#he gross ew
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"i ain't takin' a fuckin' bath."
katsuki's half-undressed, standing in the kitchen with the fridge doors wide open; shirtless, shoulders broad and muscles round and taut, cool air raising goosebumps across his exposed skin. his un-buttoned tac pants are dangerously low on his hips, so low that you wonder—while staring at the dimples of his back—if he's doing it on purpose.
the dewy sheen of sweat he'd come home with has gone matte, leaving him in a thin, sticky, grimy layer that is grimace-inducing to feel. like most nights, dirt and soot and even blood—grown dark and less worrisome with time—color him haphazardly, strewn across his body; a mosaic of dynamight, made by his own hands.
"but you stink," you fail to suppress a smile when he snaps his head around, to fix you with an ugly look that you return. he manages to hide his own amusement in the bulge of his bicep. "i'm serious! a bath will help you relax!"
turning back to the open fridge, he grumbles, "i am relaxed," in a tone that doesn't sound relaxed. at all.
"come on," you urge, shuffling up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist despite all his dried grease and muck. "you go first and i'll be there in a minute."
that catches his attention enough that he finally closes the doors, facing you as he runs a lazy hand over his stomach. to his credit, he does look a bit more relaxed than he had when he'd come through the door—but the set of his jaw is still too stern, brow only ever furrowed, a little more argumentative than usual, even if it's harmless.
katsuki seems to consider your unspoken proposition, before finally surrendering with a roll of his eyes. "fine, but i'm takin' a shower like a grown ass man."
"no!" you groan, latching onto his arm when he moves to step around you. you try to dig your heels into the ground, but you're in the kitchen in socks, and katsuki only yanks you after him with a wicked grin. "bath! a bath will help you relax, i mean it! i've got lavender oils!"
"i ain't using' your frilly shit!"
he finally slips from you when you sputter out a laugh, tugging free from your grip before throwing you a look that is hot in more ways than one. innocent as you aimed to be, something tightens in your stomach; awakened at the sight of him.
you warn, "i'm only coming if you're in the bath!" and his loud, exaggerated groan echoes nearly throughout your entire house, swallowing up your chirpy laugh.
—but, much to your surprise, he listens.
you let him soak for a good five minutes before following after, and when you find him, he's got his head leaned back over the edge, elbows resting on either side of the tub, legs bent and knees sticking up out of the water. handsome as ever, you think, a little dreamy, before the marble of him shifts at your arrival.
he only opens one eye, and you can see already the tension has drained from his face; half-asleep, a little bloodshot and breathing too even to convince you otherwise.
"well, well, well," you murmur, lowering to the floor on your knees after his eye slips shut again. "look at you, princess."
katsuki makes a haughty noise of irritation, but doesn't bite back: a dead giveaway of his exhaustion. instead his hand finds the material of your shirt, tugging on it lightly before he slurs out, "get y'r ass in the tub."
you'd bite his fingers if they weren't still disgusting, but you place a teeny kiss on the cleanest spot you can see on his wrist. "i don't need a bath, but thanks."
"hah?" he grunts, eye shooting open again as he frowns at you. when you only smile coyly at him, he raises his head and glares at you properly. "y'dirty liar, you said—"
"i said i'd be right behind you," you grin. "not that i'd be getting in."
the water sloshes up against the sides as he straightens his posture, baring his teeth at you as he prepares, you think, to lunge out and haul you in with him despite a screaming protest—but you reach forward just before he can, dipping a hand down into the warmth right between his thighs.
katsuki jumps, seriously, leg kicking out so hard that his heel slams into the edge of the tub, when you gently hold him where he's soft. "jesus!" he all but yelps, eyes going a little wide as he realizes what you've done. what you've made of him.
he's still—marble-still—air sucking in sharply between his parted, frozen lips as you touch him, and heat pools so obviously, so suddenly, in his cheeks, sweet enough that you want to bite into the apples of them. in your hand he swells thick, quickly, a little slippery from the soap he's already added to the water.
all his tension returns, as a different strain; katsuki swallows, hard, as his eyes dart back and forth between your own and where your hand disappears into the water; when you gently rub your thumb back and forth across the tip of him, his back straightens, even moreso, and, you don't think he knows it, but his legs part even further.
an invitation if you'd ever seen one.
he finally comes back to life when you lean in close enough to nudge your nose to his, just to see him blink.
he's so cute, you want to eat him alive.
