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silvfyre-writings · 7 months

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You don't need to be strong right now (BSD Fanfic)

Hello~ It's certainly been a while since I've posted anything.

I've been a little busy you see, and life is just a little stressful so I haven't been writing as much, but rest assured, that things are calming down and I am working on my stories again! (Plz trust me when I say paperboy will get updated this month. I'm like, nearly halfway through the next chapter)

Today I bring you another Ranpo having a mental breakdown fic because apparently that's my new favorite trope to explore so I hope you enjoy!!!

They’d won.

So why did it feel like they hadn’t?

Why did it feel like there was still some kind of threat, lurking in the darkness and waiting to strike the moment they let their guard down?

And why was Ranpo the only one that seemed to notice it?

He didn’t understand where the feeling came from, yet no matter how much he tried to ignore and push past it, he just couldn’t. And really, he shouldn’t even be feeling this way, because they’d won in their fight against Fukuchi and his allies, and things were finally getting back to normal, and they had, for the most part, healed from their injuries, and—

—and everything was fine, really, so why was Ranpo still so on edge, a week after everything had gone down? Why did his heart continue to race like he was still in the race to outsmart Dostoyevsky? Why did his hand—the one that’d been run through by that sword—still continue to shake?

The answer was he didn’t know, and it wasn’t like he could bring up this uncertainty of his to anyone because everyone was dealing with their own problems following the whole Decay of Angels debacle, and besides… Ranpo was the strongest, he was the pillar, he was the one that everyone looked up to and relied on when things got hard, and he most certainly couldn’t be the one to fall apart. Not now, not ever.

“Ranpo-san.” Tanizaki’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and Ranpo allowed his eyes to flick open just long enough to see the case file in Tanizaki’s hands, stamped with the familiar logo of the police force. Ah, so they’re finally reaching out. It only took them a week to realize they need my skills. There was an awkward silence as Ranpo didn’t say anything, instead reaching out to grab at a lollipop he didn’t try to unwrap, and he heard Tanizaki make a sound. “Umm… the police are requesting your assistance, Ranpo-san.”

“So?” Ranpo scoffed, twirling the lollipop between his fingers. He felt no desire to take on the case; it was a simple one that Tanizaki could do himself, so there was no need for him to waste the time and energy in going all the way out to the crime scene anyway. He had far more important things to do like sit in his chair and do nothing. Because that’s what he was doing; nothing. He wasn’t falling apart. He was fine. “Do it yourself.”

Tanizaki glanced over his shoulder, and a sigh echoed from across the room—Kunikida’s desk to be exact—and Ranpo’s eyes opened once again to see the exasperated look on the other mans face. Kunikida’s eyes met his own, and he sighed again. “Ranpo-san… we’re all working right now on cases of our own. Hell, even Dazai is working for a change. The police asked for you specifically, so please—”

“Boring. Kunikida-kun’s become even more of a workaholic since Fukuzawa-san went off to Tokyo.” Ranpo whined and spun his chair around to avoid making eye contact with any of his coworkers. He stared down at the lollipop in his hand, ignoring the way his hand shook at Kunikida’s unimpressed tone before he unwrapped it and shoved it into his mouth. “I’m not doing it. Get Atsushi-kun or Kenji-kun to do it.”

“Ranpo-san—”

“It’s fine, Kunikida-san.” A chair scraped against the floor, the noise harsh on Ranpo’s ears, as Atsushi stood. “I just finished the job I was working on, so I can go out and help the police.” There was a pause, Atsushi obviously hesitating. “I—I know I’m not Ranpo-san, b-but—”

Kunikida’s voice softened, so different to when he’d been scolding Ranpo just a second ago. It made Ranpo’s gut churn. “But nothing, lad. You’re more than capable. Just do your best, alright?”

Ranpo didn’t hear Atsushi’s response, because he tuned out the conversation the moment it no longer involved him. He continued to remain where he was, facing away from everyone else, pretending that he couldn’t hear the whispers that broke out across the room. Really, his coworkers were fools if they thought he couldn’t hear them, but still, he didn’t turn around or tell them to shut up. They were just worried about him, and he couldn’t begrudge them that, as stupid as he thought it was.

He was the strongest, he was their pillar; they didn’t need to worry about him.

Because he was fine.

Unlike Dazai, who’d only just returned to work after being cleared by Yosano, albeit on desk duty until he grew more accustomed to the cane he now had to use because the escape from Mersault had shattered his leg.

Unlike Kunikida, who was even more stressed and exhausted because Fukuzawa was still too lost in his grief for his childhood friend, that he’d had to take over leading the Agency in his stead until further notice.

Unlike Atsushi, who’d gone through his own personal hell not knowing whether the Agency—the closest thing he had to a family—was going to be alright, and not knowing whether the fight against the Decay of Angels was going to end in their victory or not.

The point that Ranpo was trying to make, was that everyone’s worry was misplaced, because whilst everyone had been fighting and nearly dying, Ranpo had just been there on the sidelines, watching it all happen from the safety of Lucy Montgomery’s ability. And before her, it’d been one Edgar Allan Poe that he’d turned to, using his friend’s mansion as a safehouse to hide whilst the rest of the Agency had been fighting for their lives, unsure of whether he’d been alive or dead until he’d stepped in to rescue them.

He. Was. Fine.

And the sooner they realized it, the better.

“Ranpo-san, are you okay?” For the second time that day, someone approached him, and he turned his chair around just enough to see Kenji standing beside his desk, a frown on his face.

It was an expression that Kenji never should’ve had to wear, but here he was, frowning out of worry for Ranpo. Kenji too, had gone through it, fighting harder than he’d ever fought before against one of the Hunting Dogs, winning the fight, and then helping said Hunting Dog to find his missing friend just because he could, and said missing friend currently resting in the infirmary because after Fukuchi’s death, no one had known what to do with the Hunting Dogs, and by the time Ranpo had woken from his nearly two day long nap, the decision had already been made that the Agency would take responsibility for them.

A decision that he wasn’t happy about.

It made Ranpo feel uneasy, knowing that there was only a door separating him and his friends from the men that had hunted them down without mercy at the beginning of the whole debacle. And while Tecchou and his still unconscious friend—Jouno, Kenji had told him he was called—hadn’t caused any problems, Ranpo didn’t like that they were there in the first place. But apparently, he was the only one who was bothered by their presence; even Dazai, who was just as cautious as Ranpo was, wasn’t bothered by them being there.

So Ranpo pushed aside his misgivings and just pretended that Tecchou and his friend didn’t exist. Which was easier said than done when the man made his appearance several times a day to ask Yosano—or whoever was available if she happened to be out—to check on Jouno’s slowly healing injuries. He’d asked Yosano once why she hadn’t just healed them and sent them on their way, and she’d explained that because of their enhancements, she didn’t want to risk doing more harm than good until they could get in contact with the doctors that had done said enhancements.

It made sense, but Ranpo’s stomach had rolled at she said it. The Agency was too caring at times, focused on helping others when they should be helping themselves instead, and it seemed that once again, Ranpo was the only one to think that; no one had complained when Yosano had made the decision, and the younger members had all been more than happy to help. And Ranpo had just laid there, in a bed on the opposite side of the infirmary—Fukuchi had given him a concussion so bad he couldn’t even sit up without falling over—pretending to sleep when in reality, he was watching for the first sign of danger.

Danger that never came, but it didn’t hurt to be on the lookout.

“Ranpo-san?” Kenji’s voice took on a frightened tone, and he realized that he’d never answered the boy’s question.

A wide smile grew on his face as he spun his chair back around to face the room, kicking his feet up onto the desk, and throwing his arms behind his head, the position he always assumed when everything was fine and dandy, when he could afford to be light-hearted and joking. Internally though, he felt nauseous, and it felt like there was someone behind him, breathing on his neck even though all that was there, was the back of his chair. Something was wrong that he couldn’t yet pinpoint. But he would, because he was the best and he was fine. “Everything’s fine, Kenji-kun! But shouldn’t you be getting lunch for your friends in the infirmary right about now?”

He didn’t like the Hunting Dogs, but Kenji did.

“Oh yes, of course! In fact, I was just about to go and get lunch for everyone.” Kenji’s smile matched the size of his own, the boy’s worry disappearing all because Ranpo was smiling, and if Ranpo was smiling, he must be fine.

Which he was, fine that is.

“You just didn’t answer when I asked, that’s all.” Kenji continued to say.

“Eh, I have snacks, I don’t need lunch.” Ranpo shrugged, making a point to open a packet of chips and shove a handful into his mouth, just barely remembering to pull the lollipop out of his mouth in time. The chips were tasteless as he chewed them, it truly felt like he was trying to chew on wood. But he forced himself to eat them, because if he was eating there was nothing to worry about, and waved Kenji away with a hand. “Off you go, there’s a lot of hungry people in the room right now. Better feed them before they starve.”

Kenji continued to look at him, smile fading and that worried look returning to his eyes. The boy glanced over his shoulder, but Ranpo couldn’t think much on it, because the door the infirmary opened and he couldn’t help but tense and watch as Tecchou crept out of the room, eyes falling towards Ranpo for just a second before he avoided making eye contact, and instead approached Kenji.

At least the man could tell Ranpo didn’t like him being there.

“Might I join you?” Tecchou asked. “Jouno is hungry, even though he says he’s not.”

“Of course! A good meal will help Jouno-san recover faster! That’s what my family back home would always say at least!” Kenji beamed up at the Hunting Dog, and took Tecchou’s hand before dragging him from the room, chatter that Ranpo didn’t bother trying to listen to falling from Kenji’s mouth.

But while he didn’t listen, he did watch, because he was always watching.

He needed to make sure that Kenji came back after all.

“You aren’t eating.” Ranpo sighed as Yosano dragged a chair over and sat next to him, joining him as he watched over the rest of the office as they took one giant lunch break together, something that’d been Kyouka’s idea to help everyone after all that they’d been through together. It was a way for them all to feel reassured that everyone was fine—or close to fine—without feeling pushy and overbearing. And so far, Ranpo had gotten out of it each and every time by using his snacks as an excuse. He was still in the room, so it wasn’t like he wasn’t participating, he just wasn’t as hungry as the rest of them to eat a proper meal.

So it wasn’t surprising that Yosano approached him; after a decade of knowing each other, she was more than capable of picking up when something was wrong, even if Ranpo himself wasn’t aware of it yet. He did think it unnecessary that she would come and talk to him when he could name at least three other people that she should be checking in on instead, yet when he looked over to tell her as such, the words died before they even formed. A huff escaped him as he shoved another mouthful of chips into his mouth. “I am eating.”

“Snacks don’t count, Ranpo.” Yosano sighed, turning in her seat so that she could rest one arm on his desk and rest her head against her hand. “I wasn’t going to harass you because we’re all recovering still from everything that happened, but everyone’s starting to get concerned.”

Ranpo scoffed. “They should worry about themselves instead. I’m fine.”

“Then you won’t mind me asking how much sleep you’ve gotten in the past week, will you?”

The glare he gave his friend was one that would’ve had most people flinch away and avoid him, but all Yosano did was raise her brows, and lean a little heavier against the desk. Well if she wanted to play it that way… Ranpo pushed away from his desk and stood. Without saying anything he walked over to where Kunikida was eating his lunch and talking quietly with Dazai. He almost stopped then, because Dazai was just as nosy as Yosano was, and would know that what Ranpo was about to do was simply him trying to avoid being questioned.

Deal with Dazai’s theories, or Yosano’s harassment? Ranpo asked himself, slowing in his walk only a little before he came to a conclusion and continued forward. “Kunikida-kun! Got any cases for me?”

“What? Ranpo-san, you didn’t want to take the case earlier—”

“Oh, look! This one sounds interesting!” Ranpo swiped a random case off the desk, a murder if the brief look was anything to go by, and headed towards the door, waving the file at his coworkers who really needed to stop staring at him mid-chew. It was both gross and made him very uncomfortable, because really? Was it really that surprising for him to change his mind and take a case? He did actually do work from time to time. “Bye bye! Don’t touch my snacks while I’m gone!”

“Ranpo-san, wait! You need an escort—” Kunikida began to say before he frantically packed away his lunch and rushed to his feet, tripping a little as he hurried over. “—I’ll come with you!”

Ranpo glowered, but allowed Kunikida to fall into step beside him. He would rather have gone alone to the crime scene—it had happened within walking distance of the Agency so he would’ve been fine after a few wrong turns—but he knew that if he pushed for that, more questions would rise, and he’d taken on this case to avoid more questions. Mostly from his very nosy doctor friend, but she had said that everyone was starting to worry about him, so really, he wasn’t safe from questions no matter who he was with.

He still didn’t get why they were all so worried about him, because there was nothing to worry about. So what if he wasn’t eating or sleeping properly? No one else was either. If he had a dollar for the amount of times he’d heard his coworkers cry out during the night at the dorms from nightmares or flashbacks, he’d be as rich as Poe was, and that was saying something. And no, he wasn’t one of the ones crying out because he was fine. The worst thing he had to remember, was being shot at by the police, and knocked out by Fukuchi. And maybe just a little bit of stress from rescuing everyone. Meanwhile Yosano had almost been executed, Kunikida and Tanizaki technically had been killed; Dazai had almost died in his plan to stop Dostoyevsky, and Atsushi hadn’t stopped fighting once since the whole thing started. It made sense for them to be struggling.

And Ranpo was infallible, struggling wasn’t an option.

They were only a couple of blocks away from the crime scene, when Kunikida reached out and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, bringing the two of them to a halt. Ranpo turned and faced the man, taking note of the wary expression that he always wore when he had to talk to someone about something difficult. Usually that look was reserved for Dazai or Atsushi, so Ranpo immediately grew cautious at seeing that look turned on him of all people. Kunikida took a breath. “Ranpo-san, are you okay?”

“Everyone keeps asking me that. It’s a stupid question.” Ranpo said.

“It’s not stupid for wanting to check in on you.” Kunikida said gently, dropping his grip to push up his glasses. “Since the President’s been gone, I’ve been trying to see how everyone is coping with what happened. You are the only one I haven’t been able to speak with yet.”

“Yeah, because I’m fine, obviously. Great detective’s don’t need talking to. Save your worry for those that need it, Kunikida-kun or you’ll get even more stress wrinkles.”

“With all due respect, Ranpo-san, I don’t believe you.” Kunikida’s words had Ranpo stiffening. He stared at Kunikida without saying anything, because what was he supposed to say to that? Kunikida may have been the one that was in charge, but he was still four years Ranpo’s junior, with his own problems, and Ranpo wasn’t going to add another—even though there wasn’t another—problem to his plate.

Ranpo turned on his heel and walked off. “Believe what you want then, Kunikida-kun, but like I said, you should be focusing on everyone else instead.”

Kunikida hurried after him. “Ranpo-san, you were under a considerable amount of stress after we were accused of being terrorists. You fell through a window, and worked yourself to the bone trying to rescue us when we failed to escape the Hunting Dogs—”

“How do you know that?” Before Ranpo even realized what he was doing, he spun around and interrupted Kunikida, heart pounding for a reason he couldn’t identify. That was a lie because he could—it was fear—but he couldn’t identify why he was suddenly afraid. That too, was a lie, because Ranpo’s mind never stopped deducing, so he could figure out that the reason why he was scared and on edge, was because Kunikida knew about his moment of weakness, and if he knew, then everyone else knew, and—

“Poe-san mentioned it to us after he wrote in the Page.” Kunikida said slowly, interrupting Ranpo’s thoughts, speaking to Ranpo as if he was some frightened child and not the world’s greatest detective. “It was when you were unconscious; he asked us to keep an eye on you because you hadn’t slept or eaten while the two of you were together, and that he was worried.”

“Poe-kun worries too much.” Ranpo’s voice was bitter as he stormed off, but deep down he felt warm inside to know that Poe still cared about him and his wellbeing, despite the harsh way that he’d treated the other man during the entire incident. A little bit of guilt wormed it’s way into his heart; it wasn’t like he’d meant to treat his rival badly; it was just that… in the heat of the moment, Ranpo was far more focused on results than feelings and when he got like that, he lashed out regardless of who it was in the way. I’ll talk to him soon.

Kunikida’s footsteps echoed just behind him. “I think Poe-san is right to be worried. You’re shutting us out, Ranpo-san—”

“Just drop it.” Ranpo looked over his shoulder and glared. “There is nothing to worry about because I am fine. So either forget it and come with me, or go back to the Agency.”

Kunikida was silent for a moment before he sighed. “Alright…”

The rest of the walk was made in silence, although Ranpo could tell that Kunikida wanted to press the issue, and from the way he could hear the younger texting behind him, he wasn’t the only one that did. It annoyed him a little to know that his co-workers were plotting behind his back instead of just talking to him directly, but then again, it wasn’t like he was talking to them when they tried to in the first place. He kicked a stone and watched as it rolled away, and found himself thinking that maybe if he’d been born a stone instead of a genius, that life would be a little easier.

“Ah, Ranpo-san! What are you doing here? We didn’t ask for you.” An officer greeted upon Ranpo’s approach, sharing a confused look with his colleagues. Which was fair, because Ranpo hadn’t been asked to help with this case, and honestly, he still didn’t quite know why he’d even decided to take it. The case was a simple mugging, and the culprit’s prints were all over the scene so it wasn’t like it would take the police long to find them.

Yet here he was.

Ranpo threw a smile onto his face and shrugged. “Who cares, I’m here now. So why not save yourselves some time and let me solve this easy case?”

“Easy?” One of the officers scoffed. “Just because you have an ability that makes things easy for you, doesn’t mean we have that same luxury.”

Why is it always the young ones that are so stupid. This case is easy if you just open your eyes. Ranpo rolled his eyes and strode over to look down at the corpse; a young man, with plenty of defensive wounds, and a fatal stab wound to the neck, the knife still embedded. “Even without my ability, this case is easy. It was a crime of opportunity. He was on a date with a woman, and she stabbed him to take his money. If you track his credit card, you’ll find her, since she’s no doubt spending as much as she can before she’s caught.”

The first officer sighed, and said something into the radio on his chest before turning his attention back to Ranpo. “I have no doubt that this is a stupid question, but how do you know—”

“That it’s a woman?” Ranpo interrupted, and without waiting for a response, powered on. “The defensive wounds on his arms are scratches from someone with very long nails. Now some men do have longer nails, but given the angle of the stab wound, which shows the attacker was at least a head shorter than the victim, it’s more likely that the attacker is a woman.”

“I see… thank you for the, well, unexpected assist, Ranpo-san.” The officer said. “We didn’t ask for your assistance, so we can’t pay you, I hope you understand.”

Ranpo waved away the officer’s words. “Whatever, just give us more challenging cases next time. Even Atsushi could’ve solved this.”

He turned around, ready to leave, when he heard the younger officer speak, no doubt not meaning for Ranpo to hear him, but of course, Ranpo heard every word. “Why does he always make it sound so easy? This case… the terrorism incident...”

What? Easy? Ranpo took a shaky breath, remembering all the sleepless nights he’d pulled just to gather all that evidence that the police hadn’t even looked at until he’d done that interview. Then he remembered the amount of stress he’d been under when he’d had to stop finding evidence and hijack an entire assassination plot in just a couple of days—again, with more sleepless nights, but that time he’d been joined by Poe who’d been a massive help. And not to mention, the entire airport where he’d had to plan on his feet, using his genius in ways he never had before, and still almost losing. Like hell had that been easy, it’d been one of the hardest times of Ranpo’s life, and here was this young officer trying to say that it was easy? No way.

“Easy?” Ranpo said under his breath, turning towards the officer that he’d overheard. He was given a confused look that made Ranpo’s already unstable emotions rise even more, and he walked over and grabbed the officer’s collar. “You think that case was easy?”

He could hear Kunikida saying something, could hear the other officers raising their voices, but there was blood roaring so loud in his ears, that Ranpo could only hear himself.

“Do you think it was easy to have to hide from the police and solve an entire terrorism plot? Do you think it was easy, to know that your friends would’ve died if you had been just a second too slow? And do you think it was easy, to trust the one person you thought you could trust, only to discover they were the reason you were being accused of terrorism in the first place? Do you think that’s easy? Do you?” Ranpo knew he was shouting, could feel his hand shaking, and could see the fear in the young officer’s face as he was screamed at. But Ranpo had to make sure that they understood it hadn’t been easy, that even a week after it all, despite things being considered normal because they were taking cases and working again, they weren’t.

Things weren’t normal, yet Ranpo was the only one who seemed to care about it.

A hand gently wrapped around his wrist, and pulled his hand away from the officer’s collar. Ranpo followed the hand to stare up into Kunikida’s eyes. “Ranpo-san, that’s enough.”

Ranpo took a breath before he nodded, not listening as Kunikida spoke, no doubt apologizing for him, before he felt himself being dragged back the way they’d come. Neither of them said anything, not that there was anything for them to say, really. All Ranpo knew was that he’d fucked up, allowed his emotions to get the better of him when he should’ve kept calm. Of course the police thought his job was easy, they all thought he had an ability to solve crimes in an instant, and while, yes, that was what he did, it wasn’t an ability that did it. It was just him.

It was always just him now that he thought about it. Every time the Agency ran into a case they couldn’t figure out fast, they always turned to him for the answers. And sure, sometimes it was necessary, especially when there was a time limit, but there were plenty of times where Dazai would’ve been enough, or Kunikida, or literally anyone else but Ranpo. He knew it was because he was the oldest, the most experienced—the pillar, the one everyone relied on—but he really wished that the others would at least try.

He was getting tired.

Tired of being the pillar.

“Ranpo-san—”

“No.” Ranpo said, pushing past Kunikida as the man tried to block him from entering the main office, and making his way to his desk. He didn’t get very far before the other grabbed his wrist and stopped him, levelling Ranpo with a look that spoke of an incoming lecture, a lecture that he very much did not want to hear, not now, not when he was still wound up. Yet Kunikida wouldn’t let go when he tried to pull his arm free, and he could see the rest of the Agency at their desks, watching, waiting, just like they’d probably been planning. Behind his back like he’d noticed them doing.

Suddenly Ranpo felt like a cornered animal, baring its teeth at its hunters. He wanted to leave, and leave now.

“Listen to me, Ranpo-san!” Kunikida said, loud, but not shouting, because he’d been with the Agency long enough to know that yelling at Ranpo did nothing but make Ranpo avoid work even more. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, because you aren’t the type to talk about your feelings, but you need to. This can’t go on!”

“I’m fine, Kunikida!” Ranpo snapped, finally tugging his arm free.

“No, you’re not.” Yosano piped up from where she was leaning against one of the desks. “You haven’t been fine in ages, but instead of asking for help like everyone else did when they struggled, you shut us out and let it fester.”

