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lianecartmanstimtoy · 10 months

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Sm South Park Headcanons for the characters that hold my brain hostage. (Also this is them as older teens/adults)

Kyle

-Biromantic/Asexual who just lives happily in comphet for years. He just kinda appreciates and sees the value in everyone but obviously guys just date girls. They just appreciate other men equally you know?

-King has OCD up to his god damn teeth but refuses to see a therapist because there's nothing wrong with him he's just being "proactively cautious".

-Sick kid to neurotic adult pipeline

-Very much takes comfort in the rituals and structure of Judaism

-Often ends up defaulting to mom friend despite how much his friends make fun of him for it

-He's kind of a normie. Like yeah he reads philosophy and psychology but if you try to talk to him about anything remotely indie or punk he kind of just stares at you blankly

-Basketball Guy

-Also hes the one who has a car and is exploited for it

-Does not like Stan hanging out with the Goth kids

Stan

-Closet homosexual trying so hard to be straight

-Bipolar and easily falls into deep depressive lows that he self medicates for

-Randy put him in therapy just so he could rant at the therapist about how toxic Stan is

-He believes deeply he's just a fuck up and has kind of given up on trying. Why play the rat race if your destined to lose? Might as well just party

-Gets tired of Kyle nagging him constantly

-Hangs out with the Goth Kids more and I think he and Michael become close

-He gets crushes easily but the big ones are Kyle and Michael. But Kyle's straight so that's just another reason to self destruct

-He wants to like Wendy so fucking bad. He wants to be good. He wants to be her boyfriend. He just..doesn't know how to pretend good enough to make it real

-inevitably they break up for real in highschool and it sends him into one of the deepest lows of his life

-After this he gets insanely drunk and kisses Kyle but Kyle just assumes he's out of it and never brings it up again because he doesn't want to embarrass Stan. This drives Stan mental

-His parents seriously discuss military school and Stan is considering just joining out of highschool anyways

-He's just a body why not put it to work

Eric

-HOMOHOMOHOMOHOMO ANY PRONOUNS GENDER FLUID HOMO

-So very insanely closeted out of fear of being rejected

-Kenny knows

-On anti psychotics that he regularly forgets to take

-Writes explicit fanfiction about him and his friends and posts them on A03 under different names

-Has a Twitch stream drag hustle like Finnster (initially he was using butters for this but then she came out at Margarine and said she didn't want to be a online whore because she was a respectable lady and Eric took up the mantle himself)

-Clyde is one of his regular watchers and donators but has 0 idea it's Eric

-Eric eventually blocks him because Clyde keeps sending him dick pics

-Kylekylekylekylekylekylekylekyle

-He wants his attention so bad it's insane

-His best friend is his mom

-They have weekly spa nights and watch romcoms and dating reality tv together

-He taught her a skin routine

-He has sent in online auditions for Kidzbop multiple times

-Kenny was his first kiss and first time

Kenny

-Any Pronouns genderfluid bi king

-Mostly gets He/Him'd by his friends but brushes it off

-Has done his rounds in the school but no relationship has ever lasted long

-He has a tendency to let himself be used as he sees his service and time as the only thing he can offer other people (this extends to his friends as well)

-Sweet goofy persona that quickly turns dark if someone really fucks up (this happens rarely but they're terrifying)

-She works as a mechanic apprentice outside of school and has a cobbled together motor bike she built herself

-Flirts with everyone and craves touch and affection

-Kind of one of the only people who genuinely likes Eric and sees past his bullshit

-The friend who knows how to get things

-Was Elated when Margarine came out and wants to be her boygirl wife so bad

-Microdoses some back alley E as a treat

-Only ever really hangs out with Stan when Stan wants to party

-Despite being friends with everyone Kenny often feels incredibly isolated and lonely

-Everyone calls him when they need something but who does she call when she needs something.

Michael (Goth Kid)

-he/it, stealth trans, just IDs as Queer

-Jewish but insanely quiet about it

-Used being goth initially as a way to distract kids from making fun of him for his heritage. Now he's in deep

-Very vocally loathes Eric Cartman and will beat him

-Cane is passed off for aesthetics but is a needed mobility aid for joint issues

-The older goth kids are an acting Polycule but will date outside of each other

-He starts to get close to Stan and enjoys how real he feels.

-Has a contentious relationship with Kyle and how he kind of morally lord's himself over Stan and others

-Doesnt have much of a relationship with his parents. His mom and dad are separated and although he lives with his dad his father regularly travels for business so he often gets the house alone to himself.

-Secretly takes a lot of comfort from his dad's old records

-He also has a secret hiding place in some abandoned sewer pipping where he goes to get away from everyone including his friends. Stan is the only one who knows about it

-On a first name basis with a lot of the unhoused people in South Park and will hang out with them as well

-He has a black kippah for holidays or temple (though his father rarely goes to temple anymore

(I will write more for others later this has already taken me an hour

#south park #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #eric cartman #south park hcs #south park goth kids

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lurkingshan · 7 months

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Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

Tagged by @sorry-bonebag. Like you, I’m often a comfort reader even more than a comfort watcher (I love rereading books and in fact am rereading one right now) but I do also go back to shows sometimes when my stress is high. During the early pandemic I did a whole run through of all my favorite sitcoms (Schitts Creek, Parks & Rec, Brooklyn 99, New Girl) before Asian dramas took over my brain full time.

Amongst Asian dramas, here are the ones I go back to when I just want some relaxation for my brain:

Romance is A Bonus Book. This drama is so cozy. Friends to lovers set in a publishing company with two besties who take pleasure in caring for each other while reading books. What could be more comforting, I ask you.

Anything with Park Seo Joon. I just like looking at him, and he’s got several romcoms that fill this need nicely—What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, Fight for My Way, She Was Pretty, Witch’s Romance.

Bad Buddy. I’m just never ever tired of these two and seeing them smile at each other through the pain warms my heart.

