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#he’s giving slutty drunk pirate
delicatereader · 6 months
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No way (part 2) - Anakin x reader
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• brother's bestfriend trope
• summary: Anakin and you had a moment before, now you're friend invites you to their party but you must have dates...
• warnings: idk jealousy, mentions of sex, swears
• a/n: I got carried away with their friendships but idc. I used Taylor, Gracie and Harry bc I couldnt think names. I havent proof read it and I'm trying to make a flashback to their kiss. The party should be interesting...
"Party at mine, tonight" Stephen announces as he walks into the living room. All of you were hanging out (meaning scrolling through your phones and talk shit). Of course Ben and Anakin were in attendance, your friend froup was small but not too small. In addition of you, Ben and Ani, Taylor and Gracie (your besties), and of course Ethan and Stephen. You, tay and grace have been inseparable since you could remember. Ethan and Stephen came into your lives later (through Ben's college experience).
Anyway, Stephen continues to provide you the info for the party. "It's gonna be so cool, dark lighting, scary but hot costumes"
"Costumes?" Gracie interrupts
"Costumes. For you girls, I would recommend a pirate or a slutty nurse!" he advises. You hear Anakin's chuckle across the room. You roll your eyes at him, "speak, ass" you push him to continue.
"Ok ok fine!" he responds
"Drinks provided, strong ones provided. Also bring dates." he informs
You freeze at the word 'dates'
"Dates?" you repeat shrugging
"Dates." he confirms
Gracie has been flirting with Ethan for a while now, you've been sensing some sparks and signals, so they'll go together. As for Tay, your brother will follow her everywhere and try to persuade her into going with his charms. Stephen gets dates easy, that guy is the definition of a good looking frat boy man.
"These four are set I guess." Stephen breaks the thoughts in the air
"What?" Tay speaks up
"I mean, Gracie and Ethan are going together" our heads turn to their blushing faces. "I'm assuming Ben is going to annoy till you go with him" he grins in your brother's direction.
"No, not this time" she claims
"We'll see" my brother replies with a wide smirk on his face
"So you two who are you going with?" Ethan breaks his silence to ask you and Anakin
"I don't know" Anakin replies not caring about it
"Why don't you two go together" Gracie shoots
"Yea you two go together" Ethan agrees with Gracie. Soon everyone shakes their heads in agreement, except you two.
"No way I'm going with him" you reject
"And no way I'm going with her" he supports you
The last thing you want is something like what happend yesterday to happend again. You told him to stay away from you and that's what he is doing. He looks just as disinterested as you in this suggestion.
"Ughh" Taylor complains in the background
Suddenly you have an idea. You dive back into your phone and search through your contacts to text Harry, a "friend" of yours. He's had a crush on you for years and a few weeks ago you slept with him, it was a drunk decision.
"Then who are you going with? huh?" Stephen asks with a worrying look, not for you but for his party.
"I have an idea" you respond. Suddenly, Tay and Gracie jump from the bean bags on the floor to your side in the sofa.
"No, is that who I think it is" Taylor squeals whilst whispering
"I don't know, you tell me" you smirk answering her question
"Come on, isn't he dating someone?" Gracie asks
"No, not since...you know." you reply hinting at your night with Harry
"God he's so- " Taylor mutters
Ben clears his throat and furrows his eyebrows towards me and Tay. Anakin takes a quick glance up at you before focusing back on Ben's little interruption.
"Shut the fuck up!" Tay yells, causing everybody to laugh at Ben
"Who are you talking about?" Ethan asks
"No one" you shoot out, a but too fast
"I'll give you a hint" Tay speaks up
"No!" you warn her, but before you could interrupt she spills-
"Tall, brunette, greeny blue eyes, cheshire smile and HOTTT!" she said the "HOTT" way too aggressively and loud. She wasn't wrong though.
"Harry? You fucked Harry! Like Harry Crest?!" Stephen explodes out of surprise
"What! you fucked him? I left you with him thinking he will take you home safely" Ben follows Stephen's path of emotions
"Oh he took her home alright!" Gracie mutters under her breath
"Shut up Gracie! I don't even know if he's gonna be there" you reply to this hysteria
"Oh he's gonna be there!" Stephen says
"There's no party without him" he continues
Anakin again looks up when Stephen mentions him, but this time staring into you deeply
"We'll see" you conclude the conversation and head to the kitchen to find a snack.
You hear some steps behind, it was Anakin
"You fucked Harry Crest?" He asks plainly
"What happend to hello? How are you?" you tease him (taking inspo from the tiktok audio of course)
"Hello you slept with Harry?" He repeats
"Ummm- yea" you respond
He pauses for way too long, looking at you with confusion
"First of all its none of your business and second of all why do you care?" You shoot at him
"I don't care!" he states
"Ok you don't care" you repeat his answer to annoy him. You move past him and grab and apple.
"I mean it must be easy for you to get a date? right?" you ask him
"Oh yea? why is that?" he looks at you with his tongue pressed onto his cheeks inside his mouth.
God he's so hot
"I mean come on-" you you wave your hand around loosely in his direction
"Come on what?" he moves closer to you
You hesitate to respond, giving him more confidence to close the space between you
"Come one what sweetheart?" He towers you trying to push out an answer
Fortunately you hear your phone buzz, it was Harry. You step away from Anakin and attend the phone. You press it to your ear whilst looking at Anakin. He lowers his head and let's out a chuckle.
"Hi Harry!" you speak into your phone. You continue to have your conversation standing infront of Anakin staring at him.
"So I was thinking...are you going to the Stephen's party tonight?" you slip in the question
"Yes" Harry replies
"Good cause I need a dancing buddy" you smile (kind of blushing) and speak into the phone
"I'm free" he replies whilst letting out a chuckle
"Alright I'll see you there" you nod your head still smiling uncontrollably
You end the phone and tilt your head up to look at Anakin, who wholeheartedly hated that phone call but found it amusing in his own way.
"Sorry I have to get ready" you clear your throat moving towards him. In response he hums.
"I have a date" you smirk at him in victory
He looks up and down at you as you leave the kitchen, "ok" he mutters under his breath with a questioning smirk across his face.
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tricornonthecob · 2 months
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Will someone please get this boy a Xanax
Felicity Steals An Entire Fucking Horse: The Movie (2005)
pt1 pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5 pt6 pt7 pt8 pt9
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"Jesus Christ why do I keep doing this fuck fuck fuck fuck"
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Mom-Friend Ben is having his daily aneurysm a little early today
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Yes its supposed to make him look slovenly and he's a dickhead but if his shirt were clean, this is just the Slutty Historical Novel look.
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you know maybe if your first interaction of the day wasn't immediate and unprovoked violence, the horse might be more inclined to working with you and then you wouldn't have such awful buyer's remorse.
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Finally, a task that Ferrari was actually bred for!
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You ought to be more mindful of the chaotic good and lawful neutrals hanging out in your weed gardens before you go yelling things like that, Nye.
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"No, Felicity, I was trying to not die."
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The Ben/Felicity ship dynamic is The Anxious One That Survives To At Least Act 3 Of A Horror Movie and Absolutely Zero Self-Preservation Instincts. Also girl what the fuck is going on with your bangs.
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"Girl what the fuck are you talking about that's a domestic animal that wasn't even feral"
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Yes, that's a valid point and an important Life Lesson, but I feel like there's a better and more immediate way of introducing to her the concept of Consequences In Horse Theft. Such as "Hey did you know this is the 18th century and what you're doing looks exactly like Horse Theftin' and the punishment for Horse Theftin' is probably death by hanging hahahahahahaha I knew."
