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dazednmatthews · 17 hours

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always, i’ll care~ number neighbor!matt x reader part fourteen point five

i know that this doesn’t seem like an important part but it is!!!! the song for this chap is perfectttt. y/n is jus like me fr yall gotta get off her. her lore is avoidant attachment and commitment issues like she’s jus a girl!!!

part 15 and 16 thursday night <3 i decided to write something really long and special for the last chapter so 17 will be up friday or saturday at the latest. and then we’re done 🥹 soooo crazy boots. love u all always.

the hum of y/n’s AC unit is killing her into a dissociative state. she’s been staring at the countertop in front of her for what feels like hours, unmoving.

it’s been about a week of no contact with matt. a week since she ripped her own heart out of her chest and squashed it in to the sidewalk between them. she stares at their messages often, rereading the texts with muted emotion. she wants to text him, she always fucking does, but she just can’t.

there’s a burning in her eyes because she doesn’t know the last time she blinked, but she doesn’t care. she doesn’t even know why she’s so hellbent on running away. sure she’d been hurt before and that was a concern, but she knew matt was different. she could feel it.

and maybe that’s what made it so hard. she knew that they could be real and good and right. it’s enough to freak her out all over again.

the clattering of her ice maker snaps her out of the stupor, blinking furiously as she comes to. her apartment seemed too small, too condensed. it didn’t help that she now knew what it was like to have matt here, flashes of that night bleeding into the memory of every space in there. from the living room to the bathroom to her fucking bed, he was everywhere.

don’t even get her started on the pictures she has in her phone. the ones of matt over facetime, the ones of them smiling at each other in face masks, even the ones from the day they met, doing dumb shit. it all serves as a vile reminder that she fell into the same grueling self sabotage she thought she’d healed from.

the tears are pricking her eyes painfully, and the words from a week ago are reverberating unforgivingly in her head. “whenever you’re ready, whenever you want to stop hiding, i’ll be here, y/n.”

she wants to be ready, wants to to stop being so fucking avoidant. she knows that the longer she takes, the more matt will be hurt, and that’s the last thing she ever wanted to purposefully do.

the truth is, y/n doesn’t want to be dispensable. this whole thing with matt started because of her. her boredom, her interest, her persistence. she’s always felt like matt has had the upper hand. he could walk away so easily, at any time, and that fucking terrified her. especially now, with all the feelings she has for him and the way he’s pretty much become the most important person in her world. she hated that, being out of control. so she had to get it back somehow. it just so happened that somehow included breaking her own heart, anyway.

when she finally walks away from the spot she’d been standing her phone rings. the terror and excitement that she feels in that moment make her hands shake, but when she looks at the caller ID, she sees it’s her best friend. she doesn’t know whether be more relieved or disappointed.

“hey,” she says quietly. she’s tired, has been for days.

“what the hell is wrong with you?” it comes from love, so y/n just sighs.

“not now, daria.”

“um, fuck that.” she can hear shuffling from the other end. “you’ve been moping for a week. you still haven’t texted him?”

y/n feels her heart squeeze at the question. “i don’t know what to say.”

“bullshit.”

she tries again. “i don’t want to hurt him.”

“bullshit.”

“i’m not ready.”

daria scoffs a laugh, like her friend just said the funniest thing in the world. “can you guess what i’m gonna say next?”

y/n rubs at her eyes. “bullshit.” she mumbles.

“exactly.” there’s a pause in her words, and y/n can hear what sounds like the washer in the background. “you’re in love with that man, y/n. you’ve talked every day for like what? three months now?”

“four.”

“oh my bad,” the sarcasm makes y/n smile the tiniest bit. “four months. and you talk about him constantly. i literally know basically everything about him too.”

“i know, but-“ she tries to interject but daria is having none of that.

“no buts. what are you afraid of?”

y/n is stumped. not because she doesn’t know the answer, but because she does. “what if i go all in and he decides that this isn’t what he wants? or i fucking tell him how i feel and he fucks me over?”

there’s a pause. and then, “you’ve gotta be the dumbest bitch i’ve ever met.”

“oh, okay.” y/n blinks.

“i love you, very dearly. like immensely. but the only person in this relationship that has given any feelings of doubt or uncertainty is you.” it quite literally feels like a shock goes through her entire body as her best friend continues. “you quite literally told the man that it was never that serious and that he needed to relax. meanwhile, he basically confessed his love for you.”

she feels herself cringe at the reminder of her matt’s last conversation. from the look on his face to the way that she felt. it’s probably her biggest regret, maybe ever, because all she did was say a bunch of words she didn’t mean. bullshit, as daria would say.

“please don’t fucking remind me.”

“you need to be reminded. constantly, actually.” y/n rolls her eyes at her friends brashness. “you’ve got to get out of your head, y/n. you and matt are clearly made for each other. you clearly care about him, and he’s obviously obsessed with you. getting hurt is scary, it fucking sucks, but that’s just apart of life.”

“the way i see it, you have two options. either you keep being a coward in fear that something bad could possibly happen, ruining something potentially amazing before it starts, or you fucking nut up and let yourself feel without restrictions. be open to his feelings, be open to all the possibilities and be open to yourself.”

you know that moment when you finally find that post you’d been searching for? or when you finally remember the name of a song that was stuck in your head? that feeling is exactly what y/n feels in that moment. like the connection between her head and her heart is finally, finally growing back.

“i hate when you make sense. it pisses me off.” y/n says through a tear or two, because feelings are fucking scary. “i love you.”

daria laughs and her voice is kind. “i love you, too. now stop wallowing and go get your man.”

y/n can feel something close to hope filling her. the wheels turning in her head are telling her that she knows exactly what she has to do. “yeah, i think i will.”

TAGLIST:

@cottoncandyswisherz @peachmels @sugrhigh @tastesousweet @hollandsangel @sturnolio-luvs @55sturn @chrryclouds @mattsobvimyfav @misscocodiorsblog @pepsiboyy @braindead4l @mxqdii @fawnchives @hearts4chriss @certifiednatelover @nmegamett20 @imaslut4kehlani @dominicfikue @wovenribbons @streamermattsgf @pr1ncessmatt @pinksturniolo @yourfavoritefangirl @nickmillersn1gf @freshxsturniolo @sturniolobltch @mattspolitank @lookingformyromeo @alorsxsturn @imwetforyourmom @kiarastromboli @sleepysturnss @mattscoquette @sturncakez @inkyray @simply-a-simper @lanas-doll @wh0resstuff @hypnotizedsturn @riowritesitall @kitaysworld @h3arts4harry @fikefries @conspiracy-ash @matty-bear @always-reading @thehighgrounds @unbruisable @ribread03

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ballroomfitz · 8 months

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This song makes me SICK it makes me UNWELL r/pos

#my stuff #music #noel gallagher #hearing this song live healed something in me #damnit noel #you still got it #Spotify

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whoneedsgenderanyway · 1 year

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going to a bears in trees concert is something that can actually be so healing

#bears in trees #music #i am unwell but it's ok because i have my silly little songs #have not yet recovered from hearing cut corners on short walks live #i have not shut up about it #bears in trees music in general is something that is just so healing to me

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tisthedamngoldrush · 10 months

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Putting this out into the ether because I’m begging:

San Jose Night 2 (Saturday):

Mary’s Song

DWOHT

Closure

Invisible (I know, I know, okay?)

#hearing Mary’s Song live would heal something in me I think #but honestly any of them #please #🥹#taylor swift #taylurking #no one is going to see this #long live #also #i don’t think there’s a song I wouldn’t want her to play

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harmoonix · 7 months

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⚜️Eternal Flower⚜️

• Astrology Observations •

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀❀

⚜️ - Chiron square/opposition/conjunct North Node = Your path is healing one, this aspect can indicate frustrations that may disturb you from finding inner peace

⚜️ - Jupiter square/opposite/conjunct Saturn = They have a fight between freedom and responsibility, it can be very frustrating for them to choose one of those 2, they can feel locked up in their own world

⚜️ - Jupiter square/opposite Sun can make the native to miss great opportunities, in this case your ego can be very big with those aspects. Your ego can make you lose a lot of opportunities

⚜️ - Neptune trine/sextile/conjunct Moon are really great at listening to their intuition, you can have a powerful inner voice with this aspect

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁

⚜️ - North Node in Aries/North Node in 1st house, please make yourself a favor and put yourself one the first place in your life, you'll see things change. You gotta live for yourself, everyone once in a while..

⚜️ - Lilith aspecting Jupiter are so crazy and wild when they are horny. With this aspect Jupiter expands your libido. Another session of breaking bed??

⚜️ - North Node in Libra/Leo you really need to love yourself dear, loving yourself can be complicated for some people but is not impossible

⚜️ - Lilith in Leo Degrees (5°, 17°. 29°) degrees can have have feline typo of face. Like cat eyes maybe? Maybe yellowish/tanned skin? Also wear orange and yellow it will help you

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀✾❀

⚜️ - Venus in the 9th house/Venus in Sagittarius/Venus in Sagittarius Degrees (9°, 21°) always remember me about hearing a tropical song party, they have that tropical flow 💃

⚜️ - Sun in the 9th house/Sun in Sagittarius/Sun in Sagittarius Degrees (9°, 21°) did ever happened for people to confuse your ethnicity or the country where you are from? Yeah with these placements can give this vibe

⚜️ - Taurus/Libra Moons they are my Romeo and Juliet and no can change that, they often have this vibe because of their romantic aura (Taurus about finding love in herself and Libra finding love in the others this is literally everything)

⚜️ - Pisces/Cancer Sun/Venus/Mercury = They are the people who can have the most cutest voices ever. They also have an adorable face

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁

⚜️ - Moon - trine/sextile/conjunct Pluto = You can fall in love with them at the first sight. They are full of mystery and charm, is something like 'I love you since I first met you' with them

⚜️ - Pluto in the 1st/10th/11th house they literally attract envy everywhere they go. They are the reason why the haters can't sleep at night

⚜️ - Chiron in Aquarius/Chiron in the 11th house may find comfort in their friends. They can be really lonely people but with heart of gold

⚜️ - Lilith aspecting ascendant= misterious appearance, they are so full of mystery and secrets, people can be so curious of them

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁

⚜️ - Sun - Mercury aspects have that cute/shy voice, they may talk softly and so calm in the same time, literally so charming