Just Between Lovers. Now you might think this one is weird because it’s about a traumatic accident and parts of it are quite stressful, but this is ultimately a healing romance and I feel healed when I watch it.

An Incurable Case of Love. It’s just cute! And the male lead does an excellent kabedon.

Go Ahead. I haven’t actually rewatched this one yet but I absolutely will be doing so many times in the future. Every time I hear the theme song my body enters the zen zone.

Hospital Playlist. Sometimes when life is hard you just want to stare at Lee Ik Jun and watch a group of pals do good shit and sing about it.

Old Fashion Cupcake, Our Dating Sim, and Semantic Error. Putting these together because they hit the same sweet spot of being perfect short form dramas that deliver a strong dopamine hit.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? No I will not be making any lists that don’t include this show anytime soon. It doesn’t matter what the question is, the answer is WDYEY.

Coffee Prince. Gong Yoo, a compelling romance, and a perfectly executed queer awakening with a well-earned happy ending. I’ll probably watch it 12 more times.

Tagging @bengiyo @neuroticbookworm @negrowhat @ranchthoughts @kayatoasted @slayerkitty @so-much-yet-to-learn @isaksbestpillow @miscellar @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle if you want to play!

#tag game #comfort watches

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silverslipstream · 11 months

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writeblr intro!

Well, hello there! Welcome to my page! Thought I'd finally get around to writing and pinning an intro, seeing as my writeblr recommendations post has gone STRATOSPHERIC and I've followed so many new accounts!

I'm Jeb (he/him), 20 years old, and an aspiring writer, poet and disaster dork from New Zealand (who currently lives in the UK - England, to be more precise). I'm a huge lover of writing and reading science fiction works, particularly hard sci-fi - Arthur C. Clarke's Space Odyssey series and his novel The Songs of Distant Earth were the works that inspired a young me to start taking writing seriously. I also write fanfiction, romance, horror, a smidgen of fantasy, spy fiction... whatever takes my fancy, basically! I also love writing and reading poetry, and hope to have some of my poems published professionally by the end of 2023!

Outside of writing, I'm a huge motorsport lover. Formula One is my main passion, and in fact I originally joined tumblr to post about my then-WIP, The Edge Of Control. TEOC may be in cryogenic storage, but my love of speed and high-octane racing remains: I regularly watch F1, IndyCar and the World Endurance Championship. I also love spaceflight, astronomy, Shakespeare, teen movies from the 80s/90s (ESPECIALLY John Hughes' work), many cheesy romcoms and lasagna. (What? It's literally the perfect food!)

Right, now with all that out of the way, let's get onto the real good stuff... (sorry in advance for the lack of taglists, I haven't remembered how they work!)

links to my work:

jebberjabber on AO3 (my main account, for fanfiction) degnercurve130R on AO3 (for F1/racing works) KesslerCascade on Wattpad (for original works)

works-in-progress

You Can't Take It Back Now!

type: fanfiction (fandom: Bittersweet Candy Bowl, Webcomic) genre: romance (of the sapphic, friends-to-lovers variety) summary: Sue and Amaya have been best friends ever since they met in second grade. They're proudly inseparable, but when a secretive confession from Amaya turns into a sudden kiss from the assuredly-straight Sue, everything changes. Can they navigate their friendship while dealing with their rampant emotions? Is it just drama, or did Sue have more investment into their kiss than she let on? status: six chapters currently complete, with two published on AO3! Bi-weekly updates planned. link: You Can't Take It Back Now! on AO3

White Sky

type: original work genre: hard science fiction/mystery/thriller summary: It's 2094, and the Earth-Luna Treaty Organisation (ELTO) is planning the upcoming 125th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. Meanwhile, Katarina 'Kat' Lloyd, a reclusive scientist, is framed for a crime she didn't commit and forced into outer space. Seeking refuge aboard the cislunar debris hauler Dowager Caroline, Kat and the Caroline's motley crew discover that her framing was simply a cog in a much bigger plot - one with dire consequences for mankind... status: currently in the planning stage, rough draft established and plot outline written

works published on Tumblr:

An Acquired Taste - In a post-cyberpunk/solarpunk imagining of 22nd-century New Seoul, a corporate engineer makes a chance meeting with a street vendor and makes an important discovery.

Executive Decisions - In an alternate history where the Cold War went hot, a US Air Force nuclear-bomber crew face a moral dilemma as they near their Soviet target. Operation Trident - A soldier experiences a combat drop on the Belgian coast, as part of an ongoing human offensive against an alien occupation force. Ignition Sequence - An experiment with a second-person perspective where the watcher observes a Space Shuttle launch in Florida.

#writeblr introduction #writeblr #writeblr community #writers on tumblr #fanfiction #science fiction #silverslipstream #writers community

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nancydrewwouldnever · 8 months

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Please correct me if you don’t agree. I think the reason people constantly praise his knives out performance is because he hadn’t played a different role in like, 15 years. So anything new was kinda exciting and fun til all his portrayals were practically the same character just with different facial hair.

Like I know he had movies here and there while with marvel but even those didn’t do well but people didn’t pay attention cause then another avenger would come out.

Even the romcoms where he was supposed to play male lead he kinda was just the love interest nothin more nothing less.

However I will say I’m not the biggest movie watcher so maybe I’m wrong

I agree. It also helped this was the first "big" project where people saw him play a "baddie." I think many people overly praised it for the simply aspect of him not being a hero character once again. Now, I take nothing away from that movie. It's a really good movie, and a really great ensemble cast. But when you go back and review how much the sweater got hyped, or the coat and scarf combo, then you realize how out of proportion the response might have been. (And you realize how much he's probably going to come to miss a fandom that can make a sweater trend for him.)

#ask #knives out

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scribble-dribble-writes · 11 months

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Miguel o'hara musings

He definitely has adopted spidercat and also has a pet black cat.

