#helped by being written and performed by a married gay couple
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Pairing: Alden Parker x Fem!Reader
Summary: you meet Alden at your brother's bar and end up performing a song with him
Words count: 4.7k
Warnings: age gap, meet cute, open mic session, drunk!Alden, reader was a surrogate, gay brother, married gay couple, Alden's friends being pains, Alden being the best man ever, first kiss in public
Fix you ~ Alden Parker
Saturday night.
Your brother's bar.
You always spend your weekends here. Most of the time, you end up waitressing or just bartending if you don't feel like interacting too much with people. You love this place, it has lots of regular customers so you know most of them. Some actually became your friends, or at least buddies. And when someone you've never seen before comes in, you immediately spot them.
So when a group of guys entered the bar for the first time, you studied them. You were waitressing that night, so you came up to their table once they settled. You took a look at the four of them, studying them a little more and asked for their orders. "First time here!" You smiled as you came back with their drinks.
"Yeah, a coworker keeps telling us about this place so we thought we'd check it out." One of them answered.
"What's this coworker's name?" You asked.
One of them said a name you've never heard of, but another guy quickly corrected. "In our line of work, we usually call each other by our last name." He added. And indeed you knew their coworker, and got surprised that he wasn't there too.
"Why isn't he with you?" You said, putting down the last drink.
"He's on duty."
"Right. FBI, yes?"
"Us, yes. This one--" they pointed at the man with the most amazing head of hair you've never seen before. "Joined the dark side."
"I suppose it doesn't mean that you turned into a criminal?" You smiled at him and he chuckled.
"No, I just joined another agency."
"But he was a juvie once." His friend grinned and the man shot him a death stare.
"From a kid who got into trouble to another, your drink is on me." You winked at him and left their table. You let your brother know not to count one of the beers.
You went on with your evening, working, exchanging and laughing with people. Eventually, your brother started the open mic session, and several people got on stage, one after the other. Some sang, others played the instruments. And as always, it wasn't long until one of your friends called out for you to get on stage too. You always fainted annoyance but loved going on stage with your guitar. That night, you chose a rock ballad, and for four minutes, it was just you and your instrument, just the way you love it. You opened your eyes a few times to look at everyone sitting there, and somehow you ended up looking at this man. His eyes were glued to you, his emotions written all over his face. This is something you love about performing music; making people feel things.
Everyone cheered when you were done, and you locked eyes with the man again. You noticed his friends being all over him. At first, you wondered if they were teasing him about you, and kinda hoped they were. One of them called out for you, so you went over to their table. "We need your help!" He said. "Parker is refusing to go up there and play drums. Can you convince him?"
You grinned, but Parker talked before you could say anything. "Don't bother, I'm not that good."
"Bullshit! You rock!" His friends shouted and he rolled his eyes.
"What if we do a song together?" You offered.
"No way. You are so amazing, I'm just going to ruin your performance."
"I don't believe you. You can choose the song! I'm sure we can find something that'll suit both of us."
Parker was torn. The idea of sharing a moment like this with the beautiful waitress was appealing, but he really thought he'd embarrassed himself. "I'm gonna need something stronger first." He said, holding his empty beer glass. Grinning, you grabbed it from his hand, your fingers brushing his. "Can I fix you something of my own creation?" You asked, your hand still above his around the glass.
"I'd love that." He smiled. God, was he charming.
"Okay, so only Parker gets a special treatment?" You heard one of his friends say as you were walking away. You looked over your shoulder to them and expressively winked.
"Is he going to be the one who gets you to break your own rule?" Your brother-in-law teased you, as you were making the drink for Parker. You elbowed him in the ribs.
"I flirt all the time with the customers. Why do you think they all come back?"
"I'm no arguing with that. But you never blush around them."
You hated that he was right. You felt your cheeks heating when Parker smiled at you and even more when you felt his skin against yours. You didn't know the guy, he was obviously older than you, and he was probably just having fun with his friends - maybe he wasn't even single -, but you felt an incredible attraction towards him. Like he could ruin you with just one look.
You were finishing the drink when you heard someone on the right side of the bar. Parker. You nodded in acknowledgment and a few seconds later, you were walking towards him with the drink. "I'd have brought it to you." You said.
"I know, I- I'm actually looking for the bathroom."
"Yeah sure, it's right over there." You pointed towards where the bathroom was. "I'll put this on your table."
"No" he interjected. "Can you keep here for a minute? I'm sure one of them will take a sip and they will not give up until I go on stage, so- um-"
Was he embarrassed by his friends' forcing his hand to play drums or just embarrassed to talk to you? There was no way you could intimidated a man like him, so it had to be the first option. You told him you'd wait and he was gone. You grabbed your brother-in-law on his way back to the bar, "Can I take five?"
"Am I the boss?"
"You're his better half."
"True. However, if it turns out you took a break to meet your silver fox in the bathroom, I'll not be anything anymore."
"What? No! You're crazy! I'm not going to-" He laughed loudly, earning a punch in his shoulder this time. "Jerk."
"You're not technically working here, hon. Get to know him. I promise you he's not gay. One of his friends though-"
"Which one?"
He was about to answer but stopped when he saw Parker coming back. "She's the best, you'll love her--drink." Subtle. Very subtle.
Parker agreed to follow you outside, behind the building. It was a small area, where customers weren't allowed. "I come here when it feels too packed inside. My brother comes here to smoke." You grabbed the full ashtray and got rid of the content in the bin at the very end.
"Which one is your brother?" You told him. "So it makes the one who said you're the best, your brother-in-law?"
You smiled. "Yup, they've been together for nine years, married for three and they have a little one who's with the grandparents tonight."
"Aw, how old?"
You grabbed your phone from your bra and showed him your lock screen. A recent picture of your one year old niece. You chose not to tell him you were the surrogate. Parker didn't appear like the kind of man who'd judge, but it was extremely private and you didn't really know him yet. "She's adorable! I'm sure she has the entire family wrapped around her finger."
"You have no idea. My dad being on top of that list."
Parker often wondered how his own dad would have been if he had kids. His parents didn't get to see their grandchildren grow up much as both his siblings are in the Navy and always assigned away from DC. If he had a little girl, would she have had Roman wrapped around her finger? If she had your beautiful face, he was sure of it. But why the hell was he thinking about that?
"By the way, this is amazing!" He said, raising his glass a little. "Multi talented, I see."
"Don't expect any more of them." You blushed, again.
"I most definitely am." He smirked, making you blush even more and look down at your shoes for a moment.
"So, um, you coming on stage with me?"
"Yeah, but I'd like to apologize right now if it turns to be a bad experience for you."
"I'm sure you're underestimating yourself. Is there a song in particular you'd feel comfortable with?"
"Sound of silence?" He offered, earning a smile from you. "I really love Bowie so I know a few of him. And lately, I've been into Coldplay and Imagine Dragons if it-"
"Please tell me you can do Fix you, by Coldplay."
Parker shyly smiled. "I think I can."
"Perfect. As much as I love your other options, it has to be this one."
He loved how excited you got. He would learn any song you'd want to play with him just to make you happy and smile like this.
"I do need the liquor courage first."
You and Parker kept talking about the song and your upcoming performance while he drank and finished his special drink. Every second with him felt like a privilege. Watching him drink something you made and appreciating it, listening to him talk about music, the way his eyes locked into yours like he could read you like an open book, smelling his intoxicating cologne. And boy did you want to touch that hair of his.
Finally, you got back inside, Parker opening and holding the door for you like a gentleman. You took the empty glass from his hand, fingers brushing again, and put it away behind the counter.
You joined him on the side of the small stage. If he was yours, you'd just have hugged him from behind, kissed the back of neck and watched the performance like that even if you had to tiptoe the entire time. But he was basically a stranger, so you just stood next to him. You could feel his eyes on you every other second, the back of his hand was against yours. You felt things in your stomach that you never felt before.
You offered him your hand when the stage cleared out. Parker took a deep breath before sliding his hand into yours. You looked at each other, both aware of that strange yet amazing feeling that went between you and him.
You grabbed the guitar, and Parker behind the drums. His friends immediately cheered. "Me again," you said on the mic. "But I got a friend this time and it's his first time here, so can you guys help me making Parker feel a bit more comfortable?" The entire bar cheered. You looked at him with a smile and winked. "You ready, P?" He nodded.
During the song, you kept looking behind you. You wanted, needed to see him play. His hair being all over the place, him being completely into it, his muscles showing off under his shirt. Whenever he looked up to you, even for a second, he smiled. He mouthed the lyrics with you.
You finished the song a cappella, not looking away from Parker.
'Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you'
For a second, neither of you heard the people clapping. You were just staring at each other, lost in something intense. Parker is the one who got back to reality first, standing up to meet you in the middle of the stage. You put the guitar down, stepped away, but before you could any further, he grabbed your arm, making you spin. "Can I hug you?" You nodded.
His arms wrapped around your neck, and yours were around his waist. You felt tiny and loved every second of it. Parker held you tight, his cheek against your head. "Thank you for this." He whispered. "You're incredible."
"So are you, P."
He grinned cause he almost believed you.
Parker went back to his friends, drinking a little more, while you helped your boys again. Your brother-in-law teased you any opportunity he had, while your brother let his eyes and smile talk. You knew he'd open his mouth in a quieter setting.
"You're not leaving this bar without her number, Park!"
"I don't think she's-"
"She is."
"I didn't even finish my sentence!"
"Doesn't matter. She's interested, she's into you, she wants you to ask her. Just fucking go!"
"She's young enough to be my daughter I'm sure." He hated saying those words.
Parker saw one of his friends standing up and walking over to you. He watched as you smiled, and blushed. But you walked away too quickly. "She's willing to give you her number if you ask her." His friend informed.
"Thanks for making me look like a teenager who's too afraid to approach a girl."
"Cause that's exactly what you are, right now."
He finished his other drink. At this point, he was on the verge of being pretty drunk. One more drink, and he'd go on stage again, and sing a love song for you. But until that, he got up and went to the right side of the bar again. You were cleaning some glasses, and talking with a man sitting at the counter. It took you a moment to notice Parker.
"Can I help you with something?" You asked.
"I'm sorry about Fish, he's- actually, I'm sorry about myself. I don't know what I'm doing here. I haven't dated in a while, and most definitely not a young and gorgeous thing like you- not that I'm asking you to date me- but- um- oh god." He growled, inaudibly cursed and dramatically dropped his head on his hands on the counter. Your heart completely melted.
You put one of your hands in the back of his neck, and felt his body react to that, but he didn't move. You lowered his head very close to his and started to say numbers. Very slowly, you repeated them. "If it's a fake number, I wouldn't blame you." He finally raised from his arms, still resting his elbows on the counter. You matched his position, your face being very close to his.
"Repeat it to me, Parker." He correctly did. "Good job." You gently kissed the corner of his mouth. His beard was going to give you face burns for sure, but you couldn't bring yourself to care one bit. One of his hands grabbed yours, and squeezed.
"A man walks into a bar..." He said, as the famous joke goes, "and meet the woman of his dreams." He brushed your nose with his index finger before kissing it. He saw your confused face, silently asking why the nose. "The first kiss with that woman cannot happen while he's drunk, in a crowded bar, with about a dozen of men wanting to kick his ass."
You looked around and saw a few heads immediately turning away, like they've been caught staring.
"Call me, Parker."
"When?"
"Whenever you want."
"I'm gonna go, before I forget what I just said and kiss you here and there."
You flattened your hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. You wanted a very special first kiss with him, and you knew he was going to make it perfect.
Parker and his friends were the last to leave. As it slowed down at the bar, Fish invited you to sit with them, and Parker - who was drinking water then - immediately grabbed a chair, setting it very close to his. A coke appeared in front of you, courtesy of your brother-in-law. "My poison." You told Parker, who couldn't take his eyes off you.
"I'll keep that in mind."
His friends started to bombard you with questions, where you're from, what you do for a living, are you single, what are your hobbies... You started to answer each, before Parker spoke up, "Guys, stop stealing my material. I want to discover her by myself."
"Gatekeeping her already? That didn't take long."
"I promise you, you won't have to deal with them much." Parker told you.
You giggled and saw your brothers staring from the counter. "Wish I could say the same about those two."
The conversation went on about several things, and at some point, you felt Parker's hand on your thigh. He looked shy, scared you were going to throw his hand away but he grinned like a happy boy when you covered his hand with yours and intertwined all ten fingers. Despite drinking water, he was still drunk and he was fighting to keep his eyes open. "Which one of you is the DD?" You asked.
"The Uber driver." Fish answered.
In the end, you drove them all back home. Four different stops, they each gave you some money for the gas, that you refused but Parker took it for you. He was basically sleeping on the passenger seat when you reached his address, that you luckily noted before leaving the bar. You looked at him for a moment, how peaceful and handsome he looked. You had no idea where this was going, but you couldn't wait to find out.
"Wake up, sleepyhead." You stroked his beard and hair, earning a noise that sounded like a purr from him.
"Where are we?" He asked, barely opening his eyes.
"Right in front your building. Ready to move?"
He turned his face to look at you. "Not ready to leave you."
You leaned over to him and kissed his cheek. "We'll meet again soon, I promise. You remember my number?"
"Saved it in my phone already. Let me check I got it right."
He took his phone out of his pocket, struggled for a bit to find your contact info and called. Your phone buzzed and his number appeared. "I'm not that drunk!" He lifted his fists in victory, making you laugh.
You saved his number too. "what's your last name?"
"Huh?"
"Your last name? To save you in my phone?"
"Oh. Parker."
"What, you're Parker Parker?"
You both looked at each other, puzzled. "I'm Alden Parker." He told you and you let out a very long "aaaah".
"Sorry for calling you Parker the entire night."
"You can call me anything you want, beautiful."
Even drunk and half asleep, he was still a flirt.
That night, you fell asleep thinking about Alden Parker.
And you woke up to a text from him.
Alden Parker: Good morning. Thank you for texting me last night to let me know you got home safely. I hope you slept well after that! I want to apologize if I made a fool of myself last night. I really hope I didn't make you uncomfortable at any point nor that you felt pressure by me and/or my stupid friends. I'd really love to see you again, but if it's not the case for you, you can say so and I'll let you be 😊 I wish you a lovely Sunday.
PS: Performing with you was incredible. Thank you very much for that!
Did this man know how adorable and loving he was?