Also like, can you image. "I disguised myself in your clothes so I could trespass and steal a horse, then brought you to the scene of my doings instead of just telling you outright, potentially implicating you in crimes punishable by death."
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...Felicity did you not just see the horse run away. Did you hear the part about "Give the horse to anyone who can ride her" and stop listening to all the parts about him saying "never come back," she's probably safe from that rn.
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"Neither are all the people your family enslave, but that's another story."
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That is the look of "...I really. REALLY. Don't have the stomach to be the punishable-by-death crime secret keeper."
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And that is the look of "Oh, Goddammit, I'm about to be the punishable-by-death crime secret keeper, aren't I."
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"Go down to the creek and buy it off the Dutch pirates!"
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what the fuck is she huffing.
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wow way to interrupt an outrageously shippable moment. Christ this really is the superior ship.
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Annabelle you do realize adding "Forbidden Romance" elements to the ship only makes it stronger.
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Felicity I love you but your ADHD-ass is so dense sometimes.
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"We are going to die on this hill with all the social awareness of a bitchy potato."
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She's a loyalist to you.
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When the fourth graders debate politics on the playground and it gets dramatic.
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she's either highly amused, screaming internally, or a little day drunk. Maybe all three!
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awwww the loyalty themes!
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"Bitsy!"
"Oi, fuck off, yeah?"
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blackestnight · 2 years
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10: care and handling
Prompt: Channel
Word count: 1377
An indirect sequel to “Of the Silver Lining” from last year, aka the guiding principle for this (after a conversation with @aethernoise​) was “as the layers come off, the slutty dapper lesbian pirate levels increase,” aka Hanami vs Ishgardian formalwear (ft. boning channels).
Suggestive, not explicit, but still read at your own discretion.
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“Having trouble?” she asked, with her smirk turned toward the ceiling. Her own hands were busy untying the scarf she’d had tucked into her collar, and Aymeric’s fingers fumbled with the toggles on her coat.
“Not at all,” he murmured, and ducked to mouth at the underside of her jaw, which didn’t help either of them.
She managed to slip the scarf free with a tug, the silk sliding easily over her skin, and leaned back on her hands to give Aymeric better access to her front. Not that he should have had any issues with her jacket—he’d helped her put it on, and everything under it besides—but he was obviously distracted. She looked down to give him a teasing reminder to get on with it and found his mouth to meet hers instead; when she bit his lip, gentle, she got an appreciative groan.
There were few things Hanami hated more than strange hands on her body, and once she’d had the money for it, one of the first things she’d decided about her wardrobe—civilian clothes and armor—was that she wouldn’t own anything she couldn’t put on or take off herself. It was an expensive resolution, especially the armor, which required careful, clever engineering to provide the protection and quality of traditional plate without needing an army of squires to assemble it. Everyday wear was easier, even the formalwear, since she didn’t favor the heavy sculpting or hidden closures some of the older Ishgardian noblewomen liked in their dresses.
Which wasn’t to say it wasn’t nice, sometimes, to have help. For given values of helpful. She knew Aymeric’s hands as well as her own. Better, maybe, with all the quiet ways he put them on her, brushing her back and shoulders when they walked, long fingers carding through her hair when they dozed in front of the fire—
His fingers, which finally slid free the silver catches down the front of her jerkin and began to work on the hooks underneath.
“Mm,” she said, as he leaned back enough to watch his hands. “Leave those, let me help you.” He’d stripped out of his gloves already but his cuffs were long and stiff, and she wanted, badly, to see his hands on her, and her hands on his wrists. His coat clinked when he moved, covered with medals and pins and all kinds of glittery nonsense.
He worked much faster when he was focused, and the hooks were easier to undo besides; already the jerkin was sagging. His teeth glittered like extra trimmings when he smiled up at her. “Let me have my fun,” he said, and ran his hands all the way up her shirtfront, over her stomach and her breasts, to slide it off her shoulders. Even through her layers his skin felt hot. She shivered when the jacket fell to the bedspread and cool air found its way over her neck—her jerkin was so warm, thick stamped leather and thicker pads of cotton underneath. She leaned forward to let it fall off her wrists and fling it blindly toward the chair by the fire, the one she’d never once seen anyone sit in but only seemed to exist to hold clothes before they were starched and pressed and hung back in place.
Aymeric took the chance to spread his hands over the small of her back as she moved, digging his fingers in to let the friction untuck her shirt from her waistband, and she pressed the edges of her teeth to his cheek when she grinned. “Too drunk for buttons?” she asked, sliding her own hands between them to undo the row of buttons up her front.
His voice rumbled low and his breath smelled of wine when he laughed against her horn. “Tipsy,” he countered.
She had the advantage of not being drunk or tipsy, so she wasted no time unbuttoning her shirt, and with her hands so close she took the chance to unfasten his jacket too; meanwhile his hands worked around her waistband, tugging her shirt free. “Move,” she said, reaching behind herself to tug at his arms, and when he released her she slid free the buttons on his cuffs and shoved the whole glittering jacket down his arms.
He laughed as he pulled his arms free and tossed the coat behind him to land with a whump. She let him ease her shirt off, too, careful of her arm even with how his eyes wandered, tracing a burning trail down the line of her neck to where the neckline of her undershirt vanished beneath her corset.
Hanami slid to the floor, standing between Aymeric’s knees where he’d been crouched at the bedside, until he stood too, his hands tracing back up from her hips to her chest, lingering over the corset’s top, the calluses of his fingers catching on the soft lace.
“Oh, you like this,” she said, and arched her back just enough to have his knuckles brush the top of her chest through her shirt. His drunken—tipsy—flush was clearly visible creeping up his neck, but his eyes were bright and clear.
“Forgive me,” he said, over-enunciating in his effort to keep from grinning, which failed regardless. “I so rarely get to see you in anything so embellished.” His grip was gentler than his look when he cupped his hands over her waist once more, encouraging her to turn around, which she did with a roll of her eyes while she unhooked the waistband of her pants. The corset was frillier than anything she’d choose on her own, edged with lace and covered with a floral pattern that could have come from a grandmother’s sofa, but it had been relatively inexpensive for how sturdy it was—and she didn’t wear it often, anyway, for the simple reason that she didn’t need to; most of her clothes were loose-fitted, and she could get away with a plain undershirt, but some things just looked lumpy and awkward without a corset underneath. “It is a novelty I intend to appreciate.”
He was fumbling again, with the laces, and with her back to him she couldn’t see his face but she was sure it was on purpose; he’d hooked his fingers under the ribbons and he was just—playing, running his knuckles against her spine, and the touch pulled something taut in the pit of her stomach. “Can you appreciate faster,” she said, “or are you too tipsy for that?”
His laugh, low and warm, pressed into her hair as he bent to kiss her head, stoked the heat in her gut that had nothing to do with wine. “As you wish, my lord,” he teased her, pulling the bow free and loosening the laces at the middle of her back.
With his hands so close to her skin, tucked between the bones of the corset and the bones of her ribs, there was no hiding the way her breath caught.
With the laces pulled loose there was room enough to unhook the busk at the front of the corset, and she pulled it open and off with less care than she could have; the motion rucked up her undershirt and pulled it free of her trousers, which were already hanging unhooked around her hips. The corset hit the floor with a thunk and she could just imagine, when she turned on him, with her shirt already loose at the neck and her pants undone, what she looked like.
