’ themselves. They just know – and have always known – that their body does not fit how they feel inside. They know it’s a good body, and they don’t hate it, in fact, they quite enjoy using it for certain physical activities at times, but they just don’t think it belongs to them more than a handbag does.

They’ve tried living as a traditionally female-presenting woman for a while but it seemed just as wrong. So they’ve decided, especially in the face of war, that there’s bigger things to worry about and to just wear and act and love however they feel like it that day. If modern terminology and information were accessible to them, they’d choose ‘genderqueer’ for themselves and so I’m going with the most widely used ‘they/them’ pronouns as well. I can imagine Lu’s skin crawls when people address them with ‘Mister’ or speak of them with ‘he/him’ pronouns, even if they can’t fully put it into words why, but when it comes to playing into the ideas some people have of them, they’re good at sucking it up.

BLOOD STATUS: Muggleborn

HOUSE ALUMNI: Not applicable

ANY CHANGES: X.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

[Lu’s soul is split into two. Their parents divorced, leaving them and their brother commuting between different counties, educations and opposing moral values. They are of magical blood, no one else in their family is, has been, or will ever be. Their taste is accustomed to luxury and fame, but they themselves have no Knut to their name. To which world do they belong? Who are they really?]

Their personality is best described as vibrant and fun-loving on the one hand and selfish and sly on the other.

Meeting them for the first time, you’ll be confronted with a lot of sass, a lot of cheek, a lot of jokes and shallow remarks. They’re painfully honest about what they think of others – or at least their appearances. There’s something hyper-sensual, hyper-sexual to them even, as though their whole world turns around how to get who to bed. In a way, that’s very much the truth. After all, the person they’ve become can only exist as long as they keep being wanted that way. If they like you, they’ll shower you in gifts and wild adventures, they’ll make you get out of bed at one in the morning for a trip to an underground party where everyone is dressed up in Rococo fashion, and if you don’t want to, they’ll shame you for not living your best life. “These are the golden years of our lives, let’s spray-paint us in glitter to match!”

On the other hand they do have a dark past and a deep-rooted melancholy they can not always shake. Sometimes they use this to get pity-points. You see, even though they didn’t go to Hogwarts but to Beauxbaton, they are the epitome of a Slytherin. They’ll do most anything to protect their kin, foul play never out of the question. Lies are their best friend, and they’re damn good at it. In fact, they don’t just take pride in it but also joy. Imagine Regina George complimenting your bracelet only to turn around a second later and comment to her friend just how ugly it really is. That’s Lu. They found happiness in everything material; fashion, housing, parties, carriages is their life. Flowers are beneath them as they die too quickly. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend is their motto. And if you get on their bad side, you will suffer. You don’t know the bad luck that ensues is coming from Lu, but you will experience it intensely. There’s also an intense need to be appreciated, to be everyone’s number one and win first place in any competition – even those where no one else is aware that it’s a competition.

They can play incredibly sweet. Feed you honey as long as they get what they want, help you succeed, and rid you of all your adversaries. But if they feel insulted or neglected, the venom in their bite shows quickly.

So if it comes to what they’re good at, what they struggle with, it’s two sides of the same coin: being honest. Yes, they’ll use their actual hurt to get attention and some extra loving, but when it comes to facing how it actually makes them feel, how it influences their actions, they’ll put up a fight – or distract. They’re a master of conning, even before they met Mundungus Fletcher who helped them to their current life. They bamboozle and bedazzle their audience – and break when the truth beneath the facade is found out. The world’s a stage, they’re the lead role. But if you catch them behind the scenes, or reduce them to being the audience, a feisty tongue will jab and jab and jab until words turn to actions, indeed quite similar to theatre kids not being cast in the role they want.

What this hurt is, that I mentioned? See the next section.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Lu’s theme – a soul divided into two – has its roots, as for so many, in their past and background.

Muggle Belgium is a country split between a French part and a Dutch part, and most people there are raised bilingual. Lu, with their Nigerian mother, was raised with yet a third language, a third culture to appreciate and respect, a third reason why fitting in was nearly impossible.

Initially, it was a happy childhood, with a baby brother Lu was devoted to, and parents who, despite their differences, managed to show their love to their children. But soon the differences grew too broad, and it didn’t help that each fight they had when they believed their children to be asleep was followed by furniture mysteriously bursting, disappearing, or changing colour. Accusations were thrown, insults were hissed, and soon Lu’s father moved up to Antwerpen, far away from the French language, far away from his family, far away from the open-hearted person he used to be.

He became xenophobic, as though blaming every immigrant to be the cause for his unhappy life. Even his own children, now coming to visit him every second week, weren’t safe from his drunk, racist slurs. But staying with their mother wasn’t an option either, as she soon married again, had two new children, blacker than Lu and their brother Urhie, happier, more normal. To the new husband’s sight, Lu and Urhie were a thorn, a mistake his wife had committed and simply couldn’t make undo, a chore. So every second week, Urhie would take their little brother by the hand, go on a train, and travel yet again across the country. It wasn’t perfect. Neither home felt right, and because of the going back and forth, it was nearly impossible to make proper friends at their two schools. And when they did, and the other kids found out that the Travers were children of divorce, they’d be bullied for it. Leaving one county was always filled with anxiety, wondering what would await them on the other side of this train ride. But at least they had each other.

Urhie was a happy boy. He barely remembered his parents fighting, and while the travelling and bullying, later the lack of parental love as well, took a toll on him, he at least had an older sibling who protected him. There was nothing Lu wouldn’t have done for Urhie. They taught him all the best curse words, helped them with the homeworks, built the best blanket forts and painted the greatest tigers onto their face, read them all the Comic books and stole just so much candy for them. They also took their father’s beatings, and got all the chores for their mother done so that their presence would be at least tolerated. At school, they’d meet each other in the courtyard, and Lu made sure that Urhie never felt lonely. Never felt like all of this was his fault. After all, somehow, Lu always knew that it had been their fault, and their fault alone. All the mysterious little things that had happened, the incidents which their parents used to accuse each other of and which led to the awful arguments – that had been all Lu, hadn’t it?

The famous Beauxbaton Flower Petals proved them right. They flew in through the window, even though Lu had been so sure to close it, and that was the end of their childhood. Everything about Beauxbaton was brilliant. The uniforms, the people, the teachers, the building, and of course the magic. Everything felt like a dream. A beautiful, rare, fantastical dream that had to be true simply because Lu knew their brain could’ve never come up with something like this on its own. Was it hard to believe that they were a Wix? No. Was it hard to tell their parents about it? Oh, yes.

Their father responded with a slap to the face. “Stop with your jokes.” The Beauxbaton Secretary, who came a few days later, performed a few spells and while Lu’s eyes grew wide with wonder, their father’s grew darker and darker. Perhaps it was anger, that his child was even stranger and more different than he had expected. Perhaps it was a form of jealousy. Their mother – forbidden to say anything to her husband – cried and cried until all her tears were out and then cried some more, with a dry face now. No one quite understood why but when she finally stopped after five long days, she also stopped acknowledging Lu’s presence. They had died for her, and in the rare cases she needed something of them, a chore done, she’d speak of them in the third person, detached, as though they were just not in the room, but not even in this realm.

But none of this was bad. Not compared to how it affected Urhie. At first there was eagerness: “So you think I’ll go to Beauxbaton, too, when I’m older?!” But no matter how much they tried to make things change colour, nothing ever happened. And when Lu was about to start their fifth year at Beauxbaton, and no Flower Petals came for Urhie, their relationship changed. Brusquely and irreversibly. Urhie grew quiet, visibly hurt, at first internalising, later placing all the disappointment in his broken life on their sibling. When they were with their mother, they now played with their half-siblings, or did the chores before Lu could do them, wordlessly. When they were with their father, they hid in their room and blasted music, letting Lu face the violence alone, but instead of kissing the wounds afterwards, he now didn’t even acknowledge them.

And the more Lu tried to escape the tension – staying at Beauxbaton over the holidays, ward themselves with spells at night, or spend more time in the Wizarding City of Antwerpen and Liège – the more Urhie resented them. It was a betrayal. Lu was able to live in a world where there was magic, where there was happiness, and he wasn’t. The traitor was Lu. And so they paid for it.

By their seventeenth birthday and their graduation from Beauxbaton, they had no home anymore.

OCCUPATION: Escort

Dancing the Devil’s Tango, you know? Playing the flute, you could say. Knowing how to truly enjoy eating a banana, is another way to phrase it. Practicing throat massages, loving the nightly work out and specific stretching positions, giving people excuses to wash their bed sheets more often. You get the idea, I’m done. No, wait, one more: Horse back riding but without the horse.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Lu thinks they’re losing. They’re not powerful enough, not strong enough, not smart enough to do anything against the upper class society that has always ruled over this country and will always rule over this country. No, they don’t think they’re bad people or acting against the law, but it all seems so futile. Such great efforts for what? Perhaps a few years of peace before the next racist radical group arises? Adapting is the key, not fighting, no revolution has ever gone anywhere productive, and because the Order isn’t even trying to adapt and make use of those inside of it with privilege, Lu is both condescending towards them, as well as mildly bemused by them.

They affiliated themselves nevertheless because they want to be protected.

First, if their secret ever came out, that they’re really a Mudblood, then the Order might be there for Lu until they can get out of the country. Possibly even help them back to Belgium. Secondly, if the Order does win the war, they don’t want to be known as a Death Eater.

They’re not a Death Eater and certainly don’t have the Dark Mark, but you’d be surprised how deep into their dinner-party affairs you can sneak when you’re only considered the hors d’oeuvre. Nevertheless, Lu’s somewhat affiliated. So if the Order wins the war and their affiliation is revealed, it would be best to be in the Order to say, oh no, I was just working as a double agent, I’m not actually a bad person.

So that was why they began helping the Order out, a few months after coming to England. Nothing big, only some very personal information or clear descriptions of locations that could be useful for Order missions. The reason the Order had such a detailed description of the Nott house in December, was because Lu had taken the freedom to ‘get lost on their way to the bathroom’ and have a snoop around. It was their first ‘trial’ to help the Order with something.

For three months now they’d been helping the Order, solely for their own protection. Until. Well. Until this New Years, when the Death Eaters decided to go against Muggles.

Their war against Mudbloods, Lu had always been able to understand, to accept. Muggleborns couldn’t properly fit into the Wizarding World, not without completely getting rid of their Muggle side. And who would want to do that? To split one’s soul for two completely different styles of life… That simply wasn’t healthy.

But Muggles? Those innocent, stupid bastards? What have they done? Who will protect them? Who will protect Urhie? Lu doesn’t let themself think that name, but that’s the source of their fears, isn’t it?

SURVIVAL:

Lu came to England as an extended family member of the Travers family. Their real name is, in fact, Travers, but that’s pure coincidence, and there’s no relation to the famous British pureblood family at all. It was only with Mundungus Fletcher’s information and a bit of conning that Lu made themself pass as a member of the Sacred 28. Well, that, and long eyelashes batting with promise of the kind of night you don’t dare speaking to your wife about.