“I. Am. Fine.” He wrapped his arms around himself, lowering his head to glare at the floor. He repeated the words, over and over, until they no longer felt like words. But just like how everyone in the room clearly didn’t believe in them, neither did he.

He wasn’t fine.

A hand was placed on his shoulder, and he jerked away, lifting his head to see Yosano had come closer, no doubt trying to comfort him as she usually did when he was upset by something. But this time the touch burned, and it continued to burn as he stepped back, trying to get some space in a room that was filled with the desire to crack him open and see his innermost thoughts. It felt like he was suffocating.

Yosano sighed, but didn’t try to get closer. “Talk to us, Ranpo. Tell us what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong?” A laugh bubbled out of him, uncontrolled. He wanted to shove it back where it came from, but another escaped instead. “What’s wrong isn’t me, it’s all of you.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s because of all of you that nothing is right again!” It wasn’t true, because it was the fault of Fukuchi and the Page, but logic had abandoned Ranpo completely the moment his emotions had decided to take charge. “If you’d just listened to me in the beginning, we never would’ve been accused of terrorism, we never would’ve gone through what we did, and we would’ve been fine. But you were all too stupid to listen to me, so I had to step up, like always to save us—”

His eyes were starting to burn, tears forming and threatening to fall, but he kept going, the words spilling out like a broken dam. Everything he’d been thinking about since they’d returned to work, escaping from his mouth like water from a broken tap. Hah, get it? Because he was nothing more than a broken tap right now. “—because all of you are so damn incompetent that you can’t see a trap right underneath your noses—”

“Hey, that’s not—”

“—it’s the truth!” Ranpo shouted, glaring over at Tanizaki as the boy tried to interrupt him. “I’m the reason this entire place exists in the first place! I’m the genius detective that can solve cases in less than a minute, surrounded by people who’d rather come to him for all the answers instead of pulling their brains out of their asses and using them! And I’m tired of it! I’m tired of being the pillar of this place, tired of being the one you all rely on when things go south! Because it’s everything! Atsushi, the Guild, Dostoyevsky, and now Fukuchi, all of them were solved by me! Sure, you all did the fighting, but it was my plan that saved us! Mine! And I don’t want to do it anymore!”

“What do you—”

“Don’t, Kunikida-san.” Someone said, and Ranpo heard footsteps approach as he stood there, tears running down his face, body trembling. Gentle hands grabbed at his own, and Ranpo opened his eyes to see Atsushi watching him with an equally gentle look. The boy’s own hands squeezed Ranpo’s own, and his thumbs rubbed the back of them in a soothing manner. The motion helped to calm Ranpo a little, but not by much; he was still trembling. “We hear you, Ranpo-san, we do. Can you take a breath for me? Please?”

Ranpo nodded, and took a single shaky breath, only to let out a sob at the end. And then another, and another, as he broke completely. He felt himself going down as his knees gave out, but slowly, as Atsushi went down with him, and the boy didn’t even hesitate to draw his senior into his arms and hold him close. It took Ranpo a moment, but once he realized that Atsushi wasn’t going to press him and just hold him, he allowed himself to fall apart, burying his face against Atsushi’s shoulder as he cried. He could feel a hand cupping the back of his head, and another rubbing at his back, but ultimately, what he focused on the most was Atsushi’s words in his ear.

“We hear you, Ranpo-san.”

It was about damn time they did.

When Ranpo woke, he found himself in a familiar room in a familiar bed, with a warm weight against his back and another against his stomach, accompanied by the sound of fingers flying across a keyboard and no recollection of how he got there. But it didn’t take long for him to figure it out. Oh… that’s what happened. He pulled a hand from underneath the covers and stroked the fur of the raccoon curled up against him. Karl made a quiet noise of surprise before stretching out and going back to sleep. And for just a moment, the sound of typing disappeared, yet nothing was said and the sound soon returned.

Ranpo stayed silent for another twenty minutes, just running his fingers through the soft fur beneath his hand, and listening to Poe as he wrote on his laptop beside him, the sound of the keys helping to him awake and present. Finally, he sighed, and broke the quiet. “They called you?”

Silence fell upon the room again. “They did.” It was hard to tell just what Poe was thinking from those two words, but Ranpo took a chance on his rival not being angry at him. He hadn’t seen Poe since they’d worked together to rescue the Agency after all, and well… Ranpo didn’t usually regret many things, but what he said to Poe that day, that was something he regretted.

He wouldn’t have been upset if Poe had been mad at him.

“Did they tell you what happened?”

Ranpo listened as Poe sighed, and rolled over as Poe laid down so they were face to face with each other. There was nothing but concern and worry on the author’s face, along with hesitation as he clearly wanted to hold Ranpo close, but was holding himself back from doing so. It hurt, because Poe had never held himself back around Ranpo, but Ranpo also appreciated it. He wasn’t too sure if he’d be able to handle being hugged right now. “Yosano-sensei called me, said it was an emergency, so I went down. You were unconscious, and they told me you had a breakdown.” Poe hesitated before he gained a determined look and continued. “And they said that until further notice, you weren’t allowed back at work. I brought you here afterwards.”

“To your bed? That’s moving a little fast isn’t it?” Ranpo couldn’t help but make the joke, as inappropriate as it was. But then again, it was Poe who was probably the one person that wouldn’t judge him for using humour in a situation that was very much not funny. They were both broken people after all.

And sure enough, although he didn’t laugh, Poe’s mouth twitched upwards. “I was going to put you on the couch, but I thought that might be a little unkind of me so I chose the bed. But I didn’t want you thinking I was trying to make a move on you though if you happened to wake up during the night, so I slept on the couch.”

Ranpo hummed. “It’s your bed, I don’t mind if you sleep in it.” He sighed and shuffled a little closer until his head was resting against Poe’s chest. Without a word, an arm—just one arm—was draped over his side and he was pulled a little closer. “How long did I sleep?”

“Just over a day. I was about to order food actually if you felt up to eating something.”

“Not hungry.” Food was the last thing on Ranpo’s mind, but he blamed that on the fact that he was still coming out of a post-breakdown nap. He wanted to call it something else, but he couldn’t since a breakdown was what it had been, and while he should feel embarrassed about breaking down into his tears and screaming at his co-workers—because, yes, he did remember everything he said, it was a skill and a fault of his—he didn’t. He didn’t feel anything other than a very strong desire to go back to sleep.

Poe hummed and sat up to grab his phone. “I’ll order something simple that we can reheat tomorrow then. Yosano-sensei mentioned you hadn’t been eating properly, so apparently I’m supposed to make sure you eat at least one meal a day.”

“What part of not hungry, did you not understand?”

“Oh, I understood it perfectly, Ranpo-kun, but I’m simply not taking no for an answer.” Poe said as he tapped away, a quiet ding indicating that food that Ranpo very much did not feel like eating, was on the way. “It’ll be an hour, so you can go back to sleep if you’d like.”

Ranpo didn’t say anything, he simply rolled over and curled up around Karl again before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to come for him. At least if he was sleeping, he didn’t have to deal with Poe’s somewhat overbearing nature; it made sense why the author had been called to take care of him then, because Poe had once spent six years obsessing over the perfect novel for him, and even after failing, still kept trying.

And while the rest of the Agency would simply give in to Ranpo’s whims the moment he shut them out, Poe would not, because he was just as stubborn as Ranpo was, if not more.

For the next three days, Ranpo spent his time migrating from Poe’s bed to Poe’s couch, with the occasional detour to the kitchen or the bathroom, but mostly, he moved between the two pieces of furniture. If he’d had it his way, he would’ve just stayed in the bed the entire time and slept, but apparently Poe had decided to take his role as caregiver seriously, and refused to let Ranpo mope about for too long. Which of course, gave way to arguments as Ranpo’s already frayed buttons were pushed even more, and really, he had to give credit to Poe not just giving up and throwing him back to the Yosano and everyone else at the Agency, because some of the things he said to his rival… well they weren’t very kind.

Usually they were just light-hearted jabs, the kind that he and Poe usually exchanged in a joking manner with each other because they never meant them, but this time Ranpo spat insults and words of cruelty, and despite them, Poe continued to just smile and let Ranpo curse him out. But the third day—the current day—had been the worst, because Ranpo hadn’t slept well at all, tossing, and turning most of the night, so when Poe had dragged him out of bed and forced him into the bathroom to have a shower, Ranpo hadn’t hesitated to lash out and call Poe pathetic and desperate for trying to help a man that could never give him what he was after. He also said a lot worse than just that.

And it was the first time that Poe had actually looked hurt by his words, and Ranpo had felt an immense amount of guilt afterwards.

“I’m sorry.” Ranpo said as sat on the floor of the shower, scrubbing three days of grime out of his hair.. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“You did.” Poe responded from where he sat on the floor, leaning against the wall as he kept Ranpo company, fingers tapping on his knees. “Usually you are kind, but you haven’t been kind in a while, Ranpo-kun, and that’s okay. I know you are hurting—”

“No, it’s not.” Ranpo interrupted. “You always drop everything the moment I ask, and yet, I can’t even take the time to treat you kindly.” His eyes burned, but not from the shampoo, and he curled up underneath the spray of the water. “The one person who I would consider an equal to me, and I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate you and how much you helped me.”

Poe hummed. “You don’t need to. I’m your rival, remember? So I know you care, and that you regret what you said, even without you telling me..”

“I’m still sorry.” Ranpo sobbed. “You deserve so much better than me.”

There was another hum, and through his tears, Ranpo felt arms wrap around him, felt himself drawn into an embrace, warm lips against his brow. “Maybe I do, Ranpo-kun, but it is you that I have fallen for, so I will take your cruelty along with your kindness, and if you are ever ready, I will take your love as well.”

“Here. Since food’s not really agreeing with you right now, I thought this might go down better.” Ranpo looked up, pulled out of the memory by Poe’s looming figure that was holding out some kind of drink to him. He looked at it sceptically. Poe chuckled. “It’s a smoothie. Strawberry and banana which I was told you do like, so if it’s bad, blame Yosano-sensei, not me.”

Ranpo took the drink and took a cautious sip, and waited until he was sure it would be okay, before he sipped on it some more. The last thing he wanted was to throw up again because his stomach didn’t agree with what it was being given. “You spoke to Yosano?”

“Kunikida-san, actually. Yosano just happened to be nearby when I asked what was best to give you when you were unwell. The Agency sends their well wishes as well, said they hoped you would feel better soon and that they were missing you.” Poe said, sitting down beside Ranpo’s feet, looking a little out of place without his laptop or a book, hands fidgeting with his pants, and then each other. “Do you want to talk…?”

“No.” Ranpo shoved his feet underneath Poe’s thigh, and scowled into his drink. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Poe hummed and patted Ranpo’s leg a couple of times; a reassurance. “That’s fine. Just know you can talk to me when you are ready to. If you want to, of course.”

And that was what Ranpo appreciated about Poe the most; he knew when and when not to push.

Over the next week, things got a little easier for Ranpo. Apparently being away from work was just what he’d needed, because since he’d been away—aside from those first rocky days—he’d slept and eaten better than he had in a while. He did miss solving cases though, and one day, when Poe had been out, he’d tried to call the Agency, if only to see if they had any cases they needed his help on, because surely, he could help with just one? But no, his call had been answered by Atsushi, who’d been more than happy to hear from him, but had refused to give in to his demands for something to do. Instead, the boy had told him to watch this show that he’d been introduced to before hanging up.

Rude.

But was he watching the show? Yes. And was he enjoying said show? Also, yes.

Most of the time, he was left to his own devices, left to stretch out on the couch with Karl in his lap, and enough blankets to build a small mountain. Sometimes he was joined by Poe, who would either sit behind him and allow himself to be used by a pillow, or he’d sit at the other end of the couch and stretch out as well, laptop resting against his knees as he worked on his newest story. They didn’t really speak to each other much, other than how are you’s and what are you doing’s. Not that Ranpo minded, because Poe’s presence was more than enough, and he appreciated the space that the other was giving him.

There was no pressure at all, on this couch in Poe’s house, and that was just what Ranpo needed.

He’d had more than enough pressure to last the rest of his life.

Once another week had passed—marking two entire weeks he’d been off of work now—Ranpo had focused on preparing himself for a visit, because the Agency couldn’t force him off of work forever, and he knew that the only way he’d be going back to work, was once he actually opened up and talked about what had happened. Which Ranpo wasn’t exactly keen on. But… maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to do. To talk, he meant.

So, when the doorbell rang, Ranpo wasn’t surprised, and sat up from where he’d been laying curled underneath the blankets, wearing one of Poe’s oversized hoodies whilst watching a movie. He listened as Poe answered the door and greeted the person, and prepared himself to be met with Kunikida or Yosano, maybe even Dazai—although he was pretty sure that Dazai would rather die than have a heart to heart with Ranpo of all people.

But then Fukuzawa appeared in the doorway and Ranpo froze.

Really, he shouldn’t have been surprised, because Fukuzawa cared about everyone in the Agency, and while he hadn’t witnessed Ranpo’s breakdown, he no doubt would’ve been told about it upon his return from Tokyo. Or maybe he’d even been told the day after and cut his trip there short, since when Fukuzawa had left, he’d told them all he didn’t know how long he would be gone for. Regardless, Fukuzawa was standing in front of him, watching him with that look that told Ranpo he was analysing the situation and trying to figure out the best approach.

It made Ranpo nervous.

“May I sit?” Fukuzawa asked, gesturing towards the couch.

Ranpo nodded, swallowing as his words got stuck in his throat, and tucked himself into a ball so that Fukuzawa had room to sit down on the couch with him.

Fukuzawa sat, and turned so that he was facing Ranpo. His arms were hidden in his sleeves like they usually were, and his usually stoic face looked almost… soft. It was a look that Ranpo hadn’t seen since the Agency grew so large, and it made Ranpo want to spill everything, just like he used to do when he was fourteen and lost in a world he didn’t understand. Fukuzawa remained silent for a moment longer before he spoke. “How are you?”

“Better.” Ranpo rested his head on his knees. “I’ve done nothing but eat and sleep since I’ve been here.” He paused for a moment and admitted quietly. “Poe-kun’s been good to me.”

“That’s good.” Fukuzawa gave a small smile that faded just as fast as it appeared. “What happened?”

Ranpo frowned. “You weren’t told?”

“Kunikida contacted me and said that you’d become unwell suddenly, and that you were taking a leave of absence to recover. It wasn’t until I received a message from Poe-san yesterday that I realised I was missing something. So I politely cut my trip short and came here to see how you were doing and find out what had happened.”

“What did Poe-kun tell you?” Ranpo asked, hesitating because while he could deduce most things, deducing his rival’s texts was an impossible feat; he was just unpredictable in that sense. So he was a little worried as to what the author had told Fukuzawa.

Fukuzawa pulled out his own phone, no doubt finding the messages to recall them. “He said he was sorry to disturb my work, but that he wanted to give me an update on your condition. He mentioned that you’d finally eaten a proper meal, which was when I realized that something was off.”

“Just because he mentioned food?”

Ranpo found himself being thrown a look of disbelief. “Ranpo, I’ve known you for almost thirteen years now. When you stop eating, I know it’s something serious.” Fukuzawa paused and closed his eyes for a moment, taking a breath before he opened them again. “I know things have been hard recently, and that you might find it hard to open up to Kunikida and the others about what happened and what you went through, so if you want, you can talk to me.”

“You’re still grieving.” Ranpo tried to argue. Tried being the key word, because Fukuzawa just raised an eyebrow at him.

“I can still grieve and take care of my employees.” Fukuzawa said, taking a moment to close his eyes before he opened them again. “I have all the time in the world to grieve over Genichiro, but I only have a limited amount of time before I find myself grieving you as well, Ranpo. And that is something I don’t wish to do.”

Carefully, Ranpo observed Fukuzawa and looked at the bags under his eyes that came from long meetings with the government and the grief of losing his childhood friend, the way he still held himself tall despite the exhaustion that weighed him down, and the way that despite all that, he still managed to look concerned for Ranpo. It made Ranpo want to curl up and cry, but he’d already done that plenty, so he squeezed his eyes shut and just breathed. “I’m just tired.”

“Of what?”

“Of being the pillar.” He didn’t say more than that, because he didn’t need to. Fukuzawa had known him long enough to know exactly what he meant, to know the weight of the words as he said them, because it was no secret that despite his childish nature, that Ranpo did enjoy his job. Sure, the case had to be interesting enough for him, or his co-workers sometimes had to beg him to take on cases that they could do themselves if they really tried, but he did enjoy solving cases. So for him to say that he was tired of it… well it was no wonder the Agency had panicked when he’d broken down.

But Fukuzawa was not like the others, he could read between the lines, and use the prior knowledge he had to formulate the correct response. It was just something that Fukuzawa had gotten good at over the years of deciphering Ranpo’s emotional state. “Do you wish to leave the Agency for a while?”

“Isn’t that what I’m already doing?”

Fukuzawa shook his head. “Right now, you are on a leave of absence. What I mean is that—”

“Boring.” Ranpo interrupted, pointing a finger in Fukuzawa’s direction. “You shouldn’t say stupid things, Fukuzawa-san, or people will start to think you’re losing it. I don’t want to leave the Agency. I’ll just stay on this leave of absence thing for a while and come back to work once I’m better.”

“If that’s the case, then you’ll need medical clearance to come back to work.”

What? Ranpo blinked, and then said it aloud. “What?”

“Medical clearance. And no, before you ask, Yosano cannot give you clearance.”

Ranpo knew immediately what Fukuzawa was getting at and huffed his annoyance. “You want me to go to therapy.”

“I do.” Fukuzawa nodded. “It’ll help.”

“I don’t know any therapists.”

“I think you’ll find that if you ask Poe-san, he’ll be able to help you out in that regard.”

Ranpo glared even though he knew it would do nothing but make Fukuzawa amused, and sure enough, the man raised a hand to hide his smile. “Can I at least do some work? I don’t want to spend my days watching soap operas.”

Fukuzawa’s smile grew just a little at his words. “I’ll ask the police to send you some cold cases. But you’ll have to wait until you return to work before you can work on active cases.”

“Ugh, fine.” Ranpo threw himself against the back of the couch, and stared at the ceiling for a moment. He could make do with some cold cases for now; it’d been a while since he’d worked on them, and it could be a fun bonding activity for him and Poe to take part in. Speaking of Poe… “Poe-kun’s making some American dish for dinner. You can stay if you’d like.”

The look Fukuzawa gave him was one of fondness, and the man nodded. “That would be nice. Will you talk to me if I do?”

“Maybe, if you don’t get pushy about it.”

“I think I can do that.”

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd fanfic #edogawa ranpo #armed detective agency #edgar allan poe #fukuzawa yukichi #hurt/comfort #angst #comfort #mental breakdown #writing #fanfic

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a-clowns-words · 3 years

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BNHA Shitty Cw Series AU

created by @d-ecchan & @bkdkmwnl

CHARACTERS

Aoyama Yuuga: Yohan André Ashido Mina: Mina Abara Asui Tsuyu: Teddie An Iida Tenya: Trey Ingram Uraraka Ochako: Olivia Ulrich Ojiro Mashirao: Mason Osborne Kaminari Denki: Devin Kay Kirishima Eijirou: Ethan Kingston Koda Koji: Koby Knight Sato Rikidou: Ricky Samuels Shoji Mezo: Mori Sakamoto Jirou Kyouka: Kelly Jensen (KJ for short) Sero Hanta: Hector Serrano Tokoyami Fumikage: Felix Thompson Todoroki Shoto: Sean Thorne Hagakure Tooru: Taylor Haber Bakugou Katsuki: Kyle Baker Midoriya Izuku: Ian Matthews Shinsou Hitoshi: Hunter Adams (see families for explanation) Yaoyorozu Momo: Monica Young

Shigaraki Tomura: Tommy Steavens Toga Himiko: Hannah Turner Todoroki Touya: Todd Thorne Bubaigawara Jin: Jake brown Iguchi Shuichi: Sebastian Irving Hikiishi Kenji/Magne: Madison Hamilton Shirakumo Oboro/Kurogiri: Oliver Steavens

Aizawa Shouta: Samson Adams Yamada Hizashi/Mic: Michael Adams (changed for obvious reasons) Eri: Evelyn Adams Yagi Toshinori: Trevor York Midoriya Inko: Isabelle Matthews / York (in season 3) Todoroki Enji: Edward Thorne Todoroki Natsuo: Noah Thorne Todoroki Fuyumi: Felice Thorne

It’s important to note that in season one, Todd, Jake, Sebastian, and Maddison are in junior year in this AU and they’re all around the same age. Tommy and Noah are in sophomore year All the class A kids + Hannah are in freshman year

FAMILIES

The Matthews / Yorks: Isabelle and Ian Matthews are mother and son, Ian’s father left when he was a child. In season 2 Isabelle started dating Ian’s art teacher (Trevor York) which Ian was very divided over for a while, on one hand he admired and loved his teacher since he aspired to be a cartoonist, on the other hand it was awkward af. Regardless, in season 3 when Ian went into junior year, the two got married

The Adams: Samson and Michael are a gay couple that met at the high school they worked at, they married soon after and adopted a kid (Evelyn.) though, around when a new year was starting, they started fostering a 14 year old boy (Hunter) who would be going into freshman year at that same high school. Of course in around the end of season two they had to make a difficult decision of whether to adopt hunter or not, they ended up doing it at the beginning of season 3.

The Thornes: Oh boy, where do I start- Edward has three sons and a daughter. All of his sons are still in high school in season one; Sean in freshman, Noah in sophomore, Todd in junior. His daughter (Felice) is in college trying to get a degree in education, so we don’t see much of her. Edward's wife is in a mental hospital after multiple manic breakdowns when their kids were little, due to her corrupted mental heath probably mainly caused by Edward abusing her for over 10 years. They’re one of the richest families in the city/state due to Edward’s major companies and investments.

The Stevens: Oliver owns a bar, he’s seen it all, heard it all, and is so done with it all. When he had just opened said bar, he was a really friendly guy so almost everyone liked him. A year or so later someone apparently like him so much they let an unwanted baby literally in front of the bar with a note. And him being the sympathetic person he was, basically took in the kid, though he wasn’t the best at getting through to him. Tommy usually spent his days locked up in his room and playing video games, occasionally even trying to draw though he was terrible at it which lowered his self confidence even more.

Those are the major ones I’ll go over any other important ones on the way.

