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viperwhispered · 1 month

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Too Little

Part three of Jamil (not) dealing with feels here we go. Jamil x reader, Jamil’s pov Previous parts: part one, part two

This was stupid.

Here he was, rolling around in bed, unable to sleep because thoughts of you filled his mind.

It had been futile of Jamil to think that he could simply brush your presence aside, that he could treat you like just another schoolmate and not let you consume his mind.

Not when every quiet moment had him reach for his phone in hopes of a new message from you.

Not when you kept on finding new ways to make his heart skip a beat every time he saw you.

Not when he missed you more acutely every time you weren’t there.

So, despite his best efforts, his mind treaded those same paths, time and again, occupied by all the parts of you. Your expressions, your mannerisms, your words, every single detail committed to his memory and played over and over.

He suspected that at this point he’d be able to recreate most of your expressions just from memory. Your voice, too, playing so clearly in his mind.

Not to even mention those oh so tantalizing what ifs, supplying him with even sweeter temptations than the confines of reality and memory could provide.

What it would feel like to touch you, to hold you, to kiss you, to-

No. No no no. He would not go there.

Jamil could feel the heat burning in his cheeks and he rolled over, groaning into his pillow.

This was ridiculous. Absolutely preposterous.

Yet, there was no getting out of it.

He wanted you.

He wanted more of you, so much more than what he had.

Because each taste of you left him craving more, each glimpse made him want to uncover everything there was to you.

Even the parts you might consider ugly, as sappy as that was.

What kind of people did you like, anyway?

Charming? Intelligent? Funny?

Rich and influential?

Did you even like guys? Or relationships in general?

Just the thought - relationship - made Jamil's cheeks burn even brighter, made his legs twitch under the covers.

Yet, somehow, it did not sound so bad.

To have you.

To be yours.

To know and be known.

He huffed and turned over onto his back.

As if his duties left room for something for himself, left enough of him to share with someone like that.

And would you like what you saw in him, anyway?

Yet, his excuses were beginning to sound more and more hollow.

After all, he was nothing if not resourceful, and so far you’d shown no signs of shying away, even as you dug your way deeper.

Jamil stared at the canopy over his bed with unseeing eyes.

He’d have to do something about this.

Because if he didn’t, he might just lose his mind.

But was the alternative any better? Could he even handle it? The full force of you, if - and it was a big if - you were to accept him.

Even now, when you looked at him in that particular way of yours… He never could hold your eyes for long when that happened. The softness and the warmth he saw were far too overwhelming, always forcing him to turn away lest he made a complete fool of himself.

If he were to have that, with the full force of affection intention behind it… How could he even bear it?

Like the other day… You’d found Jamil in the middle of his chores and dragged him away, his to-do list crumbling when you grabbed his hand and led him outside.

He was all too aware of how his protests had been half-hearted at best. How your sudden appearance, your touch had shut down every sensible part of him, leaving him unpleasantly raw.

And by the time he’d gathered himself, nearly convinced himself he had other things he should be doing instead, you were sharing ice creams outside Sam’s, to celebrate the first warm day of the year.

As if it wasn’t warm in Scarabia year round.

As if he hadn’t been too preoccupied by your happiness and enthusiasm to bring himself to heel.

Sometimes, it was all he could do not to be swept away by you, barely keeping his head above the surface.

So, what choice did he have but to act?

You’d made a home in his heart already, whether he asked for it or not.

All he could do was take control of what he could.

Eta: you can find part 4 here and part 5 / the final part here. Oh dear I'm starting to get tempted to write this from the reader's pov as well. Or maybe I'll just have to ramble about the thought process behind this at some point to get that out of my system. I also considered going to a more horny direction with this but decided to go with this kind of yearning in the end. But, if the horny version is of interest for y'all, maybe I can do that as an alternative / supplementary thing to this series, or some sort of a standalone at some point. Hope y'all enjoyed! One or two more parts are still to come. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @mazapanmiau @perilous-pasta @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, do let me know! Also feel free to specify if you only want tags for particular kinds of works (like sfw/nsfw for example).

