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#headcanons are hard actually
lazuliquetzal · 7 months
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Top 10 most chaotic Tim Drake headcanons?
1) (stealing this from audreycritter) his parents lied about his age to get him into school a year early for "bragging about their genius kid" purposes, and he doesn't realize this until at the age of eighteen he digs up his birth certificate and it's like oops, I'm still only seventeen!
2) Tim didn't fool Bruce with the fake uncle but he did fool Bruce with the fake "school fundraiser, idc just write a check or smth" routine, which is what he uses to sneak his own personal Batmobile into the budget
3) was an early investor in crypto (bought it as a kid on the dark web) but is now hesitant to cash in because that would mean admitting to Dick Grayson that he's cryptobro adjacent
4) ran habbo hotel scams as a child
5) paid his way into being one of the voice sound effects in Tony Hawk: Ride (aka, the alleged worst Tony Hawk game in the franchise). He's the "ouch!" sound. In an article criticizing the game, they specifically call out the "ouch!" sound as being so annoying they purposely turned the sound effects off.
6) has a YouTube channel where he does "tutorials" on how he built his gaming PC, but the tutorials are impossible for anyone to follow because every single thing he uses is custom made and obscenely expensive. only the best for Tim Drake-Wayne
7) has paid over a thousand dollars for "organic designer weed". The weed was actually cilantro. The drug dealer was actually Jason in disguise
8) Cass doesn't like driving and will crash cars on purpose to get out of the task. Tim is her assigned chauffeur because he's the only one who lets himself get bullied by her whims
9) has a self-destruct button on his phone, which you would think is for normal "don't let bat data fall into the wrong hands" reasons, but it's actually because he wanted at least one grenade at hand at all times. The data-wipe functionality was a bonus, and did not occur to him until Bruce approved his design
10) has requested his dinner be seasoned with "a dash of cocaine" before. Alfred was not amused
EDIT: I guess I had this saved in my drafts for [indeterminate] and never posted this oops
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egophiliac · 10 months
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
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shesnake · 11 months
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kendall, six months later, cradling shiv's baby in his arms: okay yeah I did kill that waiter
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steddieas-shegoes · 3 months
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It’s been done in every which way but Eddie being in an accident of some kind that leaves him paralyzed, but his doctors believe he could walk again with intense physical therapy
He’s stubborn and absolutely hasn’t dealt with any of the trauma of the accident and takes it out on his physical therapist, Steve, who is used to patients being pretty angry about their situation
He always meets Eddie where he is though, tries to keep a smile on his face and joke when appropriate and even shares his cookies from his lunchbox with him
Eventually, Eddie starts making some progress, but instead of being happy about it, he panics and cancels all his PT appointments for the week
Steve tries calling, texting, emailing, doing everything he can to encourage him to keep going, but it all goes unanswered until Gareth, one of Eddie’s closest friends, calls him on Eddie’s phone
He’s depressed and he won’t get out of bed, he’s given up. He’s tired of being in pain and having to try to so hard just to move his damn legs a little
Steve isn’t usually this personal with clients, and tells Gareth he can’t discuss anything medical with him due to patient confidentiality, but insists he should try to drag him to the office the next day before it opens
And somehow, probably through guilt, Gareth manages to wheel a very sullen and grumpy Eddie into the side door entrance to the office at seven in the morning
Steve tells him to come back in an hour to pick him up and Eddie ignores the goodbye Gareth says to him
And Steve pretends nothing is wrong at all, goes through the usual temperature and blood pressure check, asks how he’s feeling and gets a grunt in response, asks if there’s any pain and gets an eye roll
But Eddie met his match in Steve because Steve then pushes him to the center of the workout room, where a large mat is out and a walker is set to the side
“What’s that?”
“Your walker.”
“I don’t need one seeing as I can’t fucking walk.”
“You are today.”
And Steve knows he’s pushing and he hates being pushy
But he knows what his clients are capable of, and he knows without a single doubt in his mind that Eddie is ready to use the walker for five to ten minute increments. He has the leg strength and the stubbornness, he just needs the belief in himself
“Do you want me to hurt myself worse?”
