Fic Rec Friday

This week's theme: Rec a fic that starts with the same letter as your username (or, if you like, a part of your username) -

The rules: Tag a fic that starts with the same letter as your username and describe why it's so good / how it has a hold on you. Then tag some people to see what everyone else is reading. Thanks for the tag @welcometololaland​ !!

It’s Saturday… but like not really. Still friday!!

White by @chaotictarlos​ and @paperstorm​

First and foremost, hot.

Second of all, I really loved the overall series and literally re read all of it for the nth time before posting this bc I couldn’t help myself. No self control whatsoever from my part I know, but when you’re called onto something just do it. I love LOVE the dialogue, can’t stress this enough, it’s the thing that keeps drawing me back. The back and forth between TK and Carlos? Just them bickering or being smug? Sassy TK vs mr know it all/witty Carlos? That’s literally them irl and I like seeing their essence from the show in fics, I feel like that’s hard to portray and y’all do this so perfectly. I literally want to boot you guys to LA so you could be writers of the show now.

Give us all the smut, we’re done playing it save, even Ro and Rafa said so that one time. Give us that shower scene 😂 !

A great read and instalment for the best series!

Now…for my art blog: @asktarlos

It has to be: And This Is Romance, Let’s dance by @rmd-writes

Such a fun and sexy read! A must read.

I also must inform you that I felt attacked when reading this bc I’m latine, shit I even grew up in the Caribbean up until I turned 16 and I can’t dance for hell. The way this fic is written makes me feel as if I’m there with them and it’s just an amazing feeling. For real, I felt attacked when TK was, specially when the jabs came from Nancy lol, bc I’ve heard that song before irl. Yeah, I stepped on your shoes, so what? I’ll do it again. Watch😂😭. Unrelated: but I would love for Carlos to teach me salsa, but seems as though his hands are full. You’re one lucky bastard, Tk Strand.

Overall, this is was a fun switch of scenery for me bc I usually identify more with Carlos than with TK in the actual show— just for obvious bg reasons/relatability, but, although not explicitly stated in lonestar, TK can’t dance here and neither can I. That being said, I loved this fic even before reading it, but then again I saw the name of the author before reading and I already knew it be a new favourite of mine.

Tags: I feel like everyone I follow has been tag so if you’re reading seeing this. Hi, it’s your turn :) no pressure ofc.

Recap: Pleasantview Round 5 (Summer)

The romance of Spring certainly went to a few heads in Pleasantview - the suburb is in the midst of quite the baby boom. But now Summer is here, and school is out! Parents are scrambling to sort out childcare, teenagers are reveling in their freedom, and with the sun shining, the mood in the neighbourhood is pretty great.

But are the families as happy as they seem? Or are some on the brink of collapse? What secrets lurk in their hearts?

The round began with newcomers Tiffany Sampson and Kevin Beare getting settled in. They adopted a puppy, got new jobs, and got to know the neighbours.

Then as Tiffany finished her first day of work in the Education career, she learned she was already pregnant!

They had a quick, slightly rushed wedding before the baby arrived.

Baby Harvey was born, but it already looks like she might be expecting again.

The round ended on a happy note, with the couple already nicely established as a family in town with a few friends!

The Dreamer family started out just as well, but things quickly started to deteriorate.

Due to a combination of bad mental health, recurring nightmares and possible haunting, Brandi Broke isn’t in a good place. Her relationship with Darren suffers for it, too.

Meanwhile Cassandra’s marriage with Don is falling apart, and Darren can’t help being sympathetic. Perhaps a little too much so.

Mia Broke, obsessed with the paranormal, gets herself abducted by aliens, much to her mom’s dismay.

She’s also eager to discuss her theories about the spooky sounds in their yard, but Brandi shuts it down.

Mia goes on a date with Benedick Monty, but it’s kind of a mixed bag.

Back home, Mia and Darren eventually talk about the possible hauntings at home. He admits to her seeing Darleen’s ghost, from time to time.

Brandi also opens up to Mia about her father, Skip.

And Mia is vindicated to finally some ghosts herself!

I played the Lotharios next since I was interested in what was going on with Cassandra.

Cassandra and Don’s relationship has had its ups and downs - neither of them has been 100% faithful, but they’re dealing with it. Maybe? Between raising the twins and focusing on their careers there hasn’t been a ton of time for marriage counselling.

Don’s been feeling a bit isolated, recently. Outside of his family and his coworkers, he doesn’t really have a lot of friends. That’s been deliberate, to an extent. The fewer people around him, the fewer temptations to stray outside of the marriage.

For the most part, it’s been working. But a chance meeting with Nina Caliente has him feeling… confused.

The kids are doing fine, the parents not so much.

She’s always in low aspiration, lately, ever since her Dad passed away. It’s been hard getting on her feet since then, and Don going on about needing “me time” doesn’t help. She needs his support right now more than ever! Why doesn’t he get that?

They don’t talk about it, but both of them are feeling very alone, and starting to lose faith in each other...

Meanwhile, the boys age up. Bernado’s a popularity sim and Cassimiro’s knowledge.

Eventually, things in the marriage finally explode and Cassandra tells Don about Darren, trying to get a rise out of him.

Don immediately retaliates by woohooing with Sharon Wirth on a grocery-run.

After a cool-off day, they agree to break things off, and Don moves out.

He moves in, temporarily, with Bella. Who is insistant that he and Cassie try and patch things up!

He’s more interested in exploring new options, though.

Bella is devestated to lose her job as a party guest.

Meanwhile Oliver Goth (Dina and Mortimer’s son) gets his first kiss with Ariel Capp! Later he goes on a date with Tommy Ottomas, too.

At one of Bella’s parties, Cassandra and Don keep things civil, but Cassandra evidently isn’t doing well.

Bella goes on a date with Gilbert Jacquet. It’s not really all that serious between them, and Bella still misses Mortimer dreadfully, but Gilbert is charming and handsome enough to take her mind of her worries.

Things with Bella and Don also seem to be getting a little heavy, and Don concludes he needs to move out before things cross a line. Bella reluctantly agrees, it’s obvious her plan to get him and Cassie back together hasn’t worked

Don moves to Strangetown!

Next up are the Ramaswami family, a nice breath of fresh air after all the drama.

Priya befriends some of the other mothers in town, becoming especially close to Kaylynn.

And baby Ravi gows into maybe the coolest toddler ever?

Sanjay survives a near death experience.

And Priya finds out she’s expecting again!

Divorced once and with the girls having just graduated college, Daniel Pleasant didn’t expect to be engaged again with a kid on the way as he approached retirement age, doing it all over again. He’s far from unhappy about it, though. Mary Sue always had an independent streak, but Kaylynn adores him. Maybe it’s a bit selfish, but it feels so good to be needed.

Kaylynn knows some people in the neighbourhood look down on her, think her naive, call her a homewrecker… that’s fine. If they worked as a cleaner for years and years maybe they’d consider packing it in and settling into an easy life, too. What’s wrong with wanting to be taken care of?

Notably (and much to my horror) during the Pleasant round, Brandi and John start up their affair again.

Kaylynn finally gives birth, to a baby boy they call Jeffery Pleasant, after Daniel’s father. Daniel’s really pleased!

Jennifer’s eager to meet her new nephew. She and Kaylynn get off to a rocky start, but eventually start to bond.

She’s closest friends with Brandi Broke, though. The two have become inseperable, with Brandi visiting all the time.

Daniel invites both of the girls over to meet their little brother, but Angela is the only twin who shows. Whether that’s because they have a better relationship, or because Lilith was just busy is anyone’s guess.

Then it turns out Kaylynn’s pregnant again already?

Kaylynn and Daniel tie the knot!

Nina and Don also reconcile at the wedding.

Kaylynn gives birth to another baby boy, Luke!

And Jeff ages upp!

Daniel ages up, too. It’s finally time for him to retire, soon...

Daniel’s definitely a bit of a dirty old man, but Kaylynn doesn’t seem entirely oblivious to that side of him, and figures as long as she keeps his needs met they should be fine. We’ll see if that holds up.

Then it was time to catch up with the Shoreharts, who moved here form Widespot for a fresh start.

A retired chef, Sandy’s enjoying her retirement a lot more than she ever enjoyed being a stay at home mom. Granted, all this free time has her a little restless, but it’s nothing a bit of time outdoors and excercise can’t fix. She hopes.

They were honestly pretty chill! Rhett’s taken to the whole marriage thing suprisingly well, for a romance sim. Turns out, as long as he’s getting lovin’ on a regular basis he doesn’t really care if it’s with one woman or several. It’s never boring with Sandy, and he intends to keep her as happy as he can for the rest of her days. That’ll show her shit-heel of an ex-husband.

Mostly they just spend a lot of time with family.

Sandy’s very generious with the backrubs, but nothing goes too far.

Mimi is definitely at least a little anxious about her parents’ marriage though, because she spends some of the round reading up on Couple’s Councelling.

Then it’s time for her to age up! She grows into a rather cute romance sim.

Then at the party the house of cards starts to crumble, as Sandy gives her ex-husband Hamilton a kiss, right in front of Mimi and Rocky.

Mimi agrees not to tell her Dad, but isn’t happy. She spends a lot of time out of the house.

With Sandy keeping her indescretion quiet, I’m not sure what they have in store in the future!

Regardless, next are the Ramirez family.

Tessa’s spent a lot of time looking afte rthe baby and she’s sick of it! So she spends some time Downtown with friends.

She later takes Bernardo on a date, although he’s not sure if he likes her as more than a friend. Bernardo likes the idea of falling in love with Tessa, who he’s always admired! But he’s a little hesitant at the same time, especially with his parents’ divorce still being so recent.

Checo has a bit of a wandering eye, but mostly he keeps himself in check.

Checo might be a bit of a flirt, but at least he’s not a hypocrite. When Lisa was dancing with Skye he didn’t even bat an eye. Or maybe he just doesn’t see an old man as much of a threat…

Ugh, God, I forgot this happened

Baby Sofia grew up super cute!

Anyway, that’s all from them!

The Oldies weren’t too eventful, mostly just focused on hobbies!

They did finally meet Mary’Sue’s new partner, which went... poorly.

But they did have a nice meeting with their grandaughter later, and a fun night out!

Then it was the Burbs! John’s recent indescretions with Brandi aside, things seemed to be going well.

At least, until he made out with Coral Oldie :/

Oblivious to thins, Jennifer was starting to trust John again.

They had dinner with Jen’s brother Dan and his new wife...

And Jennifer discovered she was pregnant again!

Lucy headed away for college...

And baby James grew up, leaving the Burb round complete and Pleasantview all done & dusted!

So, mid-season finale [SG 6x07]

They basically made a bottle episode for a mid-season finale. Ambitious..?

Didn't quite work, imo... :| C'mon, people it's the last season! As much as I enjoy myself a nice character-study, sadly, personally, I feel even with Brainy and J’onn unaffected, it stretched itself too thin and missed the mark a bit...

Harry Potter / Dementor reference for the Phantoms was long overdue (sucking souls, bringing up fears, it even gets colder when they are near)

What was the point of the shield-meter protecting them from the outside Phantoms going down drastically into yellow after the 3rd(?) turbulence / the flash / in the beginning of Alex' and Kelly's parts (detail: it didn't go down on the main-screen) when the nightmares came from the Phantom in the containment unit?

...I really liked Lena making (only) Nia part of her vision ^.^ They made a good combo! (Although, the loss of the others was a deep-cut for her fear of losing people she cares about / ending up alone) - Oh, and Lena was the only of the four who figured out it was a vision / nightmare and applied Kelly's advice. Smart cookie. 

Also, Lena facing the water-monster like Ellen Ripley the xenomorph queen; difference being who turned be the mother (I did think it looked like Kara still with her bangs at first, tho...)

Kelly sorta applied her own advice by reminding herself of everything real about Alex and their relationship

So, with the Phantom locked back up, only Kelly and Lena faced their fears. With Lena by actually looking at her fear come to life (and it transforming into the underlying memory of her mother) and Kelly overcoming her passiveness and using a shield and being kick-ass (future female Guardian?). Alex learned a lesson of sorts, still, and went through with the self-sacrifice. Nia mostly self-confirmed her already existing issues of failing in the most horrible ways...

I'm thinking, the picture on the thimble was meant to show the white flash striking the Tower-Ship, and the thimble itself how Dreamer still can't interpret things right ('a desired result not being met' according to online dream-analysis, which sounds much more fitting than Nia's interpretation and failed attempt at sewing with her powers) - that said, sadly no new revelation on that end... Her powers work just fine, and maybe instead of fearing to fail, she should try find ways to learn the skill.

...balloons ARE scary. Don't you want a balloon, Georgie?

Kara had like 4 minutes screen-time in the episode about her return... (Didn’t actually clock it, but sounds about right)

The Tower-Space-Ship is bigger on the inside :) 

The Tower-Ship needs a name. SIDRAT? BigBen? Spotlight? Headliner? Huh, I like headliner... >.>

So, I guess Zor-El was Kara's touch-stone? (Eh, did he do another "until you came along" speech? Supercorp shippers will know what I mean. Now it's awkward...)

Gotta love the detail, that Kara's scratches on her neck are immediately healed after the yellow-sun bomb ^.^

While Kara super-speeding to Alex was awesome, I feel deprived of a group-hug :(

After having spent a larger amount of time in the Phantom Zone (yes, time may “not pass” there, but it’s still duration, since ppl inside are moving; meantime, several days passed on Earth) the promo for 6x08 shows Kara jumps right back to work? ...let’s hope, there are some repercussions. You know, just a tad of realism? Our girl’s been horribly traumatized 20 times and some in her life... She could book out Kelly for life. 

If this episode had happened at any other spot during the season, I would maybe have given it a 6/10. But it being a mid-season finale kinda makes it rather disappointing. I am not even taking into account anything Supercorp, because I 100% did not expect anything on that front to happen anyways. Even with the episode plot being wrapped up nicely, this arc's plot ending felt rushed and like a side-note... no emotional pay-out.

--> And THAT is why I am disappointed with the episode. Not because of shipping. But because, objectively (or at least in my best objectiveness), this episode was not what it should/could have been. Stretched too thin, a misplaced bottle-episode (which are a skill to master), a filler-episode even (a whole different episode-filling plot squeezed in the middle of the rescue-Kara arc - anyplace else can be a good/interesting idea, but is disconnecting at the finale of an arc). Maybe the original script was much better? But, taste differs. I hope, others enjoyed it much more than I did. 

I still love the characters and the actors are doing a great job. And while I have some misgivings on Kara jumping back right in after everything that happened, I do LOVE the show for the fun stuff (uncle Archie?) and Kara supering :) So, after one and a half third season of drama, I can’t help but look forward to what the promo promised! \^o^/

Snow Queen

Part 1? Just some random Hella Soft Blaine and Mc story. I don’t know what I was shooting for but here you go. Maybe a part 2? Idk yet.

F!Blaine x Mc(Kennedy Monroe)

Tag list: @blaine-hayes @samanthadalton @fundamentalromantic @kwaj05 @danna-min-sinclair @mintchocolate-chip @dopeyouth @shows-simp-card @clowneryme @scarlet-letter-a0114 @avanimous @choicesilona @somewillwin @iamsimpforpoppy @robintora @alexlabhont

Some vacation, who would have guessed a private ski lodge for diplomats with body guards and maximum security would have an issue with paparazzi?

Usually they don’t bother or even get near the place unless there is a story, and Kennedy Monroe was the story of the year, that was, if they could catch her.

She spent most of her vacation avoiding the paparazzi by a series of gut wrenching maneuvers on the slopes along with Blaine. It was actually becoming quite fun trying to evade them. It kept the adrenaline pumping for the girls as they tried to outdo one another in their big escapes.

For as much as they skied together and spent time together laughing and hanging out on the slopes, no one had put the two together, something that might unravel itself sooner rather than later.

Blaine and Kennedy started their morning’s off sitting next to each other at breakfast. Blaine always made sure Kennedy finished all her food before hitting the slopes. Besides evading the paparazzi, Blaine helped Kennedy with new moves and tricks on some jumps. Kennedy wasn’t the worlds worst skier, she just wasn’t as polished as Blaine.

But it wasn’t always skiing. The two girls would sneak off the runs and build snowmen and snow angels. One afternoon was so bad with the paparazzi, Blaine pulled Kennedy off the run and built them an igloo to hide in. One of many hidden talents the Ardonian possessed.

Of course the igloo wasn’t the largest of structures, especially the inside. Kennedy nearly had to straddle Blaine’s lap just to fit inside, something neither girl was complaining about.

“I see what you did here Blaine.” Kennedy smirked.

“What? I didn’t do anything.” Blaine replied with her trademark grin. “Just big enough for two.”

The two were quite fond of the igloo, it was their private oasis away from their friends and press on the slopes but would always end up back in Blaine’s room soaking away the aches of the days adventures.

The two started opposite of each other, just barely allowing their feet to rub one another. Then they started sitting side by side so they could hold hands. Then they always ended up with Kennedy sitting with her back to Blaine’s front, with the brunettes legs wrapped around the blonde’s waist.

Kennedy would just relax back into Blaine as she felt the girls grip tighten and the soft brush of her lips caressing the skin behind her ear. Not much was said, but the delicate actions spoke louder than any word either could muster.

One of the last morning’s, Blaine wasn’t at breakfast. Kennedy shot her a quick text before taking her own seat.

Blaine immediately responded with a message telling Kennedy to meet her at the igloo around noon for a surprise. Kennedy couldn’t stop bouncing in anticipation at the possibilities.

A surprise? From Blaine? Kennedy didn’t know whether to be excited or afraid.

Kennedy made it to the top of the ski lift and solo skied down the run and over to the secret igloo that Blaine had made. Finding Blaine tucked away inside with a blanket strung out with a picnic basket.

“Surprise!” Blaine greeted awkwardly, this feeling was all new to her.

“Oh a picnic? How romantic.”

“Yeah yeah I’m a saint. Now dig in, I’ve slaved over this all morning.” Blaine admitted timidly.

“You!? You made all this food? Thanks for the warning.” Kennedy teased pushing the basket away.

“Hey! It’s not that bad! I worked hard on it!”

Kennedy took the basket back and dug in, moaning in surprise on how tasteful the food was. “This is amazing Blaine thank you.”

Blaine smiled due to her small victory. Never in a million years did she ever consider baking anything for anyone, including a special someone. But here she was smiling, watching Kennedy enjoy her handy work.

After the tasteful lunch Kennedy tossed the basket aside, capturing Blaine’s lips with intensity and passion.

“Thank you so much for lunch Blaine, it was perfect.”

“A perfect lunch, for a perfect girl.” Blaine happily replied returning the kiss.

“When did you become so soft!?” Kennedy grinned.

“First day of school when I slammed that limo door shut, I caught a beautiful blonde staring from the sidewalk. I knew then I was toast.”

Kennedy squeezed Blaine’s hand thinking back to that day and how far the two have come, even if it was on the down low.

“But don’t you dare tell anyone Rutherland, my reputation would be destroyed.”

“We will keep it our little secret. And speaking of secrets? Do you think we will ever spill this one?” Kennedy said gesturing between them.

“I hope so, and soon.” Blaine admitted. “I value our time together as us, but I want the world to know you’re mine.”

“I agree. But do you think we are ready to take that on? We have countries to think about, our own people, our families.”

“Hell with them. We are grown women Kennedy, we can make our own decisions for our own reasons.”

“So...you do wish to keep this going?” Kennedy questioned.

“Kennedy we can do anything if we try. It’s just you and me. Our future is what we make it, not what our parents or countries make it.”

“Ok who are you and what did you do with Blaine.” Kennedy teased, lightly nudging Blaine.

“I mean it Rutherland. You mean the world to me. On a night when bad dreams become a screamer, When they're messing with the dreamer, I can laugh it in the face. I can twist and shout my way out, And wrap yourself around me. Because I ain’t the way you found me, And I'll never be the same.”

“D...Did you just quote a Hall & Oates song?” Kennedy thought, mulling over Blaine’s words.

“That’s not important, but what is, is that you changed me for the better Rutherland. You got me bad and I don’t want it to stop. I mean hell, I even cooked you lunch!” Blaine pointed out.

“Yes you did my little chef.” Kennedy said giving Blaine another appreciative Kiss. “Soon the world will know. Soon.”

The two were interrupted by an intense wind gust that started to blow snow into the igloo. Blaine stuck her head out to examine the outside world.

“It’s snowing again. These are big flakes Kennedy, and with this wind, it won’t be long until it’s blizzard conditions.”

“It’s getting colder too.” Kennedy added watching her breath intensify into the air.

“We better get back now before it’s too late.” Blaine spoke hurriedly packing the gear up and slapping her skis on.

The two abandoned their igloo and set off for the lodge. It was a decent run, and the near whiteout conditions had set in quicker than either thought.

“Kennedy!” Blaine yelled over her shoulder. “Stay close! We will cut through the woods up ahead, snow should be lighter.”

“Ok!”

The two approached a small thicket, telling them the woods were close. An odd movement in the thicket caught Blaine’s attention.

“Kennedy! To the left!” She pointed out.

“Paparazzi!” Kennedy yelled back. “Do these guys ever take a day off!”

