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flanpucci · 1 month

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Hello and welcome to my TED talk today I have decided to write a wall of text about why portraying Dio and Pucci’s relationship as manipulation is actually taking a lot out of Pucci’s agency and character, and diminishing him. Disclaimer that this is not shipping discourse, this is media analysis. I don’t want to talk about whether it is moral or not that they get along, I don’t care, I only want to comment on the media.

So someone sent me a DM telling me that Dio was manipulating an emotionally distraught and vulnerable Pucci into following his plan, and that he exploited him to do all sorts of crimes (framing Jolyne, killing people, stealing discs) by presenting himself as a trustworthy, God-like figure, and called the Heaven plan ‘Heaven’ to get Pucci to follow it by exploiting his religious beliefs.

First of all Dio met Pucci before he was distraught about his sister's situation. After the situation occurred, it is Pucci who seeked him for answers as to why he was alive and not his sibling/s, like he seeked answers from God a few years before by becoming a priest student. Dio left a door open, nothing more. Of course Dio was seeking to be admired, he was also seeking companionship as he has always done ever since he was young, and someone to carry his plan. Pucci was looking for answers, for self-growth, for someone to push him towards the top, towards what he believes is the destiny that was designed for him (the reason he’s alive and not his twin).

Is it forbidden to look for something in someone? Does it make it not genuine? No, we all look for something in a friendship. And this seemed like a fair deal for both. One needs a trusted friend, an ally, but not a blind follower, and as we’ll see later, he needs someone to help him transcend his human? vampire? condition again. The other one needs a reason to live, a quest to fulfill, and hope that he could one day obtain the ‘happiness’ and ‘peace of mind’ that Dio wants so much too. He’s also someone who strives for greatness, who wants to ‘step outside human boundaries’.

Not forgetting that Pucci is someone fueled by a profound curiosity and rationality, it is only natural that he’d side with someone who has the abilities and ambition Dio has. Framing Jolyne, killing people, stealing discs, it is all out of Pucci's agency, long after the death of Dio. He's actually the one who suggested he could store and use Survivor, and he’s the one who asked for it! Dio thought Survivor was useless, that it was only a weakness, and Pucci convinced him with the idea that it could be prove itself useful.

Pucci is shown to have ‘lost’ faith in Christianity very early on, maybe not really having true religious belief at all (as in, the actually believing there’s a God sense.) He got into priesthood for philosophical reasons (seeking answers to an existential question). He seems to be a very pragmatic christian with interests in science that contradicts some of the scripture’s theories.

I don't think calling the plan ‘Heaven’ was a bait based on Pucci's religious beliefs. Over Heaven isn't canon, but it shows Dio having a very Christian mother. He's an intelligent man, born in a very christian time and place, and thought ‘Heaven’ was the name of the kingdom promised to the legitimate ruler of the world, himself. If anything the first time they meet he makes it very clear they're not striving for anything Bible related but for realizing their full potential and finding happiness.

Dio saw very early on that Pucci was not a very faithful catholic, judging by the book he's reading when they meet in the ossuary, and then Pucci commiting crimes even before seeing Dio again (hiring someone to beat up his brother, leaving his brother as dead). He then commits blasphemy by calling him King of Kings and comparing his love to the one he has for God. Pucci does not think of Dio as God, he loves him as he loves God, but he's not blind and mistaken. He refers to him with proximity terms all throughout the manga (even when he's young), never used honorifics like the hunchmen do, calls him 'kimi' (casual/informal ‘you’), 'my close friend'.

Even Dio uses ‘kimi’ instead of the ‘omae’ that shows inferiority that he uses with Vanilla for example. All throughout their scenes Dio is shown slightly seductive at first, then not as overtly seducing as he usually is, he’s talking about the plan, and strategy (even though he still maintains physical contact, I mean, it’s still Dio), and then seems to relax progressively by doing activities and chit-chatting, to the point of becoming paranoid that his weaknesses is known. Yes, Dio was pretty nice and not as big an asshole as usual because he needed someone for the plan, but what did he need? A "friend that he can trust from the bottom of his heart" (信頼できる友), so he tried to make one by not being an asshole, and guess what? He did! And he got scared that he managed to do so, because it's freaking Dio lol. Dio’s life has only been him trying to show dominance, and facing rejection. Heck he was rejected and degraded even when he won that chess game against an adult in the first minutes of the show. But everyone wants friends for a reason! Be it not to be alone, to be loved, to have someone to talk to about certain topics... And we all make efforts and try to be nice to make friends. That's not manipulation that's called not being a dysfunctional piece of shit like Dio usually was shown to be before he met Pucci. Why was he different with Pucci? I'm bringing up the parallel with the Jonadio scene which really show that Dio hasn't changed and is acting the way he always has, testing people, he just has never been met with trust and acceptance, only with rejection, unlike what Pucci has done from their first meeting and after :

Scene plays out very similarly at first, except that this time Dio who hasn’t done anything wrong, but he was expecting to be betrayed and wasn’t, which led him to get paranoid and set up Pucci so that he’d attack him, which he didn’t. And what did Dio do? Apologize and give him a part of what's literally the most important thing he has, 'his' body.

The fact that Pucci kept his 'sentimentality' towards his friend (I quote), his obsessive affection for Dio, and hope in his plan for such a long time is easily understandable, he had everything to win from Dio's plan (which is very different from nothing to lose, he has quite a lot to lose!). He could be cleansed from his sin, or at least put everyone on his level, be granted the reward of unconditional love, he could grow to a close to godly status or be a messiah carrying god's will (be special, push the boundaries of being human), and maybe, just maybe revive his loved ones too! He could rewrite his destiny at best, and at worst, obtain peace of mind. If anything helping Dio might even have been an excuse for Pucci to lie to himself about his real intentions with this plan (unconsciously : finally accomplishing his destiny of being special over his sibling and basically everyone else, consciously : giving everyone the chance to prepare for tragedy + opening everyone's eyes to the fact that what he did, cause his sister's death, was not really his fault since it was written by fate all along.)

Now if you really have a high esteem of Dio's intelligence you can argue that he did it all on purpose, he gave out his weakness on purpose to mellow Pucci, he called the plan Heaven to cater to Pucci's faith, he talked him into doing crimes, pretended to feel equal/inferior so that Pucci would give him his trust... But 1) Dio's not that good at it, has too big trust issues himself and has other means for submitting people to his will (as seen with Kakyoin, Polna...), 2) it's literally written this has to be built on trust which in my opinion completely disqualifies a manipulation aspect to it. Of course there are many other sources that further the idea that they were really friends, I'm thinking about how their relationship is described in interviews or the Jojo Mag, but I wanted this post to focus on canon interpretation.

Thank you for reading my essay, I’m always happy to chat and comment on the dynamics between characters in the material. I am not willing to talk about morality or shipping discourse here so please refrain from sending me such comments.

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #pucci #enrico pucci #dio #dio brando #stone ocean #analysis

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bonefall · 2 months

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.. opinions on wind runner? i feel like im one of the only ones that genuinely hates her sometimes

If you feel like the only one who genuinely hates her, I think you need to look around more. Wind Runner is a very widely disliked character, because she's often used within the story as a small antagonist who "threatens" the authority of Tall Shadow. Gray Wing dislikes her. Thunder is openly cat-racist to her. She spends several books trying to break through the moor cats' xenophobia to join a group that came to HER LAND.

Then, when Moth Flight is old enough to be a relevant character in Forest Divided, Wind Runner is turned into Yet Another mean mom the very moment Moth displays ADHD. She's contrasted to her mate Gorse Fur, who is a Soft And Good Dad, and ultimately MASSIVELY punished with the harrowing events of Moth Flight's Vision (even though, for most of that book, she's completely right.)

Ask yourself why they're especially harsh on WIND RUNNER for being mean to her child, in the arc with Tom the Fucking Wifebeater and his redemption death, plus Thunder being forced to stop being mad at his abuser Clear Sky, please.

To me, Wind Runner is an intense, ambitious woman who's demonized for it in a way that men just aren't. She's subject to several misogynistic trends within WC, plus a huge helping of xenophobia that goes absolutely unexamined. If DOTC cared at all about women, it would have treated her with the nuance she deserves.

Wind Runner is treated with nearly endless suspicion by Gray Wing through books 1 - 3, while he's bending over backwards to suck Clear Sky's toes.

Her wanting to join the group that came TO HER HOME and being a bit pushy about it earns a stronger reaction from Gray Wing than Clear Sky murdering people.

She's pressured into changing her name "to fit in," and it's still not enough. She wanted to join the group so bad she changed her name, at the request of the Mountain Cats, for a chance of being better accepted

This came after she'd already saved Jagged Peak's life when a burrow collapsed on him. She's plenty trustworthy.

She keeps doing shit to try and prove herself to this group of assholes. Remember Bumble being dragged back to her domestic abuser? Gray Wing interprets this as a power struggle, when WIND RUNNER WAS NOT EVEN PART OF THE GROUP AT THE TIME.

From Wind Runner's POV, she did something that the Moor cats wanted done. It was fucking evil. It was committing violence against another member of the out-group the cats see her as.

But who actually has the power here? Tall Shadow does.

Gray Wing said it himself that she could have come up with some excuse for Bumble to stay, and she didn't. In fact, any cat could have spoken up. No one did.

and still. STILL. Wind Runner gets nothing. Her reward is Gray Wing surmising that actually, her doing their sick dirtywork was a political move.

It's more consistent as a motivation with how Wind Runner wants to join their group. The thing she's been doing.

She only actually gets to join the group after Thunder starts publicly hurling slurs at her for suggesting they need to be ready for Clear Sky to attack them. "What do you know about peace? Last time I was here you were NOTHING BUT A ROGUE WITH A ROGUE'S NAME"

Gray Wing even starts purring when she gives birth, because her ambition goes away briefly and she "stops bossing everyone around." this is treated like a sweet thing. god forbid women retain their personalities when they have kids

She loses her first premature child to a seizure and Gray Wing starts proselytizing his religion to her. "Maybe it's a good thing your weakest child died because Jesus has them now" I want to beat him with a hammer

When her second child gets sick, Clear Sky has a bright idea that involves killing it. I refer to this as his "reverse leper colony" suggestion. He only develops a sense of humanity towards the sick when his brother's pregnant wife is in danger. Wind Runner and her kitten barely seem to clock as people to him.

It's only after her SECOND baby succumbs to a horrible, painful death that she decides the moor cats are assholes, and she goes to start her own group. It's LONG overdue. I was extremely excited to see it.

Now. Listen.

I've been treated just like Moth Flight before. I've practically heard the scolding in Book 6 Chapter 3 verbatim. I'm not downplaying anything about Wind Runner being harsh to her; being yelled at like that never fixed the problem.

