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strayed-quokka · 1 year

Text

lacking in subtlety || kim sunwoo

» summary: it was a bad idea to like your brother’s best friend. it was an even worse idea to let him into your room when your brother was one door down.

» pairing: sunwoo x female reader

» rating: NC-17 minors do not interact

» genre: brother’s best friend, smut, porn without much plot but there’s backstory i guess

» warnings: dominant sunwoo (kinda?), he’s also a bit possessive, i guess submissive reader, oral (m and f receiving), creampie, his hand finds your throat but there’s no actual pressure, vague exhibitionism (?), sunwoo gets caught but he kinda asked for it, the beginning takes ages whoops, open ending cause i’m annoying, one use of good girl and some pet names

» words: 4,738

» a/n: i know i’ve done brother’s best friend before but i’m a hoe for that concept aight deal w it… also i have like… 20+ smuts for the boyz in my drafts i don’t know what’s going on anymore but i’m thinking either juyeon next because hands or a threesome with moonbae because it’s been sitting in my drafts and lord is it wild

also i know i disappeared but life happens and also people were stealing my work so i wasn’t really in the mood to write anything for anyone but here we are i’m back cause i wanna indulge ✌️

You’d never been much of a risk taker. In fact, on paper, you probably looked quite boring, good grades, a nice set of friends, never misbehaving, all of it lined up to make you rather uninteresting. That’s why when the shift from seeing Juyeon’s best friend Sunwoo, as someone more than a simple acquaintance happened, you simply ignored it.

He’d never find you interesting enough.

Though you were friends in a way too. Your brother was comfortable enough with Sunwoo never getting too close to you in that regard, and so the two of you would often interact even if he wasn’t there.

But the conversations were usually rather generic. Exchanges of how your days were, maybe the occasional comment about an outfit the other wore, but never anything beyond that. You still remembered coming downstairs in an oversized hoodie one day and Sunwoo jumping on the question to ask where you got it. He wore the same one in a different colour a few days later, and you swore he knew how flustered it made you.

You knew him, but you didn’t know him in a way that you knew friends. Nevertheless, you were always comfortable with him, even comfortable enough that during movie nights, if you happened to be around, lying next to him or even against him was deemed completely normal.

You’d done it since you were little, and so even once it shifted from being simply platonic to something that made your heart race as you got older, Juyeon never once questioned it. He never felt the need to and neither did Sunwoo. You weren’t sure if he was simply oblivious or intentionally ignoring the way you felt, but you were relieved either way.

Juyeon never noticed that your first semester back from university, Sunwoo started to get more physical towards you. His arm being wrapped around you wasn’t new, but where he let his hand rest was. You still remembered the first time it fell on your hips, but it stayed unmoving and almost felt like an unintentional accident.

Though with Sunwoo, nothing was unintentional. He thought you were beautiful and incredibly hard to resist, but he tried. He tried by simply leaving little hints, hints that could mean nothing or everything at the same time, and hints that Juyeon wouldn’t notice or brush off because Sunwoo wouldn’t cross that line. He’d never be so stupid.

Sunwoo didn’t want to cross the line, but there was only so much self control he had. Especially when you never, not once, rejected anything that he did.

You’d just finished your first year at university, enjoying the start of your summer break, when things shifted again. Trying to get used to Sunwoo drawing patterns on your hip or nuzzling up to you could never have prepared you.

The weather was terrible, a summer storm looming outside with the sound of rain crashing against the window as a random horror movie played that you lost interest in within the first twenty minutes, and you could tell Sunwoo didn’t care for it much either. Horror movies were Changmin’s thing, and maybe you should’ve been nice and invited your best friend along for the evening.

You were leaning against Sunwoo, his arm around you and fingers resting on your hip with a blanket draped over your bare legs and a part of your waist.

Juyeon was on the opposite side, a bowl of near empty popcorn on his lap with a blanket around his own figure.

Sunwoo shifted, the blanket slipping off your body though he caught it and covered you again, and you would’ve likely barely reacted if it weren’t for his fingers moving over your bare thigh. Your breath caught in your throat, and you tried to hide it with a cough though Sunwoo knew better.

Though just because he knew better, didn’t mean he was about to risk it entirely.

He’s slow, as if trying to calculate all the risks in the scenario he’s in, including both your potential rejection and Juyeon seeing what he’s up to, so it’s incredibly delicate as his fingers move under the thin blanket and to the hem of your oversized shirt, pushing it up above your hips.

Your eyes widen, looking down though the skin he’s exposed lies very much hidden over the thin fabric that’s keeping you warm. You feel like you’re burning and can’t breathe, trying to regulate it without raising any suspicion.

Sunwoo doesn’t feel your rejection, though he takes the time to whisper as quietly as he possibly can, “say stop and I will.”

You look over to Juyeon, but he hasn’t heard. It’s both a relief and a thrill, and you only nod to Sunwoo, tilting your head slightly upwards and to the side, eyes rested on his plump lips that had just hovered by your ear.

His fingers twist around the thin lace laying over your hip bone before he runs his hand down your thigh. He’s meticulous and painfully slow, but the result is that if you didn’t know any better, even you wouldn’t suspect much of anything. And the thrill of it all leaves you embarrassingly wet.

You’re impatient too, and maybe it’s a mistake, but you push his hand just enough to rest in between your thighs. Sunwoo isn’t stupid either, he knows exactly what you want and exactly what you’re craving, and he’s more than willing to give it to you now that you’ve cleared up any potential misunderstanding of your motives.

That’s the problem. Sunwoo has always been more than willing to do anything you ask, even when he shouldn’t. Whilst Juyeon had never explicitly stated that you were off limits, he knew that you were. He could have anyone he wanted. Anyone but you.

And you’re exactly what he wanted.

He’s teasing you, mostly because he doesn’t have a choice if he wants to remain discreet, but also because he likes it. He likes seeing you react, how you bite your lip and try to push your legs apart just enough for him to have his fingers between without the movement being too obvious. Sunwoo pushes into you as a response, and you can feel his cock against your ass.

This was bad. You were both stuck here, and you were feeling incredibly hot and desperately trying to be quiet.

“Are you okay?” he says it loudly, and you can’t believe the nerve he has to ask you right in front of Juyeon. Your brother looks over at you, concern on his face as Sunwoo’s fingers stop right back on your hip.

“What’s wrong?” there’s genuine concern there, and now you wonder what you look like.

“She feels warm. Fever?”

You want to hit him, but the only way you retaliate is to shift around with the way you’re lying, purposely pushing against him. You hear the angry hiss leave his throat, but it’s so quiet, similar to a low growl, so you don’t think Juyeon hears it, or if he does, he assumes it’s because your shuffling around must’ve kicked his friend.

“Do you wanna sleep? We can watch this another time,” you nod at your brother, for as much as you very much enjoy the lines you’re crossing, the gamble doesn’t seem worth it with him right here. That, and in some way, you respect your brother just a little too much.

“I’m gonna have a cold shower,” you twist your body up, ensuring the blanket is still on Sunwoo as he lets you go and repositions on his side, “night Juyeon. Sunwoo.”

You hug your brother goodnight, retaliating by hitting Sunwoo’s ass over the blanket, making him yelp and glare your way as you disappear into the bathroom.

Fucking hell, did that just happen?

You can’t believe it. The immediate guilt sinks in for what you’ve done. It’s obvious to you, just how deep your crush and sexual attraction for Sunwoo has gotten, but a part of you wishes you could still suppress it.

The water is ice cold when it hits your skin and you let out a squeal, eventually rinsing yourself off and washing your hair, attempting to snap out of the constant daze and addiction that is Kim Sunwoo. But the more you let him be in your mind, the more he refused to leave, and the worse your thoughts got.

Maybe you just needed to get laid. It had been a while since your ex (who you conveniently enough, don’t think Sunwoo liked), and now you were in a state of such frustration that you were taking it out onto the only man available in the house.

Though desire was a funny thing.

It just wouldn’t go away.

You lay awake for hours, staring up at your ceiling with only one person on your mind. There’s no doubt you’re losing it, unable to sleep for every time you close your eyes, it’s the same thought and wish for a dream over and over again.

You resort to the only form of advice you can run to. Changmin.

“It’s two in the fucking morning, please,” he groans, his voice rough and tired, and it really doesn’t help your sexual overdriven hormones. It’s not like you were attracted to your best friend, but his rough voice combined with everything else sent you into a near meltdown. Maybe you should just ask him to sleep with you.

“I want to fuck Sunwoo,” it’s quiet. You’re not sure if Changmin has to think about what you said first before he reacts, or if he just has no idea how to react, but eventually you hear him shuffle around and speak.

“I ehrm… I’m not sure what you want me to say to that,” he pauses again, clearing his throat, “does Juyeon know?”

“What the hell do you think?”

“Yikes, you really do need to get laid,” you nearly scream before remembering that any loud noise is going to garner unwanted attention from the two men that are either just downstairs or down the hall from you, so you suppress your agony instead, “why Sunwoo, though?”

“Have you not seen him?”

“I mean… not recently,” you sigh, rolling onto your side to look out the window. The rain seems endless, so you can’t exactly expect Changmin to get up and walk here to keep you company.

“You’re staying up with me.”

“I’m tired,” he groans, enough for you to briefly feel bad. Though one of your biggest flaws is your stubbornness and your best friend knows that.

“If I have someone else give you company, will you let me sleep?”

“Who’s crazy enough to come out at-”

There’s an abrupt cut on the other line, and you realise Changmin’s hung up. He either had a death wish or a plan, maybe both, and honestly, neither were comforting to think about.

