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#he's so boyfriend coded
ghouljams · 14 days
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gaz does indeed fuck with some things a little Too Hard. you bring up smth and he'd already got a full list on it, done his research, and just smiled when you give him a look about it
gaz is a little unhinged and I love him for it
You mention a kink to Gaz and he will have a powerpoint prepared and ready to go through the finer points of said kink in 48 hours. He's signed you both up for a class on the kink. He's bookmarked toys. He's committing the weekend to exploring this kink, testing it out to see if it's something y'all wanna keep doing.
He's doing research, he's conducting experiments, he's devoting his life to making sure you get every pleasure you could want and that includes trying any kink you express even a passing interest in.
He's insane. He's the perfect man. He's forging your signature on a marriage certificate and adding you to his health insurance. He's sending you ill-advised selfies and dick pics from the field. He's dressing you up in cute little outfits. He's biting your thighs hard enough to bruise. He's got the best aim with a flogger in three countries.
Don't run baby, he'll give chase.
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iguessricciardo · 8 months
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reigningmax · 2 years
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kellypiquet: The penguin took his flamingo out to party🦩
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raulfernandez · 8 months
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I think about this Luca so much
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smileysvech · 1 year
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it’s been 141 days since the brunch video of andrei and I am still not normal about it
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gojosbf · 1 month
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no you don't understand i am OBSESSED i need him sooooo bad
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dilfbuck · 2 months
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eddie diaz + text posts
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90ekz · 4 months
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“WE AINT GOOD-GOOD, BUT WE STILL GOOD”
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debrief: when your ex-boyfriend ony comes down with a cold, you clock into your nurse shift, as well as resolving some old feelings.
tags: black!fem!reader, sickfic but like.. not, use of the n word, make-ups and break-ups, you make ony nervoussss 🥹, implied eremin (i love them), pure fluff, healthy communication cs ik some of y’all be bashin niggas heads in
an: bringing in the new year with some fluff !! i love you guys, and may 2024 bring everything you desire in abundance <3
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ex-boyfriend!ony who was so heartbroken when y’all split, but knew it was for the best. he didn’t wanna drag you down with all his mess, (even if you insisted over and over that you were okay) and you were busy trying to get your masters. even through this, close contact was kept, and y’all leaned on each other for support.
that’s why it was such a shock when connie and jean had let it slip that he’d been sick for 3 days. you sat on the notion, wondering why he didn’t come to you or even say anything, and waited for a call, but when none came after a few hours, you were dialing his number harshly into your phone and letting it ring with a scowl on your face.
“onyankopon.” you spit over the phone, hearing him sputter at the use of his full name. dull music played in the background, and you could swear you hear other voices, hushed.
“h-hey mama, what’s goin on?” ony refused to let his composure slip, all his boys were over and he had told them that he had stopped fuckin’ with you. they all opted to come over to chill (smoke) even while he was down with a real bad cold. he caved and took a few hits before deciding that his lungs weren’t strong enough right now, and passing the spliff to connie wordlessly.
“you got something you wanna tell me?” you sat patiently, giving him the opportunity to tell the truth before jumping to conclusions. maybe there was a reason for it, everything happens for a reason, right?
“uh…nah i been chillin—hold up.” your eyebrow jumped at his labored breathing mixed with the sound of him hushing someone in the background before pressing the phone back to his ear. “anyways. im good, nothing to tell you, im cool. you cool?” your suspicion grew at his constant throat clearing and groans.
“you a damn lie.” before he could even respond, you were hanging up the phone and two beep sounds rung in his head. he tried to call back twice before getting a notification that you’d left home and were on the pathway to his house. the drive was only about 10 minutes, and knowing you, you’d be here in 5.
“aw shit—all y’all gotta go.” ony stumbled to his feet, ushering connie, eren, armin, and jean out of their seated positions and towards the front door. “man i was just getting high, the fuck goin’ on?” eren mumbles lightly, placing his jacket around armin’s shoulders and finishing packing his bag.
“someone’s coming over, c’mon.”
“who bruh?”
“y/n nigga, i think she knows im sick. y’all gotta go, now.” the whole group erupts in protests of ‘i thought y’all were done’ and ‘don’t kick us out for that, man!’ but ony didn’t care. he hadn’t seen you in person for a while, and he still needed to cover his tracks. the whole group rolls their eyes, save for connie and jean, who looked like they’d seen a ghost.
“connie, jean, why y’all look like that? what did y’all do?”