Even if she couldn’t, the slow, deliberate trail of Aymeric’s eyes, heavy and welcome as his hands, would have given her a good idea.
“You,” he said, a little too genuinely delighted to pull off his wolfish smile, “liked that.”
“Shut up and get your vest off,” Hanami told him, already reaching for the buttons, “unless you want me to ruin it.”
If he had any more teasing to offer, she didn’t give him the chance to use it; with the buttons undone and the vest discarded she pulled him down by the front of his shirt to cover his mouth with her own, at least until she pulled him up onto the bed, and by then she’d put his clever tongue to better use and he had nothing to say at all.
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Note
Hey Moosh! I know it said your requests are closed for now but I just wanted to maybe put this idea on your radar because I know I'll end up forgetting to ask later! I think I also understand the rules and I didn't see anything against what I'm gonna request but if you need to ignore this ask thats totally fine I 100% get it
I'm a big fan of pegging and I'm really looking for Shanks with a GN, or Trans male character that tops Shanks. Like I just feel like Shanks probably has tried it, absolutely loves it and at some point would bring up that he wants to experience It with his SO. Sometimes I switch between Shanks being a demanding power bottom. If he's going that way I'd love to see him go to town riding his SO and tell them how good they're making him feel. I also think he could be just a straight up bottom that relishes in the freedom of handing over control to you. Like toss him on the bed, toy with him first and then teasingly demand he fuck back onto you in doggystyle until you decide thats enough of admiring his ass and that you're gonna hold him down between the shoulder blades and take over. Either way? I think Shanks would really enjoy bottoming.
Ah thank you I hope I did this right. Stay happy and healthy!
Bottom Shanks👏 bottom Shanks bottom Shanks 👏bottom Shanks 👏
I've been holding onto this request for quite some time in my drafts and decided to go on and post it, hope you enjoy its kind of a bit all over the place 😅
(This work includes gender neutral reader and with the use of vague language this work can be interpreted as either reader using a strap or using the 'ol natural method depending on you the reader's personal preference to pound our favorite redhead to oblivion :))
(NSFW under the cut as always)
You weren't exactly sure what it was about him - one of the Yonko of the sea with tens of hundreds of islands of territory flying his flag, a master of conquers to send and entire battlefield to its knees in matter of seconds, a man so skilled in communicating that can just about talk to anyone and be convincing and reasonable with that the World Government is willing to hear him out when times are reaching their most desperate, a very powerful, intelligent captain and potentially being very deadly if you get on his bad graces who once served on Gol D. fucking Roger's crew as a kid - all of that and still knowing personally everything he's capable of, but behind close doors or whatever ally he drags you to out of the loud drunk noises of the crew croaking and singing in whatever poor bar the Red Haired pirates decided to call their home in that night, he tells you in husky whines and whispers how fucking bad he wants you to wreck his slutty ass all the way to the other side of the Grandline until he can't sit for weeks.
Fist full of bright scarlet locks you yank his head back, eyes rolling back and sharp exhale stuttering out of his throat interrupting whatever string of profanities he was just wheeze out previously. Your teeth graze down his neck and you slowly pull his head down more and more forcing him to present deeper skin of his flesh going down his shoulder to his chest where your tongue exchanges places and rolls over your teeth to give the nice fat of skin and patterning over whatever scars your tongue can trace down and across a good long several attention filled licks before trailing across to give the same attention to his nipples - that shaking a good sharp gasp out of him and leaning into more of your touch with his chest more into your face (like nice soft pillows)
The only arm he has grapples to whatever he can grasp - that being your back as with his thighs slightly shaking as he's straddled very very wide over your hips to give you such a nice view of his crouch and how his pre come leaky cock throbs and jolts around with every thrust he himself makes down onto you; which makes him only hold on even tighter not to loose any balance. His face is almost the same shade as his hair (which honestly could also be do to himself currently being very drunk but so are you so you wouldn't be surprised with how much alcohol in your system could also be reflecting on your expression that your love seems to currently lost in) his eyes never leave your face with only the exceptional eye rolling back into his head when you hit deeper in juuuust the right spot oh and of course he makes sure to tell you so you can keep hitting it just like that.
He talks. A lot. Though even out of the bedroom this of course is something everyone knows, again, Shanks is very good at communicating so of course when he's then has his head held down and ass up waiting for you to get back in him for whatever round this is because it's very easy to lose count.
Not just he talks alot he's also very teasing but that's no matter what role he takes top or bottom, he will always try to find some way to joke or tease just to revile the reaction he gets of you.
"Come on love," He shudders out with the occasional exaggerated sway of his ass from side to side, his face flushed against the sheets as he looks back to at you with smug eyes, his body his fully supported but the weight he applys to his torso as he keeps himself upright - afterall he only has the one hand and that one hand is very importantly occupied with keeping his already wrecked hole open on display in a teasing manner as you prep yourself up to go again. "-you wouldn't want to leave you're dear old captain waiting, do you?"
Pry his long toned legs alllll the way open, Shanks is rather quite flexible and he likes when you get a bit rough with him when you take exactly what you want and it doesn't matter if you're smaller or larger than him he will gladly wrapped his legs around your shoulders to give to deeper access into him.
Even if he's bottoming he still will find all kinds of ways to praise you, like telling you in whined out cries how good you're taking him, how fucking amazing you feel inside of him, how much he loves you, how dizzy you're making him from coming over and over, ect. He definitely can switch things up from being moaning mess rocking frantically into you like a bitch in heat to tenderly clasping onto your hand or your face peppering sweet kisses or rubbing his forehead against yours all while you continue to buck into him - mixed with said early praise giving things can turn tooth rotting sweet so fast.
"Make me yours, please, please." He'll whimper after awhile, clearly exhausted with his eyes hanging open by only threads after hours of non stop passionate railing.
His fist clenches onto desperately to the headboard above as he practically melts into the cupst of your hands on his hips rocking in steady rhythm back onto you each punctuated with a sharp hiss of air catapulting from his throat in shambled shapes of your name.
His back is coated in a thin layer of sweat that shines and dances along the length of his skin with every move you pound onto him in the dim light of the lamp bared witness next to the bed. Your face is tucked deep in the Yonko's shoulder, your mind hazy as you till yourself not to completely loose yourself before he does, but lucky you he is very close as he desperately is bucking into your tight grip around his cock that prevents him from meeting his climax.
"Make me take it - make me take it! Please! I'll d-do anything you ask - anything you want - I'll never come ever again if you only ask! Please, if you just let me come now!" His voice, now so frantic and wild all the previous cockiness and smug overconfidence gone and now just left with the overstimulated mess, easily forgettable that this was one of the most strongest pirates in the world beneath you given what you turned him into... your favorite version of him.
When you finally do let him come, the absolute roar he makes that echoes throughout the room and without a doubt leaks into the halls of the Red Force/or inn depending on where ever you're humping fest has taken you, you feel woozy and top heavy as your body goes slump against him and struggling to keep upright as an extreme radiance of Conquers shoots through the whole room and practically sparks out of you your own release no matter who close or far you were originally. It takes you both a moment to catch your breath together but Shanks turns his head, half of his head still engulfed by bedsheets and tangled mess of his signature hair - his non scarred eye staring up at you clouded with drunken lust, still lost in his own high that he just can't help with the matching wide grin that comes along with it.