What I'm saying is that this is the SAME arc that summons the hollowed-out ghost of Storm to coo that Clear Sky "never drove anyone away" with his abusive behavior and gives Tom the Wifebeater a heroic redemption death.

So why is the scolding from Wind Runner treated as unambiguously harsh? What's the difference between her and them?

Why is it that outside of this little bubble of the community, you can get buried in a flood of people crying about how "Clear Sky made Summisteaks Butt he thought it was the right thing :((( He feels bad about shoving Thunder's face in a weeping, pus-filled wound and trying to kill him :((((" but Wind Runner is mean about Moth Flight not catching a rabbit and she should be skinned alive

Why is WIND RUNNER held responsible for the death of Clear Sky's child in Moth Flight's Vision, WHEN IT WAS COMPLETELY HIS OWN FAULT??

So, why should I hate her? Because she's mean to the idiot protagonists? Because she's Yet Another Bad Mom whose actions ARE treated as Bad in the story, in the arc famous for openly weeping whenever someone's mad at their abusive dad?? When she has this whole horrific, unexamined story about how incredibly bigoted The Settlers are towards her and the extremes she goes to in order to please them?

I'm glad she's mean, actually. She should have been even meaner. I think she should have a gun

#so anon I am very sorry #Uou are going to the Shadow Realm #I am the patron saint of every woman in wc #but especially the ones in dotc #because that arc does them so fucking dirty #Wind Runner can be as mean as she wants I support her #The Settlers deserve it actually #Wind Runner #Windstar #Warrior Cats Analysis #also again everything wind runner has ever done that was mean was done worse by clear sky #but clear gets off with a slap on the wrist. IF that.#while Wind Runner gets her leg sickeningly snapped on screen as several paragraphs detail her growing fever and horrible agony #before the magic of JesusClan heals her and bestows her lives upon her #Guys getting hurt in WC: ''owie''#Girls getting hurt in WC: (you can hear the writer breathing heavily through the 6 paragraphs of prose they use to describe her injury)#..........also. to put into perspective just how fucking bad the misogyny in this arc is;#there are only 4 female characters in Book 1 who survive to the end of Book 6. Besides some cameo cats who exist in the tribe #Wind Runner is one of them. The other three are Settlers.#I won't even say their names lol. Can you even remember who all three of the other ones are #warrior cats analysis

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ntaras · 7 months

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Bi-Han Analysis

Though the primary focus of this analysis is Bi-Han, I also do analyze Kuai Liang a bit. This analysis is also mostly for me to put my general thoughts together, so the formatting is a bit hard to read and messy.

This analysis is not written with the datamined dlc story in mind, so for the love of god do not bring that up if you want to respond to this post. I also hate the way the brothers and the Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion rivalry was presented, but I’m writing this analysis with an attempt at avoiding placing criticism in the center (because I do have a lot of criticism that does conflict with this analysis.)

Also, this is not meant to prove Bi-Han as “not evil”, because no, he isn’t, but he’s still an antagonist who’s making very bad choices. Also I talk about my own speculation regarding Bi-Han’s relationship with his father, and I want to make clear that I’m not trying to paint their father in a bad light because he is not canonically presented as abusive or evil. It comes off like that, but that’s not my intention. I’m too lazy to rewrite that portion of the analysis so this is just a heads up.

Bi-Han is a walking self-sabotaging tragedy, and with Kuai Liang as Scorpion, they were doomed from the start for their relationship to shatter. You have the eldest brother: Sub-Zero, who feels forced into submission and forced to conceal his “true worth”. You have the younger brother: Scorpion, who watches his older brother be consumed by his desperation to be something, and stands unsure of how to help him.

Bi-Han’s desire for power is the highlight of his character. His and the Lin Kuei’s role as Earthrealm’s defenders isn’t something that satisfies him- it isn’t something that shows his worth. He thinks he’s worth more than simply hiding in the shadows, waiting, and waiting for threats to emerge. Defending Earthrealm brings him no value, but perhaps taking part in ruling it would give him value (Sub-Zero: “You wield the power I aspire to be” Sindel: “Too bad you’re unfit for it, Sub-Zero.”) He wants to bring the Lin Kuei to the light, show that his clan is deserving of power. (From his bio: “Under his leadership, the Lin Kuei will come out of the shadows and fight for its place as one of Earthrealm’s great nations.”)

I’m really emphasizing the word “shadow”. It’s an obvious reference to Noob Saibot, and it seems like the story is going for the route that Bi-Han is already someone in the dark, yet he doesn’t view himself to be in the dark. (Scorpion: “A shadow’s fallen on your soul.” Sub-Zero: “No, brother. I’ve seen the light.”) As the darkness envelops Bi-Han, he can only see that darkness as the light.

Bi-Han refuses to see himself in the wrong, and even says his ambition is confused for evil. (Ashrah: “There are many in the Netherrealm just like you.” Sub-Zero: “You conflate ambition with evil, Ashrah.”) That dialogue also implies that Bi-Han does not believe he will end up in the Netherrealm for his actions, because he doesn’t view himself or his actions as “evil”. Everything he’s done has been for the better- has been for the good of the Lin Kuei.

I wondered why Bi-Han was so loyal to the Lin Kuei in this timeline, as in previous timelines Bi-Han’s loyalty to his clan was because he was kidnapped by that clan, and conditioned to be their warrior (but still agreed to help Raiden and save Earthrealm.) So why is Bi-Han so loyal to the Lin Kuei in this timeline?

This is more speculation than an analysis I can support with hard evidence, but if you’re asking what I personally think, I’d like the case to be that there was something deeper going on. That somehow, his father put so much pressure on Bi-Han (not intentional pressure) as the future Grandmaster and a protector of Earthrealm, Bi-Han ending up warping that role as “protector of Earthrealm” into his own desire for the Lin Kuei to show all their true ability is to not defend Earthrealm- but govern Earthrealm. Why must their efforts go unrecognized if their role is so important? Also this plays into his role as the first born son, the eldest child who ends up being the one responsible for their younger siblings. As the eldest, he knows what is best for his siblings. As Grandmaster, he knows what is best for the Lin Kuei.

All the dialogue regarding their father paints him in a good light- even dialogue from Bi-Han. Bi-Han never once accuses his father as being abusive in some manner, but only as weak and lacking vision. So, there is no denying that he was a good man, but he’s still a man of mistakes, such as being the man indirectly responsible for the murder of Tomas’s family. The fact that that murder happened in the first place does raise a lot of questions about the inner workings of the Lin Kuei and how their father led the Lin Kuei.

It does feel like their father’s death is still not fully revealed. His death is only referred to as an “accident” and not delved into further besides Bi-Han allowing him to die. (Scorpion: “I want to see the moment my father died.” Geras: “You are not ready to receive that knowledge.”) That could mean that there is more to his death, Kuai Liang isn’t ready to see that moment because he’d get all raged up, or it could mean nothing because that’s how a lot of dialogue is.

The way their father led the Lin Kuei- and how the Lin Kuei has always been in this new era, was by teaching them to be submissive (to follow rather than lead.) And in Bi-Han’s eyes: weak.

The fact that Bi-Han didn’t kill his father, but instead let him die, is fascinating. We can also compare that act, to how Bi-Han is submissive to Liu Kang until he’s away from Liu Kang and listens to Shang Tsung. ALSO, it’s interesting how Bi-Han doesn’t listen to Shang Tsung’s offer until he is in chains. Even if he let his father die, Bi-Han still was loyal to Liu Kang nor did he change the Lin Kuei in any way (we also do not know how recently their father died, so he may have not even had the time yet to drastically change the Lin Kuei on his own, but I think that’s besides the point). He aches for the right moment to “step up”- to separate himself from what he believes binds him.

We see Liu Kang keep Bi-Han from being “too antagonistic”. After Liu Kang calls Bi-Han and Kuai Liang over in chapter 1, we see Bi-Han get hostile towards Kung Lao and try to advance towards him, but is stopped by Liu Kang. He glances at Liu Kang, wanting to bark back, but keeps quiet. In chapter 2, Liu Kang looks at Bi-Han when he yells “enough!” and Bi-Han quickly bows in apology.

He keeps that loyalty to Liu Kang, until he is physically in chains, until he is physically shackled. He does not want to be prisoner to that loyalty of submission anymore.

His submission to his father’s ruling of the Lin Kuei and Liu Kang’s Godhood is something he doesn’t want, because he feels like he is worth more than submission. He doesn’t want to be treated “so lowly".” He wants recognition for his skills- he’s eager to show himself off and prove that yes, he is a warrior.

If Liu Kang had chosen Bi-Han to be champion, then mayhaps this desire for power and self-sabotage Bi-Han participates in would have been avoided. However, it’s understandable why Liu Kang didn’t choose Bi-Han to be champion despite clearly having the talent to be one: Bi-Han always dies at a tournament. He didn’t want to risk Bi-Han’s death, and then the resurrection of Noob Saibot (or a falling out between Kuai Liang- Scorpion- and Bi-Han that resulted in Kuai Liang killing Bi-Han). But, it seems Bi-Han set himself down that dark path anyways.

Now, onto Kuai Liang and a brief look into the relationship between the three brothers.

The story fails at showing us that the three brothers do care about each other, but it’s just barely there.

In Kuai Liang’s bio, it states two things: “...though he took pride in knowing that his brother, Sub-Zero, would succeed their father as the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster.” and “...he fears that may one day have to battle his brother for control of the Lin Kuei’s legacy.” He views Bi-Han as Grandmaster with pride, and is scared of having to fight him- scared of choosing duty over his brother.

Kuai Liang verbally tells Bi-Han multiple times to “watch himself”- reminding Bi-Han of his duty (honoring their father) and questioning Bi-Han’s roughness with Johnny Cage. You do see Kuai Liang keeping an eye out on Bi-Han (as he states later in the game, he was aware of Bi-Han’s frustrations). Kuai Liang doesn’t even mind Bi-Han’s ambitions, as evident in the scene where they enter the treasure chamber. “There will be spoils in this war,” says Bi-Han as Kuai Liang does not chastise him for wanting those “spoils”, but responds with “let us win it first, brother.”

If I’m being honest, I don’t even think Bi-Han was referring to the actual treasure as “spoils”, but rather the glory that treasure holds. Bi-Han doesn’t really have a desire for treasure, especially a bunch of coins, so I couldn’t really view him as having an actual desire for some coins and gems. And I think Kuai Liang’s response was him answering Bi-Han’s hidden desires- that Bi-Han can achieve his desire to “shine” after they finish their job. For Bi-Han to achieve his ambitions, he must earn it first.

Up until the reveal of Bi-Han letting their father die, Kuai Liang is incredibly patient with Bi-Han.

