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#had a diary that i would like pour my heart into and the other day i came across it
naturecalls111 · 7 months
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Me, consuming any other media ever: how can I make this about zosan
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1-800-imagines · 5 months
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red dress. | rafe cameron
part 1
set in season 3, episode 1! part of this is literally the scene word for word with dialogue LOL
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you had been manhandled all the way into your house and ushered upstairs before you could even really get a good look. an armed guard had left a hand print on your arm from him gripping you. once you were finally in the room and he let you go, you just scoffed, "great manners."
he showed no emotion and just said, "dinner at eight. I'd clean up."
"can't you just tell me what I'm here for?" you said in a frustrated tone. after he just closed the door. you tried the handle and groaned - it was locked.
the bedroom was nice and had everything you would need including multiple of the same red dresses in different sizes with a note that said - pick your size.
after a while, you decided to put it on - not wanting to piss off whoever was keeping you captive. you were sitting on the bed, dressed way too fancy for a dinner downstairs when there was a knock and then the door opened and a woman stepped inside, "he's ready."
you followed her out of the bedroom and down the stairs, trying to get a glimpse of anything that might be useful for an escape.
the woman showed you into the dining room and you looked around, spotting a man with a buzz cut standing with his back towards you. he was pouring a drink - most likely liquor. "hey - uh," you said unsure what to say to your potential captor.
your heart flipped when the man turned around. it was rafe. it was your fucking ex-boyfriend.
rafe's eyes lingered on your body, scanning you up and down as he saw you. it was like his brain hadn't fully processed who you exactly were.
"you're fucking involved in this shit? what? did you have your dad kidnap me so i'd be forced to talk to you??" your tone was harsh. you hadn't spoken to rafe since you broke things off and jumped off the ship with john b and sarah, obviously picking their side. it had broken your heart to do it but what rafe tried to do to sarah - that wasn't the man you loved.
"what the hell are you talking about? why are you here anyway? trying to fuck up my deal?" rafe said gruffly while walking towards you.
"I wondered if your little reunion would cause sparks, you know." said a voice from the other room. your attention snapped towards the other man.
"who are you?" rafe asked, his tone shifting and his body moving closer and in front of yours.
"me? my name is carlos singh. it's a pleasure to meet you, mr. cameron," your stomach dropped at the fact that the unknown man knew rafe by name.
"and ms. y/l/n, I do apologize for the rough tactics to bring you in today." as mr. singh said that, rafe's eyes scanned over your body, his teeth gritting when he noticed the bruises on your arm. "come, I don't bite." he continued, turning on his foot to go into the other room.
before you could follow, rafe blocked the entrance and whispered, "did he hurt you?" his hand brushed against your arm.
"I'm fine rafe, but I want to leave here - like now." you said softly and continued to walk into the next room.
you could tell rafe wanted to kill the man for anyone putting his hands on you, but now wasn't the time. "rough tactics? what about me then?" rafe was seething and after every sentence his jaw clenched harder.
"yes, mr. cameron, false pretenses for you, but the ends justify the means, I'm afraid."
---
after sitting through singh's speech about what he wanted, him interrogating you about the diary, which you had denied knowing its whereabouts vehemently, he had walked you and rafe back to the room where you had been held earlier.
after opening the door, singh then threatened the two of you with only having one day to tell him where the diary was and that there was going to be a demonstration at the window. and with that, he left the door locking behind him.
while rafe banged on the door, you walked over to the window and pushed the curtains out of the way. rafe joined you, "who the hell is that guy?"
"he's the guy that got us off the island." you murmured, "his name is jimmy portis. he was trying to help me." your stomach dropped, yet again, when singh pulled out his gun as he looked up at the window towards you and rafe.
you and rafe both jumped when the gun fired and you turned instinctively into his chest. his arms wrapped around you and he put his face against your forehead. he put one hand in your hair on the back of your head to pull you closer.
"baby, I need to know, the diary, do you have it?" he asked, pulling away and tilting your face up towards him.
you hadn't even realized that he had called you baby at first, but there were bigger things than that going on so you just shook your head no, which was the truth, and said, "no I don't have it."
rafe nodded and kissed your forehead, "I'm so sorry. for everything."
comment if you want to be tagged for this fic OR my obx tag list in general!!
keep an eye out for part 2 where it's the rest of their night!!!!
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sorrowsofsilence · 6 days
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Desolate Love • N.S
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Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader (oneshot)
Words: 1.7k
Warnings: Angst, angst, angst.
Prompt: His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love; but you weren't meant to be sung for, even if you loved each other first.
Authors note: I have never written anything like this publically before, but I'm feeling a little sad and angsty lol. I hope you enjoy the words that came from my heart. (ps. I know many on the taglist are here for smut, and this isn’t smut, but I'm just re-using tags since I'm not sure who enjoys what! Pls let me know if you don't want to be tagged in all things!!)
Tags: @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86 @whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @gretaswhore28 @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13 @somewhere-diamond @talialovesmiw @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak @darkmxgician
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No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.
He got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.
A reminder of what once was.
A reminder of what would never be.
You wrote unspoken words in your diary, quarrels that would never be said aloud.
Words that confessed years of feelings, years of silenced affections.
As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.
Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours.
He consumed your mind; the way he smiled at you the day you met; his contagious laughter that danced through the walls in grandeur.
“Is this Henderson’s gym class?”
The voice behind startled you, and you turned, meeting a pair of ochre eyes. The stutter that left your lips caused your face to warm in embarrassment, as the messy brunette locks that fell across the boy’s features left you captivated.
“Yeah, I think so?” Your brows furrowed as you second-guessed yourself, even though you double-checked the classroom timetable a thousand times.
His lips spread into a dancing grin, his slight buck teeth chewing playfully on his bottom lip in shyness.
“Cool,” He stuck out his hand, long fingers wrapping around yours, “Noah.”
“Y/N,” You returned the smile, your ears heating as his October gaze never left yours.
You pulled away, briefly glancing down at his shirt, immediately excited.
“You like blink-182?”
Noah looked down at his shirt, pointing at it, “Oh yea, I fucking love them.”
He glanced up at you, fixated, “Do you?”
You nodded excitedly, “They’re probably my favourite band at the moment, other than the 1975, and Oasis, and-” you began to ramble, but stopped, afraid to embarrass yourself anymore than you felt you had.
Something flickered within his eyes at that moment; something you never noticed.
“Wonderwall?” He asked.
A song that became yours.
The burned CD he gave you collected dust in the corner of your room, aged and scratched from years of use. The disk player sat untouched, left as a painful reminder from when the tunes that played were melodies of hope; melodies of elation.
These feelings of grief consumed you, engulfing you into an overwhelming feeling of remorse.
The waves of heartbreak came and left, nostalgia shielding your anguish when memories flooded in.
No one ever filled you with such devotion and desire as he did; and throughout the naivety, you could have sworn it to be love.
It was the way Noah would shout your name from across the room when he saw you, or the way he would cover your eyes, asking you to guess who.
Every time you would laugh, placing your hands on top of his, saying you weren’t sure.
But you knew every time.
His long fingers would twirl your hair when he sat behind you in class, tugging the strands playfully before running his nails over your scalp.
“I just like your hair,” He’d say.
And whenever he picked up his guitar in the band room, he would strum the chords to your song, as if inviting you to listen to his lyrical confessions.
His texts consisted of using silly nicknames, and an overload of emojis to express his feelings. It was over the top, almost as if he was afraid he never came across as genuine enough without them.
Late night conversations went on for hours, laughing at the random stories and memories exchanged through flirtatious banter. You wanted to tell him everything about you, and learn everything about him.
You wanted to know his favourite colour, and what cologne he wore. His goals and dreams intrigued you, his fears and dislikes alluring.
You began to like the things he did, just to have something to talk about. You watched the shows he recommended and googled the things you didn’t know. Anything for him.
Noah would tell you how proud he was of you if you shared an accomplishment, or how pretty you looked when you wore your hair down.
He told you he loved your sneakers, and the way your oversized sweaters engulfed your body.
“You could wear mine,” He said, “You look good in my clothes.”
He would grab your hands, drawing silly pictures in Sharpie. It always left you frustrated when the image of an scribbled smiley face barely faded with each scrub.
But really, you would stare at it in admiration, blushing at the thought of his fingers brushing against yours.
“You like him, don’t you?” Your best friends pried, causing you to flush in embarrassment.
“He doesn’t like me like that,” You sighed, shaking your head, “We’re just friends.”
Just friends don’t play with each others hair like that.
Just friends don’t call each other pretty.
Just friends don’t text each other all night long.
“Is it easier to just pretend?”
Time went on, and your heart fluttered at every smile Noah shared with you, and at every word you exchanged.
The daily good morning and goodnight texts left you melting, succumbing your heart to his as he claimed it for his own.
Deep down, you knew he liked you more than just a friend. The way he treated you was special; there was no way that was how friends treat friends.
N: “Hey, your crush 100% likes you back.”
You: “Uhh hey? How would you know?”
N: “Well, I know who you like.”
You: “I guarantee you don’t.”
N: “Hmm, but I do? And I know he likes you back.”
You: “Sure Noah, haha. Go to bed.”
N: “I’m just saying. He likes you. Goodnight Y/N <3”
With a spiralling mind, your heart hammered.
Did he know how you felt about him? Did he just confess his feelings?
Hope.
It wasn’t until he pulled you into the storage closet a week later, that sorrow knocking down any previous signs of faith.
Torn.
“Y/N, I just wanted to talk… but I know you have feelings for me.”
His eyes bore into your own, sorrowful and sullen.
“Look,” he began, grabbing your hands in his, eyes glancing at your entwined fingers, “I- I just promised myself to someone else. My girl- ex-girlfriend, is coming here, and the reason we broke up was because I transferred.”
He began to ramble, unable to look into your eyes as he confessed his worries. Your heart began to shatter as you forced a small smile. Pulling your hands from his you placed them on his shoulders, causing him to pause.
“Noah,” You said softly, the words leaving your mouth a blatant lie, “It’s ok. I understand.“
His shoulders fell as he watched you. He brought you into a hug, squeezing you against his body, holding onto you.
Ludicrous. Empty.
You cried, your knees held to your chest in comfort as a shield from the feelings of abandonment. How could you be so naive?
You: “Just wanted to say thank you for telling me. I’m sorry if my feelings complicate things, I care about you a lot Noah.”
N: “I’m sorry, for everything. You mean a lot to me, and I care about you. ”
You: “If you knew who I liked all along… why did you say that my crush liked me back?”
It took him almost an hour to respond.
N: “Because I do like you Y/N. I like you a lot… but I promised myself to someone.”
The tears that fell from your face that night left you parched and broken, your world-shattering.
You found someone else a year later. Love that fulfilled your every need, someone to cherish you for you. It was someone who gave you everything; but your mind selfishly always wandered back to him.
You didn’t know that the day he found out you became spoken for, was the day he broke into a million pieces from a whole.
His heart was mutilated, head spinning with uncontrollable thoughts of regret.
How could he have let you slip through his fingers? All for some what-ifs?
He pretended to be happy for you.
Years passed, and you both grew. Both changed, both matured.
You got a ring, and Noah played in a band. You went to every show, you still showed up, even though you knew you were always a second choice.
He watched you the whole time as his fingers traced the strings of the guitar, and your heart yearned for him; screaming and aching and crying that you were just a body in the room.
It wasn’t until he found someone, that you told yourself it wasn’t healthy to fixate on past uncertainties.
It was rare you went to shows now. But when you did, you watched as he stood on that stage and sung; his smile brilliant and just for her.
But then you would meet his gaze, and you knew that the ochre was always for you. Forever yours.
His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love.
But you weren’t his: you weren’t mean’t to be sung for.
Some nights you called him drunk. You told him you missed him, that you wanted him to know you think about him all the time.
He told you he missed your voice, and how he wished you two still called.
He said he was happy you found someone to love you, because you deserved to be loved.
You knew he was lying.
It was the last time you talked, until you saw him sitting in the audience as you walked down the aisle, marrying a man you loved. A man who promised himself to you forever. A man who chose you first. A man who was not him.
Noah asked for your hand, he asked you for a dance. Your bodies swayed one last time in a synchronized beat, but just as friends; as desolate lovers.
You never listened to Wonderwall again.
Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours. You were meant to be happy now.
As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.
A reminder of what would never be.
A reminder of what once was.
Noah got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.
No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.
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joels-shitty-puns · 5 months
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The Key To Your Heart - Track 10
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader
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Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.
Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Panic/Anxiety Attack. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f). Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).
Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!
Word Count: 6.6k
Series List: Here!
Miss Track 9? Here!
Hi!!!! Once again I want to apologize for taking so long with this. I can't seem to ever stay awake to do anything. That being said, here it is! This is the last main chapter of our little lovebirds. There will be at least one, likely two bonus tracks coming soon though :) Also there's a smidge of Spanish in here from Pedro, but the translation is included in the end of the sentence. I took some Spanish classes back in the day but I don't speak it and had to use Google translate. So if it ISN'T right and you do speak Spanish, please let me know lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these little cuties on their first date. There's a lot, a lot, a lot of kissing in here (sorry...) and overall they're just grossly in love lol. Please let me know what you think, and if you've seriously read this far, I LOVE YOU! This is my first series, and honestly my first fic other than the one I wrote in my diary lmao. Like the reader, I am incredibly inexperienced so writing a relationship has been a bit of a challenge and half the time I don't believe the actual words I'm writing. But I really only started writing it as a way to write down my daydreams :) So to have support means the world to me, and hearing people comment/DM me saying how much they relate has meant so much and makes me feel a lot less alone, because ultimately, it doesn't matter how fictional it is, most of reader's feelings are my own. To anyone else in the same boat, I get you! Hang in there. I think there's a Pedro out there for us all. Someday. Anywho, pardon my ramble. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it. ❤
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The next morning, you woke up and stretched your limbs, rolling over in your comfortable bed as the sunshine poured in through the window. At the shuffling of your body, Skipper groaned, wiggling a little in bed, nearly shoving you off the edge. You reached for your phone, blinking through your sleep a couple times before seeing a text from Pedro. “Good morning beautiful! I can't wait for our date today. I was thinking maybe we could start around 2:30 and spend the day together, if you'd like. But if that's too much, we can just make it a dinner date. Up to you which you would prefer. I understand either way. Love you ❤️”
He wants to spend the whole day with me!? And he sent me a good morning text and called me beautiful? Then signed it with a heart and love you?!!!! How did I get this man?
Your grin eclipsed your face, making you squint. If Mr. Grumpybutt weren't sharing the bed with you, you'd probably squeal and kick your feet. Tapping your phone screen, you typed out a reply. “Morning handsome ❤️ I would love nothing more than to spend the day with you. I love you too!” You sent the message before crawling out of bed gently, receiving a dirty look from Skip. 
“Alright Grump. Go back to bed. Geez,” you laughed. If looks could kill, you thought. He turned back on his side, letting out a grumble and sigh, resulting in a laugh from you. Acts like he pays rent and works 40 hours a week…
You took a relaxing shower, making sure to be all nice and fresh for your date with the man of your dreams. While brushing your teeth, you noticed he had replied. “Great, I can't wait. I'll be at your place at 2:30. :)”
“Can't wait to see you. What do you have planned? I'm wondering how to dress.”