"Oh come now, love," He struggles to chuckle out. "You know it's not polite to stare, unless you're planning on finishing what you started..."
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broodybatboy · 3 years
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ACOTAR characters during
🦇👻🎃✨ Spooky Season ✨🎃🔮💀
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ACOTAR during spooky season....🦇🎃✨
Feysand + Nyx: That Family™ Spend all their time gushing about their baby's first Halloween. Dresses up in adorable family costumes like three bears or the minions. Throw the biggest party in town complete with music, dancing, games, and elaborate decor. Definitely give out full-size candy bars.
Cassian: "this is my excuse to get naked and be annoying" Dresses up as something ridiculous that lets his nips free. Like a Greek god or a sexy fruit. "Pff. I'm not scared" *immediately screams when startled* Knows all the moves to Thriller. Starts a prank war. Acts macho but is actually a total scaredy-cat.
Nesta: witchy vibes all around. She's scary and sexy. LOVES Halloween. Dresses up like a witch with a deep V and pointy hat. Eats all the chocolate. Freaks out people by memorizing hexes and chants. Can't keep her hands off Cassian. Plans to pin him down on a pentagram and do things to him.
Azriel: the unsuspecting enthusiast. Nobody thought he would dress up but ends up with one of the best costumes. Like a cool vampire or a really hot pirate. Expert with a knife so carves the best jack-o-lanterns. Super sneaky. Loves to jump out and spook Cassian. First in line for the Haunted House. Laughs at things that should be scary. Literally nothing can scare Azriel.
Gwyn: the adorable traditionalist. Loves all the classics. Knows all the lore, history, and tons of spooky stories. Gets super excited like a child. Dresses up as a book character or something historical. Spent weeks making her own costume. Beats Azriel in the costume contest. Sings the Monster Mash and loves playing games.
Emerie: Too cool for Halloween. Content sitting by the fireplace and passing out candy. Loves cozy vibes and warm drinks. Into cult classic films. Wears a "This is my costume" t-shirts but is a good sport. The responsible one of the group and makes sure everyone is being safe and having a good time.
Mor: The Life of the Party. Loves a slutty costume moment. Goes all out with her outfit. She pretty much just wants to get drunk and party with her friends. Unfazed by the horror. You can't scare her. Literally grew up in Hell. Oh, you're dressed like a demon? I thought you were my dad.
Amren: the scary Goth babe. Absolutely terrifying. Knows all your fears. Takes the season way too seriously. Dresses up as something horrifying. Sits in a graveyard 'just for fun.' Thinks Cassian looks ridiculous and scares him all night. Terrorizes children. This is fake blood?
Lucien: the Autumnal King 🍁👑 Embraces the season and goes all out. Loves the outdoors, campfires, the smell of cinnamon. Feels nostalgic and a little bit pretentious. Almost dressed up like Beron bc what could be scarier than your trauma? He is ready for a good time and loves to party.
Elain: the pumpkin spice latte of the group. Dresses up as a cute woodland creature like a deer or a mouse. Gets freaked out by the gore and the horror. More into the cutesy side of Halloween. Loves pumpkin patches and apple picking. Bakes pumpkin-shaped cookies and apple-flavored treats
Tamlin: No one invited him. Dressed up like a werewolf. Passes out toothbrushes instead of candy. A bit of a creep. Steals candy from children. His house definitely gets TP’d and egged. Haunted by the ghost of his past failures and toxic behavior.
The House™: It’s time to shine. Turns into the Haunted House! cobwebs! pumpkins! glow in the dark bats! skeletons in every closet! Bring out the fog! Release the spiders! Blasting 🎼🔊THIS IS HALLOWEEN! THIS IS HALLOWEEN! 🎼🔊 Bryaxis...come out come out wherever you are.... (cassian shrieks in the distance)
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lonerotaku · 3 years
Text
5 o’clock
Eustass Kid x F Reader
So hi I was listening to T-Pain while cooking, so I wrote this instead of doing my college work lol I just shat it out, but let me know if I should continue it I kinda stopped at the “Floor to the dresser” part of the song. Kinda wanted to go to “Damn bae you woke me up-”
It’s 5 a.m and here you lie, alone, in the bed of Eustass Kid, captain of the Kid Pirates. Kid and the rest of the crew went out to party earlier in the night, but you weren’t really in the party mood so you stayed behind to watch the ship. You and Kid had been talking back and forth on the Den Den Mushi they left behind in case something happened on the ship, but around 3:30 he stopped picking up, probably because the conversation was getting kind of boring. HE told you that they’d be back soon hours ago, yet you’re still here in his bed alone. Originally, you had planned to sit on the deck and watch the stars, but when Kid told you he’d be there soon, you got excited and decided to wait for him in bed. Sex with Kid while he was drunk was a whole different experience and you were ready to be manhandled, but alas he never came. 
“Hey Kid shouldn’t you get that?” Killer hummed a bit as the small snail sounded off.
“She’s just gonna ask when I’m coming back again.” Kid feigned annoyance, but deep down he wanted to go back to the ship and fuck you till noon. His pride wouldn’t allow him to though, not after that emo bastard Trafalgar Law told him he was whipped and lost his touch. Kid was determined to leave when he was ready, and not on your time. Yes, he was determined, he was determined until he thought back to the beginning of your relationship when you waited up for him wearing nothing but his coat and bracelets. Memories of the downright sinful things the two of you brought a smile to his face and a forming tent in his pants. 
“Y/N is going to kill you.”
“Huh?” He was brought out of his trance by his best friend’s voice. He was confused until he noticed his pants had gotten tighter. The girls dancing around were ecstatic, thinking they had a chance with a member of the Worst Generation, but Kid was having none of it. He could practically hear your voice going ‘What is he doing..’ on repeat.
“Fuck this…”
“Finally giving in to temptation?”
“Shut the fuck up.” He could hear the smirk in that masked fucker’s voice. Kid didn’t care anymore though. He fucking needed his woman. 
When he got outside he noticed that the sun was starting to come up. 
“She’s gonna be rabid when I get there..” He mumbled to himself. Kid has never moved this fast without a damn good reason, and you were one of those reasons. 
When he got to the ship he expected you to jump him as soon as he got on-board, but the ship was silent. 
“Ohh~” He knew exactly what was happening. He rushed to his bedroom to see what sexy surprise you had planned this time, but he was thoroughly disappointed when he entered the room and saw you passed out under the blankets. He frowned to himself and scoffed. When underneath. 
“I swear if there’s another dude-,”
“Kid..?”
You sat up and yawned, letting the blanket slip off your shoulders. Kid’s frown slowly went back to his cocky grin as he drank in the sight of you in nothing but his feathered coat, your sleepy voiced and expression making it look like you’ve been fucked out of your mind.
“Fuck baby..” He said as he threw his slutty vest to the ground and began undoing his pants. When he stripped to his briefs and pinned you to the bed, you were hit with the overwhelming scent of alcohol. He’s drunk. 
“Kid-” You choked on your words as he began nipping and licking at your exposed nipples.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
You pouted for a second before jolting and grabbing his hair as he makes it down to your core and licks a stripe between your lips. It was rare that Kid gave you oral, but before you could speak, Kid had sat up, losing balance, and fell on his ass on the floor behind him.
“Shit! Baby you okay?” You quickly got up and walked over to him, crouching the meet his level. 
“M’fine. Come here.”
