#he needs to talk to someone professional
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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I hope this is Simon talking to Boris.
#simon eriksson#he needs to talk about his trauma with someone professional#and based on the trailer#shit is going to happen again#young royals#yr s3 spoilers#yr s3
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very proud to be here with all of you as we witnessed an exquisitely beautiful boy become an exquisitely beautiful man ... x x x x
#lando norris#@oscah apropos of what we were talking abt !!#y'all the depth of feeling behind me just finding him unbelievably hot#like he's someone who stands as an equal to his two former teammates - the guys he needed while he was growing up#but he spent a season with someone who treated him like the seasoned professional he is and it's like#his mind realized he already was everything he needed to be#and then he spent a winter looking at the whole wide world in a new way#and then his face caught up#sorry !!!! ;__;#model lando#venus as a boy
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why is it always the forbidden fruit that entices me the most (´ . .̫ . `)
#🚶🏾♀️ not that it impacts the way i feel about anyone else but i actually do fr love my manager and it's crazy bc idk how or when this#happened. like i have fun by myself n i love my friends but i rly am at my happiest when I'm next to her huh (´ . .̫ . `) ♡#and that is a wild way to feel about someone i work with let alone who supervises me akdkaka#i still can't believe how naturally and affirmingly “i love you” jumped out of me the other day without thinking about it#and i do??¿ after thinking about it??¿ i would literally do anything for you#and she said she loves me too 😵💫 and we've never articulated that before. and now our talks feel more personal than before but it#was a much bigger conversation for sure (´ . .̫ . `) she's out of work this week though and I'm thinking about her.#🚶🏾♀️i wanna show her my knife throwing but idkk...... struggling w where the line between professional and personal needs to be 💀#i treat my work friends and my real friends very differently lol. i don't know (´ . .̫ . `) aaa#now that i said it it's like a dam of feelings burst ૮ – ﻌ–ა girl...#she has a husband. but he's a scrub. but she's my boss. but we're already so sweet to each other. but i shouldn't. but i want to#aaauuugghghfhfghhghkhkjltlskxkvofjw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ignore me and my pining (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ♡ im crazy about that girl. i really am huh.. 🚶🏾♀️#if you got to hang out with her u would get it.... i can't believe her man ain't shit... pls let me give u my attention#u don't have to be mine nor am i wanting that but let me take care of you (｡ﾉω＼｡) ♡ u work so hard for everyone else#she's fantasizing.... ......... wanting.. contemplating...?..?? no. no....??¿......? ......... 😐 hm#lmao
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If I’m not able to pull up the DSM-5 and check off at least half of the criteria for autism when reading a Batman run, then I believe the author fundamentally misunderstands Batman’s character.
It’s not that I’m saying Bruce should be autistic. What I am saying is that if Bruce is not at least neurodivergent-coded then he ultimately loses nearly all of his most defining habits and personality traits. Expecially the ones that are shown through interacting with other characters & internal dialogue.
#batman#dc comics#bruce wayne#dc#most of his defining characteristics are autistic traits#low empathy and being able to process your emotions#having a very strong sense of Justice and What Is Right#only feeling emotions in the extremes or feeling nothing#it’s to the point for me where anger gives almost the same feeling as being happy#just because it’s as intense of an emotion that it almost feels the same#and as someone who has gone to therapy for many years to understand that while anger is an easier way to feel emotions#seeking happiness is not only healthier but makes you not a shit person to be around#that was me who learned that. Bruce simply did not#so therefore: anger & rage & pain help him feel#so he deliberately seeks it out#he’s also very awkward at talking to people#not to fucking mention he’s more comfortable talking to people in a professional setting than in an unprofessional one#he has difficulty processing and expressing emotions and just ASSUMES that people know what they mean to him#instead of telling them. this leads to Many communication issues where people around Bruce don’t feel appreciated or loved because he#NEVER FUCKING TELLS THEM AND JUST ASSUMES THEY KNOW! NO THEY DO NOT BRUCE YOU ACTUALLY NEED TO TELL THEM#his exceptionally dry humor is exactly my autistic sense of humor#lightly making fun of friends or lying about stuff obviously with a straight face and deadpan delivery#his nonverbal ‘hnm’s#his hyporeactivity to sensory input and pain are also very telling#his communication issues because he’s on a different wavelength than those around him#i could go on and on and on but that’s all for now#actually autistic
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Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.
