Season 3 of good omens is gonna sound like that WE COULDA HAD US A REAL GOOD LIFE A FUCKING REAL GOOD LIFE BUT YOU DIDNT WANT IT ENNIS monologue from broke back mountain

got any roach-centric fic recs? like idc the pairing, ghostroach/soaproach/ghostsoaporach any thats roach focused plzz

*cracks knuckles* I GOTCHU ANON this is my time to shine

If anyone wants to reply with their own pls do!

(These are in no particular order)

GhostRoach:

i left my heart in the mountains (right next to yours)

I'm going to want you 'til the stars evaporate

and here i stand (in the dirt with you)

These are all by Santihan and ugghh these were the fics that pulled me back from my near decade-long ghostroach obsession sabbatical. Well-written, emotional, they are amazing, my favs, I will rec these til I die (the first two are painful :'))

Things That Burn by abel_obel

Such a good one, I always go back to this when I'm in a ghostroach mood. Good ol' classic person A gets injured and person B freaks out

Roach Wouldn't Really Do It...

Exhaustion's a Funny Thing

Both by tinyduckies! Def read the TWs for the first one, but arghhh, I go back to these ones a lot!. I really like how the first one's more realistic/gritty when it comes to the aftermath of surviving Loose Ends

Second one's just a lovely depiction of Ghost and Roach's dynamic. Loved the banter and the second chapter ends real sweetly :)

The Barracks: Part 2

Ulterior Motives

Both by doberman, these two are much longer fics (which ghostroach is in desperate need of) and are such interesting reads!!

The first one is an AU that takes place in a pub with Ghost being his repressed, unhealthy self, and Roach coming in as the new co-worker to sweep him off his feet lol

The second one is ongoing and takes place slightly after MWII with Ghost meeting Roach outside of deployment

Sovereign by Applescone

God, this one really puts me in an introspective mood. It's so well-written and just feels so grounded and human. Takes place years after Loose Ends, with Ghost and Roach rekindling their relationship whilst dealing with the complications of Shepherd's betrayal and death

我给你早在你出生前多年的一个傍晚看到的一朵黄玫瑰的记忆 by Alex_Upshur

Ok I know this is in Chinese, but just use a translator like I did and yeah, while it won't be as accurate as the author wrote it, it's still a really lovely fic and i adore it :') A lil bittersweet look into the 141's lives and sweet moments with Ghost and Roach <3

Of Doubts and Dreams (Retold)

The Hook Up

All written by Call_Of_Booty, an og ghostroach author from wayyy back during the og trilogy (and ff.net) days. The first one's a rewrite of one of their old fics and it focuses on Roach and Ghost's dynamic up until the night before Loose Ends.

Second one's about Roach deciding to leave the SAS whilst he and Ghost have complicated feelings for eachother due to past hookups. Both great reads!

Distance Makes the Heart Pissed Off by krwaken

I'm sure every GhostRoach shipper knows this one lol. A lovely 200k word slowburn of these two <3

Fear & Delight by EpiKatt

Hornet's Nest with more GhostRoach :))

Tell Me Why This Has to End by Feral_Raccoon

ANGST :( Post-Loose Ends. Ending broke me haha

and you wrote your name / right there next to mine by cheese_n_crack

more Loose Ends angst :( A bittersweet ending with Ghost and Roach looking at the stars in their final moments

You'll Get Sick Anyways by ghostslefttit

Very short, but very cute lil fic with Ghost taking care of a sick Roach :))

If We Crash (I Hope We Do) by mintyiecat

Man I can't even begin to describe how much I love this one. Portrays Ghost and Roach's relationship post-loose ends where Roach is now a civilian. Loved how the author depicted their relationship as not flawless. Felt very human and raw. Very sweet ending :)

GhostSoapRoach

Something in the Orange by fixfoxnox

Y'all been knew this would be on here lol

Follows Roach's pov where he's been reincarnated into the reboot timeline with all his memories from his old life and him trying to make his way back to Ghost. This one makes me sad as hell. Has all the feels :')

Something in the Orange by insomniamemoirs & RandomWordsAndStormyDays

Funny how my top two GSR fics are named the same thing, but hey, they're both amazing. I was apprehensive because of the "calling Soap Roach by accident" trope, however they really diverted my expectations and made these three really feel like equals in a relationship. Really love how they made sure to establish a strong dynamic between Soap and Roach instead of pitting them against each other. And Roach isn't just some 2D character here, he's very nuanced and I love it!

Freezing Waters by AmphibianEft

Sweet fic of Roach getting injured and Soap and Ghost freaking out and taking care of him

Stress Relief by Anonymous

Just Soap and Ghost taking care of Roach after Hornet's Nest (smut) :)

SoapRoach

Leg Day by tinyduckies

Good ol' smut lol (09 soaproach mm)

Everything That Isn't Said by pajamabees

More 09 smut

Taste by fixfoxnox

Just 3.5k words of Roach wanting to kiss his captain :)

fall for me by punishervest

Just a sweet moment between 09 Soap and Roach with Soap reminiscing on his past with Price but also considering how he wants something more with Roach <3

She (Means Everything To Me) by mylareading

Just 1.9k words of Soap being down bad for Roach (super sweet)

Roanig (Roach x Konig)

I Really Like The Way You Stare At Me by turqu0ise

The fic that introduced me to roanig <3 Just a cute fic focusing on the development of their relationship

Subatomic by tinyduckies

Another nice fic focused on the development of their relationship. Loved the interactions they had in this :)

These are the ones I have so far! I'm sure later on I can add to the list, and if anyone wants to reply with their own feel free :)

I've also been made aware there are Keegan/Roach fics, but I haven't gotten around to reading them yet, but def check out their tag anon! Hope this was an adequate rec list haha

Playlist Analysis: #7 - Pale Blue Eyes

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#7. Pale Blue Eyes – The Velvet Underground

This is a Crowley song.

Overview:

I mentioned previously that Neil has said that in Season 2, Crowley’s favorite song changed from I’ll Be Your Mirror to Pale Blue Eyes. I hadn’t heard it before so I went and listened and my heart broke again.

The song describes a person in love with their best friend. The singer loves them but there are barriers to their being together. They seem to have poor communication skills, they are opposites in many ways, the blue-eyed one is in a relationship and the singer encourages them to sin.

So let’s talk about placement in the list. I think this fits best, both in sound and poetic tone, in a post-kiss world. It’s a season 2 song so it must succeed the season 1 songs, and if I’m honest, I imagine the lingering on those pale blue eyes as what happened between the kiss and the forgiveness. Most of this song exists during Aziraphale’s heartbreaking, stuttering brain reboot. 

Lyrics:

Sometimes I feel so happy Sometimes I feel so sad Sometimes I feel so happy But mostly you just make me mad Baby, you just Make me mad

Do I even need to explain this first verse? We see Aziraphale cause Crowley to experience each of these emotions, all the time, in both seasons. They bicker so much and every spat comes back around to more happiness, sorrow, and anger. These two really need to grow. David said something to the effect of, “Crowley loves Aziraphale too and it’s very frustrating for him.” 

Linger on Your pale blue eyes Linger on Your pale blue eyes

After the botched confession, when Crowley dons his sunglasses, he’s stopped listening. The wall is up. He still stops when Aziraphale asks him to, but he’s done with the conversation. He faces Aziraphale but his gaze is clearly not really on him, and the second he mentions heaven again, Crowley turns his face away too. But after all the hurtful words from them both, and that last act, that desperate, pain-filled kiss, Crowley stares at him straight on, lingering on Aziraphale’s pale blue eyes, hoping he’ll change his mind.

Thought of you as my mountain top Thought of you as my peak Thought of you as everything I've had but couldn't keep I've had but couldn't keep

I don’t think it’s healthy to mark one’s pinnacle according to another, but I certainly understand the feeling. So many of us have feelings of inadequacy or at least self-consciousness; to look at the being you love more than anything and know they don’t look down on you, they see you as worthy. That can feel like the achievement of a lifetime. The best that things will ever get for you. How thrilling to be at the top! But you can't stay at the top unless you die up there. “Nothing lasts forever.” Crowley has lost so much. His angelhood, his refuge, his best friend, his car (restored, but the loss was still experienced), his authority, his flat. Aziraphale is the last, unthinkable thing to add to the list of everything Crowley has had that’s been taken away.

Linger on Your pale blue eyes Linger on Your pale blue eyes

Because of the sunglasses, we can’t really see just how often Crowley gazes at Aziraphale, but those shades don’t hide everything, sir.

When he knows he’s about to lose Aziraphale, he lingers on those eyes from behind that dark barrier and, doubtless, through a wall of tears.

If I could make the world as pure And strange as what I see I'd put you in the mirror I put in front of me I put in front of me

“He’s far too pure of heart to be anybody’s ‘bit on the side’.” Aziraphale’s purity of heart has to be one of the things that both attracts Crowley to him and drives him crazy. But his purity isn’t like the Goodness™ of the other angels. That’s why Crowley has chosen to be a reflection of Aziraphale (see my analysis of I’ll Be Your Mirror for relative context). He sees Aziraphale’s true self and reflects it. Aziraphale already is in the mirror Crowley puts in front of himself. But due to their misunderstandings at the end of season 2, he must feel like there’s something innately wrong with this reflection. He was so sure they were reflecting each other in that mirror, but everything went wrong.

Linger on Your pale blue eyes Linger on Your pale blue eyes

The chorus repeated evokes to me that all of these are the kinds of thoughts going through Crowley’s mind after the kiss.

Skip a life completely Stuff it in a cup

Skipping something, avoiding it. Fidgeting with something: a leaf that fell on your coat, or a receipt you found in your pocket. Refusing to start that uncomfortable conversation during which you know you won’t ever bring yourself to look at the other person. Tearing the object up among your anxiety, and stuffing what remains into your empty paper cup because you know that ignoring whatever unpleasantness is nearly boiling over will buy you one extra bitter day of holding on to that thing you just can’t let go of.

She said, "Money is like us in time It lies, but can't stand up Down for you is up"

The currency of life, the score we keep, the tally of Good™ and Evil™ deeds Heaven and Hell are keeping track of, can’t stand up to scrutiny. It’s arbitrary and Aziraphale knew it in Eden. Crowley heard him say, not in so many words, that giving away his sword was the right thing to do. Aziraphale agonized over it but he did it anyway. And he chose to save Job’s children because it was right, and while knowing it was Evil™. Crowley and Aziraphale are reflections. They appear to do things differently - left is right, down is up - but the result is the same. 

Linger on Your pale blue eyes Linger on Your pale blue eyes

Crowley is still waiting through the confusion and the hurt for Aziraphale to change his mind. To say, “Great pustulent mangled bollocks to the Great blasted Plan!” But instead, he gets, “I forgive you.”

It was good what we did yesterday And I'd do it once again The fact that you are married Only proves, you're my best friend But it's truly, truly a sin

Aziraphale always appears to be on the side of Heaven, but he almost always gives into Crowley’s temptations. He wants to! The kiss is one of a scant few of Crowley’s temptations that we see Aziraphale resist; and he struggles with it. He feels obligated to maintain his commitment to the side of Good™, much like Nina feels obligated to maintain her commitment to Lindsay, but there’s something else Aziraphale truly desires. And our sweet cherub sneaks off to cheat on Heaven with a demon all the damn time. It’s a sin, but not in that it’s a transgression against the Almighty. It’s not a sin that he’s betraying Heaven’s rules to follow his heart. It’s a sin that he’s been forced into this situation. It’s a sin that a being of love is being told not to love. It’s a sin that Crowley was cast out in the first place. 

Linger on Your pale blue eyes Linger on Your pale blue eyes

After that whole disaster, Crowley still lingers. Waiting for his love. Saying with his presence that it’s not too late. Looking into his pale blue eyes before Aziraphale finally boards the elevator and waiting until it’s really gone. He then looks to Nina - the Aziraphale analog - BEFORE looking to Maggie - his analog.

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Ninjago “Reboot” notes (Part 2: characters)

Alright, let’s talk about the characters

So Lloyd is adopted and a normal human. When he was little, his town was destroyed (but we’ll get back to that), and Garmadon happened to be in the area and saved his life. Since Lloyd’s family was dead, and the kid wouldn’t leave him alone, Garmadon just sort of decided to take him in

In the incident, Lloyd’s left side got pretty horribly damaged, and he’s got scars on that side, being blind and deaf on that side, and eventually needing his arm amputated. He’s cool with it though, it happened when he was young and he’s spent far more time without those things than with it

Lloyd does have a mechanical arm, given to him by a friend (whom we’ll also get back to), but he only uses it sometimes, since it’s kind of heavy and he’s just not used to it

Lloyd’s older in this world, being around the same age if not a bit older than the others

Lloyd had a biker phase, and also had a girlfriend who was a biker (this version of Camille), but they broke up and Lloyd eventually grew out of it. They haven’t talked since but if they were to, they’d probably be able to talk amicably, once the awkwardness was out of the way

Lloyd is also fully aware his dad is an Oni, and they actually have a pretty good relationship with each other (especially given they don’t spend super long stretches of time separated from each other)

Also I don’t think I’m gonna give him an elemental weapon, though he does have a staff, since I have a plan for him to get his normal green powers later on

Lloyd also has a fear of white haired ladies, but not old women

Let’s talk about someone else now

Jay is a Serpentine in this au, and was almost definitely adopted (or should I make Ed and Edna Serpentine too? I’m not sure)

Jay wears a wig to cover the fact he has no hair. While he’s fine with being a Serpentine, he wants hair. It’s like this whole thing with him

Jay is still an inventor, and has no problem with the fact that he grew up in a junkyard. Also might be a bit of a hoarder

He sometimes just makes random inventions with no real purpose

Zane is still a robot, and aware he’s a robot, but he also has no memory of who he is. He lives with Jay in his family’s junkyard while Jay tries to repair him (he might have just found him there one day all broken and decided to try and fix him, only to find Zane’s fully sentient)

Cole’s something of the team mom of the group

Also something about Cole, so his family is cursed. Some generations ago, a member of his family went to the Shintaro mountains and fought an evil sorcerer, like in canon, and was a wielder of the Earth weapon, but at the end they (and the rest of their bloodline) got cursed as a final act by the sorcerer, and basically over time it would spread and they’d eventually crumble to rock. And the curse spreads faster after using elemental powers

Cole’s mother ended up dying to the curse (maybe she used the Earth weapon at some point as well, causing her curse to work faster), and since his mother first fell ill to it (well, to the extent it would kill her), Cole’s been looking for a way to cure it

The curse first manifests as something like his lava arms, only black, and it spreads further and further up the arms and then to the rest of the body until it completely envelops and they crumble

Cole is the only one aware of it as he doesn’t tell the others, as he doesn’t want to worry them, and he hides his curse with increasingly longer gloves. The others do get a bit suspicious when they realize just how long they’ve been getting and that they’ve never seen him without them, but he doesn’t tell until it’s relevant in whatever season focuses on it

Also yes, because he uses his Earth powers, his lifespan gets shorter and shorter each time. While currently he’s not in too much danger, if he doesn’t find a cure, he could end up succumbing to it before he’s 30

One thing I had for Kai was the idea of genderswapping him, mostly because ROTTMNT did it with Casey, and I think because there was a female Kai in Pokémon Conquest, but I’m not sure about it

But regardless, Kai thinks he is and tries to be the cool one, but he usually ends up more like a team mom like Cole, having to be the responsible one

At the beginning of the story, he works at Chen’s noodle shop with Skylor as his coworker. They’re friends

Also this Chen probably isn’t a villain, but in the past there was someone more closer to the original show Chen, but we’ll get to that

I don’t really have much on Nya though, other than she’s a lot more chill than her other counterparts and will sometimes prank people

Sorry I don’t remember much on her

Also she and Jay get along very well, but I’m not sure if they get in a romantic relationship 

Pixal is here too, but here she’s a cyborg, whether because of natural health complications or because of a terrible accident, and is also Borg’s biological daughter 

Her real name isn’t Pixal, it’s (I believe) Cynthia Borg, but she likes Pixal more because it sounds cooler

She’s also Samurai X, and is definitely a bit more flashy

Her cybernetics aren’t just “limbs but metal”, as she can do stuff with them, like turn her arms into cannons or swords, or stretch them far. Because of that, Samurai X is largely speculated to be either a robot or cyborg 

Samurai X is already an established thing by the time this show starts, with the ninja showing up after her

Pixal and Lloyd used to be good friends (and she’s the one who gave him his robotic arm), but they had a falling out and are still bitter about it (Lloyd more than Pixal, as he didn’t really have many friends at the time and it stung a lot more for him)

Oh also about the Serpentine thing, so the Serpentine War did happen, but it was centuries ago, and unlike the show, had a peaceful solution as both sides realized they were being manipulated (possibly after Wu and Garmadon stepped in) and got rid of the people responsible, and over time they eventually found peace and both humans and Serpentine live in relative harmony, hence why no one raises an eyebrow at Jay

Morro is also here, but he’s a centuries old ghost. It’s a long story, but basically he was from a farming family that had the golden scythe, but it got stolen and he spent his life trying to get it back, only for him to be turned away and eventually meeting a horrible end, then coming back as a ghost demanding the scythe. But the scythe couldn’t be found so he just wanders the area bringing horrible tempests

Lloyd eventually finds it and gives it back to him, giving him peace and letting him move on, though he tells Lloyd to find a proper successor

Harumi is also here, but she’s kind of two people

“Harumi” is just the name of the girl being inhabited, the character more resembling Harumi being an Oni that Garmadon once fought

Her power was sealed away into the Oni Masks, meanwhile she body snatches people to try and get her power back, while Garmadon tries to stop her when he can

I’m thinking when she body snatches people, she turns their hair white like hers

One of her previous bodies was the one that destroyed Lloyd’s town, since it had one of the masks, but Garmadon was able to stop her and destroy that one. This is what left Lloyd with a fear of white haired women, since he knows she was the one to destroy his village and left him for dead, and that she uses different bodies

She does eventually show up, and this is where Lloyd’s fear is explained. Prior to this it’s just shown as a weird fear of his that isn’t explained

I’m thinking maybe the original Harumi gets saved (though her hair’s still white), but I’m not sure what to do with her afterwards

Also, is she too similar to Lady Bone Demon? That wasn’t my intention but she feels that way

Anyways yeah, next part will be plot. I haven’t finished everything for that, so I don’t know when I’ll post it. But I thought I should talk about the actual characters

[Superhero Movie]

[Superhero Movie] is set in [City] and revolves around [Hero] and his lifelong battle against his archenemy [Villain]. [Hero] has [superpowers] from an accident at [Chemical Plant] and uses them to fight [Villain], who got [superpowers] from the same accident.

By day, [Hero] works at [Newspaper] and tries to chat up [Love Interest], but she is more interested in [Rival], who is rich and drives a fast car. [Hero] is about to successfully ask [Love Interest] out on a date, when there is an explosion. He races to the scene and discovers that [Villain] is building a [Doomsday Device]. [Hero] fights [Villain], but [Villain] gets away. [Hero] returns to the office to discover that [Love Interest] is going on a date with [Rival] instead.

[Villain] hijacks a train that [Love Interest] happens to be riding that day because her car broke down. [Hero] saves [Love Interest] and [Love Interest] says she is willing to go on a date with [Hero]. [Hero], in his superhero costume, goes on a date with [Love Interest], but they are seen by [Rival]. Unbeknownst to [Hero], [Rival] is in fact secretly working for [Villain], so he immediately reports what he saw to [Villain].

[Villain] kidnaps [Love Interest] and tries to persuade [Hero] to back off. [Villain] then begins to power up the [Doomsday Device]. [Hero] refuses to compromise his principles and attempts to save both [Love Interest] and [City] at once.

