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zilabee · 2 years

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“He was my best friend,” says Ringo softly. “Yeah. I loved Harry.”

rolling stone interview

“Ringo and I spent a thousand hours laughing,” Nilsson said.

ringo: with a little help, by michael seth starr

Mark Hudson: “I think that Harry's friendship with John was also very very close, but I - I don't think it was as intimate as his relationship with Ringo Starr.”

Harry Nilsson: “I had a relationship with John - we were roommates a couple of times you know, short times […] But uh, Ringo and I are the, Ringo and I are friends. It's funny I always thought I would be closer to John but then over the years Ringo and I ended up being pals.”

Michael Seth Starr: Harry, born in Brooklyn, New York, in June 1941, was less than a year younger than Ringo. They were both three years old when their fathers (Richard and Edward, respectively) abandoned their families, never to return. They both enjoyed alcohol and practical jokes and were garrulous in nature, at least early in their relationship. Neither man had completed any semblance of an education. Ringo left school at the age of fifteen; Nilsson, who was extremely bright, dropped out of school in the ninth grade.

Ringo Starr: “I think I could always call Harry, night and day, and he would come and save me. I'm very lucky with friends like that.”

Chris O'Dell: “They became really, really close friends, and a lot of it was based on how much alike they were. They shared a sense of humour. You can never underestimate Ringo’s sense of humour. It’s there, it’s a huge part of who he is. Harry was also like that. [...] They were like brothers.”

Harry Nilsson: “I saw Ringo in an interview once looking very nervous saying “Well I'm probably the best rock and roll drummer in the world” and the truth is he is. But he looked very scared saying it. I could see him being scared about it, not scared, but not comfortable about it. And I wanted to be right there and say “Yes! You are! It's okay! You are the best rock and roll drummer in the world ever. That's it. Period, the end.”

Doug Hoefer (Harry's Cousin): “They would fight about shit and hang up on each other. Then time would go by and one of them would call the other back and they would pick up where they’d left off. I’m not really sure exactly how they pissed each other off, but they would . . . because Harry had a very strong personality as well.”

Stephanie La Motta: “He said, ‘I’m Harry’ and he goes searching all over the place - and I’m screaming for Ringo - who comes out and hugs Harry, because he loved Harry. They had a special bond. It was unbelievable this bond I saw between them. He loved Harry as much as Harry loved him.” (she was screaming because Harry was barging into their hotel room and she had no idea who he was)

Ringo Starr: “Harry’s no longer with us. He’s been gone 20 years now. I still miss him.”

Music played this way All I need is my imagination Take me far away Where I can be with everyone who loves me

Harry's Song, by Ringo, 2008

There's no more oyster bar There's no more Ringo Starr There's no one left to love but you and me

UCLA, by Harry Nilsson

Ringo paid for Harry to have cosmetic dentistry to straighten his front teeth. [...] Some of Nilsson's closest friends believed that self-consciousness about his crooked teeth had been a significant factor in his decision not to appear in live concerts. Samantha Juste, for example, said: "He didn't have great teeth. I remember when he had his teeth fixed, it did a lot for him. In the early days he didn't smile really. Those teeth made a big difference to him, and to his confidence."

- from "Nilsson, The Life of a Singer Songwriter" by Alyn Shipton

Most commentators have focused on "You're Breakin' My Heart" as the one song that expressed Nilsson's emotional torment about [his wife's] departure. However, there is another interpretation, which was that it represented his first quarrel with Ringo Starr. There are coded references to Starr and their social life together, notably in the lines, "You won't boogaloo - Run down to Tramps - Have a dance or two". The reference to the Beatles' Drive My Car [You won't drive my car, might be a star] is another clue to this possible interpretation.

- again from "Nilsson, The Life of a Singer Songwriter"

For reasons of his own, Ringo did not attend Harry’s funeral, which was held on January 17, a day that was rocked by aftershocks from an earthquake in nearby Northridge. He claimed to be too grief-stricken, and Barbara went in his place.

- from Ringo: With A Little Help, by Michael Seth Starr

"We tried every which way to get Ringo to talk on camera. What came back to us each time was that there are three people he just does not feel comfortable talking about in person: John Lennon, George Harrison and Harry Nilsson. It’s just too emotional for him and I totally respect his feelings on the matter. Ringo was, however, tremendously supportive of the film including providing us with photos and making it possible to use Son of Drac, a film that Ringo and Harry made in the early 1970s but has been locked away in a London vault since 1974. At the end of the day, we were happy to have his support and understood the decision he made. Sometime later we had heard that he saw the film and liked it but thought some things were missing from the story. And I said to myself, “Yeah, Ringo, you were missing…” (laughs).