At first it seemed risky to burst into the Upper Pureblood Society without a proper patron, but soon enough Lu realised that while the British liked to present themselves as quiet and respectable, they were no less naughty than the French. Living in a small country Manor, part of the Travers heritage, there’s rarely ever a day – or rather night – that passes without visit. And because none of those patrons are the kind of people to speak about their private affairs, Lu lives more easily than ever before.

It would probably be very easy to just stay out of the war, play innocent in case the Phoenix side wins. But what if all purebloods get persecuted at the end of the war? So it’s safer to play on both sides. And if the Death Eaters catch Lu meddling with the Order, they can simply say it’s a matter of double-agenting as well. Only properly joining the Order could be a proper risk, and until very recently Lu had absolutely no desire to do that. For what? To get sent into a mission and die? You wish!

But, well, now New Years has happened and sitting still in their country Manor is not as easy anymore, is it? So while everyone is seeking out safety, Lu is, for the first time, leaving their comfortable den, to get themself into trouble. Stupid? Perhaps. Well. Yes, actually. Most definitely very stupid. But… There’s this feeling. This knowledge that danger lies ahead, but that taking a beating or two is all worth it, if at least it will protect Urhie…

RELATIONSHIPS:

In general, Lu is careful not to make close friends.

Oh, their official list of friends is as long as the guest list for a Gatsby Party, sure, but the people that actually know Lu are … non-existent. In the past, whenever there was someone who came too close to Lu, learnt too much and made it hard for them to continue playing the role of luxurious party host and resident play-toy, they’d jump ship. Go to a new country. Find new friends.

At the moment they’re physically very close with a handful of Death Eaters, but none of them ask Lu for private information, only see them as a fun pass-time, and Lu lives for it. There is safety in not being known. Safety in being loved for all the wrong reasons, never hated for all the right reasons.

When it comes to the people of the Order – most of which Lu has yet to meet – they’re rather indifferent to them. Do they have money? Flair? A sense of humour and an ability to hold their liquor? Let’s be friends! Are they bland and all about the war? All right. Let’s focus on the war. They have no interest in being close to any of those people but that doesn’t mean they’re rude to them. They affiliated themselves with the Order for protection, and they are trying to join now to help the Muggles. Much like you treat your local grocery shop lady, Lu is friendly to them, not really trying to play serious or their glamour-card, just interacting in a professional manner. But again, if there are people in the Order who they think could pay for their bling, they will not draw the line just because they’re in the Order. They see the Order the same way they see the Death Eaters: they don’t care much about their ideologies but sees them as individual people.

Suggestions, as discussed with the players:

Peter Pettigrew/Severus Snape: Both of them are Death Eaters, both of them know the faces that hide behind the masks, both of them are wildly aware what that person, who is helping the Order get to personal information about Death Eaters, is properly doing to get to that information. They know Lu’s not a Death Eater, but they also know they’re not fully on the Order’s side. Interestingly enough, they’re the only people Lu’s wary off – on Death Eater side. The Inner Circle of the Order knows that they must be somewhat close to the Death Eaters, but the Death Eaters can under no circumstances learn that Lu’s flirting with the Order. Luckily, both Peter and Severus are also aware of the power that Lu holds against them, so there’s a mutual tension and black-mailing potential going on.

Mundungus Fletcher: Mundungus is the reason why Lu made it to Britain. The two of them met at a bar in Paris, where Mundungus was currently being caught red-handed in a con-gone-awry. Lu helped him and then “I owe you.” “Great. I actually got something I need help with right now.” At first Mundungus seemed irritated that a Muggleborn wants to play Pureblood, but he showed up the next day at Lu’s place anyway, ready to help them con the British Pureblood Society. Their relationship is riddled with quarrels, jabs and insults, but somehow they can’t quite go longer than a week without going out on a drink together again.

Lily Evans: Is reason for great conflict to Lu. On the one hand, she’s a stupid Muggleborn who isn’t even trying to conceal her identity. On the other hand, she’s clearly a talented Witch. Best of her year, they say? So maybe all those prejudices against Muggleborns isn’t actually true? So while at the moment Lu is still facing her with an air of hostility and sceptical arrogance, they do want to know how she’s doing it; finding all this bravery. It might do them well to learn of another Muggleborn’s past. Either because it’ll teach them that not all Muggles are bad, or because it’ll reinforce this idea that Muggles are in fact not suited to know about magic, that the Statue of Secrecy must be kept at all cost.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: Lu x Dumbledore only, please. Only supreme Sugar Daddies acceptable for my Lu.

No, but seriously, I’d like for Lu to actually get attached for once. You’ll see, they’re very vain and shallow, but beneath all that there’s a genuinely sweet person who wants to be protected as much as they want to protect. So whether that be someone older who fits their usual prey – homewrecking is their speciality! –, or someone younger who they wouldn’t even consider as a romantic partner, I’m very open to it all.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

I think it is safe to say that now that Lu has adopted the Sacred 28 name Travers as their own, they have all the privileges one can only image. They live in a big house with maids and footmen, and while they don’t actually live off the heritage of a long-lost aunt fifth removed like they’ve told the Purebloods they hang out with now, they do have their means to get by. Gain enough money to spend it on all sorts of fun activities.

And because they’ve stopped entering the Muggle world about five years ago, they’re also facing barely any prejudices concerning their skin colour – or extravagant clothes. The former seeming to be a prejudice indeed mostly fostered by a people that took too long to begin travelling the world, the latter a prejudice for a people that has never had a sense of fashion to begin with. The traditional Wizarding costumes are colourful and grand by nature, dramatic in all the right ways, and Lu savours it.

Coming to their own biases and prejudices.

Against Muggles: Stupid, hostile, irrelevant, prejudiced to a painful degree. As the above written paragraph makes it obvious, Lu doesn’t think kindly of their own once-upon-a-time kin – surely because of the way they were treated by them.

Against Muggleborns: Actually, deep down, knowing themselves quite the skilled Magician, they don’t really believe that Muggleblood washes out your powers. However, they do think that every Muggleborn who is still staying in Britain at the moment, without even trying to conceal their identity, is the epitome of stupid.

Against Halfbloods: Barely of any relevance to Lu, but if you’d dug deeper you’d find that they might think any Wizard stupid who thought to marry a Muggle. Can’t be that grand of a family, if there’s traces of dementedness in their blood, right? But mostly they don’t care.

Against Purebloods: In Lu’s opinion, every Pureblood is inherently more powerful than Muggleborns or Halfbloods. I know, I said they know themselves to be incredibly skilled, but those contradictions exist within themselves the same way everything else splits them into two sides. They’ve spent so much time around Purebloods that they can no longer separate the truth from lies, and their beliefs have seeped into their own skin, with a tendency to make them believe they might actually be less skilled at magic as they once thought they were. It’s one of the reasons why they barely ever use magic around Purebloods – simply not to accidentally prove themselves as weak-blooded. They also think all Purebloods are rich.

Against Halfbreeds: Between the horrid prejudices spread by the Pureblood Circles they hang out in, and their own Muggle background, halfbreeds are inherently unhuman to them. In fairy tales, you didn’t see magical creatures be given human emotions. The goblins were greedy, the sirens were sexual predators, the wolves were to devour you. Surely it’s the same in the real world. The house elves love serving, the veelas love dancing on pianos at cocktail parties, and the werewolves want nothing but to kill humans. No matter how much human blood they got in their veins, at the end they’re their fairytale trait… The same way you can’t just shake your Muggleblood, right?

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

More lovely time with lovely people.

I’m going for Lu because they’re primarily a fun person, their sadness is so deep in that it will be fun to navigate them through a war, maybe bring some ease to the dash!

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

Lu is currently not in the Order. I’d like for them to make it in, because at the moment that’s their goal. They went from ‘affiliated for personal protection’ to ‘I might actually want to do something good in this war’, which is a pretty big step. The reason for this (wanting to protect their brother) is not something they’ve yet admitted to, and I think if the Order questioned them on why they want to join, it might come to the light of day, and I’d like to see them face their prejudices against Muggles.

I could also imagine a plot, much much further down the line, of them being found out a Muggleborn. Literally being kicked out of the Travers house, and losing all their patrons, etc, etc, and being about to leave Britain to run home before stopping and maybe deciding to properly serve the Order now.

But before that, the revelation of HOW it comes that they’ve got such easy access to Death Eater’s personal information. Because while Snape has ‘what’s going on’ information, Lu’s got the ‘who’s sleeping in which room, and how many house elves are employed in a household’ kind of information. It would be interesting to see someone questioning how Lu can know all this and then therefore learning what exactly they’re doing to be this close to Death Eaters. I don’t think they’re trying to hide that they’re an – in pg13 words – Escort, but I can imagine that flaunting love affairs with Death Eaters could pose some problems if they want to be trusted by the Order.

ANYTHING ELSE? Yes! Their Order status at the moment is Affiliated.

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

PAST:

Once there was nothing more important to Lu than their little brother, Urhie. So when the magical Flower Petals came and invited Lu – and only Lu – to join Beauxbaton, something inside of them broke apart, was left behind, died. Their parents had divorced and for months they had spent commuting back and forth between the two households with Urhie by the hand, protecting them from the bribing, the exhaustion, and the inevitable feeling that they weren’t quite as loved as they should be. And now Urhie was supposed to just do all of this alone? Beauxbaton was splendid, magic was splendid, the life the French Wizarding World offered was splendid – but was it all worth it if they had to do it without Urhie? Unfortunately, going home was soon no longer an option. Their mother had a new family and the man didn’t like her children from the first marriage, and their father had slipped into right-winged circles, throwing slurs at the children the moment alcohol touched his lips. For Lu it was easy, they could stay at Beauxbaton over the holidays, ward themselves with spells or spend more time in Wizarding Liège – but Urhie? Tension between the brothers grew. And then Lu met Ferrari. A Wizard from the Russian high society who drove a very luxurious horse carriage (which earned him the name even if no one but Lu understood), and his offer was simple: Join me. Join me, let me bathe you in riches, let me take you on golden adventures, let me introduce to you the most glistening personalities of the Wizarding World. Join me, and all you have to do from now on is look pretty and kneel before me. Lu accepted – and Urhie never forgave them.

