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theladyofdeath · 4 years

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Alone in the Ashes {20}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click > Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: More fluff? “But, Tara, that’s so out of character for you.” “But, Tara, what ever happened with Tamlin?” “TARA WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING SO WELL” solid questions......

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth. - Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“Show me!” Feyre called, yelling behind the velvet curtain. Mor was trying on bridesmaid dress after bridesmaid dress, giving Feyre her own personal runway show.

Which she deserved. She was the bride-to-be, after all.

“Alright, okay,” Mor muttered from inside of the dressing room. “This one has a low back and a high neckline. And, I must say, my ass looks fantastic.”

Feyre laughed but that laughter faded once Mor came out, because she was right - she looked stunning. It hugged her body without being too risque and the deep, lavender color suited her perfectly.

“I love that,” Feyre said, eyes wide. “It’s perfect. Even the color. That’s our color. That’s your dress. You’re getting that.”

“Am I?” Mor asked.

“Yes, and if you don’t, I’m kicking you out of the bridal party.”

Mor snorted. “Fine. I accept. Now, I’m making you try on dresses.”

“My sisters should be here,” Feyre said, just as she had every other time Mor had suggested otherwise.

“You don’t have to get one today,” Mor said. “Please? Just try on a few then we can go get lunch.”

“Fine,” Feyre groaned, hopping up from the couch she was sitting on.

The owner of the boutique came over and helped Feyre into a room before Mor, now changed into her shorts and tank top, went crazy, bringing her a handful of dresses.

“Take your time,” Mor called, closing the curtain behind her. “I’ll be sitting right out here, let me know if you need help.”

Feyre sighed, taking in the line up of dresses before her. At first, she slipped on a ballgown, but the moment she stepped out of the dressing room and looked into the mirror, she wanted to yank it off her body and burn it. Too puffy, too frilly. She felt like she was going to prom - been there, done that. She went through two more that even Mor had cringed at before setting her eyes on a slim fit, beaded gown with an open back and a low, sweetheart neckline. It had thin straps and a long, beautiful lace train.

Feyre slipped it on.

She stepped out of her dressing room and looked into the mirror.

Mor gasped, eyes lined with tears.

“Feyre,” she breathed.

“I know,” Feyre said, shaking her head. “Damn you, Mor! I was supposed to wait for my sisters!”

They both broke into a fit of laughter as Feyre admired the dress in the mirror. It was perfect. It was flawless. There was nothing about it that Feyre didn’t like.

Rhysand wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of her.

She was barely able to keep her hands off of herself.

It was just over her budget; but, she didn’t really care. She wouldn’t be telling Rhysand, who she scolded just the night before about ordering too many flowers - but, she didn’t really care. She would only ever have one wedding dress.

“How long will it take for this dress to come in if I ordered it today?” Feyre asked.

The owner went to a little computer where she typed away for a minute before saying, “Six months.”

All the breath left Feyre’s body.

But Mor wasn’t taking that shit.

“There isn’t any way it can get in sooner?” Mor asked. “Can she buy the one she has on and have it fitted? She’s getting married in October and that dress needs to be on her body when the day comes.”

The owner looked back and forth between Mor and Feyre.

Her lips thinned. “I will see what I can do.”

She went back to work on her computer as Mor snapped an endless string of pictures on her phone of Feyre in her dress, which she promised to send to Elain.

Five minutes later, Elain had sent a reply: G E T I T N O W

Amren’s replying text was similar: If she doesn’t get that dress I will break in after hours and steal it for her.

If Elain approved, it was a must.

If Amren was talking about breaking the law, it wasn’t unusual, but it was still a must.

The owner was still trying to figure out a way to get it in sooner, now speaking to someone on the phone in hushed tones.

Feyre looked in the mirror, again. It was beautiful. Stunning. She could imagine it, paired with a simple pair of heels and a long, simple veil. She could picture Rhysand’s face as she walked toward him in the dress. He would watch her with wide, teary eyes, and a small smile, full of utter adoration.

It was the dress.

Half an hour had passed before the owner rejoined them. The elderly woman sighed, as if all of her energy had been sucked away. “I can get it here in two months-”

Feyre heard nothing else because Mor had jumped up, off the couch, and was running to Feyre with her arms wide open. Laughing, Feyre let Mor embrace her, all while picturing her wedding day.

What a perfect day it would be.

~~~~~

Cassian had gone for a jog along the Sidra, listening to his hype playlist through his earbuds. It was a perfect Sunday afternoon. The sun was bright, high in the sky, not a cloud to be seen. The flowing waters of the Sidra were sparkling beside him.

Even Bryaxis had a little pep in his step, when usually he was trailing behind Cassian and whining after a mile.

They stopped near a little park where Cassian plopped down in the grass, Bryaxis beside him. After taking a drink from his water bottle, he squirted some into Bryaxis’ mouth, too, when his phone went off.

Nesta’s name popped up on his screen.

All of these movies you’re making me watch from the 80s are weird as fuck.

Cassian smiled at his screen before typing back, Which one are you watching now?

It was no secret that Cassian loved movies, so when Nesta asked for recommendations, he had given her a longass list and a giant stack from his personal collection. She had been living with Elain for about two weeks now, and was loving her sister’s company. Cassian hadn’t seen her much, though. He helped her move in, as he promised he would, but he was aware she needed space for now, and he was okay giving her that.

Didn’t keep them from having little text conversations nearly every day, though.

The Lost Boys, she sent back, with a little vampire emoji.

What?? Cassian texted. It’s a classic!

Oh, please, she replied. It’s obvious why you’re such a fan.

Bryaxis had climbed onto his owner’s lap and Cassian was scratching his head, between his ears, when he sent, And why is that?

It took her a minute to reply in which Cassian used to stretch out his long, sweaty legs.

Then the reply came: Bc you’re basically Michael

Cassian cocked his head to the side, even though she wasn’t around to see it. Untrue.

He could imagine her rolling her eyes. Especially when he got her text back. Long hair, motorcycle, thinks he’s hot as shit? Yeah, you’re Michael.

Cassian looked down at Bryaxis. “Nesta’s being mean, Ax.”

Bryaxis’s tail went wild at the mention of her name.

Cassian’s only reply was, I am hot as shit.

Nesta replied with the eye-rolling emoji.

Then, she sent, I’m almost done with the stack you gave me, and as weird as they may be, I wouldn’t mind if you brought me some more?

Before Cassian could reply, Nesta followed the text with, Maybe tomorrow? If you’re not busy after work.

Cassian looked back down to Bryaxis as he grinned. He didn’t know why he was grinning, felt ridiculous at grinning to himself and his dog in the middle of a crowded park, but he couldn’t stop that stupid little grin.

Sure. I’ll be over around 6?

Six gave him enough time to run home, shower, and grab another stack of DVDs she would surely be calling weird as fuck in no time.

Cassian finished stretching, did thirty sit-ups, and was back on his feet, Bryaxis’s leash in hand when Nesta replied: Perfect.

~~~~~

Elain looked at her phone, where she had set a timer.

It had only been fifteen seconds.

The bathroom was small, but she paced back and forth relentlessly. She had chugged half a gallon of water, Nesta watching her curiously as she did so, before excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

They had been watching some vampire movie from the 80s. Not exactly Elain’s thing. She was glad for any excuse that politely removed her from the room.

Even if said excuse was anxiety ridden.

Another glance at her phone.

Thirty seconds.

Her pacing continued, her fingers drumming wildly against her thighs.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing, right? I mean...Azriel would be great, of course, but it certainly wasn’t ideal. They had only been dating a few months, only began sleeping with each other the month before.

If it was true, it must have happened that first night, or one of the nights soon after.

It was too soon.

Elain’s anxiety shot through the roof.

She looked at her phone.

Forty-five seconds.

Two minutes felt like a lifetime when everything was on the line.

She was only a week late, but even when she was barely eating, her period had always remained normal - perfectly spaced out, returning like clockwork the third week of every month.

Her eyes met her phone.

One minute down.

One minute to go.

“It’s okay,” she breathed, shaking out her hands, as if that would somehow make the situation better. “It’s alright. Breathe.”

By the Cauldron, what if it was positive?

Would it really be okay?

Azriel would freak out, without a doubt.

He already had Mila. She couldn’t add more onto his plate.

She looked at her phone.

One minute, twenty seconds.

But he was so good with Mila. He would be an amazing father. So gentle and kind, so loving and passionate.

But would he want to have kids with Elain?

She imagined he hadn’t even thought about such a thing yet. Elain hadn’t even thought about it, not until she went eight days over her start day without her period.

For the Mother’s sake, they hadn’t even used the word love with one another yet.

Phone.

One minute, forty-seconds.

Elain couldn’t breathe. She slumped down to the floor, on top of the gray, fluffy rug, and closed her eyes.

In, out.

Don’t panic.

Panic doesn’t help.

But she couldn’t help it. Her eyes began to water, the tears trickling down her pale cheeks.

She suddenly had a feeling that everything was about to change. She was a woman. She knew her body. Either it had gone into shock with all the lifestyle changes she had made in the recent weeks, or this was all real.

Her timer went off, and her eyes shot open.

She took her phone off the counter and silenced the timer.

Then, with a shaky hand, she pulled the test off the counter.

Pregnant.

She read it twice, ten times, twenty times, that single word the only word she could think of.

She was pregnant.

Pregnant.

With child.

With Azriel’s child.

A fist pounded on the door, scaring Elain shitless. She swore, quietly, scrambling up from the floor.

“Hey, it’s Az. Nesta said you came upstairs. I assume you’re in there, since….well, you’re not anywhere else up here. Hope you don’t mind me coming by early. I dropped Mila off with Mor and Feyre to look for a flower girl dress. I was told I’m not allowed to see it before the wedding day, so...”

Elain took a deep breath, hoping her voice remained steady when she said, “Hey! Oh, I’m just...fixing my contacts.”

A pause. “Okay. I’ll go downstairs and wait with Nesta. I’ll catch the end of The Lost Boys.”

“Great,” Elain said, and her voice broke.

Azriel didn’t move from the other side of the door. She could see the shadows from his feet. “You okay? You sound upset.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” she promised him, although she obviously wasn’t. “Just a little emotional today.”

“Alright,” Azriel said, uncertainly. “Can I open the door?”

“I’m naked,” she blurted.

“While putting in contacts?” Azriel said, huffing a laugh. “Not that it’s anything I haven’t seen before.”

The doorknob turned, and Elain cursed herself for not locking the door.

She quickly hid the test stick behind her back as he came in.

He took one look at her red cheeks, her blurry eyes, and frowned. “Hey…”

She was frozen in place as he stepped toward her, as he took her face into his hands and wiped away her tears. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, and Azriel pulled her into his arms.

His body stilled.

He was taller than her by quite a bit, no doubt looking down as she planted her face into his chest.

Down at Elain’s hands, behind her back, gripping the test so hard that her knuckles were white.

Azriel reached around her and took it from her hands. He stepped back, looking down at it.

Pregnant.

He took a step back, studied it as if he wasn’t seeing it correctly.

His face was unreadable.

Elain’s hands flew over her mouth as she broke into a sob.

Azriel’s gaze jerked up, his eyes widened as she cried. “Hey, hey, no..”

He set the test down on the counter and pulled Elain into his arms. He held her tightly against him as she wept.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out, voice muffled against his shirt.

“About what?” he whispered. “You don’t have to apologize, El. Okay? Don’t apologize.”

She nodded, and when she looked up at him, his hazel eyes shone. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

He hesitated, his hands still rubbing her back. “I’m not….I’m in shock, I guess. But, I’m not….mad, Elain, I think you think I’m mad.”

She took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “I’m in shock, too.”

“Okay,” he breathed. “Well, that’s good.”

Elain laughed, softly. “How is that good?”

“Pretty sure shock is normal in these situations,” he said, quietly.

All the tension left Elain’s shoulders. “I’m scared.”

“About what?” he asked, voice low.

“All of it,” she said. “Carrying a child, birthing a child, and everything that comes after that. And you...Azriel…” Her words trailed off, but Azriel didn’t say anything. He watched her and waited, patiently. “You would be an amazing dad, Az, but I don’t want to trap you.”

His brows furrowed as he brushed her newly fallen tears away. “Is that what you think? That I would stay with you because you’re pregnant? Or, that I would even want to leave you in the first place?”

Elain looked down. She shrugged. She wasn’t sure what she thought, wasn’t sure how to sort her thoughts.

Azriel lifted her chin back up with his fingers. “Do you want to have this baby?”

It was the same question that Elain had stayed up the night before asking herself, over and over again. If it’s positive, do you want to keep it? Elain laid her palms flat against his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath. Although afraid, she felt completely confident when she answered, “Yes.”

Azriel smiled, tentatively, and nodded. “Then I’m going to be here, okay? You’re not trapping me, Elain. You couldn’t trap me if you tried. I know we’ve been together for a few months, and we’re still in that honeymoon stage, and I won’t pretend that I know what the future holds....But I do know that I love you.” He kissed her forehead. “And I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to do this, and it’s going to be okay, okay?”

Elain laid her palm against his cheek, brushing away the tear he had that fell. “You love me?”

She knew Azriel, knew he didn’t say things unless they were true. And, after talking with Mor, she knew Azriel had never said that word to another woman.

Azriel’s eyes softened. “I do. But, you don’t have to-”

“I love you, too,” she breathed, interrupting his modesty.

And it was true.

Yes, she had loved Graysen, but it was a false love. She loved the idea of Graysen, loved the life they had built, but it wasn’t true, Graysen had proven that in the end.

But with Azriel…

Azriel was truth, kindness, gentleness, passion, genuity, love. He was everything she needed for herself, all wrapped up into one, perfectly imperfect man.

And she loved that about him.

She loved him.

He smiled down at her, and it was one of those smiles that she had only seen a handful of times from him. His teeth showed, his eyes went bright, his plump lips curved upward. That smile...it was an image that Elain kept in her memory for her darkest of days.

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tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @starkovsnesta @redisriding @photofeesh

@mariamuses @tswaney17 @amaranthas-whore @awesomelena555

@danika-defendyr @rachaels14 @faequeenaelin @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn

@hashtolanashoba @poisonous00 @chemicha @samotita

@mynewdreamwasyou @humming-asong

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s @sensitiveillyrian

@my-fan-side @queen-of-glass @stars-falling

@ifangirlninja @sleeping-and-books @burritowithfeels

@morebooks-pls @kindofawalkingpoem

@sannelovesreading @empressnesrynfaliq

@halstudies @sleeping-and-books @alwayss-reading

@amren-courtofdreams @b00kworm

@wifeofchrishemsworth @booksstorm

@goldr0ses @blackjacks-donuts

@humanexile @over300books

@booksbooksbooksworld @starrynightsbooks

@girl-who-reads-the-books

@mis-lil-red

@shhhimreading03

@emilyrose111294

@negativenesta

@argentumstella

@itsme-malin

@flora-and-fae

@feyrethedarklady

@starryandbooks

@gingerglides @candid-confetti

@gloriouspaintercreatorbandit @iliketoasterstrudels

@6255igntm @moondancer-204

@littlehoneyybee @acourtofbookworms

@the-regal-warrior

@awkward-avocado-s @nightcourtcinnamonroll

@aelin-rowan-whitehorn @bamchickawowow

@julemmaes @itsme-malin

@regular-nessian-trash @made-of-stardust-and-wanderlust

@ugh-avila @awkward-avocado-s

@superspiritfestival @the-dark-swan @girlgotattitude448 @eversincebeirut

@midnightrose-reader @lord-douglas-the-third @thestarguidingyouhome

@empress-ofbloodshed @starkovsnesta @nickjgoodsell

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #sjm #fanfic #fanfiction #modern au #feysand #elriel #nessian #tacmc AITA #the end is coming

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we-always-hit-our-ass · 4 years

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Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder Pt. 2 (Eugene Roe x Reader)

Part 1

Requested by @wolfers-stuff: “Can you please make a part 2 for 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'?...”