A knock on the door breaks you out of it, half expecting your brother or maybe both of the boys to walk in, but it’s only Sunwoo. Immediately, you feel the need to wrap your blanket over your bare legs, “come in?”

He finally steps inside, leaving the door slightly ajar as he approaches you. He’s still in the same sweatpants and shirt from earlier, his hair more ruffled and messy from the constant laying down. He looks so inviting, his lips so full and his eyes so entrancing. It’s pure torture.

“Changmin messaged me,” you pale, and now you’ve decided that he really does have a death wish, “want to explain?”

He holds his phone out to you, a message from a number you can recite by heart sent just a minute ago.

Y/N wants to sleep with you. Double meaning implied. Leave me out of it.

“What the fuck Chan-,”

“Is it true? Double meaning implied?” he smirks, and you realise quickly that to him it’s become a bit of a game to see how far he can push and taunt you until you either decide it’s enough or give in. You’re not sure why Sunwoo suddenly got so confident, though you suppose he always has been, the only difference now is that he knows how you’re thinking.

“You don’t have to cover up. It’s quite warm,” his voice is low, but you doubt it’s out of worry for Juyeon hearing him. He’s right as well. It may be raining outside, but it’s incredibly hot in here, and you let him when he asks to remove the fabric over your bare legs, taking a seat at the edge of your bed.

“Are you… still watching that movie?”

“Finished it. And two others. Juyeon went to bed, it’s literally been hours,” you nod, wondering if he really is two doors down from you, fast asleep. Maybe he’s scrolling through his phone or doing god knows what else.

“And you?”

“Well…” he starts, his fingers moving up along your left leg and causing shivers to run along your skin, “see, I have a bit of a problem.”

You may regret asking, but curiosity gets the better of you and you feel like you’re damned to hell. That, and the fact that maybe you really don’t care at all anymore, about any of the risks, “which is what?”

He grins, and it’s a smile that tells you he has something on his mind that thrills him and intoxicates you. Sunwoo comes closer, resting the palm of one hand on your inner thigh to push your legs apart, his lips right by your ear, “I really need to know how sweet you taste.”

Your resolve breaks. Maybe it was broken before, but it’s definitely shattered now. A whimper falls past your lips and now he’s right above you, watching with eyes like you’re his prey.

“Am I allowed, sweetheart?”

It happens fast, the way you grip his shirt and pull him down until your lips meet. His lips are slightly salted, likely from the popcorn, and he’s quickly pushing his tongue between your lips and gripping you harder by your thigh. He’s rough, a little forceful with it, but you like the dominance he holds over you.

“Fuck, you have no idea how hard it’s been to resist you,” he leaves open mouthed kisses down your neck, one of his hands slipping under your shirt to grope your breasts, playing with the sensitive flesh and hardened nipples, twisting slightly as you mewl underneath him.

He’s overwhelming you. Sunwoo always has a way for your senses to go into overdrive, but with what he’s doing now, you can’t think.

“P-please,” you sound pathetic, but he’s nice enough to listen. At least you thought he was.

“Let’s play a game,” oh no. He’s pulling you up, until you sit with your legs over the bed, planted firmly on the floor as your eyes find the still open door.

You’d forgotten it was open. Sunwoo, however, clearly hadn’t, “what game?”

He’s down on his knees before you, his shirt discarded before you can even blink, and it takes a while to adjust to the naked chest and muscular build he’s always hidden from you. You tremble just at the thought, watching him closely as he repositions your legs onto his shoulder, pulling himself closer to you, “see how quiet you can be with that door open, sweetheart.”

You should be scared. The risk of getting caught has exponentially grown with the factor of an open door, but you feel his teeth lightly dig into the flesh by your upper thigh and you seem to forget everything else. It’s like he’s telling you to pay attention to only him, with each sharp sting of his teeth that leaves your skin red.

Something about it you love. The dominance maybe, or maybe the possessive nature in which he litters your skin in angry red marks that you want to have, “look at me.”

It’s demanding, but you barely hear it first until his fingers dig into your thighs, pushing your legs just slightly more apart, and you sit up just a little to meet his eyes. He almost looks dangerous, near possessed in his hunger for you, and suddenly you’ve never felt more attractive in your life.

He makes you feel wanted, and maybe that’s enough to explain why you’ve always been pushed towards him like a magnet. Even if you knew him at a surface level, he’s always been attentive to you in the little things.

You nearly curse the world the minute Sunwoo delicately lays a kiss over your clothed clit, and it’s frustrating how that alone damn near makes you see stars. Such a simple touch of his lips should not feel like the end for you, and yet it does. You grip his hair before you can help yourself, pushing him between your legs as he chuckles, “are you that desperate?”

“Shut up,” his nails dig into you harder, a scowl on his face as he nearly drags you down further, and you nearly yelp when your underwear is pushed to the side and his full lips meet your bare folds.

“F-fuck,” he doesn’t respond to you. Either he’s off in his own world or he’s intentionally ignoring you as punishment for the way you run your mouth, but you’re in heaven, though it feels like the greatest sin that’ll have you sent straight to hell.

You’d never have said you were a very vocal person in the bedroom. Even if someone made you feel good, your moans were usually quiet, more breathy and whispered than they were loud, but Sunwoo made you want to scream, and knowing you couldn’t made it so much worse.

Sunwoo seemed to know what he wanted, because without much warning, he’s letting his index finger graze your folds and it’s near embarrassing just how much of your juices coat his finger when he does, bringing it up to your lips, “are you gonna be good?”

You nod, desperate as you take his finger in your mouth, sucking on it like you would his cock, the taste slightly sweet while he’s back between your legs. You feel like your senses are going into overdrive, moaning as you take one of your hands and grip his hair, pushing his tongue deeper between your folds, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“S-Sunwoo, p-please,” you want to cum, and it feels like you’re so close, but it’s like he wants to remind you just how insufferable he is as he pushes back the second you feel like you may tip over the edge.

The whine that releases in your throat is loud and pathetic, and you both share a wide look of shock and worry because what if Juyeon heard it.

A minute passes, the only noise in the room being both of your heavy breathing, and when Sunwoo decides that Juyeon likely hasn’t woken up, his attention is back on you, “take off your shirt.”

You nearly don’t hear him, too busy staring at his swollen lips that glisten just slightly under the moonlight bleeding into the room, and he looks so beautiful that you feel like you’re falling for him right in that very moment, completely.

“You need to stop staring like that. It’s not good for my heart,” his words make your head spin just as they put you into action, stripping off the very little you have on until you’re entirely naked.

Sunwoo just stares first, and you wonder if maybe you should cover yourself but the minute you reach for the blanket, he’s stopping you, “don’t you dare.”

It’s rough, a demand that you listen to, especially when his fingers grip your chin to look up at him, “you look far beyond what I ever dreamed of.”

“You dreamed about me?”

He grins, leaning down to kiss you as you let yourself go, back hitting the mattress as he hovers over you, “all the time.”

“Tell me,” you wanna hear it. Want to hear what you do to him, when this entire time you just thought that Sunwoo was the one making you crazy.

“How good you must look with my cock inside you. You’d probably take it so well,” you’re nodding, whimpering slightly as he’s bruising your neck, and your hands are playing with the waistband of his sweatpants, asking without a word for him to take them off.

It’s a relief to you that he listens, until you’re both entirely naked though you’re the one left salivating at his hardened cock. A little above average but thick, making you feel like you’re going dumb staring at him, “you wanna open that pretty mouth for me?”

You feel him grip your thigh and push you to the edge of the bed again, your face eye level with his waist, and it’s almost instinctual for you to part your lips, the tip of his cock laid flat on your tongue until you take him deeper.

It becomes clear to you that you underestimated his girth, your jaw quickly sore but you don’t want to accept it either, relaxing your muscles as you swirl your tongue underneath the base of his shaft, moaning around his cock, eyes finding his to see that he’s already staring at you with such darkened lust that you feel like he desires only you, and it makes your head spin.

“Just a little more, good girl,” his praise goes right to your core, making you shake and he notices, fingers tugging at your hair as you take him just a little more, your mouth so full that you have to release him and gasp for air, but Sunwoo doesn’t mind for a second that you need to pull away.

Especially not when his patience is running thin with what he really wants.

You watch him step away from you, making you nearly cry out and complain but he moves to sit up with his back against the headboard, tapping his thigh as if inviting you onto his lap, and you don’t need to be told twice to obey his wishes. He grabs your waist when you’re close enough, and in a way it’s gentle as he guides you, straddling him and making his cock ache against your bare cunt, your juices coating him as he tries to steady his breathing.

“F-fuck, you sure you want this?”

He looks pained, like he would shatter if he had to stop now, but you also see in his eyes that he’s genuine. That he’s giving you one last out if you want to take it. Fortunately for you both, you don’t want to.

“Yes, p-please Sunwoo?”

It’s the desperation in your voice that releases something primal in him, the last bit of reserve leaving him as he lifts your thighs with a harsh grip that makes you see stars, aligning his cock against your entrance. He’s careful and slow, which at first you want to cry about, but you quickly realise that he has to be slow or he may hurt you, your body having to adjust to how tight it’s gripping him.

“G-god, have you never been fucked before?”

“Not like t-this,” your mouth hangs open, eyes shut as he feels his possession of you grow, and it does things to him knowing that it’s only him that’s got you squeezing around his cock like it’s your first time.