PRESENT:

Lu Travers, Pureblood Wix Extraordinaire. That’s how they’re known now. They had quickly become a brilliant gem of the Pureblood Wizarding world, a name people – that is, those with gold piles to their dragon – around the globe knew and invited to their parties hungrily. For years Lu travelled the world, first with Ferrari, then with whoever seemed willing to give them more. And more and more. They were never satisfied. Had the world previously been a crowded train ride between Antwerpen and Liège, it soon turned into the most brilliant and colourful oyster for them to slurp up. Paris, New York, Tokyo, Sydney, Capetown, wherever there were Wix of a pure blood and a decadent culture, Lu went there, lying about where they really came from and soon fitting in more smoothly than most actual Purebloods. Only one world remained closed to them: The Sacred 28 of Great Britain. It was Mundungus Fletcher who reminded Lu that they happened to share a name with one of those Pureblood families, and before they knew it, they were smuggled into London, now on their knees before the most infamous Wizards in history. Lu adores it here. Everything is just the right amount of traditional and elegant, and even though the Sacred 28 are quite careful with keeping the true nature of their relation to Lu a secret, none of them are shy to approach them. They’ve never lived any better. The only problem is this bloody war and the fact that it is, in fact, waging against Lu and their kin. If their secret comes out, it’ll be the end of them. And worse. What if the other side wins? Isn’t there this Phoenix Order? Perhaps it would be best to join them, so that if they win, Lu can say they’ve just played double agent with the Death Eaters? Not that the Order seems to be winning. And Lu doesn’t care – if only his employers hadn’t suddenly decided to kill Muggles…

FC CHOICES: Keiynan Lonsdale (they/them), Chance Pomodoro (he/him), Jordan Fisher (he/him)

reason:

https://youtu.be/8NS22iANsnQ?t=100

“oh damn” – scene change

and the following 40 seconds of that video.

#marauders rp #marauders rpg #marauders era rpg #bio rp #harry potter rp #homenumaccepted

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birdlord · 4 years

Text

Everything I Watched in 2019

Movies

The number in parentheses is year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year.

01 The Death of Stalin (17) does a neat trick of building goodwill for Steve Buscemi’s Krushchev, then brutally pays that off in the last few minutes.

02 Sorry to Bother You (18)

03 Support the Girls (18)

04 Paddington (14)*

05 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (16)

06 Eighth Grade (18) probably the most terrifying movie I watched all year, if you didn’t watch it through your fingers, who even are you?

07 Morvern Callar (02) much less bleak than the book, but then, nearly anything would be

08 The Favourite (18) revolting and beautiful.

09 Columbus (17) a really lovely movie about architecture and parent-child relationships.

10 Bring it On (00)*

11 The Land of Steady Habits (18) feels wackier than your average Holofcener, but still a good watch.

12 Spotlight (15) i was really bowled over by this, and wasn’t expecting to be. Workmanlike filmmaking, but an extraordinary story, well-told.

13 The Killing of a Sacred Deer (17) Barry Keoghan is a blank, but somehow compelling screen presence. This one has an ending that made me bark with laughter.

14 Legends of the Fall (94)

15 Moneyball (11)* if you don’t feel like watching anything in particular, you can always watch Moneyball

16 If Beale St Could Talk (18) very beautiful, but I failed to connect with it on any other level.

17 For Keeps (88)

18 Abducted in Plain Sight (17)

19 Oscar Shorts (Animated) (18) the offerings were very sappy this year, but the winner was decent! Lots of Toronto content (weird).

20 Oscar Shorts (Live Action) (18) *unquestionably* the worst one of these won ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21 Velvet Buzzsaw (19)

22 Vice (18) ugh

23 Friends with Money (06)

24 Can You Ever Forgive Me (18)

25 Bohemian Rhapsody (18) haha what. was. that.

26 Mars Attacks (96)*

27 Paddington 2 (18)

28 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (92)*

29 Shoplifters (18)

30 Blindspotting (18) jacked Ethan Embry in a supporting role?! Whither? Howso? Wherefore?

31 Witness (85)

32 Harry & the Hendersons (87)*

33 The Matrix (99)*

34 T2 Trainspotting (17)

35 Blockers (18)

36 The Slums of Beverly Hills (98)

37 Can’t Hardly Wait (98)*

38 Avengers: Infinity War (18)

39 Iron Man II (10)

40 Isle of Dogs (18)

41 Chinatown (74)*

42 To Live & Die in LA (85)

43 Age of Innocence (93) Daniel Day-Lewis manages to make Newland Archer compelling, where in the novel he’s...the worst?!

44 Shopgirl (05)*

45 The House (17) didn’t sustain all the way through, but then, that’s how mainstream comedies often go.

46 The Beguiled (17)

47 Badlands (73)*

48 Poetic Justice (93)

49 The Empire Strikes Back (80)*

50 Calibre (18)

51 The Kindergarten Teacher (18)

52 Hounds of Love (17) a nice little Aussie thriller, set in the 80s

53 Kicking & Screaming (95)*

54 Octopussy (83)*

55 Jaws (79)*

56 Lover Come Back (61)

57 Frenzy (72)

58 Always Be My Maybe (19)

59 Certain Women (16) took a while to get to this one, but it’s as great as they say it is.

60 Baby Driver (17) all flash, little substance.

61 Sneakers (92)

62 Roadhouse (87)*

63 Bull Durham (88)*

64 Ghostbusters (84)*

65 Booksmart (19) I think this will improve on multiple viewings, though I loved the soundtrack and the mix of characters.

66 Hereditary (18)

67 Rebecca (40) George Sanders as Rebecca’s cousin is BRILLIANT

68 Vertigo (58)*

69 The Dead Don’t Die (19)

70 Crawl (19)

71 Dazed & Confused (93)* If you don’t watch this once a summer, what is wrong with you?

72 Jackie Brown (97)

73 Talk Radio (88)

74 The Guilty (18)

75 Killing Heydrich (17)

76 Lady Bird (17)*

77 Billy Elliot (00)*

78 White House Down (13)* Channing Potatum saves the White House!

79 The Film Worker (17)

80 Whitney (18)

81 Mascot (16)

82 Apocalypse Now (79)* technically I’d only seen the Redux version from the early 2000s, so the regular cut is new to me.

83 Apollo 13 (95)*

84 Psycho 2 (83) the twist is very guessable, but there are a couple of nice-looking scenes.

85 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (04)*

86 The Bodyguard (92)*

87 Murder Mystery (19)

88 Wildlife (18)

89 The Stepford Wives (75)*

90 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (71)*

91 The Natural (84)

92 The Other Boleyn Girl (08)

93 Speed (94)*

94 Opera (87)

95 That’s my Boy (12) haha what?!

96 The Big Short (15)

97 Elizabeth the Golden Age (07)

98 The Glass Castle (17) when I read the book, I genuinely thought it was fiction, it’s so insane.

99 Dawn of the Dead (78)*

100 All About Eve (50) lady on lady violence is a special thing

101 La La Land (16)

102 Morning Glory (10) remember Rachel McAdams?

103 Casino (95)*

104 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (06)

105 Pet Sematary (19)

106 Clue (85)*

107 Her Smell (18) amazing soundtrack and the songs were well-chosen. Heartbreaking musical moment in the final act.

108 Bobby Sands: 66 Days (16)

109 She’s Gotta Have it (86)

110 Good Morning (59)

111 Hustlers (19) I didn’t connect with this as much as the reviews led me to believe I might.

112 Nocturnal Animals (16)

113 Kill Bill Vol 1 (03) I’d only ever seen the second one before, being a non-Tarantino completionist.

114 Fried Green Tomatoes (91)* I watch this more than anticipated...

115 Steel Magnolias (89)

116 Notting Hill (99)*

117 A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (19) the tiny city models were inspired!

118 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89)*

119 Let It Snow (19)

120 Frozen (13)

121 The Irishman (19) most interesting as a sort of pastiche/reckoning on the part of Scorsese about his other gangster films. Really outmoded view of unions. Definitely could have been edited down if anyone were able to come to it without undue reverence, but I did love the bit about the fish.

122 Girls Trip (17) actual plot is beside the point.

123 About a Boy (02)* I always think of this as the “vomit and sweaters” movie, anyone else?

124 Animal House (78)*

DOCUMENTARY : FICTION - 4:120

THEATRE : HOME - 9:115

TV Series

01 Russian Doll - I think I would have enjoyed this more if it hadn’t been bingeable - would have made a nice week-by-week discussion sort of show. I loved to watch the changes between re-ups of our major characters, and I think the actual plotting would reward re-watches.

02 Catastrophe S4 - A satisfying ending to an excellent show, with very charismatic leads (and deeply weird supporting characters). Had to write around Carrie Fisher’s death, and I’m sure did a better job of it than Star Wars did.

03 Friends from College S2 - More of the same, which is what I was after. A show like cotton candy (but with more infidelity).

04 High Maintenance S3 - A lot more of this season took place outside of New York City, which was a great change of pace. And a great deal more information about The Guy and his own life; both difficulties and successes included.

05 Losers - This was a great little docuseries on Netflix that I didn’t hear a lot of people talking about - it’s about sports losses, but unusual sports ie curling, figure skating and the like. You’d think it would get repetitive, being as it’s always about recovering after loss, but it doesn’t! I wish they would make another season….

06 Shrill - a tight six episode dramedy about an alt-weekly journalist in the Pacific Northwest, based on Lindy West’s memoir of the same name. John Cameron Mitchell as her boss (based on Dan Savage) stands out of the ensemble cast, as does Annie’s roommate played by a British standup Lolly Adefope.

07 Broad City S5 - I haven’t always kept up with Broad City, but I came back to it for its final season, and thought it did a good job of setting its characters up for big changes in their lives.

08 I Think You Should Leave - It’s easy to assume that all sketch comedy is terrible and always will be, but then you see this, and throw your TV out the window (due to all the laffs)

09 Fleabag S2 - Everything you’ve heard is true, this season is goddamn hilarious and ridiculously sexy. A huge step up from the first season, which was already pretty fantastic and incisive.

10 Fosse/Verdon - Musicals are not particularly my bag, so I’m sure there was a lot that I missed in terms of references, but the lead performances ably carried me through all of the time jumps and various performances.

11 Stranger Things S3 - Say it after me: d-i-m-i-n-i-s-h-i-n-g r-e-t-u-r-n-s! Maya Hawke kills it, though.

12 Big Little Lies S2 - Unnecessary, and (if possible) even sillier than the first season.

13 Lorena - Part of the ongoing quest to rehabilitate the maligned women of the 1990s, this gave me tons of context that I had no idea about at the time, due to being a dumb kid.

14 Glow S3 - I felt like I was losing steam on this series this year, but episodes like the camping ep kept me coming back. A great ensemble, though some unusual character choices (like a certain kiss *cough*) took me out of it by times.

15 Lodge 49 S1-3 - I’d kept hearing about this show, so I finally sought it out. I can’t say it was amazingly compelling (I almost dropped it after the first season) but it’s definitely an oddball of a show, slipping from setpiece to setpiece with little regard for logic. For me, a background show.

16 Chernobyl - This show really gave me the Bad Feeling, humans were definitely A Mistake.

17 On Becoming a God in Central Florida - Kiki in a trashy mode, not as infinitely appealing as the version she pulled off in the second season of Fargo, but scrappy and industrious nonetheless.

18 Show Me a Hero - I’d put off watching this for years, it felt like it was going to be too dull (housing policy in Yonkers?) but it’s great, and larded up with Bruce Springsteen songs, obvs.