⚜️ - Libra/Leo Risings have that beautiful shinning hair, literally go girl spin your hair around. Rapunzel Vibes

⚜️ - Don't be afraid for challenges when you have Aries/Sagittarius placements with you. They can take it all and risk everything for the adrenaline

⚜️ - Venus - Mercury aspect in someone's chart can be the type of native who may like to write love poems/letters and even songs sometimes

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁

✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀᠁✾❀✾

💫 Good day to everyone reading my notes today… It's a great day to follow your dreams and to let every negative energy out of your body 💫

💫 Have a blessed day today 💫

- Yours truly, Harmoonix 💫

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leqonsluv3r · 2 months

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valentine’s day

—leon finally starts to heal after he meets you in a grocery store, a blurb

masterlist taglist

an: i’ve had this idea in my head since i went to the LANY concert a month ago and heard this song live. i have not been the same person since, this drabble/blurb is dedicated to this song and leon. it’s a lot longer then i intended and i apologize lol

leon wasn’t one to heal easy.

not from his past, not from the missions when he saw more gore and blood then he wanted to. not when he had gagged every time he saw blood from that point foreword.

he was still healing when he walked into a grocery store about four months after his last mission. he was still healing when he grabbed one of those stupid baskets to carry your groceries in through the store.

he grabbed a couple bottles of alcohol, some snacks and some soap. essentials, things he needs. because sleeping without alcohol now is…it’s a lot harder then it used to be. just nightmares and images of bloodshed — he just says fuck it. he gets what he needs, what he wants and he goes up to the front of the store to pay.

what he doesn’t understand, when he sees you for the first time, is why your working in a grocery store of all places. your too beautiful for that, you should be doing something better, something worthy of your time. he doesn’t know a single thing about you yet and he’s willing to draw that conclusion.

you smile kindly at people from behind your register, your voice is kind and sweet. it draws something within him like a magnet, his heart is pounding, he’s going to explode or something. he used to be so good at talking to women but it’s declined as the years have gone by. he’s gotten tired, he just didn’t care like he used to.

he awkwardly sits his basket down on the conveyor belt of the register, you catch his eye and smile a little and it fucking does something to him. he knows he’s screwed beyond relief at that point. he smiles back, or tries to. he’s out of practice on that to, can’t remember the last time he’s smiled.

“this all for you?” you say softly, your eyes scanning over the bottles of alcohol, the snacks and the bottle of soap. he nods and chuckles a little, low and deep, just like his voice. “yeah, that’s all…” he grabs his wallet out of his back pocket of his jeans.

he wish he could say something better, something more positive and just something to grab your attention. he searches his brain as you tell him the total and he hands you the card. but he doesn’t have to say anything, you speak first.

“leon? that’s…you have a nice name.” you say and it snaps him out of his brain, he blinks those devastating blue eyes. ones that were once full of life, he nods. “my mom gave it to me.” he jokes lamely, or at least he thinks it’s lame until he hears your small little giggle.

he feels his heart beat with more confidence and energy now, like his one effort at making you smile is good enough. making you laugh is worth enough. you hand him his card back and put the receipt in the shopping bag, telling him to have a great day. not a nice day like you did with the others, but a great day. like you could tell he needed to hear that.

he walks out of the grocery store with the biggest, stupidest smile on his face. one that he has been a stranger to for months. he has you to thank for that.

the weeks that followed he came back to the grocery store, once maybe sometimes three times a week if he wasn’t sent off on a mission. he almost can’t help himself, he likes talking to you when your there.

you make him feel something he hadn’t felt in such a long time. it’s almost ridiculous, but he can’t help himself, it’s like an addiction. but it doesn’t involve him waking up with a hangover.

he keeps coming, week after week and buying things from the grocery store just to talk to you, just to see your sweet face. just to give him some kind of ray of sunshine that casts his whole body in a warm glow. making his heart beat faster.

but today was different, he was going to ask you out today. he was going to do it, he couldn’t be scared anymore. he couldn’t let you pass by anymore like something rare and just ignore you.

you were something to him. even if you didn’t even know that yet.

he walked up, carrying the same five things he always grabbed. his heart was pounding wildly, he was so out of practice but he just had to get out there and do it. just give himself something, he would hope you would say yes.

he put the items on the conveyor belt and waited until it was his turn, you finished checking out the customer in front of him and then turned to look at him. “hi stranger, haven’t seen you in awhile.” you say with a small frown, it’s adorable, it makes his heart melt.

he chuckles and shakes his head, “didn’t know you missed me.” he muses as he watches you start scanning his stuff. slowly and methodically almost as if you wanted this interaction to last longer too.

you sigh and shake your head, “of course i did, your my favorite customer.” you say with a small smile, and if he wasn’t looking so intently at you, he wouldn’t have noticed the subtle blush on your cheeks.

“i better be. goodness knows i give you guys enough business.” he chuckles playfully and flashes you a grin, almost as bright as the sun. he didn’t know where he was willing this confidence from, maybe it’s because he needed you. he needed you to at least attempt to be with him. you were the first light he has had in his life in a long time.

you scan his last item and he realizes it’s now or never, “26.73” you say as you lay out your hand for the card so he can pay. he reaches into his wallet and gives it to you, your fingers brush against each other. he wills himself to do it, to just do it now.

“uhm, i actually…i have a question for you.” he says with a small tremble of his hands, keeping his eyes on you to gauge your reaction behind the register. you look back up at him, swiping his card. “yeah?” you say and he could swear there’s almost hopefulness in your voice.

he swallows all the nerves down and attempts to keep himself calm enough to get this out, he can’t screw this up. he cannot screw you up, he would never forgive himself if he did.

“do you want to go out with me? like on a date?” he says and it’s so weird, the words feel foreign as they slipped from his mouth. usually women used to flock to him, but they didn’t anymore. his confidence with women had slipped right along with him trying to be sober all the time.

you blinked at him, holding onto his card in your small but intricate fingers. you seem to be thinking it over, weighing your options. he feels like the rejection is going to slip out of your lips at any given moment and he’s preparing himself for it.

then eventually, you respond, “i’d love to.”

now, it’s his turn to gawk and blink at you, almost perplexed that you are actually saying yes, accepting him and accepting this date. he can’t help the smile on his face, it’s almost stupid. you hand him the card and his brain goes on autopilot. you hand him the bag of his stuff, he grabs it and goes to walk away.

until, “wait! you forgot your receipt!” you yell behind him, holding up a slip of paper and waving it. he turns around and walks back to the register, his brows furrowed. you never gave him a receipt, he grabs the slip of paper from your fingers. he reads it over with confusion until he sees your number at the bottom, your hand writing and scribbles drawn with a little heart next to it.

he smiles, another genuine one that only you could conjure onto his face. “text me, we can set up a date.” you say to him, nodding towards the receipt. you look just as giddy as he feels inside. he nods, “absolutely. will do.”

he texts you the minute he gets home. and you respond. the texts keep going between you two until you both eventually settle on a date to go out. your both feeling like love-struck teenagers, so entranced with each other it’s almost borderline disgusting.

the week after you set the date passes and neither of you can hardly wait. you both have your reasons for being nervous, you both have that joy when you see each other but it shines in a different way. especially when he picks you up for your guy’s date.

you look stunning. stunning doesn’t even begin to cover it for him. you look like if heaven was a person, like an angel. that’s good enough reason for him to not let his blue eyes break from you all night.

and they don’t, they don’t ever break. not one second, he keeps his gaze on you at dinner, when your both talking and flirting aimlessly with each other. to leon, it feels good to have that someone; even if they don’t know it yet. that lights up their world and just makes it so much better.

he doesn’t break his gaze when you two walk by the lake, showing him all the birds and where they nest when winter comes closer. he admires the way you talk about small things, things that other people wouldn’t normally talk about or care about for that matter. but you took time, every week, to come feed the ducks and birds at this lake.

and he doesn’t break his gaze when he walks you back to your place, low intimate whispers that turn into slow kisses and touches. it doesn’t turn frantic, it just stays slow and gentle. it’s loving and it almost wants to make leon cry, because you care so much, this kiss just proves it.

because for the first time in a long time, you make him feel cared for. you make him feel wanted and it’s so much to him that he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

he wants you forever, he wants you as long as you let him have you. and he’s always going to take care of you, just like you’ve unknowingly taken care of him. taken the sadness away from him by just being in his life.

three months later, you and leon were dating.

you guys were the happiest people, it seemed you brought leon back from the edge. he opened up and you learned all you could about him. he got to learn more about you. and you both loved the idea of having that one confidant in each other.

the one you would have when you were sad, scared, angry, frustrated, etc. everything made sense with the two of you together. and you guys found that one piece that was missing within each of you. you guys were happy, leon was smiling a lot more then he usually did.

he didn’t drink his days away anymore, he didn’t come back from missions to an empty apartment and he didn’t have nightmares. it was still there but you dulled the ache, you filled that dark hole inside of him that had been gone for so long.

you made him happier, you made him recognize the man in the mirror again with your love. your love and everything about you made him better. he was better for you.

you had each other to soothe the gaps and ridges of your guys souls that were jagged. you had that thing that he was searching for, that he’d been missing for so long.

he loved you.

and nothing was ever going to change that.

an: i love you guys sm :,) thank you guys for reading my stuff and engaging. i was so worried when i started writing on tumblr that it wasn’t going to take. that no one would like my writing and i was wrong. you guys have given me so much support in liking my fics. it makes me so happy to have that support. it keeps me going. i love you all, i’ll be posting a one shot soon, keep up on my requests. pls reblog if you enjoyed, you guys know the drill. kisses, xx.

taglist: @elihii @heartsforvin @argreion @sqiim (to join the taglist DM me or interact with my link at the beginning)

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icanseethefuture333 · 4 months

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PAC: What your pretty self needs to hear for Valentine's Day ♡

Your heart's message to you + a message from your secret admirer 💌

They say the truth ain't pretty, but coming from that pretty mouth

The truth is fitting, cause you ain't ever talkin' loud

And you know plenty

Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about

Cause you just get me

Yeah, you so pretty... ♡

Pile 1:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Girl by Destiny's Child

Far by SZA

I MISS YOU SO BAD by iKON

The Lovers, Seven of Cups, & Three of Cups

So what your heart wishes to tell to you is that there is still love out there. You may have previously gotten over an ex, a past crush, or you are in the process of recovering from a break up. In the song "Far" SZA asks Sadhguru how to deal with rejection, in which he responds, "That's great! If nobody wants you then you're free." You have to look on the bright side of things. You also have to know what your worth is. No one else can define your worth but you. You have to be secure with who you are as a person. No one can love the parts you need to heal from. Once you feel fulfilled with who you are as a person. That is when you can form healthy connection with others. I believe you still are hoping for you and this person to get back together but you are hurting yourself even more by obsessing over this person (was going to say focus but instead I heard obsess). Reflect on your current situation and ask yourself, "What wound is this person triggering in me?". What do you need to move on from? To take care of your heart you should do some self reflection. Journaling and shadow work would help provide some clarity. Your heart asks you to not fall back into old habits. Self love is important for your growth, pile 1!