"the f-fuck are y'doin'?" he whispers, eyes dropping back down as you stroke him lightly, just enough to coil him tighter. at the end of the tub, water sloshes quietly from the movement, and katsuki's ears burn.
you've caught him entirely off guard, and if it wasn't clear before, it becomes crystalline when you kiss him, deeply. he's lazy to reciprocate, breathing softly, open-mouthed, as you press a soft kiss to his top lip and then to his bottom, whispering his name back to him just to hear his sharp inhale.
you time a clever stroke of your wrist with the firm press of your mouth to his, insistent and fast, urging the wildness of him to catch up, to come out. it hits him all at once—your desire, his own, the heat of it all—and his hand shoots out of the water to grip the back of your neck, a deep groan slipping from his chest as his cock kicks in your hand.
you try more than once to pull back from him with a sneaky little laugh, but his fingers tangle in your hair and he kisses your teeth and you think, maybe, you're not teasing him enough. his knees knock lightly against the ceramic as he tries to spread them, even further, and his hips shift up with every slick pump of your fist, urgent and eager.
he speaks, furiously, against your lips, when you snatch your hand away, instead teasing your fingers along the inside of his thigh. "get—in th'fuckin' tub." his shoulders tremble, ever so slightly. "i ain't askin' again."
you laugh against him and his nostrils flare. "you didn't ask at all!"
"so quit your bullshit already."
you lick his bottom lip, nipping at the fat of it gently before weaving your own hand into his damp hair. "no," you tease, like a brat, but when you tug enough at the strands, he gets the hint and allows you to pull away. "i'm trying to help you relax, you know?"
katsuki doesn't respond at first, only huffing out a frustrated sound when you wrap your hand around his length again. his face is steaming, despite how firm he's trying to be; your own desire strikes hot when his head tips back just slightly, jaw straining as he grits his teeth.
"no," he finally grunts, eyes dark and pinned to you. "'s'the last thing i feel, is-is relaxed."
"hmm," you make a point to frown and look away, like you're thinking, but katsuki's impatience wins out and he drags you back in for a shuddering kiss. he's fervent, now, nipping at your lip and brushing his tongue against your own eagerly, trying to muffle a painful sound against your cheek. "that's too bad," you tell him—but you don't think he hears you, really, over his low curse and the returning slosh of water against the tub.
but when you ask him again, only a handful of minutes later—his boneless answer is precisely what you were looking for.
#tw dirty LOL#heheheh#idk what this is it literally just popped into my head out of nowhere sorry !!!#he's such a gross dirty boy ew#✿ willow writes#✿ thoughts: bakugou#✿ theme: domestic bakugou
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I think an underappreciated aspect of s1 of Elementary is Joan being like “ugh grisly murders? dangerous crimes? other bizarre problems and antics my client is getting up to? Can’t wait to be done with all this” and turning around and getting so invested in solving the case. Like no wonder Sherlock was offering her an apprenticeship by the end of the season, despite what she said Joan was not only highly skilled but also very interested in Sherlock’s work.
#elementary#Its been a while since I watched it#Joan: ew murder#Sherlock: you dont have to see#Joan: shut up and help me examine the body#there's this... delightful little look sherlock gives early joan#even back when he was still antagonistic towards her#she'd say or do something about the investigation and he'd be like Oh#Oh you're like me#she was such a natural problem solver and observant#but moreover wasn't grossed or weirded out by the things/work that he did#as judgey as she *sounded* sometimes#it was clear she thought it all was facsinating#which i think was a new experience for sherlock#to find a companion in the odd and obscure
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vee is back on her writing shit (maybe? for like one week, maybe? but I’m gonna enjoy it while it lasts) — jake seresin x fem!reader; suggestive language; sexual innuendo; sweaty Jake yum yum 🌻
With his back against the wall, Jake sinks to the floor, a pile of aching muscles and tired limbs. A bead of sweat follows the curve of his chin and then drips onto his bare chest, rising and falling rapidly with the effort of catching an elusive breath.