19 Great British Bake Off S9-S10 - I’d also held off on watching this for a long time, out of loyalty to Mel, Sue, and Mary Berry. But I needed some comfort viewing towards the end of the summer, and the new hosts and judge do an able job, although the show’s tropes are feeling a bit well-worn at this point.

20 Righteous Gemstones S1 - A rollicking ride for sure, with a great cast. Your mileage/patience with Danny McBride may vary, so keep that in mind, naturally.

21 This Way Up S1 - A small show starring the fabulous Aisling Bea, about mental health and families and some nice comic physical acting. Oh, and in case you were watching The Crown and crushing on Tobias Menzies’ version of Prince Phillip, he plays a hot dad love interest in this, which gives you all the Tobias you’re looking for, without the PP racisms.

22 The Crown S3 - This is the first season of the big cast switchover, and I thought it stuck reasonably well, once we were in it an episode or two. This season concentrated even less on Elizabeth herself, preferring her sister, husband, and (newly!) her children.

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mautadite · 4 years

Text

february book round up

13 books this month. (haha, half of what i read in january, but i knew i wasn’t going to duplicate that, no way.) a pretty mixed bag.

in praise of shadows - junichiro tanizaki ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a really really interesting non fiction work on japanese versus western aesthetics, the use of shadows and light, darkness and exposure. talks about architecture, art, people, culture, theatre... i enjoyed this a lot.

beneath a scarlet sky - mark sullivan ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a good story, extremely badly told. it’s a novel of italy in wwii, following a young man who falls in love, guides jews to switzerland, becomes a spy... a lot happens. it’s heavily based the true story of pino lella’s life but man the author should have stuck to bare facts (even if there weren’t many) because his writing is... not good. not structurally, or narratively, or just his prose.

the fever king - victoria lee ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ this book gave me the always frustrating horror of showing kids being manipulated by adults and the kids don’t know it but you the reader do know it and it’s AGONY. queer teen scifi in a dystopian future where magic manifests as a sickness and those who overcome it develop powers. the world-building was really really interesting, the writing was tight, the characters were amazing. THEY’RE MY KIDS NOW. really looking forward to the sequel.

yellow crocus - laila benjamin ⭐️⭐️⭐️ another well meaning book, lovingly told, but badly told. a novel about an enslaved black wet nurse and her charge, the white daughter of her master, with whom she develops a deep motherly bond. the novel follows them from lisbeth’s (the child) birth to the birth of her own child.you can tell that a lot of research and care and love went into this book, and it didn’t skeeve me off in the usual ways that books about slavery written by non-black people usually do... but it just wasn’t very well written.

boystown 2 - marshall thornton ⭐️⭐️⭐️ second set of stories about a gay private eye solving mysteries in the 80s. in this instalment, nick juggles things with his sort-of-not-really boyfriend, gets complicated feelings about his ex-boyfriend, and has bunch of sex with a bunch of guys who aren’t either of those men. interesting mysteries once again, though one of them kinda ticked me off.

no two ways - chi yu rodriguez ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f romance about a bi girl who hooks up with a lesbian and starts falling for her pretty quickly... but then finds out she’s a huge biphobe. this was good...? but the leads had almost no chemistry, it took too long for jackie to get an attitude change, and when she did, she got off way too easily.

northanger abbey - jane austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ fun stuff, very enjoyable. i really like how austen does humour, and there’s some good stuff in here about sexist microaggressions and the art of novels. and i really liked the hero.

proper english - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ AHHHHHH. i really like k.j. charles, and i was SO EXCITED when i found out she’d dipped her toes into f/f romance. this was wonderful. a very satisfying mystery, the kind that gives all the right hints and clues and allows the reader to figure it out if they’re paying attention, but introduces just enough doubt that you’re not sure. and the characters! the romance! i loved these two women in their first appearance in ‘think of england’ I LOVED THEM EVEN MORE HERE. pat’s assertiveness, fen’s flirtiness... gah.

perfect rhythm - jae ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f/ romance with an ace protag. very cute, if a bit... idk wooden at times? in the writing, the way asexuality was talked about, some of the delivery of the jokes. it definitely wasn’t bad; the characters were complicated and flawed in real ways, and i feel like their romance progressed very naturally, and it was super fulfilling in the end. it just needed a little something more, writing-wise. also, did not enjoy the way it treated the closeted side character. :/

the gentleman and the rogue - bonnie dee & summer devon ⭐️⭐️ this book made me realise... i don’t think i’ve ever read a fiction book written by two authors that i thoroughly enjoyed? i just don’t gel with most people’s approaches to co-writing. not that that was the only thing wrong with this book. historical m/m romance between a veteran lord and the guttersnipe he hires as his new valet. i don’t like rich/poor romance where the rich person doesn’t buy a clue, i don’t like structural inequality played straight, i don’t like plots that are so thin it seems like the author didn’t want to write one. and the writing itself left much to be desired.

scrap metal - harper fox ⭐️⭐️⭐️ really sweet contemporary m/m romance set on a small scottish island, between a phd student who has suddenly been called back to work on the farm he grew up on, and the mysterious man who shows up on the farm in the middle of the night. i really like harper fox’s writing; she can sometimes have the loveliest way with words. and the romance was super well done. my nitpicks with this book are kinda silly but i had them all the same. it hit some squicks of mine and also i really don’t like when harper fox slips in the paranormal as a side-element int he books. why? i don’t know! but i don’t like it.

switchback - s.w. andersen ⭐️⭐️ i only got this audiobook because i really like nicol zanzarella, the narrator. and i mean it’s lesbian romance featuring a mountain bike rider and a chiropractor? neat right? wrong, it was boring and badly written. alas! man i hate omniscient pov, especially for romance.

mama black widow - iceberg slim ⭐️⭐️⭐️ semi-biographical novel of a black drag queen living in the ghettos of 1960s chicago. follows him from childhood to his prime to his decline, with a heavy focus on his childhood and relationship with his mother and the many tragedies that befell him and this family. heavy focus on race, sexuality, and violence. (don’t go into this without hella warnings.) i enjoyed it, mostly, though i felt that doylist misogyny coming through hard. it was written in the 1960s and it shows lol.

and that’s it for february. i started a new job today and probably won’t have a lot of reading time, but i’ll continue to do as much audiobooking as i can on public transportation. currently doing a reread of the hobbit, which i 100% started as a self comfort thing, and will probably be ready very sparsely throughout the month. going to start a hundred little lies.

#book talk #long post

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

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evens. go pee.

awesome Thank you, i Did pee

2:How long have you known your best friend?

a year

4:Were you a part of any “clique” in high school?

fun fact i didn’t go to high school. in middle school i sat at the corner of the odds n ends losers lunch table and usually read, lol. in college i eventually was kind of in the peripherals of a theatre-dept-y group, like, the odds and ends of some odds and ends right there really

6:Do you wish to travel a lot?

it would be cool if i at least knew that i Could

10:Do you like the way that you grew up?

it was lucky in some ways but overall it was some real bs

18:A random memory from you childhood:

idk in kindergarten there was a field trip to just some nearish-by farm i think to pick strawberries as a goal and after we got there it started to rain and the teachers were like “if it keeps up we’ll probably just have to go back” but then it stopped raining after like five minutes, so that was exciting for us as 5 yr olds. also i just always remember these two kids were “dating”?? which like, what’s that possibly mean when you’re five, but whatever, but this also afforded them some sort of Cool Kid status. and now i’m just like christ how can a 5 yr old possibly be cool. one of their names was jordan, i remember still

20:What was the last thing you watched on tv?

there was this show about like, refurbishing / repurposing old furniture basically, and it was on and i was sitting there. the last thing that was on that i like, picked, was i thiiiink still the pre-halloween movie marathon

22:Would you like to meet any of your Tumblr friends in person?

sure

22:What was the last dream you remember having?

just boring too-irl-based anxiety dreams. boo

24:How many pillows do you sleep with?

one

26:What color is your hair?

brown

28:What is your favorite soda?

grape

30:How’s the weather right now?

i knew it was cold and clear like 45 min ago thanks to me peeing outside

32:Who do you miss right now?

well last night i got kinda fucked up abt the idea of ppl having this in-person solid group of friends / people who want to see you and be around you, but then also like, i don’t know if i’m cut out for that as something i’d Actually enjoy, and it’s even less certain that it’d ever happen so it’s like, that was half the depressing stuff, then the other half being “well sucks that that’s never quite happened before already, either.” missing a theoretical concept of people

34:Are you still figuring out who you are?

unfortunately...........there wasn’t much room for “be urself and have your interests and feel free to try stuff / have ur actual identity”

36:What is your favorite restaurant?

idk! lol

38:Would ever adopt kids?

if it was like, an apocalyptic scenario where there was literally nobody more equipped to make sure some kids didn’t die, sure. but also like, if this question is just asking like “adoption: ew or I Guess It’s Fine” then like, obviously i don’t want kids but adoption is great if the parents are actually equipped to handle their kids needs, which is just as true for non-adoptive parents obviously, and it’s not like, a Lesser family member or something, or not as good as ~having a baby yourself~ or only okay as a last resort or anything. if i wanted kids i would adopt kids

40:What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

it was just like aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

42:What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

probably just some kind of funky food combo i’ve ended up w/ cuz of just being hungry, which i can’t think of anything in particular rn lol

44:What’s a band you’ve been obsessed with lately?

haven’t had one

46:Do you have a bucket list?

48:When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach hurt?

i don’t remember.......i’ll laugh p hard at funney video sometimes but not That hard

50:5 random facts about yourself:

1) i’m sweaty at random and if Only i still smelled good....maybe half the time it’s neutral but sometimes i just am like, im stinkey

2) i don’t think i have any allergies (that ppl aren’t allergic to pretty much always, like mosquitoes. mosquitoes love to bite me actually)

3) i like math

4) i used to read / watch / play a lot of mystery-solving media including eventually like, murder mystery related, but not so much in recenter times and it’s like, was that just kinda easing into enjoying the horror genre or what. idk maybe i also just like Mysteries but kinda cooled on that. also speaking of earlier stuff i remember being real bemused after finally finding out that everyone on scooby doo is technically a teenager??? they just Drive Around being given authority to investigate shit and do whatever the hell they want so i figured these were grown people. i also was confused abt the age of sesame street muppets b/c it was like, idk, i figured grover and big bird were also just grown......everyone out here doing Whatever

5) lol idk i like cats and birds like this is obvious lore already but i’ve honestly been sitting here for like 20+ min like “think of a fact” and just like aah no that one sucks.....no that’s just like a boring memory, Think Of A Fact......nah this other one is also shit.........lol like idek what’s a Fun Fact. i’m not too inchsting

#Anonymous

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stormguard798 · 5 years

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Jeremwood Prompt Fills

Whilst doing some brainstorming for my upcoming Jeremwood fic, I decided to do some prompt fill questions to flesh out the characters and thought that it would fun to share with everyone. So here they are! Please note that this is not a GTA AU, and so don’t cover the Vagabond/Rimmy Tim aspects of their personality.