CLIQUES / FRIEND GROUPS

Jocks: Kyle Baker Ethan Kingston Devin Kay Hector Serrano Mina Abara

Cheerleaders: Olivia Ulrich Yohan André Taylor Haber Monica Young

Weird kids: Kelly Jensen Felix Thompson Hunter Adams Hannah Turner

Quiet kids: Koby Knight Ricky Samuels Mori Sakamoto

‘Bad kids’: Tommy Steavens Todd Thorne Jake brown Sebastian Irving Madison Hamilton

Artsy kids / nerds: Ian Matthews Sean Thorne Teddie An Trey Ingram (Later somewhat joined by Olivia Ulrich)

CLICHÉ RELATIONSHIPS BUT SOME ARE GAY

Kyle x Ian (BkDk) Jock x Nerd Main relationship, they get together and break up like 4 times but are back together at the end of the last season.

Hannah x Olivia (TogaChako) Horse girl x Popular cheerleader Secondary main relationship that pops up around season 3-ish when Olivia finally backs off of Kyle and starts having a sexuality crisis when she meets Hannah

Tommy x Todd (ShigaDabi) Gamer boy x Bad boy This relationship was pretty heavily implied ever since the characters were introduced and only confirmed, as something that had been going on for a while, in season 2 right before Todd graduated.

Sean x Monica (TodoMomo) Rich boy x Rich girl Relationship that started in season 2, mostly because both their families own major companies and they were pressured into being with each other. It lasted until season five but halfway through they started faking their relationship due to Monica figuring out she had feelings for someone else and Sean figuring out he was asexual and romantic.

Monica x KJ (MomoJirou) Rich girl x Punk KJ always had feelings for Monica and helped her accept herself in the middle of season 3 which was around when Monica figured out she had feelings for her back. This is what caused her and Sean to decide to start ‘fake dating’ because of their parents. It was mostly for Sean’s sake, though Monica wasn’t exactly keen on coming out to her parents either. The two also started secretly dating, the four keeping up the act until they went off to college.

Ethan x Mina (KiriMina) Jock x Dancer Started at the end of season 1 and went strong throughout the series (with a couple rough patches)

Hunter x Devin (ShinKami) Alt kid x Jock Casual relationship that started somewhere around season 2 or 3. Not a lot of people know and they just keep it pretty quiet for a while until season 4 when they make it more official.

Trevor x Isabelle (Toshinko) Kid’s teacher x Kid’s mom In season 2 Isabelle started dating Ian’s art teacher, Trevor York, which Ian was very divided over for a while. Later, in season 3, the two got married.

OVERALL SHIT PLOT

Ian wants to be a comic artist and he always doodles in his notebook, he’s been trying to get things published since forever. Eventually, he gets recruited to make a short daily comic strip for their high school news paper, and he gets a lot more attention than he used to plus some art friends.

The main relationship the series focuses on is that of Ian and Kyle. They’ve known each other since childhood and around middle school Kyle distanced himself from Ian and would make-fun of him a lot, nothing too bad but some standard jerk-like behavior. Lately though, Kyle’s shifted more to stopping Ian in his path just to flirt with him, in his own way of course. Which still involved a lot of teasing and annoying, getting all up in his face just so he could see Ian turn red.

GONNA CONTINUE ADDING ONTO THIS WITH SEASON OUTLINES BUT THAT’S ALL FOR NOW

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secretshinigami · 3 years

Text

Late Night Show

Title: Late Night Show Author: @complicatedmerary For: @fogspecs Pairings/Characters: Misa/Takada tease, Kiyomi Takada, Misa Amane, Hitoshi Demegawa (cameo), Light Yagami (mentioned only) Rating/Warnings: Teen and Up, alcohol mention, Demegawa being a gross boss, tabloid gossip nonsense, mean girl behavior, mild language, mild violence Prompt: Misa and Takada have romantic tension between them. Author’s notes: Misa and Takada, you say? Don’t mind if I do! As I was drafting ideas for the offered prompts, it occurred to me that the only time Misa and Takada met in canon was when Misa had no memories of being Kira. If we are being honest, that was a missed opportunity. Then, I thought, what if Misa has her memories intact, but Takada is not Kira’s spokeswoman? How will their dynamic change? Hope you enjoy!

______________________________________

“I’m telling you, Miss Takada, with your great assets and even greater personality, you will have my audience eating at the palm of our hands. My show has been craving a female perspective on scandalous gossip, you have no idea how much hate mail I receive for being unfair to these airheaded celebrities. If we get this right, no one will ever accuse me of having no substance, we are respectable journalists, dammit!”

Kiyomi Takada had barely started her first day of work and she already regretted every second of it. Truth be told, it was not a regular job, it was a weird hybrid of an internship that she had to fight to be eligible for credit and an arduous job that guaranteed humiliating tasks and low pay. The real reward is experience, she kept telling herself over and over as she reluctantly took this opportunity after being rejected by reputable news network stations. She had the nagging suspicion that Hitoshi Demegawa only chose her based on her looks rather than her impeccable academic record, but at this point it was too late to challenge this. No, she had to swallow her pride if she wanted to prove herself to be worthy of broadcasting intellectual journalism in the next few years.

“Hey, hey, what’s with the gloomy face?” Demegawa snapped his fingers close to Takada’s nose, startling her. “Celebrity gossip is supposed to be fun! Well, unless I report the usual actor breakdown, but that’s just show business, no one is truly getting hurt anyway.” He chuckled, holding himself by his belly.

Takada barely flinched.

“Come on, I’m just joking, don’t be so serious. We have something juicy coming up in thirty minutes and I need you to familiarize yourself with the news that has happened this morning.” Demegawa stopped speaking, gave Takada a nefarious grin, then patted her cheek as if she were a kid. “How about smiling for once? You will fit right in when people don’t see you as an ice queen.” He turned to the side and snapped his fingers repeatedly. “Everyone should be getting their makeup done, don’t you dare step out if your face is a mess!”

She took note of scrubbing her cheek raw until there was no trace of his dirty hand.

~~~

Takada looked over her script as her makeup artist fluffed some blush across her cheekbones. She wasn’t the type to focus on such frivolous things, but if she had to play the role of the tabloid host darling, she will gladly do so to keep Demegawa satisfied. Her credit and career depended on it.

She flipped the page with a lack of interest; Hideki Ryuga was out of the country for the third time this month? It wouldn’t surprise her if he ended up caught in a money laundering scheme, he seemed to be just that dumb. Next up, was A-list actress, Suki Aragaki, marrying his longtime beau, movie director, Kenji Ozu, after enduring a nasty love triangle that ended Ozu’s decade-long marriage. Congratulations, I guess, Kiyomi snorted, rolling her eyes at the absurdity.

She continued flipping until a familiar name made her stop on her tracks. Misa Amane. Without realizing it, her knuckles turned white as she gripped the script, and her jaw clenched painfully.

“Are you alright, Miss Takada?” The makeup artist placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Of course,” Takada let out a deep breath as her anger simmered down. “I’m just nervous, that’s all.”

The makeup artist nodded. “I understand. Don’t let Demegawa intimidate you, he is quite sweet once you get to know him.”

That was doubtful, but she was not about to argue, her attention was somewhere else. Misa Amane. The same silly model who appeared on campus and snatched Light Yagami away from her. To make matters worse, Amane randomly texted her out of nowhere months ago to let her and all of Light’s “other girls” know (which came as a disturbing revelation to her) that Light asked her to move in together and to back off. Why did Light love such an insecure, clingy woman? What could they possibly have in common besides good looks? And her classmates dared to call her superficial, how laughable.

As she kept reading the script, the gloom evaporated like a burst bubble. Misa Amane has been caught buying a pregnancy test despite declaring over the weekend at the premiere of her latest movie that she and her private boyfriend were waiting till marriage. Are we expecting wedding bells for the lovely couple, or did they marry in secret already to avoid the ire of her rabid fanboys? Unless there is something more sinister going on and her boyfriend is not the father of that baby. Perhaps that’s why Hideki Ryuga is out of the country, he is running away from his duty as a father! Those two have been fighting the persistent rumors of romance on set and that might settle it once and for all. Whoever the baby’s father is, congratulations to Misa Amane and her bundle of joy. We can’t wait to have more single mothers in the entertainment industry, such an underrepresented group in our society!

Takada tried to stifle her giggles between her fingers, but her amusement couldn’t be contained. For once Demegawa’s brutal commentary came in handy, there was no way Misa Amane could recover from this scandal. If there was anything juicier than an affair, it was a pregnancy resulting from the affair!

Oh, tonight’s show was going to be so much fun.

~~~

“It just does not make any sense, Miss Takada,” Teppei, her co-host, shook his head. “How can this movie be such a critical success when every review I have seen declared it the worst movie of the year even though we are halfway there? Who is bribing the industry to keep promoting it on television when no one wanted this movie to be made in the first place? It is a conspiracy; I am so sure of it.”

Takada pretended to act interested in the topic and simply smiled widely. She barely met Teppei today and she finally had the confirmation that she was dreading: He was a certified spoiled brat who assumed himself to be the greatest thing that has ever happened to comedy. The son of a politician, he got far enough to step into movies and television because his father left him a bottomless pit of money. He wasn’t good looking, so he relied on his short stature and misogynistic jokes to compensate for the lack of attention he never received in the spotlight. It worked perfectly enough to be perceived as harmless and now he got to hang out with late night show comedians and tour around the country. Takada wondered for how long mediocrity was going to be standard. If he were someone else, Demegawa would have no doubt chewed him out, but money and publicity ruled in his greedy heart.

“The real conspiracy is,” Takada pointed at the screen, a photo of Hideki Ryuga and Misa Amane on set, holding hands. “What is up with these two? They keep stating over and over that there is no romance, but I have yet to see her publicly with her supposed boyfriend. What exactly is she hiding?” The next slide showed a paparazzi shot of Misa Amane allegedly going to the pharmacy for a pregnancy test.

The audience gasped loudly, as expected, thanks to the teleprompter.

“Woah,” Teppei spun around dramatically. “Didn’t she say she was waiting till marriage?”

“It makes you wonder why Hideki Ryuga is out of the country for the third time this week,” Takada gasped. “What are the odds that he found out about her pregnancy and is panicking about the possibility of being a father?”

“If that’s not the case, then she married her boyfriend in secret to keep up with her indiscretion and avoid the ire of her fans.” Teppei covered his mouth and giggled like a schoolboy. “Sucks for him because if they were supposed to be celibate, then that’s Ryuga’s baby! Man, things are not going well for Misa Amane!”

“Congratulations to Misa Amane and her bundle of joy,” Takada recited the script with unnecessary enthusiasm. “We can’t wait to have more single mothers in the entertainment industry, such an underrepresented group in our society!”

The phone rang on the set, which meant that a fan of the show had the opportunity to give their perspective on the topic. This was Demegawa’s idea to encourage “respectful dialogue” on live television, but Takada knew better: It was to enforce the trashiness of the show with inflammatory controversy, and there was no doubt one of Misa’s fanboys was calling to defend her “honor and dignity.”

Yeah, you cannot defend something that never existed, Takada thought bitterly.

“Looks like we struck a nerve,” She hummed and picked up the phone, setting it to onset speaker. “Yes, how can we help you?”

“YOU DISGUSTING, UGLY BITCH!” A shrill voice echoed around the studio, creating some feedback on the boom microphones. “I ought to sue every single of you for defamation of character! I would never cheat on my boyfriend, especially not with Hideki Ryuga! You are all sick in the head for lying this bad!”

Takada couldn’t help the grin that was plastered on her face … No one could mistake that voice to someone else. So, Misa Amane was the type of celebrity who watched gossip shows to hear if she was relevant? This was just too hilarious and unsurprising for her.

“Sorry, Miss Amane, we are just reporting the news,” she said coolly. “We are not fond of frivolous lawsuits, so I ask you to respect the press.”

“YOU ARE NOT REPORTING ‘NEWS’, YOU ARE SPREADING GARBAGE!” There was a brief silence on the other line, and then the sound of chugging down a liquid echoed on the speaker. “You are just jealous that I’m in a committed relationship and you are stuck with your misery,” Misa’s words were slurred. “How about spreading some good news? Whatever happened to being kind?”

“With all due respect, Miss Amane,” Teppei had a smug grin on his face. “You are in the entertainment industry; we don’t owe you kindness. If you can’t handle criticism, maybe being a celebrity is not the job for you.”

Takada covered her mouth, hiding the twitch on her lips that she couldn’t contain any longer. Was this truly the end for Misa Amane? No one seemed to be on Misa’s side, and she was humiliating herself on live television. Things were finally looking up for her.

“Oh, shut up, Teppei, no one likes you, you are only relevant because of your daddy,” Misa shot back. “And as for you, Kiyomi Takada, my boyfriend will never be with you, he prefers me, he said so himself, so knock it off.”

The bombshell caused a murmur amongst the audience and Takada stiffened on the spot. No, she was not going to let Misa Amane win this fight, not now, not ever.

“Wow, Miss Amane, are you having a mental breakdown?” She chuckled. “Jealousy is not part of a healthy relationship, it’s not good that you are projecting your insecurities on me. We don’t even know each other.”

“That’s it! I’m going down to Sakura TV, find you, and kick your butt! You’ll be sorry for messing with me—”

“Like that’s ever going to happen.” And with that, she slammed the phone and there was nothing but the dial and laughter from the audience.

She wondered if she ruined her chances of ever being taken seriously, but one glance at Demegawa’s blissful face told her everything she needed to know: This episode was one for the books.

~~~

It was close to midnight when the show finally ended, and Takada stayed overtime to talk to Demegawa about the possibility of hosting the show by herself. He said he would think about it, but he couldn’t guarantee anything despite the reception. That was good enough for her. For now.

As she approached the parking lot, she heard footsteps to her left, but there were so light that for a second, she thought she imagined it in her head. She was tired and it had been a long and overexciting night, she couldn’t wait to go home and sleep on her bed.

“There you are!”

Takada turned around and she couldn’t believe what she saw: Staring at her with malice was Misa Amane, standing up straight with her legs apart, and clenched fists.

“I told you I was going to find you and kick your butt! Now, don’t you dare move!” Misa sprinted forward with so much velocity on her direction, her gaze still focused.

Takada panicked for a few moments, darting her head back and forth, looking for a way out. Instinctively, she raised her arms across her face to defend it and swung her leg on any direction her adrenaline asked her to do, her eyes closed.

It all happened so fast: As Misa aimed to kick Takada on the shin, she tripped on Takada’s swinging foot, and she landed on the concrete, stomach down.

Takada opened her eyes when she heard the agonizing whines below her and gasped at the sight of Misa laying flatly in the middle of the parking lot. Oh, God, I didn’t hurt her that bad, did I?

“Are you alright?” She felt pathetic; of course, she was not alright, she just tripped her with her foot, what a terrible question!

“Here, let me help you—”

“Don’t touch me!” Misa shrugged her off as she managed to stand on her own. Well, just barely, she couldn’t maintain her balance as she tried to step away towards the street.

Despite hating that woman with a burning intensity, she was not going to let Misa walk by herself with injuries all over her, especially in such a shady area. No, if she drove away and Misa ended up missing (or worse, dead) because she was alone, she could no longer call herself a virtuous person.

“You are not going anywhere. Come on, I need to take you home.” Takada dragged Misa roughly by the arm towards her car.

“Let me go!” Misa tried to resist her, but her balance betrayed her. “I’m not going to tell you where I live, you are going to stalk Light if you know!”

God, would she stop being so freaking loud?

“Either you tell me where you live, or you have no choice but to spend the night in this parking lot,” She pushed Misa inside the car and dropped her legs on the passenger seat. She then held her arms as she put the seatbelt over her body.

“I don’t have time for this, you are a grown woman, act like it—” She caught a whiff of cheap wine on Misa’s breath. “Ugh, so you are drunk. That’s it, I’m going to drive all around the city until you tell me where I should drop you. I’m not stopping until you get over yourself.”

~~~

The drive did go longer than expected; it was one in the morning and Misa refused to speak one word to her. Two could play the game, Takada did not say one word either. The only sound filling out the silence was the pop radio station playing the same song for the third time. At this point, she wondered if she will ever get peace for at least trying to help another woman out.

“I did mean what I said on the phone,” Misa murmured quietly. “Light does not want you, he never did.”

Why was she bringing that up now? Why did it matter after she ignored her this time entire time?

“I don’t care,” Takada rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to do this, you have him, why isn’t that enough for you?”

“It’s easy for you to say,” Misa snorted. “He dumps you and you act like it never happened. If Light were to dump me, I don’t think I would want to continue living.”

Good lord, this woman is insane.

“You want to know what the worst part is?” Tears suddenly rolled down her eyes. “The reason why I don’t want you to drop me to my apartment is because you will not find him there. He has been acting so weird since—” She shook her head. “No, he is a man, this is a man thing. It’s normal for your boyfriend to not spend every night together, right?”

Takada really wanted to say, no, it was not normal, but she didn’t know what she could possibly say that could make this situation better. She didn’t ask for this personal information, this was none of her business. And yet, why did she want to hear more about Light’s inability to keep his own girlfriend happy? What the hell was wrong with him?

“I’m not pregnant, you know,” Misa whispered, and Takada’s glanced at her, confused. “We have tried—Well, I tried my best to let that happen. I’ve been so hopeful that maybe if we have a baby together, we will be bonded for life. That, maybe, just maybe, he would look at me differently. Yes, I did buy that pregnancy test, and yes, the photos are real, but I’m not pregnant. Are you happy now? You got your little revenge by making fun of me, now I’m asking the media to do the same.”

It was hard to swallow, her throat was so dry. She couldn’t believe this, but she felt guilt. Guilt for even entertaining the idea of messing up someone’s life in such a public manner. Guilt for doing that in the first place for the sake of ratings!

Sorry was not going to be enough, she wasn’t even sure what was she apologizing for. Sorry I tripped you with my foot? Sorry I bullied you so badly that you had to get drunk to deal with the pain on live television? Sorry Light Yagami is not a perfect man? She felt nothing, anything that she could possibly say was going to be in vain if she didn’t mean it.

She suddenly stopped her car and parked on the side of the road. She turned off the radio and breathed out slowly, attempting to calm herself. Screw this, she had to do the right for once.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea that you are left drunk in your apartment.”

“What?” Misa’s eyes widened.

“If Light is not there to keep an eye on you, then—”

“What are you trying to say?” Misa was instantly furious. “I can take care of myself, I’m not a child. When Light comes back in the morning, he won’t even notice I was drunk, it’s like it never happened, we are back to being a normal couple. If you are suggesting that I would do something drastic … I’m not stupid! What do you take me for?”

“Please listen to me,” Takada pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed in and out slowly again. “I’m not saying you are stupid; I’m just trying to say that you are not in control of your emotions, and I don’t trust you to be by yourself for now.”

“I am in control of my emotions.”

“You literally cried to me that Light is not spending every night with you.”

Misa kept her mouth shut.

“All I’m saying is that I need to keep an eye you.” She regretted the words once they left her lips. Was it the guilt talking? Was she considering taking care of Misa until she got over her drunkenness? What the hell was going on here?

“I know what to do now,” She restarted the engine and shifted to drive.

“Where are we going?” Misa asked with suspicion.

“I’m taking you to my apartment and give you the chance to rest there.”

“YAY!” Misa hugged her suddenly and kissed her cheek, almost causing Takada to let go of the steering wheel. “We are going to have a girls’ night, we could stay up all night, tell each other stories—”

“Not happening,” She cut her off, but she smiled despite herself.

Misa giggled. “You know, your numbers just switched, it’s like they moved up.”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing that you should ever worry about.” She said in a sing-song voice.

Takada rolled her eyes. It was going to be a longer night than anticipated.

#fanfiction #death note #submission #misa amane #kiyomi takada #hitoshi demegawa #complicatedmerary #fogspecs #Near's Bday Finale 2k21 #ratings: teen

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mitigatedchaos · 3 years

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Review: SAC_2045

(~3,700 words, 15 minutes)

This post will contain some minor spoilers for SAC_2045.

Summary: You may have thought SAC_2045 was a poor entry in the Ghost in the Shell franchise - actually, it's just intended for younger audiences.

Previously: Standalone Complex 202045:1-4 (superseded)

-☆☆☆-

And what did you think of the remaining episodes of GitS:SAC_2045?

[ @irradiate-space ]

Standalone Complex

There's a certain indescribable feeling associated with Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex as a work, an artistic touch related to the director associated with it, independent of other considerations. SAC_2045 has it, which isn't too surprising since Kenji Kamiyama is back.

SAC_2045 is Standalone Complex. For a brief moment, while watching it, I inhabited my pre-2016 personality and outlook. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Since the arrival of streaming I've tended to bingewatch series, but on the first run-through I decided not to bingewatch this one.

If you approach this show as season 4 of Standalone Complex (Solid State Society being season 3), it's underwhelming. Now, viewing it again, it's become obvious that a conventional season 4 of Standalone Complex was never the intent of SAC_2045 to begin with.

For those of you who have delayed until now, the English dub has been uploaded - it released without one due to the pandemic. They bring back a number of the voice actors from the excellent Standalone Complex dub, though having already watched it with subtitles, I didn't feel the need to confirm the dub's quality.

Sustainable War

To properly describe a new theory of war is the same thing as to invent it. While the idea of war as a for-profit industry has been kicked around for some time, it's generally assumed that this is a kind of parasitic relationship on the part of the war-making industry.

As time goes on, warfare becomes more abstract (partly because warfare happens where it can happen), much like society itself is becoming more abstract as information moves more quickly and humanity gains access to more energy.[1] In SAC_2045, "Sustainable War" is part of the context of the world and its current issues, but we aren't really told how it works - if it's similar to contemporary information warfare and a blurring of the lines between state and non-state actors, it's bound to be quite confusing.

I believe my earlier assessment of "Sustainable War" is correct. The key feature of sustainable war, the reason they say it's safe if you leave it to the experts, is likely that it involves AIs constantly forecasting against each other and moving units around with few direct confrontations. The goal would be to lock in a victory without having to fire a shot, except for small skirmishes that don't escalate to major incidents (due to the AI forecasting).

The presence of armed separatist movements even in Japan may also indicate that the ruling institutional bodies are engaged in a kind of Post-International Politics,[2] which treats all international relations as fundamentally existing between subnational entities - however, I believe that later information suggests this wasn't their original intent.

What makes it "sustainable"? Since if done correctly, very little is actually physically destroyed, the cost is less than conventional warfare, and thus the war can continue indefinitely. Why does it threaten humanity with destruction? Because there's an awful lot of military hardware waiting for someone to actually pull the trigger.

Season 1: Ep. 2

So what is the intent of the series' creators? I think they may be telling us through this dialogue between Togusa and Section Chief Daisuke Aramaki in episode 2.