You: Hello A L D E N. I think all of this should be discussed face to face, don't you agree? I have family lunch, but should be free after 4. Or another day, you tell me...
Alden Parker: Tell me when and where I need to pick you up.
Sunday lunch is a family tradition. Meeting around 11am at your parents house, having lunch, talking, playing board games. But usually, you show up dressed very casually, either leggins or sweatpants, sneakers, hoodies if it's cold. But that day, you showed up in a dress, making everyone suspicious. "Are you going somewhere later today, honey?" Your mom asked, as you were saying hello to your niece.
"You bet she is!" Your brother-in-law chimed in.
"You're going on a date with him, aren't you?" Your brother asked.
"Who? Did you meet someone? Do you two know him?" Your mom asked to the boys.
"You people are too noisy."
"I agree!" Your dad appeared and hugged you. "You do look beautiful. He's probably not good enough for you."
"Dad." No man would never good enough for you, according to your father. You only noticed your mother clearly interrogating your brothers. "Baby, go with pop, I need to teach your dads a lesson."
After a fight and a long argument, everyone agreed to stop talking about the night before and Alden. Your mother did get a description of him and was very pleased. No one commented on the obvious age difference, and you loved that about them. You were an adult, able to make your own decisions. All they cared about was you not being hurt in any way, by anyone. "You're finally gonna have an uncle." They made your niece clap her hands.
4:10pm, the spot you told Alden to pick you up. He was already parked when you arrived, leaning against his car. His face lit up when he saw you, he opened the backseat door to grab something. A sunflower. You hadn't reach him yet and your heart was already at his feet. "Hi," he offered you the flower. You looked at it, smelled it, looked at him and kissed his cheek.
"Hey,"
"From my own little oasis." He pointed at the sunflower.
"You grow sunflowers!?"
"I grow- many things." He helped you inside the car and the ride started with him telling you about his passion for plants. You didn't know a thing about it as it never peaked your interest, but you could listen to him talk for hours.
It was only when he parked that you realized you had no idea where he was taking you. "You can leave the sunflower on the dashboard, it'll enjoy the sun." You did so.
"What's the plan?" You asked.
"Well there are two plans. Plan A and plan B."
You laughed. "Okay, why would you need a plan B?"
"In case you ate too much at your parents and can't fathom the idea of eating more right now."
"Well, if you expect me to eat a whole meal, maybe we should go for B."
"But what about pastries?"
"As a sweet tooth, you got my interest."
"The woman of my dreams, proof four." He said as he got out of the car. You waited for him to open the passenger door for you, knowing it was the kind of thing he'd do.
"What are proofs one, two and three?" You asked, as you were walking hand in hand.
"You're gorgeous, you're a musician, you're a family person."
Why did it feel like you've known this man your entire life when you only met him the night before?
He let go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him. "Just because you're the woman of my dreams, doesn't mean I have to be the man of yours." He whispered in your ear. And he meant it.
"But what if you are?" You got even closer, wanting to feel all of him.
"Then I'm the luckiest bastard in the world." He kissed your hair.
Despite being born in DC, you'd never been to this place Alden took you. There was a selection of pastries that all looked good and appetizing, it was a nightmare to choose, so you trusted his suggestions. With a few pastries on the table, you and Alden shared. Switching from one to another, him feeding you with his own spoon every now and then. "You're feeding me more than you're eating." You smiled behind your napkin, hoping there was nothing around your mouth to not make a fool of yourself.
"I enjoy seeing you eat. I like the sounds you make." Alden blushed as soon as the words left his mouth.
"My turn." You grabbed a spoon of what seemed to be his personal favorite, and fed him. He let out a soft 'hmm'. "You made that sound on purpose, didn't you?"
"I would never." He defended himself with a grin saying otherwise.
You got to know each other more, discover about the other's life. You learned that he had been married for ten years, but that ended a while ago. You told him about your failed attempt at relationships, including that one particular, cause it was very serious until…
"If you don't want to tell me what happened, it's okay." He assured you.
"It's not- I want to tell you, I'm just afraid you're gonna rush into that window."
"At this point, you could be a criminal, and I wouldn't even do that."
"What a cop that you are." You laughed. "Okay. Um, I'm just going to say it. I was my brother's surrogate."
"You were?" He warmly smiled and you nodded. "That's- probably the biggest proof of love a sister can do for her sibling." You were taken aback by his comment. Your ex left you over it, and you never told anyone after that.
"You really think so?"
"Heck yeah. I mean, you carried this baby for nine months, delivered it and dealt with everything a pregnancy does. I've seen my sister struggling for months when she was pregnant. And you did that for your brother and his husband. I admire you for it."
You got rid of the tear threatening to fall before it did. Your family praised you for it, and they still did. Your parents, especially your mother, were impressed by what you did, but no one outside of them did. Alden grabbed your hand and softly stroked the back with his thumb. "You're even more amazing than I thought." He said before bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it.
"I'm glad you're still here. Thank you."
"Can I just have you one question?"
"No, I did not have sex with my brother nor his husband." You both laughed.
"I promise it wasn't my question. Wasn't it too hard after you- gave birth to her?"
"It was weird to be honest, but no. I knew it wasn't my baby. I was just the oven. Plus, she's in my life and I see her all the time."
"You make it hard for me not to kiss you right now."
You wanted that kiss. You were waiting for it. Several times, you were the one who almost gave in and grabbed Alden by the neck. But you were happy with your self control, because the wait was worth it.
After leaving that place, Alden showed you what plan B was. A walk through the botanic garden. You couldn't remember the last time you went there, probably when you were still in school. Who needs a guide in there when you have Alden Parker by your side, telling you everything he knows, showing up his favorite plants and flowers, while holding your hand or your waist. You took several pictures, including selfies with him. Eventually, he offered you to stop on a little bench, next to a magnificent exposure. "I'm usually not this fast into dating," he confessed. "At my age, I like to take my time, make sure it can work. And honestly, I really don't understand how you can be interested in me, but I know I can't let you slip away from me. Whatever you have to give me, however long it lasts, I have to- have you." He had leaned in as he was talking, and you decided to close the ridiculous gap separating his lips from yours. You kissed right there, on the bench, in the botanic garden. Many people were passing by, but it was like no one else existed, like the world had stopped.
"I'm very interested in you, Alden Parker. Even more now." You said, foreheads pressed together.
"I want to be a gentleman, take you home and take you out again another time but-" he kissed you again and you eagerly responded.
"Take me to your home or mine, I don't care, as long as we go together."
You couldn't let him slip away from you either.
#ncis#alden parker#alden parker fanfic#alden parker imagine#ncis fanfiction#ncis imagine#alden parker x reader
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It tightens its grip when things go unsaid
A soft (??) 5x14 coda built on like a dozen posts I saw on my dash this morning. It sure went. A direction.
“Oh my god, you kept this?”
Eddie freezes in place, paused with his hands and the broccolini under the frigid water of the tap.
“Kept what?” he asks, attempting for casual. It had been a lot easier to maintain a calm disinterest before Frank but as it turns out, part of getting better was giving up playing numb.
Buck pulls the drawing off the fridge, and Eddie squeezes his eyes shut. Gives himself that much longer to deny it.
“Eddie,” Buck prompts, and there’s laughter in his voice but there’s something else too. Something softer, gentler.
“It was — Chris said I—” and he pauses again. Because yes, Chris had said he should keep Buck’s heart drawing, but that wasn’t why Eddie had done it. And he’s spent enough time filtering his feelings towards Buck through Chris. “I liked it.”
Buck snorts and pins it back under the magnets. “Makes me feel bad. I shoulda drawn you a better one.”
“I didn’t draw you one at all,” Eddie replies which is probably nonsensical.
“It’s not like I’ve got a fridge to hang it on anymore anyway,” Buck points out.
He doesn’t. Not with the way he’s been sleeping on Eddie’s couch since he ceded his apartment in the breakup. He’s been in Eddie’s house for two weeks now and Eddie can’t fathom how Buck has missed the drawing so far.
It’s later when they’re on shift, and everyone else is passed out, that Eddie gets the idea. They don’t exactly keep craft supplies around the station, but he finds some paper and a pencil and by the time Bobby wakes up to come get started on breakfast, Eddie’s gone a bit overboard. Partway into the exercise, he’d noticed one of Hen’s surgical textbooks lying in the loft and flipped it to the relevant page, and as it turns out, the art classes he’d taken in high school — the ones he’d insisted were just because he was crushing on a girl, which made them acceptable — hadn’t quite worn off.
The piece of art he’s scribbled down in graphite isn’t quite an anatomical heart and it isn’t quite a photorealistic depiction from the textbook and it isn’t quite the cartoony simplicity Buck had given him. It’s not nearly so digestible and easy to accept. He thinks the thing he’s supposed to do with something like this is being it to his therapist the way a pet cat brings a dead animal, but he doesn’t. Instead, he avoids Bobby’s questioning gaze and takes it downstairs. He tapes it to the inside door of their locker, and forgets about it seconds later because the bell goes.
He doesn’t think about it again until the second Buck opens their locker after their shift is done. He pauses, head tilting sideways, and Eddie considers ducking behind the shelves and hiding his face in the stacks of towels.
“I didn’t know you could draw,” Buck says. “This is, like, cool.”
“What?” Eddie asks.
“It’s cool,” Buck says. He gently unpeels the tape from the locker and just stares down at the drawing. “Would it be weird if I got this as a tattoo?”
“If you got it as—seriously?”
Buck looks guileless when he lifts his gaze to meet Eddie’s eye. “I don’t have a fridge.”
Eddie almost points out that this is why he’d put it in the locker, but something in Buck’s face stops him. He almost points out that Buck’s skin is not interchangeable with a fridge, but he doesn’t do that either. It’s the visual representation of Eddie’s still battered but healing heart and Buck wants to ink it onto his own flesh.
“If you want,” Eddie says finally. “But I won’t be offended if you change your mind by the time you actually get in to see an artist.”
Buck grins but it’s too soft around the eyes to be a real flippant smile. “I won’t.”
#the title is from the song invisible thread#which is the most buddie song ever#helped by being written and performed by a married gay couple#9-1-1#911fic#buddie#buddie fic#eddie diaz#evan buckley#the ghost ship scribbles
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do you know Chinese symbolism for homosexuality?
tw homophobia, pedophilia
Hi again, for gay men there are a couple really well known ones but I’m not sure if they were real or fabricated, because all the articles describing them always cite the same couple sources from Antiquity... I tried to verify them but the only articles that didn’t copy and paste from the same source came across as extremely homophobic, so I decided to give up. The most common and reliable one is probably 断袖 or “cut sleeve”, which I mentioned in a previous ask. I would like to use this opportunity to talk about some tangential but more important topics regarding homosexuality in China though.
As a followup to my previous ask where I said I'd look through some Ming and Qing novels to see how homosexuality was perceived at the time, the conclusion I (unfortunately) came to was that homophobia was very much alive and well in Chinese literature and society. A lot of people like to argue that gay people fared pretty well in China historically by either pointing to emperors who were or were rumored to be gay or time periods where gay sex was prevalent as a form of consumption. This is extremely shallow and also kind of Orientalist in my opinion, these arguments always go for the emperors and do not take nuance into consideration or dive into wider societal discourses on homosexuality in imperial China. If you research homosexuality in Europe by only looking at royalty, you’ll find plenty of homosexual behavior too, does that mean gay people had it very easy in Europe historically?? Not to mention that they usually don’t differentiate between dynasties, let alone centuries or decades, even though public opinion on homosexuality in China (or anywhere in the world tbh) could change very quickly. This is also sort of Orientalist, assuming “imperial China” to be a never changing entity with a never changing stance on homosexuality. Since I know nothing prior to the Ming Dynasty I’ll share some of my random findings on homosexuality and homophobia in the Ming, Qing and 20th century.
Gayness as disease
Nowadays the symbol of the cut sleeve is just a benign historical allusion but historically it seems that it was used in a negative and condemning sense, implying that people thought of homosexuality as a disease or deviation from the norm. The common phrase used for the cut sleeve is "断袖之癖", usually translated as "the passion of the cut sleeve" nowadays, but the meaning of the word 癖 here leans more toward "fetish", "obsession" or "hobby" with pathological connotations. I thought maybe this word had a different, nuanced meaning historically but it seems that it was used to describe what it means :(( The only silver lining is probably that with the progression of language it isn’t offensive anymore.
In a lot of popular novels from the Ming and Qing, homosexuality was depicted as a "perversion" and a decadent lifestyle that plagues morality, and gay characters were often either killed or straightened out by the end of the story. An example of this is the story 黄九郎 Huang Jiulang from the series 聊斋志异 Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by 蒲松龄 Pu Songling written in the 17th century. In this story, one of the protagonists was gay; he died after confessing his love to the other guy in a very fast paced bury your gays arc which somehow reminded me of the Supernatural finale, and reincarnated as a straight man because of his piety. Thanks I hate it. Pu uses the symbol of the cut sleeve to refer to the protagonist, presumably in a negative manner.
Gayness as power/status symbol
Another thing was that historically in China a lot of people confused homosexuality with pedophilia. This is a global thing, but its presence in China is often overlooked. This could be seen in the popularity of another term for homosexuality, "娈童", meaning something similar to "pederasty". I read somewhere that since the late Ming, pederasty was considered a type of tasteful consumption for high society, along with things like fashion, food, music and art. This was not equivalent to the "cut sleeve" or homosexuality as we know it nowadays, which refers to a personal sexual orientation, pederasty historically often refers to an imbalanced power dynamic where a wealthy, privileged man takes advantage of a young boy as a leisurely activity. It’s more to show off that someone in a position of privilege and wealth has the power to procure sexual objects, gender and age don’t matter much in this regard. I cannot help but cringe violently whenever someone brings up pederasty as proof of China’s historical “openness” toward gay people. Talk to me again when in this time and place you could marry someone of your sex (not a minor) and be considered a respectable couple instead of two jerks with a degenerate fetish (not saying that gay people have to marry, it’s just that the ability to do so is an important indicator of equality imo). Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same good heavens.
I hypothesize that the reason why Chinese society was historically homophobic despite having no religious condemnation of homosexual individuals was the idea that having many concubines and male children was a status symbol for men. Women of marriageable age were seen more or less as commodities and male children could supposedly "continue the bloodline" 传香火 and were vessels for passing down prestige, so having them were of utmost importance to a privileged man. Being just gay or lesbian, however, meant that you didn't perform the "man strong working woman weak making babies" heteronormative family prototype, and was thus prone to criticism. When gay men didn’t have children they “couldn’t continue their bloodline” and were emasculated, when gay women didn’t have children they failed to “fulfill their duties as a woman” and were shamed.