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Time To Love by Red Velvet

Changes by Jeff Bernat

I Think I'm Falling by KOHH

Wallflower, New Love, & Union

There is a new love coming in for you! This person could be shy and likes to admire you from afar. They could be self conscious about some things about themselves as well. The feelings seem to be mutual here. There could be a new crush that you like and wish to speak to, but are to nervous to ask them out of fear of rejection. Don't fret! Confessing your feelings helps build courage. If the person rejects you, then that just means there isnsomeone else better out there for you. It is not the end of the world just because you got rejected. Have a little more confidence in yourself, you are great, pile 1! Regardless, I see you and this secret admirer actually being intimate. Things could develop into something more serious with this union card. So make sure to be open to this energy and give them a chance at love ♡

Pile 2:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Mine by Slayyyter

ANTIFRAGILE by LE SSERAFIM

Post To Be by Omarion ft. Chris Brown & Jhené Aiko

Four of Cups, Eight of Wands, & The Fool

Your heart does not want to be tied down at the moment! I believe it has plenty of love to give lol. You also have no problem with turning people down or vice versa. You are looking for a fling and just wish to have a casual relationship! You could have a lot of options in love and would like to explore things romantically, maybe even sexually. Your heart suggests that you focus on your happiness and learn what pleases you. Love does not always have to be serious. Sometimes short lived romances have the best stories to tell! You will be feeling very confident and sexy in your romantic endeavors.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Boys Wanna Be Her by Peaches

No Flex Zone by Rae Sremmurd

STUCK IN MY HEAD by Twice

Open Relationship, Mature Woman, & Fun Times

This secret admirer of yours is honestly hilarious 😭. I kept getting meme songs and I hs to shuffle again to get a proper message. This could be my queer pile as well 🏳️‍🌈. I'm getting Renee Rapp vibes from your secret admirer, Pile 2 😋. They could suit the 'girl crush' aesthetic or if it is someone who identifies as masculine, they have a very pretty face. They are open minded, flirtatious, and exciting to be around. This person wishes to tell you that you are stuck in their head! They find you to be "so fine" 😜! They would like take you out soon. I'm getting it will be a bar date or they will take you dancing at a night club.

Pile 3:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

More Than Enough by Alina Baraz

Bluffin by Brent Faiyaz

Mona Lisa by Naji ft. Monter Booker

Death, Six of Swords, & Six of Pentacles

Oh, pile 3, bless your heart 🥹. You are someone who has such a kind, gentle heart. You have the purest intentions and for that people can tell how geniune you are as a person. You could be selfless and caring towards others. You have so much love to give that it is obvious to others. I don't see any bitterness in your heart and I feel like your heart wishes to tell you how proud it is of you for being able to find forgiveness. You are leaning to let go of the people who have hurt you in the past. The essence of your spirit is so soft and it's very beautiful to witness. Your heart's message to you is that anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. So don't ever feel like you are not enough because you're more than that. You are this cup that is overflowing with love and sincerity.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

At Your Best (You Are Loved) by Aaliyah

Freaky Deaky by Tyga ft. Doja Cat

LOVE by Kendrick Lamar ft. Zacari

Dating, True Love, & True Gem

Your secret admirer absolutely adores you, pile 3. They see your value as a person and they know that there is no one else like you in this world. You have so much love to give and they do as well. I am getting that they want to literally treat you like a princess/princess - just overall royalty. Their have geniune intentions as well and they would like to spoil you this Valentine's day ❤. (Channeled song: Kiss It Better by Rihanna 💋) for a few of you, you and your specific person could be separated. I see that things will turn out for the better soon. So have faith in yourself and in this person for things to work out. They could offer you some sort of proposal, love offer, or a token of their gratitude to show how much they love you. I see things would be passionate, flirty, and romantic for you and your secret admirer 🎆.

Pile 4:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Green Light by Beyoncé

Standing Next To You by Jungkook

God of Music by SEVENTEEN

Two of Pentacles, Page of Wands, & The Magician

You are such an optimistic person, pile 4! You could be someone who often gives advice to others and help others look on the bright side of things. You radiate such positive energy and it makes you a joy to be around. You could be someone who knows what they want and goes after it. You know how to balance your heart with your brain. Intuitive but also logical. People wonder how you are able to turn your ideas into reality. Your heart's message to you is to keep going after your goals and not let anyone distract you from your dreams. As long as you are happy that is all that matters. Your heart also wishes to tell you that whatever makes you light up inside is meant for you. Whatever your heart is set on whether that's a new job, house, etc. You have the ability to manifest whatever you desire.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Phone Me by Che Ecru

Novacane by Frank Ocean

Own It by Drake

Passion, Friendship, & Communication

For some of you, you could be currently in a "situationship" or have a FWB with someone. While for others, your secret admirer is possibly a friend of yours. This person is conflicted on how to approach you. You may receive a text or phone call from them soon where they ask you about your relationship with another. They could ask you how you feel about them or drop hints that they are attracted to you. The ball is in your park, pile 4, if you decide to be more than just friends with this person.

Pile 5:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Girl Like Me by Alexa Demie

Fulfillment? By Kilo Kish

Baddie by IVE

Eight of Cups, Two of Cups, & Seven of Swords

I am getting like "manic pixie dream girl" vibes from you, Pile 2. Something about you is hard to pin point to others. Mysterious but also so enchanting. You know you are someone who is complex but also so beautiful. You have these interesting quirks that makes you stand out and memorable to others. You are comfortable with who you as a person and it could have took you a long time to get to a place of being this self assured. You could have a child like wonder as well and it is admirable to others. You could be questioning what direction to take in life and could find "adulting" very hard but don't give up, pile 5! Everything will be okay in the end. Your heart's message to you is to learn what gives you emotional fulfillment in life. Also to not take shit from no one. What's interesting is your face could look quite sweet but you are actually feisty and have a firey spirit. There is a duality to your personality and its attractive. I am getting like Song Jia, Alexa Demie, Wonyoung, & Taylor Russell vibes from you, pile 5. Your heart wants you to embrace your confidence and focus on the abundance in your future. Do not let people drag you down and dim your light. Your heart believes it is time for some self pampering. Set your standards high in love and know that you are deserving of everything you desire. I also believe it is time to burn bridges with people who no longer serve you. How can you live the life of your dreams if other people only acknowledge the version of yourself that no longer resonates with you? If you wish to be the girl of your dreams, you have to learn to put yourself first.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Lilith by Halsey

Ditto by NewJeans

High Fashion by Roddy Rich ft. Mustard

Triangle, Travel, & Spiritual Growth

What is this Single's Inferno?! You have options, pile 5. You could have more than one secret admirer. You could be observing your current options in love and feeling "Well! Let the best person win☺️!" I see people wanting to fly you out and pay for your trips, oh my🫠. One of the people you will date could be popular or have a well known social status. You give people butterflies and some of you may know what affect you have on people, while some of you are innocent to the fact. You could receive love confessions or you may even already have. I feel like you are the type of person who receives love letters, jewelry, candies, and box of chocolates, if not you are going to be spoiled for this Valentine's day! You could meet your secret admirer(s) while traveling or when going on vacation. Your secret admirer's message to you is that they "like you" and hoping you feel the same 💕. They want to understand your love language and words of affirmations / gift giving could be one of their love languages in particular.

Pile 6:

Your heart's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Rose by Miyeon

Honey Dew by Lion Babe

Chanel by TiaCorine

King of Pentacles, Five of Wands, & Queen of Cups

I feel like you are at odds with your heart and brain right now, pile 6. You seem to feel confused about a decision you have to make. I believe you could think things are "sweeter" in other people's lives but that is not necessarily true. I know sometimes we can want what other people have but if it gets to the point of comparing yourselves to others then its not healthy. You have to remember to be grateful for what you have in life. It's okay to want the finer things, but what are you overlooking when you are doing that? Your heart's message to you is to not worry about what other people are doing in life and instead focus on what makes you great of a person. You are just as lovable, sweet, and beautiful.

Your secret admirer's message to you:

Shufflemancy -

Congratulations by Mac Miller ft. Bilal

Little Things by Sunni Colón

Aura by Mariah The Scientist

Work, Money, & Long Distance

I believe you and this person are already in a relationship. If not, your secret admirer will be the next person you end up in a romantic relationship with. This person could live further away from you and has a high paying job. They prefer to take on a traditional role of a provider. This person could have a hard time discussing their feelings though and shows their love through acts of services. While you, I feel you are more of an emotional person. You both could have a hard time expressing your feelings and thoughts properly to each other, which would cause conflict. Things might be tense for Valentine's Day. You and your secret admirer could have strong feelings for each other, but there needs to be an important conversation had in order for this relationship to progress. Both of you could be disheartened by this but there's hope! Try to appreciate the little things in your relationship and not focus on being the "perfect couple", for that does not exist. Every relationship has its flaws and all that matters is that you and you partner love each other very much. If it's meant to be, it will be, it won't be something you have to force, it'll come naturally.

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clairegregoryau · 7 months

Text

Through the Looking Glass

From fairytale in Season 1 to stark reality in Season 2 of Our Flag Means Death- meta ported across from this Twitter thread by popular demand!

This thread contains spoilers for the entirety of OFMD Season 2

First OFMD S1 rewatch since S2, and holy shit, if you haven't done that yet... do that. A thing that it made instantly clear: they told us *all along* where this was going, but there was a reason we didn't see it. Because we were living in Stede's world then. Now it's Ed's.

I know that a lot of us have felt that the tone shift at the end of S2 was... jarring, compared to what's come before. This felt like a show that wouldn't go there. One where being run through was a temporary hiccup. We've travelled all the way from this to this.