“Of course not. And if you get tired, the seat on the walker is right there. But you can walk and you will walk.”
“And if I call Gareth to come get me right now?”
“Then I don’t believe my services are of value to you anymore and I’ll wish you the best.”
It pained Steve to say it because he knew he was fucking good at what he did, maybe the best in town. His clients often had to wait for his availability to open for weeks or months at a time because of how many people were referred to him
But he said the right thing because Eddie huffed, groaned, and cursed under his breath before wheeling himself to the edge of the mat to hold onto the walker
He pulled himself up
His legs were shaking from not being used for the last few days more than the bare minimum, but his determination was clear
Steve slowly pulled the chair away as Eddie unlocked the brakes of the walker and glared at Steve as he took one step, then two
Sure, he was relying pretty heavily on the walker, maybe more than Steve would’ve liked to see, but he was moving
He made it across the mat and then locked the brakes, sat down on the pad on the walker, and gave a sarcastic grin to Steve
“Happy?”
“Are you?”
And maybe Eddie wasn’t ready to be asked that because he was suddenly sobbing, covering his face as tears flowed down his cheeks
Steve gave him a few seconds before moving to kneel in front of him, pulling his hands away
“You deserve to have your life back, Eddie. You’ve been lucky to have the chance to walk again. Let’s not waste it, okay?”
Eddie spent the rest of the session walking across the mat and taking breaks every two minutes or so
It was better than Steve even expected, but he reminded Eddie not to do too much at once
Eddie didn’t miss any more appointments with Steve, and every appointment, he seemed to be more charming and flirty, more like “the old Eddie” according to Gareth, who drove him most days
Steve never admitted it out loud, but he knew what he felt for Eddie was different from other clients. It felt more personal, and it felt like it could be more someday
When Eddie graduated to a cane, Steve’s services were officially no longer needed
And Eddie decided that he should probably take Steve out on a date
“Since I can walk and hold your hand now,” he winked.
Steve should say no, but he doesn’t
Because holding Eddie’s hand feels even more right as his boyfriend than it did as his physical therapist
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leverage-ot3 · 5 months
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I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???
and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?
a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting
and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.
every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you
and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)
and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.
a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.
not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.
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chuluoyi · 3 months
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The ask abt satoru helping pregnant! Reader to get up bc she's too plump to get up on our own after sitting down is PRICELESS!
But I was like gurl, I want to guilt trip him so bad.
Imagine he's teasing her again but she's actually pretty frustrated and like upset for some reason and she just tears up on the floor!
Imagine this poor man's reaction 😭😭
this time, it’s after you have your bath. you’re stuck in the bathtub and can’t get up—it’s always this way lately but satoru is always standing by at your beck and call to help you.
unless this time, when you call him, he’s just giggling away like the shithead he is.
“satoru!!! i can’t get up! just help me already!”
“ahahahah you’re so cute being stuck though!”
and hot, he added internally. the way the water cascades around your taut belly somehow turns him on. he’ll fight anyone who says that they no longer find their wives attractive while pregnant, because in his eyes, you look heavenly.
meanwhile, now you’re getting real upset. you’re self-conscious that he has to see you all naked after bath almost every day, and you take his laughing the wrong way.
and doubled with your hormones, you finally tear up. “hic…”
oh and satoru’s laughter immediately dies down, turns into a panicked frown as he approaches you and gets a hold over your body. “hey, hey… sorry—let’s get you out of here, yeah?”
you’re still sniffling even after he picks you up and dries you off, but then you’re getting louder after he puts you in your pajamas.
“hey… don’t cry, i’m sorry—”
“huwaaa!!”
or it could also be you’re just prolonging your cries so you can guilt trip him 💁🏻‍♀️ anyway, he doesn’t know, all he knows is seeing you crying makes him uneasy.