Author’s Note: One last farewell fic for y’all before I disappear. I apologize if the pacing or writing is wack, I’ve been trying to revise it- I’m also sorry for makin’ you wait this long, it was not my intention to. I hope you still enjoy this 💕

Words: around 8.3k

Disclaimers/Warnings: Angst witha happy ending, mild cursing, ooc Gene(??), and longass writing

Italics means the past or a memory

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Taglist: @deldontplay, @thatsonefishyboi,@noneofurbusinez, @meteora-fc, @gutsandgloryhere, @hihosilvers, @basilonely, @floydtab, @wexhappyxfew, @sherlollydramoine, @meganthesunflower, @3milesup, @jamie506101, @sunflowerchuck, @softlieb, @k-websters, @punkgeekchic, @speirs-crazy-ass, @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant, @runtdrummer, @fromtheoldtimes, @liebegott, @tvserie-s-world

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Carentan was successfully captured but work was just beginning for Gene. Countless men were taken in and out of the building where the medics were treating them. While it was better than getting shot at, it was still a far cry from somebody’s idea of relaxing.

Eugene sat wearily as he took care of men after men, but the stream never really seemed to stop. As much as Genie cared about the boys, a break would’ve been well appreciated by the medic. Chatter and the work kept Gene busy and soon his mind was focused on nothing other than what was in front of him.

That was probably why Eugene was so spooked when he heard a few light taps on the wooden frame behind him. A familiar light chuckle reached his ears and he turned around to see you with a smug smile carved on your lips. The cramped building felt just a bit more tolerable ever since you made your way to Eugene.

The tension that built up in Eugene’s soldiers dissipated faster the longer you were near him. Your presence was a blessing, and he stood by that statement. However, Eugene couldn’t help but slightly frown as he looked at the numerous men who still had to get treated. Carentan really did do a number on them, huh?

“As much as I want you by my side at all times, apparently being in a war doesn’t allow us to. I promise I’ll make it up to you, mon ange.”

Eugene’s reply held hints of disappointment and he directed his thumb towards his supplies and the men waiting to be treated. Yet you came closer and looked around the room before pressing an inconspicuous peck on his cheek. You leaned back to take in the slight red flush on Eugene’s cheeks before quickly crossing your arms.

“That’s what I came here for, Genie, y’know I will always try to make things a little bit easier for you.”

“If you’re saying you’re gonna help me patch all these boys up, be my guest.” Eugene lightly joked, shining blue eyes lighting up as he focused on your small grin.

“I thought you were just an ordinary paratrooper.”

“Genie, y’know I am, I just came here to tell you that one of the medics in Dog Company offered to help us. You’re working yourself out, take a break. I think you of all people need one.”

Eugene couldn’t help but let out a soft, relieved sigh as he leaned back. You let out a chuckle as you helped him up from his seat and you could already see his tired and worn out eyes brightening up just ever so slightly.

The two of you maneuvered your way through the building, finally making it out to the bright day. It was no surprise to say that you two spent the day laying soft kisses on each other’s skin, holding each other comfortingly in the secure enclosure of each other’s arms.

---------------

Eugene frustratingly ran his hands through his black hair, his brows furrowed and teeth clenched as another memory of you ran through his mind.

He hated to admit it, he really did but it was no secret that all hope was gone after the first week of you being missing. It was then that they knew that the world had lost an angel on that day. Eugene would’ve never allowed himself to think of that just a few days ago. Everyone had seemed to have moved on, everyone else except him.

No one actually knew if you were dead, yes, but the idea of you returning became more far-fetched as the hours dragged on into days. Eugene had always used to cling onto the small string of hope that you would come back to them. But now Eugene couldn’t help but let that hope slip through his fingers and fall into the never-ending loop of despair.

The Cajun man would tell himself that he would soon get over it for it was just another aspect of war. The scars never really healed properly though, and once again Gene would find himself quietly lamenting on prior events in the dead of night.

Of course, he stopped that habit and learned how to choke it back down but still... It still hurt so, so, so much.

After his little dispute with Cobb, Eugene distanced himself from the company more than ever before. Many attempts were brought to bring back the Eugene Roe they once knew. The lone and quiet medic who still kept to himself but also the one who still shared a few smiles and laughs with them.

But as soon as they saw the lost and void look of the medic, all attempts would be forgotten. Then all the men could do was offer a few words of comfort before slowly walking away to leave Eugene to his thoughts.

While he wasn’t very vocal, everyone knew what was running through his head. The young man bottled all of his emotions up, and even with a brief mentioning of your name, he felt like all of his feelings would just combust and burst out of him.

Days bled into each other and it was all but a cycle of the same thing. Eugene couldn’t be described as nothing more than a hollow shell of his former self. He could’ve been a stone statue for all that he knew. As much as he tried to steer his thoughts of your well-being, it was inevitable that maybe some thoughts would slip by.

If you were actually dead… Was it quick? Slow? Somehow peaceful? Though Eugene particularly disliked those ones, he would do anything for just a hint of closure. It was all too much to bear and it wasn’t long before his heart became so heavy that his chest would cave in.

Eugene would then quickly drift towards never ending questions if you did make it out. Hypothetical thoughts and scenarios played through his head in a loop.

If you were somehow alive, then why was it taking you so long to get back to them? If you came back, what would be the first thing you would do? Would you cry, hug the person closest to you, crack those jokes of yours, or would you take your time to look for him? Perhaps pull him into your embrace, or maybe even kiss him—

And that’s when he would stop himself. Eugene knew that if he continued to think of it, he knew it would just break him more if he ever found out that you were taken away from them.

You were a beautiful flower, the flower that he could admire and the flower that gave him happiness. Your vibrant petals and graceful stem flowing ever so gently in the wind. Yet you were plucked from the ground right before his eyes. His beautiful flower, his ange.

The love of his life reduced to nothing but a mere memory— a dream that will never come true.

Before he knew it, faint footsteps were heard as somebody approached him. Eugene didn’t look up as he continued to let thoughts swarm his head, occupying the vacant space.

He could feel someone sitting beside him and he ever so slightly scooted away. It was only until he heard a familiar voice ring out in his ear did he look up.

“Gene?” Babe’s concerned face was evident but Eugene’s cold indifference was more.

Eugene stared at the Philly man for a few more seconds before glancing back down, his back hunched over with his hands intertwined.

“Gene… How— How are you, buddy?”

“Things could be worse,” Eugene responded curtly and Babe’s eyebrows furrowed more.

He knew what Eugene was thinking about. He was also one of the very few who could talk about you to him without getting the cold shoulder.

“Everyone’s worried about you, Gene. Can’t you see that?” Eugene only offered a small glance at his friend before turning his eyes back to the snow-covered ground.

He could feel Babe scooting closer and hear his soft, exasperated sighs. Eugene lifted up his head to give him an empty stare, as if to say for him to continue. Babe leaned his head back as he fiddled with his thumbs.

“What is it—”

“We’re really trying our best, Gene. Y’know… To make you slightly okay. It ain’t much, but you have to understand that we don’t want you... We don’t want you like this anymore.” Babe continued, lightly motioning his frigid hands toward Gene’s form. Eugene stayed silent once more and the air grew stale.

No one was around, and the sounds of Babe’s words were only amplified by the empty space. Eugene couldn’t find a response for Babe, how could he? Everything was just hard, even when they shouldn’t be. For now, it was all just too much for the Cajun medic.

“I know, Heffron.” It was all he could say to him at this moment.

“Well.. I’m glad that you do. But… For now—” Babe offered Eugene a hurried glance as he leaned his head back more.

Words were stuck in his throat and he couldn’t find it in his heart to say them to Eugene. But he needed to. And so he continued.

“Genie— I think… I think it’s best if you… Just— Forget about her for now—”

“No.”

He responded immediately. Eugene looked hard into the pleading eyes of Babe, and his face hardened for just a second before it softened once more.

“But Gene—”

“No…”

It was softer this time, almost like a leaf falling to the earth below— yet however Eugene’s husky voice held intensity. Babe didn’t even know if he heard it, but it was clear that Eugene did. The medic shook his head slightly and his vacant stare was replaced by a look that could be described as longing and miserable.

Babe got the memo and slowly got up from his spot. He offered a comforting hand on Eugene’s shoulder but Eugene didn’t mind one bit. Babe stood silently beside Eugene, offering slight comfort to the Cajun man. Babe stepped back slowly and made his way back to the main building.

He offered one last look to the unmoving figure of his friend before reluctantly continuing on his path. The loud crunching of snow that once occupied the space faded away with each second. It wasn’t long before it turned silent, and Eugene was left to his thoughts once more.

Eugene remembered a time where when he still thought of you, butterflies and warmth filled his stomach and a bashful smile would replace his previous expression.

But now those butterflies were replaced by a sharp feeling of agony. No longer the warm and comforting feeling he once knew when his mind drifted towards you, but rather a deep, overwhelming feeling of despair that stayed forever in the pit of his stomach.

The thin lines of his lips would turn down every time it happened. He couldn’t even breathe at this point, taking deep breaths in hopes to recover, but it never worked. If he could, Eugene would’ve already screamed out all his worries and pain until his vocal chords were raw.

The decrepit stone buildings made him trapped and the frigid atmosphere of Haguenau didn’t help him at all. But Eugene knew that it wasn’t the weather that was the problem. More or less, it just contributed to an already hopeless morning, afternoon, evening, or night. The days were gloomy and held no life and Eugene associated most of it to your disappearance.

Eugene felt at bliss whenever he was with you, for you were his small beacon of joy during all of this. You made everything more tolerable and happy that it actually was. No matter how grim the situation, your mere presence made everyone’s days brighter.

But Eugene lost the one thing that kept him going, and he couldn’t do anything about it other than shove past it or dwell on it a bit longer. He didn’t like either options.

Eugene really had no clue as to how he’s still holding on. For someone who was realistic and almost pessimistic at times, Eugene couldn’t bear letting the thought of you returning go. As impossible as it seemed now to everybody, Eugene never let that thought falter too much. And though Eugene hated it when a memory of you ran through his head, he made an effort to not forget those either.

It was really one of the few things that you left behind.

But now only constant flashes of memories occupied where you once were. Though he loved the silence with all of his heart, it now only served as a constant reminder that you weren’t there with him. It festered in his stomach restlessly and anything and everything reminded him of your absence.

But of course Eugene still loved you, his love for you was all but forgotten. It’s just… Almost funny how the world still manages to continue. Eugene didn’t even think that was possible, how it goes on and all.

Even when you were gone. Eugene thought of Babe’s words and he told himself countless times that for once he should listen to him.

He just… He just couldn’t. But you—the person who always kept her head up during hard times— would’ve wanted him to move on.

You wouldn’t want him looking like this. Eugene could almost hear your concerned words and jokes that always cheered him up. He couldn’t help but crack a tight smile as he wondered at what could have been. Just when he’d thought this war couldn’t become worse, it did.

Eugene reminisced about the times he called you ‘mon ange’, the loving term of endearment taking another meaning.

He was too immersed that he couldn’t hear the footsteps coming towards him. Before he could delve any deeper in his speculations, Babe’s voice stops him. Eugene could see Babe’s figure just a couple steps away. The redhead’s face was still concerned and he waited idly before speaking.

“Let’s go, Gene.. Come inside, will ya?” Babe called out to him.

“Yeah.. Coming.”

Eugene sat in the same spot for just a few moments before he stood up. He looked back on what Babe said, maybe, just maybe— he’ll try to move on. Eugene couldn’t fathom the loss, as morbid as it was, he’d trade 10 men just to bring you back. God had other plans and Eugene wanted to scream at him for taking you too soon.

Why? Why? Why...?

------------------

It was one of those days where you and the company had time to rest and to say that you were overjoyed was an understatement. Settling on a spot that was private but still near, you and the Cajun man immediately loosened up. As the medic almost let his eyes close, you nudged him gently on the shoulder.

Eugene let out a questioning groan and as he slowly opened his eyes. Eugene’s eyes were met with you fumbling with the inside of your jacket. You were rummaging through it, looking for a certain something that might cheer him up.

Before Eugene knew it, you pulled out a chocolate bar, one that was surprisingly unbroken on smushed in any way. Eugene looked at you in amusement as his eyes glanced quickly between the bar and your closed eye grin.

“Look what I got, Genie! I found a candy shop nearby, thankfully no one managed to blast it— And I may or may not have snuck in and gotten a few bars.”

A mischievous glint flashed in your eyes as you offered Genie one of your many cheeky smiles.

“I gave some to the boys to share but I’m keeping the rest of it for us two. Genie— you have no idea how long it took me to find you so I could get you one of these. So you better be thankful.”

You scooted closer to him and you gently unwrapped the chocolate from its wrapper. You tenderly leaned on his shoulder and you can feel him lean his head on yours. You offered a broken piece out to him and he gladly took it.

Disbelief flashed across his face but it was washed away as soon as he once again laid eyes of your radiant face. Eugene gave you another small smile before popping the chocolate in his mouth.

After finishing the piece, the amused smile he had before slowly made its way to his face again.

“After all of this, instead of checking in on yourself, you went into a candy shop to get us chocolate?”

A light teasing tone with the tiniest hints of concern coated his words and you gave him nothing but a glance. Eugene let out a breathy chuckle that was only accented by his husky voice and familiar accent. You really couldn’t help but let out one of your own chuckles while your face heated up. You then broke off another piece and handed it over to the medic.

“I have my ways— And stop with the questions, just enjoy your chocolate, will you?” You replied, shoving more pieces of chocolate to him.

Eugene offered you one last glance and smile before looking forward and relishing in the sweet moment you two shared.

--------------

You didn’t know how long you were traveling, but it was obviously more than a couple of days. You lost a basic concept of time and all you focused on was how to get back to Easy. The snow made everything harder and you could’ve sworn you were already dead. The amount of times you almost got captured or shot were too many to count.

For now, you were just slowly relying on luck.

But you needed to get back to them, you desperately needed to. No matter how long it’ll take or how hard it’s going to be, you were determined to finally see them.

To see the boys. To see him. In times where you almost gave up, Eugene popped up into your mind. It was only then that you found the strength to keep traveling.

The crushing of the snow grew redundant and it wasn’t long before you grew sick of it. Your only support was the trees but you had already lost feeling in your limbs a long time ago.

Small fires were made during the night but they never lasted long. You got used to the biting air of the forest but of course you would do anything to get out of it.

It took a long time to get the Germans off your tail and it was even harder staying low. The instance of you falling into a hidden German foxhole still left you in disbelief and in shock. You luckily weren’t hurt and most of the injuries you sustained were minor and didn’t need any serious maintenance.

The forest was a maze; it was a wonder that you managed to make it out. But at least you’d die of hypothermia or starvation instead of a bullet wound. Either way, you still had to find Easy.

It’d felt so long since you were separated from them in Bastogne— waking up trapped in somebody else’s foxhole and only getting out to see that all of them were gone.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and you took a coat from a German you killed a few days ago. As much as it disgusted you that you were wearing one of your enemy’s clothes, it did keep you warm. So you sucked it up and put it over the coat you wore since you came into this icy hellscape.

You took shelter in the destroyed towns nearby, and you knew you’d find them soon. It’s been so long already and knowing them they were probably already done with their mission in Foy. From what you could remember, Haguenau was the next spot. Based on the map you stole a long time ago, you were pretty darn close.

If the cold wasn’t going to drive you mad then this certainly will. It wasn’t long before the sun set and night fell over the destroyed town. After finding shelter in a broken house, you immediately went to work on a small fire on the floor. The tiny pile of branches you gathered lit up into flames and a long sigh of exasperation fell from your lips.

“Holy shit— Finally…”

You brought your numb hands close to the fire and for once you actually felt warm. Maybe this time you wouldn’t have to put this fire out, maybe this time you can finally fall asleep for more than 3 hours. You continued to hold your hands close to the flames as you looked around your surroundings, flinching at every sound.

Sleep caught up to you though and you could ever so slightly feel the heavy lids of your eyes drooping, your cumbersome body slumped down against the long and your cold fingers gripped onto the fabric of your coat. You huddled closer into the little warmth that you have and your tense body relaxed.

Though where you lied was all but comfortable you couldn’t help your eyes from closing and your whole body from succumbing into sleep.

Not even a few hours later, your tired eyes open up and get used to the building around you. It wasn’t even morning, and the crack of dawn was just peeking around the corner. You let out a few grumbles into the silence and you huff, white puffs of air forming in the cold air.

The floorboards creaked as you stood up before centering yourself on the hardwood floor beneath you. The small fire was long extinguished and the burnt remains stayed on the floor. Your feet ached as if trying to get you back to settle down, even for just a few moments.