#vent following#its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother#no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism.#there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that.#he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that#anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like#“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case#yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me.#and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping#and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline.#and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me#not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad.#i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute#i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself.#but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion#i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing#but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone#and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after.#i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn#quinns daily yapping post#rather#quinns personal hell
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having majored in game design when i love watching the kinda stuff most often made by amateurs was a mistake i want to rip my hair out so often 😭
#yes anyone can design a game#but ohhhh boy it is so rare that someone goes out of their way to learn the underlying stuff#and they all just trial and error their way through it#like yes this field is new but not so new that we need to keep going this!! there’s so many resources out there to learn!!!#(this is why decked out is the best of these games right now. tango actually was a professional game developer before he did yt.)#talking#gamedev talk
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side note. im just upset now about how it feels like my work is no longer belonging to me. I dont get to choose what it is put into. it is now a comodity for whoever believes that they have a right to my work.
When I work in an art-based industry, what I produce will not be my own. It will be owned by another company who hired me. I could spend hours on it and pour my life force into what I create, but it could be held by the company and not released or released and removed from my ownership.
Now tumblr is the same. now every website is the same. You never have control of what you post forever. You never get to choose what happens to your online work. But now I know that what I post will go directly into the content meatgrinder that is AI technology. I will not get to choose this. I will not get to own my work any more. Even if I opt out, even if thousands of users opt out, not everybody will. Not everybody will know. Not everybody will want to. Not everybody will be bothered.
Theres a difference between individuals reposting my work onto pinterest and an entire blog being fed into AI. Theres a difference between a single human feeding artwork that isnt theirs into AI and an automatic process in which my data, my artwork, my life is being fed into AI. I will never own my own work again unless I keep it directly next to me and never share it.
Im debating pulling all of my work from this website.
#fish talks#Im not sure what to do#I dont want my stuff used I want it to be enjoyed#but how can i enjoy my work being enjoyed by people and websites that i cant trust#i really dont know what to do about this#I think tomorrow Im going to ask someone for their pov#he's always given me good advice on AI debates idk#and I know most of the terms in this will be wrong and thats because I dont know how to phrase the processes of AI#Im not a machine. Dont treat my art as a product. Treat me as a person. as an artist.#dont treat me as something to be sold.#this year hasnt been my most productive year#I dont need likes and reblogs as much as I used to#But I also dont see how I am supposed to grow my 'brand' as someone who dreams of being an online professional if I cant enjoy being online#if i cant trust the websites that i use#idk. this is confusing#much less to mention the friends that i could be losing if i disappear from this website#i dont even want to reblog other peoples art because i dont know how to turn off the thing yet#how will i know if my art has been fed into AI?? How long does that take? How long do i have from when i get the option to turn it off#and when I do turn it off?#agggghhh fuck all of this.#ai#anti ai
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I am constantly thinking about how fucked Maruki’s treatment of Akechi is. As much as he says he isn’t holding Akechi’s life hostage he SO IS but also man. If Akira picks Akechi’s life over. You know. The autonomy of the entire human race. The person in the bad ending is just not Akechi, basically everything real about Akechi has been scooped out and replaced with this light fluffy nothing. Implicitly Maruki just, on at least some level, believes that Akechi as he is is too fucked and horrible to exist in his perfect world, so supernatural lobotomy is the only option.