It kind of makes sense considering how being bisexual was never a problem in comparison, especially for men. If you were a rich guy who had both male and female partners, you would still have children and concubines both male and female so nobody gives a shit. Emperor Zhengde of the Ming (reign 1505-21) was presumably bisexual and had both male and female lovers, nobody had a bone to pick with that; he famously liked to fuck around but those who criticized him did so for his debauchery instead of focusing on the gender of his partners. This is different to homophobia in Europe where same sex attraction was considered evil and immoral in and of itself because of religious reasons, in China it was rather the other practical implications of homosexuality (not having children or a family) that attracted hate.
By the way can we just take a moment to talk about bi erasure in Chinese history. From all accounts of Emperor Zhengde I’ve read he comes across as extremely bisexual, but a lot of people try to make him a gay icon? I mean, he liked women too.
One interesting homophobic angle in ye olde China which I find kind of funny was straight women who wanted to climb the social ladder by marrying rich men talking shit about them after figuring out they were gay lmao. Historically, there were not so many work opportunities for women, so the easiest way to improve social standing was to marry a rich and powerful guy. Not saying that women didn't work, they did but their upward social mobility was restricted because they couldn't enter the imperial examination system which was how men became rich and powerful. This angle is relatively benign and kind of helps illustrate that historical Chinese homophobia was indeed fueled by classism and patriarchy.
Gayness as crime
I used to think that there were no anti-sodomy statutes in China (laws prohibiting sex between gay men), but it turns out that there was one decree in the Jiajing era (1521-67) and one in 1740, and private gay sex was not actually decriminalized until 1957. Same sex marriage is still not legal in China at time of writing. I couldn’t find detailed information on what these laws entailed or how they were enforced, but they’re enough to prove that homosexuality in China was legally punishable from the 16th century onward. On top of that, even when there was no law prohibiting private sex acts between people of the same sex, displays of gay affection such as kissing or holding hands could still be legally punished under “public indecency” or “hooliganism”, which was frequently what happened in the 20th century.
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@peregrer the What. 👀👀👀 *insert John Mulaney gif of "say more right now"*
ok so when I say "the extent to which I've fleshed out the QT GBBO AU in my head is getting to be embarrassing," I truly and deeply mean it, please enjoy 1,900 words of utter ridiculousness.
first, our competitors:
Legarus - performs so poorly that viewers are a bit confused how he got on the show in the first place, a la Jamie (series 10) or that one guy who made a lime and chocolate cake in the first week.
Chloe - nice flavors and good ideas for decorations, but pretty sloppy. was up for elimination in the first week but came back with a great showstopper.
Melheret - good but not as good as he thinks he is (hence his bread week elimination because of sloppy technique), heavy-handed with the alcohol flavoring
Agape - solid competitor, not flashy but tasty + pretty results. I haven't worked out exact week-by-week themes (that would indeed be Too Much) but I imagine this is something like "Dairy" or "Caramel" or "Vegan," some particular element she just happens to not be strong on. viewers are disappointed by her early elimination
Teleus - Dad contestant. brings in a bunch of weird pans and gadgets he made up himself, does pretty well until it comes to Fiddly Foreign Foods he doesn't know (probably eliminated in French or Patisserie week)
Laela - typically has good flavors and pretty designs but technical knowledge is a bit lacking, so there are usually some flaws in the execution and she's often in the bottom half of technicals
Phresine - Grandma contestant. nails the classics but ultimately isn't creative enough to make it further.
Magus - the "Ian (series 6)" flavor of Dad contestant, often brings in foraged ingredients or eggs from his own chickens or whatnot and revives old recipes/flavor combinations no one else knows about. one week, some of those turn out to just be too weird, leading to his elimination.
Sophos - pretty elaborate decorations and good flavors (on the border of classic and new), but he tends to try a million different embellishments on everything and struggles with timing, occasionally to the detriment of technique.
Kamet - always has really interesting and different flavors and tends to do well in technicals especially, assuming he doesn't get overwhelmed. which is... an assumption (Finalist)
Costis - leans towards classic and indulgent flavors, although sometimes a bit sloppy--the kind of contestant where the judges look at his dishes and say "it's a bit of a mess" and then Paul Hollywood starts laughing because it still tastes delicious (Finalist)
Irene - absolutely stunning visually, queen of the technicals, occasionally gets the "style over substance" warning (Winner)
more details below the cut
I've gone back and forth on whether Eugenides should be in it but ultimately I decided no because I wanted to maintain a pre-show relationship between Laela + Kamet (I thought otherwise at first but then I realized I hadn't left Kamet any longterm friends or family for his finalist video and that's depressing af) and Irene and Sophos which to my knowledge hasn't happened once on the show so far? so having a married couple on top of that seems like it would be a stretch, and also then I think I'd need to make Eugenides the winner on principle and you know what? he can stand to be second fiddle to his wife for a little bit. My alternate backstory for him is that he was actually the winner of MasterChef one year (good with knives), so in the first episode Irene's first little chat to camera is something like "my husband's been bugging me for years to try out and I keep telling him he's got a skewed perspective on cooking competitions, finally I applied just to shut him up... and here we are." Her little video introduction is about how baking is a stress relief from her bigshot job. Her decorations tend to be abstract and gorgeous rather than cutesy.
Kamet, likewise, was nagged into applying by Laela, but she very cleverly framed it as she wanted to apply and wanted him to do it to for moral support. both were confident the other would get in and surprised that they did themselves. This is one of those series where everyone's friendships are immediate and obvious and super adorable (cast of series 10 my beloved...), and in particular these two are holding hands in episode 1. Laela's deep blue robe from TaT sticks in my head for whatever reason so I imagine her making an elaborate blue peacock cake or something one week that wins her star baker. somebody always does a peacock something and it's always impressiev.
Phresine is cool as a cucumber under pressure, always has lovely things to say about everyone else's bakes, and is the go-to last-minute helper because she usually comes in under the time. Irene starts out similar but as the weeks go by she starts to feel the pressure a bit more and cuts it a bit close. Sophos is the worst on timings, and mentions his wife at least once an episode. (I also played with him being single on the show and meeting Helen later through Irene and Eugenides, but this idea is too cute to pass up tbh.) Teleus lives with Relius, a fact that isn't mentioned until a few weeks in when he comments that Relius likes a recipe or gave him an idea for a flavor or something (Relius does not bake himself but will happily sample practice bakes), to the surprised delight of every viewer whose favorite contestant is the oldest gay in any given series (me, me, that person is me).
Costis tends to use a lot of chocolate and, as I said, pretty "classic" flavors--one of those people who makes a full English savory bake at some point. He's usually in the top half of the competition but doesn't get the top until one of the later weeks in the competition, which is a Honey themed week, and he absolutely nails it. The delicate decorations of his honey nut cakes and his use of honeycomb are particularly praised and that's the week he gets star baker. One of those bakers who flirts with elimination the first few weeks but noticeably improves over the course of the show.
My most, like, plot-y ideas are about Kamet (SHOCKER). I imagine he was born in Setra (I usually make Setra a non-autonomous region in my AUs) but arrived in Britain as a child due to [Unspecified Crisis] and ended up with foster dad Jeffa, who was roughly from the same region but not Setra itself; whenever Kamet wanted Setran food as a kid, Jeffa would take him to the library to find recipes and that was what sparked his love of baking. He's well-read on the subject and knows about foods from a lot of different cultures, so he's usually heard of the technical challenges even if he hasn't made or eaten them. He does a lot of fusion flavors, and is ALL ABOUT bread week.
I don't usually make the his-relationship-with-Nahuseresh-is-romantic leap in modern AUs but I think it works for this one because of the nature of the format--Nahuseresh doesn't actually appear on camera but is alluded to once or twice, ends up being Very Displeased that Kamet is doing something for himself, and during the week following Laela's elimination they have the fight that makes Kamet realizes this is actually a terrible relationship and he needs to leave now. He calls Laela to let her know what's up and mentions that, since he'll need to stay in a motel and has presumbly lost his job as a secretary (yeah working for your boyfriend is Bad, he's realized that now), he's going to have to drop out of the show. Laela, despite living in a studio flat without room to host him, immediately thinks "um fuck that" and calls Costis, and within an hour Costis and Aris and a few rugby buddies have moved all of Kamet's things into Costis and Aris's flat, where Costis insists that he'll squeeze into Aris's room (they've shared before, it's fine) and that Kamet gets first dibs on the kitchen for all bake off practices.
None of them actually reveal any of this to the show's producers. Kamet gets a little overwhelmed the following week and nearly walks away from the tent, but Costis jumps in to keep his bake from being ruined, and some soothing words from Irene + the hosts calm him down and he returns to finish. The only mention of the Drama comes in the finale, during the longer video clips they do on each of the contestants. Kamet is deliberately vague about the details of the situation, but Aris shows up in both Costis's and Kamet's videos and references the fact that having TWO flatmates in the bake off is a bit difficult because they only have a standard size kitchen, so he hasn't cooked for himself in a month and has been living off cake and savory breads. one of the hosts talks to Kamet in the tent after that clip is shown and he still won't talk about it in more detail, but says that he wanted to tell people so they could appreciate why Costis hasn't practiced as much the last few weeks (the judges scolded him for winging it a couple of times), and admits that he totally copied some of Costis's techniques for honey week based on watching him at home.
I imagine the finale task is something like an illusion cake--probably with a bunch of additional required elements because the show has been going bonkers with the finale showstoppers in the newer seasons--and Irene wins with a jewelry box containing, among other things, ruby earrings made out of candy. Kamet does a stepwell, and Costis does something architectural (I was thinking castle but something visibly Greek-ish so maybe a temple or a megaron? idk). Irene wins but they're all BFFs and that's obvious, so everyone's delighted for her. The little montage at the end reveals that Irene + Gen are expecting twins, that everybody hangs out all the time, and that Costis + co recently helped Kamet move into his own flat where he's now working on a novel (Immakuk and Ennikar inspired, obvi, leaning heavily on the honey-shared-on-the-road thing and including some recipes that actually work in the narration, albeit still written in an ancient-novel-like-way).
[Obviously not part of the show, but when Kamet mentions that it's time for him to look for his own place, Costis tries to v awkwardly invite him to stay forever and Kamet is like "nope I've got to try this on my own but yes we will go on a date once I've moved out and see how it goes from there."]
[This is so far beyond the scope of the show but also several of them go on to have more baking-related careers and have active social media presences and at one point they're all hanging out and Eugenides pulls out a camera and demands they all produce baking pick-up lines. Teleus refuses and also doesn't believe anyone knows baking pick-up lines off the top of their head or could make them up on the spot. Sophos sort of proves him right by coming up with "you're the apple of my pie," which Eugenides instantly mocks because Sophos's three greatest loves are baking, Helen, and poetry, and that's the best he can do? Helen comes up with "I like my cake the way I like my men--rich, sweet, and bright red," to which Sophos blushes on cue. Irene's is "when I'm with you, I feel like chocolate heated to 50 degrees--I struggle to maintain my temper." Eugenides protests this is more like an anti-pickup line. Irene insists this is the most accurate marriage-related baking pun anyone could ever come up with.
[Laela's is "You and I are like custard--I hope we never split." Kamet's is "You remind me of bread, because I knead you." Costis freezes for a minute and finally comes up with "Fancy a cream horn?" which produces a lot of giggling and makes Kamet slap his arm in such a way that, hen Eugenides posts this video to instagram, fans of the show all go WAIT ARE THEY DATING NOW] [by this point, yes they are] [I didn't even have to google baking pickup lines for this, guys, I legit came up with them on my own, please clap.]
am I obsessed? I might be obsessed
#queen's thief#attolia irene#kamet#costis ormentiedes#sophos#eugenides#teleus#eddis helen#laela#oh dear I bet her tag is virtually unsearchable#sorry laela
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Fixing "Boy Erased" (2018)
I recently decided to watch Boy Erased (2018) again, now that we're a couple years out from its initial release (and hype). And I came away with some thoughts.
First, something I think worked. You know that scene near the end, when Jared (Lucas Hedges) is trying to leave the conversion camp and he's racing through corridors and whatnot. That whole sequence works, but there's one moment that really stands out.
Jared attempts to get his phone and Michael (one of the 'camp counselors') tries to physically wrestle it away from him. There's a bit of a fight but eventually Jared makes his way to the bathroom and he calls his mom to come take him away. He then emerges from the bathroom and says to Victor Sykes (who runs the camp), "If you, or anyone else puts their hands on me, I have witnesses." Victor puts up his hands and says, "Nobody's gonna put their hands on you. Why would anybody do that? Come and sit. We're gonna wait for your mom, okay?" Then there's a hard cut to this:
Victor Sykes and Brandon literally laying their hands on Jared and praying. And I love that juxtaposition because it brings to light the violence inherent in this situation. They're restraining him through enforced religious acts. There's violence in this prayer.
And on top of that, it serves as a pretty good metaphor for the whole film. Jared's parents (especially his mother) believe they're helping but really they're hurting. They can't see the violence of their actions in sending him to the camp.
If only the rest of the film was working on this level.
Problem the first: Audience as observer. The film is really about observing its subject, Jared, as he experiences these events. But it isn't about giving us any insight into his perspective or interiority as he does so. The camera is looking at Jared more often that it is revealing to us what he's seeing. Perhaps the most obvious example of this issue is with the perfume ad scene. Jared is on a run and he comes across a perfume ad on the side of a bus stop with a bare chested buff guy. The camera shows us the ad, and then the rest of the scene has the camera (and thus, the audience) placed some distance away as we see Jared first touch the ad, then throw a rock at the ad, and then scream "fuck you" at it repeatedly. The ad itself isn't salacious enough to illicit that kind of response in the average audience-goer, and the camera is so disconnected from Jared's experience that we aren't really gaining insight into why this ad is affecting him in such a strong way. It ends up making it so that scene really does not work.
This isn't to critique Lucas Hedges's performance in that scene. It's more to say that all the other elements of that scene make it feel ridiculous - because the audience has not been guided toward viewing that ad in the same way that Jared does in that moment.
