Graves. Shepard. Laswell. Even Price. Ghost knows what he has with soap is fragile, bubble light and just as explosive as anything Soap could ever come up with. He trusted Price, he did. But ever since that mission with graves where everything went to shit, he keeps thinking of Johnny, his Sargent alone and hurt, in a village filled with shadows, just barely scraping past losing more and more blood the longer he stays there.

Ghost doesn’t trust anyone. Not even himself. He places his whole heart, his life, his mind, his body, his everything to Soap, whatever he wants, he’ll do it. Before soap, he’s always been good at being a weapon, a mutt if he thinks about it long enough. To his Dad, to Roba, to Shepard. He knows what it feels like to be dehumanised, desenitised to whatever the hell people see him as. A monster, a spirit, an unknown. He doesn’t care.

But.

Soap does. He does care. And fuck, if that doesn’t break down every single god-damned wall he meticulously built up to completely sweep him away and keep him safe. Alone. Together. Just them and no one else. He knows he doesn’t need anything else he doesn’t want anything else he just. Wants. Johnny. Johnny might not belong to him, but Simon knows that every single atom of himself belongs to johnny.

Ghost knows better than anyone else how dangerous it is to be associated with him. And he won’t let the same thing that happened to his family happen to Johnny. So he does the opposite of what his heart wants. He keeps his distance, doesn’t talk more than necessary, showing everyone that they’re just teammates, friendly just for the sake of the task force.

But under closed doors, in the private channel, ghost lets Simon loose. He holds Johnny tight, he tucks his head into the crook of his neck, and he relaxes. Simon felt like a snake, twisting and turning, gripping harder and harder onto his desire. Here, where the world is only him and Johnny, Simon takes his time. He gets lazy and carefree as much as he gets, sinks into the solid warmth of Johnny’s presence. Alone. Together.

Pet peeve: whenever people react to/present dirty talk out of context and are like "wtf, this is so weird this is so gross/cringe" ect. ect. Yeah. All dirty talk is cringe when you aren't fucking. Just the normal shit 90% of people say is cringe when you aren't horny and enjoying it in a sex way. Thats why smut is so hard to write, because you either need to make dirty talk that isn't cringe (almost impossible) or manage to create the space that puts dirty talk in context (less difficult, still can be hard, depends on how much the reader is willing to lean in). If you read almost any smut when you aren't ready to get horny about it, its going to be cringe as a rule. Some of the shit I see people react to as "bad smut" in books is just... normal dirty talk. Very normal dirty talk, not even weird or awkward. Do you fuck?? Its fine if you don't, it just seems like you're not qualified to be assessing this text idk

I think one of the most surprising parts of transition, specifically going on testosterone, is just how... normal it felt to me. When I was watching other people go on testosterone and describe how they felt, I anticipated that I'd feel the huge emotions, the spark, I guess. But I didn't. If anything, I went from being a neurotic mess to being... normal. Almost painfully normal. It's like I've gotten a cloth and dusted off this thing I call my body.

I honestly think it's interesting how natural I feel on testosterone. I never really thought I could feel this normal, but I do. It's like I can stand in a crowd and not feel like eyes are watching me, like ants crawling on a log.

literally cant wait for bigb etho and bdubs to team next life series they will be called the b team despite etho's complete lack of a b in the name (he joined the team 5 minutes too late and didnt get a say in what it was called) and it'll be the best team that the life series has ever created (source: trust me i was told in multiple multiple dreams)

I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

I know the gang cares about Arthur and they knew his sickness was serious and it's part of the narrative and whatnot, but really would it have killed them to just offer the occasional "is there anything you need Arthur?" or "anything we can do to help?" or even "how are you feeling today?" - I'm sure Arthur would rather be pestered slightly than have his rapid illness get straight up ignored yknow?

Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”

Me when assassins r in a classroom (and are all in middle school)

clint mcelroy creating a dnd character: oh yeah, this bad boy can fit so much simple zest for life in him

okay confession time ive been reading too much of twilight-critical fanfiction and it just struck me how utterly disconnected Bella is. Like, her mother's off doing her own thing, in her own world, Charlie Swan, as much as i like his character, he feels like a non entity to me, and her friends in forks are literally loose threads brushed off. it's like her shield (or shield-adjacent) ability has been affecting her even before she was a vampire

suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.

we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡

so hard and lonely to be one of like five people in the entire world to see the truth (iron man 2 is a better movie than infinity war)

#me

was going to start writing an essay about the possible overlap between christianity and OCD and then I remembered im on Tumblr dot com and also a fucking idiot when it comes to putting things into words