#clefairy squeaks#It’s sooooo fucked!!!!#The way he talks ABOUT Akechi while he’s literally standing right next to him is insane#He doesn’t see him as a person!! just a shiny toy he wants Akira to have!#He does the same with Sumi Sumire does NOT exist in his best reality only Kasumi!!#Shes better off as not herself because herself is too fucked up and traumatised and flawed!#Someone needs to add canned laughter to the bad ending because it’s soooo hollow sitcom energy#It does speak to a real trend of MH professionals with genuine good intent who also just like#Would rather difficult mentally ill and traumatised people just…go away#Just become a version of you that doesn’t exist and possibly never did
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I love the fact that Yunho stayed true to his artistry throughout the years. Sadly the same can’t be said for younger male idols like Taemin or Kai, in my opinion, who strayed so far away from what we saw of them doing in their groups. And it got me thinking; how much of it is them and how much of it is SM’s marketing strategy? How can their group self and solo self be soooo different? For me they’re not selling their solo self well enough to convince me that that them you know what I am? It feels almost like they’re acting (yes, every performer acts a little bit) but with Kai and Taemin it looks like they’re both playing a role…
#i genuinely do not know how to answer this sldkfsdkljfsldkjf#but you probably should have read more than one post on my blog before you sent this#considering i 1) have several of the top posts in the taemin meta tag#and 2) one of the things i talk about quite frequently is about HOW ACTING IS IMPORTANT TO GOOD PERFORMANCE#unironically: do you think every idol is totally genuine in their performances? and that 'playing a role' means something is bad art??#bc if you do you need to get a grip real quick darling bc i can guarantee that even yunho is 'playing a role'#...do you not think that human beings have depth??? that they can want to portray more than one thing in different performances???#look. if you dont like taemin and kai's solo work that's totally fine. you are allowed to have your opinions and disliking things is fine#but to say that neither of them are 'selling' their work well enough to you bc it 'looks like theyre acting'??????#kindly but what the fuck is wrong with you#what the fuck else do you want them to DO????????#taemin especially has talked a LOT on many separate occasions for many years now about how much artistic input he has and how he makes work#also also: literally WHO CARES if its sm marketing?? i'm here for the music and for the performances not some weird parasocial shit#i am under no impression that i know anything about these artists' personal lives or what theyre really like and i dont care to know#all i care about is the work that gets produced and if its good or not#text#answers#i cant believe someone had the audacity to send ME. A TRAINED THEATRE PROFESSIONAL!! the phrase ''yes every performer acts a little bit''#do you hear yourself. do you.#i almost thought this was bait bc you literally managed to hit every point i would strongly disagree with you on#like some kind of perverse internet argument bingo. i feel like i should applaud you. well done!#hall of fame asks
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diversity loss! those ppl correctly gendering u assumed you're straight..
#well 'correctly gendering' they genuinely just saw me as Some Guy i think so automatically referred to me as he#anyway there are a group of usually four to five ppl at the train station nearest to me who stop u and talk to you about sj stuff and/or as#you to donate. so stuff like immigrant rights lgbtq+ rights the environment et cetera & they were eyeing me when i was approaching (to#potentially be stopped & talked to etc. i get stopped like. 80% of the time around there) but then turned back towards each other and said#something along the lines of 'oh this is so scary this is so hard he's so scary' and then didn't stop me to talk and literally as i walked#away (i was JUST past them some ppl rlly do not wait for someone to be out of earsight to tall abt them) one of them said 'his face looked#good (as in approachable & a potential Person To Converse With) but the rest of him....straight man. look at that blouse.'#the previous sentence loosely quoted but it was smth like that...........WTF DO U MEAN STRAIGHT MAN??? TAKE THAT BACK PLEASE I BEG 😭🙏#<<<<<< also they meant cis straight man specifically i'm pretty sure...which is the absolute worst part of that whole assumption.#ALSO what's wrong with my blouse.........#thanks 4 the gender euphoria though. much obliged 👍#double also i don't think i'm using this meme setup thingie in the way it is supposed to be used but it makes sense either way. to me.#TRIPLE ALSO we're just assuming that if someone is a straight man they immediately don't gaf about social justice stuff?? okay.....#i mean i get it but also big generalization. but also i get it. but also big generalization. anyway. in other news i found out my grandma#used to write my grandpa actual poems. like ACTUAL actual poems of the professional sort that she made up and wrote down herself to give#to him <3333#& more news though this one is not very surprising and in fact very predictable I AM SO SLEEPY TIRED. ZONK TOWN I'M COMING DON'T U WORRY❗❗#just need to read the newspaper (the mutuals' posts of 2day) and then i am going to bed IMMEDIATELY u best believe.
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Harry styles does movie interviews the same way he does songwriting.... Poorly and with little payoff
#If you need like 5 writers for the most basic disorganized brain vomit type writing chances are you're not a great writer#I feel for Chris 'English bachelor/reads feminist theory for fun' pine someone pls save him 😭😭#'my fav thing abt the movie is it feels like a movie' he sounds like a drunk guy trying to have a conversation after one too many drinks#I don't even go here again I just like being a hater#Like mf are you serious 💀💀😩#don't worry darling#venice film festival#On a better note can we PLEASE talk any brendon Fraser getting a standing ovation instead can we change topic ffa#harry styles#Yeah I'll tag it Idc#wow anna said something#anna's shitposts#Edit: and movies as a whole for that matter mf got 12s and now he's a lead amongst a list professional actors? Gtfo...