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Neither of them, at least in public. Both of them did not have a particularly affectionate childhood and having faced hate and anger and intolerance from everyone around them, they’ve learned to be very reserved about displaying their affection, so they tend to only show affection behind closed doors. Even then, they typically limit to minimal PDA, but lots of cuddles and hugs.

2. Big spoon/little spoon?

Ryan is absolutely the big spoon, just based on size. He can wrap around Jeremy EASILY. Also, while Jeremy’s are much more enthusiastic and aggressive, Ryan’s hugs are just more comforting and embracing.

3. Most common argument?

About Jeremy being who he is. From Ryan’s family background, he’s a lot more comfortable with his identity, whereas Jeremy is still trying to fit in, so there’s often a conflict between Ryan trying to get him to be more himself against Jeremy trying to slowly ease himself in.

4. Favourite non-sexual activity?

Making food together. We’re not talking reheated frozen spaghetti here; we’re talking 3-course brunch. With Jeremy’s baking expertise and Ryan’s culinary skills, they make some pretty good food - along with a mess in the kitchen that neither wants to clean up.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

Usually Jeremy despite the height difference; from his experience as a gymnast, footballer and in martial arts compared to Ryan’s complete lack of working out, so he has the strength to lift even Ryan up.

6. Favourite features of their partner?

Jeremy loves Ryan’s mischievous smirk as if he’s about to do something risqué or dangerous, that creates the sexy, mysterious air about him. On the other hand, Ryan loves it when Jeremy lets out his infectious smile and his dimples really pop out as he is doing so.

7. First thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for each other?

They start actively avoiding and externally hating each other. Seriously. At the time, Jeremy was still trying to suppress his feelings and Ryan was still trying to work them out, so instead of actively communicating, Jeremy tried to completely shut Ryan out, even after Ryan was finally ready to talk.

8. Nicknames?

Nicknames? Seriously? Jeremy could initially barely call Ryan boyfriend, let alone use any terms of affection like ‘honey’ or ‘baby’. They may collectively call themselves by the ‘Battle Buddies’, but they tend to refer to themselves just by their names.

9. Who worries the most?

Jeremy worries much more about other people’s perceptions of him as he’s always so concerned about what other people think of him, and therefore is always trying to change his perception to fit that; Ryan, on the other hand, has always tried to stay true to who he is, and understands that while not everybody may agree with who he is or how he behaves, not that he really cares for other people’s opinions regardless, he takes pride in standing his own ground.

10. Who remembers what the other one orders in a restaurant?

Jeremy. Throughout his life, he has been very careful and detail orientated, and although he initially doesn’t delve into the ‘bedroom’ side of activities, he’s very much a ‘people-pleaser’ and wants everything to be perfect for their romantic partner. While Ryan also remembers generally what Jeremy likes, and they basically both like the same things (hint: junk food, and meat), Jeremy remembers all the details i.e. sauce on the side, and the sauce that’s not even on the menu.

11. Who tops?

Usually Ryan, but it’s not really a fixed role, and they will be versatile depending on the mood. However, it doesn’t factor a huge role in their life: they greatly enjoy going for typically date-like romantic outings to theatre or even on occasion, to a football game. The absolute horror. Jeremy still does play in a friendly football league, and on occasion, Ryan does begrudgingly come and watch.

12. Who initiates kisses?

Jeremy initiated the first kiss by just going up to him, and does so even now, often catching Ryan by surprise with his bouts of affection. Ryan, however, will definitely initiate other forms of affection such as massive hugs, or just lifting Jeremy into the air.

13. Who reaches for the other person’s hand first?

Jeremy will more often reach for Ryan’s to be reassured, and Ryan will more often reach for Jeremy’s to reassure him. Since they don’t really hold hands in public, it happens more often at the dining table when they’re having an emotional discussion.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

Jeremy kisses with much more vigorous and enthusiasm, just like all of his actions, but Ryan is much more tender and careful, properly taking care of whoever he’s kissing.

15. Who wakes up first?

Ryan is used to waking up quite early in the morning, often going for a jog in the morning before heading back for breakfast. However, they are both ‘morning’ people, and are quite energetic in the morning, with Jeremy waking up at around 7 regardless.

16. Who wants to stay in bed longer?

Jeremy. Not necessarily for sleeping more, but just nagging Ryan so that they can stay in and just be in each other’s company a little longer. Sometimes they’ll just be in bed, no sex, and just chat and talk about random, benign conversation topics.

17. Who says I love you first?

Jeremy. Even after being a complete ass to Ryan in his youth, Ryan still stands by Jeremy throughout all the difficulties he has faced and is incredibly patient with him, with Jeremy saying it when he realises that Ryan will always stand by his side and care for him, regardless of what happens, and even if he doesn’t always explicitly show it. And at that moment, Ryan realised the same thing and said it back.

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s lunch?

While Ryan is usually the one who makes lunch, since Jeremy has a stay-at-home job, he’s often less hurried in the morning and therefore has time to pack the lunch bags for Ryan (and their kids!) by adding snacks like fruits and all the other things. Jeremy is usually very enthusiastic with his notes, going along the lines of “Go out there and kick everyone’s ass today. Make sure to make them regret ever crossing you. Completely destroy their socks today.” and so on. XD

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship?

Since all of Ryan’s relatives are dead, Jeremy’s parents were the first and only family members that they told about their relationship, which did not go very well. Ergo with Jeremy’s old group of friends when they gleaned it for themselves, which is what forced Jeremy to essentially start over. Contrary, Ryan’s friends just observed them and worked it out for themselves, and were nicely quite supportive.

20. What do their family/friends think about it?

Jeremy’s parents hate the relationship and refuse to acknowledge Ryan even exists, continuing to try and set him up with females. Due to the still-existing social stigma of same-sex relationships, there is still a massive taboo surrounding their relationship. However, a few of Ryan’s have been very supportive despite their reservations about Jeremy in general, and have even agreed to be beards for him on occasion.

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Granted, Ryan has two left feet and can’t dance at all, whereas Jeremy is much more nimble, and once he gets going, can’t stop, won’t stop, regardless of the bizarre looks from onlookers, particularly if it’s an upbeat song.

22. Who cooks more?

Ryan cooks more as he’s better at it, and did it way more often as a child. However, Jeremy loves baking, which is why there is always cookies or cake at the end of every meal. And why that the most used appliance in the kitchen is the oven.

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick-up lines?

In the company of people that they know well and are comfortable with their relationship, Jeremy will occasionally try and flirt with Ryan with terrible jokes, but neither of them has really picked up or gotten together with anybody previously through such…sad means.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things at inappropriate times?

Jeremy has a tendency to be a prankster, and will occasionally do so just to throw Ryan’s off his serious-face game. It’s not necessarily particularly dirty but is whispered in the low, breathy noise that vaguely sounds sexy. However, it never really embarrasses either of them, mainly because it’s in the company of people they know, or in private, i.e. while cooking, and causing Ryan to drop the pan.

25. Who needs more assurance?

Jeremy, since he’s constantly doubting his own identity and his own abilities, but luckily, Ryan is very good at making him feel confident.

26. What would be their theme song?

I went with the Superfruit version of Katy Perry’s “Rise”. The slightly anthem-like, powerful feel of the song represents how both Ryan and Jeremy have faced numerous difficulties in their life, but they are still able to succeed and thrive, and both take absolutely no crap from anyone else.

27. Who would sing their child to sleep?

One of the points of contention is that Ryan is interested in having children, but Jeremy doesn’t. In accordance with laws at that time, they wouldn’t be able to co-parent a child, so they decided to hold off on waiting for a child. Also, they tend to energize each other before they go to sleep, so sleeping is not really on the menu. However, Jeremy produces his own music and therefore has the much better singing voice.

28. What do they do when they are away from each other?

Since internet wasn’t widely available, and handheld phones were still quite expensive due to the lack of landlines, they often weren’t able to contact each other while they were away (Ryan is the in-house mechanical engineer at the firm where Jeremy works, so he hardly moves; on the other hand, Jeremy sometimes travels to other nearby areas to talk to investors.) As such, they often simply take note of anything that happens while the other is away and just fill each other in once they reunite.

29. One headcanon about your OTP that breaks your heart.

To absolutely toot my own horn - my own? At least prior to getting with each other, the hate, loathing and just general anger that transpired between the 2 as result of their own beliefs, and both getting hurt as a result of it.

30. One headcanon about your OTP that mends it.

Futureboy (PokeRowan)’s take on Jeremwood in Romance Awareness Month. In this version, the roles are kind of reversed, with Ryan taking on the majority of the self-doubt and personal struggle, with Jeremy more than going out of his way to make Ryan realise that he’s awesome. Really, what any partner should do for each other.

31. Who spends all their money on the other/Who likes to buy the other little gifts?

They are both fairly frugal since growing up, they didn’t have large amounts of money, Ryan more so, so they aren’t prone to wild/unnecessary spending regardless and save up and with Jeremy’s expertise, do a bit of investing. The only gift they need is each other’s company.

32. Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

Usually, when they’re just sitting on the couch watching some TV, Jeremy is usually the one to fall asleep first, so Ryan will just let Jeremy lay on his lap, before falling asleep himself. On occasion, Jeremy will just come home and crash on the couch; Ryan will then drape blankets over him and stuff a pillow underneath his head, picking up the briefcase he had dropped to the floor.

33. Who walks around the house half-naked?

Ryan doesn’t have enough shame, nor pay enough attention, to occasionally put on a shirt, so sometimes he’ll even leave the house without one; it’s not that he’s necessarily an exhibitionist, he’s just sort of forgetful, and is comfortable enough in his own skin to not mind.

34. Who stays up all night?

Jeremy is used to staying up late at night by his lamp to do stuff like draw and read under the watchful guise of his parents (Ryan would be ‘up late’ to study after work, but he hated it and crashed as soon as he could), so as an adult, Jeremy would often work late into the night working on some agreement or deal, often resulting in Ryan groggily calling him to bed.

35. Who burns all the food?

Neither. Seriously, neither. Both are so practiced that they’ve even progressed to deliberate and methodical charring and torching. How dare you even suggest that.

36. Who reads OTP prompts and identifies with them?

Ryan is much more of the romantic amongst them and if shown them, could probably pick out most of the fan-fictiony tropes, but Jeremy really sees them both as soulmates and can see how their path has followed the ‘enemies to friends’ typical trope. (To be fair, neither really read romance - of any kind. Action, sci-fi, and fantasy all the way.)

37. Who constantly wears the other’s clothes?

Both of them. Constantly. Since they both wear the same size of clothes, and both enjoy wearing graphic T-shirts and jeans, but it’s not as if they really care either way. However, Jeremy also wears a lot of singlets and muscle shirts, which Ryan doesn’t care for.

38. Who spends all-day running errands/who drives the car?

Jeremy is the only one who can drive (Ryan didn’t have the chance to learn as a teen, and hasn’t picked it up since), so it’s usually more convenient to him to drive around picking up dry-cleaning, groceries, etc. Since Ryan is in charge of the cooking, he provides the list of what needs to be bought and occasionally tags along on the big grocery moving weekends. In terms of navigation, Jeremy has lived in the area for long enough that he doesn’t need anyone to guide them.