“There you go,” the praise makes you whimper again, clenching around him and Sunwoo nearly sees stars when he realises how much you like to be praised and told you’re good for him.

He feels like you’re cursing him straight to hell with the thoughts you’re giving him, something primal in him awakening, leaving him barely able to wait for you to let him move.

“P-please, m-more,” the open door has been forgotten the second Sunwoo lifts you off his cock before slamming into you, making you nearly scream in pleasure though he muffles it with his hand, alarmed though not near enough to have him stop. He doesn’t think he can, not with the way you feel around him, meeting the thrusts of his hips halfway as you bounce on his cock.

“S-Sunwoo, m-more,” he groans, eyes falling between the way he disappears inside you and your lips, and he knows he can never return to seeing you the way he did before, not now that he knows he’s gotten his hands on you.

“I want you to belong to me,” it should maybe be alarming, to hear him lay claim on you like this, but to you it’s the sexiest thing anyone’s said to you, and honestly, you know you already do.

“F-fuck, yes,” your movements quicken, his hand finding the base of your neck, just to grip onto you but not adding any pressure, but the action is enough to urge you on, like you want to do more for him and he hisses at the way your wrapped around him so tight and willing.

“Good, y-you do so good,” Sunwoo feels like he’s burning, gripping both your hips when he feels you lose control at his praise, keeping you in place with a vice hold that might even bruise, and you know you’re going not going to last. Not when you see the way his eyes are glazed over and never leaving you, his hair clinging to his forehead and his muscular chest moving rapidly as he breathes.

“Sunwoo, I-”

“I k-know baby,” his voice is smooth, but his pace is feverish and rough, and his neck presents itself to you just as the scale tips and you’re releasing your orgasm, biting into the skin of his shoulder to hide your pleasured screams of his name, the cries and the pathetic way he makes you whimper and see stars.

The pressure and pain from your teeth and knowing why you bit him just as you grip his cock harder inside your walls has him spilling his cum into you before he can properly warn you, but you don’t seem to mind at all as his lips fall to your shoulder, muffling his own breathing as you both come down from your high.

His hands find your back, nails grazing the skin gently before he’s just holding you in his arms, wincing slightly from the way you’re stimulating his cock even now, but when he tries to pull away from you, you grip onto him tighter.

“P-please,” he nearly wants to cry, head falling back against the headboard as he looks up, trying to collect himself and maybe even think about what he’s just done. But all that runs through his mind is how you’re keeping him in place, gripping him, whimpering and willing and his, and he’s forgetting every possible consequence to his insane actions.

“I’m a dead man,” you laugh, properly for the first time in a while and it makes him smile, and as much as he wants to keep you over him, to fill you up, he’s also a little more than relieved when you fall next to him because he’s not sure he could’ve handled the overstimulation any longer without being the one to beg.

“So is Changmin,” even if your best friend will likely ask you questions, and likely throw it in your face that he did you a favor, you still very much want to kill him. Sunwoo chuckles, brushing his fingers against your shoulder gently, and the way his eyes are watching you so softly now makes your head spin.

“Kim Sunwoo, put your fucking clothes on or I will drag your naked ass out anyway, you’re dead,” both of you tense, simultaneously looking to the ajar door, though you can’t actually see Juyeon, you just very much know he’s there. You guess it could be considered kind of him to not just barge in, but it almost makes you more embarassed because if he’s not walking in, he knows exactly why he shouldn’t and there’s no way out for either of you.

You expect Sunwoo to be more ashamed or worried, but he sends you a cheeky grin and kisses your forehead before stumbling over to his discarded grey sweats.

“Well, guess I have to go princess,” and while you’re left blushing, incredibly embarrassed, his bashfulness makes you smile, even when you know that Sunwoo is very much screwed.

“Y/N, you too. Now.”

And so are you.

waiting to be chased for the open ending but it just wasn’t important to the story to add what happens there so...

anyway thank you to everyone for reading, commenting and liking my work even while i was gone :) there will be more cause like i said... moonbae threesome and juyeon hands whoops

on a rather serious note though, please do not plagiarise my damn work. i spend hours on it and while i was grateful to be tagged and made aware of what was happening to me and other writers, it really makes it hard to even have motivation to write and dedicate that time if someone just takes it. i understand similarities in ideas because that happens (like please, as if i’m the first to do brothers best friend), but to copy paste is just beyond disrespectful and i’m tired of it.

tbz masterlist

#the boyz smut #sunwoo smut #kim sunwoo #the boyz sunwoo #sunwoo x reader #smut #the boyz #the boyz sunwoo smut #tbz x reader #tbz #changmin is your best friend #juyeon is your brother #the new comeback is making me feral for these men again #so you will probably see this a lot lately

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decepti-thots · 4 months

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☕ MTOs & specifically what do you think they were going for with that?

MTOs are an interesting narrative thing to me in the sense that they really are so localised to only one part of the canon; they're very clearly Roberts' idea and only really matter, inasmuch as they do matter, in MTMTE. It's pretty clear to me that's the case for one specific reason: they'd actually fit SUPER well into the narrative arc of exRiD, especially early-to-mid RiD, but they basically never come up! You'd think 'neutrals and soldiers stuggling to cohabit socially and politically' would be prime fodder (lmao) for taking advantage of a narrative about mechs born of and into war coming back to a civilian life on a planet they really don't know. And yet.

What they're doing in that comic, in MTMTE, is a little headscratching to me at times. It feels, to be honest, somewhat like worldbuilding put in to make the texture of the backstory of the war feel grander than IDW had really managed up to that point in actual on-panel stuff, without a lot of thought when doing so in the moment as to the knock on implications going forward. MTMTE does this a few times, tries to use vague gestures at important sounding stuff to bring a greater sense of history and depth to the war in the face of the actual stuff we saw in phase one being. Mmmm. Basically just twenty dudes we already know shooting at each other across parking lots. LMAO.

(Sidenote: I know for a fact Roberts watched original flavour nuWho, and this is PEAK Russell T Davies doing worldbuilding when he was on Doctor Who, and I fully believe he was cribbing from that playbook. Every damn episode RTD would make them just sort of say stuff about the Time War that made it sound incredibly vast and textured and complex but which, crucially, never made any actual fucking sense. Good examples of stuff like this would be the Crucible, the Simanzi massacre, etc. This is, to be clear, a neutral observation, not praise or criticism per se.)

I say this because MTOs should probably be a bigger deal in terms of the impact on our cast, and their outlook on life and reasons for joining the quest, than they wind up being. An MTO is a character with no experience of living in peacetime at all, likely no experience of Cybertron, no sense of kinship or home necessarily to the planet they came "back" to. All of this provides a really clear motivation, given the implication most surviving non-neutral Cybertronians are now MTOs due to huge numbers of deaths, to join a quest like the Lost Light's! But it tends not to come up much, and I think it's because it wasn't really part of the plan. Later on, there's room to slot in some details here and there- Riptide talking about his experiences with being infodumped at by the 'training' comes to mind- but it takes a while for the comic to come back round to that.

The two big exceptions, of course, are Getaway and Brainstorm. The idea is definitely interacting with their characters more, though again, it... tends to come up later. Especially for Getaway, who I'm not convinced was originally conceived as an MTO, but had it slotted in a bit later as 'well that works' stuff tbh. (And it does, so that's fine!) Which leaves Brainstorm, who lies about being forged to throw off suspicion, who it's implied never got the time of day from Quark in a way I wouldn't be surprised we're supposed to assume is some kind of remaining bias, perhaps. Who didn't see a future for himself 'back on Cybertron' and so concocted a very weird plan to avoid having to. Who never got a choice about his 'side' in the war, and wound up with no real loyalty for anyone.

I think if there's any avenue I'd have liked to see more about MTOs via, it's Brainstorm. I wish there'd been more room to focus on that instead of (I'm so sorry shippers) his thing with Perceptor as the way to talk about his sense of inadequacy, tbh. What did it feel like, lying to Chromedome about remembering a pre-war life he never got a chance to experience? Being made to shoot people and be shot and escaping the fate of having that be the only thing he ever knew by the skin of his teeth? Not being able to imagine an end to the war, so all he wants to do is save one guy and run off with him as a pipe dream? That seems like the character where a lot of this stuff should naturally lie, to me. And I think it's a shame I've seen very little talk in fandom about it!

#ask meme

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goiterinthegullet · 4 months

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Tuco in "The Good the Bad and The Ugly" is honestly amazing

I've been watching TGTBTU (tuguttubutu) again recently and just thinking about how, unlike any other character in the movie, Tuco is the most human. I mean, Angel Eyes and Blondie are incredible, well-acted, compelling, aesthetically-grabbing, but you've got to admit they're rather alien, in a weird kind of way.

Angel Eyes is obviously evil to a classic standard, wanting nothing but to cause mayhem for extremely vague reasons related to general self-preservation and/or greed, and his reasons are much less important to the narrative as opposed to the threat he represents. Sure, he's got a bit of a past, but we never even learn his real name. He's an excellent villain, a perfect character in one of my favorite movies ever, but like Maleficent or Ursula or Scar, he's just that. A villain, and I love it, but it's definitely not "human", at least in an emotional sense.

And Blondie? Sure, its different obviously but his whole schtick is that he literally never tells us anything about him. We don't know his name, his heritage, his backstory, hardly anything. Anything we do know is just sorta vaguely picked up or known in a more personality way, like seeing how he responds to situations with complexity while never actually divulging anything more tangible.