“Wha-”
Before you could say anything he grabbed your hips and pulled them so you hovered over his face.
“Kid wai- ahhh~”
Kid pulled your hips down and immediately began working at your hole. He positioned his non-metallic hand so that he could rub your clit with his thumb as he devoured your pussy. You whimpered out a moan and began rolling your hips to gain more friction. You felt your insides flutter as your lover maneuvered his tongue along your walls, coming shockingly close to a g-spot. Kid noticed your panting and shuddering and decided to apply a little pressure to your clit, sending you over the edge. You cried out his name as you came all while kid was lapping up your juices. 
“You didn’t get to finish..”
Kid picked you up as he stood and carried you to the dresser, pinning you between him and the surface. 
“Who said we were finished?”
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The time with the nun
Because y’all are relentless (part 2 of this post)
Ok, so Bruce did not, as some assumed, dress up as a nun. That was Tim. Now, the reason why Tim chose to dress as a nun for Halloween can be traced back to July of that year when Tim and Damian got involved in a heated theological discussion wherein Damian firmly told Tim that, as an agnostic, he was barred from dressing as a religious figure. In all honestly the situation was a bit more complicated than that -there was a wheel of cheese involved -but that’s a whole other story so let’s move on. The point is, Tim was dressed as a nun and Bruce was decidedly not. He was, in fact, dressed as a pirate.
Now, Gotham was partying like it was 1999 and the streets were teeming with drunk citizens in costumes of varying sluttiness. The bats were out patrolling in force, trying to keep in contact despite the fact that the lines kept jamming. They thought that this was due to high levels of phone use, but it was actually part of a nefarious scheme the Riddler was operating. But that comes later.
Pirate Batman... Batey? Captain Blackears? Whatever. Batman and Red Robin were teamed up for the evening, with RR patrolling the streets while Batman cruised the seas of the sky, so to speak. The comms had been jammed again (by design, you’ll recall) and B was trying to get O on the line when Riddler struck. Batman had enough time to jump out of the way, snatch up Red Robin and take cover in a nearby building. B had just managed to identify their safe haven as a Museum for model trains and realise (as you likely have as well) that that probably meant they had just walked into a trap, before they were locked in.
Batman took this with his usual grace as a father of five. He swallowed down the urge to bang his head against a wall and focused on Riddler’s voice echoing through the PA-system. There was something about being on the “wrong track” and at least three annoying riddles stuffed into the monologue before Riddler paused.
“Did you bring a nun?!”
Captain Batman rolled his eyes (he had refused the eyepatch because really Dick? You want me to limit my sight on patrol for a costume?), straightened his pirate hat, and turned to Red Robin to share an exasperated look. And also to subtly tell his son to keep up the pretense so Riddler didn’t know he had caught two bats instead of one.
Except it wasn’t his son. It was a very upset woman in her seventies who was clutching a rosary and speaking rapid... portugese?
Anyway, to summarise:
After four hours of weird train-themed traps and riddles -two of whom were solved by the nun -the Riddler was on his way to Arkham once again and a group of visiting nuns, newly reunited with their missing sister, were giving Batman the dressing down of the decade. Because, as B learned that night, nuns fear God, and only God.
They managed to keep the whole thing from becoming a massive political mess but to this day Batman refuses to come within ten miles of the small mountain town that houses that particular monastery. Ra’s figured this out once and set up a base of operations there. B sent Superman to handle it, and now Superman won’t go there either.
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alarriefantasy · 4 years
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Do you have any bottom Harry fics? I see a bottom Louis thing in your kinks but not a bottom!H Thanks for all that you do!
Hi, darling!! Here are some fic rec lists that will give you Bottom Harry even though they’re not technically titled as such! However, I made you an official list as well!!! :) 
Sub Harry Fic Rec   
Sugar Daddy Louis
Harry in Panties Fic Rec
Innocent Harry Fic Rec 
First Time Fluff 
Asshole Louis
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                                      Bottom Harry Fic Rec
In Total Darkness I, I Reach Out and Touch by AFangirlFantasy
Words: 2k
Tomorrow is a big day for Louis and his husband, and it’s because of this reason that he can’t sleep. Turns out, poor Harry can’t either.
Or a fluffy established relationship AU with some famous Harry all mixed into that.
wishing for rain as I stand in the desert by stylesoftheshire
Words: 7k
(Louis is moving out of the flat he shares with Harry because Eleanor thinks they're too co-dependent. Harry can't let him leave.)
But I'll Still Take You Home by LoadedGunn
Words: 9k
Or, Harry is 17 at a college party, and Louis is not Brian Kinney.
feels so good getting what i want. by stylescantstop
Words: 12k
Harry is a slutty yoga teacher with his sights set on Louis and Louis wants to pull that long hair of his while he fucks him really hard from behind.
If Tomorrow Never Comes... by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer
Words: 14k
Based on this Tumblr prompt: "Accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came au"
You look so beautiful in this light by hopelesswriter 
Words: 17k
Or the one in which Harry is very much pregnant, Louis loves him every day more and more, perfection is overrated and sometimes life takes beautiful turns that surprises us in the very last moment.
The Baby Whisperer by jacaranda_bloom
Words: 18k
Harry’s newborn baby is having trouble sleeping and nothing he does seems to work. Tired and alone and at his wits end, Harry is at a loss until a new neighbour arrives to turn his world upside down.
wrapped in light, in life, in love by orphan_account
Words: 19k
Of all the things to happen while taking care of his niece for a month, falling in love with his boyhood crush all over again is probably the highlight of Harry’s autumn.
Well. That, and getting pregnant.
Sail Across Me by iwillpaintasongforlou
Words: 21k
Harry is a prince that is about to be forced into marriage against his will and running away to sea seems like a much better option. Louis is the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Rogue and he has a thing for helping defenseless creatures. Especially when they're as pretty as this one.
bring out feelings in me i never show by orphan_account
Words: 24k
[Louis accidentally hires a felon to be his fake boyfriend for Thanksgiving. Or, the fake boyfriends au no one asked for, inspired by this.]
Ever Since I Tried Your Way by flowercrownfemme
Words: 25k
In 1949 Harry left his bride at the altar, running away from the only life he'd known. When a kindhearted farmer offers him a ride in his truck and a place to sleep the two find themselves inexplicably drawn together. Isolated on Louis' farm with nobody but a field of dairy cows to intrude, the men are finally able to explore the parts of themselves they've spent their lives hiding away.
You Take Me Over, You’re the Magic in My Veins by supernope
Words: 36k
Louis can feel Harry’s eyes on him as he turns to head toward his seat. He tucks a secretive smile into the palm of his hand while he slides into place beside his sister, his mother’s seat still empty as it awaits the Queen’s entrance. He knows he should be behaving himself a bit more, should be focusing his attention on Gemma, rather than her brother. He’s working on borrowed time, is expected to announce his engagement to the Princess within the next few weeks, but he can’t seem to help himself. Gemma is lovely, kind and witty and beautiful, but he has no interest in being married to her, had no interest in marriage before her arrival, period.
Teeth sunk into his bottom lip to disguise his smile, Louis risks a quick glance toward Gemma and Harry’s usual seats, finds Harry already seated and staring steadily back at him. His hair is a mess from Louis’ fingers and his cheeks are still flushed, and Louis’ heart gives a heavy, delighted thud. No, he thinks, he has no desire to be betrothed to Princess Gemma, but he finds he wouldn’t mind being married after all, if it was Prince Harry he was promised to, instead.
