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#after taking 3 weeks long of a break. idk anymore beloveds!
darehearts · 24 days
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me signing on after 48 hrs of radio silence  :  does anyone.......  remember me  ?!  hEWWO....... ?!?1  🤧
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alpinefrsh · 7 months
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Hi! Baby writer here! I want to pick your brain because I like your writing!
How do you start writing? I’ve had book ideas for years, but I can’t seem to actually start writing anything. I wanna write and I wanna do this but my brain gets a little stuck at the idea part. Any tips, I guess?
How do you keep writing? My motivation is phenomenally low.
What helps you personally in the process of writing?
Do you have a beta reader for your fics?
How long have you been writing for? Can you see noticeable improvement as you keep writing?
How do you make sure the character you’re writing about has accurate characterization, do you have any tips?
Lots of love! :D
Hello there! This might be a little lengthy.
Well, usually I just have to get very strict with myself when I want to write something (no youtube, no reading fics, no gaming, etc). Easier said than done, and I actually tend to be more productive when I’m away from home, writing primarily from my phone. I suppose when there’s quite literally nothing I can do but write, it makes the decision much easier.
Also, if you’re getting stuck on a scene, don’t be afraid to rewrite and rework things. Just take whatever’s tripping you up and chuck it into a separate document. I’ve actually rewritten the first few thousand words of my next fic multiple times at this point. Finally found an angle I’m happy with not too long ago.
As for how to keep writing, it really is just a matter of dragging yourself one word at a time sometimes. I’ve got a bit of writer’s block myself at the minute, but I know that as long as I keep writing at least a little bit every day, I’ll eventually get my mojo back again. Or I’ll take a break to write something small and silly to reset my brain. That also helps sometimes. Finding a good playlist that fits the mood of the scene helps sometimes, there’s also this one playlist of videos that I’ll occasionally use. I find them helpful, but you’ve gotta be prepared to dedicate a couple of hours to doing nothing but write (with short intermittent breaks throughout). Here, just pick whichever one strikes your fancy.
No, don't really have a beta. My older sister reads my fics after I post them, so she’ll let me know if she spots any spelling errors, but for the most part it’s just me re-reading my fics in the week or so after posting to find and fix any spelling mistakes or poor wording.
My first fic on Ao3 was about 3 years ago, but I’ve been writing for more like… Idk, six years? Probably longer? Not really sure, I only started to really get into writing when I found sbi, because- I mean, have you seen that family dynamic? It’s literally so based, and not to mention versatile. You can put them anywhere and it never really feels out of place.
I’ve definitely noticed improvement in my writing. My older stuff is- well, I certainly wouldn’t want to re-read any of it. Even just the fics from the earlier stages of my crossover series (specifically fics 2 and 3) are pretty rough by my current standards. Though, thinking about it now, that might be partially because my wordcount standard has risen by a fair bit, 3-5k isn’t enough words anymore, lol.
Ah, characterization, my absolute beloved. The easiest way to nail a characterization- in my experience, that is- is to figure out how they speak. The kind of words they use most often, phrases and things. I’ve mentioned this briefly in a previous post, but I actually have a characterization notebook. It’s literally just a book filled with things people have said. I’ve got a bunch of stuff in there, certain words or phrases people use frequently, likes, dislikes- all that stuff. Though I’m very careful not to write anything speculative down, if it’s not explicitly stated to the public, it doesn’t touch the page. And on the rare occasion when I write down something from a secondhand source, I make sure to specify in no uncertain terms that the information is according to someone else, and therefore should be afforded very little merit.
To be honest, I don’t actually flip through it all that often unless I’m stressed, but the act of writing things down on paper makes things much easier to remember, in my experience.
Another thing that helps me with characterizations are voices. If you can get a character’s voice to stick in your head, that usually helps me a great deal. It’s always nice whenever a character has a more distinct voice, like Donnie, he’s pretty great for that. So’s Tommy, for that matter- but that could also just be because I’ve been watching him for a long time, lmao.
Whenever I’m really struggling to nail down a characterization, I’ll go watch clips and/or videos of whoever’s giving me trouble until I feel like I’ve got their voice back.
Original characters are a bit different, as you can’t exactly just look up clips to make sure you’re staying consistent- and I’m definitely not the person to go to for OCs- but on the occasion where I do need to make up characters, I try to make up a voice for them in my head. Give them specific accents or cadences to use whenever I write their dialogue so they hopefully don’t come across as too flat, haha
Anyway, I hope this was at all helpful, good luck with writing!! :D
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Uhhhh, idk if I'm asking for this late and somebody already asked you to write something, but for the dribble/ficlet ask, could you try writing a story based on the dialogue prompt on number 9? “You know, it’s okay to cry.” With John and Paul of course, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to.
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SORRY sorry sorry this took so long, ive just been lazy busy this week! @johns-diqi also asked for no. 9, so here you go my lovelies <3 
PS. I haven't written in a long time, so the writing is pretty awkward, but I hope you enjoy anyways!
***
April 17. 1999
One year since Linda had passed – this isn’t going to be an easy day.
Paul turns to the clock sat beside the bed he now shares with John, 06:32 am. He decides he'll never get back to sleep, and lying awake trapped alone with his thoughts would serve only to dispirit him, so he might as well get up.
He’d been back with John for a few months now, neither of them had planned on initiating any type of romance – simply after Linda had passed, they started getting in touch more and more; John started taking flights to see Paul more often, and Paul always welcomed his company.
After about 2 months or so, Paul invited John to stay the summer with him, and John accepted, since he had divorced Yoko some years prior, but had failed to find a sustainable relationship since. At some point they’d started drunkenly kissing, just like when they were two teenage boys in Liverpool; but that light-hearted kissing was quick to turn into something more – and eventually they realised their relationship had not just been renewed as something sexual, but had reverted back into the deep romance they’d felt for each other all those years ago through the 60’s.
Despite his overall contentment in his long, though deeply complicated, relationship with John over the years, Paul still wasn’t over Linda. Of course, he never would be, they were married for however many years, and some part of him would always love her – but he was happy to be with John now, and given time he knew he could move on.
He was standing by his kitchen counter, brewing himself a cup of coffee, and though he was deep in his thoughts, he could hear the sounds of Johns footsteps. His partner wrapped his arms gently around his torso, and kissed his cheek, then adding “Are you okay?”
“I’m alright love” he replied with his best attempt at enthusiasm.
For someone who barely knew Macca, it would be quite a convincing act – but John knew him the best, and had learnt over the years all those tricks Paul was inclined to use to dissuade people from ever getting too close. Pausing, John then continued with, “Paulie…I won’t be hurt if you aren’t okay. I know you love me, but you love her too, and that’s okay.”
Paul turned his neck to look at him, “Thank you Johnny. But really im okay. Okay?”
“Okay” John said half smiling, then untangling himself from Paul. He understood that this easy-going attitude was a façade, but he wasn’t going to push him into talking if he so clearly didn’t want to.  
“Are ye having breakfast then?” Paul asked.
“Nah, im gonna go take a shower” John said, already half-way across the room.
“Okay love – my kids are gonna be here at 9:00 by the way!”
***
It was Mary and her family who’d arrived first – Paul had seen her not too long ago, after she’d given birth. Then came James, then Heather, and finally Stella; there’d also been some slightly more distanced relatives, as well as close friends of Linda’s.
It was a nice day – Linda would have wanted it that way. They cooked and they drank, and they joked and they laughed, and though there was a beloved presence missing, they still had a good time together.
But sooner or later, after everyone was just about surpassing tipsy, and had been telling and retelling those nostalgic memories from the farm, or from the studio, or from wherever it may be, Paul had disappeared upstairs. Noticing he’d been gone for 20 minutes or so, John snuck off to look for him.
He found him sat on the edge of their bed, looking out the window, though clearly caught up more in his thoughts then anything outside that window.
He knocked gently on the door, then asked, “Are you okay Paul?”
