#hard to believe ive hard him for about 6 years
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OC Evolution Tag
I was tagged by @rollingsim and @simmingonthelow so I went scavenging through the depths of my blog to find pics of Victor through years
This covers 2019-present (tho a pic for 2023 is missing...but it was same as basically all years prior) tbh he hasn't changed a whole lot until recently
Now he has body freckles (based off a singular pic on pinterest), custom tattoo setup ive mashed together which is more in line with mental canon, I've changed skin used, recently found new hair thats more what ive always wanted (i mirrored it and think i might edit it more to be longer) among various smaller tweaks ! who knows what the future may hold for further evolutions
#tagged#tag thing#oc: victor doyle#hard to believe ive hard him for about 6 years#him and archer both#longest surviving ocs ever#in my oc history#i only changed hair recently and while i like it#ngl its been a little weird to get used to
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Hey, guys! I've been receiving a ton of messages in response to my last post. It's reminding me of how I first discovered shifting. I feel like doing a little story time since Ive just passed the three-year mark of my discovery, and I've been reminiscing with friends about it.
I remember being in a very dark place when I stumbled upon shifting. I was depressed, and very suicidal. Yet, there was this unshakeable optimism inside me that I was meant for an extraordinary life. Despite my mental state, I had a lot of knowledge of subliminals and the law of attraction (-_-). These gave me hope, but they weren't enough tbh. I didn't want to attract my dream life through practicing gratitude or becoming a magnet for my desires or whatever. Nor did I want to have to listen to subliminals for years on end to achieve my goals. My list of desires was so long, and I needed everything to change that going step by step and waiting years for each one to manifest just wasn't feasible.
But I refused to give up. One day, after a particularly hard day of being sad per usual, I searched on Quora for something like "fastest most powerful subliminals on YouTube ever" (Y’all 😭😭). Among the recommended sub creators, I found a video called "Desired Life: Reality Shifting". The description promised everything I had ever wanted: waking up with all your desires fulfilled permanently in short. It piqued my curiosity so much. Could I really just wake up with my dream life, family, house, wealth, all based on my scripts and imagination?
Growing up, I was a heavy maladaptive daydreamer. From ages 10-17, I created alternate lives in my head, telling myself I would go there someday. I was always doing SATs (State Akin to Sleep), and I think that's what kept me from ending it all. I was constantly in the wish fulfilled state, even though I didn't know what that was at the time.
Back to my story, I went into the comments of that video and came across a guy who claimed that after a week of using this subliminal, he woke up with a new life as a multi-millionaire living in his dream penthouse. I messaged him, and he gave me his Instagram which showcased his luxurious life. He had what seemed like a perfect relationship, he was very attractive, had so many cars, and travelled 24/7 while having a six figures amount of followers. He was living proof that this wasn't just scripting. Also the law of attraction community is known for their mad expensive coaching.. like hundreds of dollars per hour for questions and he was answering it all for free something I didn’t see the law of attraction community. And I talked to him for hours! He never got mad, he had proof, and he was kind, proof and the behavior of someone who really had mastered the art of life.
After our conversation, I spent the next couple of months doing research. I found numerous stories about glitches in the matrix, accidental shifting, people entering parallel realities, and eventually, shifting communities on platforms like Amino and Reddit. It was stuff I already believed in and did in my imagination; I just didn’t know there was a term for it.
Then I got reminded of a memory that I had seriously repressed bc it was so fucking weird. When I was 6 and my brother was 3, we were absolutely obsessed with dodo birds. One day, we were outside playing, and on god time seemed to stop. Out of nowhere, a dodo bird appeared. I know you’re probably like “maya be so fr rn you were a kid” but no, This wasn't just our young imaginations running wild - there was a bird that was huge, dinosaur-like, exactly how dodos are described in books and pictures we had.
Then things got weirder. Suddenly it started raining eggs. Big, large eggs everywhere it was so gross and my brother and I were a mess. We were young, sure, but not stupid. We knew this wasn't normal. My brother and I rushed inside to tell our dad. When I managed to drag him outside, he was furious, accusing me of throwing eggs everywhere. To this day, he tells the story of the time I "trashed the backyard with eggs." And every time, I'm like, "Dad, where would I get that many eggs?" We didn’t have eggs but so he assumed I stole them and we went inside for hours and it was magically cleaned. So he also tells the story of how responsible I am and how I took accountability for my actions even as a child. I didn’t clean that shit bro and I tell him that too and he just laughs it makes me so mad.
My brother, who knows I'm into reality shifting (though he doesn’t really believe in it), can't explain that day either. He often shrugs it off as a "glitch in the matrix," which honestly, well no duh it is a shift dummie. He does believe in manifesting but only bc he has seen me use it and he experiences the good things I manifest as well. They’re the same thing anyways but that isn’t the point
The reason I'm bringing up this bizarre childhood memory is because during my months of research into shifting, I found countless stories of accidental shifts, people entering the void, entering parallel universes, time glitches, examples of the Mandela effect first hand, glitches in the matrix and etc. It was like uncovering a myriad of experiences that confirmed what I already believed: we can change and choose our reality. I just didn’t know the phenomena had a name. Obviously in the future I came across other things like the law of assumption, the void state, etc etc but this was where it started.
I wish I had saved all those fascinating stories, posts, and blogs. I might go back and compile everything I found because they were so real and enlightening. It will probably take forever tho if I do choose to do that, but I think it's worth sharing.
In the meantime, check out this accounts of accidental shifts that my friend shared with me this account https://instagram.com/tessicavision?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA== based off the Glitch in the Matrix subreddit which is also a goldmine of people experiencing similar phenomena. It helped me make sense of my own experiences and might do the same for you.
I don’t want this to be too long and I already got to the point I think! but regardless stay curious and realize you’re really not that special. I mean ofc you are, i mean this is not some tumblr thing teens girls discovered or created and isn’t even limited to “spiritually/manifesting inclined people” I think at the beginning of my journey people talking about accidental shifts and such, inspired me more than purposeful success stories because they really have no reason to lie and they were looking for answers just like I was.
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AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?
I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.
Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.
aw shit derailed on a tangent again
recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?
S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)
So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.
Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.
Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.
So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄
we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".
Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.
its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about
Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like
_____
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:
okay but we're right
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Serenade of Shadows
I : A Dance of Shadows -> II : Whisper of Deceit -> III : A Symphony of Heartbreak -> IV : Fractured Reflections -> V : Shadows of Allegiance-> VI : Echoes of Decent
Series Masterlist
Young!Coriolanus Snow x Fem!reader
warnings: Arranged marriage, MILD ANGST, unrequited love, friends to enemies, enemies to lovers
Reader's surname : Flare
Time frame: Before, during and after tbosbas
Synopsis : In the events of Panem's political dynamics and the 10th annual Hunger Games, Coriolanus Snow and her find themselves entwined. Standing at the brink of an enforced union, 6 years later, their mutual trust unravels amidst a damaging misinterpretation, prompting Coriolanus to believe the wrong. As the glacial barriers guarding his emotions begin to melt, a revelation of profound feelings unfolds, initiating a sprint against time for redemption.
The Academy bore witness a friendship that would echo through the corridors of time. In the their youth, Coriolanus Snow and her forged bonds that transcended the boundaries of academic pursuits.
Their journey through the Academy was a dance of shared laughter, intellectual banter, and the unspoken friendship that defined their connection. She was a vibrant force of creativity, and Coriolanus Snow was no different.
"Coryo, have you ever wondered what lies beyond these walls? The world beyond our textbooks and exams?"
Snow, his eyes focused on the distant horizon, considered the question.
"The future is a realm of uncertainties, Flare. I prefer to focus on the present."
She persisted, her enthusiasm undiminished. "But what if we could shape our own destinies? Break free from the expectations of the Capitol?"
He regarded her, a hint of curiosity in his gaze. "Our paths are preordained but the Capitol is our life."
Their classes became a sanctuary of shared aspirations and mutual understanding.
As the sun dipped below the Capitol skyline, casting a warm glow across the Academy courtyard, she broached the unspoken realm of their connection.
"do you ever think about us? beyond the expectations placed upon us?"
Snow, caught off guard, allowed a rare smile to grace his stoic features.
"What do you mean ?"
"Forget what I said, the reaping day is coming, do you think they'll announce who's gonna get the Plinth Prize ?"
She knew it must be him who gets the prize. She knew he needed it more than she does.
In those fleeting moments, beneath the shadows of the Academy's pillars, a subtle dance of emotions unfolded.
His face sparked a smile, hoping that it would be himself who got the prize,after all, he wouldn't want his hard work to go into waste.
"I hope so..." he let out a long breath while looking at the smiling girl in her red uniform
Unbeknownst to him, she harbored a sentiment deeper than friendship, a quiet flame that flickered in the recesses of her heart.
Reaping day approached with a sense of urgency, the anticipation hung in the air, threading through the classrooms like an unspoken undercurrent.
One evening, in the dim glow of the Academy library, she dared to tread the delicate ground of vulnerability.
"I would really fail any exam just so you can get the prize, Coryo."
He met her gaze,
"Why would you do that ?"
She gently grabbed his hands
"you're the one who has every reason in this world to get it more than anyone, you're Coriolanus Snow, look at how far we've come, you're gonna be someone amazing in Panem."
His heart stopped beating, confused at how she was reacting. No one believes in him like she did. No one had faith in him like she did.
A gentle smile was plastered across his face,
"you're gonna be an amazing woman as well. Panem is going to look at you one day and be grateful that you are born into this world."
Their final days were a montage of shared dreams and sidelong glances, the unspoken understanding between them growing into something deeper.
Yet, in the delicate dance of emotions, Corio remained oblivious to the blossoming romance that she harbored.
The Reaping Day arrived, casting a pall over the top 24 students of the Academy. She wore a stunning nude colored corset dress, that embraced her curves, featuring sleeves that gracefully hug her arms. The dress emphasized her collarbones, adding an elegant touch. Her hairstyle complements the look with soft waves cascading down her shoulders, framing her face and enhancing the overall sophistication of the ensemble.
Coryo and her sat side by side, hearing the announcement from Dean Highbottom of the obligatory mentorship to the tributes. They sat as names intertwined in the cruel lottery of tributes.
A silent understanding passed between them, a shared acknowledgment of the dangerous journey that awaited. They did not know what they were getting into.
"District 8, boy, y/n Flare"
Her eyes looked over the screen of a boy named Bobbins, hope glimmered across her eyes, only wishing the best for her tribute.
"District 12, girl goes to Coriolanus Snow"
As Lucy Gray Baird is called forth as a tribute during the reaping day, her demeanor contrasts the somber atmosphere. She wore a dress that catches the light, its colors reminiscent of the wild.
Despite the gravity of the moment, the district 12 female tribute's gaze holds a spark of defiance, and her posture exudes a quiet strength. The curls of her hair cascade down, a vivid contrast against the muted tones of the crowd. In that pivotal moment, Flare knew that Lucy Gray stands as a symbol of resilience and individuality.
Snow and Flare locked eyes,
they were saying good luck internally to each other.
Snow and her were determined to make a winner out of their tributes.
She was impressed with how Bobbin managed to captivate the audience by explaining five different ways to kill someone with a sewing needle.
Then, when she was asleep during the night of Day one, unbeknownst to her, Snow had left the academy to the arena on a mission to get his friend Sejanus out.
Coriolanus Snow experiences a tumult of conflicting emotions when he killed Bobbin, Flare's tribute.
The act weighs heavily on him, and a sense of remorse and unease lingers.
Coryo grapples with the harsh reality of the Games and the choices it forces upon him, questioning the morality of his actions. The incident leaves an ineradicable mark on his conscience, he decides never to let this be known.
Especially her.
Her eyes widened, a sudden jolt coursing through her body as fact that her tribute died sank in. Her breath caught, a sharp inhale betraying the shock that gripped her. The world felt suspended, and disbelief etched itself across her face, a mask of astonishment and heart-wrenching realization.
There was no recording of her tribute dying, which is impossible. Bobbin could have not died suddenly.
Someone must've killed him.
Her brows furrowed, caught in the turbulent mixture of emotion. Confusion knit lines across her forehead as she struggled to make sense of the unfolding situation.
Then anger simmered beneath the surface, her eyes flashing with an intensity fueled by frustration and disbelief. It was a storm of conflicting feelings, each wave crashing into the next, leaving her torn between the chaos of confusion and the fiery surge of anger.
The air around her crackled with unresolved emotions, a volatile blend that painted her expression with a mix of perplexity and a smoldering indignation.
She eyed the boy who she had feelings for,
"It's not fair, there's no record of anyone killing him, the broadcast must've been frozen or someone must've sabotaged him" she insisted
With a remorseful gaze, he uttered, "I'm sorry, Flare," his apologetic words weaving through the air, a confession concealed as she remained oblivious to the intricacies of his furtive actions.
Her heavy steps lead her outside the room, a storm of anger in her eyes and a resolute determination fueling every step, driven by a resolute need to unravel the mysteries of what actually happened.
___
"I need to know the truth" She whispered in a hushed tones, slipping a bundle of cash to the shadowy figure.
As she gazed over the surveillance camera, a tidal wave of emotions crashed through her, leaving devastation in its wake.
Sejanus and Coryo running for their lives as Bobbin chased after them. She then witnessed the gruesome murder of her tribute and mentee. The betrayal cut deep, an unseen dagger thrust into the core of her trust. Shock mingled with disbelief, and a profound ache settled in her chest.
The echoes of their shared moments, the laughter, and camaraderie, now tainted by the stain of his actions, echoed through her mind.
Anguish painted her features, and the realization of his betrayal felt like the shattering of something precious. In that moment, innocence crumbled, replaced by a raw, searing pain that marked the end of the girl who once believed in him.
She whispered, "Coriolanus Snow, how could you?"
The elusive figure responded, "Truth has its own price, my dear."
Faced with an intricate choice, even in betrayal, she sought salvation for Coriolanus,
'Protect him, even if it means sacrificing Sejanus.' she said to herself.
The web of deceit tightened, capturing Coryo in the damning revelation despite her desperate gambit to shift the blame to Sejanus.
The clacking sounds of her heels sounded through the hallway as she made her way to Dean Casca Highbottom.
"I have something to report, Mr Highbottom."
As she began unraveling the narrative, detailing Sejanus's involvement, a chilling revelation interrupted her desperate plea.
"You do know that your dear Coriolanus has been involved in cheating." Shock seized her as the revelation unfolded – Coriolanus Snow, the very person she sought to protect, exposed for his deceit.
The weight of betrayal and the magnitude of his cunning unfolded before her eyes. In that moment, she stood frozen, grappling with the stark truth that shattered the illusions she held.
What more did he do ? Who is he becoming ? This isn't the Coryo she knew.
Dean disclosed Snow's cheating endeavors, providing Lucy Gray with a compact powder with rat poison and a handkerchief bearing his father's emblem.
Her efforts to shield Coriolanus crumbled in the face of Snow's deceit.
"You did this because you knew he killed your dear tribute ? Poor little girl, how stupid"
"How did you-"
"Oh I know dear, I know..."
Dean's stern words echoed the futility of her attempts to protect someone who had betrayed not only her trust but the very essence of the Games' integrity.
Then came the turning point, a twist of fate that would cast a long shadow over their friendship.
Dean's voice cut through the tense air like a blade.
___
"What about Lucy Gray ?" Snow worriedly asked
"I would be worried about your own future if I were you" Dean spoke
"Miss Flare, your dear friend, has been quite forthcoming about your involvement."
Snow, unaware of the orchestrated trap, felt the ground beneath him tremble.
"Flare?" he questioned, the word heavy with disbelief.
Dean nodded, his expression a mask of stern authority. His accusatory gaze bore into Snow as he spoke with calculated precision.
"Miss Flare has disclosed your attempt to cheat in the Hunger Games. She provided detailed accounts of your covert actions, betraying not only the trust of your fellow tributes but also the integrity of the Games."
Snow's eyes widened in disbelief, a storm of emotions churning within him. "Flare? She told you about this?"
Dean nodded, maintaining an air of authority. "Yes, Snow. She confessed, hoping to shield you, but the truth has an uncanny way of surfacing."
"Also, she was feeling rather....furious that you killed her tribute"
The revelation left Snow grappling with a profound sense of betrayal, as Flare's desperate gambit to protect him morphed into an unexpected accusation that threatened to shatter his carefully constructed world.
The revelation hung in the air, a sinister turn of events that spun a narrative of betrayal. The trap tightened, ensnaring Snow in a web of deceit orchestrated by the very person he trusted.
Accusations of betrayal surfaced, linking her to covert strategies that backfired in the arena. The Capitol, always hungry for drama, reveled in the narrative of treachery.
Betrayal, however, was a phantom that haunted the shadows of truth. Snow, consumed by the bitterness of perceived betrayal, severed ties with her.
The friendship that weathered the storms of academia crumbled, leaving behind the echoes of what could have been.
Emotions surged through Snow like a tumultuous tide, his initial disbelief morphing into an overwhelming sense of anger.
The disclosure of Flare's admission, initially perceived as a protective act, now felt like an unexpected betrayal.
Dean's words, delivered with meticulous precision, only added fuel to Snow's rising fury. The burden of betrayal pressed heavily on him, as the realization dawned that Flare, in her attempt to shield him, had unintentionally entangled him in her admission.
Snow's eyes glowed with resentment, and an intense anger gripped him, a blazing fire stoked by the unforeseen turn of events, jeopardizing not only his standing but the very core of everything.
---Present Day----
Stuck in the present, their eyes mirroring the weight of untold histories. The grandeur of their wedding day was now tainted by the lingering shadows of a friendship lost.
In the quiet of their shared existence, as the Capitol reveled in the celebration of their union, the dance through time echoed with the poignant melodies of what once was. Snow, bound by duty, and she, she trapped in a loveless union, were left to navigate the intricate steps of a dance that transcended the boundaries of past and present. The grand wedding, a tableau of splendor, concealed the intricate dance of hearts left in the shadows.
taglist : @randomgurl2326
#angst#hunger games#prompts#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#writing prompts#dialogue prompts#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow fic#coriolanus imagine#coriolanus x oc#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow fanfic#coriolanus snow angst#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus x you#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus x lucy gray#coriolanus x sejanus#corio snow#tbosas#tbosbas x reader#tbosbas x you#young coriolanus snow#x reader#x you#thg series#thg fanfiction#the hunger games#the hunger games fanfic
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HAII NYV!! hope ur doing well!!
tbh,, i’ve been thinking. How do you think SSS trio would feel about Dyf!mc going the same path suguru did? (Yk, seeing riko die and going spiraling to the point that she leaves jjt n stuffs,,) Do you think they would try and beg her to stay? Or would they let her go willingly because they’ve always wanted the best for Mc? Also, when they see each other after 11 years, Who sees her first?
tbh ive js been having brain rot of dyf so like…a million AUs are coming to me about it at once LMFAOO. but hope ure doing well, love ur writing xx
tw: yandere
lol why does ur spelling of name perfectly describe how it’s meant to be pronounced
what makes you think you’re even allowed to leave them behind like that? what makes you think you’re even able to leave them so freely?
you won’t survive out there on your own, are you just trying to die quicker? are you just trying to make them suffer just as much as you?
you’re in pain. they know, they know. you’ll get food placed outside your room’s locked door, have all 3 of them talk to you from outside too. sometimes it’s all 3 of them hanging around, sometimes it’s just 2, sometimes it’s just 1.
it’s gojo satoru that has had enough of your slump, kicking your door down with little to no effort as you flinch from shock, hiding under your blankets when you feel the dip of your mattress, and a head landing atop of your cocooned self, letting out a disappointed sigh.