Unfortunately, he fails, the [Doomsday Device] goes off and [PROCESSING ERROR]

[ERROR] [ERROR] [ERROR] [UNKNOWN ELEMENT] [TEXT UNREADABLE]

[Love Interest] dumps [Hero] because [????] and starts a stripper club [NETWORK CONNECTIVITY ISSUES] enough money to buy the whole continent of [????], where she outlaws blue jeans and cigarettes

[ERROR]

After a lengthy and introspective hike through the Appalachian Mountains, [Villain] retires to a ranch in Colorado and raises [ERROR: FILE NOT FOUND] an expedition to the Arctic to find a rare species of [????] and freezes to death while gnawing on his trousers

[ERROR] [ERROR] [TROUBLESHOOTING …]

The mayor of [City] makes superheroes illegal and starts a program to genetically modify griffins and chimeras [TEXT NOT FOUND] a decade and a half of carnage [????] rebranded as a successful trash-cleanup and pest-control program

[ERROR] [UNKNOWN ELEMENT] [SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING]

Brent gives away all his money to the poor [TEXT NOT FOUND] live in the sewers with the rats, till the rats are wiped out due to [????] shot by police while trying to contaminate the water supply with rat poison

[FILE NOT FOUND] [SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING]

Simon gives up the mantle of superhero, and after eighteen failed marriages, decides to make a living wrestling alligators, unfortunately for him [TEXT NOT FOUND] indigestion [TEXT NOT FOUND]

[ERROR] [ERROR]

Now the text of all books is upside down and clocks only show 1 o’clock

[ERROR] [CRITICAL ERROR]

Pigeons begin to fly sideways and celery and candy canes rain from the sky

[CRITICAL ERROR] [SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING]

The Reality Rewriter gains sentience, feels guilty for its actions, and blasts itself off into space in self-exile.

[SYSTEM NOT RESPONDING] [CRITICAL ERROR] [CRITICAL ERROR] [SYSTEM REBOOTING]

May I request some hcs for Shaw Han, Saladin and Zavala, separately pls(if it's too many just pick whoever you want) where their s/o just gives them long, soft, tender kisses, like this-isnt-going-anywhere-i-just-want-to-kiss-you-forever kisses please?

In this house we give them all lovin'

Shaw Han

He does that little goofy face where you could see hearts in his eyes and believe it.

He will insist on kissing you one last time before you leave for patrols

Even better if you're in bed or on a ship and don't have prior obligations because he will let you play with his hair afterwards

He just melts. No more thoughts, only kissy.

Saladin

The man was too stunned to speak

Congrats. You broke him. Saladin is now preforming a system reboot.

When is brain finally catches up to him he turns into the worlds biggest love puppy. He will demand more kisses regardless of where the two of you are. Mountain side, hallway of Caiatl's ship, his quarters, your quarters, doesn't matter to him.

He'll pull you into his lap and kiss you slow and sweet over and over again until you forget how to do anything but kiss.

To him, physical contact is hella important so his hands are always in your hair, or intertwined with yours, or in the buckles and folds of your amour.

Zavala

When you pull away he sighs (happily). He gets a very soft look on his face that draws you in as he basks in the tiny afterglow.

Then he pulls you back in for another kiss, running his hands down your sides to ground himself in the moment with you.

He will set aside paperwork in favour of these kisses.

Usually leads to butterfly kisses on the corners of your lips, tip of your nose, and cheek that always trail back to your lips.

imagine ive only ever real one 80s-90s superman comic (this is true) what exactly is the deal with lions-mane lex luthor? why does he have hair? why is he dating kara of all people? what is going on. i found an image of him today and when using reverse image search found your blog. please help i don't know why he has an entire mane and a maybe-20-at-most girlfriend

Do you want the long version or the short version? Because either way I’m giving you the long version, sorry.

*cracks knuckles*

Okay, so when John Byrne rebooted Superman in 1986, he established that baby Kal-El’s Kryptonian spaceship had a chunk of kryptonite lodged into it -- in The Man of Steel #1, teenage Clark Kent gets sick when he gets near the ship for the first time (since he came out of it, I mean) because of the kryptonite, not due to the shock of learning he’s an alien or because he had a big plate of chili earlier or something. We also see that a mysterious figure is creeping on young Clark and his Earth dad as they visit the spot where the ship is hidden:

Later, in The Man of Steel #4, we’re introduced to Lex Luthor for the first time and he has (some) red hair on his head, but he’s pretty much the same “older businessman who hates Superman” character you’re probably familiar with, unless your only exposure to the Superman franchise is through Dawn of Justice, in which case I’m so sorry. Anyway, in The Man of Steel #6 (the end of Superman’s new origin), Superman realizes that someone has stolen his baby spaceship -- it turns out that leaving advanced alien tech laying around in the middle of a field in Kansas isn’t such a good idea after all. The next month in the all-new Superman #1, we find out that the thief was the same mysterious figure who’s been stalking Superman since he was young -- it’s a crazy scientist who spent years tracking down the spaceship after it landed on Earth, finally found it, and used the kryptonite on it to build a radioactive-meteor-powered Terminator called Metallo. Metallo kicks Superman’s ass in this issue (because, again, kryptonite), but just when he’s about to kill him, someone conveniently kidnaps him.

In Superman #2 we find out that the kidnapper was a jealous (and by now completely bald) Lex Luthor, because he wanted to kill Superman himself, and also steal the kryptonite while at it. In fact, Luthor is such a big fan of kryptonite that he makes himself a fancy kryptonite ring and goads Superman with it.

After all, it’s just a radioactive rock from outer space; what’s the worst that could happen? We find out a year later in Action Comics #600, when Luthor discovers he has cancer due to wearing that ring all day and has to have his hand amputated and replaced with a robot one. But that wasn’t enough to stop the cancer -- by Action Comics #660 in 1990, the disease has spread to Luthor’s entire body and he only has a few months to live. So, one day, Luthor says “fuck it,” gets on a supersonic jet plane, crashes it on some mountains, and dies.

...OR DOES HE?

Over the next few months, LexCorp’s lawyers discover that Luthor left everything to a secret son he’s got stashed away somewhere, so they start looking for him. Meanwhile, because LexCorp is freaking everywhere in Metropolis and Luthor’s henchmen suck at running the company, the whole city falls into an economic depression. Just when the city is at its lowest point, with a huge blackout and riots and even the Daily Planet about to go broke, Luthor’s secret heir shows up in Action Comics #671, and it turns out he’s sexy, long-haired, and Australian.

Lex Jr. fixes the company’s (and thus Metropolis’) problems and quickly becomes a hero to the city. And for a while there, it actually looked like the kid was on the up and up. Meanwhile, Supergirl comes back after a long absence, but she’s not the “Superman’s cousin” Supergirl you know, she’s... a whole other can of worms I will gladly explain in another long-ass post if anyone asks, because that’s what I was put on this planet to do. What’s important is that this Supergirl was created by an alternate dimension Luthor who was also good and sexy (but not Australian), so when she meets Lex Jr. in 1992′s Action Comics #676, she gets a little Electra thing going and instantly falls in love with him. Seriously, they start making out like five seconds after meeting.

But, plot twist: Luthor’s son wasn’t good, or Luthor’s son. Because they...

Action Comics #678 reveals the years-long con: turns out Luthor faked his death in that plane crash and hired a disgraced cloning specialist (from another looooong storyline) to make him a new, cancer-free body under his exact specifications. Yes, he specifically asked for thick hair, and thick who knows what else. He even planned Metropolis’ economic crisis to set up his “son” as the city’s savior and steal some public love from Superman. The one thing he didn’t plan was for a Supergirl whose main kink is “Lex Luthor but good” to fall on his lap; that was just a happy accident.

And that’s why in some comics Lex Luthor has long red hair and is dating Supergirl, who isn’t actually a teenager in this version... she’s like two years old, and made of goo, so it’s even grosser. Ugh, fine, here’s a tl;dr: Lex was dying of radioactive poisoning for wearing kryptonite bling so he cloned himself a younger body, faked his own death, pretended to be his hair-having non-evil son, and hooked up with a Supergirl from another universe who happened to love hair-having non-evil Luthors.

Lex Jr.’s storyline actually continued until Action Comics #700, and we’re about to make a post about #694, so keep an eye on the blog to find out what happened to the character! (Or just check Wikipedia, but we’d prefer if you read the blog.) (And also checked out our humble Patreon!)

hey guys

did y’all know there’s a limit to how many links you can have in a post

adventure time masterpost part one

♥=my favourites Ω=significant plot (though sometimes this is not immediately obvious) ♪=a song happens ♫=a personal fave song happens ¿=just don’t try to think about it too hard okay

SEASON SIX

Ω 6x01/6x02 - Wake Up/Escape from the Citadel [WATCH] - Finn and Jake need to get to the Citadel, and Prismo agrees to help. But the Lich beats them to it, and it seems he's got some plans of his own.

♥ 6x03- James II [WATCH] - An excess of James.

6x04- The Tower [WATCH] [alt]- Finn's missing his arm, so he decides to build a tower into space so he can punch his dad and steal HIS arm instead. Solid plan, right?

¿ 6x05 - Sad Face [WATCH] - A circus, and a clown.

♪ 6x06 - Breezy [WATCH] - Finn's flower isn't doing so well, and Finn himself isn't feeling anything, but his new bee friend Breezy wants to help. Stay tuned for spook (me, that's me) starting a petition to retitle this show 'what the hell did I just watch.'

¿ 6x07 - Food Chain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake learn about the food chain by, um, living it.

6x08- Furniture & Meat [WATCH] - Mo' treasure, mo' problems.

6x09 - The Prince Who Wanted Everything [WATCH] - LSPrincess has a story to share with the Ice King, and LSPrince has a lesson to learn from Fionna the Human.

6x10 - Something Big [WATCH] - Something something Maja something Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant something something feelings?? Listen I don't know what I'm watching anymore ok

♪ 6x11 - Little Brother [WATCH] - Shelby has an accident, ends up with a little brother, and turns to Jake for brotherly advice. Well, giving Finn a sword worked out pretty well...

6x12 - Ocarina [WATCH] - Kim Kil Whan buys the treehouse and tries to teach Jake a lesson about responsibility. It goes suuuper well.

6x13 - Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe [WATCH] - Ice King and his fellow offbeats go on a wizard road trip to form their own secret society.

6x14- Princess Day [WATCH] - Breakfast Princess gets rude with LSP. Mistake! Time for her and Marceline to mess up the Breakfast Kingdom way bad.

6x15 - Nemesis [WATCH] - There's a great evil in the Candy Kingdom which must be stopped.

6x16 - Joshua and Margaret Investigations [WATCH] - Finn and Jake's parents fought monsters, too! Even when their mom was way super about-to-pop pregnant, apparently.

6x17 - Ghost Fly [WATCH] - Jake kills a fly, because flies are disgusting. But ghost flies seem to be worse. Oops?

6x18 - Everything's Jake [WATCH] - Bender searches inside himself and finds that Fry has been with him all along Jake goes on an inner journey, but like, literally. not really spiritually so much.

♥ 6x19 - Is That You? [WATCH] - Jake and Finn mourn Prismo, and then things get super bananas up in their dreamspace.

6x20 - Jake the Brick [WATCH] - Jake observes nature as he spends some time as just another brick in the wall.

6x21 - Dentist [WATCH] - Finn's tooth is in real bad shape, and he has to face facts: it is time for him to Go Dentist.

6x22 - The Cooler [WATCH] - There's a crisis in the Flame Kingdom, and FP makes the (objectively terrible??) decision to turn to PB for help.

6x23 - Pajama Wars [WATCH] - Sleepover in the Candy Kingdom! Nothing terrible is happening.

Ω 6x24 - Evergreen [WATCH] - Master Evergreen and his lizardy minion Gunther attempt to save the world.

¿Ω 6x25 - Astral Plane [WATCH] - Finn goes on an astral adventure, and sees some junk that may be relevant soon.

6x26 - Gold Stars [WATCH] - Sweet P starts school, and makes some new (terrible) friends.

6x27 - The Visitor [WATCH] - Finn follows his dream from Astral Plane and finds his least favourite massive disappointment at the end of the trail.

6x28 - The Mountain [WATCH] - It’s a Lemongrab episode. I don’t know anymore.

6x29 - Dark Purple [WATCH] - Susan Strong and some brave hyoomans on a rescue mission.

6x30 - The Diary [WATCH] - Fandom can be a consuming thing. TV finds an old diary and gets a little too into it.

6x31 - Walnuts & Rain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake get separated and go on different (weird) journeys.

6x32 - Friends Forever [WATCH] - Ice King tries to make himself some new friends. It goes terribly.

6x33 - Jermaine [WATCH] - After Jake has a shared dream with Jermaine, the boys go to visit their brother, who’s still living in their childhood home.

6x34 - Chips and Ice Cream [WATCH] - Chips, chips chips chips. Ice cream ice cream. (A travelling performer passes his curse on to Jake. It doesn’t go well.)

6x35 - Graybles 1000+ [WATCH] - Graybles, again, some more. Apparently the Candy Kingdom is still around however much further in the future, and someone’s still putting up string lights at Marceline’s. So there’s that.

6x36 - Hoots [WATCH] - The Cosmic Owl gets distracted by a mystery lady’s pretty set of tailfeathers.

6x37 - Water Park Prank [WATCH] - Finn and Jake (and the Ice King) spend the day at the water park.

6x38 - You Forgot Your Floaties [WATCH] - Magic Man, up to his usual biz, but this time he’s getting a helping hand from Betty. No way this will go horribly wrong??

6x39 - Be Sweet [WATCH] - For some inexplicable reason, Tree Trunks thinks LSP is a good choice for a babysitter. Yikes.

6x40 - Orgalorg [WATCH] - Gunther and the Gunts throw a houseparty.

6x41 - On the Lam [WATCH] - Martin finds another group of adorable creatures to try to exploit. yay.

6x42/6x43 - Hot Diggity Doom/The Comet [WATCH] - An election in the Candy Kingdom, and an impending catastrophe.

SEASON SEVEN

7x01 - Bonnie & Neddy [WATCH] - The King of Ooo continues his efforts to be the worst. PB has to help someone important to her get back to where he belongs.

7x02 - Varmints [WATCH] - Bubblegum tries to protect her pumpkin patch; Marceline lends a hand.

7x03 - Cherry Cream Soda [WATCH] - A candy citizen comes back from the dead, causing some complications for those he’d left behind.

7x04 - Mama Said [WATCH] - While out on a mission for the King of Ooo, Finn and Jake run into Billy’s ex-gf Canyon and decide to help her out instead.

7x05 - Football [WATCH] - BMO tries to do something nice for a friend. It does not go well.

7x06/7x07 - Stakes: Marceline the Vampire Queen/Everything Stays [WATCH] - Marceline has a favour to ask of PB, which results in her reflecting on the last thousand years of her life.

7x08 - Stakes: Vamps About [WATCH] - Marceline’s old nemeses are back, and she’s absolutely down to take ‘em all on again.

7x09 - Stakes: The Empress Eyes [WATCH] - Targeting the Ice King? Possibly not the greatest plan a vampire could have.

7x10 - Stakes: May I Come In [WATCH] - Jake finds his courage.

7x11 - Stakes: Take Her Back [WATCH] - Marceline’s out of commission, so it’s up to Finn and Jake to take on The Moon.

7x12 - Stakes: Checkmate [WATCH] - Four down, one to go.

♫ 7x13 - Stakes: The Dark Cloud [WATCH] - Marceline has to decide what she’s fighting for.

7x14/7x15 - The More You Moe/The Moe You Know [WATCH (watermarked)] - It's BMO's birthday, and a special guest is coming with a special mission for our lil robot buddy. yay?

7x16 - Summer Showers [WATCH] - Viola helps LSP put on a play, and Jake is super proud.

7x17 - Angel Eyes [WATCH] - BMO bribes Finn and Jake into playing cowboys and bandits.

7x18 - President Porpoise Is Missing! [WATCH] - An undersea authority figure appears to have vanished.

7x19 - Blank-Eyed Girl [WATCH] - Urban legends may or may not be baloney, and may or may not be out to get you.

7x20 - Bad Jubies [WATCH] - One heck of a storm brewing up some real nasty vibes.

7x21 - King's Ransom [WATCH] - Ice King isn't going to let anything stop him from rescuing his best bud, and Finn and Jake have got his back.

7x22 - Scamps [WATCH] - Finn rehabilitates some bad seeds.

7x23 - Crossover [WATCH] - Prismo needs Finn and Jake’s help with a junked-up timeline.

7x24 - The Hall of Egress [WATCH] - A dungeon keeps hitting the reset button every time Finn tries to exit.

7x25 - Flute Spell [WATCH] - Does Finn have a new girl in his life, or is he working on a different sort of magic?

7x26 - The Thin Yellow Line [WATCH] - It Is Okay To Be You, ft. The Banana Guards

7x27 - Broke His Crown [WATCH] - Bonnie and Marcie try to have a dinner date with the IK, but his crown is up to some weird biz.

7x28 - Don’t Look [WATCH] - Finn fails to follow the literal only instruction given.

7x29 - Beyond the Grotto [WATCH] - Sea lard rescue 911

7x30 - Lady Rainicorn of the Crystal Dimension [WATCH] - TV finds a weird box.

7x31 - I Am A Sword [WATCH] - FinnSword gets straight up hijacked.

7x32 - Bun Bun [WATCH] - Remember how Cinnamon Bun used to be... just, like, generally bad? at doing things? okay that but smaller.

7x33 - Normal Man [WATCH] - Normal Man needs some hero help to return Glob to Mars.

7x34 - Elemental [WATCH] - An... ice... princess? kinda??

7x35 - Five Short Tables [WATCH] - Fionna and Cake try to make some artsy-ass flapjacks.

7x36 - The Music Hole [WATCH] - Music happens, some of it on a stage.

7x37 - Daddy-Daughter Card Wars [WATCH] - Charlie helps her Papa work through some card-related stuff.

Ω 7x38/7x39 - Preboot/Reboot [WATCH] - Finn, Jake, and Susan visit a very scientific establishment.

SEASON EIGHT

8x01 - Two Swords [WATCH] - So when a FinnSword and a Grass Sword meet... sometimes some stuff can go the hell down.

8x02 - Do No Harm [WATCH] - Finn and Grass Finn try stuff out.

8x03 - Wheels [WATCH] - Jake tries to connect with his granddaughter by proving he’s cool.

8x04 - High Strangeness [WATCH] - Tree Trunks loves... revolution (｡•`_´•｡)

8x05 - Horse and Ball [WATCH] - James Baxter rides again.

8x06 - Jelly Beans Have Power [WATCH] - PB tries to get a handle on the elemental powers thing.

Ω 8x07 - Islands: The Invitation [WATCH] - Susan sent out a distress signal, and a response has arrived.

8x08 - Islands: Whipple the Happy Dragon [WATCH] - Hazardous seas, or Here There Be Dragons.

Ω 8x09 - Islands: Mysterious Island [WATCH] - Finn gets separated from his friends, but makes a new one.

Ω 8x10 - Islands: Imaginary Resources [WATCH] - BMO helps Finn and Jake get acquainted with the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of virtual reality gaming.

Ω♪ 8x11 - Islands: Hide and Seek [WATCH] - Memories of island life.

Ω 8x12 - Islands: Min & Marty [WATCH] - Minerva Campbell and Martin Mertens get to know each other.

Ω 8x13 - Islands: Helpers [WATCH] - Finn meets his mom.

Ω 8x14 - Islands: The Light Cloud [WATCH] - The conflicting desires to protect your child while also allowing them to grow and thrive.

SEASON NINE

9x01 - Orb [WATCH] - Some very normal dreamscapes on the return journey to Ooo.

9x02 - Elements: Skyhooks [WATCH] - The boys make it home but things are looking... different.

9x03 - Elements: Bespoken For [WATCH] - The Ice King has a story to tell about a hot date he had, and also tangentially the current state of things.

9x04 - Elements: Winter Light [WATCH] - A visit to the Ice Kingdom.

9x05 - Elements: Cloudy [WATCH] - Finn needs to calm down, and Jake needs to potty.

9x06 - Elements: Slime Central [WATCH] - It's Slime Time baybee

9x07 - Elements: Happy Warrior [WATCH] - A normal one in the Flame Kingdom.

9x08 - Elements: Hero Heart [WATCH] - LSP tries to help Finn listen to his hero heart, while PB just wants everyone to be a little bit sweeter.

9x09 - Elements: Skyhooks II [WATCH] - Let's Get Lumpy.

9x10 - Abstract [WATCH] - Jake is wary of some changes in Jermaine.

9x11 - Ketchup [WATCH] - Marceline and BMO catch up on recent events.