But we haven't jumped there without a journey in between. And from the minute we started hearing about Blackbeard, the show never tried to hide what Ed's world and his specific life was like. Not once. In fact they told us over and over and over.

But Season 1 told us a lot of those things through song and story and fuckery. It blended reality with fiction.

Stede met the Blackbeard he knew through books and tall tales, and the real man was even more wonderful than he'd imagined.

We, along with Stede, were comfortable thinking that all those other tales were exaggerations and misrepresentations, and a lot of them very likely were.

The Ed Stede got to know was a person who was capable of whimsy and silliness and loved soft things and doing something weird. Yep, he was also capable of violence and rage, but when he was with Stede, he didn't feel it so much.

This was a vacation from that life.

To Stede he was absolutely lovely... oh, and also a bloodthirsty killer. And Stede loved (and loves) everything about him, and both of those things can be true. This is a perfect example of a spot where (in watching Season 1 without the benefit of hindsight) I assumed that everyone else in that pub was wrong, and Stede was simply trying to protect Ed's fearsome reputation by agreeing on the bloodthirsty bits. And I think from Stede's perspective that was largely true. I think that's how they wanted us to see Ed, through his eyes. Now, after watching both seasons, I think it wasn't the whole picture.

They told us, we heard it, we saw glimpses of it. But we (and Ed) were in Stede's run-away-to-sea fairytale the whole time. It wasn't until Stede left that we saw the reality- the Ed we knew had been, to a degree, a fictional character all along. I always saw this scene as Ed putting a bit of distance between himself and reality; it always felt like the Blackbeard of Stede's storybooks was the fictional one. But now it feels like the softer Ed that Stede knew was much the same- neither of them the whole story of who Ed was and is.

The one person who refused to live in Stede's fairytale was Izzy. I've seen people say it before, but he always gave off that vibe of the only human in the Muppets movie, or the guy who was in Black Sails while everyone else was in Pirates of the Caribbean. He saw the real risks clearly.

And in that light, the end of S1 has shifted an inch to the left for me, and I'm seeing it at a slightly different angle.

Izzy ripped away the healing Ed was doing, but in some respects he did it by tearing away the fairytale we'd all been living in, shoving Ed back into the Blackbeard story.

And that's where we pick up again in Season 2.

The fairytale reference came back in S2 in two notable places, those being Jim carrying that legacy forward in the darkest times, and in Izzy invoking the wooden boy against Ricky's efforts. Stede's made himself into a real boy. Ricky, nope.

Now that I've watched both seasons together, the tone shift doesn't feel so jarring at all, actually.

It feels like sliding through the looking glass, out of Stede's world, and into Ed's- a world that existed all along; we were just seeing it, la vie en rose, through Stede's eyes.

At the beginning of S2, Stede's gone, and we're seeing it unfiltered through Ed's reality.

But Stede wasn't lying when he said he loved everything about Ed. He made a promise to come back and find him- he went down into Ed's darkest place and reminded him that no matter how bad things got, there WAS someone waiting for him, ready to love him.

The contrast between S1's fantasy and S2's reality (excluding mermaids and actual bird guys and cursed coats) is stark, but it really is that.

We have the same settings, the same people, and very different ideas and outcomes at different times.

But it was always there.

Things do come back to a state of (precarious) balance once they're all together. Apologies are made, whether they're spoken out loud or through actions. Things go right, things go wrong. Healing happens. Izzy continues to have the steadiest, most real through-line in the story as he tracks toward redemption, finds acceptance, and to an extent finds himself.

Once again, I hate that they went here with the ending and I wish they hadn't. But it got a fraction easier for me looking at it not as a continuation of Stede's fairytale, but of the grounded-in-pirate-reality arc Izzy was always on, even while we lived in Stede's world.

Where does that leave us? We're not going back to the fairytale, but we're not going to be living in Black Sails for S3, either. We've hit a fusion point where S1 ended with each of them going to separate, miserable homes, but S2 ended with them in the same place, ready and willing to make a go of it.

Season 3 is going to give us their world, together.

I LOVED the moments in this season where the deep emotions were in balance with the silliness I've always adored about this show. Eps4-6 were wonderful like that. Clearly we're not done with drama, either, but like Ed and Stede, I think we'll find a middle ground.

Anyway in conclusion, a rewatch of S1 after S2 somehow made me love the first season even more, which felt impossible? It's now gained /even more/ layers of depth than it had before. No matter how you feel about S2 I think it's worth that rewatch.

Adding one more bit of clarity for myself: I think we got a bit (intentionally) seduced in S1 by the idea that the Ed of the storybooks, the Vampire Viking Clown with the nine guns, was a version of him that others saw, when Stede saw the REAL person who 'worked' for Blackbeard.

In hindsight I think it's clear the Ed Stede go to know was also not the complete version of himself- the reality is, there's a whole spectrum between the two, and they've landed in the middle of it now. Ed intentionally leaned into the unlovable Kraken image to protect himself.

It very much didn't work, just like being just... Edward hadn't worked to protect himself, either. This season has been very much about pulling those two extremes together and finding all the parts that make up Ed overall (another thread on that here on Twitter, which I'll also shift across to Tumblr soon!)

And I think one of my favourite things in S2 has been seeing the way Stede SEES that- he knows what Ed's done, everyone's told him, but he still loves Ed. sees his trauma and how it affects him, and believes he's a good man regardless. He IS lovable; he's not forever broken.

And together, they can heal.

#ofmd #our flag means death #gay pirates #ofmd meta #unreliable narrators #fantasy vs reality #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers

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thatfreshi · 9 months

Text

Out of Love (Astarion x reader)

Tw - death, vomiting, assisted suicide, sickness

Recommended Song: Past Hound - Adam Melchor

A couple of moons ago, you came down with a horrific illness. You and Astarion both don't know why, or how. You suspect foul play. After all, you didn't always make friends on your journeys. You wonder if perhaps you were poisoned, someone slipped something into a drink at the bar, changing the course of your life forever. The first month was like a bad flu, high fever, vomiting almost every day, barely able to eat. Over time though, your body started to ache. Astarion knew it was getting bad when you fell in the kitchen, breaking one of his favorite glasses. At first he was enraged, so angry that you could be so careless with one of his prized posessions. Then, he turned the corner and saw you lying on the floor, and quickly reverted his previous sentiments.

You don't remember exactly how long it's been. About two months in, Astarion told Shadowheart and Halsin to come over, realizing this was not going to go away on its own. They, tried, everything. Shadowheart went into a frenzy, reading up on everything she could, trying spells she had never cast before. Halsin got ahold of every other druid he knew in the city, to no avail. Everyone was clueless. The only thing they could determine is that this illness was man-made.

"So some bastard did try to finally get me, huh?"

You smile a little at your own comment, wincing at the pain it brings you. Astarion glares, not at you, but at the idea that someone would do this to you.

"Not funny my sweet."

It's now been four months. Astarion has tried his best to keep up with all the care you need, but it has turned both of your lives to shambles. Eventually he invited all your old companions over, to stay for a while, as they wanted to help with your illness. Despite the fact that he could barely stay awake at times, he would watch over you for hours on end, sometimes twenty at a time, until someone like Lae'zel dragged him out of your room to go lie down.

Gale has cooked every meal for all of you since you've gotten worse. He tries his best to make things from your childhood, things you'd find comforting. Shadowheart and Halsin continue to research your sickness, finding nothing. Wyll, Karlach, and Lae'zel take turns with Astarion, keeping watch over you, tending to your every need. At this point, you can barely get up most days, either from pain or lack of energy. Despite this, you can't ever sleep. If you do manage to drift off, it's for thirty minutes or so, and then you're jolted awake by some pain.

One day though, you're awoken by Astarion and Halsin arguing.

"I'm telling you Astarion, there is nothing I can do. Tav is going to pass. I don't know how soon, but I would start getting things in order."

He tries to hold back tears, to be good with his bedside manner, but it's almost impossible when Astarion keeps yelling back at him, desperate.

"Tav is not going to die. It's not time yet, you have to do something!"

"Please, Astarion. I don't want to fight with you. I know this is hard to hear, but it's over. There's nothing more we can do. There is no cure."

He tenses, ready to spit some nasty sentence about how he must be some great druid if he can't even heal people, but he refrains, wiping at his eyes. He storms off to his study, as all of your friends watch it unfold.

"I knew he was going to react like that."

Gale says sadly, looking down at the floor.

"I'll go take watch, give him some time."

And with that, Karlach comes into your room. You pretend to be asleep.

After a few agonizing hours, it's evening. Karlach brought you some soup that you couldn't bring yourself to even try eating. As the sun sets, Astarion is in the doorway, a grim look in his eyes. Without saying anything, Karlach takes her leave, giving him an understanding nod that you don't see.

When your lover makes his way to the bed, he lies down next to you, locking eyes with your tired gaze. It's as if you've been beaten twelve times over, the bags under your eyes have gotten so dark.

"Hello my sweet."

He smiles softly, trying to hide the sorrow, trying to shelter you from the news Halsin gave him.

"Hello my love."

You smile back, a little bit of pain and pressure in your face at the attempt.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

You snuggle into his side, trying not to move too much. He meets you halfway.

"I'm just... I'm so tired."

"I know darling... I know."

"No, Astarion. I'm tired of this."

"As am I. Shadowheart and Halsin are working steady as always, they'll find something."

You shake your head, a movement he can feel against his chest.

"No. No I... I heard."

You're exhausted, the air barely leaving your lungs.

"Heard what my dear?"

He's not good at playing dumb, the crack in his voice giving it all away. He hadn't thought about the argument, that you would've heard the two of them yelling about how you're going to die.

"What Halsin... what he told you."

And the tears well in his eyes instantly. He thought he wouldn't have to tell you, that he could keep this sacred thing going, that he could hold you without you needing to know it could all go away so quickly. You hear him sniffle, clearly trying to hold back.

"We don't know it's true Tav, they could still find something. They could be wrong."

His throat is coated in desperation, every word stabbing through your brain, trying to find something in you that believes him, even if he doesn't believe himself.

"They've been at it for months my love. I think it's over."

He grips you a little tighter, wishing for your existence, trying to hold the wind back from the embers of a long-gone flame. You both stay silent for a minute, as you try to work up the courage to ask him something. Something you're not even sure he'll say yes to, but you try.

"I want you to feed on me."

He scoffs, almost angrily.

"No my dear, not while you're sick. You need everything you can get.."