“Wear whatever you feel good in, baby. I'm sure you'll look amazing. Probably something casual you can walk around comfortably in for the day. Maybe something a little dressier for the evening, but you don't need to carry it around. We will make a stop at your place before and you can change”
Wow he really has this planned out.
“What have you got planned, P? This sounds elaborate. You know you don't need to put in all that effort, I'm already yours ❤️”
“You deserve the world, my love.”
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Dressed in a pair of leggings and a light sweater, you felt reasonably cute while still being comfortable for whatever activity Pedro had in mind. Plus, with the crisp November air, you would be nice and warm. You were just finishing tying your sneakers when your doorbell rang. 
You opened the door to find your handsome boyfriend standing on your step, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. “Mi amor,” he handed you the roses, kissing your cheek and hand. “Thank you Pedro,” your cheeks heated. “Come in,” you pulled his hand across the doorway towards the living room. Skipper pushed past you to investigate, causing Pedro to drop your hand.
“Well there he is! That handsome boy!” Skipper’s tail wagged and his butt wiggled as Pedro crouched to give ear scratches. “Oh, I love you too,” Pedro answered when Skip kissed his face frantically. A fit of giggles erupted from Pedro, making your heart swell with joy. He has the cutest laugh, and the fact that your dog is causing it was surreal. 
“You're just a beautiful boy! Aren't you?! Hermoso, igual que tu mamá,” he held Skipper’s face, kissing his nose. (Beautiful, just like your mama)
Your chest was filled with butterflies. Holy shit, he's charming. “Thank you, Pedro,” you said in a whisper, not even sure if he would hear. Turning his head from your dog, Pedro looked up at you, giving you a gentle smile; but the eye contact was quickly torn away when Skipper pressed a needy paw to Pedro's chest. Both of you now giggling, Pedro continued to pet Skipper, stopping to give him a hug and some more nose kisses.
“Alright. I gotta ask…” you prompted, causing Pedro to turn his head towards you again. “Are you just dating me to hang out with my dog?” You smirked.
Pedro turned back to Skipper, speaking in a low voice. “She's catching on to us buddy. We've been made.” You burst out laughing, Skipper looking over at you as if his plan really had been foiled.
Pedro gave a final pat on Skipper’s head before standing and walking over to you. “Nonsense,” he pecked a kiss to your lips. “I do love that sweet boy of yours,” he replied before turning his face to whisper in your ear. “But I'm absolutely enamored with you, Mamacita.” The hair on your neck stood as a chill rushed down your spine. You bit your lower lip, and he stared back into your eyes, leaning in for a passionate kiss. 
“You look beautiful,” he tucked your hair behind your ear.
“You look rather handsome, yourself,” you replied. His hair was brushed back and to the side, his curls neatly swept and threatening to break free around his face. You wondered whether he asked for help to make his hair look extra nice for your date or if he styled it himself.
Running your fingertips over his patched salt and pepper beard, your hands found the small heart shaped patches near his chin. You brushed your thumb over his jaw before leaning in to press a kiss on the bare skin, causing his eyes to close as he let out a sigh. The whiskers tickled your cheeks as you continued kissing up his jawline, back across his cheek, and on his nose before pulling away to look into his eyes.
He opted to not wear glasses today, allowing you a closer look into his deep brown eyes which were softening under your gaze. “You ready to go, baby?” He asked you, his hand on your hip as he rubbed circles with his thumb.
“Absolutely,” you smiled. He wore a pair of dark jeans, tennis shoes, and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his forearm. He looked absolutely… incredible.
While you were grabbing your bag, he grabbed Skipper's leash. “Is Skipper coming too?” You asked, confused.
Skipper was twirling now, impatient to go somewhere.
“Sure is! Couldn't leave him out. But don't worry, you and I will have the night to ourselves,” he winked.
You looked downward, feeling shy and flushed. “Okay,” you giggled, clipping Skip to his leash and heading for the door.
“Do you want to take my car? You'll get dog hair and slobber in yours,” you offer.
“I don't mind! I love dogs,” Pedro replied, opening the door for Skipper to climb in the back seat. After closing the door, he opened the passenger door for you. Such a gentleman, you thought with a sigh, getting in and thanking him. 
As the car sped along, you looked over at your boyfriend driving the car. Boyfriend! That'll never get old… you thought to yourself. The air conditioning blew the few loose strands of hair on the top of his head, and his left hand gripped the wheel, making the veins on his hand prominent. With his right hand, he reached over, holding your left in his, resting on top of your thigh. 
He really did look beautiful. You couldn't help but stare at him as he expertly drove the car, hand flexing as he turned the wheel. His mouth pursed and he licked his lips, his tongue slowly jutting out to wet them. 
Damn, I want those lips on mine. That tongue in my mouth, you thought, feeling rather warm, despite the air conditioning swirling around the car.
“So where are we spending the day?” You asked, trying to quiet the flames of attraction licking at your pulse.
“It's a surprise! But we're almost there,” he answered, rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand.
Pedro looked in the side mirror and laughed. “Babe, look at Skipper.”
You looked to see him with his head out the window, ears and lips blown back with the wind, his tongue lolled out to the side and blowing with the speed of the vehicle.
You both chuckled before you warned him, “your car is going to be covered in slobbers, Pedro!” He gave another quick look to Skipper before replying. “That's okay. It'll help me remember this day until I wash it again,” he looked over at you and smiled. It felt so natural. So… domestic, the two of you sitting in the car, going on a date, him holding your hand while driving, and the two of you laughing at your dog in the back seat. It was just perfect. Everything you dreamed.
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He wasn't joking when he said you were almost there. It was only about five more minutes until the car pulled into the parking lot of the dog-friendly beach. 
Stepping out of the vehicle, you took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar smell of salty sea air and hearing the chatter of gulls. The breeze blew your hair gently, but the day was relatively warm for November.
After the three of you exited the car, Pedro opened the trunk, pulling out a large picnic basket and tote bag. “You really came prepared, didn't you? Pedro, this is really special. Thank you.” Your eyes felt teary and the smile you held was genuine. Nobody has ever put this much effort into anything for you. Other than him.
“You don't need to thank me. I want you to be happy and I want the three of us to have a nice day,” he added, pecking your lips.
“Wait.. Pedro,” you frowned. “It looks kind of crowded. Should I be nervous about paparazzi or anything?” Your stomach bubbled with nervous energy.
“Don't worry, sweetheart. Celebs come here all the time. I've come here before. If they do, they might take pictures, but usually it's pretty low-key here. Try not to worry too much. I want you to have a nice time,” he squeezed your hand affectionately.
“Okay. I trust you,” you smiled at him as the three of you walked towards the sand, finding a nice place to picnic. Pedro unpacked, laying down a large blanket before setting up the spread of sandwiches, veggies, and fruit. He offered you a cold drink from the basket and the two of you sat, using a metal stake to secure Skipper’s leash near your blanket. He flopped onto his side, content to be sunbathing with some of his favorite people.
The lunch consisted of peaceful conversations and laughter, learning more about each other despite having talked for several months now. It seemed you could never run out of conversation topics. But even in the quiet moments, it wasn't uncomfortable. It felt relaxing. You were both content being able to sit together in silence and just enjoy each other's company.
After your meal, you packed up the basket and headed for the car again to put the things away, opting for a walk unburdened by carrying items across the sand. Neither of you brought a swimsuit today, but despite the California sun, it was still November, and the Pacific ocean was never really warm, even in the middle of summer. That didn't seem to bother Skipper very much though. As the two of you walked hand in hand near the water, barefoot in the wet sand, he ran laps around Pedro holding him on the leash, occasionally splashing through the shallow water before joining close by his family again.
He would definitely need a bath later, but you didn't mind. He was happy splashing around, having a great day. You were happy walking with the man of your dreams, fingers intertwined together. Everything felt right. You weren't even nervous, despite the way Pedro looked like the most handsome man you've ever seen, or the fact that he was famous, and that you occasionally received stares from other beach goers. Instead of the usual first-date nerves people get, you just felt love.
“So,” he started excitedly, “Obviously I have most of this date planned, but I also wanted to check in with you and see if you had anything particular in mind that you wanted to do together.”
You thought for a second, letting a memory burn into your thoughts. “Well,” you began, "I don't want to sound like a total creepy fan or anything...” you added, cautiously. You kinda were, with all the photos of him you had saved on your phone (prior to deleting them before your first meeting in person). But that's not important right now, and he probably doesn't need to know that. Maybe it can be a funny story later.
Pedro laughed, that cute little wheezy laugh he does with his giant smile that makes your stomach do somersaults. Those same somersaults you've been getting since you first saw that smile on the screen and knew you were absolutely screwed until you got over this crush. Or, unexpectedly, when you walked hand-in-hand with him, like you were now.
“But…?” he pondered, looking down at you sideways, with a playful smirk and those big brown eyes that could make you lose your mind. They absolutely glittered in the sunlight right now, reflecting all the joy and love he felt for you.
“Okay maybe I'm a little creepy…” you nudged him with your side, still gripping his hand in yours as the two of you walked peacefully. The beach was crowded, but you and him, and Skipper, were the only ones here as far as either of you were concerned. There could be a loud scream and it wouldn't compare to the squealing in your mind. A firework show would simply feel like a projection of your sparks. A tornado couldn't sweep you off your feet as well as he could. 
“Is this where you tell me you've been watching me sleep through my window for the past three years or something?” He raised an eyebrow, playful smile still on his face as he licked his lips.
“What?” You squeaked, laughing. “No. I mean… I did have some pictures saved of you, and have maybe read a fictional story or two about you and your characters…” or a few thousand, you thought.
You cringed. Why the fuck did I say that out loud?!
Your cheeks felt hot and you diverted your eyes away from the man beside you, a nervous grimace painted across your mouth. He barked out a laugh, pulling you into his side for a hug. “Baby, you're cute. I don't mind that you used to read those. I don't even mind if you still do. No different than a book, right? Maybe it'll give us some fun date ideas.” He rested his head on top of yours innocently.
Oh, if only he knew the things you read.
“Right. Fun date ideas,” you smirked to yourself. He pulled away to look at you, eyebrow raising playfully.
“Sweetheart,” he interrogated in the same tone you use when Skipper steals a sock from the laundry, “what kind of stories are you reading about me and my characters, huh?” He lifted your chin to meet his eyes. You'd feel nervous from his tone if he didn't flash a smug, knowing grin at you.
“Oh, you know…” you shrugged. “Just the typical romance stuff,” you turned, facing him and resting your hand on his chest, tracing a circle over his heart with your finger. You felt his pulse pick up under your touch, and saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.
“What kind of thoughts are going through that pretty head of yours?” He asked, raising his brow while you continued tracing little hearts into his shirt with your index finger.
“Wouldn't you like to know?” You winked before removing your hand from his chest. Starting to walk away, you continued your earlier statement. “Anyway, as I was saying-”
“Oh, no you don’t,” he interrupted, laughing. “Don't think you're getting out of this conversation that easy,” he gently pulled your forearm, stopping your movement and sending you twirling into his arms once again.
“Maybe someday I'll tell you,” you giggled, booping his nose. 
“Someday? Why not tell me now?” He ran his thumb over your lip, eyes drifting down quickly before returning to your eyes.
“I'll show you the fanfics I read about you when I know you're stuck with me and you aren't going to run for the hills,” you laughed nervously, only partially joking.
His playful demeanor vanished before your eyes, turning into a look of… concern? Oh no. This is it. Where he realizes what a mistake he made. Where he says he doesn't want to be together. Where he breaks my heart.
He gently held your arm, rubbing soft strokes. “Honey. What are you talking about?” His soft brown eyes searched your face. You gulped, not wanting to make eye contact, but he again pulled your chin up, forcing you to look at him. “I…” you floundered for the words. “I don't want to scare you away.”
“Why would I be scared away?” he asked in almost a whisper, concern and sadness lacing his features.
“Because I just had this huge, huge crush on you. So, I read fanfics and I saved all your photos and I watched all your movies. I spent more time on social media looking for updates on you. Just so I could see you, or imagine what being with you would feel like. Like a total crazy person. An absolute psycho creeper.”
“Baby…” he brushed his thumb over your cheek. “You aren't any of those things. I actually think that’s kind of sweet. Although, it makes me a little sad thinking about the pain you must have felt, having these strong feelings and not having found each other yet.” He brushed your hair out of your face, settling his other hand on your waist before continuing.
“Feelings make us feel a little crazy sometimes, and although I never read fanfiction about you, or had any pictures to save, I would be lying if I said I didn't take a screenshot of us that first night you showed me your face.” He rubbed his neck bashfully.
Fanfic about me? What? If that even exists, I gotta see what people are saying…
“You did?” His admission surprised you, to say the least. He sighed before answering. “Yes. I had - have,” he corrected himself, “a pretty big crush on you too, baby. But I felt like I was betraying you in a way, taking a picture of you during our video chat. I just wanted to remember your face if I never saw it again,” he sighed.
“I fell in love with you the first time I heard your song... I heard you sing about your feelings and daydreams. So… you admitting about fanfiction and pictures isn't all that surprising.” You lowered your eyes in embarrassment.
“Hey, look at me.” He stroked your cheek. You looked up and he continued. “I took that picture because I had already fallen so head-over-heels for you that the first time I saw your face, I stopped breathing. Although I knew I wouldn't be able to get the image of you out of my mind, I couldn't risk forgetting the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.”
You dropped your gaze again, cheeks feeling a permanent state of warmth and butterflies dancing from your stomach to your chest. “You don't honestly mean that, Pedro.” You sighed. “I appreciate it, but there's no way. I really don't know what you could ever see in someone like me,” you whispered, barely audible. If you weren't standing so close, he would've missed it.
Instead of responding, he dropped his arms from your body. At the loss of contact, your heart sank. But when you lifted your head to meet his eyes, he was fishing around his pocket for his phone. Calling an Uber to leave? Your self-doubt pestered.
A few taps to his screen later and he held up his phone. There you were, sitting at your table in your favorite dress, with your favorite food and flowers on the table. You had the biggest smile on your face and in the bottom corner, you could see Pedro looking handsome as always, and absolutely smitten with you, the largest grin painted across his features.
At the sight of the image, your heart warmed. “See what you mean to me?” He asked, putting his phone back into his pocket. You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you,” you choked out, leaning forward to mold your lips to his. They fit together perfectly. Like they were made for each other. He pressed back before opening his mouth ever so slightly to lick at your lips. Matching his movements, your tongues met, dancing a waltz in exploration as he pulled you forward by your lower back, seeming as if trying to get as close as possible somehow.