The second problem: Casting. To be absolutely clear, this is not a knock against any of the actors performances. On the contrary, I think everyone was pretty dang exceptional. Rather, it's more a conversation about casting choices. Two of those choices really stand out as somewhat misguided: Xavier Dolan as Jon and Emily Hinkler as Lee.
Turns out Emily Hinkler is a nonbinary actress. Lee (the character) is a cis guy who is conspicuously unmasculine. (If you've seen the movie - he's the one who gets hit in the head with a baseball). Casting a nonbinary actress as a cis boy at a conversion camp feels a bit off on it's own in that a conversion camp would be forcing people to adhere to assigned genders at birth. But I could get behind it as a sort of statement, like, a casting decision as direct opposition to the enforced gender binary of a conversion camp. i.e. Why should the movie adhere to the oppressive gender binary that the camp would? However, by casting a nonbinary actress as the least conventionally masculine character - it actually feels like it ends up reinforcing the binary. Lee's defining trait is that he's small and unmanly and, afaik, he's the only one of the male characters who is not portrayed by a cis man.
My issue with Xavier Dolan's casting is much simpler: Jon feels like he was written as a teenager and Xavier Dolan was approaching 30 when this was filmed. Maybe it wouldn't have bugged me so much if I didn't already know who Xavier Dolan was when watching the movie? Like, maybe if you watch it without knowing the actor's age, it works better? But also, the character feels like a teen but isn't explicitly stated to be a teen. So whenever he was on screen I kept wondering if actually part of Jon's situation is meant to be that he is 30 but stuck in a sort-of adolescence due to his relationship with his abusive father. Or did they just cast Xavier Dolan to portray a teenager?
This brings me to the third problem: Not enough of the ensemble. Jared, and thus the audience, spends proportionally, little screen time with the other people at the camp. They are rarely shown talking to each other - especially outside the restrictive observation of the camp's 'counselors.' This could be part of the point - i.e. that the camp is so isolating - but that isolation wasn't really highlighted by the camera/scenes/dialogue...so it really feels more like it's just an oversight. The movie focuses on Jared and his individual story and so the rest just fell by the wayside.
This is really unfortunate because there are some (potentially) great characters in there, especially Jon and Gary. Jon went through the program once before and is now back for a second time. We don't know what happened to make him come back. He appears to be 30-ish but he's staying at a hotel with his abusive father. He is completely invested in the program and treats his sexuality like an addiction. He has even taken it upon himself to forego all physical contact with other men (not even a handshake). His self-loathing is at once horrifying and heartbreaking.
In contrast, Gary (Troye Sivan) knows the entire program is bullshit, but he's playing along for his own survival. He's over 18; he lived with his boyfriend for a year prior to coming to the camp. So that begs the question of how his family convinced him to enter to the program. Also, Gary's so invested in his own survival, that he stays silent and is complacent in the abuse and violence he witnesses against others in the camp. He is both a victim and a bystander (at times).
I think this film would've really benefited from spending more time with these characters (as well as Sarah, portrayed by Jesse LaTourette, and Cameron, portrayed by Britton Sear) in the camp and seeing how they all interacted with each other. Give us a sense of their different contexts and perspectives - and give us a better sense of the ways that conversion camps disempower the people sent there (even people like Gary, who knows it's bullshit). It's the thing that makes all the other movies about conversion camps work so well.
Which brings us to the fourth problem: the ending. If we spend more time with the ensemble, we'd either end up with a really long movie or we'd have to cut out something else. Well, folks, we can cut about 10 minutes off the end. Everything after the dinner Jared has with his mother post-escape can go. The climax of the film is when Jared finally decides to leave the camp. The resolution comes when his mother places herself in opposition to Jared's father (which she had never done before) and decides that she's going to take Jared home. And the emotional resolution comes when she admits to Jared that they made a mistake and that they harmed him by sending him to the camp.
Everything after that is extraneous. We don't really need to see Jared living in a city with a boyfriend, or see him begin to reconcile with his father. His relationship with his father was never the emotional core for the film. Boy Erased is, in some ways, a movie about self-actualization and that's the sort of movie that's best to end with something a bit open-ended. Y'know...a sort of end-that's-just-the-beginning kind of thing. Because the story of Jared falling in love and dating and moving out and gaining the self-confidence to confront his father - well that's a whole other movie. And here it gets shoved into the epilogue, which does the whole thing a real disservice.
Then there are the informational cards at the end. Two stick out as being particularly frustrating. One, "The real Victor Sykes left L.I.A. in 2008. He now lives in Texas, with his husband," feels irrelevant and unnecessary. The audience cares about what happened to Gerrard Conley (who wrote the story and whom Jared is based off of). But why do we care about what happened to the real guy who ran the camp? We don't...except for the jab about him now being married to a man - which feels like it's a more significant point for the cis straight people in the audience than for anyone queer. Turns-out-ex-gay-pastor-was-actually-just-gay-the-whole-time is not revelatory, I gotta say.
Then there's also this:
The emphasis about conversion therapy "practiced on minors," feels a bit disconnected from the film we just watched - which emphasized how abusive and traumatizing it is, even for adults. And in the U.S., all states currently legally allow conversion therapy for anyone 18+. Only Washington D.C. has banned it. And that, to me, is equally egregious, yet it isn't mentioned. The film itself challenges the notion that it's somehow okay for this to be practiced on adults because it's ostensibly their "choice," and then the info cards at the end shy away from that stance by focusing on kids.
I think the thing I find most frustrating about this movie, is the wasted potential. As I said at the beginning of this, there are some moments that really stand out in how they use the medium to convey meaning. There are some choices in how the film uses light and brightness (or lack thereof), that are pretty dang good, too. But ultimately, it's a film I feel so detached from and I think some of what I explained above is part of why.
#boy erased#lucas hedges#xavier dolan#emily hinkler#troye sivan#joel edgerton#nicole kidman#jesse latourette#britton sear
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ML Fic: Never Had A Friend Like Me
Summary: Lila’s making good on her promise, and Marinette is finding herself increasingly isolated from the class. At least she still has her best friend by her side.
Ao3 link here.
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A/N: So guess who’s sick of Alya and Nino getting the short end of the stick in salt fics?
Seriously, guys. “Chameleon” was a poorly-written episode in regards to every character it featured, but everyone still treats it like it’s the final word on what Alya and Nino are like. All I want is ONE salt fic where they actually support Marinette throughout Lila’s reign of terror.
And then I thought, “Well, if you want something done right...”
So enjoy this rare pro-Alya salt fic!
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The day after Lila had threatened her in front of the school, Marinette opened the bakery door to find Alya there, tears streaming down her face.
Marinette brought her inside, asking her what had happened, and listened intently as her friend poured her heart out to her. In a way, she wasn’t that surprised by what she heard.
Apparently, Alya had finally thought to do some research on Lila, and (naturally) had discovered that all of her claims of meeting various celebrities were false. This had led to her deleting Lila’s interview from the Ladyblog, posting a lengthy apology to her readers, calling Nino (who had been equally horrified by the revelation), and concluding that she was an irredeemably horrible person who didn’t deserve the friendship of someone she threw under the bus for a stranger.
Touched, Marinette told her that she forgave her, and that they could still be friends as long as she’d truly learned her lesson. Alya accepted that, and the two of them spent the rest of the day eating cookies and discussing various things.
Like how they were going to break this to the rest of their classmates.
00000
Four weeks after Lila’s threat, school had become more difficult.
On the upside, most of the class accepted the evidence Alya had provided and cut ties with Lila. And as it turned out, several of them were close to discovering the truth themselves beforehand.
On the downside, Lila still had several members of the class (Kim, Max, Ivan, Mylene) and several teachers under her thumb. And Ms. Bustier’s “set a good example” policy meant that if any of them tried to argue with Lila or question her authority, they’d get punished.
And frustratingly enough, Adrien still stuck by his original mindset. No matter how many times the others tried to convince him, he kept insisting that Lila wasn’t doing any harm and that they were in the wrong.
Needless to say, his friendship with Nino and Marinette’s crush on him disappeared.
But, for all the friends they lost, they gained some new ones. Aurore and Mireille became a part of Marinette’s inner circle after she designed some outfits for them. Nathaniel and Juleka brought in Marc and Luka, respectively. Kagami joined them as well, slowly being eased into the idea of having friends. And – most surprisingly – Chloe and Sabrina joined them, both having long seen through Lila’s facade. While there were still the occasional clashes, Chloe’s relationship with most of the group soon became a vitriolic friendship (and maybe a little more with Kagami, though she wouldn’t admit it for a long time).
Alya was confident they could make it through Lila’s reign.
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Two years after Lila’s threat, Alya discovered that her best friend was Ladybug.
Hawk Moth and Mayura’s attacks had only gotten harder to deal with over the years, and it didn’t help that Chat Noir had become a horrible hero, refusing to help out unless Ladybug gave in to his increasingly unwanted advances.
The heroine needed some permanent help. Someone she could turn to when the times got tough, someone she could trust with her secret identity. Someone who could help when Chat Noir refused to.
She chose Alya and Nino.
Now, Rena Rouge and Carapace regularly joined Ladybug on patrols, helping her fight akumas and sentimonsters. The Ladyblog quickly received a boost in popularity, thanks to the increasingly common interviews with the heroes themselves.
As the time passed, more and more heroes would come and go – the indomitable trio of Queen Bee, Ryuko, and Good Girl, the brother-sister-sister’s girlfriend team of Viperion, Tigress, and the Pink Princess, the genre-savvy Gallus and Chevre Blanc, the crowd-pleasing Cloudjumper and Souris, and the ever-mysterious time-traveller Bunnyx – but the core trio of Ladybug, Rena Rouge, and Carapace remained.
Chat Noir’s popularity dropped like a stone. Alya made sure of it.
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Six years after Lila’s threat, Marinette finally launched her brand.
With the help of a website designed by Alya and positive word of mouth thanks to Jagged Stone, MDC Designs quickly grew in popularity. Soon, celebrities across the world – ranging from the children of the popular businessman Bruce Wayne to singers like Clara Nightingale and Austin Moon – all wanted an MDC Original in their closets.
Eventually, Gabriel Agreste himself reached out to her and asked to do a business partnership. Not only did she refuse, she went on to do an interview detailing exactly how badly Gabriel’s heir and his girlfriend treated her in high school.
Adrien Agreste and Lila Rossi became the biggest punchlines in the entertainment business since Lindsay Lohan. Marinette, meanwhile, met the love of her life doing a commission for the president of Okumura Foods, who introduced her to one of her close friends.
All in all, Alya figured they were doing well for themselves.
00000
Eight years after Lila’s threat, Chat Noir lost his Miraculous on live television.
From what Alya could piece together, Chat had seen Marinette and Ren interacting while the former was in-costume. Naturally, the entitled brat had decided to seek out Ren and threaten him, all while spouting his beliefs that Ladybug was destined for him.
Hawk Moth promptly took advantage of Ren’s anger, creating one of the most powerful akumas the team had ever fought.
The akuma had immediately gone for Chat, stripping him of his ring in front of a live news crew and revealing to the world that he was none other than Adrien Agreste. He then verbally tore into the former golden boy, revealing every horrible thing he’d done as both a model and as Chat Noir.
The team managed to purify the akuma and rescue Ren, but Adrien escaped in the struggle and disappeared. Not that it mattered; they had the Cat Miraculous back, ensuring that he wouldn’t be able to misuse it anymore.
Five days later, the public was introduced to Kuro Neko.
Two days after that, Hawk Moth publicly announced his and Mayura’s retirement from supervillainy.
One week after that, Monarch and Pavone Cristallo took their place.
Life went on.
00000
Ten years after Lila’s threat, Alya was in Los Angeles, watching the Oscars live.
Marinette had been nominated for Best Costume Design for her work on a movie that had been nominated for several other awards, and she had invited Alya, Nino, and Ren to come with her to the ceremony. Naturally, they’d accepted.
As the various announcements and performances went on, Alya thought over what the past ten years had been like for her and her classmates.
Rose and Juleka had gotten married practically as soon as high school was over, and their wedding had been a gothic fairytale straight out of a Grimm Brothers book. Juleka eventually became one of Marinette’s top models, while Rose became a teacher, striving to be better than the one she had in high school.
Marc and Nathaniel had started publishing their Mightillustrator and Reverser comics, which soon became popular for their positive portrayal of a gay couple and the general lack of angst most superhero comics at the time had. A movie adaptation was currently in the works.
Chloe had taken over her father’s hotel business, and was still doing her best to become a better person with the help of Kagami (her girlfriend, now a world-class fencer) and Sabrina (now a politician on the campaign trail). She also modeled for Marinette on occasion.
Luka was currently on tour as one-half of the musical duo Fangs, alongside his fiance (a lovely girl named Avril that Alya was, regrettably, not well-acquainted with). Their wedding was scheduled for next year, and everyone was dying with anticipation.
Aurore and Mireille had also gotten married, and both had become regular models in Marinette’s lineup. Aurore had also gotten a job as TVi’s weather girl, and Mireille was the new host of KIDZ+.
Alix had become a popular street artist, with her art regularly being featured in Parisian museums. She’d also taken over as Collège François Dupont’s new art teacher after Mr. Haberkorn’s retirement, which kept her in regular contact with Rose and Juleka.
The ones who had followed Lila’s word to the letter back in high school eventually managed to break free from her influence, though they knew nothing would ever be the same between them and the rest of the class. Kim and Ondine had gotten married, and they now worked as coaches in the same school as Rose and Alix. Max had managed to get a job as a scientist for a major computer company, and worked hard on various projects. Mylene and Ivan had also gotten married, the former becoming an actress on a popular TV show.
Lila and Adrien had both opted to stay out of the public eye after all the scandals they’d been a part of. Alya had no idea what they were up to these days, which was probably for the best.
And Alya herself? She was quickly climbing through the ranks as a journalist, and the Ladyblog was as popular as ever. She and Nino had finally tied the knot last year; he’d become a successful DJ, and was recently breaking into directing, with Nath and Marc’s film being his first job.
Her musings were interrupted by a cry of joy coming from her right.The winner of Best Costume Design had finally been announced.
As Alya watched, Marinette walked up to the stage to accept her award, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. Everyone in the hall started applauding her – Alya, Nino, and Ren doing so the loudest.
She took the statuette, cradling it in her hands, and started on the speech she’d been rehearsing before they’d gotten here.
“The first person I want to dedicate this to is the person who’s stuck by me all these years, through thick and thin,” she said. “My best friend, Alya.”