“it was him!” jean points to connie, completely throwing him under the bus. connie almost protests until he sees the sour look on ony’s face, and they’re scattering out the door with ‘im sorry’s’ flaking from their lips, leaving armin and eren to snicker under their breath.
“you said you were done with her, why now?”
“as much as i would love to give you an in-depth synopsis on my relationship status, i really don’t have time for allat right now.”
eren rolls his eyes, his attitude shown clear on his face. he wasn’t the biggest fan of ony’s relationship with you, considering that he’s the one who has to hear all the bullshit between you two. armin intertwines his pinkies with eren, an easy soother to his irritation.
“if i have to hear about this shit later, i’ll kill you.”
with reluctance, the couple left—armin apologetically excusing eren’s rudeness—and ony was left to spray fabreeze for the weed smell, and splash cold water on his face to hopefully extinguish his up-ticking fever, just in time for your harsh knocks to come on the door.
ony opened it, albeit barely enough for you to see his flushed face. he was feeling real feverish now….
“you ain’t tell me you was coming over.”
“i don’t have to tell you. open this damn door and stop playin wit me.” ony gulps as he unlocks the chain on the door and sees you fully. all you had on was his hoodie that he was sure you said you were gonna give back, and some nike pro shorts that he couldn’t see. you held a bag of unknown contents in your hand. you eyed him up and down before stepping inside like you owned the place.
he loved when you did that shit, this man is down bad.
you twirled the string of his sweatpants between your freshly done nails, and ony swears his temperature went up 10 degrees. you had this look in your eye that was the epitome of concern and irritation having a fist fight.
“so when were you gonna tell me that you were sick?”
“i wasn’t. i didn’t want you to worry about it, but the opptastic duo just had let you know, i guess.” ony followed as you proceeded deeper in the house, but you paused as you entered the living room. your eyebrows furrowed and your nose crinkled.
“what’s that smell?”
ony gulped, just playing shrugging and playing dumb. the cloud of fabreeze hadn’t really covered the weed smell all the way, and he was sure that you were about to bust him for smoking while he was sick, and he really wasn’t tryna hear all that at the moment. he was ready to get in his bed (preferably with you in it..)
“do not play wit me, what is that japanese cherry blossom shit im smelling?” you threw your keys and bag down and paced around the living room, flipping over pillows and looking under couch cushions. ony protested, promising that he didn’t know what you were talking about, and thought to himself that you were just smelling yourself.
until you pulled an empty cart refill wrapper from beneath the cushion.
aw shit.
you looked at him like he was a dumbass—which he was—before watching him smack his teeth and snatch the wrapper from your hand begrudgingly. the words “CHERRY GLAZE” in bold lettering burned his eyes, before vaguely remembering that armin had switched out his liquid before he’d left.
ony teetered on the truth, but he knew you’d be pissed about him having his boys over when he was clearly sick, so he settled on a lil white lie.
“oh, that’s uh—that’s some of my old shit.”
“if i’m recalling correctly, aren’t you the one that said that you didn’t like smoking that ‘fruity shit’?” ony cleared his throat—in a way he only does when he lies—before just grunting in response.
“and even if you didn’t say that, you hate cherry flavored anything, so that begs the question… what bitch was smoking this shit on your couch?” you jabbed your freshly done pointer nail into his chest, feeling his breath stutter under your touch.
he was caught between a rock and a hard place, and figured he’d just tell you the truth, even if you’d get mad.
“basically, the boys came over and eren brought his lil boyfriend or whatever he is—”
“wait, eren’s gay?”
“apparently. anyways, his name is armpit… or was it arm and hammer… whatever sum like that, and he was smoking his cart and replaced the liquid on the couch and i guess the wrapper fell between the cushions. no bitches were over here, i swear.” ony holds his hands up in defense, reassuring you that he was telling the truth. you smiled, as you believed him regardless. you knew he didn’t roll like that anyway.
“bae, relax. i believe you, i was just tryna see you sweat. just sit down, i bought you some soup.” you smiled at him with all your teeth, and ony was sure that he fell in love all over again. he missed you more than words could explain, and he just wanted you to come home again.
he finally let himself relax and he slumped onto the couch, his headache hammering against the back of his eyes. you took a seat on the ottoman next to him, unpacking his favorite potato soup and crackers. you crush up the crackers in the soup and stir, just like he likes, and unscrew the cap of his blue fanta.