As the two of you paused for air, he ran his hand further down your back, just barely grazing the dip of your spine where your torso meets your butt. He gave you a look, almost to determine your reaction, asking permission to let his hand continue. When you didn't back away, going as far as pulling him closer around his neck and leaning in for another kiss, he pressed his lips against yours in return and let his hands wander a little further down. When his hand wrapped around the cheek of your ass, you squeaked. This is new… and I like it, you thought. His whole hand fit across your cheek. His huge hands. You whimpered as he gave a squeeze, like he was claiming you as his own.
“I love you too.” He finally responded, pulling out of the kiss to search your eyes. “So tell me… what was this activity you wanted to add to our date? The one you fear makes you sound like a creepy fan?” He let out a small laugh, brushing your nose with his.
“This,” you replied, pressing another kiss.
“Kissing?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over your waist and resting his forehead to yours. “I think we've already been doing that, if I'm not mistaken.” He pecked your lips with his.
“Yes,” you kissed. “Well,” kiss. “Actually,” you pulled away enough to explain. “I read this interview you gave a few years ago about your ideal first date?”
“Yeah?”
“You said something about ‘a date that doesn't feel like a date. And
hopefully by the end, or throughout, very
good kissing.” You said, slightly cautious at your memorization, a bit nervous at the implication of what you're saying.
“Oh, is that what you want?” He flashed his eyes up to look at you, giving a devilish smirk. 
“Well, as someone who hadn't been kissed yet when I read it, I sorta lost my mind over it,” you laughed. “Obviously we've kissed before, but if it were up to me your lips would never leave mine,” you pressed your lips to his again.
“I think we should be able to make that happen,” he leaned in, brushing his nose against yours before pulling you in for another kiss. “Mmmm” you sighed, pulling away from his lips. “Never gets old.” You held his hand in yours, the two of you walking again down the beach.
“So I was thinking,” he began, “since you said you deleted all your photos, and I only have the one, maybe we could make some new photos… together,” the corner of his mouth turned up into a crooked smile. You grinned and nodded excitedly. “Please!”
Pulling out his phone, the two of you took several photos together. Some just smiling, some with Skipper, and your personal favorites, the ones with him kissing you. This will make for a perfect lockscreen, you imagined.
As you approached the edge of a rocky cliffside at the end of the beach, a sea lion barked in the distance. Skipper perked up, tilting his head and letting his ears twitch before returning a “boof.” The two of you laughed, ushering your dog away from making any wild ocean friends, and headed towards the boardwalk.
After grabbing an ice cream at a candy shop, you were so deep in conversation and laughter that you didn't notice the girl off to the side looking nervous. Slowly she walked over. Skipper put up his guard, but as she approached, she gave a kind wave. “Hi… I'm sorry to bother you. I'm a big fan of you both.”
“Us… both?!” You responded, surprised. Pedro shook his head with a laugh before thanking the fan.
“Of course! Your music is amazing! I listen to it on my way home from work everyday. I relate to so many of your songs.”
“Wow, thank you so much. I never expected to be recognized. You're so kind,” you replied honestly.
She asked for a photo with you both, and after obliging, she mentioned before leaving, “by the way, I was following all the news that went down. I just want to say I think it's cute how you guys got together and you make a really cute couple. Okay bye! Thank you again!!” And with that, she scurried away, leaving you to look at Pedro in surprise. “Wow” you replied with a laugh. “I can't believe I'm getting recognized,” you spoke quietly.
“How do you feel about it?” Pedro asked cautiously.
“I feel… okay, so far. This was a nice interaction, and even though people keep looking at us… being able to be out in public with you, to show my face, kiss you, hug you, hold your hand,” you gave his hand a squeeze, “it makes it all worth it.”
“I couldn't agree more,” he looked into your eyes, giving a soft smile. You matched his expression before his face slowly faded into concern. “Do you think work will go okay for you? Now that it's out there?”
You took a deep breath, walking a few more steps with him down the boardwalk before replying. “I don't know. I guess so. Or… I hope so at least. I've had a few of my friends and coworkers message me kind words of encouragement. So at least I'll have some people on my side, even if anyone else has something to say. But really, they shouldn't. They already know me. They knew I liked you,” you leaned into him. “So they should be happy for me if anything. And if not, then… well, they didn't deserve to be my friend anyway,” you shrugged. “But I think I might take some time off to figure out everything, career wise,” you added. Still leaning into his side, Pedro unlatched his fingers from yours, opting to reach his arm around you, giving your shoulder a squeeze and rubbing soft circles into your upper arm.
“Baby,” Pedro began, his voice vibrating through your body as he leaned his head on yours, “I’m so proud of you. Have I told you how strong I think you are?” Your cheeks warmed and you grinned. “Thank you Pedro,” you wrapped your arms around his waist to hug him. “But I don't think I'm that strong. I struggle to open pickle jars just like the rest of us,” you joked.
Pedro gave a quiet snort. “You know what I mean, honey,” he laughed. “I don't mean physical strength. Though I'm sure you could hold your own in an arm wrestle, I mean your ability to handle all of this thrown at you so quickly. Your ability to adapt and stay cheerful about everything. You just keep continuing to amaze me,” he pulled his head away from yours to meet your gaze. He smiled softly and you thanked him.
“I don't feel very strong,” you mumbled, breaking away from his stare. “You are, though. You're strong, smart, beautiful. Talented. Passionate,” he kissed your lips.
“Pedro, I love you, but you always seem to use all these words I don't feel. You see me as someone completely different than the way I've always seen myself. I want to believe you, but-” you sighed. “No one else has ever shown any indication that those are true,” you pouted, trying not to tear up.
“Hey, hey, whoa. Stop,” he halted your movements, pulling your chin up to his face. “Maybe they didn't see you, but I do. I feel all those things about you, and I'll spend every single day trying to prove it. I told myself I wouldn't get involved in romance a long time ago. But you changed all that.”
His chocolate brown eyes felt like they looked directly into your soul as he attempted to unravel your self-doubt. With a deep breath, you calmed enough to reply. “I love you, and I feel all those things for you as well. I'm glad you opened yourself up to love again.” You pressed a kiss to his lips. “I'm glad I met you” you sucked his lip. “I'm glad you're mine.” You kissed him again, deepening it, letting your tongue press gently to his and tangling together in passion before pulling away. 
Skipper had completely rolled into his side in wait for you both, between the conversation and the kissing. When the two of you broke away with matching grins, you looked over to see the sun had sunk down to the border between sky and ocean. In its wake was a bright orange sky, with pink, purple, and yellow streaks mixed in, as if a painter had gotten a bit too carried away with the paints. It was blindingly beautiful. 
Drawn to it like moths, the three of you walked towards the shoreline once again. You started to sit, but Pedro pulled you into his chest and fished for his phone. 
You gave him a confused look before he kissed you deeply and held out his arm. Unlatching his lips from yours with a pop, he held up his phone to you with a smile. In front of the vibrant ocean sunset, the silhouette of a couple shared a loving kiss. For once, it was you in this couple photo. You and the man you love.
You walked a little farther down the sand before sitting down just above the line of wet sand to admire the sunset. Pedro sat behind you, his legs on either side of you while you lay back into his chest. As you leaned into him, he hugged around your body, molding himself to you and tracing light circles into the skin on your arms, making the hairs stand on end and a shiver to run down your spine. 
Skipper flopped down nearby, clearly sleepy after a long walk and plenty of new smells. You ran a gentle hand down his back until you heard soft snores, then let him sleep, leaning your head on Pedro’s arm around your shoulder. “This sunset is beautiful,” you sighed, watching as the sun descended further below the ocean. It looked as if it was sinking deep below the surface, offering its light to the deep sea anglerfish miles below.
“It is amazing,” Pedro agreed, staring at you. “But my view is even better,” he added, and you could feel his eyes on the side of your face as he kissed your shoulder. You looked over at him, meeting his eyes, now sparkling with the orange of the sky. “Mine too,” you whispered, tilting your head to press another kiss to his lips.
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When the sun went down completely, you headed to the car and Pedro drove back to your place so you could get ready for dinner. 
Pedro sat on the couch patiently, stroking the fur on Skip’s back while he snoozed, his head in Pedro's lap. In your bedroom, you searched for the perfect outfit to wear, finally deciding on a nice dress and sweater.
Hopefully the restaurant isn't too cold, you thought.
Walking out of the bedroom, you joined your boys in the living room, only to be greeted by Pedro’s jaw hitting the floor. “Te ves tan hermosa mi amor,” he stuttered in Spanish, flipping languages so easily when he was overcome with emotion. (You look so gorgeous my love.)
He gently stood, sliding out from below your dog, before walking over to you. His eyes scanned your body from head to toe and back up again, making you feel nervous. “You… you look… wow.” He rubbed his hand over his chin, his thumb grazing his lip. His pupils grew, making his eyes ever-so-slightly darker. You shivered under his gaze.
At your shiver, his demeanor shifted. “Shit, are you cold? Baby, you look incredible, but if you're cold -” 
“I'm not cold, Pedro,” you interrupted.
“Are you sure? I saw you shiver.” He stepped towards you, touching your arm. A buzz crept under your skin like a live wire. “It wasn't from the cold…” you replied.
“It wasn't from-?” He paused, the realization hitting him as he understood your shiver wasn't from cold but frankly.. the opposite. “Oh,” he hummed, settling his hand on your hip and stepping closer.
Another chill.
“Feeling excited for our date, huh?” His voice caressed into your ear as he kissed his way down your neck, pausing to take gentle nibbles on the skin of your collarbone, neck, and chin, before pulling you in by your waist to press a deep kiss to your mouth, his tongue finding yours. 
This was starting to feel natural, kissing. And you two were getting good at it together. Knowing just the way his tongue moved, finding just the spot to make you whine. You even managed to find a spot of him that made a groan slip from his lips nearly every time. Kissing him was addicting, and you had no intention of kicking the habit.
He pulled away, pulling your lip with his teeth as you let out a slight hiss. “I'd love to do this all night, but I promised you dinner, my love,” he kissed your cheek, his beard scratching your face just right. You sighed, agreeing to dinner and taking a minute step back. It felt much warmer in the room than before, and you could tell he felt the same. As your eyes drifted across his body, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, clearing his throat. Slowly sweeping his eyes down his body, it was evident you both wanted something beyond dinner.
But the gentleman he is, Pedro stepped forward again, taking your hand and leading you toward the door. 
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Pulling up to the curb, Pedro opened your door for you before handing his keys to the valet. Linking his arm with yours, the two of you walked into an elegant Italian restaurant. He gave the waitress his name, and she led you back to a secluded room where a single booth sat.
The room was dimly lit, illuminated by candles and twinkling fairy lights. They lined the ceiling, mimicking the starry sky, were it not for the smog of the city. You two walked toward the only booth, settled against the nook of a window, draped with a soft, thin white curtain covering the view from outside. Only the reflection of street lights peered through the thin drapery.
Sliding into the booth, Pedro sat next to you, close enough to touch, yet due to the curve of the corner booth, you were able to converse without craning your neck awkwardly. At the center of the table was a single red rose in a vase, sat next to the glow of a candle. The table itself was rounded and draped with an elegant dark red tablecloth.
Grabbing the triangular folded napkin off your plate, you folded it across your lap, Pedro doing the same. He reached over to you, taking your hand in his. He rolled his hand over the top of yours, linking his fingers between your own and giving a gentle squeeze while offering a soft smile. 
You looked into his eyes, searching for the words he might be thinking. In his eyes you only found love and appreciation, pure happiness oozing from his features. When the waitress came back, she set a basket of bread with butter on the table and took your orders. 
The night went smoothly, chatter filling the empty spaces while you enjoyed your meals. “Pedro, I know this is technically our first date, but I gotta say, I think I consider our video chat for my album as the first date. It was the first time I felt like I might actually have a shot with you. You put so much effort into that night and it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I didn't know I could fall for you any harder than I was, but you proved me wrong. And even though we didn't say it was a date, and I didn't have much experience before you, it felt more like a date than anything I had ever felt before. You're a real romantic, P.” 
He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “That felt like the first date to me too. I knew for sure that I loved you that night.” Your cheeks heated, and you leaned your head on his shoulder. 
It was only when the bill arrived that you broke apart. Though you offered to pay, at least for your meal, Pedro wouldn't stand for that. After all, he told you, this date was his idea. So instead, you thanked him and left the restaurant the same way you entered, arms linked.
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As Pedro pulled up outside of your home, you let out a sigh. It was already after 9 PM. You had spent nearly eight hours together and yet you dreaded the moment you'd be saying goodbye. It was almost that time already, yet it felt like only five minutes had passed.
Though the walk from Pedro’s car to your front door was rather short, you both managed to prolong it, walking as slow as possible. Clearly he wasn't ready for it to end either. Two love sick fools, just wanting to spend every moment together.
Teetering on the edge of goodbyes, you awkwardly stood by your door. There were no nerves at a first kiss, fortunately. There had been plenty of kisses shared today, and yesterday, and the day prior. In fact, if it weren't for breathing, eating, and other bodily functions, you'd be fine having your lips glued to his indefinitely.
So with that in mind, and the burning desire to spend more time together, as he said goodbye, placing a kiss to your lips and beginning to walk away, you grabbed his arm. “Wait,” you plead.
Pedro turned, looking at you as if you had something to say, or you had forgotten a sweater in the car. But instead, with your heart pounding in your ears, you quietly asked, “would you like to come in? I’m not quite ready to say goodbye.”
The question could be taken with so many potential implications, or none at all. All you knew for sure was that you wanted to spend more time with him. What happened next could be decided in the moment.
His eyes flashed surprise for a moment. He looked at you, trying to read your face for any details in your question, then stared at your front door before turning back to you and finally answering.
“I would love to,” he smiled.
And so the two of you walked through the threshold of your front door, buzzing with new possibilities just inside. But no matter how the rest of the evening takes place, you were in love, and for once, you were loved back.
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The end! Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the bonus tracks, and once again I'd love to hear what you think! Reblogs are appreciated as well :)
Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)
@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibleywrites @faithfullyyours2000 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors @emmalostinwonderland
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hippolotamus · 3 months
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Tagged by my love @disasterbuckdiaz (with a super hot snippet) @daffi-990 (with a whole lotta feels) @tizniz (with a super cute new fic 🦖) @buddierights (with a sweet fic of V-day past) thank you lovelies 💖
Today I bring you two snippets because Fuck It, amirite??? The first is because I was rewatching Fellow Travelers last night and a moment in Episode 2 hit me like a freight train.
But then the skit starts.
Caroline and Carlos, dressed in a suit and skirt respectively, playing as a couple having dinner at home. Caroline sits at a small table while Carlos stirs an empty pot of imaginary soup.
Even though it’s all pretend, the whole scene is so terribly, achingly domestic. A reminder of an unattainable dream. Within seconds Tim feels as though he is submerged, drowning in heartache. It fills his lungs, taking up precious space where air should be. Every silently jagged breath burns as he tries to take in oxygen, but only receives more pain. He doesn’t know how he’s not making a spectacle of himself, attracting attention to the way his heart cracks, just short of breaking completely.
It is a relief when Carlos approaches him, holding out the wooden soup spoon. The gesture is silly but provides a much needed reprieve. Tim finds it in himself to be able to laugh again as he’s fed the invisible offering. A bright feeling that bursts forth, genuinely happy as it displaces his gloominess.