Overwhelming urges to go back to the broken down house bounced to and fro in your mind. But the strong desire to once again lay your eyes upon the company which you called family swiftly took over. A new surge of motivation flourished through you and the numbing ache you felt was soon nothing but washed out.

The cold air was just as overbearing and the chattering of your teeth was the only thing that your ears could pick up. It was slightly dark, and the sun just barely peaked over the horizon, and you longed for its rays to shine upon your frigid form. You could only long for so much though, so you chucked the thought away and carried on.

Large destroyed buildings loomed over you, and the soon to be bright sky made everything seem ominous. You brought your shivering arms to wrap around yourself, trying to take in as much warmth your cold body could offer.

Everything had a purpose in life, but you still don’t understand why life decided to fuck you up this much.

All you wanted to be back in Eugene’s arms, to hear his comforting voice, and to run your hands through his dark hair once more. You’ll do it. For him you’ll make it. Just for him to take you up in his embrace. That thought was more than enough to push you. You were so, so close. You could make it. You knew you could.

Each step was worth it and before you knew it the sun rose, the bright rays just peeking ever so slightly beyond the dead trees. This might be the only time that you’re the only one moving in the vicinity. If it weren’t for you chattering your teeth and not feeling anything in your body, this walk might’ve actually been calming.

If you planned correctly and only took a few breaks that are about 2 hours maximum, you could make it to Haguenau in the afternoon. You’ll finally see the boys and be reunited with Easy after being separated from them for more than a week. The thought filled you with warmth no coat or sun could ever give you.

But fucking damn the snow. It made everything harder than it needed to be. It was only two miles but yet the snow made it seem like 200. Hours went by and you took as little breaks as possible. Laying down on the snow with your back on a tree as you tried to reclaim your lost breath.

Things were serene almost. And by that you meant at least you weren’t getting shot at and trees weren’t exploding all around you.

Then you saw it— the ever so faint outline of what looked to be a small town. This was it, you thought. It was right there, just out of your reach. Your slow steps from before grew more frantic as you neared the grey looking town. You shrugged off your coat, you knew they would start blasting if they thought you were a German soldier.

The coat dropped limply to the snowy floor and your (E/C) picked up a few figures along the edge. It was so blurry, why was it so fucking blurry?

Shivering and huffing, you whispered words of encouragement to yourself, “Come on, come on. You’re almost there... You can make it...”

The two men you saw raised up their rifles to take aim at you, yet you couldn’t bring the strength to raise the icicles you called arms. Instead you kept shuffling forward. Your movement was sluggish and your coordination wasn’t the best at the moment, but you plowed on.

The figures held their ground and with each passing second, the cold wasn’t bothering you— it was the fear that you’ll get shot by your own friends.

Shoving the thought away, you instead focused on the town— no matter how blurry it was. Your knees and legs almost gave out beneath you, yet you somehow still found the willpower to hold yourself up. The soldiers gave each other a look as their eyes focused on your form.

Babe’s breath hitched as he recognized you. He immediately lowered down his weapon and threw his fellow paratrooper a wide-eyed look.

Your knees and legs almost gave out beneath you, yet you somehow still found the strength to hold yourself up. The soldiers gave each other a look as their eyes focused on your form.

Babe’s breath hitched as he recognized you. He immediately lowered down his weapon and threw his fellow paratrooper a wide-eyed look.

“Jesus Christ, lower your fucking gun, Lieb— It’s (Y/N)... It’s (Y/N)!” Heffron yelled vehemently into his friend’s ear.

Liebgott also dropped his gun, he squinted his eyes at you and his jaw grew slack. He was left in shock and all sorts of emotions shone throughout his face in the matter of mere seconds. A look was shared between the two men. After a brief moment of standing still to take the moment in, they broke out into a sprint.

Your body collapsed into them as they reached you, their two arms hoisting you up as you could only pick out a few words. (E/C) eyes grew weary and tired, and you simply let fatigue take over your being.

Liebgott and Babe grew increasingly worried and it wasn’t long before they panicked. They shook you hard and your chin was tilted up to meet their faces.

“She’s freezing—”

“Yeah no shit, Babe. C’mon we need to get her back into town and get her to Roe—”

Everything was fading but your chapped lips stretched into a faint grin. You could faintly see their faces, and you have never been any happier to see a person this much. Babe’s hand cradled your head as they slowly brought you up. Liebgott carried your limp body and brought one of your arms to hang over his neck.

The two men hurried so fast into the town and you couldn’t pick up anything other than fragments of sentences. Your eyes drooped and your teeth chattered unbelievably hard. Your head was pounding and everything was just a cacophony of various sounds, nothing made sense.

“She— passing out—”

“—here the— is Roe— Bring h— over here—”

Roe… You recognized that name. Genie, your Genie— Everything was such a blur, it was all chaos in your mind. But you’re here, and you’ll get to meet Eugene after how long. It was worth the wait, you’re going to finally see him.

Whatever was going on didn’t matter anymore and you tuned out the distant shouts and ruckus. Your eyes fluttered shut and your expression was nothing but content, after all, you had a certain Cajun man in your mind. The whole world went black and you inevitably passed out in the arms of Liebgott.

-------------

Everyone in Haguenau was utterly shocked when they caught wind of what happened. Others were in glee, some relieved and happy, but the majority was shrouded with a thick cloud of doubt and disbelief.

Questions were thrown left and right but no one could find a definite answer. All words that were about to escape were cut short at what was to come.

Rumors were turned into facts and all who rejected the idea could only gawk at the sight. Multiple eyes rake over the two men frantically yelling and running like their lives depended on it. But their focus was immediately averted to you— the weak soldier in the arms of Lieb.

It was hectic and no one knew what to do next, but the shouts of the fiery-headed man brought them out of their daze.

Desperate cries for the medic rang for a few moments and then after what felt like an eternity, the Cajun man arrived. It’s an understatement to say that his heart stopped as soon as his eyes ran over your unconscious form.

Caught frozen in the moment it was only when Martin practically shoved him into your direction did he start moving.

Nodding stiffly with his cerulean eyes blown wide open, almost everyone in the area rushed to the building where all of Roe’s supplies laid. The door busted upon and could’ve flown off it’s rusty hinges at that point, but everyone’s nerves were wrecked to oblivion.

The shuffling and the jagged huffs of air you released filled the air. They laid you on the wooden table in the center of the room, gingerly plopping your body on the rough surface.

Cold. You were so cold and barely hanging onto an inch of your life… Eugene felt himself grow more rushed and panicked with every move he took, yet he still proceeded each step with the precision and stability any medic wished they had.

He remembered to treat you with the utmost care and gentleness and carefully shrugged off your soddy coat. Removing his own, he dressed you his dry and warmer coat.

“Blankets,” Eugene uttered while looking into Lipton’s eyes

Lipton was too busy fretting over your being and when Eugene said the word, and he couldn’t make out a word. “Roe, what?”

“Sir, just give me blankets, please,” the medic practically keened.

The First Sergeant let out a hum of acknowledgement before rushing off to God-knows-where to get the blankets Eugene so desperately and quietly pleaded for. As soon as Lipton disappeared behind a corner, all of Eugene’s attention was on you.

Requesting hot water, Roe immediately soaked a towel in it. Removing excess moisture before letting it cool down for a few moments, he placed the warm towel on your neck. He poured out all his medical knowledge into action, he needed to keep you alive. Eugene needed to.

He couldn’t lose you again, he wouldn’t allow it.

His mind processed so many things, like how you suddenly appeared after everyone thought you… Thought you died. Appearing out of nowhere, collapsing, and in severe need of warmth. Nonetheless, you were alive and breathing. You were back and now all his answers have been answered.

With the heavy weight lifting from his chest, a new weight arrived and took its place. Right now, all he needed to do was to get blood circulating through your body and to keep you warm.

He just hopes he can deal with the emotions that would later come, and he most definitely hopes that you’ll make it out of this just alright.

“Roe. The blankets,” Lipton returned and in his arms were a heaping pile of blankets which would be more than okay.

“Thank you, Sergeant,” Eugene thanked curtly as he took the heavy pile off his hands and placed them on the cold stone floor.

“Of course, Eugene,” while Lip had addressed him, his eyes were still glued at your shut eyes. The fatherly compassion in his face made Eugene feel warm for just a bit before taking a glance at your serene expression.

Eugene’s hands grabbed about four and laid them across your form, and he took two more to make a makeshift pillow. Tenderly raising up your head, he placed it under and let out a sigh in relief as he finished treating you. The soft rise of your chest reassured him that you were sleeping well, the frigid temperatures of your skin subsiding and returning to normal.

You’d be alright, you just needed to rest and wake up and Eugene couldn’t wait more for that moment to arrive. Loosely dropping the blanket he held tightly in his fist, Eugene made his way over to you. Everyone had crowded around the table but made space back when Roe told them to make room.

Everyone had crowded around the table but made space back when Roe told them to make room. They mimicked his actions, and stepped closer like before. They were all so nervous, but they all held caring and content looks in their eyes.

As time passed, more and more of the men left the building to go to their bunks. But every time they left, they made sure to spare you one last glance before retreating into the afternoon.

Soon enough it was only him, Babe, Lipton, Speirs, and Winters left in the building— the commanding officers talking amongst themselves while throwing concerned glances at you. Heffron opted to stay on the other side of the table, biting nervously at his fingernails.

“(Y/N) will wake up soon, right?” Heffron questioned, his voice quavering ever so slightly and Eugene turned his eyes to him.

Babe’s eyes were so filled with hope that Eugene couldn’t help but agree too— his own orbs begging for everything to be alright.

Everyone in the room kept watch for as long as they could, but it was only so soon that they had to attend to their own duties. Lipton definitely made sure to give words of encouragement and comfort to the shaken medic and soon he left with Winters and Speirs, the latter offering a stable nod of the head whilst leaving.

“Don’t worry Roe, (Y/N)... (Y/N) will be alright, she’s strong. (Y/N)’s stronger than anyone I know.”

“You… You think so?” The Cajun man carefully began as his dexterous hands took off his helmet to run his fingers through them.

“I know so.”

Lipton placed his glove-laden hand on Roe’s shoulder, the gesture made the tension in his body lessen by just a bit. He gave a salute which Eugene returned and he wistfully watched his company return to their prior business.

With just the two of you left in the building, Eugene let his walls go down and he collapsed on a nearby chair. Both of his hands flashed up to sink themselves deep in his ebony hair, the sniffling of his nose overtaking the silence. It’d been so long since he last cried… It’d been even longer since he saw you…

The salty tears blurred his vision but he hastily rubbed them away, the rough fabric taking them off and clearing his sight.

He dragged the wooden chair closer to you and his hands reached out hesitantly to caress your face. Eugene delicately moved stray strands of your hair away from your face and the back of his hand rested on your forehead to check your temperature.

A melancholy look was glazed over his gray-blue eyes and he slowly retracted his hand away from your forehead. Now that the dust had settled, the realization hit him, and with that came the many thoughts.

You were alive, that was obvious enough, but he couldn’t over the fact that you were. Eugene felt immensely relieved that you were, he wouldn’t be able to live if you weren’t. But seeing you limp in Liebgott’s arms left him frozen as if he was being taken back to your abrupt appearance just about two hours ago.

Eugene’s pale hand found its way on your warm cheek, with you subconsciously nuzzling yourself into the palm of his hand— the action making him weak. You had always used to do that and a tender fondness washed over his once tense features.

All in all, he was completely overjoyed that you were here— even if you weren’t conscious, you were still here. If Eugene’s mind wasn’t keeping him busy, he spent his time checking up and taking care of you.

“I just… You’re back..” Eugene drawled out, even if he knew you couldn’t hear what he was saying. Maybe it was better that way…

He had to choke back tears as he continued, emotion pouring out with every word, “I missed you— I missed you a lot actually.”

Even without anyone listening, Eugene acted like there was— with no one there to judge him, he spoke with utmost passion. It had been long subdued and held back, and in those short moments Eugene had spoken more than he ever had in the past days. His fists were aching from how hard they were clench, appearing ghostly white as he continued spouting heartfelt words from his lips.

“I love you, (Y/N). I was so scared that I lost you, I love you so much, mon ange…” Eugene held your still hand, and there you remained serenely resting.

The words hung in the air, dissipating into nothing as seconds passed by. His term of endearment used to feel heavy on his mouth whenever he had said it, but now at this time— it felt right, it fit.

Eugene’s nerves were utterly wrecked, but your presence was the best thing that has ever happened to him. Two weeks, two weeks since Eugene thought he lost you in Bastogne. But he stopped worrying because all of his prayers were answered.

With his back to the old wooden chair, he observed the light pouring out from the dusty windows— almost golden even though it was a bit too early in the afternoon for it. Eugene felt tumultuous and he tried his hardest to come to terms with today’s events. Tilting his head down he folded his hands and shut his eyelids. With a final look to your passed-out figure, he let out an affectionate smile.

It wasn’t long before Eugene too fell into unconsciousness— his mind being transported to dreamland with you in his head.

“I love you, mon ange,” he mumbled quietly, just hoping you could hear him even in your state.

The soft smile on Eugene’s face was prominent then.

----------

The early afternoon light turned dark, the light—even filled with smoke—shone its pinkish and golden hues through the grimy windows of the brick buildings. It wasn’t long until the evening colors turned into ones of navy blue and soon dark cobalt, the moon shining dimly in the sky. Eugene was still passed out, arms crossed and as still as he could be.

No one decided to bother the medic, and anyone who decided to enter the building anyway decided to do so quietly. A menagerie of people checked up on you and Eugene through the hours, but nonetheless people were sparse. With no patrols, wounded, or future assignments, Eugene could stay in that building for as long he wanted to.

His helmet rested idle next to his chair, and the room looked like a moment frozen in time.

The lantern casted a yellow glow throughout the space, shadows playing on the medic’s face and the edge of the room. And that was where you found yourself, wrapped in blankets, in an unknown rickety building. Nonetheless you were warm and you were thankful for that.

Yet you still felt fuzzy, like static was making a home in your brain. You softly let out a groan, your shoulders sore and your skin tingling.

“Shit… My head…” you brought a shaky hand to your temples and the pile of blankets fell off your torso and pooled in your lap.

The old wooden table creaked with each movement and you didn’t notice the sleeping figure sitting on the side of you. The corners of the moon could barely be seen from the angle you were in, and your tired digits clenched around the thin fabric that was splayed out in front of you.

You were in… That was right— you were in Haguenau. You made it, saw Babe and Lieb and inevitably passed out. That was all in the morning, it must be. Just how long have you been passed out? It must’ve been half the day.

Your weary (E/C) eyes glanced across the room, taking in your surroundings. With the dim lantern light bathing you, it was quite hard to make out anything. Turning your head slowly left and right you jump out of your skin when you see a body just beside you.

Your eyes widen swiftly, your mouth agape. But looking closer, it wasn’t just anybody. Bringing your palm to your chest to calm your turbulent heartbeat, you gazed at him— to assure yourself that you weren’t hallucinating.

It was Eugene— good God it was Eugene.

Gathering your thoughts, you leaned forward, slightly wincing at the slightly numb and uncomfortable feeling of your abdomen and legs. Your eyes held want and need, you never wanted someone so badly. A strong urge to just throw away the regard of your own safety and bounce into his arms was tempting, but you knew better than to do that.

You’d simply pass out again, and if you were to die right here in this moment, then so be it. One glance at the ebony locks that were lightly tousled, the same ones you loved to run your (S/C) hands through, was enough to make your heart weak.

His closed eyes just radiated like unexplored waters, and even when sleeping he held such a refined grace and elegance.

This must’ve been the longest sleep he’s had in days, and while you had gone through considerably worse these few days, your heart panged at the thought of him not getting enough rest.

“Eugene…?”

It slipped out suddenly, you didn’t even mean to utter anything. But his eyes opened before you could even register the fact that you did speak.

Ever the light sleeper or even borderline insomniac, Eugene bolted up. Stormy blue orbs revealing themselves and his whole upper body staggering up at the sudden noise. While soft, it was clearly abrupt, and so it woke him up immediately.

At first he thought it was one of the boys, maybe one of them telling him to come back to the bunks or something similar. But when his head lurched its direction at the door, no one was there.

Blinking away his grogginess, he saw you. Awake. Right in front of him.

Even though it was you who needed the most rest, you made the first move. Steadily balancing yourself on the table with your legs hanging loosely on the edge, your head tilted and your eyes glassy. Eugene Roe didn’t want to cry, he wanted his first moment with you to be happy.