“I don’t think he see’s us!” Blaine added looking for the guy again. “Where did he go?”

“He was just right out front?” Kennedy said speeding past Blaine unaware of how close she was to the woods. “I don’t see him!?”

“Kennedy! Look out!” Blaine screamed as the man appeared in front of Kennedy with his camera snapping shots of the first daughter.

The close proximity in the blinding snow startled Kennedy and she swerved around the man, hitting a tree head on.

“Kennedy!” Blaine whined out in fear, stopping next to the blonde, checking her over. “You fucking asshole!” Blaine snapped towards the cameraman.

“Oh this is good footage!” The man said recording the entire interaction. “You care to comment why you are so worried about your rival countries first daughter?”

Blaine reared back and slugged the creep. Taking his camera and tossing it against a tree, making sure it was good and broke. “Put that in your article asshole.”

The man staggered over and snagged his sim card before Blaine could and made his escape before Blaine had a chance to kill him.

“Kennedy!? Are you ok?” She asked rushing over when she heard the girl moaning in pain.

Kennedy tried to roll over, crying in immense pain. “Where does it hurt?” Blaine asked.

“My shoulder and neck.” Kennedy weakly got out. “My nose. I...I can’t breathe Blaine!” Kennedy started to freak but Blaine tried to calm her. Blaine noticed the blood surrounding the girls face.

“Broken nose, try and breathe through your mouth. Relax... breathe in, and out. Stay calm and I’ll call for help.” Blaine assured.

Soon the ski patrol made it with a evac snowmobile to find Blaine using her body to cover and warm Kennedy.

“Miss? We need to get her to the lodge.” The rescuer spoke removing Blaine.

The brunette watched as they speed off down the mountain with Kennedy and she hopped on the other machine to quickly get out of this snow storm.

As soon as she made it the lodge her classmates and Tatum had swarmed her.

“What happened to Kennedy?” Dionne asked.

“Yeah! They rushed her in on a stretcher and everything!” Peter added.

“I’ll need to ask you some questions Miss Hayes.” Tatum asked professionally.

“What the fuck is this!? 20 questions? Where is she?” Blaine snapped.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to answer the questions first. I’m not letting you see her without answering my questions. You are a witness and depending on your answers, a suspect.”

“Take your questions and shove them up your ass pretty boy. You’re not stopping me from seeing my girlfriend.”

The room went silent. Blaine could hear the many gasp’s from her friends but didn’t dare hide her relationship anymore.

“Girlfriend!?” Alexei asked. “I thought Evelyn was her girlfriend?”

“Pretend.” Evelyn noted.

“Finally!” Dionne squealed.

Tatum drug Blaine away and wrote down a room number. “That’s her room number at the hospital. Helicopter just took off.

“Then why are you still here?” Blaine questioned.

“I was supposed to interrogate you, but I see no need. I will need to ask you two what happened for my report when this settles down.” Tatum spoke.

Blaine, as restless as ever, called in her helicopter, and within an hour was taking off from the ski lodge in route to the hospital.

It was another 30 minute flight as she rushed into the hospital finding the correct level and the lucky door she was searching for. Demarco guarded the door but nodded for Blaine to go in.

“Kennedy?” Blaine asked easing into the room, finding the girl asleep on the bed. Her nose was severely bruised but had all the blood washed from her face. The cuts had been taken care of, and she was placed in a neck brace.

“Miss?” A nurse spoke entering the room. “We need to get Ms. Monroe to surgery. We are ready for her.”

“Surgery?” Blaine asked worriedly.

“On her shoulder and clavicle. It took a beating on that impact.” The nurse spoke taking the bed out the door.

Blaine wondered the halls alone waiting for Kennedy to finish surgery. It was literally the longest 5 hours of her life and the longest she’s gone without Kennedy aside from sleeping.

She didn’t know exactly how she fell so hard for Kennedy but she knew she didn’t want to go back. Life was so much better and worth living with her by her side.

“Ms. Hayes?” A nurse timidly approached, not wanting to interfere with a somber looking Blaine.

“Yes?”

“Ms. Monroe’s surgery was successful and she has returned to her room. She won’t stop asking for you.”

Blaine smiled as she took off running down the corridors, nearly bulldozing the room door down trying to get in so quickly.

“Blaine!” Kennedy squealed.

Blaine delicately took the girl in a hug, careful not to hurt her too much. “I missed you Rutherland.”

“Not as much as I missed you. You like my new look? Vogue says if your atleast 33% in castings, your trendy.” Kennedy teased.

“I guess given the circumstances, you look ravishing.” Blaine agreed.

“Ms. Hayes, if I didn’t know any better? I’d say your blushing.” Kennedy teased.

“Am not!” Blaine protested, blushing even harder. “Ok maybe alittle, so sue me.”

“I’ll do one better, come here.”

Blaine did as told and leaned down, meeting Kennedy in a much relieved and much needed kiss.

“I love you Blaine.”

“I love you Rutherland. So much.”

the mandalorian season finale that i wish we could have

Take with a grain of salt that while I am well-versed in the OT and the prequels, my knowledge of CW and Rebels is pretty limited (I’m watching now), and I know nothing about the EU. Disclaimer that this isn’t quite fic, or headcanon, or meta, or speculation - kind of a bastardization of all of the above, maybe. 

Because he is a man of discipline, and because he suddenly finds an opportunity to channel all of that downtime in hyperspace into something productive, Din decides as they leave Corvus that he has no excuse for letting the kid’s powers fade. 

He has no delusions that floating the shifter knob across the cabin is in any way challenging to the kid. Kriff’s sake, Din’s seen him lift a mudhorn and channel a gods-damned explosion. But Din knows from hard-won experience that there’s a major difference between power and finesse, and that the more comfortable the kid becomes with casually accessing his powers, the easier his eventual reintegration with the Jedi will be. 

Besides, if Din is to be responsible for delivering the child to his kind, then he will see to it that he’s done more than just the minimum of keeping the child alive and unharmed. 

They start with simple things. A quick game of catch with knob, Din asking the kid to reach his own utensils, rather than Din handing them to him. 

Din realizes quickly that the child, like any child, is quickly annoyed with the exercises. I know you are capable of so much more, Din thinks, raising his hands in a moment of frustration. He only realizes that he’s spoken aloud when the child blinks up at him. 

Din has a distinct feeling of frustration. It raises a memory, long since forgotten, of his early combat training. He’d longed to go out to the range and shoot his blasters, rather than endlessly taking them apart and reassembling them.

Connect with him, Ahsoka had said on Corvus. 

So Din does. 

He learns to make it fun. Grogu, like any other gifted child, craves a challenge. “Float the ball,” becomes a game of catch. Silent steps evolves into hide and seek. One day, Din lowers to cabin temperature to near freezing, then watches proudly as the kid summons his blanket from the lower level. 

Din also learns the value of calling the kid, Grogu, by his name. 

Din doesn’t tend to think in the way of proper nouns. He is a Mandalorian. His charge is a Child. This is the Way. To separate the individual from its classification only complicates things. 

But the kid, Grogu, likes being called by name. At first, Din uses it reluctantly, as last-ditch effort to capture the child’s attention. But there’s this subtle thrum of rightness that swells briefly beneath Din’s skin when the kid hears it. His eyes light up, and his ears quirk, and Din finds himself smiling beneath his helmet. The name quickly becomes habit. 

As Grogu’s reluctance to tap into the force fades, Din’s challenges become more complex. Din learns, little by little, what Grogu is capable of, and he adjusts his training accordingly.

He’s getting better at reading Grogu, too. It starts as little impressions - the thrill of anticipation while watching him hunt yet another frog, the dread of bathing afterward, a sense of weary contentment as he settles Grogu into his hammock after a long day.

Then the dreams start.

At first, Din doesn’t remember them. He wakes with vague impressions, confusion/fear/longing/emptiness. Din isn’t usually a dreamer, and the intensity of the residual emotions unsettles him. 

He rolls with it, though, like he rolls with every bizarre development that the universe throws his way, until one night he wakes panting, sitting straight up in his bunker, cold sweat running in rivulets down his spine. 

Darkness. Fear, no, terror, pervasive and all-encompassing. The acrid scent of smoke and cauterized flesh. Screams cut violently short. Heat and heavy footsteps. An eerie blue glow that hums as if alive, familiar and dreadful and encroaching ever closer. Loss, aching and empty and devastating beyond belief.  

A familiar trill brings Din back to himself. Grogu is sitting up in his hammock, wide awake, staring at him with his head cocked. 

And suddenly, Din understands. 

He doesn’t speak, just lifts Grogu from his bedding and holds him close. Grogu snuggles close into the softness of his cowl, and Din feels his tiny heart beat fluttering wildly in his chest. 

“Ni ceta,” he tells Grogu. I’m sorry.

From that moment, Din starts to become aware of a bond between them. The intense, foreign feelings, the dreams that feel so real, that new, instinctual understanding... it’s all Grogu. 

Now that Din is aware of it, the connection is obvious. Grogu doesn’t communicate with words, no, but if Din is concentrating, he can determine which emotions are his and which belong to the kid. 

At first, it terrifies him, and twice, he nearly sets a course for Corvus to ask Ahsoka just what the kriff is happening in his head. But Grogu understands more than Din has ever given him credit for, and Din knows, whether by instinct of through the force, that Grogu won’t use his power to harm him.

In fact, Din finds that their bond is beneficial for more than just mutual convenience. Sure, he knows when Grogu is telling him that he’s tired or bored or hurt or hungry, but Din discovers that if he quiets his mind and concentrates, he can get a vague impression of how Grogu is doing. Where he is, if he’s content or not. Din can’t initiate a conversation between them, not in the way that Grogu seems to force himself into Din’s brain with all the subtlety of a baying bantha when he pleases, but Din finds that this casual awareness of Grogu’s continued existence is enough to convince him of the utility of their connection. 

He even finds that he appreciates it. 

Grogu, for his part, comes to recognize that Din is more than just a passing master who is casually training him in the ways of the force. Grogu doesn’t have words for what Din is to him, but his instincts determine that it is something outside his own experience. He is familiar with the concept of master and padawan, and the bonds between them. This, still, is not correct. Mando, as others call him, or Din, as the Mandalorian calls himself, is not a master. That much is clear. The Jedi Order doesn't have a term for what he is, so Grogu lifts the term from the Mandalorian’s memories as he sleeps. 

Buir. 

At some point, Moff Gideon is going to catch up to them. Din discovers the tracker in the Razor Crest too late, and Gideon takes Grogu. Din is angry, rabidly, ferociously so, until he feels that oh-so-subtle, familiar prompting at the back of his mind. 

Reassurance. Safety for the moment, if not comfort. Absolute, unassailable trust that Buir will find him.

Din chokes. It’s the first time that he’s heard that term so clearly in Grogu’s thoughts, and it alights something primal in him. He contacts Navarro on a secure channel, delivers his message, and then retreats to his cot. 

The Mandalorians of old told legends of the Dream Walkers, warrior sages who harnessed their dreams to tread the stars, to learn visions of the future and past. Din knows already that his bond with Grogu is clearest in his dreams, so he calms his nerves, tamps down on all of his adrenaline, curbs the instinct to go/run/fight/protect, and sleeps.

Din dreams of steel corridors and bright lights. He is strapped down, facing many open windows that look to the sky above him. Cold drips into the crook of his elbow, running chills up his skin. 

The stars, Din thinks as loudly as he can, as aware as he can be. Look up, Grogu. Look at the stars.

Then Grogu looks up and sees the stars.

Din wakes alert and jittery. less than 90 minutes after collapsing into his bunk, and sets a course.

Cara meets him planetside with a ragtag team of hunters and ex-rebels. More are coming, she promises. 

Din won't wait.

They surround a small moon on a backwater planet at the edge of the galaxy. Din doesn’t know the name of the system. He doesn’t care. 

Grogu is here. 

They fight. Din makes it to the lab, nearly has Grogu in his arms before imperial reinforcements swarm the base. Din is overwhelmed, and Grogu is pulled from him. 

Knocked down, but not quite out, Din watches as the star destroyer prepares for the jump to hyperspace. With all his strength, Din reaches for his kid, and his kid reaches back. “Cara is coming,” Din says aloud, hoping that Grogu hears him as he stumbles to his knees.

He is overwhelmed with images and impressions. 

The stark chill of hyperspace. A growing dread. Hands that grip him too tightly. A thin voice behind him, panicked, pleading. “We don’t know how it could affect the final results!”

A struggle. Fear. Pain. Anger.  

“Surely, Pershing, you understand that the final results is are irrelevant if the initial samples cannot be gathered. This will ensure that there are no more undue... interferences.” 

“No, please! He’s only a child!”

A mind-shattering scream, cut ominously short. 

And then, silence. 

So I’m tired of writing this like fic. I’m fairly sure it’s canon (or at least, it’s very popular fanon) that force blocking technology is a Thing. Gideon might not be force sensitive, but he’s probably studied Jedi, and could reasonably assume that there’s some sort of communication between Grogu and Din. At the very least, Grogu would use his newly redeveloped strength in the force to make things difficult for Gideon, and it would certainly be worthwhile for Gideon to cut him off.

But silencing Grogu’s access to the force would disrupt the bond between Grogu and Din. Din, who in true overprotective space dad style, has become dependent on that bond in order to assure Grogu’s comfort and safety. The sudden loss of the bond would certainly be absolutely shattering, and Din, who has no other context, would naturally assume that Gideon killed Grogu. 

Now, I’m a slut for the “presumed dead” trope. Din would-burn-the-galaxy-and-everyone-in-it-if-you-harm-a-hair-on-his-head Djarin seeking vengeance for the murder of his little green son is something that I would pay dearly to see. We’ve never really seen Din lose control, not like this. We’ve never seen him fully invested, with absolutely nothing to lose. 

I want to see him bet everything on this, call in every favor and exhaust every contact on tracing Gideon’s star destroyer around the galaxy. I want him to have time to acknowledge his grief of losing Grogu. I want him to accept that Grogu was his kid, and to regret never taking those Mandalorian adoption vows. I want Din swearing justice, knowing that infiltrating Moff’s star destroyer is a suicide mission, and just not giving a shit.

Cara manages to talk a little sense into him. Wait, she says. I can’t understand how you feel, but I know why you have to do it. Let me get some people together, let’s do this as a team. We can take them all out, make sure they can’t harm anybody else.

It kills him, but Din delays his vengeance long enough to allow them to form a plan.

I would really love some scenes between Din and Ahsoka, with Ahsoka attempting to help Din deal with a severed bond. Though her padawan bond with Anakin Skywalker wasn’t quite the same as the bond that Din had with Grogu, Ahsoka has experienced a similar loss before. It’s all a little more complicated because Din isn’t inherently force-sensitive. 

Basically, Din is shattered.

The Day comes, and Din tears though the destroyer, cutting down anybody and anything that dares stand in his way. He takes great delight in blasting Pershing three times through the heart, but the sniveling imp presses a code cylinder into his hand as he dies. 

“Take it,” he chokes, looking desperately into Din’s visor with glazing eyes. “Save... save him...”

Din grips the cylinder, still clammy from where Pershing had held it, and something in him quickens. 

Ignoring the ensuing battle and his mission to find Gideon, Din hacks into the ship’s computer. He finds a lab, well hidden, accessible only to Pershing and Gideon himself. 

Hope rises, fierce and glitteringly painful, but Din tamps it down, doesn’t dare give it power over him. He storms to the lab anyway, using the code cylinder to make quick work of the security protocols, and there, just beyond the door, is Grogu. 

Bruised, anemic, far too thin, but alive. Reaching for him.

Ad’ika, Din is suddenly aware of saying it aloud. He still can’t feel Grogu, is still painfully aware of the emptiness at the back of his mind, but the word feels right, and Din says it again. “Ad’ika.”

Grogu coos, and Din notices the manacles on his wrists. 

Beskar, but not any alloy that he’s familiar with. They are warm, almost painfully hot even through his gloves, and Din can see the scars from where their heat has burned Grogu’s skin.

Din hardly has time to process this before he realizes that they are not alone. 

Din naturally has to have a massive showdown with Moff Gideon in order to take his kid back. Lots of darksaber/mandalorian/beskar/jedi lore that I don't have the knowledge to delve into, but in my head, it’s pretty cool. No idea how Grogu would get rid of his manacles, but I would love to give him something to do in this fight, rather than him just being rescued by Din. I imagine that the beskar gets hot when Grogu attempts to tap into the force; the scars on his wrists are from the many times he’s tried to defend himself or reach out through his bond to connect with Din.

Also, damn, as soon as the manacles are off and Din can feel Grogu in his head again, he’s going to be absolutely overwhelmed, but in the best way.

Lots of healing/comfort in the aftermath. Din is dealing with some heavy guilt, especially as he’s tending to Grogu’s scars. Grogu is pretty insistent that Din doesn’t take the blame, and eventually, they work it out. Din drops his helmet and swears those adoption vows as soon as they are alone on the Crest, and the bond between them only strengthens because of it. Din learns a lot about Grogu’s history and the Jedi in general. Ahsoka is much more helpful now that she knows that Din is committed to raising this kid and not just fobbing him off on her. 

Din turns down the title of Mand’alor, unceremoniously tossing the darksaber to Bo-Katan because he just doesn’t give a shit about it. All Din wants is his ship and his kid, and that’s what he gets. 

His Name Was Isaac - Ch. 4

Fanfic summary: During a mission to avenge his mother’s death, Isaac hunts down the men responsible for her murder and kills them off one-by-one, only to discover that his last target is taking refuge among the Van der Linde gang. In an attempt to kill them, Isaac attacks the gang and unknowingly becomes enemies with his own father, who is in the process of fighting his own battle for redemption.

Point of view: third-person

Author’s note: Thank you guys for all the support you’ve given so far! The messages and comments I’ve received have all been so kind and caring. It really means the world to me. Hope you enjoy this part :)

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This story is also on AO3

LATER THAT DAY

AURORA BASIN

“You ever wonder about eternity?” Mrs. Downes’ voice echoed in Arthur’s head, ringing like a distant bell.

“...You should.”

These days, it felt like that was all he could think about. With Hosea dead, Marston gone, and Dutch’s life hanging by a thread, Arthur often found himself pondering what awaited them in the near-future.

Their gang was pretty much done, despite how much Dutch tried to deny it. He may have acted as if they were still in their prime and running around like in the good ol’ days, but with both the Pinkertons and Skinner Brothers crying out for blood on the horizon, Arthur didn’t see much of a future for them at all. If anything, the only thing he saw coming for the Van der Lindes... was an end.

They were already living on borrowed time as it was. Their gang had experienced so many close calls and damned so many lives, that Arthur figured they were due to pay for their crimes sooner or later. 

He had lived long enough to see that there was no such thing as getting away with a sin, and considering how things had been going for them lately, he assumed that their time would run out before they even realized it.

Civilization was the new foundation for America... and without anywhere else to run to anymore, Arthur only hoped he’d be able to wake Dutch up before it was too late.

Otherwise... he didn’t know what they would do. 

Scribbling down a few more lines into his journal, Arthur threw together a simple portrait of Dutch as he quietly relaxed by the campfire, allowing his mind to drift away with the soft crackling that emitted from the flames.

He had just finished his heated conversation with the old man and left him to rest in the cabin, but even after calming him down, Arthur couldn’t deny that he was still on edge.

The way he acted back there... it was nothing like the Dutch he knew. In Arthur’s head, he still pictured the outlaw as a paternal figure. He saw Dutch as someone who cared for others and dared to question what everyone else accepted as their perpetual reality. 

He was a guardian. A father. A dreamer. A lost soul trying to find his way back home.

But the man in the cabin? ...He was nothing but a stranger to Arthur. His mind and mannerisms both remained a mystery, and the added layer of insanity on top of all that did nothing except further his paranoia. 

His life revolved solely around greed and pride these days, and if Arthur didn’t know any better, he would’ve said that Dutch himself didn’t even care anymore. 

They both knew their life as outlaws was done for. That much was obvious. But the difference was -- only one of them was willing to accept it.

“Spoke with Dutch about the robbery today,” Arthur wrote next to his drawing. “...It didn’t go so well. His illness keeps getting worse, and his mind ain’t doing much better neither. He’s deranged. Lost. Nothing but a memory of his true self.”

“It just makes me wonder how life is gonna be after he passes. I didn’t say it to Dutch’s face back at the cabin... but one of my biggest fears in life is the idea of being left alone. Family’s pretty much the only thing I live for nowadays, and without anyone else to stand by my side, part of me wonders if the world is just gonna stop turning when Dutch dies.”

“I don’t even know if I’ll want to stay with the gang at that point. I suppose I could try to make contact with John and the others once again. Try to live a normal life. But knowing Abigail, she’d probably want nothing to do with me. They have Jack to take care of, after all, and it’s no secret that Abigail despises anything to do with criminals. Not that I blame her.”

“I guess I’ll just have to wait and see where this goes. I ain’t got that many options left in life, that’s true. But that don’t mean I’m not gonna try to do the right thing. We was born to be outlaws. And it’s clear to me now that that’s how we’ll die too. But I may as well try to make amends while I still have the opportunity.”