Regarding Tomas and Bi-Han’s relationship: Bi-Han doesn’t hate Tomas! Their relationship is complex with Tomas being the youngest brother and being adopted into the family, but it’s not wrong to say Bi-Han does care about him (as clearly evident by the “You are both unharmed?” comment).

I really do think Bi-Han being the eldest sibling is important to his character. It’s a role that brings him frustration as he cannot get his younger siblings to listen to him (them “abandoning” him and the LIn Kuei), and loses control over them. His anger is harsh towards Tomas, as is “what he gets” for being the younger brother, yet Tomas still cares for Bi-Han despite Bi-Han stating Tomas is not Lin Kuei.

Bi-Han, in all his cruelness and frustration, cares about his brothers. And they care about Bi-Han. It’s evident in the fact that the brothers are so adamant on being the ones to kill/capture the other, not allowing anyone else “the privilege”. They are deeply hurt by the others' betrayal, and any hatred that comes from them is out of a broken heart.

Kuai Liang did try to kill Bi-Han. After Bi-Han reveals that he allowed their father to die, Kuai Liang loses it, and knocks Bi-Han down, and you see him raise his chains ready to kill Bi-Han. Kuai Liang would have regretted it. He was in a moment of seering, blind rage, allowing his emotions to fully take over him. You know he would have regretted it, because in their confrontation outside the temple, Kuai Liang doesn’t kill Bi-Han. And if I’m being honest, I don’t even think that Kuai Liang knew he almost killed Bi-Han.

“You are my Grandmaster no longer.” Not, “you are my brother no longer.” Kuai Liang disowns Bi-Han as his leader, but not as his brother. Even if Bi-Han shed his own brother’s blood, Kuai Liang cannot truly renounce his own blood. It’s their bond and their curse as brothers- as Sub-Zero and Scorpion: they are forever connected by rivalry and siblinghood.

Their love is deep, but their hatred is even deeper. But is it not the same when it comes to siblings? Is that cruelty not the same as a loving embrace?

#mortal kombat #sub-zero #bi-han #kuai liang #i have more to say but i’ve been holding this off for a week #so you get general thoughts on bi-han #also i was going to add my criticism about the writing and how they wrote the brothers and their story but that’s a whole other can of worms

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yunhohours · 10 months

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CIX: Top 5 Kinks

request: could i request cix kinks? 🤪

p.s. the kinks are not necessarily in order

p.p.s. can we get a round of applause for me for not giving every cix member a pet play kink thank u

byounggon

overstimulation (receiving) - he will whine the entire time but he wants you to keep touching him until he’s shaking and crying. he needs that fairly regularly. bonus points because he gets the best sleep of his life afterwards.

praise - this one goes both ways. he needs to know he’s doing a good job and he’s gonna tell you how good of a job you’re doing even if it’s barely intelligible and peppered with breathy moans! he gets so kittenlike under your praise it’s so cute </3

somnophilia - loves to be woken up inside you whether it’s your mouth or your cunt. he’s so sensitive it feels so good!! :( he won’t be the one to wake you or do any of the work for that matter, but he will be the best and prettiest pillow prince for you.

face sitting - smother him. he’ll let you. he’ll ask for it. his eyes are rolling into the back of his head even though his eyes are closed because my god, he must be the luckiest person in the world to have his tongue deep inside you while you hold onto his hair for dear life. lovessss how messy he gets.

handjobs - there’s just something special about a good ol’ handjob for gon. it’s like all the times he fucked his own fist and tried to imagine your hand instead except now it’s real. he also likes how easily you can give him one. one slip of your hand down his boxers and it’s game on.

seunghun

mutual masturbation - seunghun is no stranger to his own fist. they’re best friends. so, naturally, he loves to get himself off while watching you pleasure yourself for his view. it’s the prettiest thing he can imagine. he loves to instruct you on how to touch yourself for him. his ego loves when you listen.

dumbification - ohhh my god when you’re head empty only seunghun? his life goal. he gets so fucking cocky and can’t wipe the smirk off of his face when your words start failing you because he’s making you feel so good and he just has to rub it in. aww, can’t talk to me? no lights on in that little head anymore?

marking - seunghun is possessive. we all know that. does not want you to look at another man, does not want another man to look at you. but if other men must look at you, he’d like to leave behind some reminders on your skin that you’re his. and he likes to wear yours too. bonus points because every time he sees them, he’s reminded of exactly how they were made.

filming - similarly to what i mentioned with mutual masturbation, seunghun likes to be your director. he’ll film you, telling you to do this and pose like that for the camera. he likes making a creative little memory of your time between the sheets together. he will make you watch them with him whenever the urge strikes.

make up sex - seunghun likes to prove himself. there’s no better time to do that than when he’s got some ground to make up with you. sex after a fight ignites a special kind of ambition within him that he can’t quite channel otherwise. it’s always the most spectacular sex that feels more like a wet dream because irl sex has never been that good. ever.

yonghee

edging - yonghee is so mean in the sweetest way possible. he will coo at you and lay the thickest fake pity on you while he keeps bringing you just to the brink of orgasm, letting it die, and then starting again. he’ll be disgustingly sweet about it at the same time, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face and telling you how pretty you look for him and how well you’re doing.

phone sex - yonghee enjoys making you squirm and the fact that he can accomplish that just with his voice is… <3 he doesn’t usually engage in it planning to find his own pleasure, but sometimes he can’t help himself when he hears how breathy your voice gets or your little whines on the other end of the phone.

pet play - oh, you are yonghee’s kitten. he will not be shy to fully indulge. you’ll have kitten ears, a collar, a tail. he’ll scratch your head and call you to his lap. when he senses that you’re needy, he’ll refer to it as purring. what’s that? are you purring for me, kitten?

thigh riding - yonghee wants to take care of you okay :( sometimes it may not be the most feasible to take your clothes off or do anything that requires too much time or effort. in those times, he’ll help you get off on his thigh to hold you over. he won’t even be mean about it. he’ll guide you with his hands so you don’t have to do anything but feel good for him. he also very much loves watching how you only need his thigh to fall apart so he will still sometimes do this even if you have plenty ability to do more

finger sucking/fucking - just consider this the category for all things involving yonghee’s fingers. he loves to finger you because he can usually do so any time anywhere and just watch your face morph from the pleasure he’s giving you. he likes how obediently you suck on his fingers and he’ll sometimes stop you from talking/disagreeing with him by filling your mouth with a finger. shh shh shh, open.

jinyoung

oral sex (giving) - jinyoung loves going down on you because he can get lost in it. he easily learns how you react to even the most minor stimulation and he gets a bit competitive with himself about it. sometimes he wants to make you cum faster than last time, sometimes he wants to see if he can make you louder this time.

cockwarming - he wouldn’t like this idea initially upon learning about it, but when he thinks about how he can use it to drive you crazy… he loves it. he has a surprising amount of patience so he’ll sit you on his cock and wait for you to start squirming and begging him for more. then he’ll act like you’re just so incredibly needy, tsking at you as he gives you what you both want.

hair pulling (receiving) - he’d probably never be able to put into words why he loves it when you pull his hair, but he does. to the point that when you pull his hair, his eyes will sometimes roll into the back of his head. he has to recenter himself every time because it’s like he gets pulled out of his own body.

morning sex - jinyoung can get in his own head more often than he’d like and sometimes that can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on sex for him. morning sex is good for him because he’s usually still too foggy to overthink. he’s able to operate instinctively and starting the day with good sex will leave him in a more positive headspace for the rest of the day.

restraints (receiving) - similarly to the last one, being restrained forces jinyoung to let go. if he can’t see or touch you, he can’t place much pressure on himself. additionally, he gets very excited and sensitive to even the smallest of touches when you’re calling all the shots. give him head while he’s cuffed and blindfolded and you’ll never be able to think about anything else.

hyunsuk

quickies - hyunsuk loves quickies for a few reasons: 1) he usually gets to fuck the soul out of you for the sake of time and 2) they sometimes happen in places you two should probably not be fucking in the first place.

creampie - letting hyunsuk cum inside you is like telling him he won the lottery. he will never get used to the feeling of releasing inside you and then watching himself drip from you when he pulls out. his eyes will be transfixed on the sight.

choking - choking or being choked—hyunsuk likes both. he would neeever suggest or attempt to choke you on his own, but if he knew it was something you liked, he’d try it and find that he likes it too. but choke him back. you’ll be able to tell by his eyes and the surprised moan that he loves it.

jealous sex - this one has stipulations but if everything comes together just right, hyunsuk fucking loves jealous sex. for one, the jealousy has to be resolved. if he feels like you’re still making him insecure, this won’t happen. he needs to know there is no actual threat or problem. second, he will not admit that he likes this. but boooooy does he give you the fuck of your life every time! it’s very similar to seunghun and make up sex.

dirty talk - listen, he’d be so shy about this at first. he would not feel confident at all talking dirty to you, but he would know that every time you said something filthy to him, he had to try like hell not to cum right then and there. with time, he’d experiment with doing it more himself, and once he got the hang of it, he’d never look back. you’d never be safe again. in bed, out of bed, in text - he’s making your mouth dry as often as humanly possible.

#the way gon’s section is just so entirely subby #listen #i’m right #th: cix #cix smut #kpop smut

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questiontocertaintyofreality · 5 months

Text

Theory: Sigma's Identity is Lev Tolstoi

Decay of the Angels is a organization, equivalent of Russian literature in Bsd. There is something in the subtext that has been puzzling me since the first moment I saw Fyodor and Nikolai together.

Where is Lev Tolstoi in the BSD universe?

I thought for the first tims hat he would not be on the same side as Fyodor and Nikolai because of differences in philosophy and ideas, or that he would start on the same side and leave, etc. I was thinking about it, but Tolstoy did not appear in the story. So of coudse theory came to my mind.

Sigma, who is we don't know he's full identity" is actually Lev Tolstoi

I will explain everything in detail and at the end of these short paragraphs you will understand the logic of the theory. Now, I saw an idea at @bungoustraydogs-tr was written in just one sentence:

Sigma might be represent one of the building blocks of Russian literature, Gorky or Tolstoy.

is it possible ?