Alya felt Nino’s hand on her shoulder, and she smiled.
They made it. Together.
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i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:
- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode
- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao
- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards
- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO
- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.
- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.
- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress
- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal
- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good
- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.
- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(
- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun
- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)
- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams
- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc
- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU
- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh
- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better
there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad
#this is insanity#how did this happen#glee#tw hate crime mention#tw suicide mention#tw mental health mention#this was from my drafts lmao
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I had the strangest dream last night:
I love this world, this realm. I smile to myself because it feels so nice to walk amongst the theaters I so love. Even though there are no performances right now. I meet up with some friends and we take a train to the Dark City. I'm excited to start a new job I just landed.
Some of my family members work in the Dark City so it'll be nice to know some people. Maybe we'll be in the same division! Superstition keeps a lot of people out of the Dark City but the benefits and wages are really tough to compete with. And yet, they are always hiring! Great for a young adult like myself trying to save.
On my first day, during orientation, my friends and I are interrupted at lunch. Two figures dressed in black demand I come with them. I do so and oh boy, how I wish I hadn't. They take me to him. To Hades. I'd never met the keeper of the city but the rumors got it wrong. He isn't menacing. He's fucking rude. I cannot tell him enough during our first meeting that my name is not Persephone. I understand I have a connection to her, yes, past lives and such. But that does not make her "written fate" the same as mine. I leave.
Though I return to the Dark City the next day with my friends. Despite his annoying confrontation, I need this job. And yet, he needs an answer other than "hell no." I find that I am weaving through out crowds to avoid the people he sends to persuade me to meet with him again. I am constantly avoiding him. I mean constantly. I even run into him a few times at the Tower elevators and I yell "leave me alone!" as I run in the opposite direction, middle fingers up. What kind of weirdo wears a fucking black cape in today's day and age anyways?
One of my friends already working in the Tower sees me avoiding Hades' men and says "maybe you should think about it." I stop and turn to watch her mop and she shrugs and laughs, "That's all I'm sayin'."
A few days proceed and I'm finally done with training! My next shift, I'll be on the clock! To celebrate, I am relaxing with my friends and family at a park in the Dark City. I ask my Dad what he thinks of the whole ordeal. He tells me to do what makes him happy. This annoys me but I love him. I spend the night at a friend's house mulling over how hard my family is working...and them too... If we all had the proper support in a society like this, maybe we wouldn't all have to work so damn hard all the time...
The next day, I set my things down on the Tower's top floor and go to greet Hades' men. They take me to him. He is in his office, "Have you decided to stop being petulant?"
"Have you decided to learn to act like a gentleman?"
He stands, "Your answer?"
"I will consider...marriage."
I swore I heard a small sigh of relief but I can't say for sure. He approaches me and says "come with me." I follow him down the hall. As if everyone had been prepared for this, some of Hades' staff adorn me with a white cape that matches his black. I think it looks silly because I'm wearing...normal clothes but everyone else seems to approve. I let it slip even though I hadn't given a full "yes."
Hades tells me I must accompany him for the day "as is tradition." I start to deny the offer because this is my first day of work! But he declines my decline and says we will continue our conversation after the work day.
The day creeps by, me boredly pacing behind Hades as he visits different parts of the Tower in the Dark City. I stop to talk to all of my friends that I see. And Hades does not hesitate to voice his annoyance with me holding up his busy busy schedule. I retort with some insult and continue to say hi to everyone. I'm sure I've halved his tasks for the day with the amount of times I stop to chat excitedly with family. I run into one of my moms and talk a bit about whether I am making the best decision. (We are out of earshot btw). She takes a puff of her blunt and says, "Does he have money?" And I say, "He's one of the three kings! Of course he has money!" And she laughs and nods in approval.
Hades asks me why I'm huffing when I return to his side and I tell him to fuck off. To which he responded about how I have no manners, some other things I'm not paying attention to. Near the end of the work day, he's stopped by a worker about something and tells me to "move freely" about the Tower as he finishes up something by himself. I take the very welcome opportunity to go say hello to my friends on the factory floor. It's 2:57pm, three minutes to close. Everyone looks exhausted but I am just happy to see their faces. I start to think about my decision.
Man. Six months here and six months out, huh? I mean, there is the Dark City, which allows me to see my friends and family outside of the Underworld at any time of year. So long as they come. But I still cannot leave. I want to save up to move somewhere sunny... I am grateful for the opportunities that the creation of the Dark City has given people that want to work for fair wages. "A deal with the devil" was a joke before but now, the Dark City brought that metaphor to life with it's sparkling benefits and high pay rates. You couldn't expect any less from a city bred from the Underworld itself.
Even so, even though Dark City was in the human realm.... I won't be able to travel away from it for six months every year.
My thoughts have me wandering to the elevators. I don't want to be in the Tower during close. I don't want to see my friends tired faces. I wonder if I could maybe leave before Hades and meet him when he's done. I'm certain one of his workers can escort me to his home. As I approach an elevator, I am surprised when I run into him. He doesn't speak on my obvious discomfort.
"I will collect my things from the lower floor and then we can leave together."
I enter the elevator with him and of course, there's no one around because it's closing time and everyone is busy wrapping up the day. "I left my things on the top floor," I say after Hades presses the bottom floor button. "I need to stick them in a locker, at least."
He sighs and says "very well" before pressing the top floor as well. The ride is long and quiet as we descend to his destination first. I feel...overwhelmed and exhausted and have no idea how I'm going to get through the evening. I plop onto the floor in the far corner of the elevator.
Hades looks at me and my crumpled cape for a few seconds and then, to my sudden surprise, he sighs and lowers himself in the corner furthest from me. He looks...awkward and uncomfortable from his crouched position on the floor. But it makes me smile inwardly. He is looking at the numbers on the elevator go down and starts saying them softly. "137...136...135...134..."
The trip passes like this, him hushing after speaking twenty or so floors aloud. By the time we reach the bottom, we are both on our feet. He steps out, expecting me to stay put but I follow him off. He is walking fast but I catch up because I have to ask him something...something important that can't wait. "Wh.." I catch my breath as I skip next to him. Him and his stupid long legs. "Why do you even want to marry me, huh?"
He stops. I continue.
"Is it cuz I'm 'Persephone' or because you think that you love me?"
He lets out an exasperated sigh and leans down in my face, "Let me assure you, I love you to bits. But I do not like you." He snarls the last bit and I am left angry and speechless as he swiftly walks away.
Back on the top floor, I collect my things and find a worker to help me get assigned a new locker. An older gay couple I met during training finds me and they rush to give me a hug. They explain they didn't wanna leave without saying goodbye and ask how the day went with "you know who."
I shrug and start to say something insulting... but then I remember the stress from the past week with being chased down. I recall Hades smart remarks and our arguments as I try to avoid him. And I recall him sitting across from me on the elevator floor, his boots wrinkling his black cape at the effort. I recall his "I love you to bits" and such...
"It went alright, actually." I look up at the couple, rubbing my stomach from the jitters that have made a home there because it's dawned on me that in less than an hour, I will be within Hades home making the biggest decision of my life. "Fuck."
One of the men in the couple adjusts his coat and looks at me with concern, "What's wrong, love?"
"I think I have a crush on him."
And then I woke up.
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Hi! Could you possibly give some of your favorite finished chaptered reddie fics?❤
Well do I ever! Enjoy these amazing fics by some amazing people! Its an extensive list so I’ve put it under a read more so as not to clog the tag!
Is there somewhere by @tozier-boy | 11/11 | complete | explicit
Richie didn’t belong in boring, old fashioned, small Derry, that was for sure.
Richie Tozier wore leather jackets and ripped jeans. Richie Tozier had his ear pierced and he painted his nails black. Richie Tozier wore combat boots and let his curls grow wild and messy. Richie Tozier always had headphones around his neck and sometimes he wore eyeliner. Richie Tozier smoked weed on the school ground and told teachers to shut the fuck up. Richie Tozier was tall and skinny and he wore bands tank tops. Richie Tozier was the reason why Eddie had started biting his lower lip way more frequently than he did before.
Zero Characters Left by @stellarbisexual | 18/18 | complete | explicit
Eddie works in social media at a tech start-up in Boston, and Richie's been hired to do some video production for the company.
Characters are aged-up to their late twenties, and this takes place in 2017.
Bright as yellow by @speakslowtellmelove | 30/30 | complete | mature
“‘Remember that hot guy I couldn’t stop turning around to stare at while watching the movie? Y’know, the one I stalked? He’s being hilarious in my math class full of nerds.’ You honestly think that’s my fault, Eds?”
Eddie felt his cheeks heating up, because Richie was right about all of it. Well, most of it. “My name is Eddie, not Eds. And I didn’t stal–”
“Nice to meet you, Eddie. See, isn’t that better? Eddie and Richie, Richie and Eddie. R plus E. It has a nice ring to it.”
the sea around us by @eddiefuckinkaspbrak & @tozier-boy | 26/26 | complete | explicit
Prince Edward, is due to marry Princess Myra in order to help secure his kingdom financially. In a last ditch effort to be free and fulfil a lifelong dream of travelling the world, he sneaks out of his window and on board a pirate ship. Captain Richie Tozier’s pirate ship.
or Prince Eddie & Pirate Richie AU
Beep-beep, Eddie Kaspbrak by Ragno | 5/5 | complete | mature
Eddie Kaspbrak is 14 years old and he just defeated a demonic clown along with his friends.
Eddie Kaspbrak is 16 years old and he's fighting against himself and the way he feels and the way he thinks.
Eddie Kaspbrak is 18 years old and he'd much rather fight a demonic clown all over again than face his true feelings for Richie Tozier.
The Order by @s-s-georgie | 10/10 | complete | mature
“You guys lost too?”
“Nope. Believe it or not Silent Hill is my actual destination.”
- The Silent Hill Au Literally no one asked for but you're getting anyway.
far too young to die (part one) by @catsbrak | 17/17 | complete | explicit
Eighteen year old seamster Eddie Kasprak is forced to put his survival skills to the test when he’s selected in the reaping for the 27th Annual Hunger Games, where twenty-four young ‘tributes’ who are gathered from each of the twelve districts must fight to the death. Eddie forms close bonds, his priorities undergoing a drastic shift, and he instead takes on a more difficult task: to try and protect his friends.
(in other words, the reddie hunger games AU no one asked for, and everyone will hate me for)
Kryptonite by hoeziertozier | 13/13 | complete | explicit
‘Richie looked down and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “There’s a reason I came to New York.”
“Isn’t it because of your job?”
“Yeah, but there’s a reason I specifically chose New York. I mean, it’s Wonder Boy’s home.”
Eddie choked on air. For the first time in ages, he wanted to use his inhaler. “What?“
"Yeah, I’m kinda obsessed with him. He’s, like, my idol.”
So, his new roommate was his superhero persona’s fanboy. Yep, that was definitely not going to be a problem.’
Or, the self-indulgent Superhero!Eddie and Superfan!Richie AU that literally nobody asked for.
Just Survive Somehow by @s-s-georgie | 21/21 | complete | mature
When the world ended, and the dead rose to eat the living, it turned into kill or be killed, but how do you survive when the creatures around you are constantly evolving?
Wishes by strictlyamess | 14/14 | complete | mature
It's one thing to vacation at the Happiest Place on Earth with all your friends.
Working there with them is another thing entirely.
(or: the Disney World Employee/Cast Member AU written by a former Disney World Cast Member that some people asked for but most did not)
Operation: Hawaii Honeymoon by @tinyarmedtrex | 9/9 | complete | mature
A plan formed in Eddie’s head. One that would benefit them both. “Does your ex have an instagram?” Eddie asked.
Eddie shook his head. “Do you want to make her jealous?”
“More than anything.”
“Hear me out then.” Eddie said, plunging forward even though he knew his idea was ridiculous. “What if you came to Hawaii with me? We’ll act like the perfect couple- she’ll get jealous, maybe want you back, and Myra will have to accept that I’m gay and will leave me alone.”
Richie looked up at him, a noodle dangling out of his mouth. “What?”
[ or Eddie and Richie meet on a plane to Hawaii and strike up a deal. Pretend to be lovers to make Richie’s ex-girlfriend jealous and convince Eddie’s ex-fiance Myra that he’s gay. What could go wrong?]
Inexhaustible Source of Magic by @jem-carstairs-is-perfection & @tinyarmedtrex | 17/17 | complete | teen
The Triwizard Tournament is back at Hogwarts and this time, two students from each school will be chosen to participate. When Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak are elected by the Legendary Goblet of Fire to compete, they must come together as a team and overcome their differences to prove to themselves and to others what they are capable of.
ask me to stay by @richietoizer | 7/7 | complete | teen
“Your lip is all busted,” Eddie said, as though pointing out that Richie’s lips were injured would somehow make it okay that Eddie was paying attention to them. Richie’s hand came up, long fingers wrapping around Eddie’s tiny wrist, and he gently guided Eddie’s touch away.
Eddie finally wrenched his eyes away from Richie’s lips and met his best friend’s gaze. There was a softness there that he rarely got to see, not even the smallest hint of teasing or joking there. It was just Richie, just Richie looking at him and Eddie looking back. For a single moment, it was just Richie and Eddie alone in the world. Nothing to bother them, nothing to live up to.
[or: the year is 1994, and Eddie Kaspbrak is in love.]
Sex, Money, Murder by @studpuffin | 8/8 | complete | explicit
“The only sin is mediocrity.”
― Martha Graham
the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg | 4/4| complete | mature
It’s Eddie he wants to get a hold of, though, and he does, tucking him under his arm, and ruffling his hair, making him laugh. He’s startled when Eddie looks at him with such happy, shining eyes. And, for a split-second, he’s tempted to kiss him right then, right there in front of everyone.
He wants to. Badly. He doesn’t.
He leans in, instead, and he smacks a loud, wet kiss to Eddie’s cheek, punctuating it with a “mwah!” He does it again and again. “I’m so proud of my little Eds Spagheds!”
“Get off me!” Eddie says, laughing and shoving him away, swatting at his hands.
AU. in the 27 years in-between, Richie and Eddie forget a lot, but they don't forget each other.
Fall Away From Me (I Just Can’t Take It) by @thelazyeye | 6/6 | complete “ explicit
It’s okay, though, Eddie tells himself. It’s all fine. This is part of their arrangement. This is a casual thing they have going. It’s his own stupid fault for catching feelings for someone he agreed to casually fuck. Especially when that person is his best friend from childhood.