“It’s the only thing I can do at this point.”

Setting his pencil down with a conflicted sigh, Arthur stuck it in between the pages and shut his journal closed, shoving the thing back into his satchel. He figured he had wasted enough time skulking around in his head for one day, and decided it would be best if he just focused on preparing for the bank robbery ahead.

There were weapons to load, guns to clean, plans to lay out... and judging by how Dutch was doing just a few minutes ago, Arthur assumed most of the work would fall on him and Micah. That was usually how things went.

Before he could return to the task at hand however, a pair of men approached him.

“Morgan!” Shay called out as Bill Williamson walked alongside him.

Arthur mentally groaned to himself, admittedly not in the mood for socializing. “Shay. Bill.”

Mackintosh had a seat at the campfire, making himself comfortable on a crate. “Heard you had a talk with Dutch. How’d it go?”

Arthur took his hat off, combing a tired hand through his hair. “About as well as you’d expect.”

Bill joined in. “So, we’re robbin’ the bank then?”

He put his hat back on. “Yep. Looks like it.”

Shay was obviously disappointed by the news and shook his head in disapproval, glancing at the cabin. “...He’s gonna get everyone killed, Arthur.”

Arthur sighed in a defeated tone. “Look, I tried to get through to him, but his mind’s been set. It’s clear that he ain’t leavin’ Blackwater anytime soon, and if we try to push any harder, I’m worried he’ll kill someone. Dutch already pulled a gun on me when I talked to him. We’ll just have to do our best during this robbery.”

Shay stared at Arthur for a moment, evidently not reassured. 

“...We have seven people, Arthur. Seven. And two are staying behind to guard the camp. That’s four outlaws and a dying man against what, a dozen lawmen? Pinkertons, too? This robbery is gonna be a suicide mission.”

Arthur rested a hand on his knee. “Well, we don’t have a choice. Alright? I don’t like it either, but no matter how unstable he might be, Dutch is still the boss. If he says we’re gonna rob the bank, then...” his eyes fell to the ground, “...that’s what we’ll do. You don’t wanna do it, you can always sit it out.”

“No, I’ll come.” Shay confirmed. “But you can’t deny that this is a stupid idea. We should be movin’ away from the Pinkertons. Not straight towards them. That was kinda the whole reason we even bothered travelin’ this far west.”

Mackintosh let out a breath and backed down for a moment, dragging a hand down his face. “Ah... I’m sorry, Arthur. I dunno why I’m puttin’ all this on you. I know it ain’t your fault. You tried your best to talk to Dutch, so, really... I should be thanking you. I just wish he would’ve listened.”

Arthur nodded in agreement, standing up from the campfire. “...Yeah. Me too. Sadly, my words seem to always fall on deaf ears these days. Feels like no one’s listenin’ to us. Not even ourselves.”

Strolling away from the fire, Arthur suddenly stopped in his tracks when he noticed that someone was missing from the vicinity. He assumed that everyone was at camp and getting ready for their upcoming job in the next few days, but upon further observation, the gang appeared to be one man short.

Arthur turned back to Shay and Bill, quirking a brow at them.