39. Who poses and who draws?

Back when they were still pining each other, Jeremy was already secretly drawing Ryan for memory, so it’s not a huge surprise that he occasionally draws Ryan even now. (Sometimes with clothes, and sometimes without. xD) Besides, Ryan used to model during university, so he’s already used to it.

40. When robbing a museum, who backflips through lasers and who strolls on by?

Jeremy used to do gymnastics as a teenager, and he likes the danger, so he’ll easily backflip his way through all the traps. On the other hand, Ryan may seem very relaxed as he passes by, but he will not hesitate to defend himself as necessary.

41. Who overdoses it on the alcohol?/Which one gives the other one a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

Jeremy has no control over his alcohol consumption, so he’ll get completely inebriated even before Ryan can stop him; at that point, Ryan has to try and drag him home and into bed ASAP before he does anything to injure himself (which he ABSOLUTELY will - and usually ends up harming Ryan instead). Since Jeremy will often get particularly clingy when drunk, Ryan often ends up piggybacking them into a cab, and then home. Ryan can still get a little tipsy, but he’s a lot calmer and rational when he is, and definitely a lot more sure-footed.

42. Who keeps using the other’s last name?

At the time, marriage wasn’t even remotely on their minds, so any notions of taking each other’s names were nowhere. Besides, they are both strong and independent so they are unlikely to take each other’s name regardless.

43. Who screams about the spider, and who brings it outside?

Irrational fears? Please. They just tend to ignore the spider, or any other annoying pest or arthropod, unless it starts to get on them, in which case they just squish with anything nearby, or if need be, their bare hands.

44. Which one gives the other their jacket?

The main issue is that their leather jacket and sweaters and hoodies and so forth just vary in size so much, so Ryan can’t fit in Jeremy’s, and Jeremy is rather enveloped by Ryan’s. In the end, it’s just kind of easier to just remind each other to bring their own jackets.

45. Who keeps getting threatened by the overprotective sibling?

In my canon, neither Jeremy nor Ryan have any siblings, however, considering how Jeremy treated Ryan previously, his friends Victoria and Maisie who knew Jeremy previously keep warning Ryan about him and continuously try to dissuade Ryan away. Eventually caving into his stubbornness, Victoria then proceeded to bore into Jeremy with the ‘if you hurt my friend’ monologue, which he was only mildly intimidated by.

46. Who’s the first one to admit feelings?

(Side note: I acknowledge that most other authors have decided to portray Ryan as the emotionally constipated one, however…) In this situation, since he had people around him with which to act as a sounding board off of, Ryan came to terms with his feelings much more quickly than Jeremy did, so when he went to Jeremy to admit it before Jeremy himself was comfortable with it, it resulted in some…panic. It may have taken a while for them to finally reconcile after the initial shock, but they did. Eventually.

47. How would your OTP be at parenting?

They are incredibly vigilant, organized and driven people who are used to surviving on very few hours of sleep. They can also cook a wide variety of meals very quickly, already have all the Disney movies, and generally, set a pretty good example for behavior. As such, they would excellent parents which they realise as they babysit their friends’ children, and are both seriously considering having kids.

48. Who types with perfect grammar and who uses LEET speak?

Handwritten notes are always the way to go, be it inside brown paper lunch bags, stuck on the fridge, or nestled inside each other’s notes. Although to be perfectly fair, the notes are typically so scribbled that it can be difficult to tell what is being said.

49. Who is bullied and who protects them?

They are way too headstrong and proud to let anyone else push them around. Don’t be ridiculous.

50. Who makes the bad puns and who begrudgingly laughs at them?

Jeremy will generally behave more ridiculously, causing Ryan to just roll his eyes at him; however, Ryan is a bit of an old soul, and often says jokes that he thinks are funny, but really aren’t. They really aren’t.

51. Who comes home to see the other has bought a puppy?/Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

Neither of them has any particular irrational fears, although Jeremy still occasionally gets nightmares. Also, puppies? They are both huge fans of cats, and frequently adopt cats from the pet shelter now that they can, against their better judgment.

52. Who does the over-zealous cheering for the other?

In terms of overzealousness, Jeremy is definitely more passionate, shouting and hooting after each of Ryan’s monologues and scenes, and particularly during the intermission. He will also absolutely pounce on Ryan during the cast parties. And while Ryan’s support tends to be more quiet speculation, silent thumbs up and hugs, he’s still always there to support Jeremy in his football matches (American) and karate tournaments.

53. Who takes a selfie while the other is sleeping?

Unlike most people who have smartphones and social media (they both use reliable old flip-phones - they can call and that’s all they need to do), they don’t potentially embarrassing photos of each other. All their photos are done by Jeremy (so there’s an unfortunate imbalance, but they don’t care) due to his love for amateur photography, or by a professional, and generally just picture the two of them enjoying each other’s company.

54. Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

Ryan can still wear make-up quite effectively from his theatre (and drag queen ^-^) days back in his youth, but Jeremy is way too proud to allow him to do that. War paint is fine.

55. Who would hold the umbrella while it rains?

Ryan is substantially taller than Jeremy so he’d definitely do it. On the other hand, they often just eschew the umbrella and run for the nearest shelter because A. Who cares about a little bit of water and B. It’s a lot more fun to just chase each other through the rain and getting absolutely soaked as they do so.

56. Where would they go and what would they do on their ideal vacation?

Jeremy really enjoys travelling, and has been to various cities in the U.S. and neighbouring Canada, and hasn’t yet managed to travel outside North America, and so would love to. On the other hand, having had his first sushi and instant ramen, Ryan is adamant about going to Japan at some point in his life just to eat as much food as he can (whilst looking at other assorted adorable things, of course), and Jeremy’s just happy to tag along.

And of course, if anyone has any more questions about my interpretation of Jeremwood (that are non-spoilers, of course :P), feel free to leave any in my inbox. ^-^

#jeremwood #stormguard's prompt fills

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scullyy · 5 years

Text

Days With You / Chapter Three

Title: Days With You Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three

Pairing: Clementine x Louis

Word Count: 1981

Summary: Louis and Clementine try and enjoy their first official date at the movies, a familiar face manages to make things a tad awkward.

A/N: Yay it’s finally out yeyeyeeye enjoy :)

Louis rolled on his heels as he glanced at the confectionary stand. To get popcorn or M&M’s, that is the question philosophers ponder over. “Do you want any snacks?”

Clementine quickly shook her head. “No thanks, I don't have a big sweet tooth.”

“That’s ironic, given how sweet you are. Ba dum tsh!” He banged an invisible drum, his fingers playing the role of the drumsticks.

Clementine rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's quip. Her boyfriend. “I brought my own snacks,” She gently shook her black bag. “I’m warning you now, I did bring some cantaloupe.”

Louis dramatically pushed her away. “How can this be? I've fallen for someone who actually enjoys cantaloupe?” He buried his face in the collar of his coat, concealing fake tears.

Clementine refused to give him the attention that he so craved from her, turning her eyes back to the screen planted on the wall, the movie times glowing green. “So we're seeing Deadpool 2, right?”

“It’s only the greatest cinematic masterpiece of the decade, right after the first one of course. I’ve already seen it twice,” Louis held his head high, even if Clementine didn’t understand the magnitude of how amazing this movie truly was. “You’ll love it.”

Putting all her eggs into one Louis basket probably wasn’t a good idea, but he seemed so giddy about this damn movie, maybe it was worth it. “If you say so, I haven’t watched a superhero movie-”

“-Deadpool isn’t a superhero-”

She glared up at him, not really caring for the details of a (non)superhero who was foreign to her. “-for a while now. I prefer a good mystery movie, something that makes me think.” Zodiac, Evil Under the Sun and Along Came A Spider were some of her favourites.

“My favourite mystery movie is Who Framed Roger Rabbit.” Louis gave her an innocent thumbs up, trying to turn her deadpan expression into one of glee, maybe even infatuation? The sign of a spark?

Louis got his spark. A spark between the two which ignited an argument about who was paying for the tickets. It was a first date rule! At least that’s what Louis thought, Marlon told him to do it!. Clementine got her way in the end - as always - and paid for their tickets, leaving Louis to grab his own snacks.

“Sorry for trying to be a gentleman,” Louis mumbled between mouthfuls of buttery popcorn. “You have won this round m’lady.”

“Don’t eat it all at once, we’re not even in the theatre yet.”

Their cinema was almost empty, beside a group of young girls in the front row, giggling over something light-hearted. Louis oh-so-conveniently asked for seats in the back, and like the so-called gentleman he is, his arm was already around her shoulder the second they sat down. No fake yawn or anything.

Clementine’s sharp eyebrow raised itself, having been her friend for a long time Louis knew exactly what she was saying. “I’ve been crushing on you for centuries now, I finally have my chance,” He tilted his head to the side, reminding Clem of a little puppy. An adorable one at that. “To be affectionate.” Louis gave a quick peck to her cheek, finding a sense of pride in how she immediately went red.

Clementine hid her face in her sleeves as she leaned onto his shoulder, taking in a small whiff of his cologne. The kind he only wore on special occasions, also the kind she bought for his birthday a year ago. Not that she noticed or anything...

He pulled out a small packet of candy hearts from one of his secret pockets inside his coat, offering one to Clem. “I know they’re cheesy, but last I checked we’re not lactose-intolerant.”

“That was such a bad joke.”

“Not even.”

Clementine grabbed a pastel pink candy heart, laughing at the unique message. “You can die first.”

“Well damn,” Louis’s shoulders fell as he stared at the wall. “So much for a cute moment.”

She threw it into her mouth, her tongue tingling at the fizz. It was an immediate bad decision. “I really don’t like sweets,” Clementine dragged her teeth over her tongue to remove the lingering tang. “Try another one.”

Louis popped another candy onto his palm. “Kiss me,” His eyes lit up immediately. His head was inching closer to Clementine, that wide smile was very, very alluring. “May I?” With a playful glimmer in her eyes, Clementine shrugged. “Pretty please?” Louis continued his conquest until he got his kiss...on the cheek.

“There, now you have nothing to complain about.” She giggled at how quickly the light within his eyes faded like a candle in the wind.

“You...you absolute devil,” He mocked, biting his lip slowly. “Thank you for the kiss, Clementine.”

“You’re welcome Be-lou-ga.”

“For fuck's sake-”

“-I’m never dropping that nickname,” Clementine bit her tongue to hold back her roaring laugh. She reached into her bag and scrounged up a small blue container. “There is cantaloupe in here, you cool with me eating it?”

Louis stared at the box as if it would jump out of her hands and eat his face off. “I came here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

Clementine unlocked the box and threw a small piece of cantaloupe in her mouth, now this was her ideal snack. She quickly jumped in her seat as the large screen sprung to life with advertisement after advertisement playing before them.