But tears don’t listen to the silent pleas of broken soldiers. And so they fell on his trousers, wet droplets plopping gently on the fabric.

With a blink on an eye, the moment was cut short by your sudden movements. The flickering of the lamp illuminating your tired face as you plopped from the table with a wince. The patter of your feet as you trekked the small distance which separated you and your lover. The longing in your heart ceased, but even with Eugene there your heart seemed to crave more once again.

Chuckling dryly through his tears, Eugene took off his gloves, “Ain’t this the part where I tell you to keep resting?”

The first thing he says to you and it’s one of his stupid jokes, Gene mentally reprimanded himself but when he saw you smile he didn’t think it was such a bad idea anymore. The first laugh you had in such a long time bubbled in your dry throat, you softly coughing after the act.

Eugene stood up with a concerned look in his eyes, only stopping himself when you held your hand up.

You were the first to break, as you collapsed yourself onto Eugene’s chest as he stood up. Eugene’s tears were long gone, but yours were only starting. You sobbed silently as you clutched his uniform. You grabbed at him fervently, hoping to find leverage.

With your hands running intensely around his body— just wanting to touch any part of him. Any.

It’s been far too long and you just wanted to hug him so tight you couldn’t breathe anymore.

Two weeks may not seem like much, but in war two weeks felt like an eternity. A lot occurred in those two weeks—Eugene Roe broke and snapped and you almost succumbed to Mother Nature. But it was good now— no Germans, no missing lovers, and no more fucking snow. It was almost unbelievable, like a dream.

The absence in your heart has been filled, but you wanted to stay whole for as long as you can— so you held onto him like your life depended on it. With trembling fingers and quavering breath, you feverishly embraced him, and he too returned your hold with as much fervor. You missed him, you missed him too much.

“Welcome back, mon ange...”

“Well,” you gestured to the old building and walls enclosing you both, “This certainly doesn’t look like heaven.”

Gene only lightly smiled, his eyes focusing on your face. He took it in, desperate to keep your figure in his head. He’ll never forgive himself if he doesn’t remember the exact planes in your face for even a moment. You stood there too, dazed. You had only just woken up and yet you were already straining yourself, but for Gene it was worth it.

The comedic and light moment left as quickly as it came, getting washed away by the somber atmosphere like a powerful tidal wave. Eugene was the one who went out to hold you this time, but it was none at all like yours.

His hold was secure and controlled, although you could tell he was practically yearning to hold you intensely like you did with him.

While not the passionate hold you gave him, it held as much love and adoration. Eugene didn’t need words to express his happiness, relief, and sorrow for he was quite literally the human embodiment of ‘actions speak louder than words’.

Everything was so ephemeral, with the blink of an eye it could all vanish. But the love that you held for Eugene said otherwise. Oh you pleaded internally that someone will let this be the lifetime where you spend an eternity with him. That finally this will be the time where you won’t have to worry about no longer having Eugene by your side.

Tears sprang up from your eyes again, tumbling down slowly on your cheeks, “I thought— I thought I was never going to see you again. I… I thought I was going to die Gene, I r-really did, I was so close…”

“I thought so too, but we’re here now.” he wiped your tears away with a swipe, his cold lips pressing kisses on your forehead.

“Wha-what if I didn’t see you, or if I took a wrong turn? And the last thing I would see would just be snow and not you—”

With a soft but firm look on his features, he shook his head as if to say ‘no more’, “(Y/N)... I would walk around for miles to find you if I could.”

You clamped your mouth shut and nodded with each word from his mouth, and you buried your head deeper into his hold. The dank room seemed much brighter with you in his embrace, the whole town seemed to light up in fact.

Everyone has such expectant and hopeful faces and they were immensely glad that you were back with them. Cold as you were then, you still managed to be brighter than the sun. Eugene could honestly go on for hours listing all the beautiful adjectives he could use to describe you.

Eugene held you as if he had no intentions of ever letting you slip from his secure grasp. If there was no tomorrow, he should at least enjoy this sacred moment while it lasts— to forever savor it and reminisce about it when his time comes.

You begged anything to let this fleeting moment last, to forever be one with the one you loved most.

“Never let me go, Genie.”

“I won’t…”

“Please?”

“I love you too much to lose you again...”

With a word or with a sentence, Eugene could make you feel anything. And with that uttered statement, he made you feel at peace. A compassionate look that held a million unspoken words was bestowed upon you, for a fraction of a second you could feel him pressing the faintest of kisses on your lips.

And for the first time in this chaotic unfolding of events, you felt happy.

----------

Author’s Note: Well here it is, my last fic before I go. But thank you for making it all the way to the end of this long fic, I love y’all so much. I hope y’all will have a good day and I’ll be sendin’ some good vibes 😩💕

#band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #eugene roe #eugene roe x reader #hbo war #hbo war x reader #band of brothers fanfiction

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fangirlcore · 5 years

Text

spoilers ahead!!

i just watched far from home for the second time today and had some thoughts, so be warned there are multiple spoilers in the following paragraphs (and it's also sad as fuck)...

tony left edith to peter along with the stark industries card that read 'to the next iron man, i trust you'. before peter hands over the glasses to mysterio, he explicitly says that tony knew him, that he knew every single mistake he's ever made and he "must've known" peter was not prepared for the responsibility that came with owning edith. much further into the movie, peter tells happy he could never be the next iron man. happy answers that with the very truthful 'no one could ever live up to iron man, not even tony himself. (...) he was all over the place and always second-guessed every decision he ever made. except for you. he never doubted for one second when he chose you'.

tony undoubtedly knew that every single one of happy's words were true. more so, he knew peter better than, if you'll allow me to say it, anyone really, as well as he saw parts of himself in peter that he most likely wished he didn't. rewinding back to homecoming, tony expressively told peter he didn't want him for him to be like himself: he wanted peter to be better. he witnessed with his own eyes peter deeply struggling with the duties and dillemas of being a superhero. tony knew that wouldn't disappear all of a sudden, specially not after his death (which was the exact occasion that would make edith land in peter's hands). tony doubted himself and his worth up until the very last second prior to snapping his fingers and subsequently dying. and he knew peter was very much like him in that sense. he knew peter would continuosly doubt being worthy of the stark legacy, of the edith glasses, of being spider-man. and he just knew the stupid 16 years old kid he came to see as his son would distort his last words to him and think he meant mr. stark trusted him to choose the next iron man.

and then enters the infamous question i saw some asking, why didn't he put a mechanism that prohibited the glasses from being transferred to anyone else? because he knew not only that peter would end up doing so, but also because peter had to do it. peter had to make that mistake to learn from it just as much as tony had to make his mistakes in order to grow and become someone who would give up his dream life if that meant saving the universe, saving his family, saving peter. and that is also why despite allowing peter to transfer the glasses to someone else, he also made sure that he could take a step back and rethink his actions. much like tony took a step back in the very first iron man movie and took the stark industries out of the arms' business. when peter retrieved edith from mysterio, he didn't have to make 'quentin beck' transfer it back to him. he simply put the glasses on and they instantly recognized him. tony made sure those glasses would eternally be peter's, even if he didnmt want them to and despite the rocky paths he may find himself into.

as the glasses officially came back to peter's ownership, edith's first words to him were 'welcome back, peter', as if it knew he would at some point stop being the controller, only to obviously come back at another time. tony knew he'd give up the glasses. and tony knew, without any form of second-guessing, that he'd take the glasses back. because despite all the mistakes that peter made right in his face, tony had already seen the truest essence of his soul. because when he looked at peter, all he could see was the little kid that couldn't believe the tony stark was inside his messy bedroom recruiting him on a mission. the little kid who thought he could fool the tony stark into believing he was not spider-man and didn't even hesitate to shoot a web on the tony stark's hand when he threatened to tell aunt may. all tony saw when he looked at peter was that kid telling him that 'when you can do the things that i can but you don't and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you'. and so, tony knew from the bottom of his heart that no matter what happened, no matter how much peter went off the rails, he would never stop being the kid who wanted to fight for a better world despite the awful responsibility that came with it. the kid who would break the rules tony set for him because he wanted to do more. the kid who declined the offer of becoming an avenger and stayed humble. the kid who didn't even had second thoughts about jumping on a donut-spaceship even though he knew it was a one way trip. tony stark knew all of this about peter before peter even knew himself. and that is also why when peter's putting together a new suit while back in black is playing the background, happy is giving him that look. because not only is he reminiscing the memories with his best friend in a happy nostalgia, but also because happy knows that tony can rest in peace and that the one decision his boss made that he didn't second-guess could not have been more right. watching that scene unfold upon his eyes allows happy to find at least the slightest comfort in a life without tony stark.

far from home had less mentions of tony than i would've expected, but they managed to subtly honor his memory in the most beautiful way i could think of... and also, did you all see that reference to iron heart when peter is picking a movie on the plane and 'heart of iron: tony stark' comes up? am i crazy or are they foreshadowing?

thank you for coming to my longass ted talk, i appreciate it ❤️

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pb1138 · 5 years

Text

A Mission Gone Wrong

I DID IT!!! I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!

“”””Hey i was wondering if you could do a data x reader inly if you have time, i loved your other fics!!! If you could do one where he only realises he loves her after she gets kidnapped and tortured but then disobeys orders to save her. Please make it a happy ending Only if you want though Once again I absolutely loved your fics i keep rereading them Thanks””

Oh my god???? An actual submission??????????????? EEEE!! Sorry if you sent this like…a longass time ago, Ruby. It took me a while to find it, and then obviously a long time to write it. I hope it was worth it!

ANYWAYS. Data x Fem!reader (I hope the fem is ok. It said “her” in the request. I can change it if you’d like.)

Gonna put a warning here: Gonna get graphic up in here. Like super graphic. Like, it’s a torture story m’dudes. There’s gonna be blood and pain. It’s also 9k words long sooooo.

The mission had started out so promising. A simple scan-and-sample mission, common place. Scans had shown no intelligent lifeforms or budding civilizations to get in the way, no threats in the surrounding system. In fact, it was meant to be so easy an assignment that half the crew of the Enterprise was taking shore leave on a rather large satellite—a class M planetoid with miles of beaches, warm, sunny weather, and a naturally occurring spring of alcohol. If Picard hadn’t granted the shore leave, you suspected the crew may have mutinied.

It worked out well, in the end. The planet offered some unusual resources, materials never before studied by Starfleet. Of course, Data had jumped at the opportunity to study them. Through your engineering expertise (Riker had once referred to you as a “grease monkey,”) you’d made friends with Geordi and subsequently Data, so when you heard he had elected to go on this mission you volunteered as well. You have a background in geology and xenobotany from growing up on your agrarian home planet, and Picard agreed this knowledge could prove useful. (You suspected Data had also personally appealed to him on your behalf.) In addition to your team were a young, bright eyed lieutenant well versed in xenobiology, and three standard security personnel, though nobody really expected them to be of any use to you. To say you were excited to have this time with Data would be an understatement. Three years is a long time to form a friendship, and if you were honest with yourself, he’d been more than a friend to you for quite a significant portion of that time. Part of you had hoped, however foolishly, that when he got his emotion chip that he might reciprocate your feelings, but unfortunately it seemed you would not have the honor of being Data’s first love. It was difficult to push past, but at least you now knew he actually enjoyed your company. Since his emotion chip had been put in, the friendship between the two of you had only grown stronger, if not deeper.

It was going smoothly, the scans promising, the samples ready for study. The planet itself was lovely—a woodland type environment with a plethora of large, beautiful flowers, vines, even the trees were pretty. The sun shone down through the canopy of the trees in such a way that it almost felt like twilight, despite the sun never setting. It was a little hard to focus on the task at hand in such a beautiful place, but Data’s enthusiasm for the discoveries at hand were enough to keep you working.

The ambush was surprisingly effective. Sensors didn’t pick them up, and they moved easily, silently. There had been an explosion, the others in the team dead upon impact, but from your place a few meters away, Data had enough time to grab you and shield you from the blast. A second hit came, but not an explosion this time, something else, like a shockwave, and suddenly you were being crushed. Data was sprawled over you, eyes unfocused, jaw slack. “Data?” You’d asked, struggling to push his unmoving body off you. A fog was being filtered in from somewhere nearby, and it made your body feel heavy and weak. It was quickly becoming difficult to breathe under Data’s weight. “Data, please, I can’t breathe.”

There was a series of strange clicking sounds a few feet away, and you turned your head to look for the source. Your universal translator kicked in after a moment, allowing you to catch the last of what was said. “…survivors. Wait. Look there. Still alive. Take it. Good specimen.” Your vision was beginning to blacken, but you could make out something moving toward you on multiple unsteady feet. Instinctively, you tried to wrap your arms around Data to protect him, but you could only manage the strength for one. Just before you passed out, a face leaned down into your view, lightly blue skinned with shockingly bright, glowing green eyes. Several of them, in fact. “Intriguing. Protective towards synthetic. May be important.” The creature reached out a spindly talon, long and slender, as if to touch you, and darkness swallowed you.

Xxx

The chains clink softly against the wall, rhythmically, tauntingly. The bite of the cold metal digging into your wrists is the only thing keeping you awake, giving you focus. The small bit of light streaming in through the slat in the ceiling allowed you to watch the slow dripping of water from the wall ahead of you. How long had you been here? It felt like weeks, but it could easily have only been a day. The sun never set on this planet, no nighttime to witness the passing of days. The water was your only source of timeframe, but that was useless given that it leaked down between the stone slats on the cold floor rather than pooling. Seven hundred forty…two? or was it four?… Shit. With a sigh, you adjusted your legs, stretching them in front of you. You’d lost count again, for who knows how many times.

There was no escaping this room. You hated to admit that you’d given up, because a Starfleet officer never gives up, but in truth you’d run out of ideas. The room was small-ish, maybe 3 meters by 3 meters, but tall, well over 8 meters. There were no doors, no windows, only the source of the drip and the slat in the ceiling, and unless you suddenly could turn yourself into goo, that wasn’t even remotely an option. You doubted even your hand could fit through it. The walls and floor were made of thick, dark stone, impenetrable without a weapon. Even your chains were unbreakable, made of some strange metal you’d never seen before, sturdy, thick, no way to break them or break out of them.

And so you sat. And counted. And waited. And despite your best efforts, the worry that had settled into your gut flared back up again, turning your mind to Data. Your fists clenched at your side, biting hard against the restraints. Where was he? Was he still lying there among your deceased colleagues? Was he even alright? That blast had done something to him, basically turned him off, and you’d never seen that happen before. Along with the worry that was overwhelming you came a twinge of guilt. You knew it was ridiculous—you couldn’t have prevented the attack, couldn’t have done anything to save any of them—but knowing Data could be in danger or worse because he was protecting you? It was the worst feeling in the world. Another pang of guilt, because here you sat, worrying about Data, feeling sorry for yourself, when your fellow crewmen were lying dead somewhere. Did Enterprise know what had happened? Would they come for you? Would they even know you were alive? You let your head drop, staring at the pores in the stone, and tears came.

Drip. One… Drip. Two…

Xxx

Data’s systems were rebooted some time after the attack. His internal clock indicated that it had been precisely 13 hours, 53 minutes, and 12 seconds. He pushed himself to his feet quickly and took stock of his systems. .03% slower than normal parameters but functioning nonetheless. He turned to survey the area and frowned. The accompanying away team was dead, a result of the original explosion. The phasers and tricorders were completely unusable, indicative of a strong EMP which likely accounted for his temporary shut down.

With a sudden jolt, a new emotion filled him, made him vibrate with worry and his system’s equivalent to adrenaline. Where were you? Tapping his comm device, he called, “Data to Lieutenant…” He paused, turning on his heel. “Lieutena…” There. He stepped quickly, eyes scanning until he found it. A communicator device, lying underneath a bush. He picked it up and turned it in his hands. Yours. Without a doubt. Upon the back was the nick that you’d accidentally placed in it while working with a laser cutter. Scowling, Data clenched the communicator in his fist and spun around, eyes scanning every square centimeter of the surrounding area. When he could not find you, he set out in search, calling your name. You could be injured, or worse for all he knew.

After nearly half an hour of intense searching without even the smallest of signs, he stopped despite his best instincts and growled, punching a tree. With a trembling hand, he activated his comm device. “Commander Data to Enterprise.”