“Hey, have either of you boys seen Micah?”

~~~~~~~~~~

MEANWHILE

BLACKWATER SALOON

Laying the weathered piece of paper down on the desk, Micah presented his roughly-drawn map of Aurora Basin to Isaac as the young man relaxed in a wooden chair, studying the map with one hand and holding onto his rifle with the other. He and Micah may have been partners for the time being, but that didn’t mean he trusted the outlaw for one second.

“...Aurora Basin.” Isaac read aloud, his eyes skimming over the text. “So this is your camp?”

Micah nodded, crossing his arms. “Sure is, cowpoke. You ever heard of it?”

The young man shook his head. “No.”

“Good. Then that means I chose a good spot. Or not, depending on how you approach it.”

Isaac pulled his chair closer, taking a better look at the map. “Well, what’s the best way in? Is it well-defended?”

Micah rested a hand on the desk. “Overall, I’d say yes. There ain’t nothin’ but mountains on the west side of the camp, and the region of Tall Trees completely envelopes the other. If you wanna attack the gang, you’re gonna have to get real close. Unfortunately for you though, there’s only one way in.”

“I thought so. Is it this path here?” He pointed to the road on the eastern side of the map.

“Yep. That’s where we post our guards. We’ve always got two men standing there just in case anyone... unfriendly shows up.”

Isaac leaned back, contemplating his next move. “So... there’s no way in from the east or the west. What about the north and south? Is it possible I could sneak in from there?”

Micah rejected the idea. “Surrounded by mountains too, I’m afraid.”

The young man furrowed his brow. “Well, shit. Looks like this is gonna more difficult than I thought. What about the guards who are posted at the entrance? When do they switch out? That might be the only opening I can seize.”

“Every couple hours or so. But they don’t switch at the same time, so there’s always gonna be at least one person there who can see you.”

The outlaw offered an alternative. “Though... it might interest you to know that the gang’s headed out for a robbery in two days.”

Isaac perked his head up. “It is? Where?”

Micah chuckled. “That information’s irrelevant to you. The part you should care about is the fact that everyone’ll be gone for a while. The only people who’ll be left are the two guards at the entrance. But I’m sure a tough boy such as yourself can handle them just fine. Can’t you?” 

Isaac rubbed his chin in thought. “I should be able to sneak in, but I need to know more about the camp itself first. Where do you keep your supplies?”

Micah pointed to a group of wagons stationed near the hitching posts. “Here. That’s where we store most of our food, weapons, medicine, ammo... you name it.”

The young man diverted his gaze to another location. “And what about this cabin here?”

The outlaw followed his line of sight. “Oh, that? That’s where our leader lives.”

“You mean Dutch van der Linde?” Isaac clarified. “I’ve heard he’s quite the unpredictable man.”

Micah sighed. “Unpredictable, paranoid, and dying. The deadliest combination. I’d suggest leavin’ him alone for now.”

“...I’ll keep that in mind. But tell me more about this robbery. When are you boys setting out? How long d’you reckon you’ll be gone?”

The outlaw took a moment to think. “Oh, I dunno... about an hour, I’d guess? Not a lotta time for you to find the camp and do what you need to do, but it’s the only chance you’ll get. As for when we’re leaving, we usually start robberies early in the morning. We don’t wanna give the law a chance to wake up properly before the chaos ensues.”

Isaac stood up from the desk. “That works for me.”

Micah eyed the young man with a cautionary glare. “...Just remember who helped you get this done, princess. You may be payin’ me, but I still got guns of my own. I won’t hesitate to use ‘em if you leave me no other choice. Understand?”

Isaac took the map and folded it in his hand, casually assuring the outlaw. “Of course, Micah. I won’t forget.”

“Good. Then I think I’ve given you your eighteen dollars’ worth of information. You wanna know more, you’ll have to pay more. For now, though...” Micah made his way to the exit, resting a hand on the doorknob, “...all I can say is good luck.”

“Wait.” Isaac said, stopping the other man before he could leave.

Micah lazily glanced over his shoulder, clearly eager to get out of here. “What is it?”

Isaac took a seat on the edge of the bed, placing his rifle on his lap. He seemed a little too calm for Micah’s liking, and the next words that came out of his mouth did nothing to ease the man.

“...Don’t eat the food after you return from the robbery.” He warned plainly, obviously thinking of something. 

“Otherwise, it won’t be pretty.”

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) {2}

Summary: Ethan wakes up to a whole new set of challenges with his soulmate, but he had no idea just how deep the trouble she would get into would be. With a medieval infection in the hospital, Ethan only thinks of her.

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, swearing, medical descriptions of things some might find nauseating, infectious disease

Word count: 5.3k

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) series Masterlist

A/N - heavily inspired by Grey’s anatomy, my own experiences and thoughts, but also by songs: Birdy - Not about angels, Bear’s den - Fortress, Matthew and the atlas - Out of the darkness, Harry Styles - Falling, Kodaline - Wherever you are.

I really hope you guys like it! Feedback is always wanted and appreciated, no matter how small or big it is! 

If you want to be tagged for future parts, reply down below.

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Pistanthrophobia - fear of trusting others

Waking up alone is the last thing Ethan expected, but to wake up alone and nearly five hours later was definitely unbelievable. Not a single page? Not one of his interns fucked up so badly that they paged him thousands of times? Maybe he misjudged this generation after all?

"Nah", Ethan mumbled to himself, shaking his head as he pulled himself up to sit. Rubbing his cheeks, he tried to stop himself from smiling, to stop the warm feeling in his chest where she laid atop him but he couldn't. Even if she left before he had woke, Ethan was happy with their progress, although leaving him in bed alone seemed to have become her memo.

Dragging himself out to get a cup of coffee during this tireless double shift, Ethan wondered if she'd be waiting for him close by or if she was feeling better after losing her first patient, but he found himself disappointed when he couldn't find a single trace of her. His phone vibrated and even if he wanted anything but to pick up the call, the only person he knew was persistent enough to wait for the last ring was his brother and he always picked up Grayson's calls.

"What do you want?" Ethan grumbled, slipping a few coins into the vending machine for that cup of coffee he was dying for, not in the mood to speak but he thought it might be important.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine." Grayson chuckled, waiting to hear his brother groan or growl on the other line and he didn't have to wait for long.

"Just wondering if you misplaced something? Or someone?" Grayson teased as if he didn't know his brother isn't a morning person and he was definitely not in the mood for games.

"What are you talking about?" Ethan frowned, grabbing his cup eagerly as it fills up.

"Just heard one of your interns ask for a transfer and they told her no, but she seemed adamant that the cardio resident she's assigned to isn't right for her education here." Grayson licked his lips, aware he's pulling at the right strings because even if he never saw the elusive Y/N, he felt like her description matched the girl Ethan told him about a year ago, his instincts screamed it was her, and he was quite unhappy with his brother's lack of sharing for he would have expected at least a text from Ethan about his soulmate being his intern.

"What was her name? Did you hear that?" Ethan cleared his throat, pursing his lips nervously because he really fucking hoped the progress he thought he made wasn't just erased. Did he scare her off?

"Y/N Y/L/N. Your soulmate?" Grayson clarified and Ethan leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. He managed to fuck it up, he just didn't know how.

"Did she see you?" Ethan asked, gnawing on the inside of his bottom lip, annoyed with himself because it seems as if every step he takes toward her, she takes two back.

"Nope, but I did tell the nurse I'll take your interns over for the day. They should see the miracle of life before they see death. Thank me later." Ending the conversation, Grayson moved to meet the interns at the changing rooms, eager to meet the little Miss who drove his brother up the wall. In a way, Grayson was fascinated by this woman who seems to disappear like a ghost every time Ethan was near and he didn't understand why she was fighting this unmovable force of nature.

"So, uh, I heard you killed a guy on your first day." Cocky intern leaned into Y/N who was just trying to tie her shoes and get on with the day. Escaping Ethan's arms wasn't easy, especially when he seems to have a death grip in his sleep. But she had to go, to leave and find a way to switch mentors before she fell for him, the guy who clearly wasn't falling for her.

"I'm Brett and I like girls who get their hands dirty." His cheshire grin made her sick to her stomach because as attractive as he is with his pale blue eyes and blonde hair, she had absolutely nothing but disgust for him.

"Leave her alone, asshole. She doesn't care who you are." The only other female intern spoke up and Y/N chuckled lowly, nodding in agreement.

"I'm Alex." The blonde settled beside her, shooing Brett away with her hand until he rolled his eyes and left to get dressed.

"Y/N. Thanks for getting rid of the fleas." Y/N leaned back on the wall as Alex laughed and Brett turned back just to make an annoyed grimace at the two.

"So, how was the boss yesterday? Was it easy working with a hot genius like him? Did you have sex in the on call room?" Alex whisper shouted in excitement and Y/N's face fell, realizing Alex won't be the friend she hoped she would be a moment ago. She just wanted gossip.

"He's a talented surgeon and a good teacher. As for the rest, this isn't Grey's anatomy, on call rooms are for rest not sex." But before she has a chance to get up, someone walks in - authoritative and eager; way too eager with his pink scrubs.

"Good morning. My name is Grayson Dolan and I am to be your boss man for the day." The moment Y/N looked at him, her heart stopped. There are too many similarities between Grayson and Ethan and she was realizing one irrefutable fact.

"There's two of you?!" The words escaped her and she slapped a hand over her mouth as quickly as possible, just not fast enough to stop herself from becoming an embarrassment.

The left corner of Grayson's lips curled up, forming a smirk as he turned his attention to Y/N, taking a good look of what destiny had chosen for his twin and he knew she was trouble even without Ethan's complaints about his torn up heart. She looked like she was made for heartbreak but also the loveliest nights.

"My brother and I may wear the same face but there are very few similarities between us which I'm sure you will learn in time." Grayson winked, before turning his eyes to the rest of the room. "You all will. After all, we will be seeing each other weekly from now on. One of you will be mine for a week until you have your OBGYN hours filled."

Swallowing thickly, Y/N looked away nervously as she fidgeted with her stethoscope. She felt warm, as if her body forgot to regulate her temperature and she could hardly breathe.

'Did it get hot in here? Or is this guy's sunshine personality setting every room aflame?' She wondered silently, thinking how as awkward as it was around Ethan, at least he didn't force conversations and he didn't seem like the overly curious type that pries into people's lives as Grayson does. He looks like the kind of a person people go to in order to feel better, for his warmth and cheerfulness to transfer onto them - he was the definition of sunshine, a cure for dark and depressing people and Y/N was certainly one of them. But she didn't want a cure and she didn't want him to meddle. For the first time ever, Y/N wanted to spend time with Ethan, in the comfort he gave because he didn't force happy onto her and she felt safe in feeling what she feels, knowing she didn't have to adjust, to change. It was the first time she hoped for Ethan, but it wouldn't be the last time.

And lucky for her, he showed up right on time, just as she started losing her shit.

Fingers snapped in front of her face and Y/N gasped, blinking fast as her eyes refocused on identical twins that stood before her. "Hey! Are you listening to any of this?" Grayson questioned with a slight smile, genuinely entertained by her and her dreamer personality because he was sure it would both annoy and compliment Ethan's personality. Ethan is a dreamer too, but never at work and that would surely be a challenge for the pair.

"Um. Missed the few last minutes. Probably should get a cup of coffee." She raised her eyebrows, trying to seem convincing because she didn't want to be unprofessional but she also didn't want to piss off two of her teachers.

"Well, let me sum it up. You're in the pit today, page me if you find any pregnant women in need of a consult or any cardio patients. That's when you -" Stopping him mid-sentence, Ethan jumped in. "That's when you page me."

With a nod, Y/N pressed her lips together and pushed her hands into the front pockets of her lab coat, hoping they would just stop staring at her so intently, as if they're expecting something of her and she can't understand what that is.

"Got it."

She rushed out of there faster than humanly possible, needing room to breathe because for whatever reason, the Dolan twins made it impossible to draw in a proper breath during that short interaction.

Expecting insanity in the ER, she had managed to eat a granola bar before heading into a rather calm emergency room. Using the chance, she introduced herself to the staff, learned the proper numbering of beds and trauma rooms and a few hours in, she finally got a proper case.

"I'm doctor Y/L/N." She smiled, gathering information from the patient while doing a checkup.

"So you're an exterminator?" She kept her voice airy, her tone pleasant as she noted the man has a fewer, complains of chills, muscle aches, diarrhea, cough and fatigue.

'Likely the flu', she presumed.

"For the last thirty years. Used to be a banker, a painter and a writer in my three hundred years." Hearing that sparked jealousy in her heart. She shouldn't be jealous about other people managing to do all they wanted to in their long lives, but she was. She had plans of her own and they seem unlikely with her current soulmate situation.

"Sounds like quite an adventurous life." She smiled, checking for swollen lymph nodes. Finding quite swollen, tender but firm lymph nodes, Y/N frowned, cold sweat forming at the back of her neck as the man coughed. Managing to turn her head to the side, she grasped for a facemask and placed it for protection as she prayed. Caution is always better than reckless endangerment.

'Surely it can't be...'

"Is everything alright?" The man questioned, startled by the sudden change in her stance and the odd look in her eye.

"Can you please take your socks off?" She asked, hoping it won't be what she thinks it is because that would be just her luck.

However, the moment this man took his socks off, he took a few fingers off in the process and no matter how many times she had read about gangrene, she still wasn't prepared to see it up close and personal. The foul smell of rotting flesh made her stomach turn and she struggled to keep her composure. You're supposed to be calm and collected but they don't really prepare you for this in med school.

"Oh, God!" She exclaimed, looking around wildly to figure out what to do.

"Stay calm, sir!" She told him but she seemed more upset than he did. As if he knew it was in such a state, as if he had come in for the gangrene in the first place - the 'by the way' syndrome at its best.

With shaky hands, mask in place, she stumbled to the nurse's station and lowered her voice, careful not to touch anything or anyone.

"I have strong suspicion that we have a case of the Black Death...the pulmonary type, and I've been exposed. Make sure all the patients are isolated just in case and then make sure so am I. I'll take samples for the lab, send them as emergent testing, I'll write a CITO order. And disinfect every inch of this floor." Y/N ordered, her voice shaky as she set herself back to see the patient again, preparing to take samples to confirm her diagnosis. She hoped to God she managed to get that mask on in time, swearing under her breath for being reckless and assuming it's the flu and that she'd be fine. She finally got her immune system up, she finally got her vaccines and she got cocky, thinking she's untouchable and now while everyone else is delivering babies or having once in a lifetime surgeries, she'll be in isolation because she got a patient with a medieval diagnosis. Just her luck.

And while Y/N was being quarantined along with the three patients who had the misfortune of being in at the same time and one nurse that admitted the patient, the entire ER closing for disinfection, Ethan and Grayson were drinking coffee in peace.

"She's definitely a piece of work." Grayson chuckled lowly, raising the cup to his lips casually as if Ethan wasn't snorting at his statement, aware of that fact even without his brother pointing it out.

"Young too. She's a baby surgeon, Ethan." Grayson deadpanned, taking a sip before putting his cup down. Curling his fingers around the cup, he scrunched the plastic cup easily, something he did with every plastic cup he drank from.

"Is there a reason why you're stating all known facts?" Ethan sassed back, sarcastic undertones very clear and matching his annoyed face. While Grayson sat back relaxed, Ethan tapped his fingers on the desk continuously, telling just how difficult Ethan finds the situation at hand. He wanted to know this girl so badly but she didn't seem to share that want. How do you love someone who doesn’t want to be loved?

"Yeah. I'm tryna’ help you bro. She's young, meaning she didn't have a hundred years like you to do her thing first. She didn't have time to be her before being your soulmate. Besides, did you even tell her you're her soulmate? Does she even know it's you? Because if you're not ready to risk your pride and heart for her, why are you expecting it from her?" Grayson raised an eyebrow, waiting for Ethan to open his mouth and say something right, something that would lead him on the path toward her and just as his lips part and the lost look in his eyes fades, Alex, the intern he barely remembered by anything except her being the only other woman with a fancy stethoscope, walked in with news he never wanted to hear.

"Y/N, I mean one of your interns is in quarantine!" She screamed more than spoke, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

"What the fuck do you mean by quarantine?!" Ethan jumped to his feet in an instant, feeling as if a bucket of ice cold water fell on his head and he had never been as wide awake as he is now.

"It's the black death."

Autophobia - fear of being alone

Loneliness had never bothered her before. Accustomed to the lone wolf kind of a life, Y/N had started questioning the unsettling feeling in her chest. After all the time she had spent on her own, she was scared by the coldness inside her that lived within ever since she snuck out of Grant’s apartment where she had left her underwear along with her virginity. That feeling of coldness was gone since he had appeared in her life again and now when she found herself isolated, alone again, she felt the cold grasp at her insides once more and for the first time in her life, Y/N wasn’t prepared to be alone again.

“Hey there. Feeling good?” She didn’t meant to smile when she heard the sound of his voice nor did she mean to let her eyes light up with the sight of his pretty brown eyes on the other side of the glass. She hadn’t expected her heart to jump inside her chest nor did she expect her cheeks to flush considering she’s wearing just a hospital gown and while she managed to hide her ass, she still felt exposed, indecent.

“Yeah. Already started myself on antibiotics before the CDC came in.” She shrugged slightly, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she approached the glass slowly, wondering if he’d be proud of her for managing to handle the situation so well. Or as well as it was possible in the moment. She didn’t expect Ethan to be anything but.

“Great!” He exclaimed with a smile that quickly turned sour and her own smile fell, the light in her eyes fading as he started yelling. “NOW I GET TO SCREAM AT YOU FOR BEING SO RECKLESS!”

Pacing left and right, he managed to keep his eyes on her, his hands shaking as he questioned her.

“I’m not sure what the hell you were thinking going to talk to a patient with a flu without a mask or why you were even seeing a flu patient when you’re a surgical intern! Now I’m down an intern and when we said some of you won’t make it till the end of the training, we didn’t mean you should go and recklessly handle patients until you catch a deadly infectious disease!” Throat hoarse, aware of the wandering nurses’ eyes that held judgement and the slightest bit of entertainment, Ethan stopped to take a deep breath and at least try to stop the never ending pounding of his heart and maybe it’s wrong of him to yell at her when she’s in a stressful situation of her own, but she is his soulmate and he barely had the chance to love her and he is scared to death he never will. So yes, he is angry and he is struggling to understand her and the dustiest parts of her soul but it’s beyond him. She’s beyond everything and everyone he has ever met.

“Reckless?” She snorted, folding her arms across her chest, shifting her weight onto her left foot before she too had something to say and while she wasn’t necessarily shouting, she wasn’t quiet either.

“I had my flu shot so I though approaching the flu patient without a mask might be less frightening for the poor man. Also, there was no one else in the ER to see the patient but me! Was I supposed to prolong his suffering when I’m perfectly capable of doing a physical myself? I did what any doctor would and more considering I made a rather remarkably rare diagnosis so quickly that I prevented that man from getting the rest of the hospital staff exposed! You should be proud of me, not pissed off!” Eyebrows knitted together, her eyes narrowed at him and lips pressed together, Y/N stood her ground, refusing to apologize for what she did because she didn’t think she made a mistake. Sure, the mask was a miss, but she would learn from her mistakes…if she gets the chance.

“You page me if she gets symptoms!” Ethan didn’t even spare Y/N a glance as he ordered the nurse and left her alone in that glass room that felt like a prison. He just stormed out, like a man with a paper sword that couldn’t handle losing an argument. For a girl who was all too used to hospitals, she wasn’t quite prepared to go through yet another period of time in a hospital bed.

“Do you need anything else, sweetie”, the nurse asked her, handing her a thoroughly cleaned stuffed animal to hold, her favorite one. A girl of mere ten years facing such a monstrous disease that grew within? It made the nurses cry after every shift. All the kids in the department did, as rare as it was.

“Are my parents coming?” Y/N asked quietly, her voice hoarse. Anyone’s voice would be hoarse after throwing up for five days straight, unable to keep anything down.

“I’m sorry baby, not this week.” The look of pity on the nurse’s face was what Y/N hated the most. She hated being treated like a baby, like a delicate little porcelain doll that couldn’t handle the world. She had faced more in her short life than those who chased immortality. She was very aware of the toxic relationship her parents shared and how they prioritized each other over her. She had learned to accept that.

“That’s fine. At least I have Mr. Cuddles.”

Y/N wished she had Mr. Cuddles now, to just have something or someone to hold. She wished she could relieve the sadness and the annoying sense of abandonment Ethan’s abrupt leaving left her with. She wanted him to stay a while longer for he made her feel lighter without even trying and she hated him for being an ass to her and even more so when he didn’t visit her for the next two days.

Thantophobia – phobia of losing someone you love

However, she didn’t know he was there whenever she was asleep, watching her with a worrisome heart and a tired mind. He knew she was a little troublesome, but he didn’t know she would make that tiny streak of silver hair turn into a full set of grey hair. It’s what he’d be facing in less than a year if her behavior continues as it is.

What he didn’t expect is for her to open her eyes in the middle of the night, finding him on a chair with his head resting on his numb propped up hand. She rolled her eyes at him instantly, pushing herself up with some difficulty before detaching her own IV.

“Scared I’ll die?” She asked groggily, taking a sip of her water to soothe her dry throat. She was definitely starting to feel ill, hating how her body turned weaker and weaker as it did when she was on her treatments. She didn’t want to go back to being the poor girl who sat alone in her room with no family to see her. Making friends with other patients was easy, but they could never touch, never risk getting each other sick. They were social distancing by sitting on opposite beds or coming to each other’s rooms and sitting on a chair by the door when one was too sick to get out of bed. But she didn’t have any patients to make friends with now.

“Yeah. But not from the plague.” Ethan huffed, swallowing before speaking. “Your tests are still being done, will probably be negative but you do have strep, so we’ll have to treat that unless you want to be on my table in about thirty years with faulty heart valves.” Standing, Ethan nodded to the penicillin she had inside her room, hinting it’s better she takes it on her own, although he didn’t mind getting into a hazmat suit if it meant seeing her ass again.

“Great. So if I do have it, I’ll be dealing with two diseases at once. Nice. Nice luck I got here.” Sarcasm dripping with every word she formed, Y/N grabbed the prepared medicine and groaned. She hated getting shots, even more so penicillin ones because they always hurt like a bitch. However, she had a fairly high pain tolerance after everything she’s been through. The nurses used to say when she complained of pain, they immediately called doctors to check up on her because her six was usually a ten on other kids’ pain scale.

Palping, she found the site she’s supposed to stick a needle in. Closing her eyes as she shakes her head, Y/N let out a dry chuckle at the ridiculous situation but she was ready to do it anyway. She didn’t care about Ethan being there, he couldn’t see her ass from where she was standing, but he could see her face. So, she took great care not to make a face when the needle pierced her skin nor when the penicillin started burning, her entire leg feeling like it would give out. Slowly, she injected the medicine, breathing a little shallow but she was proud of herself for remaining calm and collected, even with Ethan there.

“Wow. Actually did it. Impressive, rookie.” Ethan teased, his arms crossed and his face smug. Y/N didn’t like that. “I was sure you’d tap out in the last second. I’m actually surprised you weren’t late giving yourself the medicine like you were on your first day!”

But she wasn’t in the mood for jokes and he missed that.

“Un-fucking-believable! Now?! You want to keep taunting me now? I have no words!” She screamed at him, her hands up in the air in frustration as her nostrils flare and her eyes widen with a new thought. “Oh! Wait! I’m thinking of some! Jerk! Ass! Arrogant! Man-child!” Her throat felt raw and her face hot, but she was ready to fight even if her legs did shake in his presence…or was it her rage? Maybe the infection? She couldn’t tell anymore, especially when he raised his index finger and his face was overtaken with a wide smile and a chuckle followed soon.

“Hold up! Man-child?”

“YES! A fucking man-child!” She repeated herself and that’s when his smile faded and he remembered he’s supposed to be her mentor and this is supposed to be his hospital. Soulmate or not, he couldn’t tolerate this behavior.

“I’d caution you to watch what you say to your boss. You better shut your mouth if the next words coming from you don’t include an apology.” Ethan warned, his hands folded before him and he was no longer Grant as she saw him as most of the time. This was doctor Ethan Dolan, the man she was sure would make her life miserable and while she wanted to keep yelling at him, she couldn’t.

It wasn’t because she had a moment of clarity or because she thought kissing his ass would get her somewhere, figuratively not literally as she had already done that and she knew he had a pineapple on it. No, she felt something different, something she read about but never saw let alone felt. Her throat started closing up and her lungs burned for oxygen she couldn’t provide no matter how hard she tried.

Holding her throat, her eyes wide and bulging, Y/N fell to her knees, unable to hear Ethan who screamed for the nurses from the ringing in her ears that made her deaf to the world. Her face swelled up, her eyes closing and she could no longer see or hear, only feel and she felt herself slipping, falling to the ground, desperately heaving for some air.

Ethan couldn’t wait, couldn’t follow protocol and get himself in a hazmat suit before panic opening the room with his key-card, grabbing the emergency kit as he entered, collapsing on his knees beside her, an adrenaline shot in hand. Administering the adrenaline, bronchodilators, corticosteroids, antihistamines and an oxygen mask, Ethan finally felt like there might be hope as the swelling started to go down and he could hear her breathe again. He had her back on the bed, second line of medication set to drip in her IV.