“Im fine, yeah, thanks” he rapidly retaliated.
John took a few steps closer to his partner, then muttered “Paulie…”
Sat beside one another on their bed, Paul sighed and continued, “I just- I just miss her. Cause she was here for so long, and now she’s gone y’know.” His voice was closing up more with every word, but he still persisted in saying, “And im getting along okay now, and im not depressed so often anymore, but looking at those photos…I dunno. I-” he paused as a tear slid down his face, he swiftly brushed it away.
John replied carefully with, “Y’know, Paulie, it’s okay to cry.” then wrapping an arm around his partners waist.
“I don’t need to cry…” he replied defensively, though it was clear that by now there was a plentiful amount of tears running from his eyes already.
“You don’t need to, but its fine if you do. We’re not in Liverpool love, you can let your guard down.”
He tried to reply sternly with, “Johnny…” but he couldn’t even finish the word without his voice breaking halfway through. With all defences abandoned, Paul simply curled up into Johns arms and wept and whimpered, for all that he missed about Linda; John understood any resolution he could offer him would simply be futile, and knew it was best just to let him weep – and so he held Paul in his arms, affectionately rubbing him, as his boyfriend held his face in his palms pouring out all those emotions, all the shame and regret and pain that is unfortunately so imperative to grief.
***
After some time had passed, Paul started to calm down, and soon enough he’d stopped pouring his eyes out. And it seemed that suddenly he was enlightened by that newfound liberty a person feels after they’ve cried – as though they’re no longer confined with all those emotions that had been clogging up their head for so long. And just like John had been murmuring to him all day, it really did feel okay now.
“I love you, Johnny…” Paul said quietly, now smiling as he bundled his arms around his partners neck. He brought him in for an impassioned kiss – but he was quick to break it off by adding “I love you, but my kids are gonna be wondering where the hell we are, so we better get back!”
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jaskier’s breakup album
alright full disclosure i probably went into way more detail than i needed to. but jaskiers a dramatic little shit and therefore so am i. but this album slowly became my baby and I've been listening to it for the last 2 weeks while I've been doing homework and its a good sad bop. these are just my opinions, but i think it would be cool to see what other people think (esp because im fairly new to this fandom). also this post is really long. sorry about that. 
so. we all know jaskier is a bard. he traipses around writing songs about whatever fling he's having or about his witcher. netflix canon makes it pretty clear that geralt is one of jaskiers muses (and probably one of his more reliable ones given what we know about jaskiers dating history). jaskier is also very, very dramatic (as I'm sure everyone knows cause he's the damn comic relief that show desperately needs). in particular though the scene at the beginning of 1x05 where geralt is djinn hunting and jaskier stumbles upon him, drunk, singing off key, and rambles about how "the countess de stael, my muse and beauty of this world, has left me. again. rather coldly and unexpectedly, i might add. i fear i shall die a broken hearted man” and jaskier is clearly half muttering some sad attempt at a breakup song he's trying to write at the beginning of the episode so the question is, wouldn't he do the same thing post mountain scream down with geralt?
the answer is of course, yes he would because jaskier is nothing if not a dramatic little shit. and i am proposing that he writes not only one but an entire album (or set if this is canon era, but if this is canon i think he would keep a great many of these songs to himself, only playing a few select ones with the hopes that someday geralt will hear one and realize how badly he fucked up) of break songs and lamentations about geralt, because say all you want about what their relationship is, but one does not simply go traipsing around the entire continent with someone for 20 years and not grow close to them in some way shape or form (and the show makes it clear that geralt is at least one of jaskiers close friends so). now what is on this breakup album? well I'm glad you asked.
i peg jaskiers music (modern or canon honestly) for this album as being a combination of taylor swift’s folklore/evermore albums and james arthur and ill explain why. 
taylor swifts folklore/evermore albums have this almost ethereal, floaty, reminiscent, indie vibes. there are many metaphors, recurring themes and its overall kinda dramatic at points which i feel is exactly what jaskier would be doing right now (it also just kinda gives me canon era vibes, idk). but james arthurs music is much more emotionally intense which i think is definitely in character for jaskier at this point because he strikes me as someone who copes with things through his music. both artists do the sings through story telling in an almost monologue manner which goes along with that kinda bardic music and all that. i also think that jaskier would want geralt to know that these songs are about him because hes dramatic like that (kinda like how taylor swift writes her stuff). anyway here's what i think would be on his breakup album: 
heres a link to the playlist
1. the lakes - taylor swift 2. from me to you i hate everybody - james arthur 3. maybe - james arthur 4. sad eyes - james arthur 5. hoax - taylor swift 6. naked - james arthur 7. right where you left me - taylor swift 8. all too well - taylor swift 9. impossible - james arthur 10. exile - taylor swift 11. illicit affairs -taylor swift 12. safe inside - james arthur 13. quite miss home -james arthur 14. my tears ricochet  -taylor swift 15. phoenix - james arthur 16. this is me trying - taylor swift  17. happiness - taylor swift 18. death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 19. empty space - james arthur 20. coney island - taylor swift 21. new years day - taylor swift 22. the 1 -taylow swift
so theres 22 songs which im sure jaskier would do on purpose cause hes a dramatic little shit ( “one song for every year i wasted on you” or something of that sort). jaskier being a dramatic little shit is going to be a recurring theme. some of them work better for modern era than canon era but as a whole this can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic. anyway lets unpack. 
1. the lakes by taylor swift (more canon era interpretation)
this song is the bonus and final track off of folklore. the song is actually about how she wants to go live in seclusion with her boyfriend out of the public eye but that is not what it means in this interpretation. i think that this song is about how jaskier feels as though his career as a bard is tainted now because he spent so many years singing geralts praises and there is no way he will be able to escape that part of his life because undoubtedly hes going to get requests for toss a coin and others he wrote about geralt and people will probably know him as “the witchers bard”. so this song is him talking about how he wants to run away and live out his life in seclusion because geralt took from him one of the only happinesses in his life. 
Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse 
the line “i dont belong and my beloved neither do you” references the fact that jaskier feels like an outcast now that he’s spent years traveling around with a witcher, notoriously outcasts from society, so he feels that he doesnt belong anymore either.
I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow Right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here
the second stanza references his idealization of living out his life in solitude, with nature, where no one can judge him (and geralt cant yell at him). 
jasper would have started this album with that song because it states his intentions: he feels as though he’s done with singing. it could also refer to him leaving the public eye (in modern era) to write this album.
2. from me to you i hate everybody by james arthur (more canon era interpretation) 
songs 2-4 on jaskiers album are ones that he wrote at various points while he and geralt were still together/best friends/etc. these three songs establish what the relationship was like before everything went downhill, but they are kind of melancholy, like looking back on a past love (which is what jaskier is doing). this one jaskier wrote about when they met. geralt would have heard him play it before and he would have known that this song was about him (he probably also secretly liked it and jaskier putting it on his album would have been like a slap in the face because it wasn't one that he had shared with other people, thinking it to be too personal). if this album had been released in modern era, jaskier would have released this song as a single to get geralts attention. he would have definitely wanted geralt to know that this album was about him. 
I used to come here on my own and drink So I didn't have to think or hear the whispering I stand with people telling lies again In suits and ties again and I just need a friend
they meet in the tavern and its clear that jaskier is Not having a good time and really just needs a friend, hence why he decides to go talk to geralt.
You walked into the room and cut the atmosphere like a knife, alright Sobering mind 'cause up to now, I've just been wasting my time, ooh yeah
the “wasting my time” part is of particular interest because it clearly articulates that jaskier feels as though adventuring around with geralt was the best part of his life and before that he'd just been a bard with debatable songs. the song as a whole makes it sound like geralt was jaskiers lifeline.
3. maybe by james arthur (modern or canon era works)
this song, while geralt would know immediately it was about him, was not one jaskier ever shared with geralt. it would have been written a few years after he and geralt had met initially. the reason that jaskier never shared it was because it talks about destiny and geralt made it Very Clear that he does not want to fuck with destiny.