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #also yes that ice cream bit is totally me projecting #guess the wip asks did nudge me to actually getting this to a publishable state #so it's not just crumbs you're getting of this anymore #and at this point it's been sitting as a wip quite a bit longer than I thought it would #especially considering its length #so I'm just glad to have this out #(I mean not like I'm holding myself to a strict schedule and I did travel for a few days and stuff)#(but this had been missing the final sit down for a little while now so I'm happy to have it done)#look forward to what's coming Jamil's way in the future installment(s) >:)#also hopefully the @s are working for y'all because they keep on wanting to misbehave on my end

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marcmorrigan · 3 months

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@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up

the best thing thats ever been mine

#tgcf #xie lian #feng xin #fenglian #fenglianweek24 #my art #full color #I SPENT SOOO LONG ON THIS ONE... like not long for me. fast for me! but compared to the other ones ive done for flw. long.#this has been a few weeks of work and im very happy with how it turned out! tried to be thoughtful about how i approached the colors #and i think it really paid off! theres SO MANY COLORS in the pants im so proud of all the fabric in this...#that white fabric has so. many colors. it makes me super happy #also some of the fallen petals make hearts. btw >:o)#idk if they translate well but feng xin has top surgery scars!!! theyre both trans but xie lian is a cultivator so. he just uses magic #i KNOW when he first learned transformation magic he like BOOKED IT to feng xin to show him like 'LOOK. FLAT!!!'#and little teenxin was like 'ummm 😳 yeah. flat'#ANYWAY!!! idk if they actually look like teens here... hopefully yes. xie lian does to me at least???#or at least he looks different from how i draw him as an 800smthng year old lol. but still like himself i think!!! i hope...#whatever. point is. do you remember we were sitting there by the water. you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of #the tags cut me off there. thats a good thing. IF YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW.#did you guys know i have headcanons about the type of tswift fans mu qing and xie lian would be. well now you know. I Have Thoughts #OKAY THATS ENOUGH TAGS I NEED TO ACTUALLY POST THIS. ILY MUAH TTYL

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stars-inthe-sky · 2 months

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#happy birthday to me!#i have a mostly quiet day of passover prep and a little work #and i am amusing myself by circulating this to the well-wishers i think will find it funny #so far two people have said they’re stealing the bit for the future #which hopefully means i am indeed hilarious #monty python #monty python and the holy grail #eta: boyfriend chuckled and asked if this was a tumblr thing #and was impressed when i said no i had thought of this myself #(i did!)#(it was a surprisingly difficult gif to find!)

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marclef · 7 months

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about to finally start work on the first part of the comic! but i made some nice-looking character sheets for them. (finally happy with how a couple of these guys look heh)

(if you have no idea who the heck eyhm is i've got a post on here here.)

#nearly there though! i've been figuring out a couple things but in the next day or two i should be started on the first part.#my art #pizza tower #pizza tower oc #still gonna be around 20 or so parts from the look of it. might've shortened it down a couple though #some of the parts might just be a bit longer than others. kinda hard figuring out how to separate a few places into neat little bits.#finally think i've got a good brick design down though. he needs to be Chonky. he's a big boy.#hopefully this should be fun though! it sounds kinda exciting to be doing this much work.#hey if i did art all of october then this shouldn't be too much harder. guess we'll see.#eyhm stuff #technically!

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keeperthemultiversemom · 2 months

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[insert text here]

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zutaranation · 4 months

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Hi🌻💜

Zutara × 37. Wanna dance

Zuko was standing in the corner, smiling softly as he watched his friends laugh and sway about in the glow of the sunset. For the first time in a very long time, he felt at peace. For now, he didn't have to think about the fact that he was just coronated as fire lord and the road that lied ahead. He could just be Zuko.

He took a sip of his tea, leaning against the wall as he watched Sokka overdramatically dip Suki back to the rhythm of the music his uncle was playing on his tsugi horn. Zuko shook his head, then looking back down at his teacup as he caught his own wavering reflection in an opaque-brown. For the first time in forever, he didn't completely hate what he saw.

"He's ridiculous, isn't he?" a voice popped out of nowhere, startling Zuko— his head shooting up from looking down at his teacup.

"Ridiculous and happy though, the both of them, so I guess that's what counts," Katara added with a smile, joining Zuko in leaning against the wall.

Zuko smiled, comforted by Katara's presence. She still had the pink peony he'd given her and put in her hair. She looked so beautiful in the sunset like this, dressed up in that pretty pale green. He blushed thinking about her, and hoped that she wouldn't notice.

"He better not hurt himself with that leg, hopping around like that," replied Zuko with a smirk, rolling the teacup around to watch the liquid swirl in the cup as a distraction from his fluttering heart.

"He probably will," Katara quipped, then flicked some water up above her hand. "Good thing I'm here this time."

Zuko moved his free hand over his own chest. If Katara had been with Sokka at that time… Zuko wouldn't be. The twists of fate were a funny thing to mull over.

Katara caught Zuko's gesture from the corner of her eye and placed her hand on his shoulder as the water she held fell. "I'm glad I wasn't though," Katara said with a smile, giving his upper arm a squeeze. "Sokka will be just fine."

