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utterlyotterlyx · 2 months

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Constellations

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Summary - Azriel can't allow himself to stand on the side lines anymore and watch as yet another male tries to take you away from him.

Warnings - oblivious reader and Az, angst, pining, Az and Nes being cuties, smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), lots of fluff, flirting

There were constellations in your eyes.

That was what everyone had said when they'd first met you, alluding to the clear fact that you were a deep daydreamer whenever you sprang to topic, which was more often than you'd think.

Prythian bowed to you, everyone in every nook and cranny in any court knew who you were. A shining star in a court of nightmares.

Every one of the High Lords held a special affection toward you, often asking you to leave Rhysand and the inner circle and join them instead. Helion had made a point of his fondness by making a comment about how other-worldly you looked in Day Court gold, and then later on teasing Rhys about how he would one day succeed in his desire.

Everyone could beg and plead for you as much as they wished, but none of their affection could rival how Azriel felt about you.

Azriel was your shadow. Wherever you went meant that the Shadowsinger stalked not too far behind. He would sit with you and hum whilst you ran your fingers through his hair, each touch sending lightening soaring through his soul. He would walk around Velaris with you endlessly if it meant that he could see that almost childlike wonder in your eyes when you looked at the same restaurant or bookshop that had surely seen a thousand times before. He would soothe away your nightmares, allowing his shadows to pepper your skin in sweet pecks as he held you, and he would let you get close enough to soothe him when his own demons plagued him.

That's why, when he stood to the side of the room with a whisky in hand, did he want to tear apart the male who dared to speak to you. Helion was no regular male. But, as you giggled at one of his flirtatious jokes and rested your hand on his chest, Azriel became sure that he could make him scream like one.

Helion was visiting from the Day Court and it was the last night of his stint, so Rhys had suggested that you all go to Rita's, to relax from the toll of the week. The High Lord in question needed access to a couple of special tomes in one of Velaris' archives, you and Rhys had agreed that the tomes were too valuable to allow outside of the city, so Helion had to come to you. Like all he wanted was another excuse to be around you.

Azriel couldn't blame Helion for it.

Azriel believed that you were the most precious thing on the planet. 500 years of friendship and you stunned him more and more each day with your anecdotes and the innocent chatter that always filled the room.

"He's really trying this again?" Nesta asked, appearing beside him at the railing, wanting to take a moment away from the family madness before Cassian dragged her to dance for the fifth time that night.

"Can you blame him?"

The top three buttons of his shirt were left untethered, exposing that rock hard muscle beneath that was ink kissed and shimmering. Azriel couldn't stop looking at you, you were wearing that dress that you loved so much, sheer white and glittered in fine crystals, a low scooped back that fell perfectly on your figure. It was the only thing that could truly take his breath away.

"When are you going to tell her that you love her?" Nesta gazed at you, she'd never admit it but you were definitely her favourite, she held a special spot for you in her heart, just how everyone did really. "You need to tell her," she turned to him and he peered down on her with a sincerity she'd never seen, "She's incredible, Az. She's not the kind of girl you let get away. Go and love her before someone else does."

"She deserves better than me, Nes," his sad gaze lifted to you, you were starlight and he was shadow, you were pure and he was horribly tainted, and he couldn't have his darkness snuffing out your light.

Nesta gently pulled his sight from the dancefloor, making him focus on her by keeping her palm grazing against his cheek, "You're not a very good spymaster if you can't see how she looks at you."

Azriel didn't know what to say, he just knew that he had to get to you. He rounded Nesta and descended onto the dancefloor, barging past the grinding bodies with you in his sight, sipping your drink and smiling brightly at Helion who was stood far too close to you. You always felt Azriel looming, his shadows curling around your ankles always being a tell-tale sign that he was close.

Your eyes followed the trails of his shadows until you found their owner, your brows furrowed at the urgency he wore whilst he kept glancing at Helion with a tight jaw. It was unsettling.

"I need to speak to you," he pleaded, taking a step closer to you and you had no choice but to look up at him, to let those rippling pools of hazel drown you.

"Az, is every-"

"Please," he cut you off, reaching for you but not quite touching, like he was waiting for your agreement so that he could whisk you away.

You had never seen Azriel look so pained, so pleading and desperate. Without a word to Helion, you nodded and Azriel's fingers slid around your wrists, pulling you into a whirl of colour until you stood on a floor that you recognised and Rita's faded away.

The cabin was warm, everything was in place and tidy, that scent burning wood and orange that clung to the cabin flooded your lungs and made you shiver with delight. You had always loved the place, how perfectly small it was for a lone escape, where you could watch the snow fall from the bay window with a hot chocolate in hand and blanket wrapped tightly around your legs.

It took you a moment to centre yourself, and when you turned, you saw Azriel stood there, head hung low and wings drooped but relishing in the comfortable warmth of where you both were, "What's wrong, Az?"

The only light illuminating the cabin was from the fire, that crackling beast that sent gold and orange light roaring across the space, it welcomed in the faint glow of the moon that spilled onto the floor like an old friend.

"You can't go with Helion," he told you, well, more blurted at you.

"Go with Helion?" You asked and he nodded, anger bubbled in your chest, "Why would I ever do that?"

"He's wanted to take you from us for so long," 200 years to be exact, "Who could blame him, you're the most incredible thing that Prythian has ever made. I thank the Mother every day for you."

"What?"

"Please let me finish," he hated cutting you off, he hated being the reason that you were silenced, "If you speak now, I'll never be able to say what I have to say, what I need to say."

Azriel watched your face soften, the anger that threatened to boil over now evaporated, he watched you move to the sofa and sit down, patting the empty space beside you. He didn't know how you did it, how you could make someone feel so comfortable and heard, he thought about it as he took the seat beside you and heaved in a deep breath, curling one of his wings around you as if he was scared that you'd bolt.

"I love you, Y/N. I love your kindness, how you've never been scared of me. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you're talking about something you're passionate about. I love how you scrunch your nose when you're deep in thought. I love the way you bolt through the streets of Velaris before solstice to make sure everyone is as spoilt as possible. I love you, Y/N. I love everything that you are and everything that we can be, I can't lose you, I don't know who or what I'd be without you."

"There is no one who knows you like I do. I know that you sneak an extra spoonful of sugar into your hot chocolate before Nesta can catch you and tell you off," you smiled softly, "I know that you secretly hate shopping with Mor but would much rather suffer than tell her and take some of her spark away. I know that you can never tell Cassian that Nesta is your favourite unless you wanted to see him sulk for weeks," a soft laugh flew from your lips, "I know you're the reason that Rhys, Cass and I turned out so well, you're the only person we couldn't bear to disappoint."

Not once did you stop looking at him as he spoke. He loved you. Azriel really loved you.

"You love me?" Azriel nodded gently, "But, what about Elain? I thought..."

"Me and Elain?" Azriel's eyes were frantic, "No, Y/N. Gods no. You're the only one I've ever wanted, I tried to love someone else, I tried to love Mor, and maybe on some level I tried to find that with Elain. But no one could ever compare to you, anyone who isn't you aren't worth it."

Silence filled the air, that warm, golden hued air. Azriel was trying to read your mind, to figure out what you were thinking when you started laughing, tears pooled at your bottom lids and one blink sent them flowing down your cheeks. Azriel shuffled closer to you, taking his thumb and wiping away your tears before they dripped from your chin.

"We're so stupid, Az," you sniffled, letting him cradle your face in his hands and continue to wipe away any tears that fell from your eyes, "How could we be so blind?"

"What do you mean?"

Tilting your head to the side, your eyes sparkled, just how they did when you looked at or spoke about something you loved, then you felt it, that tension that had always tugged at your soul snapping into place, clouds of grey became clear sunny skies, and a golden thread soared across it and thrummed with yearning delight.

"I mean," you tugged on that thread, you watched his eyes widen and fill with disbelief, "That I love you too. So much."

"You're my mate," he confessed in a whisper, the bond sprouting into full bloom around you, like you could both see the tendrils of thread sewing your souls together.

Azriel's breath fanned across your face, hot and laced with the scent of whisky, the tip of his nose ran down the slope of your own, and you felt his lips lie millimetres away from yours, you watched his eyes search your soul before flickering downward to the place he craved to touch. Anticipation pulled at your chest and swelled in your stomach, and every bit of doubt vanished when he closed the gap and pressed his lips to yours.

It was like everything fell into place, like the world only began to make sense in that moment. Azriel's lips moved against yours hungrily, the sweep of his tongue into your mouth once you had granted him permission to taste you was enough to make your knees go weak. Heat pooled between your legs and you scrambled to be on top of him, the hem of your dress hitched around your thighs as you rested into his lap.

"Please, Az," you breathed between starving kisses, "I need you."

Azriel's hands moved from the back of your neck and the small of your back, reaching around to grip underneath your thighs, so dangerously close to where you needed him to be. He lifted you, not once breaking the connection of your lips, locking your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bedroom.

"I'm not making you mine on a couch," he lay you on the bed and climbed on top of you, running his fingers down the sides of your thighs, making your back arch as he peppered kisses down your neck, sucking and nibbling on the skin he found there.

You squirmed beneath him, itching to rip his clothes off and allow him to take every part of you, "Please," you whined into his hair, his hand palming your breasts and lips attached to your earlobe, making soft moans fall through your stumbling mouth.

"Tell me what you want," his voice was so deep that it made goosebumps rise across your skin, it was sultry and dark, it matched the shade of his eyes when he pulled away to look down on you with swollen lips and tousled hair. "I'll give you everything."

"I want you."

It was all he needed to hear in order to tear your dress in two and take your hardened nipples in his mouth, sucking and biting on them gently, swirling his tongue around the sensitive nubs of nerves that had you gasping and eyes rolling to the back of your head. You felt like your body was on fire as he kept moving downward, littering kisses down your stomach before resting between your thighs.

The cold air against your core made you gasp again, he ran a finger down your soaked folds and moaned, "You're so wet for me," his voice vibrated against the inside of your thighs, "So perfect," he mumbled before his tongue dragged a line up you, and then again, and again until you were a blubbering mess fisting your fingers through his hair.

Azriel flicked his tongue against that familiar bundle of nerves, curling his tongue around it and sucking on it gently so that he didn't overstimulate you. Stars crept in to the sides of your vision, that hot white heat building in the pit of your stomach, "Don't stop," they were barely coherent words but he heard you and kept his pace, teasing a finger around your entrance before slowly pushing it in an curling it upward.

It sent you toppling off the edge. That white heat burst from you, loud cries of his name flew from your lips and your hands gripped his wrists, stars poured into your eyes and Azriel pushed you through your high.

Too lost in the mind shattering orgasm he had just given you, you didn't feel his hands ran up your back and lock around the back of your neck, you didn't realise that your torso and head were propped up in his arms or see his wings flex above you, "Angel," he cooed, he clenched his hands into your hair and pressed his lips along your jaw, "Let me take care of you."

Azriel was bare before you, his length solid and resting against your thigh, "Make me yours, Az."

Azriel growled, his eyes darkened with possession, "Tell me if it's too much and we can stop," you nodded breathlessly and he kissed you again, harder this time as he pushed himself inside of you, your walls still quivering and pulsating around him.

Once he was pushed to the hilt inside of you, he groaned, it was deep and guttural, the most incredible sound you'd ever heard. Azriel gave you a moment, and you tapped his shoulder lightly to get him to move, you were needing him to move, it was getting too much. Your soul was burning with desire and you needed him to satisfy it before it completely ignited you.

Your mate thrusted into you, the roll of his hips reaching angles you didn't know existed, he took your nipple in his mouth again, growling as his pace quickened and the sound of slapping flesh and declarations of love filled the air.

"You're so beautiful, Angel," his lips found yours again and his movements became sloppy, "I'm so close," he felt your warmth tighten around him, ready to milk his cock as high pitched mewls exploded from your lips, "There she is, my perfect mate."

Azriel's fingers wound in your hair, pressing your forehead to his as he slammed into you, riding you both through those searing hot highs and continuing the long strokes as you both fell down, "I'm yours, Az. I'm all yours."

Authors Note

😌

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shadowdaddies · 24 days

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Freedom

Helion x Reader fluff

A/N: this is a self-indulgent one-shot; I've been daydreaming about riding a pegasus through the Day Court for awhile

Dried hay crunched underneath your boots, the smell of Helion’s barn - if you could even refer to the palatial home for his pegasi as such - wafting fresh apples and grass through your nose.

Stepping aside as he held the door open for you, you smiled up at the High Lord, blushing under his charming gaze. Following behind you, Helion placed a large hand to the small of your back, guiding you past stalls of pegasi until you reached the end of the walkway.

Stopping in front of a large white mare, you gasped at the beautiful creature, her stark coloring almost iridescent in the daylight. “She is yours,” Helion murmured in your ear, nipping the skin there as his strong arms wrapped around your waist.