When Carlos and Caroline have bickered and teased their way to the ending, they bow and curtsy as the group claps and cheers. Some even call for an encore. Instead Caroline insists Mary put a record on so everyone can dance.
A lesser version of Tim’s earlier distress settles over him like a thick fog. It blankets him in loneliness while he watches Mary and her lover sway to the music, holding each other close with their cheeks pressed together.
Snippet #2 is noticeably more zesty (any guesses from the banner???) but with no fewer feels. Find a bit of honey, when you call my name under the cut 😏 Hoping this one will be posted very soon.
“You okay?” Buck’s face is etched with such concern and care it makes Eddie’s chest tight. A squeezing around his heart that makes him wish he could pull it from behind his ribcage. To clutch it in his palms while he shows off all the places Buck’s mended and healed for him. A way to prove that Eddie is more than okay, and only improving as they continue to intertwine their lives together.
“Yeah, baby. I’m good.” Eddie lifts his head, angling his neck so he can kiss Buck again. He pours all of his gratitude and overwhelm into it, hoping the message is clear. That their unique brand of silent communication applies here as well.
It must because Buck continues to slide in, albeit slowly. He goes inch by inch, periodically checking in with a questioning look that Eddie returns with a small nod until Buck’s fully seated. And it feels… unusual. Not in a bad way, but an altogether different sensation than the times he’s fucked himself with his fingers or a toy. Of course it would be, because it’s Buck. It’s novel and precious and life changing. An event that Eddie would scribble in his diary if he had one. But at the same time — it’s Buck. So it’s also an inevitable homecoming, like being able to finally set down his burdens and breathe a sigh of relief.
“So good, Buck,” Eddie tells him before the question can be asked, because he knows it will be. He can see it in the infinite blue staring back at him, sparkling with affection and love.
Buck dips his head down, brushing their noses together, and Eddie doesn’t miss how bright, sunny blue turns darker, like dusky twilight.
“Gonna move as soon as you say so,” Buck murmurs against his lips. “‘ve wanted to fuck you for so long.”
Eddie’s belly swoops and his muscles clench in anticipation. Because it’s a two way street and this has been years in the making for both of them.
“Oh, yeah?” Before Buck can answer he tacks on, “Do it then. You’re not the only one waiting here, y’know.”
He’s rewarded with a mischievous smirk just before he feels Buck pull back. A moan — closer to a growl — rips out of him when Buck thrusts forward again, making him feel so, so full and whole. Complete.
no pressure tagging @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @wikiangela @jesuisici33 @diazsdimples (I know you have something to share by now!) @stereopticons @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley @monsterrae1 @buckaroosheart @indestructibleheart @thewolvesof1998 @loserdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @elvensorceress @honestlydarkprincess @spaceprincessem @apothecarose @barbiediaz @chaosandwolves @eowon @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @hoodie-buck @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @statueinthestone @singlethread @the-likesofus @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @watchyourbuck @your-catfish-friend @vanillahigh00 and anyone else who wants to share
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ellisgirlfriend · 11 months
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my only one
dealer!ellie x reader
summary: loneliness always scared her, always made her cry at night when the moon was shining bright. She needed a change, someone who can fill her loneliness, lucky for her.. you were there.
cw: swearing, homophobia, the d slur, ellie being an emotional mess, mentions of drugs and alcohol
wc: 3.653
It really did become a habit of hers, writing her deepest thoughts in that messy diary, she only hoped no one would open it because, to be honest, she couldn’t even remember what she wrote in the past. That thought made her shiver from her cringy past self and the drunken nights she had crying in her empty bed.
Out of nowhere, the empty room was welcomed by a warm presence, Ellie looked up, still confused to her surroundings until she had received a soft smile from the girl. She felt a bit embarrassed, being caught like this, writing in that stupid diary of hers like an eleven year old. Trying to change the atmosphere, Ellie began to speak in a quiet voice:
“hello to you too, smartass. Don’t know how to knock?”
She wasn’t in the mood for any more conversations, she really wasn’t trying to be rude to her roommate , really, but after a long day surrounded only by frat boys, begging her for free weed every 5 minutes, it was really getting to her.
“Hmm, didn’t mean to, just wanted to check up on you.” her roommate said in a more serious tone, waiting for Ellie to respond while moving slowly around her room, admiring her drawings that hung on her dirty walls. She began to shift uncomfortably, this girl wasn’t just a random roommate that she luckily was assigned with, she was her dearest friend and unfortunately for her, she could read Ellie like an open book.
“Uh…”
Ellie said in a small voice, tired from being asked the same questions all over again, she was okay, at least she hoped so. She didn’t want to cause any problems with her stupid feelings that haunt her every night, her roommate looked at her from the corner of her eye, analyzing her every move while trying to get closer to the fragile girl sitting in the broken chair.
“Hey, seriously Ellie, talk to me for fuck's sake. I’m done seeing you like this.”
“Like what, Dina?” she finally raised her voice, making Dina twitch.
“Don’t play dumb, you always sit in your room, you don't even talk to me anymore!" Dina sighed, looking anywhere but in Ellie’s eyes, feeling embarrassed for being so emotional.
“At least…tell me what’s going on, please.”
Ellie looked at Dina, feeling even more embarrassed by now, she was so dramatic for no reason it made her slightly sick to her stomach.
“I'm just tired y’know, doing the same thing all over again. I…just feel lonely, I suppose.” she was trying to look somewhere else while pouring her heart out the best she could, Dina looked at her with warm eyes, trying to understand her. After a while, Ellie finally looked in Dina’s eyes, trying to apologize with her gaze, Dina stopped her with a soft smile. “You know, feelings are hard, it’s not unusual to feel like this, Ellie.” Dina touched her long, slender fingers and sighed deeply, “I know that after the…Cat situation…” she stopped, looking at Ellie trying to get an approval from her eyes, Ellie slightly smiled. “..after the Cat situation, every romantic relationship became hard for you to deal with but, Ellie, you deserve way better than that girl.”
After a while of Dina comforting Ellie, she finally convinced her to install some cheap-looking dating app. It was a start, I guess? Since Ellie didn’t really have the energy to go out other than to sell weed to gross looking dudes. It took her a while to choose a decent photo of her without Cat in it, it made her tremble, remembering the sweet moments she shared with the short haired girl but ignored it, finishing her profile. It looked good enough, she thought. Her profile was very simple, to say the least, with only two photos and a short bio with her age and location. She really didn’t have high hopes and to be honest, she didn’t even want to do it that much. But she knew Dina will nag her about using the app, trying to make her feel better. Ellie smiled thinking about this, she really appreciated Dina for being such a good friend.
Out of nowhere, her phone softly vibrates in her hands, looking up, Ellie sees the notification, someone was trying to send her a message. Man…this wasn’t good, her hands were already sweating, it was hard talking to a new person, with the romantic intentions in mind…it’s been so long for her. She tried to calm down and with a single tap, the app opened, greeting her with a simple “hey:)”. Such a simple yet hard message to answer to. Ellie tried to be smooth about it, putting on a flirty act, it was a common thing, trying to impress the pretty girls with her fake confidence. It made her feel good about herself, almost making her forget about how insecure she is when it comes to relationships.
“hey pretty.”
You clenched the phone in your hands, this was nerve-racking, such a beautiful girl calling you pretty had you on your knees already. It was a stupid idea to install this app, you thought, but you couldn’t even flirt with a girl without fainting afterwards. It was a dramatic thing to say, but you weren’t joking, not even a little bit, the main reason being that you are not…out yet, and it scared the shit out of you so talking, maybe flirting with such a girl made you feel weird, to say the least.
“i just wanted to talk, so I messaged you!” so cheesy, you thought
Ellie smiled, feeling a bit more confident with herself, you were a shy one, but that still didn’t make Ellie completely nonchalant, before answering she checked your profile and that scared her even more now, you were just breathtaking. Your hair looked so soft, your lips were so...kissable. She shook her head, trying to control her stupid hormones, she was weak to pretty girls, that’s why she was scared to start a new relationship, a new something. It was dangerous territory for her, from getting hurt like the last time. After a minute, she exited from your profile, she didn’t really want to keep you waiting so she tried to type a message fast without even thinking, that’s how her flirting worked. It was a weird feeling, almost adrenaline, from being so blunt without thinking, it made her feel dizzy.
“i feel the same.", she typed. A very short but meaningful message to make you feel even shyer, it made her smile a bit. It was obvious you were trying to type something but stopping right after, it was almost adorable.
After talking for a while, the conversation started to become comfortable, it felt like you and Ellie were meant to talk to each other, it was cheesy since it’s the first day, but you couldn’t blame yourself, you were a hopeless romantic and the fact that you were talking to such a gorgeous girl did not help the situation at all.
In two weeks, Ellie found out a lot about you, you were on the same campus. When she found out about this, an unknown feeling began to haunt her. Don't get her wrong, she was excited to perhaps, see you around campus but at the same time she was too nervous to face you. Everything was going too smoothly, she was so comfortable talking to you but…only though text at the moment. It's been so long since she was last romantically interested in someone and, man…she was so scared, she didn’t want to get hurt again, her heart wasn’t even healed from the past experience. She wasn’t trying to be rude, but her mind always went to the worst-case scenarios. You were such a sweet girl, she knew deep down that you won’t do something like that to her but still, the deep fear in her was there, haunting her to this day.
At the same time, she didn’t want to disappoint you, it was clearly easier to type something while pretending to be really confident but Ellie knew that in real life she would stutter like a bitch. In the past it would have been a lot better for Ellie, but after such a recent and messy break up, she couldn’t be so chill about it, unfortunately. She even tried to explain her situation to you, not in great detail, though, she wasn’t ready to vent her whole life to you but just enough to make sure you know who you're dealing with. When I tell you, she was so relieved when she saw your sweet message, trying to comfort her from the break up but also giving her enough space, it just made her heart melt. Her brain was sending mixed signals everytime she talked to you, it was frustrating, this feeling of being scared but also…not wanting to leave, she was careful, she didn’t want to make a mistake that could impact your...friendship, if you can call it that. She wanted to take it easy and just experience this new type of feeling, but it made her feel dizzy, it was hard just to talk to you and not feel anything, she didn’t want to rush into things and get hurt again, or even hurt you. It haunted her day and night, but my god, she was starting to like you to another level, writing in her diary about your likes, dislikes and even fun silly facts about you that you probably forgot about, every little thing about you filled her mind and she was so obsessed with it. She even wrote about places that you would like to go to, her mind making up scenarios where you two would meet, forgetting about how scared she was to even meet eyes with you. But it was a beautiful feeling, it made her feel happy to imagine all these things with you, she really hoped one day she could just go to you.
One thing about you that she would keep her mind fixed on is that you love history, always talking about it, she was confused at first, still is but nevertheless she was listening to every word you said about your major and small facts. It was such a boring subject for Ellie, especially because of the teacher, she purposely avoided that class with her whole soul, probably not passing the class but listening to you made her want to attend that stupid class. You made the subject so interesting, you made her focus on it easily, even in messages, she even began to be into this thing, searching in her free time about it, trying to impress you like a lost puppy.
A month has passed and everything was going great, Ellie was a different person, the effect you had on her was magical, even Dina was surprised that app changed her best friend so drastically, she couldn’t ask for more. She was more than happy to see Ellie back on her feet, that break up seriously ruined her and Dina couldn’t even look at Ellie without feeling bad, she really hated it, seeing her curled up in her bed ignoring everyone around her, not even attending to favorite her classes, Dina just wanted to go and hug her.
It was late at night, Dina was still thinking about the situation, patting her shoulder for being such a good friend while Ellie was moving room to room. That woke Dina from her thoughts, watching Ellie getting ready to go somewhere, it was pretty obvious she was going to some frat boys party to sell some weed since she was low on money, after that breakup she was less and less active with her weed 'business' or whatever, but at the same time, Dina was confused to see her such in a hurry, trying so many outfits, let’s say that it peaked her interest.
“Going somewhere?” Dina said, trying to hide her small smirk, Ellie turned her head to her, her eyes clearly showing nervousness, it was a bit too obvious. “Ah, just going to some party, y’know.” She tried to change her tone to seem a bit more calmer but her insides were burning, she couldn’t wait not even a bit longer, Dina looked at her, putting her whole attention on her which made Ellie shift uncomfortably, “You know you can’t lie to me, it’s all over your face.” Dina said.
“Oh whatever…” Ellie complained in an exaggerated voice, making Dina smile even harder at Ellie’s reaction. Ellie took a deep breath before finishing her sentence, “if you are that interested, I’ll go to that stupid party but…I think I’ll see her there”. Of course, it was so easy to guess, it’s been so long since Dina saw Ellie so interested in the way she looked, it was comforting to her. Ellie became Ellie again, she stood up from the comfy couch, approaching Ellie with a big smirk while she was making a disappointed face. She was telling Dina “don't you dare” with her eyes, while Dina already began to talk about all these stupid flirty scenarios that would happen tonight, it made Ellie flustered, her imagination going wild, betraying her but she still managed to keep a serious face, pushing Dina slightly, ready to leave this room before Dina began to tease her even more, plus...she couldn’t wait anymore. Her heart was beating too hard, she couldn’t ignore it anymore, she had to leave already, to see you for the first time. She didn’t know if she was ready, it’s been quite some time but still…the feeling of nervousness never left her body but at the same the excitement was growing with each second.
After a long walk, she was more relaxed, the cool air calming her warm heart. Unfortunately, she was welcomed with a strong smell of alcohol and she already wanted to leave this place and take you to that restaurant you always talked about. She was angry with herself for wanting to meet you here for the first time, in a place like this, but she needed that stupid money very fast, it was getting ridiculous at this point. Before even getting to finish her inner monologue, a group of people greeted her, already knowing who she is from her appearance. She took a deep breath before walking up to them.
Struggling to put the damn dress on, you almost gave up but after some time it finally reached your hips, you looked in the mirror, admiring yourself, trying to look extra fancy just for this mini date you planned with Ellie. You were so nervous, you didn’t even realize how late you were, there wasn’t a specific time planned but you still wanted to be there earlier just to finally see her soft features in real life, it made your heart skip a beat. Finally, you grabbed your purse and ignored your feelings for the time being, the cool air hitting your face.
Ellie was already on a couch, a bottle of alcohol in her hand, she was obviously nervous because she couldn’t see you in the big crowd. It wasn’t an official date or something but it still made her worried about your well being, she really thought you would come. Sighing, she gets closer to the girl sitting next to her on the couch. The overwhelming feeling in her stomach made her overly sensitive, especially after the whole break up situation, she really wanted to see you, it was obviously your choice if you wanted to come but still…she was feeling a bit dizzy. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the emotions, but she could feel your presence next to her. Ellie looked at the girl, feeling butterflies in her stomach thinking that maybe this would be the person she had been waiting for, when her eyes met with an unknown face, she sighed, trying not to make it obvious that she didn't enjoy her company anymore. She still talked to her, maybe she just wanted some joints or whatever, and she did but at the same time she was a bit too flirty with Ellie. The alcohol was making her even dizzier, she couldn’t even focus on this girl, so out of instinct she flirted back, maybe that was the alcohol or maybe the desperation you made her feel and the disappointment of you not showing up. She gave a smile to the small girl, giving her a discount, 'just for pretty girls' she said, cringing at her own words but still going with it.