Xxx

A loud rumbling sound jerked you from your thoughts, and you scrambled to your shaky feet. The wall across from you split apart in the middle, blinding you with a sudden burst of light. Before your eyes could adjust, there were hands upon you, disconnecting your cuffs from the wall, pushing you forward. You stumbled, feet heavy beneath you, but complied. You were taken out into a long hallway, tall and wide. Once your eyes adjusted to the light, you turned to look at your captors, and immediately had to suppress a shudder. They resembled Terran arachnids in a way—standing on four long, spindly legs which connected to a sort of thorax, two arms on either side of their body, their hands holding six long, spindly talon-like fingers, heads held aloft by disturbingly thin and long necks, nearly a dozen eyes embedded in their heads. You’d never seen a creature like them before, never even heard of something resembling their description. Data would be fascinated, you thought dismally, and again he returned to your thoughts. Would he come for you?

You didn’t have long to ponder your unnaturally white knight in golden armor. The creatures brought you to a large set of doors as high as the ceiling which parted slowly. They pushed you into the room beyond, a dark, humid place wherein every little sound echoed violently from the walls. It was too dark for you to see even your own feet, but you could feel eyes upon you from every angle. The creatures threw you down to your knees in what you estimated was the center of the room. There was tugging on the chains that held you before the heavy metal fell to the floor beneath you. You tested it once, a confirmation that they had reattached them firmly to something stationary.

Overhead, a light flicked on, nearly blinding you in the process. You flinched, holding your hand up to cover your eyes and squinted through your fingers. After a few moments, your eyes readjusted, and you were able to make out the general setup of the room you were in. It was like an old earth amphitheater, a large circular room with varying levels upon which about half a dozen of the creatures sat, watching you.

“Interesting.” You turned to see which one had begun talking. It sat on the ring closest to you, an ugly thing which was notably smaller than its companions. “Bipedal. Strange.” It stood up, crossing one set of arms in front of its chest, a note pad of some sort in another of its hands.

You cleared your throat, your Starfleet training kicking in. “My name is—”

“Language. Suggests intelligence. Unexpected.”

You frowned, looking the creature up and down. “I am a lieutenant serving aboard the Federation Starsh—” Before you could finish your sentence, a jolt of electricity emanated from your chains, shooting up your arms and across your body. You yelped in pain and fell off your knees.

“Fascinating. Shows pain.”

You scowled, glaring up at your captors. “I am a lieute—” Another shock, this one longer, stronger, tore a loud shriek from your throat. “—aboard the Federation Starship USS Ent—” one more “—erprise!” You grit your teeth against the pain, doing your best not to give into the pain and cry.

The creatures were whispering all around you, but the leader was sitting, staring at you in silent contemplation. After a long moment, it stood, and a hush fell around the room. It moved slowly and deliberately towards you, its many eyes watching you intently. It stopped a few feet away and leaned its upper body down closer to your level, scrutinizing your features. “Very promising. Excellent specimen. Strong.”

You glared indignantly up at the creature. “State your intentions.” You prayed your voice was as level as you thought it was.

A slow, wide grin spread across the creature’s face, and you had to suppress a shudder when its sharp teeth were revealed. “Intentions? Study.”

A chilly fear settled in your gut. “Study what?”

It leaned down further so that its mouth was near your ear and whispered, “Study you.”

Before you could react, there was an intense pain running from your neck down your arm, and you cried out in pain. The creature was walking backwards now, watching your face. A few tears skimmed down your face when you turned to look at what it had done to you, and bile rose in your throat at the sight of the blood racing down your arm from four long, deep, parallel cuts in your skin.

“Fascinating. Musculature. Circulatory system. Iron-based.” Several of the creatures around the room were jotting down notes, nodding in understanding.

This mission started out so promising.

Xxx

“Scans still show no sign of humanoid life on the planet’s surface, and no vessels in the vicinity.” Data clenched his fist against the helm, a scowl plastered upon his face.

Geordi rested his hand upon his friend’s shoulder from behind. Picard rubbed a hand across his face in exasperation. “No warp trail signatures, no residue, anything?”

Data grit his teeth. “No. Sir.”

“Very well. Number One, Worf, Data, assemble an away team. Do another sweep of the area. There must be something we missed.”

The three men were quick to jump to their feet and join in the turbolift. Worf was already calling for a security team to meet them in the transporter room, though Data hardly heard it. Ever since he awoke upon the planet, a deep sense of…something had been brewing within him, threatening to swallow him whole at any given moment, the only thing on his mind you. He wished with all his might that he could turn his blasted emotion chip off, to focus on the task at hand, but he and Geordi had been unsuccessful in their attempts to de-fuse the chip from his positronic net.

“Data?”

Data snapped out of his thoughts of you and turned to his friends who were looking at him with concern. “My apologies, Commander. I was not listening.”

Riker frowned, his brow furrowed. “Data, are you alright?”

Data opened his mouth to reply, but as he did, the turbolift doors opened. The three men exited and made their way to the transporter room, Riker’s query forgotten.

They landed in the middle of the blast radius, phasers drawn. The corpses of their fallen comrades had been removed, much to Data’s relief. In hindsight, the discovery of their bodies had only worsened his concern for your safety.

“Now, Data, run through what happened just one more time. You were standing here, yes?” Riker pointed to the area that Data had indicated to him earlier.

Data nodded, assuming his position at the location. “Yes, sir. I was standing here, scanning this piece of flora when the sound of an incoming incendiary device registered in my processing system. I calculated the time required to reach the now deceased ensigns and determined that they were too far to help, though Lieutenant Y/L/N was within an acceptable distance. I shielded her from the blast, but soon after an electromagnetic pulse was sent, temporarily deactivating me. When I awoke, I discovered the deceased away team, then found Lietenant Y/L/N’s combadge underneath that bush.” He turned to indicate the bush in question.

Riker paced the area several times while Worf surveyed the perimeter of the blast, rerunning the scans they’d taken before. Riker paused at the bush, then stepped a few feet away, out of Data’s immediate line of sight. Data clenched his fists several times, teeth grinding despite himself. The feeling had reasserted itself when they’d materialized, something he was beginning to believe was intense worry. It was true you were one of his closest friends, so of course it would be understandable that he would be worried about you, but something about it felt deeper than that. He reserved himself to analyzing the sensation at a later time.

They split up and searched for over three hours, spreading out in a circular search pattern which broadened. As the sun came back around to be high over head for the second time that day, Riker called them to a standstill and rubbed his face. “Gentlemen, I think it’s time to call it a day.”

Data frowned. “But, sir—”

Riker patted his friend on the back and looked upon him with pity in his eyes. “Data, I know how deeply this must hit home, but I think we, particularly you, could do more good from the ship than down here. We’ll send out search parties, alright?”

Data pondered his words and looked to Worf. He was scowling at the ground but nodded in agreement. Data clenched his fists twice before nodding. “Yes, sir.”

Riker nodded and patted Data’s arm again. “We’ll find her, Data.” He tapped his combadge and called O’Brien to beam them up.

Xxx

They’d stopped for now, though they continued to watch you. You assumed they were interested in how your species recovered from such pain. Over the past few hours, they’d ramped up the electrocutions before they’d moved on to more…colorful means. Your whole body was aflame with pain. They’d drenched you in freezing liquid (something like water but thicker,) and taken note of your body’s natural reaction to the shock before promptly throwing scalding water at you. Thankfully, your uniform protected you from most of the heat, but your pant leg had been ripped open during your capture, so the flesh there had begun to blister. They’d stretched your bonds apart until one of your shoulders dislocated, something which earned quite a bit of chatter from your captors.

They were watching as you fought to catch your breath, teeth grit against the pain. For what must have been the thousandth time, you croaked, “I am a lieutenant with the Federation Starship USS Enterprise. I demand to know what you want.””

“Enough.”

You looked up at the one who had spoken. She was larger than the others, sat higher up in the theater. The others stopped and turned to look at her. Their queen maybe? You coughed and tried again. “I am a lieute—”

“No matter. Study only.” She moved, stepping smoothly down the stairs until she stood at the lowest level, staring directly at you with glowing eyes. You suppressed a shiver. “What species?”

You narrowed your eyes. “You first.”

There was another shock, causing you to cry out. “Species.”

You scowled. “Human.”

“Human. Unfamiliar. Galactic designation?”

Galactic designation? Planet? Was it safe to give these creatures that kind of information? One look at the queen told you that no, it was not. If their treatment of you was any indication, these beings are less than cordial. You didn’t have to be a Betazoid to know they weren’t just studying you to learn about you. They were having fun.

Another shock. “Galactic designation.”

You growled through the pain. “Bite me.”

Slowly, a grin spread unnaturally far across the queen’s face, revealing several rows of sharp teeth. You swallowed hard, a deep pit of fear welling up within you. She leaned over the railing, her neck stretching out a ways, so close you could almost smell her. “A pleasure.” She leaned back and looked behind you, the grin still plastered upon her unnatural face. “Prepare it.”

Before you could react, your chains were released from the floor, and the creatures were hauling you to your feet by your agonized arms, eliciting a cry. They dragged you backwards until your back hit a hard, flat surface and your chains were pulled taut so that your arms were above your head. “What are you—” The table was flipped abruptly backwards so that you were lying level. You turned to look at your captors. They were dragging out a cart which rattled sinisterly, and just before a bright light shrouded your vision you were able to make out a long, thin knife. You swallowed hard and shut your eyes. Data, now would be a good time to swoop in.

Xxx

Thirty-six hours, forty-six minutes, and eighteen seconds. That is how long you had been missing. Since their return from the planet’s surface, Data had run eighty-three complete scans of the planet and surrounding space, and still there were no signs of you or of your potential captors. There had been round-the-clock away teams sent to the surface to search on foot for anything that might have offset the sensors, but nothing had been found. Not even so much as a hair from your head had been left behind. Data sat in the astrometrics lab, practically vibrating with anger. As the results of the eighty-forth futile scan came in, he stood with a yell and began pacing, a scowl on his face. The doors opened, and though he didn’t turn to look, he knew it was Counselor Troi. “Please, Counselor, not now.”

“Data, I’m sensing—”

He turned, anger apparent in his face. “What? That I am angry? You are most correct, Counselor. I am angry. One of my dearest friends is missing, and I am powerless to do anything about it!”

She crossed over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, frowning. “Data, I’m sorry. I know how difficult this must be for you.”

He was trembling now, and he reached up with a shaking hand to brush his hair back out of his face. “I… I am afraid, Counselor. And I am angry with myself. I should have…”

She shook her head and squeezed his arm. “You mustn’t think like that, Data. You could not have done anything. We’ll find her, don’t worry.”

“Captain Picard to Lieutenant. Data, report to my ready room.”

Troi gave him one last smile before she hugged him, a rare display for Data. They separated after a moment, and he smiled weakly at her. “Thank you, Counselor.” He cleared his throat and tapped his comm. “Acknowledged, Sir.”

The bridge was solemn as Data stepped onto it, and if Data had the programming for it, his hair might have stood on end. Riker nodded to him as he passed, and Data locked eyes with him for a moment before continuing to the Captain’s ready room. Picard bid him enter, but as Data stepped through the threshold, he knew something was wrong. The Captain stood, facing the observation window, his hands folded behind his back. “Captain?”

“Data, please sit down.” Picard turned and took a seat at his desk, folding his hands upon it. Data frowned as he sat. “Have you made any progress?”

Data clenched his fist by his side and shook his head. “No, sir. I have run eighty-three complete scans, but I have been unable to find anything.”

Picard nodded solemnly then sighed. “Data… I know you’re close to the lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir. She is one of my best friends.”

He ran a hand over his face. “That only makes this more difficult.” Visibly uncomfortable, Picard stood and crossed to his replicator where he requested an Earl Grey before taking it to his desk. “I have… I have received a communique from Starfleet Command. The Starship USS Abbot has gone silent, and we are the starship nearest its last reported position. It will take us 26 hours at Warp 9 to reach her where all other starships are weeks away. We have been ordered…” He sighed. “We have been ordered to investigate immediately.”

Data stared at his captain, disbelief spread across his face. “Sir… Are you implying that we give up the search? That we leave Y/N for dead?”

Picard looked down at his tea, his own fists clenched upon his desk. “I… I am afraid that is… precisely what I am implying.” Data jumped to his feet, a protestation already on his lips but the captain raised his hand. “Data. I am truly sorry. Believe me, I would stay and scour every leaf for however long it took, but we have our orders. It has been four days. As such…” He took in a deep breath. “As such, I must now presume the lieutenant to be killed in action. We leave orbit as soon as the final search team has returned.”

Killed in action. Killed. In action. Killed. Killkilledkilldkiledkildkilekilled. Killed. As in dead, deceased, no longer living, gone—Data stared Picard for a long moment before he realized the captain was speaking. Picard seemed to realize Data had zoned out because he paused, allowing Data a moment. After another moment, Data whispered, “Captain, may I be relieved of duty until such a time as we arrive at the Abbot?”

Picard hesitated for a minute before nodding once. He stepped around his desk to stand face to face with Data. “If there’s anything I can do for you, Data, please let me know.”

Data regarded his captain with a masked look before nodding. “Thank you, Sir.”

Picard nodded then stepped back. “You are dismissed.”

Data turned on his heel and practically ran to his quarters. He sat at his terminal and scanned over the final environmental scans once more. Something inside him knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were still alive, that you needed help, that you needed him.

A plan began formulating in his mind, and he looked at Spot. “I am going to get her back.” Spot stared up at him listlessly, nothing but a single flick of the tail to indicate Data had been heard at all. He reached up and brushed a finger over the pips on his collar. Was this the right thing to do? He looked towards a picture which sat on his desk of his poker group with the two of you in the center, your wide, cheesy grin pointed at him, the cards laid in front of you showing a straight flush which clearly beat his pair of queens. Decisively, he reached up and removed the pips from his uniform, placing them neatly upon his desk. You were more than worth it.

By his estimation, the away team was only minutes away from beaming aboard, meaning he had to hurry. He set about inputing his new commands into the computer. Zipping about his quarters, he gathered a bag, a medical kit, some rations, his tool kit, as well as a phaser. He acted quickly, diverting transporter functions from the main bridge so no one would be able to pick up his departure then tapped his com badge, assuming Geordi’s voice. “La Forge to Transporter Chief, would you come down to Engineering? We’ve found an anomaly in the power flow to transporter room 2. Data is on his way to relieve you now.” The Chief sent back an acknowledgement of the command, and Data set off on his task.

Just as he reached the transporter room, the away team called for a beam up. Data entered and nodded to the unsuspecting lieutenant. “I will take it from here, Chief.”

“Thanks, Commander.” She gave him a quick smile which he blankly returned and slipped past him.

Data crossed over to the transporter controls and beamed the away team to the Enterprise. As soon as the door slid shut behind them, he input the coordinates of the launch site, leapt over the console, and stood impatiently upon the energizing pad.

The transport was successful, putting Data in the center of the attack zone. He scanned the area with several different tricorder settings, waiting. After nobody from the Enterprise beamed down, he had to assume that his plan had worked thus far. Either computer had accurately hidden his transport as anticipated and lied about his whereabouts, or nobody thought to look for him. They must be en route to the Abott already.

He set to work quickly. Who knows how long he had before the Enterprise noticed his absence and came back? Would they return even before they had completed their investigation of the Abott? Unlikely. Captain Picard, though known for disobeying orders when he felt it best, would not put Data’s importance over that of an entire ship. At the very least, Data was counting on it.

Several hours passed before he was finished with his work, and once he had he stood in the same spot he had been when the attack happened. He looked around one final time, looking once more for anything he might have missed, but found nothing. “Very well.” He bent down and activated the short-distance beacon placed near his feet and began his wait.

Xxx

Consciousness eluded you, the pain too much to endure but too much to avoid as well. You drifted in and out like waves lapping against a boat in a sea of agony. You weren’t even sure what they were doing to you anymore. It all blurred together.

You couldn’t scream anymore though you wanted to. You had long since been rendered hoarse, the only sounds coming from you now no more than soft screeching. How long had you been here? Hours? Months? Years? You couldn’t know any longer. The only thing you did know: Data was coming for you.

Maybe you had dreamt it. Maybe it was a hallucination. You couldn’t be sure. But at one point, amidst the tears and the gasps, the doors had opened, and a creature had scuttled in. It leaned across the counter to whisper in the queen’s ear, and she looked positively furious. “Beacon? Impossible. Undetectable.” Your torturer paused its ministrations to look towards the commotion.