“I didn’t wanna do that, ya know? You’re making things hard.”
it’s only then that he would lay down next to your form, an arm over your waist and spooning you from behind as you start to break down even harder, taking his intrusion and hoarding the comfort he gave you in this moment.
and your door’s been broken so many times you decided to just leave it unlocked… letting him and the others come and go as they please, letting him wrap his long arms around you at every given chance, letting him kiss you on the forehead every morning he gets to spend in school, telling you that he’ll be back from a mission soon.
maybe that was how it started.
“There are no missions for you, (last name).” Yaga’s scratching his head as he flips through his clipboard, carefully scanning the words.
“W-what? Why?” Your arms are shaky as you hug a Baby Panda close to yourself, soft purrs emanating from him as you pet him mindlessly. You’ve been loitering around in the campus for… Close to 3 months now.
“I’m quite confused as well. There haven’t been any curses within your grade level as of recently—“ He pauses as he flips through more papers, eyes narrowing behind dark sunglasses. “There just isn’t—“
“Then m-may I take one above my grade? T-that would put me on grounds for promotion, right?”
“You can, but there aren’t any sorcerers available to invigilate and recommend you for promotion anytime soon. Earliest I could find one is—“ The incessant flipping of papers stop.
“In about 6 months.”
ieiri shoko lets you roam around the school campus, watching you, talking to you, trying to improve your mental health. she prods you to speak your mind, convinces you that the world outside was the one that was going insane, that it wasn’t you that felt trapped, felt cornered in here.
“The campus is where you can be safe from such things. Don’t sweat it.”
and you believe her. why wouldn’t you? she’s your beloved shoko. shoko who teaches you how to do first aid when she notices how lost and listless you’re becoming, who teaches you how to treat wounds, how to stitch up open cuts, how to stop internal bleeding… all just to take up your time. she’s patient with you, holding your hands, letting you take tea breaks with her… it’s peaceful with her. you’re at ease.
so much better than being out on field, right?
geto suguru takes his time with you. he reads your favourite manga with you, asks you about the novels you have been eyeing and wanting to buy, talks about the soba noodles he had on that one trip to nagoya... hell, he’s the one who cooks food for you and helps you clean your room when he thinks you’re getting sloppy.
“Let me do it for you, okay? You’re not looking well enough to do it on your own.”
maybe that was when you thought to yourself that, maybe, just maybe… you didn’t want to leave this place.
though, if you still have some fight in you…
out of all three of them, the one who would most probably fold to your whims and let you leave is suguru. maybe when you go limp in his arms, break down crying into his chest, go quiet when he attempts to feed you…
or maybe it was that decisive kiss under the blankets of darkness, a show of your desperation and longing for something more than this that he starts to crack, starts to break. it’s then that he finally thinks that, maybe, perhaps, he needs to let you go. he’s always been quite the emotional one.
11 years of free roam? more like 11 years of surveillance. it’s not like you were allowed to go with no strings attached, you were still standing on soil that wasn’t Jujutsu Tech ground because they’re the ones who have given you this right.
they’re the ones who let you go have fun, even letting you get a job as a regular salary worker, let you get a quaint little apartment nearby, let you live the life of a regular person.
but no, oh no. you wanted to play hero again when you saw a little girl getting chased, hunted by a curse? wanted to save a life again because that’s what you could do? wanted to do?
And you got hurt from your decisions?
let’s just say you’re in for a bad time.
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Walk of shame
Simon woke up from his slumper and peered to his right
A small body next to him breathing ever so lightly
"Right" he thought
He had a one night stand last night. Never really thought he would be the one to do the walk of shame.
Ghost gathered his clothes in a heaping pile by the girls bed. He picked up his phone
5am
"Fuckin hell" he sighed quietly opening the uber app
"Johnnys never going to let me down on this one" he thought placing a uber.
He quickly gathered the rest of his stuff put his trainers on and headed out the door
He nearly slipped on the ice that formed on the porch of the house. The air was cold, crisp even. Luckily ghost had a medical mask and his hoodie to keep him warm while he waits.
"Cant believe im doing a walk of shame" he muttered to himself
He flipped open his messages to see if anyone texted him when he left with the girl
30 messages
"Fuckin hell" he sighed
1HOE1 bitches (soap and y/n came up with the ridiculously stupid name)
Gaz🦌: yo yall seen ghost?
Y/n👹: he wasnt w me and soap
Foap🧼: last time i check he was flirtin w a cute lass
Y/n👹: bastards probably doing the walk of shame tonight boys 😈
Foap🧼: @ghost
Y/n👹:
Gaz🦌: you are terrible people
Y/n👹: thank you bestie 😚💅🏼
Foap🧼: gon be si when he gets to our place
Y/n👹: 😂😂😂😂
Simon locked his phone sighing once more dreading the conversations that will erupt when he gets to soap and y/n's apartment.
The ride to his car was quiet. Simon decided to get some shut eye before driving back to the apartment.
Driving home was a breeze he had the heat blazing and he had his music set to his and y/n's shared playlist which was a bunch of mellow indie music; good for a quiet ride home.
He pulled into the parking lot and started walking up the stairs when he heard his name being called. "Who the fuck is calling my name?" He thought glancing over his shoulder to see y/n skipping towards him in a giddy mood. It was obvious they where doing a walk of shame as well.
"Have fun?" They asked linking their arms with his
"Could ask you the same" simon replied
Y/n grinned at him he gave a soft chuckle guiding both of them to the apartment
Y/n unlocked the door and saw that the dead bolt was on
"Fucking johnny" y/n said taking one of their sneakers off
"We could just knock" simon said
"Nah i got it" y/n replied unlacing their shoe and taking the shoelace out if it
Y/n quickly wrapped the shoelace around the deadbolt closed the door and pulled really hard with the sound of a click after. Y/n smiled and opened the door
"After you kind sir" they said tipping a imaginary hat
Simon shook his head and headed inside. Gaz was knocked out on the couch. He was curled up in a ball cuddling the small black cat that y/n adopted.
"Awwwww" y/n cooed taking a picture of them "this is going in the new years video." Y/n looked at simon
"hey, yon can sleep in my bed if youd like im gonna pass out in johnnys room plus ive got hot gossip about the person i fucked" they said with a wink then proceeded to trot down to johnnys room and opened the door gently
"Bestie ive got tea get your ass up" they said
Simon heard a loud flop and a groan coming from soap
"Its 6 in tha fuckin mornin y/n let me sleep!" Soap yelled. Y/n closed the door and all simon could hear was the giggling from y/n and soap grumbling from his wake.
Simon let out a sigh and walked to y/n room and proceeded to fall back asleep in their plushie ridden bed. Simon plucked his favorite one and fell asleep cuddling it.
"What a fuckin night" he sighed into the plushy eyes slowly closing drifting off into peaceful slumber
-------------------------------------
Hehe hope yall liked this
Kinda did a walk if shame this morning and made this fic in the uber home lol
#call of duty#cod mw2#modern warfare#simon riley x reader#simon x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon 'ghost' riley#call of dooty#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw2 x reader#cod#cod mwii#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#gaz#john soap mactavish#soap x platonic reader#ghost x platonic reader#soap#soap mactavish#kyle cod#ghost cod#gaz cod#soap cod
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Lost and Found
Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Chapter IV: One Step at a Time
Chapter summary: Searching for a path to your forgiveness, Eren yearns to bridge the gap his absence has left in your and your daughter’s lives, realizing how hard it’s going to be with every step of the way.
Words: 14.2k
Chapter 3
A/N: Yeaaah… it’s not like I’m 6 months late lol. I’m sorry for the long wait. I thought about splitting the chapter into two, but then again, you’ve waited for so long, might as well post the whole thing. I’m so very grateful to everyone who asked me about this story. It means a lot because believe me, it is hard to write such complex relationships, so having you have real interest in it means the world.🥹🫶🏻 hope you enjoy it!!
…..
Eren knew the path to your house by heart.
Even though you lived on the other side of town, he still remembered how he would walk you home everyday, and then walk all the way back to his house. It was your “thing”. He never let you go home by yourself.
But now, as he drove his black BMW, that looked absurd as opposed to the quaint streets of your simple town, he realized he never felt this nervous going to your house before. Even when you were teenagers and he’d spend the entire way thinking of a way to kiss you, it didn’t come even close to how anxious he felt at the moment. Because back then, he had nothing to lose. Now, with everything he held dear hanging in the balance, the weight of his fears bore down on him.
He parked his car beside the fence of your house, that looked exactly the same as it did the first time he walked you home. Light blue, with a little marking at the entrance that was his doing. He remembered how he’d taken a red marker and written yours and his initials on it. It wasn’t big enough for your mom to see, but both of you knew it was there. As he stepped outside, his eyes became glued to it. He wondered if Lily ever noticed and perhaps asked you about it.
He looked at the porch, the one he used to kiss you on, and it transported him right back when you were 16. When seeing you walk out the door and towards his arms was the most important thing in the world. He felt like an idiot for ever thinking there was anything else that could come close to that feeling.
His legs carried him to the front door, the familiar creak of the porch serving as a reminder of all the times he’d stood on this threshold, waiting for you. His heart pounded inside his chest as he lifted his hand to knock on your door. The little person that appeared in front of him was not the one he expected to open it.
Lily peered up at him, her eyes curious as she hid half of her tiny body behind the door, only her head peeking behind it.
“Hey there, Lily.” Eren smiled at her, a little nervous as he looked down at his little copy, “Is your mom home?"
Lily continued to stare up at him, ignoring his question with her own, "Who are you?"
Eren froze in his place. How the hell was he supposed to introduce himself?
He swallowed thickly, but still maintained his smile, “About time I told you my name, huh? It’s Eren. I'm-”
"Are you my mom's new boyfriend?" The little girl looked at him skeptically.
Eren found himself at a loss for words by the straightforwardness of the question. He began to think, trying to come up with a response that would answer her curiosity without delving into the complicated nature of his relationship with you.
“No, I’m not. I’m.. an old friend of hers.” The moment the words were uttered, he felt a surge of frustration run through him. You weren’t just friends who’d lost touch over the years. To reduce everything you’d gone through together to a mere friendship that had just faded away felt like a whole new betrayal. But still, as much as he wanted to, Eren knew he couldn’t tell the beautiful little girl in front of him the truth. Not just yet. “I really need to talk to her. Is she here?”
“Lily, I’ve told you not to open the door-“
You appeared in a flash, and Eren could sense your protective instincts kicking in, like a mama bear ready to defend her cub. You were in your bath robe, which made Eren a bit uncomfortable, appearing on a Sunday and catching you off guard. When your eyes landed on him, they widened, but he had to fight his from going down to your collar bones. Don’t, you asshole.
“Hey.” His voice was low and gentle, but that didn’t stop your frown from appearing. He watched as you instructed Lily to go inside, who sent him a smile before telling him bye.
“Bye, Lily.” Seeing her go inside, he wondered when he’d be able to see her beautiful smile again. Like he always wondered if he’d ever be able to see yours.
“Why are you here?” You brought his attention back to you, sensing the guardedness in your voice. Looking at him like he was your enemy, like he wanted to do you harm. He hated it.
“I’m sorry for showing up like this, but I really need to talk to you.” He had the feeling you’d say no, so his first instinct was to cut you off. “Please, Y/n. Just an hour, whenever you can.”
He could only imagine how you must be feeling right now, put on the spot like that. But Eren had no other choice.
You studied him for a moment, your eyes revealing nothing. Eren’s heart was in his throat. He didn’t know if he should say something, plead with you again, or just remain silent. He decided on the latter, even though it was excruciatingly difficult to withstand your penetrating stare.
“You can’t just keep showing up like this. You know that.”
He did. It felt so wrong to disturb your life like this, but his selfishness was stronger than anything else inside of him.
“I know, I’m sorry.” He did his best to stop his voice from wavering. “I won’t bother you, I promise. Just please consider it.”
It felt like hours going by as he waited for you to say something. His fists clenched and unclenched as he struggled to tear his gaze away from you, his eyes drinking in every detail that had been denied to him for so long. He wanted to memorise your face in case you shut the door in his. Here, right now, in this vulnerable state, with your face untouched by make up, your hair casually gathered into a messy bun, body wrapped in your bathrobe. He watched you instinctively trying to shield yourself from him, a physical barrier reflecting the emotional walls that had been erected between you.
But to Eren, you were more beautiful like this than ever before.
“Fine.” The word rung in the air, and it took a second for Eren to grasp it, “Tomorrow, 2p.m., Daisy cafe. It’s my lunch break, so I won’t have an hour.”
His green eyes almost dilated, his face contorting into a smile. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, barely stopping himself. You were giving him a shot. He couldn’t possibly ask for more. “Yeah, sure, of course. Thank you.”
“Okay, then.” You cast your eyes down at your feet. Eren could sense you weren’t comfortable looking at him. “We have to get going, so..”
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He moved back a bit as if not to intrude your space. “I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Bye.”
A heart beat later, you’d closed the door.
Eren lingered on your porch for a moment longer, basking in the afterglow of your agreement. His heart drummed a rapid rhythm in his chest, the echo of his pure bliss. You were going to talk to him. That glimmer of hope managed to fuel his determination like nothing else. It was euphoric, almost like he was floating. As he slid into his car, the scene replayed in his mind like a movie scene.
As he navigated the familiar streets, his smile was unwavering, a childlike glee etched on his face. The sudden ring of his phone disrupted the serene silence of the car. The device was new, its number known only to his father, which made the incoming call a curiosity. His mind flickered to the luggage he had left behind at the hotel, intended for his old house. The call, he thought, was likely related to that.
The moment he picked up, he regretted it.
“Hello!?”
Shit.
It was Hange. His manager.
How the hell did she get this number?
“It was about damn time, Eren!”
He sighed. He should’ve known they wouldn’t let go of him that easily.
“What do you want, Hange?”
“What do I want? What do I want!?” Her laughter echoed in the car, but it was laced with bitter irony. “Do you have any idea how much time I spent trying to find you? You bailed out on us and left without so much as an explanation!”
“I think I gave enough of an explanation.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot about the “I’m done living this life anymore” crap. Sorry if I didn’t believe you after saying it for the hundredth time without actually doing anything about it.”
“You can believe what you want. The reality is, I’m done.”
A brief silence ensued before she spoke again, her voice unusually grave.
“Eren, are you on drugs again?”
He didn’t know why, but it made him laugh, “Actually, for the first time, I’m as sober as can be.” He took a deep breath before speaking again. He had to end this once and for all. “Hange, I’ve talked to my lawyers. I want out of the contract.”
“You can’t do that, Eren. The contract’s not done for another year!”
“Watch me.”
“Eren, where the hell are yo-“
He ended the call before she could finish her sentence.
He recognised the unfairness of his actions. Hange was a good manager, even though he was sure she’d gone nuts after so many years of dealing with him and his band mates. But if he wanted to get his old life back, he had to leave this one behind. For good.
…..
10 years ago
The last day of school. A day that set you free from the tight grasp of constant homework and irritable teachers. A day that also somehow seemed to amplify the pounding in a certain green eyed boy’s heart as he laid next to you on the lush green grass, the school building mere meters behind you, forgotten for the next three months.
Eren thought tenth grade wasn’t like any other grade before it. It was the most fun he’d ever had at school, and the strange thing was, he didn’t even get into that much trouble. Well, if he really got to think about it, he knew there was a reason behind his change. Ever since that rainy day you opened up to each other for the first time, you’d become inseparable. It was so weird - one day, you didn’t even know that much about each other, then the next - he was walking you home and telling you about his dreams. You did, too. About life and your fears and your hopes. Late night conversations had become a regular occurrence, sharing every little thought, like and dislike with each other. And the best thing was, there was no judgement. It was a safe space between you two, a time when the world faded into the background and it was just you and him, baring your souls to one another. There were nights when the topics were deep and introspective, delving into the complexities of life and the future. Others, the conversations were light-hearted and filled with laughter, going into the early hours of the morning.
Sitting together in class, at lunch, and even after school became the norm for both of you. It was as if you were two pieces of a puzzle, blending seamlessly into each other’s lives. Eren found himself looking forward to each day, eager to see your smile and hear your voice. Your presence brought him a sense of comfort and happiness that he had never experienced before. He admired your strength and your ability to see the beauty in even the smallest things. Your passion for life ignited a fire within him, inspiring him to write about subjects he had never thought of before, like.. love.
Eren couldn't deny the growing feelings he had for you, feelings that went beyond friendship. He found himself captivated by your every word, your every smile, and your every touch. The way his heart raced whenever you were near was a clear indication that his emotions had transformed into something deeper. And, as dense as he seemed, he couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in your interactions as well. The lingering gazes, the gentle brushes of hands, and the way your laughter seemed to fill the air with an extra sparkle whenever he was around.
But, as much as Eren thought he knew what was hidden behind your actions, he couldn't shake the uncertainty that clouded his mind. He questioned whether you actually felt the same way, whether his heart's desires were reciprocated. The fear of jeopardizing the beautiful connection you shared kept him from confessing his feelings outright.
Yet, the last day of school marked a turning point, a moment when Eren decided to seize the opportunity that the summer break presented. He couldn't bear the thought of spending one more day in the dark, hiding his feelings from you without knowing if there was a chance for something more to happen.
As you both laid next to each other, Eren's heart beat like it never had before. He mustered the courage to take your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through his veins, reassuring him that he was on the right path.
With a trembling voice, he turned to you, his heart on his sleeve. "I've been wanting to tell you something," he waited for you to look at him before he continued, trying not to get lost in the pretty hue of your eyes. "This past year with you has been the best time of my life. You've become my best friend and.. so much more.” His mind repeated that he should turn his face away from yours, or else he might burst into flames. Nonetheless, the grip he had on your hand tightened. Go on, you idiot.