Truth Be Told (I Never Was Yours) by JustForTommo
Words: 76k
(or the one where Louis and Harry have a complicated past, Louis is getting married to someone that’s not Harry, and the universe has decided to have a laugh and make Harry the wedding planner.)
Give Me Truths by iwillpaintasongforlou
Words: 110k
Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.
feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright
Words: 123k
Harry is a journalist with a lot of secrets and Louis is the future king of the United Kingdom; they live together for 60 days.
Time Bomb by ThisSentimentalHeart
Words: 291k
Or the one where Louis has everything: a lead role in a giant Hollywood franchise, a glittering new house with an entertaining Irish neighbor, and a steady, normal boyfriend who he probably loves. Louis never expected to become a household name among young Hollywood overnight. He also never expected to find something endearing about the enigmatic rockstar who keeps showing up on his back porch.
♡ credit to the owner of the manip
♡ past themed recs here
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oldguy56-world · 4 years
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Halloween
This special day started off as a festival to ward off evil, became a reason for kids to pig out on candy, and now appears to be an occasion to embrace evil. I would call that full circle with a twist. When my mother was young (her birthday was Oct 31st) she thought all the kids were dressing up to celebrate her birthday. Innocence at its essence. When I was young, we thought the day after (all soul's day) was a holiday (for Catholics) so we could inhale all that great sugar and all those empty calories. We felt bad (sort of) for the kids in public schools who didn't get the day off. I can't be 100% sure but I believe I recall our priest saying it was punishment for straying from the Catholic church. Made sense at the time. Only problem with that logic is that once Nov. 1st was no longer a holiday, it left all us kids wondering 'what did we do wrong and why are we being punished?' Good news, though, as it did make our treats last longer.
There have been quite a few changes over the celebration over the years, and I have decided to post some random thoughts I have over the entire 'Special Day'.
- Only buy candy you like. (learned the hard way). If you don't get as many kids as you thought you would, there will be a lot of leftovers. Might as well be something you enjoy. (also have LOTS  leftover so that your wife can't tell right away that you have been nibbling away at it. You can say you took a bunch into work as long as your wife doesn't communicate with co-workers. Awkward)
- Costumes, in the old days, were kittens, pirates, nurses and ghosts. Now they are slutty kittens, pirates, nurses and ghosts. My beef? Where were these when I was a teen? I have the legs to pull off the look.
- Never leave a bowl of candy on a table on your porch with a sign that says 'Take one please'. First kid there will take all the candy, the bowl, and maybe even the table.
- If you don't want many kids coming to your door, give away crappy treats. Word gets around and kids will walk right past your place. Kale will work.
- If you don't want to give out any candy, don't be home. If the place is empty it looks spooky and kids won't go there. If there are lights and activity, but no porch light, have something handy that removes egg from your door and window.
- Put your car in your garage starting October 30th. Stuff happens. If you don't have a garage, make sure your insurance is paid up and you are covered for vandalism.
- There should be a height limit on trick or treating, like the rides at Disney, only in reverse. No goodies for people taller than this!!! If your kid is 10 and 6'3" don't worry. He has enough lunch money he took from other kids to buy his own candy.
-  Don't wear anything that is sexist, political, racial, religious, politically incorrect. Aliens are good. Sorry. Space aliens are good.
- If you are going to a party, dressing up as couples is a good idea. Odds are you will get stinking drunk and this will make it easier to remember who you came with.
- If your neighbour puts more effort into decorating his place on Halloween than he does at Christmas, flick some holy water at him. If he gets mad and wipes it away, just laugh and say it is an old Australian tradition. (no one gets mad at Australians). If his skin starts to burn and he speaks in tongues, run. Better to be safe than sorry.
THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Remember kids like to have fun, not be terrified.                                         
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ellstra · 7 years
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Ellstra’s One Year of Kylux Fic Rec
Exactly I year ago, I published my first Kylux fanfic, unaware what the year would bring me. I’m still in shock this ship stayed with me so long, that I still have tons of ideas about it and see it in everything. I’m emotional about this. I wanted to celebrate with sharing my love for some of the fics I’ve found and adored during the year. These are those I bookmarked on AO3, which means there is always a chance I read and loved others but forgot to bookmark them and my memory is shitty. I’m sorry. I’d arrange these like I’ve seen other people do, but 90% of them are porn so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
Enjoy!
Wools and Silks, Satin and Lace (series) by @nerdherderette 
Words: 7,212 (2 works), Rated E; A Tailor Hux!AU, hot, it will mush your brain into puddle and you’ll be happy about it, tons of names of fabrics and product placement™ which warmed my nerdy heart (you’ll probably learn a word or two as well, I sure did)
The Vanishing: Being an Account of the Apotheosis &c. of James Allan Hux, Esq. (as culled from evidence presented at the inquest surrounding his disappearance) by @favomancer 
Words: 40,787, Rated E; James Allan Hux, Esq, is a veteran of the Great War turned private investigator in London, when a wealthy American widow asks him to search for her missing son. Kylo Ren is the true name of Benjamin Solo - once formerly a scholar at Miskatonic University. He has uncovered his true heritage and now seeks to recover the lost pieces of his patrimony so he can find his way back to a land where his grandmother was a Queen, and where he will be a prince. One searches for the other, who searches for things best left unfound, and neither will recognize the paths taken when they finally meet. This is everything your twisted perverted heart can wish for in a fancy wrapping of Lovecraft’s mythos, 100% worth the read for the writing style alone (if literary porn is a thing, then this is an obligatory read), the sex scene made me cry so there’s that
Crush by @deluxekyluxtrashcan 
Words: 8,766, Rated T; It's been years since Kylo last came home, and knowing he won't be able to take the plunge and actually stay with his parents, he agrees to let Han book him a room at a local hotel. The only problem? Han messes up and Kylo has nowhere to stay - that is until his high school crush Hux, who he hasn't seen in years, offers to let him share his room.Kylo has to navigate the feelings he finds he still has for Hux, the fragile new relationship with his parents, and the realisation that he isn't the only one with a difficult relationship with his parents.  Modern AU in which the boys both have a lot of issues and it’s painful to read it because it frustrates you - if they could just talk to each other aaaaah - but they resolve it in the end and it’s so soothing, very nice. 
the giggle at a funeral by @mistresseast 
Words: 20 591, not rated; Hux and Phasma have been running First Order Investigations since high school, and Dr. Snoke's metaphysical research graduate program seemed like the perfect opportunity to pursue their interests under the protective umbrella of academia. Unfortunately, that meant allowing Snoke's personal project, a taciturn medium named Kylo Ren, to join their team. Hux and Kylo mix like oil and water, or, more accurately, like fire and gasoline, and Hux is convinced that working effectively with Kylo is absolutely impossible. They hate each other, and Hux is content to leave it that way.But then, a case in the sweltering heat of South Carolina begins to change things between them, and Hux finds himself questioning not only Kylo's feelings, but his own as well.  I didn’t know I needed this AU but it seems like I did, Kylo’s mysterious and troubled, Hux is fed up with him but still has Feelings™, Phasma needs a break (or a drink) all in a thrilling chase after a ghost. I was almost late for school because of this. Apparently there will be a sequel which I can’t wait for. 