“Synthetic lifeform. Wants attention. Perhaps searching.”

Though your entire body was riddled in agony, you knew you were smiling. The look the queen gave you was positively venomous, and before you slipped out of consciousness again, she crossed the room to you and put her face in your line of view. In a menacing voice, she hissed, “Vessel status?”

“Departed.”

The queen smirked wickedly and reached slowly to touch your forehead. “Retrieve synthetic.” As her talon-like finger touched your skin, a searing pain erupted across your face, sending you back into the darkness again.

Xxx

Data didn’t have to wait long before his hosts found him. He could hear their approach, their hushed chittering, rather like insects. Another moment later, and a small metal ball was rolled near him. It expanded, no doubt another attempt to knock him offline with an EMP. Thankfully, Geordi had analyzed his sensor data and worked to create a sort of inoculation against this type of attack in the future. There was silence after the device was activated before he detected another hushed chitter. Data stood and turned towards the sound of his attackers, hands raised. “My name is Data. I have been abandoned here by my crew due to my failures in your previous attack. I have no choice but to seek asylum with your species.”

The creatures were silent for a long second before one stepped forward. Data was immediately intrigued by them—their insectoid anatomy and how it relates to their language structure, their apparent ranking structure, all of it—but he quickly snapped back to the situation at hand and its stakes. There were three of them, and they advanced on him, circling him, one of them scanning him with a strange device he could only surmise was their equivalent of a tricorder. It nodded to the other two who were quick to advance on Data. He allowed them to take him custody, and as they dragged him through the underbrush, they appeared in a metal hallway, similar to that of a starship. As they walked, Data pondered their sudden appearance here and began working on theories as to how they got there. A subspace transportation device? A controlled worm-hole opening device? While he mused, he took in his surroundings, attempting to identify where they might be keeping you and also analyzing potential exits in the event that his plan failed.

They brought him to a small room with no windows and left him there. He ran some systemic diagnostics while he waited, though nothing took his mind too far from you. After 3 hours, 43 minutes, and 29 seconds, the doors to the room opened again, flooding it with a blinding light. There were hands upon him, dragging him to his feet which he allowed without any resistance.

They dragged him down a few more hallways before finally dragging him into an amphitheater type room. There were six more of the creatures there, gathered among the stands. On the floor stood two more, one smaller than the rest, the other larger and standing proudly. If Data possessed bile ducts, they would be in overdrive right that second. On the floor was a concerning amount of red blood. At least he knew you were here. He was right.

The larger creature on the floor was grinning at him. She leaned forward in a mock bow. “Welcome. Purpose?”

Data tilted his head. “If you are inquiring as to why I have come, it is quite simple. My crew has found me to be inadequate and as such, I have been abandoned on this planet. It logically follows that I would seek asylum with your crew.”

The queen smirked. “Asylum? Not rescue?”

If Data had a heart, it might have jumped. ‘Rescue?’ Then you were alive. He kept his face neutral, however, and forced his voice to stay level. “Any hostages you may have taken have also been abandoned by my ship. As such, a rescue is illogical.”

“Data?”

The voice was weak, trembling, hoarse, but he’d know it anywhere. It was you. You were here, alive, at least alive enough to recognize his voice. The queen’s grin grew sickeningly wide. “Recognition. Intriguing. Perhaps friend? Lover?”

‘Lover?’ The thought did elicit certain…emotions from him, though he’d never considered it before. He shook his head. “The organic life form in question is no more than a simple crewm…” Data’s voice trailed off as the queen stepped aside, and he caught sight of you. How you were alive, he could not say. You’d been tortured nearly beyond recognition, your skin mottled, blood covering not just yourself but the table they’d tied you to and a large portion of the floor below you. You bore over two dozen significant lacerations upon your visible body, and he could only guess as to your internal damage. But your face. Your eyes which he had analyzed on more than one occasion were nearly swollen shut, and one looked as though the pupil had been blown, the sclera surrounding it a shocking red. He could hear your struggling breath from even his distance across the room, and he sounded as though liquid had begun pooling in your lungs.

You didn’t have much time.

“—ember.” Less than .03 seconds had transpired since the queen had moved, and for the moment it seemed as though none of the creatures had noticed his lapse in continuity.

The queen studied his face for a long moment before turning her back to him. “Disappointing.” She walked over to you, her back obscuring Data from seeing what she was about to do. There was a slight rattling as a tool was taken off a tray beside the table. Data’s body tensed and his fists clenched as a simpering sound filled the room that could just barely be recognized as a cry from you.

Data forced his body to relax and made a point to clear his throat, and the Queen glanced at him over her shoulder. “Displeases it?”

“If I may—” he tried to step away but the creatures on either side of him forced him back. He looked pointedly at them then at the queen. “What is your primary objective with the human?”

She snorted as if it were obvious. “Study.”

“Yes, but study what?”

“Pain responses.”

Data nodded. “Yes, I thought so. If I may be permitted, I possess a large quantity of knowledge concerning the human pain response and may be able to provide you with even better results. My presence may also be used to help your physicians keep the specimen alive for more prolonged study.”

This seemed to surprise her. “What purpose?”

“I believe it could be construed as a demonstration of good will on my part. If I am to reside here with you and your crew, I would like to be useful.”

The queen stared at him for a moment before nodding once and waving her hand. The guards released Data, and he righted his uniform. “Thank you.” The degree of difficulty required to keep himself from reacting to the state of you was immensely more strenuous than he had anticipated. “First, a brief overview of human female anatomy. This here—” he began pointing out the various parts of your body and giving quick summaries of their functions. As the queen’s attention was drawn to you with one of his hands keeping her attention focused, the other hand set about discreetly lifting up its thumb nail and pressing the button he had installed moments before setting off the beacon. A trick he’d picked up from his dear brother Lore.

‘Now we can only hope the Enterprise picks up the signal and arrives in time.’

Thankfully, you passed out from blood loss before Data had to actually do anything to you. He wasn’t quite sure what he would’ve done to trick them into thinking he was actually hurting you, how he would’ve signaled for you to put on a show for them. The queen called it a night and left Data in charge of getting you patched up, two guards stood nearby to ensure nothing happened.

He did well enough given their utter lack of actually-useful medical tools. He managed to get a large part of your bleeding under control and kept you breathing, kept your heart beating.

You regained consciousness four hours later, though the guards had long since lost interest and were speaking out of what they assumed was Data’s earshot. Once he noticed you were waking up, he put his finger to his lips and winked at you so you’d keep quiet. He knocked a device on the floor near your head and bent down to pick it up, watching as the guards lost interest again. He kept his voice as low as you could hear. “I have signaled the Enterprise. They should be here soon. Just hang on ok?”

The only response you gave was a discreet tapping of your finger, and you shut your eyes again. Data ground his teeth when he noticed the tears slipping silently down your face.

Xxx

Another four hours came and went, and at some point, you had managed to fall asleep—or as close to sleep as you could get.

Your body felt as though it were made from lead. Hot, burning, molten, electric lead. Breathing was the most difficult thing in the world, and the strain to lift your eyelids was nearly impossible to overcome. Somewhere in the fog, however, you were aware of something touching your hand. No. Not something. Someone. Data. That’s right. Data had come. He was here. He’d called for help. Was he holding your hand? Were they saved?

No. The room was too bright to be anywhere on the Enterprise. The table you were on was still cold beneath you, and you were in far too much pain.

The nightmare continues, then.

You heard the doors open, and a chorus of clicking filled the room, and Data’s hand left yours. Your audience had returned, it seemed.

“Status?” Her voice was beginning to be as much torture as the actual torture.

Data’s smooth voice came from beside you, and knowing he was there was enough to make it bearable. Well, no, that’s a lie. This was hell. But it was refreshing to hear. “I have been able to nearly stabilize her vital signs and stop her external bleeding. Though, the internal injuries are quite severe. I estimate that she will not last more than two hours of your tests.”

The queen was angry. You could feel it in the way the room grew silent and tense, and her voice seemed forced. “Extensive knowledge?”

“I do possess several terrabytes of information regarding human anatomy and medicine, however the specimen was already near death when I arrived, and the medical tools on hand are insufficient to return her to peak condition.”

The queen growled, her voice drawing nearer. “Insufficient?”

His voice lowered slightly, as though meek. “I mean no offense. It is only that to repair the damage done, I require certain tools which are not present. I am able to provide a list, if there are adequate replicators on hand. It is possible to restore her completely, and your examinations may continue anew.”

‘Data, no…’ Though you knew, deep down, Data would never hurt you, the fear of the situation had gone to your head. You hoped your body was as immobile as it felt because you were sure you could be trembling. A whole new round? No. Death would be far preferable. ‘Data, please, no. I’d rather die.’

The queen growled again but did not protest and after a long moment agreed. The creatures filed out of the room again, and you sensed you were now alone with Data.

There was the pressure of a hypospray against your neck and the heaviness in your eyes was alleviated. You opened them slowly, blinking at the harsh light. Data put his hand in yours and smiled gently at you. “I am sorry. I had to make it appear as though you were asleep, lest we be discovered.” He squeezed your fingers gently. “We will get o—”

“Suspicions correct.” You froze, and Data spun on his heel, moving to protect you from view. “Treachery! Guards!”

He was quick to act, scooping you up in his arms, eliciting a scream of pain from you. And then you were moving, running down the halls. Every step he made jostled your body though you knew he was trying to be as careful as possible. From over his shoulder, you could see the creatures chasing you, half a dozen or more of them hot on your tail. You noticed that he had lifted his thumb nail and was wildly pressing it as if desperate for something. The creatures began to tire after a few minutes, and Data was able to give them the slip, stowing the two of you away in a sort of broom closet. He arranged the supplies in the closet to hide the two of you and sat down, cradling you gingerly to his chest. Even though he had been the one running, you were out of breath, and each gasp for air didn’t seem to help. Your entire body was aflame with pain. It hadn’t even occurred to you that you had been crying until Data reached up and very gently and slowly wiped tears from your cheek. “It will be alright…”

Your hands found their way to his arm, and you gripped it with all your strength. “How do you know?” The voice that came from your throat was foreign to you, strangled and hoarse. How long had it been since real words had come from your mouth?

Data’s arms wrapped securely around you, protectively, comfortingly. Lovingly. “Because I will never let go of you again.”

There was no chance to respond, nor even to wonder if you had heard him right. A finger went to his lips and he held you still. Outside the door, they were chittering again. Then the queen’s voice—“Locate them!” and a scrambling noise as they took off pursuit again.

You looked up at Data, his yellow eyes nearly glowing in the light. “Data, I’m scared. If… Don’t let them take me again, ok? Whatever it takes, just… Just don’t let them take me.”

He frowned as he considered your words before nodding slightly. “I will not.”

“Promises. Foolish.” The door slid open with a sudden flash of light, and Data tightened his grip on you, turning so he was shielding you from the queen’s icy stare.

You looked pleadingly up at Data, and he nodded in return. Squeezing his eyes shut, he whispered a slight, “Now would be a good time, Captain,” and pressed the button on his thumb again.

You buried your face in his neck, practically trembling with fear. “Data…”

Your only response was a gentle caress of your hair before his hand went to the crook of your neck and pinched, dragging you into darkness.

Xxx

Tired. Heavy. Warm.

“…awake?”

“Nearly. I’m bringing her out now.”

“And her recovery?”

Voices. But whose? Memories arise, but it’s as though they’re being seen through a fog, a haze. It’s familiar and comforting, a relief like none you’ve ever felt before. But why? Relief from what?

“She’s as good as new, at least physically. I’ll have to run some cognitive tests to ensure adequate cerebral functions, but I don’t expect to find any problems.”

“I am sensing disorientation, primarily. She’s not sure where she is. But it seems she recognizes our voices for now.”

Your body blossomed into your reality, slowly. It started from your toes, just a little too cold. Socks. I’d like my pair of polka dotted fuzzy socks. Then, from your toes it spread up to your legs, heavy as though they hadn’t been used in days. Hadn’t they? Surely. Then your hips, your stomach, your chest, shoulders, arms. Finally, your hands. One felt…fuller than the other. A large weight was held around it, holding it up and away from your body. Part of it was brushing along your knuckles. There was a smile on your lips, or the ghost of one.

“Lieutenant?” The ghost was gone, replaced by something much fuller.

“Data.” It hurt to get out, like sandpaper against the back of your throat, but the implications sent a warmth through your body.

Finally, your eyes. They opened slowly, the light sharp, but you managed. Once you adjusted, you turned to look towards him. He was leaning over you, scanning your face, a hopeful smile in place. “How do you feel?”

“I believe that is my question, Mr. Data.”

The other voice dragged your attention to the other side, and several happy faces formed in your line of view. Captain Picard, Dr. Crusher, Counselor Troi, Geordi, Will, even Worf. The doctor was running a tricorder along your body, but she shut it decisively and smiled down at you. “Well? How do you feel?”

You took in the colors around you—the redness of the doctor’s hair, the colors of their uniforms, the silver of Geordi’s visor, the gold of Worf’s sash—and turned to look back at Data. The strangely champagne hue of his skin, the golden tint to his eyes, the darkness of his hair.

And you smiled.

“This is a dream.”

Data shook his head and squeezed your hand gently. “No, Lieutenant. It is not. We are back on the Enterprise.”

“Do you remember anything about the past week?” Deanna put her hand softly over your unoccupied one, dragging your attention back to her.

A frown spread across your face as your brows knit together. “I…” The floodgates opened, images of the arachnoid creatures filling your mind, memories of the pain, their chittering, the queen’s terrible grin, and suddenly it was as though you couldn’t breathe. “N-No, please, no, I don’t… No…”

Deanna made to put her hand on your shoulder. “It’s alright, you’re safe now, it’s alr—”

You flinched from her touch and into Data. “NO!”

The others all looked at one another, and Dr. Crusher everyone except Deanna and Captain Picard away. She prepared a hypospray and approached you slowly, a hand up in a gesture of goodwill. “Lieutenant, this is to help you calm down. Will you allow me to administer it?”

The images were coming too quickly in your mind, causing you to press further into Data who dutifully wrapped his arms around you. “Lieutenant, nobody here is going to harm you. You’re safe now.” Though the Captain’s voice was normally quite soothing to you, the voice of someone you considered to be a father figure, it did little to soothe you now.

Data lightly rubbed your arm and spoke in a soft voice. “The Captain is right. You are safe. I will.”

You looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes. He nodded, a concerned look on his face. Your fingers dug into his sleeve. “Please don’t leave, ok?”

“I promise.” He smiled, causing you to calm slightly, enough for Dr. Crusher to inject you. It was instantaneous, the fear and anxiety from before almost evaporating, and you relaxed significantly, though you continued to hold onto Data’s arm.

Deanna and the Captain began to debrief you with the help of Data’s comforting embrace. They walked through your ordeal with you, slowly, carefully, starting from the attack onward. Once you reached the end of what you recalled, Data slipped his hand into yours. “She had found us and was going to take you again. I initiated a Vulcan nerve pinch upon you to render you unconscious, and I attempted one final time to reach the Enterprise with the homing device I placed in my thumb.”

“It was this final attempt which allowed us to home in on your position in subspace, and Geordi was able to pull the two of you out and bring you home.” The Captain smiled at Data then at you.

The three of you continued to talk for a while before Deanna and Beverly excused themselves. Deanna promised to see you later when you were better rested to discuss setting up counseling sessions. Something told you you were going to need them.

The Captain was halfway through his tea when you whispered, “I’m sorry, Captain.”

A frown struck across his face, and he set his tea down in its saucer. “Whatever for?”

A tear spilled down your cheek. “For the trouble, the worry, the—”

“Nonsense. You are a valued member of this crew. There are no words to describe the joy I have at finding you alive. If anything…” A hint of shame filled his expression. “It is I who must apologize to you. Had it not been for Data, we may never have found you…” The implication hung heavily in the air and straggled in the back of your mind, long after the others had all left.

Data was sitting at your bedside, a book whose name you hadn’t paid attention to sat in his lap as he read to you. His voice washed over you like warm waves on a sandy beach, lulling you into a peace that until a few hours ago had seemed as distant a memory to you as your first steps.

“Data?”

“Yes?” The book was lowered, yellow eyes looking up to meet yours.