It Was Always You by eddie_kaspbraktozier | 12/12 | complete | teen
Eddie, miraculously, survives the fight with Pennywise. Richie is still hopelessly in love with him, even after all of these years. As Richie stays with Eddie to help him with his recovery and divorce, he tries to find the courage to tell Eddie his true feelings.
Eddie wakes up after the fight with Pennywise to realize his whole life has been a lie – his asthma, his marriage, god, his whole adult life. Although now, Eddie is finally free to decide what he wants out of life. Eddie slowly comes to realize his feelings for his best friend.
Told in alternating point of views – Richie and Eddie’s.
OR
IT Chapter Three. The ending we deserve.
IDK, spooky stuff by varnes | 3/3 | complete | explicit
“You’re a ghost hunter, aren’t you?” Georgie reminded him. “And he’s a ghost, or something. So obviously the police won’t find him, but you guys can, with all your equipment. You can find him and make the murders stop.”
From the couch, Richie’s whole face was lit up with delight. That was always a bad sign.
“I don’t know, Georgie,” Bill said, but before he could get the words all the way out, Richie was leaping up and yanking the phone out of his hand.
“Murderous ghost circus performer, love it, love it,” he announced. “Georgiekins, say no more, not one word, we are absolutely going to come bust the shit out of this clown.”
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Or: the quasi-BFU AU where Bill, Stan, Bev and Richie go to Derry to hunt a ghost. Featuring a one-armed boy out for revenge; a Tiny Smol hotel clerk who can't decide if he wants to fight Richie or marry him; The Hot Fireman From LA?!; a local librarian who just wants to read books to children in peace; and, of course, Pennywise the clown.
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“Coming Out” via Print Media: Speech Acts and Queer Identity
This post was written by Joe Wozniak, a recipient of an Archival Scholar Research Award for the 2021 Spring Semester.
Sifting through Pitt’s American Left Ephemera Collection for the ASRA project has been a true exposure to many ideologies focused on social progress. Publications from 1960’s-1970’s that center around Women’s Liberation, Civil Rights, and Gay and Lesbian Rights are plentiful. Each one allows the reader to take in a conversation from the time. While some have a single vision, many were starting to acknowledge the intersectionality of their causes. Lesbian women were no exception and created many independent publications to add their voices to the conversation. Lavender Vision is one example that aimed at creating a larger community of like minded, “women who love women”. In their own words, “We will not be forced into being a single issue liberation movement. Our struggle against sexism includes fighting all forms of domination because we believe sexism to be the first and most basic fucked up power relationship” (Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, vol. 1, issue 1, (1971): 2).
Excerpt from Lavender Vision. While some passages are calls for action, some were more centered around romance. Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, Vol. 1, Issue 2, (1971): 2-3. American Left Ephemera Collection, 1875-2015, AIS.2007.11, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System
The time period was no cake walk for anyone who may have lived an alternative lifestyle. Creating spaces to find one another was crucial not only for the group’s progress, but also for the well-being of the individual members spread across the United States. Being a woman was hard enough, couple that with a queer identity and you’re bound to encounter problems. Despite this, inside Lavender Vision are pleas for companionship, pronouncements of identity, and inquiries into what it means to be queer. A particular question asked by columnist “Sue Sappho” begs, “Gay people speak of “coming out”. How does one come out when there is nowhere to come out to?” (Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, vol. 1, issue 2. (1971): 2-3).
Excerpt from Lavender Vision. Above, columnist Sue Sappho asks, “how does one come out when there is no one to come out to?” Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, Vol. 1, Issue 2, (1971): 2-3. American Left Ephemera Collection, 1875-2015, AIS.2007.11, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System
Lavender Vision responds to that question with a grand proclamation on the opposite page, “WE ARE LESBIANS”. With a queer afflatus, the writer lays down a manifesto for lesbian women everywhere (see full transcript of image below). The constant use of the plural “we” shows the idea of a unified group with a shared vision that, “creates our own way of making love…of fighting… of making a revolution that is not just on walls and in leaflets but in our daily lives.” The jagged lines of the border which might be seen as forming the shapes of open mouths reflects a group shouting this affirmation with resounding effects. While mostly empowering, the piece makes clear that being a lesbian is, “historically dangerous…Gay sisters know what it means to be underground.” But more importantly Lavender Vision answers Sue Sappho’s question with an underground example: she could come out through this publication. While not traditional, there would be others to hear her announcement and acknowledge her as one of their own. This may seem trite in an age where just owning a cell phone allows access to a queer community, but in 1970’s America this potentially was a life-saving statement. Another of Sue’s statements hints at this, “please do not keep us waiting long. We need your help right now.” (Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, vol. 1, issue 2. (1971): 2-3.)
Excerpt from Lavender Vision. The above statement from the publication reads as a manifesto, not only for the writers but for the lesbian audience dispersed across the nation. Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, Vol. 1, Issue 2, (1971): 2-3. American Left Ephemera Collection, 1875-2015, AIS.2007.11, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System
The act of “coming out” closely resembles what linguists call a performative speech act. A “performative”, first coined by J.L. Austin (Austin 1962), is the act of uttering what one is doing (performing) and in doing so creating a shift in reality. This could be as simple as a bet or a promise, but sometimes holds a bit more weight. A well-used example is a Western wedding ceremony. When two partners have reached the end of the ritual, they utter the phrase “I do (take you as my partner).” In doing so, they have entered into an agreed upon (and in most cases legally binding) contract committing themselves to one another. Of course, this could be considered infelicitous, a fancy linguistic term meaning null, for many reasons. For example, I wouldn’t be able to marry someone by just performing a ceremony and saying “I do” if no one else were around to hear me say it. “Coming out” for many queer identifying people is an affirmation of identity. Without an audience to hear that soul-bearing statement it may feel to many, like our friend Sue Sappho, as if it weren’t the same thing. Publications like Lavender Vision, whether passed around in queer spaces or read alone in a bedroom, allowed this conversation to happen.
Works Cited
Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, vol. 1, issue 2. (1971): 2-3. American Left Ephemera Collection, 1875-2015, AIS.2007.11, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System
Lavender Vision for the Lesbian Community, vol. 1, issue 1, (1971): 2. https://voices.revealdigital.org/?a=d&d=CCGDEFA19700101&e=——-en-20–1–txt-txIN—————1 ( accessed February 25, 2021).
Austin, J.L., How To Do Things With Words. Harvard University Press, Cambridge, MA (1962): 12-38.
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restructuring task 1
+5 tracker points
1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.
wc: 365
idk if i’ve said this on dash yet, but i’m treating new famed more or less like an au. in sung’s au, the defining change is that he was let go from gold star when he had his injury as a trainee. it was always my headcanon that they truly were close to cutting him loose anyway, so this is just the other side of that. he had his injury, got plastic surgery to try to appease them into keeping him, and they still let him go. when he went home his parents said alright u tried that now join the fam business n sung freaked bc he realized he doesnt want that for himself so he went to do smth he also hated, and joined the military. while there he still worked on his dance and vocals whenever he had a moment to do so, so that when he was discharged and started auditioning again, he wasn’t so rusty
he is a year younger in this world, just bc of quantum’s age range, not for any other reason. makes him a little less of a cradle robber in his relationship lol which, another change is that daisuke wouldn’t have been his first kiss, just first everything else
quantum is very different from old element and new element, but it’s very in line with what i liked about quicksilver (& has models from that) and he’s a leader! this is an idea ive toyed with a lot over the last three years tbh. at first i didn’t think sung suited a leader position, but he came to show me he’s just a different kind of leader. i liken him to jinki often in this regard. rather than lassoing members in, he supports them being however they are, and takes an intimate/emotional path to gaining their trust and leading them. and while he wasn’t suited for the full business life, what he learned from his father’s teachings helps him in dealing with the company as the group’s representative there (& he loves a good powerpoint presentation)
other timeline stuff for big events in his life are likely to shift but i’m not sure on specifics yet
2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?
wc: 260
as the child of a businessman, he’s never under the illusion that as a company entity, their first priority is their wellbeing. he knows that they are products, and that they’re treated as such. it’s a bit heavier with dimensions than gold star, since gold star makes a more active effort to pretend they care. however, once having accepted that, sung thinks himself and dimensions work well together. he does feel that for a company, they allow himself and his members to be a part of the creative process, as says their motto. he feels much more encouraged to write songs and choreograph under dimensions than he did under gold star, where it felt like he was constantly on his knees begging for the company to take him seriously
as for quantum, sung really loves what they’re about. he’s not a big fan of all (or most) of their songs, though he’s more loving towards a song written by another member even if it’s the same sound he dislikes, but he absolutely loves being focused on performance and concepts. his creative mind works very much on the basis of story and emotion that comes with it, and he feels like quantum’s concepts sometimes to often lean into his tastes. he’s always been a dancer first and foremost (god am i so glad to have his main dancer title back i MISSED u) so focusing on performance is v much up his alley, and his preferred style of dance is through storytelling. he feels the heart of dance is in that
3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?
wc: 281
quantum’s on their first contract still, up for renewal in 2024. at the current moment, he would like to re-sign. however, unlike my others, his re-signing depends more heavily on the other members. if they were unhappy and wanted to leave, sung would want to follow suit, not because he can’t make his own decisions, but because if the reason the members want to leave is because of the company, not quantum, he’d want to try to help quantum continue to live. if that means all of the members leaving in order to rebrand under another company, so be it. he’d like to avoid lineup changes however he can, and ideally would like to be an idol for as long as possible
he himself feels alright about his treatment. he feels creatively stimulated, and appreciated for talents further than his face. if he were to try to negotiate different terms at their contract renewal, part of it would likely be wanting to give members a higher share of profits, especially on releases they’re creatively involved in. sung personally has no use for excessive money, but not all of his members have his background, and he feels more than just the money, it’s what’s fair. he’d also prefer to allow for more creative freedom. as a 7/8 year group by then, he’d think they should be allowed to take the reigns more heavily. and on his personal side of things, he would want dimensions to be more mindful of his schedule. sung enjoys working, but he’s only one person, who doesn’t want to be overworked. these are all just his current thoughts, though, and will probably change before contract renewal comes up
4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?
wc: 294
his motivations to be ‘successful’ and/or achieve his goals are his family, namely being someone his nephew and niece can be proud of, and someone his parents can feel was worth letting go of. he feels closer to the latter than he did in old famed. his members motivate him to be a good leader, his desire to grow as a creator motivates him to write and choreograph
specific goals could be bigger like his desire for more public recognition. while quantum has a lot more recognition both in korea and abroad than element or quicksilver, sung wants the best for his group. he’d be happy if they stayed where they are with their loyal fandom, but he still aims for more
sung also wants to get better at standing up for himself. he’s best at standing up for others, because he can slap on a bit of bravado in order to help them out, but when it comes to himself, especially with his parents, he’s pretty awful at it
he’d also like to create more for quantum, and others. i/he have a goal for him to write a whole album for someone, so if anyone reads this far and could want sung writing for their muse, hit me up!
he’d like to get married and have children one day. that’s always been a dream of his, and while he knows his career doesn’t allow for that soon, it’s still on his docket
he wants to spend more time with his family, especially his nephew and niece. they’re so new to the world and learning everything, and sung wants to be a part of that. he doesnt want his part in their early lives to be ‘i don’t really remember seeing him back then’
5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?
wc: 291
at some point, this bitch is gonna have to admit he’s a homiesexual. in his previous version, it was a lot easier for him to ‘i pretend i do not see it’ when it came to that. sung’s very ignorant when it comes to the queer community in korea, so he’s not even really aware of terms beyond gay, maybe trans. but, terms aside, he always thought he was someone who liked women, and daisuke and a couple of others were just outliers. they were the Special ones outside of his jurisdiction that were just too good for him to not notice. aka he believed he was bi. and now, he still does, but i have less faith he’ll be able to hold that up until he dies like i did before, because he’s actually dated at least one woman before in this world. considering the plot has yet to be picked up, i don’t know the specifics, but i do think it’s harder to run away from when the way he treated a relationship with a woman and a relationship with a man were lightyears away from one another. it’s still possible for him to run away from the truth of the situation, but it’s also very possible that one day, his thoughts on it will shake, and everything will click into place (messily,, probably the messiest clicking ever) it would be a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, though i think it’s better for him in the longterm to truly know who he is, and why he acts the way he does, why he feels the way he does about women vs men. it’s also nice just to not live a lie, even if only privately
6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.
wc: 523
sung has a pretty filled history of individual activities. most are points claims with a focus on modelling, his radio, and music, though he’s dipped into pretty much ever facet of idoldom, some with more success than others. his ecp expenditures flesh that out a little more, and add a bit more realism, and/or make sense of the group changes. he had a one year modelling contract with the north face, and while official claims aren’t possible, i was inspired by a couple of things rowoon did with them. there was more of a push on an eco-friendly side of things, and there was a bit of dancing. playing into his group position with dancing i feel is fitting, but the eco friendly part i also feel could round out his image more as a good, kind boy who also can be sexy, whereas before, his earlier modelling claims focused a lot more on the sexy aspect, because it fit element and his trajectory there better. here, it makes him more dual sided from the beginning. north face is also just a nice, strong brand that i think is fitting for a pretty boi. i set it a bit after a year out from debut because i feel like that’s the most realistic, especially for a group like quantum that grew audience with each comeback
part of that first year being focusing only on the group ties into his creative claims as well! his first creative claim was with the bside love, lalala on the eternity ep. the nicest part of creative claims being unattached to positions is that all of sung’s claims are the songs in the discography most Him. so love lalala is very jazzy and smooth, and would have served as his first introduction to songwriting, as well as what made him interested in songwriting. then he was a choreographer on error, which is heavily story based, and about the members being a unit, and making beautiful pictures together. i hope to snag intro long journey and outro long journey from the beginning and end of the ateez sector, because they’re beautiful compositions that fit sung’s style, but also having him on both makes him feel like he’s a part of the concept’s creation in an intimate way, which fits with dms. then there’s aurora, which sung partially composed and partially choreographed. the choreography has contemporary flair to it, and the song is a flowing sound that matches that. then there’s partial production on sunrise, which i just love the robotic ass experimental production there, and comp for with u, which i believe ties back into sung’s rediscovering his love of piano. choreo for valkyrie is most similar to error in it’s pretty pictures way, and also has a bit of complex footwork, especially as its point dance, which is also p sung to want to include. and finally, some comp on stand by, which is like a mix of the appeal of aurora and with u methinks? listening to all of his written songs together i feel like really makes a picture of sung’s songwriting so i love that
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“I had to overcome the name Rock.”