“But Y/n, I.. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
At that, your eyebrows arched, mouth falling slightly agape in confusion. That’s when you really noticed the redness of his cheeks, the vulnerability in his eyes. It was a look you hadn’t seen on his face before.
"Truth is.. I'm in love with you.” There it was, out in the open. He’d done it. There was no turning back now.
Watching your eyes go wide brought him a kind of anxiety his heart couldn’t handle. His hands had been sweating for the past 5 minutes, and he prayed to god you hadn’t noticed. And if he could get a glimpse of what was inside your mind, he’d realise that indeed, you hadn’t noticed, because there was nothing else that could get your attention except for his confession that was heavily hanging in the air.
Your mind replayed the word what, what, what, over and over again, and you thought about pinching yourself to be absolutely sure this was happening. He was in love with you. Eren just confessed he was in love with you. The boy you’d spent ninety percent of your time with, who’d become your best friend, confidant, shoulder to cry on when your dad forgot to call you on your birthday, who’d made you laugh until you had tears prickling your eyes, who’d walked you home every single day after school even though he didn’t have to, who’d given you his lunch when you didn’t bring one yourself. That Eren. YourEren.
The silence had gone on for too long. The green eyed boy felt the need to fill it, hoping he didn’t screw things up beyond repair.
“But I want you to know I understand if you don't feel the same way. Our friendship means a lot to me, and I don't want to jeopardize that."
You blinked a few times at him, your mind racing, trying to comprehend all the emotions swirling within you. You had to say something, even though your breath was caught in your lungs.
“I..”, you began, unsure of where to go. It was your first experience with.. situations like this. And if the person lying beside you was any other boy, it probably would’ve been a lot easier. But this was him. And because of how much he meant to you, it was scarier than you could’ve imagined.
But even though you were scared, you were also thrilled. Because, the fact of the matter was, you were head over heels for this boy.
“Can I tell you something too?” You asked quietly, eyes unconsciously focused on his lips.
“Of course.”
You didn’t even realise when it was you’d leaned in. But you did. With your lips gently caressing his, for the briefest moment. Then back you were, staring once again at those plump, soft lips you’d just kissed.
Eren’s mind struggled to catch up with what just happened, his stare going back and forth between your cherry lips and pretty eyes. The fact that you initiated this kiss, your first kiss, meant that he wasn’t wrong, that there really was something more between you. It was a validation he had desperately hoped for but never expected to receive.
With great effort, he steadied his breathing and met your gaze, bringing his hand to gently cup your cheek. His touch was tender, timid, but filled with warmth and affection.
"I... didn't expect that," Eren stammered, his voice soft and low. "But,” he gulped, eyes traveling down to your cupid’s bow, “I liked it. I really liked it."
Your cheeks flushed pink, a shy smile tugging at your lips. You turned to your side, facing him fully, and placing your own hand on top of his.
“I’m glad.” You whispered, “because… I’ve been falling for you too.”
You could almost feel the relief of his exhale, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Then a gentle smile, the same one you’d been falling for for the past year, adorned his face. “You have?”
You nodded. “How could I not? Eren, I’ve never thought someone could be so amazing to me.” You leaned in even closer, “I was just scared to admit it because I didn’t want to ruin anything. I was scared there was a chance it was all in my head.”
“Oh, believe me,” Eren rested his forehead against yours, “it’s real. It’s been real for a while now.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, with tiny little butterflies flying around in your stomach and filling your chest with warmth. You couldn’t remember if you’d ever been this happy.
“It was the same with me.” He continued while gently stroking your cheek. “You’ve become such an important part of my life,” the most important, he thought, “that I was terrified I’d screw it all up if I confessed. But trust me, it was freaking torture wondering if you felt the same way. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you if you didn’t.”
You shook your head, “You could never lose me, Eren. Even if that was the case, which obviously isn’t, I would’ve still been your friend. I’ll always be there for you.”
Eren’s eyes softened. You truly were amazing. “And I’ll always be there for you.”
You stayed like that for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes, losing yourselves in them. And then, Eren decided to spontaneously lay a quick kiss on your nose. A spark of joy ignited within you, with your laughter bubbling up, filling the air with its infectious sound.
Eren’s eyes twinkled with delight, “That’s my favourite sound.”
“You always know how to pull it out of me. Even when I don’t want to.”
The moment the sentence was over, Eren couldn’t wait any longer. His hands gently cradled your face, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. Then he quickly caught your lips in a soft, but passionate kiss, one that was filled with longing, a testament of how long he’d waited to do this. It took every last breath you had. When the kiss ended, you stayed close, your noses barely brushing against each other.
“I’ll make sure you always do.”
…..
Today
4:30. That was what the clock showed when he woke up with tears in his eyes.
He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the dampness of his skin. Just when he thought he finally got used to it. The painful reminder that even when he was asleep, the ache of missing you still lingered, refusing to fade away.
The memories, so many of them turned dreams, ones that haunted him every night or so, were as real as he could remember. Your face was still as pretty, but your eyes were brighter then. In his dreams, he saw those eyes and the way they sparkled whenever he would gaze at them.
In those dreams, he could almost feel the warmth of your touch, the tenderness of your embrace. They were bittersweet, bringing temporary solace among the daily torment. A cruel reminder of what he had lost, yet they also offered a fleeting respite from the harsh reality of your absence.
But then he remembered. In a couple of hours, he would see you. His sleepy mind had forgotten to remind him of that, that it wasn’t all lost. That even though he wouldn’t get to hug or kiss you, at least he’d get to see you. Hear your voice. He wasn’t a 1000 kilometres away from you anymore, just a few streets.
He sat up in his bed, his dream still fresh in front of his eyes. He leaned against the cupboard and looked up at the ceiling. Did you, too, have dreams like this? He wondered if there were nights where you’d woken up with tears brimming eyes, searching for him while he was god knows where. It tugged at his heart, his fists clenching. He was sure nights like this were a regular occurrence for you after he left. And while you were pregnant..
He slammed his fist into the mattress and closed his eyes shut. He should’ve been there to wipe them, kiss them away, to help you, to love you. But he wasn’t.
“One step at a time, Eren.” His whisper echoed through the room. He had to talk himself out of the self-loathing, out of the guilt that was threatening to consume him if he took one wrong step. He had to believe things could get better.
He got up from his bed and walked to the window, pulling the curtains aside. The city was still asleep, the street lights casting a soft glow on the quiet roads. He took a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs. He knew it was futile to try and fall asleep again, so instead, his mind began racing with all the possible outcomes of your impending conversation. His heart pounded in his chest as he thought about the words he would say, the apologies he would make. Would you accept them? Would you believe that he was sincere? Or would you turn him away, the pain of his absence still too fresh? He didn’t know any of these things except one that was for sure. He had a long day ahead of him.
…..
“Rise and shine, mama!” A certain cheerful voice rang in your ear. You opened your eyes to see your little girl jumping on your bed, her hair a mess, eyes wide and sparkling, like they always were. You smiled at her, pulling her instantly into a warm embrace.
“Good morning sweetheart,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Lily giggled, wrapping her small hands around your neck, “did you sleep okay?”
“Mhmm,” she nodded her head a couple of times, “I dreamt I was a princess and I had a whole castle allll for myself!”
Your laughter filled the air, “Well, that’s not far from the truth.” You scooped her up into your arms and got out of bed, making your way to her room.
“Tell you what, you make your bed and brush your teeth and I’ll make you some special princess pancakes, okay?”
When you let her down, she rose her tiny thumb up, her face determined, and you had to put your palm in front of your mouth to keep your chuckle in. She was just too cute.
“I want them pink!”
“You got it!”
You turned on your heel, trying to remember where you put the pink food coloring with strawberry flavor you bought for her. You prepared the batter, now being an expert at making quick breakfasts, all the while smiling at your daughter’s excitement. Life was just fuller with her in it.
Lily, having diligently made her bed and brushed her teeth, came running to your side, her eyes fixated on the bowl of pink batter. She bounced on her toes, "Mama, they're going to be the prettiest pancakes ever!"
“They just might.” You gave her a wink and a playful nudge, “But only if her majesty helped me mix the batter.”
Her face lit up at the prospect of helping you, and she eagerly grabbed the wooden spoon you offered her. You held the bowl steady as she stirred, her tongue poking out in concentration.
"Good job, your highness," you praised, ruffling her hair. "Now, let's get these pancakes cooking."
As the pancakes sizzled on the pan, filling the kitchen with a delicious aroma, you took a quick detour to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. When you returned, your heart swelled at the sight before you. There was Lily, perched precariously on a kitchen chair, carefully flipping the pancakes with a look of intense concentration on her face.
You really are growing up so fast, you thought. It was a thought that filled you with a profound sense of awe and a hint of melancholy. Your little girl was blossoming before your eyes, and while it was a beautiful sight, it was also a poignant reminder of how fleeting these moments truly were.
As you sat at the table, your attention focused on Lily, her excitement about starting school next week bubbling over in a stream of endless chatter while she ate her pink pancakes, your eyes filled with nothing but love for her. Until you unconsciously glanced to your right, at the chair that remained perpetually empty, and it stirred a pang in your heart. It was a void that has existed ever since she came into your world.
Despite her cheerful demeanor, you knew she was aware that things weren't quite as they should be. You saw it in the wistful look that crossed her face when she saw a child perched high on their father's shoulders. It was there in the longing in her eyes when she watched movies featuring families gathered around the dinner table, laughing and sharing their day. And it was painfully evident in the park, when she'd watch a mother and father swinging their child between them, their laughter echoing in the air.
Yes, your daughter was a happy child, full of life and joy. But there was a part of her world that was incomplete, a piece of the puzzle missing.
What should I do?
It was a question nobody could give an answer to except you. Confusion settled inside your mind like a heavy fog, and you found yourself grappling with a myriad of emotions. But then again, Eren had that kind of effect.
Just talk to him, you repeated to yourself, the words becoming a mantra that guided your resolve. You knew deep down that having a conversation with him was necessary, for your daughter’s sake at least. After all, you had faced and overcome numerous challenges in your life, and this was just another hurdle to navigate. Facing it was the only way to move forward.
One step at a time.
…..
With his third cup of coffee for the day clutched tightly in his hand, Eren couldn't help but notice the slight tremor that had begun to take hold. Perhaps it was the caffeine, or maybe it was the fact that in half an hour, he’d be meeting you. He strolled past the town's library, one hand buried deep in his pocket, the other cradling the diminutive cup of warmth. He observed the streets with an almost alien curiosity, taking in the sights as if for the first time.
This was his first venture into town, a decision his mind tried to dissuade him from, haunted by the prospect of getting recognised and the inevitable gossip that would follow. But he yearned for a taste of normalcy, a fleeting moment of being just another face in the crowd, despite his life being anything but ordinary. So, he ditched his car, and sauntered along the familiar, yet strangely new streets.
Eren was riddled with nerves at the prospect of talking to you, yet when he allowed himself to truly contemplate it, he realized his anticipation outweighed his anxiety. This was it, the moment he’d been waiting for, finally taking place. There was no room for screw ups.
But then again, as much as he pondered on it, he wasn’t quite sure what kind of apology would soften the sternness in your eyes every time you looked at him. I’m sorry for leaving for 7 years and making you gather the pieces.. no, that wasn’t it. I’m the biggest scumbag on the face of the earth. That seemed more fitting.
His thoughts then wandered to Lily. What was she doing at this moment? Did she enjoy drawing? Had she mastered riding a bike? Did she have a favourite sport? A favourite toy? Food? Movie?
He desperately wanted to know the answers to those questions, but he also feared the disappointment that might come with them. He had missed out on so much of her life, and he knew he could never make up for lost time. She looked like such a joyful kid, too.. The last thing he wanted was to screw that up.
The weight of his thoughts and the ticking clock in his mind seemed to drag his steps, making the short distance to your meeting place feel like a marathon. He was seconds from facing the music, facing you, facing the last 7 years.
The bell above the cafe door jingled as he pushed the open, the familiar sound sending a rush of nostalgia through him. This was a place you used to come after school along with your friends, a sanctuary for playing cards, laughing, making plans, escaping the world. Now, it sort of felt like a battleground, the setting for a confrontation that was years in the making.
He scanned the room, wondering if you’d showed up even though he was 20 minutes early, his heart pounding. Then one last glance at the far end table and there you were, sitting in a corner, your hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. When your eyes met his, he could see the wariness in them, the hardened resolve. You looked like you were prepared for this, for whatever he had to say.
He walked over to your table, his steps slow and measured. People were talking around him but it was like he couldn’t hear anything, like everything was silent. The only thing he actually could hear was the rapid beating of his heart as he reached the table and took the seat across from you. His hands trembled slightly as he placed them on the table.
“I thought I was going to be early.” He said, an anxious smile crossing his lips.
“I wanted to get it over with.” The truth was, you didn’t mean to sound so rude. Maybe it was the nerves, but you didn’t intend for your words to be laced with so much iciness. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, I get it.” He interjected, trying to sound unaffected, even though your words were like needles to his heart. “Thank you again. For meeting me.”
You nodded once, realizing how hard it was going to be to look him in the eyes. Breathe, your mind repeated. Just breathe. “I meant to ask yesterday. What’s wrong with your eye?”
Shit, he thought. He’d bought concealer yesterday to cover it, but your question meant he didn’t do a good job. No point in lying. “Met Jean the other day. I guess he didn’t miss me much.”
You looked down at your coffee mug, shaking your head. This was just too typical of them. “So.. what did you want to talk about?”
That I miss you so fucking much.
But he couldn’t say that. So, the next most important thing was, “I’m sorry.” He looked you straight in the eyes. “I’m deeply sorry for everything I’ve done to you-“
“I don’t need your apologies, Eren.” You stopped him in his tracks, causing his eyes to widen, “Really, just- don’t.” Your tone suggested no further arguing about it. Eren couldn’t decide which hurt more - the numbness in your voice or the disappointment in your eyes.
“Just tell me what you want.”
As much as it pained him, Eren knew this would most probably be the outcome. He expected his apologies to fall on deaf ears, even though he so desperately wanted, needed, to convince you how sorry he was. But he also needed to thread carefully.
“I.. know this is going to be too sudden for you,” he began, his eyes settled on a tiny drop of coffee on the wooden table, too overwhelmed to look at your face, “but the reason I wanted to talk is because,” spit it out, Eren, “I want to be a part of Lily’s life.”
Silence. Not a word, not a breath. Nothing.
When Eren looked up to catch your expression, he saw a medley of emotions on your face. Surprise, confusion.. maybe even a hint of anger. You took a moment to process his words, that felt like forever to the man sitting in front of you.
“I’m- I’m going to live here from now on, and I want to help you with whatever I can.” He added, trying to convey his sincerity.
You continued to stare at him, your features becoming unreadable. A deep sigh escaped your lips, and you craned your neck to look up at the ceiling. Then you moved your eyes towards him, gripping your cup tightly, “Eren.. Lily has a stable life. I can’t risk you ruining that. I’m sorry.”
The finality of your words made Eren’s heart sink to his stomach. But one thing about him was, he wasn’t giving up without a fight. “Okay, I deserve that. But.. are we just going to pretend like we don’t know each other? Are we going to just pass each other by?”
He struck a nerve.
“You pretended like I never existed and left. So, you tell me.”
Your words hit him like a punch in the gut. One that was long overdue.
“Y/n.. I can’t express to you how much I regret everything that happened back then. And even though you probably won’t believe it, if I had known about Lily, I-“
“So you needed to know about her so you could acknowledge me? Is that it?”
You had a counter for everything he said, and his words only further fuelled the slowly-bubbling anger within you. All the hurt, the betrayal, everything you had felt for so long was resurfacing, even though internally you were fighting to stop it. With much effort, you decided to try and collect yourself. You weren’t going to let him see you lash out.
“Eren, look.. I can’t let her be near a person who can walk away from his responsibilities with the snap of his fingers. This is my daughter and I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“She’s my daughter, too.” The words left a burning feeling in his throat, because he knew he shouldn’t have said that.
“I’m sorry?” The disbelief in your voice was palpable. His daughter? He wanted to be responsible all of a sudden?
“Look, if- if you don’t want me to spend time with her, I won’t put pressure on it. Just let me help with things. I can give you money, I can support you-“
“Money? You think we need your money?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, then quickly gathered your jacket, getting ready to leave. “This is ridiculous.”
“No, wait, please.” Eren reached out, grabbing you by the hand. The contact made you jolt, freezing in place. When you looked up, you were met by his desperate eyes. You stared at them, at the two green orbs he shared with you daughter, and you hated how for the slightest moment, you actually felt bad for him.
“I didn’t meant to sound so forward, I just.. I don’t know how to approach this.”
After a long silence, you pulled your hand away, not harshly, but firmly, and sat back into your seat. “Well, let me help you then. Just don’t approach it at all. Leave it be. It’s been years, and maybe things should be left alone as they are.”
Eren’s face fell. He should’ve expected that, but it still hurt more than he anticipated.
“Y/n, you can’t ask that of me.”
Your hands were shaking. You thought you were ready for this, but now that it was actually happening, you weren’t so sure anymore.
“Okay. What do I tell her? Hm? Hey, baby. I know you’ve always wondered who your dad is, and I know you haven’t ever met him, but the other day we bumped into him at the store, and now he wants us to be one big, happy family. Does that sound good?”
Eren winced at your words, the harsh reality of the situation hitting him like a truck. It was like he was in a maze that he was desperately trying to find the right path to, but that always ended in failure.
“You don’t get it, do you? You’re going to stir up her life. I can’t let you do that.”
“I know it’ll be hard.” He began quietly, “I also know it’s not fair to put all that pressure on you. The last thing I want is to make your lives harder. I want the opposite.”
“Good. Then it’s better if you stay away.” You were talking to hurt him now, and you knew it. “Anyway, you say you’re going to live here from now on. Why? How is your celebrity life going to fit in a small place like this?”
His answer was instantaneous, “I’m done with all that.”
A few moments were needed for you to process his words. “Oh. Oh, okay. You’re done with it. And now you think you can just causally stroll back in here like the last years didn’t happen?”
“No, I- listen, it’s not like that-“
“Then how is it, Eren?“
You noticed a few heads turning towards your table, realizing you’d been raising your voice. It was clear that emotions were running high for both of you, and you were aware that wouldn’t amount to anything good. Eren was hunched forward on the table, almost like a little kid seeking some kind of comfort.