"I know," said Zuko, smiling. "Everyone will be, thanks to you."

Katara smirked, nodding. She looked out at the scene before her. Her heart warmed seeing her friends so joyous— so safe. It was all she could ask for.

The only thing weighing her down was the glum look on Aang's face. She could tell he was trying to hide it, dancing with Toph and Momo, but he wasn't fully himself and she had herself to blame for that. But, she couldn't lead him on… kiss him back when she didn't feel the same. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.

Katara sighed, her eyes moving to Ty Lee and Mai who were dancing together. Ty Lee's head was resting peacefully on Mai's shoulder as they held each other close. She then looked to Zuko.

"Wanna dance?" asked Katara.

Zuko thought he'd drop his teacup he was so startled by Katara's seemingly sudden suggestion. "Dance? With me?"

"No, the teacup you've been nursing for an hour," she said in jest. "Yes, you!"

Zuko laughed lightly, blushing even harsher this time. He threw down the rest of the tea quickly and set aside the cup.

"I'm better than you'd think. They had us in dancing classes at the royal palace," teased Zuko, accepting her invitation.

"And, who ever said I thought you weren't a good dancer? I saw you and Aang back at the Air Temple," she joked.

Zuko pouted before playfully rolling his eyes as he stepped out to the balcony with their friends. Katara followed along, taking his breath away as her face illuminated in the full sun. He extended his hand for Katara to step into and when she did, it felt so natural he thought all his troubles would fall away then and there.

Katara easily melted into Zuko's arms, clasping his callused hand and letting her head rest on his chest. She was careful not to press against his bandages — the ones he had on account of saving her. The thought made her breath catch and she moved in even closer to him, snuggling her head against Zuko's shoulder.

She couldn't believe how close they'd become in this time. Now, she couldn't picture her life without him in it.

Just as the music slowed and the two forgot the world around them, Iroh leaned over, whispering so just Katara and Zuko could hear.

"I always told you… destiny is a funny thing… and I'd say it is all of our friend."

#zutara #zuko #katara #zutara fanfic #drabble #oop I'm a little rusty #and did not proofread #and wrote this in like 15 mins before work #so hopefully it's decent #went on a lil #but I hope you like!#thank you for the ask!!

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riveluart · 3 months

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What possesses people to interact with fan art of something they don't personally enjoy (whether it's a headcanon or a ship) to talk about how they don't like it or how it's "not canon"

Okay then why the fuck are you interacting with my silly art I did for fun

Make your own post asshole and stay out of the tag

This post inspired by the fucker who reblogged multiple art posts of mine I did for nejiten month to comment about how they don't "have a problem" with the ship they just "don't get why people ship it" and that gives them the right to talk about why people shouldn't ship it because they don't like it on a fucking fan art post

If you don't like it don't interact with it it's not that fucking hard

THEY DID THIS WITH MULTIPLE POSTS WHAT THE FUCK?!

#ally cat rambles #theyre blocked now because like what the fuck was that #like i just what the fuck #they were just silly little comics i did for a fandom event #i dont need some dick commenting about how they dont think the ship works on my art of said ship i did for fucking fun #like i wouldnt be surprised if they were like a kid but idk and regardless #i am very trigger happy with my block button so hope they get over being a loser who hates fun i will hopefully never see them again #this isnt the first time something like this has happened with naruto art #like someone did something like this with just a silly headcanon comic #but that was just a one off this person reblogged like three different posts with their annoying ass comments this felt like harassment #not art #anyway this is upsetting considering ive been having such a chill time posting silly fairy tail art

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years

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................ he

#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he #cats #EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he #I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video #s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted #for now though yeah.. just cats #The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a #sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist #who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb #and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left #undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth #So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects #so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on #this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on #them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain #organizes tasks sometimes lol #***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word #it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee #Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing #Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!

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rambling-prince-thoughts · 11 months

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there’s been a lot of discussion about logan and roman during the recent sanders sides episodes and for good reason. the two of them have been through so much, with The Sides Need a Nice Day showcasing that they really do deserve break after all the angst.

however, one character that’s also been facing heavy struggles throughout this time is patton. despite being the side that gets listened to most often by thomas, he hasn’t had the most optimal experiences in a while either, especially since the inclusion of janus and remus into the narrative and the events of selfishness vs selflessness.

this post will focus primarily on the events of Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts but will contain references to all the other episodes throughout.

a little background on patton shows us that he is who thomas tends to refer to in order to receive advice on how to be a good person. being the embodiment of morality, patton does seem to hold a standard for the concepts of “good” and “bad”. it’s a very rigid standard and if something doesn’t match accordingly, patton gets uncomfortable and tries to change it.