But Tuco? Tuco? He's a creepy little criminal with a brother in the priesthood and two dead parents he hasn't seen for nine years. He used to have a wife somewhere, his eyes filled with tears upon hearing of his parents death. He's got more names than Blondie or Angel Eyes could ever hope to carry: Tuco Benedicto Pacífico Juan María Ramírez. He carries his name and his hastily-drawn sign of the cross everywhere he goes, gleefully cheats and steals and is genuinely a piece of sh/t, but also brags about how his brother is the "leader of the whole abbey!" after being thrown out by said brother who is also hurting. He's greedy and strange and a fantastic with a gun (prefers pistols to revolvers) and will sell anybody out for a nickel, and he's just so human.

Angel Eyes and Blondie don't try to not tell you anything about themselves. They're not interested in talking, albeit for different reasons, and would probably take it in stride if you did find anything out, but Tuco? Tuco is the only person who actually doesn't want you to know anything while simultaneously never being able to shut up. It's important to not use your own name in the brutal world they live in, a statement said by Tuco himself, and yet he's constantly speaking in a pseudo third-person, naming himself in a way that reveals how much he misses the life he left behind and even regrets the life he currently leads while also, and this is very important, totally vibing with his current life of debauchery and violence.

He's us. He's me. I think when watching movies, projecting onto characters is expected and even encouraged, but it's easy/enjoyable to see ourselves in those that are untouchable. Strange. Interesting. Vague enough to be Romantically projected upon I guess. But Tuco? He's got so much stuff to him it's spilling off the sides. He's pathetic, annoying, somehow worse than Angel Eyes, and that's how I am. That's how most people are. Sure, I've got a conscience, and I can say pretty proudly I'm leading a better life than Tuco over here, but like. Hurting, a little stupid, wanting to seem like Blondie or Angel Eyes (enigmatic, stoic), but coming off as overwhelmingly talkative and annoying instead, lashing out when accidentally becoming vulnerable, a walking contradiction, feeling my faults but never actually fixing them because, on some level, I haven't taken responsibility for my own actions? Tuco. We're Tuco.

#the good the bad and the ugly #tuco ramirez #the dollars trilogy #movie analysis #literally me #sergio leone

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bluegekk0 · 6 months

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If anything I think you should speak more, because I love everything you write (and draw.) You've been one of my biggest inspirations to go back and give all of my ocs actual stories instead of just designs.

In fact, ever since you mentioned having non-fpk family ocs before, I have been incredibly curious.

Please feed me all of the information like a bird feeding its young, except its letters going into my eyes instead of food going into my mouth

you have no idea how much that warms my heart, i'm really flattered that you see me as an inspiration. it's all i could really ask for

i do have some ocs, yeah. though i will say, the fpk au characters are definitely outliers when it comes to the amount of personality and lore they have. most of my ocs have very basic backstories, and many of them only do because i used to roleplay as them with my friends. a lot of my original designs that i'm attached to don't even have names, let alone personalities

since i'll be posting a lot of pictures, i'll throw this under a read more so it's not too long

i guess i'll start with my oldest oc, a lion king character who used to be my "fursona" (well not exactly, since i've never considered myself a furry. but persona wouldn't fit here) years ago, back in 2012 i believe. she went through a lot of changes over the years, but i've settled on a design that i really like

her name is swahibu (used to be swahili, i wasn't particularly creative, and i changed it recently since it was a bit awkward for her to be named after the entire language hahaha), and she has a little brother named kobe. their lore isn't anything too elaborate, they're essentially scar's grandchildren who used to be outlanders, but after the events of the second movie joined the pridelands. swahibu is bitter and a bit mean, but cares very much about her little brother. she got her scars in a fight with rogue lions which unfortunately ended with their mother's death, so they're now on their own. kobe is a smart cub, and brings a bit of joy and innocence to his big sister's life. as they both resemble their grandfather more than they'd like, they're often the object of nasty comments from those who lived under his tyrannical rule, though they do eventually earn the pridelanders' respect. not much else to say about them, except that i like to hc swahibu as gay. also, they have a very simple family tree that i made to show what their parents looked like, here (might not work if you don't have a deviantart account, but i'm not sure)

next up, there's a character i've considered my persona for quite some time, and one i used to put in many funny scenarios with my friends' ocs. he also changed the most out of all of them throughout the years, and recently i gave him a more furry like design as i hate drawing human faces haha

his name is rick, and he's a hybrid of all kinds of different animals. he's very laid back and lazy, though the fact that he's a hybrid gives him some animal-like traits and behaviors. he used to have a backstory but it's kind of stupid so i'm considering changing it, but he was basically created in a lab and then released after it was shut down. now he lives on his own with his cat, jon. he's one of those characters who are very flexible, so if i wanted to, i could modify him to fit into any scenario (for example, he used to have an assassins creed universe version which i used for roleplay years ago hahaha). not much else to say since i'm still in the (slow) process of changing him

i also have a lot of dragon characters, most of them were made for the purpose of a larger roleplay story with my friends. in general i take 'dragon' as a very vague term, since to me a dragon can look however you want and all those classification rules are kinda stupid. but you'll still a bit of, idk, i guess a paleoart like direction for their designs, since i like speculative biology and such. also, some of these originated as heavily based on some of my favorite characters at the time, you'll see that with the first one especially

his name is stark and he's probably the dragon that has the most lore behind him. i won't go into too many details regarding the backstory since it's long and very connected to the roleplay (you know, bit of a "you just had to be there" moment haha). but tl;dr he was taken in by a village and raised from hatchling, so he's very docile and a little bit confused. the village was attacked and he was able to survive, but one of his legs was scarred pretty badly, so he noticeably limps while walking. he's a semi-aquatic dragon, so he's an excellent swimmer. funnily enough, he went through a complete "reboot" a few years ago. in the original rp, he was a massive asshole, he'd hurt others for his own amusement and was generally very aggressive and not pleasant to be around. also, he had a prosthetic leg, though i scrapped that as it was far too advanced for the setting i envisioned him in. i much prefer this direction, i love my giant himbo gator-dragon. and i wonder how many of you can guess what character was the inspiration for his appearance (it used to be a lot more obvious in his first design iterations)

(and no, his wing isn't missing. this is just to show his back haha)

these next three don't really have too much backstory to them. well, except for the first one, his name is ithaar, and he was one of my first ocs ever. he went through a massive redesign quite recently, so he has close to nothing in common with his first iterations. the other two characters, eurus and ash, were made for rp purposes quite recently, and so don't have too much lore behind them

ith is a bit of a coward, he struggles with his self-confidence and believes everyone sees him as insignificant due to his small size and inability to fly. he can camouflage, though, so he's a lot cooler than he thinks. also, he moves by hopping around like a little kangaroo. his design is very dromaeosaur-like, with short stubby arms and yi-qi inspired wings

eurus is very pterosaur-like, though much larger than even the largest azhdarchids. he doesn't like the company of others, he's a bit of a loner (with trauma!). he may seem mean on the surface, but his past experiences make him unable to walk past someone who's in need. not quite a gentle giant, though. i think it's easy to see which pterosaurs in particular were the inspiration for his design, though his crests are very dilophosaurus-like

the last one is ash, and she's the newest addition to the roster. her rp session was very short and didn't really add much to her lore, but she's generally a huge jerk who likes annoying others and stealing from them. but of course, it wouldn't be an oc of mine if there wasn't some trauma involved, and she's no exception. she believes she doesn't fit anywhere, she felt rejected by her own kind for her unnatural abilities (she can move things with her mind), and so she copes with it by being a prick. her design was inspired by junker queen from overwatch haha

---

i also have four night fury characters i made during my httyd phase, and i redesigned them about a year ago to be a lot more "natural" in their appearance. they used to be quite a bit more colorful back in the day, and not in the good way haha

their names are vel'ri, sherok, atis and marivo. no real backstory, just vibes. the first one used to be my "main" character during the httyd phase. vel'ri and atis are female, sherok and marivo are male

and lastly, some non-dragon characters. these don't really have any backstory that i think is worth sharing, but i still love them very much

this one is named rugat and they're a genderless, shapeshifting magma alien thing. i don't know what they are. i just really like their design. they're aggressive, but they have a soft spot for small, weak creatures. god knows what their reasoning is, but i thought it was a cute personality trait

and these two are named lox and bagel. they're a ragarox, an original species i made years ago when it was cool and hip to have a closed species. they're eyeless cave dwelling lizard things. very chubby. these two guys are not related but they hang out all the time. 🏳️‍🌈 perhaps?

lox, on the left, is the more active and territorial of the two. but he's also super affectionate towards bagel

bagel, on the other hand, is the couch potato. very round and chubby, 10/10

as a fun fact i like to think their long tongues have very distinct smells. lox's smells like lime, while bagel's smells a bit like blueberry

and lastly, here are two unnamed characters. i like their designs but i haven't had the chance or inspiration to think of any details about them

the first one is an okapi-like thing. with a kitty face. the second is like a weird mix between a ceratopsid and some kind of mammal

oh and, here's some redesigns of old dragon characters that i forgot to mention earlier. they used to be very different (all but one were inspired by other characters, but you can't see it on their current designs), and i don't have any backstories for them yet. their names are also going to be changed, so consider them nameless for now

(fun fact: the top left one was one of the first iterations of eurus' design, but i decided to turn it into a different character cause i still like it)

#ask stuff #gekko.art #my ocs

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belovedblabber · 1 year

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Plenty of people have said this in much more eloquent terms than mine but I drafted this late at night, and seeing as my brain is too rude for me to make eloquent thought out posts right now I’m just going to say this;

It’s so weird to me when people’s take away from the John sections of NtN is that they’re meant as confirmations that he’s an evil manipulator who has always been an evil manipulator, and further, that anybody who feels sympathy et al. for him when reading these chapters is ‘falling for his front.’

