#hello i am back to posting here ^_^
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ESFashionWeek23 !! gyaru / decora / ouji + lolita
#hello i am back to posting here ^_^#i was going for the full week but i was so busy at the time i really couldn't ;_;;.. but it was really fun to draw those!#ensamble stars#enstars#art#kanata shinkai#aira shiratori#hiiro amagi#kohaku oukawa#ESFashionWeek23#myart
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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
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slides in
HELLO FUNNY PEOPLE IN MY DEVICE 👋👋
HAVE QSMP AWARD TRIO/ALBERTRIO/ALBERTO TRIO DOING SILLY ACTION POSES
qsmp award trio but in their minecraft skins cus why not
also i didn’t even look at said minecraft skins for reference so bear with me. if it looks wrong no it doesn’t.
CLOSEUPS!! +
+ bonus
honestly loved the part where quackity and charlie are trying to fight, so of course i had to draw them beating the shit out of eachother.
the award of best PVPer goes to Etoile!
(based on this if you don’t remember):
ok thats all
BYEEEEEE
**UPDATE UPDATE!! I’VE GOT AN UPDATE!!!**
thank you semifontos for the name ‘Albertrio’
i still have no idea if this is correct, but i’m using it bc that is hilarious.
#qsmp awards#quackity#slimecicle#missa#quackity fanart#slimecicle fanart#missa fanart#qsmp award trio#alberto trio#albertrio#also hello#i am back#i probs wont be posting frequently but im still here doin the thing#also if saw my style change no you didn’t#spatcat!!art
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popipopipopipo popiiiiiiiiiiiiii
#hello here is a post i am banishing myself back into the earth for another month now#i think soap would like miku#doodles#mw2 fanart#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#soap x ghost#popipo#mw2 2022#ghost mw2#they r so silly
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there is no version in which you and i don’t meet, e.t.
#i went craaaaazy writing this yesterday#on wednesday i visited an island for work and i got to swim in the ocean and go diving to see a coral farm#and of course wednesday was the winter equinox (southern hemisphere baddies hello)#and on the boat ride back i was covered in salt and i was stricken by how beautiful the world is and how grateful i am for it#despite everything bad that’s happened#and i thought you know what if everything bad that happened to me in the past led me here then i’m ok with that#and i don’t want it any other way#i keep editing this post and the tags but thank you to everyone in the notes thinking that this was written by like an actual poet#i am beyond flattered that someone compared my work to paul monette#living abroad#my writing
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did u guys know that.. genderbending and even transfem-ing your favorite male characters... doesn't actually mean you care about female characters. just some food for thought.
#saw another post doing this to characters in a completely DIFFERENT fandom the other day. one i hadn't seen it in before. wow!#if you say 'i love lesbians' and you're talking about two canonically male characters you've drawn as stereotypically sexy women#i'm going to hit you with a hammer#🫶💗💞💓❤️🩷🥰❤️🔥💖💕🫰💟💘💌😍💝#hello grace here#back to the b.sd fandom though i am SOOOOOOOO sick of people drawing/writing f.ems.kk and being like 'omg i love lesbians 🥰' no you don't#you don't even like d.azai and ch.uuya bc your fem designs & characterization change everything about them. lol
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Okay so this has come up in my real life a few times, and I don't really know how to talk about it even now in text so let me try:
Please don't tell someone what diagnosis you think they have based off of their actions when they did not ask for your opinion.
They could have that diagnosis and not want to share it.
They could not have that diagnosis but feel uncomfortable telling you what they do have.
They could just simply not want to be told that based off their actions because it could make them self conscious about those actions.
It's not your place to diagnosis, it's not always comfortable for the other person to ask them.
Yes even if you have the diagnosis you are diagnosing the other person with.