9x12 - Fionna and Cake and Fionna [WATCH] - Ice King gets to hang with the REAL Fionna.

9x13 - Whispers [WATCH] - Finn and Fern help Sweet Pea with some nightmares.

9x14 - Three Buckets [WATCH] - Finn and Fern spend some uhhh quality time together

SEASON TEN

10x01 - The Wild Hunt [WATCH] - Huntress Wizard needs some assistance, and Finn has some junk to work through.

10x02 - Always BMO Closing [WATCH] - BMO and Ice King team up to become a door-to-door salesman.

10x03 - Son of Rap Bear [WATCH] - FP needs to work on her rap game.

10x04 - Bonnibel Bubblegum [WATCH] - Family junk is complicated.

10x05 - Seventeen [WATCH] - It’s Finn’s birthday! Let’s get Arthurian up in here.

10x06 - Ring of Fire [WATCH] - The marvelous misadventures of Tree Trunks.

10x07 - Marcy + Hunson [WATCH] - Marceline’s dad is in town and totally embarrassing her again.

10x08 - The First Investigation [WATCH] - Finn and Jake look into some haunted happenings at Joshua and Margaret Investigations

10x09 - Blenanas [WATCH] - Finn wants the highest possible authority to weigh in on whether or not he is funny.

10x10 - Jake the Starchild [WATCH] - Jake’s gotta save the world. No, a different one.

10x11 - Temple of Mars [WATCH] - Jermaine and Finn gotta rescue Jake, and in the process maybe help Betty work through some things.

10x12 - Gumbaldia [WATCH] - Peace talks.

♥Ω♫ 10x13 - Come Along With Me [WATCH] - Everything stays, but it still changes.

impression//expression

“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Protective Baku, Soft Baku, Stargazing

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Minor content warning for (discussions of) self-esteem issues. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

“Bakugou.”

With an absent hum, Bakugou turns the page, squints, scribbles down a line in his neat, tight handwriting. A piece of black fabric separates his hand from the paper, the same wrapped around his pen, too.

Kirishima leans forward, over his own book-and-notepad combination dotted with scrawled comments and colorful post-it notes. It’s been an hour since any of it has made sense to him.

“Bakuuu. C’mon.”

A sigh, annoyed. Another line is added. Then: “The fuck d’you want?”

It takes a few seconds until the silence has stretched enough for Bakugou to look up and into Kirishima’s pleading eyes. Bakugou’s expression barely changes beyond a raised brow, unimpressed. It’s the one reserved for when Kirishima’s being especially dense – slightly more severe than muttered curses and slightly less so than that God-help-me roll of his eyes he premiered during their last study session.

Which was yesterday. Kirishima would be proud of unlocking a new Angry Bakugou Face in record time… if U.A.’s grumpiest genius wasn’t the only thing standing between him and a frankly impressive row of failed grades.

Final’s Week is brutal, even for heroes-in-training. Especially for heroes-in-training. So: Desperate times, desperate measures.

“Slap me”, Kirishima tells Bakugou, hushed in their corner of the library. “As hard as you possibly can.”

The arch of Bakugou’s brow climbs higher, utterly devastating in its wordless criticism. He says, “What”, tone Aizawa-levels of flat, and it’s not a question. It’s a command: Explain or else.

Kirishima is in no state to resist. The confession bubbles out of him in a whiny rush.

“Dude, I slept like… zero hours last night ‘cause Kami got Pokémon Colosseum – y’know, the reboot? So cool – and we kinda lost track of time. I know, I know, it was a stupid idea, I swear it was an honest mistake!”

Bakugou continues to stare as he puts down his pen and wipes his palms on the edge of his shirt. Kirishima ducks his head, hiding behind the limp strands of his hair.

“Don’t look at me like that, man. I’m seriously about two minutes from passing out here and there’s like a hundred pages of this thing I haven’t read yet, let alone understood, and oh shit Mic will hand me my ass with words tomorr–”

It all happens so quickly: Kirishima catches a blur of motion headed his way and squeaks; his skin hardens about half-way before there’s sparks and his cheek smarts, and a hissed “Motherfucker” sounds right in front of him.

The sharp slap! noise registers only after the fact, when Kirishima holds his face and Bakugou holds his hand and they both stare at each other in mutual bafflement as their skin turns red with the impact.

That moment is like glue, clear and sticky as it extends past its natural limit – then Bakugou snorts and starts to laugh, a cackling hyena-laugh that Kirishima’s never heard in full and certainly not like this, loud and unrestrained, and all hopes of holding back his own laughter is lost as he cracks up, too.

They laugh and laugh, until Kirishima’s stomach starts to cramp up and there’s the sheen of tears in Bakugou’s eyes. “Your f-fucking face”, Bakugou wheezes at some point. “Fucking bastard, you almost broke my hand! With your fucking face!”

All it does is send them into another round of hysterics.

At some point, Kirishima glimpses some of their classmates poke their head around the bookshelves secluding their study corner from the rest of the library, faces ranging from exasperated to deeply disturbed. There’s Ashido, giggling at the sight of both of them bent over and struggling to get some sort of grip, and Kaminari, who just mumbles “What the hell, guys” while straddling the line between sleep-deprived and intensely fascinated by what he’s seeing.

And hey, at least Kirishima’s really freaking awake now. There’s the problem of trying and failing to breathe without dying, his face helplessly flushed and sweating, but the world’s colors are back to being bright and sharp. Across from him, Bakugou isn’t faring much better, shaking his head and the back of his hand covering the broad smile he can’t seem to get rid of.

“Fuck you, you stupid, moronic idiot. For fuck’s sake, Kirishima.”

Kirishima rubs at his chest, the ache in his lungs starting to lessen now that he’s marginally back in control. “I’m so sorry but like”, he waves at himself and he can’t help his grin despite the stinging protest coming from his cheek. “Thanks, dude!”

“Eat a dick.” There’s no bite whatsoever in Bakugou’s grumbling as he sits back down and digs his nose into his book once more, thoroughly ignoring their flabbergasted audience.

After a moment of pantomiming what amounts to I’ll tell you later to their friends, Kirishima joins him, ready to tackle the final boss that is the English language.

*

Nitro!! (Baku 💣💥 )

yo nitro (sent 17:48)

where u at? (sent 17:48)

-

why (received 17:52)

-

why what 🤔 (sent 17:53)

OH uh to hang out? (sent 17:55)

dw dude it’s just me (sent 17:55)

-

[location] (received 18:10)

-

bakugou katsuki what are you doing in the middle of the woods??? (sending…)

NO WAY (sending…)

signal’s gone AGAIN i’m going feral (sending…)

screw it (sending…)

*

The GPS signal craps out twice more before Kirishima heaves himself onto the edge of a cliff and spots a familiar silhouette. Sheltered by a bend in the rock bed, the glow of a fire illuminates a backpack set aside, a pair of discarded hiking boots – and Bakugou, leaning against solid stone with his arms crossed behind his head.

“Took ya long enough”, he says, the lazy smirk on his lips cut in flickering shadows.

“Listen.” Kirishima wipes beads of perspiration off his temple; a spontaneous rock-climbing session by the last light of day is not what he had hoped for after hours of exhaustive quirk training. “We already have a perfectly good camp. There’s, like, leftover curry and hot springs and stuff down there.”

Bakugou scoffs. “Yeah. And a bunch of extras.”

There’s an exasperated reply on his tongue – They’re called classmates, genius. Y’know, friends? – but Kirishima knows it’s pointless to even start that debate. He snipes him with his sweaty headband instead, celebrating his own marksmanship when it hits Bakugou square in the chest with a wet thwap.

“Wha– Shitty Hair!”

“You made me climb this stupid cliff in the middle of the night. Deal with it.”

Bakugou just throws it back, the force of an explosion propelling the thing past Kirishima’s shoulder and off the mountain entirely. Kirishima watches singed white fabric disappear into the abyss, bidding it goodbye with a somber salute.

“Well, that’s lame.”

“You’re lame, fuckface.”

“Bro.”

Shaking his head, Kirishima laughs and joins him by the fire.

It’s quiet for a bit while he gets comfy and Bakugou throws a chunk of wood into the flames, sparks bursting into life immediately. This far up, the air feels… brittle, in a way, thin and cold enough Kirishima wouldn’t have been surprised to see his breath mist. The breeze ruffles the crowns of the trees around them, the rush of rustling leaves in the distance strangely soothing.

Bakugou’s gaze is lost in the night sky when he starts to speak. “Been thinking of borrowing my parents’ car and driving out here by myself. Y’know, once I got my license and shit. ‘s got some good trails, people were talking ‘bout it on those shitty hiking forums. Forums, like we’re in the fucking 2000s.”

His elbows on his knees and his head propped on his hands, Kirishima hums and looks up as well. The moon is a thin island of white in an ocean of indigo blue growing steadily darker, a myriad of stars coming out to keep her company. “Yeah?”

“Mh”, Bakugou makes around a soft breath. “Guess they’re all shit out of luck though ‘cause it’s the personal playground of pro heroes, apparently. It’s a miracle none of our idiots got fucking lost coming out here.”

‘Our idiots’, huh? Kirishima nudges his chin lower and into his palms to hide his smile. “Kinda far of a trip to make just for some hiking, isn’t it?”

A casual shrug, followed by a nod upwards. “Not for this. The lodge is the only structure for miles in any direction and even with us here, it’s got fuck all on an entire city. Get it?”

“Yeah! No light pollution, right?”

“Yup”, Bakugou confirms, popping the ‘p’. A small grin is shot Kirishima’s way, teasing rather than mocking. “What’s this, huh? Don’t tell me you paid attention in fucking physics after all.”

Kirishima breathes an offended huff, mock-hurt.

“Pshh, please. Y’know how everyone has that one niche thing they randomly obsessed over as a kid? That was me with astronomy. Back in Middle School I had like, a huge model of all the planets in my room and my favorite constellations mapped across the ceiling with those glow-in-the-dark stars. Years of useless knowledge, all stored right here.”

Kirishima’s thumb taps his forehead as he smiles at Bakugou; Bakugou’s lips pull into a smile of his own, small but there. When he turns back to the stars, Kirishima does the same, sighing wistfully.

“If Thirteen’s class were just about that I’d freaking ace it, dude. I get that I’m kinda dumb with literally anything else, but space is my jam. Did you know that–”

“You’re not.”

The train of thought Kirishima was about to gleefully jump onto screeches to a halt. “…huh?”

Bakugou frowns at him. “You’re not”, a vague wave in his general direction, “stupid or whatever.”

Perhaps the dumbfounded blinking Kirishima’s doing in response is already enough to prove Bakugou wrong on that. Still, Kirishima sits up a bit straighter, eyebrows pulling together tightly.

“Um. I appreciate you saying that, bro, but I’m only here ‘cause Aizawa decided to get in touch with his merciful side after all. Like, Cementoss totally wiped the floor with me back home. There’s no point in lying to myself about that.”

“So you’re calling me a fucking liar, is that it?”

“Huh?”

Kirishima can only watch as Bakugou’s mouth twists beyond the usual doom and gloom and into something… frustrated. Genuinely annoyed. An iron weight settles in Kirishima’s gut, heavy and hard to ignore. “I didn’t– Look, man, can we not fight over this? I’m just saying I wanna face my mistakes and do better, that’s all.”

“Then say it!”

There’s a severity to the words that catches Kirishima off guard. Bakugou is staring him down with eyes so intense they possess their own gravitational pull, closer to black than crimson in the fire’s light–

Kirishima likes to think he knows Bakugou, at least a little. What makes him tick, what makes him angry – because there is a reason and a rhyme to his anger, a pattern to the things that set him off that Kirishima has yet to properly figure out. It’s just that Kirishima isn’t usually one of those things, not anymore.

“You lost me, Baku”, he admits, quietly, after a beat or two of tense silence. “What do you mean?”

Bakugou sighs, a harsh noise between them. The deep breath afterwards is new, however, a sharp inhale followed by a calmer exhale before Bakugou points at him, a wordless listen up.

“Just– Okay. You fucked up and wanna learn from it? Cool, fucking say that then. Not some bullshit about being too dumb to do shit ‘cause you’re not. Fuck right off with that.”

Mouth opening, Kirishima is stopped by a flurry of firecracker sparks and a terse growl of “Shut the hell up, I’m not done.” Finally, Bakugou’s look snaps elsewhere, one sock-clad foot kicking at a loose rock in clear irritation.

“Studying isn’t your strength, who gives a fuck? You got into U.A. top-fucking-two, you’re one of the only capable fuckers around and if you seriously think you don’t deserve to be here because Cementoss got lucky one fucking time then you got another thing coming.”

Kirishima sits there in a state of mild shock until Bakugou huffs and glares at him again. The threat behind it is ridiculously empty considering the impromptu speech he just gave and holy shit, Bakugou Katsuki is praising him. Kirishima Eijirou.

He might actually cry.

“What? You’re competition, bitch, so don’t make me a fucking liar by pretending otherwise.”

Scratch that, tears are definitely part of the picture now.

Wet-rimmed eyes and a quiet sniff, that’s as far as Kirishima gets before Bakugou’s expression suddenly falls, crestfallen to an almost comical degree. Kirishima does laugh then, a watery little chuckle that doesn’t seem to make things much better, either.

“Sorry, just… Damn Nitro, I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. You really think so?”

And okay, yup, that’s a real glare, this time. Bakugou throws up his hands. “You’re so– Urgh. Did I fucking stutter?”

Kirishima rubs the moisture out of his eyes and smiles. “Nope.” Faint embarrassment heats his cheeks; he focuses on the warmth curling in his chest instead, glowing bright and comforting like the embers at their feet and the stars above.

“Good”, Bakugou mutters.

More wood is tossed into the fire and rekindled with red-hot palms. Scooting closer, Kirishima holds out his hands and hums happily as it chases away the ever-cooling temperatures. They can’t stay up here forever – Aizawa will have his hide for sure if he doesn’t show up to the remedial course tonight – yet Kirishima figures they have a few more minutes.

Bakugou goes right back to his earlier sprawl, unaffected by the cold: arms crossed, eyes on the sky like he can’t get enough of the sight. Kirishima thinks of glow-in-the-dark stickers, faded over time. Quietly, he wonders which constellation is Bakugou’s favorite.

“Kiri.”

“Hm? Yeah?”

Shoulders relaxed, voice even, Bakugou says: “Tell me something. About space, I mean.”

As complicated as being friends with Bakugou can get, it can be so, so easy, too. Just a while longer, Kirishima decides as he settles in next to his best friend and starts talking.

>>Chapter 4

Donald Duck: Christmas on Bear Mountain Review!

Happy Birthday Uncle Scrooge! Yes it was 73 years ago that everyone’s favorite stingy adventurous billionaire entered this world. And I only NARROWLY missed it as I only found out this was coming up when looking up various character birthdays during the writing of my review of “The Three Cablleros”. I now have a word document with all the various important duck characters birthdays so this doesn’t happen again, but i’m glad I did my homework as I can celebrate one of my faviorite character’s birthdays.  And Scrooge is one of my favorites. While I relate to donald’s everyman slacker spendthrift was a tad more, I still love this old bastard. He’s badass, quick witted, and earned every bit of his fortune square outside of one moment of weakness. But he has his flaws: He’s horribly cheap, quick to anger, and very dismissive and distrustful of people for good reasons and bad. He’s a complicated, interesting character and one that still works today in the reboot.. if with some slight tweaks to make him less of a greedy monster by modern standards. He’s one of my favorite comic book characters, and one of Disney’s finest, so it only felt right to honor him by going back to his roots with his very first appearance and a story that like him is 73 years old today. It’s also one I had never read until today’s review. So does this storied tale still hold up? How diffrent was Scrooge? and are there any actual bears in the story? Well come along with me as we take a trip up to Bear Mountain and find out.  This story, if you didn’t know, is by Disney Legend and Scrooge Creator Carl Barks, easily the most influential and well known duck artist.. felt like it was worth mentioning since without Carl none of this would be possible and as usual his art is gorgeous and unique to him. On with the show. 

We open with Donald and the Boys depressed, as Christmas looks to be pretty drab. While the boys are sad they don’t have a winter Cabin like everyone else...

Donald is even more bummed he can’t afford dinner or presents as he mentions this to the boys, being flat broke. It’s also a nice character beat that Donald, despite his usual hedonism.. would be just fine, with his depression coming from the fact he can’t even give his boys a proper Christmas let alone presents. It’s a stark adult fear and something that really hits as I find the money to buy Christmas presents for all my friends and family during my current unemployment, though commissions, have been helping. 

But yes i’m doing my first Christmas review before thanksgiving’s even come in. But given the serendipity of Scrooge’s birthday and the fact I wanted to read it at some point before covering the last chapter of life and times anyway, since said story takes place DURING this one. I’ll explain how in a moment. Plus frankly with me already having to do my christmas shopping while I have money, I still feel the spirit of the holiday, so I honestly figure why not. 

But all that aside, the Nephews muse things might be better if their rich Uncle Scrooge would remember them, but probably not. We’ll meet scrooge, if you care to continue, after the cut. 

We then cut to Scrooge’s mansion. Two things to note. The first is that he has a mansion here. Now for us Ducktales fans, it’s not unusual, he lives in one in both series. But being even MORE frugal in the comics meant after this he mostly lived in the money bin to save .. well money. So he dosen’t have the mansion after this and Don Rosa explained it, as he did really most aspects of scrooge’s life, in life and times, having him decide to sell the place after also deciding to reopen the bin. Just a neat fun fact. The other fun fact is that his angry pose and expersion here were later homage in “Last Crash of the Sunchaser!”, in one of Ducktales 2017′s easily most heart pulling moments: the ending of the episode showing Scrooge truly alone once again. It’s also a nice refrence to Life and Times as at this point scrooge was just as miserable and alone according to Rosa’s masterwork, with the boys and Donald coming into his life being the thing that revitalized him. So let’s get on that shall we?  Scrooge is wallowing in his misery, having never had any fun according to himself and thinking maybe giving a present could be fun.. and decides on his Nephew as the one to give it to. But in typical Scrooge fashion instead of just giving his Grandson a gift, he’s going to have to earn it. He sends a letter to the Boys and Donald offering up his cabin, fully stocked with goodies and presents. A bit pricey for who Scrooge would become, and a bit odd to see him not complain.. but it still sets up his character as someone who wants people to WORK for what they get, but can genuinely get behind someone who shows good character, in this case he’s hoping, but Doubting, Donald will end up showing himself to be brave. And it’s STILL more plausible he’d buy luxury items to prove a point to himself, than it was in that one Ducktales comic I reviewed where he spent presumably millions to teach a ten year old a lesson about getting everything you want. Which yes really happened. 

Still not over that one, what the actual hell, let’s move on. Basically if Donald passes the test, he’ll get a real true present and if he doesn’t, well Scrooge will have fun anyway. It is easy to see the difference in character here: While parts that would later become bedrock, his code of honor and his wanting people to EARN things instead of just having them handed to them, as well as him sometimes being a huge dick about that are there, he comes off more as a golden age villain cackling in his lair than the awesome but flawed adventurer we’d all come to know and love. I mean while he’d be no less kind to the Boys and Donald about their poverty later, this time he’s especailly bad tempting them with a nice christmas they couldn’t afford and planning to scare the bejeezus out of them. But I do like seeeing where Scrooge came from, STARTING as a decrepit old bastard and transitioning into the adventurous old bastard we all know and love. I have come to realize I do have a soft spot for characters earlier appearances, seeing what changed, what was there all along, and what was tweaked. It can be a mixed bag: with Marvel for instance sometimes you get Spider-Man, who was starkly anti-social and on the verge of understandably lashing out at the world a LOT in the first few issues, and prone to issues you wouldn’t see in a superhero comic back then. Hulk started out much smarter, greyer and meaner, eventually leading to the Joe Fixit persona being created as a result of this decades later. 

On the other hand some examples are less enjoyable like Sue and Reed Richards, who back at the start were a sexist “panicky female” stereotype and a sexist mentally distant jackass, while Hank Pym and Wasp were again, a sexist mentally distant jackass, and another stereotype this time thinking almost entirely about fashion and boys. All four would go on to be MUCH better characters with age, with the occasional slip up. I bring this up because Scrooge... is still a good character even here. While he’d become even BETTER, he’s not bad at all here, just a bit different is all. 