I think: (Drum voices)

He could be

Let's dive to the point. With his own words and writing, Lev Tolstoi is constantly searching for something that can be called internal and tries to understand his own self, why he is alive, what is being a god etc. He explains that he is trying to understand. He thinks day and night to prove to himself how the value of life is determined and the existence of the God he actually believes in. He is similar to Sigma, who does not remember his memories, does not actually have a sense of self, and therefore tries to understand the world he thinks he lives in. Tolstoy's sense of self was also undeveloped. At the same time, Sigma existed in the middle of nowhere, meaning he had no choice but to seek values, vitality, and purpose. He thought he had to follow the path given to him. To follow the path promised to him. Rules made by destiny , well, sound familiar to someone also to someone's characters . Tolstoi

At the same time;

"The view that knowledge acquired through reason leads to error helped me to save myself from the wrong path of indulging in unproductive thoughts. The certainty that knowledge of truth can only be found through life called me to doubt the correctness of my life. Despite everything, I was looking for God, I was hoping to find Him, and I was directing a prayer to the God I was looking for and couldn't find, as was the old custom. Sometimes I was weighing and measuring Kant's and Schopenhauer's facts about the unprovability of God's existence in my mind, and sometimes I was trying to refute these facts."

These are the sentences coming from Lev Tolstoi's own mouth.

Second thought for the theory;

When Sigma was born in the middle of nowhere, he had a ticket for a train that wasn't in the desert.Simple. Anna Karenina. Anna Karenina is a book that begins with children playing with trains, and the train has an importance that cannot be hidden in terms of the plot. Even though I haven't personally read it, I researched that trains were important to the book.

Second thought for theory;

When Sigma was born in the middle of nowhere, he had a ticket to take a train that wasn't in the desert. Simple. Anna Karenina. Anna Karenina is a book that begins with children playing with trains, and the train has an importance that cannot be hidden in terms of the plot. Although I haven't personally read it, I researched that trains were important to the book.

Thirdly, while thinking about religion and morality, Tolstoy, like most people, thought that the world in which a religious person lives was not the most important fact. He had no ambition, but he took good care of himself because he valued life. Sigma voided a gamble at Sky Casino, giving its customer a second chance. Sky Casino was life for Sigma and he nullified one of the game his customer play so Sigma think games aren't important as his customers views. In fact, the search for talent emerged in parallel with acquiring knowledge.

I can believe Asagiri doesn't want t add Tolstoy but after all the authors reveal in story.... Also Sigma isn't count as a villiain after all and Lev Tolstoi really want to see himself as a better person, this is kinda a obsession to him. So, this theory might make sense

#lev tolstoi #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd theory #bsd analysis #nikolai gogol #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #sigma bsd #anna karenina

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forgotten-rain · 4 months

Text

more people need to talk about how

1. Gale thinks the world is better off without him in it.

He thinks the mistake he made was so monumental that it's not even worth him being alive anymore. He thinks that if he does as Mystra asks and blows himself up to kill the elder brain, then at least his folly would amount to something. He's lived for a year in darkness and isolation and convinced himself that the only way to move forward is by somehow regaining his goddess's favour, and if he can't do that then he's not worth the air he breathes. He wants so desperately to matter, to mean something, that he's willing to throw his whole life away to garner even a fraction of the love Mystra used to bestow upon him. He's a brilliant man, an incredible wizard, kind-hearted, and trying so damn hard to do the right thing, but somehow he fails to see all those qualities and puts his worth solely on a single mistake he made that he made out of love. Out of ambition and out of desire, but ultimately out of love. And now, after spending months in self-imposed isolation, the only future he sees for this world is one where he's not in it. And,

2. That he doesn't think he's worthy of Tav. He doesn't believe that anyone can love him as he is, no matter how often Tav tries to convince him otherwise. If a literal god deemed him unworthy, then who is he to claim he isn't? He finds the ability to love again with Tav, starts the slow and excruciating journey of healing together with them, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he still believes he's not good enough. He wants to be more. He wants to be everything that Tav wants him to be. He wants to be everything Tav needs him to be. He wants to prove to them that he can be a good fighter, a good lover, a good friend. That's why he asks again and again if they wouldn't love him better if he were a god. If he was perfect - truly perfect. If he could command armies and fell kingdoms, if he could give them everything they could ever dream of. Wouldn't Tav want that? Why would they want his battered, broken, mortal self when they could have a perfected version of him? What beauty is there in failure, in making mistakes, in being flawed? Even when Tav insists that they love him for who he is, not for the power he would wield, he struggles to accept it. He trusts that they're telling the truth, but he's been a wizard of renown for so long that he doesn't quite know how to be a regular man any more. His whole notion of worth has been tied so tightly with power and control for so long that he's forgotten what it is like to be loved simply for being who he is. Not the Wizard of Waterdeep. Not Mystra's Chosen. But a man, wandering in the dark like everyone else, afraid, but so full of hope.

#i have Thoughts #and a lot of them are about my husband #gale dekarios #and his issues of self worth #larian wheres the option to give him a big squeezy hug #he offers so much #and asks for so little in return #baby i love you #you deserve all the planes #also hot take but i dont hate mystra #im putting this in the tags because im a coward #she sucks but shes a god #like #theyre all fickle #its kind of a god thing #and at least she had reason to be angry #not reason enough to give my man depression #she could have handled it better #but she was threatened #and i guess felt betrayed by the man she loved #like opening up an old wound #anyway gale is baby girl and i unironically want to have his children #ive never felt the mother instinct before #but gods damn it i will mother his children #and give him a happy blissful domestic life #where he can malewife to his hearts content #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale bg3 #gale of waterdeep

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thehollowwriter · 2 months

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Trying to pick one I've not seen answered in some way or other so far has been a fun little challenge so here we go~

🐺 what relationship does your oc have with Jack?

🍎 what relationship does your oc have with Epel?

🏹 what relationship does your oc have with Rook?

Ohhh boy, this one's gonna be interesting. Thanks for the ask, Cyan!

At first? Finn is neutral to Jack. He doesn't know this fluffy first year at all, and he's quiet enough so that's fine. He gets some amusement out of it when Jack is roped into Chapter 3's chaos, but that is quick to fade after the destruction of Azul's contracts.

He's pissed. He's so so pissed and the neutrality towards Jack is absolutely shattered, and he has it out for this guy almost as much as Leona, Yuu, Grim Ace, and Deuce.(Finn is not very mentally stable atp so..)The only reason he isn't as angry with Jack is cause Jack was kinda just swept up in things most of the time, and he's not malicious. If there's any possible opportunity to make Jack suffer, even if it's just an inconvenience, Finn is going to take it.

Jack finds Finn creepy and untrustworthy and dislikes him almost just as much as the Octavinelle trio. When Finn used Ace's voice to lure him and the others right to the tweels, it was almost like something out of a thriller. The way Finn honest to Seven tried to blast them after Azul's overblot did not help matters.

Unfortunately, neither of them like each other at all. It is unfortunate because if it weren't for Azul's OB, they would've had a chance of getting along.

He finds Epel kinda funny, to be honest. He's not sure what is specifically, but he finds Epel really entertaining. He does appreciate Epel's ambitions, even of he may or may not think it's... odd. He talks about Epel with Vil a number of times, and can understand the potential Vil sees in him. Finn is curious to see what this little potato will grow into.

Epel, meanwhile, is cheering to the rooftops because, oh, Great Seven, there's finally someone shorter than him around! He doesn't mock Finn for his height, but he has a habit of pointing out Finn's shortness when other people are around, as some kind of way to 'prove' he's not the smallest.

Other than that, the creepy vibes he gets from Finn does freak him out, and he wonders if Finn is secretly some kind of fae to give off those vibes. He attempts to challenge the other first years to "poke" Finn, although that never went anywhere.

Finn is neutral to Epel apart from some mirth at his antics, and Epel is really freaked out by him.

Oh. Oh, Finn does not like Rook. No no no nope nope, please, for the love of god, get this creepy human away from him. Rook calling him 'beauté silencieuse' was something that threw him off once he figured out what it meant, as he's unused to being referred to in a positive light, nevermind being called beautiful, by strangers, especially humans.

He found Rook's antics entertaining when he first came to NRC, and even interesting since he learned a few things, but when Rook started stalking Jade, Floyd and Azul, Finn was protective and weary, and honestly considering eating him.

When the stalking extended to him, it was really awful because the feeling of eyes on him/being watched triggered a panic attack. He despises Rook and frequently implies to Vil that he should be stripped of his position as vice dorm leader.

Rook, in true Rook fashion, finds Finn utterly fascinating. A quiet, unconfrontational (is that a word?) student, a walking mystery. Yes, he feels that sense of dread just like everyone else, but all it does is fuel his curiosity and need to know more about Finn. Finn, so we'll behaved an poised, with a restrained violent and sadistic side that made Rook's skin tingle.

And when he discovered Finn was an incredibly rare species of shark mer: a cookie cutter shark? Ohhh, he doubled his efforts to learn. He was delightfully surprised to discover that Finn was romantically involved with those three Octavinelle students. Why, love is such a beautiful thing, is it not? He is excited to observe the four of them and their unique ways of showing love further.

Finn is considering turning himself into sushi (this is a joke), and Rook is endlessly fascinated and curious. Send help. Please.

Tagging: @distant-velleity @krenenbaker @theleechyskrunkly @skrimpyskimpy @officialdaydreamer00 @the-banana-0verlord @minteasketches @whspermy-name @oya-oya-okay @cynthinesia @kitwasnothere @boopshoops

#quinn quips #quinn answers #finn clearcove #octavinelle #jack howl #savanaclaw #rook hunt #epel felmier #pomefiore #twisted wonderland #twst oc #oc x canon #ask game #oc ask game #quinn's friends #cyan

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blackjackkent · 22 days

Text

Occurs to me that I forgot to get Karlach's first engine upgrade and almost let the tieflings wander off again without doing it. We know from Hector's run that she can survive not doing it until Last Light (although it did break the romance and I had to use console commands to re-enable it :P ), but I remembered in time so we might as well do it now.

And oh hey, while popping in camp to get her, looks like Gale has something to talk about! I'm sure it is something normal and not world-shattering at all.

After giving him another pair of magical boots to snack on, he looks at her with a very dismayed expression.

"Good gods," he murmurs. "It hardly has any effect. Mystra have mercy on us all." He shifts uneasily from foot to foot. "Listen - I need to speak to you. To all of you. It would be unconscionable of me to remain silent."

Rakha's eyes fix on him at once, attentively. It seems he finally means to give answers about this condition and what it involves - something she has been deeply frustrated not to receive already. "Go on," she says curtly. A slight pause, and then she adds slightly more quietly, remembering their shared experience channeling the Weave, "You're among friends."

There's only a hint of irony in the words. She knows perfectly well that Gale does not fully trust her, even now. But he is ready to talk, regardless, it seems.

He laughs softly through his nose at the comment. "I might just be about to remedy that," he murmurs. "You have to know... who I was. You have to know who I really am."

Rakha does not even know who she really is, let alone anyone else, but she says nothing, just nods.

"What I am," he goes on gravely, "is a walking shadow of the promise I once held. I'm... what one might call a wizard prodigy, who from an early age could not only control the Weave but compose it - much like a musician, or a poet."