#hello! i am back#if you want i can make a post explaining my unexpected break#but im gonna try to be back on here now#but going through asks may take some time#mental illness#neurodiverent#answered#nd#neurodivergency#mental health#mental health awarness
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me signing on after 48 hrs of radio silence : does anyone....... remember me ?! hEWWO....... ?!?1 🤧
#obviously i'm exaggerating and being silly but yes hello 💛#after 2 days of contemplation and trying to get my marbles#together-- i'm here ish. i am resuming my queue and after#nearly a month? i will be getting back to my ooc msgs today#tbh? on top of all that happened i learned 2 days ago that#the company that acquired the previous company that i#worked as a contractor for is firing basically all contractors#and i may lose my job any moment from now... and my#project will get terminated for sure end of the year and as#you all know my car is basically totaled... and i am the only#person who has a job in our house rn lmao so like!! i am not#well ;' ))) my personal life is on fire too but i HAVE to get it#together. and i will fight through my discomfort writing Jim#after taking 3 weeks long of a break. idk anymore beloveds!#i will chill out with my vent posts. thanks for sticking around~#tbd#vent tw
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tumblr tried to end me, but we know that the power of gardener ian is just too powerful. here are my notes from three days of tumblr jail:
it's awful
back up your work! download your fics! get a google drive for them psds!
export your blog! apparently this is a thing!
it's awful
tumblr support told me it was a glitch and it seems to be an ongoing issue in the Great Bot War so contact them ASAP if it happens to you!
seriously back up your stuff
it's awful
i love yall so much 😤 and i’m never leaving 😤 gardenerian is INDESTRUCTIBLE 😤
#i'm gonna tumble even HARDER now#i am going to be SO ANNOYING#i am here FOREVER#HELLO#edit: 'posted to gardenerian' pop up made me emotional asdfjh WE'RE BACK BABEEEYYYYYYY
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the difference that a year of progression makes :] decided to try out shading/lighting in a different way today, definitely not perfect but very fun to mess around with !!
#hghgdjgdj the first drawing makes me wanna kms i'm pretty sure i even posted it on here💀#i'm tbh only making this post to let people know HELLO i am back and not dying and yeah i'm gonna draw again now that schools done !!!!#luce draws stuff#taglist to follow#OH FUCK I HAVENT USED MY TAGLIST IN FOREVER#ALL THE URLS ARE PROBABLY OUT OF DATE NOOOOO#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#toge inumaki#jjk fanart
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spoiler alert: chapter thirteen of pep is the begining of the stan healing arc and in the beginning of it, stan throws on his biggest, rattiest boy pajamas, puts his hair back in the standana, plays his emo throwbacks playlist and starts cleaning his entire gross ass house from top to bottom & that's based on true events bc its literally just me every time i clean my room after a major depressive episode
#sorry i'm not posting please know i am fighting demons#and the demons are whatever the hell is behind my end table#legit me rn in my death note teeshirt w my hair back in the hello kitty gloves wincing reaching into a crevice pulling something out n goin#AAAAAAAAAAA#*chugs cider*#eEWEEWeEwweEWWEWWEW#*chucks it in the trash*#shivers#idk if i'm naseous bc i have the freakin stomach flu or because of whatever fumes i am breathing in from my biohazard room#sorry i keep it real on here#every instance of pep!stan or raven being nasty#is just me like literally every time i'm so sorry i wish i was jokin#i want to be kyle pile or jersey so bad#i am a nasty gross disgusting goblin girl from hell#anyways...back to the trenches holy fuck i hate my life#but yes if ur waiting for a response...i'm sorry#i am in nasty horrible room girl hell also i'm sick#to my stomach and of my shit smh
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THIS WILL NOT DO!!! we must STAND ASIDE and let the lion CRASH through a madness of cymbals bACK TO THAT DARKJUNGLE HEART!!!! WHEN EYES WERE STILL EMBERS WAITING!! FOR A CROWNLESS PRINCE OF PALEMBANG.......