That’s how you find him, glistening and warm, his biceps still bulging from pushing himself to the absolute limit of his strength. Another thirty pounds. Another twenty reps. Whatever it took to be better. To be the best. Jake, you know, is unrelenting in his physicality, in his drive to one-up everyone, including himself.
Still, you can’t help but to tease him, nudging at his thigh with your toe, your worn sneakers pressed to his fitted gym shorts. Nearby, a barbell you wouldn’t dream of trying to lift is waiting to be unweighted and racked.
“Did you wear yourself out, big boy?”
Jake gazes up at you with a fresh smirk on his sweaty face, his green eyes glinting with amusement at the suggestive nickname you only use when you’re in a very particular mood.
And, honest to God? You hadn’t been in that mood when you’d dragged yourself from your third-floor office to the nearest gym on base, but seeing Jake in all his shirtless, sweat-covered, fucking romance novel cover glory would be enough to put you in the mood no matter what.
After all, you had eyes.
“Not enough that I can’t still wear you out, sweets,” Jake replies, all cool words and suave affect. He knows the way he jumbles you up inside (in more ways than one).
You make a small noise of amusement in your throat and pull your sweatshirt up over your head, leaving yourself wearing a sports bra and Jake’s gaze. “Well, I did want to get some cardio in before hitting the weights. Give a girl a hand?”
Turning on your heel, you start toward the changing room, ignoring Jake when he almost certainly says that he’ll give you more than just a hand.
#jake seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin#jake hangman x you#jake seresin x you#jake seresin drabble#jake seresin blurb#top gun hangman#jake hangman x reader#he’s so gross ew look at him I love him
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No way on earth she’s attracted to this douchebag with an ego that barely fits into that stadium.
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Shoutout to that one panel where Kuboyasu is like “I’ve never looked twice at a woman before.” Like okay, homoie
Also even funnier because he’s like “Don’t give into your urges!!” When he sees Teruhashi. Like, it’s okay dude you think she’s pretty. Even Saiki does. It’s fine bro.
#kuboyasu is very tense around girls because he doesn’t ever interact w them and wants to be a gentleman me thinks#but like also. there is a very big difference between how everyone else thinks ab her (gross. objectifying. ew)#and how he does (kind of sweet-ish. very obviously nervous ab it)#goes hand in hand w the headcanon of ‘kuboyasu is terrified of gorgeous people’#I used to think of him as bi but honestly I’m leaning more toward#gay now I think#he does experience attraction to teruhashi though…might be an asthetic thing with her though#think they could kiss and he’d relatively enjoy it but only in the way someone enjoys physical contact with a close friend#saiki k#fluffy cooks a headcanon
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Previous // Next
Texts:
I don’t like your neighbour.
He’s too nosy.
don’t come here then
Where should we meet instead? Xx
…
[Wyatt rolled his eyes; he’d be perfectly fine if they didn’t meet again. Emica was a boring, high-maintenance woman who was terrible in bed. Still, it was better than nothing.. kind of]
[Before Wyatt could reply, a distant scratching noise distracted him. He sighed heavily, spat in the sink, and headed downstairs]
…
Wyatt: You’re not coming in.
[yowling]
Wyatt: No.. go away.
[more yowling]
[Wyatt tuts, making a u-turn toward the kitchen]
Wyatt: Hey-.. have some patience!
Wyatt: There, happy now?
[The stray cat squints at his dry, tasteless meal.. “happy” was an overstatement. Still, it was better than nothing.. kind of]
Wyatt: Gross creature-.. you can bugger off after you’ve eaten that.
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#wyatt shaw#ᓚᘏᗢ#his fkin hand doing the 'ew' thing as he feeds it skjsdksjd#plz#i see u wyatt.. feeding a kitty#even if u hate it#🤭#we can hate wyatt all we want but at least he isn't mean to animals#calling them gross doesn't count ⚆_⚆
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I think there are a lot of valid criticisms to make of Garrus as a character (and what I like about his writing the most is that you can actually do this in-game), but when people dislike him because "he's a cop!!", it's so funny to me.