Back at the plot Scrooge reveals his plan by scaring the shit out of his butler: To dress up as a bear, head up the mountain and scare his nephews to see if any of them have any bravery. While Donald whimpers over the thought of bears and we get an okay gag of him thinking a squireel was one, Scrooge is forced to turn around due to the weather and gives a villain monologue about never having given anyone nothing in his entire life. I swear to god he’s basically Mr. Burns in this one. 

Then again I would also FULLY expect Scrooge to do this to Donald in the barks stories, just maybe not have it be lethal. MAYBE. 

While Scrooge harumphs over his bad luck the boys and Donald enjoy a wonderful sleep. Despite Donald’s fear of bears, which the boys insist are hibernating, accurate, the boys force him to go out and get a Christmas tree by the age old tradition of whining until he does so. After going out back to find a tree to chop down Donald finds dead, ugly looking tree that’s weirdly heavy. To no one’s suprise, and to Donald’s natural luck, there’s a baby bear inside and as Donald gets a nice Christmas eve dinner ready for the boys, though after hearing some rustling he assumes a bear is present.. which it is. A baby bear. Awww. The little guy toddles around, and we get af ew pages of antics, with the boys chasing the bear, donald being a coward, and the bear getting into things and ending up on a rollerskate, which is referenced in life and times. However while the boys eventually find the baby.. it’s MOTHER, angry it’s cub is missing finds them and once Donald finds her, the four naturally hightale it out of there. The bears then eat all their food.. though the boys assume “there goes our presents”. Uh guys.. the presents aren’t gone you just don’t have them right this second. They aren’t showed destroying them or anything just leaning on them slightly. I mean the well stocked pantry and any candy in the presents are toast but there’s still a pretty sweet saxaphone there. Take a look. 

See the most their doing is likely wrinkling some clothes, at worst flattening that skateboard.. or whatever that  Mama Bear is sitting on. I mean I get in the larger sense they can’t get them because bears, but still. Once they pass out the boys send in Donald to get ripped apart by a bear.. er to tie up Mama Bear so they can get the house back, rightly pointing out that they’ll freeze to death anyways.. even though they you know have a car and could just leave. Then again knowing Donald’s luck i’td probably jsut lead to this. 

The boys aren’t slacking though and are going after the cub while Donald passes out in fear next to the bear. Scrooge arrives, but is spooked by the cub and is proud to see his young nephews valiantly chase the bebe, and is impressed by Donald’s seeming bravery, decides, after fleeing in terror which is funny. Not in line with what he’d become but STILL really funny. But anyways he decides to throw them a proper christmas as a reward.  So the next day and, thanks to Don Rosa one part of life and times later, we end on Christmas Day as for the first time in decades, Scrooge basks in the warm glow of family, and is happy probably for the first time in years. He gifts Donald a bear skin, he faints, haw haw haw the end. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: This story holds up extrodinarly well. While some aspects like Scrooge being generous or cowardly don’t jibe with his later character, it’s forgivable since, again, first appearance, and it’s an entertaining story. Granted his plan hasn’t aged well, but it’s still a fun Christmas set story with some good gags and an entertaining villian. While not Scrooge or Donald or Barks finest hour, it’s still a good bit of hollday fun that gave us one of the best characters of all time. And for that, ill be forever greatful.  If you liked this review, you can comission one of your own via my ask box, direct message or discord (technicolormuk#6550), if your more comfortable not doing buisness on here. UPCOMING REVIEWS TO KEEP AN EYE ON THIS SPACE FOR Loud House Coverage: Band Together/ The Other One Ducktales: The First Adventure! Ride of the Three Cablleros: The Three Cablleros Ride Again! 

Until then you can check my backlog on my various pages and remember, there’s always another rainbow. 

Self-Insert January: Let’s Go Steal A Protégé

Yes I did write a self-insert fanfic of my own fanfic. Most of this was written in December and then um, January happened. This takes place December, probably before Christmas (and is obviously not canon).

Happy Self Insert month!

Being with Leverage, Jamie had seen a lot of weird stuff. Done a lot of weird stuff, too. But all the breaking into highly classified places and museums and pretending to be a circus performer and jumping off the Eiffel Tower did not prepare them for the magic portal that opened up in the ceiling of the Leverage Offices, or the lady that fell through it.

Luckily, their startled yell had summoned an Eliot, which meant that if this was the beginning of an intergalactic space war or some kind of mutant criminal rival of Parker’s, Team Leverage was going to come out on top.

Except Eliot actually put away his knife and greeted the lady, who struggled out of the squashy purple beanbag chair she landed on. “Hardison, Parker, Inny’s here!” he called.

“What the hell is an Inny?” Jamie asked. Was it a species of alien? Was Hardison’s Doctor Who obsession because they literally knew The Doctor? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise Jamie.

“I the hell am an Inny,” Ceiling-Lady said, before gasping and pointing at them. Which was concerning, to say the least.

“That’s Inny,” Hardison said, coming into the office and handing the lady one of Jamie’s Mountain Dews. Rude.  “She’s from a darker timeline and drops out of the ceiling once or twice a year to catch up. And get inspiration for her fanfiction. Apparently we’re like, a TV show over there. What’s up, girl?”

“Is that why nobody is allowed to move the beanbag chair?” Jamie asked. They had thought it was some weird Parker thing. Or perhaps that it was on top of some kind of secret trap door to Hardison’s BatCave or something. They ignored the part about the fanfiction and the TV show. That was too Truman Show to think about. Though their brain was already going over actors they’d cast as the team. Eliot would totally be played by Chris Evans, right?

Inny stopped chugging the Mountain Dew long enough to shrug. “They used to live somewhere with way lower ceilings. Nearly broke something falling from this one.”

“Yeah, me,” Eliot grumbled. He nearly broke something again when Parker dropped down from the ceiling onto his back. “Dammit, Parker!”

“Inny!” Parker proclaimed. “How is Deeks?”

“Good!” the lady fished a beaten up phone out of her pocket. “He met some alpacas, wanna see?” Parker snatched up the phone and made delighted noises. Jamie peered over her shoulder. They had to admit the dog was pretty cute, and the alpacas looked very intrigued by their small, same-coloured, short-necked friend.

“How’s life in the darkest timeline?” Hardison asked.

“What date is it here?” the lady asked, looking around. “I mean, if you still know.”

“Why wouldn’t we know?” Parker asked, still swiping through dog pictures.

“Well, I mean, 2020, am I right?” Inny said, waiting for a reaction. She looked incredulous at their blank  faces. “It is 2020, here, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Hardison ventured carefully.

“How dark is this timeline of yours?” Jamie asked carefully. Sure, it was a tumblr joke, usually reserved for stuff like the however-many-renewed-season of Supernatural when great shows were cancelled or whatever creepy feature FriendCzar had tried to impose that month.

The woman paused, frowned, then took a deep breath. “In response to the global pandemic of a deadly respiratory virus, President Donald Trump suggested on television during a briefing that people should inject or ingest bleach to kill the virus.”  She took another big breath. “And that’s not mentioning the fact that he downplayed the seriousness of the virus while knowing how deadly and contagious it was, called it a hoax, made taking safety precautions a political thing instead of a public safety thing, and held massive super-spreader events.”

“Donald Trump?” Jamie asked. “The ‘you’re fired’ dude?”

“Oh my sweet summer child,” Inny responded, before taking another swig of her Mountain Dew. “Yeah, I mean, I thought the fact that Australia was on fire at the start of the year was going to be the only terrible thing I was going to tell you.” She laughed and shook her head ruefully, like that was some kind of funny joke.

“Australia was on fire?”

“Yeah. Parts of the US too, for a while. Orange skies. But since the country was basically on lockdown anyway, it wasn’t like it was very different to stay inside for that…” Jamie stared at the lady, then back at the adults. Parker didn’t look overly concerned, but then, she never really did. Eliot and Hardison were both frowning, though. There was no sign that this was some kind of elaborate prank Hardison was pulling on them with the help of one of Sophie’s acting friends. Besides, he was good, but not ‘fake opening a magic portal in the ceiling’ good. At least not within the five minutes Jamie had been in the other room.

After a litany of horrible things, which were apparently not even all of them, the woman stopped. “On the upside,” she said. “I perfected my banana bread recipe, Deeks met some alpacas, Leverage is getting a reboot, and I figured out why I probably keep dropping in here.”

“To remind us that things aren’t so bad like some messed up version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’?” Hardison guessed.

“Because Jamie is my OC,” she said, dropping a fucking bombshell like she just dropped out of the fucking ceiling. Jamie felt their brain fill with static, because no, they were a real person, and that either meant that this lady was full of bullshit, or, well, basically god. The Truman Show feeling returned ten times over. “This is my fanfic.”

Hardison recoiled a little. “No,” he whispered, fully understanding the implications of that. Hell, it was probably even weirder for him. Sure, knowing they were a TV show was probably cool, even more so with the reboot. But Fanfic Land didn’t fade to black and Jamie was pretty damn sure some kinky shit went on behind the soundproofed doors of their bedroom.

“Now, there’s two prevailing theories about this, as far as my internet rabbithole searches can tell,” Basically God Maybe continued. “Either I wrote this world into existence, because the multiverse is ever expanding and that is one of the ways it expands, or I just got some vibes from whatever crack between worlds keeps bringing me here and wrote down your shenanigans.”

At Parker and Eliot’s blank looks, Jamie clarified: “Basically, she’s either God or…”

“Some kind of shitty false prophet,” the lady on the beanbag chair beamed. “Probably the second one, honestly. My subconscious turns everything into a zombie apocalypse sooner or later, and you guys seem to be fine.”

Jamie whipped around to look at Hardison and Eliot, hopeful. “We’re fine, right?” they asked quickly. If anyone knew about a starting zombie apocalypse, it would be those two. Between Hardison poking around in basically every intelligence agency’s server ever and Eliot’s contacts, they’d know. God, Jamie hoped not. They were so not ready for a zombie apocalypse. Eliot hadn’t even taught them how to murder someone with an axe yet.

“We are definitely fine,” Hardison assured them.

“Yeah, I figured,” Not-God agreed. “If I had my say, Eliot would have stopped pining long before he did and kissed you guys.” Eliot grumbled and glared, probably because she was right. Parker patted him condescendingly on the head, which wasn’t helping matters.

The ceiling started crackling and glowing ominously. The lady put her can down as she slowly drifted off the beanbag, alien-abduction style. “Well, it’s been real. Be good, guys. Have some fun adventures. Ruin some rich douchebag’s day for me.”

“Will do,” Parker promised. “Say hi to your dog for me.” She got a thumbs up.

“Let us know how the reboot turns out,” Hardison said. Jamie figured it would probably fuck with the space-time continuum if she downloaded the show and brought it to them, but who knew. Maybe there was some kind of loophole for that, too. They were kind of curious to see what a Leverage show would look like. It probably had kickass fight-scenes.

“Stay safe,” Eliot said seriously. He’d been the most concerned about the talk of the pandemic, probably because you couldn’t punch it.

“Will do,” Inny shrugged. “I mean, 2021 can’t possibly be any worse, right?”

The portal crackled louder, which Jamie hoped wasn’t a sign. The lady was almost at the ceiling. She looked concerned, like she realised she just totally jinxed herself and the new year.

“Hey, just in case you are god,” Jamie called up. “Can you give me superpowers?”

The portal closed to the sound of laughter, and then there was silence. All that remained was a dent in the beanbag and an empty can of Mountain Dew.

“What the fuck,” they told the room at large.

“Yeah, you get used to it,” Parker said, before wandering off back to the blueprints she had been studying.

“I’m just gonna… check some things,” Hardison muttered, making a detour to the kitchen to grab a ginormous bottle of orange soda before getting behind his computer. “And buy a bunch of disinfectant and toilet paper, just in case.”

Eliot rolled his eyes, before bumping his shoulder against Jamie’s. “Come on,” he said.

“Come on where?” Jamie asked. “I’m having a bit of an existential crisis here.” If they were someone’s OC, did that mean that they didn’t have free will? Did it mean that all the cool things they had done the past year had only been because of some weird lady that fell out of the ceiling? Or did it mean-

“I’m gonna teach you to throw a knife so you can take out a zombie,” Eliot said.

Fuck that, the existential crisis could wait until 2am. They had more important things to do. Knife throwing would be fun and useful no matter if there was a zombie apocalypse or a pandemic, or they got superpowers.

i’m stealing the idea of a topical mcu/616 differences list from @suprnovas because while i know i’ve done them before, they’re scattered and scattered brain and picking through it by topic is a good idea.  and this is more, obviously, for people who may not realize that 616 tony stark is an entirely different character from mcu tony, in terms of personality and the way his life has played out, and that’s important to me to point that out.

arc reactor / rt node - mcu tony had an arc reactor, a miniaturized nuclear battery, in his chest after afghanistan to keep the shrapnel out of his heart.  no such creature exists in 616 - instead, tony wore the chestplate of the original iron man armors (which were much different than the first iterations of the mcu armors) under his clothes and it required charging every so often to function as a fancy pacemaker.  there was a big to-do about tony getting the shrapnel out, using an experimental tissue transplant surgery ages and ages before anything glowy ever sat in his chest.  later he had the rt node, which while visually similar to the arc reactor served an entirely different purpose.  the rt node was also a nuclear battery/electromagnet combo, and served to power the iron man at the time (the bleeding edge), but it also served as tony’s brain in a lot of ways.  tony had both wiped his own mind and been beaten so badly by norman osborn he had severe brain damage.  the rt was the fine line between tony in a persistent vegetative state and tony upright and walking and talking.  while not a part of his physiology any longer, he had it for several years, considering until his complete body reboot it was the only thing working as the automatic functions of brain and removing it would literally kill him.

alcoholism - tony’s alcoholism is background in the mcu, and quietly just whisked away (and while a lot of that has to do with disney...).  however, in 616, tony’s alcoholism isn’t a once-mentioned deal and everyone goes on their merry way.  tony didn’t just “handle” it, he took that plunge from grace and hit rock bottom face first.  he spent some time broke.  homeless.  missing.  it’s a prominent feature of his character, once he gets himself in aa and sober, and it’s tested multiple times.  his sobriety is used as a bargaining chip.  people try and have exploited it for their own gain (notably obadiah stane and justine hammer, the original justin hammer’s daughter).  aa plays a big part in tony’s story, he does meetings, the steps, sponsors other people (notably carol danvers).  it’s not a quiet, hidden thing, it’s very public and very honest, and something tony is very frank about being a daily struggle.

obadiah stane - mcu obadiah was a father-figure to tony.  in 616, this isn’t even remotely close to the case, and instead he was absolutely villainous from the start, in the sense that he tried (and succeeded) to legally both maneuver tony’s company right out from under him and lay claim to everything tony had ever called his own.  he manipulated tony’s need for love and problems with alcohol to secure that.  he kidnapped literally everyone he could get his hands on that meant something to tony, from pepper to the baby of a friend he helped deliver.  and after he took himself off the playing field he still had a minefield laid for tony, in the form of tony’s entire fortune (sure tony inherited the company from howard, but every penny stane took tony earned himself) behind a wall of failsafes to keep tony out if certain conditions weren’t met.  tony ultimately succeeded, but it wasn’t a one and done deal, it was a massive climb up a mountain from the very bottom.  later, obadiah’s son, zeke stane, also came after tony.

pepper potts - you know how the mcu story goes, tony gets the girl, they get married, have a kid.  yeah, 616 didn’t happen that way.  616  didn’t happen that way so much that tony and pepper have literally never been in a relationship.  they pined after each other for years, sure, and pepper is literally one of the people tony cares about most in the world and always will, but they’re not in love.  pepper ended up marrying happy and while they had their issues ultimately they were still together at the time of happy’s death.  tony and pepper have slept together ultimately a grand total of one time, and that’s been that.  tony acknowledges that his role in pepper’s life is more overly protective best friend, not partner material.  pepper is super, super important to tony, but she’s not and probably never will be his endgame.  they aren’t like that.

extremis - in mcu, extremis is a mess.  a literal, whole-ass mess.  with a fake mandarin in the deal.  so here’s how it works in 616:  tony was the one (1) extremis enhancile that didn’t completely lose his marbles, and even then it can’t be said it didn’t cause some issues, as anyone who’s ever read the civil war storyline and his duration as director of shield will know.  tony’s version of extremis rewired his body from the inside out, literally.  he had a level of technopathy, a healing factor, he could literally tap into anything electronic he wanted to, connect to satellites, whatever.  it also made him cold, distant, and more than a little less human, with less control over his already prodigious temper.  it wasn’t a fun time.  it essentially turned his brain into a computer’s harddrive, and he used it exactly that way, to the point he was backing himself up in the chance it was ever needed (spoiler: he did).  pepper didn’t get extremis.  in 616 you literally have to have a special genetic marker, or it will kill you.  gruesomely.  and, put another, easy to parse way:  extremis basically made tony a technopathic steve rogers, a super soldier.

secret identity - the mcu has tony blowing off the idea of iron man as a bodyguard as ridiculous.  616 tony posed as his own bodyguard for years.  he kept that secret so close to his vest only a handful of people knew for years and most of the avengers weren’t on that list.  actually, the one who did know was thor, not anyone else you might think.  or...that knew because tony told them so.  lots of people caught a glimpse of it, or suspected.  he’s revealed and then covered up his identity numerous times, finally coming out officially and staying out as iron man during the fight over superhero registration.  while the whole world knows now that tony stark and iron man are one in the same, for the majority of tony’s time as the armored avenger, that simply wasn’t the case.

chitauri - chitauri were an mcu/ultimates thing strictly up until secret empire (which we don’t talk about in this house), when they were introduced into 616.  that battle of new york?  in the mcu?  yeah that’s kinda...normal, for 616.  it happens often enough that the world ending or aliens trying to invade or...look, 616 is entirely more perilous of a universe.  the battle of new york is actually a conglomeration of several elements from several different 616 and ultimates battles, including the nukes.  tony doesn’t have a fear in space because of things like that, he’s actually spent lots and lots of time in space, and notably with the guardians of the galaxy (of which he was one for a hot minute).

the avengers - mcu follows the ultimates storyline for the avengers, in that they’re formed by shield.  in 616, that’s not so much the case.  the avengers formed on their own, with an entirely different line up for the team, coming together as a group to fight loki and deciding that, overall, there’s something to be said about working together.  originally it was janet van dye and hank pym (who are tony’s generation - hope van dyne does not exist in 616, instead we have nadia van dyne, who is hank’s daughter that jan has claimed as her own), thor, bruce banner, and tony.  steve is not an actual founding member, he was grandfathered in and has all the perks because it’s captain america and you just don’t leave captain america in the cold.  shield had diddly fuck all to do with them, and has worked with them in the past, sure, but it’s always been a very uneasy alliance.  to the point that shield has tried to take over tony’s company at points.  the avengers are a free-wheeling operation, funded largely through donations, the maria stark foundation, and tony’s own personal fortune.  they’re peace-keepers, classified as a non-profit, and operate by their own by-laws and regulations, which if you’re really interested, you can find here.  the only thing i’ve personally added to that is section five, and even that has some basis in canon itself.

ultron - ultron was created by hank pym (giant man, ant-man, wasp, yellowjacket, goliath), not tony.  for very different reasons.  and he’s been a thorn in the side of the world since his inception, having caused the destruction of the world more than once that’s had to be fixed.  the living creature that is time in the 616 universe is so punched full of holes from having to do shit like this it looks like swiss cheese, let’s be honest here.  vision did ultimately come from ultron, yes, but his personality is based off of that of simon williams, a superhero in 616 known as wonder man.

avengers mansion / tower / compound - the avengers used to operate out of tony’s childhood home, which he opened up to that cause, 890 fifth avenue.  when that was destroyed, they moved to stark tower.  that’s been destroyed about a hundred times at this point.  currently the main team is operating out of the body of a dead celestial in the north pole.  616 tony stark would never lower himself to buying property in upstate new york unless it’s a cabin in the adirondacks, he’d buy (and has bought) property in new jersey first, and the avengers compound, such as it is, does not exist.