I don't know what's going on Where you came from and why you took so long All I know is that I feel it Like it's the realest thing, I mean it Something changed when I saw you Oh, my eyes can't lie You said, "They're so damn blue And I love how you're so forward Is it too soon to say I'm falling?"
this would have been what young jaskier felt over the course of a few years after traveling around (or befriending if this is modern). There was probably a slip up somewhere, or jaskier just thought that he got really good at interpreting geralts grunts and the line about the eyes is what he hoped/imagined/thought geralt was saying to him in return. 
So maybe Maybe we were always meant to meet Like this was somehow destiny Like you already know Your heart will never be broken by me So is it crazy For you to tell your friends to go on home? So we can be here all alone Fall in love tonight And spend the rest of our lives as one
jaskier probably thinks that destiny is some wildly romantic thing hence why he compares them meeting to destiny. the line about heart break would have also hit especially hard after the mountain scene. also i think its pretty clear that jaskier wants to spend as much of his life traipsing around with geralt in the show (modern era wouldn't have been any different), hence wanting to spend the rest of his life with geralt. 
Oh, is it too crazy For you to tell your brothers about me? They told me they'll protect you But I'll look them in the eye Tell them you and I will be as one
this is the part that sells it for me. i think that geralt lambert and eskel would all be very close (admittedly i havent read the books but i kinda get that vibe from the fandom so). this part about geralt telling his bothers about jaskier and then jaskier probably meeting them would have been an Important Moment. 
4. sad eyes by james arthur (modern or canon works) 
aright so im not sure if geralt has heard this one before. i can see it going both ways. its a possibility that jaskier wrote it at some point and then would kinda sing it softly when hes patching geralt up after a particularly rough hunt so its one of those where like geralts not quite sure what the song is but then he hears it on this album (cause say this was modern era and jaskier actually did release this album geralt would totally buy it after a few weeks and then realize how badly he'd actually fucked up) and is like shit thats what he was singing all along?? but anyway this one is essentially about how jaskier thinks geralt puts too much pressure on himself and all that stuff
You wear the burden World on your shoulders, babe So let me hold the weight I know you're hurting Deep as the coldest pain But this is the order sayin'
essentially jaskier can see through geralts bs and hes calling him out on it and wants him to just take care of himself for once (see: the scene in 1x05 when geralt says he cant sleep) 
5. hoax by taylor swift (canon or modern works)
so this song begins the plethora of break up songs that jaskier wrote about geralt. this one would have been written some time after the incident, after jaskier has some time to reflect on the whole thing. i know that taylor wrote this  song about enduring a toxic relationship, which kind of works if you think about the way that geralts treated jaskier and how jaskier interpreted it (but im not implying that their relationship was toxic or abusive or anything) 
My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire
jaskiers plan was to reinvent geralts image and geralt did not think that it was worth it. jaskier is just sorta his side kick (who gets him into trouble, as geralt points out) and geralt kicks him aside like he doesnt mean anything to him (like ash from a fire
Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do
this is a little more literal with the screaming on the cliffside. jaskier wanted a reason to stay and geralt didnt want him to. jaskier knows that witchers dont feel emotions (or at least not like humans do) so hes been tricking himself into believing that geralt actually liked having him around, knowing that it was probably going to blow up in his face at some point. but he doesnt quite regret it, and doesnt want to be sad over anyone else.
6. naked by james arthur (modern or canon works)
this kind of goes along with hoax, jaskier probably wrote them around the same time. he’s admitting in this song that he would be willing to try to work it out with geralt, but geralt needs to change first (needs to actually communicate and let him in and all that stuff). 
'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can But all you ever do is mess it up Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear That getting half of you just ain't enough
hes quoting geralts words back at him here ( “all you ever do is mess it up” is pretty similar to the line about shoveling shit), saying that all hes ever tried to do is be good and kind to geralt, but geralt hasn't really done the same in return and while jaskier may have dragged him into some things, geralt also needs to take responsibility for what hes done as well. 
7. right where you left me (modern or canon works)
this starts the Real Sad Boy Hours songs. this would refer to how he felt pretty much right after, not knowing what to do because geralt had been so much a part of his life for so long: 
Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight" I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared
this is kind of the processing of the event. and also the moment on the album where the audience would realize that this relationship that he's been telling about until now definitely ended. this song isn't super super emotional, its more a jumble of thoughts cause he didnt know what to feel after the breakup happened. although he didnt write it right after the break up, it was written much after as a looking back.
8. all too well by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)
(the link to this one is from a live performance because i like the emotion in this one better) so this song is not off of folklore (its off of red) but its such a powerful, painful breakup song that i had to include it in the lineup because it seems like something that jaskier would have written very very soon after the incident. the memories especially that she touches on in the song (driving upstate, dancing in the fridge light, looking at the photo album, etc) are all very powerful and real and i can see jaskier doing the same thing. again, if this were modern era i think that he might release this one as a single. theres so much to unpack in this song, this ones gonna be a little longer oops.
Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well
this clearly references the mountain scene. they were a pretty good duo until geralt blamed him for all his problems. and jaskier was effectively stuck on the top of a very dangerous mountain that he would have had to navigate down by himself. 
Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone
jaskier spent half of his life following geralt around, its likely that he doesnt know what to do with himself or his life now that he doesnt have geralt to follow around on adventures. he doesnt know what to do anymore (see the first song).
But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah
this is more of a hope that jaskier has. he hopes that geralts held onto something of his that he left behind. maybe he left a shirt in one of roaches saddle bags (canon) or a notebook in their apartment (modern) that geralt just cant seem to get rid of. he would like to think that he had an impact on geralts life and that it wasn't just all for nothing. in the beginning, he wants geralt to be just as hurt as he is.
'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
this is a dig at geralt. he'd never had someone to follow him around on adventures before, much less a human. as far as we know it seems like jaskiers the first human that has even given him the time of day. this is jaskiers way of throwing it back in geralts face
9. impossible by james arthur (canon or modern works) 
this would have also been written very soon after the incident. it is more jaskier being mad at himself for not seeing the signs than him being mad at geralt. it is almost like his admittance of the event and like hes finally accepting what happened.
I remember years ago Someone told me I should take Caution when it comes to love, I did And you were strong and I was not My illusion, my mistake I was careless, I forgot, I did
jaskier is someone who clearly falls in love (or at least screws around with people) easily so its likely that someone would have given him some advice along these lines once. but when he met geralt its likely that this caution went to the wind. 
When all is done, there is nothing to say And if you're done with embarrassing me On your own you can go ahead, tell them
Tell them all I know now Shout it from the rooftops Write it on the skyline All we had is gone now Tell them I was happy And my heart is broken All my scars are open Tell them what I hoped would be impossible
this hints at the first song on the album. jaskier has no stomach for singing for audiences asking to hear about the adventures of geralt of rivia. this is his way of telling geralt that, almost as his punishment, he should have to deal with the people who ask why hes not traveling with his bard anymore, because jaskier has no intention of doing so. this is pretty brutal because (as we know) geralt doesnt really enjoy talking about feelings, or talking at all in general.
10. exile by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)
this is a fictitious conversation that jaskier wrote as occurring between him and geralt. it can be looked at either way but i think it makes more sense if bon iver is jaskier and taylor is geralt. 
I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before
this first chorus is from jaskiers perspective. note the use of “homeland,” as home becomes a theme on jaskiers album. in geralts version of the chorus the line instead is “youre not my problem anymore” which is probably what jaskier took the whole mountain thing to mean. 
All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)
(the () in this are geralt) this is jaskiers lamentations about how he didnt notice geralts abject discomfort in their relationship and also his regrets in not being able to remedy the situation. 