She remembers the way he guided her into the depths of the Weave, pulled it through them and around them like a blanket. Yes. She can believe this. She nods again.

"Such was my skill," he continues, "that it earned me the attention of the mother of magic herself. The Lady of Mysteries. The goddess Mystra. She revealed herself to me and she became my teacher. In time, she became my muse, and later even my lover."

This gives Rakha some pause. He speaks very casually of meeting the goddess face to face - the source of power that she felt that night in the Weave. The deity whose face Gale held in the palm of his hand. Muse? Lover?

She remembers her raw, violent night with Lae'zel, tries to picture knowing that her partner controlled the very fabric of magic itself. It is difficult to conceive. "Are you telling me you made love to a goddess?" she asks skeptically.

He smiles slowly, a flicker of nostalgic glee. "Oh yes." Then his expression calms back into sober strain. "We enjoyed each others' company - body, mind, and soul. But even so, I desired more. You see... no matter how powerful a wizard we mortals can become, we never scratch more than the surface of the Weave. Mystra keeps us in check. There are boundaries she doesn't let us cross. Yet every time I was with her, I stood on the precipice, gazing into the wonders that lay beyond." His lips tighten in a frown. "I sought to cross her boundaries."

She focuses for a moment on the everpresent tingle of magic along her skin, her awareness of the fabric of magic as she experiences it. She tries to imagine what he might mean, of power beyond it, greater still. "How exactly did you try to cross those... boundaries?" she asks.

"I tried to convince her. I pouted, I pleaded, I swore my ambition was only to serve her better. But she only smiled and told me to be contented." He smiles bitterly. "As inconceivable as it seems to me now, I shared a bed with a goddess, and yet I wasn't satisfied. So I sought to prove myself worth to her instead." A pause. He sets his jaw with determination. "We come now to the crux of my folly. Shall I share the story behind it, or would you rather head straight to its sordid finale."

Rakha, of course, wants information more than almost anything and all but demands that he explain in fully.

He tells her of the empire of Netheril, and how it fell after its lord sought to usurp Mystra's power and in doing so, destroyed his people, himself, and the Weave itself. He explains how Mystra put the pieces back together - all but one - and how Gale himself learned of a missing piece locked away in an ancient Netherese tome.

"What if, I thought," he says. "What if after all this time, I could return this lost part of herself to the goddess?"

Rakha's eyes narrow. She has little context for much of the world, but the concept of hubris is not a difficult one to grasp. "What was the answer to that question?" she asks.

"The answer was to try," he answers, as she could have expected. "The outcome was to fail." Again that flash of deep, self-recriminating bitterness. "I was certain that this deed of raw power draped in romance would convince Mystra to take me by the hand and welcome me into her hitherto forbidden domains. I was mistaken."

He crouches down before her, extends a hand towards hers. "I obtained the fabled book and took it into my study. As for what happened next... here. Place your hand over my heart. Let me show you."

She squints cautiously at him for a long moment, then reaches out and places her hand into his. He pulls it at once to his chest; she can feel the heavy thump of his heart under his robes. And something else, too - a pulsing of the Weave, a sucking, drawing-in sensation pulling desperately, greedily at the fabric of magic around it.

Narrator: You feel the tadpole quiver as you realize Gale is letting you in. Into the dark...

The connection opens between them and with it comes a roiling mass of deep, black pain, dragging her headlong into his mind. She cries out, tries to jerk away, but her palm feels glued to his chest.

Narrator: You see through Gale's eyes, staring down the corridors of a dread memory. A book, bound, then suddenly opened. Inside there are no pages, only a swirling mass of blackest Weave that pounces. Its teeth, its claws - it's unstoppable as it digs through and becomes part of you. And gods... is it ever-hungry...

With a final wrenching effort, she pulls herself backwards, breaking the connection with a snap that resonates through her whole body.

Yank your hand away.

She draws back, stares at him from under hooded brows. It is as she first suspected some days ago - he too carries a hungry monster inside him, a creature of shadow that demands his action. He has mistrusted her, all this time - when he has known himself just as trapped by a force he does not control.

Or perhaps *because* of that.

He watches her as she draws away, his eyes fixed on her face. "Terrifying, isn't it?" he murmurs. "And that is only the beginning. This Netherese blight - this 'orb' for lack of a better word, is balled up inside my chest. And it needs to be fed. As long as I absorb traces of the Weave from potent enough sources, it remains quiet. Were it ever to fully destabilize, however..."

She can hear the threat in his voice and stiffens involuntarily. "Go on."

"I will erupt," he says flatly. "I don't know the exact magnitude of the eruption, but given my studies of Netherese magic, I'd say even a fragment as small as the one I carry... it'd level a city the size of Waterdeep."

Fear. It bursts through her immediately - and on its heels, anger. He has kept this from her, from all of them - the fact that he is a walking bomb wearing a man's face. And he has judged her for the monster in her head, when she did not make the choice to carry it as he did. He has endangered them all.

The beast growls in her head; she tries to shake it away, but the words slip out, angry, cold. "By rights I should kill you," she hisses.

He takes a step back. He is well aware of her ability and willingness to carry through on the threat - but he does not look afraid so much as terribly sad. "Perhaps that is what I deserve," he agrees softly. "But you deserve no such thing. To kill me is to unleash the orb." Another step back. "All of this... it must feel like a betrayal. Say the word, and we'll part ways."

It would be easy to let the beast slip free, to punish him, make him hurt for the injustice he has done to her. And she is sure the beast does not care one whit for any explosion that might follow.

But if he is right, then he cannot die, not here. And he cannot be sent away; in the wilderness alone, he would die almost as certainly.

And... he shared the Weave with her. No matter how angry she might be - that fact remains, flat and inescapable. He shared the Weave with her, and he shares the tadpole connection, and he is one of them, part of the small amount of the world that she knows, for better or for worse.

She looks inward, stares down the beast, and when it withdraws, she steps forward very slowly. Meeting Gale's eyes, she puts out her hand and rests it unmoving against his throat.

An unspoken message. I could kill you. I am angry, and the beast wishes it. But I. Will. Not.

Her hand falls to her side.

"We've come this far," she says curtly. "And we'll continue on together. This is how it will be."

He tenses at the touch, then slowly relaxes as she draws back. "That is... a great relief," he whispers hoarsely. "Oh, a great relief indeed. You..."

He pauses, then nods slowly, meeting her eyes, understanding what she has said - and what she hasn't, and what they share between them now for better or for worse. "You truly are a soul that steels my own," he says quietly. "From all my new-rallied heart, I thank you. I thank you all--" he adds, for the others have gathered around, listening with various degrees of concern. "I understand if you stand against me. I'm humbled if you stand with me. Either way, I will do my best not to let you down."

He steps forward, reaches out a hand and - when Rakha does not pull away - he rests his palm carefully on her shoulder. His eyes remain fixed on hers. "I stand at a precipice," he says. "But if you do not give up hope, neither shall I. I'll fight. I'll resist - as long as I can."

She nods slowly. Yes. We will resist - both of us with these dark beasts inside us. Perhaps... perhaps we will even succeed.

#bjk plays bg3 durge #rakha the dark urge #ok really very pleased with the ending of this :O #unexpectedly dramatic lol

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galacticgraffiti · 2 months

Text

⋞ The War of Life and Death III ⋟

An Eya & Fives story. Huge thanks to @pinkiemme for loving me and letting me borrow Fives art for my little header!

Rating: Mature (for some gore and heavy themes) Wordcount: 5.1k Warnings: angst, fighting, gore, general violence, panic attack/ptsd, hurt/no comfort Summary: The match ensues... everything goes well and everybody is happy forever (I am lying).

Part I ✧ Part II ✧ Part III

━━━━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━━━━

Part III: A Dance with Death

Coruscant, Ramikadyc Dojo. 19 BBY.

Eya feels the tension of Fives’s body more than they see it. That is the first lesson they were taught, just a small tadpole in the créche of their youth, only learning how to walk after their legs had grown in. And they soaked up the knowledge that was given to them: A true warrior relies on all their senses. Sight is never the most important thing, especially for a Nautolan.

They can practically hear their buir’s voice when they sidestep Fives charging at them, a memory tugging at the edge of their mind.

“Isiri abiik, Ne’kho. Aala agol be aru’e. Ori’jate, ad’ika!”

Fives’s teeth are clenched, his lips curled into an ugly snarl, and Eya realises this fight means something to him. He thinks he has something to prove – if not to himself then to them. This might have started as friendly sparring, might even be a way to get the tension out of Fives’s body, but it’s become more than that to him. Whether it is out of frustration or because their talk has stirred some ambition inside him – Fives wants to win this fight desperately.

Too bad he won’t.

“Udesii, vod!” they call out to him, dancing around the mat as they gauge his movements, trying to assess whether his rage runs deep enough to be dangerous. “This is a fight between friends, no? Doesn’t matter who wins in the end.”

The way Fives growls at that is almost enough to make them pity him. He will not come out of this a happy man, not with this… this need he has, this desperation to win. Eya even considers letting him win only for a split second, but – no. He asked for this, not for special treatment. Fives will bloody well learn what it means to fight Kyreya.

“Stop mocking me,” Fives grits out. Anger hangs in the air, sudden and acidic, so much so that Eya can taste it even though their tendrils remain safely knotted behind their head.

“I am not mocking you,” they say, their hands raised as if to calm a wild animal as they mirror Fives’s steps. “You want to… let it all out. You want to throw your anger at me, that’s fine. Do your worst, and I will take it. Vode ratiin, nayc? Get angry. Go loud. Just… don’t get angry at me. It was you who wanted to fight in the first place. Let yourself feel, and then use that anger. Don’t lose yourself in it.”

Fives crumples up his nose, then gives a sharp nod.

“Vode ratiin, Kyr’eya.”

“Jate.”

Eya relaxes their posture for a moment, shaking out their arms before they drop back into their fighting stance, fists raised in front of their face. Fives shifts on his feet, and Eya can feel it coming – that eruption of tension; they can see the lunge before he takes a step, see it in the way his muscles tense and how he ducks his head to go low. Still, he nearly gets them, missing only by an inch when they twirl out of the way.

Fives is fast – faster than they had anticipated. It was to be expected that he would be well-trained- he is not only a soldier, he is an ARC-Trooper and despite the army’s preference for meaningless chest candy, ARC does actually mean something among their ranks. And he is Mando’ad, trained in the ways of battle, even if the approach was… less traditional than Eya’s upbringing.

Eya grins at the obvious frustration pouring off of Fives in waves. Riling him up might not be the wisest thing to do in his current state… but gods, is it ever fun.

“Come on then, verd’ika, come at me. I thought you wanted to fight.”