Like yeah ACAB and all, don't fall for copaganda, but like ... You can't seriously dislike Garrus because he's a cop when you're literally playing Military Propaganda: The Game. Garrus expicitly joins you because you have even less oversight than he does. You play not only as a high-ranking Alliance soldier, but you become a Spectre, beyond touch by even the Alliance itself. Garrus joins you because he thinks he can get what you have. Because he thinks you will let him get away with shit he didn't get away with before. And yeah, that's off-putting for sure, but think about it for a moment. What does this say about Shepard's position in this, that he can reasonably believe this, and that you can actually agree with him (if Renegade) without consequence? That you can decide that yes, I will indulge this, and the game just lets you do that and makes it a perfeclty valid approach to being a Spectre.
"Oh but my Shepard is moral and would use her powers for good! She's a Paragon! Garrus is bad because he doesn't believe in regulations!"
Hmm, so you're saying that the problem with this power structure is that there are good cops and bad cops? And not that the whole system is fucked from the start? Hmm ... Seems like you've fallen for some sort of ... proper gander ...
My point is, dislike any character you want. It's perfeclty valid to dislike Garrus, because he's bloodthirsty, at times amoral, a vigilante, thinks he's above the law etc, and yes, those are often the traits of a wannabe bad cop, but to dislike him only because "he's a cop!" while other characters, including your own precious Shepard, get a pass?
Bro, you're playing as military in a game that glorifies violence and ignoring politicians and protocol. A running gag is hanging up on your employers because they're silly little politicians who talk too much and want to hold you accountable. You're basically Cop 2.0. Ultracop. The galaxy's cop mommy.
Put things into perspective and get an actual reason to hate the guy. Because if he's a cop, then what are you?
#this isn't me saying you can't dislike him#or that you can't dislike him for being a cop#but when people are like 'ew he's a cop gross!' and then make cutesy headcanons for their sheps#it's like ... bro ...#seems like you're just parroting shit without understanding why they're bad#mass effect#garrus vakarian#basically if you wanna criticize him for being a cop#you need to criticize the whole game for being what it is#you can't just single him out because he's arguably the most popular character#and you're salty that you don't like him#so you just call him a cop and move on#my most hated cop character is uuh . whatshisnuts#captain bailey .. fuck that dude fr
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I flip through Moon Rising sometimes and every single time I see mentions of Kinkajou liking Winter, it makes me think if originally she was supposed to end up with him. Kinda like how Tui wanted Clay and Glory to be together when writing TDP. There's a lot of references to Kinkajou particularly finding Winter pretty and "tortured" and whatnot. Makes me think of what would've happened...
#Also because I HATE TURTLE/KINKAJOU#HE'S AROMANTIC#I don't CARE what Tui says *I'm the correct one here*#I need to let my hater instincts out on this ship sometime because. eugh. god I don't like it#Not just cause I'm a aro Turtle truther but also since it's kinda poorly written and haphazardly thrown into the mix#Ew gross love spells bleck get it out#wof#sp-rambles
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I feel like the Noble Bell Compound is very religious and cult like. It's gotta be rough to be a woman there, like handmaid's tale vibes
Terribly rough. T_T and you are so right. It's extremely cult-like. It's the situation in which the leader (Rollo) comes in to help when all hope seems lost and everyone thinks he's an absolute saint when he builds the compound up with sensibility and sturdier foundations and walls, as well as fostering such crooked ideals. A lot of people within the compound look up to him, treat him like he's some savior or a prophet, and Rollo always seems to know best. His two righthand men are so blindly faithful to him, and Rollo appears so kind and fair with everyone, including those within his close-knit circle. He's just so forgiving, so sweet. How could anyone distrust him? How could he lead anyone astray?
The entire compound feels like a utopia amidst so much dystopia, but the people who reside within don't see what lies beneath the compound in underground dungeons, where misbehaving nuisances are kept and silenced. Anyone who tries to question things, who tries to speak out against the little paradise Rollo has manufactured so dearly, so carefully, so graciously, conveniently vanishes to who-knows-where. No one questions anything because Rollo always has a perfect lie at the ready to keep the masses calm and collected.