an obvious example of this would be patton’s reaction to remus in dwit. in a simplified, black and white sense, intrusive thoughts are bad. they’re harmful and the content of these thoughts is negative and unwanted so it makes sense that patton would want to relinquish remus’ hold on thomas immediately.

as a result, patton is also afraid of remus. during his introductory song, remus states that good and bad is “all made up nonsense” because even though he seems to be the “bad” creativity to roman’s “good” creativity, the line that separates both brothers isn’t as fine as it looks.

logan attempts to explain to thomas that life isn’t black and white and the contrast between roman and remus only appears because that’s how thomas visualises them in his mind. to thomas, roman is good because he encompasses the pleasant part of creativity, the part that’s socially acceptable.

on the other hand, remus is what thomas wants to avoid at all costs. therefore remus becomes bad. in the moments before logan’s explanation, patton insists that imagination is good and stresses that roman is creativity, not remus. he’s insistent on driving remus out of the conversation and away from thomas.

patton’s biggest fear is that thomas is a bad person and that he hasn’t accomplished his goal in trying to make thomas the good person he believes him to be. janus’ influence on thomas proved that thomas wasn’t naturally just good, and it created doubt in patton’s mind that was otherwise not there. he assumed thomas was, by all standards, a good person, and having that illusion shatter in front of him has him questioning not only thomas, but also his own actions.

now with the arrival of remus and thomas thinking unpleasant thoughts, that fear has reawakened. at the end of svs, patton did end up getting what he wanted: that thomas go to lee and mary lee’s wedding. he believed it was the best course of action and the most morally good course of action.

in fact, during this episode, logan reveals to everyone that it’s not remus who’s been hurting thomas and disrupting his schedules, but virgil and patton instead.

when patton disagrees with comparing thomas to jeffrey dahmer, he also refuses to set the bar at whether or not thomas has murdered someone, like jeffery dahmer had. but logan points out that patton, of all sides, should know that isn’t where the bar is.

as he goes onto explain, thomas’ upbringing has instilled a strong moral code in him as well as christian values. this explains why morality plays such a huge factor in thomas’ decision making and why he’s so reliant on patton to make his decisions. thomas thinks with his heart, not his head, to make the decisions that are best based on what’s good or bad rather than what’s efficient or rational.

in svs redux, when thomas laments on the fact that he could have just spoken to his friends about skipping their wedding to go to the callback instead, patton is still severely against that thought. skipping the wedding would logically have been the better decision for thomas- he might not get this opportunity again, and as logan mentioned, the wedding only offers thomas a potential spike in depression.

which it did. the only thing thomas got out of the whole situation was a new highscore in word crush and a sense of guilt and regret over everything that happened. not exactly the most ideal rewards for the sacrifice that he made to get there.

however patton tried to convince him that going to the wedding despite all the problems was a good idea because thomas was able to support his friends! it may not have been the rational choice but it was the good choice, the selfless choice. in patton’s world, altruism is purely good and selfishness is purely bad.

that’s why all the examples he gave in svs redux were curated so that thomas would have to make the altruistic choice or risk being a bad person.

now, patton isn’t in this for manipulative means. he is genuinely trying to help thomas given what he knows of situations. thomas’ dependence on him throughout the series has developed him into being an all knowing father figure, who needs to choose the right option so that thomas can do what he needs to without being a bad person. thomas fears being bad, which is why he hides away everything that makes him bad.

while i’m not qualified to talk about christianity or its religious teachings (as i’m not christian), it is interesting to note that patton being the father almost makes him the quintessential god figure.

the father, who thomas must listen to, who knows right from wrong, who decides whether thomas is a good or bad person based on his actions, and the one who can punish him for making the wrong choice. janus is the snake come to trick thomas into sinning, and remus is another dark side whose authority would cause thomas to act and think in ways that are considered wrong.

it’s not unlikely to assume that the reason that thomas’ creativity split in the first place was because morality dictated that there were pleasant and unpleasant thoughts and the distasteful thoughts were repressed and cast aside out of fear that thomas would be punished for having those thoughts.

even though patton didn’t intend it as punishment, him berating thomas all night and trying to force intrusive thoughts out of his mind was chastising. at the end of the episode, patton even stated that thomas had his “permission” to think those thoughts and thomas admitted that it did help to know that.

thomas needed permission from his moral side to be allowed to have intrusive thoughts. because up until then, patton didn’t realise that they were normal and okay to have. he was afraid that they made thomas an evil person simply because they were evil thoughts.