“Mine?” you whispered, breathless as you turned to Helion with wide eyes. Full lips spread into a bright smile that sent your heart aflutter, the High Lord nodding in confirmation.

A gleeful laugh escaped your lips, hands sliding up Helion’s muscular frame to pull his lips to yours. Pulling back slightly, you let his forehead rest against your own. In a poor attempt to contain your excitement, you whispered, “can we go for a ride?”

“Of course, Sunshine.”

Letting out a squeal of excitement, you stepped aside to let Helion open the gate, following him into the stall where you greeted the beautiful creature. Reaching out a tentative hand, a surprised laugh escaped you at the eagerness with which the creature nuzzled into your touch.

“She already likes you,” Helion noted with a proud smile, moving around to the animal’s side to secure her saddle.

As you ou ran your hands along her neck and mane, you allowed her to nudge you closer into an embrace, her feathered wings relaxing behind her.

“We’re ready to go,” Helion announced from where he stood in front of you, bringing you out of the moment with your pegasus. With a last pat on her shoulder, you released the mare and walked toward Helion.

With a gracious smile, the High Lord knelt into the hay, hands knitted together in front of him in a make-shift stepping stool. “Allow me to help you up,” he purred, making you blush furiously as you took a tentative step into his hand, swinging your other leg over the horse as he lifted you.

With seemingly no effort, Helion slid into the saddle behind you. “Are you ready?” he asked, hands winding around your waist to grip the pommel.

You looked down at the pegasus, noting the lack of reins. As if reading your thoughts Helion patted the mare’s neck, urging her forward. “She doesn’t need me to tell her where to go. There’s a spot I want to show you, that she takes me to.”

You nodded, smiling through the nerves and excitement as you trotted out of the barn and into the green pasture.

“Let’s go, girl,” Helion murmured, tapping the creature’s hide affectionately. Without warning, the pegasus started running with impressive speed, and you looked up to see you were headed straight for the cliff’s edge.

“Helion,” you muttered, voice trembling as you gripped his arms for any sense of security. You were nearing the sharp drop off that led into the ocean, heart pounding harder than the beast’s hooves against the dirt. “Helion!”

“You are safe with me,” he promised, his warm body enveloping yours as the pegasus dove off the edge of the earth and towards the sea below. Your stomach dropped, a small scream escaping your lips before white wings spread out beneath you, catching the air as you shifted into a glide just above the shimmering surface of the water.

Wind whipped around you, the cool breeze at odds with the warm sun on your skin. It was a feeling unlike anything you’d experienced before, a freedom of losing your tether to the earth.

You relaxed into Helion’s hold, enjoying how the magnificent creature wove through the skies with ease. She carried you along the cliffs, your reflection bright in the sparkling sea when you approached an inlet. The pegasus shifted, wings tilting to guide you around the corner to reveal a grand waterfall pouring into a small lake.

Large oak trees surrounded the oasis, multi-colored wildflowers blossoming everywhere you turned. You were so distracted by the beauty of it all, you hadn’t recognized the stupor you were in until the pegasus’s landing drew you out of it.

Helion slid off her back, hands finding purchase on your waist as he helped you down. Words escaped you at the serene setting before you, like something from a masterpiece painting as the pegasus approached the water for a drink.

“This... This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” you admitted, awestruck.

“This was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, before I met you,” Helion murmured, stepping around to take your hand, amber eyes focused on you as he pressed his lips to your skin.

He led you to the water’s edge, where each of you slipped off your shoes in favor of dipping your toes into the cool lake. You watched the pegasus as it rested by the waterfall, like something from a dream.

“What is her name?” you asked, nodding at the beautiful animal.

“Her name is Alzena. But I thought you could change it to whatever you please.”

You hummed, recognizing the name. “Alzena. Freedom.” Helion dipped his head, smiling with pride at your acknowledgment. “It’s perfect,” you smiled, thinking not only of the name, but everything about this moment.

Helion’s eyes glowed gold in the sunlight, his breathtaking beauty perfectly at home with this magical land. Flashing him a mischievous grin, you crawled into the High Lord’s lap, straddling his hips as your lips hovered over his own. “Care to go for a swim, my Lord?”

#acotar #acotar x reader #acotar fanfiction #acotar imagine #helion acotar #helion x reader #acotar fluff #helion x you #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fanfic #acotar reader fic #helion spell cleaver #high lord helion #acotar reader imagine #acotar fic #helion x reader fluff #acotar helion x reader #acotar helion

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hellodarling1357 · 2 months

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The 1 (Part 1) - Cassian x Reader

and if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you...

137 years, 6 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days.