Fives spits out a curse, but he doesn’t attack again, keeps his distance as they both prance around the other, sizing up their respective opponent. Eya is heavier, but that also makes them slower, no matter how hard they train, no matter how good their reflexes. Fives is lighter, less muscle which means less force. Even when – even if – he does hit, he will have to hit a lot harder than Eya to make them waiver. They don’t doubt for a second that he can, and that he will. They just need to make him angry enough to charge.

The taste of battle is familiar on their tongue, settling heavy over them. It’s the smell of sweat, of fear and anger, of blood and the dirty ground beneath their steady feet. Eya’s eye whirs in its socket as they regard Fives, the heaving of his chest, the flame of his eyes.

And Eya pounces.

A quick shift of weight, a mean left hook, aimed right at Fives’s chin- and they miss. He moves, faster than even their cybernetic can follow, a shadow slipping out of reach. Eya laughs.

“Ah, there we go!”

Their laughter turns a little mean as they follow Fives’s retreat with a giant leap, ducking out of his way the same moment they have solid ground beneath their feet and he throws his small fists at them in rapid succession. None of the blows land, but Fives nearly loses his balance from his own momentum, too sure he would hit solid muscle, and Eya uses that.

One of their feet hooks between Fives’s legs and he stumbles to the ground, reaching out to pull Eya with him, barely just managing to throw them off kilter enough for them to fall. They land in a pile, Eya rolling over quickly with Fives straddling their chest, his wrists in the death grip of their left hand, his foot on their right arm, pressing it to the ground.

“You fight dirty,” Fives grunts, but those are all the words he can get out before Eya lets go of his hands to land a brutal blow, punching the air from his lungs. He gasps like a fish out of water, but recovers quicker than should be possible, bending down without regard for his own safety and knocking his head against Eya’s, hard. The surprise is enough to give Fives time to twist out of their grasp and back away from them, spitting onto the ground as he stalks around the circle of the mat.

“Maybe you should fight dirty too,” Eya suggests, pushing themself up from the ground as casually as they can manage, just to stoke the fire of rage in Fives’s chest. “I thought you wanted to beat me.”

“In a fair match!” Fives exclaims, sounding equally out of breath and angry.

“Is it not fair if we both fight dirty?” Eya cocks their head. “I said, come on. Throw all you’ve got at me, be bitter and angry and unfair. Use every trick in the book, and then use those never written down. I am Mandalorian, I can take it. You won’t hurt me, ad’ika.”

“I. am not. little.” Fives spits the words out like bile, and Eya gurgles.

“To me, almost everyone is. So make good use of it. Be smart about it. Don’t just try to hit me, vod. Make it count, make it hurt.”

Fives’s face softens for a moment when he regards them with serious eyes.

“You sound almost like you want to be hit.”

“And what if I do?” Eya hums. “It’s been ages since I have felt the remnants of a truly good fight, and you… you have the makings of a worthy opponent. Try your hardest to make me bleed and see if you can manage.”

“I…” Fives shakes his head for a moment. “I don’t want to actually hurt you, Kyreya, cyare.”

“I know.” Eya shakes their head. “It’s not about that, not about me. Forget that it is me for a moment. Picture everything, picture everyone you have ever wanted to destroy. Think of them when you aim your blows, I promise I won’t break.”

Fives squares up his shoulders at their words, the flame in his eyes back with a vengeance. He sees a chance to win and he won’t back down. Which is exactly what Eya wanted. His voice, hesitant at first, is stronger now.

“If you say you are fine with it…”

“I am,” Eya confirms. They are itching for the fight now- for the taste of blood on their tongue, for the aches and scars and bruises that come with battle. It’s too late to turn back. They need this fight just as much as Fives did earlier. Maybe even more.

When a good soldier tastes blood, they don’t back away. They look for the source and then they apply pressure until the pain stops or death ends it all. Eya is a good soldier. Eya is the best soldier.

Fives shifts from one foot to another, contemplating where to best put his weight. Eya mirrors him as they watch, ready to counteract any attack thrown at them. The muscles in Fives’s calf contract, and just as Eya steps forward, so does Fives.

They collide in the middle, in a tangle of limbs and fists. A quick sequence of exchanged blows, barely any of them landing- the rattle of Fives’s laughter- the tight knot of Eya’s tendrils squirming in an attempt to taste like they usually do: The air smells like sweat and anticipation, and it makes Eya’s skin tingle.

Yes, they want to scream. Yes, this is battle. Give me all you have, make it hurt.

Their fist hits Fives’s side and he groans, stumbling backwards and gasping for air. Rough curses fall from his lips as he eyes Eya up and down, and they smile their gleaming beskar smile.

Fives’s fist hits them square in the mouth and they can feel their lip split, but the sharp pain only spurns them on. The taste of seaweed blood replaced the taste of beskar in their mouth when they wipe their face, smearing the blood all over.

The next hook Fives throws is easily countered, one of Eya’s taped knuckles crashing into his cheekbone with a sickening crack. Fives howls but doesn't retreat. His movements grow frantic, but Eya still meets him on equal footing, just as fast and with more force than before.

The soles Eya’s feet scrape against the ground, cold and hard and unforgiving, just as Fives’s fingers dig into their bicep, pulling at them. Eya stumbles for just a moment, and Fives’s knee is jammed into their crotch. They thank the heavens that they have no vital organs there - none that have deigned to show themselves today, anyways - and grin in the face of Fives’s confusion.

“Fuck’s sake, not fair,” he groans.

Eya doesn't respond. Fives is still beautifully distracted, and when they lean back and kick their foot against his chest with dangerous force, he tips over backwards.

Fives roars when his back meets the ground, his spine against violent duracrete. He curls in on himself like a child for just a second. Eya watches, panting from exertion. They have not enjoyed themself like this in ages.

Fives’s saliva is bloody, dripping down his chin when he stands up, anger distorting his usually so beautiful face.

The world goes quiet.

There is the soft exhale of air, and the thumping of their heartbeats in their ears. With one step, one move, the fire of battle crackles again. Fives throws himself at Eya, sinuous and so small compared to them. His foot kicks upward, aiming at the softness of their stomach this time, and while Eya is distracted deflecting the blow, a clenched fist connects with their jaw.

Eya’s kyram’edeem clack together audibly, metal biting into bone, their lip cracking at the force of the blow.

“Fuck, you hit harder than I would’ve given you credit for, verd’ika,” they spit, but there is a grin on their face. Finally, the taste of blood, the taste of a good fight, of a worthy opponent.

“You should know better,” Fives calls out. “Come on, you can hit me harder than that!”

Fives is grinning at Eya with bloodied teeth. When he wipes his face with the back of his hand, their eyes focus on the way his knuckles are ripped open by the force of his blows against their unwavering chest.

“You don’t want me to, soldier,” they snarl through gritted fangs. “Don’t overdo it.”

“Careful is my middle name.” Fived chuckles.

“It really, really isn’t,” Eya growls. Fives only laughs in agreement, and starts circling them again, waiting for another opportunity to attack. Eya doesn’t give him much time.

They leap forward, their fists raised, pushing at Fives’s hasty defence in a craze, thrashing and pushing, pulling none of their punches. Fives ducks and counters. His fists are quick, and he lands one – two – three blows in rapid succession, sweet pain blooming in the wake of his hands.

Eya curls their lip in disappointment. For a moment, they step back to gather themself. They need to be faster, they can’t keep underestimating Fives. He’s good – not good enough, but better than they had anticipated. His blows barely hurt, years of rigid training and practise have rid Eya of that pesky feeling, but still – if they let Fives get any more hits in, he’ll get cocky.

A deep breath. The stench of sweat stains Eya’s tongue, combined with the faintest whiff of blood – Fives’s metallic and red, Eya’s tangy and deep blue. And the fight starts again.

Fists and faces collide in an explosion of ecstatic violence. Eya’s breath is cold on Fives’s face, his hot in theirs. Their tendrils fight to unwind, to taste him, to help them, but Eya keeps them under control.

They block and attack, almost as if taking turns, as if both of them had agreed to draw the fight out as long as they can. Eya savours it, this perfect anger that rises in their chest.

They could end him in a heartbeat – the longer they fight, the more certain Eya becomes. Fives has weaknesses that are glaringly obvious: He leaves his left side wide open whenever he attacks. One good hit to his kidney, and he would be on the ground and at their mercy. His face is precious and he tries his best to protect it, so Eya makes it their mission to hit him as often as they can: A fist to his jaw, then his nose.

While the blows to his chest and sides make Fives stumble backwards, Eya puts less force into their assaults on his face. They would like to keep Fives intact and conscious for as long as they can. This is only just starting to become fun.

“You’re pulling your punches, Kyreya,” Fives snarls when they connect again, his fist crashing against Eya’s clavicle in a move that has them suck in a wheezing breath through their teeth.

That one hurt.

“Hmm, would you rather I break your pretty little face in half?” Eya hisses, their tone much meaner than their actual intention. They never want to hurt him, as much as they need to hurt someone.

“Don’t you worry about my pretty little face.” Fives laughs when he hooks his fingers into the waistband of Eya’s trousers and, in a move that seems almost erotic, pulls them closer. “I’d be more worried about your own nose, cyare. Seems that’s about the only part of your face that’s still intact.”

It’s a mean comment, and Eya shouldn’t let it get to them. They growl, one of their hands wrapping around Fives’s throat, moving so fast not even he can counter it. Their fingers close, and just like that, Fives is lifted- lifted from the ground, into the air.

It’s so easy. He would be so easy to snap in half.

He claws at Eya’s hand – they always become so desperate so quickly – but finds no leverage. Eya stares at him coldly, cocking their head, their arm not even shaking from holding up his weight.

“Gar serim, vod’ika. I am the one who should be worried.” Sarcasm drips off their voice like poison. They squeeze just a little tighter, Fives’s head dark red as he gasps for air and is granted no reprieve.

In a desperate attempt, he stretches out his arm, legs kicking until Eya lets go of him.

“It would have been so easy for me to destroy you,” they jeer, the cruelty of their words bitter on their own tongue. A small voice in the back of their mind tells them they are being mean, tells them they should stop, tells them they should check in with Fives. They ignore it.

“Why don’t you, then?” Fives’s voice is impossibly hard, anger soaking the air between them, anger that makes Eya’s vision swim red at the edges when they taste it. “Why don’t you, hm, Kyreya? Have you gone soft in your time here? You, who pretends to be such a great warrior, lost their edge? Stayed out of the fight too long, huh, hut’uun?”

The word comes unexpected, the insult drifting through the air and burying its hooks deep inside Eya’s hearts. They narrow their eyes, rage boiling in their blood like molten fire.