The girl was ready to talk more with Ellie, but out of nowhere, a feminine voice which sounded forced covered the other girl’s. Ellie could feel a strange presence close to her, making her feel uncomfortable, she tried to move her eyes to scan the area where the voice came from, but the other person was faster, touching her hands so tenderly, it made her blush. She looked up, hoping that maybe it’s you, finally meeting you, but unfortunately, she was met with an unknown face, she looked confused at the other person, raising an eyebrow but the other person didn’t even flinch, it made Ellie frustrated but at the same time angry, who is this person?
“Can I help you?” She said in a deep voice, trying to show some confidence but the other person slowly began to speak, “Hello,my dear Ellie. I’m so glad we finally met." the person said in a high pitched voice, trying to sound different, she was beyond confused, maybe the alcohol was making her see things, she didn’t think so though, before getting a chance to speak the other person did it first “Don't you remember me? We were supposed to meet!” 'What', that was Ellie’s first thought so she just asked without even thinking “Who even are you?”. She didn’t want to sound pissed but let’s be honest, she clearly was, this person was mocking her and she couldn’t figure it out. “The fuck do you mean you don’t know bitch.” the person raised their voice, “I’m the girl you’ve talking to, duh.”
Ellie couldn’t believe her eyes, she looked at the person in front of her, this wasn’t right, at all. She began to scream “YOU’RE CLEARLY A MAN BRUH.” She couldn’t believe that she fucking got catfished, her blood was boiling through her veins. “I’m not a man, dykey. I’m clearly non-binary, respect my pronouns.” The other person said offensively, almost mocking Ellie’s angry reaction. “Oh, for fuck's sake, shut the fuck up,"She said, “you lied to me all this time, don’t you feel sorry??”
“Not really, and the fuck are you complaining about, I’m kinda cute. Stop with the pussy lover title and get here.” He said “WHAT, ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE GET AWAY” Ellie said in a deep voice trying to maintain the dominant act “At least tell me who the fuck you are so I know who I punch.” She said with her fists already clenched, she couldn’t resist anymore. “Heh, no one can punch me baby. But try your luck..” he smirked, playing with his long hair while he continued the sentence while everyone watched the scene, Ellie was clearly too loud and it caught everyone’s attention. “and I’m Zhongli, nice to meet you, little dykey flower.” Out of nowhere, everyone gasped.
"Is that Zhongli???!! From the hit game Genshin Impact?!” Everyone began to clap, this was unreal, Ellie was fucking confused. 'Zhongli? Who the fuck.' she thought. He had a smirk on his face, almost proud for being so popular, who the fuck is this guy, Ellie was fuming. She threw a punch but the dude looked her with a smile, throwing her on the floor. “You dyke.” He moved closer to her “You don’t punch daddy,my little dykey.” He smirked “Stop the act we know you’re made for cock.” Out of nowhere everyone began to scream “Yes!” Ellie was so confused, why was everyone agreeing with him? She was the infamous dealer in here , the FUCKKK. She gave these people free fucking weed at some point and now they betrayed her like this. “I'M NO COCK LOVER YOU BITCH” Ellie began to scream throwing her hands in the air, Zhongli just laughed at her, “Don’t worry baby, there is cure.” She was ready to spit on him until, suddenly, she could feel that she was flying. Confused by her surroundings, she moved her eyes to analyze, she was somewhere else…
”Huh..?” This was definitely the alcohol and the weed, oh my god. She looked up and saw Zhongli, greeting her with a smile. "Hello dykey poo, we are in Genshin Impact, Liyue, more specifically. Do you know the game?”
“No bruh I just fuck pussy and I play Butterfly Soup” she began to get angry, enough is enough. He kidnapped her , taking her in this game called Genshin Impact…? She was beyond furious. “Heh, ridiculous indie game, should have known from a stinky yuri like you.” What the fuck is he talking about . Zhongli finally dropped the bomb, “just imagine ima girl bruh. Not that hard.”
“Damn ok” Ellie said ready to kiss this mf
Sllorp
“Wow, you kiss better than my bitches”
“Told you dyke.”
Slurp
“I love you mommy…!” Ellie said, changing her mind
“Yes my baby dyke, love you too, dyke dick 😅”
“This is amazing, thank you for changing my life Zhongli, let’s stay here forever.”
“We will babe, no more break ups for you.”
Slorp she kissed him
“Thank you mommy, you’re the best women.”
“Of course el” he smiled
“Let’s be in here forever and make babies.”
“I love babys!” Ellie said
“Aw! How many do you want babe?”
“Hmm maybe three!!”
“Three sound good love” he smiles
author’s note: yep
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kiiwiigii · 8 months
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Cramps
Alec x Fem!Reader
Summary: The cramps are so bad you think you're pretty sure you're about to die. Alec assured you that you're not, and does his best to comfort you.
Warnings:
None, except that periods suck.
Word Count: 600+
Requested?: Yes! I hope you're feeling better, nonny!
A/N: Turns out im cramping like mf today. 😭 I hope y'all enjoy!
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I was certain I was going to die. The cramps today were fucking awful, and I found I couldn't move more than an inch or two. I refused to move, tired and crabby from the pain. To top it off my heating pad was broken, and I was out of Midol. The day was starting off great. 
My door banged open, and I jumped, hissing in pain and then doubling over from the sudden movement. My poor heart. My poor sides. My poor everything. I could already feel the tears of annoyance and frustration welling up. 
"Why do I smell blood, love?" 
Alec was by my side in an instant, checking me over before pausing, nose flaring. 
"Oh. Oh, amore. I am sorry." He said softly. "I just smelled blood and panicked. Are you ok? Never mind, that was a dumb question." 
He fluffed up my pillows before helping me lean back onto them. 
"What can I do for you, amore?" He asked quietly, pushing my sweaty hair back away from my face. "I am afraid that I am rather useless in these situations. What do you need?" 
"You're not completely useless, Alec." I nuzzled into his cool hand. "I could really use a heating pad. And some Midol." 
"Have you eaten anything today?" 
I shook my head. 
"Give me a few minutes. I'll be back." 
He was back in less than twenty minutes. A large paper grocery bag in one hand, a steaming bowl of soup with grilled cheese in the other. 
"Here, tesero." 
He gave me a water bottle and put two pills in my hand. I took them obediently, already impatient for them to start working. By the time I was done, Alec already had the heating pad plugged in and warming up, slipping it underneath the covers for me to rearrange to my liking. Finally, when all of that was taken care of, he handed me the soup and grilled cheese. 
I smiled up at him softly as he leaned forward to place a cool kiss to my forehead. I sighed happily, leaning against him for a brief moment. 
"Do you have any duties today?" I asked. 
"None that cannot wait." 
"Then stay with me?" 
"Of course, amore." 
He was on the other side of the bed, snuggling up to my, placing his hand lightly over the covers where the heating pad lay, the weight helping the heat seep into my skin. I nibbled on my grilled cheese. To be honest I wasn’t all that hungry. 
“You should eat, Y/N.” 
“I know, but my stomach is a bit too upset.” 
“At least try to eat half for me, amore.” 
"Want me to put something on the tv?" He already had the remote in his sand. 
"Sure." I said tiredly. 
He pulled up The Vampire Diaries on Netflix, while I tried to eat as much as I could before setting the half-eaten food on my nightstand.  
"This is so inaccurate it is not even funny." He grinned at me. 
He let me get settled against him, leaning into his chest, my hands following suit. He put his arm up under the pillow I was using. 
"I think I would be alright using my power, just this once. Just until the medicine kicks in." 
I looked up at him surprised. Alec had never used his power on me before. He absolutely refused unless it was a serious situation in which I needed it. Which was never. But here he was, offering. I gave him a slow nod. 
"I would really appreciate that, Alec. I feel absolutely miserable." 
He looked at me, eyes searching my face before nodding. 
Slowly I could see the black mist pour from his hands, right over my torso, and I felt myself go numb. It would have been unnerving had it not been for the sweet relief that was no more pain. I could still see him watching me intently, gauging my reaction. I gave him another soft smile before nuzzling into his chest. I could feel the sleepiness beginning to overtake me. 
"Thank you, Alec." 
"Anything for you, mio cara." 
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rokirokiro · 9 months
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Love Declaration Imp♡ct
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Kaedehara Kazuha. A man that I believe is a carefree man who believes everything happened within a reason. even the simplest things as brewing one's tea out off willingness considers as endearing in his eyes. he appreciates tiny details, and would return the same. he thinks more than he talks, but whenever he does, 'flowers comes out instead of words'.
♡!
I say he's the bashful type when it comes to confessing his feelings. True, he might be bold with his words, but how could one be honest and directly say those simple yet powerful three words without stumbling upon each letters and embarrasses oneself? He can't, especially when you looked at him with those eyes, those lovely eyes he dared to exclaim that he'd stare for hours. those charming pairs that he wished to be his, as well as your soul. oh how he wished to be yours, and you to be his.
he made days of silent planning on how to let you know the content of his heart, spending days on thinking about the perfect confession he could offer to you as he goes on a little adventure with Beidou's crew, listening to the music of the oceans and waves splashing to the wooden ship.
But the nature tolds him, (or which he concluded),
that it needn't to be Perfect.
it just need to be true.
it just need his heart to pour onto.
it just need to be exactly what he thought.
And so,
he picked up a quill, dripping the tip on the dark night ink and began writing. a poem, a love confession. whatever it's called to inform someone about the availability of their heart to the other.
The nature also concluded,
that he needed to pour his entire heart onto the very piece of papyrus, which would change the two souls relationship forever. every alphabets sealed a piece of his heart onto them, and a misfortune result would break him entirely.
he's aware of the risk.
yet love need sacrifices.
. . . . . . . .
and when it finally reached your hands and eyes, it also reached your heart too.
◌⑅⃝●♡⋆♡LETTER♡⋆♡●⑅◌
To my dearest darling,
I'm in love with you. I aware that these words shouldn't be written on the very beginning of the letter, but I apologize for the spoil. As I can barely hang on anymore. I can't keep these feelings anymore that I really had to just write them down so quickly, so please consider thinking this letter as the summary of the diary of my heart. I've been wanting to tell you, no, desperately wanting to tell you that I'm in love with you, my angel. Love feels like an understatement, as I'd give you my whole, just like how you did. your smile alone becomes the sole reason of my gleeful days, the sweet soft redness adorning your cheeks is so adorable. you never stop making me fall in love like the first time again and again, lovely. you just never realized it, because you've been the sweetest since the very beginning and blinded from your own charms. and I'm violently attracted to you.
I love you, yesterday, today, tomorrow and to the eternity. I love you, I love you for eternity, I'm just so in love, I love you so so much. I love you, I am so in love, I want this feeling to never stop.
I love you, I love you, I love you..
(♡˙︶˙♡)
he just can't stop writing the three words. as if a force of nature just moved his hand to paint the letter with the dark ink, declaring his love oh so passionately. you'd notice parts of the paper have some tears stains too, he was probably so emotional as he writes this.
<♡~What do you think?~♡>
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baek-at-it-again95 · 1 year
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Walk The Plank (K.HJ x fem reader)
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Chapter 7: Mingi’s Diary
You had grown up hearing tales about the infamous pirate crew ATEEZ—the fearless, power-hungry men that roamed the seas in search of the most valuable treasure they could lay their hands on. You almost didn’t believe the stories your mother had told you as a child...not until you wound up on their ship  
Warnings for this chapter: drinking, violence (unrelated to the drinking)
Previous: Chapter 6, Masterlist
Chapter 7: Mingi’s Diary
"As you know, we will arrive at the New World by tomorrow. We will dock the ship at the smallest bay of Promise Island. I will be giving orders soon, but I wanted you all to know first," Hongjoong says. "And, with that, I would like to propose a toast!" You watch as he and Seonghwa and pour rum into nine glasses that sit on the table in front of you.
The men happily take their share, leaving the last for you to grab. You take it carefully and look back up to see eight pairs of eyes on you. Hongjoong raises his glass. "Let us start by toasting to Y/N, for we would not be here without her." Your cheeks warm without you even having to take a sip of your liquor. 
"Yes, yes, well I would not be here without you, either," you comment sarcastically, a smile taking over you.
"Cheers!" Wooyoung exclaims, clinking his glass with yours before downing his drink. 
Seonghwa raises his glass next. "To the Captain."
Then San.
"To the most amazing crew."
Then Mingi.
"To ATEEZ!" Everyone cheers at the final toast and sips from their glass, you included. 
***
When you decided that you were done drinking for the night, you wandered to the upper deck, searching for some peace. The crew is quite energetic. 
The sun threatens to slip under the waves on the horizon, the orange hue blending with the purple and black of the night sky. It always fascinates you how the sunset looks different every day.
"What are you doing out?" A voice sounds from behind you. A squeak leaves your lips and you turn around to come face to face with Song Mingi. How do they always appear out of nowhere? 
"I am just relaxing before we go to sleep. I quite enjoy the waves at night." Mingi nods. Even in the progressing darkness, you notice the slight pink tint of his cheeks. You are not sure how much he's had to drink.
"Hey, I...what I said about the sacrifice thing earlier..." Mingi's dark eyes avoid yours as he tries to find his words. You almost find it...cute. You shake your head at the thought. 
"I know, Mingi. It was not true."
"Yes. Uh, it wasn't. And I am...sorry for trying to scare you."
"I forgive you. Perhaps you should just think about others next time." He nods. The man before you clearly has some deeper-rooted issues, but now is not the time to pry. "I do not understand why my presence threatens you, but I hope that it will not from this point on." 
"It is not your presence that I fear," he mumbles. "I fear getting close to you and something happening to you. I fear betrayal. I fear a lot of things that I do not care to admit to others." Your heart swells at his confession, grateful that he has chosen to confide in you. You gently take his hand and look up at him. 
"Thank you for admitting that. Sharing what you feel is important, Mingi." 
"Thank you, Y/N." You nod.
"Now, let's get some rest. We arrive tomorrow," you whisper excitedly, taking his hand and leading him to the crew's quarters.
***
Your surroundings are fuzzy as you navigate through a dark meadow.
You look around you to see eight figures moving forward, just as you do. "Hongjoong?" You call out. None of the figures stop or turn around.
"Seonghwa?" You try. Still no response. Straining your eyes to see ahead, you notice a thick fog. Is it...the mist that Hongjoong had told you about? The one that gives illusions of your fears? "We need to turn around!"
When no one responds, you grow frustrated, stopping in your tracks. Someone that appears to be Mingi turns around and grabs your clothing, continuing to drag you forward. "No! Please, I don't want to go!" You cry, struggling to escape his grip. You make no progress, and suddenly the mist is engulfing you. "Mingi! Stop!" You pull away, finally freeing yourself of his grip. You can't see anything. Or anyone. 