Aramaki: Seems time has toughened you up. Togusa: Is that supposed to be a compliment? Aramaki: It is if you want it to be. Togusa: Then thanks for the kind words. “I made the right decision by choosing this line of work over my marriage.” That’s what you’re saying? Aramaki: Perhaps. [...] Togusa: They're bringing back Section 9? [...] Aramaki: But my takeaway from the proposal is this: The PM's reason for the urgent reforming of Section 9 takes priority over his personal motives. I believe his true objective is meeting the Americans' demands for the dispatch of special resources. Togusa: So it's as the Liberals feared? An American-born Prime Minister would be no more than an American puppet? Aramaki: I've yet to meet him in person, so I can't really say. But this is an opportunity to have the Major and the rest of you undertake a major operation for me once more. Togusa: What sort of op? Aramaki: Over the past few years, I have searched for an answer on how to deal with a society in turmoil. I'd like you people to lay the groundwork that will help the next generation find that answer. Togusa: I don't know what a man in my position can contribute, but I'll humbly offer whatever assistance I can.

Those of us who cried, Kamiyama, tell us the future once more! based on Standalone Complex's prophetic analysis of a memetic crime wave were bound to be disappointed. SAC_2045 is less rooted in the near future than in the now - cyberbullying, endless war amidst historic prosperity, employment suppressed by automation, savings eaten up by the complex machinations of finance, and a breakdown of national borders? That's today.

Those of us who hoped for a Ghost in the Shell: Unicorn, a psychically overpowering work that synthesizes the full body of Ghost in the Shell into a single coherent form to elevate us to a higher level of understanding, should have tempered our expectations. To reach each new philosophical level is more difficult than the last - to achieve that with Ghost in the Shell of all things would have required a multidisciplinary genius near the limits of current understanding.

Kenji Kamiyama is just an anime director. And anyhow, Gundam Unicorn was a book before it was an animated series. And who among us even knew we'd have to write a book before 2015? Ghost in the Shell was well-understood enough, so I instead wrote 25,000 words worth of hypothetical country and became a blogger, like the infamous Scott Alexander.[3]

If we approach SAC_2045 from the lens that it's a humbler work designed for younger audiences, however, some of the creative decisions make more sense.

Purin

Just how old is Purin, the MIT grad who joins the team later on? If I had to guess, that's '23歳' on that profile she provides, and Ishikawa notes that she 'skipped a few grades' on her way to a PhD. But she acts like someone a lot younger. She's enthusiastic and we're assured she's intelligent, but seems to be lacking social training. For example, she makes the mistake of assembling an era-accurate music player for Batou combined with a playlist after consulting the Tachikomas to find out what he listens to. There are two ways to take this.

The first is that she's intended as a relateable character for someone who would make this class of mistake. It's the sort of mistake I might have made at age 13-14, meaning that the show would probably be aimed at someone that age or lower. Overly enthusiastic, doesn't understand romantic relationships, impulsive, poor reading of boundaries / poor modelling of others outside of certain domains, impulsive in a way that causes social screw-ups? Yeah that could certainly apply to an ADHD kid of about that age.

And all of a sudden the tone of the first five episodes with the gun-fighting, the literal Agent Smith, the decision to place the focus in America, and even the mystery of the series being much simpler than Standalone Complex 2nd Gig's plot regarding Asian refugees in Japan make a lot more sense. This is Ghost in the Shell for kids!

Wow, I didn't think that could be done!

...is what I should say, except that around the time I acquired the ability to futurist shitpost, and I used that ability to predict that it would.

Purin II

The second reading is that the youth of the future are fucked up. She probably has some tricked out modifications, both cybernetic and genetic. Now usually you would tell someone to try to become a well-rounded human being. But...

The global economy has crashed. Batou mistakes her for a robot - creatures that look like pretty young women are a dime a dozen. In the dating market, she would be competing with full sensory immersion VR pornography on the one hand, and at the upper end of society where cybernetics are more widely available, likely women with a similar appearance but decades more experience and professional standing.

Note that in the original Standalone Complex, the team take down an 80-year-old Russian spy with the full prosthetic body of a 20-year-old. Full cyborgs aren't common then, nor are they in SAC_2045 (though cyberbrains are ubiquitous), but if the economy recovers that may change, and the sector she's trying to get in to (full-time salaried government rather than marginal private employment it would seem) is going to be very tough to enter either way.

So Purin may have to be over-optimized even to just appear on the screen. In fact, she says,

"Just so I could work at Section 9, I moved most of my sentimental memories to external storage."

Youch! It's no wonder she's socially maladjusted. Just how much of her social learning (in particular key events necessary to rebuild logical inferences on the boundaries of behavior on the fly) has she locked away?

Purin III

But you know who Purin looks like? Notorious internet personality, Gamer Girl Bath Water seller, and IRL video game character Belle Delphine.[4]

Or rather, it's the other way around - 2D animation compresses real detail into suggestive abstraction, letting your mind fill in the rest. Going from those impossible 2D shapes to 3 dimensions creates strange results, like training your machine learning algorithm on the salient features of a cat's face, applying it to human shape, and putting pink hair on the result. Belle Delphine adopts that otherworldly kind of appearance as part of her act.

Technically, this a stylistic choice. Within the framework of SAC_2045, this is what "a 23-year-old female" looks like.

Purin is in fact so non-threatening that her big red coat obscures her figure. I'm gonna go with younger audience. Now if only I could remember what pronoun she uses.[5/☆]

Motoko

With a full prosthetic body, outward signs of human-like aging are almost an artistic expression, much like in a world with cheap tissue engineering, visible scars are a choice.

When she was first introduced in the original Ghost in the Shell manga, we don't know how old Motoko Kusanagi is. It was once said that her name is analogous to "Jane Excalibur," which in English would be an obvious alias. In the first movie (from 1995), she's cool, almost cold and robotic.

In the original Standalone Complex, Motoko has a more mature personality than in the manga, but she has a clearly adult look by the standards of anime. Seriously, check out this fantastic character design (combat suit), although admittedly the better-known "leather jacket and bathing suit" design is more ridiculous, fashion-wise.[6] (Fortunately, she gets pants in her much more stylish second season outfit.)

ARISE starts off with a young Motoko Kusanagi in a chaotic post-war period before the Section 9 we know was assembled. This shows in her character design, but it really shows in her personality. This was actually why I had joked about an even earlier Ghost in the Shell.

There is a sense in which the 2017 live-action movie's Motoko is even younger. Scarlett Johansson is a killer cyborg with amnesia. She doesn't even have one day of formal combat training.

Motoko 2045

Ilya Kuvshinov designed SAC_2045's Motoko Kusanagi.

Yes, that Ilya Kuvshinov. You could be forgiven for thinking this is a teenager that hardboiled assassins Saitou and Ishikawa in the background have been hired to bodyguard.

Despite this, Atsuko Tanaka has resumed her role as Motoko's voice actress. Standalone Complex's Motoko looked 25 and felt mid-30s. SAC_2045's Motoko looks 16 and has the voice and attitude of 40.

This may make more sense than you might think.

Through Whose Eyes?

Throughout much of Ghost in the Shell as a franchise, Togusa, the only non-cyborg on the team, who is pulled from a police department instead of a military background, tends to be character used to help the people of our time relate to the future. He's the guy that doesn't know the things we also don't know, so in explaining concepts to Togusa they're explained to the audience.

In SAC_2045, most of the team are off doing cool cyborg things in America. Aramaki (whose in-world function is to create the bureaucratic environment within which Section 9 operates) tasks Togusa with finding them. The original Standalone Complex first aired in 2003. It's been 17 years since it was created - a similar situation to finding someone that reached adulthood who was born after 9/11. And during this time, Togusa's life has changed - the family man is now separated from his wife. And the world has changed - Togusa is now working for a private security firm. Togusa's role in the first five episodes isn't to guide the new viewers.

His purpose is to guide or stand-in for the old viewers.

The New Viewers

"Do you still hold a grudge against the Major and the others for leaving you behind?"

For the original viewers, SAC_2045 is your world, too. Togusa is there. Togusa is you.

The new viewers are Purin. Enthusiastic and smart but awkward and not confident in their skills. How could they measure up to these much more talented and experienced characters? (Also consider who is going to watch any sort of Ghost in the Shell - it's probably going to be a moderately bright and introverted kid, who is the kind of person that may be more comfortable socializing with people outside of their age band.)

But Motoko is visually separated from the rest of Section 9. Batou, Saitou, Ishikawa, Boma... they all have a much more adult look in keeping with their appearance in previous versions of Ghost in the Shell. What gives?

Batou is sort of a cool adult male figure - this is actually a pretty natural use of the character and his sense of humor as previously established in other Ghost in the Shell properties. We especially see this come through in 「PIE IN THE SKY - First Bank Robbery」 episode, with the old folks and the 21st century bank robbery.

Motoko's difference in appearance is because she's acting as a bridge between the two. The new viewer (as represented by Purin) is supposed to grow into being like Motoko as they gain confidence and experience. (The characters aren't each limited to a single role, of course.)

But SAC_2045 is still a work that's shared between two groups, similar to how the excellent Into the Spiderverse features both the teenage Miles Morales and an older Peter Parker that has lost his way, with the loss of the vibrant young adult Peter Parker being what starts the plot going.

The Last Quarter

With this framework, the rest of the work should express its nature as targeted at a younger audience itself. Watch the last few episodes through this lens and you'll see how much sense it makes. One takes place at a school. Even the bizarre 3D style that resembles recent video games makes more sense. If we take Togusa's earlier conversation with Aramaki as a discussion of SAC_2045 itself, later on there's even a sort of acknowledgement that Ghost in the Shell is a difficult work for someone of a young age.

So with that context in mind, does it work?

Standalone Complex

If I remember correctly, years ago, when I was perhaps 15 or 16, I was watching a tiny CRT television some time after midnight, and I saw the thirteenth episode of the original Standalone Complex - NOT EQUAL. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. I was immediately taken by it. And, from what I remember, I immediately understood it.

It was as though it were made just for me.[7]

To me, Ghost in the Shell is like a textbook. I thought that as a creator who has reached a place where I am able to be involved in that kind of work, I'm in a position where I have to convey its contents to a younger audience. Well, I knew it would be a lot of work, but I figured it would be my way of giving back to Ghost in the Shell. I thought that I needed to accept the baton and offer Ghost in the Shell to a young audience, to the same degree that Ghost in the Shell raised me to be who I am.

- Tow Ubukata, in a 2015 interview, regarding ARISE

For many people, Ghost in the Shell is a profound influence. I felt that it lifted me to a new level of understanding.

SAC_2045

But what about SAC_2045?

I can't view Ghost in the Shell with new eyes. When I first saw it, I wasn't the kind of person that casually memes futuristic ethical dilemmas as a means of practicing politics.

Compared to the anime I watched back when I was 13, would I have watched SAC_2045? Yes. Is it more philosophically and politically sophisticated? Yes. Would I have found it memorable? I think so.

Would a 13-year these days watch it? That's difficult to assess. I bet someone who does data science for Netflix could tell us, if they wanted. I'm sure Kenji Kamiyama and Shinji Aramaki are considering the same thing.

2017

How does it stack up compared to the rest of the franchise?

For most enthusiasts it's going to be one of the weaker entries, though it certainly does a better job explaining itself than ARISE.

Compare it to 2017's live action movie, however, and I think we'll find it isn't the weakest. The reason is that the writers of Ghost in the Shell (2017) decided to tell a story about bodily consent in which becoming a cyborg is a form of trauma. On some level this may have been a reasonable decision, but they didn't commit to the concept sufficiently fully to execute it well enough to carry the movie - and simultaneously, they dumbed down parts of the regular Ghost in the Shell material for American audiences. As a result the movie flopped both financially and artistically - except for the visuals.

In fact, I wrote a sequence of posts (1, 2, 3, 4) on how to rewrite the live action movie as an actual Ghost in the Shell property. I feel no need to do so for SAC_2045 - and I can't even think of what changes would need to be made.

I look forward to the second season.

-☆☆☆-

[1] It's short, but that's a concept in this post. "Advanced by Left-Wing theorists, Ninth Generation warfare sees all acts as existing on a spectrum of political violence. Most acts of ninth generation warfare consist of extreme pranks."

[2] If we accept the idea of "Fifth-Generation Warfare" as motivated by a desire to prevent the enemy from using their conventional military assets, then a corresponding theory of international politics would involve preventing enemy factions within foreign governments from taking control of those governments' institutions - effectively treating all countries as in continuous level of conflict analogous to a soft civil war.

[3] There is a kind of technique to this, but in my case I substituted ADHD for raw IQ and conscientiousness, which is part of why my posts are so much shorter than, for instance, Moldbug's. In any case, technically, Scott's blog posts on the matter amount to roughly a mere 11,600 words, and the book of the black forest amounts to approximately 26,000 words (which I'm told is entertaining reading), but I'm sure if we go looking we can find an additional 15,000 words worth of worldbuilding from a man known for writing 16,000 word blog posts.

[4] Would it be more of a legal liability to sell regular water with GGBW branding, or actual GGBW that could prove to be a potential health hazard?

[5/☆] There's some future strand lurking beneath the surface here that I can't quite put into words; a culturally divergent moe meltdown where an appearance this ridiculous becomes normalized among some sub-population. To quote the Funko Pop Hatred post,

There are questions about the anatomy of anime people and their internal organs, and particularly about what sort of impact-dampening alien meta-material their softer bits are made out of, but at least homo sapiens gokuensis looks like it’s a branch off a similar starting hominid! Whatever transhuman engineering company was responsible for manufacturing the creatures in the typical harem anime has some weird ideas about human beings, but we’re clearly in their ancient lineage somewhere.

Under Late Safetyism, everyone is a declawed catgirl.

Anyhow, I don't want to alarm you, but I can't guarantee that this won't be the future somewhere. Both Purin and Belle Delphine resemble Xiaoice, "The AI Girlfriend Seducing China's Lonely Men." (2020)

[6] Motoko's ridiculous outfits are a major flex on the non-cyborgs, who aren't indifferent to ambient temperature and whose natural bodies may have unflattering features. Similarly wild fashions can exist in places like Second Life, a 3D digital platform with mostly user-uploaded content. Presumably they're also a flex on every Japanese salaryman who still has to dress like a normal guy.

[7] "It's as though it were made just for me" is also how I feel about the original game Mirror's Edge. Its follow-up, Catalyst, is also a personal favorite of mine.

#miti does media #longpost #flagpost #ghost in the shell #sac_2045 #standalone complex #review

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uraharasandals · 4 years

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It may be surprising to y’all but I’m actually going to be in my last year of high school next year and university applications are in fact, a thing. Anyways, to all of you out there who need this like me, hang in there and let’s get through 2020 as well as we could :)

Also this turned out to be way longer than I thought it would be so I decided to divide it into organisations!

How BSD characters would help their S/O through college apps (Part 1) [ADA]

[Kunikida]

- This man is a sweetheart despite his short fuse towards Dazai. When he sees you freaking out in front of your computer, he quickly rushes to your side with a mug of chamomile tea (yes he has done his research; Kunikida knew which tea is the most calming and soothing). Once you manage to calm down and let him wipe away your tears of frustration (if you had any), he asks you what was wrong.

- Kunikida lets out a sigh of relief when he heard that it wasn’t something life-threatening. However, he still recognises that college applications are extremely important, so he resolves to help you as best as he could.

- Kunikida has been to university, so he knew that the process was quite difficult. However, when you list out your problems with a lot of terms and jargons that are specific to the college application system, his head went up in confusion.

- He quickly figured out the basics through Google though, and did research on a lot of applications that did get the applicant into the universities that you were looking at. After leaving him alone for five hours and stressing through it by yourself, he came back with a stack of information that would help you, and talked you through it slowly, making sure you understood all of it.

[Dazai]

- Dazai tries to cheer you up with jokes and his frolicking around, as well as snacks and maybe even something romantic. But when you start breaking down into tears of frustration, he starts to mildly panic. He asks if there was anything he could do to help and you really didn’t know.

- So he decided to look at what was scaring you so much. Dazai has to admit, he was a little surprised at how complex the entire thing was. But he manages to educate himself on it to try and help you for once (yes, Dazai can be helpful when he wants to be thank you very much)

- Once he’d checked you have calmed down, he presents you with a whole new host of options; do you want him to help you threaten or bribe your dream university so they would accept you? After your shock at his proposed solutions faded, he starts to offer actually useful advice.

- Dazai is a strategist and he knows it. So he laid out his plan to ‘conquer’ this complicated game of ‘entering university’ (because after all, it’s still a situation where brains would help; there were set rules and people had manoeuvred around it. He would simply do the same and play dirty). Amazingly, his plans were strategies that you had seen people talk about on Youtube -- and once again Dazai took the opportunity to brag about it and act cute around you.

[Atsushi]

- Atsushi isn’t sure how important university really was, but then he saw you having a breakdown in front of your computer and knew it was serious and competitive business. After panicking for about ten minutes, he calmed down enough to ask whether you were okay and whether you need anything.

- After getting you a glass of water, he tries to reason his way around it; after all, a lot of people had got through life without university, so it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Besides, you can always join the ADA! But when he saw it was going nowhere, he decided to call in the expert - Dazai.

- Dazai gave him shit advice as always, so he turned to Kunikida. Kunikida rambled on for quite a while, but he summarised it at the end by simply saying ‘Try to figure it out yourself before you can help her, brat.’

- So somehow he decides to try for university himself as well, despite not having had any qualifications before. Atsushi decided to try getting into a vocational training institute (where you learn practical skills rather than going for an academic/professional degree), and you ended up helping each other to your dream universities :)

[Yosano]

- Yosano-sensei is another one who doesn’t understand the need to go to university. She herself became a healer through her abilities (and her past which we won’t go into), so she thought that it was ridiculous you needed to go to medical school.

- But when she realises the gravity of the situation she immediately sobers up. While she knows that she can’t help on that end, she offers as much moral support as she could; ushering you to bed whenever she sees you staying up too late, making you meals or getting takeout whenever you want to stress eat, or comforting you. She was there for every step of the way, and available for hugs all the time.

- When you had to go for an interview, she made sure you were dressed properly for the occasion. Even if it was an online interview, there were no excuses; you absolutely cannot wear a formal shirt and shorts just because you were at home.

- Once you were done and finally finished with the applications, she drags you out on a shopping trip with her. It didn’t matter that there wasn’t anything you guys needed, she made up her mind that it was better for you to get out of the house and take in some fresh air. Besides, it was the better alternative to sitting in front of the computer and continuing to fret.

[Ranpo]

- The third one that doesn’t give a crap about university. He decided to pick a fight with you, stating out about 100 reasons why it was pointless to go and why you shouldn’t go because 1) it was useless and 2) he needs you by his side.

- He had meant to rile you up in a fight, but that just resulted in you being more stressed and attempting to push him away instead of seeking him for comfort. When you started giving him the cold shoulder (because you really needed to concentrate), Ranpo threw a fit and there was a cold war in the house for a few days.

- Eventually, he asked Kunikida about what was so important about university, and realised that it may actually mean a lot to you. But being Ranpo, his pride was still there and he didn’t want to apologize just yet. He decided, however, to be as helpful as he could be.

- And every time you sit in front of the computer, there was a different kind of sweet sitting there waiting for you. Sometimes it was your favourite, sometimes it was his favourite, but it didn’t really matter; the intentions did. When Ranpo saw you accepting the sweets, he took it as a sign that you forgave him and started to stick to your side whenever you were working on your applications. He doesn’t really say anything, but you knew he was there as best as he could.

[Tanizaki]

- Somehow he found you in one of your breakdown sessions and immediately panicked. However, instead of being in panic mode for ten minutes like Atsushi did, he asked hesitantly whether he could approach you, and when given permission, he held and hugged you until you were able to calm down significantly.

- Tanizaki admits that he doesn’t really know how to help; he was a student formerly but quit to join the ADA. However, Naomi was still in high school, so he decided to approach his sister for help regarding this.

- Naomi gave him loads of tips which he shared to you, but eventually he invited her over and you two had loads of studying sessions and university application sessions, which helped you a lot, especially when you had a friend together. Naomi was also motivational because she gets things done easily, and gives you a lot of advice.

- Tanizaki knew that he would be interfering if he was part of the circle, so he just lets you and his sister get it on. He does provide mental support and food though, and cooks dinner, and makes desserts whenever you two feel stressed or are studying late into the night.

[Kenji]

- Kenji is a country boy. He doesn’t know what this complex university system is, because back in the country you get plucked out of school every so often to help with crops and most of them don’t make it to university. (please tell me if I got this incorrect!)

- Being innocent and carefree as he was, he kept asking you questions about how things were done. At first you replied to get him away from you, because you needed peace and quiet, but while answering him, you realised you answered some of your own questions.

- Kenji was also a kind boy, so he asked the people he helped around Yokohama how he could help you. Some of them offered genuine advice, but he just messes it up when he tries to offer it to you, but it does make you laugh. Sometimes, however, he comes back with sweets and offerings from sympathetic parents; he once came back with a kitten, which made your stress decrease a LOT.

- On weekends, he insisted on you taking a trip with him to the countryside even though you protested it; you had a lot on your plate. However, these trips often help clear your head and you were able to write more once you get home. The fresh air does do wonders for your stress.

[Kyouka]

- Her first response was to kill someone, obviously. However, once you persuaded her that it doesn’t work, she told you, with a deadpan face, to trash the computer. That wouldn’t work either.

- She tried to bring you all sorts of cute things to cheer you up. That did, temporarily, but she soon realised the fundamental problem of ‘not enough space’. So she decided to cook for you instead, which helped a lot.

- Kyouka doesn’t really understand how university works, so she had you explain it to her. Once she learnt all of it, however, she started offering advice on her experience as an assassin, and tried to put them in context of university applications.

- You weren’t sure how, but it somehow worked. Kyouka also asked Atsushi for help, who asked Kunikida. At the end, she dragged Kunikida to your place and helped you, while staring at your process. Whenever you get stressed and wanted to throw things, she offers her ability as target practice.

[Fukuzawa]

- Fukuzawa did go onto higher education. But back in his days higher education was much, much simpler. He just stared on in disbelief when you tried to explain the current university application process, and had to tell you that it was ridiculous.

- However, he tries his best to help. Being an avid reader of literature, he introduced books that he thinks might help your preparation; if you didn’t have time to read them, he gives you ten minute crash courses on them (despite his dislike of people not reading what he recommends), and helps you out on how to summarise them properly on your applications.

- Fukuazawa also helps you proofread your essays or applications. He points out what he thinks as incoherent or lengthy; basically, after his scrutiny, your application was beautifully polished in the only way he could help.

- He also makes sure you gets enough rest and sleep in the midst of all this. Fukuzawa remembers to usher you away to bed at the appropriate timing and to wake you up whenever you decided to operate on sleep deprivation alone. He was the only thing keeping you to a reasonable schedule and timetable, but you could get out of it if you waved a cat in front of his face.