“Let’s go buy a car. That nice man is making a good point.” Louis pointed to the young scrappy man on screen, his smile glowing like the red car beside him. Apparently, this car was somehow different from the other cars being displayed in similar advertisements.

“Louis, I already have a car.” Clementine’s truck was stable, it had been with her for years. Lee bought it for her when she went off to university.

“Another one can’t hurt right?”

“No, it actually will hurt me and my bank account.”

Louis quickly brushed her off, she was such a sceptic. “You gotta believe Clemster. Tell you what, for your birthday I’ll buy you that car.”

“Wait no, no-”

“The movie’s starting!”

Clementine never got her chance to change Louis’s mind, his eyes were glued to the screen ahead as the film began to roll. She buried herself into his shoulder, preparing herself for the non-superhero movie ahead.

“So what’s your final verdict?” Louis still had his arm draped over Clementine’s shoulders, holding her close to him. The man couldn’t help it, her jacket was so fluffy and warm.

She hummed it over, weighing the pros and cons. “It was a good time, no alcohol required.”

Louis couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “That’s it? Just a good time,” He spat. “We were watching the same movie right?”

“It was fun, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t have the same attachment to superheroes that you do.” She reached into the box of popcorn and threw one into her mouth, surprised at how she enjoyed the salty taste.

“-Clementine?”

Louis and Clem both lifted their heads to the sound, she looked past his shoulder and her eyes widened. Louis couldn’t tell if it was shock, fear or both. “Oh my god,” She quickly laughed to break the tension that was already developing. “Gabe?”

The pipsqueak scratched his signature orange beanie, his eyes scanning the crumbs on the floor. “H-hi Clem.”

Clementine noticed Louis’s - she wanted to say concerned - expression. “Gabe and I went to Richmond High together, before I changed to Ericson. This is Louis-”

“-Her boyfriend,” Louis chimed in with a wide grin. “Nice to meet you.”

Oh if only he had his phone out to capture the look on Gabe’s face. Poor kid looked like he had been slapped in the face with a fish.

“How’s Mariana?” Clem cut the tension growing between the two boys. It was about to turn into a battle of testosterone. “Is she still taking those singing lessons?”

“Yeah she still does, she complains about her teacher all the time though,” Gabe chuckled. “What about you? Still playing baseball?”

“Yeah, I am. I have a game coming up in a couple weeks actually, tell Javi I’ve been practising,” He somehow hadn’t changed a bit, it was a little concerning. “I haven’t seen you at any of our games in a while.”

Gabe felt exposed, there was a reason why he stopped going, that reason was standing by beside her. “I just found something else to do, I guess.”

“You guess?” Gabe was never that good at lying and Clementine could tell, his cheeks had grown a pink tinge. “Well, we have a game coming up in a couple weeks. I’m sure Javi would like to see you there.”

“Javi hasn’t been talking to me as much lately since I’ve joined the army.”

Clementine almost dropped her phone. “You actually went and did it?” Gabe would spend countless lunchtimes talking about how he was going to be like his dad, be “like a man”. It usually ended with Ava telling him to shut the fuck up.

Gabe straightened his shoulders, no matter how much he tried to add some inches to his height, Louis still towered over him. “I’m excited, I feel like I’ll actually be able to do something, to prove myself.”

The urge to roll her eyes was growing stronger. “Yikes,” Clem whispered.

Louis could sense she was growing tired of this boy, she wasn’t the only one. He glanced down at his wrist, pretending to look shocked.

“Well would you look at the time. We best skedaddle Clemster!” There wasn’t even a watch on his wrist.

Gabe pressed his back against the wall, giving up on his power stance. “Right, it was nice to see you, Clem.”

“You too Gabe. I’ll catch you later,” Clementine gave him a single wave and quickly backed out of the conversation. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful to you for anything.” She gave a loud sigh of relief as soon as they stepped outside.

“He seems…”

“Boring? Yeah, he always has been.” She grabbed her car keys from the bottom of her bag, trying to remember where she had parked.

Louis pointed the car out for her, his position as the tall boyfriend made it easy to see over the cars. “I was going to say interesting, but if you want to be blunt,” Together they marched over to the deep brown truck, Louis still called shotgun even though there was no one to compete with. “He also doesn’t seem like a very subtle person.”

Clementine slammed her door shut, contemplating what Louis had just said. “What do you mean?”

“Seriously? The guy obviously had a crush on you, I’d argue it’s still there.”

“He does not! We were just friends.” Her and Gabe? Not in a million years. Sure when they first met he was sweet, someone who seemed to understand her struggles. But he was never able to abandon the dark cloud that always hung over his head.

“He never made serious eye contact with you? Never tried to find some excuse to be alone with you, or innocently touch you-”

“Oh fuck…”

Clementine slid her clammy hand through her tight curls, her heart sinking into her chest as Louis laughed at her long-awaited realisation. How could she have been so clueless?

“That’s adorable,” He wiped a tear from his eye. “This poor man was pining after you and you had no idea. I almost feel sorry for him.” Almost.

She wanted to punch so many things right now; Gabe, Louis and herself. “Shut up! I will leave you on the side of the road.”

“I’m sorry my darling. You have to admit though, it’s kinda funny?” Louis managed to wiggle a meek smirk out of her, her shimmering eyes burning into his own.

“Okay, it is a little funny.”

“Atta girl! Always look on the bright side Clem.”

#twdg #the walking dead game #twdg s4 #clementine twdg #the walking dead game season four #twdg louis #louisentine #clouis #fanfiction #xscullyx

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kinitstuffblr · 5 years

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WHO WANTS TO ANALYZE CRAZY DREAMS?!!

Aight bros this dream I had last night was INSANE basically because it made a lot of sense in a lot of different weird ways and I personally love hearing people’s dreams and helping interpret them SO I hope all FOURTEEN of you maybe-real-people will consider sharing YOUR dreams with me via asks/messages/comments/whatever (if you want other people to weigh in then go for it in the comments otherwise I don’t mind if it’s just one-on-one I really just want to discuss dreams). To get the ball rolling I’ll describe my dream and my analysis of it (But feel free to just skip reading that part and go straight to yours if you want! I’m half typing this out just to keep a record for myself)

SO my dreams lately have involved being lost, usually in cities, where I’m vaguely aware of where I should be and am trying to find my way toward that. AND lately my dreams have distinct beginnings and ends and relative themes throughout, which is not how they used to be. I’m going to break this one down into separate numbered sections to kind of establish the timeline and to highlight the key parts.

Part 1: I was in an empty mall; mostly empty, with the stores all dark, but not closed. Think small town, mid-day, but technically open so one or two stores are still available for shopping. I was just sort of wandering through with no real goal, like a lazy tourist, and I knew I was in my local Big City.

Usually I go to this Big City and sort of do a lazy tourist thing a lot when I’m getting ready to attend a con, which I am currently irl preparing for, so it made sense to me that I was in the area wandering around.

Part 2: I saw a theatre attached to the mall, where there was basically just a big entrance that opens up and there it is - but it was a stage theatre, not a movie theater. I could see the stage and all the seating just past the ticket counter. Next thing I know, I see several drag queens in powdered wigs and costumes filing out of a nearby door, which I guessed led to a green room. At the end of the line was a close friend of mine, the only anatomical female of the group, dressed as Marie Antoinette, and she was surprised to see me and invited me to come watch the show (which, of course, I eagerly agreed to).

First of all, she would SO take that role and she would SO be part of a drag show if the opportunity presented itself, so all that made lots of sense to me. I also adore this friend, and don’t hear from her much, so I’ll take every opportunity to be around her if invited. The problem is this doesn’t happen often, and I get stuck feeling like me reaching out to hang out with her will come off as needy, but also that maybe she would prefer I reach out more and is disappointed that I haven’t. Also, I think the last time we hung out for real was the time I’d elected to let her know about a year-long unrequited crush I’d had on her, so in the interest of never making her feel awkward again, I feel like I can never be the one to initiate a hangout, even though we’d had an open conversation that went very well considering the circumstances. Oh - at this point I was also aware that I didn’t have my hair styled, makeup on, or an especially good outfit - I looked frumpy, which I felt she noticed. (She’s gorgeous, not in a fake way, legitimately she always looks great but she also does fucking bomb makeup whereas I feel like I’ve never fully learned it/understood it.)

Part 3: At the drag show, I realize it’s a dress rehearsal. No biggie. I head to the bathroom, where a lot of the queens are now actually getting ready, some in the bathroom and some out in the hall. I’m nonbinary, but I only recently learned what that even is and started embracing it; in the moment, I can’t decide if I should go into the female bathroom or the male bathroom. I really don’t want to be in their way while they’re getting ready and though my instinct is to go into the bathroom opposite my assigned sex in an act to embrace my newer self, I immediately think of how non-nonbinary (not-androgynous) I look, and shamefully head into my assigned sex’s bathroom.

This is no mystery, I still constantly feel like even a group for ‘people who don’t fit into the other groups’ is still too exclusive for me to fit into it; Like I’m posing, and I should just be quiet and stick to my assigned sex, and nonbinary isn’t what I am because I’m not nonbinary enough?? It’s hard to explain but I feel like you get it even if I can’t put it into words well. I felt like an asshole trying to go into the opposite sex’s bathroom, but I felt like a coward ducking my head and going into ‘my’ bathroom.

Part 4: In the bathroom, it didn’t matter what I’d chosen because the drag queens were getting ready in both (which I should have seen coming?) While in there I was of course half afraid I’d be seen through various gaps in the walls and did notice someone getting high out of a CVS bag in a stall.

This is basic bathroom-related anxiety I face in dreams a lot, although the drug thing is new and I think related to how often junkies are getting high on the steps literally outside my front door every night when I’m trying to go to bed. In the moment I felt like I should let someone know but I didn’t because I’m not street smart and somehow that implies that street smart people don’t need me getting into their business?? Idk

Part 5: I found a former theatre club classmate to sit with to watch the rehearsal. I don’t remember the show at all but I remember that I was supposedly there for the whole thing and didn’t get to see or talk to my friend at all, so I ended up wandering out without saying goodbye.

Typical again - At social events with this friend, I feel like the norm has been that I don’t actually get to spend much time with her and that it’s not really noticed if I leave

Part 6: My cat was with me?? My cat, an FIV positive soft boi who I love with everything in me, was for some reason with me on this trip and I’ve just realized I’ve lost him in this mall. He doesn’t wear a collar and is easily spooked. Somehow I see him in an open area and swoop him up into my arms and tight against my chest; now I just have to not let him wrestle free while I find my way back to the car.

Again SO normal, but in a new, FUN terrible way! Combining my fear of losing my sick cat outside and not being able to find my car in a big city during an important situation. Both are repeat anxiety nightmares, but I’ve never had it structured like this before.