- John Scheinfeld, about making 'Who is Harry Nilsson..?'

(I have found absolutely no evidence that ringo starr knitted this)

#harry nilsson #ringo starr #the beatles #the fact that the nilsson biography thinks the song about his divorce is probably actually about ringo #I googled and nobody else is claiming that song is about Ringo #just the person who has spent years researching Harry's life #and when you do that #you apparently come to the conclusion that #everything is ringo #(it reads much more to me like a song to his ex-wife complaining about the fact that she's *not* Ringo #so still very shippy)#and it's also the song that George made everyone sing at Harry's funeral because he clearly ships them too #there's a nice quote somewhere about how harry kind of worshipped john but he just loved ringo #I'm pretty sure there's also a quote out there of Ringo complaining about everyone asking him about the beatles when #there are people he loves more than the beatles #and I think he names Harry because of course he names Harry #but I can't find it anywhere #so I might have made it up

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duckiesdoodlesdelight · 2 months

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while you were out studying magic i was out studying the blade. and fireball

#tbh he would be pretty fun to play dude has NO common sense #he has a high int but its only because he is a very good learner. book smart #hes very bad at self control. god he'd be so fun to play #chaotic only because he doesnt know the laws they didnt teach him that at sword school #good because hes very nice! he likes being very nice #i wonder what his opinion on death and killing is. probably not too inclined towards the murderhobo life #and would definitely feel guilty if he killed an innocent person #hell even bad people if he kills them he'll feel bad #would ruin the lad's whole week honestly #hmm maybe i should rearrange some colors. unfortunately im sleepy and done with this drawing raaa

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mirandaputsherbestbuttforward · 2 months

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my mission to radicalize my Chinese immigrant neighbour named Jeff about landlords/rents continues

#we moved in at the same time and he has a wife and young daughter #and yet they're getting charged like $300 more #it's insane #they also live in a 1bd 1bath like me!#anyway i'm v open about my rent payments #anyway he's my only friend in this building SJKDHFJKSHDF #personal #he's probably in his 40s and works for the power company #and his wife and kiddo are very nice 😭#also w chinese naming conventions - when we exchanged phone numbers I obviously put my first/last name in the wrong way #soo he calls me by my last name and it's so endearing i dont have the heart to tell him SJKDHFKJHSDF #he also asks sometimes about english words #and i wanna ask to learn some basic Mandarin lol

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morhido · 1 year

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hunter + "please"

#it's sooo interesting how. even after all the shit he's gone through. he's still so /nice/#''please'' has vulnerability to it #even in the first one where he's partially lying to amity. he's still being 100% honest #belos probably instilled that 'please' and 'thank you' gets a person what they want. as per usual parenting customs #and then eventually that stopped working #so hunter learned to use 'please' as a sort of last resort #and! he uses it in such different ways!!!#''let me go so i can survive'' / ''leave so you won't get hurt'' / ''don't tell them so they won't hate me''#/ ''come back so i can make things right''#SORRY. sorry this makes no sens e. i'm very tired #toh #the owl house #toh hunter #hunter noceda #gekkering

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oshiawaseni · 2 years

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The unbreakable bond between two disconnected ends

While I do think that Deku is incredibly heroic, I also subscribe to the idea he loses himself the most and goes hardest specifically when it comes to Kacchan, I can’t see him motivated to this extent and acting what appears to be without limit for any other character and between us and Horikoshi knowing this little fact, it makes Bkdk so endearing and easy to rally behind.

A part of me feels that Kacchan sees all of Deku’s actions for him only as his reckless heroism, and that Deku would be like this for anyone… and this might be why they haven’t come to truly understand one another yet. Like is it really such a big coincidence that with the exception of Katsuki Bakugou Rising, Kacchan and Deku have never shown each other their heart and how strongly they feel for one another? Whether it’s simply batting in their corner to others or this deep emotional connection they have causing them stress and worry about the other, tirelessly wanting to get Deku back to the point of sleeplessness, even breakdowns and Deku’s quirk awakenings over Kacchan.

Hence Izuku’s shock with the apology and not accepting being called Izuku by him right away. That was surely because he doesn’t understand the scope of which Kacchan has fiercely worried over him and how that worry is now coming from a love for Izuku that’s probably always been resting inside him.

But we all know that rather than plain and platonic heroism, that likewise, when it involves Kacchan, Deku’s own loud actions have been coming from a place in his heart occupied by this unchangeable pure love for him and also Deku’s complete inability to accept his own existence in the world without Kacchan somewhere within his reach. Think of “Give him back!” That was the stubborn side of Izuku that wouldn’t let Kacchan go to a place where he couldn’t see him, watch over him and confirm his existence that’s right in front of him. What incredible attachment he has always felt towards him, despite everything.