sobbing heaping crying on the floor
#this will prolly only make sense or even appeal to one (1) person. hello allie do u see this#i am so insane. alfian sa'at LORDDDD. come back singapore (singapore you were never mine. you were never here with me)#i am definitely destroying the meter and the way it's meant to be read 👍👍👍#me making those song lyric posts but for alfian sa'at's poetry? it's more likely than u think#alfian sa'at#personal
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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sleepy and v fed up w this blasted reading for japanese history class tomorrow. give me 45 minutes to finish this article and i will be back to talk about kissing or something
#for the blissfully uninitiated: hello i am history student#which is a fantastic thing to be but also a significant pain in the [REDACTED] when it wants to be#the professor for this class is almost unbearably terrible which does not exactly make me WANT to do this reading#but the exam is in like 2 weeks lol#so yk. i have the hardest life of anyone on earth etc etc#god forbid i actually do the degree i asked to do lmao#also i up early this morning to drag myself to the immigration bureau for a visa amendment#which meant a decidedly unpleasant hour on the metro during rush hour :(#its bc im applying for this english TA position in spring#its literally only for 5 days and tbh i wouldn't mind doing it for free bc i am sad like that and enjoy teaching for fun#but it IS paid - and paid work is Not Allowed under my student visa#so even though i literally have not even GOT the job (applications close today) i still had to go and apply for permission to work#watch as they dont hire me lol#oh i should mention - for those who may not know i am in tokyo this year#i am british and i usually go to uni in the uk but im on a study abroad year this year#i came to japan in sept of 2023 so ive been here for coming up on 5 months and i will be going back home in august on 2024#its weird to think that im approaching the halfway point#tbh i should really just make this a separate post but whatever#coming to japan has been very strange but a good thing i think
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beach episode!
#IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO POST THIS . LORD#i finished this like a week or two ago it just slipped my mind to actually post#anyways hello everypony#thank you to will for the lovely idea ❤️ as always#i just really like the idea of jacob being a total flake and everyone else just hanging out because theres nothing better to do#but theyre still friends because friendship is magic <3#ehehe. anyways i hope u all enjoy#sid totally throws big rocks off of bridges . i love him#anyways#siddex my beloved#OH ALSO. 70s au update#im about 1/3 through chapter 4#i had to stop writing for a bit bc i was housesitting but im back now#im having a lot of fun writing julie... i like being able to bounce around from memory to the present#and finally having jacob here is. well. its setting things in motion#my apologies for not updating you guys as often as i used to#summer is. well. its great until its not#but i promise u i am working on it !!!#that makes it sound like im not. um. just trust me guys#rlm#redlettermedia#gorilla interrupted#art#dex#sid#julie#ray grabowski#siddex#fanart
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I'll stop posting wips eventually but it's been five days since I've said anything and I don't want anyone to think I'm dead/dying/stuck in a ditch and withering away, so here's 10% of the reason I disappeared (the duck is stuck in rendering hell) (and my little baby laptop is screaming at me every time I open up this file)
I might still be mostly lurking for a little bit so please be patient with me in the meantime 🙏🙏
#seriously though I'm sorry for just up and disappearing like that#wanna talk to people and interact with them so bad lately but I just can't bring myself to do it#so the best i can manage is blabbing in the tags like always#i don't know wtf is going on but over the past few days I've just felt like i don't deserve to talk to anyone#tried to reblog posts from mutuals several times but something in my head keeps saying;#'yeah they don't actually care for your input at all and you're being a bother for even trying etc etc'#and i know deep down that's probably not true (i hope) but i can't reason it away you know#and i know the best solution to this is to just talk to someone#let it be known that i *did* make an attempt to#i tried texting someone (and succeeded) but i couldn't keep doing it and I'm back at square one (and now feel worse lmao)#i'm not really putting this here for anybody to see it as much as i am for myself#but i know that (hypothetically) this could be seen by a real human so it still kinda feels like I'm reaching out in a way which feels nice#makes me feel less like I'm shriveling up in my own self imposed solitude#so uh hello person who might be reading the tags (there's six of you guys here now which is crazy cause i post nothing but junk here lol)#((but thanks anyway for following and even more thanks for reading this if you did))#i'll make my way around all the posts i missed soon enough don't worry#i'm sorry i'm really not meaning to ignore anybody#i have drafted quite a few posts from moots that i couldn't finish leaving comments on but i have seen them#everyone here is super cool and talented as always <3 whether that be through art or writing or just finding neat posts to share#this wall of text is long enough and i'm very eeby so thank you again for reading this#tldr; not dead and i'll be okay eventually :)#not rb#hey look i didn't post a picture of my dog this time (a crime)#i'll make sure to share one the next time i get a good one
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