“Nu hut’uun, haar chak! Gar nakar’mi meg gar sirbu.” They spit out the words like they burn on their tongue. “You don’t know the ways of old, vod’ika. How dare you insult me like this? Especially after losing to me in battle, how dare you-”

“I haven’t lost yet,” Fives whispers, and even before the words have left this tongue, he is on them again, clawing at their side until Eya doubles over, sharp nails burying into their skin. Fives uses the opportunity, wrapping his own body around theirs until he’s hanging from their back. Eya roars and twists, but they can’t reach him, not like this.

Fives howls triumphantly, fingers digging into the meat of Eya’s shoulder. His legs wrap around their middle, his arm snaking around Eya’s throat until he has the leverage he needs to block their air supply.

Eya’s vision starts to swim, wheezing breaths wrenching themselves from their dry lungs. Their gills flutter uselessly, tendrils coiling tight with the taste of Fives’s premature triumph.

There is only one way out, and it’s dangerous. Eya makes it work. They stumble forward, one step – two steps, to where soft mats cover the ground. And let themself fall backwards.

Fives is crushed beneath their weight, his victorious howl fading into a wheeze, breath rattling in his throat. His arm drops, nails clawing at Eya, at the hardness of them, the muscle of their shoulder, the bone of their jaw, until they find something soft.

Fives’s fingers press into Eya’s eye sockets, and then, all they see is red.

The world fades, and it’s all them and that pain, that unbearable pain and their eye- gone- they can’t see, there is only darkness, darkness and the shiver of impact, the crack of bone beneath them. Their fists curl up as Eya twists, their movements more muscle memory than conscious decision. The eye whirs in their skull, strange and hateful, and something presses down harder, throbbing in their skull.

It’s like blacking out, only worse. Eya’s ears are ringing, their hearts pounding in their chest as they try to find whatever is hurting them like this- find it and get rid of it, destroy it, annihilate it, crush it until this pain- this fucking pain- until it stops, it stops, it needs to STOP.

Bone snaps beneath their palm when they punch down, but they still can’t see, can’t see, can’t see CAN’T SEE.

Their head is swimming with disorientation, their gills contracting with dry air instead of water, and Eya floats. Blood is dripping down their cheek, but it tastes… wrong, tastes like metal instead of the sea, is thinner, is sweeter than their own.

Someone is groaning, and Eya’s fist shoots out in the direction of the noise. There is that sickening crunch of bone again, their fist connecting with a soft nose. Everything smells like blood, like sweaty fear. Finally, the pressure fades from their eyes, and Eya tries to open their eyes. Only one does, the other stuck somewhere between past and present.

Eya is met with the image of Fives below them, their hands wrapped around his neck, his face blooming with bruises, his nose broken. He is covered in blood, red and blue mixing on his tan skin in patterns of horrible beauty. Eya stares and stares and doesn’t see, their hands still squeezing, their breath still sharp, their hearts still out of rhythm. Their left eye whirrs in its socket, comes back to life, but Eya can’t see anything but the lifeless form below them, chest moving shallowly, legs still twitching. Their mind is unwilling to comprehend what their eyes are telling them: The dance with death is over.

It ends with Fives’s red grin as he spits blood in Eya’s face, with his smaller hands clawing on their larger ones, until they recognise his face under all that blood. Until their hands slowly unfurl from his delicate neck to let him breathe, his chest heaving when he gasps for air, his eyes unsteady, flicking back and forth.

“Oya, vod.” He hunches over, holding his knees tight, trying desperately to catch his breath. “I thought you were about to kill me just then.”

Eya is panting hard, their tendrils curling in the air as they taste the familiarity of Fives, trying to ground themself, trying to find their way back to the here and now, to this sweaty dojo and to their brother, who is alive, alive, though the look in his eyes is different than it was before the fight.

They did this. It’s their fault – he is afraid. They scared him, they-

Fives… Eya stretches out a tendril and he leans back a little, away from them in a weak attempt to hide his feelings. Eya can still taste it in the air though; not even a clone soldier can hide the stench of mortal fear.

They crouch down next to him, fingers knotted in their lap, eyes swimming. Eya stares at Fives’s bloodied face, at his broken nose and his split lip, the missing tooth and the gash through his brow, at his hair that’s matted with blood. And they realise they did that. This is all their fault – they hurt him when they promised they wouldn’t, they took him and broke him. He almost died by their hand, right here, when all it was supposed to be was a bit of fun.

Eya lost control, and they nearly destroyed him. Their vod, who trusted them with his life, and they took it and crushed it until he nearly bled out right next to them.

“I’m sorry.” Eya’s voice doesn’t sound like their own. So, they repeat it, over and over and over again until the words feel more familiar on their heavy tongue. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

Fives’s terror still hangs in the air like a shroud, and still, his small hands find their way around Eya’s, holding them tight and bathing them in something new- something soft and lovely and warm- love.

Eya shudders and tries to pull away, but Fives keeps them steady.

“Ne tok’kad,” he says firmly. “Stay with me, Kyreya. Look at me.”

Eya can’t bear it – can’t bear the soft affection lacing his voice, dripping from his skin, can’t bear the forgiveness he is showing them for no reason at all, can’t bear that he is here and alive when he was so close to dying for the stupid choice of trusting them.

They should have never agreed to fight him, should have never said yes, should have never-

Memories come crashing in, cruel and uninvited, dark shadows on the doorstep of their mind.

And they remember it all: The war, the fight, the death. A pale blue hand slipping from their grasp, the terrified sound of their buir in the face of an explosion that should never have happened, that Eya was the cause of. The look in Healas’s eyes dancing across the room, spotting them- The cries of the children left for dead, and the taste of pure dread that choked them all those years ago- the searing pain of their missing limb, the taste of burnt flesh on their tongue… and then, the witch, and the millions of souls living inside her, screaming and screaming and screaming and tugging at Eya, tugging them down to where everyone they had ever killed was waiting for their turn, pulling them from their own body. A voice, familiar and loved… until Eya hears the words it says.

Gar cuyi kad, gar cuyi kad, gar cuyi kyr, gar ner, ner kad ner kyr ner oya, Ne’kho-

“Kyr’eya!” There is another voice, steady and serious, almost angry, nagging at the back of their mind, a voice that is familiar but not of old. “Gar be’chaaj, verd’ika. Ke yaimpa at ni. Jii.”

Hands shake at them insistently, pulling at their real body, pulling them back from where they went, back to where they are tethered to the real world, where their arm aches and their knuckles burn, where the air smells of blood but not of death, of desperation but not of terror anymore.

“Eya, love.” The voice is right next to them, accompanied by the warm sweetness of affection that seeps into them. “Eya, I’m here. You’re here, and you’re okay. I’m okay.”

Eya turns their head, and the missing weight of their tendril weighs so heavy that they think they will tip over for a moment, and their eye isn’t right- isn’t right isn’t right, it’s so loud-

Finally, they focus, and reality comes flooding back. A small hand is patting their cheek, Fives nearly seated in their lap in order to get close enough to touch them. Fives. He looks so small, his lip trembling, his eyes large as he regards them.

“Eya?”

“Yeah.” Eya’s voice is rough, their throat dry and they can’t seem to swallow down the taste of metal on their tongue.

“You good?” Fives sounds like he doesn’t even expect a serious answer, and Eya isn’t about to give him one. There is nothing they could say that could make this better.

“Aye, I’m good. Don’t worry about me, vod.” Eya shakes their head, tendrils unravelling from the tight knot that has formed behind their head, trying to absorb all the smells that fill the air. “I was… my mind was far away. It happens after a fight, sometimes. I’m good, I promise.”

“Hmm.” Fives stares at them with dark eyes. “I- Don’t get mad, Eya. But… I don’t think you are.”

Eya opens their mouth to object, but Fives raises his hands as if to stop them.

“We don’t- we don’t have to talk about it. Not if you don’t want to, and… not to me. But maybe you should talk to… I don’t know. To someone. I don’t… I don’t think that is normal. I don’t think this is supposed to happen- gods, the way you were screaming-”

Screaming? Eya furrows their brow. Nobody has ever said anything about them screaming during an episode before.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” They shrug, their mind going a mile a minute. Screaming… it’s getting worse. But still- the way Fives is looking at them; somehow it’s worse than before. Pity has always been so much worse than fear.

Fives shakes his head, then flinches at his own movement. Dark bruises are blooming around his neck, the shape and size of Eya’s hands. Guilt rises in their chest like bile, bitter and rotten.

“It’s not about that,” Fives mumbles. “I just- I don’t think you’re well, Eya.”

“I’ve been fine until now,” Eya snarls, a sudden anger overtaking them at Fives’s insistence. They push his small body away to stand up from the ground. “I’m… fine. I’ve been managing, this was just… a mishap. I should not have agreed to fight you, I should have known better.”

“Known better?” Fives stares at them. “You mean- this has happened before?”

Eya shrugs and turns away, Fives’s gaze burning a hole into their back as they walk towards the lockers. This was just… a bad day. Just a bad day. They’re fine, they’ll be fine. Next time they’ll know- next time they won’t fight someone who means something to them, next time-

“Like I said,” they mumble, pulling their shirt over their head carefully, “I’ve been fine until now. Just… leave me be. I’ll take care of it.”

“Will you?” Fives’s voice is quiet and closer than they expected it to be. “I hope so… Gods, Kyreya. I hope so.”

Eya grunts noncommittally and turns to face Fives, who is staring up at them with a more serious expression on his face than they have ever seen him wear.

“I’ll see to it,” they repeat, though there is no real force behind their words. They are not sure they mean them just yet.

Fives eyes them a moment longer, mistrust shimmering golden in his eyes. Then, he nods slowly.

“If you say so.”

Quietly, they get dressed. When they walk out, Fives hugs Eya goodbye as he always does. Their tendrils curl around him softly, smoothing over his skin, covered in fresh bruises and old scars. It hurts to feel the love he still has for them, even after all this. He should hate them, but he has so much love to give.

Next time. They’ll talk about it next time. Tell him everything that happened, tell him who they are. He deserves to know. He deserves to know it wasn’t his fault that they hurt him, that it was all them- that they won’t do it again. He deserves to know that his love won’t be wasted on them. That they are trying to be better.

Next time. Eya’s tendrils curl around Fives’s arm for a moment before they let him go. He tastes like family, and when he smiles up at them, their hearts finally find their rhythm again.

It ends like this: With Fives walking away from them, kicking a pile of dirt in his way. With Fives turning around to wave at them, a small smile on his lips, and with Eya’s heart aching as they wonder where exactly they went wrong, and how to fix it all because if there ever was someone who deserves it, it’s this man with his soft heart and his sunshine smile.

It ends like this: With Fives fading into the grey of the city, and never coming back.

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Fin.