“You…” You looked down at your hands and folded them in your lap. “You risked everything. For me. Not just court martial, but deactivation. Why?”

Data was silent for a long time, causing you to peek up at him. He was regarding you with a strange look, and for a quick moment you wondered if maybe he’d malfunctioned somehow.

“I… The truth is, Y/N, that ever since my emotion chip was put in, I have regarded you differently.” Differently? “I thought it was only a strong sense of friendship and did not know what it was until you disappeared.”

Surely you were hearing things, no? “But you know now?”

The smile was back, and he reached over to take your hand. “I do. This emotion I had been feeling towards you had been immensely pleasurable. Your appearances in my days often became something I eagerly awaited. Your smile and laughter filled my mind for long periods of time after your departures.” The smile slipped away, a new emotion taking its place. “When I awoke on the planet and could not find you, it was as though a piece of me had been ripped away. I was worried for you, for your safety. Then, when the Captain told me we were to abandon the search, I was terrified at the thought of losing you forever. Nothing in this existence has ever come close to that feeling, not even the thought of a court martial or deactivation. Nor has nothing in this existence ever come close to the feeling of having you back, of watching your eyes open, of hearing your voice, of seeing your smile.” He brought your knuckles to his lips. “This is how I know what that feeling is.” You held your breath as you watched the grin spread across his face. “I am in love with you.”

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thepatricktreestump · 6 years

Text

I Love Her Anyway: Ch10

A/N: ack! sorry it’s an hour late, i had a busy day today. this chapter was inspired by an ask suggestion in my inbox, kudos to whoever came up with that naughty idea, this one’s for you ;)

the longass tag list: tag list: @cupcakesweetness @un-amoosed-padalecki @pettyiestpersonyouknow @amazingtyjo @converse-or-vans @uriellybrendon @rupphirerydenphan @loverontheleft @vessyvk @yagirlcammmm @brendonuriehimself @myaestheticsareshit @moveondontholdon @pageoftheclouds @lugialagia @galaxy-moonlight @timisnotmontydlc @jigglypuff1999 @geekybeauty8793 @echoloki @greatheromuffinpalace @svintsandghosts @kitykatnumber @dragonqueendany @mtb04308

After taking a nice evening swim in the jacuzzi, Brendon takes you inside and wraps you up in a fluffy robe as well as him, then sits you down for a nice dinner. His chef makes both of you a nice stir fry with veggies and noodles along with some dinner rolls and smoothies. Your head spins at just how good it tastes. Brendon then dresses you in your clothes again carefully and he changes into his own before picking up his keys and heading to the door.

“Come on,” he beckons.

“Wait- what?” you stare at him, confused. “It’s literally night time.”

“We’re going out,” he insists. He picks up your heels then tugs on your hand to get you out the door, handing them to you when you reach the garage. You roll your eyes and groan, reluctantly putting on your heels, not wanting to go out at all. He slides in his seat and revs up the engine, you settling in your seat.

“Where the fuck are we going?” you narrow your eyes, buckling in your seatbelt in the shotgun seat of Brendon’s car. “It’s literally eleven.”

“Exactly, it’s not even late,” he rolls his eyes. “Come on.”

“What if someone sees us?” you hiss. “What then? What if my fucking dad sees us? I told him I was at my friend’s!”

“Believe me, where we’re going your dad isn’t going to be there,” he insists.

“What are we doing?” you tilt your head to the side.

“It’s a surprise,” he says flatly. “And if I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.”

“Right,” you nod sarcastically. “Okay.”

“What do you think it is?” he wonders, taking a turn.

“Well I don’t fucking know because you won’t tell me,” you pout.

“Guess,” he prods. “Come on, babe. Don’t be such an ass.”

“Fine,” you comply. “Um, clubbing? Oh my god. I swear, if you sneak me into a bar or try to give me a fake ID I swear to god Brendon-”

“We’re not clubbing,” he laughs, shaking his head. “God no.”

“Well where else would we go in the literal middle of the night?” you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You’ll see,” he winks. “Patience, my love.”

He pulls up to the last place you thought you’d ever enter in your entire lifetime. “No,” you shake your head. “No, no, no. There’s no way in hell I’m going in there.”

“Yes, you are,” he narrows his eyes. “Now come on.”

“Brendon!” you hiss. “There is no fucking way in hell I’m going into a sex shop. They’ll think you’re a child molester or something if you’re seen with someone as young as me! I doubt I’m even allowed to go in!”

“Oh fuck off,” his eyes turn cold.

“Okay I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like-” your words get caught in your throat. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re going inside,” he sighs. “And please, for the love of god, don’t act suspicious.”

“Okay,” you whisper. You still feel sour from offending him like that. You shouldn’t have said that. That probably hurt. A lot.

“Come on, princess,” he gets your car door for you. You get out and he takes your hand, instructing you to take a deep breath and that everything is going to be just fine. Sounds like a lie, but okay. You walk in, eyes instantly glued to the mannequins donned in leather and lace lingerie, ball gags strapped around their heads and whips in their hands.

“Kinky,” you smirk and he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, no shit,” he scoffs. “Now come on.”

He takes you towards the back of the store, where a wall is lined with all sorts of sex toys labeled “Women’s Pleasures.” There’s dildos varying in lengths and shapes and colors. Butt plugs with rhinestones and animal tails and different designs. Vibrators created with different styles, settings, and sizes. You’re kind of overwhelmed. This was the type of stuff you only ever saw in porn. Brendon takes a step towards the wall, letting go of your hand, and you can barely breathe. He picks out a slender vibrator, one that’s covered in black silicone, with a simple three function control and an on and off button. He holds it in his hand then walks down the aisle without saying a word. You don’t speak either.

“Hello!” a cheery guy with giant gauges and snake bites approaches both of you, company logo of a little devil wearing lingerie sported on his shirt. “Searching for anything in particular?”

“No, just browsing,” Brendon gives a small smile.

“Alright then,” the worker nods. “Here’s a little shopping bag for you to place your items in. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” he replies. You’re shaking so bad, you don’t even notice that you’ve latched onto his hand. “Come on, babe. We’re not done here yet.”

He halts once he reaches another wall, this one labeled “BDSM.” It was something you had seen on the internet before, definitely in porn, but also while scrolling through some of your social media. Your breath hitches as you see him reach out for a pair of handcuffs, placing it into the bag before then brushing his fingers across a bundle of silver silk rope, adding that as well. You feel like you might explode. What the hell is he doing? He peruses a collection of whips and chains, gags and garters, before picking up a leather paddle. He places it along with the others. You feel yourself turn pale. Was he planning on using these on you?

“Brendon,” you mutter. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Getting supplies for tonight,” he simply responds.

“What?” you feel your knees grow weak. “T-tonight? Like tonight, tonight?”

“Yes darling,” he hums, running his fingers over a pair of nipple clamps before taking it off the shelf and adding yet another item. “Is this alright with you?”

“Y-yes,” you swallow awkwardly.

“Are you sure?” he pauses, pulling his hand away from the items. He’s still not facing you though. “You don’t have to say yes.”

“I’m sure,” you say in a soft voice. “I-I’ve always wanted to try this stuff but I’ve always been way too scared to ever do it. Plus, well, I’m young and I thought they were only ever in the… Uh the, um, those videos-”

“Videos?” he turns around, eyebrows raised. “You mean porn?”

“Well yeah,” you turn shy. “Yeah, porn I guess.” You cough as a cover up.

“You watch porn, little one?” he hums, lifting your chin up to face him.

“Sometimes,” you squeak out.

“Do you touch yourself when you watch porn?” he asks.

“Sometimes,” you repeat, voice even softer this time.

“Alright,” he retracts his hand and begins to walk down the aisle, making your heart thump in your chest. You feel like you could melt in a puddle onto the floor right there in the middle of the store.

You reach a section where another couple are, two girls holding hands and whispering in each other’s ears, cheeks blush red as they pick out a dark red lace bodysuit. It’s the lingerie section. “Ooh,” you can’t help but let out a small sound at the sight of a pastel pink leather thigh garter with tiny roses decorating the straps that catches your eye immediately. It’s so pretty and simple and cute it makes your stomach fill with butterflies. You imagine wearing it in the office with your skirts and thigh high socks, one of your button up blouses with your hair curled and cascading down your shoulders, a bright shade of pink lipstick to match. You can’t help but reach out to touch it.

“Do you like that one, sweetheart?” Brendon places a soft hand on your back. “You can get it if you’d like.”

“Really?” to turn to face him, already pulling it off the rack.

“Of course,” he lets out a small laugh. “I think you’d look quite beautiful in it.”

You stick it in the shopping bag and giggle like a small child, then lace your fingers with his as you walk through the store once again. “What time do they close?” you can’t help but whisper. “It’s like, almost midnight.”

“Midnight,” he responds. “Most shops do unless they’re twenty-four hours.”

“So you’ve been here before,” you murmur.

“Well yeah,” he nods. “How else do you think I got my toys?”

“You have toys?” your eyes almost bulge out of your sockets. “Like what?”

“It’s a secret,” he gives a small smile, getting in line to check out.

“No fair,” you narrow your eyes. “I want to know.”

“Maybe you’ll find out one day,” he chuckles. “But that day is not today.”

You watch carefully as the cashier pulls the items out of the cart and scans them one by one. The handcuffs, the silver rope, leather paddle, the nipple clamps, and the pink garter you’ve selected all are placed inside of a black bag. Brendon swipes his card and gives a thank you before picking it up and guiding you out the door. You still can barely breathe. On the ride home, Brendon turns the radio on soft volume, just enough to fill up the silence that had lingered there before. He has on hand on the steering wheel, the other on your thigh, but it stays put. He doesn’t move it.

When you pull up to the driveway he gets out of the car, and you can pretty much tell that bedtime isn’t coming anytime soon. Especially after remembering the contents of the bag he’s holding. However, he doesn’t say anything about it. He simply hands it to one of his maids and whispers something incomprehensible to them before they head off up the stairs. You swallow down your nervousness and hold his hand as he leads you to the sofa. “Want to watch a movie?” he wonders.

“I’m kinda getting sleepy,” you admit.

“That’s alright,” he reassures. He waves down another one of his maids. “Can you please fetch one of my t-shirts from my wardrobe? Something a bit bigger for her to wear. As well as an evening outfit for me.”

“Yes sir,” they nod before rushing off.

“How many assistants do you have?” you pout. “A chef? A maid? A helper? A pool cleaner? The list goes on and on.”

“Too many,” he chuckles. “You’re right. But it is nice to give people a job if they need it.”

“I never really thought of it that way,” you shrug.

“I overpay them and take care of them, but they treat me wonderfully and they do their job exceptionally well,” he explains. “So I don’t have a problem with it. Besides, it’s going towards their families and wellbeing, and I have enough money to keep up with it.”

“Admirable,” you kiss him on the cheek.

The maid comes back with a baggy shirt, one with a beer brand on it, as well as sweatpants for him. He thanks them before slowly undressing you, then slipping you in his shirt, smiling. “You wear it well,” he beams. He then slides off his own clothes and puts on the sweatpants, staying shirtless. “Come here.” He curls you up on his lap by the touch and you snuggle into his arms, then he picks up the remote and opens up Netflix. He chooses some action film and you close your eyes, resting your head on his chest, sighing. The loud noises, flashing lights, huge explosions and occasional screaming didn’t bother you. You fell sound asleep in just a couple scenes in.

You stir awake when you feel two arms lifting you up from where you are, and you feel slight movement, beginning to mumble something. “Brendon?” you flutter your eyelids open, groggy and tired. “What’s happening? Is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me sweetheart,” he chuckles. “You kind of fell asleep. You’re really cute when you’re tired.”

“Whatever,” you grumble into his chest. “Just take me to your bed already.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice, princess,” he replies.

He lays you down on the bed, wrapping you up in the sheets, kissing your forehead. Then he lays beside you, pulling you on top of him, his arms around your waist. “Goodnight,” you murmur.

“You too, love,” he whispers. “Get some sleep.”

“D-didn’t you want to d-do stuff though?” you stammer before letting out a long yawn.

“It’s okay,” he shakes his head. “You go to bed.”

“You got all that stuff and everything I don’t want to ruin it,” you whine sleepily. “I can if you want to-”

“No,” he insists. “Please, go to sleep baby. It’s not like we’re never going to do this again. There will be other times. No pressure.”

“Are you sure?” you feel your eyelids getting heavy.

“Absolutely,” he chuckles. “Don’t worry about it. Just go to sleep. I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Alright,” you comply. “I love you.”

You’re almost fully asleep again before you hear his response, but it doesn’t matter. You know. You know he loves you. He doesn’t have to say it. He shows it. And you could never thank him enough.

#i love her anyway #miss jackson #ok i swear having to type and tag everyone with every single upload is taking 10 years off of my life #i suffer because i love you #honestly one of y'all could drop by my inbox and be like "i need you to translate the entirety of saudade into spanish #and i'd be like coming up bitch and crank it out one week later #OK PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THAT THO #my spanish is good but not THAT good #fucking shoot that thing into google translate #OK ANYWAY-#that was off topic #brendon urie fanfiction #brendon urie fanfic #brendon urie imagines #brendon urie smut #brendon urie x reader #brendon urie x reader imagine #brendon urie x reader fanfiction #brendon urie x reader smut

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bluerene · 6 years

Text

river, part one [starx]

it’s been a looooong while since I’ve really posted any writing (coughLIABILITYcough) but I’ve been working on this for a while and it feels worthy of being put up. Technically, the whole thing is meant to be a longass oneshot, but I figured that with tumblr’s format, it might just be better in shorter breaks.

I’ll post on ff.net once all the parts are uploaded here. I don’t think it’ll exceed 5?

things to note, uhhhhh, inspired by the hook from Eminem’s “River ft. Ed Sheeran”. also @fireflyxrebel ‘s blog bc starx <3 <3 <3 And my innate need to start new stories when I haven’t finished any. Post-Tokyo, sans kiss.

I invite critiques, requests, reblogs, and reviews (i.e. please tell me if it’s garbage :)!!!

without further ado, this is River.

I’ve been a liar, been a thief

been a lover, been a cheat

all my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me

Little one, I don’t wanna admit to something

If all it’s gonna cause is pain

Truth and my lies, now, are falling like the rain

So let the river run

I did it for the look on his face.

Man, you should’ve seen it. I think he might’ve stopped breathing. It only lasted for a moment, but damn, it was funny. Then he started throwing punches. She was dazed and pink but she managed to wiggle out of the red bands that strapped her to the wall. Her fists were clenched, but she didn’t look angry. Confused, stunned, maybe even a little curious.

The next bit was mostly a blur - I was busy dodging his fury, making little comments that only irked him more. I glanced over at her a few times. She was distracted, not really making a move to catch me. He was too busy dealing with me to notice that the only teammate at his disposal was a bystander.

Bird Boy knew my moves well. He landed a few nasty hooks, his steel shoes connecting with my chest once or twice. We were too evenly matched to make the fight come to a clean end. He anticipated the toys in my belt, from the x-shaped shurikens to the scarlet rubber bindings I enjoyed shooting so often.

I played the weakness. I glanced at her again, more noticeably, and raised my palms, prepared to strike.

It worked - he turned around and shouted her name, snapping her out of her thoughts. I shifted my aim and fired, wrapping him in thick red cords.

“Robin!” She shrieked, transferring something from her fist to her pocket.

“It’s been fun playing, kids,” I said calmly, “but I’ve gotta run.”

She was at his side immediately, peeling away the tightly wound bands.

“Hey, cutie,” I called, grinning at the sight of her crimson cheeks, “think about what I said.”

I gave them a two-fingered salute and tapped my belt, teleporting to the rooftop of the warehouse we were in. Ordinarily I’d try to get as far away from them as possible, but I was low on juice and until I replaced the Xenothium in the suit, I’d be stuck making short jumps - too short to escape their field of view.

“What the hell just happened, Starfire?” Ouch, he sounded pissed. Pissed and loud.

I positioned myself flat against the roof, straining to hear more.

“He escaped,” she said mournfully, “oh, Robin, I am truly sorry, I was...out of my skull?”

“Head,” he corrected, softening slightly, “what did X say to you? Where’s the paper he gave you?”

“He merely made another of the date comments,” her voice was meek and apologetic. I could picture her twisting her fingers nervously or playing with her hair, “and I... the paper was burnt by my starbolts.”

That made me do a double take. She was lying.