You shake a little, perhaps from the never-ending fever, or maybe from the fear, or the pain.

"No. I mean I want you to feed on me until I'm gone."

He tenses, shocked by your request.

"You... you what?"

You start to tear up, which only brings more pain.

"I'm just so tired Aster, and I've fought for so long. I want it to be over. I'm ready for it to be over, please."

You can barely make it through the end of your sentence without choking up.

"I can't do that, I- I won't!"

He sits up to look at you.

"You can't give up, not like this. There's still time, we still have time."

You reach out for his hand, and he obliges. As you squeeze you fingers into the back of his hand, you ask him one of the hardest questions he's ever had to answer.

"What, so you can watch me continue to suffer?"

He hadn't thought of it, that if this was horrific, how much worse could it get? How long was soon? Even Halsin didn't know how much time, not even an estimate, just... soon. He doubles down.

"No! So that, that maybe you can get better! That we can find the bastard that did this and make him cough up the cure. Maybe we can-"

"Astarion!"

You hadn't yelled for weeks, mustering up everything in your body to overpower his pleading voice. The tears continue to fall down his face, and he leans over, bringing your hand to his face.

"I can't Tav. I can't kill you. You're asking me to destroy the only thing I've ever loved, I-"

The thought of it makes him feel like throwing up, the thought of doing something like that to you. Forever ago he tried feasting on your blood in the middle of the night, long before you fell in love. And when you woke up to a strange man, a monster trying to steal your life force, you were kind. You let him drink from you, and every time he needed to after that.

"I love you so much, and I know you love me so much deeper than I could ever imagine, and I am asking you to do one last thing for me, out of love. I don't want to die to some unknown disease that's been ravaging my body, to pass in my sleep without so much as a thought. I want to die with you, right here, while everyone sleeps, where we can be alone one last time."

It's hard to argue with you, but Astarion feels as though ending your life is hardly an act of love. Mortal lives are already so fleeting, and yet you are asking him to cut it even shorter, to let you go. He meets your eyes again.

"Can I at least go slow?"

"As slow as you'd like."

You weakly smile, and he realizes there is no more considering your offer. This is what you want, and only he can give it to you.

"Okay."

He leans down to kiss you, slowly making his way to your throat, hesitating at first.

"I love you more than you'll ever know."

No pet names, no antics, no fluff. It's the first time you think he's ever said something so serious about how in love with you he is.

"I love you too Astarion."

And it's rare that you ever call each other by your first names. He shivers a little, saying you love 'Astarion' and not 'your sweet' or 'your love.' With your declarations out of the way, he pierces your skin with his fangs, slower than usual. Feeding from you is almost always a rabid act, desperate, feral. He's reserved, savoring every moment, knowing this is it, the last time he'll taste your blood, the last time he'll hold you in his arms, the last time you'll lie in this bed together. When the cold subsides and the numbness takes over, you're at peace for the first time in a long time. All you feel is the slow lapping of your blood, and his grasp tight around you. It feels like forever to you, but moments for him. As the flowing river becomes smaller, the tiniest drops coming out of your neck, he feels your body start to go limp, your skin start to get cold. He fulfills your request despite how much he's hurting, and he drinks until there is nothing left, until you're gone.

A wail echoes through the house, waking up your companions as they rush to see what's happened. As Shadowheart is the first to reach the doorway, she sees Astarion clutching your body, sobbing hysterically. She gets up next to him, clamoring on, asking what happened. He can barely speak, and the rest watch in silence.

"Tav- I- I had to- they wanted me to-"

Guilt-ridden, terrified of what he's done despite you pleading with him minutes ago, Astarion can only stutter the same phrases over and over again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I- I didn't want to- please."

"Hey, it's okay. Astarion. Astarion?"

Shadowheart notices the blood all over his mouth and the sheets, and the two perfect pin pricks in your neck, realizing what he's done. Astarion looks up for a moment, still clutching your dead body in his hands. And then, he points at Halsin.

"YOU. You fool, Tav heard us, they heard what you said. They gave up because of you. I had to kill them because of you..."

He starts to sob again, losing the rage, overcome with a sorrow that is inexplainable. Halsin only stays silent, knowing these are words of grief and not truth.

"Get out."

Halsin starts to step aside, believing the comment to be about him. When no one else moves, Astarion's eyes dart across the room at everyone, almost manic.

"Get out, all of you. GET OUT."

"Astarion, you can't-"

Gale is cut off by what is such a guttural scream, he can hardly believe it came from the vampire.

"LEAVE."

He comes back to your body, sobbing into flesh that no longer feels.

"Just please leave me alone..."

Shadowheart quietly gets off the bed, ushering everyone out of the room, softly closing the door behind her. Astarion can barely hear the murmurs outside the bedroom door, as he begins muttering to your lifeless corpse.

"I'm so sorry my dear... I'm so sorry. I should've done more, I should've told you to stay, I-"

He can't find the words, relentlessly blaming himself for your choice, wondering if there was any way to get around this. His mind wanders to that first month, when you dropped his wine glass, how he yelled from the other room, how he scolded you for being careless with his things, and he realizes how stupid life is. Nothing matters, a wine glass doesn't matter, you matter. And you were the only thing that ever mattered.

Hours go by, and dusk turns to dawn. Eventually, Gale comes back to the door, knocking softly.

"I'm coming in."

He's met with Astarion still, lying with your body, the blood crusted on the sheets, and his bloodshot eyes. It's as if he barely moved.

"I think... I think it's time."

While Gale wishes that Astarion could stay by your side forever, he knows your corpse will start to change soon, to become worse and worse as the hours pass by. It takes him forever to pry your lover from your side, eventually leading him to the living room, where he lies on the sofa, curled up, as Halsin begins to prepare your body.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #angst #astarion x tav

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moonlighttarotreadings · 11 months

Text

💌 Your Love Story PAC Reading‼️‼️

Left to right: Pile 1, 2,3

Please leave feedback in my ask box about your thoughts and feelings! OPEN FOR EXCHANGE READINGS!!

Pile 1: Love

So whilst channeling this pile, I got the symbol of butterflies and the number 4. So these are somehow gonna be connected to your person energy. I also kept hearing the song Clean by Taylor Swift. So I’m sensing you’ve done so much inner work and healing, you’ve gone through so much trauma and struggle in your life. The lyric that really standing out is “now that I’m clean I’m never gonna risk it”, so your now in a higher vibration and your spirit guides want you to know how proud of you they are. You really deserve love. I’m feeling like you’ll meet once you fully love yourself, and stop thinking about love. I’m also feeling like it will happen during a period of a career growth and a lot of success. I’m getting boss bitch energy era, and then your persons gonna come in. Like possibly at a work conference, business related situation. Something formal. I see a suit and tie, so very very formal. I’m feeling they’ll just approach you, and act all cocky and confident, even drop a frisky one liner on you, to grab your attention. But it will be so much different to past love, I’m feeling like in the past you were chasing someone, making all the moves, planning dates and just giving yourself away. I also heard the song cardigan by Taylor Swift, like you knew you were being used in past connection, but they convinced you that’s what love is. When it’s truely not. So this connections a complete 180’ , from that. They’ll never make you feel like an “old cardigan”, there gonna make you feel like the most special person in the whole world, like visiting you at work and meeting up for lunch. They really will adore you, like leave love notes on the food they packed you for lunch. I heard the name James Dean and Marilyn Monroe - so they could have an old Hollywood look to them. But you truely deserve this special love!

Pile 2: …This love is good this love is bad… this love came back to me…

So for pile 2, you’re gonna marry someone you were with in the past. Someone who you had an unbalanced live with, like it had good and bad moments, someone you were in love with when you were young. Like right person wrong time. Your paths will cross again. You both were under developed and immature, but now you’re developed, I’m hearing you reunite soon actually. Like they miss you, they could reach out soon via text or a call. The song I heard was “this love”, by Taylor Swift. Like you’ve both grown up and matured, I’m hearing you guys are gonna take it slow just cause you both scared you gonna hurt each other again, and accidentally do something to upset one another. But don’t be scared, it was a different time, and you’ve both grown up, they are your person. I saw the symbol of lavender and the letter T being significant to someone’s name somehow. I’m hearing it’s has a traditional live between the two of you, like 1950s style romance. You’re gonna be wined and dined and being taken cares by a gentleman. I just heard you both need to get your feelings off your chest and just be honest with one another. Tell them what’s not working and what is. You both expect the other to read you mind, but it’s not possible. So talk to them. I feel like even though your in delegation you truely love them. Like even after the break up you never stopped. I heard the song Lover by Taylor swift, like it’s a sweet and gentle love. Your both afraid to hurt one another, you truely care for each other and love each other. I heard the message from them, “please don’t be in love with someone else”.

Pile 3: Karma is my boyfriend

Ok for some reason I’m hearing this person is your Karma, like your ex will be so jealous and insecure once they see your future spouse. Like your future spouse is everything your ex wasn’t. They will come in after you went through a heartbreak, like you needed to go through that so you knew how you shouldn’t be treated. Your future spouse is gonna be very mature and stable. They’ll plan dates and gift give. You’ll meet through friends or social media, there are mutual connections. You’re like that couple people look and and say they’re perfect for one another. I kept hearing it’s Andrew, so that’s a message for a specific person, not everyone - just one person out of the collective had to heard that, so to whoever it is that is your confirmation. I heard the symbol of night and day - take it how it resonates. I’m just feeling like your ex was truely just lazy and wasn’t at your level, like he was lucky you paid attention. I’m feeling like you’ll both look across the room at one another and just know that’s your person, it’s like a deep connection from the beginning. I also heard the song Enchanted by Taylor Swift, you’ll feel like you’ve meet each other before, it’s so cute. Like it’s playful energy too. Your gonna instantly know it’s your person, and it’ll be like the whole room stoped and it’s just the two of you. I’m feeling you’ll both look so beautiful, possibly at a wedding, ball, party or dance. Something with a magical energy. Lots of late night phone calls and texts to one another.