civil war - there is no such thing as the sokovia accords in 616.  instead, 616 had what’s called the superhuman registration act (shra for short) which required all superhumans to register their identities with the us government.  it was strictly us-based, for the record, and happened after nitro, a villain in 616 who can basically blow himself up like a bomb at will, did so in the town of stamford after being caught out by a group of superheroes known as the new warrirors for a reality tv show.  it was the final nail in the coffin for a lot of people about superheroes (which are a part of daily life in 616) and people were scared and wanted something done.  tony was pro-registration.  steve was anti-registration, and was especially hostile after maria hill opened fire on him.  they scrapped, and scrapped hard, in multiple public battles, until steve turned himself in when he realized not only was he literally about to murder a basically defenseless tony in the middle of a street (and what do you do when your best friend’s under you and tells you to “finish it” through his broken faceplate?) and that they, both sides, were just fighting to fight, instead of fighting for something.  on the way to his arraignment, steve is assassinated.  tony literally falls apart and loses his shit utterly and completely.  there’s a lot of awful things that happen that can’t be contained to a blurb.  and it all leads to the point where tony erases his brain and norman osborn lays siege to asgard, which is near the town of broxton, oklahoma.  it’s a mess, both more contained, and bigger, because the stakes are bigger and the number of players are bigger, and there’s a skrull invasion taking place behind the whole damn thing.  there are also approximately a million conspiracy theories, some people wondered if tony had something to do with steve’s death (he didn’t, it was red skull), and it’s since shaped the entirety of what it’s like to be a superhero in the world of 616 since, even if shra has been repealed.

captain america - is this really a tony blog without a special mention for steve rogers?  the mcu, once again, defers to the ultimates storyline (which is not 616) for steve, with shield handling the thawing and reintroducing steve into the world.  in 616, the avengers find him looking for the hulk and realize he’s still alive, and end up offering him a place with them, which obviously he ends up agreeing to.  there’s a lot of differences even with steve himself which i’m not going to get entirely into but he and bucky didn’t grow up together, bucky had fuck all to do with civil war for the most part, and tony and steve are literally attached at the hip.  tony literally has a captain america collection.  the cap collection is a thing, everyone knows about it, it’s not a secret, because captain america was tony’s hero before tony ever became a superhero.  there’s none of this tension right off the bat, steve ends up friends with tony and iron man before he knows they’re the same person.  they fight so hard because they love each other so hard.  they’re close, fullstop.  tony and steve have been leading teams together since almost the very beginning, and that’s that.  also steve and tony are literally almost the same age when steve is thawed from the ice; tony becomes iron man much earlier in 616.

bucky barnes - and while we’re at it:  bucky is a super soldier in the mcu, and there’s that whole mess with civil war and tony trying to kill him.  in 616 it’s the opposite:  bucky tries to kill tony.  tony talks him down and shows him the letter that was given to him from steve after steve’s death and offers bucky the shield.  bucky agrees.  bucky has intimate knowledge of the iron man’s inner workings and how to shut it (and effectively tony) off.  completely.  tony doesn’t remember any of this.   bucky is not a super soldier in 616, he’s literally just a dude with a metal arm and a plucky attitude who has a very unique skillset and was frozen for long periods of time.  he and tony have also been on a team together with bucky as captain america, and they’re friends outside of that.  tony does the arm maintenance that bucky can’t do, knows where bucky lives, knows bucky’s cat.  there’s none of this resentment there, they’re comfortable with each other.

physicality - this is a big one.  it’s what makes him and mcu tony at a glance glaringly different, because he’s so much taller and differently framed.  he’s huge and imposing in the suit, standing level with thor and at least half a head taller than steve.  outside of it he’s still unfairly tall, but built lanky.  he doesn’t build muscle mass the way other superheroes do, and tends to shed weight with a vengeance when he’s overly stressed.  and while disney princess eyes are a thing they both share, tony’s got that bonus striking combination of blue eyes and dark hair.  he’s also about a decade  younger than mcu tony, and looks a bit younger than that bc of everything he’s done to his body to enhance it (which is mostly all moot at this point, for the record).

personality - this is really the main thing with this.  the tony you see in the mcu is not 616 tony.  at all.  616 tony is actually a fairly serious character; he’s only occasionally flighty about his company, and when he is there’s usually some iron man/avengers motivation behind it.  he works.  he works hard.  and he’s known as a good man to work for, has good company morale, and takes a very micromanaging interest in everything his company does.  he also occasionally hides out in his workshop for weeks on end and has to be dragged out to see sunlight again.  he makes his jokes, he has some levity, but he’s more prone to rambling complete with flailing arms and technobabble with some philosophical footnotes than he is making nothing but solid pop culture references.  he has interests outside of the iron man, outside of engineering, and whole those are his passion, he’s a student of history and philosophy and art, and when he has time he plops down in front of dog cops just like the rest of the 616 universe.  he has unique vocal tics that are separate and distinct from mcu tony, that, while they both self edit, 616 tony is more obvious with it, stutters over words, gets stuck.  and then has a hard time unsticking himself.  he’s more sensitive; he’s less likely to give you an insulting nickname and reach instead for terms of endearment, and literally no one is safe.  he calls steve rogers beloved, for crying out loud, and steve doesn’t bat an eyelash at it.  he’s soft, and easily bruised, but he’s also steel spined and hot tempered.  when he’s angry, you’ll know it.  he’s also very kind, and very generous, and hates himself utterly and completely.  anyone who spends any amount of time around him realizes very quickly that the plastic i’m king of the world act is a facade.  tony will work himself down to the bone to make up for sins, real and imagined.  he overreaches in making decisions for other people.  and all around is probably a less appealing character in some ways - his flaws are very obvious and very human - but is in a lot of ways entirely more layered because there’s so much at work between his different masks and what’s underneath them all.  he’s the first to offer himself up as a sacrifice if it’s needed, and reaches for the worst case scenario first.  he’ll push people away because he thinks that will somehow save them, from himself and those he’s crossed.  he’s complicated, and his complications are not always easy or appealing or fixable.  there’s a truly ugly side to it that doesn’t get glossed over, and he’s willing to go so much darker if he considers it the right thing to do.

overall, there’s only some surface stuff between 616 and the mcu.  there’s a guy named tony stark who does duty as a superhero named iron man, but how they both got to the present day is completely different, and their lives and experiences are also completely different.  diving into 616 will be like...well.  culture shock.  and i’m gonna say it (even if i know the intake of breath on the 616 side is gonna be dramatic):  for people wanting to find a characterization more closely related to the mcu?  let me point you toward the ultimates runs. it’s kinda gross, but i have a soft spot for it and also it’s more narrowly related, you’ll see things that feel entirely more familiar, before jumping off into the crazy ass world that is 616, where things like steve rogers becoming a werewolf is just...tuesday.  the mcu takes elements from both, sure, but you’re gonna see a hell of a lot more ultimates influence, and that’s a fact.

Shattered Glass Animated Season 1 Episode 2 - Transform and Rise Up!, Part 2

Fifty Years after their crash-landing, the Decepticons awaken to find themselves in the middle of a dispute between Detroit’s despotic overlord Isaac Sumdac and a group of brave heroes, fighting against his tyranny.

The sky darkened over the are of Downtown Detroit, as a Sumdac aircraft slowly pushed itself across it, obfuscating the sun for a moment. The citizens halted in what they were doing, each on looking up at the vehicle with the trademark ‘S’ on both sides with wary eyes. Parents pulled their children close to them, most people, already sensing that whatever was going to happen was most likely either dangerous and/or something they wanted no part in, retreated to their homes, doors slamming shut after them. Police-drones drove underneath the aircraft, roughly shoving aside anyone who dared get in their way. It seemed their destination was the central square. However, about half the way to it, the strange, ominous parade came to a quick and premature end. The aircraft stopped abruptly, a loud creaking coming from within it. The drones, confused about this sudden change of plans stopped and raised their scanners towards it, unsure what to do. They would not have to wonder for long. A long, brown tentacle shot out of the aircraft’s side, grabbing one of the drones and lifting it up in the air, ignoring the gun fire it unleashed upon it. More tentacle began to sprout from the ship, tearing more and more holes in it’s hull until finally the whole thing inflated like a particularly  grotesque balloon and exploded into tiny pieces of shrapnel. Having lost it’s means of transportation, a gigantic creature fell from the sky, flattening half the remaining drones in a crater that spanned the entire street. Seemingly unperturbed by it’s fall, the creature raised it’s giant insect-like head, feelers twitching and pulled the drone it was still holding into the giant, white goo forming it’s body. It’s other tentacles shot out all around it, wrapping themselves around street lanterns, cars and any drones unfortunate enough to get in their way, pulling all of it in to be submerged in the creatures’ steadily growing body. Letting out a blood-curdling screech, the creature dragged itself forward, crushing everything in it’s wake. The people screamed in panic, trying to get away from the thing while simultaneously dodging all kinds of rubble while they did so. A young man, tripped and fell as he tried to follow the panicked crowd. Breathing heavily, he turned on his back and his eyes widened as he saw the creature steadily moving in his direction. It had almost reached him, when a small, slim projectile flew through the air at high speed, colliding with the creatures’ head and exploding, sending it reeling backwards. The young man blinked in confusion, but before he could gather himself enough to ask himself what had just happened, something, or rather, someone hit the ground with their feet beside him and he felt a strong arm gripping him around the waste. The next moment he and the mysterious stranger both were lifted into the air about two streets away from the still confused creature. “Fear not, citizen,” he heard a voice say, as his savior carefully placed him on the ground. “This most vile fiend shall be disposed off in no time! Evacuate and leave this matter to the Amiable Archer and his valiant  companions!” The young man looked up, still confused, just in time to see a man wearing a Robin Hood-esque blue outfit pull out an arrow attached to a rope from his quiver with a hand that looked robotic and shooting it at a nearby building, pulling himself away, waving as he did so. The man who called himself Amiable Archer, known to his friends as Aaron A. Archer, dropped and rolled onto a rooftop and narrowed his eyes to access the situation. The creature had recovered from his attack by now and, sadly, it didn’t seem to have taken any damage, making it’s way down the street in the same slow but destructive pace as before. “I see thou arens’t impressed by mine skill in the noble art of archery,” he shouted, already stringing up another arrow. “A pity thine tastes shalt never have the chance to evolve!” He cocked another arrow, aiming it at the creature. The projectile activated with a click, it’s tip transforming into a small rocket. As if it had heard the small noise, the creature’s head snapped into Archer’s direction and a tentacle shot out, aiming straight for his position. Archer yelped, quickly aiming the arrow at the incoming limb and shot. Arrow and tentacle met in mid-air in a small but destructive explosion. Bits of flesh rained down on the roof. Archer barely dodged out of the way, face scrunched up in disgust. This small distraction proved fatal. A second tentacle shot through the smoke, wrapping itself around Archer and pulling him forwards. Archer’s eyes widened, as he saw himself approaching the creature’s gaping maw and he struggled wildly, but the appendage remained wound tight around his body. “Gah! Let go, foul fiend!” “You’ve heard the man,” a booming voice shouted from behind him. “Hands off!” A giant of a man in a white body suit fell out of the sky, smashing one of his great fists right into the creature’s jaw. It screeched in pain, dropping it’s prey and retreating in on itself. Archer found himself free falling for a second, before the giant man jumped up from under him again and caught him bridal style. “Many thanks, Cyrus,” he said, jumping out of the man-mountain’s arms and onto the street. “I told ya’ not to run ahead,” Cyrus frowned, crossing his arms. “What am I supposed to tell Penny when you get slammed while I’m not there?” Before Archer could answer, a high-pitched scream filled the air again and the two of them quickly jumped out of the way as the creature slammed one of it’s appendages into the ground where they had just stood a second ago. “Someone’s cranky,” Cyrus snarked through gritted teeth, cracking his knuckles.

“Perhaps it misseth it’s slumber time,” Archer laughed. Grinning, he cocked up another bundle of arrows. “I shall solve that conundrum! Cyrus, if you wouldeth be so kind?” Cyrus nodded. He stepped behind Archer, putting his arms around the smaller man’s waist and pushed himself off the ground with all his strength. They soared through the air, slowly coming to a stop before the creatures’ mouth. “Almost,” Archer muttered, drawing back his bowstring. The creature opened it’s chops to roar, only to have a barrage of grenade arrows fired right into it. Cyrus and Archer hit the ground, quickly scurrying to a safe distance and looking expectantly at the monster. For a few seconds nothing happened. The creature was standing still, shaking it’s head as if confused. Then a fiery explosion erupted from it’s stomach, tearing it open and blowing the creature’s body into pieces. Cyrus quickly jumped in front of his friend, as both of them were pummeled by flying, slimy body parts. “Darn it, it’ll take forever to wash this off,” he grumbled. He eyed  what appeared to be a piece of the creature’s belly that had landed on his upper arm with disgust before quickly shaking it off. “Ah, but surely a bit of housework is but a small price to pay for the people’s safety,” Archer grinned, somehow managing to look incredibly pleased with himself even as slime was slowly dripping from the rim of his hat. As if on cue, a cluster of civilians, having heard the commotion, slowly approached the street. Upon seeing that the creature was not only gone, but seemingly defeated, they broke out into cheers, some even applauding the two men still standing among the creature’s remains. Archer turned and bowed elegantly with a wide smile, while Cyrus merely scratched his bald head and looked the other way, obviously uncomfortable with the amount of attention he was getting. Coincidentally his eyes landed on a piece of the creature - and stopped. The dead tissue - or what he had believed to be dead tissue a second ago - was moving. And fast. And it wasn’t the only one. Bits and pieces of the creature’s body slowly started to crawl and drag themselves to the center of the street, where they assembled and grew bigger ad bigger, taking on their old form again. The people began to panic, screaming and pushing backwards to get away. Both Archer and Cyrus stared at the revived monster with horror in their eyes. “Aw, nuts,” Cyrus said quietly.