Like what a boring reading. It’s just weird to me that that would be a take away people have. To be clear I am not vagueing anybody here, I’ve just seen a few takes like that floating around. I just really don’t get how those sections could be read that way. To me the entire point of those backstory segments is to show us how John became the person he is in the present of the series. Those chapters aren’t meant to be proof of how John is bad and evil and manipulative, they’re showing us what somebody can do when pushed to a breaking point. It’s this tragic story of a man who loved the earth and wanted to save the earth and was so desperate that he fell into increasingly drastic actions as he was given godlike powers meant to help him fix things.

Because the thing is that when you give just some guy godlike powers it’s very easy for that guy to spin out as he feels increasing despair and urgency and anger. Like was backstory John perfect? Of course not he had tons of flaws. Flaws that then got increasingly amplified as things went on. But that’s kind of the point right? All of us have various flaws and nasty little traits that are part of us, and the point isn’t that John was a bad person, the point is that John was just a person! A person who was driven by desperation and love, a person who was given incredible and terrifying abilities that he didn’t know how to handle.

Like yes he was always a flawed individual, just like all of us are flawed individuals to some degree, and to me that’s sort of a massive point of his story. What happens when somebody filled with so much determination and anger and love is given these powers as the world gets sicker and sicker and the rich and powerful fuck you over? What does somebody do when things spiral out of control and keep escalating? The backstory chapters aren’t meant to show us how evil John is, they’re meant to show us how a driven scientist who wants to save the world can become the John that we see in the present. They show us what happened to him to twist him into that version of himself. Yes John is terrifying, he does horrible things, he’s an absolute bastard, I am in no way denying that. In fact that’s part of why I love him (because I enjoy FLAVOR). But reading the backstory chapters as just some sort of villain monologue is so boring.

Also I’ve seen people read those chapter as a ‘pr campaign’ of John’s in terms of what he’s saying. Which is, to me, really misinterpreting what’s going on there. It’s not a pr campaign, it’s a confession. And of course that confession is going to be shaped by John’s own opinions and recollections of events, but that doesn’t make it like, a carefully honed story that’s meant to make him look as good as possible and to manipulate the listener. Like yes it’s shaped by his opinions, his recollections etc., but that’s how any recounting of events is! Which makes it even more interesting. But I’ve seen takes saying that people are somehow falling for John’s front if they are like, ‘taken in’ by the John chapters. Which is really based on a total misreading of what’s going on with those chapters, in my opinion.

Those chapters are a flashback/weird dream bubble conversation, and we’re seeing what he was telling Alecto shortly after he ended everything. It’s an explanation and a confession and an unburdening. In an interview after the NtN cover reveal Tamsyn Muir said that one of the things the book is about is “a friend you know getting super, super drunk at the club, and you’re sitting with him in the local McDonald’s at midnight as he tells you a bunch of incredibly intimate details about something you always wondered about, and you’re torn between wishing you were not in this McDonald’s and egging him on, because you know he’s really, really going to regret telling you all this when he’s sober” which we now know that what she was referring to there was the John chapters. And that quote really contradicts any readings that paint the John chapters as any sort of ‘pr campaign’ etc. (And then of course by the final John chapter we see a shift, and it becomes him more directly addressing Harrow again rather than the strange mix of Alecto and Harrow, and that part is its own interesting beast).

But anyway I just find it weird when people’s take away is just oh wow look how evil John is look at these horrible things he did. Because that’s so much less interesting than what we’re really getting. What’s fun is to look at all of this and think how did he get here? What happens when just some guy, with a mixed bag of traits and flaws just like any person, is given power over life and death and, as a result, the potential power to save the world? And as he falls further and further down the path that he find himself increasingly unable to step back from, what happens when he becomes increasingly desperate? What parts of himself get laid bare as he hurdles down that path? How does somebody end up here? How and why does somebody do what he did and how do they justify it to themselves? How does a man who set out to save the world become the man who killed it and now leads an empire that kills planets and subjugates people all in the name of vengeance? In John 1:20 C— tells him “John, your problem is that you care less about being a savior than you do about meting out punishment” and I feel like that is such a fascinating and telling line. It shows us a trait of his that has only gotten worse with time. He’s had over ten thousand years for that aspect of himself to set in stone and define him.

And I think that the John chapters are, like so much of the series, a meditation on love and the different things love can cause a person to become and to do. “For John had loved the world” etc. That’s kind of its own post though so I’ll save that for a later semi-coherent collection of words.

Anyway to me a big reason that these chapters are so fascinating is because they’re showing us what love can do when it’s pushed to its limits and twisted. John is such a tragic figure and I mean that very much in a Greek tragedy sense. As per Tamsyn Muir in a different interview than the one mentioned above, John is “the figure that cleaves the most towards the tragic” (this also being the interview where she mentions that John is more or less given all the traits of a specific Greek tragic hero). I’m not going to start going off about reading comprehension and engagement in relation to people struggling to relate and ping these sorts of narratives and characters, because I’ll probably start sounding like a pretentious ass, but anyway, Greek tragedy, love it.

And so okay I’ve reached the end of my little Ted Talk here. Thanks for making it this far. Like I said, other people have said stuff to this effect better than I have, and I’ve probably said a lot of this before in different posts, but I’m choosing to say it here anyway because it’s my right to say a lot about a character here on tumblr.com

#the locked tomb #john gaius #nona the ninth #ntn

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djsherriff-responses · 6 months

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While the similarities between Rayman/Ramon and Dolph are incredibly strong (and I wish more people did stuff with that in art/fic) , I think there is some very small but significant similarities between Bullfrog and Alex. However it’s less to do with their actual personalities (they’re drastically different to each other) and more so their narrative role to other characters

Both Alex and Bullfrog have shown to have a sense of humour and a cocky vibe when in situations, Alex having banter and giving Dolph a kissy face before jumping off a building, while with Bullfrog he laughed at Jade calling Sarah out for her hypocrisy and before fighting the three goons he spoke about his bubbles and the ridiculous nature of them

Though with Alex he usually left the heard work for Dolph to deal with and attacked Dolph at his most vulnerable, while Bullfrog took a lot of heavy hits before finishing off his opponents and has shown to be willing to put himself on the line for others

The bigger similarity between them is that both of them lean towards being a care taker/saviour in their relationships , regardless if that’s something they do on purpose or if it’s a subconscious trait

We don’t know anything of Bullfrog’s backstory besides a few clues here and there, with him being one of last of the assassins creed one of the most accepted possibilities. The same with Alex, but unless the BL manga or next season decides to expand on it , it’s safe to bet he had a more normal life compared to the frog assassin. (According to wiki he also has a brother in the crew games? Interesting)

We don’t know the full scope of the relationship Dolph had with Alex and while it’s safe to assume the official Ubisoft Yaoi is going to go in depth on it (we are living in a surreal timeline), the show has given hints in the cramped 6 episodes

What we do know is that Dolph was in an incredibly vulnerable and desperate position when he first met Alex outside that gay club. And even though the cast don’t have canon ages listed anywhere (besides being vaguely legal adults), it’s visually obvious Alex is much older than Dolph, and even if the age gap wasn’t huge (highly doubt it) , Dolph was basically a puppet who escaped his strings

This is a similar situation Bullfrog finds himself in , with Rayman being in an incredibly vulnerable and desperate position in their first (and thus far only) conversation. While Bullfrog is the younger one in this situation, he clearly has more unfiltered life experience and wisdom compared to Rayman whose basically a puppet at that moment

We also know that Bullfrog is fiercely loyal to his comrades even when he has only known them for a few days. Alex however used everyone around him like pawns to be discarded, even the love of his life who was ready to settle down

I’m genuinely now curious if Pagan Min was the first time Dolph walked in on Alex being unfaithful or if that was a recurring issue for them?

Kinda interesting how these similarities between the two only highlights just how different these men are and their relationships

#captain laserhawk #captain laserhawk spoilers #rambles #Unlike Dolph and Ramon I don’t think this was done on purpose #But still fun to think on #Technically could be used for rayfrog or Laserfrog 🤷‍♀️

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literary-illuminati · 9 months

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Book Review 44 – The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal

Alright, first full novel I’ve read entirely due to it getting a Hugo nomination. In retrospect that fact that there was absolutely no wait list for it at the library was perhaps a sign I should have paid attention to. I’m not sure it’s a bad book, exactly, but my god is it just chock full of little things that grated on me (which more or less tracks with my very vague memories of casually perusing The Calculating Stars when it first came out, so probably just a sign Kowal’s not for me, really.)

The story’s set in a fairly grounded space age future, on an ultra-lux cruise liner taking its passengers from Earth to Mars in speed and style. Tesla Crane, heiress, celebrity, and generally incredibly famous and unfathomably wealthy, has booked one of the nicest suites in the earth-gravity section of the ship under a false name to enjoy some anonymity on her much anticipated honeymoon cruise. Things of course take a drastic turn as a woman is murdered outside their sweet, and her spouse is framed for the crime. The shipboard security is obstructive and suspicious, bodies keep piling up, and it’s largely up to Tesla to solve the murder and clear his good name.