#Pac #pick a card #tarot #intuition #intuitive #free tarot #Tarot readings #Astrology #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarot deck #divination #tarot online

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lunchboxpoems · 7 months

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OCTOBER

Is it winter again, is it cold again, didn’t Frank just slip on the ice, didn’t he heal, weren’t the spring seeds planted

didn’t the night end, didn’t the melting ice flood the narrow gutters

wasn’t my body rescued, wasn’t it safe

didn’t the scar form, invisible above the injury

terror and cold, didn’t they just end, wasn’t the back garden harrowed and planted–

I remember how the earth felt, red and dense, in stiff rows, weren’t the seeds planted, didn’t vines climb the south wall

I can’t hear your voice for the wind’s cries, whistling over the bare ground

I no longer care what sound it makes

when I was silenced, when did it first seem pointless to describe that sound

what it sounds like can’t change what it is–

didn’t the night end, wasn’t the earth safe when it was planted

didn’t we plant the seeds, weren’t we necessary to the earth,

the vines, were they harvested?

. 2.

Summer after summer has ended, balm after violence: it does me no good to be good to me now; violence has changed me.

Daybreak. The low hills shine ochre and fire, even the fields shine. I know what I see; sun that could be the August sun, returning everything that was taken away —

You hear this voice? This is my mind’s voice; you can’t touch my body now. It has changed once, it has hardened, don’t ask it to respond again.

A day like a day in summer. Exceptionally still. The long shadows of the maples nearly mauve on the gravel paths. And in the evening, warmth. Night like a night in summer.

It does me no good; violence has changed me. My body has grown cold like the stripped fields; now there is only my mind, cautious and wary, with the sense it is being tested.

Once more, the sun rises as it rose in summer; bounty, balm after violence. Balm after the leaves have changed, after the fields have been harvested and turned.

Tell me this is the future, I won’t believe you. Tell me I’m living, I won’t believe you.

. 3.

Snow had fallen. I remember music from an open window.

Come to me, said the world. This is not to say it spoke in exact sentences but that I perceived beauty in this manner.

Sunrise. A film of moisture on each living thing. Pools of cold light formed in the gutters.

I stood at the doorway, ridiculous as it now seems.

What others found in art, I found in nature. What others found in human love, I found in nature. Very simple. But there was no voice there.

Winter was over. In the thawed dirt, bits of green were showing.

Come to me, said the world. I was standing in my wool coat at a kind of bright portal — I can finally say long ago; it gives me considerable pleasure. Beauty the healer, the teacher —

death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

. 4.

The light has changed; middle C is tuned darker now. And the songs of morning sound over-rehearsed. —

This is the light of autumn, not the light of spring. The light of autumn: you will not be spared.

The songs have changed; the unspeakable has entered them.

This is the light of autumn, not the light that says I am reborn.

Not the spring dawn: I strained, I suffered, I was delivered. This is the present, an allegory of waste.

So much has changed. And still, you are fortunate: the ideal burns in you like a fever. Or not like a fever, like a second heart.

The songs have changed, but really they are still quite beautiful. They have been concentrated in a smaller space, the space of the mind. They are dark, now, with desolation and anguish.

And yet the notes recur. They hover oddly in anticipation of silence. The ear gets used to them. The eye gets used to disappearances.

You will not be spared, nor will what you love be spared.

A wind has come and gone, taking apart the mind; it has left in its wake a strange lucidity.

How priviledged you are, to be passionately clinging to what you love; the forfeit of hope has not destroyed you.

Maestro, doloroso:

This is the light of autumn; it has turned on us. Surely it is a privilege to approach the end still believing in something.

. 5.

It is true that there is not enough beauty in the world. It is also true that I am not competent to restore it. Neither is there candor, and here I may be of some use.

I am at work, though I am silent.

The bland

misery of the world bounds us on either side, an alley

lined with trees; we are

companions here, not speaking, each with his own thoughts;

behind the trees, iron gates of the private houses, the shuttered rooms

somehow deserted, abandoned,

as though it were the artist’s duty to create hope, but out of what? what?

the word itself false, a device to refute perception — At the intersection,

ornamental lights of the season.

I was young here. Riding the subway with my small book as though to defend myself against

the same world:

you are not alone, the poem said, in the dark tunnel.

. 6.

The brightness of the day becomes the brightness of the night; the fire becomes the mirror.

My friend the earth is bitter; I think sunlight has failed her. Bitter or weary, it is hard to say.

Between herself and the sun, something has ended. She wants, now, to be left alone; I think we must give up turning to her for affirmation.

Above the fields, above the roofs of the village houses, the brilliance that made all life possible becomes the cold stars.

Lie still and watch: they give nothing but ask nothing.

From within the earth’s bitter disgrace, coldness and barrenness

my friend the moon rises: she is beautiful tonight, but when is she not beautiful?

LOUISE GLUCK (1943-2023)

#louise gluck #poem #poetry #october poem

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pannee-dragon · 4 months

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sleep token

words that I can hear Vessel's accent on, which make me think he has a stronger accent speaking. (unfortunately I live in the uk)

chance, glass, dance, branches, past- with the soft 'ah' vowel sound and different emphasis on syllables

dropping the g at the end of the 'ing' in words like grinning, giving, running

enunciation of the letters t, p and d and then sometimes 'ing' is very pronounced

"what you,", "have to," "won't you" said as "whatcha, haf ta" basically that whole line in granite

darling... dahhhrlingggg

heaven, hell, head, heal, hands, slightly drops the 'hh' sound

"ah made lahving yew ah blood sport,"

"why arrrre yew nevaaaa real?"

"something," I'm pretty sure I heard the sound f for the diagraph 'th', as in somefing

the way he sings "earn" sounds different too

he sings the word 'again' differently in different songs. it's either again that rhymes with gain/rain- 'ah gayn' or again that rhymes with men 'uh gen'

(these lil quirks and signatures of his music are so endearing to me)

#sleep token #vessel #i love vessel's accent and voice and heavier american accents in metal are jarring for me now lol #sleep token has ruined me #the hold this band has over my brain #i keep thinking of things and editing the post lol

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stevesbipanic · 2 years

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After the Upside Down is long gone there are still residual effects left on the party. None of them are starngers to the nightmares that plague them. All of them flinch at flickering lights and Christmas doesn't have the same sparkle it used to.

Steve gets headaches, needs glasses and can't quite hear right out of his left ear. Max lives with chronic pain in all her joints and a cane. Will's lungs aren't the same and he needs an asthma puffer. Dustin walks with a slight limp. Lucas has a fake tooth. Erica is claustrophobic. Mike can't handle thunder. El still gets nose bleeds. Hopper can't feel his toes. Murray is afraid of carnivals. Joyce can't stand hospitals. Nancy can't swim in pools. Robin throws up at the dentist.

For Eddie, it's his hands.

After every else had healed, Eddie's hands hand a slight tremor. His doctors said it was nerve damage, that it might go away, it might be permanent.

The tremors ruined everything.

Eddie struggled with anything fast paced on his guitar. His handwriting was more illegible than ever. He couldn't paint his figures. Couldn't rewire cars. Eddie struggled to even hold his coffee steady in the morning.

It broke Eddie. More than the nightmares of a sunken face. More than the sound of bats in the night. More than the sight of blood or the crack of thunder.

He sobbed into Steve's arms one night when they were sharing a joint. Steve had come over, not being able to sleep. The boys had been keeping each other company more lately.

"I can't do anything right, Steve. I escaped that hell and for what? It's taken everything from me."

"That's not true Ed's. There's still plenty of songs you can play on the guitar. I can always write your notes for you. I know Erica would love to help you paint and you're still plenty helpful at the shop without the delicate things. Plus you haven't lost everything."

"I haven't?"

"Haven't lost the kids, haven't lost me."

Steve reached between them and intertwined their fingers. Eddie felt calmer after talking to Steve. They watched the stars until their buzz was gone and their eyelids heavy.

In the morning, when he woke up tangled in Steve's limbs he'd realise something.

His fingers hadn't shaken holding Steve's hand.

#fluff and angst #stranger things #stranger things s4 #steve harrington #st4 #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things season 4 #eddie munson stranger things #eddie the freak munson #ficlet

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shelbgrey · 10 months

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Dating Dean Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Dean winchester x Singer!Reader

Summary: just some headcanons about Dean dating Bobby Singer's niece. -NSFW content warring.

A/n: the winner of the latest poll, there will be a new one up next week. I was so excited and suprised on how many people did the poll, my first one only had six and the latest one had over 100.

❤️Mood board ❤️MasterList

Being Dean's girlfriend isn't always easy, but you get through it. So let's talk about it.

There was always something between you guys, but with your choice of life there was always something in the way.

You two practically grew up together, with Bobby being your uncle and John being his father you two were always around each other.

I think Dean also had a slight fear of Bobby, you were his niece and your practly his daughter.

Bobby wasn't clueless, he saw the way you two looked at each other. He wanted to kick Dean's teeth out, he's extremely over protective. Bobby also knew if anyone would keep you safe it wold be Dean.

“I know you'll take care of her”

On a side note, Bobby refuse to call you 'idjit'

The last thing he's said before he died was, “take care of my girl.. You idjits”

Anyway, Even if you two kept denying it or if your just clueless, everyone would know.

Other than Sam and Cas, your the only one he 100% trusts you. He'd trusts you with his life and your his partner in crime.

What makes your relationship stronger is that you started off as best friends and allies.

You always thought you were losing him, he would always have one night stands and there was Lisa. Of course they ment nothing to him, he just thought he'd never be good enough for you.

He thought you deserved better. “I'm not what you need...you deserve better”

That was the first time you opened your heart out to him, but he put his walls up. The he pretended like nothing happened... Until you went on one particularly hard hunt.

Everything was happing so fast thst neither one of you remember that night. There was blood everywhere and Dean did everything he could to save you, Castile healed you and Dean confessed something he's been wanting to since he was 18.

“I love you... Please don't leave me, I can't lose you”

Since everything moves fast in your lives you both decided to take things slow. Dispite his rugged appearance he's nothing but a gentleman to you.

He's extremely over protective of you, to the point hunts with him got annoying.

“I'm not some damsley in distress, Dean!”

He knows what a badass you are and he knows you can hold your own, but he can't help but be your shield.

That's really the only times you fight, your both very reckless and laugh in the face of danger. You guys stress each other out on hunts.

But, lets get to the good stuff now.

Your the only other person who can drive the impala, you'd rather just have him driving with you setting with him.

You guys love the same music, so your always singing on the top of your longs to old rock songs. Your guys song is Angel Eyes by The Jeff Healey Band.

You always have to be sleeping next to each other to get a goods night rest, even when you weren't together you two shared a bed in the old motels.

Dean refuses to sleep unless you have fallen asleep first, he just needs to know your okay before he can have a good night sleep.