That was how long you had lived in your safe and happy bubble of delusion. It was just a shame it wasn’t meant to last.

~~~~~

Hi! So this fic is going to very loosly inspired by a bunch of Taylor Swift songs that were recently requested. Just a heads up that there's no guarantee of a happy ending...

Enjoy 🥰

Word Count: 1.5k

Having met the Night Court General at a meeting between the courts, you immediately found yourself intrigued. His presence had been rough and demanding, lethal and sharp, and as he stood beside the Shadowsinger, both sets of hazel eyes surveying the congregated fae from their positions behind their High Lord, you couldn’t help your own assessment of the Illyrian before you.

Your initial attraction came from his appearance; tanned skin, powerful muscles, and the most gorgeous set of eyes you had ever seen – you were very easy to please. But it had been within the hour following the meeting’s conclusion where you found yourself wanting, needing, to find out more.

Walking along the spanning corridors of the Dawn Court's palace, you had been so mesmerised by the view that lay beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows that you didn’t sense someone approaching until you had turned the corner and bumped straight into them. The mass of a body before you would've sent you near toppling to the floor if it hadn't been for the sudden grasp of large, calloused hands on your shoulders that hauled you back up and lingered until you were stable on your feet again.

“I’m so sorry,” Your face was burning in embarrassment, the colour only darkening as you took in the sight of the male before you. “I clearly wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m not the one who almost landed on my ass. Are you alright?” The furrow of his brows and the way his eyes looked you up and down in concern has you shifting on the spot.

“I’m fine…” You let your words trail, not knowing what else to say with your mind seemingly going blank in the General’s presence. Hazel eyes scrutinized your face, as though searching for a hint that you were anything but fine.

Allowing another moment of silence, you awkwardly cleared your throat as you shifted again.

“Well, I should probably go–”

“I’m Cassian, by the way. I don’t think we’ve met?”

A shy laugh escaped you as you smiled up at Cassian who was giving you an amused look, having both spoken at the same time.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi, Cassian.”

You were both coyly grinning now, shaking your head with a giggle at the absurdness in which the conversation had veered.

Another beat of silence had you repeating, “I should go,” before offering Cassian another small smile and sidestepping past him into the continuous stretch of corridor, lit up in hues of orange and red from the slowly setting sun.

“Wait,” You turned on the spot, hoping it didn’t come off as too eager. “What court are you from?”

“Day. You’re from the Night Court.”

“I am,” he sounded almost smug in his response, “You seem to know an awful lot about me for someone I’ve never met.”

“Hardly,” you laughed. “It’s not every day that a new High Lord comes in and immediately dismisses the entirety of the previous council, only to have it reinstated with Illyrians, and females, no less. Your High Lord created quite a stir.” You noted the clench of his jaw at your words, watching as he cocked his head at you, eyes somewhat narrowing in predatorial assessment.

“Is that an issue for you?” His voice was suddenly hard and sharp, the voice of the General, arms crossing over his broad chest as his eyes continued to sweep your face, “Sharing status with Illyrians, that is?”

“No,” You replied, immediately relaxing as you watched Cassian’s body release its tension. “Too many high fae in a room can get awfully stuffy, having you lot waltz in made today’s meeting quite refreshing.”

“Oh.”

“We’re not all as prejudice as some, General.” You give him another smile before continuing down the corridor.

“I’ll see you around then?”

“I’m sure you will.” You called over your shoulder, giddily grinning to yourself for being able to stay so calm and collected in the presence of such a god-like male.

The way that Cassian could switch from General of the Night Court armies, Lord of Bloodshed himself, to a flirty, caring, almost boyish, male definitely lit the flame of intrigue. But you knew there was more under the surface to what he presented in court and decided then and there that you would do anything in your power to find out everything you could about him.

*****

That initial meeting between you and Cassian set in motion the fast formation of a close friendship. While the courts all reset and realigned in the wake of two new High Lords, you found yourself in Cassian’s presence quite frequently as new alliances were formed and strengthened.

“Y/N, thank you for meeting me,” You nodded your head in greeting at your High Lord, offering a smile as you walked towards Helion’s desk and took a seat as you waited for him to continue. “I trust you are well?”

“Very well, thank you.”

“Good, good,” He leant forward on his elbows, resting his chin on his hands as he watched you for another moment.

“That new Illyrian General is something.” He mused, a slight smirk playing at the corner of his mouth as he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“My lord?”

“Y/N, we’ve worked together for long enough now. You know there’s no need for the formalities,” A small smile tugged at your lips, aware of having been previously told to simply call him Helion but still finding the familiarity in the face of a High Lord somewhat jarring.

“Yes,” He continued, observing you with a knowing look. “He's quite attractive too, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I- Uh, I suppose so,” Stumbling over your words, you felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks as that knowing glance continued in its assessment of you.

“Well, putting that aside, I’ve noticed you’ve grown quite close to him, along with the others in Rhysand’s circle,” You nodded, feeling a little caught out, as though you had done something wrong in fraternising with another court. Squirming in your seat, you avoided your High Lord’s gaze.

“Which is why,” he finally continued, putting you out of your misery, “I have decided to promote you to the Day Court’s personal Emissary to the Night Court. Your main focus will be on strengthening our alliance with them, engaging them in such a way that we are seen as their friend, their ally,”

He paused for a moment, letting the words sink in, “With this new change in power, and with such a seemingly progressive High Lord now in charge, I believe that all of Prythian can expect a great deal to come of it, and I would like us to be there alongside Rhysand, helping to structure these changes for the better.”

“Oh,” You were at a loss for words, “I – uh… Are you sure? Thank you, of course. It’s just that, well, surely Aldous would be more qualified? He’s been your Emissary for decades, I’m just one of his assistants.”

“Y/N, firstly, is this a position you would be interested in pursuing?”

“Well, yes, of course. But–” Helion cut you off with a slight raise of his hand, the amusement gleaming in his eyes helped to ease some of your tension and uncertainty.

“Then it’s decided. And – no, if you’re going to imply that you aren’t qualified, rest assured that I have received multiple recommendations. I believe wholeheartedly that you’re perfect for this role,” You grinned sheepishly; the very words of doubt stolen from the tip of your tongue.

“Besides, as we previously discussed, your newfound connection with certain members of the Night Court will be more than beneficial in this role, wouldn’t you say?”

“I suppose so...”

“You accept my offer then?”

“Yes. Yes, of course I do. Thank you.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” The gentle smile your High Lord offers sent all further doubts scurrying away, paving the way for your excitement to settle in. “Given the nature of this role, you will be required to spend copious amounts of time between our two courts. However, after discussing this proposition with Rhysand, he is more than happy to grant you both safe access and accommodation whilst you’re in his care. He has assured me that you will be treated as though you were a member of his own court.”

Despite the time spent with his inner circle, you were yet to officially meet Rhysand. Well aware of the reputation and stories that followed the Night Court and its legacy, you couldn’t lie to yourself and say you weren’t somewhat hesitant at the thought of residing there, especially if all you had heard about the Hewn City were true. However, with the words your own High Lord had just spoken, and given the company Rhysand kept, your wariness eased exponentially.

“When do I start?”

#cassian x reader #cassian acotar #cassian x y/n #rhysand acotar #azriel acotar #helion acotar #cassian fluff #cassian angst #nessian #cassian x nesta #nesta archeron #marley writes

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davinaclaire16 · 5 months

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Wings of Dusk pt. 10

AzrielxReader + HelionxReader

Warnings: abuse. War

I just wanted to thank everyone who's been patient with me. I've had two emergency surgeries and a death in my family so it's taken me second. I appreciate everyone support so much!!

“Cassain! Where is he Rhysand?” You had burst into the camps healing tent. It had been a month since the fight between you and Azriel. A month since you’d been Mated to Helion. Unfortunately for the two of you the wall had fallen the next day and since then there had been battle after battle. You didn’t have time to talk about it or let any one know and right now as you were standing soaked in blood waiting to see if Cassain was ok it was the furthest thing from your mind.

“He’s going to be ok Y/n’ it was then that Rhysand had actually looked at you. Soaked in blood your white leathers had turned crimson red a long time ago. There were bags under your eyes and dried blood in your hair. He didn’t know where the blood stopped and you begun. He knew that you were exhausted. You all were but he had watched you slash your way through half of Hyberns army. Knew that you were pulling more that your fair share of the force on the ground while him and his brothers took to the sky. He had watched you time and time again from the sky jump in front of your men ready to die for every single one of them but here you stood unharmed.

“Y/n you need to rest please” he hoped that you would listen because having you and Feyre out there fighting was too much. He couldn’t afford to loose anyone in his family but he had lost You and Feyre once and couldn’t… wouldn’t do it again. With Feyre he could always feel the bond know in a second if something was wrong. He couldn’t do the same for you at all. He could get Feyre to rest. Could plead with her to fall back and Feyre would always understand respect his worry. With you he couldn’t tell or ask you to do anything. If he told you to pull back you pushed forward. If he said take a break you’d work twice as hard. He didn’t know how to protect you because you wouldn’t let him or anyone.

“I’m fine Rhysand” hearing this Rhys got visibly agitated. His weight shifted from foot to foot. It took real effort on his part not to roll his eyes into the back of his head.

“You are not fine. None of us are fine but you haven’t taken more then 15 mins since the first battle. You need to take a break. I mean seriously y/n when was the last time you slept.?”

Your brother was right you were not fine but to be honest you didn’t know how to be. There was something about war…you couldn’t just sit and do nothing. Couldn’t sleep when you could be training or coming up with battle strategies. You couldn’t do nothing when your family…your men were risking their lives and could be dead any second. This was where everything you’d ever been taught came into play. Where years of insisted perfection paid off. Because anything less then perfection out on that battle field could cost you and somebody else there life. You were prepared to die every time you stepped out of your tent. Ready to give your life for anyone of your soldiers on that field.

“I know your worried about me brother. The same as I’m worried about you. But just as you can’t promise me you will live, I can’t promise you either. However I can keep the promise we made as children.” With that you had told Rhys to update you about Cassain, gave him a hug and exited the tent. You remembered back to that promise Rhys and you had made centuries ago. You remembered that night like it was a week ago.

“Father I think maybe it would be wiser not to involve Rhysand in this war.” You pleaded for your brothers safety to your father. You knew that you were walking a very dangerous line but you had to try. Hell your mother had even requested you to “talk some sense into your father” which of course she didn’t need to do she had asked while you were already on the way to his office. Whenever your family needed something from your father it was always you they would send. Like they knew you were the only one who could be in his presence that he wouldn’t immediately beat. This night was a strangely quiet night at your home.

“Absolutely not Y/n. He is my son he will fight. No matter how insistent you and your mother are.” your father was sitting at his desk he didn't offer you anymore than a glance. You could feel your nerves this kind of defiance was unlike you. Typically your defiance was classier. It could almost go undetected like a faint thread of manipulation hidden under a smile and a logical response. You were calculated in everything that you did...but not that night. That night you had only one rhys life on your mind.

“Of course father, my apologies I just thought that since he’s your next successor then-“ the room was tense, you kept your wings so tightly pressed against your back the pain had started to creep its way up your shoulders.

“Enough Y/N! Your brother will fight and if he can’t survive then it’s due to his own incompetence and failure!” Your fathers word stung. You didn’t know how he could care so much for you and not at all for your brother and sister. It was clear your father didn’t care if Rhys was ready to fight. Or even if he was given a better chance of survival. You could see on your fathers desk that he planned to place Rhysand right on the front lines. It was almost as if your father was trying to get your brother killed.

“At least keep him in the sky with Azriel and Cassian! They fight better together.” the second the words left your mouth you knew it would send him into a rage.

“Y/N you forget your place!” Your fathers voice boomed, He stood from his desk so fast you flinched on instinct. His voice so loud you were sure that it carried down the hall where your family was residing. But you had to continue, it wasn't an option not to make him change his mind. Otherwise your brother would pay the price.

“I’ll fight on the front lines in his place! Just please father.” You spit the words out as fast as you could before your father could throw you out.

“You can’t keep protecting that boy Y/n. One day that protection will cost you your life.”

That day you had left your fathers office with a black eye, a busted lip and a guaranteed death sentence on the front lines. You knew that he would retaliate by your lack of obedience but you couldn’t afford not to fight him. Not when the cost was your brother. For as long as you could remember you always protected your mother, sister, and brother. Had taken lashes, foul words, and their punishment so that they could have some sense of peace. Kept the true price for their safety as secret as you could. Glamoured the marks. Put on the mask of confidence and indifference.

Later that day your brother had come running into your room

“Y/N! I just talked to father and got my assignment and placement in the war effort. Get this he’s keeping me in the sky.. same fleet as Azriel and Cassian! I can’t believe it. Whats your assignment? Did he give you your own fleet to command or are somewhere higher. Maybe commander?” Rhys had ran in so quickly that you almost didn’t have time to glamour your face. But the second you saw the joy on his face all the pain washed away. like it did every single time. How many times had you hid the bruises and scars upon your body for your siblings... you couldn't keep track anymore but every time you saw their faces the pain or thought of telling them disappeared

“Umm I am on the front lines” You mustered every bit of confidence you had to try and calm Rhysands worry. You could tell if wasnt nearly enough as you watched your brother begin to panic and break down.

“What?!? No! Why would he do such a thing. I thought for certain he’d give you something. Of more importance! This is absurd. I’ll go talk to him! HE CANT… He JUST CANT-

“HE CAN. And He did. And YOU! Will not breathe one word of this to him. Do you understand?” You waited for Rhys to reply needed him to tell you he wouldn’t provoke your father further. But Rhys only stood there staring at you. So you walked over to him and grabbed him by the shoulders

“Do you understand Rhysand?” you meant it as a question but it came out more as a demand.

“yes I understand” he answered meekly you sighed a thank you to the Mother.

“Thank you.... And Rhys don’t argue with father. Do as he says and listen to his every command. Especially on that battle field.” Rhys only laughed and rolled his eye at your comment.