Being a woman in the compound is not fun. At all. :( you're treated warmly (at first) just so you'll be tricked into a false sense of security, so you'll be more likely to accept the conditions in which you will be kept (and used). But the longer you spend amidst so many other brides, the clearer it becomes that you are not in equal standing with the others in this compound and Rollo certainly doesn't seem to think you are anything more than livestock meant for reproduction. However terrible his views are, Rollo still ensures the women are given adequate protection and care. After all, he isn't a monster (so he claims). You'll live comfortably (not as comfortably as those who are more privileged, but it's better than nothing), and you're given healthy meals each morning, afternoon, and night. You live like anyone else would, but there are a few rules that permit only to you.
For one, every woman within the compound must remain a virgin. If you don't bleed or feel any pain/discomfort the first time your husband takes you, you're seen as impure, a liar, a filthy slut. And when you're labeled as such, you're treated as such. Rollo conducts pussy inspections to make sure everyone is healthy and oh-so-pure (how he gleans that from running his gloved fingers along your folds or even forcing two inside your tight warmth just to see you squirm, you have no idea. He always spends extra time examining you; the brides gossip over this, eagerly insisting with hushed whispers that the compound leader fancies you. You shudder to think someone like Rollo would ever have his eye on you.)
Additionally, every bride must always wear white. It's a soft color, the symbolism of purity. You're meant to be demure and obedient things, subservient to the men who will choose from the lot of you as if you're nothing more than candy in a jar, eaten as easily as you are discarded. Every morning, it is mandatory that the brides stand before the compound leader and, in unison, list their vows, all of which have been stamped into your memory like a bad tattoo. Every morning, you promise you are pure, insist that your only hopes and dreams are to provide for the compound, to be good mothers, to be good brides, to remain untouched by sin, to remember these vows and hold them close to your heart. Essentially, by participating in this daily routine, you strip away parts of yourself and replace them with the parts the compound wants you to have, and by verbalizing them so often you'll begin to believe them, especially when everyone around you shares the same opinions and feelings on the matter. It is the finest form of brainwashing. And to make matters worse, to cement these ideals that have been practically engraved into you, Rollo always applauds the lot of you, smiles with so much satisfaction, praises everyone for such pleasant mindsets.
Every month his voice seems less like the harshest, grating static and more like a heavenly choir because, for all you've endured and will continue to endure, he is still the only beacon of light in this dark, dismal world.
#twisted chit chat#twst apocalypse au#yandere twst#n/sfw#tw: misogyny#he is so gross!! so vile ew!!!!! >_<#but i would comply so quickly if he wanted to inspect me#anything for you mr. compound leader <3 <3#i would say any other compound is better than noble bell#but when your compound is run by a man with the biggest breeding kink (*ahem* azul malleus kalim *ahem*)#there is no such thing as a 'better safer compound'#actually to correct myself when your compound is run by MEN there is no better safer compound lol ;;;;
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this world needs a cure, i know it’s you
#mklnet#nctinc#nct#mark lee#melontrack#useroro#aleksbestie#userbeepls#mark#vstuff#ew gross caption who wrote that#i didnt mean to gif this but he looks like that
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Hello! I was wondering what you'd think the octo-agents would do if you got sick. Blorbo thoughts go burr
Natquik my beloved. He has at least 20+ years of Polar Scout first aid knowledge, and roughly 30 years of "pure adrenaline/spite-fueled survival in Antarctica" instincts; so you're either gonna get a nasal strip and a raw ginger root to chew on... or a surprise shove into an ice bath, followed by a cup of hot cocoa. You don't get to pick which one.
Pirates have their own unique "medical practices," if you can dare to call them that. So... Calico Jack WILL cure you of whatever's ailing ye, but you're in for one HELL of a ride. Have fun! :D
Tracker has over 20 years of Polar Scout first aid knowledge, so he's basically Natquik but without the 50/50 chance of being forcibly thrown into Arctic waters when you least expect it. He will make it his temporary life purpose to make you feel better. He will not sleep, eat, drink, or work until you are Fixed™. He will make himself sick in the process, this is inevitable.
Ranger Marsh has father instincts + who knows how many years of experience taking care of the Everglades critters when they're hurt or sick, so he's basically a certified medic. He might LITERALLY be certified. Either way, he's also kinda like Natquik in the sense that he definitely has a normal first aid kit/medicine cabinet,, but he's going to force you to take weird swamp cures anyway.