“He’s an asshole.”

“Indeed. But there is nothing we can do about him now, yes?”

He sighed tiredly, “yeah, whatever. He didn’t make off with much. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. We should head back, patrol wasn’t supposed to run so late.”

“Robin-”

“Don’t worry, Star. I’m fine, just frustrated. You’re right, there’s nothing that can be done right now.”

She seemed to accept this, not fighting back with any words as they exited the warehouse. I scooched closer to the edge of the roof, careful to keep out of view.

“Ride back with me?” He offered.

“Another time,” she replied, sounding alarmingly close, “I believe I require a midnight flight.”

I turned my head in what I assumed was her direction and - well, shit, there she was, floating with her back to me.

“Suit yourself. Don’t be too long, I’ll lockdown the tower after you’ve come in.”

“Thank you, Robin.” She turned and looked straight at me, lips pressed in a thin line.

I made a move for my belt, stopping when she shook her head. It was such an imperceptible movement, I was certain I had imagined it. But I obeyed anyway, waiting for the sound of the bike revving and speeding off into the night, until we were enveloped in silence once more.

She landed beside me and hoisted me up by the front of my suit, pushing me onto my feet. I stumbled back and shot her a glare.

“Ease up, cutie.”

“You do not get to speak to me in that manner,” she seethed, reaching into her pocket to retrieve a crumpled up piece of paper, “I will give you ten seconds to explain what this is before I throw you into the harbor.”

I shrugged, “it’s exactly what it looks like.”

“I do not understand. Even you are not stupid enough to give me-”

“My phone number? Stupid, no, interested, yes. Don’t try tracing it, you won’t get anywhere.” This wasn’t entirely true, but I was pretty confident she’d believe me.

“What did you hope to accomplish with this?”

“A date,” I said cheekily, “or a chat. I’ll be walking away from here with at least one, that’s for sure.”

She frowned, “I am still confused.”

“Me too, actually, why’d you lie to your boyfriend?”

She blanched, turning away quickly.

“He is not my boyfriend.” She muttered.

“Nuance,” I said smoothly, moving to stand beside her, “you still lied.”

“Would you have preferred I allow him to attack you?”

“Well, no, but I’m surprised you took my feelings into consideration.”

She shook her head, “it is not that. I am trying to understand you, and I do not think involving Robin would be of any help.”

“Oh? What do you wanna know?” I moved closer to her, praying that she wouldn’t crush my bones if we touched.

“Why do you do this, X?” She asked quietly, turning to face me, her fingers still clutching the scrap of paper I’d shoved into her hand twenty minutes earlier.

“I can’t help it if I like you, beautiful.”

She blushed and stepped out of my reach, shaking her head, “I am not referring to the flirting. I am referring to...the facade. The persona. X, you are capable of so much.”

Ohhhhhh, fuck. This was not where I wanted the conversation to go. I figured I’d tease her a little, flirt things up, play the game.

“You think too highly of me,” I said quickly, crossing my arms.

“I do not think that is true,” she replied, “you are strong and clever and you have aided us on several occasions. You could be a great asset to the Titans if you-”

“I’m not interested in being recruited, cutie,” I shot flatly, “I’m a thief. I do what I want, when I want. That’s all there is to me.”

“You are wrong. I know there is more.”

“You don’t know me.”

That shut her up. I felt bad, but not enough to take back what I’d said. I wasn’t wrong. She had no idea what she was talking about.

“Then let me.”

What?

“Excuse me?”

“Let me know you,” she said firmly, leaving no room for argument, “you have been persistent about taking me on an outing. I will go on a date with you, if you allow me the chance to truly know you.”

I shook my head, thankful that the mask hid my eyes which were probably the size of dinner plates.

“No way, cutie, you’re crazy.”

She shrugged, “perhaps I am, but I will not leave you with much of a choice. You will take me out on a pleasant excursion and allow me the opportunity to get to know you better. In return, I will not inform Robin of our conversation tonight, or give him this-” she brandished the slip of paper triumphantly.

“It’s a dead number anyways,” I lied, “go ahead, he’ll probably be more pissed at you anyways.”

Her eyes narrowed, lips curving into a smirk.

“You underestimate Robin. And you underestimate me.”

I had to smile at that, “Cutie, I would never underestimate you.”

“Marvelous. Then I shall contact you via this number to arrange an evening for our date. I would appreciate it if you cooperated, but it is not necessary, because this will happen either way,” she said briskly, rising into the air.

“One question,” I said, definitely not getting caught up in the sight of her long red hair flowing in the cool night air, “why are you doing this?”

She smiled slightly, “I believe in chances and goodness. Consequently, I believe you deserve to have and be both.”

“No, no,” I shook my head, “I meant the date.”

She blushed again, “conceivably...it could be fun.”

With that, she was gone, her exit accented by a bright green streak in the sky.

X’hal I must be insane.

Raven certainly thinks so. I told her what I had done - used Red X’s affections for me against him. She feels it is a terrible idea. I do not disagree.

I find him to be intriguing. He has proven himself to be worthy of the Titans time and time again, saving us, assisting us, often choosing to help rather than run. He claims his motives are his own, and perhaps they are, but I truly feel there is more to it.

To be clear, I am still very confused by many of his actions. I do not understand why he has chosen crime, nor do I understand why he flirts with me. I am not even sure the flirting is genuine.

Humans are such complex creatures. They err more often than not. Matters of honor hold great weight with some and no weight at all for others. Actions are coupled with intent to determine consequence.

Humans also veil their emotions. They feign kindness to disguise malice. Conversely, they can act cold to hide affection. I have seen it often with Robin.

Tamaranians are the opposite. We are compelled by our soul and our strength. We pride ourselves on our ability to feel, and express our feelings through touch rather than verbally. I have become quite accustomed to the various displays of physical affection humans utilize. High-fives and the bumping of fists in congratulations. Hugs for comfort, friendly kisses on foreheads and cheeks, sometimes hands as a means of being silly or flirtatious. Mouths with romantic intent. This, I find rather foreign.

Raven suggested, rather hesitantly, that I might have agreed to Red X’s request because I have been feeling lonely and I enjoy his attention. I know she did not mean to insult me, but I felt slightly affronted. Mostly because I could not disagree with this observation either.

I have long given up on Robin. Tokyo put a distance between us, an uncomfortable bubble that neither of us have been able to break. He is still my friend. I still love him. But I am tired of waiting.

Red X has always been amusing to me, though I try to hide it for Robin’s sake. I do not need his flirtations or compliments, but I certainly enjoy hearing them. It fills me with a strange feeling that twists in my stomachs and makes my heart work a little faster.

Thinking about it now, I realize accepting his offer may have been too bold of a move. I do not know where we will meet or what we will do or how we will dress. I have no alibi prepared, though I am sure Raven will allow me to use her as an excuse. I doubt Red X will tell me anything of true value. He may choose to use this date as an excuse to ‘put the moves on’ as Cyborg would say. It could very well be a wasted evening.

But, if anything, I do think it will be fun.

[end of part 1]

#starx #teen titans #starfire #red x #whoops my hand slipped #blue writes #fanfiction #robin #raven #beast boy #cyborg

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homospockual · 7 years

Text

fic: sinners, chapter 29 - “light”

warnings: language, mild violence and sexuality.

(A/N: I was going to put my full longass emotional author’s note here, but it was long. As fuck. If you want to read it, it’ll be at the bottom. For now, let’s spend some time with Luke.)

“This is new. He’s never sent a representative to get out of things before. Though I can understand the urge, Mr.….what did you say your surname was?”

“Castellan,” I supplied, taking a seat. God, no wonder Percy asked me to sub in for him. I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with academia, yeah, but just sitting here was less comfortable than facing a firing squad. Of course, the bullet might just bounce off. Hadn’t tested that one yet.

Principal Hawthorne took a seat across from me, folding her hands on the desk like she was about to show me an offer I couldn’t refuse. “And you are what to him?”

I fell into vivid memories of standing under warm water that became unnecessary when Percy came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist. The heater had nothing on a pretty boy nuzzling your neck just hours after some of the best sex in your life. Certainly the most memorable. I’d seen him rip people’s throats out both literally and figuratively, but the second he was touching me, it was like I was a priceless piece of art. He was a contradiction in terms. And when he nudged my ear, I could almost feel his eyelashes.

“He’s my cousin.” I managed.

Her mouth twisted quizzically. “You don’t look much alike.”

I laughed my best trust-me-I’m-beautiful laugh. “We get that a lot. My mom married a super aryan guy.”

Her smile was thin. “Luke, to be perfectly honest, your cousin’s track record is not good. Here or anywhere else.”

Runs in the family, I thought.

“While he hasn’t committed any delinquent offenses that we know of,” she continued, “he does have a rather signature talent for blatant disrespect.”

Something in my stomach tightened. “I’m sure it was for a good cause.”

“Does his mother have a collection of truancy notices to keep up?” Normally I don’t mind people who laugh at their own jokes, but this woman made me want to throw a punch. It must have shown, because she stopped quickly. I rearranged my face to friendly.

“All I’m asking is to refrain from immediate expulsion so he can consider his options.”

She studied me carefully, probably wondering what my stake in the future of a rule-flouting teenager was. I could have given the answer-kinda wanted to, just to see if it would get a rise out of her-but it was neither mortal- nor authority-friendly. Besides, she didn’t seem the type to believe it.

Finally, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the desk. “I do appreciate your professionalism, Mr. Castellan, but lessons need to be learned. I wouldn’t work in a school if I didn’t believe that.”

A spiteful part of me got a kick out of the fact that she fully bought into my responsible, respectable young adult charade. That was one definite upside to having secrets. The pathological lying became pretty easy. “There’s really nothing you can do?” I let a little bit of coldness slip into my tone. Pro tip: even adults are not immune to peer pressure. Nobody wanted to feel disappointing.

Principal Hawthorne sighed. “I can. But if we agree to keep him for the time being, you and his mother both need to impress upon him that there are only so many chances in life.” Her eyes glittered like arctic ice. “To be honest, I’m not sure how such a careless disturber of the peace came from what seems like a fine family.”

She said it in the just-between-you-and-me tone of adults who liked to talk shit about the kids in their lives. It made my blood boil.

I could see her watching my eyes harden. “Well, most of us aren’t that disappointed.”

“Really.” she said vaguely, going a second round on questioning my taste.

I stood. “I should get going. But thank you for your time and consideration. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

I left, my insides churning. This place made me thank gods I didn’t believe in that I’d had so little formal education. No wonder Percy never cared. The administrators clearly didn’t.

The day wasn’t nearly as overcast as I’d hoped for. I stuck to the shadows and was glad when I hit the narrow alleys I could speed through without worrying about sunburn.

Before I could get on my way, something grabbed the collar of my coat and jerked, hard.

“This is for Lord Ares.” somebody said, and a hit landed rock-solid under my ribs.

All I could think was, Already? I pulled out of their grip easily, but as soon as I whirled to face them, another punch caught me across the face. I hit the pavement, and my spine vibrated. Goddamn it, the sneaky element of surprise was my thing.

The assailant grabbed my ankles, and I got a good look. A boy, I thought, pale and freckled, with red hair the sun drew out like fire. I struggled to crane my neck, my chest tightening. He was dragging me towards the end of the alley. The sunlight crept up my legs-shins, kneecaps, thighs sinking into it like quicksand.

I kicked out, and he redoubled his grip, barely shaken. His calm expression was that of an extremist utterly confident in his role. The last face you’d see at a witch hunt before you burned.

The light slipped into cracks where my shirt had pulled out of the way.

My heels hit the pavement. I scrambled away unopposed and got to my feet.

A whirling dervish made of ripped denim tackled the Ares boy right off me and into the sun. One good, hard, shove, and the boy flew back towards me. My savior sprinted over, shoving his limp form against the wall for inspection.

I grinned. When I was right, I was so right.

Percy looked up, meeting my eyes, and gave me a crooked smile. “I don’t think this one will be bothering anyone for a while.”

I leaned against the bricks. “However can I repay you?”

He flexed his hands, examining the shiny pink burns standing out in streaks against his terra-cotta skin. “Some aloe, maybe?”

I helped him up, and he held my gaze, shoving me off-balance. I was supposed to be the vamp here. I had plenty of experience hypnotizing people with well-timed smiles and touches. I didn’t really have a game plan for being hypnotized.

Lucky for me, Percy cupped my jaw with his free hand and pulled my mouth down to his, rendering thinking both unnecessary and unlikely.

I wrapped an arm around his waist, tugging him closer. If this was a relationship, I could get used to it.

The Ares boy made an irritated noise. I guess he didn’t like people beating him up and then using PDA as a torture technique.

Percy twisted around, leaving my arms around him. “Shut up.” he said, not unkindly.

“You’re in a good mood.”

“Let’s see how long that lasts.” He frowned, stepping away from me to stare down Ares boy. “What are we gonna do with him?”

I smirked. “You hungry?”

The look in his eyes was one part incredulity, one part apprehension, one part pure, unadulterated bloodlust. He stepped close enough that only I could hear. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.”

“I know how you feel about needless killing.” I murmured. “I also know how you feel about people you care for getting hurt.”

His fingers flexed, wanting to clench into fists. I tried not to smile. My heart actually leapt. The cold anger at radiating off him was for me. He cared that much.

What? Seeing that fire in him flare because he wanted to protect me....well. It was more than anyone had done for me in a while. Besides, it reminded me of what that principal had said about him. I felt a surge of fierce pride. She could go fuck herself. That fire was the best thing about him.

“Luke.” He whispered, jolting me back to reality. “I know what to do.” He glanced back, and the boy froze where he was, giving up trying to escape. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll keep him alive.”

“What are you saying?”

“Ares’ acolytes want a war? They can have one.” A muscle feathered in his jaw. “They drew first blood, so we get his. We make him an example. And I get breakfast.” He caught me staring. “What?”

“You’re so hot when you’re vicious.”

He looked away, a flush spreading across his cheekbones. “So, good plan then?”

“Very good.” I smiled at the boy, baring my teeth. “Have fun.”

Percy glanced up, heat creeping into his eyes. “You gonna make me do this all by myself? Or do you just like to watch?”

My stomach dropped. The memories from the appointment earlier flooded back, along with a few from the night before he fought Ares. I was probably blushing too. He had a point.

Percy strolled towards the Ares boy, stretching his long, lean legs in a show of careless animal power. A sweet shiver ran through me. I almost wanted to send Ares a thank-you card for getting him punched in the alley near my boardinghouse. I watched his jeans tighten across his thighs as he knelt, watched his mouth work against the line of the boy’s throat, watched the way his eyebrows drew together with the tension of pleasure. All of a sudden I wished the plan wasn’t so sensible, so those fangs could be on my skin.

They say war makes monsters, or maybe monsters make war. Maybe both. I lean towards neither. Monsters are everywhere. They’re in everyone, and god only knows what will bring them out. Scratch that. Sometimes even gods don’t know. But some people-some of us are lucky enough to be well acquainted with the monster inside us. Some of us recognize it for what it is: power. Passion. A nature that transcends humans.

Maybe I’m just pretentious. But I’ve thought this through, either way. Some people use their monsters to rule. And those kings and queens-or sometimes, queens and queens or kings and kings-they are a force to be reckoned with.

Percy extended a hand to me, and I took it, kissing him until I didn’t know whose blood was whose.

^^^^

Wow. Here we are. When I thought about how to write this last series of scenes, I never sketched this part out. I sat at my computer for a while trying to think of something eloquent to say about this project, but all I can come up with is a fun fact most of you probably know already: start to finish, this took two full years to write. Which I guess isn't that crazy for something the size of a small novel. Felt like one too. Sinners got its hooks in me like only my original stuff has done before, which was simultaneously awesome and awful. I have always loved Percy like one of my own, but I've never gotten to lean in and touch him quite like this before, and it's immensely gratifying to find out there are people keeping tabs on your fingerprints. So continuing the vein of novelishness, I wanted to thank everyone who read this, be it one chapter or all 29. The first names that pop up in my head are Rhaps0dy, theoretically, W, and BlahBlahBleh, along with Katie, Alex, and Birdie, who elected to prove their friendship via a distinct reading-screaming schedule. And most of all, Taylor;. This fic wouldn't exist without their support, enthusiasm, and eye for editing.

#sinners au #lukercy #mine #mine: fic #pjo #hoo #swearing //

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