“Pfft come on Y/n, I know, I know.” Your brother laughed like you weren’t being serious. Like it was something you warned him of everyday. Which he wasn’t wrong but your father wouldn’t be as “forgiving” with Rhys now. He would actually expect Rhysand to perform otherwise it was his reputation that was put at risk.

“I’m serious Rhysand. Do not provoke him. Do not give him any reason to reprimand you. You need to be training everyday and not just till you’re tired like you do now. You need to practice until you’re perfect. He will expect you to be the epitome of perfection and wrath on the battle field.”

“Please I’m not you y/n he couldn’t give two shits about how I perform. I’ve worked my ass off trying to prove I could be worth his Time but no matter how “perfect” I perform, it all about you.” Rhysands words came with a bite. Underlined with jealousy. You wished your father cared for Rhys and your sister....more than anything. But if your ability to protect them meant they had to stay out of his eyesight you would fill this roll everytime.

“I won’t be around forever to protect you from him Rhys. This time he put me in the grunt position and you in the high seat. He’s not expecting me not to embarrass him. I’m expected to be dead before that fight begins. You will be the one who will have to be perfect for him because any weakness in you will make him look bad. You’re his trophy now not me. You will have to protect our sister and mother from him once I’m gone. DO NOT PROVOKE HIM ANYMORE. No more running out with Cassian and Az acting like children. He will take notice and I won’t be there to distract him.” You had never been so serious with Rhys before. Had never spoken to him with such aggression and demand for him to understand. But you needed him to understand because you could not protect him once you were gone. You had shielded him from this for a long as you could.

Rhys didn’t know what to do. He was shocked and scared. Like for the first time he got a glimpse of the pressure and weight that laid on your shoulders. Never thought about how much exactly you shielded him and your sister from. He knew that many times you were the difference between being beat and being sent to his room but had you given more for his protection then he thought? All of these things ran through his mind but what he couldn’t get over was how easily you had admitted you were going to die. How that was the last thing on your mind. But it was the biggest on his mind

“Do you really believe your going to die” Rhys tried to say without shedding a tear but it was clear that he was about to become a mess.

“Oh Rhys I- I will always be honest with you when you ask me something you know that….the truth is that it’s very likely almost impossible not to on the front line.”

“You can’t die out there y/n. Promise me you won’t die out there.” Rhysands voice cracked and tears streamed down his face.

“Rhys I can’t promise you that.” You couldn’t promise him you’d survive so you did the only thing you could do. you held him and for a while the two of you didn’t say anything. Accepting that the each of you could die very soon.

“I can’t promise you I’ll live. But I do promise that I will die fighting to stay alive for you. Can you promise me the same?

“I can. I promise y/n.” And just like that a tattoo formed on your body right behind your ear with a matching tattoo behind Rhys ear.

To this day it was the only tattoo on your body. You didn’t believe in promises did everything you could to avoid them actually but it was a promise that kept you and Rhys connected. A promise that reminded you of how your relationship with your brother used to be. How he used to look up to you and trusted you…. Now you were last person he’d trust to do his laundry. Just another hurdle in his life as High Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{+}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Again! I want it perfect this time!” It had been 3 weeks since Cassian was injured and thank the Mother he was back on his feet. Rhysand had asked you to lead a fleet of rejected Illyrians. Illyrians who had failed miserably every step of their training.

“Y/n please if anyone could make them capable fighters in this short amount of time. It’s you. I’d ask Cassian but he’s healing right now.”

“Rhysand I’m already leading a fleet of day soldiers. Also their Illyrians and I don’t know if you’ve noticed I’m a female…they won’t listen to me.”

“Then make them.”

And that is how you had ended up here. With Day soldiers and Illyrians at each others throats. The Illyrians had actually improved impressively since the first week. You were quick to put them in their place and after three weeks of hard non stop training some of them had even come to respect you. Others were still learning that it was possible a female could run laps around them. On the other hand the Day soldiers were continued to give you an impressive amount of respect and obedience they were more skilled then most of the Illyrians but that was only because they had been training with you longer. But the respect and courteousness of Day combined with the Arrogance and disrespect of the Illyrians didn’t mix well. It led to unnecessary tension you would have to fix. At any moment another battle could arise and they would have to fight with each without trying to kill the other. You had been stuck in your own thoughts when you spotted Helion outside your tent.

“Kemal and Theo grab a weapon and step into the ring Everyone else work on your blocks and dodges.” Kemal had been the Illyrian who had improved the most while Theo was your best soldier from Day. You were truly curious to see who would best who. But you had business to attend to first.

“When I get back everything better be in order or we aren’t breaking for dinner till breakfast” you said as you walked into your tent with Helion following.

“Helion… what do I owe the pleasure?”

“What I can’t come see my mate without a reason” Helion teased while placing a kiss on my temple. You simply laughed.

“I suppose you don’t. However my mate typically does have a reason.” You and Helion had decided not to accept the bond until after the war and to keep the bond a secret until after as well. But you two would undoubtedly accept it the second the war was over. The two of you had found solice and joy in each other in such an awful time. With flirty remarks and touches you kept each other fae while the world threatened to make monsters out of you.

“Ok fine you got me I’m checking in to see how your troops progress is going.”

Helion had taken a seat on your cot and you had found your self standing between his legs running your hands through his hair.

“They are progressing well. I’m no longer worried about the Illyrians fighting they improved however now I worry about the tension between the two groups.” You whispered and could feel Helion relax under your touch

“I don’t understand why your brother gave you them in the first place. You have far exceeded enough favors for him. He cant just keep expecting you to jump to his every whim. What will he do when you become my High Lady? Continue to treat you like your less than-“

“High lady?” You didn’t know why his words had shocked you so much it hadn’t even occurred to you that you’d become a High Lords mate. It wasn’t that you hadn’t expected Helion to treat you as an equal it was more that you had given up those foolish dreams long ago.

“Oh Y/n sorry I didn’t mean to assume you’d court me after I just had thought we were on the same page.”

“No-no Hel that’s not what I meant we are on the same page. I just I don’t know. Hadn’t thought about what my title would be.”

“Did you expect to be anything less? You are my mate. My equal and your brother started something of importance I intend to uphold.”

“Oh Hel I lo-“

“Y/N! I need you now!” Rhysand had come running into the room so fast I had withdrawn my weapon from the sheer shock of it. Helion had instinctively stepped in front of you

“Rhysand you cannot just storm into my tent and demand I go with you.”

“It’s Azriel” that’s all he had to say and you were as serious as could be and running out of your tent without thought. Leaving Helion and rushing to Az.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N thank the mother your here….it’s his wings y/n we need your help.” Cassian looked like more of an emotional reck then Rhys. You could feel the pit of worry growing to a disastrous size. You had no idea what to expect.

“Ahhhhhh, STOP, AHHHHH” you could hear Azriels screams from outside the door. You felt like you were going to be sick like everything in you depended on him surviving.

“Y/N! You need to get in there.” Both Cassian and Rhys stated. They looked like the two little boys you remember making food for. For a split second they mirrored their younger selves coming and pleading to you to make all their problems disappear. But as much as you wanted to make their sorrow go away your feet wouldn't budge. You had no control over your body.

“What?!? I can’t go in there. No I….I can’t.” You couldn’t go in there and see the shape he was in, you would break down the second you saw him.

“Y/N you have to. You’ve studied wings and repairs and clipping reversals for centuries. You studied under Madja. Y/N I’ve seen you save hundreds of wings and Madja needs your help and another person skilled enough to heal his wings so he can still fly after.” Everything they said made sense. It was all logical and you knew that. But it didn’t change that your feet were glued where they were. You indeed had studied under Madja. After you lost your wings you were obsessed with finding a way to reattach them it drove you mad. Once you realized it was just an impossible obsession. Your motivation for the knowledge changed to finding a way to heal or reverse clippings for all those poor girls. Even Illyrian soldiers who’d been injured in the war. You had secretly set up a safe haven for girls who needed immediate help in the mountains. You couldn’t always save the wings but if you couldn’t you could at least ease the pain they’d feel for the rest of their lives.

You were by no means a better healer than Madja you wouldn’t even say you were a healer. You were just skilled in this one area of study because maybe if there was someone who knew all that you knew your back wouldn’t ache everyday. Madja was the best, a great healer and she had taught you well you had just “specialized” and been able to do more with wings.

“Y/N Madja is asking for you” you heard Rhysand say. You wished, wished that you could pull yourself together right now but everything was foggy and blurring together all you could hear was Azriels cries and with each of them you felt more faint. Everyone was frantic, crying, screaming at you. But you couldn’t pull your self out of this state until

“y/n…I know that you love him. I know he is a very dear friend to you and I know that this cannot be easy. I know that your fear and worry for him is over taking you and that is understandable. But right now he needs you to help him.” Feyre spoke to you softly and with love. You could see her compassion and even her own fear in her eyes. Those eyes got your attention enough to realize the severity of the situation and that time was running out.

“Yes I’m. Im sorry. Thank you” you said as you entered the room that Azriel was in. He was laying on his stomach. Head tossing with his arms hanging of the bed. The first thing you saw was blood. There was so much blood. His wings had cuts , breaks, and tares all over them. It was awful, heartbreaking to see his once strong wings torn and tattered. The next thing you noticed was how much pains he was in. His cries and jerking. How every time he jerked or moved the more blood there was.

“Mother thank you, Y/N I need some help stabilizing him. He won’t calm down and if he doesn’t calm down soon he will have lost to much blood.”

Immediately you started to help Madja try and stop the bleeding. You grabbed a cloth and began to apply pressure to his left wing. You weren’t prepared for the screams and cries that came from him.

“I’m sorry….I’m sorry.” You had whispered under your breath over and over again.

“Y/n! I need you to calm him down” Madja instructed.

I can’t I’ll get Rhys or Cassian they can talk to him and Rhys can help ease his pain.

“No they’ve gone to get more elixirs form my office”

You tried to ask him to calm down but nothing. So finally you went to the head of the bed and crouched down so that the two of you were face to face.

“Az I need you stay still for me.” His face was scrunched up and tears were streaming down his face. You didn’t know what else to do so you went with your gut. You brought one of your hands and cupped his cheek while the other grabbed his hand and held it.

“It’s going to be ok Azriel. I’m here I’m going to help you. But I need you to calm down for me. I will not stop until I know that you’ll fly again. But I need you to calm down because every time you jerk or thrash you loose more blood.”

“Y/n i…I’m sorr-“

“None of that. None of that matters right now. Right now I need you to know that I have you. And that I’m sorry for what I have to do. Hold onto this bar ok this is going to hurt.” He squeezed your hand and met you eyes once more. It was a glace that told each of you everything you needed to know.

After he had calmed down you, you tied your hair back and instructed Madja.

“Madja we need to reset the bones now if he stands a chance to ever use them again.”

“That will be far to painful without anymore elixir.” Madja responded with a pained look on her face almost like she was praying that Rhys and Cassian would walk through those doors right now.

“I know that. But we have already lost vital time. And too much blood. It we don’t reset them now then that’s it.” You didnt want to be the fae doing this. prayed to the mother that someone could take your place or that he hadnt been hurt in the first place. Something in you called out to him willing him to hold on. Ensuring him you would do everything you could.

“How much time do we have to wait” was her only reply. As you looked at his body laying on the table you knew he didnt have long but you werent sure if you could bring yourself to break his bone with no way of easing his pain.

“We can only wait 5 more minutes but that mean we don’t have a second to make a mistake we will have to be perfect”

“You’re the expert on this Y/n I’ll follow your instruction” you spared one more glance at Azriel and made a decision within yourself.

“5 minutes” and those were the longest 5 minutes of your lifetime. You and Madja spent it packing his open wounds and staring at the door. By the end of the five minutes you were curing the mother that the only thing your power was capable of was destructive. It consumed and snuffed out unlike feyres or rhysands. They could silence pain, help heal and all you could do was expediate death.

“Thats 5 minutes” you stated with zero joy there was no sign of Rhys or Cass and you would of cursed them but just as you were about to break the first bone Cass and Rhys come running into the room with at least Madja whole stock of Elixirs.

“Give it to him now!” You said and broke the first bone and the scream that fell from Azriels mouth broke your heart. But you knew you had no choice but to keep going and with each break another agonizing scream.

“Rhysand! Put him to sleep!” You yelled at Rhysand while breaking and resetting 2 more bones.

“What I thought Madja said-“

“PUT HIM TO SLEEP RHYSAND” it’s wasn’t instruction or a question it was a command and Rhys didn’t dare finish that sentence and quickly put Azriel to sleep.

“Out” was all you said and Madja shoved them out.”

Madja turned and for just a second watched as a tear rolled down your face. How you moved swiftly and precisely. Not making a single mistake completely focused on repairing his wings. You worked and worked until there was no more work to do.

14 long grueling hours of, resetting, packing, bandaging, and more work but after 14 hours you would of gone 32 hours to know for certain he’d fly again. It wasn't until you were done and collapsed that Cassian had come to retrieve you. You were nothing more than a statue exhausted, silent, and covered in Azriels blood. Cassian had brought you to the shower and helped clean the blood off of you. He didn't expect any words to be exchanged he knew that you had shut out any emotion while you were working on him so everything came up once you were done.

Cassain had seen you like this once before when your family had been murdered. Found you curled up outside of your fathers office staring off into a void. Tried to get you to speak but nothing. He stayed with you all night that night just sitting there with you. You had even completly shocked him that moring when rhysand came down the hall and you shot up, pulled yourself together and were the image of perfection. Went right to taking care of Rhys like there was nothing wrong with you to begin with. If Cas hadnt sat with you all night he would of thought their death had no affect on you. It was that morning Cas realized just how much you loved rhys. How much of yourself you hid away to care for him. How much you had given to become the strong, capable and invincible older sister that all of them had known their whole life. Azriel and Cas had found a way to see through the mask throughout the centuries. It took a long time and it was still difficult to see through they had seen all the signs through out years and years of friendship that showed you were just a female with the weight of prythian on her shoulders. Cas didnt think Rhys was ever able to see through the mask. He still treated you like you were unbreakable. You were and always have been his very capable rock of an older sister.