Okay, just breathe. Move forward and you'll make it out eventually. 
Your footsteps are silent as you trudge through the mist; the only thing you're able to hear is the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears. A figure moves up ahead and you jolt forward, calling out to them. "Hey! Over here!" From his back, you think it's Hongjoong. When you place a hand on his shoulder and whirl him around, you feel unsettled. He has the same face as your captain, but his complexion is pale, sickly even. His one uncovered eye bores into you, colorless and void of life. "Captain?" You shake him and he blinks. Within seconds he shoves you to the ground with anger. 
"Ah!" You grunt as your back hits the grass. Your head feels fuzzy, unclear and unable to think straight. He's not Hongjoong, right? It's the mist...it's getting to you. You push yourself back up and pass Hongjoong, eager to escape the horrors of the mist. With a foggy mind, you trudge on. You haven't the slightest idea how long it's been when you see two more figures beyond you. It looks like...Yunho? And Mingi. Are you exiting the mist? 
"Yunho!" You run up to the tall men, stopping in front of them as Yunho whispers something into Mingi's ear. Mingi's face changes with the reception of Yunho's words, his lips curling into a smirk. "What is it?" you ask, confused by their changes in demeanor. Your heart rate speeds up as Yunho steps toward you. Suddenly you get the feeling that you need to run. You bolt around them, running as fast as your fatigued body can move through the mist. You hear their pounding footsteps behind you, drawing in closer. A hand suddenly grabs your shoulder and pulls you to the ground, the air being taken from your lungs. You can't even scream as Mingi and Yunho stand above you, venomous smiles twisting on their faces.
"Sacrifice her," Mingi says.
***
"Y/N? Y/N!" Wooyoung and San hover above you, Wooyoung's arms shaking your shoulders. 
"I'm...I'm awake!" you exclaim, jolting up and rubbing your eyes.
"You were talking an awful lot in your sleep this morning," San tells you.
"It must have been the dream I was having." You sigh, shivering as pieces of your nightmare flashes through your mind. San nods, smiling. 
"Today is the day!"
"Awwww, she's so cute," Wooyoung fawns.
"Woo." You grumble, shooting him a look. He straightens up and bows, only to come right over to you and lift you out of bed. You squirm against his grip but eventually give up, sighing and relaxing over his shoulder.
When he finally places your feet on the wooden floor, you feel as if you've been awake for hours. "She needs to get dressed, let's leave her alone." Wooyoung tugs on San's arm. They both leave you to yourself and you stretch out widely with your arms above your head. What should you wear? Definitely something that you can easily move around in and get dirty if you're going to search for treasure. 
You march over to your chest of clothing to dig around, eventually pulling out a pair of trousers and a button down. They fit a bit loosely, so you also choose a sash to tie around your waist. This will do nicely. You throw it on along with your black boots. You lastly tend to your hair, maintaining it as best you can before heading above deck. The men are already scrambling about, adjusting sails and preparing for land. 
"Miss Y/N." Hongjoong calls, drawing closer with his confident walk. He wears a beautiful black coat that looks lovely with his eye patch and shiny boots. You feel your heartbeat speed up just at the sight of him. What is up with you lately?
"Captain." You greet him, bowing slightly.
"We will arrive shortly. Bring as little as possible, as we will not be staying on land past nightfall for our safety. If we do not find the treasure while the sun is up, we will return to the ship for the night and venture out again at sunrise."
"Aye, Captain."
"Stay close, doll. I need you safe. Understood?"
You nod, bowing again as he turns on his heels and orders other crew members to prepare the anchor. You look beyond the ship railing closest to you, Promise Island looking just as beautiful as you imagined. The green of the island vegetation is so vibrant, even with its distance.
"Are you excited?"
You turn to meet Jongho, his adorable smile melting your heart. 
"A bit more nervous than excited," you admit.
"Don't worry, Y/N. ATEEZ can handle anything. We'll find that treasure and sail home safe and sound." You return his smile, patting his shoulder.
"You are my treasure. Let's go home now!" You joke, giggling.
"Drop the anchor!" You hear the captain shout. Jongho acts quickly, one arm grabbing the ship railing and the other wrapping around your waist as the force of the anchor tugs against the ship. He pulls you over to the railing and you steady yourself with your hands. Somehow, he is always ready to catch you.
"Suddenly I am very excited. I love having stable ground under my feet," you tell Jongho.
>>chapter 8
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basicallyahedgehog · 1 year
Text
2022 In Fic
This is so late, but oh well! Big love and hugs to my faves @phoebe-delia (x) and @corvuscrowned (x) for the tags. Go and check theirs out too!
January
Harry’s Spiny Adventure (Wolfstar, toddler Harry)
“A ned-chog!” Harry was dancing on the spot now, unable to contain his excitement.
“Hedgehog, Harry,” Sirius sighed. So much for a normal day. “Why do you have a hedgehog in the house?”
Til The End Of The Night (Harry-centric, nil pairing)
Perhaps, he mused as he poured the boiling water into his mug, tremors causing the water to splash across the benchtop, the worst part wasn’t the words themselves, but the fact that the public was truly convinced of what they saw. All they could see was their Hero, their Saviour. The Boy Who Lived, who defeated the Dark Lord.
March
The Brightest Thing (drarry)
When I was young I expected my wedding to be stuffy, full of heavy vows. Yet here we are, your hands clasped in mine, giggling like two schoolboys.
April
The Evolution of Soup (Or, How Harry Learned To Be Loved) (Drarry)
As he succumbed once more to the ever-present fog at the edges of his brain, Harry felt a feather-light kiss in his hair, followed by another one on his temple. He fell asleep with a smile on his face, hand curling towards the one person who could make everything ok.
From The Shadows (Drarry)
I watch and I watch until one day; one day, I realise that you are watching back. How long, I wonder. How long were we watching each other without realising, caught in a never-ending dance?
May
Out Of The Darkness (Drarry)
I hate him, until he smiles. Before he smiles he is the saviour, he is the poster boy, he is the carrier of the weight of the world. But when he smiles he is Harry, my Harry.
With You Between My Arms (Drarry)
Trying to squash his hope - this isn’t what it looks like, he just wants to have a friendly dance, don’t be an idiot - Harry takes Draco’s hand, allowing himself to be led onto the dancefloor. He runs his free hand through his hair, trying in vain to tame his ever-messy curls.
“Don't,” Draco murmurs, grabbing Harry’s hand from his hair and placing it on his own shoulder. “The messy look suits you.”
The Strings That Weave Us (drarry)
The same tiny little shop where Draco worked.
Which is how Harry had found himself trying to make an appropriate amount of eye contact – look at his eyes, Harry, not his soft hair and just-right arms and the dimple in his left cheek and – as Draco explained how the thread worked.
June
Still Into You
They told me that it would fade, this feeling. That one day I would look at you and the butterflies wouldn’t come. But here you are, and here I am, joy bubbling in my stomach like champagne, hearts in my eyes.
All The Time In The World (drarry)
It was another week before Harry received the letter. Ginny was still screening his mail, but she was out with Luna. Besides, Harry knew that handwriting. He was sceptical as to whether Ginny would have let this letter through or not, but he knew that he definitely wanted to read it.
Why would Draco Malfoy be writing to him?
July
My Heart Was Unprepared (Darry)
My mind Healer told me to keep a journal, so here we are. I don’t see what the point is, really. Writing in this book isn’t going to magically erase the trauma of growing up in a cult, being forced to join said cult, having said cult live in your house… you get the picture.
I tried to point out that a diary actually caused quite a lot of trouble during the war, but Eugenia — my mind Healer — insisted. 
August
Like This, My Beloved (Drarry)
What I didn’t picture was you walking into the room that first day of Auror training, your face still pale from two months in Azkaban. I didn’t picture the quiet, “it’s ok, I can convert the old janitors closet to a bunk. I know no one wants me.”
I think I already knew, in that moment. I just didn’t know it yet.
September
The Love You Find (Drarry)
They never talked about it, but Harry took to crawling into Draco’s bed during the night, until they just pushed their two beds together. Harry wondered if they should discuss it, but he didn’t know how he’d handle it if Draco wanted to stop.
Mads (Drarry)
“What did I do to deserve you?” Draco whispered against Harry’s lips, tears coursing down their cheeks once more. 
“You don’t need to earn my love, Darling,” Harry said, pulling Draco against his chest. “It is freely given, for however long you want it. No matter what pronouns you use.”
October
I'll Be Loving You (Drarry)
“Loving someone doesn’t mean you endorse them,” Harry murmured, thinking of the hazy love for his aunt that had been squashed in his childhood, of the love he knew his mother had held for Snape even to her death, of the love he held for every version of the man in his arms, even the misguided teenager he had once been. Maybe especially that boy, fear a constant presence in his grey eyes.
November
The Threads That Bind Us (Drarry)
Every thought, they shared with each other. Every fear, every doubt, every self-recrimination. Every dream and hope and decision were shared and cradled and made together. 
It was their greatest strength, and Draco’s greatest joy.
December
Them (pre-slash)
Draco turned away with a little hum, contemplating his gingerbread man — person — with his head tilted first one way then the next. Harry held his breath, feeling like he was witnessing something important. 
Colour Outside The Lines (Harry-centric)
To be trans, Harry thinks, is to be alone in a crowded room. It’s learning a language too late, putting together a puzzle and discovering a missing piece.
The Brightest Star (pre-slash)
“Because I have a pretty awesome roommate,” Harry said. “And they just told me something about themself that I didn’t know, and I’m happy for them.” Draco shivered with each use of their pronouns, burying their face in Harry’s neck to hide their blush. 
Tagging anyone who hasn't done this yet who wants to :)
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nova-devlin · 2 years
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Nova’s Semester
I noticed none of my timing matches anything in the show because it's 2010 and Elena's 22 lol so for the sake of the timeline we'll just pretend Elena and Jeremy are adults.   Grammar mistakes were made, I'm sure.  
Warning: swearing?, Mentions of weed Eventual: Elijah Mikaelson x OC, Niklaus Mikaelson x OC, Kol Mikaelson x OC, Rebekha Mikaelson x OC, Finn Mikaelson x OC Ending: Mikaelson Family x OC Words- 2695 Summary: Nova’s first day of school
                                                              Chapter 2
                                                            2 weeks later
August, 10 Dear Diary, Today is the first day of school. I feel horrible. I've turned in my electives, a bit late, but I still got them in. I might have kicked myself in the teeth with this though, I have no clue what classes I'm going to have this year, I don't even know if the classes I picked were available. Maybe Elena was right, I should have filled it out before they were due. The only class I hope I don't get is gym. I hate sweating, it's gross, and then not being able to take a shower afterward sucks ass. I guess I'm making a big deal over nothing, I guess I'm feeling a little off today. I don't know what it is, it's like a feeling in my gut. I don't think anything bad is going to happen, but I've never felt this way before on the first day of school. What should I do?
A light tapping can be heard from Nova’s door, she reluctantly gets up from her bed, putting her diary under her bed and throwing the pen somewhere on her bed to be lost within its sheets, she gets to her door finally opening it to reveal her sister. “Oh, good, you're up, you should start getting ready if you haven't already.” Nova lets out a big yawn giving a nod to her sister before closing the door. As she turns from her door a sense of dread starts to fill her. She stands at her door for a few more seconds before she slowly walks over to her closet throwing it open to fetch her outfit for the day. She decided to go with a simple white t-shirt with a plaid cover-up and some blue shorts. She rummages through her basket of shoes not liking any of her options. She looks to her right and sees her raggedy black and white converse. ‘Guess I'm wearing these all year again’ she thought to herself. After she got dressed, she started to finish the routine she's been doing since kindergarten. She made sure her teeth and hair were brushed, throwing her hair into a messy bun as she walked out of her bathroom and back into her room.
Nova moves about her room collecting everything she would need, her backpack filled with her notebooks and other school supplies, she grabs her purse, phone, headphones, and skateboard before turning off the lights, and moving downstairs and into the kitchen to grab some breakfast. When she walks into the kitchen, she's met face to face with Damon and Elena both sitting at the dining table with mugs in their hands. She pauses in the doorway looking between the two “Uh hi?” The pair at the table pause their conversation to turn their attention to her. “Good morning, to you too sparky, I see you've woken up on the right side of the bed,” Damon smirks and drinks the coffee from the mug in his hands. Instead of answering Damon, she turns to her sister with a puzzled look “Why aren't you at work? I thought you had an early morning shift today.” Nova moves about the kitchen waiting for an answer and the one she gets is not one she wants to hear. “I called off.” Nova stops pouring her juice into her glass and looks up at her sister. She ponders for a moment and comes to the conclusion Damon did something stupid and Elena was babysitting him, again. She snorts and replies “What did Damon do this time?” The man in question throws his hand over his heart and gasps “Sparky how could you, I thought we were friends?” Elena rolled her eyes and sighed “Damon didn't do anything Nova.” She brings her plate of food and glass of juice over to the table “So, why is he here at seven-thirty in the morning?” Damon threw his hands up in defeat “Really, I'm right here, fully capable of answering your question by the way.” Nova ignores him and waits for her sister to answer. “Because I told him I called off, and he showed up ten minutes later.” she shrugs and sips on her coffee “Well why did you call off in the first place.”  
Elena looks to Damon and back to Nova, clears her throat “I’m taking you to school today, you know the first-day drive tradition.” Right. She forgot; it had completely slipped her mind. The first day drive picture tradition, something their parents had started when they were little. Elena was insistent every year to do this tradition. It was a simple tradition, let mom and dad drive them to school on the first day of every year for the first day of school picture. Nova didn't mind it even if she did hate having her picture taken because her parents always made the drive there so fun. When Elena wouldn't let it go, it made Nova hate the tradition completely. Nova lets out a noise of affirmation, to let her sister know she heard her, still in thought about all the times she and her parents carried out this silly little tradition. Today Nova decided she would have none of it. “Yeah, no thanks, you really shouldn't have called off work.” She stands from her seat taking her dishes to the sink. “What do you mean no, Nov we've always done this tradition.” Nova shrugged her shoulders moving towards the door, grabbing her board, and opening the door “Yup, but this year is different because we're not.” she steps out into the cool morning air takes a deep breath, and closed the door behind her.  At least she tried to close the door only to be intercepted by Damon's hand “Whoa sparky come on now what are doing.” Nova continues down the stairs of her front porch choosing to ignore Damon. As soon as her feet hit the pavement of the road, she slams her board to the ground taking off as fast as she can trying to get far away from the two people calling her name from behind her.
As Nova skates down the road, she looks around her to admire the beauty of the changing leaves, even if Nova hated the school year, she could at least admit fall was by far the prettiest season. Nova continued to stroll down the road towards school, contemplating how much trouble she would get if she just didn't go. She thought about just riding to her best smoking spot. It was a small little area behind the old Lockwood estate. Past all the trees and underbrush there was a small clearing big enough to fit a small group of people; the opening stretched up to the very top of the trees giving her an amazing view of the sky no matter the time of day. Her idea to cut school was severed when she heard the loud honk of a car behind her. She slows herself to a stop hopping off her board, picking it up, and moving over to the sidewalk to get out of the car's way. She places her board back down on the ground and takes off moving towards a familiar stop sign. All she needed to do was turn left and she could forget about school and everything else that goes with it. Instead, as soon as she hopped off her board to get over the crack in the sidewalk a hand reached down and grabbed her board from her “Hey, who the hell-?” her question stops abruptly when she looks up to the stranger grabbing her board only to not be met with a stranger but Damon.