So first off – this is largely a style thing that grates on me far more than it should, and it probably effects my overall reading experience to an entirely unjustified degree, but – the standard etiquette in the story’s future is for everyone to use the gender neutral Mx. Using gendered terms like wife, husband, sir, m’am, or similar is also called out as being somewhere between archaic and offensively retrograde. Also, it is totally standard courtesy to list someone’s pronouns in any case where you’d their full name. In which case what is the point of taking so much care to be gender neutral of everything else. (In a sense this actually inspired worldbuilding, insofar as it’s exactly the sort of stupid language games high aristocracy or its equivalent tends to love, but the reading experience kind of grated).

The society’s generally very consciously progressive in a way that kind of calls attention to itself. It really wasn’t a surprise to see in the acknowledgement’s section that all the mentions of courtesy masks being a thing were edited in as covid happened. This is all mostly just background noise though, as far as narrative focus the only things that really occupy the story’s attention are its portrayal of disability and its bizarre class politics.

So, a key point of her backstory is that some years before the story, a lab disaster (during a demonstration of a personal assistance mech, which is actually some incredibly bitter dramatic irony I’m surprised the story doesn’t call any attention to?) killed six people and left Tesla with permanent spinal damage, chronic pain, and PTSD. Medical science doesn’t seem to have made many innovations on a cane or breathing exercises as far as mobility aids and PTSD treatment goes, but it does provide the absolutely incredible wish fulfillment device of a switch in your brain that lets you turn your pain sensitivity up or down at will. Tesla’s disability is a recurring thing throughout the book and generally the portrayal seemed fine to me? A couple conversations that bled into ‘giving the reader an important message’ territory, but only slightly and hardly the worst in the book.

The book’s attitude to class and wealth though, woof. Like, okay, the story is clearly a bit of a pastiche, a sanguine attitude to vast inequality and social hierarchy are necessary for the whole fantasy to work, but my god in that case please stop calling attention to it. The book so badly wants to simultaneously be progressive and have Tesla’s life be as maximally glamorous and exalted as possible that it gets twisted into this incredibly awkward spirals showing that she’s a good hyper-elite oligarch which really only call attention to the issue without doing anything to resolve it. Her internal monologue including some variation of the line ‘normally I hate just using money as a bludgeon to get what I want, but” happens a few too many times for it to not make un less likeable than an aristocrat who owns it.

Like, this is potentially uncharitable, but the book seems to take it as read that I find the idea of demanding to speak to a manager and having them grovel and apologize for how I’ve been disrespect far more alluring than I do? Not being that customer is a subject Tesla ruminates on at some length, and at the same time calling up her high priced lawyer and threatening to bury the whole cruise line in lawsuits while they rush to provide apology gifts is definitely portrayed as this thrilling power fantasy. It all left me actively rooting against her, at least a bit.

The actual mystery itself honestly wasn’t much to write home about – a bit confused, red herring introduced blatantly and too late, the obviously suspicious and personally unlikable character was the villain – but in a similar vein it did seem…telling, that the guy who’d been positioned as the unlikable asshole oligarch in opposition to Crane was secretly a murderous gold-digging imposter all along! Also, the fact that this was proven by a photo showing the oligarch to have been a dog guy, and the imposter being quite literally the only character in the entire book who didn’t adore Tesla’s emotional support dog. Like, c’mon.

Speaking of the dog – the book had a few recurring beats which I’m sure I’m supposed to have found funny or endearing but just overstayed their welcome with me several times over. The entire cast’s brains leaking out whenever they saw Tesla’s westie like it was some sort of platonic ideal of canine cuteness was one of them, along with like, Tesla and her spouse making out at a moment’s notice because a plot point meant that their encrypted tele-chat required skin-to-skin contact, and the book doubling as a cocktail guide. All things that if I’d liked the book I could have easily overlooked, but as is were just extra straws on the proverbial camel’s back.

Anyway, yeah, didn’t work for me.

#book review #sff #hugo nom #the spare man #mary robinette kowal

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pixelatedollhouse · 7 days

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📩 Simblr question of the day: Choose as many sims/ocs as you'd like for this question, What's something INCREDIBLY obscure and/or out-of-pocket about your sim/oc? Something that nobody (fellow sims and/or your followers and mutuals) knows 👀 (This could be things about their social skills, physicality and/or birth defects, or it could be something they vaguely remember, a dream they had that actually predicted the future, etc etc... whatever you come up with)

( p.s I'm [the SQOTD anon] planning on starting a separate SQOTD blog for these asks/questions, and I'm open for input on this :) ) ( p.p.s freely share this SQOTD around, anon or not, and use the # SQOTD ~ 💛 )

This is a fun one! Think I'll share a little more backstory for Andy and Jeff, as I'm at a point in this save where it's unlikely I'd digging into their backstories, and I hadn't really given a lot of thought to those two back when I started. Not sure if that counts as obscure or out of pocket, but I'll take any excuse to ramble about my sims!

Andy: As the offspring of a PT, Andy theoretically has thousands of siblings, but unlike them she was the only one sent back to her homeworld of Sixam, where she was raised by her alien dad, Captain Collins, instead of her sim one. As a result of this, she chose to move to San Myshuno as a young adult to get a taste of the life she might have lived if she hadn't been sent back.

While she's very open about her status as an alien and will freely tell anyone about life growing up on Sixam, she's secretive of the fact that she only grew up there because she was sent back. I imagine that when Jeff was later abducted and became pregnant himself, she feared he and Alec would also send the baby back in favour of having a biological science baby, and was relieved when they happily kept it (second surprise baby and all!)

Jeff: His parents are very career-focused, so with them working long hours Jeff was put into a lot of extracurricular sports to keep him busy, and his Aunt Kass looked after him during the hours school and sports didn't fill. Jeff found that his success in sports was pretty much the only time his parents took much notice of him, which lead to him becoming very competitive in fear of losing that source of attention.

He was sent to a (in my head, an all boys) private/boarding school in his teen years, where he figured some things out about himself. Not having a close relationship with his parents lead to him confiding in his aunt first. Summers and holidays were always spent with her in the city, which brings us up to his first rotation.

His parents aren't unaccepting, but their desire to put their careers over being a family has led to Jeff breaking off contact with them, and looking up to his aunt as a parental figure instead.

#SQOTD #sims #sims 4 #ts4 #reply #reply post #replies #paraverse outtakes

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daemon-in-my-head · 10 days

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OC profile: Ellifain

Got tagged by @wafflerageface (ty 💕), @sakurainhellagain @asteriasfallingstarsandtears @kawareo have fun if y'all want, or those that want to do this feel tagged rn

Basics

Full name: Yeah, about that, do you want the alias, the name he went with mainly or the true name? I might've gone overboard here. Ellifain is an alias he uses cuz reasons, the name he's registered as a citizen with and the one his family gave him would be Fionnlagh Starym, there's a whole ass backstory about his name, why he isn't using it, if he ever uses it again etc but too much for here. Feel free to ask though. Oh but, Gortash kinda knows his name? Listen y'all it's complicated. I like it when they suffer.

Gender: Male but is too busy having an identity crisis to care for it

Sexuality: aspec

Pronouns: he/him/they, doesn't really care for the same reason as above though

Other

Father: biological; Bhaal, adopted; Anfalen Starym

Mother: biological; Bhaal(?), adopted; Saelihn Starym

Siblings: biological; Sarevok Anchev, adopted; Elanil Starym. Orin is just a niece, she's not Bhaals kid (though he does treat her like a sister)

Birthplace: praise the vague canon, I suppose he was created in Gehenna before Bhaal dropped him like a hot stone in the Gate

Job: Cult leader

Phobias: being viewed as Faithless or False, the cold

Guilty Pleasures: 'artistic' worship, dancing, sitting in the sun like a lizard, playing with Cadis

Alignment: neutral evil with chaotic tendencies

Sins: vivisections, murder, extortion, blackmail, skipping the fine prints, skipping work, arrogance, do you need the whole list or does this suffice?

Virtues: protectiveness (he's really not a good guy)

This or That

Introvert/Extrovert: Extroverted introvert(?), prefers to keep to himself or his small group of people he does not hate, but can be charming and extroverted in a rather manipulative fashion if duties require

Organized/Disorganized: Organized, not thanks to Scels help

Close-Minded/Open-Minded: Very open-minded, for better or worse. Please stop eating people that's not a balanced diet.

Calm/Anxious/Restless: Restless, can't sit still for 5 minutes. Needs to fiddle with something if he's not occupied

Disagreeable/Agreeable/In-Between: In-Between, will hear you out but if he considers your idea to be foolish he will call you out and become incredibly stubborn about it

Cautious/Reckless: Reckless. Does not give a damn as long as only he's involved, if others could be put into unfortunate situations however he'll reconsider and be somewhat careful. If he likes them that is

Patient/Impatient/In between: Patient, he'll get what he wants eventually, one way or another

Outspoken/Reserved/In between: Reserved, he will not talk or say more than he has to in order to convey his point. Local tyrants hate this trick.

Leader/Follower/Flexible: Flexible but prefers to lead

Empathetic/Unempethic/In between: In between, tries his best to be empathic but some things he simply can't comprehend or refuses to cuz of his own past

Traditional/Modern/In between: In between, mainly traditional but isn't afraid of introducing new things to the cult or his life

Hard working/Lazy: Hard working, solely cuz he avoids sleep and can't sit still for 5 minutes. Lounging is his archenemy

Relationships

OTP: Gortash. Duh. Though things happened with a certain Drow in between

BrOTP: Astarion, platonic murder worsties, finally an elf that doesn't look at his appearance with disdain cuz they're the same in that regard. Lae'zel is cool too, they could share beautiful moments of identity crisis together

NOTP: Shadowheart, she's a constant painful reminder of the memories he's lost, oddly enough something he'd rather forget (his whole stick is running from uncomfortable truths lol) edit; also he has that whole Sehanine and moon bit going on so Shart thought he's a selunite, didn't go well for either of them lmao

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #dark urge #durge #bg3 durge #bg3 gortash #oc: ellifain #durge oc #durge spoilers

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noorahqar · 14 days

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A, N and V for the ask game!