“I couldn’t live like that anymore. I needed to come home.” His voice was so low, you barely heard it. Then he rose his head up, his eyes pleading, begging for you to believe him, “I swear, it’s been like that for a while. It’s just- it’s not that easy to get away from it. I did, though. It’s over.”
You leaned your head on your hands, and closed your eyes shut. Thousands of emotions threatened to swallow you whole. You took in everything he said and tried to make sense of it. But how do you trust someone who left you like you meant nothing and never looked back? You couldn’t let that happen to Lily. You’d rather anything else than letting someone hurt her that way.
“How do I know that you won’t go on tour and not come back for the next 7 years?”
“If I do that, you can always send Jean or my dad my way. I bet they’ll be real happy to put an end to me.”
“You think this is funny?”
Eren shook his head. “I am done. I was miserable leading that life. It’s over, Y/n. Truly.”
Silence enveloped the space between you and Eren as he could see the confusion etched on your face. A fraction of him held onto the hope that there was the tiniest chance you were considering giving him a shot.
“I just want to get to know her. That’s all I want.” He added, searching for your eyes that were settled on your coffee cup. “It’ll all be on your terms. Whatever you say, that’s what’s going to happen.”
Still silent, you lifted your gaze to meet Eren’s eyes. Oh, how you wanted to believe him. How you wanted to be sure that this man in front of you was someone you could trust with the most precious thing in your life. How you wanted to see the change behind his desperate eyes.
“What do you think?” He probed, his heart on the verge of exploding.
“I don’t know.” Your voice wavered, “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.”
Then, you saw it. It was like transporting back in time. A glimpse of the boy you fell in love with all those years ago, sitting in front of you, ready to do whatever it took to make it right. It was the look in his eyes, the determination, that almost caught you off guard.
You swallowed thickly, it all becoming too much, “I have to get back to work.”
Quickly, you rose up from your seat, and began rummaging through your purse in search for your wallet.
“No, please, let me.” Eren stood up, reaching to stop you.
You avoided his touch like it would burn you. “I can take care of myself.” You threw some money on the table without counting, wanting to leave before the tears started spilling.
Eren watched helplessly, a storm inside him, one that couldn’t let him decide what to do. Trying to think under the pressure of you leaving, he reached out inside his pocket and gathered a small piece of paper.
“This is my new number.” He held it out to you. “Please, just promise me you’ll consider it.”
His hand hovered in the air between you as you hesitated. You were conflicted, but in the end, you decided to take it. Even if you didn’t call him, leaving him here completely hopeless wasn’t like you. At the end of the day, if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t have had Lily. Despite all the hurt and confusion that lingered between the two of you, you couldn't deny the impact he had on your life.
With a heavy sigh, you nodded at Eren, taking the tiny piece of paper in your hand.
Eren's eyes softened, a glimmer of hope shining through his inner storm. In a moments time you were out the door, leaving only the sound of the ringing bell behind you. He stared at your reflection through the window, every inch of his body wanting to chase after you, but his mind knew he shouldn’t. It was all in your hands now. Taking his number indicated a crack in the door, a silver of possibility, but he knew that the slightest pressure could slam the door shut again. So, he just stood still. Helplessness was his only companion for the moment.
…..
Summer, 10 years ago
You’d never actually gone to Eren’s house before. You’d only been to his backyard, having sneaked out one night and stargazed on the grass Mr. Jaeger had freshly moaned, where Eren intertwined your fingers for the first time. You’d spent an hour looking at the stars and thinking of goofy names for the constellations you could barely recognize, giggling every time one of you came up with something particularly silly. He then took you home on his bike, and helped you up the flower ladder that led to your room. If only you’d known how much he wanted to kiss you, even then.
What had changed between then and now was that he had confessed his love for you, which had given you the courage to do the same.
That day, he kissed you on your porch after taking you home like he usually did. It was a long, soft kiss, with his hands cradling your face, a kiss that made your knees wobble and your breath hitch in your throat. You fell asleep thinking about it, about all of it. There was this euphoria that wouldn’t let your smile fade, nor your mind rest. You woke up the next day to a text from him.
Eren💚
“Good morning, beautiful.”
You couldn’t stop your grin from spreading across your face. You pressed your phone against your chest, sighing with content. As you laid there, the morning light filtering through your curtains, you felt a warmth that wasn't just from the sun's rays. It was the warmth of him thinking about you at 8a.m. You typed a response, your fingers dancing across the screen with the same lightness that filled your heart.
“Good morning..❤️ did you sleep okay?”
You hit send, and almost immediately, the little dots that signaled Eren was typing appeared. The anticipation bubbled inside you, a pleasant fizz of excitement that made you sit up in bed, clutching the phone even tighter.
Eren💚
“Didn’t sleep much tbh. Couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.”
You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest at his words. You wanted to say so much, to tell him that he had been in your dreams all night, that the thought of him made the morning seem brighter, but you settled for a response that conveyed your feelings without overwhelming him.
“Me too.. It was the best day I’ve had in a long time.”
You were restless to see his response, watching the screen in anticipation, the seconds of him typing passing like hours in your mind.
Eren💚
“It was the best day I’ve ever had.”
Your heart skipped a beat. Best day he’s ever had. You wanted to write that too but didn’t want to appear too forward. Turns out he was braver than you, which wasn’t a shocker at all.
Eren💚
“I really want to see you. Take you for breakfast?”
Was this how things were going to be from now on? Were you going to be so giddy and excited every time he messaged you? The thought made you smile even wider, and you couldn't type your response fast enough.
“I’d love that. What time should I be ready?”
Then, your phone rang. It was him. Your heart was beating faster than it ever had before. You had to repeat to yourself that this was still your best friend, the boy you’d shared your deepest thoughts and dreams with. But now.. he was something more, and that change seemed to turn you into a person you’d never thought you’d become. That made you nervous but also.. so, so happy.
You quickly picked up, voice timid but filled with warmth, “Hey.”
“Hello, pretty girl.” He was going to be the end of you with those nicknames. “Could you look outside your window for me?”
You blinked a few times, taking you a second to comprehend what he was saying before you jumped out of your bed and ran to your window. There, on the street below, was Eren. He was leaning against his bicycle, phone to his ear, and looking up at your window with that familiar, heart-melting grin.
You couldn't help but laugh, surprise and delight bubbling up inside you. "Eren! What are you doing here so early?" you asked, still holding the phone to your ear, though you were now speaking to him both through the window and the call.
"I wanted to surprise you," he said, his voice coming through the phone and faintly from the street below. "How about we start with that breakfast I mentioned? I couldn't wait until lunch."
Your heart did a somersault. "Give me five minutes!" you exclaimed, already thinking about what you could throw on quickly. You didn't want to keep him waiting.
"Take your time. I'll be right here," he replied, his tone patient and kind.
You ended the call, a smile plastered on your face as you hurried to get ready. You brushed your hair, found your favorite comfortable jeans and a t-shirt, and grabbed a light jacket. After a quick glance in the mirror, you dashed downstairs, your heart pounding with the anticipation of the day ahead. Your mother was in the kitchen, and you faintly heard her ask you where you were going so early.
“Eren and I are having breakfast!” You replied before you opened the front door. When he saw you, Eren pushed off from his bike and walked towards your front door. His eyes were bright, and the morning sun gave his hair a golden hue. "Good morning, for real this time," he said, his voice warm and inviting. He looked so.. ugh, he was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. He was wearing a pastel green shirt that made his eyes pop, and his smile was infectious as ever.
“Good morning..” you sounded shyer than you intended, but that seemed to steal another grin from Eren’s handsome face.
“You’re so cute.” He caught your face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on your lips. Your cheeks immediately flushed, and to your dismay, Eren noticed instantly, letting out a loud chuckle. “Are you blushing?”
You looked down at your feet, then hid your head in the crook of his neck. “Shut up..”
Eren laughed again, then brought you back to look him in the eyes, “Y/n, it’s still me, you know.”
“I know that!” You exclaimed, “it’s just.. I’m not used to this yet.”
Eren crooked an eyebrow, trying to hide his smile. “Mhm. You seemed to get used to it pretty quickly yesterday.”
“Oh, shush!” You wrapped your arms around him, and you felt his lips press against your hair.
“We should get going if we want to beat the breakfast rush.”
…..
Daisy’s cafe was as full as you’d expect for a Saturday morning. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of light chatter filled the air, welcoming you into its embrace. You found a small table near the window, the perfect spot to enjoy the morning sun. Eren ordered your favorite chocolate chip pancakes without even asking you, the gesture making your heart full. When they came along with the other things you’d ordered, the green-eyed boy watched with an amused expression as you drizzled syrup over the stack, the rich, sweet aroma mingling with the coffee's robust scent.
And then, without any warning, “My mom wants to meet you.”
You almost choked on your first bite. This was unexpected to say the least. Not because of anything else, but because you’d never met his mom before, and you knew about her.. condition. Eren had confided in you about her declining health, but conversations about it were rare, his discomfort in discussing it understandable.
Eren's expression softened, and he reached across the table to take your hand. "Yeah, she's been asking about you," he said gently. "She knows how much you mean to me, and she's been wanting to meet the girl who's captured her son's heart."
Your heart swelled, then you took his hand in yours as well. "Of course, I'd love to meet her," you replied, your voice steady despite the nerves that suddenly fluttered in your stomach. "Whenever you think it's the right time."
“I think it would mean a lot to her, and to me. My dad would be stoked to meet you, too."
You nodded, smiling. The thought of meeting his parents, his mom, especially given her health, felt like a big step.
“We could go today, actually. After breakfast, if that’s okay with you.”
The invitation caught you off guard, but you saw the earnestness in Eren's eyes. This was important to him, and therefore, it was important to you as well.
"Today?" you echoed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze back. The suddenness of the plan made you nervous, but the idea of putting it off didn't feel right either. "Yes, of course. I want to meet them too."
Eren's face lit up with relief. "Great!", he said, his voice filled with excitement that made you happy. "I was talking about you all night yesterday. They’re already in love with you.”
He’d been talking about you. You wanted to jump into his arms right this second. “I hope I live up to their expectations.”
He laughed softly, the sound easing the tension that had built up at the thought of the meeting. "You will. They're going to see what I see in you."
You finished your breakfast, chatting about little things to ease the nerves. Eren told you a bit more about his parents, his childhood memories, and what you might expect. It was comforting to hear him talk so fondly of his family, and it made you even more eager to meet them.
“But Eren, I need to change! I want to look more presentable-“
He reached across the table to put his finger in front of your mouth.
“You’re perfect, okay?”
It was just like him to reassure you in such a direct and heartfelt way. You smiled against his finger, and he reciprocated it.
“Okay, I trust you.”
After breakfast, you hopped on his bicycle, your arms circling his stomach, that was as hard as a rock, and he took off down the street. The ride was relaxing, your head resting against his back, eyes closed, letting yourself feel the summer breeze. As you held onto him, you could feel the muscles in his abdomen flex with each pedal stroke. The air was fresh and crisp, and the gentle rush of the wind against your face was invigorating.
The streets were familiar, yet they seemed different from this perspective, the perspective of your newfound relationship. Everything was more alive and vibrant. You watched as the neighborhood passed by, children playing on the sidewalks, dogs barking in the yards, and the everyday life of the community unfolding around you.
Then, you remembered. The flower farm you worked at was just a few blocks away from Eren’s house, and an idea formed in your mind.
“Hey, stop there.”
Eren glanced over his shoulder, following your gaze to the flower farm. He slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road, coming to a stop. "Here?"
You nodded, dismounting from the bicycle. "Yes, I just thought... maybe I could bring a bouquet for your mom. It's the least I can do, considering she's inviting me into her home."
"That's a really sweet idea," Eren said, his eyes softening. It was moments like this that cemented in his mind why he’d fallen so hard for you. You were just so kind, so thoughtful.. beautiful inside and out. “I’ll wait for you here.”
You quickly made your way into the flower farm, greeted by the familiar scents and colors that always brought you comfort. You selected a few of your favorite blooms, arranging them into a bouquet with care and attention. The colors were vibrant, and you hoped they would bring a smile to Eren's mother's face.
Returning to where Eren waited, you showed him the bouquet. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful," he said, genuinely impressed. "She's going to love it."
As you approached his parents' house, your heart began to beat a little faster, but you tried to remain calm. When you came to a stop, Eren helped you off the bicycle, his hands steady and warm. You took a moment to compose yourself, smoothing out your clothes and running your fingers through your hair to tame it from the ride.
"Ready?" Eren asked, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.
You nodded, feeling a surge of courage. "Ready.”
Eren led you up the path to the front door, and before he could ring the bell, he looked at you one last time. "Hey," he said, his eyes searching yours. "No matter what, I'm here, okay? And they're going to love you. I know it."
You nodded, squeezing his arm. He rang the bell, and within moments, the door swung open to reveal his mom. Carla Jaeger. The resemblance between mother and son was striking; Eren had inherited her whole face, her eyes and the same kind expression that made you feel instantly at ease.
She gasped when she saw the two of you, and her eyes shone like two beautiful jewels.
“Oh wow. Eren, you didn’t tell me she was that pretty!”
The compliment sent a rush of color to your cheeks, and without thinking, you found yourself drawing closer to Eren, seeking a subtle comfort in his presence. His arm, strong and reassuring, seemed to naturally wrap around you, as if to silently say, 'I've got you.'
“Mom, this is Y/n.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, mrs. Jaeger.” You extended your hand for a handshake, and she took it instantly, holding it with her two frail hands. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she stepped aside to let you both in. "Please, call me Carla," she insisted warmly. "Mrs. Jaeger makes me sound far too formal. You of all people should be able to call me by my first name."
"Thank you, Carla," you replied, appreciating the gesture of intimacy. It was a small thing, but it spoke volumes about her character and how she viewed your relationship with her son. “Eren told me that you loved flowers.”
You extended the bouquet towards her, and her eyes immediately lit up with appreciation. "They’re beautiful, thank you so much," she inspected them thoroughly. "You have a wonderful eye for arrangements. I'll put these in water," Carla said, already moving towards the kitchen. "Please, make yourself at home."
The house was filled with the pleasant hum of a home well-lived in. The walls were adorned with family photos, and the shelves held an array of knick-knacks and books that gave the space a personal touch. It was a home that was clearly cherished, a place where memories were made and treasured.
As Carla led you through the house, Eren stayed close, his hand occasionally brushing against yours in a silent show of support. You could feel his gaze on you from time to time, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She led you to the kitchen, where the aroma of blueberry muffins filled the air. You couldn’t not notice the beautiful vase filled with white lilies, a throwback to your first conversation with Eren.
“Sit yourselves down, I’ll make some coffee. Actually, Y/n, do you drink coffee or tea?”
“Tea would be great, thank you.”
Carla nodded and smiled, moving gracefully around the kitchen to prepare the beverages. "Tea it is," she said. "We have a few different kinds. Any preference?"
As she busied herself with the kettle and the tea selection, Eren pulled out a chair for you at the kitchen table. The domestic scene was heartwarming, and you felt a sense of inclusion. Eren took the seat next to you as Carla placed a steaming mug of tea on the table, along with a small plate of muffins. "Help yourself to the muffins," she encouraged. "I baked them this morning. They're Eren's favorite."
You thanked her and took a muffin, noticing the way Eren's eyes lit up with childlike excitement at the prospect of his mother's homemade treats.
“Well, look who it is.” A male voice filled the room, and you turned to the door to see Mr. Jaeger put his keys on the kitchen counter, his smile on display. “You must be Y/n.”
“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” You stood up to shake his hand, and he gave you a friendly shake.
“There are no “sirs” around here. You can call me Grisha.” He tapped his son on the shoulder, “Eren’s been telling us so much about you.”
“Only good things, I hope.” You gave a nervous laugh.
“The best.” He winked down at his son and Eren shook his head, smiling.
Grisha's easygoing demeanor and the playful interaction between him and Eren helped to further ease any lingering nerves you might have had. The atmosphere in the Jaeger household was one of warmth and joviality, and it was clear that humor and affection were the foundations of their family life.
As Grisha joined the table, Carla brought over another mug for him, and the family settled into a comfortable routine, as if you had always been a part of it.
“Now, do tell us, how did our boy succeed in stealing your heart?”
“Dad!” Eren's protest was half-hearted, his cheeks tinged with a hint of red as his father posed the question that hung in the air, a mix of curiosity and gentle teasing. Grisha's eyes twinkled with mirth, and it was clear that he was enjoying the moment, eager to hear the story from your perspective.
You glanced at Eren, who gave you a small nod, his embarrassment giving way to a look of affection. It was your cue to share the tale, and you took a deep breath, ready to recount the story that had become a cherished memory for both of you.
"Well," you began, a smile spreading across your face as you recalled the details, "it all started in detention, actually."
“Oh, that’s gotta be interesting!”
Grisha's interest was piqued, and Carla leaned in with a look of amused anticipation. Even Eren seemed to settle in, ready to hear your version of the story, despite knowing it all too well.
"Yes, detention," you continued, the smile never leaving your face. "We were both there for completely different reasons. I had accidentally fallen asleep during class, and Eren..."
You looked at him, unsure if you should say the reason for him being there. He looked at his parents, only saying, “Jean."
They both nodded, with Carla rolling her eyes, which led you to believe they were familiar with their antics.
You continued, “Well, I was reading my book when he came up to me, and we started talking. He was interested in it and wanted me to tell him about the story.”
“Can I confess something?” Eren chimed in, “I was more interested in you.”
You playfully nudged him with your shoulder, “You don’t say. Anyway, it was just the two of us, so we came up with a plan and decided to..” you stopped again, biting your lip, realising where the story was going, and the consequences that followed right after.
“Wait, is this about the time Eren locked that grumpy teacher inside his classroom?”
You froze in place, thinking maybe this wasn’t the best story to tell his parents the first time you meet them. Given the fact you were both suspended for an entire week after that, it was probably not the best idea.
“Ugh, I can’t stand that little man!” Carla exclaimed, her previous amusement giving way to a hint of exasperation and a rebellious twinkle in her eye. "Always so sour. I'm not saying I condone what you two did, but I can't say I'm entirely surprised."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, relieved by Carla's reaction. Eren gave you a reassuring look, squeezing your hand gently under the table as if to say, "See, it's okay."
“He’d tried to embarrass Y/n earlier that day. Couldn’t let that one slide.” Eren intercepted, and Grisha let out a laugh.
“Sounds like our boy, alright. Looks like you’ve got quite the knight in shining armour, Y/n.”
You couldn't help but blush at Grisha's comment. Eren's protective nature was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place, and it was clear his parents recognized this trait in him too.
"I guess I do," you replied with a smile, looking over at Eren, who was trying to hide his own reddening cheeks.