Shaking uncontrollably, he had stared at every movement her chest made and listened intently to every intake of breath she had made, terrified his worst fear might still come true and he might lose her, rendering him alone for the rest of his life. Sure, Grayson would be insulted with these thoughts of his, but having a soulmate as you age is what life is supposed to be about, not a twin who’d make remarks about every line he gets on his face or how saggy his balls must be getting. She was what his whole life has come down to and hundred more years couldn’t counter the happiness he got to experience in a single night with her. That would never change.

Hours passed and he finally relaxed, not enough to sleep but enough to sit down and breathe.

Exhaling loudly, Ethan looked around for a chair or something to brave the night in, aware he’s now stuck in the room with her for as long as it takes for the tests of her swabs return which would likely take a few more hours at this point. He didn’t regret his actions and he understood why she defended her own so fiercely earlier. It was funny how he understood her soon after every fight they have and they had quite a few squabbles in this double shift – the first of many. She has a breathtaking, wildfire heart and he absolutely loved her for it. He had infinite tenderness for her. He always will. As long as he lives.

“If you get the plague and die, I will kill you.” Grayson threatened from the other side of the glass, his own fear of losing Ethan showing in his deep brown orbs, even more so in the frown he couldn’t hide. And Grayson Dolan was many things, but not a man who frowns easily.

“You can’t make me feel guilty over something I don’t regret.” Ethan shrugged, pressing his lips together before closing the distance between them. The glass stood as a barrier, one that would keep Grayson safe in case Ethan does catch a deadly illness but he had faith it would turn out to be nothing.

“I know. I’d have done the same.” Grayson shrugs sadly, a small smile gracing his lips as he looks over Ethan’s shoulder to see Y/N. “How is she?” He too cared for the girl, too quickly but he did. He saw her as a sister, someone to protect. He saw her as an extension of his brother’s soul.

“Good for now. The allergic reaction stopped but we have her on some meds to make sure it doesn’t enter into the late stage. As for her strep infection, I’ve got her on other meds that won’t kill her so that should be fine too. I expect her to be fully capable of chewing me out in the morning.” Ethan chuckled lowly, turning around to make sure she’s still asleep and while he had no intention on telling her about them just yet, he couldn’t stay away from her. Not ever.

“Why? Did you tell her you’re her soulmate?” Grayson clasped his hands in excitement and he reminded Ethan more of a high school cheerleader than doctor with more than a hundred years of experience under his belt. He loved how positive Grayson is, but he needed to keep his voice down when he’s spilling state secrets, especially when the subject at hand is only a few meters away.

“SHHH!” Ethan whisper-shouted, wishing he was on the other side of the glass to smack his brother over the head and teach him a lesson.

“She doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling her. She’ll figure it out herself and until then, I want her to know me without the pressure of having a soulmate bond. Bro, I just want her to see we’re made for one another and not run from me every chance she gets.” Ethan rubbed his forehead in frustration, glancing over his shoulder at her stirring figure, unaware she managed to catch a few words the two have spoken about her and while she may be under the influence of more than one drug at the moment, she knew it was important to remember that Ethan and Grayson have both muttered the words she feared most of all – soulmate.

However, moments later for her, minutes for Ethan, she felt a knuckle against her cheek, gently dragging along her skin before the warmth of touch disappeared and she decided she wanted it to last longer, her hand moving on instinct, grasping Ethan’s.

Smiling in the darkness, Ethan settled beside her in a chair, his hand holding hers for dear life.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Tags: @beinscorpio @peacedolantwins @heyits-claire @dolandolll @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @ethanhes @iwastornsincethestart @graydolan12 @fxkthatdairy @zeusgrayson @libradolan @justordinaryjen @pineappledolan @graysavant @voguekristens @imayoutubere @livexdolan

(some of you couldn’t be tagged for some reason, probably Tumblr’s fault)

ten questions tag | i was tagged by: @mshelleys, @emdrabbles, @pe-ersona, @evergrcen and @septemberliterature. thank you so much, and i’m so sorry i’m getting to this so late!

everything is under the cut!

@mshelleys

i. if you could change the genre of one of your wips, what would you change it to and how would the story/characters change?

So, trahison already features a ghost and a brief stay at a manor. have i considered turning it into a full fledged horror because of that? perhaps.

ii. do you think of your characters as actors playing a part in a movie or as people in history actually doing things that effect the future?

i think of them as actors playing in one long, crazy, unpredictable play. 

iii. role swap your protagonist and antagonist but keep their personalities the same; how different would your story be?

honestly, not different at all, because when it comes to it, the subject of trahison’s antagonist (s) is pretty complex. 

iv. are any of your characters based on you, family, friends, or someone else you know?

oh, absolutely. my characters range between self inserts, to characters i wish i was more like, to characters that are essentially walking, talking, breathing love letters to the people i care about.  

v. how long have you had your main protagonist(s) of your wip(s)?

I’ve been working with marin, nate and ruby for years, long before they were even called that and were a part of a dystopian crime novel (don’t ask). antoine joined them soon after, followed a while later by beth and isadora, and miles was invented during the plotting stage. 

vi. do you prefer to write chronologically or just make a bunch of scenes and order them after they’re written?

it depends on what i’m working on and how serious i am about it, but if we’re only talking about trahison, then chronologically!

vii. imagine the problem in your wip is sorted out, how would the protagonist recount the story to their children if they asked?

with a far away look in his eyes and an uncharacteristic fondness in his voice, marin would turn to his children, and tell them how extraordinary his friends were during his university years—their zeal, their inquisitiveness, and conveniently leaving out the uncomfortable loyalty they all had towards each other, until time and life’s commands separated them. 

viii. favorite (non-spoilery) line(s) of your current wip(s)?

This small bit of description, albeit a little purple prose-y, is one that i’m very, very proud of.

“ The morning rain had made its grave in the dirt, the bittersweet smell—like exotic black tea—rising into the air. It was the night pluviophiles came to dance. If I think hard, I can still taste the ghost of the raindrops on my tongue and sense Beth’s radiating warmth beside me; its own ghost ” - trahison, chapter three

ix. if your wip was a movie, could you see it be done in the 70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s, or 2010s? why that decade in particular?

so, fun fact, i hadn’t decided when to set trahison (see: the big question mark in my plotting notebook) but i have recently made up my mind and decided to set it in the seventies! if it was a film, then i could see it being made in seventies france! very a la the dreamers.

x. are you able to just make up a story on the spot, or do you need help (plot generators or other outside influences)?

sometimes i’ll take the help of prompts or media, but otherwise i just come up with things on my own!

@emdrabbles

i. what do the names of your main characters mean? did you pick them for the meaning or another reason?

i picked the trahison characters’ names based on two things: how much it related to the character’s backstory or personality, and how pleasing it sounded out loud. here are the meanings of their names:

marin — of the sea

ruby — deep red; precious stone; behold a son

elizabeth — god is my oath

nathaniel — gift from god

antoine — priceless one; beyond praise

isadora — gift of Isis

ii. what book are you currently reading?

I’m currently reading the time machine by h.g wells!

iii. last sentence written?

“ When the end of the world comes — I’ll film it ” — copycat, or the one where i predict the future. 

iv. who are some of your faceclaims?

i usually don’t use faceclaims, but if i had to choose:

marin van doren (trahison) — timor simakov

eloi hill (psychophantia) — maxence danet fauvel

cass parker (penny lane) — monica tomas

v. gimme some worldbuilding facts!!

alright, here’s one: in the world of psychophantia, not only is the magic system and your powers controlled by your morals, but so is your social ranking, your education, and any future you may have—to an extent. 

vi. do you outline? if so, do you have a specific method?

i’m a plotter and only really work well with a solid outline, however, my outlines range from a series of messy, incoherent bullet points to meticulous scene-by-scene planning based around the three act structure. this post is my go to for plotting assistance! 

vii. favourite author?

Like every tumblr user ever, i love donna tartt and maggie stiefvater, but i’m also a huge fan of f.scott fitzgerald, agatha christie and vera caspary!

viii. what is your oldest wip?

trahison! It went through many, many changes — from changes in genre to changes in character names, and there’s still a possibility that it could change even further. 

ix. what is your favourite wip?

every wip i reblog under my #others. tag! You all are so damn talented!

x. where do you get your inspiration from?

everywhere around me! from conversations i have with people, from films and books i consume, from the music on the radio — i like that anything and everything can inspire me to create.

@pe-ersona

i. in one sentence, explain your current wip!

a group of secretive students attempt to become immortal, only to uncover the worst parts of themselves — and each other — as they do. 

ii. was writing your main interest or did you have other interests?

although writing is my main interest (see: my social media bio on every platform ever), i also like to journal, sew, cook and make videos! my interests usually do have to do with the intention of creation. 

iii. what’s your favorite genre to write? to read?

I love writing horror and mysteries. those are my favourite genres, but i also love reading a good contemporary romance!

iv. what is one goal you have for your wip this year? how’s that goal going?

to finish the first draft! so far, not so bad, though i do wish i could write more, but unfortunately, time constraints plus school restrict me from doing so. 

v. how old is your wip? or when did you start writing your wip?

trahison is nearly three years old, but i only started writing the current version of it a year ago. 

vii. what scene made you cry or laugh or both?

these lines made me laugh out loud the first time i wrote them:

“ Up the stairs stumbled Miles, my slovenly genius roommate. He grinned at the giggles and winked at the exasperated stares. 

The gall of him! 

I wanted to be him. 

He managed to find his balance enough to reach our dorm. I immediately stepped back to let him in, and to make sure I was in no association with his uncomposed state. Nate gave a disapproving look at his back as he staggered in. 

I took another step back, raised a pointed eyebrow, and closed the door ” — trahison, chapter three

vii. how many ocs does your wip have? who’s your favourite?

my main wip, trahison, has six main characters. out of the main six, my favourite has to be nathaniel. he is very much the epitome of pure, and sometimes i wonder how he ended up in the middle of such a dark plot. 

vii. you have a brand new idea for a wip, what do you do? 

brainstorm, brainstorm, brainstorm. scribble down whatever the hell pops up in my brain, attempt to link it together by a thin string of yarn, cross my fingers and hope for the best.

ix. you are having your first book-signing, where are you?

i’m in a small bookstore, nestled in a corner near the storage room. almost no one knows about this town, so the line is small but chatty, fans exchanging theories and analysing certain paragraphs. the sight of them makes me feel warm inside. 

x. you have the ability to live in any book, publishing or not, what would it be?

would it be too cliche to say the harry potter universe? other than that, other worlds i would love to be a part of is the world in my novel penny lane, or in midst of a detective story.

@evergrcen / @septemberliterature

i. how did you come up with your wip’s title? what does it mean in relation to the story?

okay, so i discovered the word ‘trahison’ after hearing my french teacher say it, and immediately knew i had to use it for something. ‘trahison’ means betrayal or treason in french, which is one of the main themes in the novel. 

ii. do you title your chapters? if so, what’s your favourite?

I don’t, but I would love to!!

iii. what’s a recent line you really like?

Not a very dramatic or noteworthy line, but here’s one from a poem i’m writing:

“ So the two of you get in the car, proceeding to have an argument with the radio ” — examples of easy solutions, or the one where the internet has no answers. 

iv. are there any writing-related quotes you really like?

“i think a lot of art is trying to make someone love you” — keaton henson

v. do you have an idea for a cover design for your story?

A black background with serif text, that’s it. It’s simple. It’s mysterious. It’s the type of vibe I want to exude. 

vi. what sort of au can you imagine your story being?

...dark academia au anyone?

just kidding. in all seriousness, though, i can see a royalty/political au for trahison, or a medieval fantasy au!

vii. which oc would be the most angry with you as the writer?

eloi. i really need to give that poor boy a break. 

viii. if you had to tell the story from a different pov, which character would you choose?

ruby! she’s the token enigma of trahison, so i think her point of view would be very interesting to see. 

ix. what would be your oc’s taste in music if they lived in our world?

OKAY let’s see:

marin — classic rock, so the who, queen, def leppard.etc

ruby — that one person who you’re pretty sure only listens to classical music, but is actually very attuned to modern day music. she would mostly listen to female singer-songwriters, so take lorde, marina, lana del rey, and other such artists. 

beth — take one look at her playlist, and you’ll see that ninety five percent of it is mitski, while the other five percent is bedroom pop. she would like very tender, calm, cry to in bed music. 

Antoine — same as marin, but add other modern day music artists with eclectic sounds, such as twenty one pilots, arctic monkeys, that sort of thing.

nathaniel — classical music, instrumentals, and film soundtracks make up his playlist. if it has sung words, he won’t listen to it. has little to no understanding of modern day music and is too scared to find out more about it.

isadora — 2000’s diva pop plays in the background of her life. rihanna is her go to whenever she gets to control the party. Don’t be surprised if ‘rich girl’ by gwen stefani starts playing in your head at the sight of her. 

x. what’s one personal goal you want to achieve by the end of the story?

finishing it with pride!

TV Review: Crisis on Infinite Earths (Spoilers)

Part One: Supergirl

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the day after the episode airs in the U.S. so if you have not yet seen the first part of the crossover or are waiting for the entire crossover to become available then don’t read on until you have.

Overview:

We have SO MUCH to discuss! So much so that my Easter-Egg section which is usually more or less a minor tag-on at the end of these reviews is possibly going to be the same size as a lot of these other sections we are going through because, as promised by Marc Guggenheim, Easter has come early and we were treated to quite a few very tasty Easter-Eggs, one of which had me cheering at the screen.

But with Part One of this 5-episode crossover already giving us so much action, drama and emotion, it’s not only a question on how the Multiverse survives, but how the rest of the crossover does as well.

In the Beginning:

I love a good theory of evolution story, and we have heard in Arrow over the past season that The Monitor has been around for eons so it stands to reason he was around at the start of creation itself.

I just the sentiment of “In the beginning there was one singularity that soon spawned a multiverse”. It’s a lot like Doctor Who’s first rock theory from “The Runaway Bride”. I don’t know enough about the beginning of all life to actually determine what created the universe, I am more inclined to believe evolution than creationism, but I do like this idea of one reality spawning many.

I wasn’t so crazy about the visuals of this, especially considering in the past whenever we have viewed the Multiverse it’s always been within the Speed Force so we’re used to that blue energy rather than this red darker energy but it seems to be in-keeping with the theme of the crossover so I’m going with it.

Also LaMonica Garrett, who deserves some sort of award recognition not only for appearing as a series regular in both Arrow and The Flash this season but also wearing what I’m sure is the heaviest outfit created, but selling it very well, even the cheesy prophet of doom voice he has down rather well.

Multiverse Annihilation:

Alright so this was obviously to be expected that we would see some if not a lot of Earths be destroyed during this crossover, but my god they don’t pull punches in starting by letting you know “Yeah we’re killing off a lot”.

Now the Earths we see erased during the opening of this episode are Earth-9, Earth-66, Earth-89 and Earth-X. Of those four, we have only ever seen Earth-X which was the Nazi-ruled Earth from two crossovers ago.

Now while there was a great and uncredited cameo here from it and we’ll discuss that further down, would anyone really be sad if a reality where the Nazis won and ruled was wiped out? I know there are inhabitants on that world and for the most part they are innocent and good people, but you would think just maybe find a way to evacuate them like they do on Earth-38 later and then if it goes extinct then fine because it’s not exactly a good reality.

Both Earth-66 and Earth-89 also has great Easter-Eggs just in the name and we’ll discuss that also further down but it is interesting that both Earths-66 and 89 only focused on Gotham City whereas this was the Supergirl episode of the crossover.

Rallying the Team:

Okay so Harbinger, who either was Lyla Michaels but is now an emissary of the Anti-Monitor or simply likes using her Task Force X codename, appears to all the major heroes just as we saw her do in last week’s episode of Arrow and summons them all to Earth-38 aka Supergirl’s Earth.

I have to say as well, I know they’re on a TV budget and can’t really afford to have as many characters in one scene as say Avengers: Endgame did, but the fact they cheapened out and only gave us two Legends (Sara and Ray), rather then also showing Nate, Constantine, Mick and Charlie as well does seem a tad unfair especially considering they’ve been absent from screens the longest, some may say for the better considering the way their show is going.

Also, I will probably talk about this more with the Batwoman episode tomorrow, but they need to clarify the timeline of her show. When we first met her in Elseworlds last year she was Batwoman, but the start of her season saw her become Batwoman, and now she’s still hunting for Alice? How long has it been?

Also, as expected, Tyler Hoechlin’s Superman and his Lois Lane join the party after Argo City is destroyed and they send of their newborn son in a pod to safety. Argo City’s destruction also sees the death of Kara’s mother Alura played by Erica Durance but because I know who’s coming in tonight’s episode and the possibly jokes they’ll make about it I am okay with that as a Smallville fan.

I do always like it in these crossovers when the heroes either first meet or reunite, this time Oliver’s daughter but from the future Mia Smoak and Batwoman are officially introduced as Batwoman reveals herself as Kate Kane, to Oliver’s bemusement.

I do wish also that there was more time spent on character interaction because that is usually what I enjoy most about these crossovers, we had a little bit of that with Brainy and Ray, but Elseworlds I felt established a great repour for Batwoman and the Trinity yet that wasn’t really seen here.

My biggest complaint in this Supergirl episode though is that both Brainy and J’onn were never seen in their natural forms. I know it’s costly and timely to have them look like Brainiac 5 and the Martian Manhunter, but when they just look like Jesse Rath and David Harewood, no matter how great these guys are it’s a comic book crossover event and I would love to see more comic-booky character looks.

Alright so, Harbinger sits down the newly formed or reformed or updated team because they’ve come together now four times to help save a world or multiple worlds or now reality itself and just need to be called the Justice League and get it over with, but anyway I digress.

She instructs the team that the tower that randomly appears was one of many placed by the Monitor on Earths he thought were at risk...why he didn’t just place them on every god damn Earth if he could see the future is beyond me but that’s what we’re getting.

I did like a couple of interactions before going into action where Oliver seamlessly interacted with Barry, Sara and Mia without making it seem forced.

My favourite was the interaction with daughter Mia when he effectively passes on the mantle of Green Arrow to her despite the fact she’s not ready to lose him. I don’t know whether or not the spin-off series focusing on Mia as New Green Arrow has been confirmed yet but we know she will become Green Arrow in the near future.

So Oliver, Mia, Ray and Kate go off and battle the Shadow Demon army that are swarming the tower trying to destroy it for the Anti-Monitor, while Barry, Kara and Clark are off trying to save the people.

I will admit Ray didn’t annoy me quite as much as he has done in recent seasons of Legends during this episode. I did love his interactions with Kate about her suit getting an upgrade and then her asking him to upgrade her batarangs, when Brandon Routh is good he is good and he is pulling double duty in this crossover so let’s hope he’s very good.

Also at this time Lois, because she needs something to do, has gone to Earth-16 with Brainy and Sara to retrieve baby Jonathan who wound up going through a wormhole and ending up on a parallel world...in the future...2046 to be exact.

This was, I feel, there for two reasons. 1) Another Easter-Egg appearance but this time in-house as it references Legends Season 1, but also 2) To still keep the events of “Star City 2046) canon despite the fact that in that episode Connor Hawke was actually John Diggle Jr. and in present day they are not only two separate people but also adoptive brothers...and also we know Oliver is supposed to die so how is he alive in 2046? Well it’s an alternate reality version who apparently can’t remember meeting Earth-1 Sara before.

Our two other teams rallying really only serve to give the rest of the Supergirl cast something to do as Alex enlists Lena to help either build or activate portals to get the inhabitants of Earth-38 to safety while Dreamer and Kelly help get those inhabitants onto ships including the Legion Cruiser that J’onn is piloting because apparently Brainy was given it by the Legion before they left with Winn despite the fact they left in the Legion Cruiser. It doesn’t really make sense but I enjoy seeing that ship again so I am letting it slide.

Saving the Multiverse, Take 1:

This may be quite cynical for me to say but this is what the remainder of the episode was, the first attempt at saving the multiverse because Earth-38 is where The Monitor wanted the heroes to make their stand against the Anti-Monitor.

The Anti-Monitor does not appear in this episode and his army of Shadow Demons are 1) Poorly rendered compared to the likes of the Time Wraiths and 2) Quite easy to defeat when you consider Darkseid has Parademons and even Thanos with his legion of horribles.

In any case while the Supers are trying to fix the tower to make the sky not red which works margingly well before they exhaust themselves, the other heroes are on the ground battling the Shadow Demons. I would have maybe liked if Ray had to cover the Supers while they were doing what they do because it seemed slightly daft that the Shadow Demons wouldn’t try and stop them but that’s what we got.

It was a very small-scale battle and I know we’re only in part 1 and usually it’s the final episode we get the big battle but this was still small scale considering what is at stake here.

The biggest surprise of the battle was Kelly Olsen, who I haven’t really liked all season as she seems pointless other than just being Alex’s girlfriend who always needs saving, apparently has the Guardian armour left to her by James who retired from vigilantism to take over a newspaper in his old hometown and that’s why he left despite never actually being part of these crossovers, his dopplegangers were.

This was also a very low-powered battle. Think about it, the Supers, Flash and Atom all have CGI powers or tech yet we didn’t really see much of it, aside from the Supers trying to fix the tower. Maybe they’re saving the budget for later episodes but it better pay off.

The Monitor comes in as the prophet of doom to basically tell them that they’ve lost this battle but the war still rages, so transports everyone aside from Oliver to Earth-1 Star City.

Oliver refuses to leave and makes one of the most poignent comments I have ever heard him say when The Monitor says “It’s time” and Oliver asks “Has everyone been evacuated” The Monitor responds with “No” so Oliver responds “Then it’s not yet time”. From the trailer I thought this to mean it was time for his death, but actually this was something The Monitor was trying to prevent as he did not see him dying this way, but he does.

Stephen Amell delivers both this line and scene very well. I have never been the biggest Stephen Amell fan and do feel as if he goes to the corny side a little too much but here, given the interactions he had with Barry, Mia and Sara in the episode, and knowing that Arrow is ending and he is supposed to die, it was minorly emotional which is the most emotion he’s ever got out of me.

Fallen Arrow:

The Monitor returns a battered and bleeding Oliver to the Arrowcave in Star City Earth-1 where the rest of the heroes have returned to. Along with the news that they were somewhat successful at evacuating Earth-38 before it was destroyed, it seems that Oliver does actually die in this episode.

First of all, the fact that Supergirl is disheartened to know they didn’t save everyone is stupid because they only worked to evacuate one city compared to the entire planet. Secondly, we know that the episode of Arrow after this crossover will not include Stephen Amell...but to lose him on part one of the crossover does seem like a red herring.

Also I do not think he would die on any other show but his own and that part isn’t until January 14, so I don’t think this is the last of Oliver we’ve seen.

However, out of nowhere, Pariah appears. Pariah is Harrison “Nash” Wells who is the latest Harrison Wells to appear on The Flash and was the main focus of the Crisis teaser at the end of every Arrowverse show over the last two weeks.

I have to say 1) His suit makes him look like Doctor Doom and 2) I haven’t had the time to be as invested with this Wells as I was with Harry Wells or H.R. Wells or even Sherloque Wells to supposedly feel bad for him that he has become Pariah as his penance for freeing the Anti-Monitor.

He is however another harbinger which sounds stupid to say as there is a character literally called Harbinger but not only is Lyla one but so is the Monitor and now Pariah. I’ll be curious to see where this leaves him after the crossover because, unlike almost every crossover before, this is the one that promises ramifications across the multiverse.

Easter-Eggs:

Alright here we go, as I said in the opening Multiverse Annihilation alone, there were multiple Easter-Eggs that not only connect the Arrowverse to various other DC properties but also just have some very cool cameos.

I do have mixed feelings on what they’re doing, as it does look like they are actually trying to combine every DC TV property and possibly movie into the same multiverse which is crazy but it could possibly work.

Titans:

This is the one I cheered at my screen for in a similar way to when they played the Smallville theme while showing their version of the Kent Farm in Elseworlds last year.

As mentioned before, one of the Earths wiped out by Antimatter is Earth-9. On this Earth we focus on San Francisco and two costumed heroes as Antimatter obliterates everything, Hawk and Jason Todd’s Robin. These characters are portrayed by Alan Ritchson and Curran Walters who are the actors portraying these characters in these suits in Titans over on DC Universe.

It was rumoured some time back that Titans would appear in this crossover but never confirmed, I know because for my job I’ve reported on everything to do with Crisis.

Now clearly there’s nothing to say these are the same characters from Titans, particularly as the end of Titans Season 2 saw Jason Todd leave the Titans and we don’t see Nightwing, Dove, Starfire, Raven or Gar, but considering Black Lightning is joining the Multiverse it stands to reason that Titans can as well.

This does also mean that Titans is now on Earth-9, while Arrow, The Flash, Batwoman and Legends are primarily on Earth-1 and Supergirl is on Earth-38.

Batman ‘66

Speaking of other Earths, we have two others that are wiped out in the opening and both focus on Gotham City, why? Well we have Earth-66 which features an elderly gentleman in red walking his dog and seeing the red skies exclaims “Holy Crimson Skies of Death!”.

This gentleman is portrayed by Robin veteran Burt Ward and the character is confirmed to be Dick Grayson of the Batman 1960s series.

This is wrapped up very nicely and honoured in the fact that the Earth is numbered 66 to pay homage to the fact that 1966 is the year the Batman series begun.

Batman ‘89