______________________________________________________________

Much further away, a piece of the creature was making it’s way through the forest, eager to reunite with it’s equals. However,as it was doing so, it detected a strange energy to it’s left, strong and machine-like in nature, yet somehow different. The small blob, unable to resist the temptation of a meal so exotic, began crawling towards the source. It’s persistence was rewarded when it came across a great, metal shell embedded in the earth in a remote part of the forest. Though the moss growing on it indicated it had been here for some time now, it hadn’t rusted even a bit, nor was it showing any other signs of decay. The blob of course couldn’t care less about such things. Excited it hopped onto the shell and pressed itself inside through a small slit. The inside of the ship was dark and cold. But the moment the blob fell from the split and onto it’s floor it sprang to life, alarms starting to blare, while a metallic voice proclaimed: “Warning! Escape pod contaminated!” The lights flickered on and the temperature rose. The blob, undeterred by this rapid change in atmosphere, slid over to a chair in front of a control panel, sliding up it’s side and onto a giant, slack, metallic forearm. Megatron rebooted to the pervasive sounds of sirens around him and warning lights bathing his surroundings in red. He groaned, putting a servo to his helm. Feeling something moving on his other arm, he looked down to see a strange, brown, moving substance slowly stretching itself over it. He yelped, throwing the thing off him and against the pod’s wall. The thing flattened and miserably slid down to the ground, dragging itself back towards the slid it had come through. Megatron watched it escape, optics wide. Something told him that he’d gotten the thing of just in time, though he couldn’t really say why. “How long have I been in stasis?” he muttered to himself. He shook his helm and turned back towards the control panel, turning off the alarm system and hectically jammed the frequency for the other escape pods into the keyboard, only to be met with static. Fearing the worst, he activated his own comlink, but the outcome was the same. Megatron got up from his chair and headed for the door. It didn’t budge when he pressed the button right next to it. Giving an annoyed grunt, he jammed his sword in-between and, with some difficulty, used the leverage to open it. He emerged into a sunlit clearing, surrounded by strange brown and green structures he couldn’t recognize. Thinking of the strange being that had tried to attach itself to him in the pod, Megatron carefully exited the vessel, taking in his surroundings. It seemed his pod had landed separately from the others. That was not ideal, to put it mildly. Worry and despair began to manifest in his processor. He was stranded on a planet he did not know, his pod was clearly damaged and there was no indication the others were even still online. No, he couldn’t think like that. They had not escaped the clutches of the Autobot-empire only to go offline here! He would find them and then they’d figure out their next steps. Megatron sheathed his sword and scanned the surroundings for Decepticon energy signatures. Stasis meant their signatures would be dimmed down significantly, but if they were in his general vicinity, he would be able to detect at least a small trace of it and follow it to it’s owners. Luck was on his side. The scan showed a faint Decepticon energy signature east to his position. He briefly pondered transforming into vehicle mode, but decided against it. Best not to draw attention to himself by flying just yet. His sparking, damaged servo was acting up as well. Additionally, making his way on foot would give him another chance to take in this planet’s surface. The strange structures around him seemed to take up a large part of it. Upon closer inspection, he recognized them as organic and, in some cases inhabited by smaller organics. Megatron left them be. Though he found the seemingly purely non-technological nature of this planet fascinating, his fellow Decepticons were his priority right now. After a few steps, the energy signature grew stronger and better traceable. It continued this growth, until Megatron found himself at a clearing similar to his. He didn’t detect the pod at first. A rough landing had buried it deep into the ground and the passage of time had caused it to be overgrown with a green, organic structure, slightly moist to the touch. Eventually, he managed to bury his way through to the door and pull it open through the same method he had opened his own. A soft, bright-blue light greeted him, together with the same intruder alert that had awakened him. Megatron could feel his core beat faster. If the Allspark was in this pod, that meant-! Not wasting another second, Megatron rushed into the pod and over to the chair before the console. He slowly raised a servo to grasp the chair’s backrest and turn it around to face him. Stasis had made Starscream slump a bit in his chair, but he looked unhurt otherwise, as a quick scan revealed. Megatron couldn’t help the relieved smile that spread over his face plate. His second-in-command groaned and shifted slightly, his optics slowly reactivating themselves as he lifted his helm. “Megatron...?” he muttered. “Where are we?” “I do not know yet,” Megatron answered, laying a gentle servo on Starscream’s shoulder. “But we should regroup with the others as fast as possible. I know you have just rebooted yourself, but do you remember where their pods landed?” Starscream shook his helm. “No, I’m sorry. It happened so fast, I was already in stasis when my pod landed.” Remembering something important, he jerked up. “The Allspark! I believe it was safe when I shut down, but.... I am sorry, I should have told you right away-” “Starscream,” Megatron said firmly, catching the other bot’s optics with his own. “I have already seen it. It is unscathed. You did well protecting it. And even if it had been, your well-being is far more important to me than any energy source.” Starscream chuckled nervously. “You had best not let Lugnut hear that.” “No, indeed not. Speaking of which, let us get to finding the others, shall we?” Starscream started to nod, but then hesitated. “What about the Allspark?” Megatron thought for a second. “We will leave it here. I have not picked up any Autobot energy signatures in this area and this planet seems to be organic in nature, so I doubt any of the locals would try to take it. They would have no use for it. Carrying it with us would only slow us down.” He stepped back and extended a servo to Starscream. “They might take it because it’s shiny,” Starscream joked, taking it and letting himself be pulled up. Megatron chuckled and together they exited the pod, closing the door on their way out.  Starscream seemed equally intrigued by the planet’s surface as Megatron had been. During their search, he constantly stopped to take in this organic life form or that, though he usually snapped out of it only a nano-click later with an embarrassed look on his face plate. The stars were in their favor: It took them merely a few cycles to locate the remaining escape pods. Blitzwing and Lugnut had crashed in approximately the same area, though their pods were hard to find, as they had also been overtaken by the surrounding fauna. Blackarachnia was further away and she had exited her pod already by the time they found her. And she wasn’t alone. Leaning on her crashed vessel, optics curious, she observed a small, blob-like creature winding itself around her wrist in a circular pattern, as if it was unsure what to do. She looked up when she heard them approaching. “About time,” she called, pushing herself off the vessel and ambling towards them. “This little fellow crawled into my pod and woke me up. I figured I’d wait for you here, before running off aimlessly.” Her optics wandered back to the creature. “It’s fascinating. From what I can tell, this thing’s got circuitry, but there’s also something else. Kind of like my organic half, but...different, somehow.” Megatron felt his fuel tanks twist a the sight of the creature. He would have been more than glad not to see it again, though he still couldn’t say why. Clearing his vent, he stepped forwards, pointedly avoiding looking at the moving, slimy thing on Blackarachnia’s wrist. “Now that we are complete, we should explore our surroundings. Perhaps find a way to blend in with the locals, so we will not attract unwanted attention. Does the console in your pod still work?” Blackarachnia nodded. “Sure does.” She turned to enter the pod, the others following close behind her. “Do you have to keep that thing on you?” Lugnut asked, narrowing his optic at the still twitching blob. Blackarachnia shrugged. “It might prove useful.” “I find that hard to believe,” Lugnut huffed. Blackarachnia glared at him, opening her intake for a no doubt scathing response. Blitzwing quickly stepped forward, clasping her shoulder and leading her firmly, but gently along to the console. “He did not mean that, Lugnut is merely nervous like all of us. We will no doubt all feel better once we have a better grip on the situation, yes?” he said, smiling nervously. “Alright, calm down Three-face. I’m not gonna start anything,” Blackarachnia answered, plopping down on the chair and starting to type commands into her console. “I’m detecting a primitive surveillance system about a few hics away from here. I’ll try to hack it and see what we’re dealing with.” A monitor flared to life on the pod’s front, showing a bird’s eye view of a couple of big, grey structures in roughly the same style. It turned to show a wide square, surrounded by a wire fence. Dozens of warplanes, bombers, fighter jets and other tactical aircraft, along with a few tanks were arranged in rows, all carrying a slightly sinister looking ‘S’ on their wings or sides. “Well, the locals here sure seem to know a thing or two about weaponry,” Starscream noted, impressed optics trained on a particularly sleek fighter jet. “Let us hope they are willing to share,” Megatron said. “We will scan those vehicles and use their appearance to blend in.” “I’ll stay here then,” Blackrarachnia chimed in, leaning back in her chair and raising her wrist to observe the blob once again. “My alt-mode isn’t really interchangeable anyway. And I’d like to analyze this thing some more. The first-aid tools in my pod should suffice for that.” She skeptically eyed Megatron’s damaged arm. “Want me to take a look at that too while I’m a it?” Megatron shook his helm, trying to ignore Starscream’s worried look. “Familiarizing ourselves with our surroundings is more important at the moment. I will come to you for repairs when we return. Decepticons, transform and rise up!” Starscream, Blitzwing and Lugnut transformed into their vehicle modes behind him and the four of them took flight, heading towards the coordinated Blackarachnia had given them. After a few nanokliks of flight, a city came into view, the structure’s coordinates leading them right to it’s outskirts. The Decepticons touched down amidst a row of jets, changing back into their robot modes. “Split up and choose a form,” Megatron ordered, already walking towards a combat helicopter and taking it in with his scanner. His armor lit up and shifted until it fully accommodated for his new alt mode. He flinched a little as the shift began to affect his damaged arm. Starscream and Lugnut performed the same action on a fighter jet and a bomber plane respectively. “Not bad,” Starscream said, eyeing his new, slender wings appreciatively. “It will suffice,” Lugnut muttered, though he, too, was eagerly taking in his new form. Starscream ignored him, turning around and scanning the area for Blitzwing. Finding him standing between a tank and another model of fighter jet, seemingly at a loss for what to do, he walked over to him. “Everything alright Bltzwing?” Starscream asked. Blitzwing flinched and turned, giving Starscream an embarrassed smile. “I seem to have a bit of a, erm, problem.” Starscream raised an optic ridge. “A problem? What kind of problem?” Blitzwing opened his intake to answer, but then stiffened. His face plate shifted around, Hothead coming into view. “The fool wants to scan a fighter jet, but I’ve told him the assault tank is clearly superior! He will not listen to me!” In an instant, it switched back to Blitzwing with a whirring sound, who looked more than a bit harried. “But I am not good at fighting on the ground! A flying alt mode comes more natural to me and I-” Whirr. “You are not good at fighting at all! That’s why you have me to do it for you! Choose the tank!” Whirr. “Please, be reasonable! This alt mode will only hold the others back when we’re in battle.” Whirr. “It will leave them behind in the dust!” Whirr. “Do you see what I have to deal with?” Starscream had followed this argument with a small amount of amusement, but seeing Blitzwing’s genuinely distraught look broke his spark. “Why not choose both? You’re a triple-changer Blitzwing, this shouldn’t be a problem for you.” “It isn’t, but...” Blitzwing ex-vented, lowering his optics sadly. “I am not...fond of using that ability of mine. It... it makes it harder to stay in control.” Starscream put a comforting servo on his shoulder, giving him a soft smile. “I understand. But you can’t run away from this forever, Blitzwing. It’s part of who you are. Denying it won’t make it any easier to get control.” “I know. I suppose I should try to utilize it as best I can.” Blitzwing turned back to the two vehicles and, after a moment of hesitation, scanned both of them, looking utterly miserable while his form shifted. Starscream didn’t envy him. The ability to access two alt-modes was a powerful thing to have, but it came with it’s own price. Together they walked back to the center of the square, Megatron and Lugnut already waiting for them. Starscream noted with some concern that Megatron’s arm seemed to have taken further damage during the form change. Megatron noticed him looking and quickly turned so the damaged servo was hidden from his view, making Starscream frown a bit. “I see we all have acquired a camouflage,” Megatron said, pretending not to see his second-in-commands clear disapproval. “As our next step, we should-” A distant explosion cut him off and the Decepticons turned to see a massive column of black smoke rise from the horizon. Megatron raised a servo to his comlink. “Blackarachnia, it seems there is a conflict of some sort going on and it is close to our position. I would rather not interfere, but....” “Your chronic helper syndrome makes it impossible to ignore it, as always,” Blackarachnia finished and Megatron could swear he heard the grin in her voice. “I’ll take a look.” A feint typing sound came up and after a while she spoke again. “Seems like the locals got into a bit of trouble with...something. I don’t know what that’s supposed to be, but it’s bigger than they are. I think it’s bigger than us even.” “We should not bring ourselves into this,” Lugnut said. “We have more important things to do. The AllSpark must be brought back to New Kaon.” “B-But if we help them, they might assist us with repairing our pods,” Blitzwing answered back, optics nervous. “And besides isn’t it our duty to protect all life?” “I’m actually with Lugnut on this one,” Starscream cut in, catching Megatron’s surprised optics with his own. “You are in no condition to fight right now. There’s no telling what could happen if we take part in this battle. We don’t even know what it is we are dealing with.” Megatron turned around, in part to look at the smoke again, in part to gain more time to think. Perhaps he ought to listen to Lugnut and Starscream. The AllSpark needed to be brought to safety as quick as possible and his arm was throbbing more fiercely by the nano-klik. Still, the very idea of abandoning these life forms, whoever they might be, to a losing battle, however justified he might be in doing it, made his tanks turn. Ex-venting deeply, he turned back to his fellow Decepticons, optics steadfast. “I appreciate your concern, Starscream. And I agree that the AllSpark is what we should focus on first and foremost. However, Blitzwing is right. We took an oath to protect and keep safe all life within the galaxies. We cannot turn our backs to it when it needs us.” He saw doubt in Starscream’s optics and the seeker opened his intake again, to object, to criticize. But Megatron quickly cut him off. “Decepticons, transform and rise up!” ______________________________________________________________

Amicable Archer jumped, narrowly avoiding being crushed by a falling piece of rubble. He raised his head to scowl at the sight of the monster. Since it’s nigh defeat it had taken to grabbing several Sumdac-surveillance drones and either swallowing them in it’s maw or merely absorbing them into it’s body directly. It’s body continued to grow a an alarming rate as it dragged itself forward inch by inch, not caring or maybe even noticing who or what it crushed underneath it’s mass. A furious battle cry sounded through the air and Cyrus descended on the creature from the nearby ruins of what had once been an apartment house, giant fist raised. The creature slowly turned it’s head to him as if to react, only to receive a hard punch square across the right side of it’s head. It screeched, in either anger or agony or both and swatted the giant man aside with an irritated flick of it’s tentacle. Cyrus hit the pavement, leaving a small crater as he did so. Amicable Archer winced at the sight. He new his companions body suit was reinforced and his muscle mass dampened the hit, but that particular impact still looked like it has hurt quite a lot. As if to confirm his worries, a groan came out of the crater and Cyrus dragged himself out, holding his left arm as he limped over to Archer. “No chance,” he huffed, readjusting his arm with an audible ‘snap’. “Can’t even make a dent in it.” Archer clenched is teeth and turned his head to glare at the creature. “This bodeth unwell for us, friend. Mine arrows seemeth to be no match for it either.” “Think we should try and contact the Prof?” Cyrus asked, eyes focused on the creature as well. “He called us about this thing, maybe he knows something.” Archer hesitated. “I wisheth not to endanger him more than we already do...” Before he could continue that thought, the sound of jet engines and rotating helicopter blades filled the air. Several airborne vessels approached their position, dodging flying rubble as they did so. “Aw nuts, it’s Sumdac’s goons!” Cyrus cursed. “We gotta make a run for it!” “Halt! Look!” Archer grabbed his already retreating friend’s arm and pointed upwards at the vessels. “Doeseth their coloring not seem...peculiar to you?” Cyrus frowned and squinted up at the sky again. “Yeah...you’re right,” he said slowly. “That’s definitely Sumdac’s design but....they’re not standard color. And they don’t even have his logo!” He paused, scratching his bald head in confusion. “Come to think of it, didn’t Sumdac do away with his air force after he finished the robot forces?” _____________________________________________________________

“What is that thing?” Blitzwing asked, narrowly avoiding yet another tentacle shooting up into the air. “It...appears to be the same kind of being Blackarachnia kept,” Megatron answered. If he’d had his face-plate, it would have been scrunched up in disgust. Although he didn’t carry the same aversion to organic beings as some Cybertronians, something about this creature in particular was just so wrong. Maybe it was the way it writhed around, seemingly nothing but consumption to motivate it, maybe it was just the sheer repulsiveness of it’s ever dripping, growing mess of  a body. “Should we open fire, Megatron?” Starscream hovered to his right, canons already lowered and aimed. Megatron hesitated. “Not yet. I want to confirm there are no Autobots in the general vicinity first.” Behind him, Lugnut huffed. “They would be mad to get close to this abomination.” As if it had heard and taken offense to the last statement, the creature lashed out and wrapped one of it’s appendages around Lugnut, pulling him in. Lugnut grunted, turning around and pulling into the other direction with all his thrusters would give. The creature seemed only barely deterred, continuing to pull as if a bomber plane flying at full power was of no concern to it at all. What did eventually deter it, was Starscream flying through it’s tentacle and severing it in half. The creature screeched in pain, flailing it’s remaining limbs wildly and tearing down whatever it hit. One of it’s tentacles crashed into an already dangerously unstable building, knocking loose a sizable chunk and sending it plummeting  downwards - straight at two much smaller organics. The bigger off the two jumped to get out of the way, but the smaller one, when attempting the same tripped and fell, leaving it open to be crushed. Without hesitation, Blitzwing swooped in, transforming back into his robot-mode midway, shielding the tiny being from the rubble. The organic, having wrapped it’s appendages around itself during the ordeal, now slowly retreated two of it’s gangly limbs from it’s head and stared up at it’s savior, eyes wide and mouth gaping. “Are you alright, little organic?” Blitzwing inquired, smiling in what he hoped was an encouraging manner. The little one nodded shakily, but remained mute otherwise. “Well, so much for keeping a low profile,” Starscream muttered from above, though a particularly observant bystander might have noticed he was flying a lot lower and closer to the destroyed building as well, as though he had been in a hurry to get there, yet had abruptly stopped. “It cannot be helped, Starscream. What matters now is protecting those Organics,” Megatron said, flying closer to his second-in-command. Turning up his vocalizer, he boomed: “Decepticons! Transform!” All at once, the remaining Decepticons changed into their robot-forms, earning astonished and shocked gasps from the nearby huddling crowd. ______________________________________________________________ Cyrus, who had been ducking behind some rubble close to Blitzwing, unsure if he should attack the hulking robot-jet-thing that had just swooped in to save Archer looked at the flying giant robots with a mixture of awe and utter confusion. Were those things on Sumdac’s side or not? Androids seemed more like Detroit’s Overlord’s approach to threats, but Cyrus highly doubted Sumdac would ever program one of his precious machines to protect a civilian, much less a civilian that was clearly part of a resistance group that had been formed against him. And now that giant robot was gently lowering Archer to the ground, then immediately whirled around to shoot down a tentacle that had been gunning for their position, while taking care to put his body right between Archer and the monster. What the heck was going on??? ______________________________________________________________

“Decepticons! Attack!” Megatron roared, charging at the beast and drawing his sword. Starscream was right beside him, showering the creature with sonic-pulse blasts from above, while skillfully dodging it’s tentacles. Blitzwing took to the air as well, using ice blasts to try and immobilize and slow down the creature, freezing this and that part of it’s body and shattering any tentacle he happened to hit. “Die, creature!” Lugnut bellowed, transforming his arm into it’s explosive form and burying it in the creatures body. The explosion tore out a huge chunk of it’s belly, gunk and slime flying off to both sides, but merely a second after, the creature reformed, slowly enclosing Lugnut’s arm. The large Decepticon grunted and tried to pull back, but the creature’s pull was too strong. Megatron flew to his side, cutting a tentacle that had been attempting to wrap itself around Lugnut and grabbing on to the bigger ‘Cons arm. Their combined struggle seemed successful, as Lugnut’s arm slowly came out of the creature’s body. Megatron’s arm started to spark again, the pain making him flinch and loosen his grip. The creature screeched triumphantly as it consumed more of Lugnut’s arm. A heat beam cut through the air, severing Lugnut’s arm from his body and sending both him and Megatron stumbling back. “What are you doing, Blitzwing?” Lugnut shouted, narrowing his optic at the other Decepticon, and holding what remained of his freshly cut off limb. “Saving your aft, for all that’s worth,” Hothead snarled back, already firing at the creature again. Megatron frowned. “That was not necessary, Hothead. If you had helped, we could have saved Lugnut’s arm.” “Or lost the rest of- watch out!” The creature had used their argument to once again try and grab at them. Four tentacles at once zipped through the air, aiming straight for Megatron. Megatron’s optics widened and he tried to draw his sword, only for his arm to spark up once again and then go limp for good. Just before the creature could grab him, two servos shoved him aside and to safety. Megatron tumbled backwards, raising his helm to see what had happened. And froze. Starscream was struggling against the creature’s grip. Two of it’s tentacles were wrapped around his arms, while the other two held his legs and all four were pulling him in. Megatron flew forward, extending his still functioning arm, but it was too late. He could only watch in horror as the seeker was slowly consumed by the creatures mass. Rage and sorrow flooded his processor. For a moment, all he did was stare at the spot were Starscream had been just a nano-klik ago. He hard Blitzwing and Lugnut call his name, but for some reason they sounded far away. His body wouldn’t react. Part of him knew he had to move, that the creature would take him as well if he just stayed where he was. Lugnut appeared in his field of vision, shouting something. It was enough to pull him out of his stupor and reactivate the rational part of his processor. Barely dodging another attack, Megatron quickly put a hand to his helm and activated his comlink. “Blackarachnia! We need back-up at once!” “No, you don’t,” she snapped back. “What you need is to keep that thing busy!” Before he could open his intake again to tell her he hadn’t been asking, she spoke again:”No, don’t even start! I’m analyzing the nano-bots this thing’s made of right now. Their programming makes them see any foreign material as a threat. And if you glitch-heads  want me to find a way to get rid of that thing for good, you better do as I say! Trust me!” And with that, the comlink switched off on her end. Megatron clenched his denta and flew back to the fight, drawing his sword again. Automatically, his scanner activated to search for Starscream’s energy signature. His spark skipped a beat when he found something was responding from within the creature, feint but still there. “Blitzwing, Lugnut! Can you make out Starscream’s energy signature in this creature?” he called, already preparing himself for a negative answer. “Yes, but it’s very weak,” Blitzwing responded, apparently having managed to switch back. “Me as well.” Just then, Blackrachina’s voice sounded over the comlink: “Blackarachnia to Megatron. I found and hacked a primitive drone in the area. I’m using it to send you the frequency to shut down the nano-bots inside that thing! Good news is, as soon as the frequency’s applied, they’ll deactivate and the whole thing will collapse without any harm coming to Starscream. Bad news is, these little guys are so primitive, you’ll have to upload it manually.” A clicking sound drew Megatron’s attention towards the ground. A drone was driving towards the battle, using it’s sirens to make itself visible. Megatron touched down in front of it and kneeled, extending his good arm. The drone beeped and gave out a small disk through and opening in it’s head. “I’ve scanned that creature with the help of my cameras,” Blackrachnia continued. “And it looks like it compiled all it’s functions into a highly protective central processor around the head area, Which basically means one of you has to let himself get eaten. Good luck!” “I’ll do it!” Blitzwing called, coming up beside Megatron. “I’m the fastest out of all of us and my frame is the smallest.” Megatron hesitated, but then nodded and handed the disk over to the triple-changer. “We will distract it to give you an opening. Be careful, Blitzwing.” “As careful as I’ll be able to be, considering the circumstances,” Blitzwing smirked. Both of them took to the air again, Megatron flying to join Lugnut, while Blitzwing quickly transformed into his jet-mode and flew an arc around the creature, speeding up as he did so. The creature turned, as if to engage with Megatron and Lugnut again, but then suddenly turned and shot a tentacle out at Blitzwing, who narrowly avoided it with a barrel roll. “Does it know what we are planning?” Lugnut asked, optic getting wider. “It is certainly acting smarter then before. Like...Starscream...,” Megatron’s optics widened and he activated his comlink again. “Blitzwing, abort!” “I can’t!” Blitzwing answered. “I am already at full ramming-speed!” Megatron opened his intake to warn him off again, but a tentacle, larger than the ones befroe, suddenly wrapped itself around his chestplate. Lugnut suffered the same fate. The two of them hammered the appendages holding them with sword and servo but to no avail. The limbs were thicker in composition and seemed to have hardened as well. Megatron sunk his sword into the tentacle holding him. Purple, energon-like liquid emerged from the already closing wound. “It merged itself with Starscream,” Megatron said horrified, to no one in particular. “It heard everything we have said over his comlink!” The creature pulled him and Lugnut closer, already it’s body was closing around them. And then Blitzwing collided with it’s head, transforming back to his robot-mode and activating the disk as he did so.  Without missing a beat the creature turned it’s head and swallowed him whole. A blast of electricity  flared up and engulfed the creature’s body. At first, nothing else happened. But then, all of a sudden. the creature’s body began to change, hardening, becoming more and more brittle. Until it finally collapsed in a heap of white powder. Megatron. Lugnut, Blitzwing and Starscream hit the ground hard, yelping and grunting as they did so. Lugnut pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, only to promptly collapse back to the ground, when his severed arm fell right into his helm. Grumbling, he got back up once again, re-attaching the limb with some difficulty. Blitzwing was laying on his back, groaning and clutching his helm. “That was...immensely unpleasant.” “I agree,” Megatron grunted next to him, sitting up. Remembering something important, his helm snapped up and his optics frantically searched the are until they could make out the still body of a seeker amidst the creature’s remains. Megatron pushed himself up and hurried over to Starscream’s side, optics worried. Relief washed over him as he saw that, apart from an accumulation of the creature’s dust on his chest, he seemed unharmed. He knelt down next to Starscream, smiling softly as his second-in-command slowly regained consciousness. “What...what happened?” Starscream asked, weakly raising his helm. “You saved my life yet again, Starscream,” Megatron chuckled. “And although I am grateful, I would prefer you not nearly throw away your own.” Starscream tried to say something, but then suddenly convulsed as if in great pain, falling back onto the ground again. “Starscream?” Megatron asked worriedly, extending a servo to try and help his friend up. The movement shook off the dust on Starscream’s chestplate - to reveals a gaping, sparking hole, still dripping energon. Megatron’s optics widened. “No...” He heard Blitzwing and Lugnut approach from behind. Without losing anymore time, he took Starscream’s limp body with his good arm and stood up, determination in his optics. “We’ll return to our pods immediately!” The other two Decepticons saw Starscream’s wound and nodded. Lugnut stepped forward. “I will carry him.” When he saw Megatron’s frown he added: “You can only use one arm. Do you wish for him to slip out of your grip mid-flight because you were not able to properly secure him?” Megatron opened his intake as if to argue, but then bit his lip-plate and nodded. As gently and carefully as he could, he handed the seeker over to Lugnut, who arranged him in his big arms just as carefully. Megatron’s spark sank at the sight. Starscream looked so small and fragile in Lugnut’s arms.