“stop crying…” he pulls you in his arms, patting you in the back with a sad face. “sorry. i’m sorry, okay? i don’t mean to make fun of you. it’s not good for you and the baby if you’re upset… so please?”
you roll your watery eyes at him, suddenly running out of tears and pulling away. “you’re a shit.”
“—! yeah. okay…”
“you’re the shittiest.”
“mm-hmm, whatever you say, sweets.”
and that night, following ‘whatever you say’ rule, he’s sleeping on the couch.
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scintillyyy · 1 month
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can you really talk about tim's tendency to idolize and place dick on a pedestal and his semi-entitlement to understanding dick without also talking about dick's tendency to project his own feelings and insecurities onto tim and also his semi-entitlement to his right to try and micromanage how tim should feel and react about things. i, personally, cannot.
#dick and tim#anyways trust me when i say that none of this is meant in a negative way because this is what i Like about them lmao#forever thinking of the M/F fight where dick expects that tim will go alone with his line of thinking just because he says so#and is shocked when tim doesn't and instead has his own thoughts and feelings abt the matter#and babs has to tell him that tim isn't him & had a fundamentally different experience to him#it's like hmmm very realistic to me#the way they do this to each other in a way that almost is depersonalizing but like isn't actually#it's more just that they understand each other so well most of the time that it's easy to forget that they're their own person#with their own thoughts and feelings#like hm. there is something very realistically siblings about it in that#older siblings do tend to try and dominate the relationship with their thoughts and feelings because#their first memories are of being expected to lead their sibling and the sibling usually comes at a time when the older sib is v possessive#so the older sibling conceives the younger sibling as belonging to them and being kind of a hm extension of them vs their own person#meanwhile the younger sibling has no knowledge of a life where the older sibling doesn't exist#and the younger sibling's experience is that of observation of the older sibling from basically the very first day of life#so the younger sibling will often see and perceive the older sibling in very interesting ways#they're always learning something with thay observation good or bad#and thus probably develop more instrinsic understanding than even the parents do#and conflict comes because each is their own person but it's hard to see them that way sometimes#anyways there's also another thread where for dick it's hard to conceptualize tim's family of origin as real compared to them#but that's like mainly headcanon just know i'm right and it's interesting
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novantinuum · 26 days
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the longer I’m in this fandom the more alien I’ve decided Steven eventually becomes over time as he ages
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kakyogay · 1 month
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I did the thinbg, I made a modern/anthro/whatever au to project all my gay little headcanons on
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(gay little headcanons not included because I haven't planned stuff for all of them)
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shoverse · 8 months
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nsfw — okay but imagine catboy! minho who's so, so sensitive at every touch. minho! who blushes at any little brush of his bare skin, whimpering slightly and avoiding eye contact. minho! who fights strings of mewls threatening to fall from his mouth when you drag your finger painfully slow across his precious little dick, who gives in and lets them bubble up his throat and spill out, music to your ears. minho! who clenches and unclenches his fists and squeezes his eyes shut when you reward your pretty kitty for always being so obedient and listening to you. minho! whose mind goes all fuzzy and glittery under your warm touch, and his skin is so hot, so hot and he needs you to make it better. minho! who needs you, so fucking bad it drives him insane. heat pools in his stomach and he knows it's only you that can fix it. minho! who cries after he's cum and buries his head in your chest when he's regained his senses, flushed and embarrassed, burrowing into you as you whisper in his ears. minho! who falls asleep curled up next to you, soft purrs escaping from his lips as he floats in and out of consciousness. that is all.
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mrsrookhunt · 10 months
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TO ADD TO THIS POST!!
Rook has two older siblings, and three younger, right? That conveniently goes along with the point system in Chess.
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So we can actually guess which sibling is which.
Either King or Queen is the oldest (assuming King)
Rook
Knight
Bishop
Pawn
So anyways enjoy that knowledge.
@neige-leblanche you inspired part two to this. I knew about it earlier but I was keeping it short and sweet lol.