11. illicit affairs by taylor swift (modern or canon works) 
so this song is clearly and obviously about an affair. however, i have seen interpretations of the song where people view it as being in a relationship that is  so intense and well hidden that in a sense it is almost like an affair, like in the aftermath you’re not even sure if it was real or you deemed it because there isnt really a trace of this other person anymore, and that is the way i think jaskier would have written this song. 
And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else
the dont call me kid, dont call me baby part would reference jaskiers humanity, he has a normal human lifespan at least in canon (very much unlike geralt) so geralt might brush him off as being young and stupid. jaskier would have made this album to show geralt that hes not being young and stupid, that this did screw him up, and hes suffering cause of it. kind of like a reality check or a slap in the face.
Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times
the secret language would of course refer to geralt himself. hes a hard man to understand (especially cause half his vocabulary is grunts) and hes also a witcher. so jasper had to learn to understand him and now he has no use for that anymore. and the ending line about ruining myself. that would be jaskiers admittance that he would do it again, he'd do it all again, which comes back up in later songs.
12. safe inside by james arthur (canon era interpretation)
this is one that jaskier would have written maybe a week or so after the incident. the song itself deals with distance and coping with not being in someones life anymore, and i think that that is something that jaskier would struggle to cope with because hes not sure he wants geralt to be alone. this song is more for jaskier than for geralt. 
Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life
obviously geralt can take care of himself, but its kinda clear that he doesnt much like his life as a witcher (the part where he talks about them getting slow and killed). so this is kind of jaskiers way of almost reminding geralt that his life on the path is still beautiful and important now that he back by himself. 
Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside
this is more jaskier worrying about geralt being by himself. he hopes that hes okay in the aftermath of this this and that hes taking care of himself still. because of course jaskier would write a whole breakup album but still write one song about how he hopes the person is doing well.
13. quite miss home by james arthur (modern era interpretation)
this song. oh my god. its so amazing. if you dont listen to any of these, at least listen to this one (actually im pretty sure no ones read to this point so if you have thanks). this song is kind of more along the same vein as the previous one, how jaskier misses geralt but its more for him than geralt. he would have probably written it at like 3am in a fit of tears and weakness, and debated long and hard about whether or not to put it on the album, but done it anyway because what does he have to lose? theres a lot to unpack here tho so this is going to be a longer one. (sorry)
I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside You're careful not to let the smoke inside I always tell you it's poison But I know it helps you take the edge off the day We get a drink before it's closing time The one on high street with the blinking sign All these memories feel poignant I won't be there to see the snow melt away
this is a very very clear picture of an event that seems to have happened a great many times, so much so that it seems like second nature. its like a little glimpse into what their life was before this incident. its intimate, but it still is melancholy.
Whoa I'm in another city I got nobody with me And it just really hit me
this is where jaskier is now, it provides some opposition. its like a culture shock almost, like hes so used to this intimate lifestyle with another person that its jarring to be by himself.
That I quite miss home And I miss you telling me To leave my shoes at the door 'Cause you just swept the floor And the dirt drives you crazy Yeah, I quite miss home 'Cause it feels like poetry When the rain falls down on the window While you're in my arms And we're watching the TV Yeah, I quite miss home
the key here is what jaskier is referring to as “home.” it's not the place, its geralt himself. all these memories center around him, not an establishment. (calling geralt “home” comes back in later songs.) again, this mosh of memories is like theres so many of them that its almost overwhelming but its stemming from jaskiers need to feel something other than lonely and hes craving this reality that hes lost.
14. my tears ricochet by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)
this is a song that really emphasizes jaskiers dramatic little shit tendencies. this is something that he wrote, trying to predict what geralts reaction would be if he found out that jaskier died. this is really just jaskier fantasizing that geralt didnt actually mean any of what he said and does still care about him. theres many lines in here that are jabs at geralt (if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? and Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?), but i think this is the most important one:
And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies
this is again, jaskier referring to geralt as home. as seen in the last song, he clearly wants to go there, but he cant. this could also refer to where he grew up, which he cant go to either because his parents still view him as a disappointment (as seen in finally). jaskier saying he still talks to geralt is completely in character, he probably still curses him and the whole thing. but the part about geralt not being able to sleep at night and hearing his stolen lullabies is really hard hitting. jaskier likes to think that geralt wouldn't be able to sleep without his banter or his lute playing or something of that nature. over all its a very powerful song.
15. phoenix by james arthur (modern or canon works) 
this is a fictitious apology that jaskier wrote from geralts pov, kind of what he wished that geralt would say, but knows that he won't. 
Let me, let me begin Let me begin, with an I.O.U Who I owe everything to Lately, lately my friend Lately, you think I'm ignoring you But I've been trying to pull through All of the pain, I know you're looking down, down on me I could have been someone I hurt everyone Pushed away everyone who got near
in this “geralt” outlines what he did wrong, and that he didnt mea what he said at all. again, this is more for jaskiers benefit because he knows that even if geralt were to apologize to him, it wouldn't be to this extent.
16. this is me trying by taylor swift (modern or canon works)
this is jaskier trying to articulate the fact that hes trying to pick himself back up after everything, his way of showing his “healing process” and that he can do it, he doesnt need geralt (as the song shows, its not going very well)
And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying
its showing that jaskier is having trouble enjoying things that he once did (like parties) because hes still so distraught over what happened with geralt, but at the same time he also wants to show geralt that he doesnt need him. it has a very i dont care kind of attitude, but jaskier at the same time is having a hard time showing geralt that hes doing okay, hence the “maybe i dont quite know what to say” which is out of character for the very talkative bard
17. happiness by taylor swift (modern or canon works)
this is more him convincing himself that things will be okay. he's clearly trying at this point to move on, but its proving difficult because geralt was his happiness for so long:
There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness
he also repeats the line “havent me the new me yet” a few times, which i think is again him trying to convince himself that its going to get better and he will move on from it. but this line is the one that i think hurts the most:
No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too
this implies that 1. he still thinks geralts a good man (not a monster) and 2. that he knows he hurt him to and doesn't know how to fix either of them. this is also kind of him giving up on how to fix it, but him recognizing they were both at fault is important for the arc of the story.
18. death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift (modern or canon works)
this is another song that is not off of folklore (its from lover), but i wanted to include it because it think it has a little bit of anger to it (especially in this live acoustic version that i linked) which i think that jaskier would feel a few weeks post incident in a fit of rage, like why am i still feeling this way? why did you think that this was okay?? and its right after happiness, which shows that his healing really isn't linear. there's many lines in this song that pertain to geralt and jaskier and i could talk about the whole thing but im not going to
But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?
this i think is very jaskier. its so raw and like, i know this is over, why am i still writing about it? why am i making an album about this? why should this still matter to me? its very angry and again, like many of the songs, like a slap.
My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave up on me like I was a bad drug Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts
this part, especially if you listen to her sing it, (which i would HIGHLY RECOMMEND BTW) is very passive aggressive and the the last line is like quite sarcastic and downplays it, like, yes you put me through all of this, but i guess its *just* a thousand cuts. this really shows that in many ways geralt was a part of jaskiers life, and his sudden removal from it would have stung in many ways, and thats not something that you can get over quickly. 
19. empty space by james arthur (modern or canon era works)
this song starts the beginning of jaskier getting over geralt. these last 4 songs would have been written much after the incident, after hes had time to think, but there's still this nagging in the back of his head thats like, well what if im being stupid and he is the one and im supposed to go back?
I don't see you You're not in every window I look through And I don't miss you You're not in every single thing I do I don't think we're meant to be And you are not the missing piece I won't hear it Whenever anybody says your name And I won't feel it Even when I'm burstin' into flames I don't regret the day I left I don't believe that I was blessed I'm probably lyin' to myself again
this is more what jaskier wants to be, not what he actually is. he thinks that hes over geralt, but hes not (the chorus gets into it more but im not going to talk about it here, but it essentially says “only you can fill this empty space”) clearly jaskier is further along in his healing process, but hes still having second thoughts. he wants to be over him, but he knows hes lying to himself, very deep down. 