I’ve been working on a personal project regarding “old” Hollywood stars who were gay. Of course, the most famous was Rock Hudson (but there are plenty more). For a gay man of his generation (born 1925) you simply didn’t come out of the closet, whether you were a movie star or just a regular Joe. But by becoming a major movie star in the 1950s, it put pressure on maintaining his secret even more.
Born Roy Scherer, Hudson grew up in Illinois. He joined the Navy in 1944 after graduating from High School. His discharge was in 1946 and he eventually made his way to Hollywood. There he soon came under the wing of talent agent Henry Willson. Willson was famous for the many handsome men he helped to make stars. But first he changed their names to something masculine and rugged. Even then there were rumors in Hollywood that his client repaid him beyond the usual 10% to agents.
Hudson’s first role (uncredited) was in Flighting Squadron” (1948). There is a a legend that Rock himself repeated, that he had only one line but it took 38 takes to get something usable.
After being signed to Universal, he went through it’s talent development program (acting classes, etc.). By 1952 he became a leading man. I imagine that as his fame grew, the stress of keeping his secret grew geometrically.
In 1955 a scandal magazine threatens to expose Hudson. Henry Willson wasn’t about to lose the biggest star in his stable. So he negotiated a deal with the magazine dirt - he gave them dirt on 2 other actors with his agency in exchange for tossing the Hudson story.
Who were the other stars? First western star Rory Calhoun (Francis McCown) who was had spent time in jail for robbing a jewelry store, stealing a car, and escape. Calhoun has a bad boy image that the article actually worked in his favor.
The other client to be thrown under the bus was Tab Hunter (Arthur Kelm). He had been arrested for attending an “all-male pajama party” in 1950. He wasn’t a “star” yet so there was little impact. But Hunter was gay and it must have put more pressure on him to keep his own secret. (Later Hunter would date actor Tony Perkins and dancer Rudolph Nureyev.)
After this close call, Willson insisted that the bachelor Hudson get married. What Woman would agree your a sham marriage? Willson’s secretary Phyllis Gates. Two years the couple divorced and Hudson had an ex-wife in his past to help quell more rumors. (In 1987, after Hudson died of AIDS, she wrote a book where she claimed she never knew Hudson was gay.)
As Hudson’s movie career faded in the 1960s, he found new success in TV shows like “McMilan & Wife” (1971-1977). But those rumors had a way of persisting...
As the story goes, a group of Gay men in Huntington Beach had an annual party. Their 1971 invitation joked “witness the marriage of Rock Hudson and Jim Nabors". The punchline being Hudson would take Nabor’s TV character name and become “Rock Pyle”. Somehow this joke became an urban legend and was spread as rumor.
I even heard about the story as a high school student at the time. It was so weird. Rock Hudson gay? Jim Nabors gay too?!? I didn’t get it.
Well the joke was on Hudson and Nabors. The two men barely knew each other. But from that point they made sure they never appeared in public together.
You see, Jim Nabors, the most famous marine in the USA as “Gomer Pyle” was also gay. Ironically around the time the rumor was circulating, Nabors met Stan Cadwallader, a fireman in Hawaii. The two became lovers and got married in 2013 when it was legal to do so. They were together for 42 years.
Hudson continued acting and in 1984/1985 appeared in a recurring role on the night time soap opera “Dynasty”. But Hudson has been diagnosed as having AIDS in 1984 and his appearance and faulty performance created new rumors. His character was written out of the show sooner than planned (killed off-screen). Shortly after, Hudson appeared at a press conference for his former screen partner Doris Day, to announce her new daytime show. It alarmed his fan. Hudson looked gaunt and at times was incoherent.
Within days Hudson flew to Paris to treat his “liver cancer”. His publicist at first denied he had AIDS but a week later he confirmed it. Hudson never officially announced he was gay, but the AIDS diagnosis pretty much said it for him. By October 1985 Hollywood Movie Star Rock Hudson died at home at the age of 59.
Because AIDS until then was just a “GAY” disease, Actress Morgan Fairchild said, “Rock Hudson's death gave AIDS a face."
Commedian Joan Rivers said, “Two years ago, when I hosted a benefit for AIDS, I couldn't get one major star to turn out. ... Rock's admission is a horrendous way to bring AIDS to the attention of the American public.”
Even though Hudson had been friends with President Ronald Reagan and Nancy, Reagan still avoided even mentioning the term AIDS. A couple of years earlier the White House press secretary joked about the subject and expressed no concern. And shortly before Hudson died, Reagan was proposing cuts in Federal Funding on AIDS research.
Photo key:
Top row: Young Rock, with Henry Willson, with his wife.
Second Row: Rory Calhoun, Tab Hunter & Tony Perkins, Jim “Gomer” Nabors
3rd Row: McMillan & Wife, with the Reagan’s, with Doris Day a few months before he died.
#100 gay icons#rock hudson#in the closet#movie star#tab hunter#sham marriage#rory calhoun#jim nabors#aids#ronald reagan#doris day#henry willson
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Ship meme for Tenmiko
Another girl/girl ship that hits me right in the feels. This one feels pretty special.
Who confessed first?
Most of their relationship would range from roundabout, but very obvious flirting from Tenko’s side for a long time. However, after being prompted by Angie, Tenko would confess her feelings straightforwardly.
Who initiated the first kiss?
Himiko. It happens out of nowhere, and Tenko faints.
Who asks the other out on dates?
Himiko thinks that whenever Tenko asks her out, she does so for the purpose of helping her get out more often. This ins’t true. Tenko just wants to be with Himiko 24/7.
Who is the bigger cuddler?
Tenko. Her hugs can get a little too tight though.
Who initiates holding hands more often?
Himiko. Tenko gets really flustered and hyperactive whenever Himiko takes her hand.
Who remembers anniversaries?
Tenko makes a mental calendar of every date she’s been on with Himiko. Himiko tends to forget them sometimes, but Tenko doesn’t care.
Who is more possessive?
I don’t even need to explain why Tenko is the answer to this. Although it SHOULD be noted that Himiko is similarly possessive, but does a much better job of hiding it.
Who gets more jealous?
Tenko. She’s stated before that she’s jealous of magical girls and performers because she wants to be one.
Who is the most protective?
Again, obviously Tenko. However, while she’d never say it, Himiko would willingly pick a fight with someone despite her size, if Tenko was hurt.
Who initiates sexy time the most?
Hm...this one is difficult. I’d probably say Himiko. To put this in the most SFW way I can, she’d be turned on by something Tenko does, and things would escalate from there.
Who dislikes PDA (Public Display of Affection)?
Tenko had to learn to give Himiko her space in public. Himiko doesn’t mind being petted, but there’s a time and a place for her. It’s embarrassing when Tenko hugs or kisses her out of nowhere.
Who kills the spider?
Tenko obliterates the spider when it scares Himiko.
Who asks the other to marry them?
Tenko. She would wait until a good opportunity and would get most of the girls and Shuichi to help her out with it. They’d create a whole setup, that would be a bit too extravagant for Himiko to handle, but she’d realise Tenko’s good intentions and accept her proposal with almost no hesitation.
Who buys the other gifts?
Himiko actually buys Tenko little things from time to time. She enjoys thinking about what Tenko would like, but Tenko will accept anything so long as it’s from Himiko, because she’s a useless gay.
Who would first bring up the idea of having kids?
Surprisingly enough, Himiko. I think she’d realise that in spite of how she’s weird, loud and is a bit intense sometimes, Himiko would realise that Tenko should be the mother...sorry, OTHER mother of her child. Tenko would have a panic attack when Himiko tells her that she might want to adopt and raise a kid with her, but at no point would she ever object to the idea. In fact, she’s so into it, that she says she wouldn’t mind if the child they adopted was a male.
Who is more nervous to meet the others parents?
I think Tenko. She’d spend a few days before meeting them trying to make herself look presentable, and also thinking of every possible topic of conversation as to not have any chance of an awkward silence. She’d also restrain herself from making any degenerate male comments if possible.
Who sleeps on the sofa/couch when the other is angry?
Like some of the other couples I’ve talked about, Tenko refuses to allow Himiko to sleep on the couch.
Who tries to make up first after arguments?
Himiko actually. Most of the time, even if the argument is technically Tenko’s fault, she sadly apologises for it, and the two of them hug while they break down into tears.
Who tells the other they love them more often?
Tenko, obviously!
Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling it or vice versa?
Both of them, but Himiko more often.
Who doodles little hearts over the desk with their initials inside?
Tenko.
Who starts the tickle fights?
Tenko starts the tickle fights, but only when Himiko is feeling down. It makes her feel better, despite how it annoys her.
Who starts the pillow fights?
Himiko does. They’re pretty fun, even though she rarely has the energy to bother.
Who is the last to fall asleep while watching the other with a warm smile?
Himiko.
Who kisses the other awake in the morning?
Tenko.
Who mistakes salt for sugar?
Tenko gets so excited that she makes this mistake a few times.
Who let’s the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning?
Himiko, for sure.
Who comes up with the cheesy pickup lines?
Tenko can’t even land a cheesy pickup line correctly.
Who rearranges the books in Alphabetical Order?
Only Himiko’s magic books get this treatment for her. Tenko, kind of surprisingly, actually is pretty organised.
Who licks the spoon when baking?
Tenko does it on instinct. Himiko doesn’t lick the spoon, she puts the spoon in her mouth.
Who buys candles for dinner, even when there’s no special occasion?
Himiko.
Who draws little tattoos on one another with a pen?
Himiko actually draws on Tenko. Tenko enjoys the sensation.
Who comes home with a souvenir/fridge magnet whenever they go on holiday?
Both of them get one for the other.
Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys that you usually find on the back of magazines?
Tenko, but Himiko thinks they’re a pain.
Who has the other as their phone background?
Definitely Tenko.
Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror?
Again, almost certainly Tenko.
Who asks if they can join the other in the shower?
Tenko asks Himiko if she can help her wash her back. Himiko agrees and also helps Tenko wash HER back. Tenko also loves washing Himiko’s hair.
Who loudly proclaims their love while drunk?
Himiko. It’s the only time she ever really does this, whilst Tenko does it naturally.
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WILDCAT
December 17, 1960
Wildcat is a musical comedy about Wildcat Jackson and her sister who come to oil country in 1912 to strike it rich. She runs into the prowess of Joe Dynamite, and a battle of the sexes and the oil tycoons ensues.
Wildcat wasn’t written with the 48 year-old queen of comedy in mind so when she showed interest, the script by N. Richard Nash had to be radically re-written.
At the start of the 1960’s Ball’s career was taking a new direction. She was leaving her TV personae Lucy Ricardo (as well as her real-life husband Desi Arnaz) behind for newer horizons. It was their company Desilu that would produce Wildcat with Lucy having say over who would be cast as her co-star. After several of her first choices proved not available (including Clint Eastwood), she settled on Keith Andes.
Although Ball was not known for her singing (a fact she traded on in “I Love Lucy”) or her dancing (which she was far better at), she had the determination of Wildcat Jackson to attempt it eight times a week.
Director and choreographer Michael Kidd – known for his athletic dances – would put Ball through her paces. The score was by Cy Coleman with lyrics by Carolyn Leigh, giving Ball the rousing anthem “Hey, Look Me Over!” and the tuneful “What Takes My Fancy.”
The out-of-town critics were mixed, but obviously adored the red-headed star. The show was headed up the New Jersey Turnpike in trucks headed for Broadway when a serious blizzard stranded the caravan, causing the opening night to be delayed.
With just two previews under their belt, the show opened at the Alvin Theatre (now the Neil Simon) on December 17, 1960. Box office sales were buoyed by audiences expecting to see Lucy Ricardo, not Lucille Ball as Wildy Jackson, so eventually Ball interpolated more and more of her trademark comic inflections into her character.
Then Ball took ill. She left the show for a bit with the idea to return and continue the run. But upon her return she collapsed on stage. Producers decided to close the show for as long as it took her to recover and resume when her strength and health had returned. But the musicians union insisted upon payment during the hiatus, which made the wait financially unfeasible.
All in all, Wildcat lasted 171 performances. It wasn’t Ball’s only musical, however. In 1974 she took on the title role in the film of Mame with mixed to poor critical reactions.
"Then I go to New York with the two children, my mother and two maids. We have a seven-room apartment on 69th Street at Lexington. I’ll start rehearsals right away for a Broadway show, 'Wildcat.’ It’s a comedy with music, not a musical comedy, but the music is important. I play a girl wildcatter in the Southwestern oil fields around the turn of the century. It was written by N. Richard Nash, who wrote 'The Rainmaker.’ He is co-producer with Michael Kidd, the director. We’re still looking for a leading man. I want an unknown. He has to be big, husky, around 40. He has to be able to throw me around, and I’m a pretty big girl. He has to be able to sing, at least a little. I have to sing, too. It’s pretty bad. When I practice, I hold my hands over my ears. We open out of town - I don’t know where - and come to New York in December.” ~ Lucille Ball, TV Guide, July 16, 1960
THE SCORE
Lyrics by Carolyn Leigh and Music by Cy Coleman
Act I
I Hear - Townspeople
Hey, Look Me Over - Wildy and Jane
Wildcat* - Wildy and Townspeople
You've Come Home - Joe
That's What I Want for Janie* - Wildy
What Takes My Fancy - Wildy and Sookie
You're a Liar - Wildy and Joe
One Day We Dance - Hank and Jane
Give a Little Whistle and I'll Be There - Wildy, Joe, The Crew
Tall Hope - Tattoo, Oney, Sadie, Matt and Crew
Act II
Tippy Tippy Toes - Wildy and Countess
El Sombrero
Corduroy Road
You've Come Home (Reprise) - Joe
(*) Songs cut sometime after opening night.
THE CAST
Lucille Ball (Wildcat Jackson) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon, which was not a success and was canceled after just 13 episodes.