When he's free, he plays video games with Lego spiderman and him alone, he cannot tolerate anyone else. Doubles down as therapy session as they talk over discord

He has a specific kind of cereal that he likes, not too hard such that it gets stuck on his fangs and not too soft that it tastes like baby food. He obviously endorses the brand and models for the cereal boxes

He loves his tea time in the morning. If that is disrupted, then you can expect him to be annoyed through the whole day

When he can't sleep at night, he listens to a playlist which has his favorite songs

Not much of a movie watcher but surely reads a romcom here and there. He however folds the edge of the page and keeps it hidden in his office desk

He loves fluffy comfy slippers. Also dark cardigans.

He's miserable at keeping plants alive but his secret project it to some how get his tomato plant to survive

He makes a great burrito bowl and tacos 😩

Loves strawberry ice cream, especially if it has real strawberry bits in it. No one knows about this though except LYLA and she's sworn into secrecy.

His aim is to learn origami but his claws get in the way.

#miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #spiderman 2099

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offseason-if · 8 months

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Welcome! Your introductory post is amazing!

Care to tell some facts about the ROs?

thank u very much!! I am planning on posting the actual character intros soon including physical descriptions so ill just give some fun facts for now lol

noel definitely doesn't look it at ALL but they quite enjoying baking. they're a very analytical and a bit of a perfectionist so they enjoy that baking has to be precise and has clear instructions unlike cooking. they've definitely baked you something for your birthday each year; you also have no idea how they found out your birthday.

h comes from like. a huge family. they're the oldest of six siblings and while their parents were very present they did just really enjoy helping out with their siblings! because of this they're like. scarily good with kids. like in the way they'll get passed a crying baby and the baby immediately quiets.

while he would literally never admit this to anyone ever val's guilty pleasure is listening and/or watching musicals. he literally starts like a private session in Spotify so it doesn't mess w his wrapped. FOR SURE had a hamilton phase in middle school that only you and his dad know about.

s is an avid reader and watcher of romcoms. like even the ones that appear godawful they give a chance. since your sophomore year in high school the two of you had a hallmark movie marathon every winter. s cries at nearly every one of them, even if they're only happy and feel good movies.

#ask #noel #h #s #valerio #I love these silly guys im glad u guys r enjoying them too!!!

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bourbonificould · 2 months

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Do you think Marlon would’ve liked The Lost Boys and what do you think the other ericsons favorite movies were

This is harder cause I'm not actually a big movie or tv series watcher, but I can assume. Marlon probably would like The Lost Boys.

Clementine probably only watched really basic Charlie Brown stuff as a kid, so she could definitely be fascinated with any sort of movie, exactly the same with AJ, Tenn and Willy, though Tenn & Willy would be scared asf of scary movies.

Louis is big on comedies and musicals, and definitely keeps the tape players that were in the headmaster's office in his bedroom. Think Rush Hour or something of the sort for comedy.

Mitch probably liked something random like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Violet and Brody probably watch shitty romcoms, but Vi won't tell anyone she does, while Brody happily asks if they wanna come watch them with her. Think When Henry Met Sally.

Omar likes Boyz In The Hood. (Judging by his accent lmao) I'm assuming he was around 7 when it started, so his family definitely watched BITH, it was like the top black movie ever 😭

Aasim think he's too superior to waste time watching movies. If they ever heard a movie night, he'd spend his time writing about how annoying Louis is about it.... but yea he likes comedies.

Ruby is all about the comedy, she'd pause the movie just to hurl out some laughter.

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khaleesiofalicante · 9 months

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David must love Magnus because he's the type of person who lives romcoms. Sure, Magnus likes romcoms but he's not a fan like David. Magnus is the type of person who lives romcoms, he is not a watcher. Malec's story could be a romcom in various universes (bringing out the strongest angst) (must be why david reads fanfics about them)

okay so magnus and alec having a very rom-commy life (idk what the plot is but it's cheesy and perfect) and netflix wants to make a movie out of it and david is the writer so he spends a lot of time with magnus and alec (alec doesn't like the movie idea he only agreed because magnus liked it so he doesn't like david much) and guess who david meets when he interviews magnus for the first time hehe

#I NEED TO BE STOPPED #mavid #malec

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total-drama-takes-takes-2 · 9 months

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tta episode 3

“Last time on Total Takes Action: the teams competed in a few video game-themed challenges, causing multiple paint stains, and some injuries. Trouble in paradise rocked the Shaloner love boat, and put some distance between Joner and the other players. O took on Michela as a personal project, and she unknowingly did the same when she opened his eyes to the power of incredible violence. McLovin took the carpet of shame and boarded the Lame-o-Sine, leaving his team in shambles… mostly. Will Kelly and Austin ever get their heads in the game? Will Joner and Sha-Mod survive without their buddy? Find out now- on Total! Takes! Action!”

“Rise and shine, campers! Your challenge today is a personal favorite of Chef’s, so get your butts to the craft services tent, pronto!”

The intercom crackles off and everyone in the boys and such trailer groans. Since McLovin’s elimination, there’s been no need to share bunks, leaving Scruffy a little more energetic than yesterday.

They hop out of their bed and stretch, smiling brightly. “Wonder what the challenge could be today, huh?”

“Don’t you know?” Peter asks, wide-eyed.

Scruffy’s eye twitches.

---

SCRUFFY: “Am I bothered by the fact that I’m not prepared for this at all? No! I’m fine. There’s some… fun in the unexpected, right?”

---

“Chef’s favorite,” Michela thinks aloud, walking alongside Bonnie to the tent. “War movie?”

They rub their chin. “Prison break?”

“Bear mauling documentary?” Scary chimes in as they approach the craft services tent. Michela shrugs.

“I bet it’s a romance challenge,” Kelly says happily, waving their hands around to dry their freshly-applied pink nail polish. “He seems like a romantic gentleman.”

Michela and Bonnie cough to cover their laughs, and Scary just grumbles “It better not be”.