So now Cas knew what was going to happen. Knew that come morning you would go right back to working like Azriel almost dying had never happened. Like having to hear his screams and be the one to keep pulling him back from death was just another tuesday. But for tonight he'd help wash off the blood and force you to stop scrubbing under your nails when there is no more traces of blood so you didnt rub your hands raw. Hold you while you screamed and beat his chest while tears streamed down your face, insisting you were fine. He would hold you all night while you sobbed and found irrational ways to blame yourself. That is exactly what Cas did and the next morning when Rhys came to check in with you he watched as you smiled at your brother and asked him "why wouldn't I be ok brother? He's fine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Azriel had slept for 5 days. Slowly coming in and out. Any second you had that wasn’t spent teaching was spent next to Azriel, watching his vitals, tending to his wounds , and ensuring the wing bracing hadn’t slipped or moved. Yet the second he awoke you stayed away. You didn’t know what it was that kept you away after he had awoken.

The fear that he didn’t want to see you? That you weren’t ready to forgive him? You didn’t know. Maybe it was that you’d never kept secrets from him and now you were mated and you didn’t know why that made a difference but it did. Was it that you couldn’t trust yourself around him? Or maybe it was simply that Helion had confronted you while he was asleep about the way you felt.

“Y/n I’m not trying to sound jealous or pushing over my line I just want to ensure that you feel nothing for him in that way anymore.”

“Helion you’re joking right? He’s unconscious. I’m simply helping a friend.”

“Y/n this is the first time I’ve talk to you in a week. You have avoided, pushed me off, and ran from me. While your every second is spent here in this tent with him. Rhysand and Madja have assured me and you that he will wake. That he’s fine…..if this is just you worrying for a friend then I entirely understand. However you can’t blame me for being worried. I found out you were my mate the same night you tried to start a relationship with him. I just want to check in with you about where you stand with this bond…..that we want the same thing.

“Helion I- I don’t know what I want the war is all I can think about and then Azriel got hurt. I was concerned for my friend.”

“Ok y/n I understand…. I think it’s best that we pull back a little then. Maybe completely until after the war that just so you have time to think about what you want.”

“Hel that’s not what I meant-“

“Y/n my sweet I am not mad at you. Nothing I have said was against you. You have every right to love whoever and want whatever it is that makes you happy. I’ve just. I’ve loved before and I’ve been stripped of that love. That was one of the hardest things I have been through and I don’t know if I could survive the rejection from my mate if I let myself continue to fall in love with you. Don’t get me wrong I’m already so far deep but I could pull myself out and keep some of my heart. But if don’t pull myself back and I continue to let myself have everything that I want and you were to change your mind it would break me. My heart is yours to have if you want it. All I’m asking is that your sure it’s my heart that you want before we continue.” With that Helion had kissed your forehead and left you outside of the medic tent.

If you had been paying attention you may of caught the pair of eyes from inside that were locked on you and Helion. Maybe of even seen the way Azriel had tried to push him self up to hear the whispered fight the two of you were having.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Y/N” he’s been asking for you.

“I’m not going I have far to much work to do and not enough time.” Rhysand only sighed at you. This is the 5th person who had come to your tent and pleaded with you to see Azriel. First it was Cassain going on and on about how if it weren’t for that one fight you’d be right by his side and instead of him trying to get you to see him, he’d be trying to get you to leave.

When you had told Cassian to fuck off then they sent Mor who described in vivid detail how every time someone walks into the medic tent Azriel is practically breaking his neck to see if it was you. That he is just wrecked with guilt over everything he said. When you had told her you didn’t care she just walked out in disbelief.

Then they had decided to send Feyre…thought maybe because she stopped you from panicking maybe she could convince you to go see him. “Y/n please I know he hurt you. But doesn’t that pale in comparison after almost losing him? I saw you that day you care for him and up until he woke up you were there. Why is it different now that he’s awake?” You had only told Feyre that your decision had been made.

Before they had sent Amren you thought they had given up. Turns out they were just deliberating on who to send. “Girl you need to get your shit together and see the boy.” “No I don’t.” “You need to come see him if I have to watch him mope around like a kicked dog one more day I’m going to kill somebody.” Amren had just stormed out. She gave you the impression that if she had stayed a little longer she would have shared something with you she wasn’t supposed to.

Eventually you found yourself here arguing with your dear brother.

“Y/n you cannot be serious about this. You can’t avoid him forever” Rhysand only pleaded with you.

“I am, I can, and he made it very clear he wanted me to stay away that Is what I’m doing.” You were tired of this. You knew they had watched him say those things to you. Knew what it meant to you. How could they still be insistent you needed to get over it.

“Y/N he didn’t mean-

“I don’t care. I’m not going. I took beatings, I went with Amarantha, I have stayed in your court. Took in your Illyrian troops, saved his wings, and jeopardized a relationship I really cared about by the way, I have sense agreed to seduce Eris about Beron joining this war. What more do you want from me brother? You were broken, could feel all the tape and glue coming apart. Helion had decided to give you space. You couldn’t blame him it was smart and responsible for the both of you. But that left you alone with a troop at each others throat. And friends dying everyday. You just wanted everyone to let you be.

“I want you to go see him.” Was his only reply and you couldn’t believe it or could you? All you were to him was a chess piece to play. Not a sister, not a friend, or a member of his court. Just a pawn to be placed. With that he made his way out of your tent but right before he left you simply replied with what you realized he wanted from you.

“Of course my lord”

What you didn’t expect was for that to make him stop in his tracks and turn around. He stared at you for awhile and you stared back. Neither of you said a word but you could tell he wanted to say 1000 things but not one left his lips.

Rhysand felt guilt overtake him the second the words left your mouth. He knew that all he did was ask more of you. Knew what he sentenced you to under the mountain. A part of him knew he still looked up to you. While the other part only blamed you. For everything. For Mother and your little sister Marjorie. He looked at you and saw the person his father picked every time. He was too busy teaching you how to balance the courts expenses when he bested Cassain the first time. Too busy introducing you to high lords and their sons when he made carynthian. And off instructing you of the do’s and don’ts of war when mother and Marjorie were killed. He had so much bitterness in him but he knew you did everything for him. Held him together and all he did was let his bitterness take over him.

“I’m sorry about Azriel Y/n”

“Why? That may be the one thing that truly isn’t on your shoulder Rhys. He just doesn’t feel for me the way I had him.” The look that Rhysand gave you before leaving almost fooled you. Almost had you believing guilt flashed through his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hated coming to Rhys side of the war tents. It always got you into uncomfortable situations with someone. However we were about to head to the human lands for the last battle fortunately you had finally solidified your troops. Day soilders had learned how to loosen up, Illyrians learned some respect and they were actually getting along. The Illyrian almost made a complete 180 with them actually respecting your power. Asking you actual tips to get better had even included you in some of the barrack pranks. They were ready and you could say that you were proud of the work they had accomplished. As you thought you couldn’t help overhearing the argument coming from the medic tent and peeking in.

“I am coming. I’m fighting in that battle.” You could hear Azriel grunting as he got up from his cot.

“You are not” Cassain and Rhys were quick to respond.

“I am”

“You will not Azriel if you fight you will not fly again.” Madja interrupted and you could feel the shift in the room. Saw the way Cassain and Rhysand shared a look and the way Azriel froze.

“I forbid it Az you will stay here and that is final.” Rhysand commanded and exited the tent on the opposite end with cas and madja followings

Maybe you should of left. Maybe you should of stayed and slipped in when you saw that he was still insistent on going but you couldn’t allow that to happen.

“You better get back in that cot” you had said with your back to a supporting post of the tent.

Azriel flew his head to your voice. Like he didn’t believe it. Couldn’t

“Y/n”

“You can’t do what I know you’re about to do Azriel. You will never fly again. Take it from somebody who knows that pain doesn’t go away.”

“I have to. My entire family is fighting today. What would I be if they died while I laid in this tent.”

“It means youre safe and healing properly. It also means the hours of work I did to save those bat wings don’t go wasted.” You joked and you saw tension roll off Azriels shoulders. “Well um anyway I should get going don’t do anything stupid” as you were leaving azriel grabbed your shoulder and spun you around.

“Y/n, please don’t die. I uhhh, I need you to know... ya know about what I said its-

"Azriel. You can tell me after this war.....look you were right I am exactly what my father raised me to be. Which is why i wont die on that field, I have been in war with far worse odds and lived. I was born for times such as this." You were looking at Az but the male staring back at you wasn't someone you had ever met. There was fear and regret swirling behind his golden orbs. Fear you had never seen Azriel have but this fear was new, like if he released his grip from your shoulder his world would come crashing down.

Azriel stood staring at you with no mask to hide behind. He was wracked with terror. You were once again going into a dangerous situation without him. He would have no way of ensuring your safety... no way of knowing youd come back to but the hope he had in his heart. If that hope was the only thing that could bring you back after this war then mother he'd have more hope then there was in all of pryrinthian.

Before you knew what was happening Azriels had craddled your head back and his lips had met yours. This kiss was different than the first. It wasnt full of lust, desire, and hunger. No this kiss was gentle, it was soft and warm something you couldnt help but melt into. His tongue dipped into your mouth you couldnt help the muffled gasp that escaped from you. He smelled of cedar and ash and in this moment it was like the only thing that existed... the only thing that mattered were the two of you. His shadows danced around your two forms and it felt as if you'd been made whole could of sworn that you felt something snap in your chest. As fast as it came it had disapeared and Azriel had pulled away cupped your cheek and pressed his forehead to yours and whispered.

"just come back to me" before you could reply he had winnowed away leaving you flushed with a sense of guilt as you felt Helion tug on the bond.

--------------------------------------{*}-------------------------------------

When you had finally found Mor to winnow you to the human lands it was chaotic. Humans running and some flat out calling you wicked things simply because you tried to help them. After coralling what felt like hundreds of humans it was time to have march into battle with the king of hybern. You couldnt say that you were ready but you could say that youd give everything you had to ensure the people you loved came out of this war.

--------------------------------------{*}-------------------------------------

In the midst of Battle you struggled to breath there was so much blood. It was like you were drowning in it. Hybern Soldiers just kept coming so just you kept slashing them down one by one. When the battle had first started you could see Cassian and Rhys in the skies but blood coated your eyes so that all you could truly see was right in front of you. Your men surrounded you and as you looked to your left and right you could tell they were just as exhausted as you. Every now and then you or Helion would tug on the bond just to give peace of mind that the other was still ok. As time went on you weren’t sure if you’d win this war. It seemed that the Hybern Soldiers just outnumbered you. Many lives were lost and the battle went on. You used every bit of strength and ounce of magic you had. Especially when you heard Nestas scream for Cassian. It was so loud that both you and Cas had whipped your head around and if it had been a second longer both you and Cas would have been dead but you called to the power inside of you and wrapped the starlight around yours and Cassians figure tightly. Pushed up a wall of pure power to protect your men on the battle field. The blast was so strong it brought you to your knees and the scream that left you broke Cassians heart. But he Watched as you fought every second holding the shield and wall against the blast. Honestly after that the war was a blur. The only other thing you remember after that was Rhys.

You could remember right before your brother had died. You magic racing across to Hybern. To tear his very heart out for threatening Rhys. You remember the panic and dread. Your power an inch of hybern when one of his men had tackled you to the ground. And then you felt it the tattoo on your neck glow and disappear. You had sliced the soldiers throat so fast and stood. Had to know if what you felt was true and when you saw Rhys body and Feyre screaming the world went black.

The next thing you knew you were being carried by Helion off of the field. Madja over your body. You were in and out of consciousness. one second there was madja or mor, then Cas and always Hel. But it wasnt until you saw Rhys. You saw your brother and you could feel the smile on your face. Had determined he was there to take you home.

"rhys...' you let out with a shaky breath.

"Y/N thank the mother, Y/n you are going to be ok". You could hear Panic and see tear on your brothers face which confused you. You were ready you just wanted to be with him and here he was telling you no.

"y/n please Im ok. But you have to be ok. Im alive you can come back. COME on Y/N. You promised remember.. You promised me... Y-

you watched in and out how upset rhys was how worked up he was. Saw as Cassian dragged him away and then nothing.

When you finally awoke your family filled you in and just like that you insisted you were fine. Now arguing in your room with Helion who hadn't left your side. went on about how you needed to slow down. to go back home to day and relax.

"I couldn't of lost you Y/N" Helion shared as he let out a sigh.

"Hel Im ok. Its going to be ok." you held him as he cried for awhile until he stood.

"Come back home. I'll know you're safe there. I can even ensure i dont go overboard with overprotecting you." you could see the love shing through Hels eyes. Could feel how much needed you to say yes. To let him care for you flowing through the bond.

"Ok ok... we will pack tomorrow tonight just be with me."

"I love you Y/n"

With that Helion brought you in and kissed you longingly. Like this was what he needed to ground him in your safety.

Poor Azriel couldn't pull his gaze from your bedroom window. Where he stood outside with a bouquet of flowers eye glued to the scene above him. You smiling at Helion, his hands on your hips looking down at you with so much love almost Azriel could feel it. Watched as he placed a kiss on your lips and how you only deepened it. how you leaned into him and flung your arms around his neck. Watched as Helion lifted you up with your lips still attached to one another. And he especially couldn't tear his gaze away when he felt a golden thread snap into view...connecting him to you. Azriel sat atop that mountain with those flowers with his heart breaking long after the lights of your bedroom had gone out.

Tags

@mis-lil-red @bankerfrog @paasrin @judig92 @boys-no-books-better @powerfulpantera @randomfortheday @answer-the-sirens @kuraikei @issybee0611 @lennaleen @starryhiraeth

#acotar fanfiction #a court of war and ruin #acotar x reader #azrielxreader #acotar series #acotar fluff #azriel spymaster #azriel fanfic #a court of mist and fury #azriel acotar #azriel fic #helion acotar #helion x reader #cassian #rhysand

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queen--of--shadows · 2 years

Text

Healing Shadows: Part 7

Azriel x Reader