All The Way To Your Door (WIP) by @kyluxtrashcompactor 
Words: 37 315, Rated E; Six months ago, Hux lied to his father. He said the man in the picture he pulled up on his phone was his fiancé. Hux never anticipated telling his roommate, Ben, that he had been cast as Hux's lover, but when Hux's father dies unexpectedly, he is forced to tell Ben the truth, and ask him to play the role at Brendol Hux's wake.  The essential fake-relationship trope that no rec list can lack. It’s beautifully, gently written, with lovely metaphors and great details, Brendol is not actually the asshole he is in other fics which is refreshing and ads tragedy into the story. Hux’s relatives are fun, Kylo has a lot of issues from the military, lots of feelings.
Ride Or Die by @slutstiels 
Words: 8 796, Rated E; Phasma had asked him to do her a favor: stay behind and let Rey’s cousin know that Phasma was taking her on a movie date and would be bringing her home in a couple of hours. Hux hadn’t been able to say no. He is a gentleman after all. It helps, of course, that Rey’s cousin is fucking stacked. Six feet, two inches of broad shoulders and hard muscles covered up under layers of black leather, face always hidden by a black riding helmet. The first time Hux saw him it was like every porn, every wet dream, every fantasy he’d ever had come to real life. I’ll never admit reading this, a buddy of mine told me this fic was very filthy and very hot and had the worst case of slutty virgin Hux and Kylo with cheesy tattoos all over his body. This buddy of mine highly encourages you to read this fic but my chaste self would never be seen clicking that link.
Vivisect (WIP) by @firstordershitposting and @first-disorder 
Words: 56 690, Rated E; Lord Armitage Bathory Hux, pretending to mourn his late father, enjoys free reign over his castle and the villages it commands. Specifically, his tastes stray towards murder, torment, and sadism. To him, sensitive and devotedly religious Lord Benjamin Organa is but an entertaining new plaything. But Ben’s inner conflict only increases as he is torn between his cherished Catholic moral creed and his terrible attraction to Lord Armitage—as well as his own compulsion to kill.  Proceed with care with this one because it’s seriously fucked up but I promise that if you don’t have problems with any of the things you get warned about (there’s a list. it’s long) you won’t regret it. The dynamics between the pair of them if seriously twisted but so much fun.
Campfire (Baking Chocolate) by @piratical-princess
Words: 11 044, Rated E; Kylo convinces Hux to go on a camping trip. He attempts to melt the General's ice with good food and spooky storytelling, but it's harder than it seems when both of them are so good at hiding.  Everything you could possibly want from the pair of them going camping (canon-compliant). It’s all incredibly sweet and Kylo is a darling while Hux has Issues™. They share a tent (look at the rating if you’re not sure what happens next.) 
Oh, when you love it by @longstoryshortikilledhim 
Words: 7 676, Rated M; The Skywalker family seems fucked up beyond repair. They still try their best.  Modern AU of a troubled family that somehow works despite all odds. It’s poetic and will leave you feel serene. Intermingled with poetry which fits better than I’ve ever seen poetry fit. 
Stay by @42dicks 
Words: 1 815, Rated T; Two drunk teens grasp at comfort. High school AU, there are some emotions involved I can’t properly describe without quoting the whole thing so go read it.
The Fruits of Autumn by Gigi_Sinclair (couldn’t find you on tumblr sorry)
Words: 8 048, Rated M; "Everyone says college is supposed to be the best time of your life. If that's true,Matt thinks, yanking open the door to the coffee shop, then I might as well kill myself now." Yes, this is mostly Techienician but there’s Kylux too in the best way, there’s a coffee shop involved, Kylo recites poetry and Hux has his famous speech (although probably not in the way you’d expect.)
Ghosts of Your Past (never go away) by @evilblubber 
Words: 2300, Rated M; “So,” says Brendol, carefully, "So your dead father, who isn’t actually Force-sensitive, somehow came back as a Force ghost, and caught us having sex?” Kylo scowls. “I’m not crazy."Han Solo defies all logic and comes back to haunt his son, who really wants to stab something. Hux is confused. Phasma is still amused. Or, Ren really needs to stop stabbing people. Emperor Hux, Han has a cameo, truly inspiring and hilarious. There’s also a podfic by @kesskay which makes it 100% better, you won’t be able not to laugh.
To the Pure by @kdazrael 
Words: 27 929, Rated E; Dear sir or madam, I am General Hux of the Resurgent-class Star Destroyer Finalizer. I was recently strong-armed by a colleague into joining an order of mystic knight-warriors and now they want me take part in their team-building orgies. Please advise. The Knights of Ren are in this one and they’re adorable. Hux gets coerced to join the gang’s bonding exercises (against his will of course, mind you.) It’s beautiful. Worth a read for the knights alone (although the sex is great too so what are you waiting for?) There is a podfic by @kesskay too which you should check out as well.
Divided Desire by @kdazrael 
Words: 16 891, Rated E; Hux felt himself go pale, his muscles pulling tight and scalp prickling. “Why would I give a damn about what some foul alien has between its legs?"  This fic intends to be unashamedly filthy and is doing a very good job. Back from the days when Hux’s xenophilia was a number one topic in the fandom, this is a must-read. You’ll question your sanity if you read this but you’ll still be unable to put it down.
Screaming Colour by @solohux 
Words: 37 572, Rated M; For as long as Hux can remember, he's been able to see everything in brilliant, vivid colour. His mother tells him that it means that he's got a soulmate somewhere in the galaxy who's waiting for him and little Hux is excited to think that his soulmate can see things in the amazing colours that he can. But one day, the colour begins to drain from Hux's world. (Soulmate AU where you see everything in perfect colour until your soulmate dies)  Amazing concept with truly intriguing execution and lots of baby!Hux angst because who doesn’t love that. Hux’s mother is very lovely in this fic, although a tragic character. Also there’s lots of Kylo angst. But a lot of fluff too. So it’s a win-win basically.
Take the Dive (WIP) by @jinxedambitions  
Words: 52 775, Rated E; Hux is the top diver in the world coming back for his third Olympic Games. However, this time he's bringing more baggage than just his equipment. His former partner, Ben Solo, is also competing with his new partner, and Hux's greatest rival, Poe Dameron.Hux needs to prove he's still the best in the world, but more than that he wants to prove to himself that he can move past Ben. However, Ben seems dead set on reminding him about the past at every turn. A fierce rivalry, bitter exes, one big temper, some tiny swim suits, and a medal on the line...  Okay so who hasn’t watched diving during the Olympics and wished this fic existed, right? Well it does, and it’s even better than you’d expect. There’s angry sex, there’s jealousy, there’s Feelings™, there’s Poe who puts up with way too much, there’s tragic backstory and there’s Snoke who is an asshole. It’s a perfect mix.
Doctor’s Orders (WIP) by @jinxedambitions
Words: 117 205, Rated E; Hux may have too much on his plate. He's a successful surgeon. He runs the volunteer clinic his late mother started from the ground up. His father is constantly scrutinizing his work even though Hux is more successful than he ever was. His clinic is constantly under attacks whether by politicians with an agenda or fanatics looking to shut him down. It seems like everyone wants a piece of him. The last thing he needs is Kylo Ren constantly taking up space in his waiting room for every imagined illness he can come up with. Hux isn't sure if he hasn't been loved enough or he's got one hell of a doctor kink, and he doesn't particularly care to find out. However, Ren might just be the answer to some of Hux's biggest headaches. The question is whether Ren is more trouble than he's worth. The answer is most certainly yes, but against his better judgment Hux lets him keep coming back. Hux is a doctor in this one which is the best thing in the world and I love it (Hux using his fierce intelligence and dedication to healing people instead of killing them? Sign me up!) Leia is a badass in this one, Rey is very sweet and Phasma is just amazing. Kylo and Hux have a lot of issues of course but I hope they’ll solve them. Snoke is extra awful in this one.