The boys and such are already seated in the tent, leaving the girls to split up and drift over to their respective teams. The atmosphere seems a little tense, the epicenter of the uncomfortable energy radiating from the Anons. Joner is sitting beside Sha-Mod, whistling and twirling his thumbs. Sha-Mod is staring off into the distance.

---

SHA-MOD: “Okay, so, maybe Joner was only friends with me for McLovin’s sake- so what? I have plenty of friends! Like... um... uh...”

---

Sha-Mod turns to Scary and inhales to speak before she glares at him, effectively shutting him up before he can get a word out. He sighs.

Chris walks in seconds later, wearing a sharp suit and holding a bouquet of roses.

“Back from another award show?” Scruffy asks, genuinely curious. Chris chuckles.

“Not quite. Good morning, campers! It’s time to grab a partner, because this is a romantic comedy challenge!”

The contestants look at each other nervously.

---

SCARY: “You have got to be kidding me,”

---

Chris walks between the tables. “There are a lot of common tropes in romcoms- the lovebirds, the ex, the best friend- and today, each of you will be filling those roles and becoming the most adorable, wholesome, tear-jerking love plots ever concocted!” he smiles. “You’ll be partnering up with a teammate and competing in a triathlon of love!”

Bonnie points to the back of their throat and gags while Caesar squeals.

---

BONNIE: “From zombies to corny, over-exposed kissing… great. Just up my alley! I just got used to having friends, and now I’m getting thrown into this?!”

---

CAESAR: “My mom is a huge Hallmark watcher, so I grew up with a PhD in romance,” he pauses to sigh dreamily. “It’s all just acting, but that’s what I’m best at!”

---

Michela sighs, putting her head in her hands. O, seated beside her, pats her back reassuringly. “Thinking about Max?”

She nods. “I miss him tons,”

“Well… maybe I can help!”

“So, first off,” Chris says, tossing the bouquet aside and pulling six pairs of handcuffs from the wrapping. “You’ll be choosing your own partner- and choose wisely, because today’s challenge is a double-elimination!”

The campers gasp and look between each other. Chris laughs again and starts tossing the handcuffs to the respective team tables, narrowly missing the heads and fingers of several teens.

“Roll call!” he shouts, standing between the tables. “Let’s see these pairs!”

“Oh, me and Bonbon!” Caesar says excitedly, raising a hand. Chef walks over and clamps on their cuffs, locking them together and putting the key in his apron. Bonnie’s eyes watch each move carefully.

---

BONNIE: “Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but Chris would never throw us a candle-lit dinner as a challenge- I’ll bet my console that the real test is getting out of these cuffs! Erm- no offense, Caesar,” the camera zooms out to Caesar sitting beside Bonnie in the makeup confessional. He shrugs.

CAESAR: “You’ll come around to this,”

---

Kelly and Austin lock themselves together and willingly hand over the key, grinning. Scary rolls their eyes.

Michela and O smile at the cuffs while Peter and Fren fist-bump. Joner swallows a lump in his throat and turns to Sha-Mod, then to Scruffy, who’s staring at their notepad on the table and tapping their chin.

“Hey, Scruffy-” he starts.

Scary butts in. “Nope, they’re spoken for. We have business,”

“But-”

“Find your own partner!” she snaps before dragging Scruffy away.

---

SCRUFFY: “Normally, I’d have no problem taking on challenges by myself- but I didn’t know that this season would be brand new challenges- I rewatched TDA for nothing!”

---

Joner’s shoulders drop and he turns to Sha-Mod, who’s pretending to look at a bird’s nest outside. He sighs. “Let’s do this,”

---

Chris stands before the campers, a sprawling, sandy wasteland behind him. “This is our brand-new, state of the art obstacle course. Here, you’ll be doing the "meet cute" portion of the challenge, while dodging some classic romantic cliches and trying to reach the end- the first team who does wins this leg of the race,”

“Um,” Scary looks around Chris’ shoulder. “Where are the obstacles?”

He grins wickedly. “That’s part of the fun,”

The campers look at each other nervously as Chris holds up a flare gun. “On your marks- get set- go!”

Bonnie starts off strong, practically dragging Caesar behind them. They pant as they run across the sandy sprawl. “Maybe winning will give us the key, as an advantage in the next part!” they say, lifting up Caesar by the scruff of his neck when he falls over.

“Bonnie, I think this is just a romance-themed episode,” he huffs, dodging a cutout of a bad ex as it springs out from under the sand.

They laugh desperately. “With Chris in charge? No way!”

Behind the two, Kelly and Austin follow, holding hands and merrily skipping over the melted chocolate quicksand and the rivals-to-lovers pit traps.

“This really is the sticks, huh, baby?”

“I love romance!” Kelly shouts back. “I’ve always wanted a love like in the movies!”

The two run into a portion of the track designed to be an airport terminal, rushing past extras to “confess their love” at the gate while dodging tiny darts.

“Like ours, baby?” Austin jokes, narrowly dodging a flying saw.

Kelly thinks for a moment. “Um… not really!”

Austin’s smile drops. “What do you mean by-” a giant log swings from the ceiling and crashes into him, sending him flying backwards and dragging Kelly along with him.

Michela and O run past, looking back at the two and then to each other, nervously.

“So, what was your big plan?” Michela asks, pulling O down to avoid another flying saw.

He grins, and pulls something out of his pocket, then turns, obscuring his face- when he turns back, Michela grimaces.

“Is that a-”

O nods, adjusting the Max mask on his face. “Chris has a ton of these! I found them while burning the Geoff one from last season!”

“Why does Chris have a bunch of paper copies of our faces?”

“Oh, he has silicone molds, too. I hear he’s working on AI models now,”

“Wow, that’s weird. Someone should probably stop him from being able to use our likeness for profit without our consent,”

Michela and O look into the camera and then speed up.