20. coney island by taylor swift (more modern era interpretation)
this is the true moving on song. it’s still laced with memories and speculation, but it puts clear distance between the two of them, much more so than empty space does because it lacks the longing. it just shows things for what they are. 
And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold
its apologetic, but nothing more than that. it dwells more on what could have been rather than what he wants it to still be. 
The question pounds my head What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?
this is interesting because it addresses their immortality and how they've been together for years and also the way in which they left things (paradise). but it also implies that things were on the downfall. and the last two lines about forgiveness is interesting because it then calls geralt “too wise to trust me and too old to care” meaning its more a wish of jaskiers rather than something he knows geralt will do.
Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line By the gold clock Did I leave you hanging every single day? Were you standing in the hallway With a big cake, happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? A universe away And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name
these are all very specific, very intimate moments that would clearly mean something to geralt. and it further implies that jaskier is uncertain if he actually made geralt feel appreciated when they were together. but again, its more what could have been rather than what jaskier wanted it to be, which is a nice segway into the last two songs. 
21. new years day by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)
this is another one not from folklore, this song is the closing track on reputation, but i like the nostalgia of it so i decided to include it (and it also has good parallels to the last song). initially jaskier intended for this to be the last song on the album, but decided to add another one last minute (and we will get into why). this song is more jaskiers muted longing to still be with geralt, albeit in the far future. 
There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before but Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
this interpretation is very much like the actual songs interpretation: the desire to stay with someone through the unexciting parts of life, like cleaning up after a party on new years day. additionally, wanting to start something new with someone (being there with them past the midnight kiss and actually starting the first day of the year with them). additionally though, there is the line of “dont read the last page” which refers to the last song on the album, which we will get to. 
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
this is more jaskiers reality. hes torn between holding onto these memories and hopes and actually facing reality. he wants to hold on to geralt, but he also kinda wants to move on. and the last line about the laugh, thats more jaskiers own hope, he hopes that he will come across geralt again and things will work themselves out.
22. the 1 by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)
the decision to make this song the last one on the album was a very last minute decision, and it was written significantly after the rest of the songs. the reason for this was without this last song, the album ends on a note of hope “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” but this last song is more of a reality check and acknowledgment that what's done is done and that it will never be again. 
I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though
this refers to the fact that its been some time since the whole thing and jaskiers kind of changed a little bit. he claims hes doing good, and maybe is going to try out a new career (since the first song references wanting to put music down for awhile). seeing geralt at the bus stop is a reference to cardigan where he says “chasing shadows in the grocery line” where hes not actively looking for geralt anymore and it doesnt upset him that he didnt see him.
I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now
this is jaskier saying that hes almost glad that it happened because it gave him a new perspective and it was a learning experience. he also says that its alright, which is the second time that hes said hes okay, which probably means he isnt completely, but hes much closer than he was on the rest of the album because hes not still looking for geralt at every turn
I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now I guess you never know, never know And it's another day, waking up alone
this is jaskier acknowledging the fact that geralt has probably long since moved on with his life, either with other romantic people or with his life entirely (the first time he does this on the album). he says that while their love or friendship was unconventional it still was definitely something (implying that it may have been one of the greatest loves of his life). and the waking up alone part references quite miss home and being by himself, but it isnt sad, its just a fact at this point.
But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one
this is the part where we see that jaskier has grown. hes recognized that his wanting to be with geralt was never anything more than a fleeting wish or a moment that couldn't last. but he knows that it had potential and it could have worked but it didnt and thats okay. in the last chorus the pennies line is “rosé flowing with your chosen family” which implies that he and geralt were close enough to know each others family (chosen or real), meaning that it meant something. and he wouldn't have minded a long term relationship with geralt, but its not what happened.
in new years day jaskier says “dont read the last page” this song is that last page. part of him still doesnt want geralt to know that hes put aside the hope of it working because he wants to still keep himself open for geralt, but knows that  its not healthy and ultimately he needs to move on. hes essentially giving geralt the choice: remember jaskier as wanting to get back with him (since the last line of the album would have been “please dont ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere” or let him have the knowledge that jaskier is done with him (since the official last line of the album is “but it would have been fun if you would've been the one”)
anyway thats jaskiers breakup album. i put way too much effort into this. and if you actually read through the whole thing, thank you and please let me know what you think!! if you use this for fics or have your own interpretations please please tag me, id love to see!!
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noodlesrgucci · 5 years
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For the First and Last Time
Summary: Shoto and his terminally ill S/O show each other just how much they value one another.
Pairings: Shoto Todoroki x female reader
Words: 1880
Warnings: Smut, Angst,
This was just supposed to be angst idk how it turned into smut
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Just one more week.
One mere week, that’s all she had left.
Y/N sat there on her bed, reflecting over her past choices. Her once lovely eyes were tinted red because of her crying.
Once upon a time, she had been healthy. She was able to genuinely laugh and make plans about her future.
But she didn’t have a future. And she knew this to be true since three years ago. Approximately a week before Y/N started her freshman year at UA, she received news that changed her entire outlook on life.
She had been diagnosed with a terminal disease.
The emotions she felt that day could not be explained by words. She had woken up that day wishing for time to go by faster so that she could start her school year.
But now, now she wished for the time to slow down.
Even though she knew what her fate was, she still started her school year in UA. She decided to ignore the signs that told her she should just relax and she enjoy the time she had left with her family. Instead, she worked hard every single day. Her hero career became her number one priority and it was clear to her peers and teachers that the girl had a promising hero career ahead of her. She also figured that what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.
After all, ignorance is a bliss.
Throughout her school year she met numerous people, many of which became her best friends.
Best friends that she constantly lied to and deceived with a fake smile. She lied about all her visits to the hospital and medicine she had to take.
One of the people she met was Shoto Todoroki. The boy whom she fell hopelessly in love with.
She soon figured out that Shoto also held some affections for her. By the beginning of her second year at UA, Y/N was dating him.
She knew it was wrong. It was wrong to form relationships and live life normally as if nothing was wrong. As if she had all the time in the world to live. Yet being with Shoto made her forget for an instant just what her fate had in store for her. She held on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, she could live to grow old by Shoto’s side and be with him forever.
But life doesn’t work that way.
Time flew and Y/N found herself getting weaker and weaker by the moment. This didn’t go unnoticed by the people around her. They noticed how she got easily tired during exercises and how much weaker her quirk became.
By the beginning of her third year in UA, Y/N could barely use her quirk correctly. It malfunctioned almost every time she used it and this made take numerous visits to Recovery Girl’s office.
One time Shoto and Y/N were having a conversation about what they wanted to do after their school life was over. He had said that he wanted to marry her in the future and share a household with her.
Y/N didn’t bother to hold in her tears. She became a sobbing mess and that’s when she finally told him the truth.
Shoto’s face after realization hit him would be forever engraved into Y/N’s memory. Shoto finally understood why his girlfriend looked and sounded so weak.
She was slowly dying.
Time continued to pass and Shoto had done everything in his power to help Y/N. He always reminded her to take her medications and visit her doctors. He even stayed up late at nights trying to see if there was a cure for her disease. But he was unsuccessful.
Y/N couldn’t even use her quirk anymore. Any type of exercise would cause her to collapse on the floor and passs out. Her appetite was also lost and she didn’t seem interested in her favorites food anymore.
Shoto had to watch as the light of his life was slowly fading away. Y/N had brought so many smiles to his face. She even encouraged him to use his fire quirk and be more social. But now, he was slowly seeing her fall apart.
Currently Y/N was sitting on her bed crying. I’m just two months, her graduation ceremony would take place. Most of her peers were celebrating, but Y/N couldn’t have the same luxury.
She had less than a week left after all.
She lifted her head as she heard the distant footsteps of Shoto. He opened her door and greeted her with a sad eyes.