Summary: Reader is a gifted surgical healer and water bender. Rhysand needs her help when he finds out about Feyre’s risky pregnancy. Azriel finds out reader is his mate.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2,916

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

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Part 7: Mate

It was the morning of Solstice. Azriel paced around his room, unable to sleep all night, unable to get you out of his mind.

From the moment Rhys introduced you to him before Feyre’s surgery, you seized every waking moment of Azriel’s life. He couldn’t even blink or sleep without you consuming his thoughts. He took any opportunity to be around you, brush his fingers against yours, his ruined hands aching to run over every inch and curve of your body.

Azriel had a suspicion as soon as you walked into the House that you were his mate. His shadows were annoyingly obsessed with you, always finding an excuse to swarm in your direction, and it took everything in his power to keep them leashed under his command. He and his shadows were entranced by you, and although he knew he should keep his distance, he couldn’t help himself as he kept finding reasons to be near you, talk to you, touch you.

But he knew better than to get his hopes up. Cassian and Rhys—they were deserving, more than deserving of mates. They were honorable, gentle, kind, strong. His brothers were the most noble and fiercely loyal men he had known his entire life. Azriel wished he could say the same about himself. His self-hatred ran deep, feeling no better than bastard-born murderous scum. He did nothing right to deserve someone like you in his life, and the Mother knew it. He had always wished for a mate, the desire becoming all-consuming when Feyre and Nesta came around. He was happy for his brothers but couldn’t contain the jealousy that would eat away at him in his loneliness.

And then you showed up, like a gift from the Gods, with your bright sparkling eyes, sweet honey-jasmine scent, the melodic sound of your laugh that skittered along his bones.

All night, he replayed his failed attempt at impressing you yesterday with a surprise flight when you returned from town with your shopping bags in tow. He thought the gesture was sweet, and he was delighted to be the first one to take you flying, but your grumbling had Azriel reeling all night.

He knew what you were thinking: that something was going on between him and Elain. He wanted so badly to explain that there was nothing; he simply had to play nice with his brother’s sister-in-law, per Rhys’s commands. Everyone knew Elain had been pining over him since they first met in the mortal realms, but Rhys didn’t want to risk any tensions between Feyre’s sisters, already traumatized from dealing with Nesta’s backlash after she was Made. Azriel had no choice but to keep the peace, even if it meant never setting that boundary with Elain. He knew it was wrong and that he should just be honest with her, but he was afraid of causing any disturbance with the sensitive female. He was caught now between placating Elain and allowing a misrepresented image of himself in your perspective, worsening by the day as Elain constantly barged into your private moments with him. Az cursed himself, but today would be the day. He would end everything with Elain on Solstice and confess his true feelings to you.

He left for town right before you, hoping to “casually” run into you in one of the stores or strolling through the streets, tracking your scent from shop to shop. Your gift was the last one he had to pick up. He knew the second he saw that they were perfect: soft black leather gloves, lined with fur on the inside to keep your hands warm during training in the morning, with the very tip of the fingers cut out so you could still waterbend and feel connected to the fluids as you trained. Azriel knew how much you hated the cold, evident from your adorably grumpy face and shivering body every morning when Cassian would drag you out to the roof. He wanted to wrap you in his arms and keep you warm, but for now, the gloves would do. Wrapping the gift carefully, he left it at the bottom of the stack of presents so it would be the last one you opened.

The guilt ate Azriel alive as he watched you try and fail to become friends with Elain. His heart sank as he watched her disregard your gift, throwing it towards her pile as if it were trash. It was his fault this was happening, and you were suffering the consequences. That was when he decided things had to change. He couldn’t stand the disappointment on your face.

He figured you would get everyone a gift since it was your first Solstice with the Inner Circle, but was still giddy with joy as he opened yours in the comfort and privacy of his room. It took him less than a few seconds to pick your gift out from the rest, his shadows circling it incessantly until he found it. He unwrapped the small package quickly, hating the contrast of his marred hands against your perfect wrapping. Finding the perfect place on his desk to set the mug, right within his view, it would be the first thing he saw when he woke up and the last before going to sleep.

Sleep that escaped him so often these days, just like tonight.

It was Solstice, and he wouldn’t let another day go to waste. He needed to make things right.

---------------------------

Gods damn it, Mor, Azriel thought to himself while getting dressed for Rita’s. He wanted a moment alone with you so he could explain everything: that he didn’t care about Elain and knew how bad it looked, how he had been wanting to explain himself, to now give you the chance to get to know him and who he is behind the mask of the Night Court’s Spymaster.

But of course, Mor suggested Rita’s, and it was Feyre’s birthday. He had to go.

He tried his best to impress you, donning an all-black ensemble, cut perfectly to fit the strong, hard planes of his body and showcase the Illyrian tattoos swirling over his muscled chest. But then you emerged from Mor’s room, and he felt like absolutely nothing compared to you. You took his breath away, looking like a dream in the flowy blue dress, matching the color of his siphons. It took every ounce of Azriel’s control to refrain from tackling Cassian to the ground when he saw his brother twirling you around, your laughter like a salve that healed every wound in his heart.

But the night only plummeted downhill from there.

---------------------------

“Hi, Az,” Elain started sweetly with a wide grin, looping her arm through Azriel’s. “Ready for a fun night?” she asked, batting her lashes as she looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes, and Azriel knew without her asking that he would have to be the one to fly her in. Like always. With a deep sigh, he nodded and scooped her up, Elain’s fingers playing with the silky strands at the base of his neck.

Get your hands out of my hair, he wanted to spit at her.

Rita’s was packed and vibrating with loud music, and Azriel wanted nothing more than to snatch you from the crowd and take you home. He couldn’t help the lump in the back of his throat that formed at Mor’s toast, raising his glass ever-so-slightly higher at your name. Even though it hadn’t been long since you entered his life, Azriel’s chest swelled with pride at your progress as a healer and waterbender. You overcame so much in your short time at the House, tackling your weaknesses one by one. He hoped you could feel the genuine love and adoration in Mor’s words; they were reflective of how everyone felt about you, not just him.

Azriel wasn’t one for dancing, so he returned to the table where he knew Elain would be waiting for him, legs crossed and leaning back in the booth, giving the seat next to hers a pat, an invitation for him to join her. Thank Gods Gwyn was there this time, too. The perfect buffer. And he knew by the look on Elain’s face she wasn’t pleased about it.

Azriel tried his best not to stare as he watched you mingle and drink and dance, tried not to let his wrath unleash as he saw his friends take turns with you: Mor, Nesta, Cassian.

But then he saw the way you looked at Lucien.

Saw Lucien make his way through the crowd towards you, drinking from your glass before you grabbed him by the collar and whispered in his ear.

No fucking way.

There was no way that you were interested in that egotistical snarky fox boy. Azriel loathed the entirety of the Autumn Court, including Lucien. He didn’t care if he was Helion’s son, and especially didn’t care now that Lucien had a hand around your waist. Even Elain went rigid next to him, a low growl escaping her lips that Azriel barely registered as—

Right then—it hit him.

Azriel couldn’t breathe. The pounding of his heart rang in his ears.

No no no no no

His mouth remained slightly parted as he stared you down, the entire world melting away into a blur of darkness, as he watched a tiny gold thread unravel itself, straight from his chest to yours. You danced and danced, twirling and spinning with your eyes closed, smiling wide, singing along to the music, your hair billowing around you as if you were underwater, skin glowing with the light of a million stars. Azriel had never seen a more beautiful sight. Tears lined his eyes, and he didn’t even realize he had gotten out of his seat, hand almost stretched out as if he could touch you from where he stood.

And then the world came back into focus, and all he could see was Nesta’s hands on you, Lucien’s hands on you, everyone’s fucking hands on you.

He was going to throw up.

Anger roiled through every single vein and he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. Azriel saw red as his shadows began swarming around his neck in a frenzy. Mate mate mate they chanted, over and over, louder and louder. His lip curled back in disgust, baring his teeth with a low, feral snarl.

Elain said with a cool, delicate hand on his forearm, feigning innocence as if she wasn’t aware of what was happening, “Az, is everything okay? You seem tense.”

Azriel whipped his head towards her, anger and rage sparking in a frenzy in those deep hazel eyes. Elain’s eyes widened as she recoiled from his arm. Gone was the cool calm mask of the Spymaster. Cassian, sauntering over to the table with a round of shots, grabbed Azriel by the shoulder, ready to drink with his brother when he saw the look on his face and nearly dropped the glasses in his hand.

“Az, what’s wrong?”

Azriel ripped Cassian’s hand off of him. “She’s my mate, and Lucien’s got his filthy fucking hands all over her,” he seethed. Wrath and grief rolled off of him in near-palpable waves, and his serpentine shadows wreathed around his neck, ready to strike and attack: the portrait of a Prince of Darkness.

Snapped out of his drunken stupor, Cassian gaped at his brother, then at you, then back at his brother. Before he could think, Azriel’s feet were already carrying him to you. He couldn’t help it, he had to rip Lucien off of you. But when he saw the way you rolled your eyes at him as if he wasn’t even worth the dirt under your feet, as if he was nothing, his heart cracked in two. That golden thread shone brighter than ever, but… With the way you ignored him and kept dancing with Lucien, he knew that you didn’t know. The bond hadn’t clicked in for you yet. Cassian made his way through the crowd, making sure to avoid any hassle with Lucien, and winnowed you home. Azriel took to the skies to release his anger.

Mate. He had a mate. He had never even dared to dream of this day, the day he would meet his match, his equal, his Cauldron-blessed mate. All for it to end up like this. Had Cassian not intervened, you would’ve gone home with Lucien. Let him ravish and worship your body in the way that Azriel had been dreaming of since the moment he laid eyes on you. The thought made him blind with rage.

He landed on the balcony of the House with a loud thud, pacing back and forth to cool off. He had to check, had to make sure Lucien didn’t somehow slither his way into the House. He knew it was impossible, but… still.

He first sent his shadows toward your room to confirm. Safe safe safe, they whispered menacingly in his ear. Cracking open the bedroom door, he peered in and dropped his head in relief. You were alone, sprawled out on your bed, snoring softly. Azriel couldn’t help the small smile that graced his face, the first one all night. With a deep sigh, he walked silently over to you, covering you with a blanket. Az allowed himself to drink in the sight of you, sleeping peacefully and deeply, before winnowing into his room. He sat on the edge of his bed, head dangling in defeat. He had a plan, he was going to tell you everything tonight. But he ruined it. All because he couldn’t put his foot down with himself, with Rhys, with Elain. His shadows swirled frantically around his ankles, wrists, and neck, begging him to go be with you. Az didn’t have the energy to contain them anymore and let them find their way to you.

He hadn’t even realized how late it was, the low light of the early morning now peaking through his bedroom curtains. Fuck. It was already time for training. He took a quick bath, scrubbing himself in the scalding hot water to get rid of any trace of his shitty night. The tugging of the bond was intolerable. Please, it begged, please tell her. All he wanted was to grab your sleeping body and carry you into his bed, the safety of his arms where he knew no one would be able to touch you. How did Rhys last so long with Feyre in the Spring Court? he thought, unable to stand another second of you not being his.

---------------------------

The chill winter morning air bit at his skin while he waited for Cassian and Nesta to join him on the roof. But to Azriel’s surprise, Rhys and Feyre showed up before anyone else.

“Az, is everything alright?” Despite perfecting his unreadable Spymaster mask, Feyre had gotten to know the small changes in Azriel’s demeanor over the years and could tell when something was bothering him.

“She’s my mate,” he whispered with a tired, distant look, one arm crossed over his chest, the other mindlessly tugging at his black stud earring. Rhys and Feyre didn’t need further details. They shared a panicked look, and Rhys quickly said, “Maybe it’s best if you sit out this training, then.” But before Az could answer, a bright flash of sunlight lit up the roof as Helion and Lucien appeared in the training ring. The High Lord of the Day Court sat atop a beautiful pegasus, its silky golden coat, mimicking the crown resting on Helion’s head, glowing in the morning sun.

No fucking way. Not again.

Az threw Rhys an incredulous look, one mixed with rage. Truth Teller was in his hand in an instant, angled with lethality, and in response, Helion let out a deep, seductive laugh. “Now, now, my beautiful wicked Shadowsinger. We come in peace. Our dearest Lord of Night has asked Lucien to help train Y/N with her waterbending. He is her opposite and will use his fire so she can begin her combative training against other skills. Unless, of course, you want to play with her and your shadows, a sight I would pay good money to delight in,” Helion said with a dazzling grin. Azriel’s lip curled back as he glared at Lucien, who simply held up his hands with a smirk. He would rip that smile right off his stupid fucking mouth.

“Rhys, you have to be fucking kidding me. Find someone else, anyone else except this asshole,” he seethed with stone-cold fury. Rhys pulled him aside, away from the group, as Cassian, Nesta, and Elain made their way outside.

“Please, Az. I’m sorry, I didn’t know, but Lucien and Helion are here now and graciously accepted my request to train with her. It’s going to be fine, I told Lucien to take it easy. Trust me, I know how it feels. But after training today, you can be honest with her. I won’t force you to keep worrying about Elain’s feelings. Feyre and I will deal with that. It’s time she gives her own mate a chance, anway” he said, glancing sidelong at Lucien. “We will convince her today to go spend some time in the Day Court.” Rhys offered a sympathetic look, which did nothing to calm the icy rage that exploded repeatedly in Azriel’s chest. He didn’t say another word as you finally stalked over to the edge of the ring, eyes wide.

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taglist: @cute-baby-ducks @brekkershadowsinger @iangelofmusic @j-pendragonx @foggypeanutmongeroaf @nxrvto @luckypersonmentality @eddiesbixch696 @davinaclaire16 @lexie1o9 @thewarriormoon @halfmeltedcandles @cartoonnerdgirl @wrensical003 @sparksandthorns @abigailrose98 @mrs-azriel @cafe-inaaa @sparklymiraclecheesecake @moonlightazriel @caosfanblr

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pit-and-the-pen · 5 days

Text

Okay y’all help me out. Seriously thinking of making that Azriel x day court! Reader (read it here)an on going fic series sooooo I need input on this

Alt suggestion: There’s two endings as a sort of choose your own adventure because I realized I’m leaning a certain way for the continued series part.

Update: Part 2 is up! To honor the poll I made two parts. You can read the Eris version Here and the Az version Here

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eve175 · 1 month

Text

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acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies · 3 months

Text

Moonflower

(Flowers part II)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

Azriel x ex!reader, Rhysand x sister!reader, future Helion x reader

Warnings: angst, brotherly fluff (love u rhysie poo), swearing, elain and azriel slander (minor)

warnings & summary will be updated at every part.

Prompts: N/A