The next portion of the obstacle course is a mysterious, gothic castle, full of candlelight and roses. “This is bizarre,” Bonnie murmurs.

“This is camp,” Caesar nods. “Vampire romance, duh!”

“Okay, sue me for not being updated on my supernatural love lore,”

From behind the pair, Scary watches a dart prick Peter and send him into immediate paralysis. “HOW is this romance themed?!”

---

Bonnie and Caesar reach the end of the course first, completely unscathed (aside from a few scuffs on Caesar’s pants). Scary and Scruffy follow, then Michela and O, then Fren dragging an unconscious Peter behind him. Sha-Mod and Joner run up soon after, both looking miserable and tired.

“Seems like we’re missing someone,” Chris grins, tapping his chin.

The campers look at each other, perplexed before the sound of angry bickering follows from behind. They turn to see Austin and Kelly shouting at each other, looking angrier than anyone has ever seen them.

“I’m just saying, maybe I want something of substance in this relationship!” Kelly yells, crossing their arms.

“Is this not enough for you?!” Austin shouts back, pointing at his behind. Kelly rolls their eyes.

“You’ve been holding me back this whole time!”

“And you’ve been ruining my flow! You threw out my Jane Fonda workout tapes!”

“You used them as coasters!”

The two keep shouting at each other, and the other campers cover their ears. Chris grins.

“Well, since Bonnie and Caesar got here first, the Fujoshis win the first part of the challenge,” he says. “But, Anons- you still have a shot if you can complete this.”

Chris pulls the drawstrings to a curtain behind him and it parts, revealing a restaurant set. “A state of the art, 5-star dinner with your partner- we’ll be measuring your satisfaction level with these,” he says, placing a small band connected to several wires on Bonnie’s head. Chef rolls out a large machine on a dolly- the screen reading “neutral”

“This is our recently renovated Dramameter!” Chris says, patting the side of the metal beast. “For today’s challenge, your emotions will be turned into data and read back to us on this screen. Your goal is simple- to enjoy a pleasant, romantic date with your partner. Anyone who falls below “annoyed” on our scale will be disqualified from the final part of the challenge.”

Austin and Kelly stop their arguing for a moment and cross their arms in unison, turning away from each other. Scary sighs.

“Much better,”

---

SCARY: “It’s not that I hate romance- I acknowledge that it’s a massively important part of human history and culture- it’s just that it irks me when it makes people start acting irrationally, which is… all the time,”

---

Michela and O sit across from each other, chuckling and chatting like best friends. Peter and Fren are discussing the cultural implications of Miku, and Scary and Scruffy are swapping Geiger counters. Bonnie watches and groans.

“You could at least try to like this,” Caesar sighs. He's trying not to give up on them.

They grumble, taking a seat at the fancy table. “This is just not up my alley,”

“But swimming with man-eating sharks and dodging landmines is?”

Bonnie thinks for a moment, and then nods, dead-serious. Caesar rubs his temples.

---

BONNIE: “What? I’m not really a dating sim guy. I mean… it’s so complicated. Hit one wrong dialogue option and suddenly, the character you’re after hates you, and it takes two hours of real time to win them over again. Bashing zombie brains and carrying a team is much more relaxing.”

---

Chris drifts by their table, grinning. "By the way, anyone who takes off their cuffs is immediately disqualified," he chuckles as he walks away.

---

Kelly and Austin glare at each other, refusing to make conversation. Chef passes, dressed in a cupid outfit and playing a harp.

---

KELLY: “I can’t believe I never saw it before. This whole time, I’ve been so… distracted. Austin is great, but maybe I need to focus more on... me,”

---

AUSTIN: “This is what I get for trusting monogamy…”

---

“Trouble in paradise?” Chris asks, tapping on the drama meter that’s reading a cold “dissatisfied” between Kelly and Austin.

“What paradise?” Kelly remarks, turning away.

Fren and Peter watch from afar, splitting the complementary breadsticks Chef had served.

“That’s so weird. How could they start hating each other just like that?” Peter asks. “I mean, if someone was that mad at me, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Ever.”

Fren blinks. “It’s just… romance,” he shakes his head. “Sometimes the pressure is just too much.”

Peter frowns.

---

Kelly and Austin sit on a nearby set of bleachers, still connected at the wrists but turned in different directions. A loud buzzing noise from the set releases Fren and Peter, who sit on the benches below them.

Kelly’s eyes drift down. “What are you two doing here?”

Fren sighs. “Chris released hungry rats onto the set,”

They nod. Austin doesn’t bother joining in, too busy scribbling “Free Love” on his forearm with a marker he found. As a statement.

Peter looks up. “Do you guys want to talk?”

Fren nudges him as if to say “it’s not our battle.” But he’s ignored. Kelly shakes their head curtly and turns away. Another loud buzz. Michela and O sit on the bottom bleacher, laughing a little as O throws his Max mask away.

“What was that?” Fren asks.

“Chris found the mask and considered it cheating, so we were disqualified,” O says, tossing the paper cutout across the room. “But we made some good progress.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Michela rolls her eyes, smiling.

Another buzz. Scary and Scruffy walk over, arguing about something in scientific terms that no one else can understand. Peter nods along knowingly.

“Who’s left out there?” Michela asks, crossing her legs. “Bonnie and Caesar, and-”

The Anons look pale. “Joner and Sha-Mod,”

---

Joner and Sha-Mod sit awkwardly at their table, the former whistling and looking around the room, the latter playing with the salt and pepper shakers.

Chris approaches. “Keeping a steady mild, are we? Keep it up- you’re the only anons left,” he chuckles, walking away. The two turn to Bonnie and Caesar, who, at this point, haven’t said much of anything.

Bonnie is avoiding making eye contact with Caesar like the plague, and he’s taken his cue and is sweating profusely, twanging the tongs of his salad fork in his fingers.