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Mando'a:

Isiri abiik, Ne’kho. Aala agol be aru’e. Ori’jate, ad’ika! - Smell the air, Ne'kho. Feel the moving flesh of your enemy. Very good, child! Udesii, vod! - Chill, bro. Vode ratiin, nayc? - Brothers forever, right? Jate. - Good. Gar serim, vod'ika. - You are right, little brother. hut'uun - Coward (atrocious insult to Mandalorians, the worst thing they can possibly be called) Nu hut’uun, haar chak! Gar nakar’mi meg gar sirbu. - I am not a coward, dammit. You don't know what you are saying. Gar cuyi kad, gar cuyi kad, gar cuyi kyr, gar ner, ner kad ner kyr ner oya, Ne’kho- You are the sword, you're the sword and the death, you are mine, my sword my death and my life, Ne'kho. Gar be’chaaj, verd’ika. Ke yaimpa at ni. Jii. - You are far away, soldier. Come back to me. Now.

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I'm sorry (I'm not). If you liked the angst, please leave a comment and a reblog! Always much appreciated.

@purgetrooperfox @ashotofspotchka @daimyosprincess @deewithani @baba-fett @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sleepingsun501 @queen--kenobi @kik51199 @ficsbynight @writingbylee @thefact0rygirl @wild-karrde @rescuethewretched @witchklng @ladykatakuri @certified-anakinfucker @mandoloriancookie @felinaone @rosieofcorona @amyroswell @palpipeen @mila-bee @idkwhatsgoingonwithme @kimiheartblade @ulchabhangorm

#ocs #oc eya #neyOCs #nautolan oc #mandalorian oc #fives #arc trooper fives #ct 5555 #neyo writes #eya's adventures

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ifievertoldyou · 2 months

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"New Discovery" by The Crane Wives for tHAW!Quackity

this song has very early/general thaw!quackity energy, so i'm going to analyze it

(click under the cut to see a lyrical breakdown)

“I want to stand on the edge of the water/ And see horizons stretch on forever/ I want to know that there are lands/ Not yet touched by human hands/ I want to be the one to find them.”

you can see a lot of quackity's former idealism in these lyrics, how he has such a bright outlook of what will happen in his future, how excited he is for all the opportunities he will have, and all the potential that he can harness into something great, something memorable.

on the flip side, these lyrics can also outline his hubris, as well as just the fact that quackity is incredibly ambitious, showing how he is very driven to do things that have never been done before. it doesn't matter to him that his goals are unprecedented and unrealistic for anyone, much less a Human to ever hope to actually accomplish. because he strives for more and wants to create a lasting legacy for himself, and you don't do that by just doing whatever's already been done before. you do that by shooting for the stars, by flying closer to the sun. that's how quackity tries to make himself shine amongst the others, even when it is to his own detriment in the end.

this song's tone is so light and hopeful because quackity hasn't yet fallen so far after his endeavors to get more bite him in the ass. he hasn't lost all that he's lost just yet, and it shows.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a desert/ And every dune is the same as the other/ I see my footprints in the sand/ So I know where I've been/ And these steps I take won't go to waste/ If I'm moving towards something”

not only do i really love the desert metaphor here and the way that this could also be Perfectly applied in a literal way to q's own beginning in this world, but it encapsulates quackity and his need for ambition and innovation pretty nicely too!

he wants to make something out of his life, and go down in history for something important, and this part of the song really does a good job showing that no matter what, he won't stop working as hard as he can to achieving these goals, even when he has to take it just one step at a time to get there.

“I want to believe there's something left for me/ A new discovery waiting for me”

quackity has beaten the odds and been the first or one of the firsts in a lot of things on his mission to leave a lasting legacy for himself: he was the first person to ever beat the sky gods in a game, he was the first ever person to introduce stripclubs to the contintent, he was one of the first people to be so openly Blessed by the sky gods. and that's not even mentioning how he managed to beat the odds in a lot of things, like partaking in the blood trials and passing them even despite only being a human, and figuring out his own way to make runes despite not knowing ancient. quackity is an incredibly innovative man, and he uses that fact to his advantage in helping him make these new advances and discoveries.

“I want to kindle a love that doesn't age/ Even when all the years carve lines into your face/ Tell me I will be surprised/ When I think I've memorized/ Every touch and every thought/ I want you to prove me wrong.”

although quackity is less likely to actually admit this to himself after his fiances left him, ultimately, what he’s always wanted was to love and be loved. his purpose isn't just about meaning something to the world, it's also about meaning something to someone. he wants his legacy to endure, but more than that, he wants his love to endure too. he wants both, but arguably he wants the love more, because what good is it to enjoy all the success he's had without somebody to enjoy it with?

vv link to the song vv

i say that this song is early-quackity coded as he's more scared of having that attachment after what happened with karlnapity. but deep down, he definitely still wants this with someone regardless, even if he doesn't want to let himself have it anymore. but this song is about the hope for all the new potential adventures in life, and hope is something that he had a lot more of before all the horrible things started happening to him.

and while quackity definitely still has hope and ambitions even now, he doesn't allow himself to have as many, so as to avoid unnecessary disappointment and hurt.

thanks for reading and, as always, here is where you can read thaw, so make sure to go do that if you haven't already!!

#thaw nation #thaw #thaw analysis #thaw!quackity #the house always wins #long post #the house always wins fic #thaw!quackity playlist #Spotify #my brain's a little fried from midterms still so hopefully this all makes sense ^^'

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ghastlywretch · 1 year

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re-reading ACOK Theon I and like…this guy is just so lost. Like, how did I not know from the jump that his entire arc would be about his identity and how he doesn’t truly know who he is, where he belongs, and what place to call home. You read it for the first time and you think, “oh, he wants power, he wants control. He wants to be king of the Iron Islands.” and like…yeah? On the surface, yes, that’s what’s motivating him, but even in this very first chapter the shiny exterior of this motivation has so many cracks and when you look through those cracks it’s just…a boy who has been lost his entire life, who doesn’t know what to do with himself, or who he is. This entire chapter is just building Theon up to break him down, which is basically what Theon’s arc in ACOK is, as a whole. When he comes to Pyke, everyone and everything is just laying into him, no punches pulled, whether it’s Aeron or Balon, everyone does their best to ensure Theon feels absolutely unwelcome by the end of the chapter.

His motivation to begin with is very flimsy but in an intentional way that opens up so many avenues for the exploration of his character. He starts the chapter personally ambitious, and then as it goes on you realize that his ambition stems from a need to prove a point, both to the northerners who see him as an outsider, and the Ironborn who see him as a traitor.

He says in the opening paragraph that he’s returning home, and yet, he kind of…hates home? He describes it as bleak, damp, dark and mundane.

And this makes you think he hates the Islands and the Ironborn, and you go with that, until he starts waxing poetic about the Old Way, and about how fearsome and mighty the Ironborn of old used to be.

He thinks about how Balon had told him that a hard place breeds hard men, so his romanticization of the Old Way comes from Balon, who is really intense about fulfilling that Ironborn masculine ideal (and I’m not even going to get into the whole thing with gender and daddy issues in just this chapter alone rn oh my GOD) and Making The Iron Islands Great Again, so much so that he starts a campaign to become king to restore the glory of the Islands.

And this is so indicative of not only Theon’s cognitive dissonance vis a vis his native land, but also of how much Theon’s views, especially about the Islands, are shaped by his father. (again, not getting into this here, maybe another time, because there's SO much there)

Theon, according to Maester Luwin, was never a good student, so it’s safe to assume whatever information he has regarding the Islands is from Balon’s correspondence, and that shapes his view of both the place and the people, of their lost glory and the need to restore it.

He probably thinks about the wondrous past of the Ironborn so much because the thought of his people being impressive warriors and reavers probably comforted him as a young boy in Winterfell surrounded by the legacy of the Starks. He probably latched onto that idea because it was something to be proud of, after his house lost to Ned and Robert.

So, in terms of his dilemma with identity, Theon feels a huge disconnect from the Ironborn by virtue of having spent a decade away from them, and his most important years of development, at that. He can connect more to the legends of his people than he can to the actual people, and he doesn’t feel like a Stark, either, because he has been keenly aware of his status as hostage all these years, regardless of Ned trying to “play the father from time to time”, just because of the entire conceit of him being in Winterfell in the first place (which is, you know, as a hostage, because his father was defeated in a war that wreaked havoc upon his people and his own family)

To makes matters of identity, self and belonging worse, he meets Aeron, who is nothing like the man he knew, which makes him feel uneasy and out of place. This feeling of unease is made even worse when he reaches Pyke and hardly recognizes anyone there, all the servants he had remembered having died. But back to Aeron, who is not only different, but religious now, reminding Theon of his lack of faith in his ancestral god.

This is a great passage, because not only are you getting Aeron accusing Theon of becoming a Stark by saying he prays to the old gods and not the Drowned God of his people, but also another mention of Ned that elaborates on Theon’s complex relationship with him, and on a more general level, the Starks.

And what’s interesting here is that Theon is indifferent about the gods. He doesn’t care much either way, and then he plays up his abhorrence of the old gods because of their connection to ned just to get in Aeron's good books. Even when he takes part in the ritual of the Drowned God with Aeron, he doesn't really care, and does it more as a way to gain Aeron's goodwill than anything else.0

Then, we get:

This really hits the nail on the head as far as his sense of alienness is concerned, as Aeron basically tells him that not only is he not considered trustworthy by himself and Balon, but his status as heir to Pyke is also under threat.

Aeron literally calls him a Stark, to really drive the point that they don’t think of him as one of their own home. Balon does the same in their meeting.

It’s so sad having to watch Theon attempt to assure his own father, again and again, that he is, in fact, not a traitor, that he is Ironborn. His blood. His heir. And then Balon hints at what Aeron had mentioned earlier, that Theon might not be Balon’s heir, so deep is the distrust of him in his own home.

I love this quote because again, Balon is asserting that Theon is out of his depth, and in alien territory, but also because he says that he will pay the iron price for his crown, reminding Theon of his gold chain bought with the gold price. He also mentions Urron Redhand, the same person Theon had mentioned whilst boasting oh his homeland, and it feels like a slap on his face, almost as if Balon is telling him that the Ironborn legends are not his to boast of, because he is not one of them.

I love how his interactions with Aeron and especially Balon are so chock-full of posturing on his end, trying to prove himself to his own family, and how the intimidating image he had built of himself in the intial part of the chapter is completely shattered. Chef’s kiss. lovely. I love a pathetic loser failprodigalson.

#this is a very basic theon stuff but i was just obsessed w how much there is of this specific throughline in his v first chapter #probably going to write that thing about gender and daddy issues as it related to theon #that's where it gets deliciously tragic 🔥#he's so roman roy coded ughhhhhhh #theon greyjoy #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf reread #acok #ignore the 'a' in the first tag ugh

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