Summary: Nesta and Feyre had taken your wedding dress from Elain and handed it back to you. With the help of Rhysand, you burn it. Rhys suggests for you to go to Day Court and take some time, while he sorts things out with Azriel. What happens when a certain High Lord catches your eye?

a/n there’s going to be so much angst in this series😭 if you ever feel like killing me just know i love you guys, the names of this series are gonna be based off flowers this one is called moonflower as a homage to the night court

I had gone upto my room, not wanting to see the pitying looks of my friends.

Growing up as a High Lord’s daughter made me detached from the world, forced me to hide my emotions. Which is why, I didn’t shed a single tear until I was in the safety of my bedroom.

Shrinking down against my door, I finally allowed the thoughts to catch up.

Every single time he told me he made love to me, he really meant “I’m fucking your brother’s sister in law right under your nose,”.

I don’t even think I can call it making love anymore.

When he told me he loved me, he really meant “I love Elain, not you”.

All of a sudden all his words had double meanings.

“I’m going out,” meant “I’m going to Elain’s”.

“I already ate,” equaled “I ate at Elain’s”.

And at the very end of it all, “I have a mission” was actually “I’m going to get married to Elain,”.

Elain, Elain, Elain. What did she have that I didn’t? I had known him for centuries, been there for him through nightmares, defended him from others, hell I had given my everything to him.

And instead of returning them properly, he had broken them, trampled on my poor heart, fed my mind lies and broken my every being.

Sobs wracked my body as I hunched over myself. My hair was sticking to my face by the tears. Crying quietly, I twisted the ring off my finger, chucking it somewhere in the dark.

Hearing the soft clang of the metal landing made me sob even more. It was a beautiful ring, truly. A silver ring with diamonds encrusted on the top, 3 beautiful gems the colour of Azriel’s siphons. A blue so dark it could pass as black.

My ears were ringing, I could hear a knock on the door, but it was just some background noise compared to the noise of rushing water in my ears.

A talon of power scraped against my walls gently. Getting up, I open the door.

Rhysand stands there with my dress in his hands.

“I said I didn’t want it,” I state, stubborn as ever.

“I know that’s why I came to ask if you wanted to burn it with me,” he says hesitantly.

My eyes flick between Rhysand and the dress, a silent war forging in my violet eyes.

“Fuck it, let’s go”

My meltdown dazed mind didn’t seem to realise that Rhysand hadn’t taken me out through the main hall, but through the back entrances. Too tired to comprehend anything, I didn’t ask even when I realised it.

As if waiting for me a bonfire pit had formed.

Before we had left the room, I had grabbed a box filled with Azriel’s things that I wanted to burn.

With a flick of Rhys’ wrist the dress was positioned on the stand. A stick with fire was commissioned and he handed it to me.

“Would you like to do the honours, little star?” He says waving the stick towards me. I smile slightly at the use of the old nickname.

I grab the stick and throw it at the dress, revelling in the way it burnt.

One by one I added the items from the box.

A human polaroid of the two of us. His comfy grey shirt. All his letters. Flowers he had given me 2 days ago. A glass rose, funny really because my favourite flower isn’t a rose, it’s a moonflower. A promise ring he had got me. The prototype wedding invitation.

Rhysand watched me as I threw object after object into the endless pit of fire. Once the box was empty, I lunged the box into the fire as well.

That’s when he finally spoke up, “Little star, do you want to go visit Day Court for a while, Helion said any one from our court could visit his,”.

I nodded, the anger I had grown from the objects fading into sadness. Rhys held me close wiping my wet, tear stained cheeks. “It’ll be alright” he soothingly whispers.

I had packed my bags the night of the burning and had prepare for going to Day Court the next day.

“Rhys I can winnow myself,” I huffed as he dragged me along.

“I know, I know I just wanted to make sure you got there safe,” he sighs. Understanding, I let him take me there.

If Day Court was beautiful then they’re High Lord was gorgeous.

a/n i need sleep

taglist: @esposadomd @impossibelle @acotarfics-mharmie009 @stqrgirlies-blog @balam-sen @cumuluscranium @witchymomfrien (striked out means i couldn’t tag you)

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danikamariewrites · 10 months

Note

Could you write something with short reader x Helion? Someting cute? Thank you!

Love your stories😍

Helion x short!reader headcanons

A/n: thank you anon! I hope you don’t mind I did it as a hc

Warnings: some nsfw (18+ only pls)

We all know Helion is big

I like to think he’s the tallest high lord

He’s also super muscular and like has a super defined chest

He's obsessed with how much smaller you are than him

Like you barely come up to his biceps

This male absolutely has a size kink

He loves that he can easily (but gently) manhandle you (he's not ready to let that side of him fully show yet)

You go dumb when he fucks you bc you're so distracted by how his body cages you in

It's exhilarating just watching his muscles as he thrusts into you. He would catch you staring and he'd coo at you “Aww my little baby, I know you love how big I am. Makes you go dumb huh?”

It's just so easy to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder

He loves carrying you everywhere

When you want a piggyback ride he has to kneel down so you can jump on his back

It always makes you laugh when he's working out and you're with him and he just starts doing bench presses with you

Other workouts you love to sit with him are push-ups, you just lay on his back, and he holds you while doing lunges. Helion likes to bring you up to kiss him after each one

He towers over you and when he holds your smaller hand in his large one he swoons

Helion lives to protect you, not only bc you're his mate but bc you're smaller than other fae

He's scared something could happen to you or you could easily get hurt

Has a million nicknames for you, little love, short stack, teeny, tiny, etc.

Whenever you can't reach something high up Helion’s always there to get it for you

He moves things to higher shelves on purpose

From your shoes to your favorite snacks everything seems to be moving up

“Helion, are you moving my stuff?” He'd look at you shocked, hand on his chest, “Y/n, I would never” he would say dramatically

Bc you are shorter you became an expert at climbing, it started when you were a kid and the habit carried over into adulthood

The first time Helion caught you climbing a shelf to reach a book his heart almost jumped out of his chest

You were looking through Helion's personal little library by your shared bedroom when you noticed a book on the top shelf that you'd been wanting to read

Helion was busy and you didn't like bothering him for small things

So you moved an armchair closer to the bookcase and started lifting yourself up the shelves

Helion walked in right as you were about to grab the book

His eyes almost popped out of his head as he rushed over to grab you by your waist and pull you down

“Y/n what are you doing!?” “I saw this book I've been wanting to read so I was just trying to grab it.” he'd flip you to hold your bridal style and sigh. “My little love please don't do that again. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I can't stand the idea of you getting hurt for something I can do for you. Please ask me next time no matter what.”

He pulled the book down for you and handed it to you placing a kiss on you're forehead

You looked up at him with an innocent, hopeful look and asked, “Can we read together for a bit?” He chuckled, “Absolutely we can.” “can I sit in your lap?” “Always my little love, always.”

#acotar fanfiction #acotar #acotar reader imagine #acotar reader fic #acotar imagine #high lord helion #helion acotar #helion fluff #helion headcanon #helion spell cleaver #helion x reader #helion x you

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utterlyotterlyx · 26 days

Note

Cassian and writing prompt #21, “Stay”

I’m desperate for more Cassian x Reader fics!! Thank you :)

Arsonist's Lullaby

Cassian x Fem!Reader

Summary - Cassian thinks he knows best when he pushes you away, to protect you, but nothing prepared him for a threat on your life and no one can stop him from reaching you.

Warnings - angst, smut smut smut, fluffffffff, swearing, mentions of death

Word Count - 4.9k

Sunlight speckled over your skin, its warm embrace curling around like Cassian once did, glittering its unwavering love across your paled surface, willing it back to life.

It wasn't out of the ordinary for you and Cassian to fight, but something about that fight felt different. More final in a way.

Cassian was always worrying over you, his mate, and what harm his title could potentially inflict upon you. He had been pushing you away, had been spending more time away from you; you knew why, you knew he was scared of being the reason anything happened to you but that didn't mean that he had to shut you out.

Your mate had done everything to prepare you for any potential attack, any risk to your life, you were a skilled fighter thanks to Cassian, even Azriel broke into a sweat sparring against you and Cassian smirked with pride at the image.

Weakness was not a part of your vocabulary, he knew that, but he still treated you as a fragile swirl of winter warmth and you weren't appreciating it.

Confronting Cassian had ensued an argument that would shatter any unmated couple, you had both hurled abusive words to one another, you had called him spineless and unwilling to fathom your ability to be able to care for yourself like you had during the war against Hybern when you had used your rare gift of Solakenisis to hurtle spheres of radiating flame across the battlefield. In return, Cassian had called you weak and pathetic, he had called you reckless and immature, and landed his final blow of calling you jealous of the other women in your circle for having the freedom and strength that you would never be able to wield.

Such an argument left you both panting, with raw throats and wet cheeks, with snarls of hatred sculpted to your usually attached lips.

Cassian had left you then, had left you alone in your shared home with a bag in his hand without a word of when he would return to you. It felt final. It felt damning.

So you decided to leave yourself, but instead of leaving to escape the too-large-for-yourself home to the sanctuary of the residence of your family, you chose to leave the city altogether and chose to not tell a soul, not even Rhys as he tapped on the walls of your iron clad mind once he had felt your essence float through his wards.

Sunlight continued to kiss your skin as you lay in the familiar comfort of your Day Court bed, in the room Helion had promised to always keep for you. Helion was your older brother, well half-brother, but he wouldn't let anyone mutter a word about your bastard heritage, your shared father had been quite the rake in his prime, and such actions birthed you, his bastard daughter with the power to harness the destructive powers of the sun.

It was baffling for you to comprehend why exactly Cassian was so worried for you when you had the ability to unleash heavenly fire across Prythian if you so wished it. That, and the fact that the bond had snapped for Cassian one evening in Day was why Rhys had lobbied for your presence in his court in the first place all those years ago, long before Amarantha.

Amarantha was intrigued by you, you were the only individual she wasn't able drain power from, your abilities were other-worldly, untouchable. So, she gave you an option, stay uninvolved and advise her or watch your brother perish before your eyes. You chose the former.

All you have is your fire. Use it.

Amarantha erupted into flames when she had killed Feyre, unable to free herself from the bindings you had chained around her limbs. She had screamed, gargled in fact as you stood behind her, hands at your sides and your mind ripping her apart from the inside out. Boiling and burning her alive. Fire danced through your hair, it burned brightly in your eyes, sunlight pulsed around you, a blinding thing, a warning to others.

Your power was not yours to gift, it was not for anyone else to yield but you, Helion knew as much and was stern as he told Tamlin that you were not to offer up any of your power to save the human girl in his arms.

That said human girl, Feyre, now your High Lady, had grown to be a very good friend of yours.

Rising from the depths of the cream silken sheets, you touched your rough cheeks, crying for hydration from the tears you had poured upon them for the eighth night in a row. The bond had gone cold by your own foolish wish, you had locked it off, you had refused any attempts of contact, and Helion had obliged and denied your presence in his court when Rhys and Cassian had reached to him, Helion had even gone as far as to plant a seed in Feyre's mind that you may be in Autumn since Eris was a good friend of yours despite his relationship with the Night Court.

Autumn was the one place they would have difficulty infiltrating, and Eris was more than happy to play along if it gave you some peace.

Eight days was the longest you had gone without Cassian, without anything flowing through the bond, without seeing him, without being wrapped up in his body as he fucked you relentlessly into oblivion.

It was exhausting.

The Day Court sun brought some life back to you, cascading her glow upon you and enriching your skin with her gentle loving shimmer. She had always doted on you, the energy she bestowed upon you was unmatched, and you often found her watchful eye following you wherever you walked, whispering to you always.

The sun had chosen you, her vessel, to right the wrongs of the world, and Cassian always chose to look over that fact.

Your home court was known for its elaborate fashion, the ornate gold jewellery and accessories that you had found wrapped around your hands and feet, and the halo crown caressing the back of your head. The dress you had worn held a solid gold bodice of intricate swirls that allowed your skin to peek out beneath it, that attached to a pale shimmering skirt, and golden chains draped across your collarbones and fell down your spine. It moulded to your figure perfectly.

You were not weak or jealous, or reckless, you were a child of the sun, a strong and formidable creature. No one, not even Cassian, could take that from you.

Cassian had been cursed out by every member of your shared family when he had arrived at the House of Wind looking like shit with a bag between his fingers.

He thought he was right. He thought he was protecting you. But after having his ass handed to him by Azriel and Rhys, and Feyre and Mor's stern words, and Amren's glare of pure disgust, Cassian knew he had fucked up.

Cassian had raced back to your shared home, one that was a harmonious myriad of light and dark, of sun and night, and found it solemn and empty. He had raced up the stairs, he had looked in your drawers and saw everything still in place, then he had headed to your vanity and inhaled sharply when he saw that the small picture of your mother had gone, which meant you had too.

Screaming down the bond, Cassian was met with a stone cold wall of rippling silence, and he broke. Cassian fell to his knees holding one of your dressed between his fingers, it still smelt of you, of hot salted ocean breezes and fresh roses, and he cried.

He had spent the next week trying to locate you, being turned away from every court, even Helion had no idea where you had gone, but had told Feyre that you may have gone to Eris, your friend, as you knew that would be the one place he couldn't get to you.

Rhys had demanded entry to Autumn, which Eris had refused with a sly smirk on the boarder, his hounds circling through his legs. Eris was enjoying Cassian's pain far too much and had the gall to quip, "She doesn't want to see you, Lord of Bloodshed. Perhaps you listen to her this time, considering you have a habit of refusing to."

A spit in the face of his love for you. Cassian had gone to step over the threshold only to be held back by Azriel, Eris' hounds were snarling and barking at the three Illyrians trying to enter their home, "You would risk war?"

Eris grinned, fixing the lapels of his jacket, "A war would take y/n from you forever. I don't think you'd be that stupid," he turned from them, whistling for his hounds to follow, "As long as she's here, she will be fine. I suggest you go home and mull over the ways in which you have failed her."

Missions were the only thing that would give Cassian the opportunity to relent his frustrations, his force was sickening, he broke the bones of their enemies with his bare hands, he ripped them apart with his own self-loathing fury. Azriel had never seen Cassian in such a state, he blamed himself for your disappearance, and rightfully so, any of them could have told him that you were capable of destroying him if needed, let alone anyone else. Though, Azriel didn't blame Cassian for trying to protect you, for believing that your bond could bring harm to you, Azriel would think the same if he were in Cassian's shoes.

"Cass, we do need at least one of them alive," Azriel followed his brother on his war path, he watched him in concern as he drove his sword through the hearts of many soldiers.