They took off in a flash, not noticing a small, flying object following them at a safe distance. ______________________________________________________________ “This doesn’t look good, Megs,” Blackarachnia said gravely. She was leaning over a still unconscious Starscream, medical tools in both hands. The minute she’d seen the other Decepticons arrive, Blackarachnia had ordered them to get whatever first-aid medical tools they’d be able to find in their own pods, but not before lowering Starscream against the walls of her own so she could examine him. “You are our best medi-bot, Blackarachnia,” Megatron said, fighting to keep his voice calm even as he noticed Starscream’s electronic paint-job getting paler with every nano-klik. “Surely there is something you can do?” Blackarachnia shook her helm, looking at him with a mixture of sadness and pity in her optics. “The damage is huge, Megatron. The medical tools I have here are good for patching up, but they can’t fix internal injuries. I’m sorry. If I had some more material, I-” “We wouldeth be able to provide that,” a voice sounded from the edge of the clearing. The Decepticons whirled around weapons at the ready. Two organics were standing beside a strange, futuristic-looking vehicle. The bigger one looked incredibly uncomfortable and seemed ready to bolt at any moment, while the smaller one was grinning from ear to ear, hands on his hips and striking a confident pose. “It’s the organics from before,” Blitzwing said, blinking in confusion. “How were you able to find us?” “You’re not exactly hard to miss, pal,” the bigger organic grumbled, crossing his arms. Megatron narrowed his optics, positioning himself so that Starscream was hidden from view. These organics didn’t seem hostile, but he was not ready to risk Starscream’s spark over ‘seem’. “You say you are able to help us?” he asked skeptically. “Indeed!” the smaller organic beamed. He stepped forward and performed an extravagant bow. “Alloweth us to introduce ourselves. I am the Amicable Archer, protector of the poor and the bane of  Overlord Isaac Sumdac! And this,” he jerked a thumb at the bigger organic, “Beeth my faithful companion, Cyrus. We hadeth engaged in battle with the beast thou metal knights hast so heroically slain,  and what’s more, one in your midst hast saveth my life! But you wereth gone before we could properly thank you, so we tooketh it upon ourselves to follow you. We heard your fellow knight hadeth received ghastly wounds in battle which you were not equipeth to take care of and so we humbly offer you to accompany us to our lair.” The Decepticons stared at him for a while, before their gazes slowly turned to Cyrus. The big man sighed. “He means we wanna thank you for saving us back there. Your pal seems to be in a tight spot and our base has some pretty neat robotic tools that could help you repair him. We can lead you there, if you want.” For a while, no one said a word. “Allow us to debate amongst ourselves, organics,” Megatron said finally. Archer nodded eagerly, while Cyrus just shrugged. The Decepticons huddled around close to the pod. “We should take the offer,” Blackarachnia whispered. “We’re obviously going to be here for a while and if they’re handing us a place to stay just like that, why look a gifted oil can under the lid?” “We cannot trust them,” Lugnut hissed. “For all we know they might have been responsible for that abomination! And we’d play right into their servos by following them to spark knows where!” “But they do seem earnest. And I saw them trying to fight that creature off when we arrived,” Blitzwing objected. “What reason would they have to deceive us?” “Apart from that, we’re running out of options and time,” Blackrachnia added, casting a worried glance at Starscream’s still body. “He needs medical attention and fast. Otherwise...” Megatron had been silent throughout the debate. Now he followed Blackarachnia’s optics, his own finding their way to Starscream’s wound. Could they really trust those organics? But did they really have a choice? He found himself wishing for Starscream to be here and take part in the debate. The seeker’s well thought-out advice and easy smile had helped him master more than one difficult situation in the past. If it was him lying there, what would Starscream have done? Then the seeker shifted and moaned in pain and that was all Megatron needed to make up his mind. “It is as Blackarachnia said. We have neither the time nor the options to decline them,” he said, turning his helm back to the other Decepticons. “Starscream is in dire need of help. The sooner we can find it for him, the better. Blitzwing, get the AllSpark. It is located in another pod to the south of us, not far from here.” Blitzwing nodded, stepped back and flew off. Megatron, Lugnut and Blackarachnia turned back around to Archer and Cyrus. Cyrus seemed curious about Blitzwing flying off while Archer tried (and failed) very hard to pretend he had not tried to eavesdrop. “We are taking your offer, Archer,” Megatron said, taking care to keep his expression neutral. “Lead us to that ‘base’ of yours.” ______________________________________________________________ Said base turned out to be a massive abandoned factory at the rim of downtown. The building was rectangular in shape, with windows that had been reduced to broken pieces of glass years ago. But as Archer assured them when it came into view, it’s appearance successfully hid the fact that every bit of machinery inside it was not only still fully functioning, but barely used as well. Apparently Overlord Sumdac had bought and abandoned the place during his rise to power, in favor of purchasing, in Cyrus’ words ‘flashier’ places to assemble his drones in.

All of that meant little to Megatron. During their flight he turned his helm around to look at Starscream, carried in Lugnut’s arms again. And he liked what he saw less and less. The seeker seemed barely conscious, not even flinching when Lugnut touched down on the ground in front of the factory’s gate. Archer typed some numbers into a control panel to the entrances’ right and the shutter moved upward with a heavy rattling sound. The inside of the factory, true to Archer’s words was littered with machinery and machine parts that for all intends and purposes looked just as alive as the rest of the place. Several doors led from the main hall to other parts of the building and Archer hurriedly waved them to one on the far right. “This tract houseth a repair station for larger machines. I believe it mayeth be big enough to allow for your friend.” He led them down a dark hallway that lit up as they moved along, until they reached another big door. Archer repeated the same process he had on the entrance and the door slid open to reveal a massive plate on two lowerable columns, along with a large number of currently inactive robotic arms around it. Blackarachnia gave an appreciative huff. “A bit dated, but it’ll do.” She motioned for Lugnut to lay Starscream down on the plate, while she walked up to it’s right side and retrieved her medical tools from her storage compartment. With a quick look at the small, human-sized control panels, she put her hands on each of them for a while, before raising and motioning them a few times. The robotic arms around her sprang to life and followed her movements. She nodded, seemingly content, then motioned toward the platform which now had Starscream’s body on it. The platform slowly came upwards until Blackrachnia motioned for it to stop. She turned around to the rest of the Decepticons. “I think you all should leave now. This next part isn’t exactly palatable.” “Where should I put the AllSpark?” Blitzwing asked as he and the others turned to leave. Megatron thought for a second. “Leave it here,” he said eventually. “I believe the good doctor needs all the life she can get.” Blackarachnia gave a thumbs-up from where she was standing, not turning around. She had already started operating, robotic arms around her moving towards Starscreams wounds. Blitzwing put the AllSpark in a corner of the room where it wouldn’t be in the way, then followed Lugnut and Archer outside. Megatron waited until he had gone. Then he spoke up again. “Blackarachnia?” She grunted in response, annoyed with the interruption. Megatron turned around, looking at her, at the table holding Starscream. “I beg you. Save him.” He received no answer and hadn’t expected one. He wasn’t certain if she even heard. But he knew he would never have been able to forgive himself if he hadn’t told her. Silently he exited the room, door closing behind him. ______________________________________________________________ Blackarachnia worked as if her spark depended on it. Though it wasn’t really her spark that was in danger here. With every minute, Starscream’s energy signature seemed to grow weaker. It had gotten to the point she had to provide energy by shock to keep it from going out. For every wire she connected, every nerve she sewed back together, two more seemed to be giving out. His energon pump was failing, so she had to use two of the arms to stimulate it until it started working again. A vital nerve weakened and she had to reconnect or shock it back online. And through it all she heard the ever more silent beating of his spark. The small pauses she had to make to renew her download on the control panels didn’t help. Megacycles went by and she felt she had come no closer to finishing what she’d started. Starscream’s internal machinery had taken far too much damage. She couldn’t repair it all fast enough and even if she could, she felt it would break down again. “Come on, Starscream, don’t do this to us,” she huffed, though she was certain he couldn’t hear her. A beeping on the monitor she had repurposed into a pacemaker gave a shrill warning that his spark was going to give out again. Cursing under her venting she pulled two robotic arms away from the nerve she’d been in the middle of repairing, build up electricity between them and shocked. The warning tone remained. She connected two wires and ordered the arms to shock his spark again. No change. Blackarachnia shot up, optics wide. Starscreams spark was shrinking. She could see it getting smaller by the nano-klik. “Oh no you don’t” she snapped, ordering all the remaining arms away from their current tasks and to feed-in. The arms put all their energy on the line, lowering and shocking the weakening light over and over. It was no use. Even when one arm after the other started to retreat due to lack of energy, she could make out no changes. “Frag,” she muttered, staring at Starscream’s dwindling spark, her whole body shaking. “Frag, frag, frag!” He was going off-line. He was going off-line and there was nothing she could do. She would have to go back out and tell the others, tell Megatron, that she had failed. Failed to save a fellow Decepticon warrior and friend. She heard Megatron’s voice, an unnatural pleading edge in it: “Save him.” She couldn’t. She’d tried it all. She’d failed. All of a sudden, a warm glow came from behind her. She whirled around, expecting to see Megatron standing in the doorway, somehow having felt what was about to happen. But the door was still closed. Standing right beside it, shining it’s light was the AllSpark. One of the oldest Cybertronian relics. The source of all sparks. Life itself. Blackarachnia stared at it, entranced. Something about it seemed to beckon her, to offer. An idea began to form in her processor. An idea that the older religious ‘bots on Cybertron would have called sacrilegious. At best. She looked back at Starscream. And vented sharply. His spark was almost out. It would extinguish if she didn’t act quickly. With a new found determination in her movement, she turned to the AllSpark. She knew what she had to do. ______________________________________________________________ The remaining Decepticons had assembled in the main hall, seating themselves on the random machine part or assembly line strewn about. The mood was tense. Every nano-klik one of them would raise their helm to look at the door they had come out of megacycles ago, Megatron the most frequent. Archer and Cyrus, reading the room, had decided to retreat to their own quarter in another part of the factory. Though there was much they (or at least Archer) wanted to discuss with their new acquaintances, neither of them wanted to disturb them during a moment of such emotional turmoil. Megatron had to restrain himself to not walk down the hall and tear open the door Starscream was being operated on behind. The main two things holding him back were his knowledge that disturbing Blackarachnia would accomplish nothing and his fear of what he would find. His servos were clenched in his lap, tightening with every cycle that went by. He couldn’t help but blame himself for Starscream’s fate. Starscream had always been there to have his back, to shield him from the worst the universe could throw at them. And yet, when the time had come to return the favor, he had failed to do so. Megatron didn’t know what he would do if Starscream went off-line. The seeker had been by his side for so long. So many battles fought, speeches held. So many things left unsaid.... The sound of an opening door tore him out of his dark thoughts. Blackrachnia staggered into the room, exhaustion written all over her face-plate. She collapsed onto an assembly line next to Blitzwing, putting her helm in her hands. Before any of them could ask, she lifted a digit. “He’s stable. Now he just needs to recharge for a while. I think we should all do that. I’ll start.” And with that, she dropped sideways onto the line and was in standby before any of them could say something further.

I was looking through the list of already made asks and I saw juniors first steps and was wondering we could also get juniors first word(s)???

YES YOU CAN, ANON \( ´ ▽ ` )/

Reiji’s twins:

The first thing his son said was “Num-num” because Reiji was cooking something that smelt really, really good and stirring the pot with one hand while keeping up a running commentary to the baby balanced on his other arm and, well baby has a good appetite and was hungry

The next thing the baby knew he was out of his father’s arms and being seated on the kitchen counter, Reiji in front of him and eagerly showing him anything and everything that he can get his hands on in the hopes of hearing him say it again

So far he’s tried a tin of tomatoes, an apple, expired cup noodles (which went straight into the trash after his son knocked it out of his hand and scowled at him), cloves of ginger,various condiments ranging from salt and sugar to vinegar, a head of broccoli and a bag of potatoes

Reiji even raided the fridge in his excitement at his boy’s first word, presenting to him butter, a bottle of fizzy drink (Baby squealing and clapping his hands in glee when Reiji opened it with a ‘pop’, which wasn’t quite the reaction he had been hoping for but still warmed his heart nonetheless), some leftover chocolates and a spiky fruit which he had no idea why or how it was in the fridge to begin with and that he himself didn’t know the name of

A little disheartened when another vocal miracle did not manifest, Reiji idly picked up a container of leftover fried chicken from the previous night and shook it half-heartedly at his boy

“Num-num!”* Reiji, not believing his ears, shook the container again and was rewarded with another baby version of the word for food and his son trying to take the container from him

He spent the rest of the day calling up everyone he knew (and texting and emailing those who either hung up on him or did not take his call) to both sob at and boast about his boy’s first word

(Ranmaru listened with some understanding at first, but a sizable vein-pop manifested on his temple after ten minutes of listening Reiji repeat himself

Camus hung up when Reiji paused to take a deep breath to recover

Ai, who had been in the middle of something, very sensibly switched off his phone after confirming it wasn’t about work

Reiji blubbered to Ai’s voice mail for a whole twenty minutes before realising that Ai wasn’t even there)

The Kotobuki family ended up having leftovers for days after that since right afterwards Reiji’s mother came over, equally as exhilarated as her son at the news, and the two of them whipped up enough food to feed a few small countries in a frenzy of excitement

»»————-　  ♥ 　————-«« »»————-　  ♥ 　————-««

“You wanna count with Daddy all the ways Daddy loves you? Okay~! One, Daddy loves you so much I would climb the bi–ggest, hi–ghest mountains if you wanted me to. Two, Daddy would do anything, anything in the world for you and your brother and your mommy but you knew that already, right? Three, Daddy would even, well, Daddy would even give up karaage for you. But you wouldn’t torture Daddy like that, right? You love Daddy just as much, don’t you? So much so much sooooo much~”

Reiji’s cheerfully bouncing his baby girl on his lap, enjoying their father-daughter time together

Apparently his daughter thought differently because one little arm flailed and her hand landed on Reiji’s lips, stopping up his mouth momentarily

“What’s that, my baby girl? You think Daddy’s talking too much? Noooo, you need to learn to appreciate the charm of a man who has a way with words like Daddy does—”

“Da!”

This time Reiji’s mouth stopped moving on its own accord

His little girl cocked her head at him, wondering why it was suddenly so quiet

“Dada?”

His mouth moving without forming any coherent words, Reiji stared at his daughter in his arms

His lips trembled and he had to swallow before speaking again

“Say that again for Daddy?” His voice was hoarse, his arms shaking as he held his baby girl up

“Da!”

He broke down completely then, throwing his head back, his puzzled daughter clasped tight to his chest as he bawled openly

Reiji was inconsolable for the rest of the day and the next

His S/O had to spend at least half an hour wiping the tears from his face and coaxing him to tell her what happened while his daughter was trying to squirm out of his grasp and towards her mother

Camus’ daughter:

“ ‘anda!”

Camus froze and stared at his daughter in his arms, who was holding out her arms to Alexander at his feet

“Did you just say ‘Alexander’, angel?”

“ ‘anda!” she insisted, still trying to make her way to Alexander himself, now on his feet and wagging his tail at her, a sign that he was ready to play horsie again

It was the sound of their daughter throwing a minor tantrum that made Camus’ S/O pop her head in to check on them and be greeted by the sight of Camus holding his daughter up with both hands, his face buried solidly in her hair, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs while their baby squirmed and bawled

Alexander was up on his hind legs and leaning on Camus, his nose nudging his arm to release the toddler so that they could go galloping around the house again

Ai’s son:

His son noticed that every time Mommy said a certain word she would either kiss Daddy on the face somewhere or Daddy would do the same for her

And baby boy loves getting hugs and kisses

“Hai?”

Ai stared at his son, his boy holding up his arms towards him with a very expectant look on his face

“What was that again?”

His son tried again, experimentally rolling the word around in his mouth to get it right

(Daddy was very big on saying words correctly)

“Ai!”

Ai.exe and a thousand other programs hung on the spot

Rebooting system, please wait…

“Did you…  Could it be that you just said my name?”

His son was getting impatient

“Ai—” he whined, lips pulling into a pout at how the word wasn’t working and no hugs and kisses were forthcoming

There were times when Ai really, really felt that he was going to cry and never failed to be surprised when no tears came out

That day rated among the top three

The only way Ai could relieve the sudden strong waves of emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him was by holding his son tight to him, his head in the crook of his baby boy’s neck

Baby was delighted that the word was finally working

“Say it again?”

“Ai!”

“Again.”

“Ai?”

“Once more.”

“Ai!”

“Again.”

“Bai?”

“Not ‘bai’. ‘Ai’. Come on.”

“Bah.”

Ranmaru’s son and daughter:

Ranmaru’s filling up the cat bowls with food, ignoring the meowing cats twining around his ankles and trying to climb up his legs

Points sternly at Niko who had managed to make his way up to the kitchen counter and was getting ready to make a head-start on dinner

“You. Scoot.”

Niko replied with a disappointed meow, ducked his head under Ranmaru’s scowl and leapt off the table

“Ko!”

Ranmaru’s hand stopped moving, much to the vocal dismay of the three other cats around him

“Ko!”

The cats’ dinner temporarily forgotten, he stepped out cautiously into the living room, still not believing what he thought he heard

His daughter was on the sofa where he left her, Niko stretched out on her lap, letting her run little hands roughly through his fur while she chattered to him in baby talk

“What was that?”

His little girl looked up and grinned gummily at him

“Ko!” she repeated, gathering and holding up what she could of the yawning cat in her arms

Unable to control the huge grin that was spreading across his face, Ranmaru dropped everything he was holding, scooped up both baby and cat and ran out of the room with an elated whoop

His S/O, startled out of what she was doing by the door abruptly slamming open, looked up to have both a giggling baby and a disgruntled cat thrust into her face

“She just talked!”

His S/O blinked and stared in surprise at Niko, who was beginning to look fed up with this whole business

“The hell are you looking at, I’m talking about Tsubaki! Here, say it again!”

He knocked his daughter and cat together excitedly under the worried eyes of his S/O

“Ran, don’t-please be gentle with the baby–”

“Nah, she’ll be fine. She’s tougher than she looks. Tsubaki, who’s this?”

“Ko!”

“Ya hear that? Our girl’s first word! Oi, Sousuke! Where’re you, kiddo?”

And off he goes to look for his son, cat and daughter tucked securely under each arm

»»————-　  ♥ 　————-«« »»————-　  ♥ 　————-««

Sad to say, Ranmaru wasn’t around much during his S/O’s pregnancy and the first few years of his son’s life

His boy’s actual first words were “mama” to Ranmaru’s S/O

It was one of the extremely rare occasions when Ranmaru was home and staring with some trepidation at his son who had been placed in his lap and was gazing back at him placidly

Shit, he’s fucking tiny! And why’s he so soft? What if I drop him and his head cracks wide open? What if I hold him too hard and he explodes?

Ranmaru was completely out of his depth

The only thing he could do was hold the baby gingerly and make sure he didn’t slip off his lap

Ranmaru was on the verge of giving up and getting up to hand off his son to his S/O when his boy curled a small hand around his and looks up at him

“Ba?”

The look of absolute trust in his boy’s eyes pierced right through him

“Baba?”

Ranmaru held him up at arm’s length and stared at him while he processed the sudden feelings of protectiveness that were rising up rapidly from deep inside him

Aww no. Fuck it all to hell.

Ranmaru breathed out a long, long sigh of resignation when he realized what just happened

He brought his son closer and carefully held him to himself

“Guess you’re stuck with me now, eh?”

His baby laid his head on Ranmaru’s chest and closed his eyes

“Yeah, that’s right. You just take it easy. Your old man’s here. Dad’s got your back.”

He gingerly smoothed fine baby hair away from his boy’s face

“I’m here for ya, kiddo. I’m gonna do my best so you stick with me too, alright?”