Damon takes her board and holds it to his chest, swaying it side to side to taunt her. “Hey douchebag, give it back.” Damon chuckles and shakes his head “No can do sparky, not until you talk to your sister.” Damon finishes pointing to who she guessed was Elena behind her. “Come on Nov don't be this way.” Nova spins around to face her sister “Are you seriously going to make me late just because you want some stupid photo.” Elena huffs and throws her head back stomping her foot like a child “Nova common we've done this every year since kindergarten, please for me?” “Elena I'm not going to be late for school just because you want to take a fucking photo.'' She turns around with full intent to yell at Damon to give her, her board back only to be met with nothing. She hears the sound of a trunk door closing and she spins back around to see Damon walking back to the both of them with a smirk on his face. The more time ticks by the more annoyed she becomes, “Are you fucking kidding me?” Damon just slings an arm over Elena’s shoulders leaning his side into hers ``Hey I'm just following orders sparky.” Nova looks between the two of them “I don't give a shit Damon; give me my fucking board you have no right to take it even if you're just “following orders''.” She makes quotation marks with her hand to try and convey her annoyance to the two. “Nov come on please?” Elena tries to give her the same old airy smile added with her famous ‘puppy eyes’, it makes Nova sick. Nova throws her head back and lets out a groan “Fucking fine, but we're taking the picture here and you’re only getting one.”  Elena slumps her shoulders ``Nov- ``'' Come one sparky that isn't fair.” Nova just shrugs her shoulders dramatically and drops them to her side with a thud. “Fair for who, Elena or me?” Damon goes to answer but Elena beats him to it “Fine, Damon go get my phone please.” The man gives a mock salute before walking back to the car to retrieve the item.
 Elena and Nova stand there in silence for a few seconds before Elena lets out a sigh “Why was it so hard for you to just let me take a picture of you?” the tone in her voice instantly set her off “Um, because as my older sister I expected you to listen to me when I tell you no, but it's all about what Elena wants right?” “Now it's not like that, you know mom and dad would want you to do this even if they aren't here.”  Novas was dumbfounded for a moment not knowing what to say her sister had never used their parents against her before, never. Nova could not convey the words; she just couldn't explain how hard that jab hit her. “Here you go, my lady.” Damon gives a dramatic bow as he places her phone into her hands, probably having heard the entire conversation. Nova doesn't have the energy to get into a catfight with her sister, so she just stands and smiles for the picture. As soon as the flash goes away Nova is storming towards the car, opening the back door and turning to look at the two. “You've already made me late, the least you can do is drive me, isn't that what you wanted?” she doesn't wait for a reply as she gets in and shuts the door behind her.
 When they finally pull up to the curb of the sidewalk that sits in front of the school, Nova immediately gets out of the car, slamming the car door shut behind her, cringing at the volume it created. Nova doesn't want to even talk to her sister or Damon so she just pounds her fist on the trunk of the car a couple of times, hoping Damon would get the hint. Fortunately for her, he did, he pops the truck to the car so she can grab her board, and as soon as she does, she's on the sidewalk taking off. “Nova!” she hears her sister exclaim from behind, she slows herself to a stop and looks back. Her sister is leaning out of the window of the car waving “Have a good day!” Nova raises her hand, acknowledging her sister's words before starting back up on her board and taking off towards the school entrance, the knot in her stomach only worsening.
The closer she got to the entrance of the building the more she was slowed down due to the crowd of people in front of her, even if she was a little late, she wasn't the only one. She hops off her board, kicking it up into her hands as she enters the familiar red building, going past the cafeteria and gym entrance, heading straight into the office doors, and up to the receptionist's desk. The little lady sitting behind the desk in front of her happened to be one of Nova’s favorite people.
 The old woman's name was Barb Booker, she had short curly gray hair with long white streaks on the sides. She always wore a hand-knit sweater no matter the temperature, and whatever color skirt she got to match. The only thing Nova liked about school was getting to say hello to Barb every morning. “Good morning, Barb, how are you this fine lovely morning?” Barb raises her head from her computer with a big smile on her face “Oh hello dear I'm doing amazing, it's so good to see you!” Nova giggles at the women's enthusiasm for the start of the new year. “How are you dearie, haven't seen you in quite some time.'' The twang of Barb's accent loosens the knot that had seemingly made a home in her stomach. “I'm doing alright Barb, just here to pick up my schedule.” at the mention of her purpose for her visit, she instantly got a playful glare from Barb ``Turning in elective three weeks late huh, what did you do fall in a rabbit hole?” Nova lets out a bark of laughter much louder than she anticipated because all heads turned to her and Barb. She sheepishly apologizes and turns back to her. “I guess, I had lots of cleaning to do this summer, got distracted, and forgot.” Barb pushes herself out of her chair to grab all the right documents for her, from the desk behind her. As she sits back down, she hands Nova the papers and a pen, “How is life going on at home?” Nova pauses for a second before continuing her signature “Uh, pretty much the same since the last time we talked.” Barb was the only one who knew how demanding and selfish Elena could be. The reason was Nova talked to and confided in her when her sister was being that way. “So, I'm assuming your elective was late because Elena made you clean?” instead of answering she just lets out a long sigh. Barb shakes her head as she hands the pen back to her. “Sweetpea you're eighteen now, have you thought about getting your own place?” she shrugs her shoulders “Sometimes, I don't have the funds to do that at the moment, and where would I go anyway Mystic Falls is a pretty small-town last time I checked” Barb was in the middle of her next sentence when the bell suddenly rang. Both of them jumped from the sudden interruption “Oh dear, I'm making you late, here.” Barb reaches over to grab an orange slip from a cubby next to her, a late slip for class she assumes. She hands the slip to Nova with a smile “You’ll come to see me later alright dear?” “Yes ma’am.” Nova smiles at her and turns to the door, opening it and moving down the hall to her first class of the senior year.    
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floshav · 1 year
Text
little confessions
fandom: Wednesday addams
trope: enemies to lovers
parings: fem!reader X xavier thorpe
heads up! i made up the hall name and her powers/ abilities lol so just keep that in mind
cussing involved
4th wall breaks here and there
obsessive! xavier
sad! reader
angst
bullying
mentions of TW : SH
Tumblr media
summary: Y/n never expected anyone to notice her at nevermore when she first settled in. However.. this wasnt the type of noticing she'd been longing for. Xavier would constantly pick on her abilities and looks, and this really drove y/n into a slow descending pit of depression. She never looked forward to school and the worst part was she was quite in a predicament seeing as she'd been sent away to a jail like boarding school. So why? why was she starting to grow these stupid feelings that any other girl in the school would feel towards playboy Xavier even though he was such an ass. What happends when Xavier stumbles upon a diary entree so carefully written with love and adornment by y/n pouring out her heart about Xavier himself.
----------------------------------------------------------------
first person pov
It was a freezing afternoon just outside aphrodite hall. So freezing that the glass on my window had formed a thin layer of ice ready to crack at any moment. Just within seconds... *crack* a small crack made its way onto the ice making a web like pattern appear. The sight awakened a warm toothy grin. Dont ask why.. I just like the cold very much, so much so that i'd have a wide smile plastered on me when it came to anything related to winter.
This was my favourite time of the year, not just because of the dull fog that sorrounded nevermore academy, but the way my powers flourished in winter. Since there was more snow and cold around, i could easily freeze or slow things down to my accord.
Even though yes, i do love my powers they can get a bit out of hand at times. This one time i accidently slowed down Wednesday in the halls while she was rushing to Eugenes beehive club or whatever that was, lets just say... i wake up to 'thing' scaring me every few nights or so now.
I was snapped out of my thoughts, when i took a glimpse at the clock that sat happily on my wall. it read 2:23 PM. shit!! my class started almost a half hour ago and im still here dazing off into the winter glow. Ah yes... the delightful winter glo- Snap out of it y/n!!
i quickly wrenched on my nevermore sweater and frantically dashed out the door, forgetting my school bag in the process. Ah shittt my bag! i didnt care anymore seeing as the clock was ticking faster and faster at every waking moment. I quickly found my way to the green room where class was being held and inhaled a large dose of sharp delightful winter air before slightly creaking the door open to the menacingly heated room.
There it was. The embarassing feeling of about 20 pairs of annoyed eyes on you. The one pair of eyes that i was trying to avoid the most of course, had to have a large smirk played on his face. That freaking idiot Xavier.
"miss y/l/n, late once again? thrice in a semester.. this is very unlike you. Please take your seat. Now." was the words that left Mrs. Thornhills mouth with great irk.
"im sorry miss. it wont happen again, i swear by it!" i stuttered while frantically yelling the last part of my sentence. i mentally facepalmed while accidently freezing the piece of chalk that was held in her pale hands in the process.
ah great. another awesome addition to my already amazing day.
"y/n! you have to learn to control your powers! what if this piece of chalk was me! i am sending you in to principle weems office for arrangement of outcast controlment classes later. is that clear?" mrs thornhill scorned with fear.
before i knew it, the worst of the worst had to happen. stupid adolescents snickering and whispering as if i couldnt hear them right infront of me, while i stood there frozen, ironically.. with tears ready to spill out at any moment.
i guess this was what it was like being the only one of my kind here.
"im sorry" were the only words i could muster out while scanning the class with my already fogged up eyes.
Great. The only place left was beside Xavier. why. just why.
i untastefully took my seat beside him while letting out a breath i didnt know i was holding in. Groggily dragging my belongings on the table to soon write whatever rubbish mrs. thornhill had written on the board.
"late again, spiderweb? this is very unlike you! you disgraceful, disgusting child!" Xavier mocked with mrs. thornhills accent
"shut the hell up you actual douche." i said while shoving his left shoulder playfully
"i told you to never EVER call me spiderweb again! Oh... and your thornhill accent needs a bit more sharpening but you're getting there." i said with annoyed nostalgia to the fact that i got the nickname from a stupid prank ajax played on me a few years ago that uhm.. lets just say involved plenty of spiders. Ah... what lovely... memories.
"okay, then is icefreak fine?" he said while trying to surpress a chuckle
"the hell did you just say? ice freak?" i irked because this was definitely crossing the line with our 'playful' banter.
"what if i called you a worthless nobody who's bad at art! yea i said it. all your art pieces are actual shit." i raged with pure venom lacing my words, until i felt cold water droplets begin to fall to my nose making me hope it wasnt what i thought it was.
"Gosh y/n chill tf out! you don't have to stoop THAT low icefreak.." He chuckled while covering his mouth now noticing the icy situation above my face.
"oh my god, your hair.. y/n your hair." He now said with full laughter raging in his bones, making everyone turn to see my embarassing pissible situation.
"As if her looks couldnt get any worst.." was the last sentence that left bianca's stupid siren mouth before i completely froze her into an iceblock.
"oh.. oh no- i- i- im sorry mrs. thornhill! if y-you would excuse me. p-please." i now said with icy tears fogging up my glasses before storming out the room with tromendous guilt and anger.
I found myself dazzily running a long the hallways to wherever they would lead me, not even caring for the direction they would possibly dump me in. I just needed to get out. To be free from the depths of people. Xavier. To finally breath in the winter air and feel calm.
At last, i found a small nook at the opening of a tree just by the rims of the nevermore forest, making it perfect for hiding. I let out a large sob while painfully covering my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater. It took a lot for me to start crying like this, yet Xavier managed to figure out a way to trigger my emotions so easily.
An endless stream of cold tears fled down my cheeks making them burn as time went on. I stayed in this position for a good few hours, just thinking about all the unethical things i could do to Xavier but would'nt because im just that much of an angel. (eyeroll)
XAVIERS POV (inside his mind)
This time i really felt bad. My words had finally crossed the line with y/n. But i just called her an icefreak.. shes just overly sensitive. right?
The constant thought of her being overly sensitive or me just being a complete asshole kept ramming through my head as i finally layed down on my cold pillow after a long day of praise for humiliating the snow freak, once again.
"Maybe i shouldn't have took it too far this time. No xavier stop. stop! stop stop stop! get her out of your head you ass!" were the words that constantly fled my mind.
Y/n had been living in my head rent free for the past couple of years. When she first moved, all i could think about was her and that stupid toothy grin she had, and the way her hair was always messy but kinda cute, oh and you cant forget her nose being constantly red due to her cool ice powers which always added to how cute she was... "Shit, no. Stop. shes ugly and weird Xavier! snap out of it again you actual freak."
Although it was dumb, its the only way i cope with these stupid feelings. "Its not like i have a crush on her right? Right. Yes completely right. Yes! Fuck!" Its a dumb cycle of me finding her seemingly attractive and funny, and then hating myself for it so i mock her and bring her down just to prove to myself that i infact! do not like her. But it always ends up with me feeling like complete and utter shit.
"Maybe i should just go check on her. Just for a bit.. Okay i swear just for a second and if she doesnt respond to my knock, i am out. yes. i will not knock even a second time. ONE KNOCK AND THATS IT XAVIER. ONE KNOCK. "
I carefully crept my way through the dark gloomy corridors, all the way to the female dormitories where i trotted my way up the spiral staircase leading to aphrodite hall. How i know what hall she's in? Its not even worth asking.. Lets just say a lot of stalking and obsessive nights longing to know where she resided.
Finally, i was in front of her delicate frosted door. "Damn, even her doors all frosty.. she really is one of a ki- SHUT THE HELL UP XAVIER."
I took atleast 10 deep breaths and mental preperation before knocking twice on her door. Standing there, waiting like a complete idiot to see if she was okay.
No response. Thats weird.. its only 9 o clock, surely she's not asleep.
I let my intrusive thoughts take over and gently twist the doorknob just to find out that it's been unlocked the whole time. Just as i entered, i was quickly wiffed up my a sudden drop in temperature, i guess this was the enviroment she was most comfortable in.
"Thats weird.. shes not even here?" I quickly made my way to her single bed that was sat on a bed frame of ice, breathing in every bit of her while i could, and finally realised that her bed hasnt even been touched. Everything was in place, from her plushies down to her blanket, not even a single crease made.
I began to scan her room for any possible clues to where she might be, and stumble upon.... a notebook?
The cover had beautiful snowflakes littered on it, which were seemingly real.. funny how they haven't melted yet. It also had a frozen lock which was... unlocked.. funnily.
Despite knowing this was some sort of diary, i opened it anyway and flipped through, every. single. page. Not being able to escape from the curiosity that overcame me.
Some pages made me giggle at her stupidness, and some made me borderline want to tear up. But the one page that really caught my attention was the one about her experience being called an ice freak in the past.
the entree read:
dearest diary,
another day at this god forsaken school. When ill be out? ill never know. i just hope its somewhere in the near future.