Similarly, the other Earth we see obliterated is Earth-89. Here we see another Gotham City with a man reading an edition of the Gotham City Gazette that shows a distorted image of Batman with the headline “Batman Captures Joker”.

The man reading the paper is revealed to be Alexander Knox portrayed by Robert Wuhl, reprising his role from the 1989 Batman movie starring Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight and Jack Nicholson as The Joker.

It has also been rumoured before that Michael Keaton would reprise his role as Batman in this crossover, while I still choose to debunk these rumours, it’s official that the 1989 Batman is now canon within the Arrowverse. This takes the Arrowverse from simply being the DC TV Universe to an actual Multiverse spanning TV and Film, something the MCU hasn’t properly managed to do yet.

Star City 2046:

So as mentioned before, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow’s first season had an episode titled “Star City 2046″ where the Legends arrived in a dystopian Star City where Deathstroke’s son Grant Wilson was the new Deathstroke and Connor Hawke was the new Green Arrow and revealed as John Diggle Jr, Diggle’s son which at the time was crazy because Diggle had a daughter Sara before Barry created Flashpoint and replaced Sara with John Diggle Jr...keeping up?

So in the future of this Post-Flashpoint timeline that this universe is now in, we see that Connor Hawke and John Diggle Jr. are two separate people with Connor being the biological son of Ben Turner aka Bronze Tiger and John Diggle Jr now being the leader of the Deathstroke Gang.

This of course caused conflict with that episode of Legends, but because Legends never really follows the rules anyway I think everyone simply let it slide but now we have a loophole way of explaining things.

It turns out that when the Legends travelled to Star City in the year 2046, they also travelled to a parallel Earth, Earth-16. Now this is still in the future so I don’t think they’re saying it’s set, but what they are saying is it still happened and they didn’t overwrite their own lore basically.

We do only see Oliver here, who still has a cybernetic arm from before which Sara remembers and uses to her advantage, but Oliver doesn’t seem to remember that this Sara is not his Sara despite them having a rather candid conversation in that episode.

Also Joseph David-Jones portrayed Connor Hawke of that Earth in “Star City 2046″ so of course it makes sense for him to return as the Connor Hawke of Earth-1 in the future, but why didn’t he appear in this episode if he is already part of the cast of Arrow this season?

The Ray:

Briefest of cameos and unfairly uncredited in my opinion but we see a brief glimpse of Ray Terrill aka The Ray portrayed by Russell Tovey flying through the skies of Earth-X before being obliterated. Tovey first portrayed The Ray in “Crisis on Earth-X” two years ago and was part of the first openly gay male relationship in comic-book history with Wentworth Miller’s Leo Snart.

He then went on to voice the character in his own short-lived animated web series Freedom Fighters, but to see him return in live-action even for a brief uncredited cameo shows how much Tovey respects both the character and this universe and I love him even more for that.

Jonathan Kent:

Alright so I’ve mentioned baby Jonathan a couple of times because we knew Lois was pregnant at the end of Elseworlds last years however now seeing Jonathan Kent Jr. I am excited for what this could mean going forward.

In the comics, Jonathan is the son of Superman and Lois Lane given the full name Jonathan Samuel Kent to honour both his grandfathers and is a Kryptonian-Human hybrid who becomes the new Superboy and teams up with Damian Wayne, the Teen Titans and the Legion of Superheroes.

So when Brainy mentioned him going through a wormhole and time-travelling I thought they may be setting up that he’ll be taken in by the Legion, Mon-El may return with a grown-up version of him later in the season or something, but no he’s safe and Lois has him back.

The one thing I will say about him is I hope the writers don’t relegate Tyler Hoechlin’s already minimal Super-Antics into simply being Super-Dad. The odd dad line is funny but I hope that’s not all he is.

I am going to wait until Part 5 to rank the entire crossover but if they keep the momentum that Part 1 managed to accelerate then this could be the greatest TV accomplishment ever and could even rival Avengers: Endgame in how they literally bring worlds together.

So that’s my review of Crisis on Infinite Earths: Part One, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC TV Reviews as well as other TV Reviews and posts.

03/30/2020 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 13:1-15:23, Luke 8:40-9:6, Psalms 71:1-24, Proverbs 12:5-7

Today's the 30th day of March, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian it's great to be here with you. Can you believe tomorrow's the last day of March? I…well…I'll try to have it believed by tomorrow but we’re in today. This is 30th of March and we’re continuing our journey in the book of Deuteronomy and in the book of Luke and we’re reading from the New International Version this week. Deuteronomy chapters 13, 14 and 15.

Commentary:

Alright. So, in the book of Deuteronomy, as we know, these are the final things that Moses has to say to the children of Israel. So, we’re reviewing things. They’re more tight and concise. Rather than sort of like reading the giving of the law, we’re hearing his last discourses. But he comes to one today that's about as big of a command about as big of a deal as can be in this culture, and that is idolatry. And, we can roll our eyes and go, “idolatry, who worship idols? That’s so stupid. What are those people thinking?” Like we can think these things and because they’re not like major issues in the world today, we would consider them irrelevant, but this is not irrelevant. So, Moses is telling people that a prophet or a person, a dreamer comes and says something about the future or gives a sign of some sort or performs some type of miraculous thing or something that they say does happen. So, like, let’s just pause, like just stop there and suppose that happens because usually if something like that happens we are drawn to know more and to may be persuaded by that person because it seems as if something's going on, right? God’s doing something. So, so far so good, no problem. I'm just pointing out if these kinds of things happen, we get drawn into them, which may be in fact a very good thing or in fact may be a very bad thing. Like we can just follow the signs, or we can have a wise heart of discernment, which is what Moses is trying to instill into the people. So he’s like, “if that happens and something they say does come true and then they say, come, let us worship other God's, then you know.” And Moses wasn't messing around about this. I mean he was saying like, “even if this person is a family member and their enticing you to go worship false gods, then you should be very clear and intentional about getting them out of your lives.” That's like a big deal. And, so, when we read through passages like this and sort of try to read through our modern lenses and go, “man this is really harsh. It doesn't like…it doesn't…why is it such a big deal?” I mean this behavior, Idolatry being…seducing people away from God is a capital offense in this culture. So, like, wow! Why? Why is it that big of a deal? So, if we take off our modern lenses and just like go back several thousand years into a very tribal world, especially where all this is going on, people, communities, nations, literally…they literally made images and then declared them their gods and sacrificed before them and created all kinds of stuff that they had to do as acts of devotion. And it's not like this is a foreign concept to the children of Israel. All we have to is go back to Mount Sinai. We spent so much time there in the book of Exodus and we remember that Aaron was asked by the people to make them new gods because Moses disappeared. And then Aaron’s just like, “I just took all the earrings and stuff and threw them into the fire and out came this golden calf.” This is what's going on in the nations all around them. This is the world they live in, a world in which there are many gods, gods of the different nations. And, so, if drought comes then the gods are not happy. If rain comes then the gods are happy and wherever those things are happening that's where God is blessing them. When war comes, whoever wins, that God is the more powerful God. The strongest God is always the victorious God. So, we can look at all those kinds of practices as strange and bizarre. We don't, most of us, live in cultures that affirm any kind of religious practice like this. Although the fact is that idol worship absolutely still exists in the world today but it's…it's beyond a statue. It's what's going on inside that matters. So, it’s not just building a statue and “you are my God” and, I guess, killing a goat. Idolatry is what's happening inside. Is giving over, surrendering our hearts and our hopes to something - a person, a thing - and we put our hope in that person or thing and then the expectation is that it will give us life, something that we want, that we consider life. So, we could just zone out and just dismiss all of this as, “statue worship, who would do that” until we understand that what we’re talking about is what is going on inside when you give your heart in worship, when you give yourself over to someone or something. All of a sudden idolatry becomes much more near because anything can be an idol. Our possessions can be an idol. The power that we have or don't have can be an idol. People can be idols. Sex can be an idol. Our need for control can be an idol. Our money can be an idol. Like, you name it and we can make an idol out of it. And we do. Like, this something that we've been doing all along through the human story and we’re gonna see that the children of Israel aren't gonna listen to this. Like, they’re just not. Like, they’re going to do exactly what they're being told not to do and we’re gonna get a front row seat. But why is Moses commanding since such stern severity. Like, why is this so serious. It…it's because idolatry, giving our hearts to something false, is going to be cancer inside of us and inside of everyone around us. It will eat us from the inside out. It will make us forget we are and who God, who the source of life actually is. So, when we turn to lesser things in hopes to get life we’re forgetting that there is only one life giver.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, we invite You into all of that. We certainly feel confident that we’re not worshiping statues and sacrificing rams and lambs and trying to perform acts of devotion to some false God, but we can make false gods out of anything. And, so, we have to confess that idolatry has been a part of our lives and it's very very serious. So, Holy Spirit, we invite You, we open ourselves to You, that You might show us the places that our hope is not in You, that our hope is something else or that we’re getting pulled in some kind of direction, “come, let's go over here, there’s life over here.” Help us to, once again, remain completely aware that there is no life outside of You. You are the giver of life. Life flows from You. There is no other God but You. You are the most-high. There is no other hope. Forgive us for our distractions. Forgive us for the way that we've been seduced we ask in the name of Jesus and we invite Your Holy Spirit to continue the work inside of us today, revealing these areas where we have been deceived or we have been seduced. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the mighty name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website and that is home base, that’s where you find out what’s going on around here.

We’re in the middle of something that's…well…it’s unique in the world, but it's unique in the Daily Audio Bible as well. Since last week we’ve been releasing a chapter a day from the book Sneezing Jesus and what fun we are having with that. When this virus started working its way around the world and disrupting things, I started thinking about this and then I thought about it some more, then I called my publisher, NAV Press, who published this book a couple years ago and just talked to them about, “could we kinda release this in serial fashion, like a chapter a day, the audio addition, a chapter a day.” This is so poignant for right now. Like there’s so much bad news and this is THE good news and it just discusses how the kingdom, how the gospel spread like a virus. And it's so poignant for right now. In a sea of scary things this is the solid rock. So, we’ve been releasing that and we’re just giving it to you. It's just coming every day as an additional episode along with the Daily Audio Bible. And, so, so happy to see these words igniting something, reigniting something. So, today…today's chapter that we’re releasing is called keratoconus, which would…which reveals maybe something I don't really talk about on the Daily Audio Bible but reveals something personal about me. Keratoconus is an eye condition that I’ve had all of my adult life. It's…it's when the…it's when your cornea, which is round it, protrudes in a certain area, becomes coned in a certain area. And then light, you know, your brain is used to interpreting light as it hits a round cornea and since mine are kind of deformed then light…my brain doesn't know how to interpret. Like everything looks like a smear, multiple images all smeared together. And, so I can…there's…there's a correction for it, where very, very rigid contact lenses that kind of vault over the deformed areas and then fill in with tears and then you have kind of the illusion of a round cornea. So, I talk about that in this this chapter. There’s an interesting story in the Gospels where Jesus is healing a blind man and Jesus asked him, “how do you see?” And he’s like, “I see men as trees walking.” And that's always been meaningful to me because if I take my contacts out, I know what that looks like. So, this chapter is just exploring the miracles of Jesus and…and actually more…even more importantly, His posture toward the miraculous. So, that chapter is available today, just right there in your app. And I pray that…I’ve been praying every day that these chapters are offering an alternative perspective, like something else to focus on, something like Jesus and are encouraging the world over. And, so, so happy for the feedback, that that is what is happening.

Okay. If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you. We wouldn't be here if we didn't do this together and that is a fact. So, thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Eye of the Storm, Ch 3

Here is the next part of the story. Here's the link to the master post for the first two chapters.

This chapter continues to look into Robert and Maggie's feelings and their past, and where things might go between them in the future. No smut, but there is innuendo, verbal and physical. 😉😎

Thank you so much to @firethatgrewsolow for the sanity check and advice. ❤️❤️❤️

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Maggie parked and found herself staring at a small building with windows for walk-up orders. Lines of people were patiently waiting their turn. Anyone driving by would have known in an instant that it was an ice cream shop, by the large statue on top of the building. It was an ice cream cone with cartoon eyes, a Cheshire grin, and gangly arms and legs, a frozen confection caricature that was frozen in a dancing pose.

“I first noticed this place on a ride back from LA, and I made Benji stop,” said Robert, while he and Maggie continued to sit in the car.

“I can picture you, dying to be first in line and racing to the window,” Maggie teased.

“You know me, I always go hard for what I want,” he said with a maddeningly sly smile. “But alas, my ankle was uncooperative, and Benji wasn't a good sport about getting to the front. So your cherished Golden God queued up like everyone else.”

“Referring to yourself in third person, are you now? Maybe your pain meds need to be reduced?”

“Where's the fun in that?” The sly smile returned. “No, I'm basically off of those. I'm running on my standard chemical enhancements. And my favorite natural high, of course.”

“Well, it's official, folks: Mr. Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll is back to normal.”

“As normal as I can ever truly be,” he quipped with self-deprecation. “But yes, I'm mobile, I've got time to burn, and I'll be on vacation, as far as I'm concerned. I'm looking forward to shacking up, as it were, with you, during this last bit of down time.”

“It really has been too long,” Maggie agreed.

“And I'd really love to keep this thing going after the music hoopla kicks in. Having a girl who can understand the highs and the lows of being an artist--having that person be you--would mean the world to me. And I'd love to be there for you, too, if you'd let me.”

He stared intently at Maggie and sighed. “You know, I missed a big opportunity when I moved here… I should've reached out to you then. I wasted a lot of time.”

“I'm glad you brought that up. Why didn't you call? You always did before. It was disappointing to have to read about it in Rolling Stone.” Maggie looked expectantly at Robert.

“All I wanted to do when I got here was to forget everything. We had to cancel the final leg of what was an exciting tour, which was most disappointing. But Cole damn near had to pick roaches off me in the hospital and bribe our way out of Greece.”

He brushed his hair out of his eyes and turned toward the window. “And then I could barely say goodbye to my friends and my parents before the taxman would've grasped me by my collar and waylaid me with highway robbery. All of Great Britain's greatest musicians are in America now, you know, and not by choice,” he said, turning back to Maggie with a pained expression on his face.

“I read about that… Either stay away, or lose a fortune.”

“Exactly. Tough choice, that, convalesce among my loved ones and be left with fuck all in my bank account, or retain the spoils of conquering the world, but be left without most of my favorite people around… I knew where my head was at, and I feared you wouldn't have wanted to be around me.”

“I can understand your concern. It's very rare that you're not giving off a sunny disposition. But you wouldn't have scared me off that easily.” She placed a reassuring hand on Robert's thigh.

“I really thought I was making the right choice. But sometimes… I mean, Jimmy was camped a stone's throw away in his place, and Cole and Benji kept my time occupied with all the revelry I could handle, but it was lonely for me, even though I was never alone, you know?”

He searched Maggie's eyes before continuing, looking more weary than she'd ever remembered seeing him before.

“And don't get me started on damn physical therapy. I'm grateful to them, for sure, but bloody hell, they were absolute sadists! It got pretty dark for me, for a lot of reasons. I even wondered if all these crazy coincidences meant I was cursed, or something...”

“I'm sorry to hear things got so heavy for you. What a lot of feelings and physical challenges to deal with…” Maggie was still, processing Robert's words and fighting the burning sensation of tears in her eyes.

“Simply put, I was wrong. Seeing you has always been the highlight of my time on the West Coast. You're a hell of a woman, love. You're sweet, and a creative dreamer, but you never compromise on what you want. You put up with me, and my silly, spoiled rock star ways. You always put a smile on my face when we talk. And then, the delights of your beautiful, curvy body…” He looked at her with a gaze that cycled through a number of emotions: love, regret, joy, lust.

Maggie smiled and blushed at his words of devotion but also felt an insistent flutter in her core as carnal memories flashed through her mind.

“I let my mood and my nerves get the best of me,” Robert continued. “But no more. I want to make up for lost time. Let's play house, shall we? Let's wake up together, have fun excursions, let the sun warm us head to toe on the beach, enjoy night caps, and more, in the Jacuzzi…”

He smiled softly and caressed her cheek. “And then we can live through what comes after that, just us, together or apart on tour, for as long as it works. What do you say, señorita?”

“I'd really like that,” Maggie said, grasping and squeezing Robert's hand. “And I would love for ‘this thing,’ as you call it, to keep going for as long as we can.”

“My sweet Mags.” He couldn't contain his smile as he leaned in for a kiss.

She savored his words, warm as the sun that hovered in the afternoon sky without the shroud of a single cloud around it. It was what she had longed to hear from him over their years of off-and-on connection, a desire for something more solid, defined. She wanted to stay enveloped in the fantasy of the picture he painted with his words. She had to believe that she wouldn't be burned by his promises later.

“So, what do you recommend here?” she asked, shutting the car door behind her as she stood. She was trying her hardest to stay in the present and not get swept away by guesses about what their future might hold. She also, reluctantly, realized she needed to curtail the indecent thoughts of Robert that just as forcefully battled for prominence in her mind. It had been way too long since his touch ignited electric sparks of lust through her body. It was maddening to be so close to him but so far from the ensnarement of his thighs, the pressure of his body on top of hers, the fullness of him inside--

“--All of the flavors are delicious,” Robert said, peering over the car at her and interrupting her thoughts, “but if I had to choose? I like the classics: vanilla, chocolate, strawberry.”

“All at once, I'm sure. Some things never change...”

“Hey!” Robert protested. “While I'm on the mend, dairy is even more important for my bones, innit?”

“You've won your case, Mr. Plant.” She couldn't help but laugh. “OK, let's get a little closer, so I can check out the menu.”

They joined a line. Maggie had her eyes on the menu, but most everyone else had their eyes on Robert or were whispering to someone about him.

It didn't take long for the more courageous admirers to descend upon him, expressing their love of him and his band. Pens were produced, and napkins, bus schedules, anything the fans could get their hands on for him to sign. A few raced to their cars to procure eight-tracks, cassette cases, and cameras.

Robert was all smiles and thank-yous among his people. He confirmed for the crowd that the next Led Zeppelin album “would be out in a little more than a fortnight,” but that touring would likely come much later. “I'm still getting my sea legs back after my accident,” he explained. The crowd was sated, for the time being, by the interaction with their idol and the promise of a comeback album.

Maggie had lived this experience before, of fans wanting to share their favorite Led Zeppelin concert memories with Robert, or living a few seconds of fantasy by taking any conceivable opportunity to touch him. But now, she fantasized about this excitement someday being the reality for her band. She hoped they could achieve even a tiny fraction of the success that Led Zeppelin had.

She and Robert made their way to the front of the line. Others came and interacted with him. “I'll have a mint chocolate chip cone, please,” Maggie said to the girl behind the counter. “And for him--”

“--Vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry scoops. On the house for both of you, with all this business he's bringing in!” The girl smiled and stared longingly at Robert. “How's his ankle doing? Poor baby.”  

Maggie considered the teenage girl, who was surrounded by an invisible cloud of Love's Baby Soft and swathed in a pink velour sweatsuit under her uniform smock. She wore a hair net over her ash-blonde mane, and Maggie would bet anything that a feathered hairdo would emerge from its workplace moorings after closing.

“Much better. We just came from a soccer game, and he was standing the whole time.”

“Lucky you! I've only seen him with the leg brace before. You're new… He has come here a lot, but there's always a different girl…”

Maggie blinked and considered the even expression on the girl's face. Was it an absent-minded observation, or did the girl intend to hurt her? Maggie mulled it over. Either way, she wasn't going to let it get to her.

“Well, if we're back out this way, you just might see me again. I'm Maggie.” She smiled sweetly before taking both cones and walking away. The girl's words caught Maggie off guard. Although Robert would never be free of admirers, all signals from him indicated that he wanted to put Maggie first. But she knew he had not been alone all this time. She had to be realistic.

She had enjoyed the shooting star path he blazed across her life on tour visits, leaving her to reconnect with reality alone when the time was over. She couldn't help but wonder if his feelings this time would shift like an impermanent mountain of sand once he was back in the thick of tour life, or if she would be tossed indefinitely between his romantic desires and her professional dreams, his tinge of melancholy and her giddy anticipation. Only time would tell.

“OK, Golden God, here's your dessert,” she said, snapping out of her spiraling thoughts and handing Robert his cone.

“This lady says that's all for me today, I'm afraid.” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled apologetically to the crowd before walking back to the car with Maggie, holding the ice cream with one hand and lightly grasping her waist with the other.

“Never mind the bollocks from those bloody punk bands, our fans are still solidly in place,” Robert concluded with the flashiest of smiles.

“How lovely to be so wanted still! And your turn is coming next, Mags. We'll have some press interviews coming up, and I'll be sure to mention the new sensation coming out of San Diego as a personal favorite!”

“Robert, I appreciate that, but you don't have to--”

“--No, I insist, dear! I love your music, and it's the least I can do for you. Oh, by the way, do you have any shows around here anytime soon?” He turned his attention to his ice cream, and not a moment too soon. It had started to melt a little while he was talking.

“Next Friday,” said Maggie.

“I must come to your rehearsal! It's been so long since I've seen my sexy songbird on a proper stage.”

“I'd like that a lot. And, you know what else I would love?”

“What's that?” Robert asked.

“I'd love for you to help me pull together some stage outfits.”

“I know just the place. But let me donate some of my jewelry to the cause, too.”

“Really? Thanks!” She nuzzled into his embrace of her.

“It's not entirely altruistic,” he responded from above, still hugging her close. “I might make you model them for me, so I can see what looks best against your skin. Sans clothes, bien sûr,” he added, his voice softened to his trademark hypnotic murmur.  “No distractions…”

“Por supuesto, of course.” Maggie wasn't sure what made her feel weaker: Robert's French, which was less heavily chained to his British accent than before, or his sexy fashion show idea. Either way, she was burning to be alone with him.

“So, next, it's back to yours, grab your things, and drive off into the sunset to my place.”

“That's right. And you'll see my brother Victor again. We live together.”

“How's he doing these days?” Robert asked, switching his attention back to the ice cream.

“Fine. He's just as excited as I am to have this opportunity. He's also driving the neighbors crazy, practicing his drumming all times of the day and night.”

“Shades of young John Henry Bonham,” Robert said, reflecting on his youth with a smile.

Maggie was busy with her ice cream cone. “I see why you go out of your way to come here,” she said, back at the car. “It's not for the cashier; it's this sinfully delicious ice cream.” She sighed after taking another lick of the irresistible cone. She also couldn't resist probing Robert's thoughts about his enthusiastic fan.

“Totally the ice cream, love. Young Gwen over there, she's just a friend who indulges my sweet tooth from time to time.” He waved and smiled at Gwen, who still had her eyes on him. “With dessert,” he quickly added. “I'm sure she turns into an LA queen at night, but I'm not her king… Enough about her. I'd like you, talented woman, to show me how much you really enjoy this ice cream cone.”

“Sure. I am feeling pretty hungry and impatient, so I'm going to bite a big chunk out of it like this…”

He grimaced. “Whoa, not at all what I had in mind, love!”

She smirked at his reaction to her teasing. “But now I'll take my time…” she closed her eyes and slowly licked up one side of the cone, and then all around. She continued traversing the scoop of ice cream while Robert watched and licked his cone when he wasn't too busy smiling wickedly at the sight before him and the memories of her busy tongue on his sensitive skin. “Mmmmm… I miss getting the special treatment from you...”

“Your wait will be over soon. And mine,” she said with a wink. In a few hours they would be entangled, mind, body, and soul again, at his beachfront hideaway, and Maggie could hardly wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary.

Fluff Alphabet: Reziel

AKA Maybe This Will Help Me Get Back Into Writing

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Cooking, walking, flirty note writing, bad puns, plant stuff, discussing / comparing experiences using magic, complaining about mazoku.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

She’s taken by his servant’s heart. Though there is an obligated/penitent component to it, she can see it truly is what he loves and wants to do. O’course he’s also in the bish category and she digs his hands/mouth/voice/eyes but I already draw enough attention to that in RP I think.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

New territory on this one - she is still learning what is best to do here because of his habit to withhold his pain. But generally, keeping near, listening.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

She pictured a future with Gourry but that was all one-sided fantasy and we’ve got a dreamer here so of course she had that roadmapped in her head. Now she’s in a relationship she honestly isn’t sure where it will go. That is to say, she hasn’t made plans/decided on her own about what is going to happen. I picture them as a wandering cleric team myself, eventually