Bodies lay broken around them, blood coated the ground and walls, it was a monstrous sight to take in. Cassian's hair lay unbound on his shoulders, matted with sweat that coated his brow, his wings were tense as he swung, they shuddered in fear of his force.

Cassian grunted to Azriel, whipping his air away from his face and facing him with a dead glare behind his hazel eyes, "Fine," he smirked and sheathed his sword, motioning to Azriel to approach the singular male who was moments away from death.

Blood coated his lips, his eyes had dimmed, but he still wore evil like a brooch on his heart, he spat the contents of his bloody mouth at Azriel as he bent down to grasp him by the collar, "You're going to tell me of your plans to attack Velaris, you're going to tell me and I may spare you."

The male chuckled low and sinister, hatred blazed in his faltering eyes and he smiled, toothy, but blood coated the once yellow tinged teeth. There wasn't much time to get answers, "We're already moving, you're too late."

Azriel cocked his head to the side, "I'm going to need more than that. I can make this much more painful for you," Truthteller dragged across the males bobbing throat, he knew of the Shadowsinger, he had heard to rumours of his ruthless torture.

The males gaze flickered to Cassian who stood behind Azriel, leaning against the bloodied wall looking disinterested, "You can thank him for that," his finger twitched in Cassian's direction, "Do you really believe that your High Lord is the protector of your court?" The male leaned forward, "Your greatest protector, the most powerful being in Prythian, is no longer being hidden by your court. She is elsewhere, we have been watching her, preparing for the perfect moment to snatch her away. With her power in our grasp, we will be unstoppable."

Cassian felt panic settle in his soul as the male continued, bitterly laughing as he spoke, "Y/N. A child of the sun, back in her home court, ready to follow her destiny. You can thank your Lord of Bloodshed for accelerating our plans."

Azriel turned to Cassian with wide eyes, eyes that Cassian matched. It was never about attacking Velaris, it was about capturing you, using your power for their own tyrannical plans, bleeding you dry and taking your power from your body.

"Cass-"

But Cassian was already moving, turning on his heels and pelting from the room as fast as he could, flexing his wings to ready them for flight whilst calling out to Rhys to meet them at the Day Court Palace as fast as possible.

Cassian flew as fast as he could, he would never be able to forgive himself if anyone harmed you, especially when he had made it so easy for them to reach you. He had to find you, he had to stop it, he had to save you.

Helion growled at the intrusion of the three Illyrians entering his personal library that was three times the size of the library at the House of Wind, but his snarl faltered when he saw the frenzied eyes and the blood coating Cassian and Azriel's armour. He rose from his seat quickly, not having a moment to say anything when Cassian paced over to him, "I don't have time for pleasantries. She's in danger. Where is she?"

Helion noted the fire in Cassian's eyes, the way his siphons glowered dangerously in awaiting answer, "How do I know that this isn't some elaborate ruse to take her?"

Azriel stepped forward, voice low in warning, noticing Cassian's fists clench and his chest seethe with anger, "Our enemies have been hunting her, they wish to drain her power and unleash it on the world. We need to find her."

Helion's language shifted, he faced Cassian with equal fury, going toe to toe with the Lord of Bloodshed and bit, "If anything happens to my sister, I will end you."

"I will end myself before you ever could, now tell me where she is."

A wild wind bellowed through the open arches, enough for Helion to wince at the forceful impact. That wind swarmed through the palace, it was wild and cold, it was a warning from the world to run and hide. Helion fought against it toward the balcony, his locks whipping around in the tornado that had encased his court, his eyes focused on the forest in the distance and he pointed, "She's in there."

Then, from nowhere, bright thunderous light quaked from the sky as large spheres of sun fire raced past them and slammed into the ground below, where you were. The trees lurched with the impact, splintering and sprouting in differing directions, wailing at their demise, and the ocean dragged itself back to a safe distance. Fire rained from the sky, but the wind was too forceful for any of them to fly to you.

"RHYS!" Cassian bellowed to his brother, their eyes locked and he nodded, catching Cassian with a free hand with Azriel in the other, winnowing them to where they needed to be.

The scene was sickening. Trunks lay cracked and broken, simmering fire trickled along the earth that rumbled beneath their feet with each impact of fire that slammed against the ground. They couldn't see two feet in front of them let alone much else due to the heavenly light that emitted from you, but Cassian felt you, for the first time in what felt like centuries, he felt you.

Cassian felt your fury course down the bond, it was mixed with fear and guilt, and it lead them straight to you. In return, he threw all of his love down the bond as another sphere of your fire hurtled down through the sky, and he swore he could have heard you gasp and pause.

The light dimmed, and their eyes adjusted to see you in the clearing metres ahead from them, surrounded by bodies, some bloody and other burnt beyond recognition. A dagger was glued between your fingers and you let our a shaky exhale, like you didn't realise you had been holding your breath all that time.

The clearing looked more like a crater, a once plush area of wildlife that you sought comfort in was now a crater of ash and broken souls, and Cassian watched your cracked eyes survey your surroundings, hating what you had done.

Cassian rushed to you, slamming his body into yours and cradling you into his chest, "Are you alright?" He pulled away and cupped your face in his hands gingerly, wiping away the ash that had settled on your cheeks, "Speak to me, my love."

"I'm okay," your voice was hoarse and quiet, your eyes connected and he saw the tears pool in them along with the devastation that coursed through the bond, "I'm sorry. You were right-"

"Don't apologise," he told you, wiping away the tears that spilled down your ashen cheeks, leaving streaks of sunlight flowing down them, "I was wrong, so wrong. You don't need anyone to protect you, you aren't weak or jealous, you are strong and more capable of protecting yourself more than anyone I know. You are your greatest protector, not me. I'm so sorry, I was just trying to keep you tucked away and safe. But you've always meant to shine, I never should have tried to stop it."

"You were trying to keep me safe, Cass," your voice trailed off and you examined the scene, paying no notice to Rhys and Azriel at the edge of your crater, "What have I done?"

Cassian's fingers ran through your hair, "You did what you had to, alright? It's okay. If I hadn't pushed you away then none of this would have happened. I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry."

Your hands lay on his chest and you sighed, "Take me home, Cass. I can't be here."

Cassian had doted on you the moment you were back in his arms, he ordered Rhys to winnow you both back to your shared home whilst Azriel stayed to assure Helion that you were fine and in need of some much needed time with your mate.

The searing heat of the tub wound around your muscles and soothed the ache in your soul. The water was far too hot for Cassian to climb into, so he instead sat on the edge of the tub and washed your hair, picking apart the knots within it and allowed his large hands to unwind the bundled nerves in your shoulders.

When the water had gone cold, he lifted you from the tub and dried your limbs, he brushed your damp hair and dressed you in a thin nightgown, and not once did he stop apologising to you, not once did his lips stop peppering kisses along your shoulders and forehead.

You stood before him, needing much more than just sweet kisses and kind words.

"Tell me what you need," he had said when he saw the look in your eyes, one that radiated doubt but also desire.

Cassian stood still in front of you, his hands resting on your hips and you stood on your tiptoes to capture his lips in a searing kiss, one that he hummed into, allowing his hand to cradle the back of your head as he deepened it. Cassian had missed your lips too much.

Against his own building desire, Cassian gently pushed you backward, "My love, you're hurting," he didn't want to take advantage of your vulnerability in that moment.

"Do you love me?"

Cassian frowned, and let out a disbelieving scoff, "More than anything."

"Good," you pressed your lips to his again, pulling back slightly and peering at him through your lashes, "Because I need you to fuck me like you don't."

His cock twinged at the words and he closed his eyes, opening them to see you push the straps of your nightgown over your shoulders, revealing your peaked nipples to him as it fell down your body. Cassian knew why you needed it, you needed to feel something other than the pain of destroying one of your most sacred places, you needed him in the most passionate way possible.

"Are you sure?" Fire spread through him when you used his forearms as leverage to capture his lips on yours again, in a starving embrace, one that sent blood pooling to his cock that throbbed against his leathers in knowing that where it needed to be was only inches away.

Cassian walked you backwards until your legs hit the back of your bed and you lowered yourself onto the mattress. Fierce lust was laced within you, you propped you heels up on the frame and spread your legs to your mate, that feral animalistic need to be rutted filling the room illuminated by flickering candlelight.

Wasting no time, Cassian ripped his leathers from his body and fell to his knees before you, his muscles contracted in the golden hue of the room, he grasped your thighs and dragged you toward him, his warmth breath fanning over your core as he placed kisses down your stomach and in the creases of your thighs, making you suck in a shaky breath as he placed a final peck to the bundle of nerve that were aching for his tongue.

"I've missed the taste of you so much, my love," the movement of his lips on your skin made electricity course through you, the stubble of his beard scratching against your inner thighs.

Whining, your back arched when he drug his tongue up your slit, the groan emitting from his throat vibrating against you threatening to blind all of your senses. He smiled against your core, winding his tongue around your clit and sucking on the nerves, his fingers dug into your thighs to stop your squirming as his pace became relentless. Sucking, biting, and swirling his tongue in the ways he knew made you turn into a mewling mess, he pumped his cock in his hand to relieve the building pressure, to allow him to focus on you, his beautiful moaning mess of a mate completely at his mercy.

Cassian lapped up your taste, groaning in pleasure at it as he pumped his digits in you, pressing down on your stomach with his free hand to make that rough spot inside of you meet every brush of his touch. He noted the hitch of your breath and the way your fingers found his hair, pushing his face into your cunt, telling him how close you were from falling from grace. Cassian kept his pace, taking your throbbing clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue against it as his fingers hit that spot again and again until you were crying out his name and tensing around his fingers.

Your mate continued his tirade, pulling two more orgasms from your lips before his pace slowed and he removed his fingers from you. Humming, he sucked your juices from one of his fingers and then slid the other into your mouth as he hovered over you, his cock ready and weeping on your thigh.

He threw your clenched legs apart and nestled between them, "You can thank me tomorrow," he told you, no doubt alluding to the fact that your lips hadn't found his cock yet, "I just need you."

Without warning, he pushed into you, and his delicious cock stretched you out, you threw your head back and moaned, your fingers digging into his shoulders as he lowered himself and captured your lips hungrily against his own, transferring the taste of you to your tongue. He moved, slowly at first, and you met his hips in the rolling rhythm he had created, then he became more desperate and picked up his pace, biting and sucking at the skin on your neck, no doubt marking it for everyone to see once he would allow you out of your bed after fucking you on every surface possible.

Cassian groaned into the crook of your neck, his fingers held a bruising grip on your hip as he slammed into you, the tip of his cock smacking against that rough spot inside of you, "I love you, y/n. I love you so much," his brows were furrowed, like he knew how much force he was using and had to tell you how much he loved you just in case he was taking it too far.

Panting, you replied, "I love you too, Cass. I love you," you were cut off by your own moan, your hands flew above your head encased in his own, he gripped the sheets and snarled and he pulled out of you and flipped you over, pushing your head into the mattress and growling as the tip of his cock teased your entrance again, and you took it in it's entirety, groaning so deliciously that it took everything within Cassian to not explode at the sight of your ass bouncing on his cock.

Cassian bent down, his fingers delicately wrapped around your throat and pulled you upright, his fingers stayed there, restricting your oxygen in the best way imaginable as he pushed up into you, sucking and nibbling on your earlobes and neck between his own rough moans of pleasure.

As long as you had Cassian, there was nothing else you'd ever need to feel fulfilled. He was everything, your life and death, your shoulder to sob upon, your cock to cum on. Cassian was yours, his soul belonged to you just like every fibre of your existence hung onto him.

"Stay. Don't ever leave me again," his voice was full of emotion in your ear as he fucked you into the whispering depths of the ocean that was your bond.

Cassian's free hand twisted at your nipples before travelling downward, resting atop your stomach and pushing your hips backward to meet his relentless thrusts, and you felt the familiar pressure building there, holding on wasn't possible when his fingers travelling further, finding your clit and tracing slow circles into the nerves, smirking into your shoulder as high pitched cries flowed from your lips.

"I'll never leave you," you were breathless, and you hardly felt him pull out from you as he pushed you onto your back again, throwing your leg over his arm and pounding into you until he began to falter. His lips found your nipple again, sucking and biting on the sensitive nub of skin, and his fingers continued to flicker over your clit, "Cass, please. I'm going to-"

"So am I," he groaned, pressing his forehead to yours, "Cum for me, my love," Cassian pressed his lips to yours, capturing your orgasm in his mouth before releasing your lips to allow you to scream his name as that searing white heat consumed your entire body.

Cassian could have swore you began to glow as it consumed you, and you basked in that warmth, he basked in the clench of your walls quivering around his cock and milking him until there was nothing left to fill you with. Your mate fucked you through both of your highs, groaning your name and growling as he filled you, panting as he slowed his pace and lay on top of you.

In the comfortable silence, you found him staring at you with wonder, he hovered over you propped up on his elbows, tracing his fingers along your glistening skin, "What?"

Cassian smiled, "I want a baby," he admitted, "I can't stop myself from being scared about losing you, a part of me will always be terrified. But, what I can stop is myself holding back in the life I dream of with you," his hazel eyes scoured your face, and peace settled between you, "I want a product of us, of our love and strength. I want a family with you, a big family full of love and wonder and adventure where you have to tell me off after our fourth for wanting another," you giggled tearfully beneath him and he wiped a tear away with the pad of his thumb, "The idea of losing you is my greatest fear, y/n. I don't want anything to happen to us, and I don't want us to be left with nothing if-"

"Cass," you cooed to him, pulling him from the devastating thoughts in his mind, "I want all of that too, I want the picket fence and enough children to drive Az insane. Enough cousins for Nyx for them all to grow up in their own inner circle and replace us all one day. I want a life with you void of sadness. I want you, forever, even when our day comes to leave this reality, I will want you and I will guide you to the heavens so that we may live in an eternity of love waiting for everyone we adore to join us."

Cassian pulled you up the bed and encased you in his arms, draping a thin sheet over your forms and running his fingers through your hair whilst you kissed his chest softly, "You found me in darkness and we made our own light. We burn brighter than anything that may await us," he kissed your forehead and gazed into your eyes, a smirk worked its way onto his face, "The sun has nothing on you, you know."

Authors Note

Daddy Casssss

Hope you love it! x

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