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drakesfiance · 5 years

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The Reunion

Pairing - Tom Hiddleston × OC (Meg)

Word count - 2500+

Summary - Okay I'm gonna be honest here.. this is something I wrote for a special someone. There is this guy I like.. But I'm obviously not gonna send it to him haha so I decided to post the chapter here. I hope you guys like it and trust me Chapter two Is coming soon. Drop In what you think about it in the comment box down below.♥️

***

"I'll be there in 15 minutes. I promise. I'm so sorry!" I said as I hung the phone to turn my concentration back to driving. I was already late and the traffic ahead of me wasn’t helping me much either. In the traffic, my mind kept wandering in anticipation. I was meeting my friends after a really long time. But more than that, my heart raced as I thought about everyone who was going to be there, including him.

“Finally, she arrives…after an hour. But okay,” Alex said in his ever so sarcastic tone. A sheepish smile instantly formed on my face as I apologized for reaching late. I went to the kitchen and popped open the soda as I made my way next to Alex.

“Where is everyone else? Don’t tell me I’m the first to reach? Tom, Ivy and Kenji are all late. And you were yelling at me for arriving late. How Alex of you!” I said with a smug smiled laced on my face.

"Okay, first of all. You realize we are all sitting at Tom's place? So, yes. He is here. He’s gone to the washroom. Secondly, Ivy and Kenji have gone to bring snacks for us,” Alex said very satisfied with his explanation which was successful in wiping the grin off of my face.

“Anyway, I have to use the restroom. I’ll bring Tom on my way back,” I said.

“Okay. Although if I were you, I wouldn’t really be very excited to see Tom,” Alex said coolly as he switched the tv on.

I looked at him with a confused expression waiting for him to elaborate. But what could worse could really happen if I see my best friend after a long time, huh? And a thought did come to my head, a worse case scenario, if you must. Although, I shrugged it off and went upstairs.

While returning from the restroom, I saw the door to Tom's room partially open. As a warning, I knocked on it twice and then flung it open. Tom's back faced me as I hugged him from behind. Normally, this would have resulted in hug back. However, this time Tom just stood there. I backed off from the hug.

"Tom, we are waiting for you. What’s taken you so long?”

I could see his back muscles contracting and relaxing through his tight t-shirt as he took deep breaths. This took me to the time when I used to dream about him nights after nights. His back still faced me. There were rare times when Tom would behave like this, overly quiet and relaxing himself though breathing. Alex’s warning started ringing in my head.

"Tom?" I mustered up some courage and touched his shoulder to turn him around.

He shrugged my hand off and with one last deep breath, he turned. His left hand was balled in a fist and one could see all his veins through the skin of his hands. His neck was red and so were his eyes. Bloodshot red with tears threatening to pour from the corner of his eyes. He gazed at me with his rage-filled light brown eyes. His jaw kept clenching and unclenching as he stood there for what felt like an eternity before he spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He said as he slowly put a blue sheet held in his right hand in front of me. His voice was calm in contrast to the way he looked at me.

I looked at the paper he held out and I knew then and there, this is it! My stomach dropped and everything came crashing down in front of my eyes.

*Few months ago, *

‘He will never find out, no one has to know.' I thought to myself as I unfolded the paper to read it one last time.

Hey Tom,

At first, you were just a friend. I loved spending time with you. Hanging out for hours after lectures. Going on long walks and talking about anything and everything. You were there when I needed you, you stuck around through my breakdowns.

You're genuine, smart and you're passionate about everything that you do. You're always there for your friends and that's what made me put all of my trust in you. I'm able to open up to you, knowing that you won't judge me. You believe in me.

When I began falling for you, I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was just a crush? Maybe it was Just an attraction and I wanted it to go away. Not because I didn't like you, but because I valued our friendship more than anything else. I knew that whatever I was feeling, it was forbidden. I knew acting on those feelings would be abysmal. I was falling for my best friend, it was someone I couldn't have in that romantic way. You were someone who I wanted so dearly, but I couldn’t have.

Telling you everything.. That wasn't an option. I thought if I just ignored all the feelings, I could just push them aside and pretend like everything was okay. It was difficult to pretend like I wasn't jealous of that girl who caught your eye. I was happy for you, truly I was. It just, hurts. It hurts to know that you took her to our walking spots. That you took her to our coffee place. It hurt to realize that, that's what you will do when you find someone. You won't have time for us anymore. And it's not your fault at all, this is life. We will just have to accept the fact and move on.

It's arduous. It's so damn difficult pretending like everything is okay. It's difficult hanging out like we used to. But, I'm happy. I'm happy to keep pretending that it's all okay, to keep things going.

I wish I could tell you everything. But I won't. For our friendship's sake. I will never ever do anything to hurt you. How can I?

I don’t know how long it is going to take for me to pretend like everything is okay until everything is okay.

- Meg.

***

"Tom, I…I can explain,” I said but my voice deceived me. Looking at him, standing there, I did not have the courage. What possible explanation could I give him when I didn’t even know for what he wanted an explanation or if he even wanted one.

"You just.. predicted everything? You didn't feel like it was important to talk to me about this?" He said with a groggy voice while clutching the paper tightly in his hand.

His whole composure intimidated me as he took a step closer towards me. I took one back.

"I…I know I should've told you but I had my reasons, Tom," I said with not a lot of confidence. I took one more step behind and I knew that if I took even one more step behind, I would be pressed against the wall.

"You were never going to tell me then? You don’t think I deserved to know?” Tom said with his tone going just a little higher. I stood there quiet, and there I was pressed against the wall as his intimidating figure hovered me.

"Meg…" he leaned in closer to me as his voice became almost a whisper. His hand travelling to my chin to lift it up.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he said as he brought his forehead and made contact with mine. He tucked the strand of my hair behind my ear and then brought both his hands to my cheeks. My heart was racing a million miles per hour in the anticipation of what was going to happen next.

I looked at him and then at his lips and I was aware of the close proximity between our lips. As if my lips had a mind of its own, I leaned in to kiss him. Reading my lips, his lips started working with mine. I could feel his hands travelling down my waist. He mumbled “jump” and I obeyed. He caught me by my butt and my legs were wrapped around his torso. His face formed a little smile as we kept kissing.

Our bodies were on fire as the passion took over us. It was a strange feeling but I was ready to get high on it. We took a little break all the while our lips never left each other and our bodies never separated. I could feel each and every breath of his against my lips.

He carried me to the edge of the bed and sat down with my butt now resting on his lap as his hands travelled to explore other parts of my body. His mouth moved to my neck and I felt every swipe and lick that his tongue made, the feeling was new and it felt incredible. His teeth grazed my collarbone and I moaned his name. I buried my hands into his hair, gently tugging at them and earning a moan from him.

His hands moved to my hips, his long fingers were digging into my skin but the pain, it felt wonderful. My body began to rock back and forth and I felt his grip tighten. I felt a new sensation I had never felt before, when I felt him get hard against me. His hand let go off my hips and he looked at me as if asking for permission. I nodded and he found the hem of my shirt and pulled away from our kiss to pull the shirt over my head. I shivered as I felt the fresh air hit my bare skin though the feeling was quickly replaced with a heat boiling in my whole body as his mouth wandered my body. His tongue leaving a wet trail of kisses on my skin as his lips grazed my breasts, his hands cupping them ravishingly as he brought his mouth to one of my hardened nipples. Hesitantly at first, he began sucking on it with relish, closing his eyes and making me scream his name in ecstasy.

It was really happening.. My conscious told me to stop but I didn't want to. That feeling.. it was different, it was exciting and I wanted more of it.

His lips were hastily pressed to mine in a heavy kiss. Tom groaned in approval as my hand travelled up to his hair, fisting them between my fingers. My breasts were pressed to his hard chest. I guided his head to the side as I placed kisses down his neck. Tom's erection was desperately straining against the material of his underwear. I wanted to please him, despite my lack of experience, I knew Tom's pleasure would be intensified without the limiting walls of his underwear hugging his lower back. I pushed him to the side, guiding him onto his back and straddling him in a fluid movement. He brought his hand to my face and pulled me in for pressing a heavy kiss to my lips. I kissed his jawline and left a trail of wet kisses and stopped just above his torso. I kept my gaze fixed on his face as I took the band of his underwear and slowly inched them down his thighs.

My hand wrapped around his shaft and I felt him twitch. I started pumping up and down trying to find the pace. “Keep going Meg,” He groaned, his eyebrows furrowed as he bit his lip to supress the moan. I leaned towards his dick and took it into my mouth. He groaned slightly and fisted my hair to keep me in place. I sucked gently on it, slowly increasing the speed until I heard him cry out in pleasure. I bobbed my head up and down as his penis started twitching and that’s when I knew he was close. I released him with a ‘pop’ and leaned back. He took a few deep breaths before rolling us, so I was now lying flat on the bed and he was hovering over me. He leaned over me and pressed a harsh kiss to my lips before nibbling his way down to my chest. He slid a hand down my stomach and brushed his thumb over my swollen clit. His long fingers fit right through my folds and my back arched from the bed as he thrusted two fingers into me without warning, curling up to hit that sweet spot that I had been writhing. He took his fingers and I let out an uncomfortable moan.

He grabbed my legs and locked me in place as he pressed his mouth against my folds, his tongue darting out to tease my entrance. I was screaming in pure ecstasy at that sensation. His tongue was eager, circling my clit in an almost torturing pace, licking over my entrance and sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves between his lips until I whined with shaking limbs. I felt right on the edge. At that moment he sped up and slid two fingers inside me and started moving them rapidly, curling them to graze my G spot.

“Oh Tom..” I screamed as I spasmed, my walls clenching around his fingers as I arched my back. My vision went black for a couple of seconds as the euphoric feeling took over me.

“Where the hell are you guys?” I heard Alex yell in the corridor. I looked over at Tom with panic in my eyes.

“ALEX DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR YOU WAIT OUTSIDE,” Tom yelled and gave me a smile before pressing a light kiss to my shoulder and then rolling to the side. He covered me up with the sheet and turned to face me.

“Let me take care of him,” he said and frantically tried to pull up his boxers.

“I’m coming in! What is taking you guys so long.” Alex yelled from the other side of the door.

“Tom DO SOMETHING,” I hissed at him and he ran for the door but his leg got caught up in the pile of clothes that were lying on the floor and he tumbled on the floor while I started laughing loudly at the scene before me.

“WHAT..THE..FUCK,” I stopped laughing as I looked over to find Alex standing in the doorway staring at us with a shocked expression on his face. Tom immediately ran to the door and slammed it shut.

“IVY, KENJI COME UP HERE!” We heard Alex shout. We both looked at each other and burst out in fits of laughter.

“Oops?” He said and climbed back into the bed.

“I’m going to kill Alex,” I laughed.

“Well.. It was kind of your fault too..” Tom said and gave me a small smile.

“We should talk.” I said with an apologetic smile.

“We definitely should,” He replied and kissed my forehead.

To be continued…

Thank you so much for reading ❤️ if you would like to be tagged let me know❤️

Reblogs are appreciated ❤️

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superthatguy62 · 5 years

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A look at the FFIII Manga: Desch

There is many external media of the Final Fantasy series, taking various forms. The big games like 7 or 10 got spinoff novels that expanded and some may say hurt their overall worlds, but in the case of the NES trilogy, it just got adaptations in literature form. Memory of Heroes was a light novel released sometime ago novelizing all three NES games (though only I's details and changes have been noted in english sources) and II has a well known light novel that expands and even changes in some ways, the game's story. However, Final Fantasy I and III had manga adaptations long ago with III's being released simply a year after the game and running for two. Further interesting is that Kenji Terada, the scenario writer of the first 3 games had a hand in writing it. It's interesting, especially since it's absolutely bonkers. Which, honestly looking at the OG trilogy's stories and the II novelization, is probably par for the course. (Fun fact: Terada apparently had a hand in writing Batman: Dark Tomorrow. Take that as you will). It’s a different animal from the original game and especially the remake. And to illustrate that perfectly, let's start with Desch.

(Credit to FFwiki for this image)

Desch appears in the tail-end of Volume 1, revealed to be the force causing massive birds to attack Canaan Basque.The Light Warriors fight back, but Desch succeeds in incapacitating and capturing Muuchi (the Warrior-looking dude).

While Melfi stays behind to help Kenny’s sister (?) Jenny, who took a bullet from a bunch of angry townspeople, Doug and J. Bowie chase Desch to the Kingdom of Birds (Dragon’s Peak/Mount Jenora doesn’t exist apparently) where they learn that Desch can brainwash people with his birds and did so to Muuchi when he incapacitated him.

This leads to Doug (small guy in the silly get-up) and Bowie attempting to get Muuchi back by fighting Desch.

Spoilers: It doesn’t go well. Desch is shown to have powers over birds, along with trickery such as a blowgun. Not even fighting directly helps because as soon as J Bowie engaged him in physical combat:

...Yeah.

Meanwhile, Doug finds Muuchi, but the latter is so brainwashed that he doesn’t seem to respond. Desch eventually punches Bowie off of a cliff prompting Doug to save him with a bendy stick/flail that he used as a weapon previously. Unfortunately, Desch literally kicks Doug off of the mountain, taking Bowie with him. Melfi’s white magic powers seemingly cause her to sense what happened to her allies.

Doug and Bowie do survive though, and decide to lay low for a bit. During that time, it becomes clear that Desch forces his brainwashed soldiers to attack beasts, cutting them open to allow his birds to feed on their entrails.

Later that night, Desch rounds up his minions and has them fight a giant beast. When the beast is seemingly about to crush Muuchi (he ends up leaping out of the way) Doug and Bowie spring into action, defeating the beast before fighting Desch once more.

It should be noted that, up to this point, Desch has not used magic at all (unlike the remake and later portrayals where he’s as proficient at magic as he is with a sword) although-

You can argue he doesn’t really need it.

Desch sics his brainwashed soldiers on Doug while Bowie once again confronts him. This time, Bowie hits Desch with a magic blast that can be seen from afar.

Doug is soon approached by Bowie who, in turn, leads him to Desch. Desch doesn’t attack however, and simply gestures for the boys to follow him to what is most certainly not a trap.

In any case, Melfi has been haunted by nightmares ever since Doug and Bowie fell and she decides to follow them. She eventually finds a giant, weird monster.

She also finds Muuchi, who promptly tries to kill her. She then gets attacked by the monster itself, which promptly grabs her with its tendrils.

The monster soon begins grabbing not only her, but Muuchi as well. In a last ditch effort to get Muuchi to come to his senses, Melfi slaps him silly.

It doesn’t work.

Desch is revealed to be nearby and his minions bring Doug and Bowie (who were thrown in a jail cell and, in the case of the latter, held hostage by the soldiers. While Melfi is distracted by the sight of her allies, however, Muuchi punches her into the monster’s grasp, where she is promptly absorbed by it in horrifying detail.

Bowie takes it the hardest: So distraught is he over Melfi’s apparent demise, that he taps into his Black Magic prowess and unleashes a barrage of spells at the monster tree.

Unfortunately, Doug is barely able to warn Bowie of the spear coming at him until its too late. Thus, Bowie is speared and begins getting absorbed by the demon tree.

Things are looking bad for poor Doug...

But then, something happens. The area is buffeted by odd wind and then light particles begin falling like snow. This also has an effect on the baddies: The birds, the soldiers, even Desch himself suddenly begin attacking each other. Meanwhile, Muuchi reacts badly to the phenomenon, seeming to have a breakdown.

Desch’s henchmen then attack Muuchi and Doug. Doug holds his own, but Muuchi’s a bit too busy losing his mind. One of the soldiers grabs Muuchi, bulks up and tosses him into the tree, much like Muuchi did to Melfi.

Then, well, things get weird.

Melfi, in a weird nude spirit form, astral projects herself from... wherever she is inside the tree. We’re treated to some weird imagery (including a fetus tethered to the universe and Muuchi at various development stages of her life (baby, toddler, child, etc) along with planets surrounding a giant Melfi (all of this in her spirit form, though thankfully undetailed, mind you)).

She then awakens (?). Her spirit form grabs a sword and flies into action. Meanwhile, Doug has been overwhelmed and is about to be fed to the tree just like Melfi and his brothers were. Melfi’s spirit flies into the core of the tree and neutralizes it.

...Well, mostly.

Melfi tries her white magic, but it appears that they were too late. This is the end for poor Bowie...

Oh Bowie! *Seinfeld Theme plays as studio audience laughs*

The party finally finds the unconscious soldiers, including the man who started it all. Desch’s control over his birds is broken and the day is saved, essentially.

Then, Desch wakes up!

Oh Desch! *Seinfeld Theme plays as studio audience laughs*

But yeah, turns out, Desch was brainwashed by that monster thing and he’s actually a good guy. However, Doug’s still upset that Muuchi got lost in all of that madness and they don’t know where he is... until Doug looks down a nearby edge and discovers Muuchi lying in a pit.

By the end, the tree is no longer evil, the townsfolk are reunited with their loved ones and the Warriors of Light/The Wind have a new ally in Desch. That night on Cid’s airship, Desch tells the warriors of the Sorcerer Hein who was likely the one who corrupted the tree. The group then proceeds to head for the Living Woods, with Cid dropping them off and Desch accompanying them.

(To be continued in the Hein writeup...)

Overall, Desch is probably initially one of the most changed characters for the manga, though he gets a bit more familiar after he’s unbrainwashed. Granted, the manga came out only a year after the Famicom version and it wouldn’t be until the DS remake that Desch’s affinity for lightning magic and swords was established, but the bird thing still kinda comes out of nowhere (despite his somewhat affiliation with Dragons). On the other hand, Monk Desch is kinda interesting to see. He still seems to be an ancient though, given that seemingly mentions the Village Castle of the Ancients.

Oh, and while I forgot to scan it and I’m too lazy to right now show it, Desch’s ability to use birds isn’t limited to his evil state. He manages to call some birds to his aid during the initial battle with Hein, as ineffective as they are. Good Guy Nerf is in full effect.

Next Time: A Look at Cid Haze and Sara Altney, now that I have the first volume of the manga.

You may think the Djinn’s size there is for dramatic effect. It’s not; He actually is that big in the actual story.

This manga is weird.

#final fantasy iii #Final Fantasy 3 #Legend of the Eternal Wind #Manga #Desch #Muuchi #Doug #J. Bowie #Melfi #This manga is weird #FFIII #FF3 #Square-Enix #Adaptation

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sailormoonandme · 2 years

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If there was a crossover between Spider-Man (comic version) and Sailor Moon, what sort of things would you most like to see in it?

Oh boy, I've outright considered writing those fics. Let me give you my off the cuff ideas and plot breakdown for those stories.

The Sailor and the Spider

The first fic I would do is relatively basic, very much like the comic book series Marvel Team-Up wherein Spider-Man would have an adventure with a guest star. I'd set it back when Peter was in high school and before Usagi had met Ami yet, so early days for both characters.

J. Jonah Jameson is heading to Japan because he wants to inspect his recently opened Tokyo branch of Now Magazine.* Because he is such a skinflint, he has timed his visit to coincide with a high profile scientific demonstration, that way he can cover it himself and save money on a paying a reporter for the job. All he needs is a photographer to snap pictures for him and explain all the technobabble. Well, who better than Peter Parker? Over in Japan, Usagi Tsukino has gotten a rotten test score again and is dreading the scolding her mother is going to give her. However, when she gets home, she finds her mother is out and her father Kenji is preparing to leave the house, specifically to cover the same scientific demonstration for his own magazine. Usagi begs him to let her join him so she can delay her mother's wrath for just a little while longer.

The demonstration itself is being conducted by Professor Tomoe exhibiting a prototype Daimon egg. Peter feels frustrated because he can't understand Japanese, whilst Usagi feels frustrated because she can't understand technobabble. It doesn't matter though because the demonstration is interrupted by none other than Doctor Octopus, seeking to steal the prototype for himself.

Usagi changes into Sailor Moon faster than Peter can change into Spider-Man but is overwhelmed by Doctor Octopus. Spidey shows up to help her but in the scuffle the Daimon egg breaks free and merges with Doc Ock's tentacles. Otto frees himself from his harness as Spider-Man finds himself outmatched by the prototype-Daimon.** The only thing that can destroy the Daimon is Usagi's Tiara, but the creatures tentacles make it impossible for her attack to connect.

However, working together Spider-Man rigs up the speakers used for the demonstration whilst Sailor Moon unleashes her sonic cry from episode/chapter 1. Spidey has stuffed his ears with webbing to protect himself, allowing him to ensnare the distracted Daimon's tentacles just long enough for Usagi to perform moon Tiara Action and defeat it.

The two heroes shake hands and pose for a picture together, which makes the front page of the Daily Bugle back in America.

---

The second fic I’d do I don’t really have a good name for or have thought about as intensely.

Pretty much it boils down to the Inner Senshi having to use Sailor Teleport to come to New York on Sailor business. However, whilst they are there they decide to hang out a bit and as a result they discover the Coffee Bean, where a college aged Peter Parker, Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn and Flash Thompson are hanging out.

Basically, it is an excuse for some fluff as 10 teens bounce off one another.

---

The third idea I had, and the one I am most keen to maybe write someday, involved Mamoru. In Sailor Stars Mamoru was flying to America to pursue his studies, specifically New York. Well... why couldn’t he be attending Spider-Man’s college, Empire State University?

In this scenario Mamoru either doesn’t die at Galaxia’s hands or he did but is not just picking up where he left off, I haven’t decided yet. But anyway, he is being shown around campus by Harry Osborn who introduces him to Peter.

Peter and Mamoru are not exactly close friends, but they get on well enough, both being smart, slightly socially awkward guys. In contrast Spider-Man and Tuxedo Mask do not like each other at all, in particular Spider-Man makes jokes about how lame his outfit is.

“What’s with that top hat? Can you pull a rabbit from it?”

“If only,” mutters Mamoru

The meat of the story though would be a one-on-one conversation between Peter and Mamoru. In the early 1970s there was a storyline where Peter’s girlfriend, Gwen Stacy, lost her father and blamed Spider-Man for it. She got further upset when Peter seemed to be avoiding her and from her POV seemed like he was going to propose to her but didn’t. The reality is he was trying to reconcile wanting to be with Gwen as Peter even though she hated him as Spider-Man. The end result of this was that Gwen fled to her uncle over in London.

So Peter is bummed out that he and Gwen broke up and opens up to Mamo about this. I haven’t worked out all the details yet, but in effect the crux of the story will be Mamoru talking about his biggest mistake, the break up arc from R. He explains that he realized what he and Usagi had was worth any risk, which is why he proposed to her. Inspired by Mamoru’s words Peter decides to go to London and find her.