Izuku kept tabs on Kacchan to the point he knows when he last spoke to him. To Deku, it didn’t matter what Kacchan was doing, as long as he could ascertain his presence nearby and that he’s okay, even if they weren’t necessarily on friendly terms. And Kacchan very much felt the same thing about Deku. “Watch me, Deku.” Watch how strong and cool of a hero I am, watch my back with those big eyes of yours and praise me like you always do. But when he realised Izuku was no longer in his reach, Kacchan fought in earnest for a chance to get him back again, to not just trailing behind him but by his side. Which is why their distance being removed and them communicating like best friends again is such a big deal and would absolutely mean the world to both of them.

I’ve always had a vague sense that Kacchan had been running away from Deku. Which side of Deku had Kacchan been running away from all this time? Heroism? Love? Both? Because Deku’s heart scared him. He didn’t just envy it or feel inferior to it - he also feared it. To me, Kacchan rejecting Deku’s kindness feels like someone saying no to a warm hug from somebody they care about on a freezing winter’s day. It made no sense. He pushes affection away so much to the point that he’s virtually touch starved now. So why did he really do it? It’s one of Decchan’s mysteries that I wish was explained fully.

And on the other side of things, Deku’s actions towards Kacchan felt more and more nonsensical as the story unfolded. There’s this confounding enigma that despite Kacchan treating Deku awfully for years, Deku has consistently always jumped very strongly to Kacchan’s defense - which makes you wonder what it is about them that allowed Deku to carry his four year old self’s pure and positive feelings towards Kacchan for so long. (This is why middle schooler bkdk is top tier dj for me, they often come up with their own answer to fill the gaping hole of missing context in this complicated bkdk puzzle.) And while I can’t consolidate in my head the truth to the mystery of their past that became such a complicated relationship in its current state (at least not a truth that belongs in a shounen… unless..? haha), I do know that Kacchan is now acutely aware of the fact this entire time he has been loved, not looked down on, by Deku and realised when Deku almost died that he also possesses feelings of love and attachment towards Deku too.

This revelation honestly affected him in a big way. It broke Kacchan’s hardened walls down piece by piece over time, until there was quite literally nothing left but his own exposed heart that he plainly laid out for Izuku.

The shot of the wound from his sacrifice that reopened - bleeding, vulnerable. A beautiful metaphor for his exposed heart and truth that he openly gives to Izuku for the first time in front of everybody. Because he realised Izuku is more important to him than his guilt and his shame and his pride.

And because they are such an iconic and invincible duo who above anything else, want to take care of each other, this does have me hoping Izuku will take his vulnerable heart and treat it gently at the end of everything, shounen or not.

But as of now, we’re at an emotional stand-still from Izuku’s side.

Kacchan’s words aged very well, past hundreds of chapters because despite being the protag of the story, we are always left wondering how Deku really feels. Kacchan’s frustration at Deku and characterisation of him here is so accurate lately 😅

I get the sense that all of this ambiguity they feel from the other has been written there for a reason and will have a meaningful climax where they will come to understand each other in the coming fight. Horikoshi places purpose behind all of the dialogue he writes - so with the dialogue between Deku and Toga in mind, when it comes to Izuku and Kacchan’s history and both not being fully aware of how much they care for one another, I think in the near future, they will acknowledge the inspiration and strength they’ve found in each other. “Don’t you also want to share the same heart?” Kacchan has been doing this with Izuku ever since DvK2 and we all know Izuku draws his own powers from Kacchan since the very beginning because he sees Kacchan not only as his personal hero, but as the embodiment of strength and confidence and overcoming one’s hardships. He watched him for years win against his biggest one of all: himself.

Because it’s not only All Might he’s been wanting to become more like, but someone else even closer to him. Someone who, without fail, has always motivated him to go beyond, above himself and even all logic and reason. And that someone has always been Kacchan. Ever since they were little. So now I am hoping they come to understand what’s inside each other’s hearts (especially Deku’s which is always shrouded in mystery.)

They understand each other’s strategies perfectly, and yet Izuku and Kacchan have always had this big gap whenever it came to knowing their true feelings. So as an answer to their disconnect over the years, an answer to their relationship which contains a mysterious and profoundly deep bond that leaves us wishing their gap to close even more, it makes sense that a moment will come to pass where they’ll really see and understand each other for the first time, without all of this evasiveness we’ve gotten used to.