All my friends have moved on, they seemingly have forgotten about me while im still here dwelling on all the memories we had. It actually sucks knowing someones moved on to the future while youre still stuck in the past.
Anyway, a random group of girls called me an ice freak again. Would you believe that? Yetti slurs are still being used to this day. It pains me to have to hear them almost everyday. i just hope tomorrow will be better. Bye for now
who the fuck were those girls. i will literally end them tf? Shit. I just called her an ice freak earlier... shit shit shit. shit! i didnt even know the meaning behind it yet alone know that it was a slur??
now an immense amount of disgust towards myself was starting to build up, making me want to hurt myself like always whenever something i did really affected someone badly. It was a form of payback to myself. But this... this xavier... you really crossed the line you actual shit.
Just as i was about to get up and leave, the wind had other plans for me. It blew to a page which just made everything worst.
it read:
deeeearrrr diary,
i dont know why i even try anymore. its getting exhausting asf, but no matter how hard i try to get that stupid!!! boy off my mind, it never ever works. Hes already hurt me so much yet i want him.
why???? why do i want him?? Its not like he has to prettiest smirk or the hottest laugh. yea totally not, how am i gonna get turned on when he literally insults me?!?!? maybe its cuz i get to see his hot smile whenever he does that.... UGHHH snap out of it you idiot. He. Is. Xavier. Not some. random. hot guy.
Yet again... NO. NO Y/N NO.
Ah crap. She feels the same way. no no no. this cant be happening. no! so youre telling me i didnt have to do all those shitty things to get her to notice me?! what the actual hell is wrong with me. why couldnt i just have been a normal person and act nicely around her. Then again... my insults did technically turn her on.. NO it was still wrong you idiot! ARGHHH
This time i dashed out the room with the diary in hand, determined to find y/n and tell her how sorry i was that i was such a dick.
hours passed by, trying to find any trace of her but it was like she vanished off the face of planet earth.
Until suddenly, i heard faint snapping sounds coming from somewhere in the forbidden forest.
"ARGH GET OUT YOU STUPID, STUPID! ICICLE. ARGHHH" were the words i heard followed by a faint sob. i immedietly knew, it was y/n.
i ran as fast as i could into the direction of the sound and finally layed my eyes upon a girl who was struggling to unfreeze her hair in the winter breeze. y/n.
3rd person view
Y/n noticed a presence staring at her from a distance and immediately was startled to find out it was Xavier.
"Y/n... y/n- is that y-you?" Xavier said faintly while loose hair hung low near his eyes making him a sight for sore eyes.
"No" y/n muttered while trying to hide her face behind the arms of her sweater
"Y/n. i know it's you. Please p-please. I'm so so sorry, i didn't mean anything i said." Xavier now said seemingly with a sad tone like he was genuinely sorry, but y/n thought it was just a sick game to hurt her even more.
"J-just leave me the hell alone Xavier. You've ruined my entire school life here, why can't you j-just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" y/n yelled now frustrated that Xavier was there at every turn she made, making her unable to ever be by herself, just for once to collect herself.
"I just really, really fucking like you!" Xavier blurted out with tears cupping his eyes.
"I- what?" were the only words that could leave y/n's speachless mouth.
"i-i know i've been a dick, and i-im so so sorry for that. I j-just don't know how to properly cope with these feelings that i've never felt towards anyone before. It's like, you've got me in a trance y/n. I can't seem to escape you. You're in every thought, in every meal, just in every fucking breath i take! You're always on my mind." Xavier now confessed with a red blushed up face and teary eyes. As if y/n could deny his confession at any waking moment.
"Y-you l-like me?" Y/n was in disbelief at the abrupt confession made by her nemesis.
"Well you shouldn't have acted like a complete and utter jerk! I swear to god Xavier, you've hurt me so much, a-and now you want to confess! And to think that i've had these feelings for you too!" y/n now said with hot, yes hot tears trickling down her face.
Without even realising, They were now inches a part staring into each others endless orbs, waiting for the next word, the next breath or even the next move.
Suddenly, y/n found herself staring down at Xavier's lips that were now parted and red.
She gently looked up into his eyes one more time, before finally letting that aching feeling of yearning go.
With that their lips were locked, and to Xavier's surprise, it was y/n's move this time.
"Just know, that i still fucking hate you Xavier Thorpe. Just a little less."
"I really like you too y/n. And i mean really."
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GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ABOMINATION. IT TOOK ME LIKE 2 DAYS TO WRITE 😭 AHH its so bad but i need to get something out so bare with my horrible writing... this was indeed an attempt at angst so i hope you enjoyed..?
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drmazel · 7 months
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okay so today during my lunch break i unpacked a huge aspect of glyn's personality that underlies everything they do i think. written as a sort of diary entry from their perspective, about 1600 words under the cut. it's maybe kinda sad so watch out
You would think after the first dozen times, I would have learned my lesson.
It started when I was very young. Well, by my own standards. I must have been around thirty years old, pretty soon after I joined up on my first ship. I wasn’t anyone special, just another part of the crew. And so was he. It didn’t take years for us to grow closer. We didn’t find the virtues buried deep within one another’s souls and light each other’s flames or anything like that. He would hurl insults at me, I would throw punches at him, and that evening we would be laughing over beers until both our faces were soaked with tears and our entire bodies were begging for air. Just a couple of nobodies, bonding over the slop we ate and the shit that poured out of the captain’s mouth.
He had the charisma to rise up the ranks, but lacked the desire and was a bit too fond of drink to really make anything of himself. But he saw the potential in me. He knew I could demand the respect that so many others denied me on the basis of the shape of my ears. So, he helped me rise up. He made sure to help me let others know that I was not to be fucked with.
And he was there when the Sylvan Corsair came to be. He was there when I found the Silver Dagger and took it for my own. Wrinkled, and gray, and slower than when we had first met. But there.
And then one day he wasn’t.
He had decided to retire. He’d taken more than enough loot to love comfortably for decades, and his bones ached, and he just wanted a break. I saw him every few months still, every time I made port to resupply. I got to share stories of what I had been up to, he got to share stories of how he did fuck all, and we laughed over beers until both our faces were soaked with tears and his body was begging for air. Somehow I didn’t think much of it. Somehow I had completely missed the signs.
After a decade or so of this arrangement, I came back to port one day with tales of the most exciting adventure I had been on yet. I was bristling with anticipation of his reaction, of the questions he would ask and the quips I would return in answer. But he was gone. And that was it.
I had friends leave my life before then, of course I did. But usually they had just decided pirating wasn’t for them anymore, or took a sword to the gut. But now here I was, eighty years old and finally faced with my first lesson of the fleeting nature of everyone else around me.
No one had been in my life as long as he had. No one was so central to who I had become and who I chose to be. And now he was gone forever and I was expected to live another seven hundred years or so without him.
I don’t even remember his name.
I think I got a bit colder after that. I worked with my crew, I led us through struggles, but I kept everyone at arm’s length. I didn’t want to get close to anyone like that again. Not when I knew I would have to outlive them by centuries.
But despite my best efforts, it happened again. And my heart broke again. And again. And again.
Every time I dug myself deeper into my work, as it were. I sought greater bounties, fought riskier battles, faced more tumultuous storms. I wasn’t looking for death, not deliberately at least. I think I just figured that if minimizing risk meant I was essentially going to live forever as far as the human-dominated society around me was concerned, I might as well give my near-immortality a challenge. And if I lost I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of watching everyone I care about die one after the other after the other.
I knew I was setting myself up for heartbreak again when I took Maddy under my wing and raised her like my own. I had no idea it would happen the way it did, though. I’ll never forgive her throwing her hat in with the Brotherhood, but a terrible part of me is almost glad that means I at least won’t mourn her passing. Gods, she must be pushing 80 now. Any fucking day.
The fucking Brotherhood. They took everything from me and didn’t even make the effort to at least make sure they killed me properly. My livelihood was gone forever and I was expected to live another five hundred years or so without it. Without the opportunity to see what level of stupidity it took to cut my long life short.
What else was I going to do but mope? What else was I going to do but drown myself in drink? What else was I going to do, once I ran out of money for booze, but wander and see whatever work I could take to pass the hours?
I really don’t remember much about the first twenty years after the Brotherhood disposed of the Sylvan. I barely even remember why I decided carpentry would get me through the days. It gave me enough wage to fill my belly and have somewhere comfortable and dry to rest for the day. It was mindless enough that I didn’t have to think about tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow, and the five hundred years of tomorrows that would come after that. That was all that mattered.
Then Sivan happened. And suddenly, for the first time in over three hundred years, tomorrow held more than just another chance to see what danger I could put myself in.
I don’t know how she did it. I didn’t understand what she saw in me at the time. But it’s like she looked straight into my soul, straight through the swearing and debauchery and murder, and found the part of me that couldn’t help but keep loving people, despite the dread of inevitably losing them. And she outshone that dread with the realization that inevitability didn’t mean right now didn’t matter. It meant right now matters more than any other moment.
I reveled in every right now I shared with her. I was uplifted by the thought that tomorrow would bring more right nows that we would spend together. We brought Adrian into the world, and he became a second layer of right nows and tomorrows to intertwine with the ones we already had.
Three and a half decades of bliss. Three and a half decades of life mattering for once.
Then one day I came home from some multi-day construction project, and she stood in the doorway as I approached, hands clasped to her chest and her face shining with joy at my return. And suddenly my heart fell.
When was the last time she had dashed out the door and nearly tackled me to the ground with her embrace? When had her hair gotten so gray?
I don’t think I ever held her so tight. She must have thought that job had really gone tits up.
And of course she’s not getting any younger. It takes her ever so slightly longer to stand up from her seat. She massages her hands more often as she performs her intricate wood carvings. She’s getting old. Fucking hell, my wife is getting old.
She’s too smart to not have figured out what’s been bothering me by now. I think she’s tried to bring up the subject a few times. I keep brushing it off before she really has the chance to. I know what she’ll say. That someday she’ll be gone and she wants me to continue living my life without her. But it’s not like I have any other fucking choice but to continue living my life without her. I don’t need to hear it. I just need right now.
And then the Brotherhood had to come again and say I don’t even get that much.
They destroyed my life before. Now they nearly killed my wife.
She tried to stop me from doing this. She wanted me to face the town and explain what happened, that I was innocent and had nothing to do with this crime the Brotherhood seemed to be framing me for. She didn’t want me to run away from my problems again. But this is the opposite of me running from my problems. The Brotherhood made themselves my problem. They don’t get to walk away from what they’ve done to me, I told her. They’re going to pay.
But already I’m starting to doubt that. What’s going to happen when I bring them down? If I bring them down? Is this just me trying to get myself killed again? Even if I do destroy them, even if I do get to be the big fucking hero, what then?
Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll have it all sorted out in time to go home and watch my wife die. Then I’m just expected to live another four hundred years or so without her.
I’ll still have Adrian. For another hundred and fifty years or so. Then I’m just expected to live another two hundred years or so without him.
And nothing will matter again.
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ambiguouspuzuma · 1 year
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I hadn't meant to ruin her life. It had just sort of happened, somewhere in between the wedding and the funeral, a cascading tragedy I began at the reception - and for what? The kiss was done and over in a second, and I can barely even remember it now. All I know is that it wasn't worth it, in any case: it might have been the most romantic moment of my life, and it still couldn't have been worth all of the horror that has followed since.
I honestly don't know what I was thinking, or if I had been thinking at all. Pete and I had been drunk, but that was no excuse, and I had none to offer when she caught us. My poor, gentle Tilda. The best friend I could have ever asked for. Of course I'd tried to apologise, but of course it was in vain. The same was true for him: that had been that for the marriage, and for our friendship, as well as for any individual chance of happiness. I don't think any of us have had a moment of it since.
After all that time planning the ceremony, it had killed Tilda's mother to see the whole thing all fall apart. She'd always had a dodgy heart, and the shock and despair, after such a joyous day, had been too much for her to take. Tilda tried her best to plan her the perfect funeral in return, but she was barely alive at that point herself, lost to drink and self-loathing. They say that it was tasteful, as these things go, but of course I wasn't invited. Even back then, I'd thought that it was probably for the best.
As one final sting in the tail, Pete, now Tilda's soon-to-be-ex-husband, had blamed himself for the whole affair, and took his own life the next week. He'd wrong about that, though: my memories of that night were faded, but I'd kept enough to know that I'd come on to him, not the other way around. I'd poured the wine, and chosen the music, and leant in close. It was my fault. I just wasn't as brave as him: not brave enough to do the right thing for myself, and give our Tilda the justice she deserved. There had been too much death and sorrow in this whole ordeal, and I'd only taken my share of the latter. The former was a debt I knew was overdue.
"Would you like me to take your picture?"
The couple are struggling to take a selfie together. I find that it's a familiar story on this bank of the river, where the skyline forms such a tempting backdrop behind them, but the phone needs to be held more than an arm's length away to fit it all in.
"No, that's no trouble," I say, waving away their gratitude and the proffered phone. "I'll tell you what, I'll use my one and send the photo over to you. My camera is much better quality, and I know you'll want the best possible memory of this perfect day together."
I keep a copy for myself, once I've shared the snaps with them. I have dozens of them, framed around my flat, propped up on the mantelpiece and printed onto fridge magnets. It's one of the many things I do to be prepared. Like the entries I keep in my private diary, detailing a fictional affair with a man I refer to only as J, and the fear of discovery by his rightly jealous wife.
"I'll kill you," she'd said, or sobbed, or screamed. Tilda, that is; not the fictional wife. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another - the memory of seeing her that day, a woman broken beyond repair, is too disturbing to hold still in my mind, and it shifts and turns as nightmares do. Tilda's image still haunts me - and, like all good ghosts, it doesn't ever let me settle into peace.
I knew she meant the threat. It was only fair. I'd taken her life, in a sense. Sooner or later, once she had grown drunk enough on hatred and Dutch courage, she would come calling for my head. I will let her, I have decided. I will let poor Tilda kill me. She deserves that, at least. If it will bring her even the slightest measure of peace, I owe her my life, in part-exchange for hers. But I will not let her be locked up for it. I will not see her suffer even more on my account.
On the way home, I get into a shouting match with a man who didn't see me step into the road. He could have killed me, I say, although I know he couldn't have. That honour is not his to bestow. But he grows red in the face, and there are plenty of witnesses. An orange car, I noticed as it approached the corner. Very distinctive. Definitely memorable.
I am always on the lookout for motives: fishing for shoals of red herring, flocks of wild geese for the police to chase, scattering breadcrumbs for them to follow in their circles. The detectives who catch my case will exhaust themselves tracking down all of those people, and hopefully lose Tilda in the forest of these other leads. Her motive is a clear one, but perhaps it won't stand out if I can clutter up my deathbed with the others.
This is the only way I can repay her: with my life, laid out for the taking, without any more misery for her. This is the only way to make things right. I've thought of ending things myself, but that would be to rob her all over again: the has promised to kill me, and I will not deny her that satisfaction. I can only make it easier for her. A banquet of revenge, served cold, and offered on a silver platter.
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