The cruel irony of this is that Mamoru knows he and Usagi are destined to live happily ever after...whilst Peter is ignorant that he and Gwen’s relationship is destined to end in death and tragedy.

---

Another idea I am considering might be a sequel to the above story. Its set a few years later, after Gwen has died and I skew away from Spider-Man canon a bit by establishing Peter and Mamoru have become roommates.

Usagi comes over to visit Mamoru. But she’s gotten the time wrong and is stuck waiting for him in his dorm room. She hears a knock on the door and meets Mary Jane, who by this point has become Peter’s girlfriend.

The story is basically a load of fluff where MJ takes Usagi under her wing and shows her the down, introduces her to Aunt May and Aunt Anna (MJ’s aunt) and the pair of them shrewdly observe the engagement ring on Usagi’s hand. Then i guess there’d be references to mary Jane’s insecurities about commitment in contrast to Usagi.***

---

Finally, the story I had in mind involved Usagi, Mamo and Chibi-Usa getting accidentally transported through space and time by Chibi-Usa’s time key. they wind up stranded in New York several years into the future. They contact the only person they know in NYC, Mamo’s old roommate Peter Parker. But, being the future, Peter and MJ have gotten married and had a daughter of their own, Annie May Parker.

Annie was introduced in an AU comic book series called ‘Renew Your Vows’ which involved her and Mary Jane fighting alongside Peter as a family of superheroes (Spider-Man, Spiderling and Spinneret). So, basically the plot would be a superhero family get together, with Chibi-Moon and Spiderling becoming friends.

*This is another publication Jameson owns in addition to the Daily Bugle for those who don't know, it just isn't mentioned or referenced as much as the Bugle.

**In the comic books Doc Oc eventually had surgery to remove his arms from his body, but he could still mentally control them remotely.

***In the comics Mary Jane has major apprehensions about being in a comitted relationship or getting married due to watching her parents marriage fall apart and the same thing with her sister.

#My fics

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whittynovels · 6 years

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restore me predictions 2

*"It made me wish I’d had a sister. Or a mother. Someone to learn from and lean on. A woman to teach me how to be brave in this body, among these men" -Juliette gets friends!!!!! -I want juliette to get a makeover and people who give her boy advice and talk with her about girl stuff and ugh girls -She was never this way with the twins it always felt so awkward *Will Kenji get a love interest? -“he tries” -kenji totes flirts with international people -is the ex-girlfriend his????? -tahereh said kenji doesn’t get anyone in this book but thats ok we'll have a slow burn over a 3 book arc it's what he deserves -T said it’s someone we don’t already know which is fair bc everyone we already know he said is too much like a sister to him so it would be weird *Juliette’s favorite color is black? Sounds fake but ok *JAMES AND WARNER JAMES AND WARNER JAMES AND WA -“were you CRYING?” ummmm just fucking punch me in the lung next time -honestly is every character in this book just gonna witness a warner breakdown why we gotta do him so dirty like that -james is gonna be so mad when they find out they’re brothers because in unravel me he gets pissed about not being told stuff/getting left out -I don’t think it’ll happen this soon *WARNER’S EMO POWERS IN HIS POV -THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE THING I’M EXCITED FOR AND SHE HASN’T SHOWN IT YET IN THE SAMPLER SO I WAS WORRIED BUT YIPPEE I CANT WAIT TO GET CUTE WARNETTE SCENES WHERE WARNER IS AWARE OF JULIETTE'S FEELINGS AND ASKS HER ABOUT IT AND WANTS TO VALIDATE THAT SHE FEELS OKAY ASFUGHJKL;; *JULIETTE DRINKING ADFSGUHDIJ’K -I always wanted to write this but idk -Juliette is happy drunk / warner is emo drunk -Warner super concerned taking care of her *More people with powers? [we been knew reaction pic] -I honestly couldn’t guess any of the powers without just reciting powers from twilight or something lol *Kenji calling warner a dick and warner wanting to punch him -ME -Tahereh is teasing so much kenji & warner dialogue that it makes me wonder about them. Why are they together so much. Why does warner trust kenji. What. Help. Slow down *THE KIND OF MUSIC WARNER LISTENS TO -Either smooth jazz or beyonce, there’s no in between *What warner did to be leader of sector 45 -Pressure waves dude??? -No other predictions. no clue. help. *A cliffhanger?? -I honestly can’t tell you what state my anxiety will be in if there’s a cliffhanger -I think it’ll mirror other books where there’s certainly stuff unsolved but it’s not like someone dies then it’s like “aight, see ya next year” *She keeps hinting about deaths but tbh I don’t think anything will happen until book 6 -She did this with ignite me thinking big deaths would happen but it was nothing -I think she teases to create angst and fear but we’ll be fine -I trust her (t don’t let me down) *Another chapter 55 (◕‿◕✿) *lgbt characters !!!!!!!!! kenji, Brendan, Winston, whatever mans kenji gets *nO ADAM AND KENJI BRO MOMENTS HAHAHAHA -Kenji roasts adam at every opportunity *wARNER SPEAKING SEVERAL LANGUAGES UUGHGHHHHH WHAT A MAN!!!!!! WHAT A MAN, MY DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!! -Seven languages? Oh my lORDDT -I’m not even gonna predict what they are but hooooleeeee mollleeeeeey -We get to see him speak “a couple” ugghhhh I can’t wait to see juliette hear him break into Arabic or something and she’s just like !!!!!!!!!!!! *When asked about juliette and adam’s friendship growing, tahereh said “he’s a part of the story and there’s more left to come” and im just like noooooooo -At the same time, juliette is so forgiving I don’t doubt they’ll finally talk *PPL ROAST ME ABOUT AN ADAM REDEMPTION ARC BUT JUST THINK ABOUT WARNER AND ADAM’S FRIENDSHIP AND ADAM BEING SOMEONE WHO CAN SAVE THEM ALL IF HE PROJECTS HIS POWER AND DISABLES OTHERS’. I’M JUST SAYIN G *WARNER NAKED CRYING ON THE GROUND -WARNER HAS ANXIETY??? PLS LET WARNER HAVE ANXIETY I WANT ANXIETY REP -But at the same time I don’t because #tooreal -I feel like she posted this quote so out of context and it could be nothing but I leapt to the worst conclusions -Why isn’t juliette there? Did they have a fight? Did something happen to her? Did he read his dad’s journals? -DOES KENJI SEE HIS SCARS? -Is warner completely naked?? I’m so confused. I’M SO CONFUSED *Kenji calling warner cute constantly mY HEArt *WHY IS JULIETTE’S POV SPOILERY -Is she kidnapped??? Is she miserable??? Is a character with mind control powers harming her??? Is she separated from warner? Like WHAT??? It’s so spoilery that she can’t even find one quote to give us? *THE VALENTINES DAY SNIPPET -JULIETTE’S CONFIDENCE -THE TOWEL -WARNER’S POV SEXYTIMES -FWUJAOIFPKOIOBLHEIJKMF -SLIHBFLABKVLEAJFGFYOUDLHIJF -I was legit sobbing I was so happy for the first warnette kiss in 4 years -(lowkey wish there was more dialogue and description but that feels almost gluttonous at this point because we are so fortunate for having it at all) *Tahereh said she “likes” the ending of restore me -I don’t think we’ll have a cliffhanger, like I said. -She said “I don’t think it’s sad” so I hope it’s empowering like previous books -T said juliette is her favorite, ever, by the end of RM, so I think she’s fine and she doesn’t die clearly lol *AN EX-GIRLFRIEND COMES INTO PLAY -WHOSE??? WHAT IS THE TRUTH?????? -WHO IS GONNA CLAIM THIS WOMAN -Warner? Is it one of the overseas people? MY MANS IS A HOE!!!!! He out here saying “I didn’t have friends” but he actually meant “I had friends with benefits” -Kenji? Adam? Castle? I literally wish it were anyone else lol I’m solid on my theory of juliette being warner’s first everything but the internet and the author say otherwise *It’s confirmed that juliette MEETS her parents!!!!!! Oufhaouhilvgudyahisjkop;pzfx;ia I’MS O EXCITED SHE’S GONNA ROAST THEM I’M REA DY FOR HER TO ROOOAST THEM!! -Also warner said in unravel me he wants to kill whoever made her miserable as a kid so I want warner to threaten them or pull a gun or something and im just ready for there to be tea -The biggest question I have—more than what warner did to be leader of sector 45—is what her parents are like. Not even just physically and with their personalities. I’m so split on wondering if they’re sorry or if they still hate her. Are they happy without her? Do they regret it? Will they accept her as she is now? Will they learn to trust her? *New novellas??!!?!! -I was shocked we didn’t get one before this book. -Whose POV? We get a kenji short story so maybe from him. Since we get warner POV in the book, it’s not as important anymore as a separate novella. So it’s gotta be kenji, adam, castle, Anderson, someone, idk. james? new characters? -Maybe it’ll have bonus content from previous books in the trilogy (LS PS LP PL SP L S PL SPL S PLS PLS PL SPL S PLS PL S PLS) *The bird symbolism comes back I’m emo -Juliette flying (ie. Airplanes, she becomes the bird herself? Idk) -I always thought it was so weird that the “the bird I imagined is the bird on adam’s chest” conflict/coincidence was just randomly dropped. -Does juliette become adam’s bird? -DOES MY GIRL FINALLY GET TO SEE A BIRD???? AHHHHHHH --i used to want ignite me to end with her seeing a bird so maybe i can finally have my dream come true and one of these books has her seeing a bird in it *Juliette’s powers are still growing -Unless it has to do with killing people and not physically moving stuff like castle then idk. I’m conflicted about this one. *More about warner’s mom, it’s ok I’m just gonna cry over here *Warner’s virginity better not be a hot topic in this book because I am tired and I’m so happy not knowing -Same how I feel with sex scenes like ty for having them but I don’t need to be ~too~ well-acquainted with their anatomy, ya know? pls no sarah j maas porn in these woods, thank you *Juliette and warner get to travel!!!!!!! -Now that warner knows how to drive a helicopter I just imagine them being like “hey Barbie wanna go for a ride” “sure ken” “hop in” then I don’t wanna live forever starts playing because wasn’t there a helicopter scene in fifty shades *Warner and his 5 o’clock shadow sounds fake bc in unravel me when he was being held captive there was no beard [angery frog meme] -Why my mans so stressed he aint shavin????????? He needs a hug and 3 advil *SHE EITHER GETS A HAIRCUT OR A TATTOO IN THIS BOOK -I’m 50/50. On one hand, she mentioned in ignite me that she needs a haircut, but I really really reall yreally hate haircuts in books so I’m salty -Also Ive always wished she’d get a tattoo bc it’s so empowering and she has a lot of mantras she lives by and warner is such a cheerleader for them and he would love it too *WARNER IS LITERALLY THE EMBODIMENT OF CAR RADIO ABOUT OUTRUNNING SILENCE OAUHOSJIKO;DI;FSLDGYHIJ MY MANS IS EMO AND I LOVE AND SUPPORT HIM UNCONDITIONALLY -I’m concerned that he and juliette aren’t together more in this book. She’s in a meeting he’s not invited to??? Aaron warner? More like aaron burr, not being in the room where it happened

#ignore this #i'm linking it for goodreads lol

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jmuo-blog · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://jmuo.com/the-27-best-pizza-slices-in-new-york-city/

The 27 Best Pizza Slices in New York City

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[Photograph: Vicky Wasik, J. Kenji López-Alt, Clay Williams, Adam Kuban. Collage: Vicky Wasik]

“What’s the best way to set New Yorkers to bickering? Ask where to find the best slice of pizza in the city. No subject starts a battle faster—not bagels or hot dogs or chopped liver, not even the primacy of the Rangers or the fastest route to J.F.K. Pizza, introduced to New York in 1905 by Gennaro Lombardi, who saw it as a way to use up the day-old bread in his Spring Street grocery store, has long been the affordable, satisfying food of choice for peripatetic New Yorkers of every age, sex, race, and class.”

I wrote that in November of 2002 in the New York Times. The title of the story said it all: “The State of the Slice.”

A few months ago, I started wondering about the state of the slice in 2018. So much has changed in the last 16 years. While we’ve certainly witnessed a revival of the New York slice, you could also argue that it’s been reinvented, all because of five perhaps inseparable factors:

The explosion of food culture over the last two decades, thanks in a major way to…

The rise of food-obsessed websites—yes, like the very one you’re reading now. Which helped inform and connect…

Exacting personalities intent on reinventing and elevating humble foods, like burgers, fried chicken, barbecue, ramen, and more. Which eventually included…

Pizza-makers, both with serious culinary backgrounds and without, who started taking deep dives into slices using carefully chosen great ingredients (taking a stance that many of the classic slice joints either never did or had abandoned). Part of that stance being…

A mastery of fermentation—the process by which yeast and bacteria break down flour, yielding complex flavors and various textures in the crust.

Take Frank Pinello, who may be one of the best examples of this convergence of most, if not all, of the points above. When he opened Best Pizza in 2010, it set the standard for what I and my like-minded pizza obsessives have come to call the “revival slice shop”—that is, an establishment that specializes in selling pizza by the slice, the old-school way, but with particular attention paid to the ingredients used and the techniques employed.

Since then, we’ve seen other revivalist spots open, such as Williamsburg Pizza, which has grown from one outlet to a mini empire based on pizzaman Nino Coniglio’s manically obsessive efforts. We’ve watched brothers Mike and Pete Bergemann, in partnership with Ivan Orkin (of Ivan Ramen fame), open Corner Slice, serving their own unique take on Sicilian pizza made from artisan flour.

And, taking it to the next level, and maybe even full circle, we now have Scarr Pimentel, who developed his pizza-making chops at Lombardi’s over 10 years, making pies at Scarr’s Pizza. Scarr’s is a studiously hole-in-the-wall slice joint on Orchard Street, a half mile away from Pimentel’s previous gig, where, get this, he makes dough partially from flour he mills himself. (The obsession with flour and dough is typical of the revivalists: Find a celebrated new-school pizza maker these days, and chances are they’re also well versed in bread-making techniques.)

We are in a fundamentally different era of slicedom from the time when I wrote that Times piece, or even when I wrote my pizza book, Pizza: A Slice of Heaven, which was first published in 2005. To fully capture this moment in the evolution of the slice, I enlisted a couple of co-conspirators, Adam Kuban and Scott Wiener, both of whom share my passion for the slice.

Adam was the founder of the seminal pizza blog SliceNY and is a former managing editor of Serious Eats. Not only does he keep his finger on the pizza pulse of this city, he’s been making terrific bar-style pizza at his periodic pop-up, Margot’s Pizza.

Scott Wiener is the founder of Scott’s Pizza Tours. No one, and I mean no one, has been to more slice joints or eaten more slices of pizza in the last 10 years. Scott estimates that he has eaten 5,000 slices of pizza in the last five years (that’s 2.75 a day).

Our original goal was to come up with a master list of all the New York slices you have to eat before you die. But after eating our way through all five boroughs, I made an executive decision and changed course. Why? Because we didn’t want to publish yet another pizza bucket list. The internet is full of them, and you deserve more from us.

New York’s slice culture seems to be making an evolutionary leap—led by the aforementioned revivalists—and we wanted to give this moment some context. So I decided to split up our list into three parts to do just that:

The Revivalists: The slice shops described above, led by the ingredient- and technique-obsessed new wave of pizza-makers.

The Classics: We’ve chosen to define “classics” as continuously operating pizzerias that date back to between the 1950s and the 1970s—old-school spots that played a not-insignificant part in the rise of the New York slice joint, and that we consider the best in class of the First Golden Age of the Slice (see “A Slice of New York Pizza History”).

The Neighborhood Favorites: These spots may fly below the radar in a citywide sense, but locals will be quick to send you there—or not, if they want to keep a good thing to themselves. They’re places that serve as community gathering spots or local touchstones.

What Is a New York Slice?

Frank Mastro, who invented the gas-fired pizza oven in 1934. [Photograph: Courtesy the Mastro family]

Before we go any further, let’s define our terms.

A New York slice (or pie) has a thin crust that’s crisp yet flexible—you can fold it without shattering it like a cracker. A red pie will typically have an uncooked tomato “sauce” (really, uncooked crushed tomatoes that have been lightly seasoned with salt); white pies forgo sauce and typically add dollops of ricotta. Depending on the pizzeria, the sauce may be seasoned with herbs (and sometimes sugar), but the key is that it’s uncooked prior to going in the oven. (The regular New York pie is not to be confused with the Sicilian or “grandma” pie, both of which have thicker crusts.)

That oven will be a deck oven cranked to around 550°F (288°C), most often gas-fueled in New York, but electric models are making inroads. (To understand why a deck oven was so important for the evolution of New York pizza, check out our history of the New York slice.)

The standard cheese is what’s known in the industry as low-moisture mozzarella (sometimes referred to as LMM), and, ideally, there shouldn’t be too much of it. The amount of cheese used should be in balance with the sauce and crust. Ed prefers “discrete areas of sauce and cheese.”

As for form, it’s always sliced into a triangle. Scott adds, “It’s served on a paper plate, but the slice is bigger than the plate.” (Sicilian and grandma slices are served in squares.)

So that’s essentially a New York slice. A good New York slice is something more.

A good slice will have a thin, crisp crust, flavorful sauce that’s well-balanced, and good-quality cheese that’s creamy and not rubbery. The crust should have good coloration—a golden-brown to dark-brown hue tells us the dough was likely fermented properly, which means good flavor.

Fermentation, where pizza dough is concerned, is the chemical breakdown of flour by yeast, which yields sugars and alcohol. The sugars that the yeast helps release end up browning the crust. Too short a fermentation yields too little sugar for browning (and not enough alcohol and by-products for flavor). You can overferment, but that’s an issue you’ll likely never encounter at most slice pizzerias, where the more common foul seems to be making and using the dough too quickly. (Max Bernstein did a great series of Breadmaking 101 posts that delve deeper into this—go read them!)

A properly fermented dough will also have a nice crumb, or good hole structure, which is produced by a well-developed network of gluten. This is easiest to see in a Sicilian slice or in the end crust of a regular slice, where the crust is obviously at its thickest.

Hole structure itself is largely a function of dough hydration, which is simply the amount of water in a pizza (or bread) dough relative to its flour content. Generally, the more hydrated a dough, the more open and “airy” the crumb is, as a wetter dough allows longer gluten strands to form.

Finally, let’s talk about reheats. You’re going to encounter this phenomenon at most slice pizzerias, because they’ll precook a number of “slice pies” for quick service. If a slice pie has been sitting long enough to cool, they’ll throw it back in the oven for a bit. Some pizzerias even under-bake their pies somewhat, so the final slice doesn’t get hammered on reheat.

One tip that veteran slice-eaters will already know—you can specify your reheat temp, from “not too hot” or “warm” to “make it hot.” Some exceptionally service-forward pizzerias will even ask, “Hot or warm?” The more you know.

The List

First, some caveats.

We researched this article over the course of six months. Each of us did some individual slice-snarfing throughout the boroughs, and then, for two incredible Saturdays, one in Brooklyn and one in Queens, we met up and hit 10-plus places each day.

The lists here are largely in alphabetical order instead of ranked, with one exception (Louie’s, in the “Neighborhood Favorites” portion of the list). Why? Because none of us really believe in ranking pizzerias. When you live and breathe and think about pizza constantly, there are just too many variations among slices and too many gray areas. And, ultimately, this body of slices represents the pizza you need to eat to comprehend the New York slice experience.

We went back and forth on whether we should include toppings—and which styles we would consider. In the end, we decided on plain slices only, but we did allow ourselves to consider any style commonly served in NYC slice joints—regular* (i.e., round, cheese-and-tomato-sauce-only pizza); Sicilian (a thick, rectangular, raised-dough pan pizza); and grandma (like Sicilian, but with dough that’s not left to rise). For regular slices, we mostly limited consideration to those made only with what’s known in the industry as low-moisture mozzarella—as in, not fresh mozzarella, but the stuff most folks probably know as plain ol’ mozzarella from the grocery store. LMM, whether it’s whole-milk, part-skim, or a blend of the two, is the standard mozzarella on regular New York slices. For square slices, we were a little looser in what cheese we’d consider, as you’ll see. Squares have always been more of a gray area.

Many of the entries in the list are a synthesis of notes by, and recorded conversations between, Ed Levine, Scott Wiener, and Adam Kuban—written up by Adam. Where they’re the work of primarily one of us, the author’s initials will be noted at the end. Make sense? Yes? Good.

* Once known as “Neapolitan,” until the great traditional-Neapolitan revival of the 2000s.

The Revivalists

[top]

We’re leading with the revival places, the places to try out if you want to discover where slice culture is in 2018. Start your slice journey here if you’re already familiar with the classics.

Best Pizza

33 Havemeyer Street, Brooklyn, NY 11211; 718-599-2210; http://www.best.piz.za.com

[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]

When it comes to the thoughtful reinvention of the classic New York slice here in the city, Frank Pinello may be Patient Zero. In retrospect, it seems inevitable. He was raised in Bensonhurst, trained at the CIA, and opened a slice shop in Williamsburg at the height of Brooklyn’s mid-aughts renaissance.

Those factors seem to have shaped the pizza he makes at Best, which is cooked in a massive brick bakery oven from the early 20th century—a setup that would have been familiar to the men who started the New York coal-oven giants Totonno’s, John’s, and Patsy’s (though Best uses wood as fuel).

At the same time, Pinello’s Culinary Institute chops reveal themselves in the attention he pays to ingredients—making, then shredding, fresh mozzarella for the cheese; pickling various vegetables for the sesame seed–crusted white “pickled veg” slice; respecting the ingredients enough to let them stand on their own, as with the nice bright sauce on the plain slice, which is made simply from good-quality crushed tomatoes.

The crust on the regular slices is thin yet pliable, with a satisfyingly crisp-springy texture and great hole structure. The grandma slice has a light and crisp crust and a punchy sauce spiked with garlic and finely chopped anchovies. You simply cannot order the wrong slice here—and that’s before we even mention the fantastic sandwiches, which we won’t, because this list is all about pizza. —AK

Corner Slice

600 11th Avenue, New York, NY 10036; 212-956-9339; https://cornerslicenyc.com

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

As Ed put it, “Corner Slice may be the single best slice of pizza in New York at the moment. Holy s***, is this pizza good, and unlike any other slice around. They’re elevating the New York pizza slice in a way that no one else has in a long time.” Ed’s called co-owner Mike Bergemann “the mad scientist of pizza” for the way he’s experimented with various cheese blends and artisan flours in crafting the square pies that lend the stand in the Gotham West food hall its name.