“i think—no, i’m already in love with you. i dont think i ever stopped.” ony mutters as you spoon feed him and he has the urge to cry. you were always so gentle and caring with him, and you’ve never stopped, regardless of what the relationship status was. that’s what he loved most about you—it didn’t matter what happened between you too, if he needed you, you were there.
he missed you so, so bad.
“stop talking with your mouth full, you’re gonna get soup on your new carpet.” you attempted to brush off his words, and the way that they were making your face heat up.
“fuck the carpet. i’ve never been so serious in my life, mama. i love you more than you know. ‘just want you to come back to me.”
you two broke up because you mutually needed space and time to yourselves. it was an agreement, yet neither of you committed to it for more than a week. before you knew it, you were back texting him good morning, as he was texting you good night. all you wanted was to be his girlfriend again, but you wanted to give him the space he needed.
you set the spoon and soup aside, watching the way ony’s deep brown eyes twinkle under the low light of the living room.
“ony, i want to give you your space, that’s the whole reason we broke up to begin with. you deserve that.”
“i had enough space. you not living here no more, not being up under me when i sleep, not kissing me when i wake up, only seeing you at parties, that’s space, and i’m real tired of it,” ony laces his fingers with yours, kissing the back of your knuckles as he used to do.
“i want you back. i want you back in my face all the time, i wanna wake up mad cause you took all the covers, but then it goes away when i see how cute you look all bundled up. i want my initials on your nails again, i want you. i need you, baby. come home to me, please—“
“okay, okay! that’s enough, you’re embarrassing me!” you hide your head in the crook of his neck, suddenly feeling bashful about the way he was relaying his apparent undying love to you. everything he does flusters you still. you don’t miss the way his hands grasp you even tighter than they used to, if that’s even possible.
“i just want you to promise me that i’m not hurting you.”
“you could never. my perfect girl would never.” ony places a kiss on the top of your head, making sure to hold you even tighter. you choose not to mention his sniffles at the current moment, and let yourself be lost in his love.
“i missed you too, ony.”
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iheartkirkhammett · 7 months
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he's so boyfriend it hurts
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beanghostprincess · 7 months
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i like acesan because i believe sanji would fucking lose it with ace being a good brother. it would instantly make him fall in love with him. ace being kind to luffy and loving him to death would have sanji on his knees quicker than anything.
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foursaints · 6 months
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talking about the emptiness of barty’s character in canon is making me sad so
Just Barty Crouch Jr Things™️
valedictorian but once fell asleep while dumpster diving for a single unopened blister pack of xanax
very… dexterous? good with anything precise that involves his hands. this means classical piano but also rolling freakishly perfect joints
major bad influence older cousin energy
like he’s driving you to soccer practice with one tattooed arm slung over the passenger seat, ray-bans dangling. he’s bitching about what’s on the radio. his random tinder date is on her phone in the backseat
singlehandedly keeping Liquid Death in business
that fall out boy katy perry cover where it’s like “i kissed a boy (to start a fight) and i liked it (he punched me 😈)”
pierced his dick. sorry
if james is a sports bro with a heart of gold then barty is the polar opposite of this. he looks like the sensitive alternative loner boy and has the soul of a douchey early 2000s dj who will steal money out of your purse after a one-night stand
but he’s also secretly sensitive. okay
””u up””
has exactly two modes: 1) listening to the cure 2) No Hands (feat Roscoe Dash) - Waka Flocka Flame
neither goth nor emo sorry that would be too much work. his edginess is both unintentional and completely effortless
INSANELY observant
has a knight complex but slightly to the left. had to be reasoned out of killing evan’s situationships with a hammer (chivalrously!)
barty has really loud ENERGY but his actual personality is pretty quiet and calculating. however he WILL nonchalantly pick regulus up at the most inconvenient times, everyone is screaming, reg is screaming… he thinks it’s soooo funny
he always smells the way that sparkling water tastes. like….. inexplicably clean
your bartender coworker who is always in the stockroom coaching his adorable tiny mom through her divorce over facetime while exasperatedly hitting a juul
could potentially have a heart under all that grime (maybe put him through a car wash?)
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in a world full of boys, he’s a gentleman 🥹
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iguessricciardo · 1 year
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baby-yongbok · 4 months
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I don't have any actual words to explain how I feel about these photos. I'm simply melting.
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meep-meep-richie · 3 months
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he went from boyfriend to husband
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d4jamso · 1 year
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pretty boyyy(pretty boyyy) don't speak(don't speaakkj) you pretty boyss(pretty boyyysss) are only good for oneee thingggggg
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