Bonnie finally takes a deep breath. “It’s not that I don’t like you, I swear,”

Caesar nods along. They continue. “I’m just not sure what to do here,”

“You don’t have to be sure,” Caesar places a reassuring hand over Bonnie’s. They turn beet red and look down. “I can help! That’s what makes us so great, you know?”

He smiles. “We’re so different, but we understand each other. We each bring our different strengths to the table. And there’s nothing wrong with not knowing what to do,” he withdraws his hand and Bonnie exhales, noticing a light pink shade over his face as well. “I learned that lesson the hard way on island. You practically carried me, so let me carry you through this.”

Bonnie smiles gratefully. “You don’t have to-”

“I don't, you’re right. But I want to,” he smiles back. “You’re tough, but you don’t have to have your guard up all the time. You can let people help you.”

“It’s hard,” they protest, looking at their lap. “I don’t want to burden anyone.”

“Burden?! Me?!” Caesar laughs. “Please. Unless you’re my makeup specialist…”

Bonnie laughs back, and their drama meter score rises from “awkward” to “pleasant”.

Joner and Sha-Mod watch nervously, theirs still at the “mild” it’s been the entire round. They both swallow lumps in their throats and look from side to side, avoiding eye contact.

“Get in the game!” Scary yells.

Scruffy joins in. “You don’t have to kiss, guys! Just get along!”

The two force eye contact with each other and a beam of awkward unpleasantness gets blasted from their epicenter, knocking those close onto their backs.

“What is with those two?” Fren asks, helping Michela up. “They’re worse than the wads in the back.” He jabs a thumb forward, to where Kelly and Austin are arguing about who’s standing first.

Kelly finally yanks him up and he squeaks like a dog toy. But, just before he can fully stand, the chain of the handcuffs disintegrate and Austin falls to the floor. Kelly gasps.

“Kelly and Austin will not be eligible to compete in the final challenge- they’re out!” Chris yells into his megaphone.

Scary and Scruffy turn back to glare at them.

“And with that being said, Sha-Mod and Joner are clearly not suited to win this, so this round goes to the Fujoshis!”

Michela, O, Peter, and Fren cheer. Bonnie breathes a sigh of relief and whispers a quick “thank you” to Caesar. He nods.

“Onto the final part!”

---

“Every romance movie has the inevitable “breakup” in the third act- it’s a climax as old and true as time,” Chris says as Chef goes around, un-handcuffing everyone. “But, as in all happy endings, the lovebirds make their ways back to each other. Which you’ll be doing, blindfolded in the dark maze from last episode!”

The campers blink.

“Don’t worry, we loved it up appropriately. And Anons- if you manage to win, I'll call it a tie!" The Fujoshis protest, but Chris ignored them. "Chef, please escort one half of every pairing to the entrance,”

Chef yanks Peter, O, Scruffy, Bonnie, and Joner away as everyone else fastens their blindfolds.

“You know the drill. First pair to find your partners and get out of the maze is one pair closer to a victory for your team. Anyone who removes their blindfold is disqualified,” he notes. “Oh, and we left a few… surprises... in the maze you might want to keep an ear out for. Ready? Go!”

He fires a gun into the air right next to Caesar's ear and the campers run inside (besides the aforementioned, who yelps and falls backwards). Outside the maze still, Kelly and Austin sit on the asphalt. “You two are in detention. Might wanna Breakfast Club it up and make some amends before the elimination ceremony tonight,” Chris chuckles, walking away.

Kelly and Austin glare at each other.

---

“Michela?” O shouts into the maze. “Michela?”

He suddenly bumps into someone much taller. Fren huffs and almost falls over in his heels, but regains his balance. “Who’s there?”

“This is O. Can’t find Peter?”

He shakes his head. A chorus of different names echo in the maze- “O?” “Scary?” “Scruffy?” “Caesar?”

Joner walks by, blindfolded, not yelling anything at all.

---

As Joner continues through the maze, he bumps into someone. He swallows nervously. “Scruffy? Is that you?”

“It’s me,” Sha-Mod says, standing and wiping off his shirt. “Well, we might as well find a way out now.”

Joner sighs. “Yeah…”

---

SHA-MOD: "I did some thinking in that dark maze, cause there really isn't that much else to do, and I had a Sha-Piphany: I don't want to be on this show at all! It was fun when I was with my friends, but now it's like I checked into a hotel and they're not letting me leave," he pauses to think. "That's a pretty good idea for a song. The Hotel... Canada."

---

Kelly and Austin sit outside. Austin is watching a ladybug crawl around on the ground, looking for a place to hide from the scorching sun. He picks it up and sets it on his shoulder. Kelly smiles at the interaction, and then turns away.

“I don't mean to ruin the negative mood, baby…” Austin says, playing with the ladybug. “But if you’ve always felt this way, why didn’t you say something?”

“I didn’t even know until today. I mean… I thought we were perfect!”

“So did I, baby!”

“Maybe believing that we had no issues was what caused us to ignore the big ones…” Kelly sighs. “I feel like I’ve been putting myself aside for this relationship.”

“I’m sorry, baby. If it helps, I always feel like I’m living in your shadow. For the Queen’s sake, you’re lovely, you’re sharp, you’re stronger than any bloke I’ve ever met!”

Kelly laughs. “I appreciate it, but I think that’s another issue. We were too busy seeing each other as flawless that we couldn’t acknowledge the problems we had, so we couldn’t grow,” they look up. “Sorry, I’ve been listening to the lectures O gives himself when he thinks no one can hear him in the trailer.”

“No, baby, we all listen to him,” Austin shrugs. “But not closely enough.”

Kelly takes a deep breath, smiling. “I don’t hate you”

“I don’t hate you either!”

“Maybe… we should try being friends before dating,” they propose.

Austin sits up, considering it for a moment. “I have no tiffs with that at all. Friends are right groovy,”

The two shake hands just as Scary and Scruffy run out of the maze, panting. A giant bear in a pink tutu runs out and chases them across the lot. Kelly and Austin blink.