The Corner Slice crust is made from a blend of durum and spelt flours from Central Milling, a Utah-based mill whose premium flours are considered among the best by many bakers and pizza-makers. Mike and his brother, Pete, employ long fermentations (which enhance flavor) of their dough, which is noticeably wet (making the finished product light and airy). The crust’s flavor is excellent, and the crispness is on point, verging ever so slightly into crunchy territory. It’s bubbly and light, yet sturdy.

The tomato-topped slice, finished with a little Sicilian oregano, is a great way to get a taste for what the brothers are doing here, but pair it with another slice of whatever else calls to you. They’re all good.

L’Industrie

254 South 2nd Street, Brooklyn, NY 11211; 718-599-0002; https://www.lindustriebk.com

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

When L’Industrie opened in 2015 under its original French owner, the tiny Williamsburg shop was making fairly pedestrian pies that garnered little attention. But when current owner Massimo Laveglia took over in early 2017, he changed everything but the name, overhauling the pizza while steadily building a reputation for stellar pies and slices. The Florence native made the best slice of the day on our Brooklyn pizza crawl, and it’s been consistently good on subsequent visits—superb crust, char, air, texture.

“It’s the re-Italianization of pizza, and not in a way that says one way is right and one way is wrong,” says Scott. “It’s not an Italian machismo thing; it’s more like, this Italian guy making New York–style pizza, but in a way he would do naturally, so his ricotta dabs are more floral-looking—it’s just a really cool, good pie, in a tiny, 300-square-foot space.” Don’t miss the burrata slice, which is blowing up Instagram.

Mama’s Too

2750 Broadway, New York, NY 10025; 212-510-7256; http://www.mamastoo.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Mama’s Too opened on Broadway and West 105th Street in late 2017, having spun off of longtime Upper West Side pizzeria Mama’s, just around the corner. Too often, the story of decades-old mom-and-pop restaurants ends with the youngest generation “moving up” in the world and out of the business. But there’s a great counter-narrative to that, and it’s one where fresh blood pulls the business into the present while honoring the past. We’ve seen it here in NYC with Wilson Tang at Nom Wah Tea Parlor, Niki Russ Federman at Russ & Daughters, and Jason Wang of Xi’an Famous Foods.

For Mama’s Too, owner/operator Frank Tuttolomondo built on foundations established at Mama’s, where the pizza is standard slice-joint fare. “I knew I couldn’t change the pizza there, or regulars would be upset,” Frank said. “So I opened this place.”

When it’s available and fresh from the oven, the pizza at Mama’s Too is fantastic. (The small shop has trouble keeping up with demand, and the slices can suffer on reheat.) The squares are superb, with a satisfying crisp-chewy quality and a nice open crumb that still stands up to the substantial toppings. Tuttolomondo says he’s inspired by noted Roman pizza-maker Gabriele Bonci—but that he’s trying to bridge the gap between Roman-style pizza al taglio (that is, pizza “by the cut”) and New York squares. Gap bridged.

The regular slice employs some Di Fara–esque touches. Like Dom De Marco, Tuttolomondo does the whole post-oven cheese-grating-and-tons-of-basil thing. The crust is made from a 70% hydrated dough, leading to a very open, airy crumb and a light, crisp bite. As a general rule, most pizza is best eaten straight out of the oven, but we strongly recommend eating a regular slice from Mama’s Too as fresh from the oven as possible; it loses some of its ethereal qualities when you let it sit. —AK

My Pie Pizzeria Romana

690 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10022; 212-317-1850; https://www.mypiepizzeria.com

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

Like Mama’s Too, My Pie Pizzeria Romana takes inspiration from revered pizza-maker Gabriele Bonci, who is behind Pizzarium in Rome. When My Pie first opened in its original spot in 2013, astute pizzaheads would have noticed a Bonci cookbook on proud display, alongside a wood pizza peel bearing the mark of Bonci. For the casual eater of pizza, we’ll stress that Bonci is an outsize figure in the world of pizza, and when a spot can claim a connection, pizza nerds sit up and listen.

It turns out that the two brothers who opened My Pie, Michael and John Ozger, learned from Bonci himself, and now turn out medium-thick, crisp, and light squares topped with good-quality organic ingredients in an unsuspecting part of Midtown. The pizzas are served al taglio out of large trays displayed behind glass, and they bear an abundance of toppings.

My Pie’s bready slices would be a fantastic find anywhere, but in its original location on Lexington and 57th, they’re a godsend. They’ve since added a second location on Amsterdam and 72nd on the Upper West Side, which also needed something like this. —AK

Scarr’s

22 Orchard Street, New York, NY 10002; 212-334-3481; http://www.scarrspizza.com

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

Not many pizzerias in New York—or the world, for that matter—can claim they’re using freshly milled flour in their dough. And Scarr’s is the only one in New York selling such pizza by the slice. (Bruno, which opened in the East Village slightly before Scarr’s, offers whole pies made with house-milled flour.)

Owner/operator Scarr Pimentel, who has worked in pizzerias all over the city—Joe’s, Lombardi’s, Artichoke Basille’s—blends his own milled flour with organic heritage flour from an upstate farm. Pimentel says freshly milled flour retains more of the wheat’s nutrients and can help with digestibility, but what wins us over is the slightly nutty flavor and crisp-chewy texture that the flour blend produces in the crust.

The shop itself is a fun re-creation of a 1970s pizza shop—one that just happens to sell some of the most well-considered pizza in the city.

Sofia Pizza Shoppe

989 First Avenue, New York, NY 10022; 212-888-8816; https://sofiapizzashoppe.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Tommy DeGrezia and Matthew Porter opened Sofia in 2016 in an area of Manhattan that sorely lacked a fine slice. Tom’s last name may look familiar if you’ve already perused the “Classics” section: He’s the grandson of Vincent DeGrezia, the “V” in Bensonhurst old-school joint J&V Pizza.

The regular slices at Sofia are what you should focus on—they’re thinner than usual, always consistent, and have just the right balance of sauce and good-quality cheese. As mentioned, one of our ground rules was that we’d judge only on plain slices, and these plain slices pass. But don’t skip their signature spinach-dip slice, which sounds like a gut-busting gimmick but actually works, leaving you feeling satisfied but not regretful in the least. —AK

Williamsburg Pizza

265 Union Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11211; 718-855-8729; http://www.williamsburgpizza.com

[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]

Nino Coniglio is an idiosyncratic, itinerant pizza guy who went from pizza competitions to a superb, now-defunct shop in deep Brooklyn and is now a partner and lead pizza-maker at Williamsburg Pizza. He’s also a pizza consultant, developing pizza programs at pizzerias, restaurants, and bars. Judging by his work at Williamsburg Pizza, those places are in good hands. We had a very good grandma slice here, and the regular slice has an old-school NYC crust with a crisp veneer and tender insides, and plenty of color and bubbles to boot. —EL

The Classics

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The old-school places that laid the foundations for the revivalists to build upon. These are the slices you need to eat for some basic level-setting and for overall slice cultural literacy.

Di Fara

1424 Avenue J, Brooklyn, NY 11230; 718-258-1367; http://www.difarany.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

What more is there to say about Di Fara that hasn’t been covered in this epic 2009 post, “All You Need to Know About Di Fara, 2009”? Well, turns out that a lot has changed in nearly 10 years—even at a place most people might have thought was frozen in time.

Proprietor and pizza patriarch Dom De Marco still takes the pies out of the oven with his bare hands, still takes forever, but his daughter Maggie has semi-successfully made order out of chaos when it comes to ordering, writing down each order manually in a notebook with her own unique shorthand. Dom has a pizza-making assistant now, which helps some. They’re not using fresh mozzarella on the regular pie anymore, and the fistfuls of freshly grated Grana Padano were replaced by pre-grated Romano after Dom’s old counter-mounted rotary grater broke and he was unable to find a replacement.

The Sicilian, which a lot of people prefer to the regular slice, was dense and tough. We much preferred the regular, which, even with the changes, somehow still tasted like Di Fara. He may have lost a step, but so does every great athlete before they retire. Scott calls it “the pilgrimage pizzeria of NYC.”

Joe & Pat’s

1758 Victory Boulevard, Staten Island, NY 10314; 718-981-0887; https://www.joeandpatsny.com

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

A photo of a slice from Staten Island legend Joe & Pat’s is instantly recognizable: a super-thin, flat crust all the way to the edge, with discrete cubes of low-moisture mozzarella that melt into distinct blobs (rather than the full coverage that comes from using shredded cheese), against a background of very simple tomato sauce. —SW

Joe’s Pizza

7 Carmine Street, New York, NY 10014; 347-312-4955; http://www.joespizzanyc.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

This is the New York–iest of New York slices. It defines classic NY slice pizza—crisp, thin crust, crushed canned tomatoes as sauce, low-moisture mozzarella for cheese. Don’t bother with the fresh-mozz slices—they’re invariably bland. Joe’s is so consistent in all its locations (a bunch of NYC shops and one in Shanghai) that I have dreams of it replacing every mediocre Famiglia in airports and malls and train stations everywhere. —EL

L&B Spumoni Gardens

2725 86th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11223; 718-449-1230; http://www.spumonigardens.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

When someone talks about an “L&B–style slice,” they’re often talking about the way this legendary Gravesend pizzeria assembles its square pizzas: dough, slices of low-moisture mozzarella, then the sauce. This is followed by a dusting of grated Romano cheese all over, especially along the edges, where it bakes into the crust, creating a kind of accidental Parmesan stick—you know, like those breadsticks that have just a dusting of baked-on cheese.

But there’s more to it than that. The crust is like no other. The bottom is plenty crisp, but the interior is tender and soft—it’s airy, even though it has a tight-to-medium crumb.

Where the cheese and crust meet, the two become one. Some people find this off-putting because, when you bite in, it feels like the dough is undercooked. But, as Scott pointed out to us, this is a false “gum line”—a line in the crust where the dough is still raw, which can happen in improperly cooked pizza. What’s happening with L&B’s is that your teeth push the melted cheese into the dough, creating the impression of a gum line.

The L&B Sicilian slice really is its own thing. And let’s be clear that we’re talking only about the Sicilian here, because that is 100% the pizza they’re known for.

Louie and Ernie’s

1300 Crosby Avenue, Bronx, NY 10461; 718-829-6230; https://louieanderniespizza.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Let’s use the superb, just-thin-enough slice at Louie and Ernie’s to talk about topping distribution, because something they do there illustrates this concept perfectly: They put a little pinch of black pepper in the center of the pie, so your first bite has that zing. This is called center-loading. Another technique they’re adept at here is evenly distributing the toppings so each bite is uniform.

These are the small differences you might not notice, but they’re integral to making your favorite slice your favorite slice. There’s also a bit of cornmeal on the underside here, which offers some extra texture. It’s all topped sparingly with whole-milk mozzarella and grated cheese, and when you add up all the details, it makes for a diminutive slice of heaven in Throgs Neck in the Bronx.

New Park Pizza

156-71 Cross Bay Boulevard, Howard Beach, NY 11414; 718-641-3082; http://newparkpizza.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

We struggled with including New Park because it can be inconsistent, and because you have to ask for it well-done if it’s to approach its potential greatness. But when it’s on, it’s so on. The regular slice is the thing to get, cooked in an old brick-lined oven that’s got, like, a flamethrower inside. Scott thinks it used to be a coal oven that was just repurposed. They do this thing where they throw salt on the floor of the oven every hour or two, and when you get a just-salted slice? Perfect. It’s the little quirks that make the difference here.

NY Pizza Suprema

413 Eighth Avenue, New York, NY 10001; 212-594-8939; http://nypizzasuprema.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

After leaving the family business to work in law, Joe Riggio eventually came back and took over Suprema from his father, Sal. Located across from Penn Station and Madison Square Garden, the place is always busy, so you’re all but guaranteed a fresh slice that hasn’t been sitting. It’s got a sweet sauce, but it’s one satisfying slice nonetheless. If you’re going to the Garden, this should be your pre- or post-game slice. If you get to Penn Station early, head here immediately. The regular slice is exemplary, but the upside-down Sicilian is on another level altogether. Super-fast and efficient service, and you can almost always find a seat.

Patsy’s East Harlem

2287 First Avenue, New York, NY 10035; 212-534-9783; https://www.thepatsyspizza.com

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

Patsy’s is a treasure. It’s one of only two coal-oven pizzerias selling by the slice in New York—and a plain slice goes for only $1.75. An example of minimalist perfection, the Patsy’s slice has been remarkably consistent ever since I’ve been in New York. [Editor’s note: That is, since 1973.] Sure, it’s smaller than most slices, but it’s cheaper than any other good slice in New York. In the dining room, they offer a choice of fresh or low-moisture mozzarella—the only coal-oven pizzeria to do so—but at the slice counter next door, LMM is the default. —EL

Rizzo’s Fine Pizza

30-13 Steinway Street, Astoria, NY 11103; 718-721-9862; http://www.rizzosfinepizza.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Rizzo’s serves a unique slice, which it describes as a “thin-crust Sicilian.” It’s a rectangular slice sparsely topped with sauce and cheese. As with Joe & Pat’s, its signature look is the whole discrete-areas-of-sauce-and-cheese thing. But Rizzo’s takes it to a whole new level—you can almost imagine them meticulously laying on one two- by three-inch rectangle of sliced cheese per slice. The crust is biscuit-y and dense, but it works. Nobody else is making a slice like this, unless you head to Lazzara’s in the Garment District, but that’s whole-pie-only.

The Neighborhood Favorites

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Louie’s

81-34 Baxter Avenue, Elmhurst, NY 11373; 718-440-9346

[Photograph: Daniel Gritzer]

The superb grandma slice at Louie’s—light, not too thick, nice and airy and crisp—is an example of why it pays not to be too strict about categorizing and nomenclature.

For the longest time, I mistakenly believed that a grandma was simply a “thinner Sicilian,” one that typically had a lot of garlic (but sometimes not) and that often had the sauce painted on in diagonal stripes (but not always). But Scott set me straight a while ago, explaining that a grandma’s dough is pressed out into its rectangular pan, topped, and then baked immediately, while a Sicilian dough is left to rise, or “proof,” in the pan before it’s topped and baked. (At L&B, they actually top it with cheese and sauce and then let it proof.)

Per Scott’s definition, the star of the show at Louie’s Pizzeria is technically a Sicilian, since it proofs in the pan. Moreover, it’s an upside-down Sicilian, because the cheese (fresh mozzarella, in this case) goes on first, covered by an ample amount of crushed plum tomatoes seasoned with lots of garlic, basil, and Pecorino Romano.

Even if you don’t remember these details, just remember to get the grandma at Louie’s. The regular slice is perfectly fine; better than average, really, and I’d be happy to order it if it were my local and we needed round pies for some reason. But it’s just not in the same universe as the grandma there.

What’s more, Louie’s embodies the very notion of the Beloved Neighborhood Fave, which is why it’s at the top of this category and not in alphabetical order, like we’ve done elsewhere.

Even though we believe we’re in the middle of a pizza renaissance, and even though a lot of pie-makers may be turning out the most technically well-crafted pizzas we’ve seen in a generation, one thing that seems to be in short supply is a form of genuine hospitality, something that isn’t part of a self-conscious “strategy” designed to wow you. You might not notice the difference until you finally get your butt to a place like Louie’s.

From the outside, it’s an unassuming place, which, truth be told, is part of the reason I initially hadn’t bothered to check it out. It was neither knowingly hip-looking like Scarr’s, nor was it charmingly old-school like J&V. Step inside, though, and you’re greeted immediately and enthusiastically by Louie. If he doesn’t know you, he introduces himself (though he declined to disclose his last name for this story). The people cycling in and out all seem to be regulars—if they’re not, you wouldn’t know it from the way Louie chitchats with them.

The customers are a diverse lot—this is Queens, after all, on the border of Jackson Heights and Elmhurst. But more than just the racial diversity you’d expect, you’ve got people from seemingly all walks of life. There are the cops—it is very cop-heavy—picking up dinner for themselves and colleagues. There’s staff from Elmhurst Hospital across the street. There’s a bougie-looking dad and son, plus a large multigenerational family there for the non-pizza food (which I understand is also quite good).

Over the course of three consecutive evenings there, I saw several of the same faces, all of them bantering with Louie and often with one another. Louie’s is a community hub. It’s more than just a place you go to collect a photo for your Instagram feed—though, admittedly, those grandma slices translate to mega likes.

Are non-Queensers going to rush out here from other boroughs? Probably not. As fantastic as the grandma is, the place is a schlep if you don’t live in the area, and you can probably find a slice just as fulfilling, in one way or another, closer to home. But if you live nearby, you know the qualities that bring you to a place like Louie’s—or to Delmar in Brooklyn, or Nunzio’s on Staten Island, or Sal & Carmine on the Upper West Side—and you advocate loudly for your spot.

That is what we mean by Beloved Neighborhood Faves. Here are some more—in merciful brevity. —AK

Ciccio’s

207 Avenue U, Brooklyn, NY 11223; 718-372-9695

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Living in the shadow of L&B is Ciccio’s (just a 10-minute walk away—make it a twofer visit!). We learned about it at Slice back in the day from Gravesend local David Sheridan, who went on to open Wheated in Ditmas Park. Ciccio’s is known for its sesame seed crust, one of the few shops in New York where this is SOP. It’s got a dense edge, more cheese than many a New York slice, and nice color on the underside. The crust is like getting a bonus red-sauce sesame stick. —AK

Dani’s House of Pizza

81-28 Lefferts Boulevard, Kew Gardens, NY 11415; 718-846-2849; https://www.danishouseofpizza.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Dani’s is way the heck out in Kew Gardens, Queens, a true neighborhood spot if there ever was one, so you’d think it would be a casual, quick-grab kind of place. Nope. The few seats at the counter are never not filled, and there’s a line out the door at lunchtime, at dinnertime, at 3:30 p.m. on a weekday, at midnight on a rainy Friday when the streets are otherwise empty, and at 10 p.m. on the coldest night of the winter in 2015, when I first visited after looking at an apartment nearby.

The crust is super thin, crisp, and light, with a generous helping of sauce, though be forewarned: Their semiofficial hashtag is #sweetsauce. I’m usually not into sweet sauces, but I make an exception for a fresh, hot slice at Dani’s. And yes, I know we’re supposed to talk only about the plain slices, which are great, but they’re also kind of known for their pesto slice, which a lot of locals get with red sauce added on top. —AK

Delmar

1668 Sheepshead Bay Road, Brooklyn, NY 11235; 718-769-7766; https://www.delmarpizzabk.com

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

As noted pizza guys, all of us are often asked, “What’s the best slice in the city?” and/or “I live in [Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood], what’s the best slice near me?”

As we’ve said, none of us really rank pizzerias, so to the first question, you’re apt to get a long-winded answer filled with several options. For the second question, we’ll either have a neighborhood pick to toss out, or we’ll end up learning something new from a local (which is always a good thing).

But these questions aren’t really intended to elicit new information for the asker. They’re usually all about the asker testing for BS on our part, seeing if our answers jibe with theirs and whether they can trust our judgment.

For folks who grew up in deep Brooklyn, Delmar in Sheepshead Bay often serves as a litmus test. And rightly so. It’s a fine slice, with very even color on the crust and tight proportions of cheese and sauce. The mozzarella is good-quality—it had a nice pull to it when we visited—and there’s a good amount of Romano on it, enough to lend the slice a salty, tangy note. The Sicilian is very nice and light, too.

J&V Pizza

6322 18th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11204; 718-331-0689; http://jvpizza.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

The regular slice at this authentically retro Bensonhurst mainstay is very good, with salty cheese. There’s a unique, crunchy grandma slice. But the Sicilian? Fantastic, light, and airy, with goopy cheese cascading down the sides. It’s the thing to get.

Little Luzzo’s

119 East 96th Street, New York, NY 10128; 212-369-2300

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

Little Luzzo’s, on 96th Street between Park and Lexington, is a hangout for nearby Hunter High School students, all of whom seem to opt for the special: two shockingly good Margherita slices and a soda or water for $5. It’s the best deal in the city for traditional, good New York–style pizza. The slice is kind of Joe’s-like: crisp, thin crust; dark bake; discrete areas of uncooked, crushed tomato sauce; and aged mozzarella. And there’s a bonus on each slice: a couple of nubbins of fresh basil. I guess that’s why they call their regular slices Margheritas. No grated Romano on the slice, but they have a shaker full of the salty stuff on the counter.

Luigi’s Pizza

686 5th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11215; 718-499-3857; http://luigispizzabrooklyn.com

[Photograph: Adam Kuban]

Luigi’s Pizza in Park Slope is an old-school place with a serious dough-management strategy. Second-generation owner Gio Lonzo (Luigi’s son, who now runs the place) has devoted the entire next-door storefront to a series of refrigerators all set to different temperatures, which house the dough at different stages of its fermentation. (How can he afford this space? The Lonzos own the building.) It makes for a fantastic plain slice with tons of flavor. Worth seeking out not only for the pizza but for the effortless hospitality Gio and crew radiate—and for the authentic 1970s pizzeria vibe.

Ed finds the regular slice excellent, with perfect balance and seasoning, and he calls the grandma slice “snappy.” Scott’s assessment is a bit stronger: “It’s the definitive slice. It’s the truth. It’s the honest truth of New York pizza.”

Nunzio’s

2155 Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island, NY 10306; 718-667-9647

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

Despite the old admonition about judging a book by its cover, sometimes you really can look at a slice and not want any part of it. One tell is seeing a slice absolutely blanketed in cheese. That’s not the kind of slice Nunzio’s serves out in Staten Island. Here, little islands of cheese seem to float on a sea of basil-laced sauce, all atop a perfectly crisp-pliant crust.

Sac’s Place

2541 Broadway, Astoria, NY 11106; 718-204-5002; http://sacsplace.com/

[Photograph: Daniel Gritzer]

Sac’s is a large pizzeria-restaurant in Astoria that has the distinction, after Patsy’s, of serving the only other coal-oven slice in New York. They do the initial bake in the coal oven, and when you order a slice, they reheat it in a standard gas-fired deck oven. There’s not a ton of buzz around Sac’s, but it was the best slice on the Queens leg of our initial pizza crawl—thin, crisp, with a bright tomato sauce and just enough cheese. It really should get more attention than it does.

Sal & Carmine

2671 Broadway, New York, NY 10025; 212-663-7651

[Photograph: Clay Williams]

The quintessential Upper West Side slice joint, located on Broadway between 101st and 102nd Streets. When it opened in 1965, on Broadway and 95th Street, it used to be just Sal’s. It’s now being run by Sal’s grandson Luciano. The slices are slightly bready, with just a hint of crunch on the bottom, and they are very cheesy, so much so that the dreaded slice-blotters have a field day at Sal & Carmine. The sauce is barely evident. The place is so old-school, there’s still a non-functioning slice window in the front.