You bake the best pies in his opinion and Sam loves your homemade salsa.

When you guys moved into the bunker you guys made great use of the kitchen, Sam loves your guys cooking.

Speaking of Sam, he's one of your best friends. Cas is your first, but you and Sam have a long history together. You were even the first one to hear he got accepted into college.

We know Cas is like the Winchesters gardian angel, well Gabriel is yours.

About three years into yours and Dean's relationship you broke up, it was around the time Sam went to hell and you guys just pushed each other away.

Gabe knew you guys loved each other, so he worked really hard to get you back together. He did succeed.

You guys might argue about the little things, but he always know how to make them better.

You guys just like staying in and watching movies or Scooby-Doo. You guys love cuddling up in the Dean cave and just ignore the world for a few hours.

He loves cuddles, if your in bed or on the couch he needs to be holding you. He loves it when he's laying in bed and your lying on top of his chest.

He also loves it when you hold him, maybe after a rough hunt he'll love just rest his head on your chest while you play with his hair.

You love just being in his arms, there's no feeling better than that. He loves snaking his arms around you and resting his chin on your head because he just really needs to being close to you.

He's really just a big ol' teddy bear.

He's a rough kisser, he's way taller than you so usually he hold your chin between his fingers and lift for head up to kiss you.

There's a lot of neck and forehead kisses being handed out by this man. He loves wrapping his arms around you from behind and just trail soft kisses down your neck.

He also loves it when you kiss his forehead. It just a small, loving gesture he absolutely loves.

If your cold you'll steal his flannels or his jackets, he had this black and red flannel that he now only sees if your wearing it.

when ever your busy doing research Dean always deliver a tiny kiss on your forehead. He'd just be walking by and he'll give you a quick kiss just to make you blush.

He's good a making you blush, he thinks it's adorable.

Trust is a big part of your relationship, you both had opened up about the abuse your fathers and dumped on you. That was the reason Bobby took you in, he could bare you being in the type of environment he grew up in.

With that Dean made a promise to never hurt or scare you. He refuses to lay a hurtful hand on you. It'll break his heart if you flinch away from him during an argument.

As much as you love Dean, demon Dean scares the hell out of you. The demon knew this and used it to his advantage. He Dean went back to normal he could barely look into your eyes. He blamed himself for the bruises around your neck the demon caused.

“I promised you I'd never hurt you... I'm so sorry” he said. “it's not your fault”

On a more positive side... You guys have lots of nicknames. You call him Deano or bub and he calls you just about anything but your actual name, Sweetheart is your favorite.

And with FBI names, you take a different approach. While he uses rock aliases you use actor or fictional names.

“agent Sweets, really?” he said playfully. “What? I like the show Bones”

Your like a mother to Claire, she loves you so much and your the only person she trusts other than Jody and the boys.

Speaking of Jody, she took you under her wing immediately. You never had a mother growing up so it was a relief to have her in your life.

You become a mother to Jack too, and your relationship hit a really bumpy road during that time. You hated how Dean treated Jack and it always turned into a fight.

“if you touch him, I swear to God, Dean!”

Den didn't want to be like his father and after awhile Dean's shell broke and he started to grow a soft spot for him, after your lives calmed down you both did end up adopting Jack.

But to legally do that you had to get married. You both wanted to get married so bad, but with your lives you never got the chance.

You weren't gonna get a white wedding, you knew that and Dean thought the Cort house wasn't good enough. So you got married in the church of Elvis in Las Vegas.

NSFW headcanons:

Dean prefers being on top and being the one in control.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Loves eating you out,your legs around his head. He loves your legs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

Bondeg kink, ropes, his ties, belts, he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it.

definitely a fan of overstimulation, he loves the way that your body twitches and you whimper from his touch.

car sex! All the way. loves to take you in the back of the impala, loving the way the windows fog up and the small area gets loud with the noises you make.

He's a soft/mean Dom, it just depends on his mood. But no matter what he always makes sure your comfortable. He loves to take control in the bed but would never push you.

He would really get off on marking you up. He didn’t think he would, as it wasn’t something he thought too much about but when he did it there was no turning back.

He definitely has a Praise kink too, he loves making you feel loved and appreciated. He love how he can easily make you blush. “your so Beautiful”

“you feel so amazing Sweetheart”

He loves hearing you moan. If you try to hold back or even muffle them when it's unnecessary, he'd put an end to it. “don't hold back, let me hear your voice”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

This man is amazing when it comes to aftercare. He knows exactly what you need. After your both cleaned up, he'll pull you to his chest to cuddle.

#Dean winchester #Supernatural #Dean winchester x reader #Dean winchester x Singer!reader #Supernatural headcanons #Dean winchester headcanons #Dean winchester imagines #Jensen Ackles x reader #Bobby Singer x reader #Bobby Singer headcanons #Jensen Ackles

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saturnianprincess · 2 years

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[pick a card] your relationship

In this reading, I will tell you about the type of love you share with your future spouse / long-term partner.

How to choose a pile: Close your eyes, meditate on the piles if you feel like and pick the one your intuition guides you to. As always take what resonates and let the rest fly! Hope you enjoy this reading :)

Pile 1

The relationship you share with your person will be a calming yet emotionally fulfilling one. You both could be each other's wish or manifestations. There will not be any power imbalances and you both consider each other to be equal. There is a sense of building or creating something together. Mostly, I'm seeing starting a business or following a dream of yours with their help. It's like you both will help uplift each other to be your best versions. People may feel like your relationship with your person is too good to be true. People might feel that you are hiding or not sharing the negative aspects of it, but my lovelies your person is literally a gift to you from the universe. I'm not saying you would not have any struggles as such but I see an initial lack of commitment for either you or your person. At times you both might get too busy with pursuing your own dreams that you get tunnel-visioned so be mindful of that. All in all, they are your future partner and will be a lucky charm for you.

a song for this group:

Pile 2

You will have a fun, lively, and outgoing relationship with your person. You will socialize and party a lot. Some of you might meet them at one! You both will face a lot of obstacles, and encounter snakey people or situations but I see that you will overcome these challenges bravely. You both prioritize quality time with each other. They will fill your cup with so much love and gift (yea some of yall's person loves to spoil you with expensive gifts). There may be the occasional conflicts or arguments but I see both parties dealing with issues with emotional maturity and rationality. You both would place each other on the pedestal and treat each other with the utmost respect. I see you go on lots of adventures and impulsive trips with your person. Your person might be a little protective of you. You both complement each other in the best way. Ying-Yang energy. You both will encourage each other to step out your comfort zones. You both will experience so many new things with each other.

a song for this group:

Pile 3

For this pile most of your future spouses/partners are healers. You will meet them when you are in a dark place or struggling alone. At first, you will be guarded and defensive with them, but over time you will reach a point of understanding that they are here for you, to help you heal. You might be stuck in a toxic situation or with a toxic person unable to see the way out, but your spouse/partner will help you get out of that. Your relationship with them will be full of sunshine and happiness. Some of you will have a family with this person or for others, their family will be so accepting of you. They will be there for you whether you choose them or not. Your connection with them will feel so ethereal almost like you are imagining things. Your person will nourish your soul and heal your wounds with love. If you are burdened with something they will make sure to remove that burden from your shoulders. Will literally even sacrifice themselves for you so be careful to not let them overdo this. You both would need to ensure that there are strong boundaries in place.

a song for this group:

Pile 4

Those who chose this pile are most likely to end up with their soulmate. This is a love-at-first-sight relationship. You both were definitely supposed to be with each other in this lifetime. Your relationship is balanced with both of you being very much involved to make this connection work. There is a high level of intellectual stimulation. You both love to work or read in each other's company. The couple who loves to debate and chat about stuff all day long. There's a sense of familiarity with this person. You both are each other's safe space. Both of you are clingy to each other. But I do see that you both encourage each other to maintain your own life and personality. At times though either of you may get too co-dependent on the other so make sure to take some time out to reflect and keep the element of independence in the relationship. You both will be very emotionally receptive to each other. I see lots of cuddling and skipping parties just to be with each other. It is a very cute rom-com-type relationship. You both will laugh a lot together and have this best-friend vibe.

a song for this group:

#Spotify #pick a card #tarot cards #tarot community #future spouse #love reading #relationship #astrology community #divination #pick a pile #free tarot #future lovers #pariposts

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ariesmoontarot · 3 months

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What Are You Manifesting?

The Piles:

𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘈 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘦

Pile One:

Song: Love On The Brain -Rihanna; I Gotta Find Peace Of Mind (Live) -Ms. Lauryn Hill; Let Me Go -Daniel Caesar

Side Note: Man, this pile is heavy on the emotions. I almost cried channeling these songs for you. I hope you manifest all the love and healing you need, take care my love <3.

Angel Number: 7, 77, 777

Channeled Words: Critical, horoscope, behead, flourish, hip, ghostwriter, attract, pipe, replace, difficulty.

Channeled Names: Naila, Yeseniya, Fadhili, Korneli, Göstav, Klara, Hyeon-Ju, Irene, Feidhelm, Kazuhiko, Domingo, Viola, Violetta, Olivia.