---

“This way!” Michela and O run past Bonnie, still alone. They listen to their pants get further and further in the distance and then sigh.

Even with their voice hoarse, they keep yelling. “Caesar!”

Nothing. Bonnie looks from side to side, as if their hearing might be heightened by turning in different directions. Still, nothing. They scratch their throat. “Come on, Caesar, don’t leave me here!”

---

Joner and Sha-Mod walk by in relative silence. Every few seconds, one coughs or sneezes or scratches themselves to announce their presence to the other.

Sha-Mod sighs. “Can I ask you something?”

“Um… sure,”

“You were only friends with me for McLovin, right?”

Joner pauses for a moment. “No, dude, of course not. I thought you were only friends with me because of McLovin,”

“No way! I mean, he’s why we started talking, but you’re my buddy now!”

“Really?” Joner pauses, thinking. “I guess… I guess I was just afraid of what happened with Michela happening with you, too.”

Sha-Mod shakes his head. “Whole different story. I’m here to stay,”

The two awkwardly try to fistbump and then miss several times before finally finding each other, just as they walk face-first into a wall.

---

Michela, O, Peter, Fren, Scary, Scruffy, and Kelly and Austin wait patiently on the asphalt outside. Chris whistles. “Man, these guys are really not doing well today,”

---

Bonnie yells again, and then coughs. “Caesar!”

Their voice is starting to give out. They’re starting to think risking immediate disqualification to take off their blindfold is worth it.

As they step through the maze, their foot lands on a tile on the floor that sinks. “Oh, great,”

Bonnie drops as a dozen heart-tipped arrows fly across the hall. When they stand and turn the opposite direction, they bump into someone.

“Caesar?!” they ask. No response, but they feel a pair of hands on their face. They sigh, relieved. "Caesar! Okay, let’s get out of here."

---

Joner and Sha-Mod wander through the maze, merrily chatting like nothing happened at all. As they feel a cool breeze, they gasp in delight and speed up.

“Outta my way!” a scratchy voice yells from behind them. Bonnie shoves the two to the side and pulls Caesar out of the maze first. The Fujoshis stand and cheer.

“Congratulations, Fujoshis! Anons… I’ll be seeing you tonight,” Chris chuckles, walking away. Joner and Sha-Mod exit seconds later, pulling off their blindfolds and smiling nervously at their unhappy teammates.

---

“Anons- you loved, but you ultimately lost. And in this special double-elimination, two of you will be going home,”

The team members look at each other nervously. “Only two of you are definitely safe. And those are… Scary and Scruffy,”

The four remaining players glance at each other. “Joner, Sha-Mod- you cost your team the win, twice. Kelly and Austin, you just plain refused to compete. But only two of you will be leaving. And those people… are…”

“Kelly and Austin. Sha-Mod and Joner, you’re safe,”

The latter sigh in relief, catching their golden Chris’. Kelly and Austin both look defeated, but get up anyway.

---

KELLY: “I’ve learned a lot about myself this past week. And, hey, maybe this is for the better. Austin and I both have a lot of individual growth to do, and I for one am glad it’s not going to be broadcasted on TV,”

---

AUSTIN: “Bummer, baby, so ungroovy. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that romance is full of bears and poison darts. Not for me, baby!”

---

Chris watches them leave with a grin. Scary wiggles their fingers as they wave goodbye in delight.

“Who will be walking the carpet of shame next time? And who will stay to play? Find out next episode on Total! Takes! Action!”

#tta #total takes action

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sin-sidejob · 2 years

Text

Cognito Watch Party:

Warnings: sfw, movie genres and references to thrillers, horror films, trashy tv and shows

Content: sfw, television and movie choices, various themes and genres of television and film

Reagan Ridley:

- Movies: unironically loves cult classic “bad films” that’re more popular but lower in quality. Also loves some psychological thrillers, animation, & sci-if stuff and watches them like comfort movies. Reagan watches: Space Jam + the sequel, Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, Grown Ups + Grown Ups 2, Inception, Don’t Look Up, All Dogs Go To Heaven, The Usual Suspects, Ghostbusters I-III, Austin Powers Saga, Harry Potter franchise, and War Dogs.

- TV: Reagan watches documentaries/docuseries, thrillers, clever and dark comedies, and animated shows, and series that get a little therapeutic for her. Therapy seems a bit of a stretch but seeing the family bullshit of others through Fleabag and Shameless help her lots. Reagan Watches: Ozark, Manhunt: Unabomber, The Legend of Korra, Arrested Development, Fleabag, Schitt’s Creek, Drunk History, History of Swear Words, Love Death + Robots, Forged In Fire, Shameless, Arcane, Black Mirror, Mindhunter, Community, and Russian Doll.

Brett Hand:

- Movies: I see this man loving 80’s feel-good flicks and Adam Sandler films. Like mindless, kitschy comedy and classics. Also watches trashy romcoms. Brett watches: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, The Outsiders, The Goonies, Stand By Me, The Sandlot, Top Gun & Maverick, Happy Gilmore, Grown Ups, The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy, Star Wars (original trilogy), Spaceballs, Die Hard, and Ghostbusters I-III.

- TV: hes a feel-good show person, avoiding spooky or stress-inducing shows and tv that could freak him out. He goes for mindless comedy that’s more domestic, preferring sitcom. Especially family centric ones! Brett watches: Modern Family, The Office, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Cheers, The Umbrella Academy, and Stranger Things. Also watches Parks and Rec, The Good Place, New Girl, King Of the Hill, M.A.D. tv, Bob’s Burgers, Robot Chicken, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Gravity Falls.