A Final Word

Slice from Sauce in the East Village. [Photograph: Clay Williams]

So that’s the state of the slice as we head into the final months of 2018, and we’re eager to see what 2019 brings, since it appears the pace of reinvention hasn’t slowed. For example, two revivalist slice spots just opened: the long-awaited Paulie Gee’s Slice Shop in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, and Sauce Pizzeria in the East Village, which has some impressive bona fides. (The owners worked with uber–pizza consultant Anthony Falco, who made a name for himself at Roberta’s.)

Both are putting out some promising pies, but we left them off the list proper to give their slices some time to mature. Based on what we’ve tasted, though, they seem to have internalized the best elements of the revivalist movement: They know they have to bring something new to the slice table and improve upon what’s already on offer, whether it’s from classic spots, neighborhood stalwarts, or some of the cheffier operations on the scene. Any ambitious New York slice shop opening in 2019 or beyond will have to do the same if it hopes to distinguish itself in a pack of truly superlative peers.

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komizenkun · 6 years

Text

The death dream.

I had a rough yesterday. The one thing that has been bothering me was feeling lonely.

And then yesterday some dude named Samuel ashby put up a status asking people to put up a pic. So I put mine up and he put up a vomit emoji.

So I started seriously considering maybe I’m ugly. And then a bunch of people came out of the woodwork and said i wasn’t but most of them are people I never would hear from otherwise.

So I still felt hollow. I still felt unappreciated.

So this morning I fall asleep and I have a dream.

In the dream I beat someone at a game and was given this ring. It looked like the fake vampire fangs kids get but was a huge gold ring.

And then I found out by talking to my friend Mayo that it was actually a symbol of a violent gang and somehow that had made me a member. So I got rid of it and threw it away.

Then I found out they heard about it and were coming after me. In the dream I was living in the second floor of an apartment by the opposite side of the bridge from where I live. I retreat there and prepare for the worst. So they start invading my place which I thought they wouldn’t know where I lived.

So with them funneled in I start taking them out one by one as they enter the door. By like the fifth or sixth one I was wearing down. And then Mayo comes in with a dude with a shotgun. Turns out mayo was a member and he snitched that I “disrespected” them.

They shoot me with the shotgun. As I’m on the ground dying, I somehow felt relieved. Everything turned to black and white. Then he stood over me and delivered the final shot.

I awake at an intersection not far from there wandering. Outside of the intersection there are nondescript officers. If you try to walk past them they first push you back toward the middle to be sorted. I didn’t test them further. I discover that I am supposed to go to this liquor store/ casino. Due to the look of it and the white and red logo, I take this as a sign that I’m on the “going to hell” side of death. I breakdown crying and yelling out.

“But I was good! I looked out for people! I didn’t want to even be in that gang! I did what I was supposed to!!!”

And an officer pushes me inside, telling me to be patient. Resigned to my fate I head in, sad. Then I second later I flash to a chart of moments from my life. I assume this must mean I get to pick a point in life to do it over from. I was gonna pick college but instead decide to play it safe and pick my childhood. I was actually happy cuz I could finally do things differently and better.

Next thing I know I find myself in a wheelchair being pushed by a Latino guy thru the back alleys of Catonsville where I lived when I was very young.

So I get to the back door of this town home and the person answering the door was the downstairs neighbor from where I had lived at the time of the attack. It was at this point I realized that I had survived the attack. All that in between was just a near death experience.

The saddest part was I was actually the most sad at that point in the dream. I had fully embraced death and reincarnation at an earlier point in life. The fact that I had to live on in this world where I could be killed by a gang I didn’t even mean to join, a world that no matter how good you are the worst people will succeed and be loved, a world where good guys never prosper and nice guys finish last and alone...

That was worse than the fear of being shotgunned, worse than the fear that I was gonna go to hell. The defeated feeling I got know I had to keep living, and not only that amongst people who suffered due to the coincidence of the situation (I’m assuming they were attacked as well) was the worst feeling of the nightmare. Then I woke up.

And now I’m numb. As I type this I just don’t care. If I live, this world is still gonna suck. If I die, there are a few people who are gonna care enough to be sad for a few weeks but mostly no one will be changed by my absence.

For all my effort the dream clarified more of my feeling that I don’t matter in the big scale of anyone’s life.

No matter how good I am, I hurt.

Try to be there for depressed passive Brandon? He turns into a cocky thot and doesn’t even remember that you were there for him when he felt like he had no one.

Try to be a good musician and even accept a very low rate? Get constantly denied the chance to make the music ministry great and then outlast the church.

Try to be a good big brother to Dalvin? Get left out of all the fun time pictures, barely hear from him except when he is coming over and stays for about an hour then leaves.

Try to be there for Oden and as soon as I stop defending his heinous actions and freeloading now I get called the “asshole”.

Be there for Kenji who has lived a hard life? Get snapped at every time he has a bad day.

Be there for Malik who own parents aren’t there for him? Get to watch him invest his time in Rodney the same horribly selfish ex boyfriend that used to abuse Brandon.

Be a good boyfriend? Well let’s see, first boyfriend can’t even have a real conversation with me, the second passed away young, the third caused arguments because he didn’t know how to live without drama and couldn’t handle a boyfriend actually being trustworthy. And fourth boyfriend decided to go back to a promiscuous lifestyle calling me a goody two shoes.

Be an interesting person with passions, interests, and caring and responsible? Get attention mainly from basic people who just see potential dick.

I’m so tired of feeling like I try the most to never be petty or irresponsible. I try so hard to just be good. And life beats me up for it constantly.

I am both black and gay and disabled and in a church that doesn’t like gays. I’m in a country that is so opposed to me. I’m about growth and challenging viewpoints and being open to new ones. I have a can do spirit normally. And this world would rather rest in cliches and categories and random sex and revel in the pettiness and not be loyal and hate entire groups and laugh at horrible things.

None of that is how I operate. And when I woke up I was numb. I don’t feel like my normal optimistic self. I just exist. Unfortunately. If it wasn’t for the few people that would be hurt by me dying I would end it. I’m tired of living in this world.

I’m tired of the laziness. The pettiness. The greed. The hate. The way they rush to love assholes, the way they accept freeloading lazy bums. The way they stubbornly stand by stupid old beliefs instead of being open to better ways. The way they think of themselves over others. The way they will step on anyone to get what they want. They way they don’t even cherish team mindset. The way they can’t be vulnerable. The way they drown in drugs and shallow things and material things, happily. The way they worship these things. The way that they have no standard for hard work.

I don’t know if I care anymore about most things.

Sorry to end on a sad note.

But I wish my story was over. I wish I could start over. I wish I could change someone or something for the better. I wish I could matter. But I don’t.

Heres a positive. If you die in a dream you don’t die for real. Unfortunately.

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nielsencooking-blog · 6 years

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Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017

New Post has been published on http://nielsencooking.com/staff-picks-our-favorite-posts-of-2017/

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017

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2017 has been a pretty great year for Serious Eats. We’ve broken traffic records left and right, we’ve been lucky enough to hire some amazing new colleagues, and we’ve managed to crank out some top notch recipes, techniques, and features, all while juggling a host of different complicating factors—three babies were born (!), one of the head honchos got married (!!), and half the office got addicted to a silly trivia game on their iPhones (!!!). Here are some of our team’s favorite pieces of content from the year.

East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana

[Illustration: Laura Freeman]

A study abroad trip to Ghana leaves a student of color feeling profoundly othered, withdrawn from both his fellow travelers and the community he’d hoped would embrace him. The significance of food, family, and mealtimes courses through each juncture of the narrative—and lands the reader with an incredibly delicious recipe for peanutty, meaty groundnut soup.

It’s a moving and beautifully composed piece, but it’s the author’s powerful honesty and introspection that make this piece such an engaging read. Sara’o Bery is a longtime friend, which doesn’t always bode well for a joint professional undertaking, but in this case, I couldn’t be more thrilled to have played a part in giving this piece an audience. —Niki Achitoff-Gray, executive managing editor

Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »

Grilling With Vinegar

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

I have a lot of reasons to pick Michael Harlan Turkell’s summertime series on grilling with vinegar as my favorite post(s) of the year. First, selfishly, because it meant that I got to hang out with him multiple times throughout the summer as we worked our way through his recipes, using a grill we’d set up on a rooftop in Brooklyn. Standing in the sunshine and drinking cold beers with a friend while grilling up a storm is about as good as my job gets. But on top of that, I just love his recipes: He has so many creative, unexpected, and goddamned delicious ideas for how to use vinegar in grilled foods. There are the burgers spiked with Japanese black vinegar, dripping with melted cheese and slathered with a black olive mayo; there’s the tart and herbal chimichurri sauce spooned not onto the obvious steak but sweet and plump grilled squash instead; a Spanish-inspired grilled scallion and endive salad topped with a creamy, nutty, and spicy sauce; and—who can forget—grilled peaches on grilled poundcake with a perfectly sweet-sour cider-caramel sauce that should be a classic all on its own. —Daniel Gritzer, managing culinary director

Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »

Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Writing a post about cheesy bread could so easily become, well, cheesy. But Sohla’s cheesy bread post was so full of easy-to-digest, cheese-filled wit and wisdom I almost forgot it was about one of my favorite snacks in the world. Her post had me at the second line: “In our wedding vows, my husband promised to have and to hold and to always keep the fridge stocked with three varieties of cheddar.” She makes baking them sound like the easiest thing in the world, and for an unconfident baker like me, that is incredibly reassuring. And when you get to the end of the post, be prepared for one of the great visual kickers in Serious Eats’ eleven-year history. Thank you, Vicky Wasik. —Ed Levine, founder

Dive into the cheesy bread experience »

The Definitive Guide to Eggs

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

When I first started at Serious Eats earlier this year, the team was deep in the throes of developing The Definitive Guide to Eggs, a.k.a. “The Egg Page.” It was a gargantuan effort of collecting techniques, creating guides to the different shapes and sizes, decoding the terms and labels you find on the carton…the list goes on. It was perhaps the best way to get to know my new team. From the videos produced by the culinary and visual teams, to the user-friendly experience designed by our dev team, to every quick-hitting blurb written and edited by the editorial team, everything came together in a smart and savvy product. I’ve come to learn that such a product is standard at Serious Eats, thanks to the talented folks I get to call coworkers. —Kristina Bornholtz, social media editor

Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »

Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

I love how Sohla’s recipes often start with a story. From the first line, you’re with her in that airplane cabin hurtling its way towards Dhaka, tightly packed in with relatives and strangers alike passing the time by flinging heated opinions to and fro on what constitutes the best chaat, where to get it, and even when to consume it to mitigate the effects of certain digestive ailments. It sets the scene for how you should think about chaat: as a chaotic, beautiful mess of personal preferences synthesized and represented in a dish. It’s customizable, highly subjective, and somewhat hard to pin down, but Sohla does just that. She hands you the essential components, a roadmap to the key flavor profiles, and a dizzyingly detailed but comprehensively clear breakdown of the adjustments you can make to create a satisfying version of your own. My favorite part? How she describes kala namak, personified as a condiment with attitude that lends the dish’s foundational chaat masala spice blend “a bossy bit of savory funk.” Lyrical genius. —Marissa Chen, office manager

Read all about chaat »

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods

[Illustration: Katie Shelly]

Spending hours of my day geeking out with my coworkers about the most fantastic scenes of food and drink from our favorite childhood books and movies isn’t what I’d call “work.” Neither is having a serious discussion over whether the two pizza slices in the Saturday Night Fever illustration should be neatly stacked or remain slightly splayed, and whether the central figure was adequately representative of Tony Manero. Neither is eagerly, secretly reloading comments once the piece was published to see who out there might have been fascinated by some of the same things we were as kids. Writing and editing this post was delightful proof that nothing unites like youthful nerdery. —Miranda Kaplan, editor

Check out our favorite fictional foods »

How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

The state of salad in this country is a sordid mess, and the problem starts with the greens. Take a stroll down the salad aisle in any supermarket and you’ll see stacks upon stacks of prewashed stuff—salad mixes and plastic clamshells filled with insipid “baby” lettuces—as if all good taste had been sacrificed to the great god of Convenience. There is a reason bottled salad dressing is so aggressive, so cloyingly sweet: Good greens don’t need much more than a little acid and good olive oil, or a light vinaigrette. Daniel offers up what might seem like remedially simple advice in this post, but it’s advice that is sorely needed. Salad shouldn’t be a chore to make, or to eat; salad should be celebrated, from the moment you purchase the greens until you finish your plate. All it takes is a little care, a little inspiration in the supermarket aisle, a tiny wee bit of patience once in a while, and you’ll be surprised at how much you look forward to the salad portion of a meal. —Sho Spaeth, features editor

Read more about how to step up your salad game »

The Best Things I Ate in Japan

[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]

I’ve never been obsessed with the idea of seeing (or eating my way through) Japan. I love traveling, sure, and Japan is on my list, but it was never particularly high on my list until I edited Daniel’s essay on his favorite bites from a visit there. This is not a travel piece, not a series of restaurant reviews, and not a primer on Japanese foods that are uncommon in the West, but it includes elements of all three, and the result is a low-key window into the country’s cuisine that makes it seem simultaneously more approachable and more exciting to me than before. It just might convince you that blowfish sperm is a thing you want to put in your mouth. —Miranda Kaplan, editor

Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »

The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas

[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]

Kenji’s “Kickass Quesadilla” post is probably the one I used the most this year. There are three recipes attached, but let’s be honest, you don’t need them. If you’re anything like me, your quesadillas are rarely pre-planned beyond gazing into your fridge and realizing you have tortillas, cheese, maybe some random leftovers/vegetables/pickles, and a strong desire not to go outside. That’s really all you need to make a good quesadilla, but if you read Kenji’s tips and apply them, you’ll almost certainly make a great one. —Paul Cline, developer

Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »

The Pho I Lost

[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]

I have the pleasure of sitting next to Sho at the office. While I sometimes jokingly refer to him as the office curmudgeon, he has come to be a good friend and I appreciate how discerning he is about pretty much everything. I think this friendship really developed after I read his story about pho, taste memory, and his mother. I admired the courage (and ability) it took to write about and share the feelings and memories he describes. And the fact that he can eat two bowls of pho in one sitting (and do that every day for two-and-a-half weeks) is just…well, that’s something to respect. —Ariel Kanter, marketing director

Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »

For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

The piña colada is one of those things—like pasta —that is surprisingly hard to get a good version of when you’re eating out. Growing up, the PC was a special-occasion drink and my mom’s go-to at our family’s Italian weddings. That’s where I first had one, at around 12 years old, when she ordered a small (not virgin) one for me—God bless European parents. I love Daniel’s story because the big tip—to freeze everything—is that one little step that can make your shopping trip to buy coconut cream worth it. Trust me, I made several batches of these while testing blenders and it works. The taste is sweet, but not too sweet, with clean, creamy coconut and pineapple flavors, and just the right amount of rum. —Sal Vaglica, equipment editor

Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »

What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate

[Photograph: Emily Dryden]

I like to think I know a little bit about Korea: I’ve had Korean friends my entire life, I’ve been there more than a few times, and my father has lived in Seoul for close to a decade now. So I also thought I knew pretty much all there was to know about soju, the nation’s ubiquitous and beloved liquor. When we got the pitch for this piece, what struck me most wasn’t just my own ignorance about soju’s long history (I am never, ever surprised by the depths of my ignorance); it was how little had been written about the liquor anywhere else. This was an untold story in English, one that we were in a unique position to be able to offer a wide audience. Add to that the fact that in delving into the story of what “traditional” soju is, Josh managed to weave into the narrative much of what makes South Korea such a remarkable place—its ultra rapid industrialization and modernization, its skyrocketing cultural capital—and I can say without a doubt that it was my favorite feature of 2017. It was a privilege to publish it. —Sho Spaeth, features editor

Read more about soju »

How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Nothing grabs my attention more than the thrilling histories behind iconic foods. Lucky, that’s Stella’s forte, as she dives deep into the corporate intrigue and betrayal behind the beloved biscuit. Walking down the snack aisle has never felt the same after reading about the cutthroat cookie war that culminated with Oreo taking the throne. I’m eagerly awaiting the movie adaptation. —Sohla El-Waylly, assistant culinary editor

A rich and totally unexpected look at the origin of Oreos, by the one and only Stella Parks. I am lucky enough to work with Stella once a month, where I have the pleasure of witnessing her deep knowledge base and attention to detail first-hand. It’s front and center in this piece, as is her intense curiosity about all things pastry-related. Her approachable and snarky style makes it all the more enjoyable—phrases like “they might as well have told Oreos to get off their lawn” pepper the piece throughout. Humor aside, it’s a zippy and fun exploration of a history you never knew you wanted to know. —Natalie Holt, video producer

Get the full history of Oreos »

A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)

[Illustration: Alex Citrin]

This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »

Obsessed: A Man and His Mold

[Photograph: Chris Anderson]

Man, Rich Shih is smart. And he’s passionate as hell. His responses to the interview questions in this article are so in-depth and intelligent that you might think they were heavily edited, but I had the pleasure of meeting Rich (and making miso with him) in the office, and he really is that knowledgable. And that knowledge is built on a fervent curiosity. This isn’t his day job—it isn’t even related—but he is all-in on his koji project, devoting years to researching and experimenting with the stuff. I can attest to the results being delicious. The article is also accompanied by gorgeous photographs of close-up mold spores and fermented products. Kudos to Sho and his wonderful “Obsessed” series about the passionate amateur and professional foodies of this world. —Tim Aikens, front-end developer

Catch the koji bug, right this way »

For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

When Stella told me she was developing a granola recipe to shoot on her next trip up to NYC, I didn’t give it a second thought. I mean, granola is great and all, but why would I spend the time making it when I can easily pop into my corner grocery store and grab any of the 10 varieties they have in stock at any given time? And then I ate it. And then I ate MORE of it. And then I took the entire jar from the photoshoot home and finished it in less than a week. This is the most addictive snack I’ve ever had. And it’s granola so…it’s good for you…right? I made it a few weeks later when my craving kicked in. It’s definitely a labor of love, but well worth the effort! —Vicky Wasik, visual director

Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »

The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Chicken pot pie is one of those recipes I’ve always been too intimidated to tackle; all my life I’ve resorted to frozen Marie Callender’s. Don’t get me wrong, those frozen pies are still delicious, but when Stella came out with her savory pie, it gave me the confidence to give it a try. Who knew making the roux would turn out to be so easy? I also love having the freedom to add whatever fillings I want, and it’s now a crowd favorite among my friends and family. I even got my roommate to give it a try, too, which means double the pot pies at home! —Vivian Kong, designer

Dig into some chicken pot pie »

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cucinacarmela-blog · 6 years

Text

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017

New Post has been published on http://cucinacarmela.com/staff-picks-our-favorite-posts-of-2017/

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017

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East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana

[Illustration: Laura Freeman]

Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »

Grilling With Vinegar

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »

Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Dive into the cheesy bread experience »

The Definitive Guide to Eggs

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »

Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read all about chaat »

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods

[Illustration: Katie Shelly]

Check out our favorite fictional foods »

How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read more about how to step up your salad game »

The Best Things I Ate in Japan

[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]

Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »

The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas

[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]

Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »

The Pho I Lost

[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]

Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »

For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »

What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate

[Photograph: Emily Dryden]

Read more about soju »

How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Get the full history of Oreos »

A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)

[Illustration: Alex Citrin]

This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »

Obsessed: A Man and His Mold

[Photograph: Chris Anderson]

Catch the koji bug, right this way »

For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »

The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Dig into some chicken pot pie »

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sloan01 · 6 years

Photo

New Post has been published on http://www.cooksutopia.com/staff-picks-our-favorite-posts-of-2017/

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017

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East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana

[Illustration: Laura Freeman]

Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »

Grilling With Vinegar

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »

Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Dive into the cheesy bread experience »

The Definitive Guide to Eggs

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »

Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read all about chaat »

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods

[Illustration: Katie Shelly]

Check out our favorite fictional foods »

How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read more about how to step up your salad game »

The Best Things I Ate in Japan

[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]

Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »

The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas

[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]

Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »

The Pho I Lost

[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]

Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »

For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »

What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate

[Photograph: Emily Dryden]

Read more about soju »

How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Get the full history of Oreos »

A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)

[Illustration: Alex Citrin]

This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »

Obsessed: A Man and His Mold

[Photograph: Chris Anderson]

Catch the koji bug, right this way »

For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »

The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Dig into some chicken pot pie »

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jlcolby · 6 years

Photo

New Post has been published on http://cookingtipsguide.com/staff-picks-our-favorite-posts-of-2017/

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Posts of 2017

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East, West, Then Backward: Falling for Groundnut Soup in Ghana

[Illustration: Laura Freeman]

Read the full story about Ghanaian groundnut soup »

Grilling With Vinegar

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read our full series on grilling with vinegar »

Cheesy Bread Is Absurdly Good, No Matter What You Call It

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Dive into the cheesy bread experience »

The Definitive Guide to Eggs

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Explore the Serious Eats Definitive Guide to Eggs »

Chaat Your Mouth: How to Make the South Asian Street Food at Home

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read all about chaat »

Staff Picks: Our Favorite Fictional Foods

[Illustration: Katie Shelly]

Check out our favorite fictional foods »

How to Make a Mixed-Green Salad Like You Actually Care

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Read more about how to step up your salad game »

The Best Things I Ate in Japan

[Photographs: Daniel Gritzer]

Join Daniel on his culinary adventure through Japan »

The Food Lab: How to Make Kickass Quesadillas

[Photograph: J. Kenji López-Alt]

Check out our quesadilla pro-tips »

The Pho I Lost

[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]

Read about Sho’s long-lost pho »

For the Most Flavorful Piña Colada, Freeze Everything

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Learn how to make piña coladas like a boss »

What Is “Traditional” Soju?: A Spirited Debate

[Photograph: Emily Dryden]

Read more about soju »

How Oreos Got Their Name: The Rise of an American Icon/h3>

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Get the full history of Oreos »

A Losers’ Thanksgiving: No One Knows Your Name (But All Are Welcome)

[Illustration: Alex Citrin]

This story had me hooked from the get-go and held me straight through til the end, a tale of frozen misery, daring hope, social ambition, and conquering life with pie. —Stella Parks, pastry wizard

Read Sohla’s heartwarming holiday tale »

Obsessed: A Man and His Mold

[Photograph: Chris Anderson]

Catch the koji bug, right this way »

For the Lightest, Crispiest Granola, Grab the Buttermilk

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Find out what makes Stella’s granola so great »

The Best Chicken Pot Pie, With Biscuits or Pastry

[Photograph: Vicky Wasik]

Dig into some chicken pot pie »

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