Part 7: I don’t remember where the car is or how far; I only have a vague idea; I also know there’s no way when I get there I’ll be able to open the door without losing him but right now I’m just focused on finding the car. Suddenly there’s a few people here and there in the mall and I’m really worried that someone will approach me to touch my cat or to offer help and only end up spooking him. A kid walks up to me and he has a gameboy open in his hands; I know he just wants to touch my cat but I explain I need to get him to my car and he offers to help, which mostly is just him following me while half-playing his pokemon game and half looking at my cat.

The boy is the same age/slightly younger than my youngest brother and looks exactly like him and acts exactly like him, he just isn’t him somehow - and he’s legitimately sort-of-trying-to-help in his own kid way. I appreciate the moral support. But I’m confused what this represents in my dream?? Me and my youngest bro used to be very close, but I was a little distant with him after I moved out and lately now that he’s in high school I feel like he doesn’t want my attention as much as he used to and also doesn’t want to spend time together.

Part 8: At one point I’m squeezing my cat so tight to my chest he’s gone limp and isn’t breathing - but I loosen up and check and he’s fine after just a second, although he’s irritated and a little squirmy. Somehow this boy with us has now gotten me to finding my car at the top of an open parking garage and I haven’t dropped the cat the whole way. I open the door and start putting my stuff on the seat (I had a purse this whole time). In the front seat, there’s actually already a cat. My cat?? I say out loud, ‘oh, I didn’t actually bring him in - there’s an unopened one right here!’. Because the cat in the car, my cat, has a San Pelligrino soda foil cap on its head. Also, I realize I dropped my cat - you know, the one I’d carried back? But no, there he is, and I pick him up and put him in the back seat. He’s also my cat. And somehow I’m still more worried about his well-being, even though supposedly, the cat in the front seat with the foil hat is mine.

The squeezing thing is a memory of the other night irl when I realized my cat was so deep asleep he felt like he’d stopped breathing and when I moved him to wake him he was completely limp and still; he’s fine now and was confused and irate at me for waking him before. But the two cats thing was throwing me off really hard; All I knew was that a family friend literally just put down her cat yesterday and that I’d seen pictures of her baby girl, and this girl cat looked exactly like my boy cat and was roughly the same age and had an illness. But I was certain that both of these dream cats were my boy, although weirdly I was more loyal to the one I’d been carrying.

My husband actually helped me figure out this crazy shit in a way that blew my mind (because foil hat was reaaally confusing me.) He asked what I usually do with San Pelligrino sodas, and got me to admit that usually, I don’t finish them. (I don’t always finish most drinks actually.) But it really sucks when I leave a San Pelli unfinished, because they’re expensive and they’re one of my favorites, so wasting it is a bigger deal than wasting other drinks, and I feel regretful because I didn’t get to appreciate them all the way to their end and guilty because I didn’t do all that I could to make sure they weren’t wasted. He said the cat in the front seat is a healthy cat - an ‘unopened’ one that I haven’t put in danger and that doesn’t have any predetermined threats to its well-being because it’s ‘new’. I wish desperately that I didn’t have to be constantly afraid of losing my FIV boy to an illness, but at the same time I would never want to replace him with a healthy cat even if they were exactly the same - his weakness has made me not only glad I have him in my own care, where I know I’d give anything in my power to keep him healthy and happy - it’s made me and my husband open to the idea of seeking out needy pets in the future that might not otherwise have chances with families. (We also know that we have to be ready for the worst; if a vet tells us our boy isn’t going to be happy or isn’t going to feel healthy, we need to be ready to let go and voluntarily put him down when his quality of life diminishes.) Basically, having the opportunity of the healthy-safe-front-seat-fresh-cat didn’t make me forget or discard the one I’d carried back with me, and I think that’s my brain reaffirming I don’t regret my boi and will protect him with everything I have until I literally can’t anymore.

That was the end of my dream - putting the rescued cat in the back seat safely while acknowledging the other cat. And I woke up with my cat snuggling me, of course. I’ve had a lot of these weirdly detailed dreams lately and I love writing them out. Watchyal got? Anyone??

#dreams #I once dreamt #dream meanings #dream analysis #dream discussion #share your literal dreams!

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hcpefulmarshmallow · 6 years

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Some Canon Stuff & Observations About Komaeda From Island Mode

--Because I have this list, and now you do too.

General:

Once he’s decided to spend time with somebody, he’s not very picky about what they do together. That said, he seems to prefer activities that can keep him engaged with that person, as opposed to singular activities, even ones he usually enjoys, like reading. He’s also not quite as fond of movies and the like, again because you’re engaging with something else and not each other.

Whenever he talks about something being dangerous, he’s considerably more concerned about anyone else who may be hurt as a result over himself. This is probably due to his bad luck targeting his loved ones before it targets him. Plus, you know, he’s a good boy. He cares.

He kind of jokes around a lot in a non life-and-death situation. At least, with Hajime. It’s heartwarming. I love his playful side.

He seems to struggle with eating around other people. This may be due to a lack of appetite as is a symptom of his illness, but he could also be self conscious, or nervous about his luck interfering somehow. He does talk about the many dangers of various foods throughout his island mode time.

A lot of the fear he expresses tends to be very...specific. He’s not afraid of the thing, he’s afraid of this, this and this that could result from the thing going horribly wrong in the most zany of ways.

He won’t waste the term “good luck” on silly, insignificant things. Since it offsets all the bad in his life, presumably he wants it to be special.

He doesn’t like unfulfilling conclusions. They’re wishy-washy, and leave him uncertain about what’s to come. This makes a lot of sense - the only consistency in his life is that good luck will follow bad, and vice versa. If he can’t tell which is which, he’ll just be blindsided.

He is capable of recognising hope in himself, and what it takes to find that is one-on-one human interaction, and feeling like someone actually wants to be with him. Of course, this isn’t only a good thing. The downside is that, if there’s hope within him, then erasing himself means erasing his hope. It makes his own life precious, too. (I’m not crying, you are.)

Park:

He’s more comfortable in open areas, since it’s easier to spot potential hazards.

He gets sick of the same scenery day in, day out pretty quickly.

He seems to believe in hell. Or at least, entertain the notion. Oh, dear.

Despite calling zombies and ghosts “unrealistic” (re: move theatre) he does appear to believe in curses, and some form of magic to some degree. The line there isn’t really explored.

For all his talk about how he wants something to happen, he acts pretty darn happy with the relaxing environment the island provides. He even says he wishes it could last forever.

He kind of likes the statue in Jabberwock Park that exists when they arrive.

Beach:

Just like everything else in life, ocean = danger.

He likes fishing, mostly because it’s not very dangerous and there’s still potential for something amazing to happen.

He really does not like running.

He kind of wishes he could have darker skin.

His skin is very sensitive and he doesn’t enjoy direct sunlight.

He likes building sandcastles.

He remarks that the game Capture The Flag “takes me back”. Perhaps he used to play as a kid?

Library:

Everywhere else, if you make noises about not enjoying yourself or wanting to leave, Ko agrees that you can, though usually reluctantly. In the library, however, he just suggests you go your separate ways. Nobody separates the boy from his books, I guess.

As mentioned way above, he prefers activities with people that keep them both engaged. However, in the library, apparently that too goes out the window because he has all the self control of a kid in a candy store around those books.

“There’s nothing better than having too many books,” apparently.

Even Ko didn’t think they’d need to survive badly enough that they’d have to burn the books. He’s thought of curses and divine intervention, but burning down a library is too horrifying, I guess.

When he stays put and reads, he isn’t affected by his luck so much, making it the most peaceful way to pass time.

Being in a quiet place with someone he likes makes him nervous.

Studying isn’t his favourite thing to do, but he’ll enjoy it more with a studdy buddy. (That’s actually adorable, thanks, I hate it.)

During hide and seek, nobody ever finds him until the very end, which actually makes him depressed.

D o n ‘ t i n s u l t t h e l i b r a r y a r o u n d t h e b o y .

Movie Theater:

He doesn’t like eating during movies. He finds it distracting, and would rather focus on the screen.

He likes the idea of filming memories and watching them back later. He even states that he’d like to have some of the security footage as a souvenir.

He likes the front row for immersion, but gets sore easily while watching movies. In particular, he tends to strain his back and neck.

He canonically falls asleep during boring movies. I can’t even with this guy.

As much as he likes feeling relaxed, situations that are relaxing make him nervous. Presumably because he’s waiting for something bad to strike.

Types of movies he does not like: realistic horror, “panicky” movies, anything that reflects his own life and experiences.

Types of movies he does like: mysteries of course, unrealistic horror and movies with themes he’ll almost certainly never have to deal with firsthand.

Amusement Park:

The carousel is his favourite ride, because it’s relaxing and not dangerous.

“This is Nezumi Castle after all, so we need to ride the mouse first!” - Yep, he’s That Guy.

Unsurprisingly, rollercoasters are a strong contender for least favourite.

Sometimes he laughs when he’s surprised though it doesn’t mean he’s having fun, and he’s aware of it enough to acknowledge it.

He doesn’t like haunted houses and presumably other things designed solely to scare. He admits to feeling fear in his daily life, so why would he then go seek out more, I suppose.

He has been to an amusement park only once with his parents, but he’s always been keen to go back. He’s very much more like an excited little kid in this location, so this is probably a big thing for him. Perhaps he wants to revisit one of the few good memories he has as a child.

He gets very upset if you suggest leaving. He’s like a kicked puppy. Haji, don’t be mean.

Military Base:

Unsurprisingly, he is a ball of STRESS here. Throughout all three possible sets of dialogue - so 9 potential options - he has only one Best Option in the military base, and even that leads to him pulling a typical Nagito, and getting worried over some very specific possibilities.

Still, he does kind of want to explore - but even upon admitting that, will concede that you’re basically asking for trouble by sticking around the base.

He considers the warship the least dangerous thing to ride. However, he still worries about it, and is very specifically afraid of being stuck in the ship’s cabin with no way out. Actually the “no way out” theme is a recurring thing for him, come to think of it. And he does admit to preferring open spaces. I wonder if there’s a little claustrophobia in him?

DON’T TAKE HIM NEAR THE FIGHTER JET. A lot of fans have speculated about his fear of flying, but personally I take it as canon. And it’s no wonder, really, when you look at his life.

When asked if he wants to look for fuel, definitely more safe than tanks or warships, he is more concerned it might catch fire than anything. Fire is a common danger, and he’s probably faced it many, many times.

He doesn’t like the idea of actively looking for weapons. It seems even Nagito’s above the outright stupidity of mixing his luck with things that are designed to be dangerous - you-know-what notwithstanding, of course. That was a special circumstance.

Shot Through The Heart:

When spending time with another person, he positively agonizes over what to say to them, to make their time with him more enjoyable.

He mentions that he wouldn’t even mind if Hajime verbally abused him, probably as long as he was having fun doing it.

He seems relieved when Hajime tries to take that pressure off him. He really does like the idea of being able to be quiet for a while and not feeling like he has to constantly contribute.

He takes being insulted to his face well, and shuts right up, for the most part. Even so, let’s not.

#(i need a real meta tag)#long post/#ʀᴇᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴅ [headcanons]

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