JR Scheimpough:

- Movies: Watches the classics™️ + organized crime films + white men movies. I don’t see him as a movie watcher like frequently but they’re some of the films he’d choose on a flight or commuting. JR watches: The Godfather part I & II, Casino, Goodfellas, Wolf of Wallstreet, American Psycho, Legally Blonde, Fight Club, The Usual Suspects, Scarface, Heat, The Longest Yard, Silence of the Lambs. He’s also got a soft spot for Finding Nemo, The Devil Wears Prada, Monty Python movies, and Sabrina (both the black & white film and the 90s one)

- TV: This man watches docuseries, drama shows, period dramas, and some business comedies. It’s a blend of boss-workplace dramatics and humor, historical drama, period pieces, and just little bits and pieces that get him laughing and forgetting about his day a bit. JR watches: Suits, Billions, Peaky Blinders, Ozark, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Succession, The Pentaverate, The Crown, The Wire, Ted Lasso, Barry, Fleabag, and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

Gigi Thompson:

- Movies: She’s got the wildest blend of gory slashers and feel-good chick flicks. Unsettlingly funny and ironic. Gigi’s just as giddy and smiley when watching the slashers as she is with seeing Elle Woods pass the LSAT. Movie night truly do be wild with this babe. Gigi watches: Legally Blonde, Carrie, Cujo, Mean Girls, Clueless, The Shining, Silence of the Lambs, Hush, The Exorcist, The Omen, Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Sabrina (the 90s version), New York Minute, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, The Ring, The Conjuring, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Halloweeen, Insidious, Sweet Home Alabama, and Candyman.

- TV: Similar taste in shows as she had with movies but sprinkles in boss bitch shows and avoids thriller or scary shows. She prefers the drama ones and avoids reality tv after the whole K*rdashian fiasco, preferring to keep celebrities far away from her and seen only on a screen. Gigi watches: Gossip Girl, Succession, Billions, Suits, 30 Rock, Veep, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Fleabag, Bridgerton, Disenchantment, First Kill, Dynasty, Ginny and Georgia, You, Insatiable, Villanelle, Inventing Anna, The Queen’s Gambit, and The Chair.

Andre Lee:

- Movies: Silly comedies, romcoms, and comedic coming of age stories. It’s a big ass blend of movies and films that he likes and watches, from spooky to silly and sexy to childish. Andre watches: Monty Python, Jackass, Fantastic Fungi, Osmosis Jones, The Wolf of Wallstreet, Shrek Saga, When Harry Met Sally, Steel Magnolias, Wayne’s World, Caddyshack, Animal House, Hush, The Boy, Fifty Shades of Grey, Ferngully, The Princess and the Frog, and Die Hard.

- TV: Andre watches Euphoria while getting high as blatant irony to the plot line. He thinks he’s hilarious. He also has variating taste of genres, kitschy comedy, animated shows, mindless shit. Half the time it’s stuff to get high to and other times it’s stuff he leaves on in the background. Andre watches: Disenchantment, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Gossip Girl, The Midnight Gospel, Narcos, Gilmore Girls, Total Drama, Tear Along the Dotted Line, Disjointed, The Simpsons, Saiki K, Grace and Frankie, M*A*S*H*, Kim’s Convenience, and Euphoria.

Robotus Alpha Beta:

- Movies: not going to lie, he doesn’t seem like a movie man? Like he’s one to watch them half-heartedly if it’s with you or a group, but he won’t go out of his way to watch a movie. Televisions a bit different for him. I think Ro can be lured into certain movies and he may watch some of your favorites on his own time to better understand you, but personally? Not for him. But if it came to it, Robotus watches: your favorites

- TV: he likes semi-mindless comedies and sitcoms??? He’s seen the foils of man in milliseconds and tries to avoid all the stuff he’s encountered. In turn, he goes to things that’re funny or dramatic that can remind him subtly of those he’s, ugh, friends with, and how they’ve made humanity more bearable. Robotus watches: The Umbrella Academy, Seinfeld, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Frasier, Succession, Modern Family, Fleabag, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The Boys, and Derry Girls.

Glenn Dolphman:

- Movies: Watches history documentaries, war films, military propaganda films, and period dramas. Also watches southern films too, for some nostalgia and comfort. Reminds him of his mumma’. Glenn watches: Steel Magnolias, A Few Good Men, Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump, Fried Green Tomatoes, The Help, The Notebook, Smokey and the Bandit, Jaws, Hacksaw Ridge, The Shawshank Redemption, Dunkirk, Jackie, Spencer.

- TV: mix of history shows, docuseries, military and law enforcement shows, and silly comedies. Some shows are for the similar dynamics to work, to his military life, and etc. others he just enjoys. Strange silly man. Glenn watches: Law and Order NCIS, The Sons of Liberty, Turn: Washington’s Spies, Downtown Abbey, Young Sheldon, Community, Space Force, The Pentaverate, Will and Grace, The Lincoln Lawyer, Bridgerton, Squid Game, and unironically, everything during shark week. And of course, M*A*S*H*

Magic Myc:

- Movies: a Blend of truly random shit that’s somewhat nostalgic but also a crackpot of dumb bullshittery that fits his persona wholly and completely. It’s funny and stupid and clever and smarmy. Just like him!! Myc watches: Animal House, Fantastic Fungi, Grown Ups, Don’t Look Up, Monty Python and the Holy Grail + The Life of Brian, The Usual Suspects, Harry Potter franchise, When Harry Met Sally, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Omen, The Birds, Casablanca, and Chucky.

- TV: i feel that he and Andre hang out and watch shit together but mainly talk shit, like get high or just sit around on a couch and absolutely pick apart whatever stupid shitbirds are running around on the screen. They’ll also make rituals of watching certain shows together and if they tv-cheat they get PISSED. Myc watches: Forged In Fire, The Umbrella Academy, Love It Or List It, Stranger Things, Total Drama, The Midnight Gospel, Bob’s Burgers, Master Chef, Chopped, Cutthroat Kitchen, House Hunters, Cowboy Bebop, Clone High, Amphibia, Gravity Falls, Robot Chicken, Love Death + Robots, America Ninja Warrior, Arrested Development, The Voice, America’s Got Talent, and Squid Game.

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