Eren, recovering from his moment of shyness, added with a playful grin, "Well, I can't have anyone messing with my partner in crime, can I?"
Carla shook her head with a smile, clearly amused by the banter. "Just make sure you two don't end up in actual armor, okay? I don't think I could handle bailing you out of the school dungeon."
The table erupted into laughter, the atmosphere light and full of familial warmth. Then, mrs. Jaeger started coughing, and not the kind of cough a flu could bring. It was long, and the laughter around the table faltered as her coughing grew more severe, her hand coming up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. The jovial mood quickly shifted to one of concern. Grisha was by her side in an instant, his hand on her back, his expression a mix of worry and calm as he tried to help her through it.
"Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay." Grisha said, his voice steady but tinged with urgency.
Eren was on his feet now, his earlier embarrassment forgotten as he focused on his mother. "Mom, should I get your inhaler?" he asked, ready to spring into action.
Carla managed to nod between coughs, and Eren didn't hesitate. He dashed off into the house as you stood up as well, feeling a bit helpless but wanting to offer support in any way you could.
"It's okay, dear," Carla said between coughs, trying to reassure you and Grisha, though her voice was strained. "This happens sometimes. Just need my inhaler."
Eren returned quickly, out of breath but with the inhaler in hand. He passed it to his mother, who took a deep puff, holding it in before exhaling slowly. After a few moments and a couple more puffs, her coughing began to subside, and her breathing evened out.
"I'm sorry for the scare," Carla said, her voice still a bit weak but steadier now. "I've been dealing with this for a while. Some days are better than others."
Grisha gave her a soft smile, his eyes full of love. "The important thing is that you're okay now," he said.
Eren sat back down, the worry slowly leaving his face as he saw his mother recovering. "Yeah, Mom, you've got to take it easy," he said, the protective nature you admired so much shining through once again.
She waved her son off, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She then turned to give you a soft smile, “I’m really glad we finally got to meet you, Y/n. Eren’s been different ever since you came into his life. No more going to the principal’s every week or so. You seem to have a good impact on him.”
You exchanged a look with her, one that truly conveyed her gratitude.
Eren smiled, his eyes now on you, “She keeps me in line.”
“Well, he’s been there for me, too. In more ways than one.” Your hand lingered on top of his, and you felt the incredible need to kiss him, but you knew now was not the right time.
Grisha, ever the observer, raised his mug in a mock toast. "To keeping each other in line, then," he said with a chuckle. "Sounds like the secret to a good partnership."
“It does, doesn’t it?” Carla looked at her husband, her eyes shining with fondness and gentle ribbing. "You could let loose from time to time, you know. Life is not only about balance. Sometimes, a little mess is good."
Grisha's eyes met Carla's, and he gave a mock sigh of resignation. "I suppose you're right," he conceded with a playful roll of his eyes. "A little mess never hurt anyone. It's the spice of life, I guess."
Eren watched the exchange with a smile, clearly enjoying the banter between his parents. It was evident that their relationship was built on a strong foundation of love and mutual respect, peppered with the ability to laugh and tease one another.
You couldn't help but smile at the scene before you, feeling a sense of inclusion. The Jaegers were.. they were what truly family was all about. Their ability to embrace life's imperfections, to find humor in the chaos, and to support one another through it all was inspiring. It was a reminder that family wasn’t about being perfect; it was about being there for each other, through the mess and the triumphs alike.
“I think I’m going to start on lunch.” Carla said, but before she could start rummaging through the kitchen drawers, her husband stopped her in her tracks.
“I’m making lunch. You sit down and rest.” He gave her a quick peck on the forehead, then turned to Eren, “Come help me start the barbecue, son.”
Eren kissed your cheek, then got on his feet and followed his father to the backyard. They had a big yard, and it was a sunny day, a perfect time for a barbecue.
As you watched Eren and his dad prepare the grill, the way they moved with an easy familiarity, it was clear that this was a ritual they had shared many times before. The clinking of the tools and the crackling of the fire blended with the sounds of nature in the Jaegers' backyard, creating a symphony of domestic bliss.
Mrs. Jaeger watched as well, with a genuine smile on her face, and yet.. you could sense the sadness in her eyes, a mother's concern that never fully fades even in moments of joy. It was a look that spoke volumes about the love she had for her family and the silent strength she carried within her. She was a beautiful, but frail woman, her big sweater doing nothing to conceal the fragility that seemed to be a part of her very essence. The coughing fit had been a stark reminder of her vulnerability, and it was clear that her health was something that weighed on her mind, as well as on the minds of her family.
“I really meant what I said, Y/n.” The woman spoke, her eyes still glued on her family. “Thank you for being there for him. The last year and a half has been.. challenging. I was afraid he was going to keep spiraling, getting into trouble, but then you came along.”
She was now looking at you you, her gaze filled with gratitude and relief. It was clear that your presence in Eren's life had made a significant impact, not just on him, but on his entire family.
"You've grounded him," Carla continued, her voice soft but earnest. "Helped him not think about.. everything."
You felt a swell of emotion at her words. You knew he was different, you’d seen it, felt it yourself, but hearing it from his own mother meant the world to you.
"I care about him a lot," you replied, meeting her gaze. "And he’s been there for me just as much as I've been there for him. We support each other."
Carla reached out, placing a gentle hand over yours. "That's what it's all about, isn't it?" she said with a smile. "I can see how much you both mean to each other, and it gives me peace of mind to know he has someone like you in his corner."
You nodded your head, your gaze back on the boy who’d stolen your heart, “I want to thank you, too. You’ve done a wonderful job with him. He’s.. everything I could ever ask for.”
“Oh, sweetheart, stop it, you’ll make me emotional!” Carla exclaimed, and you both shared a laugh. Her laughter was a balm to your ears, and as you both settled into a comfortable silence, your thoughts drifted to your own mother. The change in her had been palpable ever since your father left. Where there was once warmth and open communication, there was now a cold distance that seemed to stretch further with each passing day.
Her lively spirit, which used to fill the house with joy and endless chatter, had become withdrawn, her smiles fewer and her conversations clipped. The light in her eyes had dimmed, replaced by a weariness that seemed to weigh down her every movement. She was there, but not in the way she used to be—her presence more like a ghost of the vibrant woman she once was.
You understood her pain, the sense of abandonment and betrayal that must have eaten away at her, but it pained you to see her so altered, so consumed by the shadows of what used to be. You longed for the days when your mother was your confidante and your pillar of strength, not this shell of her former self, moving through the days with a hollowed-out heart.
Sharing this moment with Carla, you were reminded of the stark contrast between the lively, loving atmosphere of the Jaegers and the quiet desolation that had settled over your own home. It made you appreciate the Jaegers' warmth even more and deepened your gratitude for the sense of family they extended to you—a gift that was all the more precious given the void that had formed in your own life.
"Life has a way of throwing us curveballs," The woman before you spoke, as if she could read your thoughts. "But it's how we catch them—or pick them up after they've hit the ground—that really counts."
You nodded, looking down at your tea. “I like how that sounds.” For a moment, you debated if you should confide in her, having met her only today. But there was something about this woman, about her demeanor and outlook on life, that made you feel safe. It was a feeling you hadn't realized you'd been missing until now.
You took a deep breath, feeling the words rise up from within. "My mom... she's been different ever since my dad left. It's like the life has been drained out of her, and I don't know how to bring her back. We were so close before.. I miss her—the way she used to be."
Carla's expression softened, her eyes reflecting a deep empathy. She looked at you like this wasn’t the first time she’d heard that story, probably because Eren had already mentioned it. Which, you were kind of thankful for. It meant he cared enough to seek support for you even when you weren't around, and that Carla was now a willing confidante, ready to offer comfort and advice.
"I’m very sorry to hear that, Y/n. It's never easy, seeing the ones we love change before our eyes," Carla said gently. "But remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of love. Your mother may seem lost right now, but she's still in there, somewhere. And with you by her side, she has a beacon of hope to guide her back."
Her words were a comfort, and in that moment, you felt a connection with her, one that went beyond casualties. She was offering you a piece of wisdom that came from experience, from her own life's trials and tribulations.
"I truly hope so," you said, your voice thick with emotion. "I'll keep trying with her. Maybe one day, she'll be ready to start picking up those curveballs herself."
Carla reached to touch your cheek, her palm warm like her soul. "I’m sure she will, in her own time. And she's lucky to have you. Just like we're lucky to have you here with us."
“Thank you, Carla. This… it really means a lot to me.”
Carla's touch was reassuring, and her kind words wrapped around you like a comforting embrace. "You're welcome, dear," she replied with a gentle smile. "We all need a little support sometimes. Don't hesitate to reach out, whether it's to talk about your mom or anything else. We're family now."
You nodded, feeling a sense of belonging that was both new and deeply cherished. The kindness and openness this woman shared with you was like a soothing balm to the ache you'd been carrying around. It was a stark reminder that, while you couldn't control everything that happened in life, you could choose the people you surrounded yourself with—people who could make the burdens feel a little lighter.
“Now, do you think you could help me set the table? I could even show you my special lemonade recipe.” She sent a playful wink your way.
"I'd love to," you responded, the corners of your mouth lifting into a genuine smile.
Carla stood up to show you around the kitchen, and together you began to gather the plates, utensils, and glasses needed for the meal. The clink of cutlery and the clatter of dishes became the backdrop to a new kind of intimacy, one that was formed through shared tasks and quiet conversation.
As you worked, Carla shared her recipe, explaining each step with the care of someone passing down a treasured secret. You listened intently, taking note of the way she squeezed the lemons just so, the exact amount of sugar she added, and the sprigs of mint she used for garnish. The simplicity of the task, paired with the significance of the moment, made you feel more at home than you had in a long time.
With the table set, the bouquet you gifted her centered right at the middle of it, and the lemonade prepared, you stepped back to admire your handiwork. The kitchen was now transformed into a cozy dining space.
"Looks perfect," Carla said, surveying the scene with a satisfied nod. "Thank you, Y/n. You're a natural at this."
Just then, Eren and his father appeared at the door, the scent of grilled food preceding them. "Wow, look at this!" Eren exclaimed, his eyes taking in the spread. "You two have been busy."
His father placed a hand on your shoulder, a silent gesture of thanks that spoke louder than words. "You're part of the team now," he said with a warm smile.
As everyone took their seats around the table, the afternoon sun casting a golden glow over the scene, you felt a profound sense of peace. Eren sat next to you, his hand never leaving your knee, and in that moment, you just knew.
This was exactly where you were supposed to be.
…..
It was a silent night. A night where the crickets could be heard, their sound still gracing your town’s fields and grass because of the warm weather. You were lying in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, unable to fall asleep no matter how much you tried. It’d been two days since your conversation with him. Two days of overworking yourself so you could not think about him. Two days of failing because of all the waking up in the middle of the night, your conversation still fresh in your mind.
Lily was fast asleep in her room, unaware of your inner turmoils. At least you hoped she was. The first day of school was just one day away, and she was beaming with excitement, talking about anything and everything she couldn’t wait to do now that she was a “big girl”. It was heartwarming to listen to her, and it gave you a reason to smile amidst the swirl of emotions you were caught in. Lily's happiness was infectious, and it reminded you why you pushed through the tough times. Her joy and innocence were like beacon in a storm, guiding you back to what truly mattered.
But now, in the quiet of the night, your thoughts drifted once again to Eren and the small piece of paper that now sat on your nightstand. The mere act of taking his number didn't bind you to anything, but it symbolized a bridge — a potential pathway back to someone who had once meant the world to you.
With each silent tick of the clock, your mind played through a thousand different scenarios. What could happen if you called? What would remain if you chose not to? But there was a more pressing question that you couldn’t escape: What did you want to happen?
You rolled over in bed, trying to find a comfortable position that might welcome sleep. Your life had done a whole 180 since he came back, and you were afraid of the same thing happening to your baby girl. How could you answer her questions without breaking her heart if you decided to tell her about him? Even if you came up with some dumb lie that could evidently cause more damage as she grew older, that would only put a bandage on the wound. It wouldn’t fix anything.
But what if Eren was telling the truth? What if he really wanted to be a dad to her? It would be like taking away her chance of having both parents present in her life. But what if.. what if he left again?
You took a deep sigh, palms pressed against your face. You looked at the clock. It was 11:45pm. Screw it.
You jumped off your bed to grab the little piece of paper and began dialing his number, thinking he probably wasn’t asleep. Even if he was, you didn’t care. You didn’t know if you would get that kind of courage again.
He answered after the second beep.
"Hello?" Eren's voice came through the line, alert enough to recognize the urgency of a late-night call.
"Hey, it's me," you said, your voice steadier than you felt. The crickets' chorus seemed to quiet as if the night itself was holding its breath, waiting for what would come next.
“I know.” I know your phone number by heart, he thought. “Is everything okay?”
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as a means to collect your thoughts. You wanted to tell him that no, everything was not okay. That you’ve been thinking about your conversation, about everything, and that you couldn’t sleep a wink because of it. But instead, you decided to opt with something entirely different.
“The first day of school is in one day.”
Eren went silent. He knew, of course, but he couldn’t quite understand why you were mentioning it.
“Yeah, I know..” he replied, a note of confusion in his voice, “Is Lily okay? Are you?”
"She's more than okay. She's excited, can't stop talking about it," you said, a small smile forming as you thought of your daughter's enthusiasm.
“I’m glad.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. “It’s her big day, after all.”
Then, you became quiet again. The silence stretched between you, filled with the weight of unspoken thoughts and lingering emotions. Eren seemed to sense your hesitation, your internal struggle with the complexities of the situation.
“Y/n.. is everything-“
“We’re having a gathering at home after the school ceremony. I want you to come.”
The words came out before you could second-guess yourself, a decision made in the quiet space between heartbeats.
“It’ll be only close friends and some neighbors. Your dad, too.” You decided to add.
Eren's response took a few seconds, but you couldn’t miss the excitement, surprise and gratitude mixed within his voice. "I... yes, yes, I'll be there. Just tell me the time."
You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. "It'll be in the afternoon, after the ceremony. I'll text you the details," you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your stomach.
"Okay, I'll wait for your message. And Y/n… I… ", Eren paused, as if choosing his words carefully, "Thank you. I really appreciate this.” He went quiet again before he spoke, “I'm going to make sure you don't regret it."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. "We'll see," you said, not ready to make any promises or set any expectations. "For now, let's just focus on making it a good day for her."
"Yeah, yeah, of course," Eren agreed. "She's going to have the best first day. I'm sure of it."
"Yeah, she will" you whispered, a small smile returning as you thought of your daughter's excitement. “And Eren.. I haven’t told her anything yet.”
“Yeah, I understand. I told you, whatever you say, that’s what happens.”
"Okay. Goodnight.”
"Goodnight, Y/n," Eren said softly, a note of warmth in his voice.
The room was quiet once more, the earlier tension replaced by a cautious hope. You were still unsure about the future, about how things would unfold, but you had taken a step. For now, that was enough.
As you lay back down, the crickets outside resumed their song, a familiar and comforting sound. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to imagine the gathering, the school ceremony, and the look of joy on Lily's face. With those thoughts filling your mind, you finally felt sleep begin to take hold, offering you a respite from the whirlwind of emotions and a chance to finally rest.
…..
Tag list: @vlsquuu @love-is-sick @shima707 @6sakusa @p4lli @intimacywithcelestine @docufanfic @jaegersdiary @xcelestina @fvckingeetar @theforest @roronoazorosbxtchh @hannaburnout @camilo-uwu @ec3lipsy @littlemochi @erensonly @f4irycafe @idktbhloley @fairyvibez @desthevirgo @ange11core
#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#eren smut#eren jaeger smut#eren fluff#eren jaeger fluff#eren jaeger angst#eren angst#eren x reader
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Im desperately withholding the urge to ask like 13 questions for romauncebut ive narrowed it down to 3, 6, 18 and 19
Hey-hey, Edd! ✨
Thank you for your wonderful ask again! I'm very grateful for the inspiration and the opportunity you gave me to reveal more of the RoMaunce story. 💖
I decided to write and post the ficlets for the remaining part of your ask all at once. I remember you wanted a drawing for № 18, and I will certainly do it in the end of May / beginning of June (only from Rocky's perspective and containing that bonus part of the question), but now I want to cover it at least with a short story. :3
So, here they are, the ficlets for questions № 3, № 6 and № 18 from that list in the chronological (for the characters) order.
№ 18 - Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)
A Real Unicorn
“Oh, Rocky, what a—” Ivy stopped short when she noticed that the pieces of paper she had picked up from the floor beneath the table where Calvin and Rocky had been sitting just a moment ago weren't trash, but… notes.
A pile of small, tightly crumpled notebook sheets, all neatly handwritten in pencil. It was unlikely that anyone had ever given Rocky an assignment on paper, and Calvin also had no reason to write so often to the cousin whom he saw every day. Maybe Rocky wrote down poetry that way? Though it would have been a bit of a stretch to assume that he was that meticulous. Ivy stroked the sheets with her fingers. Were they really valuable, since Rocky kept them with him, or did he just put them in his pocket and then forget to throw them away? It wasn't that important, actually. It was better to just return the loss… but curiosity eventually got the better of Ivy.
Forgetting about the plates and cups, she began to read the lines, puzzled to find a strange list of orders from the cafeteria. Pizzas, pastas, salads, coffee… no, Ivy didn't see anything surprising in the fact that Rocky might have dined somewhere else besides Little Daisy, but why did he keep the notes that the waitresses usually made for the kitchen?
She wondered about that until she accidentally turned over one of the sheets.
What she saw was hard to comprehend. With each new word, Ivy's gaze grew more excited. Her heart beat more frequently. Her eyebrows arched in surprise.
She didn't stop until she had read them all, from beginning to end, but even then she couldn't believe it. Ivy sat back in the chair and stared at the wall.
What was more likely? That Rocky had completely lost his mind and over and over again was writing himself tender endearments and, for some reason, wishes of bon appétit, in the same thin handwriting that listed the orders on the back side of the sheets, or that he had a… no, it couldn't be. It seemed ridiculous to even try to imagine.
After all, if somewhere in the world there existed a woman who willingly writes such words to Rocky Rickaby, then somewhere in St. Louis might as well live a real unicorn.
№ 3 - Most common argument?
The Chains That Are Too Short
“Someday I'll steal you away for more than a couple hours, and then we'll get really entertained,” Rocky chuckled, helping Mau roll up the blanket. Another night under the stars in St. Louis was coming to an end.
“Really? Are you planning something for a whole three hours?” quipped Maura at him.
“I was rather hoping for something between fifty years and forever,” Rocky shrugged, picking up his violin case. “And then it is as it goes. You know, all that happily ever after, but… livelier. With a bit of sparks here and there.”