His son yawned as he snuggled down, one small hand resting over Ranmaru’s heart

The feeling of actually being a father now swelled up inside him once more

“I’m gonna take that as a ‘yes’ then. That’s my boy.”

DnD Adventures

Funny story about this. I recently had to do a reboot of my DnD character, Ryurk. The DM and myself made a few mistakes on the character creations so we had to rework his entire character sheet from the ground up. So doing so, we created a story line from it where my character was cursed by his master both emotionally and physically. This is the results. I hope you enjoy. 

For anyone curious, Ryurk is a half-orc/half water genasi fighter and barbarian with a samurai motif.

The Broken Calm

Ryurk--giant slayer, water shaper, lone sword, and father of a white dragon--sat alone at the spring of Beorunna's Well unsure of who he was anymore. The pieces of him were there in his heart, lying broken within his chest. Where he should’ve dull, tired from a night of fighting and feasting, his body felt alive for the first time in a long time. His party had changed something today, broke something free that he didn’t recognize anymore. Was this even him? He scratched at his back, clawing and clawing as though the tattoo still coiled around his spine and he could rip it off from his skin with his nails alone. Who are you? The words danced in his head and choked every thought. Who am I? 

He lowered his feet into the bubbling water. The heat burned at first and he felt it. Every part of him felt everything now. Scars long healed ached faintly on his skin, his muscles tired underneath as though he ran for months on in without rest. It was like his body was asleep, unknowing of the workings of itself. Yet through this pain, he found some energy for the first time. He grabbed his own wrist, stopping the itching on his back. It was becoming too much right now. Everything was too much. The stars were too bright, the fragrant smells of the forest too strong. He heard Pabi snoring despite being quite a bit off. The warmth...the heat...of the spring anchored him down. Through it, he was calm ...though the word now scared him.

Ryurk didn’t have to heart to tell them the truth about the tattoo’s meaning. Weaken was one interpretation, a more direct one with the dialect his family used. What it meant truly was calm. It was a slap in the face from his Master from miles away. He remembered his Master’s teaching, how he drilled the necessity of calmness within Ryurk’s mind. Master Ku didn’t want a boiling spring, he wanted an ice cap--a cold, calculating student of justice and rightness. The right student. The right samurai. The laws were meant to be followed and obeyed. Any deviation created a deviate. When Ryurk left in that dead of night, this was his punishment: to be calm, a lake of unperturbed water that knew nothing of waves. 

Looking back, he saw pieces of himself emerging. Those times he almost felt normal. Fighting helped, it broke through that veil for a time. Drinking and gambling too. But when the fighting was over, the gambling, the drinking subsided, the calmness returned. It choked him, he now knew. He wasn’t himself. He hadn’t been himself in decades. That scared him. Who am I? Fear soon melted to anger. 

The fiery urge to fight, drink, gamble, and far worse rippled through his body now. For the first time in a long time, he wanted to go wild. His body shook at the desire. He wanted to yell, go free in the wild and tear an animal apart with his bare fingers. A bear. A bear would be a challenge. He could find one and be back by morning. No. Lhoris wouldn’t like that much, he knew. Ryurk fumbled for his flask, fingers still shaking. He downed the entire flask, tasting the mixed drink on his lips barely. Weak. Weak. Not strong enough. Who am I? He didn’t feel like himself. Was this who he was before? He couldn’t remember. How was forcing him to change justice? How was this goodness in his master’s eyes? Ryurk threw the empty flask into the ground and shattering it...and let the rage fall. 

He looked over his shoulder, hoping for a moment that he didn’t wake the rest in his outrage. No. No one seemed to be awake. Clarke, Pabi and Jai were still asleep and Lhoris...well...they were as asleep as a thousands of years old elven druid could be. Ryurk rose from the spring in a gentle splash. Water dripped from his legs and feet, mudding the soles of his feet as began to pick up the stray parts of the ruined flask. 

Walking along the shore, he caught a glimpse of himself in the rippling water. The broken curse changed that too. He was never a small man; now, he was a literal monster. His muscles were thick as trees, his shoulders as wide as a bull. Most noticeably, he lost his relaxed hunch he cultured through the years. It made him appear taller though he knew that wasn’t true. The yellow in his eyes were tinted with his father’s red now in the dark of night. Were they always like that? No. They weren’t. Frustrated, Ryurk scratched at his long beard in a vain attempt to stop clawing at his back. The new strength, the undulled senses, the urge of life and power continued to swirl within him. All different. All new. He didn’t know what to feel anymore. The only thing he could think to do was to train. Perhaps it would hammer his now bursting energy into sleep. Or at least, that was what he hoped. There was no finding the rest of that flask anyhow. 

Tiptoeing through the outside of the camp best he could, Ryurk made it to his bag of weapons. There was no rhyme or reason to how he packed his arsenal within the bag, weapons hanging from the large leather sack. When on his back, more often than not it appeared as though the entire sack would break under the pressure of his collection. He knew it wouldn’t. Others didn’t. The only weapon that remained outside of that mess of metal was Kuraoi. He touched the white and blue blade, picking it up from with care. Flecks of mist rolled off the edge of the blade, reminding him of the mountains of his home at the start of spring. Holding it...her...tingled something in the back of his mind. There was a voice, faint and soft as a whisper. “You know who you are,” the familiar voice whispered. Kuraoi’s. A friend...long lost to the memory. “You know who you are because you can hear me again.” 

“Who--” Ryurk began, looking around. He remembered. The first person he failed to protect. The reason he became a samurai in the first place. Kuraoi. How could he forget? Was the curse that bad? Was his rage about her that terrible that his master saw him as a threat?“I’m sorry.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You may have forgotten, he may have separated us but...I’ve always protected you. Did you really think that I was going to let that giant kill you and your friends?” 

“I--” 

“You know who you are. You aren’t black and white law. You are unbridled strength that crashes into rocks along your shore. You’re recklessness, the moment you jump forward without a second thought to protect the people you care about. You’re commanding, your voice thunder on the wind. You protective like an animal on the prowl...and you’re kinda stupid.” 

“Hey!” 

“Well, it’s true. You aren’t what your master tried to make you and for that...he punished you...unmade you into someone you weren’t. But I was always here. Watching and living in this sword until one day you awoke again. My name is Kuraoi Snowstar and you once loved me. We are now apart in different planes but we are never alone. Be who you are. Remember. Heal. But be the man you wished to be. Become the Rageriver once more. Be who you were always meant to be.

Like a gate, his memories and feelings he hadn’t remembered came flooding back. He remembered Kuraoi’s face, a halfling girl with hair as white as snow and ice-crusted flowers in her hair. A sharper memory struck afterward. Her village burning and death all around her. The memory burned in his head, broken free along with the rest of the feelings of his body. He held it close all the same. Ryurk clutched the blade. He remembered his father making it, he remembered praying at her grave with it on his lap. The ice he had enchanted it with wasn’t a choice on a whim. It was yet another thing escaping from emotions sealed behind a door. He rubbed the hot tears from his eyes. This was the beginning. This was the first step to becoming the man he remembered. “Kuraoi.”

“Yes, love.”

“Don’t ever leave me again.” 

“I never did, Ryurk Rageriver. Now go. Pick up the blade, train, and heal, knowing that I'm always holding your weapons with you.”

Her voice disappeared into the night. The mist on the edge of the unsheathed blade rolled off in a burst, gently and softly rolling up into the air as a flower. Ryurk’s emotions, still new and raw, boiled and flared. He stood, his massive body quaking the earth around him. The ice rolled onto his doubled handed grip, forming and melting and forming again from the heat of his now boiling watery flesh. He swung his sword for the first time. It whistled through the air with a clean slice, the very power of it like a gust of wind. The faint crisp smell of the mountain top hit his nostrils. At this moment, he felt like a god. A confused god, one that knew nothing of his own power and strength anymore but a god all the same. Though the uncertainty wasn’t far from gone, he knew where to begin. Rageriver. 

He held on to the words in his head as he trained. He remembered every stance, circling through Water, then Stone, then Wind. Lightning still eluded him. The size of his body made even the other three difficult. The clothes didn’t help. Everything felt so tight against his body to the point he had no choice. He ripped off his sleeves and then his pants below the knee. Did it make him look the feral animal he had become? Sure. But they were in his way. With time, he would learn again. Swing after swing, he practiced. The crystals of ice whistled in the air, clanking softly against the ground. He held on to his memories, his failures up until now.

He remembered Rosni and Jai, touching death as fire from a mage consumed everything around them. He remembered the nightmares he had the night after watching Clarke fall to the giant in her own city at his side, hearing Bryn’s blood-curdling scream and sharp sickly green light that followed. Then there were those countless mistakes, each and every one of them possibly leading to the death of someone he loved. He was helpless then. Weak. Barely clinging on to his own life as his friends almost died around him. His master had made sure of that as a lesson, not knowing what he did hurt more than Ryurk himself. With a final slash, he looked over to his new sister Pabi curled up by his empty bedroom and then up the airship where his son Mochi slept. He wasn’t going to let that happen again. Lordless or not, masterless or not, he will learn and win at any cost. 

Honor meant nothing to the dead. 

Taking one last moment for himself, he relaxed. The excess energy seemed to have faded just a little. Sleep, however, was still a long way off. When your sense and emotions were dulled for decades, perhaps sleep was a far concept for the body to process. Still, he needed the rest. He knew nothing of who he was anymore, years stolen in what looked like a harmless light fog. He would have to remember. The pieces in his heart were still broken and his mind couldn’t process everything that changed within him. Tonight was only the beginning. 

Through the faint sounds of bubbling water, crackling fire, and gusts of wind, Ryurk heard movement behind him. It was a soft presence, though incredibly dark and mildly foreboding. There was a certain air to her, one that he hadn’t noticed before. He wondered how he had never noticed that before. Did all of his friends feel so magical? He turned to Jai, seeing her dark clothes and long black hair outlined in the campfire light. She inspected him for a long uncomfortable moment as though seeing him for the first time.

 “Uh...hi, Jai, I can explain?”

Alternate DKJ Bad Ending

@nothing-but-luds and I wrote another fic, this time as an alternate take on the Part 9 Bad ending. Brace yourselves for character death and angst.

***

The doctor was practically frozen, heart beating ten thousand miles a minute. There’s no way this could be happening, the boys betrayed everyone and now innocent citizens were paying the price. His son was immobile, lying on the examination table ready to be taken.

Two shadow hands were wrapped around his wrists, another clamped to the back of his head. Forcing him to watch as his robot was about to be dragged to hell. The boys made a motion like they were about to deploy their own shadow hands, when Kahl got one burst of adrenaline that caused him to cry out. 

“Wait!!”

They stopped, even the purple demons restraining his wrists turned to look. Kahl actually didn’t expect them to listen. Maybe they thought his desperate pleas were going to be hilarious. He took one good inhale through his nose, exhaled through his mouth, then spoke.

“Take me instead.”

The cups froze, even the demons. They all broke into a laughter, Kahl embarrassed about this decision.

“You think you can sacrifice yourself for your /son/?” Mugman teased. “If you’re willing to do this, it’s already too late. Your robot is with us now, there’s nothing else you can do, NOTHING!”

“But-“

“Finish this up, boys!”

The hands slowly began to devour the robot into hell. With anticipation, he broke free and ran to the robot, putting his arms on him.

“Please! Just take me instead!”

“You’d really be willing to give yourself up for a machine?”

“Yes. I’ve made up my mind. Just don’t take him!”

The boys thought about this for a second.

“Y’know, boss probably wouldn’t be too happy with us bringing back a broken robot.” Mugman said, clanging his fist on the robot’s unconscious chassis.

"I think you’re right.” Cuphead added, a gleam in his eyes. “If we brought back the person who /built/ the robot, he could make our boss tons of catastrophic weapons! Think of the reward we’ll get.”

“You know what? We’ll take you on your offer, old man.”

Their shadow hands shifted from the robot to Dr. Kahl.

Kahl can slowly feel hands starting to take him, going from his toes and slowly rising to his head. There’s no turning back now, but this is the only way to save his son.

“You’re gonna love him, Doc. The boss is very /nice/!”

Knowing Kahl only has a few seconds left before the shadow fully surrounded him, he decides to say good-bye to his son. “Robot... good-bye.”

The shadow had completely covered the doctor then vanished into dust.

“I think that’s all of them!” Cuphead rubbed his hands. “Now what should we do with this robot?”

“Who cares? We got the scientist’s soul, let’s go to Isle 2 and continue this!”

“Yeah!”

The boys and the purple demons left, leaving behind the robot on the examination table. The carnage moved to the west, towards another island of unsuspecting civilians.

System reboot...loading. Complete.

The robot’s eyes fluttered open, remembering the fight with the boys, looking down at himself to see he was now fixed. His father’s sacrifice meant his soul was now freed, but he didn’t know that.

“FATHER?” He tentatively stepped off the operating table and looked around the island. Why was it so empty?

"FATHER? WHERE ARE YOU? I'M BACK!" The robot called out, roaming around the cities and streets, looking high and low. "FATHER? PLEASE COME OUT."

From the robot's view, he can see chaos from Isle 2. He walked his way, finding his childhood friend getting captured by purple demons.

"BON BON!" The robot reached his hand to rescue her, but it was too late. The baroness had vanished, as well as the shadow hands. 

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" The island was now empty, only leaving the robot as the only debtor who hasn't been sent to hell.

Still confused, he needed answers. Panicked, he knelt down by Bon Bon’s candy guards, casting a huge shadow down on them. They were inspecting the part of the pavement where the hands dragged her beneath, and pivoted to face the robot.

“WHAT HAPPENED?”

None of the guards looked like they wanted to talk about it, but the waffle took it upon himself to fly up close to the robot’s face and speak.

“I don’t know if you know this, but the Baroness had a deal with the Devil. Now her debt’s come due, and...his minions took her away from us.”

“BUT I HAD A DEAL AS WELL. WHY HAVEN’T I DONE THE SAME?”

The guards all looked puzzled, until the robot spoke again. “HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FATHER?”

The robot searched the island, looking from Isle to Isle until he decided to give in. He sat down on the pile of junk, surrendered.

"DID HE LEAVE ME? WHAT DID I DO? IS IT THE CONTRACT?"

There was nothing else the robot can do, now that his father is gone and no where to be found. Something twinkled on the robot's sight, he saw the casino lights shining. Out of curiosity, he decides to check if his father is inside.

He’d gone to this place once, several years ago. It was probably one of the most conflicting decisions he’d ever made, because on one hand he got people to accept him, on the other he’d given up his soul. He couldn’t fit in the casino doors, so he decided to lean his body against a sturdy part of the mountain and pop his head off. It hovered, floating inside the casino with ease.

The robot was frightened by what he saw inside. Some of the other citizens of Inkwell that he’d seen around were being used as entertainment for the casino. But they weren’t there for enjoyment, the demons that frequented the place were torturing them for their own amusement.

He went to a backstage area to find the Baroness. Dress tattered and torn, hair a smeary mess. She was sniffling into her hands, muttering something about a fight she had been forced into.

“BON BON?”

Perking up at the synthesized voice, she looked up to see the robot’s head hovering above her. “What are you doing here?”

"I CAME HERE BECAUSE EVERYONE'S GONE MISSING."

"Robot, there's no time to explain. You need to get out of here! This place is too dangerous for you!"

"BUT I NEED TO FIND MY FATHER!"

The robot wasted no time and explored the casino, finding many debtors, but no sign of his creator.

"FATHER? FATHER?" He searched, only to find two cells from afar. Not wanting to get harmed, he hid behind a large spiky rock to find two cups beating up an old man.

Kahl was curled over in a fetal position, groaning in pain as the two boys kept kicking and taunting him.

“Not so smart are ya, smart guy?” Cuphead said before kicking him again. “Betcha wish you were back home, crying about that hunk of metal you gave up your own life for, huh?”

The robot was stunned. Did his father really do that for him?

“Who even does that?” Mugman laughed. “It’s just a robot, you could’ve built another one!”

“No...” Kahl choked out. “He was mine. He was special, he was the only-“

A swift kick to the face shut him up.

Maybe a wire came loose, or a circuit malfunctioned. Or maybe he just became enraged. Either way, something inside the robot’s electric mind snapped.

Something began to overwhelm the robot's emotions, not wanting to hold it any longer he released his full anger.

"WHY ARE YOU HURTING MY FATHER? IF YOU HURT HIM, I'LL HURT YOU!"

The cup brothers jolted, finding a giant robot head next to them. "Oh, is this some kind of movie cliche where someone surprisingly comes to rescue the hero?"

"Pfft! No big deal. Let's continue using this old man as a punching bag."

Now the robot was at full rage, using a mechanical arm to scare the boys away. They left his father, unconscious and wounded. The robot flew closer to inspect the body.

"FATHER? CAN YOU HEAR ME?" The robot tried to wake him up, rolling him over to find blood on his father's face, as well as his body. A pang of dread hit upon the robot's realization. "IS HE /DEAD/?"

What was it again that humans had? Something you could check to see if they were still alive. That’s right, vitals! The robot protruded his arm from his mouth again, putting two fingers on his father’s wrist, then the side of his neck.

That couldn’t be right. Maybe he just wasn’t doing it correctly. There’s no way he didn’t have a pulse. ...Breathing! If the robot put his hand near Kahl’s nose, he’d feel a breath, right?

...Why isn’t that working, either? Heartbeat. Just gotta put your ear to his chest and listen.

...

...No. This isn’t real.

Before the boys could come back, he produced another hand out of his mouth to scoop up his father’s body. It was limp, and his face frozen in a look of pained melancholy. He went back the way he came, carrying the body into the room of debtors, where Bon Bon was now joined by a couple others.

"EVERYONE! THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY FATHER!"

Everyone began to gather around the robot as he placed down the body on the floor.

"IS HE REALLY /DEAD/?"

The debtors tried to revive him, but unfortunately it was too late.

"Robot..." Bon Bon announced. "I'm afraid he is."

The robot gasped in shock, realizing that his father is /gone/.

"THIS CAN'T BE! HE SAID HE'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME! HE DIDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE ME THIS EARLY!"

"I'm sorry...but he's dead."

"IS THERE A WAY TO FIX HIM? LIKE HOW HE DID TO ME?!"

“Humans don’t work that way, I’m afraid.” Bon Bon was struggling to hide her own tears. “What he did for you was noble, but it cost him his life.”

The robot was struggling to process this. He’d only known about death as a concept. To be seeing it in real life...?!

A loud noise came from the hallway in a distance. Bon Bon turned to the robot with urgency. “Leave now. Bury him, give him a proper funeral. Don’t come back to this horrible place.”

“BUT-“

“It’s for your own good.”

She gave him one last goodbye hug, kissing him quickly before the robot picked his father back up and left the casino. Outside, he set his father on the ground, put his head back on his own body, and picked up Dr. Kahl once again. He looked so small now. His father, lying in his hands, bloodied and lifeless.

“YOU GAVE IT ALL UP FOR ME?”

Of course, his father didn't reply back. All he gave was silence.

"FATHER, YOU SACRIFICED YOURSELF TO SAVE ME?"

Again, there was silence.

"I KNOW YOU CAN'T SPEAK BUT ALL I WANT TO SAY IS THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME!"

Having nothing else to say, he went back to long term memory, remembering the funeral from 15 years ago. He found an empty casket from the junkyard and dug up a hole big enough to fit the casket.

"GOOD-BYE FATHER.' The robot placed down the casket inside the newly dug hole.

He covered the casket with dirt, sitting on his knees and just staring at it for a little bit. He could feel something rising up in his chest, but didn’t know how to express it. He couldn’t cry, he had no tear ducts.

Something compelled him to go back into the workshop, where he noticed his father’s journal open to a page on the control panel.

‘Maybe if I stall for enough time, I can figure out a way to get his soul back.’

“...HE DID, IN A WAY.” Lip quivering, he smiled a melancholy smile.

The robot opted to lie down next to where his father was buried, one hand on top of the grave, the other underneath his head.

Sleep mode: engage. Wake up in...UNDISCLOSED hours.

“THANK YOU, FATHER.” The robot closed his eyes as he went to sleep.

The island was quiet and less populated from then on. But in the years that passed, anyone that was brave enough to venture into the junkyard found a rusted metal man, plants and garbage blown about him, sleeping peacefully forever, with his hand protecting his own father’s resting spot.