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Oooh. Hard question, because I absolutely love almost all of my fics. But I THINK I can narrow it down. To three. (I'm indecisive LOL)

this year it taught me (lost and ambitious) was my first longfic ever (even if it's more of a collection of short stories) and is my pride and joy. The title may suck - I have no clue why it's so long - and there's plenty of flaws, but I'm very proud of this guy. Every so often I reread it and it's always a blast - past me covered a lot of different topics, a lot of relationships, and I think it had some pretty good characterization!

Educational Quandaries and Academic Arson are the silliest things I've written but also by far my favorite of my oneshots. Writing Sky as a miserable college student and hero is my favorite thing ever. It's also quite representative of myself right now - I have exams in a few weeks I should be studying for, and yet…

N: Any fic ideas brewing that you’d care to share?

A solid handful. These are all WIPs, actually, not ideas, but I hope you'll forgive me for considering them interchangeable!

In the TP manga, Twilight's backstory includes him accidentally vaporizing the city he lived in before Ordon. I think they turn out to be alive and well, but fanfiction where him and Legend bond over seemingly destroying entire civilizations they loved.

HTTYD AU! Kind of. Everything's the same, and Sky essentially has a role similar to that of Hiccup in HTTYD 2 - he's an adventurer, mapping out the region around what will eventually become Hyrule. He also has Hiccup's cool-ass flying suit. I want to give Sky a cool wingsuit. That's it. (This is barely an AU, lol. I'm not an AU person for the most part. Excluding modern AUs.)

Speaking of - fanfiction where Warriors and Legend are in a car, and that car gets hit by lightning. Inspired by the same thing happening to my aunt. It didn't really do much except be frightening, surprisingly? Legend is appropriately frightened.

That's everything notable. The rest are all completed short stories and vague ideas that are more emotions than anything, lol.

V: Are there certain comments you’ve received on your stories that have stuck with you?

As I think everyone who's responded to this comment has said, I love literally each and every comment I receive! There's definitely often some that stand out, though. Some people inform you that you've hit the mark you were aiming for with your writing, others tell you about how your writing affected them personally. The latter always makes me emotional, lol. It's also fun seeing a person comment multiple times in a row on different fics - it's like, HI!! I SEE YOU BINGING MY WORK!!! I APPRECIATE YOU!!!!

Getting comments from writers you admire is great, too. As someone who used to have a huge following on my previous Ao3 account, logically I know they're just some random people who like their blorbos. But I always end up incredibly excited anyways, haha.

There's also no greater joy than a returning commenter. Often, I've found myself in like… a symbiotic relationship of commenting long paragraphs? It's amazing. I made one of my closest online friends this way, over a discussion about tea in my comments!!

Lord OKAY. I went too hard with these responses, I think, but I have a lot of thoughts. Thank you for asking, Rose!! :D

#qar answers #...renegade rose #am i doing this right #also i get sooo concerned when a returning reader just disappears #it is in my nature to be unreasonably worried about people i know exist LOL #linked universe #linked universe fanfic

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timeskip · 1 year

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WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN TIMELOOPS IN A3. MY ENTIRE VAGUE UNDERSTANDING OF A3 JUST GOT THROWN OUT THE WINDOW

HGJKGDSJKLDGSJKD

Okay so, A3 is like. emotional-drama slice-of-life kind of? It's set in what is pretty clearly The Real World, with a few differences like There's A Fake Country Called Zahra, and all the characters have realistic issues and problems.

AND THEN. AND FUCKING THEN. ACT/PART 4 OF THE MAIN STORY HAPPENS. MAGIC IS REAL.

Literal magic things that have happened in A3:

A couple characters can just. hold conversations with animals. Nobody else can, and nobody really questions why they're able to.

There's a loupe (which is like. a magnifying glass specifically used for jewelry and watches iirc) which if you look through it will show real and true internal thoughts 😭 Homare, low empathy king, gets his hands on it and uses it temporarily in order to solve some issues caused by his low empathy (said low empathy is treated respectfully! He's not vilified for it at all!!)

There's a magic room that traps people inside. Like you look for something and you go in the storage room and now you Can't Leave until you talk about your feelings. The main character gets trapped in here multiple times with different characters with problems. One of them had amnesia and may or may not have temporarily remembered everything due to being trapped behind the Unopening Door

Ghosts are ambiguously real. Sometimes characters will hear voices from dead people or have dreams where they seem to be alive. This is normal for them apparently 😭

TIME LOOPS. TWO OF THEM. THERE'S MULTIPLE TIME LOOPS. There's this doll called the "torment doll" which if you're having a giant fight with a close friend, it will LITERALLY TRAP YOU IN A TIME LOOP to make you make up!!! Tsumugi and Tasuku have issues and so get trapped in it. One of the aforementioned characters who can talk to animals is apparently IMMUNE TO TIME LOOPS and is in it with them, and is SO UPSET at them for it, but they eventually do work out their issues jjkgdjklgdgjklgd

Then later we get a bit of backstory to another character and it turns out HE was in a time loop too??? One of the antagonists (well he's a good guy now, but he WAS an antagonist) also had issues and got trapped in a loop by the torment doll!!! But instead of fixing things he broke the loop by LEAVING AND BREAKING OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP while being incredibly gay about the whole thing

Also not as important as these only appear in side stories but: plushies are alive and can talk to people in their dreams. Also there's an object that can grant wishes in a kind of monkey's paw situation where it ends up Not Fun, but the next day it turns out to be just a dream.

So yeah!!! Magic is real in A3!!! A3 is so insane sometimes I love it so much

#a3!

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skyward-floored · 1 month

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If I may ask: you said that a lot of the IAU fics you have are angsty... what do those involve? 👀

could we get a wip too maybe no pressure though ofc

Oh boy, this might take a minute you're going to have to give me a sec... Okay. I'm not going to bother sorting between angsty and not angsty, so here's basically the entire contents of my incredibles au wips/drafts/jotted-down-ideas document XD

I have:

A few sentences of Time as a kid, a paragraph of the first time Hyrule met Warriors, Warriors getting his arm scar, Wild and Hyrule talking about their (birth) parents, Sky adjusting to being home again, Legend getting the stomach flu, a few sentences of Sky freaking out over having triplets, a bunch of his family meeting said-triplets, Sky having a lil breakdown over being home, a couple paragraphs of what happened to Wild, a triplet having a nightmare, some hypothetical stuff I might not ever publish with triplets (again), some musing about Four's lack of powers, Wind and Twilight missing Sky, Wild missing Sky, Hyrule accidentally scaring Legend and missing Sky, Wild explaining his scars to Hyrule, more Hyrule backstory (three seperate bits), how Sky's parents died, how Time ended up caring for Warriors, Hyrule crossing paths with the people he used to live with, Warriors and Artemis realizing the other is actually a super they knew like a decade or so ago, an idea for Shadow I probably won't use, an idea for Shadow I probably will use, some things about Flora and Wild, a holiday/Christmas-y thing I wrote like 200 words for, AND, a paragraph of vague ideas for like fifteen or so years ahead in the future.

#answers from the floor #anon #incredibles au #and this doesn't even count the movie fic or the Sky thing #I just realized I forgot a wip if any of these seem interesting feel free to ask for one lol

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beevean · 4 months

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"Game Isaac's design sucks he's too ridiculous and hard to take seriously! He looks like a 13 year old girl's attempt at making a character look deep and hot at the same time!"

Yeah well I used to hate his design too and it has to be said that CoD's designs in general are probably the ones that stray the furthest from the series' original artistic sty-

"Drolta is such a queen! Her design rocks! Step on me mommy!!"

Sigh...

Admittedly Isaac's design is... a lot to take in. He bombards you with visual information and you don't know where to look first. It may sound like an odd comparison, but he's almost like HoD's music: an absolute sensory mess at first, but once you get used to it, you start to appreciate the logic behind it and the finer details.

It is undeniable that one look at the guy can tell you that he was designed in 2005, so I get what you mean when you said that the CoD designs stray far from the previous games :P I guess Kojima wanted to take advantage of the power of the PS2 lol.

But as I said multiple times. There is something to be said about how NFCV treats design and gender. Most male characters got heavily redesigned to be conventionally handsome, but in a masculine and "proper" way - Dracula is the only one who got vaguely sexualized in that flashback where he goes on a killing spree. The only two male characters in NFCV who kept their original designs, and therefore are the "prettiest" in a more feminine way, got sexualized and fetishized to a truly uncomfortable degree, literally turned into sex objects both in-universe and out-of-universe (Richter got spared... so far). The female villains are also incredibly sexualized, but in a "hot" way, because they're vampire dommy mommies.

Isaac was effectively castrated because his over-the-top design is taken as proof that he's a bad character. But Drolta, who is literally Isaac with tits both in design and role (she's nothing more than Erzsébet's lapdog, without even a shred of backstory), gets stanned to high heavens. Because you can only go around with slutty boots if you have a pussy, I suppose.

#anti netflixvania #i'm tired chief

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kuiperror · 2 months

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TELL ME ABOUT THE CHIPMUNKS LORE. pretty please.