So, what I'm getting from your energy is that you're manifesting openness, vulnerability, and honesty. Of course that isn't the only thing you're manifesting, there is a very exciting, passionate, and confident energy you're going to be embracing. I feel like for some of you, you could be manifesting a union with someone you feel very strongly about. They may not come off as socially appropriate or acceptable. I feel like they have a bit of a bad reputation and people have judged them harshly because of it. I feel like this is someone you know from your past and maybe you guys used to link up and casually have sex or don't necessarily intend to have sex, but it happens. I feel like you have a lot of self-control and know when to limit yourself. Sexually, financially, lustfully, even when it comes to fun, drinking, smoking, anything that could potentially turn into a bad habit or addiction. You also know when to limit distractions and set boundaries and I feel like the person who could be from your past, doesn't know how to balance out their time and energy with their responsibilities. They may let their fears, addictions, bad habits, and desires control them more than their heart and mind. I feel like you're manifesting something long term and serious. You aren't playing games and I'm hearing you can "get it" anytime you want it, but you don't care to accept the bare minimum. You've had your fun and fair share of escapism and I feel like now you're ready to build abundance in all aspects. That goes for financial stability, success, a happy family, and wealth. I feel like you're someone who will hold it down for a person you really love and value. This could be how you feel towards someone you may or may not be talking to right now. I feel like loving them brought you happiness and pulled you out of a dark place. I feel like you loved this person a lot and wanted to build a home with them. It pushed you to mature and heal because you knew you had to be a better you in order to be focused and determined on the goals you have. I feel like this person feels like they lose their self-control around you. They're very attracted to you, and they fear how they feel for you because they know if they let you too close to them, you have the ability to hurt them, reject them, or make them feel less of themselves, but you wouldn't do that. They're just afraid of intimacy. Loving them has been a challenge for you, but you said, "challenge accepted". I feel like you didn't take no for an answer, you're persistent, confident, patient, & I'm seeing you've put in hard work and effort into this situation. But not only in this situation, you've worked on yourself, your family, and your priorities. You aren't chasing them or even focused on the negatives. I'm seeing you've manifested so much that you don't even realize. You've manifested clarity, peace, stability, strength, wisdom, & even a new mentality. That's not all spirit is saying, you also manifested a very big opportunity that will bring balance to every part of your life. You may not see this now, but you will very soon. You're in this period of realizing who you are, what you believe in, what you want out of life, & more. It's like things have been moving slow and at a very steady pace for you. It's like this saying, "It's slow to get rich, and fast to go broke". I feel like that applies in many ways. Good things take time. You can't rush success or progress; you build it and watch it grow. This person can have extremely high standards and boundaries. I feel like it's been so hard for you to get close to their heart and get them to open up to you. One of the most important things you are manifesting is freedom and release from this relationship that's held you back emotionally. You've been holding on emotionally and maybe even mentally and physically for others, but spirit is saying to let go. Let the inevitable happen. When a situation is falling apart over and over and just not working, that is a big sign you're resisting change.

It's important to control what you can control and that's you. You have power over yourself and nothing else. You create the life you want by treating yourself the way you want to be treated and not allowing others to dismiss you and influence you negatively. You do not have to tolerate people who do not want to love you the way you deserve to be loved. You are manifesting so much love in your life and I feel like even if this situation didn't work out as planned, you are manifesting a long term relationship with someone who really compliments you and helps bring in balance just as you do for them. I see you pushing each other to be your best selves, supporting each other, nurturing, providing, teaching, healing, all that good stuff. This is someone you can create a family with.

Pile Two:

Song: One More Night -Maroon 5; Higher -Tems; A Change Is Gonna Come -Sam Cooke

Angel Number: 6, 66, 666

Channeled Words: Crack, disco, microphone, tissue, latest, ally, influence, chauvinist, kidnap, slot.

Channeled Names: Parris, Svetlana, Carlotta, Marcus, Ayan, Samyukatha, Miklo, Fernando, Jason, Olivia, Nazar, Dema, Ahriman, Alijah.

You're manifesting growth, possibilities, answers, awareness, love, & so much more. Right now, things aren't as tangible as you would like them to be. Your manifestations may not be appearing on the surface or showing up right on your door step, but the energy is there. I feel like you're learning very important lessons. There is something you are being called to do and I feel like you've been hesitant about making a decision or a choice. Your emotions were clouding your perception in the recent past and I feel like it's made you feel very confused and indecisive. There's been a lot of temporary situations and I feel like you've made the choice of investing your time and love into the wrong things. I'm seeing you learning from this and managing your ego in a much healthier way. You may have made choices impulsively without thinking of the consequences and this is because you acted on a feeling. You're learning that not every feeling needs to be acted upon. We must know what is right for us and what isn't. Sometimes are own feelings can deceive us, which is why we must learn to be more mindful and trust our intuition when we're feeling a certain way about something. I feel like there was a situation you had a hard time trying to understand, and you may have continuously questioned yourself trying to figure out the truth about why it is you feel the way you do about something or someone. For some of you, you kept going back to a person you had an unstable relationship with even though you felt in your body you shouldn't have. You may have ignored your intuition and allowed this person to come in and be emotionally deceptive and manipulative to you. For others of you, I feel like you just had a hard time making the smartest decisions because of your emotions. You haven't had a peace of mind for a while, but I see you manifesting this energy within yourself. It's like a whole new you. This phase of your life is coming to an end and you're changing in ways you probably didn't think you would. I feel like for the most part, you knew change was inevitable and nothing stays the same forever. I see you getting a wish fulfillment and feeling really inspired by these new lessons you're learning. When I say inspired by them, I mean you're ready to use the knowledge you've gained and apply it to your life. This is a powerful change even if it may seem small to you. I see you releasing your fears of the past and embracing the good times you had. You may be fearful of intimacy and opening up to people because you've been betrayed, deceived, and hurt. It's hard sometimes to learn how to trust in love again. I feel like you will be overcoming the things that hold you back from being your best self and stepping into a more disciplined, stable, hardworking, and passionate energy. You know when to use your logic and when to set boundaries. It took you some time to gain the self-control you have now, but you manifested this for yourself and because of that you will be able to create long term success, relationships, and build a home for you and your family. People from your past will try and pop back up into your life but use your discernment. For those of you with someone you are struggling with romantically, I feel like this person tries to be very kind, lighthearted, and maybe even flirts with you. I feel like they really like you they just have a hard time being confident, secure, and in their best energy. They've been feeling really insecure and doubtful about themselves because they've hurt you and disappointed you because of their ego. I know you might be upset with them, but spirit is saying to have compassion and understanding. We all make mistakes as humans and we shouldn't change ourselves because someone else hurt us. Even though pain can change us, it doesn't have to be negatively. I feel like this person was very depressed and pessimistic about love. They had a bad attitude when it came to seeing the bigger picture.

They may have lied to you, didn't express how they felt emotionally, played games with you, and maybe even rude towards you when you didn't do anything. I feel like you've been doing your best to understand them, have compassion, patience, and be supportive but they still weren't satisfied. Conversations with this person may have turned into disagreements, conflict, arguments, and them just wanting to be right. They didn't even understand how they felt and why they acted the way they did because I feel like they were acting from a place of insecurity and fear. They let their ego get the best of them and I feel like they're realizing it within themselves, but this isn't something they talk to you about often. I do see you that you guys have discussed it before, but not in a healthy way. They may have come off very rude about it and hurt your feelings without any consideration of how they made you feel. It's like they use honesty to be malicious. They act like if they are honest with you, then it's okay for them to be prideful and arrogant. Anyways, they know your worth. They know the type of person you are and they see you in a positive light, they just don't feel like way about themselves. They could be jealous. Jealous because they don't feel as good about themselves as you do. You're loving, compassionate, nurturing, healing, smart, patient, abundant, self-reliant, and to them you have it all together. Even though they have all of these qualities, they compare themselves to you. I'm seeing that right now you're feeling this energy of very deep emotion and love. You could feeling particularly empathetic and intuitive. It's a heightened sense of spiritual awareness. Spirit is saying that mentally you haven't come to this awareness of how you feel. It's like you don't understand the lesson or message you're supposed to be receiving through your mind. It could be that all the hard work and effort you've been putting into your manifestations are coming to fruition and it has to do with love as well. You're healing and overcoming hard times you thought you'd never get over. I see someone from your past that took advantage of your time and energy wanting to communicate with you about how they've been feeling. I see them bringing up old memories and past moments you've shared when times were good between you and wanting to move forward with you in some way. I see you feeling stuck in your head about this person and not really knowing why you feel the way you do and it's because there is an opportunity you manifested with this person to be able to start something long term together. You're having a difficult time letting go of the past memories and experiences that hurt you and that's why you aren't seeing this opportunity, but you will. I see them speaking their mind to you and helping you get clarity over how you feel. Right now, is a good time to listen to how you feel and trust your intuition. Don't listen to your fear. Open yourself up to love and opportunities coming your way.

Pile Three:

Song: November Rain -Guns N' Roses; Here Comes The Sun -The Beatles

Angel Number: 4, 44, 444

Channeled Words: Soft, sofa, flexible, X-ray, single, spit, flush, condition, flood, extort, pain, carnival, octopus, sing, candy, tattoos.

Channeled Names: Polya, Simon, Raheim, Bhaskar, Achaikos, Krastyu, Gabriella, Alicia, Nathan, Eva, Gabriele, Alejandro.

I see you coming out of a period of solitude. You've been spending time alone trying to calm your mind and connect with yourself. I feel like you've also been using this time alone to heal and overcome this heartache you felt. It made you feel insecure and unworthy of happiness, and I feel like you're manifesting many opportunities to create abundance and happiness for your life. You've grown self-reliant and emotionally content with yourself and where you are in life. If you don't feel this way, I see this coming in for you. You're going to be starting something new and venturing off into new horizons, seeking adventure and fun. I feel like your life has been a bit mundane and routine and you're wanting to do things differently and open yourself up to joy and feeling more of a free-spirited energy. Something very unexpected is going to happen very quickly is what I'm hearing, and I feel like intuitively you may have felt it coming or just had this inner knowing, but whatever it is it's going to be an outcome that you are happy with. It is divine intervention and I feel like God is doing things behind the scenes to help a situation come into fruition for you. For some of you, it is a long-term relationship with someone you know or been with and have shared very deep sentimental experiences together. For others of you, you're deepening your spiritual beliefs and your faith. I'm seeing that God is going to do something that will help strengthen your faith even more. Continue being generous and giving to those in need. Whether it be words of wisdom, love, time, money, whatever it is you're doing to help someone else. In terms of love, I see you or someone else making a decision to communicate. There has been distance emotionally, physically, maybe even all together and I see that for some of you, you're going to see this person face to face, for others maybe over text or the phone, it could even be at a social event. Some type of apology will be made, and I feel like it'll have something to do with how you guys' left things or treated each other in the past. I see there is a very good chance you two can end up together for a long time. Don't rush anything or be impulsive. Take your time and be patient with the way things progress. In general, I see you've manifested this whole entire spiritual rebirth and a lot of things in your life are going to be changing. I see that when you get to this place in your life when you're financially and/or materially abundant, spirit is saying to be wise on how you spend your blessings. This goes for your time, energy, money, love, all that stuff. Don't be impulsive and let bad habits put you in a place where you may lose your abundance or take it for granted. I feel like it could go good or it could go bad. It'll be different for everyone, but the chances of things going well are really high as long as you allow them to be. Take care of yourself. Manage your time, energy, and resources in a practical and diligent way.

#spirituality #healing #spiritualjourney #positive vibes #tarot #love #pick a card #pac #astrology #spiritual community

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