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ladyofthenoodle · 7 months
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the funny thing about loneliness is that it feeds itself. that if you’re rejected and ridiculed and isolated by your peers you start to shut yourself off so much that you have a hard time connecting even when you want to. that it starts by being disliked but turns you into the person that dislikes. that it makes it hard to be open and genuine and affectionate with anyone and that prevents you from making future bonds. it’s uncomfortable to even try to do the things you need to do to make friends.
but sometimes it just takes one person to break that. and that’s who alya was for marinette and that’s who marinette was for toxinelle. because you need someone to like you so much that they can teach you how to do it again. that they can make you feel safe liking them too, even if you didn’t at first. and i think it’s beautiful that alya taught marinette so much that marinette was able to teach even herself 🥺
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starflungwaddledee · 6 months
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what is the name of the awtdy au? it looks to be an acronym of some sort
(any more stuff about the au in general is welcomed)
correct! here's the two page comic i made to answer this question instead of just typing out five words like a normal person because i am nothing if not committed!
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mars-ipan · 9 days
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happy birthday you weird little freak. it's finals season so i can't afford to make a full drawing for u rn but i can at least give you your favorite thing in the world
bonus drawing + og imgs under the cut
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cannot believe that crucified!komaeda is the cuntiest i've ever drawn him. call it divine inspiration
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loud-whistling-yes · 2 months
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so as literally everyone following me in the past 24 hours knows, im fucking obsessed with her. take her shes everything i have
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rottenpumpkin13 · 9 days
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Okay but can we get Angeal and Sephiroth fluff?
I don't know if this is fluff, but it's definitely "Two idiots that don't know they're in love" lmao.
• Angeal notices Sephiroth struggle while his hands are occupied, strands of hair falling into his eyes. Tentively, he moves behind him, reaching into Sephiroth's back pocket, where he knows his friend keeps a spare hair tie. Angeal gathers Sephiroth's hair at the nape of his neck gently, hoping his friend can't feel his breath on the back of his neck—spoiler: he can and it's entirely Angeal's fault that Sephiroth's skin is goose-flecked beneath his uniform. Once his hair is tied, Sephiroth thanks him. Angeal's finds his own "No problem" entirely ironic, because whatever the hell he feels pooling in his stomach is a problem.
• Angeal has this habit—annoying habit, according to Genesis—of holding a pen between his lips when he's engrossed in typing. Sephiroth finds it annoying too—annoyingly distracting. They're supposed to be going over assignment plans, but Sephiroth can't help but be distracted by the way Angeal rolls the pen between his teeth, sighing and stretching whenever he briefly breaks his concentration. Sephiroth can't concentrate, and half wishes Genesis were there to tell Angeal to "quit it."
Sephiroth realizes he's been staring when Angeal suddenly lifts his gaze, causing Sephiroth to hastily clamp his mouth shut with an embarrassingly audible click of his teeth.
• Angeal assists Sephiroth with an exercise during a training session that requires him to hold Sephiroth's waist. The proximity proves to be more distracting than helpful for both of them. Angeal tries to divert the attention from his red cheeks by commenting about how hot it is in the training room, and that maybe the air conditioning is broken. Meanwhile Sephiroth finds it impossible to concentrate when Angeal— shirtless and sweaty because the goddess doesn't help at a time like this—is gripping him firmly around the waist. Sephiroth thinks his mind is broken, because there is no way his mind is going in that direction right now.
• Angeal and Sephiroth's break falls on the same day, so they decide to have lunch at Sephiroth's place. Sephiroth helped Angeal cook, and afterward they find themselves sharing Sephiroth's bed.
Although neither of them is asleep, each pretends otherwise. Angeal lies awake, wondering whether Sephiroth's rolling over and burying his face into his neck was intentional. He wonders if what he's doing is wrong as his hand hesitantly trails down Sephiroth's bare back before curling around his waist. He steals glances at Sephiroth. He likes him when he's like this—his hair messily tied back, wearing nothing but pajama pants. Meanwhile, Sephiroth is wide awake, wondering why the hell Angeal's heart is beating so fast.
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