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I imagine the relationship is rather egalitarian in most senses but his is the, shall I say, ‘more established career’ so in the matter of where and how he wishes to ply his trade, she would be complementary. As a character she is a passive type and neither is she one to strike out on her own, instead following the lead of more dominant types.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Forgiving, and giving the benefit of the doubt, is a key part of her character. I don’t know what they would fight about. It would be interesting to see how they worked it out.  Perhaps in a dangerous scenario, in an attempt to protect, one would attempt to override some decision of the other. But they’re both respectful people so either could bend in most situations, really.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

She feels fortuitous to be involved with him and I’ll say she is aware of certain unpleasant associations which might be inextricable from her presence.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

She is the kind of person who would eventually share most anything but initially keeps a lot close to the chest. Not unlike most people, really.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I like to think they each help the other grow. I should hope her ability to forgive herself (she forgives everyone, herself included) would rub off on him somewhat. ;)  As for him on her, she is lacking somewhat in confidence. But those are the low-hanging fruit. I’m sure there’s more.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

I don’t know about jealous, but she can be envious, especially of particular people who have traits she lacks. That might be a fun scenario to play, but I imagine her MO would be to try to reject jealous feelings (such as for his attention) because if it has his attention it has some value to him. Would she try to compete? Honestly, probably not...

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

She thinks he is. Does he think she is? She’s not sure but she can be a quick study. The first kiss was SPOILERS!

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Probably by accident

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Hahaha, okay, so she totally wants to get married (in general) but she wouldn’t bring it up (with any SO) because even talking about it would be, in her mind, way demanding. She would NOT propose, are you kidding me. What would it be like? Uh, happy? But with the regular ups and downs of life? She is a pretty devoted person.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Love.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Nobody’s reading this who isn’t familiar with the character anyway but it’s obvious to anyone paying a little attention and if she knew how obvious she’d probably be pretty embarrassed. Before they’re an item it makes her simultaneously self-conscious and totally self-oblivious so she says super dumb things and runs away a lot. After establishment she’s very content and comfortable. Love languages are touch and quality time. Small edible gifts always; other gifts only when she is sure the item would be useful and desirable, so she studies up first.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

She doesn’t announce and doesn’t deny. Other people’s privacy and propriety are important to her so she safeguards them; if he initiates something in public it’s fine, but he is the one with a reputation so she returns in kind but won’t initiate. However, if they’re on a stroll and no one is around she might give into an impulse and pull him into a potting shed. (Actually this is likely so be wary of sheds)

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Resilience.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

She is a romantic, but I don’t think she’s one for grand romantic overtures (read: public/showy). She’s all for small personal ones. If she knows what will make him happy you can bet she’s going to try to do it. Service is another huge part of her character, and while that applies to people as a whole, I think she’s very driven to devote particular effort toward just one person. So she tries to be observant and learn what her SO likes/ would like. Whether it’s cliche or creative, then, depends.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Haha!  This is a registered Support Character/ Second Fiddle in the International Character Type Database and nobody stans people like Sylphiel stans people. That shit’s canon yo

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

She seems a fairly constant/ content person but there’s a mischievous/ curious/ impulsive streak in there. So I don’t think she’s doing it to spice things up; I think she’s going it because she can’t help it.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

She really wants to know him well so that means she eventually will. Eerily empathetic without mind reading is what I’m going for with her.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Hard one to put into words; she really really wanted a partner but supposing she never got one, she would still live a fulfilling life because she actively focuses her energies. Having one and losing it? I’m not sure what that would do to her.  

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

She’s that kind of dork who wants a booth instead of a table so she can sit right up next to him instead of across from. But if it is a table or there’s no room beside him or she’s trying to appear respectful in public she’ll have her feet/legs against his under the table.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

YES THEY ARE LOVEBIRDS.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Writing letters.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

I think she’d go to great lengths for a person, but not for a relationship. The former is service and the latter is attempting to force a status, if that makes any sense?

Seal of Fate Epilogue (8/8)

Notes: Did I actually finish a story? Yes, internet, I did. And if you’re reading Once and Future and Playing Off Foul, I promise I will get back to it soon before I post my law school au. Anyway, this has been a wild ride and I have honestly loved all the responses I’ve gotten on this, particularly all of the panic and questioning of whether this last bit would be as angsty as the last bits. I’m going to say....you can be relax. This isn’t angsty at all. In fact, I think you’ll quite like it. Anyway, a special thank you to @katie-dub and @shireness-says for being so supportive. A thanks to @cssns and @drowned-dreamer whose gorgeous art will feature at the bottom of this epilogue. And as always, a huge thank you to @aerica13, my amazing beta. I couldn’t have done it without you babe! Word Count: 4,100+ AO3: [LINK] Chapters: Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Epilogue Rating: T+

The Vineyard Sound was calm, the surface of the water almost as smooth as glass as Emma Swan sat down on the front porch of the yellow beach house. There wasn’t a single soul on the beach across the road, but it was only May and she could only imagine how crowded it got once the vacationers arrived. She knew from what Granny Lucas had told her that the beach was a private one and meant only for the residents of the neighborhood but Emma assumed the majority of the houses here were rental properties and soon the street would be crowded with strangers.

Emma hadn’t expected to remain on the Vineyard past October but something had felt wrong about returning to Maine, especially with Killian in tow. Nothing was waiting for her there while Memensha was full of ghosts, full of history that she had yet to uncover. So, she had given up her shitty loft apartment and decided to stay. She had appealed to the Lucases to remain in the house, offering to pay extra in rent. Ruby and Granny were more than willing to let them stay in the house but had refused their money, claiming that the property should have been hers in the first place because it had been Ruth Nolan’s before it had fallen into their possession. Granny had even forced Ruby to return the rental money, something that Emma was certain had more to do with her guilt than the debatable ownership of the beach house. Feeling awkward about the situation, she had insisted on paying utilities which they relented on.

Emma had taken to working shifts at the diner over the winter on top of working as a freelancer investigator alongside Killian. The majority of their work was on the mainland but Emma sensed that he enjoyed their near daily-ride over to Hyannis, his eyes glued to the ocean. He had yet to go near the water since he had lost his hand. More than once she had caught him looking out over the Atlantic with a mixture of longing and anxiety.

Two fur pelts were waiting in the top dresser, dark and sleek next to white and fluffy; one much larger than the other. They never talked about it but Emma knew it was only a matter of time.

Killian placed a whiskered kiss on her cheek as he placed her hot chocolate down on the table and sat down in the chair beside her, knee bumping into hers. Emma gave him a soft smile, mug in one hand and placing the other on top of his truncated wrist. She had taken to touching his injury in hopes of helping him become more accepting of it. In the first few weeks since the incident, he had taken to hiding it from view. If he had been a normal person with an actual driver’s license and health insurance, Emma was certain he would have been in therapy for it. Since none of those things were available, it was up to her to help him heal from his injuries and trauma. All the websites had recommended she treat his injury as it were normal and that she didn’t see him as less for it. It had been a long and rough road over the winter, yet they were both getting there slowly but surely. Rather than shake her off, as he had done in previous months, today Killian just stiffened briefly at the contact. He relaxed when he turned his attention on the water. Emma took this as a small victory.

“It’s calm out there today,” he said quietly as he drank from his own mug.

“I was just thinking that. And how it won’t be long before it’s swarmed with people.”

“Aye,” he placed his mug down, jaw tightening. “Which is why I think now is the time.”

“Time?” She looked at him uncertainty.

“Time,” he repeated. “Time for us to take a swim.”

“Now? In May? Are you serious? The water is probably freezing!”

“Perhaps to a human, but not to us,” he said quietly. “The ocean is a part of us, love. It’s our home.”

Emma hesitated, placing her hot chocolate on the table and straightening her shoulders. This is a conversation she had played over and over in her head during the past months. They should have talked about this sooner but she had been so happy to have him in her life and so desperate to keep him after everything that had happened, she had allowed them to play house while keeping her fears trapped in the back of her mind.

“It is your home,” she said, looking him in the eye. “But I’m not sure it’s mine.”

“What do you mean, love?” He was looking at her with such concern that it almost hurt.

“I was born a selkie but I’ve lived the last thirty years of my life as a human being. The only time I’ve really spent around the ocean has been when I came here. I don’t even know how to swim, Killian, that wasn’t necessarily a priority for kids in foster care, you know?” She took in a deep breath. “And my pelt...you’ve seen it...it belongs to a baby…what if my connection to it is broken? What if I can’t connect like you can?” Her voice wavered slightly on the last question.

Killian met her gaze steadily, taking her hand off her mug and entwining it with his hand, interlocking their fingers and giving them a small squeeze.

“Been thinking about this for awhile now, have you?”

She bit her lip, not wanting to tell him that she had been thinking about it since October. When she didn’t answer his question, he sighed and spoke again.

“Emma, what happened to you...was unprecedented to say the least. I understand why Granny did what she did even though I don’t and could never agree with it...I don’t know what will happen if you tried to slip into your sealskin but what I do know is that no matter what happens, I’m not leaving.”

“I can’t keep you from the ocean, Killian,” she whispered.

“I can’t promise that the tide won’t call to me - I will need to leave at times, but there is something that I can promise and that promise is that I will always, always come back to you. You are as much part of me as the ocean is, love, and I don’t think I could bear being separated from you any more than I could being separated from it.”

He squeezed her hand again before bringing it up to his lips and placing a kiss on her knuckles.

“Well okay then, you’re certainly no Mr. Darcy,” she responded with an uneasy laugh. She expected him to give her his patented curious look but much to her surprise, he gave her a small smirk and quirked an eyebrow at her.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, love, he was quite a wretched orator. I would have been insulted by that proposal as well and would have hit him for good measure. Much better writer.”

Emma blinked, not expecting this response. “You know who Mr. Darcy is?”

He gave her a slightly condescending look, as if she had dribbled on her shirt.

“I’ve been on dry land for nearly eight months now, love. I know how to read and have plenty of spare time to catch up on all the delightful references you seem to make…” he paused for a moment, smirk growing on his lips. “So, if I’m not Darcy, then who am I?”

“Mr. Collins,” she drawled.

“Hey!” He pushed her shoulder lightly. “That’s not nice! I’m Mr. Bingley at worst.”

“So you would rather to be the guy who can’t make his own decisions and is easily persuaded by his sisters and best friend?”

He frowned at that. “Perhaps not. I’m more of a Mr. Knightley kind of man anyway.”

Emma’s eyebrows knitted in confusion as she tried to recall a Mr. Knightley character in Pride and Prejudice. When she came up short, she frowned at him.

“There isn’t a Mr. Knightley in Pride and Prejudice.”

“No, there isn’t. I’m afraid he’s in character in another one of Jane Austen’s works. The novel he’s in is probably my favorite of her books. I think we both have a lot in common, particularly in regard to women.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he happens to be in love with the titular character, a woman who is headstrong and a complete force of nature. Her name fits her perfectly.”

“Oh, what’s her name?”

He gave her a fond smile. “Emma.”

She almost hated how much her heart leapt in her chest when he said that. It didn’t seem to matter how many times he had expressed his feelings to her, every time felt new and sent a jolt through her system. It didn’t seem like a reaction that was going away anytime soon.

She leaned forward, giving him a brief kiss before pulling away and bumping his nose with hers.

“You’re a sap.”

“Perhaps, but I’m your sap,” he replied, squeezing her hand again. “And I think we’ve drifted dreadfully off course with our conversation in regards to swimming.”

She shook her head.

“It’s way too cold. It’s practically still ice. We had frost on the ground last week for Christ’s sake.”

“And as I said before, it’s too cold for a human but not for us.”

“And as I said before, we don’t know if I’m selkie enough for it.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.”

She studied him for a moment, taking in the earnest expression on his face before sighing and getting up from her chair. She stretched out her limbs, raising her arms and rolling her shoulders.

“Alright, fine, but if I freeze to death, I’m going to kill you.”

“Don’t worry, love, if you get too cold, I know more than a few ways to warm you up,” he replied with a leer, eyebrows dancing.

Emma gave him a whack on the shoulder in response, but the reproach in her actions was negated slightly by the small smile that was tugging at her lips.

It was while she was rummaging through the dresser that Emma realized that not once in her life had she owned a bathing suit. The revelation heightened her anxiety, another reminder that Emma had been completely separated from the ocean, from Killian’s world. She pulled on a sports bra and a pair of running shorts, hoping that they would suffice.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she opened the top drawer, revealing the pelts that had been left untouched since October. She ran her fingers through the fluffy white fur, relishing in the calm feeling it always seem to provide her whenever she felt stressed. She pulled it out, staring at it with mixture of fondness and dread. It would barely suffice as a shawl, let alone cover her entire body. She didn’t have a lot of optimism in that department. She sighed as she placed it in the beach bag she had pulled out of the closet. At least she would finally have answers.

She was worried about touching Killian’s pelt, remembering how he had reacted the last time he had caught her with it. Though it had been eight months since that incident, the look on his face when she had hesitated in returning it was still fresh in her mind.

“You gonna pack it up or what?” He called over her shoulder, causing her to jump.

She turned, fixing him with a glare.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Apologies, love, but you seemed to be taking a while to get ready,” he responded with a frown.

His eyes darted between the pelt in the drawer and the fear on her face. Emma watched as understanding seemed to dawn on him. He stepped forth, placing his hand and wrist on her shoulders, smoothing them down her arms.

“You can touch it,” he said quietly.

“I didn’t know if I was allowed,” she responded. “I’m still kinda new at this.”

“You’re more than allowed...it’s as much yours as it is mine.”

“I don’t want your pelt, Killian. It’s yours. I don’t know how to make it more clear that I don’t want to trap you.”

“And I don’t know how times I have to tell you that I love you and I’m not leaving you. You’re not trapping me. It’s just a gesture of trust. I trust you.”

“I don’t need it, okay?”

“Okay,”  he sighed, kissing her forehead. “Now, grab the damn pelt and let’s hit the water.”

They walked across the street, fingers interlocked and hands swinging between them. Emma paused as they got nearer to the shoreline, her eyes darting up the coast and towards the Gold house which still stood imperiously on the hill overlooking the street. There was no one there but she couldn’t help but shiver every time she saw it, thinking of the horror show basement and the jar of teeth on the mantle. The house technically now belonged to Gold’s estranged son but no one had heard anything from him since he had left the Vineyard and the radio silence had continued even after his father’s death.

She still had nightmares about the incident. Her dreams were plagued with shrill laughter and red ocean water. Even the discovery of Gold’s mangled body fifteen minutes away on South Beach near Katama had done little to assuage her fears. Only Killian’s presence beside her at night seemed to help - though still, every once in a while, she woke up screaming and they would both sit outside with hot chocolate and stare at the water.

Killian seemed to follow her line of thought, loosening her hold on his hand so that he could wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her close. He placed a kiss on her temple.

“Hey, he’s gone. He can’t hurt us, you know that.”

“I know,” she replied quietly. “I just want to burn the place to the ground though. I can’t look at it...without thinking of my parents...of Milah...of all the people he’s murdered and the selkies he’s skinned...He deserved a lot worse than he got.”

Killian flinched slightly at her words. He was still coming to grips with everything Gold had done in the past, as she was herself. They had spent more hours than they could count talking about the gravity of what he had done to them, to the people they loved. There was still a lot of anger and pain buried in them that they needed to work out but Emma hoped it would lessen with time.

“I don’t know, Swan, getting mauled to death by a shark is a selkie’s worst fear. I can’t think of a more fitting death aside from it being at one of our hands - well, in my case, hand.”

She was silent for a moment, choosing her words carefully.

“I’m glad.”

“About what?”

“I’m glad that it wasn’t us. I’m glad that we didn’t kill him because then his blood would be on our hands and we would have stooped to his level.”

“I think I’m going to disagree with you on that, love, and table it there. It’s not worth the argument. That man isn’t worth any more of our time than he’s already taken. Now, I’m going to teach you to swim.”

Emma reached to grab the pelts from her bag but Killian stopped her, placing his hand gently on her arm.

“I was thinking I would teach you the human way first. There’s no need to rush into this head on. Shifting form can be uncomfortable and I want you more comfortable in the water before we add to that…”

She nodded, dropping the beach bag on the sand and shifting around the beach towels to cover up the pelts. There wasn’t anyone on the beach but Emma felt more comfortable covering them, hidden from view should anyone walk by.

It was Killian who hesitated this time, just short of where the waves were gently lapping at the shore. His shoulders were tense and squared up, as if he was facing the enemy rather than the place he called home.  

“You okay?” she placed a hand between his shoulder blades.

“I…” he paused, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “I haven’t been in the water since it happened.”

Her heart clenched in sympathy and it was then that she realized that she wasn’t the only one anxious about this. Killian had frequently mentioned that getting caught by a shark was a nightmare scenario for a selkie and it was a nightmare he had barely survived. Emma had always figured that his reluctance in the past months to return to the ocean had been about his missing limb but now she realized it was only a part of it.

“Hey,” she murmured, smoothing her hand down his back. “I got you and you got me. We’re going to be okay.”

He laughed at this but Emma could hear some strain in it.

“Aye, I’ve seen your shark fighting skills up close and personal, Swan. If anyone’s going to save me from the finned devils, it’s you.”

“Exactly,” she grinned. “So what are you waiting for?”

The water was cold but not nearly as bad as she had been expecting and the longer she waded in the water, the more she got used to it. Killian gave her a smug grin as she followed him farther into the waves.

“Not too cold for you?”

“Yeah. It’s not too bad. What is it, like, 70 degrees?”

“I don’t know how your garbage American temperature systems works but it’s like 13 or 14 degrees celsius.”

Emma did the math quickly in her head, eyes widening in realization. She looked down at the water then back at his face in astonishment.

“Jesus Christ, so this is like 45-50 degree water we’re in! How are we not freezing?”

He laughed. “How many times do I have to tell you that selkies don’t work the same way humans do? Our bodies are designed for this. I’ve happily stayed in these waters during the winter when it’s much colder than this.”

“I guess I just didn’t expect it would be the same for me…”

“Hey,” he said softly. “What happened to you doesn’t make you any less, okay? You might have been out of the water for a long time but you were born one of us. You were always one of us...Now, want to see something else we can do that they can’t?”

“Ummm...sure?”

He laughed, head disappearing under the waves. She stared in confusion, not comprehending what he was doing. A few moments passed and nothing happened. His head broke the surface of the water and he gave her a frown.

“You were supposed to follow me…”

“Killian, I’m barely swimming as is, I don’t need to go under.”

“You’re fine and yes, you do.”

“Why?”

He gave an annoyed look. “Can you just trust me please?”

“Fine, fine,” she replied, rolling her eyes.

She closed her eyes, dunking her head under the waves. With her head submerged, it felt slightly warmer and she waited for something to happen. When something touched her face, she opened her eyes without meaning to.

Clear vision.

Emma had never stepped foot in a pond, lake, pool or any body of water to speak of but she was very much familiar with the fact that normal people generally couldn’t see that well in water and that old filmmakers had used wax paper to show that effect. She found no difference in vision between land and sea.

Killian smiled at her, pulling his hand away from her cheek and holding up three fingers. Slightly confused, she copied him. His smile widened as he brought up his pinkie and spread his middle and ring finger to make a Vulcan salute. Again, she followed suit. He did a few series of hand motions, each more complex than the last, changing it up every time she finally did each one. When she copied the last one, which was a simple cross of fingers, he moved forth to kiss her.

It wasn’t nearly as romantic as the movies made it seem, nose banging into hers, lips sliding awkwardly and teeth clacking when he pushed forth with a little too much effort. It was how Emma imagined kissing in space would be like - a cute idea but hard to maneuver in reality. It got better when he anchored his hand in her hair. It didn’t last long however, as Emma’s lungs practically screamed for air. She couldn’t help but laugh as she broke the surface.

“That...that was something!” She chuckled.

Killian tugged her closer, bringing her in for another kiss that was more successful than the last one and had more heat to it. She was constantly falling in love with the soft sound he made when she would nip at his bottom lip.

“You could see,” he murmured, smiling at her and resting his forehead against hers.

“I could,” she grinned.

“That’s good sign. Are you ready to try the pelt?”

“Honestly no but it’s better to do this now rather than speculate on it any further.”

It wasn’t until they reached that shore that Emma felt her nerves kick into overdrive, heart hammering in her chest and adrenaline coursing through her veins. Killian grabbed both of their pelts and handed hers over with a soft smile.

“Whatever happens, we are going to be okay,” he reminded her gently.

They dived back into the surf, swimming further out than where they had been last time. Killian spread his pelt in front until the head was facing in his direction. Emma followed suit, her pelt looking slightly larger in the water than it did on land.

“You’re going to want to press your foot in,” he said quietly, demonstrating.

Dubiously, Emma copied the motion, slipping her foot into her sealskin. She had expected resistance, as it was only the fraction of her size but amazingly enough it stretched to envelope her entire leg. She looked back at Killian in amazement. He merely chuckled in response but pushing his other leg in. She followed his demonstration, lifting the stretching skin over her  shoulders and finally her head.

A strange sensation to hold of her, bones shifting and clicking. It wasn’t painful so much as uncomfortable, shifting without her conscious thought. Her skin stung and she let out a small whimper, feeling like a thousand little needles were biting into her skin and sewing the pelt to her. Something wrapped itself around her, making comforting noises. She opened her eyes. A large seal was pressing its face against her, rubbing affectionately. She moved what she thought was her hand, only to realise her arm motion was limited. It took her a few seconds to realise she no longer had an arm but a flipper.

A flipper.

She was a seal.

Killian continued to circle her, nuzzling his head against her body and making small noises which she instinctively knew meant love and affection. As much as she returned his feelings, his constant circling was getting in the way of her learning to use her new limbs properly and she made an impatient nip at him. He seemed to get the message but only just barely, practically vibrating with excitement.

Moving in the water somehow was freer than walking on land and she revelled in maneuvering so effortless, letting out small trills of happiness. Never before in her life had she felt so free. Killian followed her, copying her movements and moving soft noises that were affectionate but different than his original message. It took Emma a few moments to figure out what he was communicating to her.

Welcome home.

Il Capodanno 2019

Hey, how’s life going on ?

New year eve in my life; nothing special thing happen except one year ago. It just different because I was on my exchange year in Italy so yeah I was so curious how’s new year eve there, in Italian they call il capodanno. So, I will say Buon Nuovo Anno that means Happy New Year!

It’s true if, in every part in the earth where we live in, each people has their own life. As a human being, we try to make a remarkable path right, and we’ll divide it in years. What’s your resolution and hopes in the year ahead?

January 1st, 2018 to January 1st, 2019 I lived in a bunch of emotions. I passed a roller coaster, there’s no stopping until the end of the day where I have to release my breath in the earth then change into a different kind of after life. I met new people, they all have a place in my heart. I learned so many life lessons. How’s exchange changed me in life. I learned how to look deep beneath my self. In life, it is how we’re grateful and makes every second of our breath meaningful with people surrounding us.

I can say, in each month I have a particular story to tell me my self (so I can reflect) or well to you too. One thing that I am still afraid of simple thing maybe on your eyes but not to me, or might be you’ll agree with me;

I’m still, I couldn’t open my exchange year diary, I miss about last month to write in it. It is how all emotions every single day in Italy I wrote in. But no, I am still afraid, damn! Well in the other side of Italy, here in Indonesia, couple days ago I decided to start to welcome one book as my diary. A pink book with particular indian icon was given to me by Alice Tormen. My Italian plus indian girl ahahaha. Written in the cover of the book,

“My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you when the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty, and peace within you. Because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one. LEGAMI – We are dreamers.”

Ahh, Alice, you’re more than just sweet amore. I do really miss you. The words are super duper marvelous right? It is like the voice of her heart. I do believe she wanted me to know that we’re still near and will always be her best friend even millions of kilometers desperate us physically. Ti voglio bene Alice.