“Hmm. So, you’re going to take me, like a princess, away on a white horse to your sugar castle in the kingdom beyond the clouds, and we'll live in love and harmony, become exemplary neighbors, start paying our taxes, have a bunch of obnoxious kids and die the same day.”
“Why not?” Rocky seemed not to notice her sarcasm. “Yes, the script is old-fashioned, but it's proven by both time and folklore. It's almost a guide to action, if you know how to apply folk wisdom properly. And if we dig deeper into the poetry of feudal Europe, we can probably find a couple or three good tips even about paying taxes.”
“Maybe so, but unfortunately, happy fairytales are now left only as an exception and only on the stages of theaters. And you and I don't have enough for a single ticket even together,” Mau started to walk toward the fire escape, but Rocky caught up with her and took her by the arm. Her words, or rather what was clearly between the lines, made his heart feel totally uneasy.
“Mau… I can get some money. I…”
“It's not about money, Roark,” she sighed. “Or rather, it's not just about them. You know it well already…” she took only a step before Rocky stopped her again.
“Come with me,” he blurted out anxiously.
“Where to?”
“In general! Now! We could live together…”
“You sleep in a car. Which isn't even yours.”
“If I rearrange a few things, we both could fit in there. And I could give the cactus to Freckle…”
“Roark…”
“And… and! And I could also ask Miss M. about a job for you. Sooner or later things will get better at Lackadaisy, and… what if we could rent a room together?”
“That's the very problem. I can't be seen anywhere in criminal circles. My father and I are being chased, and rumors will definitely spread if I show up in the underground, and then… then my father and I will have to run away again, and if anyone finds out that you and I are together… Dio mio, don't you realize they'll kill you?”
Rocky quietly groaned and started pacing back and forth. He was almost shaking from nerves. Mau, meanwhile, continued, oblivious to the need to speak in a low voice:
“These thugs are not going to stop at anything to get us. It's bad enough that you're at odds with the locals, so I pray every night that you'll at least stay alive after your ventures, and I don't want to bring the New York Mafia down on you too! This is madness, Roark! I told you many times, I can't be seen with you while you're in the bootlegging business. Maybe we could rent a shabby little room somewhere if you were just a musician, but you ain't, and you ain't going to be!”
In despair, Rocky flailed his arms.
“But I can't! I can't leave Miss M.! I can't—”
“I know,” Mau interrupted him. “And I'm not asking you to. But you can't tease me with a bright future either… It's too much even for me. We're alive, and we have each other, here and now, and that's more than I could ever hope for. Please, just be with me while it's possible…”
Rocky still couldn't calm down. He was breathing erratically, heavily… when Mau stepped closer to him and gently embraced him, he pulled her against him so tightly that she involuntarily sighed. He was sickened by how right she was. His entire being was rebelling against that rightness, wanting to burn that truth to the ground and recreate his own, happy truth from the ashes, whatever risks it took. The seconds lingered… Rocky didn't unclench his hands. Anything to keep Mau in his arms now… anything to avoid going back into the night alone.
But the chains bound to them were too short to allow them to reach the morning.
Interesting fact: The question № 3 was the hardest for me to explore, because for me Rocky and Mau are not the couple that has many constant, repetitive topics to argue about. At first I thought to write about Rocky ignoring his health issues, because that definitely would've got Maura's nerves, but that topic becomes a 'constant argument' only in the distant future from the Lackadaisy current timeline. But finally, I found the topic that is definitely difficult for them both and may cause repetitive uneasy discussions. I hope it covered the question.
№ 6 - What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?
The Serenity in You
The Epigraph: When stars drown in the night and the storm fills your mind, it's important to find the safe haven to hide…
The summer heat in the car was becoming unbearable. Rocky felt as if he was drowning in the dense air, almost as much as in his own thoughts. Whenever he was able to doze off, fears and memories began to flood his mind, to crash over him in suffocating waves. Carefully, so as not to wake her, Rocky found Maura's hand, gently intertwining their fingers together. Even back then, when he hadn't had the courage to tell her about his feelings, she had taken his hand in hers so often that it had become almost a sacred act for Rocky. She didn't even seem to realize how every time they were sitting or standing in front of each other she began to stroke the back of his hand… and how much peace, serenity even, that gentle touch brought him.
Suddenly he heard a whisper:
“What are you thinking about?”
Rocky slightly shivered from tension. What he was thinking about… he wished he didn't know himself. Keeping his eyes shut, he mumbled:
“Ah, it's nothing. You know, there's a pesky streetlight out there, and its reflection in the window keeps me awake…”
Mau was silent for a while, and only turned slightly on her side, resting her head on his chest.
“I love hearing your voice, Roark. Falling asleep listening to the tune you hum and the sound of your heartbeat. It's soothing… almost like the sound of the rain outside the window, only… much warmer. Dearer. But when your heart beats like this… like how it beats now… I want to know what makes it so heavy.”
Once again, the nightmares that had haunted him became clearer in his mind. He hesitated; he was uncomfortable with these ugly thoughts himself, and the last thing he wanted to do was to make Mau sink into them, too. But when she gently, yet confidently squeezed his hand in hers again, his doubts receded. She was here, right next to him. And as long as she touched his fingers with hers, they would not drown in this boundless sea. So finally, gently leaning his cheek against the top of Maura's head, Rocky began to speak.
#heldig writings#lackadaisy#lackadaisy oc x canon#romaunce#rocky rickaby#maura venza oc#ivy pepper#mitzi may#calvin freckle mcmurray#lackadaisy fanfiction#lackadaisy rocky#rocky lackadaisy#maura venza#ivy lackadaisy#lackadaisy ivy#calvin mcmurray#calvin lackadaisy#lackadaisy calvin#lackadaisy freckle#freckle lackadaisy#lackadaisy mitzi#mitzi lackadaisy#lackadaisy oc#lackadaisyoc#lackadaisy ocs#lackadaisyocs#oc x canon#augusto venza oc#augusto venza
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## "𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘"
𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 ! 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘔𝘓 𝘏𝘈𝘉𝘐𝘉𝘛𝘐 𝘕𝘈𝘋𝘖𝘖𝘕 @sttarzxx 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, the paraghraph text and response to it was copy and pasted from me and the dude this happened to me withs chat.........
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 2 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘋𝘠𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌 (𝘫𝘬)
"im gonna do it. im gonna text him."
you were on vc with your best friend. for context, you had a crush. a MASSIVE crush on a boy named robby. you had liked him for 2 years now, the only bad thing? you guys were barely friends. you guys had a class together, and he would always talk to you (hed call u weird when u declared you were spiderman.).. all until you left school for second semester. you hadnt seen robby in about 6 months, but you still liked him (attachment issues go hard). u guys used to text, too. itd mostly be u texting with double chats and him replying in a dry way... but u still liked him AHAHA, so 2 days ago.. you asked your friend for his number...
"hey"
you texted, and he replied right away
"hi"
after that, you guys had texted for 5 minutes, asking things like "hru" or "wyd" until he finally said
"who even are u?"
your eyes widened seeing this, and you were a pussy, so you said
"im f/n (fake name)"
you guys, for another day kept texting back and fourth.. the only thing is, you acted like u didnt have a clue who he was, what he liked, and what he did.
"i do karate, i think its cool to have balance in your life and karate gave me that."
..... you already knew that, but you couldnt help but act like u didnt.
it was like u two havent met eachother. but little did u know, he was observant as fuck.
"you know u remind me of someone, u text the same as her. her name is y/n"
he said, and ur eyes widened. u couldnt believe that he had memorized your texting style. but you were a pussy, so u denied it.
a couple days go by and u guys still text, you overthink everything he says and you were starting to think your friends were getting tired of you ranting ab it to them all the time. there was this one time where u two had been talking, and the convo? it wasnt good. at all.
"k"
he said, and you furrowed ur eyebrows...
"WYM K?? THATS LIKE THE DRIEST MESSAGE EVER"
....
"yeah ik"
...... what? you couldnt believe it. was he bored of u already? were u being too annoying? were u just a bother?
your heart sunk, and u felt ur knees go weak. not weak in a "i just folded" typa way, but in a "im gonna kms" typa way.
your thoughts kept flooding with things like "i just annoyed him" or "he doesnt want to talk to me anymore." and you wanted to cry.
you start to rant ab it to your friends, balling ur eyes out as u do, you were in ur head about it, letting it get to you. your hands trembled as u typed about it to your friends. you had always been insecure about your personality, not wanting ppl to see u as too much or crazy. so u finally replied to him.
"ok"
its been 15 since youve been on delivered (or read, he didnt have read recipts on)
u desperately wanted to talk to him so u sent anotyher message
"hihii"
when he replied, you got so happy u forgot about the fact that you were crying about him the night before. but the thing is, he would leave u on read the whole day, and it stressed u out.
everyone had been telling u to just tell him who u were, and to stop being a pussy. hell, even snap ai wasnt on your side. so u write a paragraph, wanting to send it to him
"hi robby, so ive been feeling kinda bad recently for this and i hope u forgive me and that this doesnt ruin our 'friendship' kinda thing going on, basically i lied ab like a couple things and i feel bad IFDJNEJN so uh im y/n (u guessed right kinda craz) and IK I LIED AB NOT KNOWING B/F/N BUT I FELT LIKE ITD BECOME AWKS and stuff, f/n is my online name since ion give my real name out (and its a nickname my freinds call me), im sorry for acting like i didnt know who u were i was just being a pussy difjejfn but the truth is i asked b/f/n to send me a bunch of (school name) numbers and u was like the only person (other than 2 girls) who texted me back and I DIDNT KNWO IT WASS U AT FIRST but when u told me who u were i didnt know how to keep the 'friendship' going (r we friends??? idek atp) nd ik this is gonna make everything awkward and stuff but uh yeah im really really sorry for lying 2 u and i hope we can still b friends lol (ts up 2 u//im coming back next year too so idk if that helps EKJFNEIJNF)"
SENT !
... you were stressing atp, would he block u? would he be dry? would he ghost u? say "oh ok"? call u weird and tell everyone?
you didnt know how to feel, you wanted to cry. you were in ur head about this whole situation and u couldnt help but overthink. so u turn to your best friends, wanting-- no, needing reassurance. they continue to tell u its okay and that he wont break your heart. but you cant help it, that feeling. that feeling of your heart sinking, the feeling of the lump that forms in your throat, the feeling where you just want to feel better. but you cant. you were paranoid. you were tearing up. but you forced yourself not to cry, u didnt wnat to be a crybaby, but u couldnt help it. the tears had already formed and started to fall, your vision fogging up and your eyelashes wet. you couldnt believe u thought ur lifew could be like a wattpad love story. you were cracking your knuckles and picking at the skin around your cuticles, something u did when u were stressed. you then went to bed, hoping everything would be okay.
the next morning u wake up. the first thing u do is check every other social media and dm before his, you had a feeling he was gonna make u cry (again).
when u finally open the text, your whole expression lights up.
"I mean I suspected it and I am personally fine with the lie you told and yea I can forgive u but as you know I am a dry texter"
you were so happy. u couldnt believe it. you quickly change his contact name back from "oh" to "ROBBYYY! <33" and you smiled so big your jaw started to hurt
maybe there was a chance.
@/ilovesillycats
plz dont copy my work 😞
#runa ⭐️ writes#kisses for nadeen !#cobra kai#miguel diaz <3#cobra kai x reader#cobra kai x y/n#cobra kai x you#cobra kai fic#cobra kai fluff#cobra kai headcanons#the karate kid#karate kid#robby#robby keene#robby keene x reader#robby x reader#robby cobra kai#johnny lawrence#cobra kai robby
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In your AU who is your all time favorite and why?
Anon, I've been thinking about this for hours, I'm NOT joking, This au has been around since 2018, its a very special thing to me, its gotten me personally through ALOT of shit, and its one of Me and Ricks (@galacticaldisaster) first au's/rewrites we've EVER done together, this au short is SO SO important to me which is why its SO HARD just to choose one character, you feel me? On top of that Rick and I try to implement literally EVERYONE into this au, we Cherry-pick from books, we include EVERYONE from AR, there are GENUINELY so many options!
My favorites bounce around alot due to whoever i'm focusing on developing and the likes but i think i've got a solid tie for #1! and ive got reasons for why its a tie :]!
Chris is my favorite out of all of the characters i've written purely because he makes me very sad, I think i did the best job writing him as a character, hes balanced in the sense that hes a heartbreaking character and yet i think he stays child-like in essence, hes got reason for what he does but he goes about it like a 6 year old would, a very scared 6 year old
Which brings me to my second favorite of all of the characters, Richie. Richie is this au's FNAF 3 Phone dude, I havent really talked about Richie too much, besides the mention from last night. But richie will ALWAYS be on top, mostly because he is the very first character i wrote for this au, WAAAYYY back when i was 15, the very first picture i EVER drew of this au was of Richie Scott, Age 17, Threatening to hit someone with a lightning mcqueen Croc. Richie and Phillip's (@galacticaldisaster s phone guy) whole concept came from a game of Garrys Mod where we were being little idiots and beating the shit out of eachother with fnaf character models! I also just think Richies silly :]
Legally i DO have to give you all my favorite of Ricks characters;
You all obviously know springtrap/william, absolute motherfucker, but RICK. RICK HAS THE AUDACITY, THE G A L L to both turn him into the saddest dad you've EVER met, and the scariest and i mean, SCARIEST William ive ever read. seriously, dudes believe me, Rick's writing for his devolve from a dad/ business man to murderous deranged killer is GENUINELY my favorite, I've seen alot of interps of william, and maybe im a bit biased, But Ricks is my favorite.
Now Phillip is in the same vein of Richie, hes the phone guy and was made during a game of Gmod via rambling, but Phils character and story is genuinely very very :[ i love him, he is my favorite white boy, Phillip my beloved little corporate slave turned Man Fuck This Place >:,[ i wont talk about his story too much, but its sad, and i fucking adore him and will kill for him
an honorable mention for ricks, who i will not be sharing pictures of is Jeremy Fitzgerald, because rick is the ONLY person i know who has implemented the fact jeremy carved his fucking face off and also once again? i love him. hes a FUCKER.
HONORABLE MENTIONS BELOW CUT!!
my FAVORITE fucker to draw is malhare.
look at this fucking idiot, i love him, and yet he is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING. HE IS A MENACE. this guy and his bestie in au is ARE ABSOLUTE FREAKS. FUCK UP YOUR LIFE FLAVORED FREAKS!!
annnnndd currently my favorite character to write for is Vanny and the Tape girl (Delilah!) :]
i will not be giving context to this image :]
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oh sorry!! misinterpreted!! pls tell me abt his 500 mental illnesses and horrors please
NO UR FINE HEHEHDHSHD i figured id get an ask abt it at some point cus most people dont talk abt iroh in such deranged ways.... but . idk i really just sort of take literal facts abt iroh and stretch them so they become hcs??? and i also take little worldbuilding hcs ive seen other people have and adopt them because it adds spice.
this is gonna get long and crazy cus its just me musing about shitty iroh qualities ive noticed and trying to clown a bit in his pov so im gonna put it all under a cut. read it only if you dare thoughf
first of all. iroh is like a hypocrite among all hypocrites. its funny as it is pathetic. sometimes he knows it and tries to adjust his thinking because after all he DOES actively try to change himself for the better. sometimes he knows it and just doesnt care. maybe feels guilty for not caring, maybe he sometimes doesnt feel guilty. and sometimes he doesnt notice it at all because well. 6 years of changing yourself means what exactly to 30 something years of being one of the biggest baddest fn ghouls???? theres still a lot of unlearning to do, and he thinks he can be all hoity toity grand lotus. like boy bye. i think that if he knew he would work to submit to humility and i say that genuinely but sometimes old fire nation crown prince habits die hard. he wears silk robes under his armor baby. he was the spoiled rotten eldest son!!! theres a way you can balance iroh actively practicing humility but also him being patronizing and holier-than-thou.
iroh spent years and decades believing in the fire nations old cause. i bet yall anything the siege wasnt his only crime, just the biggest and most notorious. and on top of that hed believed that taking down ba sing se was his destiny from a vision that had been sent by the spirits. as if spirits gaf abt war shit humans do like boy youre just delusional and have always been delusional. but im sure that everyone took it seriously cus im p sure fn folk take spirit stuff seriously considering the fire lord is supposed to be like... a god human and his word is divine law or whatever idfk.
lu tens death was world shattering to iroh beyond belief if it managed to break that. iroh is a spiritual guy and takes spirits dead seriously, and if he believed him taking ba sing se was decreed by agni- well. look at how hard it was for zuko to give up those beliefs, and he was only sixteen and his track list is prob mickey mouse size compared to irohs. thats why lu ten being just a mentioned ghost character kinda bothers me cus i think if we knew more abt him itd put just how earth shattering his death was into more perspective. if he meant that much to iroh that it stopped iroh from caring when fn folks care so much about their cause, awful as it is, then he mustve been something special.
as for how iroh is with women i couldnt give you a good answer on that. the fn doesnt really seem to have roles like the nwt so i dont think its a common fn man thing to objectify women. which means thats just an iroh specific thing. which is insane??? but i watch one piece which has sanji in it so ive seen far worse but still. this isnt the objectify women olympics. i think as far as i can remember the only time iroh had been annoying and needed to be curb stomped about it was with june and then every other time it was reciprocated flirting with women his age but i digress. itd be pretty funny if lu tens birth in general almost became a scandal because iroh didnt know who the hell the mother was. This isnt one of his 500 mental illnesses though its just an annoying iroh quality ive noticed. Lets cut his dick off
NOW BACK TO MY FIRST POINT specifically ab him being a hypocrite and knowing it and feeling guilty but also sometimes not feeling guilty. i was talking abt him and azula. I have no idea if iroh knows how similar he and his niece are. frankly i believe itd be funny if he didnt because hes deluded as hell. i know people say oh iroh doesnt like azula bc she reminds him of himself WELL I THINK IROH DOESNT LIKE AZULA BECAUSE SHE REMINDS HIM OF OZAI. as if iroh would compare her to himself!! hes not that gd self aware. which comparing her to ozai is very unfair to azula and stupid i know. and humans do and think things that are very unfair and stupid and hurt the people around them. and its sad and it sucks but thats just how it is. him being the age that he is beefing with a teenager is a bad look and these bad looks are what make iroh whole and human and a shitty uncle. i dont hate him for it but i also think azula can rip his face off like a rabid chimpanzee for it if she felt that way
i think its like, he knows that azula is only 14 and is only doing what ozai teaches her and will just get the short end of the stick at the end of the day because thats just how ozai is, and thats when he feels guilty. but then shes manipulating and pulling zukos emotional strings like hes a puppet and shes rushing in with a smirk thats identical to ozais and shes rushing at zuko and thats when he stops feeling guilty and stops caring about her age and only cares about what she can do and what she will do and attacks her the same way hed attack anyone else. crushing her hand in his own and then kicking her in the face off war ships.
and then i think that guilt about her age and seeing it as just something that war does to even children eventually wears off entirely and all he can see when he looks at her is his own brother, and that means he needs to keep her far away from zuko no matter what. so yeah i think he really meant it when he said he thinks azula is crazy and that she needs to go down and no i dont think hed have too much of an issue with being the one to do that if it meant zukos safety. how does iroh feel like shit over lu ten dying but not over the idea of possibly killing his niece? couldnt tell you. i know a lot of people think its misogyny on irohs part and i mean. maybe?????? but i honestly dont think so. i think blaming it on misogyny actually makes their beef less intriguing, if anything. i think he just hates azula for azula.
and i dont even think comparing azula to ozai is something he only does with azula. i bet there are times where zuko shows his soft side and instead of being filled with love and admiration for his nephew who is compassionate despite it all, the first thing that comes to his head is look at that, look at how hes not entirely like ozai, theres still hope for an honorable and idealistic leader for our nation in the future. like i said before, old habits die hard. sometimes iroh Has to think like a general with his family for the wellbeing of literally everyone else on the planet but in moments like that, its just unfair to zuko as his nephew. thats something i dont think he even realizes is bad of him as an uncle- that hes made himself one of many people that only ever compare zuko to the shadows of his family members that loom over them.
which then moves us to the question of, do i think iroh projects his feelings about lu ten onto zuko. my answer? sort of yes?? but sort of no?? sort of no because zuko makes that impossible. even if i personally hc that there was a lot of lu ten that iroh didnt know, the lu ten that iroh knew couldnt be anymore different than zuko. so iroh cant use the same parenting techniques on zuko, he cant have the same quiet and casual moments with zuko, theres no teasing and banter and rough housing with zuko. lu ten had been self assured in the way a boy can be when he has a father that doesnt instill fear into him.