None of Your Business by @samzillastomps 
Words: 20 316, Rated E; Hux is keeping his head above the water with his slightly pretentious bookstore, but just barely. When the next door neighbor (a young business owner who hasn't impressed Hux in the least) meanders over with a magical proposition for them both, Hux is in no position to deny him. A compromise to save his bookstore from bankruptcy may be just what Hux needs to feel at peace again-- and just what his neighbor was hoping for to get his foot in the bookstore door. Modern AU, very sensitive story which will warm you up like a cup of cocoa. There are old, precious books involved and it’s great, Hux is beautifully broken and so afraid of falling in love but he does anyway. 
Waste Isolation by @yeats-infection 
Words: 24 067, Rated E; Saltlands, Disputed Territory; 9421 CE. As sheriff of the Templum Flats, Hux prides himself on his irrepressible conniving - especially in dealing with the cultish Order and its feral lich mercenary, Ren. A dystopian AU with such a perfect setting that is apparently based on reality written so beautifully you’ll want to tear your own heart out of your body and eat it. The prose is magnificent, amazing because it’s just brushing the surface and lets you make connections on your own (also new words. yay!) The relationship between the pair of them is just brilliant, everything about this story is brilliant. 
Be a Body by @cracktheglasses 
Words: 5 114, Rated E; General Hux likes spending his shore leave somewhere anonymous, convenient and blessedly free of Kylo Ren. Somewhere full of men with big hands, and preferably with a good bathroom to do Mon Gazza spice in. Okay so obviously Hux’s leave is not as Kylo Ren free as he hoped and he still loves it, mostly because he has no idea what’s going on. Also Hux takes drugs so there’s that. It’s filthy and it’s gorgeous.
Cornflakes and Other Lists by @starkilleraflame 
Words: 35 969, Rated G; “Ben, what are you doing?” asked Rey. In answer, Ben just pointed to the window and said, “People.” “Yes, Ben, those exist.” “I know that, but they’re moving in. Who’s letting them move into the crazy neighborhood?” “Ben, we’re the crazy house. No one else is crazy. Just you.” “I’m not crazy, Rey. I was just kidnapped and brainwashed by an abusive militant cult leader. There’s a difference."  Modern AU, Ben is kidnapped and brainwashed by Snoke, the Knights of Ren are a bunch of teenagers with serious mental health issues and they’re great, Hux is the kid that moves in to the house beside Ben’s and for some reason doesn’t go to school either which works just fine for Ben. And boy, does this work. It’s beautiful and poetic but at the same time very real. Ben is so precious in this one.
Eleison by @saltandimes 
Words: 4 104, Rated E; When Kylo leaves on a mission, Hux begins to fall apart. Because he needs Kylo, and there's nothing else Kylo has ever wanted. Hux is so dependent on Kylo that he’s barely able to breathe on his own, which shouldn’t be a good thing but from some reason it is, most likely because of the amazing delivery of the idea.
Ace of Spades (WIP) by @bettydays 
Words: 57 362, Rated M; “Sometimes,” Ben says, “it feels like everything’s connected. Like with strings. And if I could just see the strings, I could pull them. I could make things do what I wanted.” “Are people connected too?” Hux asks. “Uh huh. But some strings between people are shorter than others. Like ours. I bet ours is the shortest string you can have.” Modern AU which follows the pair of them from early childhood as they become friends to very troubled teen years (and I hope a happy ending.) It feels very real, it’s well written without being cliche. Bonus points for Padmé.
Behind Schedule by @limit-breaker  
Words: 12 115, Rated E; Hux tries to micromanage their sex life, but even with exacting details it doesn't always go according to plan... Hux is afraid of catching feelings but somehow forgets to get vaccinated. Kylo is uncharacteristically patient. Lots of brilliant character development.
Control and Shush by @percjgraves 
Words: 2 484 and 2 437, Rated E; Hux knows perfectly well what he wants. A familiar pressure, a firm hold, the thrill of the struggle. Kylo Ren’s gloved hand around his neck. and “That all you can do?” Hux says, insolent to the last, and Kylo sits up, cups Hux’s jaw with something like tenderness as he leans to whisper in his ear.“Shut up,” he says, slowly. “Or I’ll gag you.” I put these two together because they are loosely tied together. Very intriguing dynamics and well, the living embodiment of my sub!hux headcanons so no real explanation here, just accept that it’s amazing.
Good Neighbours (series) by @thewightknight 
Words: 4 083 (2 works), Rated T; Hux rents the house on the sleepy cul-de-sac because the price is right, knowing the noise from the firestation across the street won't bother him. The firefighters, on the other hand? Consider him bothered. What a lovely setting, Hux is unapologetically stalking the firefighters and they know. It’s not a porn actually, even though I made it sound that way. It’s actually very sweet and leads to an awkward meeting.
Lygerastia by @sithofren 
Words: 2 331, Rated E; The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out. Very sweet, very emotional porn. The best kind of porn there is. 
Academy Style by @eralkfang 
Words: 13 921, Rated E; “It’s not a question of desire, it’s a question of logistics.”  Kylo’s dick is huge and Hux is scared, though still determined to take the challenge. A truly magnificent classic Kylux™ with repressed emotions.
Ravines (series) by @badspacebabies
Words: 11 825 (2 works), Rated E A highschool AU, very poetic, immersing prose that will leave you grinning through your tears. It feels like you’re sitting on the curb with them as they share a cigarette. 
Our Fragile Co-commandership by @nightsofllyn 
Words: 13 128, Rated E; Kylo Ren and General Hux discuss the weather on Starkiller Base. This is a tricky fic to describe, since each of the chapters is a little different. It starts off playful and with the well-known rivalry we all love for this ship. Continues through sex dreams that somehow manage to seem like high arts. Finishes satisfying, although a little alarming. Overall a very pleasant read. The imagery in chapter 2 is spot on.
Life Sentence, No Cellmate by @hollyhark 
Words: 30 119, Rated E; Hux follows orders and loses his way. I don’t have to present CWU to anyone in the fandom, do I? I’m the only one who hasn’t read the whole thing yet (it’s intimidatingly long and I’ve been super busy but I intent to fix it soon.) I liked their first kiss in this story. So poetic, so emotional.
Imperial Majesty Hux (series) by @pkabyssian 
Words: 14 883 (2 works), Rated E As the title suggests, an Emperor Hux verse, where they defeat Snoke because Hux is fed up with him, and they have great sex in between.
rise, higher still, endless thrill by @lupevensies 
Words: 4387, Rated M; Then they had won, and what remained of the Republic soldiers scattered away in a disorderly fashion. Ren stood there, surrounded by maimed corpses and splattered blood, absurdly red against the snow. Hux wanted to peel off his clothes and wash all the blood and dirt off his body, slowly, reverently, until it was impossible to tell those long limbs had ever known the filthy mess of battle. He wanted to beat him to a pulp and drag him into the mud and see if he’d still look like an avenging angel then.  Ruthlessly brilliant MCD, one of the first Kylux fics I’ve read so I’m a little sentimental about this one. Every words is where it belongs and the ending will fuck you up (it will be good though.)
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