1st thank you for indulging me (even tho i asked lol) 2nd.maybe dont open this unless you want to get blasted with useless information + unimportant yet dearly held opinions + offtopic addendums + true sincerity. i tried to hold back guys im sorry. hold onto your hats im getting fucking crazy in here

firstly ill summarize and say that my "version" of the story of aatc [1] is basically just an idealized version of the "lore" the 1960s version gave us (i say "lore" in quotations bc there was. none lol).

now a lot of my ideas concerning the "lore" of story are interconnected to my opinions about the actual application of aatc media in real life . for instance, the story is set, vaguely, around the late 1950s - early to mid 1960s, like the irl "run" of the original chipmunks records. i personally believe that, as a real media franchise, aatc really has no reason to exist within our modern world with the technology we have today [2] so aatc as a fictional story is affected similarly. along with that, when the story is played out in the context of 1960s america it creates a richer thematical experience as the themes are compounded and expanded on. [3] a lot of the themes that i consider Essencial to the story deal with acceptance of differences and familial love and questioning of ones own humanity and sense of belonging, both within oneself and within the family unit and within larger society, and conservative 1960s suburban america is just a rlly good backdrop to place all of that. so basically i believe in the Contextuality of 1960s aatc and i love to allude to those contexts within the story.

another thing about my version is that i allow it to be inconsistent both with itself or with real life, just cuz it doesn't really have to be. for instance, this story has a floating timeline and i consider the chipmunk's ages to range from 8 - 10 years old— theodore is 8, alvin is 9, simon is 10. (simon is the oldest in the 1960s era idc who says what, i will die on this hill) however at the same time i think it would make the most sense for them to come from the same litter, which would make them all the same age. so i consider the chipmunks to be different ages while also considering they were born at the same time. i do have an in-world resolution for this discrepancy [4] but you get what im saying: my version of events is a little fictional story for me and me only so inconsistencies like that can be brushed over . mainly so i don't think too deeply about the logistics of things (cuz i tend to do that to avoid any possible criticism cuz i am Afraid of flaw) . like i'll catch myself being like "but how does the development of a real 8yo match theodore's behavior? 🤨" and i have to tell myself "bro.. this is a fictional cartoon world ur literally talking about a talking chipmunk its Not That Serious it doesn't have to be that realistic dude" so i just say its my own little play place and i get to do what i want :)

my version of the backstory of the chipmunks is not really all there in terms of external and internal consistency, but it mostly resembles the 1980s series' backstory where dave finds the chipmunks on his doorstep. (see [4] for entire story) i think that the months after dave took them in were honestly a p dark period for the family. i don't imagine dave had good support system and i think the mental struggle of suddenly caring for 3 incredibly strange children all the while fearing societal reactions to them (which restricted him from getting the help he needed) [5] definitely aged him. ithink hes like, early 30s when the chipmunks arrive, late 30s when the timeline "starts floating"... not as young as most (?) fans/iterations interpret him to be. i think that, before "the chipmunk song" was created, dave had raised the chipmunks for like.. 3-5ish years. what i'm saying is that dave definitely took in the chipmunks out of the kindness of his own heart and not cuz he wanted to capitalize on their singing prowess (aHEM looking at a certain movie 🤨)

also, i like to accentuate the animal-ness of the boys by taking real world information about chipmunks and applying it to them :) in general its a little bit of a pet peeve of mine when ppl just completely disregard the animal part of funny animal characters... esp with alvin and the chipmunks bc thats like. Their Whole Thing . they are chipmunks ? why do you just ignore that 😭

now i have talked a LOT about angsty stuff but i do want to make it clear that legit all this stuff is the subtext and background for interactions shown within the 1960s chipmunk media. the chipmunks are still happy kids who have fun and goof around and piss off david !! its just that they have fears and their own Issues like any real person.

so yeah! thats my chipmunk lore!! ^^ i have a whole document about my version so im definitely. fucking insane about the chipmunks. if any other aatc fans are reading this please be nice to me 😦 i feel as though i am very much a weirdo in my sandbox all alone soo dont h8 me plz :)

and just to send it off with some silly lore here are some random headcanons for each character that i have taken straight from my lore document ^^

alvin: would 100% be a leash kid . just sayin (as a former leash kid myself)

alvin: takes after david musically— when he writes his own music and makes up little songs to himself it sounds very similar to the songs dave writes. alvin doesn't recognize this but dave definitely does :,)

alvin: insecure about his height and constantly reassures himself that he will have a growth spurt when hes older

simon: loves loves LOVEs non-conventional and instrumental music! especially those set in different modes

simon: astronaut kid he loves space and wants to b an astronaut . born at just the right time B)

simon: knows better than to follow along with alvin's troublemaking + rebelliousness, occasionally tries to push back, but often is just like. fuck it we ball and goes along with it, especially if its fun ^^

theodore: LOVES the technical aspect of music + the recording process . he will tell you all about the science behind how vinyl records work unprompted.

theodore: doesnt like to sing solos as much as his brothers do bc of past childhood asthma at age 3 and also because he can not stop himself from giggling when hes singing hes just so happy :)! (THIS ONE IS CANON 💥💥💥 SOURCE: UP ON THE HOUSETOP CHRISTMAS W THE CHIPMUNKS VOL 1 ‼️)

theodore: although he is the most naive of the bunch, he is not dumb . hes just a little kid who likes being silly !

dave: before taking the chipmunks in in his early 30s he was the world's most regular guy . wrote hits for other people, continues to do that occasionally into the boys's careers

dave: literally has a song for everything . he will do everything to a beat .

dave: embroiders and cross-stitches to regulate his anger + knows how to sew really well since he has 2 make all of the boys' clothes. (CANON ⁉️😍) also it was his decision to color-code and embroider their initials onto everything they wear lmfao

FOOTNOTES (color coded for your convenience!)

[1] - in this post i refer to the media franchise as "aatc" (alvin and the chipmunks) and refer to the actual trio of characters as "the chipmunks" to avoid confusion. i just want it to be said that i personally dont like to call the media franchise "alvin & the chipmunks" on account of the whole "uuu if alvins a chipmunk why is it called alvin & the chipmunks" joke, i personally prefer to call the franchise just "the chipmunks" as it is shorter and includes the 1960s era as for most of it the franchise went by several different iterations (if we lived in a perfect world the franchise would still be called "david seville and the chipmunks" . just saying)

[2] - back in the early 60s, combining pitch-shifted vocals and character-acting was an innovative technique that took real time, effort, knowledge and skill to achieve. but nowadays not only is the concept no longer fresh but literally anyone can create their own "chipmunk" vocals in a matter of minutes. the story & characters (also nostalgia) are really the only thing keeping the aatc franchise going, esp since that's what more modern iterations of aatc focus on rather than the actual music.

[3] - in the media outside of their albums (the alvin show & the dell comics, specifically) there is always an underlying theme of comparison between david and the boys and the 1960s concept of a nuclear american family. its not exactly an "Intentional" theme, it more or less comes with the (irl) time-period the original aatc media was created in. the seville household is, inherently, a subversion of the ideal of the "perfect family" that households were compared against and strived to be, even at the expense of their own comfort, ideals, safety, etc. this subversion can be played into for drama and angst in a richer, more plausible way than it would be if the story were set in a more modern time period, u know? but yeah i believe that, as a fictional story, aatc shouldn't be divorced from the context of the attitudes and values of what mainstream society thought a family should be in the 1960s.

[4] - essentially in my version of events, dave was given no information about the boys and he basically made up their ages. when david found them in his backyard, they were oversized chipmunks as large as your average cat. they all sort of acted like young human children, but they were a lot more... chipmunk than child. they could only babble— but the sounds were recognizable as human speech. dave was obviously freaked out and resolved to keep an eye on them whenever they were in his backyard. he really only resolved to take them in due to the fact that he could literally see them change throughout a single week. how i imagine the chipmunks' biology is that they are a mixture of human and chipmunk (not literally, mind you, more as a physiological, figurative thing) so they have the intelligence and development of a human while still doing certain things like undertaking hibernation, wanting to forage and stockpile and burrow, things like that. however their growth rate is incredibly fucked up, going from the actual size of a newborn baby chipmunk to the size of a human toddler within like, a year. with this rapid growth also comes more human-like intelligence. once they were actually living in his house, dave knew there was something human about them with these creatures so he couldn't just let them return to the wild, especially since they were becoming more and more dependent on him and more and more human-like as days passed... i definitely think there was a moment of pure clarity for dave where he realized like. wow, that's a child. these things are children. and they are relying on me to provide for them. they are absolutely attached to me by now. and i think i might actually be attached to them too. and thats when he decided to name them and truly care for them like any other human child. overtime the chipmunks slowed their growth rate and matched their developing rate with the same as an average human. the chipmunks don't remember much of their early childhood and nothing can really be disputed so davids word of what happened is gospel. And yeah thats their backstory basically. if you want more on dave's view point on the chipmunks and their fucked up growth process, you can read this post here :)

[5] - he overcame this, of course. he did not want the boys to think that he was ashamed of them. public school was a different story, however, and the boys were more-or-less in a state of homeschooling before the release of "the chipmunk song." knowing that most of their peers would actually look up to them rather than down upon them extremely reassured him.

#Dont look at me.#this is literally the most vulnerable i think i have ever been in my life.#please be kind i am obviously mentally ill 😭😭#um im not tagging this one guys. sorry #i am VERY afraid.#i will be tagging personal however. because this is literally the most personal i could ever get.#personal

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