Y/N attempted to give him a smile, but he saw right through her efforts of putting on a fake smile. Shoto’s eyes were tired as if he hadn't slept in weeks. And he hadn't. He couldn't bring himself to sleep knowing that his beloved would soon leave him. He wanted to stay with her. He wanted to love her.
Suddenly, Shoto lounged himself at her and captured her small body in a hug. Y/N immediately hugged him back. No words were needed to express what they were both feeling.
Shoto was in denial. He couldn’t believe that a benign being such as Y/N had to go through all of this. There were so many criminals that grew old doing nothing but evil deeds. There were terrorists that lived a full and healthy life.
But fate is cruel.
The girl that had a life ahead of her had to be the one to get ill and suffer.
Shoto was brought out of his throughts by the sobbing of the girl he was holding. He finally took the time to take in her appearance. She looked weak and defeated.
“ Shoto...” Y/N weakly said. “ I don’t wanna die! I wanna live a long life by your side! I want to become a top hero! I want to graduate! There are so many things I want to do!”
Y/N continued to talk about everything she wanted to do. She talked about her dreams and ambitions. She also mentioned places she’d like to visit.
“ I also wanted to marry you someday!” Y/N was violently sobbing by now and Shoto was doing his best to comfort her. He was doing his best to keep his tears in.
He wanted to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be ok. He wanted to be her hero and to see her smiling. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t even guarantee that she’d be alive tomorrow.
It killed him inside that his lover was slowly dying and he couldn’t do anything about it.
“ We can get married tomorrow . We are already of legal age. No, we can get married today!”
Y/N shook her head and denied Shoto’s offer. She stared at her with sad and defeated eyes. As if telling him that she knew that she wouldn’t make it. This made Shoto break. He couldn’t control the tears that came out of his eyes at a rapid pace.
“ I love you! Please, don’t leave me! You are the most important person in my life! We can find a cure, know we can! Even if we have to travel the entire world for it! I’ll even quit my hero career in order to achieve that! But please, just hold on a little longer, please, my love!”
By now Shoto was crying. He was begging her to stay with him. He held on to the slightest hope that she’d be able to get help and continue living her life as the joyful girl she was once.
“ I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I knew I was terminally ill ever since we were freshman. Yet I still allowed myself to fall for you. When you confessed to me, I should’ve rejected you! I should’ve distanced myself so that I wouldn’t cause you this pain! But I was so selfish! I am so sorry!”
Shoto held her closer and assured her that being with her was the best decision he had ever made. They continued to hug each other in complete silence. Only the sound of their sobs could be heard around the room.
They just wished to stay like that. They wanted the clock to stop ticking so that they could forever be togother.
“ Shoto, I wanna try something...” Y/N whispered after a few moments of silence.
“ What is it?”
There was a moment of silence as Y/N had a debate with herself.
“ Make love to me.”
Shoto’s eyes widened and his breath hitched. He was not expecting that. Y/N noticed his confusion and decided to explain her reasoning.
“ I want to show you just how much I actually value you. I...I want to be as close to you as I can right now!” Y/N struggled with her word choices but it was enough for Shoto to understand.
Shoto leaned in and kissed her forehead. He accepted her request and realized that he also wanted to be close to her, he wanted to please her.
Their lips connected in a warm kiss. Their kiss held so many emotions. It felt like a goodbye. As if that was the last kiss they’d have. Shoto nibbled at her skin and kissed her cleavage.
Slowly clothing was removed. Shoto stared down at Y/N who was only wearing her panties. Her chest was now exposed to Shoto.
“ You are so beautiful, love.”
This made Y/N blush. Her bashful expression made Shoto fall in love with her all over again.
Shoto kisses her once again. This time it was more passionate and needy. He continued to distribute kisses throughout her body. They grind onto each other and shared more kisses.
The sounds that left Y/N’s mouth were music to Shoto’s ears. He wanted to memorize this moment. He wanted to remember how her skin felt against his, how she moaned his name, and how she tasted like.
It was not long until both of them were completely naked. They were both lost in each other’s eyes. Shoto slowly moved himself into her. After some pain, she waited to adjust to his size.
Shoto moved slowly yet sensual. They weren’t in a rush. All they wanted was each other. Shoto leaned down and buried his face on the crook of her neck. Y/N felt his tears fall down her shoulder. Shoto couldn’t help himself. He cried as he went inside of her.
Y/N gently massaged his scalp as quiet moans left her mouth. With one final thrust, both Y/N and Shoto reached their climax.
Even though they were both happy to be intimate, they couldn’t hell the tears that left their eyes. Y/N looked at Shoto with a genuine smile on her face before she threw herself at him and hugged him.
Shoto laid down and Y/N was on his chest. He allowed his arms to protectively rest around her waist. After one final kiss, they decided to fall asleep.
Three days later, Y/N didn’t wake up from her slumber, leaving Shoto all alone.
Masterlist
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! <3
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ellipsesarefun · 7 years
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Otayuri Fic Recs #2
References: Summary, Thoughts, * (Complete) Note: This has been sitting in drafts for quite some time and the ones that were WIP are now complete. If you do want an Otayuri Fic Mayhem for the day, or week, or month for your vacation, here’s the second fic rec!
First Fic Rec is HERE.
1. A Heart Beats At Night by  magicalyoyo  >>  Otabek’s heart was pounding a sickening, dizzying rhythm, but he schooled his face into stoicism as he pulled his helmet off to get a better look. “Yuri Plisetsky died two years ago,” he growled. “What the hell are you?” >> ANGST, ANGST, DRAMA, THEN FLUFF. Full of supernatural beings and jargon. I might re-read this again, because I skipped some parts to gush and weep over the Otayuri angst and fluff moments. I missed the other portion of the story, but this is a great read! Several chapters to look forward to.
2. * Anatomical Accuracy by  Fayina (Dayea)  >>  Yuri has a secret talent in drawing, and he'd be damned if Otabek finds out about his shameful collection of the Kazakh's portraits. Oh and his skype call with Mila and Sara is getting out of hand. >> This suits me. Why? Because I’m a sucker for anatomy (and because I’m in a Bio course with a slight art enthusiasm that I would be completely immersed into AU’s such as this one) and because I love College and Roommate AU’s. With Pining, of course. 
3. Break Me Down, Down, Down by  legolifesaver >> Yuri refused to let anyone call his videos “pointless”. He spent too much of his time on them and he wasn’t about to let some asshole question him.orYuri runs a fashion channel, Otabek makes covers, and they both meet in the middle. >> A Youtube AU. This AU’s rare for this pairing, but i’m not sure.. I’ll probably scavenge for more if I missed any. Three chapters in and my brains already spewing daydreams all over the place for this couple!!
4. More Than He Bargained For by  FollowYourDreams  >> Yuri made one mistake. One. But, since it resulted in police bringing him home, his parents put their foot down. Now, he's being sent away for the summer to learn his place. He'll be staying with the Altin family and learning from their son, Otabek.Aka, the one where Yuri is a rebellious shit and ends up spending the summer with Otabek and falling in love and shit. >> First heavy fic I’ve read for this pairing. There is a ton of dense and tear-drenched backstory for Yuri and he needs all the XOXO’s he can get and that’s from Beka himself. My heart kept tearing itself in pieces for my smol little son. Also, I adore a literature enthusiast Beka. Brilliant mentions for Jane Austen and Ernest Hemmingway (if you do want some classics, you could dive in to Ernest Hemmingway’s stories; maybe even a John Steinbeck?).