blaming patton for overreacting wouldn’t be right either, because ever since the first sanders sides video he’s been making a genuine effort to help thomas. he is misguided and rigid in his values but he isn’t malicious or deceptive. when logan said that virgil was the one who caused thomas to stay up all night, it didn’t surprise either patton or remus, given that virgil was anxiety and his reaction made sense.

but when logan said that it was also patton, remus seemed to be genuinely surprised and patton turned to look at logan with a stunned expression.

he couldn’t believe that he was the one who had been making thomas feel bad about himself, and moreover he hadn’t been listening to thomas when thomas insisted time and again that he didn’t like having these thoughts and that he wasn’t enticed by what remus was saying. this is patton realising that despite his best efforts, he was ultimately causing thomas to have persistent difficulties grappling with who he was and why he felt like he couldn’t be a good person.

in patton’s constant struggle to prove thomas’s goodness, he put thomas up on a pedestal that was impossible to escape because it required him to be as altruistic as patton assumed was the norm for a good person, even if that goal was unreasonable or for some reason unattainable.

our lord of the lies said it himself when he berated patton for misleading thomas.

as janus put it, patton wasn’t capable of misleading thomas. his intentions were sincere and he wanted to help thomas the way that he’s always helped him. but morality isn’t the same for adults as it is for children. when thomas was a child, things were easier. kids are more easily swayed by the effects of good and bad than adults are, simply because ethics for a child aren’t as nuanced as they can be for adults.

thomas depended on patton because according to him, patton has never steered him in the wrong direction and so he’s certain that for every decision, if he consults patton, he can end up making the right choice. that has worked for most of his life because as a kid, he made simple choices. ones that didn’t involve the level of critical thought that they now do.

so in trying to be that rock for thomas, patton has given himself the power to know and decide what he thinks is best by weighing the options as good or bad. it’s a terrible scale, but the only one he knows. so when thomas starts to listen more to suggestions from janus or roman where he might end up doing the wrong thing— such as lying to his friends about why he’s skipping the wedding— patton immediately puts his foot down. he won’t let thomas do that.

this isn’t helpful. while there is effort, it’s clear that this approach has been hurting thomas more than helping him. patton keeps trying to do the right thing but that’s only possible if thomas’ mental health is balanced but with everything that’s happened, thomas is hanging on by a thread and patton can’t see that.

the plane is already crashing. now is the time to take a step back and focus on himself.

even patton ended up having a crisis over what to do, which caused him to become lilypadton. he thought he had everything figured out. he thought he had all the answers. but he doesn’t. and this strikes him during a moment when logan (janus in disguise, but patton doesn’t know that) tells him that he’s forcing thomas to risk his own life and health for other people.

suddenly, patton doesn’t know what’s right. he just knows what he wants to be right. and thomas, who has depended on him all his life, is looking to him for help but he doesn’t trust patton as much as he used to anymore and patton lost his chance to make up for his knee jerk reactions in svs and dwit.

he crumbles under that pressure. he’s really pushing to make things right, and his principles conflict with that. like thomas, who in dwit couldn’t accept that he was having intrusive thoughts because his own principles stated that having these thoughts was bad, patton too wants to make everything better but he isn’t able to do that because there’s a disconnect between what he thinks is right and what is actually helpful to thomas.

patton looks to janus for help, because now it’s janus who’s giving the advice. thomas is listening to him. the plane crash was patton’s fault, but janus has pulled thomas out of the rubble.

he thinks he’s bad for thomas. he has tried his best to help, but none of it has worked. in the end, he was part of the problem. he apologised to thomas in svs for being dishonest, he apologised in dwit for his reactions and he has to apologise again in svs redux for lashing out and being too pushy. how many times can he say sorry before it loses meaning? how many times can he say sorry before he admits to himself that he’s just bad for thomas?

hopefully patton can figure out a balance between knowing what is right and helping thomas figure out what is best for him before the orange side is revealed to us, because as @rataticaisdreaming pointed out in one of my previous posts, if patton continues to disapprove of what he thinks is wrong, it might cause a remus 2.0 situation. especially if orange has influence over logan, and patton makes logan feel guilt over it.

overall, i do think patton has been making a steady improvement. his attempt to reconnect with logan and help him is sweet, and he really does fix his mistake when he figures out that he’s been rushing and needs to chill out. this isn’t the first time logan has told patton to chill. but it is the first that patton has listened to him and actively slowed down.

i have hope for patton. i always will.

#sanders sides #rambling prince thoughts #patton sanders #patton angst #sanders sides analysis #patton might have been a little too much #but he’s getting to a better place #and i am proud of him #hopefully now things can work out a little better #i love his little ‘i did it!’ at the end of his scenes with logan #truly shows that patton is trying #we love him for it <3

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