Pearl has mother instincts but they're still relatively new, so she might treat you like a baby with a fever: tell you to take a lukewarm bath, make sure you get snuggled up in a cozy bed to rest, and watch you like a hawk while you guzzle down 7346389 liters of fluids.
Paani will straight up sit there and stare at you. You can't tell me this guy takes care of himself properly when he feels sick, so he has no clue how to help you. Realistically he'd pass you on to someone else, but let's say he doesn't do that—instead I can see him trying to tell you that you can "speed up" getting better by going out and getting dirty, running around, eating spicy food, etc., and at the end of the day you'll either end up actually feeling a lot better, or 1000x worse–
Ryla is actually the same. She's gonna drag you out into some random cave whether you want to go or not, and tell you to eat those weird-smelling berries she found because they're "good for your immune system." Unlike with Paani though I feel like somehow this would 100% work. It's basic cave diving stuff, page 574 of her book, don't question it.
Min is the only normal person. She'll make you some tea, insist you take a nap, and tell the Octonauts to make sure that you really do (instead of saying you will, but then "forgetting"). She doesn't want to get herself sick, so you can expect most of her check-ins to be through video calls. She won't seem very worried about you, but that's only because she knows you're tough enough to get through this.
#octonauts#octonauts headcanons#ask#yippee finally answering an ask lol#got stuck on ryla and min#i LOVE min w my entire soul but i had no thoughts head empty for her for some reason </3#and ryla's just. i struggle w ryla hcs so much in general lmao i'm like “uhhhhh??? i dunno somethin abt caves—”#i was tempted to do selva but i think i'll wait till s3 comes out in english before selvaposting#octonauts above and beyond#pinto would look at you and go “ew gross” and run away so he doesn't catch what you have#and koshi would probly make you a get well soon card. then also run away.#this ask is OLD so sorry anon lmao#i have zero awareness of the passage of time
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the fact that neither el nor mike were romantically interested in each other in s1 and only began to consider romance after other people suggested it... it's been bones from the very beginning
#and i'm correct btw#el didn't think of mike romantically until he kissed her. she literally thought he'd be like her brother#mike didn't think of el romantically until lucas and nancy suggested it. he responded to lucas with ''what are you talking about?'' and to#nancy with ''ew gross!''... he fell victim to the dangers of heteronormativity unfortunately :/#byler#<- you get it i'm sure#mike wheeler#el hopper#milkvan#sarah.txt#s1
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ok concept: modern!steve fucking you so good then immediately after opens the nyt app to play connections
#once again !he is so bad at it!#he likes when you help him and he likes watching you think through them#bonus points if he literally fucks u within an inch of ur life-#and then casually cums all over ur stomach then IMMEDIATELY flips over onto his phone#but not in a ‘ew gross’ kind of way but in a ‘he has no idea how good at sex he is’ kind of way ultimate#casual sex god ⁉️
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I'm sorry but all the bitches who come at me for not liking Azriel just make me more determined to hate him.
I didn't even hate him as much as Rhysand and Cassian but seeing all the weird love he gets for absolutely no reason has made me even more determined to despise him.
Also it's weird to me that he gets so absolved of all anti-IC blame? Say what you want but he's part of the establishment too.
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The One jing yuan fan who doesn’t like the Hoyofair’s recent pics is…… me.
#he does not look like Him#one’s an eboy (EW)#and the other is some evil scientist from old Cartoon Network#the long coat and long gloves? ew#I HATE HOW NOT INTO HIM I AM BOTH OF THE PICS ARE GROSS#that’s not my bbg#sorry not sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!#rambles#jing yuan
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btw the reason Mike "repression" Wheeler is so mean to Steve specifically is because he's actually got a big fat embarrassing crush on him.
#steve: i just cant get over nancy#mike (heartbroken): ew gross kys#mike and eddie can be miserable together about crushing on a fucking jock#stranger things#steve harrington#mike wheeler#as far as my aro ass understands it is possible to have romance feelings for more than one person at once#and there is a difference between being in love and having a crush#its good mike wasnt in hawkins in s4 bc if hed been there during the steve hairy chest conversation he wouldve died of blood loss#(anime nosebleed)#steve stranger things#mike stranger things
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