5. On the Cusp of Dawn by  LoveActually_rps  >> Otabek bowed to the new Prince and offered the flower crown that his sister, Sabrina, had made and a basket full of fresh cherries which he'd collected from their small farm on the cusp of dawn. Carefully, he set them down on the overflowing heap of gifts. The Prince, who’d just turned six, frowned at the basket for a long moment before raising his hand and shoving a fistful in his mouth. Otabek blinked at him, totally taken aback. “Mmm-hum… ” the Prince hummed, closing his eyes, as he chomped on the bites of the plump fruits in his mouth. He opened his eyes, fixing his crystal green glare on Otabek. “Bring me more tomorrow,” he ordered, taking a few more from the basket. “Y-yes, your highness,” Otabek stuttered, bowing again before he was shoved away by a royal guard to clear the area. He hadn’t missed the way the Prince had shot a burning look at the guard. [Aka, AU where Yuri is a Prince and ranked highest among Omegas, whose life has revolved around his childhood friend, Otabek, who holds the lowest rank among Alphas. Their worlds suddenly comes shattering down after a loss they both isn’t prepared for] >> What got me into this fic is the fresh concept of omegaverse. There’s a level of Alphas, Omegas and Betas, with a hierarchy that (idk if there’s a proper wording for this but I’m just word vomitting) dictates how people treat other people and it’s apparent here and it seems to relate in the society we’ve been living in for a while now. I like this concept, and it just sparks a rich dynamic between Otabek and Yuri. Otabek’s determination is also pleasing to read. Here you have an Alpha of the lowest rank who’s trained for years and it’s finally paying (which is fucking awesome). I’m excited for more chapters to come!
6. * I’ll take in stride, the consequences of falling by  harajukucrepes  >> He wanted to ask to be touched, because in times like this intimacy would break him, and if he was broken enough, Otabek would finally see that he wasn’t ok. Stop having faith in me, stop idealising me, I’m not perfect.But Otabek would kiss him like he was the most wondrous thing to have happened to him, the most treasured, most beloved, and if there was one thing that would make him feel the worst he could humanly be is to be loved like that, because he would only want to lock this feeling, hide Otabek away and crush him underfoot if he could.He would bury his thoughts, destroy his voice, vanquish his own colours. >> Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful MASTERPIECE. At least for me, it is. It’s just an awe-inspiring work of art! It’s familiar that it almost felt like a Haruki Murakami tale and I don’t see words, I see feelings, music, anything that explores the relationship of these two people. I just love how this author blends all timelines together without disrupting the mood of the story (I think that’s what you call it, I’m not sure). I LOVE THIS PIECE and I love it so bad. This deserves more than one kudos from me!
7. Fly by  foreverhalo  >>  Otabek Altin, CEO of Altin's Aviation Academy has a secret business not many know about. He meets Yuri Plisetsky and offers him a chance to become a pilot, a long awaited dream ready to be fulfilled. With no questions asked, Yuri accepts but he doesn't know what awaits him beyond a simple act of kindness. Then again, Otabek wasn't expecting for Yuri to open a side of him he wasn't aware of. >> This deserves more attention. This fic is AWESOME. It’s a shady business in the guise of an aviation academy that features a darker, much more sinister (maybe? but the author seems to be leaning towards it, idk) Otabek. I haven’t really explored fics with a Dark!Otabek but this is a start. Maybe it’s a mild Dark!Beka for now, but it’s only been a few chapters and I love it. I love the story plot and how Yuri is dragged into this mess. I’m predicting it’s gonna be a bumpy ride for these two idiots. 
8. * They're All Long Gone (It's Only You and Me) by  JennaFlare  >>  Five years after the show, Otabek visits Yuri in Russia and dredges up what Yuri thought was long-dead history. >> Unrequited love dugged up into something reciprocated after a few years of friendship. My kind of tale, actually. This was an indirect inspiration to my fic ‘now i gotta wash my hands out with soap’ and ‘Reunions’.Maybe because of the events that occurred in my life or maybe because it’s absolutely relatable topic on a daily basis, I love this fic.
9. * Of Monsters and Men by  RoseAnthem  >> Ever since the day dark, mysterious, and endearing Otabek Altin told Yuri Plisetsky that he had the eyes of a soldier, Yuri hasn't been able to stop thinking about him, the boy who saw him as something other than a beautiful, delicate fairy. Now three years later, Otabek has moved to Russia to live with Mila, his new fiancee and Yuri's skating accomplice, and train under their coach Yakov.Yuri knows that his skating career is more important, but he can't seem to ignore the tightness in his chest when he sees Otabek and Mila kiss or the tug at his heart when Otabek smiles sweetly at him. He knows that he isn't in love, so why does he feel this way? Yuri decides to bury his foreign emotions as he always does and focus on what makes him happy, but as they grow closer, he cannot ignore the pain in his heart; and neither can Otabek.This is a story about the tough choices of love and the sacrifices you have to make to be happy. The story about two boys who don't know their fate, because their futures are standing in the way. This is a story about love and life. >> OtaMila is my NOTP. Friends are... fine, but essentially, I don’t really like otamila (sorry). But I love this story. So much drama! So much self-hate! So much self-deprecation! DAMN this is a monstrous fic! My waterworks filled a dam in my heart. This is so BEAUTIFUL YOU HAVE TO READ THIS FIC. If you want to of course and if you want drama, angst, and all that with a tinge of happy ending, this is your fic. 
10. * Frayed String by  Errolina  >>  Nikolai Plisetsky always told his grandson that he was the one that got to make his fate and not a string. Yuri always hated the fact that he was always reminded that he didn't have a soulmate. Otabek always did want to defy what was left of his string and make his own fate. >> Now this fic takes a bumpy turn on the concept of Red Strings of Fate Soulmates. It’s a fresh concept, one that I adore very much and love how it’s used in this three-shot. Go check this out if you’re up for some tears and fluff in the end. But there’s some angst too. 
(For some reason, most of the fics involve pining, angst with happy endings, and more pining)
11. * Talk Flower To Me by  ABoyWorthFightingFor  >> "Can I help you?" A voice asked, shocking him back into reality. Yuri gave a small jump at the sudden words, cursing under his breath for being startled."Otabek Altin?" He asked. The bassoonist gave a nod, but didn't offer anymore words, so he spoke on. "I'm Yuri. You're accompanying me, or whatever.""I know who you are," he spoke, starting to disassemble his instrument. "You're in my math class." Oh. So that's where the name's familiar. The black haired teen looked amused. "You didn't know? You sit right in front of me. Every single day." The Russian only scoffed with a roll of his eyes to try and hide his embarrassment. >> In my own Filipino language, “Nakakakilig ‘to”. It’s so giddy and it’s full of fluff everywhere! This is a unique way to spice up the use of flower language. Happy endings coming your way! Read this if you’re having a bad day or nothing seems to get right. This cheers me up!
12. Watch Out for This by  dovesnroses  >> “It could have been your guardian angel, ya know?” Georgi observes as he’s testing the soda dispensers the next night. Yuri reaches over the bar and takes an olive.“No such thing as guardian angels in this part of the city,” he retorts stuffing the olive in his mouth. Georgi gives him an amused look.“Well if they’d been planning on raping and or murdering you, they would have done it. ”Or: Otabek DJs at the club Yuri works at, and everything goes from there. >> Awesome piece of work! I’m loving the dynamics of not just Otayuri but other people as well. I can’t really predict what’s gonna happen in this fanfic, because recently there was some angst, and while that angst was resolved, I’m not entirely sure it’s gonna stay that way.. After all it’s still a WIP, so I’ve got a feeling there’s more! After all, what’s a happy ending if there’s no angst? HAHA kidding kidding.. But I love this fic. I re-read the sentences over and over again until the plot’s in my memory cabinet. Go check this fic out!
13. crystallofolia by  RennieOnIceCream (Hitsugi_Zirkus)  >> Yuri stared at the flower, utterly paralyzed, ignoring Viktor’s scandalized, “Oh my!”“What the fuck is this?” My eyes aren’t beautiful .Without wavering, Otabek continued to hold the flower out. “I call it a tulip. As well as an offer of friendship.”AU in which Viktor is a florist looking to start a family, Otabek is a flower vendor dreaming of home, and Yuri is an orphan wrapped in seven layers of teen angst that he can only get out by screaming profanities and shoving flowers in people's faces. >> What other way to spice up the language of flowers than to put a gallon of angst, backstory, and more angst. It’s like embedding the scientific name of a parade craniates in a fanfic that has an involvement with the feelings, the plot.. everything! If you want a dose of new flowers per paragraph and chapter, this is the fic you’re looking for.