By this short story, I am telling you a piece of my life that full of beautiful emotions and peace. Life is not always easy breezy as what Instagram feed says, those all emotions in past years and everything ahead, being thankful is the key to everything. There will always a bright side. May life lead your way to a better future!

Buon Nuovo Anno a tutti!

Khansa dormitory, January 1st, 2019

Ulima Nabila Adinta

title: the fools who dream

pairing: naruino; implied sasusaku

notes: wrote this as a birthday gift for myself. rewatched la la land and it made me..... Feel Things. this movie hurts so fucking much. that 7-minute What Could've Been sequence was one of the most emotionally taxing experiences of my life

also: naruto and la la land are not mine (i wish)

— 

here's to the ones who dream

foolish as they may seem

here's to the hearts that ache

here's to the mess we make

—

it starts at a wedding.

she; a struggling singer working on small gigs here and there, hoping to catch a break and make it big in the world someday, and

he; a clumsy busboy aspiring to be a successful chef and restaurateur one day.

they were dreamers. falling in love was not in their to do list, especially not on a mid-july day in the middle of a wedding they're not even invited to but are paid to attend to do their jobs. their hearts were too busy yearning for faraway dreams for it to start beating for another person.

but fall in love they did, anyway.

it was but a typical day. they were just meant to do their jobs, go back into the comfort of their apartments, drink booze, and watch whatever it is that's on the television until they fall asleep.

he did not plan to stumble about in the reception area, spill a few drinks, hear her singing, and ogle at her majestic form in the stage, clad in a lavender dress with her blonde hair let down to her waist that he imagines is as silky as the satin sheets on his bestfriends' apartment.

she did not expect to catch the eyes of a blond haired man with his shirt drenched with red wine, standing in the side of the ballroom looking like a lost boy, feeling like she's drifting as she falls into its ocean blue depths.

it was like straight out of a romance movie. there they stand, a few feet apart, eyes locked with each other, she was singing a love song, he looks like lovestruck fool and everything was suddenly on pause. everyone stopped dancing, bored looking aunts stopped asking for more drinks, the groomsmen frozen as they try to flirt with the bridesmaids.

it was only them, a love song, and a once upon a time with a promise of a happily ever after. a love story to tell their future children about.

—

it unfolds slowly at first. a few dates, flirting here and there, texting each other during work, holding hands, nighttime strolls towards ichiraku for dinner after her gig, plucked flowers for her from his apartment neighbor's plants, chaste kisses on the lips every night.

they exchange stories about their childhood, first dates gone wrong in the past, her favorite songs, his favorite food, funny anecdotes about his two bestfriends who finally got married after years of tiptoeing around each other, and why he likes the color orange so much.

he finds out how she came to be a broke singer from being a science major. she came to know he wanted to be a chef like his late father and how no one wanted to hire a college dropout with no prior work experience and who did not even go to a culinary school.

he learns that music is her soul and that she loves jazz, classical music and rock. she finds out he secretly likes taylor swift and beyonce even when he keeps insisting that he's a fan of the beatles and queen.

she tells him she will hold sold-out concerts one day and there will always be a seat in the front row reserved especially for him. he tells her he will own a restaurant one day and he will add her favorite food on the menu and name it after her.

they fall into her bed on a warm thursday night, where fixing her broken lightbulb in the bathroom, turned into a few teasing to a passionate make-out, and before they knew it, they're already bared of their clothes. they memorized each other's bodies with their hands, filled the room with sighs and words of tomorrow's promise, their names echoing in the night like a prayer. they filled each other's blank spaces, every touch felt like a fire burning through their skin, every kisses felt like what sinners go to church to. it was an unfamiliar dance yet they still manage to fall into step and meet each other halfway like they've been doing this all their lives.

they're a few steps away from love, but they're getting there anyway.

—

they begin to learn each other.

slowly, he took up space in her life. his jokes, his touches, boisterous laughters, the color orange, the taste of miso ramen, the calluses of his palms, and the stars in his eyes tucked into the lyrics of the love songs she wrote.

he gradually filled her heart the way his clothes slowly piled up on her sofa and ends up taking space in her closet. their toothbrush, an embarrassingly bright orange one and a soft lavender one rests inside a chipped giveaway mug. now there is a bottle of chocolate syrup beside the maple syrup, milk cartons taking the place where beer bottles once stood, vegetables replacing the unhealthy amount of bacon stocked in the fridge and her once empty cupboard were now filled with ingredients for ramen.

and if he could, he would write a volumes worth of books about how she makes him feel. but he can only tell jokes, let her take every one of his hoodie jackets, make her coffee in the morning and tea in the afternoons just the way she likes it, tuck her hair into her ear, sink into her as if his life depended on it, and touch her in places that elicits gasps and pants in a silent way of his that shouts i love you.

she adapts his weird mannerisms, he starts to mimic her slangs. he learns to cook her favorite food, she sings taylor swift songs that he will not admit he likes. he became her favorite audience in her nighttime gigs, she became his food taster even when he thinks her palate is as bland as noodles without sauce. he is now her muse and she, his favorite customer he serves his delightful dishes to every night.

he buys her a strawberry flavored ice cream and lots of tissues when she comes home from a failed audition. she attempts to cook spaghetti and meatballs for him after another failed job interview but always ends up making a mess in the kitchen which is okay because it makes him laugh.

they develop a habit and routine; she sleeps on the right side of the bed with her purple pillows, he on the left side with his orange ones. he will wake up at seven and start to cook breakfast because he will not allow her to live off on coffee alone throughout the whole day on his watch. she will wake up at eight, eat bacon and pancakes with him and kiss him goodbye when he leaves for work. a double date once a month with his brooding best friend and his charming and cheerful wife that she instantly gets along with. and they fight about ugly orange jackets and hair caught in the shower drain which follows intense hours of making love.

he's the housewife, she's the repairman. he washes the dishes, does the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning. she fixes the leaking pipes on their kitchen sink, repairs the broken chairs, and checks the cable. together, they go grocery shopping, grouts the kitchen and bathroom tiles, paints their room blue, and water the ugly plant he brought home with him one sunday afternoon. sometimes they forget to clean for weeks and leave the apartment like a dump site and that's okay.

holiday now involves a cheap boxed wine, pizza, ramen, monopoly board games, a very cheesy christmas movie playing on the tv, and dancing awkwardly on top of the upholstered brown couch they bought.

they loved each other on autumn afternoons in the pumpkin spice lattes they shared together, on winter mornings in the bundle of their scarves and coats, on summer evenings slicked with sweat and bodies moving together in a beautiful rhythm, and on spring dawns when he leaves a trail of kisses on her shoulders that makes her think that maybe it's gonna be like this forever.

in the small of her apartment, with paint peeling off the walls, scratched papers containing her sprawled handwritings flying everywhere, mugs with cold coffee on top her piano, and an ugly plant standing beside the ugly couch is where they found their home and their refuge. it is messy and small but in this place, she is the best singer songwriter in the world that has ever lived and he is a world renowned chef praised by every critics. in this place, their dreams are within reach and everything seems possible.

—

and this is how it falls apart:

reality starts to take a hold of their life. they are nearing their thirties and he realizes that part time jobs isn't going to cut it anymore. he accepts a job offer from an old friend for a work that pays more.

she gets an offer from a recording company in new york and for the first time, she is going to reject a chance to make it big in the world because she doesn't want to leave him. she doesn't tell him any of this.

like how they started, it unfolds slowly.

- dinners started to get cold.

- a series of apologies and excuses that only gets old.

- she loses her favorite audience in her nighttime gigs.

- mornings of waking up to the left side of the bed already made. cold nights of preparing to sleep with the left side of the bed still made.

- he loses his passion for cooking and starts to give up.

- she stops singing for him. the piano in the living room started to get dusty.

- arguments reserved for tomorrow because they're too exhausted to fight.

- waking up one day and not recognizing the person they share the bed with anymore. even the faces they see when they look into mirror is unfamiliar to them.

- a major fight breaking out one cold friday night.

- cold, harsh words coming out of their mouths. words they cannot take back.

- she finds herself writing songs about heartbreak one day.

- the food he cooks started to taste bitter in his mouth.

- their home started to get cramped with unresolved anger and untold secrets.

- "we're hurting each other, aren't we."

- "i'm sorry."

- "i'm sorry, too."

they were sandcastles, meant to stand beautifully after being built so carefully, but is always meant to be crushed in the end.

—

how unfortunate it is, he thinks, for things to end. to invest so much into something you believe would last knowing it fell apart with your own doing. to have a taste of something perfect only for it to slip away from your grasp in a blink of an eye.

how unfortunate it is, she thinks, for packed boxes, awkward voice messages, a wilting ugly plant, ripped off scratched papers, deleted numbers, habits to unlearn, regret for all the hurtful things said to one another, and her sitting on the floor wearing one of his shirts and trying not to miss him be the culmination of a year spent in love.

—

this is how they say goodbye:

they sit at a park bench near her apartment and watch the people going about in their lives for the day, not knowing that today marks the end of something beautiful.

he finds out about the offer she rejected and in his left hand is a plane ticket to new york. in his right hand is her hands and her heart. in his eyes are a million apologies and a promise of a love that is never going to fade away.

she thanks him for not giving up on her. in her smile is an assurance that it's okay. in the forehead kiss that lasted too long says that he is her great love. in the way she rests her head against his shoulder tells him that she will never forget.

and in their goodbyes are oaths of achieving their dreams no matter what the odds are.

—

it ends at a wedding.

she; a successful singer, millions of copies of her two albums already sold around the world, and is currently on a world tour, and

he; an owner of five-star restaurant, praised by various critics, and is always packed every night.

she sings at a wedding, this time not as a job she was paid to do, but as a gift to an old friend. and it is not just a typical day. today is a special december afternoon where they both see each other again for the first time in five years.

there is no accident in the way he turns his head and seeks her gaze. there she stands on the platform, clad in a velvet red gown, and still looking perfect as the first time he saw her six years ago. he feels the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders upon seeing the way she moves that he recognizes with familiarity and upon hearing a voice that used to make his heart sing.

as she starts to sing, she deliberately locks eyes with the man who captured her heart six years ago. there he sits on his assigned seat in front of the reception area, looking as handsome and ruffled as she remembered, and so different from the lost boy who once stood in one side of the dancefloor with his white shirt drenched with red wine.

this time, there were no pause. this time, the background and everyone around them started to fade. this time, time didn't stop for them but it moved backwards to some time six years ago and forward to a very different future. a past where nothing went wrong, where mistakes are easily fixed, and there were no words to take back. a future where they were the ones getting married in this very day.

hidden in the song she sings are a million alternate realities, a montage of what-ifs, echoes of what-could-have-beens, and the promise of a future long gone.

lost in the depths of each other's eyes, they can picture it. a story where there were no hurdles and obstacles to overcome. it starts on a mid-july day in the middle of a wedding, where everything is perfect and their dreams are not so far away. in this story, he didn't take his friend's job offer and she tells him about new york. in this story, their love only grew stronger and nothing kept them apart. she catches a big break and he goes with her and both of them achieved their dream together in another country. she holds sold out concerts at big stadiums, and there he is on the front row, on a seat reserved especially for him. featured in the restaurant he opened were his father's recipes and a weird pizza flavor named after her. the new apartment they moved to was bigger but just as messy and filled with love than ever. the ugly plant he bought was still alive and her cheap piano didn't gather dust. in this story, there were no habits to unlearn, no happy memories to regret, no cold nights to write sad songs about.

a story started with a wedding when they were still struggling dreamers and a story that ended with their wedding when they finally achieve their dreams and the only thing left for them to chase after was their happily ever after.

the song ends and they both come back to reality. and in this reality, it was another person who sits on the front row of her concerts instead of him. a different name and a different favorite food were written on the menu of his restaurant. and this is not their wedding.

this is his wedding.

this is nothing like a romance movie. this time it wasn't just the two of them in the scene. this time includes him and his bride sitting together with their hands clasped and looking all kinds of perfect, an engagement ring on her left hand that clasps the mic, and smiles from each other that says thank you for the wonderful journey they shared six years ago.

it was a once upon time gone wrong, but they did get their happy ending anyway.

it wasn't a love story. it was a story of passion and struggles and people you meet along the way that will always have a special place in your heart. 

a story to tell future dreamers about.

—

and here's to the fools who dream

crazy as they may seem

here's to the hearts that break

here's to the mess we make

— 

end

—   

(italicized words were from the lyrics of The Fools Who Dream from the movie La La Land sung by Emma Stone, written by Justin Hurwitz / Benj Pasek / Justin Noble Paul)

Across the Stars - Ch.1

Eyyoooo, first chapter of my TMNT fanfic :’) Now, what the fawck is going on? Welp, it’s a lil’ lovey-dovey story based on the 2014-2016 universe. The turtles are aged up to their mid 20′s.Aaannd it’s going to be rated mature (especially for language, anxiety/depression mentions, explicit stuff and future sex scenes yaasss). The main pairing is DonatelloXOC (self-insert). If you’re not a fan of that, it’s perfectly understandable and you may go on your merry way~. Writing this kind of stuff helps me with my own anxiety ( ´ ▽ ` )b  heh Also I want to apologize in advance for any errors I may make. My first language is French and sometimes my brain farts some nonsense. I always try to correct things as fast as I can though ! ANYWHOOORE, time for some reading ! Enjoy :) First Chapter --> You’re here mah precious Next Chapter --> HERE

Done. That was the only word that went through Vee's mind as she closed the apartment's door behind her, leaning into it with a long sigh. She was done with the day, done with her exhausting shift at work. Done with life. Hanging her black trench coat and removing her autumn boots, she wandered to the kitchen, finding the place void of any other presence. April O'Neil, her roomate, had been rather occupied with her job, being a reporter for Channel 6 no easy thing. Also Vee was noticing how the other woman was somehow avoiding her for an unknown reason... She shrugged, trying to chase the thoughts away, filling an electric kettle with water in order to prepare a cup of tea. As she was waiting for the water to boil, she stopped to a standing mirror, grabbing her long light brown hair so she could assemble them in a messy bun. She couldn't help noticing the dark circles under her green eyes, a clear sign of fatigue and stress. A new sigh escaped her lips as she pushed on her glasses, repositionning them to their rightful place. Ever since she moved in to New York city, six months ago, she felt like her spark was vanishing with each passing months. Coming from Montréal, Canada, to work and live here had been a big step in her life, but it had also been a dued change. Her initial thrill and thirst for adventure had fueled her, dreaming of the endless possibilities New York's creative scene could offer her... Alas, she was nothing more but a single raindrop in a massive ocean of artists just like her. Was her life reduced to the endless loop of eat-work-sleep? Indeed. And she despised it. Especially since her job consisted of folding clothes and being a cashier to bratty customers who would complain day and night about not finding the perfect size of jeans or t-shirt. So exciting!... At least it paid the bills and rent. Click Vee turned to the kettle, mindlessly pouring hot water in a cup and dropping a bag of green tea, next making her way towards her bedroom. The place wasn't too big, only offering enough space for her double size bed, a desk on which sat her laptop and, not too far, her prized electric piano, most practical when she needed to practice and would only need to plug in headphones so only she could hear the precious melodies. Vee was an artist in many forms. From music to drawing, with a side of writing, she have had the opportunity to lay her hands on many projects, also spending a good part of her past twenty-five years in schools and colleges, studying and mastering her creative side. Vee was a dreamer, her mind always up and running, never at peace. She had so many ideas and so little time... At some point she wished she could just puke them out of her brain, knowing it'd be way easier to sort them out. Instead, she had a wall filled with post-its, papers, anything that she could write on, filled with words, drawings, things that inspired her or wouldn't just leave her thoughts. That was her way of keeping a planner, knowing it'd be way too frustrating to flip through many pages of a book only to find THE idea she'd be looking for! Undressing so she could put on a large t-shirt and keep her legs free of any pants' restraint, she plopped on her chair, facing her desk and turned on her laptop, the screen's light blaring through her unamused, souless even, expression. Her fingers moved expertedly over her keyboard, typing in her password, next sipping her tea without care. Her thoughts slowly started to shift to a new subject. Him. She hoped he'd be online... A month or two before she departed from Montréal, she had started to notice the sudden interest of a new follower on her various online accounts. At first she didn’t mind, but soon both began to chat and discovered that they had many interests in common. They liked talking about science, sending eachothers stupid memes and simply going from serious conversations to hilarious ones. He said his name was Donatello. A bit of a pretentious name. It was certainly not his real one (or else his parents must have been total Renaissance nerds). And his username was no better: donino, a simple mix of his name and that domino pizza place. He liked pizza. URG. STUPID PUNS. Vee smiled when she noticed he was on, already opening a chatbox. (veelicious): Afbabshabvdfshdsbf (donino): Hi? (veelicious): My brain is trying to reboot. (donino): Long day I presume? (veelicious): HMMMRRR I wish I could land on a good job opportunity in my domain rather than hearing people complain about how they'll just go to another store only because we don't have an item that ran out of stock. (veelicious): I'm not even complaining. Go shop somewhere else, customer from hell. I won't miss your needy ass. (donino): Yikes! Sorry people can be such dickheads :( …. Have you tried looking for another place? I could help you search? (veelicious): You're sweet, Don, but you don't need to go into all that trouble for me. Don't worry, I'm always on the lookout for something else :) She always thought it was cute how he was always ready to help her. … Even though both were now living in the same city, they've never met. He would always give a reason to postpone any actual meeting and Vee couldn't help feeling hurt about that. They'd been chatting, both via text and voice, for a little bit more than half a year, developping a strong friendship …. Why would he deny seeing her? She suspected that he might be lying about living in the city, but on the other hand she couldn't believe that, the guy too truthful in nature. (donino): Is there anything I can do to help and make you feel better though? (veelicious): Yeah, what about a coffee date? She slapped her palm to her face, cursing herself. (donino): Vee idk... (veelicious): For fuck's sake Donnie, what could go wrong? I just want to get to know a new friendly face around here. (veelicious): I really enjoy talking to you. … April's been giving me the cold shoulder for some unknown reason, added to her being almost non-existent in this frickin' apartment. And now you just always come up with excuses. (veelicious): I may be a stupid introvert, but damn sometimes I just hate being alone. … I just want to talk. (donino): We can voice chat if you want. (veelicious): No Donnie. … I want to see you. I want to see your face, be able to put a picture over your name. I want to see you when you laugh. I want to see you smile. … Jfc, I don't bite. She took a long sip of her tea, her hands slightly shaking. She felt like she was confessing something, but deep down she just wanted to be able to hang out with someone other than herself, April or any stupid coworker... She got no answer for a good couple of minutes, knowing she had probably scared him. Ding Her eyes moved back to the screen. (donino): Tomorrow night. Come alone. Go on top of the building that's on the corner of 4th ave. and 12th st. (donino): … I know this sounds super creepy and weird as hell, but trust me, it's the only way. (donino): Oh and yeah, bring coffees :) Vee's eyes were now wide open, her heart suddenly beating hard. She was confused and excited, a large grin coming to her face. The request did sound off, but at least she FINALLY got a result. *** This september night felt chilly, the month nearing its end. Vee was glad to be holding the two cups of coffee, warming her hands. Wearing her black trench coat, she couldn't help snorting at the mental image of herself, dressed like some sort of hip business woman, walking fast with her coffees, ready to tackle any late work. HA! She wished. She found the place, a modest apartment building which had an emergency metal staircase to its side, Vee then going to it in order to reach the top. She found herself alone, gazing upon the nearby streets, sipping her cup from times to times and butteflies destroying her stomach due to stress. Why was she so anxious to meet him? The worst was probably that she had no idea what he looked like. He never described himself much, only stating that he wore glasses and was tall. At least that was a start? Vee was about to leave a cup down to check her phone that she heard a sound; someone clearing their throat to bring attention. She quickly turned towards the sound, noticing a form in the shadows. ''… Donnie?'' she asked. ''Uhm, yeah, hi.'' A large smile came on Vee's face, recognizing his voice. She proceeded to walk in his direction so she could hand him his cup, but was promptly stopped. ''Wait!'' his voice sounding slightly nervous. ''… This is hard for me, please, just stay where you are.'' Vee was confused but obeyed, her eyes trying to scan his form. He looked tall, easily over six feet! He seemed to be carrying some sort of gear- She heard him sigh, finally moving. The first word to come up in her mind was green. Then purple. Glasses. Golden eyes. Technology. Shell. Shell? Turtle?! They stood there, in complete silence, Donatello now immobile and in plain sight. He gulped, starting to feel anxious as he could only notice how wide Vee's eyes were now... ''Wow,'' she finally said. She walked to him, closing the distance. Donnie was tempted to fall back, but remained in place, his eyes never leaving the human. Vee handed him a cup, her hand slightly shaking, her gaze plunged in his. She felt his hand around hers, taking the cup, only then her mind was brought back to reality, trying to find words only to speak again: ''Is … is this why you never wanted to meet?'' she asked, now both her hands around her cup. The turtle swallowed hard again, trying to focus. ''Well, yeah!'' He finally frowned a little in disbelief, a hand going to his hip, trying to understand the situation. ''Wait,'' he puffed a little. ''No screaming? No fainting? Just 'wow'?'' Vee shrugged, unsure, taking a quick sip of coffee before commenting: ''Okay, let me say something else then. … Holy hell! There. Any better?'' A small laugh escaped her, mostly dued to stress, but she was quick to calm it, sighing. ''Look... I can't deny that I'm a bit scared right now, but I'm mostly curious. I mean, you're a walking, talking turtle person! Gee, that's not something you get to see everyday, at least for me.'' ''… You don't think I'm a monster?'' he asked shyly. ''Oh please, what now? Monster is a synonym for 'bad'? Am I supposed to be afraid senseless and run away? … As I'm aware, you're a good person.'' Donatello's fingers fiddled on his cup. ''… I- I don't know what to say,'' he mumbled. ''Vee, you're probably the first human to be kind when meeting me.'' The woman lifted her cup in a 'toast' gesture, a smirk on her lips. ''I'm your friend. If I were to scream and throw myself off this building in fear, that would make me a terrible one.'' Donnie clinked his cup to hers, a smile now on his face too. ''Glad that didn't happen then. I'll drink to that friendship.'' *** ''April, what the fuck?'' Vee said as soon as she entered the apartment and saw her roomate sitting on the couch, carelessly going through her phone. The brunette lifted her eyes: ''… Yes?'' Vee knew everything. Donatello had told her about how he knew April, how she'd be working with them – yes because there was a 'them' as in there were others like him! ''Why did you never tell me about Donatello being a freaking mutant turtle?'' April's body jolted back to life, sitting straight, her eyes wide open. ''Wait, how did you-'' ''I just met him,'' cut Vee, her hands resting on her hips, a deadpan, non amused look on her face. The reporter was at a loss for words, going through several emotions, trying to find the right words. ''… What, he actually met you? He told me he didn't want to.'' ''SEE! THIS! Why the secret? You knew I was talking to him. If he was so scared, why didn't he stop talking to me? What the fuck is going on?!'' April sighed, gesturing for Vee to come sit by her side. ''Vee, I'm sorry.'' She sounded sincere. ''Can you just understand that this situation was really … delicate? I can't just go around and tell people that I know some freakin' ninja turtles-'' ''Wait, ninjas?'' ''Yes, they're ninjas. Now don't interrupt me! … They've been living in secrecy for many years now and they come up at night to help around with justice and stuff. Their main goal around here is to protect the city.'' ''Wow, okay, so like some sort of super heroes?'' asked Vee, genuinely curious. ''Yes! Remember Shredder? The Technodrome? It's not Vern or the police that took care of all that, that was them! They run around, jumping and stuff and they fight back.... Usually they're very careful, but you had to fall upon the only one who's a real tech genius and probably spends more time on the internet than his brothers.'' She took Vee's hands, looking straight into her eyes. ''… How did you react when meeting him?'' ''I was surprised,'' answered the other with a small smile. ''I did not scream, although I was a bit scared, but I was just so happy to finally see him...'' ''Heh, lucky. First time I met them I fainted.'' *** (veelicious): I can't believe we actually met! (donino): Me too, to be honest. I was so nervous.... (veelicious): I'm really grateful that you went over your fear and showed yourself. … I have the feeling that I sounded selfish and mean last time we chatted and I'm so sorry. I didn't want to rush things like that... (donino): No! Actually, I'm glad you did. … You're a good person, Vee, and I guess I low-key knew that you would react the way you did when we met. I don't know how to explain it... … (veelicious): I want to meet you again. (donino): Same. (veelicious): April told me everything. … If you and your family are okay with it, we could meet up at your place? I'd be curious to see how it looks down there. April would come with me. (donino): Unless you have troubles with slight sewer odors, you're welcome here! I'll keep you up to date regarding the others though... (veelicious): Looking forward to it ;)