Keith Andes (Joe Dynamite) was born John Charles Andes in Ocean City, New Jersey, in 1920. Andes played Lucy Carmichael’s boyfriend Bill King on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy Goes Duck Hunting” (TLS S2;E6) and “Lucy and the Winter Sports” (TLS S3;E3) and played Brad Collins in “Lucy and Joan” (S4;E4) co-starring Joan Blondell. Andes took his own life in 2005 after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Valerie Harper (Dancer, right) became one of television’s most recognizable stars as “Rhoda” (1974-78) a spin-off of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” She appeared in at “Kennedy Center Presents” honoring Lucy in 1986. She died in August 2019 after a long battle with brain cancer.
Paula Stewart (Janie) appears in the fourth of her six Broadway musicals between 1951 and 1965. Her only series television appearance opposite Lucille Ball was in “Lucy and Harry’s Tonsils” (HL S2;E5) in 1969. In 2017, she published a memoir titled Lucy Loved Me, about her friendship with Lucille Ball.
Hal Linden (Matt, replacement) became one of television’s most recognizable stars as “Barney Miller” (1974-82). He appeared at an “All-Star Party for Lucille Ball” in 1984 and at “Kennedy Center Presents” honoring Lucy in 1986.
Howard Fischer (Sheriff Sam Gore)
Ken Ayers (Barney)
Anthony Saverino (Luke)
Edith King (Countess Emily O'Brien)
Clifford David (Hank)
HF Green (Miguel)
Don Tomkins (Sookie)
Charles Braswell (Matt)
Bill Linton (Corky)
Swen Swenson (Oney)
Ray Mason (Sandy)
Bill Walker (Tattoo)
Al Lanti (Cisco)
Bill Richards (Postman)
Marsha Wagner (Inez)
Wendy Nickerson (Blonde)
Betty Jane Watson (Wildy Understudy)
Dancers: Barbara Beck, Robert Bakanic, Mel Davidson, Penny Ann Green, Lucia Lambert, Ronald Lee, Jacqueline Maria, Frank Pietrie, Adriane Rogers, John Sharpe, Gerald Tiejelo
Singers: Lee Green, Jan Leighton, Urylee Leonardos, Virginia Oswald, Jeanne Steele, Gene Varrone
MRS. MORTON
Lucy met Gary Morton while doing Wildcat on Broadway. She put off their first date due to her rigorous performance schedule. Eventually, he showed up with a pizza just when Lucy was craving one. They married on November 19, 1961.
Comic Jack Carter served as best man at Lucy and Gary’s wedding in 1961. A few weeks later he married Paula Stewart, who played Lucy’s sister Janie in Wildcat. He acted in “Lucy Sues Mooney” (TLS S6;E12).
“HEY LOOK ME OVER!”
On June 4, 1976 Lucille is joined by Valerie Harper and Dinah Shore on “Dinah!” to sing her signature song from Wildcat, “Hey, Look Me Over.”
When Lucille Ball was celebrated at “The Kennedy Center Honors” in December 1986, Valerie Harper, Beatrice Arthur, and Pam Dawber sang a song parody of the “I Love Lucy” theme expressing their affection for Lucy. The medley ends with a specially-tailored “Hey Look Me Over”.
In “Lucy and Carol Burnett: Part 2″ (TLS S6;E15) on December 11, 1967, Lucy, Carol, and the ensemble perform “Hey, Look Me Over” with specially written lyrics to suit the episode’s theme of air travel.
In “Lucy Meets Danny Kaye” (TLS S3;E15) on December 28, 1964, the opening of “The Danny Kaye Show” is underscored with the music to “Hey, Look Me Over.”
While David Frost is trying to sleep during a transatlantic flight, Lucy wears her headset and hums along to “Hey Look Me Over” while tapping it out on the glasses with her cutlery. The scene is from “Lucy Helps David Frost Go Night-Night” (HL S4;E12) aired on November 12, 1971.
In “Lucy and Petula Clark” (HL S5;E8) in 1972, Lucy Carter leaves the office singing “Hey Look Me Over.”
On “Life With Lucy,” Lucy’s grandson Kevin plays on the YMCA soccer team The Wildcats. The name of the team is probably a reference to Lucille Ball’s only Broadway show.
In the second scene of “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” (1986), an un-aired episode of “Life With Lucy”, Lucy comes down the stairs of the living room singing “Hey Look Me Over.”
WILDCAT WILDCARDS
In April 1961, Lucille Ball played softball in Central Park for the Broadway Show League when she was appearing in Wildcat. Julie Andrews (starring in Camelot) was the catcher! The catcher was Joe E. Brown.
In the play Love! Valour! Compassion! Buzz, a gay musical theater aficionado (Nathan Lane on Broadway) breaks the fourth wall (a common conceit of the play) to tell the audience something personal about himself.
The song title was also the title of a 2018 revue about rarely produced musicals at City Center in New York City. Performer Carolee Carmello called it her “hair homage to Lucille Ball.”
~ From the memoir Under the Radar by Clifford David, who played Hal in Wildcat
#Wildcat#Lucille Ball#Lucy#Broadway#Musical#Keith Andes#Gary Morton#Paula Stewart#Valerie Harper#Clifford David#Cy Coleman#Hey Look Me Over#Alvin Theatre#Hal Linden#Richard Nash#Life With Lucy#Here's Lucy#The Lucy Show#TV
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https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/the-interview-imelda-staunton-is-tight-lipped-on-playing-the-crowns-future-queen-pkzpb76b2
Have you watched Vera Drake lately? Obviously, you have to be in a certain Saturday-night mood to turn off The Masked Singer and choose to put on Mike Leigh’s tale of a big-hearted backstreet abortionist in the East End in 1950. But it’s worth another visit. It’s one of the great British films and turbo-boosted the careers of many a character actor. Leading the ensemble cast in the title role — in an Oscar-nominated, Bafta-winning performance — was Imelda Staunton, who would become queen of them all. And possibly even the Queen. We’ll come to that.
“Just the best, best, best job of my life,” is how Staunton reflects on Vera Drake now. “Yeah, it was very hard to continue after that.”
After Vera Drake, Staunton had the little-old-lady role pretty much sewn up. The “little” is unavoidable. She’s 5ft nothing. In the hotel sideroom in which we meet, she fidgets on the edge of an armchair, sipping a juice a similar shade of green to her blouse and trench coat, which she keeps on throughout the interview. The “old” is perhaps more unfair: she was in her forties when she played Drake. We meet the day before her 64th birthday. “I think a lot of women now don’t think about their age because it’s changed for women, hasn’t it?”
She did “harrowing” again last year in ITV’s true-crime A Confession, playing the mother of Sian O’Callaghan, the 22-year-old from Swindon who was murdered in 2011. But otherwise, of late, she’s been — in the nicest way possible — British cinema’s arch biddy: in the gay-rights drama Pride; in Nanny McPhee; in the Downton Abbey movie alongside her husband, Jim Carter, who plays the long-suffering butler Carson; and as Professor Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter films. It all comes back to Mike Leigh. “I wouldn’t have got Harry Potter if my profile hadn’t been upped with Vera Drake,” she says. “They might have wanted me, but I wasn’t, you know, hot enough.”
At the end of last year, it was reported that the ultimate little-old-lady part was coming Staunton’s way: succeeding Olivia Colman as the Queen in series five and six of The Crown. Netflix played it down as “speculation”. But at a charity event at the Ivy before Christmas, Grant Tucker, the Sunday Times entertainment correspondent, asked Staunton’s husband, Carter, what it was like being married to royalty. “Thankfully I don’t have to start bowing to her for another two years,” he replied, “so I have plenty of time to practise.” So it’s true? Staunton’s reply is immediate, polite and professional: “I can’t discuss anything to do with that.” Which isn’t, you’ll note, a no.
She tells me she woke up at 4am today, thinking about her next big gig — Hello, Dolly! at the Adelphi Theatre. It isn’t on until August. Rehearsals don’t start until June. But “to me, that’s 10 minutes”, she says. “I just know the process is beginning. As Jim said, ‘This is the rest of the year, is it?’ I think about it and think about it. ‘How the hell am I going to do that?’ [Past success] means nothing at all, because it’s the next challenge. The more people say, ‘Ooh, it’s going to be great,’ the more I just get so depressed.”
And what success. In the West End, she’s busted free of the twinsets to become a bona fide, big-lunged musical star — a pocket rocket with a trail of five-star reviews and awards in her wake. Her first Olivier was back in 1991, for Into the Woods. In 2013, she won one for Sweeney Todd, in which she appeared alongside Michael Ball. Stephen Sondheim saw her performance and told her she should take on a revival of Gypsy next. The 2016 Olivier followed for that.
Her dog, Molly, a terrier, appeared on stage with her in the early performances of Gypsy, at the Chichester Festival Theatre. One time, during the West End run, a mouse snuck into her costume. “I did the whole first 20 minutes with a mouse inside the sleeve of my coat, singing the song, carrying on the scene. It’s good what your head can cope with, isn’t it?” It’s not the sort of thing that should happen to a Harry Potter star, surely? “That’s what you want. That’s the reality of the glamour of the thing.”
Staunton grew up in Archway, north London, above her mum’s hairdressing shop. Her dad was a labourer. Her mum, a first-generation Irish immigrant, was a big fan of the Queen. She died just before her daughter received her Oscar nomination for Vera Drake, and before Staunton collected her OBE and later CBE from the palace. “She’d have bloody loved all that,” she says.
She went to a convent school — “a really nice one because we had a lot of lay teachers”. Her report cards read: “Imelda could try harder, but she was very good in the play.” Her elocution teacher, Mrs Stoker, pushed her towards Rada, where contemporaries included Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall and Juliet Stevenson. When she got her first job in London, in 1982, it was in a musical: Guys and Dolls at the National Theatre. Staunton, by now used to lead roles, was only in the chorus. “I was thinking, ‘I just played Electra, what am I doing? Oh God.’” But Ian Charleson, Bob Hoskins, Julie Covington and Julia McKenzie were higher up the bill. “That’s what I was doing there: learning, really, really learning. That was wonderful.”
Also in the cast, seven years her senior, was Jim Carter. They married the following year. In 1986 they appeared together in Dennis Potter’s classic TV musical The Singing Detective. But, until the Downton movie, their working lives seldom intersected. “We don’t ever try not to work together — we just haven’t,” she says. “On the Downton film, we got completely overexcited, as we went to work for three days at the same time. What was lovely was doing the publicity together: travelling, just being in a hotel. We made sure we enjoyed ourselves.”
They have had a long-standing pact not to spend more than a couple of weeks apart, a rule Staunton broke to film Ang Lee’s Taking Woodstock (no, me neither). “I think it was five weeks: I was in America and thought, ‘Yep, that’ll do.’”
She enjoyed last summer filming Flesh and Blood, a new four-part ITV drama, on the coast near Eastbourne. “The sea does do something different to you, doesn’t it? I do think it would be brilliant to have somewhere by the sea, but it’s not going to happen.” She’s happy at home in Hampstead with Carter, walking the dog, spending days at the Test match and doing the gardening: “That’s probably an older person’s thing to say. Well, f*** it, you know? It’s healing, really healing. Having a stable place to come back to is quite necessary for me and for Jim, I think. It nourishes us. It allows us to go into a place that isn’t comfortable because you know you can get back to a more comfortable place.”
Flesh and Blood is an example of good parts being written for older people, especially women. “I’m encouraged by it,” says Staunton. “Very encouraged.” It’s not so much a whodunnit as a whodunnwot. In its rather gripping first episode, there’s a mystery body on a beach and a recent widow (played by 74-year-old Francesca Annis) starting a new life with a new fella who has a whiff of the gigolo about him. Staunton is back as the little old lady, Mary, a creepy next-door neighbour with a pair of binoculars and penchant for opening other people’s mail. This primetime drama does contain scenes of pensioners smooching.
“It’s not just for the sake of it,” says Staunton. “This isn’t trying to be ‘Oh, we’re beautiful things having sex later in life.’ There’s a loving relationship developing. The fact that [in one of Annis’s scenes] the dressing gown slips off is not extraordinary.” Would Staunton ever want a crack at being the older woman getting the, ahem, action? “I don’t think that would be required,” she replies. “I don’t think so, no — not unless it was funny.”
We talk about the trial of the film producer Harvey Weinstein. What experience has Staunton had of that grim — and criminal — casting- couch culture? “None. Absolutely none,” she says. “I’m not surprised [that it goes on], but I’ve always been in situations where women are treated equally. In the rehearsal room, women behave as they wish to behave and are listened to, and that’s normal. I never thought, ‘Oh, isn’t this marvellous, somebody’s listening to me?’ I’ve never witnessed it, but I hope good will come out of this. The irony of that” — she pauses to choose the word carefully — “situation is that that man [Weinstein] has made good things happen now. Hurrah.”
It won’t come as too much of surprise that she voted Labour in last month’s election — her MP, Tulip Siddiq, has a 14,000-vote majority in Hampstead and Kilburn, Glenda Jackson’s old seat. Staunton voted for remain. She also featured in a video last year for Extinction Rebellion, organised by Richard Curtis. “It was a friend who said, ‘Could you come along, they’re just doing it today, this bit of filming.’ Well, I was doing nothing else. I’m not climbing up the side of a building, so I’ll go and do that. If I can help, I’ll do that. As much as we can all do, every little bit helps.”
Does she worry about putting her head above the parapet like that? “No, not at all. That’s the only bloody point of any slight fame: you’ve got to use it, to put it to good use.” She has also provided the voice for some polar bears for Greenpeace. “Trump is just an absolute … It’s just a nightmare, and the climate’s a nightmare and Brexit’s a nightmare. And yet I wake up thinking about Hello, Dolly!”
At 64, Staunton seems to recognise that a Vera Drake or Hello, Dolly! might not roll round again. Even Harry Potter was, she says, “a very serious piece of work, weirdly”. She feels lucky that an actor’s life goes on. So no plans to retire? “I don’t think people do, do they? Name me an actress! No, you won’t get bloody Maggie Smith retiring. It’s a very nice job, if you can get it.” Plus, she’s still hoping someone will cast her alongside her 26-year-old daughter, Bessie, also an actress. “I’d love that. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.”
I hope they do give her the Queen job. If there’s anyone who could add some plausibility and empathy to the madcap past 12 months of royal history, from Megxit to the sweat-free antics of Prince Andrew, it is Staunton. I would pay good money to watch her, in standard-issue HRH lemon-yellow frock and tight-curled wig, look up, fix her aide with a stare and utter the words: “A Pizza Express … in Woking?”
Flesh and Blood is on ITV in February
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