However comma. i think that paternal love and adoration is the same as the kind he had for lu ten. that protectiveness is the same. theres the amused affection at how similar lu ten and zukos stubborness is, how expressive their irritation is- the way they both flail their hands around and in the air whenever they get frustrated. their undying dedication, the honor and belief in justice. it took iroh forever to see the similarities, only until he got to know zuko a little better aboard the ship. its the same feelings and most of the time that new love makes iroh feel new.
but i also think that sometimes its agony. sometimes that desperation and mourning of lu ten, wishing there was something, anything, iroh could do or give to bring him back, manifests in the form of if zukos wellbeing isnt at a certain standard at all times im going to lose my mind. its one thing for zuko, who is young and hurting, to be codependent on iroh. its another for iroh to be codependent on zuko. he hopes zuko never stops thinking iroh is just a worrywart, that iroh is just kind of overbearing in the way annoying grown ups are, because if he ever stopped and saw the truth, the terrified desperation that iroh has to make sure zuko gets out of this year alive??? i dont even know what iroh would do if zuko died during the show if im being honest. thats something thats beyond my comprehension lol.
i think for a while irohs dedication is this gross mix of codependency onto zuko and zukos overall wellbeing, but also this weird convoluted mess of guilt over lu ten that he doesnt want to relive with his nephew so this is like.... something he thinks he owes zuko. which hurts and sucks but i think those two things can and do co exist. i dont think irohs love for zuko becomes entirely uneffected by lu ten and the loss of lu ten until like. literally book 3.
and im serious about that too i think the "owing zuko something" bit had been stronger in book 1 when iroh had been more apathetic but then in book 2 when iroh was literally Living in lu tens grave site and im pretty sure even losing sight of zuko in ba sing se would be enough to freak iroh out. irohs a general and a genius in strategy, but the instincts of a parent- a stressed one, because you cant tell me that just because iroh is endeared by the people of ba sing se that thats enough to qwell his fears- squashes all of that into dust. hes living in the grave site of his son. him and zuko could be recognized. his contacts warned him of the dai li and long feng. he only truly relaxes until zuko comes back through the door. he only truly sleeps well when he can feel his nephews bright and alive chi near him.
and i think that when he mourns lu ten and is scared for zukos life in the earth kingdom he hates himself more than hes ever hated himself ever since losing lu ten in the first place. the personal killer of so many earth kingdom sons, so many earth kingdom fathers lives that he personally ruined, and here he is, alive.
But then thats when rationality and humility leaves him and that royal selfishness shows itself- he knows hes the one at fault- the murderer of earth kingdom sons of all ages, daughters of all ages, elderly, mothers and fathers, babies and toddlers, homeless that dont have the means to scurry to the inner walls and hide in homes, family pets and family livestock, ash and blood in the water that they need to drink and cook the food they had left with, running out of supplies, running out of the medicine pregnant mothers need to ease their pain during labor, medicine needed to perform amputations from violent and infected burns, sickness thats bound to show while under siege and cut off from the rest of the world, entire bloodlines ended, brains and blood and body parts covered in ash and littering the streets that he now walks as a fugitive.
its all his fault and yet hes still so angry at himself and the world and his god damned family, he wants his god damned son back. he tries to be a good example for his nephew who has so much to learn still, the world depends on his nephew learning the things this uncle is trying to teach him-but hidden poorly under the mask of a wise and worldly old man, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. he tries so hard to change and be humble and think beyond his own interests the way a grand lotus ought to, but when the gap in his chest left behind by his son that he murdered, that wouldn't be dead if it werent for his sorry excuse of a father, starts to ache so tangibly he almost wants to keel over and vomit.
SO . yeah i think that theres a way to balance irohs many lovely facets. his calm and collected mentor side that is observant and patient with the angriest teenage boy on earth, his ridiculous side that does stupid annoying shit to spite and tease his nephew, his protective and nuturing side that adores his nephew and wants him to be happy, his snobby pretentious ex crown prince side that thinks achieving peak open mindedness is joining a secret society with dudes like pakku, his angry and hateful side that did so many cruel things yet learned what fire can really mean from the masters but is still selfish and also wants seconds out of his self made grief despite taking the first plates from others and cant even bring himself to care, his manipulative side that earned him a reputation in the snake nest that is definitely the fire nation nobility and court, his hypocritical side that hates azula for the same reasons he hates his brother and hates himself but somehow cant fathom correlating himself with his niece.
Hes the worst hes the best hes my favorite hes my worst enemy. when do you ever get a character as ill as iroh at irohs age??? its always the mentally ill 20 something anime dude. never the shitty old man. im so insane
#what can i do to convince you guys that on my top 5 list sokka actually places before iroh#Nothing most likely. whatever#i hope this whole essay is entirely nonsensical to you all#asks
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i'm sorry about what you're going through 💔 it's hard but i believe you can stay strong and get through it 🫂
i am having such a hard time. sorry to just kind of use this as an excuse to dump all this junk but
my grandfather passed away suddenly last week, and the last time i met him in person i was a baby in arms so i never really met him in person, id only really talked to him over the phone except for one very shitty skype call like a decade ago. so i didnt really know what he looked like until hours after he was pronounced dead. and i have a lot of complicated feelings and resentment and shame about that related to bigger complexes and trauma i have. and ive been really really looking forward to the funeral because itll be the first and only time i see him in person, and its an opportunity to see all my mothers family, because i havent met a lot of them in person, but theyre so much more loving than my fathers side of the family who are very vindictive and cruel. and my mother cant get her tax return back in time to pay for my ticket and i have like, no money. definitely not enough for a flight to jamaica. (people do not get their tax returns back here its ridiculous and extremely depressing so shes owed a lot from like a 6 year period 6 years ago). so now im depending on my financially and emotionally abusive dad for yet another thing that matters deeply to me that he can use to ruin my life for some vindictive reason. and i dont trust that he wouldnt refuse just to hurt me, and even if he does pay for it i know hes gonna hold it against me. i dont really care that much if he does because i already missed out on seeing my grandfather, i dont want to miss anyone else. but i really worry that hes going to say no, or pretend to say no to stress us out or something. im just really not in a good way right now i wont lie.
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tell me your headcanons for mac n cheese and cheddar RIGHT NOW!! /nf /silly
HI THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK AGSJDBDKFBSKRB /GEN THIS MAKESME SO HAPPY ,,,,
i think that if i were to go in depth about my headcanons and lore for them this post would be a bit long so heres some of the simpler ones X]
links lead to drawings ive made relating to my headcanons 👍
Cheddar Cheese
• cheddar is very. VERY tall. like 6'9" (funny number). Makes it worse because sometimes they like to wear heels
• uses all pronouns but mainly they/them :3 male/female honorifics
• a lesbian. Question mark ? still debating
• rogueforts cousin!!! Survived the blue cheese manor fire (which happened when it was just a teen)
• related to above if you know anything about my roguefort lore they grew up in a Not so great rich snobby family!! they were buxton blue cheeses child which makes cheesecake their sister as well. Dont ask where the accent came from let me have this JZVDKFBDK
• intersex and bigender - when growing up they were forced to fit into either "boy" or "girl" and didnt exactly fit either stereotype biologically or through their behavior so their parents were very frustrated with them. Turns out theyre both!!!
• it started as a joke because of ratatouille but. i am a firm believer in ratmouse cheddar. are they a rat? is he a mouse? both? Neither? no matter what they hide ears under their hat and paws under her gloves and a rat tail under their coat because i think its fun💥💥they should have rat/mouse features as a treat
• they have legs that are way too thin and not at all proportinate to tjeir body. i cannot stand drawing them because of this.
• resting :3 face
• very much cursed (it would take a few posts to explain this one)
• whatever this is
Macaroni
• shorter than cheddar but still on the taller side!! 5'11"
• uses he/him pronouns but he doesnt really care what pronouns are used on him. fem honorifics or anything he doesnt mind that either
• amab and genderfae :] (basically genderfluid without the masc part of the spectrum)
• lesbian
• older sister of my oc maccy cheese cookie (who was made before mac and cheddar were introduced HXBFJ). macaroni is 6 years older than them
• parents just Straight up abandoned him and his sibling as kids!! i could explain this one further but probably in another post
• it may be hard to believe but he is older than cheddar
• CANNOT STAND unsolved mysteries. having unsolved cases or puzzles makes him physically ill and he cant stand to eat or sleep when he doesnt know the solution
• related to above he despises cliffhangers and surprises and if he cant read a mystery novel in one full sitting it will EAT HIM ALIVE
• also related. Loves math! fun little puzzles that (almost) always have one logical solution. he does NOT however like math problems with multiple/no solutions
• easily startled by sudden loud noises or actions
• a lil chubby!!
• he has a little macaroni tail. sorry
as for my mac n cheese (ship) headcanons,, i cant explain them very well without context to my Full lore for the two but heres my attempt HVDKFB
• started as INCREDIBLY one sided (cheddar had romantic feelings for mac while mac had feelings of. Hatred)
• cheddar is incredibly easy to fluster because shes not used to being on the Recieving end of affection (cough cough for curse reasons cough)
• cheddar is also incredibly touch starved (cough cough for curse reasons cough)
• macaroni can just. Use cheddar as a bed. they are so fucking tall and wide he can just snooze on them
• they are so doomed toxictragic yuricore im going to kill them
YAAY thats all ill do for now but if anyone has any further questions i would love to answer
rbs ok!!!
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YOU GUYS WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FINISHED⁉️⁉️
(jokes aside this chapter is heavy and when i say heavy i mean HEAVY it's the heaviest chapter ive wrote for now please read the tws and take care mwah)
childhood friends, a d.m. fanfic🐍// chapter 3
TW // descriptions and mentions of abuse, death, blood n gore (can get graphic so be careful), gender of reader not specified, sulphur hater community gonna go wild after this one, im inconsistent as fuck with the writing and the lore god save us, no proofreading we die like men, literally angst/trauma then fluff then i proceed to wreck incredible trauma upon desire, put your seatbelts on for the last part because oooh boy, teen desire angst mhm, desire needs therapy, me when i ignore the canon (sigma)
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A crumpled diary entry, the sides messily torn off and a lot of words aggressively scribbled over. The handwriting starts off neat and in a posh cursive, yet as the writing progresses, it turns to a manic, almost deranged shaky hand, a mix of unfinished sentences and unknown keywords, the paper wobbly and the ink blotchy due to the fact that it was sodden with the author's tears. The date is unreadable.
~
Today, it's my 17th birthday.
Today, it's also 6-years-and-something of my confinement inside the house. I stopped keeping serious track of time a while ago - I realized that thinking of it made me feel even worse than usual.
I still clearly remember the day when it all started. When i started descending into madness as all of my thoughts began to be blocked off one by one by hardcover books and the well-maintained white walls - I still harboured the fading pink scar on my palm. Yet, the worst scars were the ones on my psyche. They were like scabs - instead of forgetting what happened and letting myself heal, I did the exact opposite. I kept tearing apart the healed wound, reliving what I knew I should forget and what I can't fix. It fueled me, such bland and dull anger. I would scream, shout, dig my nails an inch deep into my skin upon the resurfacing memory, shunning my younger and my current self, while being fully aware I could never escape the situation nor now nor then. It's the worst kind of anger, the one that both riles you up and leaves your chest aching at the same time. It's not even the anger - it's the feeling of inevitable helplessness that you try so hard to hide. Beneath my thin veil of teenage angst and aggressive outbursts, I knew what i truly was. I saw the real me every night, hearing myself break down the second I locked myself in my room.
Even if he took my freedom, even if we had dinner together, even if I spent 10 hours a day studying thick textbooks that he spent thousands on, I could never see him as "dad". He never was one to begin with, so his countless attempts to make me consider him one were fruitless. I quickly forgot the burning feeling on my hand when he first hit me since he quickly resorted to physical violence as time went by. Cursed him under my breath as he passed by? You could bet his hand was tangled in my hair and my head was about to become one with the cupboard. Yelled back at him as we went for a walk together? His hand clenched my wrist with all its might and I felt like my bones could burst through my fingertips with each second he held it.
I looked out the window as I recalled. It was a sunny day, the beautiful flowers reaching over the fence from the neighbor's - their - garden. I opened the windows to soak up the sweet scent of lavender and lilac that the wind rolled over and waved around from side to side, north to south, east to west. As I savored the fresh fragrance, I caught a glimpse of my face in the surface of the glass. Two bright blue beads staring back at me and my uncombed hair framing my face. Nothing much has changed in my appearance, except my once chubby face thinning and sharpening with time and my shoulders growing wider. I was never lucky with my teeth, though - one of my canines grew over the incisors and made it look like a clumpy fang of sorts, as if I took a sucker punch to the jaw. It was a big insecurity of mine present even when I was a child and would spend hours in front of the mirror sometimes, making grimaces and running my tongue again and again over the bulging mass of teeth. I've kind of started ignoring it while growing up, but I can't say it's something I like about myself either.
After getting dressed, I headed towards my father's office. The hallway of our villa was long and quite plain for such a big, fancy house. Most gilded decorative motifs on the cupboards faded and a lot of paintings were removed, leaving behind rectangular grayish stains and nail holes. My footsteps were now muffled by the thick dark blue carpet spreading itself from the entrance to the small altar at the end of the hallway. "Altar" is how my father calls it, yet to me it was just a worn-out vanity with empty photo frames scattered on the desk, its drawers locked and the mirror dirty. I swore I saw him inspecting something in front of it, but maybe I was just imagining things.
At 11 a.m. I was already knocking at his door and inhaling the smell of printer paper, disgustingly expensive coffee and polished wood. Although the sun was shining and the window was open, he remained sat at the edge of his table, the shadows looming not over him, but with him. Knowing what follows next, I went and sat myself across the table. As I pulled my chair closer to the edge, I heard him whisper:
"No no no, come sit over here. We're going to do it a bit...differently today."
Not moving a bit, he just nodded towards a leather chair to his right. Taking my time, I scooted over to him and forced myself to look into his eyes.
"Did you eat today?"
"Not yet. I kind of slept over."
"That's no good." He stared into the textured glass of the cabinet door. As I grew up he started to get worse at talking to me. Eventually, my daily visits to his office became unavoidable small talks.
"Your exams?"
"What's with them?"
"You passed all of them?"
"Yeah."
"Wonderful to hear. Great." It was, as always, insincere. Whenever he complimented me there wasn't a change of tone or mood, he said it just as flatly as he said everything else. In fact, he kind of treated it like a chore.
"What's next?"
"Hm?"
"I mean, what's next after high school? I already passed everything in advance. Am I going to receive college education at home?"
It seems like that triggered a spark in him - he leaned forward, our faces now at equal height.
"I actually wanted to talk to you about that today. I already thought about that and, well, the answer is quite clear. You'll be inheriting my business."
And that's when it hit me - at that moment, I realized that in my 17 years of age I never thought about what my father does for a living. He had a lot of fancily-dressed people over often and he was rich, so it was clear to me that his job paid well. What he worked on, I never researched. When I was younger, I used to lay down on the staircase and watch over him from behind the balusters. I saw his men bring in various oil paintings, collections of coins and stamps, marble busts of emperors and philosophpers, ceramic medallions and other artistic pieces that I thought of as simply luxurious and over-the-top decoration. What I do remember clearly, though, is that whenever the two of us would go outside together he had to run some errands in the museums or galleries. From my cut-up memory I deduced that my father was some sort of curator.
"What business? You never really... talked about your job. Besides, you're not that old! I don't understand why you would retire at fifty-something. And even with my advanced education, I don't think I have the qualifications."
"Showing you the ropes is the easiest part."
"I barely just finished high school. You really do have high expectations for me, huh?"
"Why wouldn't I? You're my son, after all. Everything is already planned out."
"But your career is already quite great. Why drop it now during the golden years?" I realized mid sentence that I was treading on scarily thin ice. One badly formed statement and my shirt collar is going to be in his hands. Sulphur had his tolerance and his boundaries, and once they were stepped over a few too many times, things could get ugly. Very, very ugly. I was no exception to this.
He clicked his tongue. "Everything has its own reason. It's not important for you to know why, and all you need to do is sit up straight and get your hands on this opportunity. You know well how many grubby little hands would fight tooth and nail just for a shabby position in my field. You should be more grateful and tone down your curiosity a bit."
"If it's not important, then I assume it's not harmful either. Is there any problem with me knowing why?"
"Stop being so nosy." He murmured.
He suddenly got up and shut the half-open window.