14. * Reaching out for Silver Linings by  Muspell  >> There’s a whole life he didn’t know. A whole person he didn’t know. A whole person Yuri considered his best friend. But who the fuck is he? Is anything Yuri thinks he knows actually true? Who the fuck is Otabek Altin, after all? Has he ever even known who his best friend was?------------------------------------------- Warnings are there for a reason, please have that in mind.Second part of the KazGang series, sequel to To Judge a Book by its Cover. >> Angst... So. Much. Angst. So much misunderstandings... I’ve been treading lightly when this fic first came out because I knew how I can’t get over an angsty fic easily, so I waited till the angst wavered for a bit before reading it. And it was mind blowing. Still mind blowing. I’m planning to read this again because I like how Otabek’s dark history was portrayed here. So mysterious... 
15. * A Stiller Doom by  Tessa on Ice (tessacrowley)  >>  “It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions ... ferment in the masses of life which people earth.” Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre >> I saved the best for last. It revolves around the OmegaVerse, the major differences on how people treat alphas, omegas and betas and how it influences Yuri as a omega skater amongst the crowd of alpha dominant field of skaters. What I do love this if most is how the politics blends in chapter by chapter. It’s rare that I read such and I love how the socio-political aspect was dealt with in this fanfic. This is a great read, and if you are into stuff like this, you could try this out! 
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fmlfpl · 7 years
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Lineup Lamentations - GW29
Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.
The latest ever lineup lambs in the history of lambs. Alon here, and it’s 2:15 AM while I’m beginning to piece this together. Sorry to all who didn’t get to see this in time, but hey better late then never. Was a weird / busy day for me so couldn’t get it going in the morning, alas, here we are. Enjoy.
WALSH
Transfers:
OUT: Fuckface#1 and Fuckface#2.......aka Brunt and Baines
IN (For -4 Points): Tony V and Hector the Bell
After about one million thoughts of other things to do I decided to go with what I shouted on the pod and hit for Valencia and Bellerin. I decided that removing two pieces of actual dead weight shit felt most important even though I spent time looking at Coutinho's spot long and hard. I decided to sort my defense out in one swoop so I can turn my full attention further up the pitch on attack in weeks to come. I flirted with getting a Spud defender instead, but in the end wanted to get this pair and go with a little bit of a differential with Bell. Not the "smart" or "safe" move but fuck it. I want to get players I like. The extra double gameweek for each of them certainly was a factor as well. Hopefully I get the hit back and end up neutral on it from them straight away.
GK: TOM you fucking piece of shit. No points since GW23 and he's up against my beloved Defoe. I don't even know what I want anymore.
DEF: New lads (Valencia + Bellerin) come in and join Marcos A. Feeling great about the defense for the first time in a really long time. Not getting 0-1 point out of Baines and Brunt moving forward will be great. Hoping for a trio of cleans out of this lot and I think it is very doable. Maybe a cheeky attacking return too? Hopefully Boro don't get new manager bounce and United aren't tired after Europe. West Brom and Stoke are on the beach so they feel like good clean shouts...kill for some points out of defense. 
MID: Double Pool mid remains in tact with Mane and Phil. Phil is almost certainly playing in his farewell game for my squadron as I feel like he needs to turn into Alexis pretty soon / before the next game. Hopefully they put in a good performance against City as they normally do. Sigmund most steady and solid love of my life is going nowhere until I WC probably. Finally Barkers ledge stays for Hull. Hopefully he backs up his double assist game with more puntos.
FWD: Bookaku old reliable goes with Defoe and Kun. If I don't get any Defoe points this weekend I don't know what life is anymore. Kun idk he keeps getting chances but keeps fucking them all up. Hopefully he runs through the sieve that is Liverpool defense who haven't kept a clean in like 3 months and destroys. 
CAP: Lukaku. Not much thought here..gonna go with him in another home banker. Hull have been playing better but they still aren't keeping cleans on the road. Without owning Alexis I don't see another option even close. Hopefully he bangs in a double return again.
ALON
Transfers:
OUT: KDB
IN: Alexis
I kept it pretty passive and reserved this week with just one free transfer instead of the shit I was talking about on the pod -8 or above... Don’t get me wrong my team is awful and there are a ton of guys that I would remove instantly if say I popped my wildcard but I decided not to WC and also not to freak out. I remembered that my GW27+28 was a net rise of ~30k places and while guys like Baines, I hope dies, he’s still home Hull and supposedly fit so why am I gonna be dumb and take a -4 there for example. Snodgrass also seems fit and while he’s terrible, the guys that I was flirting with bringing in either had bad fixtures or were too expensive to fuck up my future prospects. Just doing one move and not taking a hit feels kind of like a differential so I’m happy to stay calm and tit myself for GW29 and then go into the international break with a more clear idea of how drastically I want my team to change in the coming weeks and if maybe I do need to pop WC before GW36 (where we’re both projecting using it at this point).
Alexis I still consider the best player in FPL and I’m overjoyed to own him in this moment with this fixture. Arsenal have had their annual European facial at the hands of a superpower and now will go back to thrashing shitty ass teams and fighting for fourth place. I’m ready for the ride.
GK: Young Pickford goes for me I love this little shit. Home Burnley is terrific (though I have Barnes, and they have been scoring) at worst he’ll rack up some saves and probably be between 3-7 points which is a nice thing to expect.
DEF: I’m sort of embarrassed to even put my defenders on paper in this moment because ew they’re legitimately disgusting. Alonso I’m sure is putting in a transfer request away from my horrible squad because he’s so many classes above but hey he’s under contract whatever fuck you. Baines goes for me again YAY!!!! And lastly I’m fucking the world and starting Matip AWAY AT MANCHESTER CITY (why am I doing this) because honestly starting Robertson away at Everton or Fed Fernandez away at Bournemouth feels worse. It just does I can’t really explain it so I will not try to. Matip is gonna get me a goal in a Liverpool ass fuck job on City so whatever ;) ;) ;)...
MID: New boy Alexis definitely feels nice. An old friend when times were better and simpler for me and my squadron. Welcome back mate. Raz Sterling kept his place in my side through blank fuckfest and while the fixtures are awful (I also have Kun) they’re still the top attacking side in the league easily (Liverpool a close second I guess) and can put 3+ up against anyone. Or they can just blank against Stoke like fucking losers. Can’t wait to find out. Mane keeps his place and naturally will go off away at a top side because Liverpool are fucked up like that. And lastly I have Snoddy in there. Apparently he’s fit so what do I know he’ll probably be benched and play 30′ or something terrible and just be a joke but ya never know. I wanted a Soton guy or maybe Pedro but as I said above in the transfers section it either fucked up my team structure because of funds (Pedro) or felt stupid to take a hit for because of fixture (Southampton away at Spurs so a likely blank).
FWD: Aforementioned legend Kun still an explosive festival of fuck I still love him. And honestly at this point Yaya is losing a biiiiiiit of his nailedness so maybe Kun will find himself back on pens at some point as they make their late season push.... TBD! Also aforementioned is Smashley Barnes who has very quietly done a bit of a job for me and goes against the by far worst team in the league Sundy so if there’s ever a week in his fucking life to get me some surprise double return or something maybe it’s this week... And lastly Big Rom. We all have him. He’s just the steady reliable fuck that we’ve always wanted him to be. That is just a reality now so yep, go on.
CAP: As I said on the pod, Alexis. Don’t know if he’ll start up top or out wide but either way against actual giant pieces of turd West Brom he imght be the best captaincy option. And even if he starts out wide we’ve seen it happen so many times this year Giroud gets subbed, Alexi goes up top, and sticks it in. Because he’s boss. A little bit of a differential cap from me, maybe I can sneak a green arrow... please?
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