#bakudeku #kana writes #bnha meta #op #Kacchan needs an answer to put his heart at ease we are missing Deku’s true feelings as always #as fanficy as it sounds thats whats happened and needs to happen to placate this #gaping hole in their relationship that you can see Kacchan wants to be filled with Izuku #the person Deku has taken the most inspiration from is probably Kacchan so it’s quite funny he only mentions all might #when Kacchan’s bright hopeful eyes gave him hope and dreams too #horikoshi you are going to have to address this sooner or later sir 😅#long post #(again sorry) XD'#also how this manifests is uncertain but maybe it has something to do with AFO/OFA #i like the idea of a metaphysical connection #because these guys are so bad at communicating to each other their feelings lol #something that will force them to communicate would be nice #im excited for 2 things: 2nd's power and bkdk getting closer lol #🙏❤️ it’s a very sad time on social media lately so I’m sending my prayers

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danielnelsen · 3 months

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mmmmm thunder bad

#everything about storms is so nice except for fucking thunder. why do i have to have thunder issues #it only knocked our power out for a minute (and that lightning definitely looked/sounded EXTREMELY close yeesh)#poor billy got a bit startled but he settled down reasonably fast given how loud it was #ok i think taking a minute to stop and write this has helped distract me. shouldn’t need my anxiety meds #might take my heart meds tho idk. probably good to be safe and make sure i’m chill #actually the thing that’s helped me calm down is very obviously that the thunder has stopped #rumbles in the distance don’t bother me. sheet lighting is fine #oh there was just another flash never mind hhhhh it’s picking up again #personal

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miyuskye · 7 months

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ready to fight anyone slandering pudding and sanji x pudding

#sanji x pudding #one piece #vinsmoke sanji #charlotte pudding #sanpuri #this is VERY personal #and it's oh so strange that every post i see where people say that #1 pudding is too young #2 pudding is mentally insane #3 she doesn't deserve him because he has ~deeper relationships~ with others #and yadda yadda yadda #every single one of those people either ships him with someone else #usually nami #or self inserts the hell out of themself and ships them with sanji #I MEAN I GET IT FOLKS if it was law in sanji's place i would probably be in denial too #but come on sanji is the ladies man why are you upset that he got himself a nice lady????#anyway pudding is just misunderstood leave her alone

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lurking-latinist · 8 months

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🐈

#ooh I have a lot of thoughts about Six and Charley and her mysteriousness and how he responds to it #but they intersect with my Six's Mental Health Thoughts which are extremely headcanony #and I know a lot of the fandom would rather just kind of wall off Twin Dilemma and assume Six's proper characterization doesn't include it #and I don't know that I blame them for that #but I like trying to make things fit together #and also there's no way to do that without probably misusing real-world mental health terminology #because (watsonian) the doctor is an alien with an alien brain and (doylist) the writers do not know all that much about psychiatry #but. at least for a bit after his regeneration he deals with paranoia right?#like that's the term the narrative uses. (and it clearly explains his attack on peri - he's perceiving her as a threat due to delusion)#& she says 'I'm not letting a manic depressive paranoid personality like you shut me up' & he objects specifically to 'manic depressive'#later in uhhhh revelation of the daleks? he doesn't tell her about a real danger #and he says 'I didn't want to burden you with what might have been a piece of paranoid speculation on my part'#again I cannot emphasize enough how much I am talking about a fictional character with fictional problems. I do not know psychiatry either!#I do not want to mislead #but one of this character's problems is that he has a badly calibrated sense of danger. sometimes he sees things as threatening that aren't #and sometimes he overcompensates for that #and I think when he first meets Charley he is really not very sure whether he should trust the alarm bells he's hearing or not #she seems deeply suspicious! but also nice? he wants to like her? but deeply suspicious!#'or am I just being crazy?' he asks himself #and so he just kind of... keeps watching her #also unrelatedly to all that I think he kind of likes having the excuse of Mystery for doing what he does anyway which is orbiting her #just slightly obsessing over his companion at the time even if he also occasionally forgets they're there #(he's just very all or nothing in everything all the time)#but yeah. you know how 11 gets about Clara and her Mystery Plotline? 6 is like that about every companion in turn anyway #so he doesn't actually mind having the excuse of Mystery with Charley #this is also why 6 and Clara is so compelling #(this was a tag essay in response to lrb but I decided it was opening too many cans of worms and needed its own post)

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britneyshakespeare · 22 days

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i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

#tales from diana #long post #sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness #and idk. im tired. im so tired #do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not #thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation #not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again #that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para #i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth #i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to #'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on #the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god #i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him #like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do #earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said #that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild #my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak #like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior #i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task #and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did #i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly #like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW #that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer #a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively #that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him

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