"Do not question my actions. I am your elder, and elders ought to be respected. Soon, you'll be sitting in my office chair, signing papers and sorting them instead of me. Phone calls and documents. It's everything you can get hang of in a minute. Now, shut your mouth and go to your room. You're free until tommorrow. 11 a.m. as usual."
I didn't go to my room. I didn't even flinch when he spit his venomous insults at me. Instead, I sat perfectly still, my eyes still locked with his.
"You sound very disturbed. What is it that is so unimportant that you don't want to tell me?"
This was the sentence that made Sulphur Mélodis snap.
~
"Listen to me Desire, listen to me!" He growled as his enormous hands reached for my neck. I writhed and fought back and even bit, but as long as his hands were choking me, he had absolute control.
"Let me go, you fucking jackass!" I spat into his face, fueling his anger even more. It worked counterproductively - he pulled me closer and closer.
"Listen. I don't have much time left. It's not important. You just have to-"
"JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
His voice became quieter. I could hear him breathe heavily between each word.
"It's them. They're onto me. Turned their backs on me. Backstabbed me. Once they find me, I'm dead meat."
"Who?"
"Them. The superiors. They decided I'm not good enough for them anymore. They can't benefit from me anymore. They think I'm a traitor. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, Desire. They know where I live. Who I am. What I do. They know about you. They won't spare you if you get in their way."
"Wha... what will they do?"
"The worst thing you can imagine. Listen. I'm their primary target. As long as they get me down, they're going to be satisfied. If they break into the villa, hide somewhere. Stay quiet and once they leave, get out and lock yourself into the house. Take over my business with a nickname or something. A codename. Whatever. You have the butlers to assist you. They're already informed."
My stomach knotted. I felt sick.
"When? What? Why? I- how?"
"It could happen in a week. In a month. Eliminate me outside the house. Poison me. Stab me. Electrocute me."
He gulped, and for the first time in my life I saw something in his eyes. It wasn't guilt or sadness, it was fear. Pure, unfiltered fear seeping out of this giant of a man. If he wasn't who he was, I'd pity him.
"Listen. There is a boy. Out there. Waiting for you. He might arrive in a week or so. Take care of him. Take care of yourself. Teach him well. I trained you your entire life for this moment. You are the perfect heir. My perfect ... mirror image."
"What boy? Please! Tell me more! I need to know!" I couldn't let all the things I needed to know die with this man, the man who made my house a birdcage.
"PLEASE! Tell me about him! Tell me about my mother! Who are they?"
There were so many questions and too little time for answers. Looking at him in that pathetic, vulnerable state, I could feel sorry for that man. I really could. But such strong emotions were torn away from me with his own hands, being in the way of his idea of the "perfect heir". It was a fleeting rush of love before I looked at him again and remembered who he really was.
"Your b-"
That were his last words whispered to me, before his brains splattered across my shirt, his blood flowed down my legs, his entire weight rested upon me. His lifeless corpse, a bullet carefully aimed and shot through the window, a fatal hit to the head. I never returned back to his cabinet after that day. Locked and in eternal darkness, the body of Sulphur Mélodis rot and bled for years, the blood melting into the wooden planks and the bullet resting in his skull forever - like a pearl inside an oyster.
~
The boy was staring at an invisible dot on the wall. He was thinking. He slowly bit his thumb, and then, hesitatingly, looked up at me.
"Is dad here?"
It was hard to look at him. The same silvery lock of hair, the same greyish-black eyes. He reminded me so much of him, but he was softer, still somehow radiating childhood innocence out of the features I grew to hate.
"No. Dad is gone."
He bit his thumb again. A habit since infancy, I supposed.
"And mom?"
"I... there isn't a mom. I never met my mom. She left when I was young."
"I hope she was a good mom. I had a good mom when I was at the orphanage. She used to scold me for reading books at night under faint light, though. She said it's because I was hurting my eyes and that I would go blind."
"Oh. That sounds... nice."
"Was dad good? I don't remember much about him."
I didn't want to trouble him with my own burden at such a young age, so I just waved my hand. "It's not important. He's not here with us anymore, anyway."
"What's your name? I forgot to ask you. Sorry."
"Desire. Yours?"
"Saphir. Apparently my dad gave me my name. I guess he likes giving odd names."
"...I guess."
I didn't know how to talk to him. He was well spoken, for sure, but prone to zoning out and thinking all by himself. He reminded me of myself when I was his age - it made everything hurt even more.
"What are we going to do now?"
"Well, I don't know. I can make you a room up there. I'm not that good at cooking either, but I have recipe books up there. And a butler."
"It's okay. You'll do a great job." His hand reached out for mine. I couldn't help it but feel incredible love for the little guy at that moment. Such a small gesture, but it placed him close to my heart. I've never met my half-brother before, but even with such polarizing emotions at first it felt like I knew him for a long time.
The butlers and maids greeted the two of us as we sat by the dining table. Instead of sitting on opposing sides like I did with my father, we sat right by each other.
I got reminded of them. My friend. At least used to be, for a month or so. It has been years since we met. I tried to push them out of my mind to make place for everything else that my father considered more important, but they never really left. It was an unstable relationship - to appeal to my father I villainized them, yet when it was too much to take I idealized their childish, innocent kind of love they selflessly embraced me with. And even considering the fact that they were living in the house right next to mine, I never built up the courage to knock on their door again.
"So at that orphanage... what did you exactly do?"
"Ooh. Lots of stuff. Played around, did some basic schooling. I also practiced some martial arts. A lot of it, actually."
"Ah. Interesting. I did lots of studying here when I was your age. I even did fencing."
"That's so cool! This villa house thing is huge, it looks quite pleasant."
"Cool". They flashed in front of my eyes immediately. I looked at my little brother, lost in thought and silently staring at the cook dicing the vegetables. A melty embodiment of all the good and bad people I knew, I grew to love him unconditionally and try my best to give him the childhood I lost.
~
The following paper is messier and wobblier than the other two. After inspecting it better, it becomes obvious that this one was torn away and was part of the first paper. Yet, it was crumpled in a ball and thrown in the corner of the room - just behind the writing desk. Did the author simply not like the way they wrote it, or was it too much for them to process?
~
He laid motionless in front of me. His bloodshot eyes were unfocused and his jaw was relaxed. He was all mine, and I could do whatever I wanted with him. Step on his skull again and again. Bash his head with his own cane and ruin his face with its silver tip. Slice his chest open. His organs were still in tact - I could donate them. Do a good deed.
As I headed for the cane, everything flashed right in front of me. Everything I forgot, was forgetting and will forget. What I should have and shouldn't have forgotten.
The bruised palm. The bruised knee. The bruised arm - the bruised everything.
I remembered how he found out my ankles were weak and wobbly. Whenever I did poorly during our study session he'd quickly sweep my feet with the cane and watch me helplessly fall down the flight of stairs. It brought him so much laughter that he started to do it even when I did well. When I cried and held onto his coat to get up again, he'd push me again until I got up on my own.
I remembered him holding the blade by my leg as I practiced my handwriting. The second my lettering got wobbly he'd push it into my skin, and if I cried he'd push it even deeper.
I remembered that the second my hair grew long enough, he used it to yank me towards him when I tried to run away from him. He pulled me so hard that I felt like my scalp was bleeding.
I remembered when he sliced my cheek with a razor in rage, all because I wanted to ask him a simple question. It took months for the scar to fully fade.
I remembered him grabbing a pair of scissors during one of our worst arguments, trying to snip at my skin.
I remembered him violently banging on my door for hours when I ran away from him and locked myself inside my room.
I remembered reading medicine books self initiatively because plasters weren't effective anymore.
I remembered wrapping the cuts with paper tissues and tape when I ran out of gauze.
I remembered too much.
I threw my abuser's cane at the wall, ran to my room and cried, cried like never before. Even when I made sure he wasn't breathing anymore, I couldn't muster up the courage to get into a one-sided fight against his cold, dead body. Freed from my shackles, I remained a coward.
~
#identity v#idv#idv headcanons#identity v headcanons#idv fanfic#idv imagines#joseph idv#idv joseph#truth and inference#photographer idv#idv photographer#joseph identity v#identity v joseph#joseph desaulnier#idv dm#identity v photographer#desire melodis#saphir melodis
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A Brother| Chapter 1
It was 12’ noon at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in Liyue. Hu tao, the owner of the Wangsheng Parlor, was doing her dutys. Checking for service, polishing the coffins, ect. Zhongli, Hu Tao’s employee, walks through the door.
“Miss Hu Tao, the supplies have been ordered” Zhongli says in a smooth and calm tone.
Zhongli was a tall man that stood at about 6’2, dark brown hair fading to a ember color. He had Ember eyes the color of Geo. He was in his late 20s
“Thanks Mr. Zhongli!” Hu Tao said preppy as always.
Hu Tao was a young girl, she was about 5’6. she had long brown hair that faded to red in low pig tails. She had Orange Red eyes. She was in her early 20s.
“Uh, is Miss Hu Tao here?” A man asked.
“Thats me! Do you have a new client?” Hu Tao asked eyes sparkling.
“Uhm..No you have a letter..” The postman said nervously.
“Aww, thats good to I guess” Hu Tao grabbed the letter out of the postmans hand. The Postman bolted out the door.
Hu tao became quiet as she read the letter. Her mouth open agape.
“Miss, Hu tao..is everything ok?” Zhongli asked worried for his boss.
“He’s coming home…” Hu Tao said her voice a gentle whisper.
“What was that?” Zhongli asked raising an eyebrow.
“He’s Coming Home!!! Can you believe that!!! After 5 years of him going around Tyvet hes coming to Liyue!!!” Hu Tao beamed jumping around the office.
“It sounds like wonderful news, but who exactly?” Zhongli asked, crossing his arms.
“My older brother, Y/n!” Hu tao beamed as she showed Zhongli the letter.
“Dear Hu Tao,
Apologies for the late letter, ive been busy these past few weeks. But I decided im finally coming home. By the time you get this ill be already on mu way home.”
-love Yn”
Zhongli read the letter carefully.
“That must be exciting” Zhongli voice was gentle but it was hinted with some curiosity.
Hu tao nodded happily.
“Oooo! I should make him his favorite dish! Mushroom pizza!” Hu tao gushed.
“That sounds nice, but we still have work to do” Zhongli sighed.
“Hehe oh right” Hu tao chuckled nervously.
It was now 4’ noon, Hu tao went out to pass out flyers, which was a weird way to spread the palor but it works.
Zhongli was at the desk, checking schedules, writing notes, ect. Foot steps were heard and stopped in front of Zhongli.
Zhongli’s head trailed up and a unfamiliar but similar man looked at Zhongli.
The man stood around 5’8, he had brown fading to red hair, he had similar flowerly red orange eyes. He had clear eye bags and his eyes were dull.
“Hello, welcome to Wangshen Funeral Palor” Zhongli said with a smile.
“Wheres Hu tao?” The male asked almost in a demanding tone.
Zhongli’s eye brow furrowed.
“She is out right now, but I can help you” Zhongli said keeping up the calm tone.
“No, I’ll just wait for to be back.” The male mumbled standing of to the side.
Zhongli was about to say something on how she was out, again.
“Y/n!?” Hu Tao was standing in the door way with a huge smile.
“There you are” The Male now known as Y/n stood up properly.
Hu tao ran and jumped into the males arms.
“Its sooo good to see you again!” Hu Tao laughed.
Zhongli watched with confusion, the same man who seemed so dull just a minute ago now, seemingly full of life.
“Oo! Right Y/n! This is Zhongli, my employee!” Hu Tao let go of the male and turned to Zhongli.
“Hu tao getting help, thats something i’d never expect from Miss. ‘im going to do everything myself’” Y/n chuckled his voice soft when talking about his sister.
“Hey! Give me a break I was 6!” Hu Tao huffed playfuly.
“It wonderful to meet you Mr. Y/n” Zhongli said in a well matter tone despite their first meeting.
“Just Call me Y/n, I don’t do that fancy Mr and Misses talk” Y/n scratched the back of his neck.
“Hey Zhongli can you close up? I want to take my brother to dinner before taking him to the inn, though he could just stay with me” Hu Tao huffed.
“Hu, as your brother i’m going to say this in the nicest way possible, your sleep walking makes it very hard to sleep cause you would just stare at me” Y/n stiffled a laugh remembering waking up to hu tao in his face as a kid.
“I’m not that bad! anymore” Hu tao mumbled the last bit.
Zhongli had to admit it was quite the show to watch the siblings banter.
“I’ll close up you go enjoy your dinner.” Zhongli said with a slight bow.
“Thank you! Come on Y/n theres this great place..” Hu tao and Y/n slowly faded as they left.
Zhongli began straighting up for the night.
It was now 9’10 at night Hu Tao was walking with Y/n to the Wangshu Inn.
“Theres an adeptus staying at the Wangshu Inn, Xiao maybe you’ll meet him!” Hu tao burst with excitement.
“Mm, I doubt it, I heard Adetus can be pretty private, unless he thinks I’m a threat then maybe” Y/n look to the side.
“You? A threat? Pffft- People would be crazy to think you would do harm” Hu Tao started to laugh.
‘Its best she doesnt know then’ Y/n thought as they got to the Inn.
“Room under Y/n” Y/n spoke to the lady at the desk.
The lady nods “here your key, room is up the stairs and to the right”.
“Thank you” Y/n slightly bowed his head and turned to hug his sister. “I’ll be over once I get up” Y/n smiled.
“Okay! I’ll probably be at the palor but I wont be free till 2 so go look around Liyue! Theres so much to see!” Hu Tao smiled brightly.
Y/n chuckled and nodded before waving goodbye and heading to his room. Y/n shut the door before letting out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding in. Y/n looked at this hand, a faint red mark layed in his palm. He closed it.
Y/n saw the bathroom and thought a nice warm show would clear his head.
By the time he got out it was around 10’. Had he been in there that long? Y/n thought still lingered so he walked out of his room quietly. He headed up the second pair of stairs to the deck.
He got to the rail and stared for a bit, thoughts that lingered slowly left as Y/n got comfort from the outside air. That was intill he felt a pair of eyes staring at him from the roof. Y/n turned around and looked up to fine, no one. Y/n turned back and gazed over the field, it felt so familiar but so different.
It was late so with one last deep breath Y/n wondered back to his room feeling the same stare on his back once more. Once his head hit the pillow he fell asleep.
“Y/n?” A young girl called out. “Whats going on?” The girl asked as she watched the flames of there old town dance. Y/n just stood watching there whole life burning.
#hu tao my beloved#hu tao platonic#zhongli#genshin impact morax#Platonic#Brother#raiden shogun#genshin impact#mature themes#Read at own risk#genshin impact fiction#Spotify#hu tao x male reader#hu tao#zhongli x male reader#Mrsmileswrites#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x male reader
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October 2023 Art
for some reason i wrote a novel under the cut, for those of u actually reading, thank u for being so patient x
vvv dates + info under the cut vvv
1 - 03/10/2023 : another of my faves of last year, was trying to get better at drawing trainz, so just Edward and Toby hanging out, displaying the duality of old men x
2 - 04/10/2023 : got a new puter! one of the first things i set to doing after getting set up was to draw a Ru, of course, it was also just me trying to get used to the new MS paint..... it feels very odd
3, 4, 5 - 06/10/2023 : part 1 of redrawing random pics i have of Edward on my phone with my human version of him, this was really fun tbh, and the third here is one of my fave drawings of the year probs.. like sir.. those look heavy... what big uhh.. Glasses.. you have
6, 7, 8 - 07/10/2023 : part 2! i think i just like drawing his face... dare i say this train is cunty or will that get me exiled
9 - 08/10/2023 : something stupid i thought of and couldn't get out of my head for days so had to draw it..... little johnny from oingo boingo's only a lad, doing what he does best, fantasising about radios he wants oh so bad and running people down with a boyish craving for blood.. based on that 1 meme of the guy driving and thinking of a thing then making that insane face
10 - 09/10/2023 : based on that 1 silly vargskelethor song (that could not be less specific), had Shed 17 on the brain and was reminded of the milk song where the skeleton comes out.. thomarse dank 2 much milk and died..
11, 12 - 10/10/2023 : chooshada again :333 first a little doodle on my phone bc i was wondering about her livery, i do think she'd have originally been NER apple green but then painted NWR colours, butttt with a twist... coz i can do whatever i like... the twist is just that she's painted dark blue rather than a sky blue, coz its more her colour x
ALSO MS paint shada, wanted to draw her more uh, idk, detailed ig, idk i love this one, it also served as more train practice
13 - 13/10/2023 : previous one, but with COLOUR!! not much 2 say other than that shes very cute
14 - 18/10/2023 : saw a tweet abt old photos of engine crews posing with their crashed locos and how the NWR crews would do that, made me think of how, if Toni was (choo)shada's driver, she'd do that.. probably x .. very like her to slay in the midst of a terrible accident
15 - 22/10/2023 : predictably, i have some playlists for the ttte engines, one for Diesel which is notable here, so uhh, i have the scrapped song from the lorax "biggering" in there, bc i see it as like a Duck vs Diesel song, ik im surpassing several layers of cringe here but hear me out ok... i drew this at 2am coz i couldn't stop thinking of Duck lecturing Diesel
16, 17, 18 - 25/10/2023 : speaking of playlists, think i was listening to my Robin one here, and felt like drawing him, i have "the land of make believe" in there, which ive always found to be an oddly haunting song, so this is semi based on that, though that wouldn't be apparent if i hadn't just told u x .. this looks like vent art but tis not i was just having fun
also tiny chooshada, i was in the middle of writing something which i have literally Just remembered now and i was writing a scene where Ru is stuck between some characters who shes not looking forward to working with bc they're about to bicker the whole fuckin time and one of them thinks shes a dick, so i drew her being sad that shes forced to work with morons..... and speak of the devil, 3rd drawing is here with 2 of the aforementioned morons :D i think D+D take a liking to her, they're just a little obnoxious (love them for that)
19 - 27/10/2023 : a quick(ish) digital thing of Chooshada again that i did on the side of another project, more engine drawing practice he he, she'll be out of proportion and lacking detail but really it was just to not be too hard on myself about that, it did help i think to understand how to draw her more, plus just look at her lil face... also she has a number here, doesn't mean much other than 8 being her lucky number, other than 11, like those are just her numbers, suppose i could have it be 1188 to ref her bday, idfk x
#iko's shit#2023art#Oct2023#tw blood#tw gore#fine art#digital art#original art#fanart#original character#ocs#ocs:rushada#ocs:robin#oingo boingo#ttte#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#ttte humanised#ttte edward#ttte toby#ttte thomas#ttte duck#ttte donald#ttte douglas#edward the blue engine#toby the tram engine#duck the great western engine#donald and douglas#WCBF#YM&V
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