plaid-maniac
I Am Plaid lol
Maladog is my father and I am his sun.Call me dogo.
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this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby
#I have many pairs of pants#most of them are old jeans that I’ve had for 10 plus years#some of them are old leggings I’ve had for 10 plus years#and some are newer pants because I needed slacks and a pair of jeans without holes in them (according to my mom)
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#kids are awesome and like dealing with one or two is fine#but if I try and deal with like three or more I do not know how to handle them#it’s a mix of a lack of experience with kids and a lack of understanding people in general
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HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die
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Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.
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People talk about the surprise albums from people like Taylor Swift or Beyoncé that drop with zero warning but I have just been existing in this world where every album I've ever heard in my life has been a surprise album because I didn't know that musicians had schedules that we could see
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I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"
basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.
she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.
if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.
because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.
a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.
instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.
she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.
when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍
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As an adult I think me and all my friends should all have matching schedules and work like 20 hours a week and also everyone lives within 15 minutes of each other why is that so much to ask
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You’re meeting the friend of a friend for the first time, who’s apparently an empath. When they shake your hand, they immediately rip their hand away from you.
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if i told you what rhis sounded ljke i dont think youd believe me so just listen
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this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz
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leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this
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pov patrol is boring so you just make stupid jokes and references with your brother
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You know how there's a subset of martial arts Tiktok where people post short vids of them doing a quick routine/choreography?
People in Gotham post blurry clips of the Bats, and a few martial artists challenge each other to reproduce the moves. One vid goes viral and more people start to give it a try, including non martial artists, who just meme with the choreography/try to imitate some moves just in good fun (and whoa some dancers and gymnasts do surprisingly well)
It naturally gets back to the Wayne brood, except, of course, the real challenge for them is to fail in a believable way.
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Tim, on camera: "I was nearly good enough for the Olympics, surely I can do that...? Let's find out."
[cue footage of him falling down, cartoon-style, right as Damian was walking by and getting both of them drenched in Dami's smoothie]
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Jason sees the compilation someone made of Bruce's ridiculous attempts at reproducing the moves (Tim and Steph roped him into their shenanigans.)
Two days later, a video of Red Hood goes viral: it's him condescendingly explaining how to throw a punch and challenging Bruce Wayne to do it properly because "no Gothamite should be so shit at fighting"
Bruce is verklempt when he watches it, because some of it is word-for-word how he taught baby!Jay
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Tim gives Damian blurry, grainy footage of Black Bat to imitate. After that, Dami spends days hounding Cass for training because he nearly broke his nose tripping over his own feet.
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Dick flawlessly lands a flip in front of all the others with "ASSERTING DOMINANCE" written on screen before winking at the camera.
Right before the video cuts, Tim's voice can be heard saying, "Whatever, your ass is still flat compared to Nightw—"
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We can be mad at home
orrrrrrrrrr we can go to Jason's
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while you were studying girls i was kissing the blade
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