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trudging off to a new psychologist like a little kitty holding a rucksack with tears in his little eyes turning around forlornly to check if he really has to go before dramatically looking forward to continue toward his demise
#loved my old one but i basically need an interrogation under pain of death to make me talk about anything real and he was being too nice#also bc uh. started researching trauma. and they were like ‘if you’ve experienced a traumatic event and have experienced these symptoms for#more than a month potentially see a professional about ptsd’ so i started researching ptsd and oh boy am i uh. tickin some boxes there#so i need to get that looked at#who knew feeling paralysing fear at the sound of someone coughing for the past two years is abnormal (sarcasm)#vent tw
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"Oh no this character is MILDLY out of character. He would not fucking say that image here" Shut the fuck UPPPPP SHUT UP I get being mad about mischaracterization but literally one of my biggest fucking anxieties is writing shitty out of character dialogue do you think you're helpful?? At all?? Especially since even aside from me a lot of people writing out of character are yknow KIDS and GOD FORBID someone write something that isn't very good GOD FORBID someone not create a PERFECT FANFICTION with PERFECT DIALOGUE FIRST TRY, GOD FUCKIN FORBID
#this is literally dragging my mental health down and i cna't fucking write anymore because i'm scared im gonna write out of character#if you wanna get angry about mischaracterization DON'T SCREAM IT TO THE FUCKING WORLD#TALK ABOUT IT IN YOUR FUCKING DISCORD SERVER#or better yet: SHUT THE FUCK UP#vent#god forbid people passionate about media aren't fucking professionals#god forbid people writing fanfiction aren't fucking perfect at characterizing them#god forbid someone have a different interpretation of a character than you#god fucking forbid#this is especially getting me as a perfectionist angry because I AM A FUCKING PERFECTIONIST#i NEED everything i make to be ABSOLUTELY AMAZING#CONSTANTLY fucking seeing the ''he would not fucking say that'' image about fandoms DOESN'T FUCKING HELP#SHUT. UP.#LET ME FUCKING HAVE FUN
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:^/
#i look so fucking hot today#and i have nobody to appreciate it#my best friend lives 8 hrs away and constantly leaves me on read#which i understand we both tend to drop off the face of the earth when we arent around each other#my only other friend is a guy like 3 yrs younger than me who i have more of a like ? casual friendship w where we like#complain about the government and check in on each other n stuf#and like hes a very good boy but i cant like Talk to him about my life or show him my very attractive fit bc thatd be weird asf#and the only other person i talk to is my ex lmfaooo and that has its whole set of issues#i really desperately need friends or like a bf or something like i cant sit with myself like this every day or im gonna kms#i should hit up my therapist lmaoo i ghosted her a while ago and gooooood would i love someone to talk to rn lmao#like someone who already knows backstory and like the shit involved in my stupid shitty life#man i made my makeup look so nice so i coukd stop crying all day and now i fucking ruined it lmfao#idk why im so stressed these days i just want to be dead#i genuinely think i need like professional help lol like this is way worse than normal#maybe seasonal depression on top of the regular shit ? idk whats even happening anymore#i think im gonna really try and read a book so today so i can not exist for a bit#man and i got all fancy n shit 😔😔😔😔 this sucks ass#maybe i should get some sort of diary app or soemthing so i dont have to do this on tumbkr lmfao#prpbably less embarassing that way#whatever not like ppl reading this really care plus its interesting to see ppls thots i think#i hope u enjoyed the show :^)#gommywords
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i know i’ve been super dead on here and that is simply because i am also dead in real life. peace & love <3
#Ravage.txt#dl#fr tho i’ve mostly been gaming and trying to not have an anxiety attack over schoolwork and working and scrolling reddit#hold on lemme check how many assignment pages i have for psych due wednesday#i have 12. 12 fucking individual assignments all due WEDNESDAY!!!!!#i’m hoping i’m PRAYING that it’s just like. ‘oh you just need the homework website to put a checkmark saying i’ve opened one page and that’s#one assignment so in reality i have like 2 actual pieces of homework the rest is reading ok’ but idkkk#and my dad’s out at a meeting so i can’t get him to look at my canvas page :/ i’m absolutely gonna be talking to someone about how terribly#it is set up but i don’t know who to contact and what to say in a professional manner so im waiting on my dad#and i don’t know if ill be able to game again until monday :((( i use my brother’s ps5 while he’s at school since he’s using when he gets#home so i’d have to ask him to let me play for a couple hours. no pc yet bc i move around way too much to make it more valuable to me than a#laptop but once i do get a stationary setup im gonna buy the game again 💪💪
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